#please feel free to scream at me or trilo

[colibrie]

Can. Can you please do #11 with the Fang AU?

11. "Just keep breathing. In and out. You're doing great." (Minor warning for blood and injury).

Hamato Leonardo knew himself to be a turtle of many enviable talents. Out-of-this-world charisma, rugged good looks, hilarious, a tactical mind, and a resourceful field medic. The whole package. Except, he was not a scientist. He'd never had the patience or the attention span for fiddly formulas, obsessive note-taking, and tedious repetition needed for an experiment to be successful. As the team’s leader and face man, Leo thrived in the gray, mixing information and spontaneity, tweaking and twisting to ensure the outcome he wanted came to pass. Science was Donnie's world. His egg-headed twin thrived in black and white; relying on repetition, craved clearly defined variables, delighting in percentiles and predictability. That was what balanced them in the end, what made them tick as twins. Brainiac and face man, street smarts and book smarts, innovation and invention.

And maybe that was why he was struggling now, sitting hunched over his secret pile of medical books, scowling as he compared them to the ones April had brought from the library. Squinting at tiny, cramped print as his head pounded, forcing eyes crusted from lack of sleep to open to absorb the paragraphs detailing anatomy, herpetology, and epidemiology, alongside pictures that were various degrees of uselessness. This was Donnie’s world, and maybe he would have enjoyed this torment. Maybe, his twin could make sense of these "viral counts" and "impact percentiles ". Maybe, if his twin weren't strapped to the bed behind him, delirious and writhing in pain, they could have already fixed whatever this thing was.

"Shell," Leo groaned, throwing down his pencil as one hand rose to rub his tired eyes.

He was going to get crow's feet and fine lines from glaring at these useless books, things he could (loudly) tolerate if they were to result in a solution to whatever plaguing their purple brother. But they hadn’t so far. Days of effort, nights of burning well past the midnight oil, and all he had to show for his efforts was a splitting headache and a massive collection of unwashed tea mugs. None of Donnie's symptoms matched with anything detailed in the textbooks, or CDC and WHO websites. Given the creepy level of the lab they'd wreaked, it wasn’t truly that surprising, even if it was frustrating. There was, shockingly, not a lot of published research on mutants, let alone their illnesses or immune systems. But, illnesses didn't just come out of nowhere! He didn't need a fancy piece of paper or a Donnie-level IQ to know that. Whatever was ailing Donnie had to be documented somewhere. But he was a field medic for pizza's sake! He knew how to set bones, sew up cuts, and head off infections. Not cellular biology!

Throwing his hands up in defeat, he slouched back into his desk chair. Maybe Mikey was right. Maybe it was time to call in Draxum, much as Leo would rather eat a bucket of nails or light fire to all his limited-edition JJ comics than say it out loud. Mad scientist psycho or not, the Yokai understood a lot more than Leo did, in this one area anyway. And while they were at it, maybe they’d been looking at things all wrong. If a science-based solution wasn’t available, maybe a mystic solution could help? It would be the most delicious kind of irony, given Donnie’s historic skepticism of anything mystical or magical. Maybe their father could take a trip to the mystic library, or they could send one of the Casey’s to Witch Town. So long as they didn't drop Donnie's name in any conversations it would probably be...

A pained snarl cut through his thoughts, and he whirled the chair around to find Donnie bucking against his restraints, head thrown back in a terrible arc as he gasped for air.

"Whoa! Easy D!" Leo exclaimed, jumping out of his seat to reach for the oxygen mask and tank that April and Casey Jr had kindly "liberated" from April's school following the Krang invasion. "Just keep breathing Dontron, in and out."

His twin hissed in response, pants deepening to a guttural growl as Leo approached and attempted to press the mask over Donnie's nose and mouth.

"Come on man, you're doing great. This is going to help you do even better, so chill out a little and I'll-"

Faster than lightning Donnie struck, neck muscles stretched and strained as he ducked around the mask and sunk his teeth deep into the flesh of Leo's forearm.

