#please just find a community in your life with whom you can talk about these issues

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 Cherry Picking.

Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Summary: After your first night with Spencer, you wake up and see that he's left you two dollars and a thank-you note on your bedside table.

Words: 2,3k.

TW: lots of mentions and references to sex, but nothing completely explicit. the reader is quite dramatic and has little faith in men (literally me, sorry). SO MUCH chaos and lack of communication but happy ending. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: This idea just came to me out of the blue, and I have to say that Sex and the City has had a bit of an influence. I love the chaos, the conversations between friends, and Spencer being the best man in the world (I'm picturing him kind of like in his season four version).

♡ Enjoy! ♡

Saturday afternoon

“Two dollars?!”

Penelope's and JJ's simultaneous exclamations and surprised faces when you finished speaking were pretty much to be expected. They noticed a change in your expression and took a moment to compose themselves, as did the rest of the people in the room, who glanced curiously at your table from time to time. It was certainly a fascinating sight, three women having an animated conversation about their lives over milkshakes as if they were drinks, especially considering that one of them was pregnant and her belly looked like it was about to explode.

You didn't blame anyone for reacting that way, especially not your friends. You were still pretty shocked by what happened, especially by how thoughtless the man you'd developed feelings for and worked closely with over the past few years was. It was a unsettling to find a tip on your nightstand after one of the most memorable nights you'd ever had. You still remembered the excitement you felt when you went to Spencer's apartment yesterday to watch a movie as part of your fourth or fifth date. He seemed nervous when you started kissing more intensely, and the couch wasn't the best setting. The sensation of your body on his bed and his lips on your skin was incredible.

It was a good memory, extremely good if you took away the embarrassment of waking up the next day in his empty bed with money waiting for you, as if you had performed a service.

“Maybe there was a misunderstanding and the money was left on the table by mistake.” Jennifer spoke again in a reassuring tone after turning the matter over. “Spencer can be a little clumsy sometimes.”

You pressed your lips together in a thin line as you listened to her attempt to provide an explanation for his actions. But given their friendship, this was to be expected.

“And he was in a hurry to catch his plane and go to his mother.” Garcia added with a forced smile, trying to lift your spirits. “It all makes sense.”

Yes, it was understandable that he was leaving in a hurry because he had to catch a flight to spend his weekend off with his mother. That didn't worry you, but there was something else that was curious.

“How do you explain the thank-you note?” You asked, taking out the paper and the two dollars you'd pulled out to show them as proof from your purse.

“It was a thank you for hanging out with him, a sweet gesture.” JJ said, taking a sip of her milkshake and patting her belly.

It seemed more like a sour gesture to you, that you had been left with your dignity on the floor. As you left his apartment, you didn't know whether to cry or laugh because it sounded like a bad joke that the only man you thought was decent and for whom you allowed yourself to have feelings would do such a thing.

“My love life is going downhill.” You said.

Just then, the restaurant door opens and Emily appears. After greeting her and apologizing for her late arrival, she asks about the cause of your apparent distress. As a profiler, she was astute enough to know something was wrong just by looking at you.

“What's wrong, honey?” She started talking as soon as she sat down next to you and took a quick look at the table. “Those milkshakes look good, I want one.”

“Spencer thinks I'm a prostitute.” You spoke up without thinking, which surprised Emily and caused her to briefly lose her grip on the menu.

There was a long, awkward silence.

Perhaps you were too direct in saying something that you had been trying to ignore for your own mental health.

“Just a heads-up, we've got a baby in the room. No need to say that word!” Penelope was the first to speak, gently covering JJ's belly with her hands. “He can hear you.”

At that moment, Reid and his comments about pregnancy data at every stage came to mind. You felt a little uncomfortable because you knew it was a little unrealistic to focus on the positives at a time like this.

“Oh, I'm so sorry, baby.” You looked regretfully at your friends and spoke to Jennifer's belly, giving it a gentle caress. “Don't listen.”

“I need context, please.” Emily said confusedly, trying to understand what was going on and why you had said what you had said.

You let out a deep breath, preparing yourself to recount the story once more.

“Okay, Spencer and I made...milkshakes. Very good milkshakes, really good if you know what I mean.” You tried to explain slowly, watching your words and your friends' expressions. “I woke up when he was leaving, he gave me a kiss on my forehead and said to keep sleeping, that he had to catch his flight.”

“That's sweet, but weird to know.” Emily commented quizzically, looking at the menu intently again. “What's the part...you know?”

“Oh, when he thought I was-” You stop yourself as you see how JJ looks at you. “A pie maker.”

You could tell from their expressions that they were about to laugh at your attempts to keep the conversation friendly.

“I woke up hours later to find two dollars on the nightstand with a thank-you note.” You finished the story. “To him, I'm worth two fu...sugary dollars.”

Prentiss stared at you for several seconds, waiting for me to tell her it was a joke. Only when that didn't happen did she speak. “That sounds weird and awful, but I don't think he would do something like that on purpose. Especially you, he really likes you.”

“He likes me enough to give me two dollars.”

When you finished speaking, you experienced a moment of discomfort in your stomach as your own words took effect. You were surprised to find that on a deeper level, what had happened was causing you more pain than you had anticipated.

“That doesn't sound like Reid at all. I've known him for years, and he's not that kind of man.” Penelope said with a frown, trying to reassure you. “I'm sure it's a mix-up.”

You were looking for the same thing and hoping it was just a misunderstanding, but your previous bad experiences made you think otherwise. You'd met enough men to know that they could always be worse. What was different now was that you really liked this particular man. You really longed for him to be different from everyone else.

However, things weren't always as you'd hoped. You'd invested a lot of hope in making your fairy tale come true, and it was starting to take its toll.

“Have you had a chance to speak with him?” JJ inquired.

“He's with his mother, I won't bother him.” You replied with a strange simplicity that made your friends suspicious. “I'm fine, I've calmed down.” You added as you saw their worried faces.

“I love you, but sometimes you scare me.” Emily said, watching you drink from your smoothie as if it contained a painkiller. “It's not okay to pretend that everything's fine.”

“It's understandable to feel a bit discouraged about this. Things may seem challenging at the moment, but I believe things will improve when you discuss this with him.” Jennifer's hand gently touched yours, offering a comforting gesture.

“I'm sure everything will be fine. You have our support if you need it.” Penelope joined in with the motivational words and gave you a reassuring smile.

You took the last sip of your milkshake and leaned back in your seat for a moment before replying. “I'm fine, girls. I don't plan to lose my head over a man, I promised myself.”

They looked at you with some skepticism, but you didn't flinch. You were confident that if you were mentally prepared not to be defeated, or at least not to look defeated, you would be well prepared for the day of the meeting.

You weren't going to lose your mind over this.

Monday morning

You were definitely losing your mind, and no cup of tea or internet video that promised to do so had been able to relax you one bit. You had been cooped up in the office you shared with Penelope for several minutes, pacing in your chair while everyone in the conference room waited for information about a new case and your presence. The mere thought of having to face Reid again was making you feel pretty uneasy.

All weekend, you had been trying to reassure yourself that you were doing well, that you were not hurt or affected by what happened, that it was just one more disappointment to add to the long list you had written since you were a teenager, and that it was normal for someone with your luck. You were not a princess, you were not going to meet a prince, and you were old enough to know that.

But being in the same building as your prince turned toad was not as easy as you had hoped. You prayed that your presence would not be necessary and that the jet would soon take off to take them all away, especially him.

A few sudden knocks on the door startled you. You automatically thought it was your boss coming to scold you for being late, and your blood froze.

“I apologize for the delay, Hotch. I assure...” You spoke promptly as soon as the door opened and a male figure appeared.

But obviously, it wasn't him.

“Oh, sorry, I'm not Hotch. But hey, how are you?” Spencer smiled at you and walked toward you, looking a little nervous.

“Fine.” You replied dryly, getting up from your seat to grab your tablet and some folders to carry into the conference room.

In your mind, you had planned to make a scene as soon as you saw him and make it clear that you didn't cost just two dollars. But after thinking about it a lot, the fear of losing your job over it was greater. And now it was a mixture of that reasoning with your feeling of paralysis at actually having him in front of you.

“I...I missed you over the weekend.” He stopped you before you could walk away, gently holding your hand. The feeling alone made you stop and look at him angrily. “I thought about you a lot, too much, and I bought you something.” He let go of your hand to pull a small box out of his pocket.

“How dare you?” You blurt out, taking a step back.

He looked a little uncomfortable and seemed to be in pain. “I'm sorry if I overstepped. I didn't mean to impose. Did I cross a line? I'm so sorry, I just thought-”

“What? That you could embarrass me even more? Didn't I already go through enough?”

That's when you took out two dollars from your purse and gave it to him.

“Could I ask why this is?” Spencer was still frowning and looked just as hurt as you.

His apparent lack of understanding of the situation made you much angrier. You had thought he was probably the smartest man you had ever met in your entire life, but suddenly, in your eyes, he was an idiot.

“I'm refunding your payment, Reid.” You replied firmly, without hiding your frustration.

The confusion on his face seemed to multiply as he tried to understand. “What are you talking about? I gave you your money back.”

You tilted your head slightly to one side.

“Saturday morning, I left on the nightstand the two dollars you lent me a week ago when we bought coffee. You know I don't like being in debt.” Spencer began to explain calmly, taking a moment to gather his thoughts and present the facts in a clear and concise manner.

Oh, you do remember lending him money at some point, or rather, inviting him for coffee that he said he'd pay you back. That day when his hair was perfect in the wind, when he smiled at you and told you some interesting facts about coffee beans.

“I mentioned it when I said goodbye, but you looked so tired that I left you a thank you note in case you forgot.” He went on to explain. “A lot of studies say that you wake up to full strength at least 20 to 30 minutes after you actually open your eyes. And you still had them closed when I said goodbye.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I...I thought you-” You fell silent as you saw the stunned look on his face. You didn't want to look crazy, so you quickly added. “I just thought wrong.”

“I'm sorry, I don't understand.” He said, a little embarrassed. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh, no, I just...did you bring me a gift?” You changed the subject, taking the box he had previously offered you. Inside was a necklace with a cherry blossom charm.

“Your computer wallpaper is a picture of cherry blossoms. And I saw this necklace in a store when I was walking with my mom, and I thought you might like it. But it's okay if you don't want it-” He spoke fast until you interrupted him.

“I love it, thank you.” You smiled at him and took the necklace out of the box. “Could you help me with this?”

With some trepidation and uncertainty still present, Spencer positioned himself behind you with the jewel in his hands, carefully brushed your hair aside and fastened the necklace around your neck. The sensation of his fingers brushing against your skin made you feel a slight shiver.

“Thanks.” You said as you turned around to face him. You gave him a hug, though you were a little unsure.

He returned your embrace, feeling a sense of relief that things between you were okay. “You don't have to thank me.”

“It's not about the gift. It's just a way to say thanks for being you.”

Perhaps he was your prince after all.

[genderqueerdykes]

14 year old transgender girl Pauly Likens was unjustly robbed of her life due to trans panic between the dates of June 22nd and July 3rd, 2024. say her name.

i have seen only one or two posts about this, but none of them include her name and it sickens me. Her name is Pauly Likens, a 14 year old transgender girl from Sharon, Pennsylvania who met up with a 29 year old man whom she met on Grindr who was brutally murdered and her body was dismembered because she was a trans girl. she went missing on June 22nd, and her dismembered body was found on July 3rd, 2024. her body was DISMEMBERED and thrown into a river. she was not only murdered but BRUTALLY murdered. she was 14 years old. 14. she couldn't even legally drive yet in the united states. she just barely graduated elementary school.

her mother is fighting for her case to be processed and acknowledged as a hate crime. i am disgusted to find out that my home state of Pennsylvania only considers racial discrimination as real discrimination that can be persecuted by law. gender identities and sexual orientations are not considered at all. lawyers and government officials are also trying to deny that it was a hate crime, because her murderer was a self admitted gay man. i don't care what type of queer you are: there is never an excuse to lay hands on a transgender person just because you don't like how they identify.

this is utterly sickening. to say this wasn't a hate crime is living in denial. i don't care if her murderer was gay. he's a murderer who had a clearly charged reason for doing this. he stole a life from a young transgender girl for no reason other than she identified in a way he didn't like. he's not dangerous because he's gay, nor is he exempt from being transphobic. his sexuality had nothing to do with this. not only was this man a dangerous transphobe, but a predator. a 29 year old man willingly met up with a 14 year old child. this man is dangerous for reasons that have nothing to do with his sexuality. he's a transphobic child predator. he deserves no sympathy or to get off scott free just because he's gay. he willingly met up with Pauly. she didn't force him to do anything. she was a child, and he is an adult.

please say her name. while talking about the dangers of Grindr and how minors should not use it, please include her name. yes Grindr is an extremely dangerous platform for trans women, men, and trans people in general, but that shouldn't be the focus of your conversation about her. don't use her death as a platform to discuss how fucked up grindr is without acknowledging who she was as a person. don't just make her another statistic on a page. she was a real person, a child, who was robbed of her life, and robbed from her community. she is not just another number in a long list of trans panic murders. her life meant something. say her name. fight like hell for Pennsylvania to acknowledge that her death WAS a hate crime. their archaic outdated laws need updating.

her family has a GoFundMe to give her a proper burial, please consider donating or spreading the word about it:

here is a news article that genders her correctly where you can read more about what happened:

rest in power, Pauly Likens, we miss you. you are loved. we will fight like hell for you and your family. remember her.

[generallyjl]

online queer spaces and discussions would be so much more bearable (if not actually fruitful) if everybody could work a little harder to accept that sometimes people understand themselves and communicate that understanding in ways that you personally think are nonsensical, cringe, and/or weird. it's okay to see somebody's otherwise harmless thoughts and expressions about gender/sexuality that strike you as fully 100% fuckin' bonkers or somehow incorrect, and to just scoff and move on instead of doing a Internet Discourse™ about it.

do I "get" every gender or sexual identity/framework I come across online? nah. does that mean those things are inherently an imminent threat to Queerness Everywhere and must be taken out swiftly at the knees? also nah. sometimes people are weird or complicated or even just bad at expressing the nuances of self on the internet. if I wanna puzzle about any of that, I can do so without posting about it on the world wide web as some sorta spectacle.

[rsventhesecondd]

Broken promises, part two

╰ • →  Featuring . Itoshi Rin, and Itoshi Sae ! ╯

sypnosis . whereas— you're blood related with two famous soccer players world wide. In other words, siblings.

warnings . angst, fluff, use of vulgar words, slight spoilers, foreshadowing ( ? )

note . some parts may seem rushed or ooc in other peoples opinion. english isn't my first language, so please bare with oncoming vocabulary or grammatic mistakes. 

—

" Okay, next up is [name] and Rin! So, what are your dreams? " the teacher asked, smiling as she slowly leads them to the front of the class. 

"My dream for the future is; to be a football player, like my brother. My brother is going to be the best striker in the world, and I'm going to be the second best." Rin said nonchalantly— " And I'm gonna be a well known journalist! My dream is to follow my brothers, and watch them as they become the first and second best football player in the world!" you added with a bright smile. Rin was still in his preserved demeanor, but deep down he was ecstatic. He always was whenever talking about football or his big brother, Sae. As much as he loves his brother, he wasn't really much of talker.

Rather, just like his older brother, he never really learned how to express these unsystematical feelings of his the usual upfront and direct way— so he chose to find a different way itself. And that was communicating through football.  

But to your dismays, the brother you and Rin have admired has changed. He was no longer the unconcerned, but nevertheless caring brother. He had turned wintry, rather–cold , and unsympathetic. Who knew that the two individual flames resting inside the both of you, altering to the passion of your dreams suddenly crushed by shards of your hearts breaking into pieces, every fragment flowing through your veins. 

Earn so the day came where Itoshi Sae has challenged Rin on a one on one fight. Seeing Rin get shattered was almost the least of your concerns; you never really cared. All you cared about was that Sae was still there, there was still hope. You can convince him, you can do it. You swear, if you could try– you could. Right?

The best brother in the world, whom you two was so proud of could change so much in such little time? Who would've thought that he, one day would abandon the two of you just for that.. stupid sport. But is it really so.. stupid? 

"If I win, our dream is over". ,

sure, for you, there was fate– there was hope. But for Rin? It ruined him, the walls he has built was destroyed, only to rise back up higher. How could his big brother say something like that– his dream, THEIR dream.

He might gotten step on all over that day, crushed to the very last bone, guts and heart wrenching— but he gets back up. He will always get back up; his dreams over? No. He will never allow that. For Sae, maybe it is. Then keep on living with that lie, Rin thought to himself.

From that day on, he VOWS that he will make that dream come true. He will become the best striker, he will be acknowledged by his brother, he will make his brother regret their decision, he will become the best striker in the world.