"OW!" Leo yelled, the oxygen mask slipping from his fingers as they spasmed open in shock. "Dee, let go!"

Donatello snarled in reply, sharp teeth sinking and shredding as his jaws clamped down on Leo's limb.

"Get OFF!" Leo bellowed, jamming the thumb of his free hand into the pressure point just behind the soft shell’s jaw. It took way longer than it should have for Donatello’s teeth to release him, too many long, painful seconds before Leo could pull his arm away and stumble back a step from the bed, cradling his injured limb close. Torn flesh burned against the open air, pain licking out from fingertip to elbow while small crimson streams braided into rivers as they raced across his skin to follow gravity to the floor.

“What the shell?!” Leo snapped, free hand clamping down over the injury as he stumbled towards the cabinet that held their stock of bandages.

Donnie hissed again in reply, and Leo had to fight the urge to cringe away from the way his blood smeared across his brothers lips and chin, the way it painted his sharp teeth when said lips peeled back in a snarl. Dark eyes followed every jerky move as he fumbled with trying to disinfect and wrap the wound with one hand, breaths hitching as the pain in his arm built, creeping like the most agonizing ivy towards his shoulder. Slitted predator pupils zeroed in one the…wait…Donnie didn’t have slitted pupils. None of them did. Their eyes had always been human…

“What the…”

He didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence. Between one breath and the next the pain exploded, lancing up his neck and spearing deep into his chest. His jaw snapped shut around a cry as every nerve in his body seemed to simultaneously go up in flames, numb and useless legs folding like a house of cards as he hit the concrete floor of the med bay. He tried to break his fall, but his body failed to respond to any desperate command his brain tried to send. He tried to call for help, or maybe just scream, but his lungs couldn’t pull in the air he needed. He was trapped, a silently writhing vessel slowly filling up with pain.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.

They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.

-

“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”

Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever 

-

Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.

-

Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit

-

“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”

well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone

-

“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”

yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.

-

To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.

I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.

Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.

-

Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(

-

...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time. 

They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.

-

Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.

Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.

...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T

Oh well. At least they got something right.

-

it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys

-

I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs 

[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.

-

...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...

-

Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour. 

-

...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it. 

-

Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE

nice ankles, ms skye.

-

“Ema..?”

“Use some manners, we’re in court”

thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/

-

whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.

or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.

-

“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on 

-

haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.

-

pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?

-

y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.

-

has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.

-

i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......

-

“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”

anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.

-

oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?! 

and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this

-

“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”

they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder. 

OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.

-

every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.

-

alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.

Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.

-

“Wimperson”

ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.

...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!

-

seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.

-

“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”

“he said so”

THATS. NOT EVIDENCE. 

-

oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable 

(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)

-

seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case. 

i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3

-

um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.

-

“Don’t tell me!”

“Oh, but I will anyway.”

I love Apollo so, so much.

-

so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??

-

“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”

he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.

-

fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.

...but maybe........

-

what the fuck

Atishon has the same birthday as my dad

DISGUSTING

-

oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal

-

i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers

-

“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”

I'm wheezing

this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected

please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now

-

i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.

HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.

-

its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.

-

“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”

judgeyyyyyyyyy

im crying

-

ema: can i fuck off now

-

“lets get more info on the crystal”

FINALLY. thank you, athena.

-

NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT

PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.

-

“back in the old country”

...england..?

-

pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready

-

“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”

well thats a big fat lie because

A) Kurain village is build on mediums

B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler

we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.

-

“One Ives Shineto”

ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE  oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee

also whats that pun

-

FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT

-

“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”

i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.

-

i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.

-

“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”

No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?

I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.

-

i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.

that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out. 

...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.

Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?

-

Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!

i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.

-

Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.

>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.

Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA. 

Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you. 

-

“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”

All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!