—

You knew. You knew that this would happen, you knew that he would need to eventually leave, to eventually leave you and Rin. But despite all of that, you chose to believe. You chose to believe that he wouldn't abandon you and Rin, he isn't that type of person, no; how could he do something so harsh like that? He isn't that type of person, you know him, he's your brother– you.. you just know it! But no, he still did leave. And, you know, you tried to think positively. Maybe he wasn't selfish, he's doing this to provide for mom and dad– maybe you and Rins studies aswell.  "You're just an eyesore of an annoying little sister." 

 "you're not worth anything at

"You're not necessary in my life anymore"

"You're not necessary in my life anymore"

"You're not necessary in my life anymore"

Y̦̲̣ͭͪ̽̈̏͋̋̎͡O̸̰̼̽͂Ư̪̲̼̂̐̎͆́ͭ̈͞R̘E̙̯̖ͬ̊_̨͚͙̥͈̼̦̘ͤ͐ͫ̇ͯ͋ͬ̿̋̋ͧ͢͠ͅ_̛̘̯̘͕͔̥̂͐͐ͥ̃̓̿̎͜͠ N̡̧̢͉̪̤͖͔̠͖̳̳̙͍̺͎͎̅͊̌̿͛ͧͩ̋͒ͬ̈̎̅̇́̿̊O̸̵̞͈̖̦̞͔̰̹̮̭͎̿ͦ̔̉ͪ̅̄̅̈́̌̔ͧ̊̃̆̇́̕͢͡T̵̷̘̠͓͇͓̝̯͕͚̜͈͋͛̉̌̓̐̃ͭ̈́̈́ Ņ̷̴̵̵̙͙͉̤̣̟͍̙̜̻͓͊̇ͣͧͭ͆̀ͮͮͤ́ͪͦͣͥͅE̴̼̗̞̤̘͎̫ͧͨ́̊̀͌͠͝C̷̺͎̗̪̱̜̜̩̬̀̔͛͛̿_̨͚̳͇̼͓̪͓̉ͫ͐̾ͤ̄̚̚̚͘͠͝͞E̷̢̨͎̩͎̳̪̠̝̝̖̭̣ͤ͗̑̇̈̑̔̈̇ͩͥͫ̑̃́̊̂̃̑͊ͫ̑̆ͤ̚͢͠͞͞͝S̯͊S̴̸͇̪̹̘̞̱̉́̆Ȧ̷̴̼̪̖̗͎̝̜͒̀̊ͫ̈ͮ̎͐ͣ͝R͑_̷͎̝͓͈͇̪̱̫͑ͮ͌̇ͤ̾̌̀̽ͦ͌̃ͪͣ͌͜Y̝̍_͍̓̈ I̵̢̨̯̝͙̦͕͈͎̲͊ͥͬ̎̌̇ͪ̒̄̇ͬ̚͜͢͠ͅN̰̭̂̿̾ͤ͐̄̿͘͠ M̡̖͖͍̙͇͉̀̎́̃ͨ̇̾͞_̛̞ͦ͛_̛̛͍̘̏Y̮̓̑̓̎͐̀ L̵̢̻̝̘̼̲̭̯̻̟͎̽̃̔ͩ͑̈̓̕̕͜͞͠I͉͔̩̗̳̗̺̬̜͕̟̺͔͗ͭͣ͘͟͢͝͠Ḟ̧̼̠͈̹̣͙ͮ͂͐͑͟Ẻ͙ͣͦ͛̒ Ḁ̵̸̧̩͓̗̭̘̝̜̞͈̗̗̩̹̭̝͑̋͂ͥͣ̓̓̑̎ͪ̈́ͨͦ̿͌̕͜͡Ň̢͉̭̭̣̜͉̻͚̰̗̜̠ͪͪ̈́͑̓̇͗ͬͦ̿͂̕̚̕Ý̸̸̨̡̨̗̞͎̳̺̦͖͙̰͓͚̘̩̳ͫ͛̍̆̾ͮ͑͛͗́̇̆́ͣͦ̍͊̓ͦ̚̚̕͘͜͠_͜M̷̵̛̛͎̫̬̝̼̙̦̼̠̲̺̦͊̇̀̒ͦ̄͒̆̔͌ͮ̀̇ͮ̋́́̒̆̚͘͢͞O̵̶̷̢͖̱̱ͫͮͨ̋̒͛͘͞R͇͇̝̙̝ͩ͊̐̚͞͞_̵͚̦̹̯̖͓̪̩͈́ͫͥ͊Ê̵̢͈̠͖̖̂ͫ͆

───────

Was what kept playing inside your head right after those thoughts. He's selfish, Sae would never do that. He would never do that for the sake of us, no.. he did this for himself, he did this because of his own wants, he doesn't give a fuck about us, we aren't shit to him. To him, we're just distant blood related relatives. The moment he stepped away, was the moment you woke up to the slumber that you have placed yourself into, the delusions you knew that were not true. —

" Hello Itoshi [name] ! How does it feel being interviewed when usually you're the one interviewing people? "

"I feel slightly nervous, I'm not used to getting interviewed like this" you said with a nervous laugh. " How does it feel that your project, blue lock has skyrocketed and gained popularity worldwide? "

"I'm thankful for the support we've been getting, specially for the staff since they're doing such a great job." you said, the same bright smile you have since the old days not changing.

"Lastly, how did you come up with the idea of blue lock? Bonus— an anonymous question, How does it feel like being Itoshi Sae's sister?"

As if lost in thought, you paused for a moment. "I feel nothing as Itoshi Sae's sister. To me, he is nothing but a distant blood relative." you said, tone harshening up. "As for blue lock, " your tone softened.

" I came up with it to find an individual who can overshadow the overhyped Itoshi Sae. " end of part two , previous part !

note . this may seem slightly rushed because I've been writing the same stuff over and over again. My tumblr has been glitching and it keeps on deleting 4 paragraphs worth of my work. sighh, also, I'm going to be inactive for awhile ): but! I'll try to update consistently. ⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎

where I took inspo from ,

bonus panel, they're so cute I'm gonna explode.

taglist ! @chaesdxll , @kimura-uzuri , @randomhumans-blog , @selmabckl , @is2sae , @simpbigtime , @imshittingforyelana , @tsumu-senpai , @sarahforever

[403tarot]

Hey duckie, could you do Wonbin (Riize) as a boyfriend and his ideal type, please?

hi dear, i'll do wonbin's ideal type in another opportunity, okay? let's go with him as bf ☺️

남침 원빈 ㅡ wonbin as boyfriend 🔸

how he is:

wonbin is very affectionate when he's in love, the kind who even gets a bit silly and smiles at the walls when no one is looking. for him, love is expressed in small gestures, like intertwining fingers, a passionate gaze, a gentle kiss on the forehead... he prefers to show he cares through acts of service and his sweet and loving personality.

wonbin is the type of boyfriend who bends over backward just to find time to talk to his beloved, even if it's just for a few minutes. he calls, asks about your day, makes you laugh, subtly expresses that he misses you... all the while playing with his hair and pacing around the room, trying to dispel the nervousness that arises whenever he's talking to someone he cares about so much.

he is someone who fights to make the relationship work. differences in opinions? that's okay; he'll try to have a calm conversation and understand the other side. did something he said upset you? he'll make sure not to repeat what hurt you and apologize for it. in general, wonbin doesn't give up easily because he doesn't allow himself to enter into a relationship with just anyone. if he has reached this level of commitment with someone, it's because he believes it's worth the effort and seeks the same commitment from the other party involved. people who create drama, hinder communication, or invent reasons to create chaos are quickly dismissed by him.

what he seeks:

he is looking for someone willing to commit to a serious relationship with him and to have a structured connection. i think it's clear by now that wonbin is a methodical guy, so fragile relationships and volatile individuals are a big NO for him. wonbin seeks someone willing to reciprocate efforts on the same terms, someone mature who doesn't let external factors unnecessarily affect the relationship.

he's mischievous, eager to touch your face, kiss your lips, run his hands over your body... he wants someone who loves him passionately, who's on the same page, and isn't afraid of the consequences of that.

what makes a good relationship for him:

he aims to be the one who resolves problems on the spot so that in the future, they won't become the subject of discussions again. he detests when past issues are brought back to the table to be used as arguments. wonbin wants someone willing to go through life's various transformations with him without much hassle, someone with whom he can build loyalty and a healthy relationship, based not only on love but also on friendship and complicity.

i haven't done many readings for wonbin, but from the few i've done, i noticed that he is very focused on giving his best in various areas of his life, and his approach to love shouldn't be any different. it's been a few months since i read for wonbin for the first time, and now i feel that even in a short period, a lot about him has changed. i sense him as more mature and confident now, which is definitely surprising and has shown very positive reflections in this reading.