-

wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.

-

theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL.  THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.

Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.

BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.

-

...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever

-

ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.

-

“Try me, o lord of plebs”

its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.

-

i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”

-

why the fuck did he 

fall asleep what

OOO THE JUDGE YELL 

AW YEA

-

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.

-

No.............

I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”

You know who uses phrases like that.

Assholes.

-

“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”

( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)

-

...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.

Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom 

-

Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.

-

“Better brace yourself, son”

Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.

-

“Worried this might make a rift between you two...

...and that you might then leave the agency”

haha

“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”

hahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

-

“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”

Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR

robot guy

-

i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.

-

hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...

-

HOLY SHIT MISSILES

SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??

-

hang on.

“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”

is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.

-

ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???

-

“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”

hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.

-

“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”

...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.

hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.

-

those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.

...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........

-

“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”

Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.

-

ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.

-

“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”

Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.

-

i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’

-

“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”

Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?

-

Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting. 

Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.

-

I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.

-

pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.

-

Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.

Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...

-

its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.

-

Huh. 

HUH.

So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?

:T

-

DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME

-

that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out

“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

-

actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.

-

S––

Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.

-

Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now

-

ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.

-

i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal

unless its

whitcrystal

hahah

hahahahahahahhaha

-

so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller. 

-

sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb

“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”

-

damn shit thats her face

thats uh

o

ohhhh

oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.

not bad, not bad at all.

i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed

-

“The issue is crystal clear”

*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*

-

dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.

-

oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.

-

Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.

Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!

[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”

???: Phoenix... Just give it up.

[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]

/...i wish.

-

legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling

this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen

-

“What’s gotten into him?”

bad writing.

-

sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI

-

(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!

-

y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.

-

noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck

i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.

-

it has rounded corners.

and its huge.

-

phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.

-

“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”

well........ not “many”

-

i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.

Thats. kinda terrifying.

...though considering the way Kurain is...

-

i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)

i never know whose objecting 

-

Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!

...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??

-

“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”

he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.

-

“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”

yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.

..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair

-

a 3D crimscene view

haven't seen that shit since AAAJ

-

‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”

sorry i just felt like being vulgar

-

“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”

holy shit

i love apollo

-

phoenix shut up please, just shut up

let it end

let me rest

-

oh wait

ah here we go.

-

“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”

hey, uh Enshiro

ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth

-

“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”

no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna

“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”

FUCK

YOU

DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!

HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU 

YOU

YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!

-

Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell. 

I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.

-

“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”

i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:

when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting

i mean

nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????

-

what the fuck is his deal with being king

-

OH SHUT UP DURKE 

GO FUCK YOURSELF

think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no

you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.

-

“he’s saved my neck so many times”

w

when

-

“where there’s a will, there’s a way”

how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?

-

“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”

aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.

-

...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND

anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen

-

OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID 

-

WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL

THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN 

GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG

-

“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”

um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????

you FUCKING MORONS

-

why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.

-

...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation 

-

YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY

END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI

-

“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”

wow

-

...what the fuck

well that was... interesting.

-

i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired

there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted 

-

yay we got the orb

dootdootdoot dootdootdoot

-

even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.

im right there with ya judgey

-

“All I can say is, thats my boy!”

NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID

HES NOT YOUR BOY

YOU BARELY RAISED HIM

GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP

-

“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”

if only you actually were, Apollo

-

yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.

“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy

-

i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”

its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger

pfffff

-

its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO 

-

"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”

uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway

-

christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig

-

see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.

-

and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.

till next time.

[colibrie]

Genesis: Decompression

WE'RE BACK! Our (slightly belated) gift this holiday season is a new synthesis update! As always, credit for art and sanity goes to the amazingly talented @trilobitepunch. If you haven't subbed to her yet, go do it! If you have, feel free to scream your thoughts at us! (seriously, you should see the paragraphs I write about all the ways I love Trilos art, and it deserves so much conversation and analysis).