[holybasementdweller]

wanted to add my two cents because shipping discourse is just all over recently. Forgive me rambling a bit here. I have a lot of thoughts on this topic and would like to get them out there in some form.

Stop harassing CC's about their boundaries.

Would you go up to a random person whom you've never met before in your life, who has never met you either, and likely has no idea who you are, purely to ask them if you can draw/write/ship them with one of their co-workers?

No! It's a wildly uncomfortable question to a lot of people, it puts them on the spot, and some CC's may not care as long as they never see it. Now that the concept has been shoved in their face, they're forced to view the idea.

I feel like a large part of the issue is the divide between younger, newer fandom members and older, traditional ones. Primarily the concept that fan content is not intended for CCs, but for fans specifically. Most 'traditional' and older fandom participants follow this view because that's what fandom is. You get to make cool things, and ramble about different head cannons and ideas with your friends and maybe find other fans who become your friends along the way. Maybe you want to throw these characters you really like into this elaborate superhero AU, or draw them in costume, or explore relationship dynamics because it's fun and you get to ramble with fellow fans. It's called a fandom for a reason!

I'd like to clarify here that this post is not meant to target anyone in particular; it's going off a general trend I've noticed.

There's been an influx of people who create fan works or fanart that seems to be aimed more to gain clout or to be noticed by CCs. It's something they wanted to make, but is leaving the realm of "by fans, for fans," in a sense that it seems to have lost more of that "for fans." The work is then shoved at the CC more aggressively than if it was just for friends.

There's a reason that spaces like AO3 and Tumblr exist with such large fan communities- because the communities are meant for fans. It's all well and good when CC's decide to take a peek or participate in said fan spaces of their own volition. They're the ones making the choice to engage. It's NOT all well and good when someone, as a fan, is trying to make that choice FOR them by shoving fanworks at the CC begging for clarification on what is okay with them. You're not going to help anyone in that way. Fan spaces exist separately from the CC spaces for a reason. The CC is a person behind the screen who you don't know. The character or role they play in the series you watch? You might know just about everything there is to know about them!

If a CC has laid out a boundary that they aren't comfortable with X Y Z, then there's a really, really simple solution here. Don't show it to them.

Don't put it in main tags, don't tag them in the post, hell, block the CC so you know they won't be able to view something that makes them uncomfortable.

There's a lot of what comes across as almost puritanical virtue signaling I've seen lately, where people are talking about CC boundaries everywhere and trying to police fanwork. I will again refer you to the point above. The fanwork is not made for the CC. It is made for fans, and if it is something the CC isn't comfortable with, then don't go posting it where they might regularly look at things (such as main fanart/fanwork tags.)

Yes, there are CCs who are over here. Yes, they look through fan works. This app is primarily a fan-oriented space and it has tags that CC's (or anyone else!!) can block to avoid things they are uncomfortable with. Though at this point the few that are over here either were already gay dot com natives or have basically become one.

I may have gone a bit off my original topic but TL;DR:

KEEP FAN WORKS TO FAN SPACES, AND STOP HARASSING THE CC'S PLEASE. LET THEM EXIST IN PEACE.

[kitsunefox1108]

Can you write a Romantic Resident Evil one-shot about a Yandere Self-Aware Carlos Oliveira x Reader, please?

YANDERE SELF AWARE! CARLOS OLIVEIRA

Carlos is a very obsessive, caring and overprotective yandere.

And his attitude towards you will be just that.

The only problem is that he can't touch or interact with you in any way.

You are a player, and you are able to manage his life, but he cannot do this with you.

Only the realization of this leads him to despair.

But he continues to move forward, focusing on the plot and his mission.

If he finds a way to somehow contact you, he will definitely do it. Just imagine that you are playing as Jill and shooting with Nemesis, when suddenly instead of playing you have a window with Carlos pops up. This window cannot be closed, the guy is standing on a black background, and nothing can be seen except him.

He starts to communicate with you as a friend, but you are afraid of this.

However, over time, he explains everything to you, and you get closer.

That's when you can start to feel all of his yandere behavior.

The most dangerous thing in this case is to talk about your friends, that someone offended you, or about people with whom you would potentially like to start a relationship.

Oliveira is oh so jealous… And every time he hears this, he has a wild desire to kick someone's ass.

[grogusmum]

A Smutty Little Jack Daniels Imagine

I've tried to do a Jack "Whiskey" Daniels fic several times, and I just can't get beyond the idea phase...

Maybe I just can't find him, his voice, something unique I can bring to him... I don't know.

Here is one, still just in an imagine/idea phase, I have literally posted and taken down, and I just don't know if it's something... but chatting with @oonajaeadira , she reminded me who I write for and why, so decided to post it again. We write for ourselves but we share for community. I hope you enjoy.

Warning: poorly executed oral sex (f receiving) it's a pity really

Okay, Ginger pretty clearly lets us know that Jack is not the best lover. But generally speaking, as a fandom, we have decided that Jack is a far more generous and skilled lover than canon tells us . Maybe because it's Pedro (and we literally can not imagine it), or because he has such a sincere and tragic love for his high school sweetheart wife and their little baby whom he has lost... idk. So I was thinking, what if we allow the canon to stand?

Jack Facts:

Fact #1: Can't find your clit to save his life

Fact #2: No foreplay to speak of

Fact #3: He's just terrible, just really bad

Until he meets you...

maybe even at the very same Music Festival that he got swiped left at

You see him go up to Coachella Girl with all his corny swagger and get rejected

But look at him, that dimple, that pout, those jeans, did he say 'what's tinder'?? Adorable

She instead goes for the guy in the track suit jacket and ball cap, cute for sure, but a boy

So you decide chat up "Stetson"

After some flirting, you conclude he is incredibly corny and bit of a goofball, but there's an undeniable charm

You like him and take him back to where your staying

He really talks himself up

All "Ride a real cowboy" "have you calling my name as loud as you want" yada yada

You wonder if he's all talk

But he's a good kisser, a very good kisser, and him calling you "sugar" does something to you

Alas, when you get down to it, his head between your legs, broad shoulds keeping them open wide, he is enthusiastic but sadly incompetent

Every once in awhile he brushes your clit with his mustache or that gorgeous nose and it's a fleeting glimps of heaven but he completely misreads every moan and gasp and does more of what ever the hell his mouth is doing

It's bad if you want him to slow down he speeds up, more to the left he does to the right, no instinct

Finally, you pull him up with sigh

Oh my Gods, he is looking at you with puppy dog eyes. With all his big talk, you'd think the problem is that he is a selfish lover, but you can see he wants to please you

So you are kind and ask him about his experience

He can't tell you about the spy aspect of his experience, of course, but what he does tell you gives you the picture of a whole lot if one-off experiences

You ask if there has been anyone he's reslly gotten to know and experiment with

And his high-school sweet heart - love of his life - wife comes into the conversation

He doesn't say, but you can tell she was somehow taken from him, tgeres a bittersweet shine in his eyes

He admits they were each others first- shy and inexperienced and pretty straightforward in their lovemaking but enthusiastic

You nod and tell him if it were you in high school and he simply put his hand on your knee, you would have melted

He looks down with a crooked smile and then up at you with those hopeful big brown puppy eyes

"Okay," you say, "can you be a good listener, Jack?" He nods enthusiastically. "Get down there, cowboy, I think we can sort this whole thing out."

[alasse-earfalas]

Let’s clear some things up.

"omg you hate queer people!!" 

No, we don't. There's several queer people in the server and we've all gotten along just fine, in fact we've had some wonderful conversations discussing our different views. The reason we marketed our server as a “conservative Christian server” is because that’s primarily who we’re trying to find. Other people with different beliefs and ways of life are welcome to join so long as they’re respectful. 

"but you said you're anti-Pride!!"

Admittedly, this was due to a misunderstanding of what that term means to a lot of people. The "pride movement" and LGBT people are not the same thing to me. Clearly they are to a lot of people, so I understand the confusion. I used this terminology because I’ve seen others in the LGBT community make this distinction in terms, but I understand now that this distinction is not as widespread as I thought it was.

Allow me to clarify: When I say we "don't support the Pride movement", I'm talking specifically about the political movement that advocates for giving porn to young kids in school, putting them through medical procedures they are too young to consent to, and viciously attacking, harassing, and silencing anyone who brings up concerns about these things. Obviously this is not all of the LGBT community, nor would I ever insinuate that. But it is a very vocal and nasty subset of it, and it's a subset we want nothing to do with.

"queered into oblivion"

If it's wrong to straightwash queer characters (and I believe that it is), then it's wrong to queerwash straight characters. Many of the Links are canonically straight in the games, and all of them are portrayed as straight in LU (I don't have the time to go into all the evidence for this right now, but it's there if you look). If you want more queer representation in media—which is totally valid!—go make your own queer characters and give them an engaging story. I've seen it done and it's great! Queerwashing established characters is lazy, disrespectful, and just as offensive as straightwashing. So we're not allowing that in our server. 

"youre banning people just because they're queer!! I was banned and I didn't break any of the rules!" 

If we banned people just for being queer, we wouldn't have any queer people in the server, and I've already debunked that.

As for the second point: Yes, I have banned people wrongly and I apologize for that. This is largely thanks to a constant bombardment of malicious trolls, many of whom pretend to come to us with good intentions, only to wreak havoc once they're granted access to the server. So I am being a bit overzealous with the ban hammer at the moment because we've been burned too many times. It's hard to tell anymore who wants to have a civil discussion and who's just biding their time. If you feel you were banned wrongfully, please reach out to me in dms and we can discuss the matter.

Another quick point I want to make is that our current server rules are due for revision. Now that we've spent some time open to the public, we have a better understanding of what kinds of rules our server needs. So, yes, we're not going to be strictly sticking to our rules right now because we're in the process of tweaking them. I understand that’s frustrating but there’s only so much we can juggle at once. 

"the people in your server are so mean! You don't even talk about loz stuff!"

It's kinda hard to relax and nerd out with your buddies when raiders are lighting your house on fire. We've been burned and we're on edge. I won't ask for anyone in the server to be excused for bad behavior, but I will ask for patience. 

Part of the reason I'm bothering to write this whole thing out in the first place is so we can stop repeating ourselves on these points. Many of the trolls we've dealt with have started out "respectfully disagreeing" with us only to turn nasty and crude. So now whenever there's a disagreement, it puts everyone on edge. 

Before we opened this server up to the public it was just a private little place for me and some friends, and we all happened to share similar beliefs so it turned into a bit of an echo chamber. Please don’t take our old conversations as representative of the current people in the server. We did talk about LoZ stuff, and we still do, but we’ve also got two general chats and a place to discuss controversial topics. And, as I already mentioned, we’re a little preoccupied with the trolling situation. 

Now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, here’s a non-exhaustive sampling of what we’ve been dealing with over the past few days: 

typical troll spam: inappropriate images, death threats, etc.

sleeper trolls: people who come into the server pretending to be there in good faith in order to gain access to the server, and then wreaking havoc. Several of these have been… obnoxiously “Christian”, to the point where I was in the middle of typing up a “knock it off” message when they decided to oust themselves. 

false accusations and even outright lies from people on tumblr who’ve “checked out” the server and then left. Idk why people do this. We’ve been baselessly accused of antisemitism among other things. 

vicious asks about this issue sent to tumblr blogs who have no affiliation with our server. 

I’d like to point out here that for being such a “hateful” server, none of the mods (I can’t speak for the other people in the server obviously) have ever done any of this, to anyone, nor would we. I’ve spoken about people using their (real or perceived) victim status as a cudgel to beat others with, and this is a fine example of that. You wonder why we’re trying to make a safe space? Because this is what happens when we share what we believe. You claim we have “institutional power” or whatever and yet we can’t set up and advertise a freaking discord server without people going on a witch hunt. 

I have had a few people reach out to me in kindness, and I want to let those people know that it’s really meant a lot to me. I expected trolls and some lashback but the maliciousness has been something else. I’m sorry to anyone on tumblr who’s been attacked over this, I don’t know why people are going after blogs that have no affiliation with this server, it’s disgraceful and disgusting. 

Hopefully what I’ve written here clears up some of the misunderstandings. We appreciate anyone who’s willing to hear us out rather than jumping to conclusions. Take care everyone.

[wolfangst]

The Postal dude hates everyone equally!

Hello, all Postal fans, I'm with you! I love the "scissor running studio", I've played through all of their games, some several times. I attend almost all of Vince Desi's interviews and support his work, like many of you.

I wanted to write this post because I have been in the Postal community for quite a long time and have seen a lot of people, a lot of conflicts, one of which appeared literally "recently". Dude hates transgender people? The situation is funny - some person made a post in the style: “Your favorite character *insert sentence*”, where the Postal Dude was added with the inscription: “The Postal Dude is transphobic” - the developers, on behalf of the Twitter account, said that this was not:

Later, the next day, the developers released a post in which the Dude was introduced to us as a misanthrope - a person who hates everyone equally. Which was pretty obvious even without this, because people who play the Postal series of games could repeatedly hear this line from him: “I hate everyone equally” or something like that - this was obvious back in 2003.

So what could such an act on the part of the developers mean, what did they want to say by first “supporting” transgender people with their words, and then releasing this post as if they had renounced their words? This means that he hates everyone: whites, blacks, Jews, gays, lesbians, transgender people and other completely ordinary people who live their lives. Not because he hates anyone in particular, but because he hates all humanity - read the meaning of misanthropy on the Internet.

The dude is an asshole and you're ready for this conversation!

Please remember that the Postal Dude is a bad person. He is a terrorist who kills innocent people - going back to the first Postal, the original, he wanted to kill even children and he was not ashamed. He is not the kind of person who will support someone simply because of their oppression in society - he is deeply indifferent to the problems of modern society, such as: the oppression of black people, sexism towards women, unfair mistreatment towards LGBTQ+ people, etc.

He hates everyone, regardless of lifestyle, sexual orientation or anything else - deal with it, he is not a good guy, but a sick person with a thirst for blood. Postal is the wrong game, Dude is the wrong character - and that's the whole point of the franchise we love so much. The game makes fun of a lot of things, it was made based on a real-life case of terrorism by a postal worker and the proposed idea of ​​creating a "just a cruel person who kills for no reason" appealed to Vince Desi - that's why we have a person as cruel and controversial as the Dude in game. Let's remember that in addition to the fact that the Dude has repeatedly expressed in his remarks that it is best to kill women and national minorities first, he also kills men, women, kids and animals without a twinge of conscience - and can even kick his beloved dog. We are talking about a character about whom the developers themselves speak as someone who is a terrible person at his core - so why do many of us try to humanize him, to find something good in him, some advantages or support for others?

Have you forgotten that in the Postal 2 before the update with multiplayer, there was a mini-game called: “F*ag Hunter”, the essence of which was that the Dude needed to kill 20 LGBTQ+ Representatives, and if he killed a heterosexual NPC, then he was forced go through again?

We are all people, we are all different. There are many different people within our community: gays, lesbians, transgender people, people of different nationalities and views on life - and this is wonderful. It’s wonderful that we are all so different and live in a world where we can be ourselves. But please remember that the Dude would hate us no matter who we are, simply because we are part of a society he despises - and you have to live with that. Yes, this is bad, it’s very offensive, but you are part of a game community where the main character is a terrorist who uses hard drugs and dismembers kittens.

If you want to feel support and love in your direction, then Paradise is definitely not for you. And don't try to argue with it - the Dude can't be fixed. Thank you for your attention, I love and respect everyone - after all, I’m not the Dude from Postal!

I also want to add that you can have any headcanons, ship the Dude with your characters or create your own Dudes - this is very cool. This post was written as an appeal to people who forget about which game community they are in - there was a lot of negativity on Twitter under sub-posts from the developers simply because such a misunderstanding arose, which seemed to me simply stupid and to some extent funny. This is the internet guys, do what you want, just please don't romanticize or think the things The Dude does are normal or laudable

[wisdomseeker02]

Masterlist; tip me

How to travel to your dream destination? 💐

Please REBLOG, so this message can reach more people, and my effort not to have been for nothing. Thank you! 💕

Group 1, Group 2, Group 3

Group 4, Group 5

Group 1 🌸: Your intelligence can help you travel to your dream destination. Your ability to talk people into what you want them to do will help you. Your action-taking will help you, as well. You need to grab life into your hands, and mold it the way you want through your actions. You need to take active action towards traveling to your dream destination. You need to take responsibility, and not wait for the right moment or something like that. You need to express your desire to go there to people, that are going to be helpful to get you there. You need to be aware of the opportunities around you, that can help you get there. You need to pay attention for such opportunities. You need to have a happy and excited attitude, when it comes to this dream. You better not indulge in many fears about not being able to fulfill it or something. You need to understand that how this dream will fulfill for you might be a mystery at the moment, but that's okay. Because I feel like right now you're in the starting point of fulfilling this dream. And I feel like it will definitely come true for you some day. :)

Group 2 🌸: You really need to feel this dream of yours, you need to feel the emotions, that thinking about going to your destination brings you. For some of you some kind of authority figure might help you fulfill your dream, like a father or something like that. But you need to be really structured in your attempts to get to your destination, you need to do things step by step. You need to be really passionate about going there, and you need to be in touch with this passion. But at the same time, you shouldn't be so emotionally attached to your dream, you shouldn't get so disappointed and sad if something doesn't work out. You need to rise above your negative emotions, and know that there's a real possibility for you to fulfill your dream.

Group 3 🌸: You need to find a direction for yourself, one direction, that you're going to follow, and that's going to bring you to your dream. You need to head towards your dream with another person, with whom you're going to travel to your dream destination. Of course, it might be more than one person. You also need to let go of your attachment to your dream, you shouldn't overly obsess over it, or try to force it by taking action when it doesn't feel right, as this might push it away. You shouldn't go for your dream from a sense of need or lack. You need to really be happy in your life as it is, and not wait for the fulfillment of your dream in order to be happy.

Group 4 🌸: You need to work hard in order to fulfill this dream. You need to work hard with a group of people, and you need to have good teamwork with them. You need to heal some limiting beliefs, that hold you back from traveling to your dream destination. You need to learn to communicate effectively with others. You need to learn to choose a certain direction in which to put your energy, and work in that direction. Good communication with others seems to be really important here.

Group 5 🌸: Let go, be at peace, and just live your life. Do what you love, and what you're passionate about. For some, a lover of yours will get you to your dream destination. You need to somehow influence somebody or some people to get you to your dream destination. You need to also heal some limiting beliefs of yours, that stop you from traveling to your dream destination.

Thank you for reading! What is your dream destination? Mine is Japan. ☺️

[aninkwellofnectar]

Author Questionnaire Tag Game

Tagged by @tryingtimi and figured I'd give this gauntlet a go, lol.

About Me

When did you start writing?

Very, very young. I'd say about 6. I used to get on the computer and type out storylines similar to the animated movies I was watching (some mixture of Disney stuff lol) so they were kind of fairytale-oriented then I later moved into Neopets territory and then outright fanfic. I started writing seriously in my late teens to early 20s. Before that it was exclusively something I did for fun.

Are there genres/themes you enjoy reading different to the ones you write?

I used to read a lot of contemporary fiction though I've started reading a lot more fantasy in order to write it better. But my background in reading is very heavily oriented towards contemporary fiction and classics. It's weird now because I find I can't... get into contemp as much anymore. Part of that might be to do with how much I feel alienated and disenchanted with the real world, idk. Indie has gotten me into more things I otherwise wouldn't have touched like romance and horror (the latter I'm not opposed to on principle it's just not something I would pick up on its own) and I'm grateful for the expansion.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

Before I read Patricia McKillip I would say no but she absolutely has what I want in one package. I admire her greatly. I wouldn't say I've ever been compared to an author but I'm open to comparisons if anyone has any.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space?

I do a lot of my writing at my desk with my desktop or on my laptop in my bed. I also write on my phone (blasphemy) but I suppose my desk is my "writing space" as it were and it's very cluttered ever since I start publishing with an array of stuff I use to run a business out of my bedroom.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Reading excerpts of books that have inspired me or re-watching scenes on Youtube of dialogue and characterisation that strikes the mood I want to bring to my own scenes. I find this helps overcome the "empathy gap" because I'm not a very emotive person. I'm very rational and what some people call "repressed".

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I suppose the family dynamics I write but I never really considered it until other people started talking about it in terms of "oh, it'd be nice if some families weren't dysfunctional" to me it's the normal families that are weird, even growing up with my childhood friends it was very abnormal for anyone to have like a stable two-parent dynamic. Perhaps this is just a class/background kind of thing but I write what feels emotionally true and familiar to me.

Are there any recurring themes of your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Self vs society, power vs love, escaping the constraints of a toxic community to seek liberation. And it's not really a surprise why that would crop up continually because it relates to things that I've continually had to grapple with in my own life.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favourite character?

Laila Rose. She's the protagonist of my fantasy series and I love her to pieces. We've been through a lot together and even when I eventually stop writing her I will probably always love her the best and the most and want to continue her journey. Working up the courage to say goodbye to her has been immensely difficult, more than I anticipated. It's like trying to part ways with my soulmate. I feel like I've spoken at length on why I love her and I don't really want to repeat myself so please read The Essence of the Equinox and I hope you'll come to love her too.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

I'd definitely befriend Lyra, she'd be a riot honestly. Laila I'd be too intimidated by in real life to even think of approaching. Maybe I'd befriend Sabina as well, I could fix her, but not many of the others.

Which of your characters would you dislike most if you met them?

Dominus. He's pretty much like... everything I hate rolled into one package.

Tell me more about the process of coming up with your characters.

I often get inspired by favourites in media and I pluck pieces of them and fit them together like a little puzzle until it becomes one definable template and then I sort of keep expanding that puzzle piece by adding little bits here and there. Dialogue, voice, ways of moving and emoting, until they become real to me.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

A lot of them are not very "likeable" people. They're not underdogs. They're not bastions of purity and goodness. They fuck up a lot. They hurt people, even and including those they love, they can have unchecked bigotry, they lie and cheat and scheme. But they're all very real and human in a way that, again, feels true to me. For me a character is defined more by their flaws than by their virtues.

How do you picture your characters?

Some are more vivid than others but once I get a face claim something clicks in my mind and it's like I'm seeing them even clearer than before.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

It's just a part of me. It's like asking me why I eat or sleep. It's a compulsion and it makes me feel useful, accomplished, grounded. The fact that all of my current friendships stem from me writing doesn't feel like a coincidence because it connects me to the world in a way I wouldn't bother indulging if I didn't write.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

I don't get many comments from readers but my closest friends reached that level by showing that they spent a lot of time truly thinking and dissecting and ruminating on what I write and why I choose to write it that way. When I get a lengthy comment from them showing that they've truly turned something over in their head or pointed out themes or little hints I've tried to pepper through... it makes me feel seen and appreciated.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?

I want to be seen as talented, of course, I want to be seen as someone who is skilled in my craft and meticulous with detail. I want to be seen as an accomplished wordsmith. And I work very hard to try and attain that standard for myself.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think it's being very visually-oriented. I really feel like I can paint a scene with my words in a small amount of them, especially when I discover that right combination.

What have you been frequently told by others is your greatest strength as a writer?

People have said it's crafting immersive imagery, whether that's with food or settings or even when it comes to eroticism and sex. I'm very sensory-driven as a writer and I want to really transport you somewhere else when you read.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I think that I'm good but that I can be much better and that's always the mindset that I carry into my work. I internalise criticism a lot although I'm also very good at pushing back against it if I don't fully agree but whenever I sit down to write something I always think "how can I make this much better than the last piece I've written" and I do think I've accomplished that.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes, because honestly my writing isn't nearly so dependent on external validation as I thought it was. I used to think the thing I wanted most to be read and adored and while I do long for recognition it's more about being awarded for merit and being acclaimed for hard work, talent, and vision. I do sometimes get sad when people don't love my work and I took it quite hard when I first published When the Stars Alight, I will admit that. But I've found that I've come to terms with being constantly at odds with the world, having less popular tastes and interests and viewpoints, and I feel like my writing is just an extension of that. So rejection was not only to be expected but accepted. I myself will still always love my stories deeply and think that they're great stories worth being shared with the world regardless of what anyone else thinks.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Before I published? Absolutely not. But as a businesswoman I have to be a bit more shrewd. I never write entirely to market tastes because it'll stifle my authentic voice and I don't really think I could do a paint-by-numbers job without my lack of passion showing. But I do weigh up a lot of my ideas based on what I've seen work commercially a lot more than I did before going indie. At the end of the day I'm a pragmatic creature who will do what needs to be done.

tagging: @laufire @words-after-midnight @pinespittinink @ladyniniane @rose-bookblood @i-m-p-a-v-i-d-u-s @sometimesraven @jazmine-here @zmwrites

[hells-sirenqueen]

roleplayer name: Xixi

roleplayer pronouns: She/Her

muse name(s): @hells-sirenqueen:

Hazbin Lilith -Lilith Morningstar (og/ show canon) -Albedo as alt fc -Sinner Snake Queen Lilith ( Unholy Crusade verse) -Queen Lilith Aradat Demonica (Dark Lilith - Failed Cycle Lilith/ Vampire UC Verse) ------ @baphomet-slumber-queen Belphegor - fc Gaap (Umineko)

-Frequent side muse Bethany ( paralysis demon) - fc Demon form Catherine. --- @cannibalxroses Overlord Rosie (Hartfelt. Married in UC verse to @/radioiaci and has taken his last name.) ----- @fxiled-fxithful Angela Blanc/ Ash Landers -Versed in Black Butler / Obey Me! / Hellverse -Primary focus is the Unholy Crusade Event/Verse & Aus associated

--------- @forgottenxsoldier Marie Hellverse OC (Former) Exorcist Angel

preferred communication: Honestly? Discord. I jump from one blog to another frequently depending on the muse I am feeling. So discord is the way to go. If you would like my discord and we are mutuals, please feel free to ask for it.

experience: Oh boy. So far as writing online, I've been rping since 2012. Started on Facebook, then slowly moved onto here and then to Twitter and then discord. Lately I've been mostly on here and discord though.

preferred roleplay type: I'm a hopeless romantic. I mean, I draft poems and romantic shit all the time. There is a writing partner of mine, whom I have a server with. We leave each other IC poetry for our characters and honestly it gives me life. I actually wrote a fic with them this past summer with our characters leaving love letters for one another. It was super sweet. (It was for Lucian x Shauntal. You can find it here if you're interested in reading it. I wrote for Shauntal.) But I am usually found writing some sort of angst or flirty/romantic scene. I'm..not the best at fight scenes, but with the UC verse, I've had to step out of that comfort zone a lot. It can get OP and Godmodding very quickly. I honestly hate it. There are some exceptions though. Like, if I am actively talking to my writing partner about the fight and what would seem fair, I'm down with the fight. Overall though? I just really don't see much appeal to being aggressive in writing.

pet peeves & dealbreakers:Lack of communication between replies for threads. If there isn't an ideal goal or direction that a thread is meant to steer towards or enough ooc conversation to keep all parties involved for the thread, things can get messy or even cause a bit of a writer's block for other parties involved. I know I offer to change my replies often if it doesn't work out well for my partner, but I'm well aware that there are writers out there who won't. Just keeping an open mind and open line of communication out of character goes a long way. It irks me when I have to deal with those who aren't. Thankfully I haven't had to deal with that in this RPC, but I have had to deal with it before.

best time to write: Late in the evening. Usually around 9-11pm EST. I'm usually mobile but if I have a thread that is important enough to be concerned about, I will relocate to my laptop if needs be.

are you like your muse?: I'd like to think I see a little bit of myself in each of my muses.

I'm always prejudged without anyone getting a chance to know me like Lilith, I have a terrible love/hate relationship with sleep like Belphie and I can be snarky like Bethany. I do love to gossip like Rosie and I have a bestie I talk to every so often to share the tea with. ( Lookin' at you @alteregozowie) I can be a devout friend like Angela and at times, I tend to have a similar temper that Ash has. But most of the time I feel like Marie. A clueless person who has no idea what the hell is going on and feeling like an absolute airhead 85% of the time.

Tagged by : @hells-greatestdad

Tagging: @mages-pandoras-box, @radioiaci, @radi0activesmile, @primordialruin, @sirserpentine, and anyone else who wants to

[citadelofmythoughts]

Ran into some shipping discourse recently and need to cleanse my pallet.

What’re your top 5 (if you have that many) RWBY ships and what do you love/like about them?

This is an open question to anyone who wants a chance to gush about their favs cause that’s what I need right now. Optimism, excitement, and seeing people “fan-person” about loving love.

Just to be fair, here’s mine!

1. Bumbleby: I love literally everything about them both as a couple and as individuals!

2. Nuts-and-Dolts: They’re two absolute optimistic sweet hearts who’ve had one of the truest connections I’ve ever seen. Just like the BYs, I love literally their entire characters with my entire heart and soul!

3. Icebyrd/Schneewoodforest: Completely fair that they haven’t had any interactions yet, but I absolutely believe that the potential and reason for them to get close is there.

Having the true, open, understanding, confident, and sexy as hell Robyn Hill help the cold, closed, troubled, confused, and also sexy as hell Winter Schnee is an incredible match for me. Robyn would love all of the positive traits that Winter has hidden away and would probably think that she’d be a great fit for the HHs; while Winter would love Robyn’s selfless personality and the fact that she can be true to herself.

Plus, given that Robyn is Mantle’s most trusted person and Winter was Ironwood’s (whom the people of Atlas trusted) second in command it only makes sense for them to work together in Vacuo to help the refugees.

4. Arkos: They also had a true connection. It’s just a shame that Jaune only realized it in V3. Just like BY I truly believe that they were meant to be and will always be connected, which is why I just CAN’T ship Jaune with anyone else. (Despite my endless love of Weiss’s: “mature” 😏)

5. Ghira/Kali: Dunno if they have a ship name buried somewhere. But they have one of only two healthy married relationships in the show and they’re both such amazing people! I’m REALLY praying that they both show up in Vacuo so I get to see more of them and they get to meet their daughter’s true love!

Again, please no discourse. Only love and appreciation, please!

Bumbleby always and forever. Absolutely perfect, astounding, soulmates. It's been such a ride for those two with the lowest low and the highest high. I mean going from Blake WANTING Yang to hate her so she wouldn't come trying to find her and risk her life in the process and Yang being so devastatingly sad and trying to mask that sadness with anger but all the while she missed her so much. And then the most amazing high ever, baring their souls in the most beautiful way in a literal fairy tale moment.

Nuts-N-Dolts hits my tragic romance buttons. I can't imagine falling in love, believing they died only to get them back and losing them again. It's part of the reason I believe that we haven't seen the last of Penny.

Renora You start of watching RWBY and being certain that they are already a couple but then you get to V7-8 and realize that their communication sucks and they've been unintentionally hurting each other for ages. But when they talk about it, it doesn't immediately fix things but it does start the healing process and I hope they eventually make it work

Frostbyte is a recent ship of mine. It's a bit of a crack ship because on the surface Weiss and Penny don't seem to have a lot in common but then you think about it and realize that they're both victims of Atlas society and have been used as things rather than people.

Ghira/Kali - look it's impossible not to love the best parents on Remnant and it's nice to have a shining example of mature love and it's so obvious that they adore each other even after all this time. I agree that I hope they're in Vacuo because they are going to love Yang so much.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

He's Just a Herald and He's On Fire!

So, if there is one consistent theme with protagonists in Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar universe, it's that there is a STARTLING number of them who are misfits in their families, misunderstood, and a little anxious and melancholic about the whole thing. You'd think that this would get boring fast, but Lackey manages to mix up the details enough that they don't meld together in my head, and in point of fact, I have actual favorites. One of whom we are talking about today. That's what this post is for. Lan Chitward is one of my favorite herald protagonists. Let's talk Brightly Burning.

Hi, hello, welcome. If this is your first time on my blog, please be warned that this is A SPOILERIFIC ZONE. I will SPOIL THE CRAP OUT OF THIS BOOK. Consider yourself warned.

Y'all, I am a Shakespeare scholar, so if I ever post anything along the lines of "Tragedies suck and I hate them," please send help, I've been kidnapped. Your girl LOVES a good tragedy, and that's really what this book is: An Amazing Tragedy. But that's just the end for Herald Lavan Firestorm and his Companion Kalira.

At the beginning of this book, we meet Lavan "Lan" Chitward, ugly duckling son of a pair of extremely prosperous merchants who feels ignored, misunderstood, and transplanted from the place that made him happiest. Kiddo has zero desire to follow either of his parents into their trades, so when they hit their wits' ends, said parents send Lan to a merchant-run school so Lan can find himself a direction in life that he feels will suit him.

Lan's parents might not be able to empathize or communicate with their son, but they did try to set him up for success. They tried. They get a couple of points for that. Not a lot. But a couple.

Unfortunately for Lan, he gets to discover the downsides of private school firsthand when he is relentlessly and cruelly bullied by older students. Lan's anxiety and very real, rational fear of bodily and social harm get so bad that to save his life, his Firestarting Gift explodes out of his control. By the time the smoke clears, four boys are dead and Lan is being carted up to the palace to explain to Herald Pol what on earth had been happening in his school and how the fire started. Stress from being questioned makes Lan lose control again, but before he can start a second killer fire, Kalira chooses Lan. Handily, Kalira is the daughter of Pol's companion, Satiran, so Pol is aware from the jump that Lan is more than just Kalira's Choice: The two are lifebonded.

Go nuts, Ao3.

However, this is about when the members of the heraldic circle start looking at each other sideways and going, "oh no. Firestarting Gifts usually only pop up when we're going to need them..." So while Lan is getting tutored by Pol, Kalira, his new best friend Tuck, and Pol's daughter Eleanor, Karse is causing trouble at the border--like preparing to invade and burn all the heralds to death trouble. Karse is not your friend, and their sun priests tend to target heralds and healers, and the only thing worse than being killed by Karsite troops is being taken alive to be burned at the stake or--for healers--be forced to use your gift until you burn out and die. So: Bad Situation.

Ultimately, the command decision is made to send Lan to the front. Lan at this point is an emotionally unstable, half-trained at best trainee herald. The poor kid is getting yeeted into a situation he is absolutely unprepared to handle. Before he and Pol even MAKE it to the front, they're attacked by a scout group and Pol is blinded--put a pin in that, we're going to come back to it. So Lan gets to the front already traumatized and somewhat sans his trusted mentor. It's not good.

Ultimately, the title of this book comes back to haunt Lan and Kalira: they burn, too brightly. Kalira takes an arrow in battle to save Lan, and in his grief and rage, Lan unleashes his final strike, taking out the Karsite army, an entire pine forest, and even some of his own soldiers--firestorms are hard to aim. Lan is posthumously raised to full Herald rank, and losing their entire army puts Karse on the shelf. It's the very definition of a pyrrhic victory, however. Lan burned himself out at age sixteen. He was a half-trained child doing his level best, and he was put in a situation that he was objectively unready for. It's heartbreaking, it's tragic...it's WONDERFULLY done.

The entire time you're reading this book and falling in love with Lan and Kalira, you're thinking "they'll be alright, won't they? They have to be alright." But you have enough other beloved characters that you get to know well enough that you also get to mourn with them once Lan and Kalira are gone. You get pulled into this story and you just want to hug Lan and stick him somewhere safe. This is one of my favorite Valdemar books, no question.

This is where I want to just briefly come back to Herald Pol and the attack that costs him his sight. I have no objection about the context in which this occurs. Shit happens in war. It's tragic, it's traumatic, it COMPLETELY SUCKS, but there aren't any red flags in terms of how Pol is disabled. There is also a fairly realistic period in which Pol is trying to adjust to not having sight. He also can see through Satiran's eyes for short periods of time because magic, but since this comes with a cost in energy and magic and doesn't inherently negate the disability, we're still fine. It's an emergency stopgap measure, not a functional cure. So far, so fine.

Unfortunately, there are a couple of things I don't love about how Pol's blinding is handled. The first thing is a bit "your mileage may vary" rather than a genuinely harmful negative representation, but it threw up a faint red flag when I was reading, so I'm talking about it. Traumatic injuries are so described for a reason; people have very very valid feelings and reactions to being suddenly and violently disabled, and part of adjusting is having the time and space to work through those feelings. Now. Pol and Lan are literally in a war zone, they are indispensably important figures, so they can't just be sent home. There also kind of isn't time and space to deal with the emotions in a war zone. All of that is fair enough. It would suck to have to just swallow the feels and keep functioning, and that could even lead to some good narrative tension.

That's not what happens though.

I'll just give you the text from the book for this bit:

Some time during the ride to headquarters, Pol had made up his mind on several points; it had given him relief from the pain to work things logically through in that way. Losing his eyesight was not going to be a tragedy, and if Ilea could not Heal him, then he would simply accept that. The events of the evening only confirmed that belief. He worked through everything as logically as he could during the ride, and during that night and the day and night that followed, in his dreams he was able to employ a technique called directed dreaming to work through things emotionally. It wasn't easy; he exhausted himself all over again, weeping for what he had lost and raging against everyone involved, including himself. But it had to be done, and quickly, and dreams were the best and least harmful place to do so.

I'm not going to say that his experience as a Herald and soldier don't give this some credibility, and I'm not going to say that narrative compression isn't a thing that writers can and do use to get characters from emotional point a to point b, but this stretched my credibility just a skooch and made me go, "They're going to keep him blind, right?"

Reader, they healed him at the end of the book. Can we PLEASE let him live a full herald life while blind??? He was no less effective without his sight than with it, and A LITTLE PHYSICAL DISABILITY REP AMONG THE ACTIVE-DUTY HERALDS WOULD BE LOVELY. Plenty of them live with anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, or other mental health challenges, but heaven forbid a herald have a physical disability.

This is a pattern I'm noticing more and more in books. Soldiers and soldier-adjacent characters can experience mental illness and disability, but not physical. It's that really annoying mind-body split looming large, and I don't have a good solution for this other than letting active duty characters also have physical disabilities, rather than having them be cured, retired, or in roles that never require them to be in the field. And I do get that like...if you are physically disabled, your best bet is not to be in a fight, but that's not how LIFE works. Sometimes the fight comes to you, or your expertise is needed in the field. It happens. LET IT.

Other than my growing frustration with disability rep in military, military-adjacent, and martial-esque organizations in fiction, I love this book to little tiny pieces. It's a beautifully executed tragedy without being self-indulgent or unnecessarily maudlin.

[grey-sorcery]

Shadow work concept suggestions:

Why do you practice magic? Is your drive derived from your being? Is it superficial and aesthetic? Is it of curiosity or interest? Is it selfish? Is it to deal with oppression or injustice?

You are not immune to propaganda. What have you been influenced by, without necessarily noticing? How have your influences affected your interactions with, and views of, the world?

When you have had interactions with non-corporeal entities, how has your subconscious, mental illness, neurodivergency, state of mind, influences, and/or bias affected your interaction and interpretation there of?

When you have been hurt by another, what is the core influence for your initial reaction?

When you discipline yourself or talk down on yourself, who’s voice do you speak in?

When faced with cognitive dissonance or self-doubt, how often do you give in to the Dunning-Krueger Effect?

If/when you experience imposter syndrome, why are you the person that you are in that moment?

When confronted with new information, how do you react? What is the core of the reaction you have?

Write down your morals and personal philosophy as succinctly and accurately as you can. Do your daily actions and words reflect those values?

What emotion makes you feel like your magic is strongest? Why is that emotion potent enough to cause that?

In moments when you have wished harm unto others, how have you justified such desire and how does that same line reasoning affect the way you engage with the rest of your life?

In moments when you have felt or been othered by a group of people, what is your initial reactive emotional state?

Contemplate the concept of infinity. The vastness of reality, both structurally and conceptually and your place within them.

How much of your persona is rooted in intertextualism? How does this affect the way you bond or engage with others? Does it effect how you interact with different age groups in a negative way?

When you categorize things, places, concepts, and people what criteria do you use? How does sorting this way affect your engagement with these various categorizations?

If you were to describe yourself without using your name, occupation, physical qualities, species, or interests what would it look like?

Is there any other way that you could practice magic and have it feel right? If you can think of some, how many are rooted in aesthetic and consumerism?

How can you, in your daily life, strive to ensure the health, growth, happiness and development of those around you? Even those whom you do not know.

What is your initial reaction to ignorance? What is the core of that reaction? How do you react to willful ignorance?

Would you stand up for someone downtrodden, oppressed, or attacked? Even if those around you would not? Would you want to? How can you become the person who does?

What does community look and feel like to you? Does your current community match your idealization of it? Is it possible for you to have an effect on the community?

When faced with the concept of death and mortality, what is your initial reaction? Does that reaction carry over to confronting its actuality? What are the roots of both reactions?

Remember, shadow work is not necessary for witchcraft. If doing shadow work is initially difficult for you to approach genuinely, I would recommend speaking to a licensed therapist. You can give your therapist talking points to explore with you in order to help you come to a better understanding. If you are struggling as a result of mental illness or you feel like you may be a danger to yourself or others, please reach out to someone to help you. There are programs that can help you, you may just need someone to look into it for you. Stay safe and stay grounded.

What other concept suggestions can you think of?

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