"I am afraid it's not much," Karai warned as she pushed open the door, shooting a smile over her shoulder as she beckoned them to follow her in.

The house was indeed small, consisting of a central room from which two doors extended from the back wall. The right wall was taken up by a fireplace, before which sat a small round table with two chairs, beneath which a threadbare rug covered the floor. The other wall held cabinets and a workbench, the scarred surface heavy with multiple neatly organized projects.

"As you can imagine, I don't often entertain guests," Karai continued, snagging a piece of flint before heading towards the fireplace. "But it's warm, dry, and most importantly, it's safe. There's nothing here for the empire to exploit, so they do not bother with this planet beyond the occasional half-hearted patrol."

"It's great, Master. Really." Leo answered, barely daring to blink as he looked around.

"Yeah. It's a lot like our house back home!" Mikey added, words fizzing with so much bubbly joy that some idiotic part of Leo's brain wondered for a second if his effervescent baby brother could float away with it. "All it needs is a mural or two. I could totally paint one for you if you'd like!"

"That would be lovely Michaelangelo, thank you," Karai nodded, lighting the fire with a swift and decisive strike. "Now, given what I saw of your shuttle, I am willing to go out on a limb and say you two have been living mostly off of ration bars. Is that correct?"

"Yes, Master."

The words tripped instinctually off his tongue before Leo could question their purpose, or validity. After all, it wasn't as if the title held all that much weight now that there wasn't an order left to uphold it. It wasn't like it had particularly special meaning to him either. He hadn't bothered calling Splinter by his title in years and had zero plans to do so any time soon.

Yet he honestly couldn't picture not saying the honorific when Karai turned her smile on him. Not when the warmth that buzzed like bees in his chest felt just like it did when he'd been smaller, coming to her with every secret and insecurity that had harried him.

"I thought so. Michelangelo, there is a root cellar outside, around the corner to the right. Please go and fetch me three potatoes, an onion, and some ceebak root. Leonardo, please fetch water, and some meat from the smokehouse in the back."

It was easier than breathing to comply. Mikey scrambled towards the cellar, and Leo all but floated towards his tasks, hands moving on autopilot while his thoughts skipped and twirled like stones across a pond. Time stretched like one of Mikey's canvases. He blinked, and suddenly he was at the table, staring at an empty bowl while the fire shot sparks up the chimney and into the night. His stomach was pleasantly full, the last hints of something rich, warm, and earthy lingering on his tongue. Across the table Mikey was chattering a mile a minute, hands weaving and dancing with enthusiasm as he regaled Karai with stories of their training escapades.

"Goodness," Karai chuckled, grey eyes glinting as she raised her mug and took a sip. "Dangling off a sheer drop to train one's reflexes is certainly a... unique approach to training."

"Right? But Leo swore up and down that that's what you made him do at the temple!"

"Oh?"

Leo shrugged loosely as the attention turned to him.

"Eh, it was close enough."

"I almost went splat!" Mikey protested, though the laugh he was suppressing slightly ruined the attempt at indignation.

"But you didn't, didja? Ergo, you learned something, so, you know, you’re welcome."

"Oh yeah, Leon? How about I tell her about that one time you tried to..."

"Do it and I'll tell her about how you-"

"Alright, alright. Settle down you two," Karai cut in, amused but firm as she watched them make faces at each other. "There will be a time to fill me in on accounts of your adventures, but it's getting late and it’s time to rest. Tomorrow I will clean out the storage room for your use, but tonight I can only offer cushions and blankets in front of the fire."

"Pretty much anything sounds better than the shuttle back bench at this point," Mikey agreed, a yawn breaking free as the youngest leaned back and stretched his arms over his head.

The sight caught at the muscles of Leo's jaw, and he had to fight hard against the urge to follow suit. Limbs that had been light suddenly felt sluggishly heavy, spine curling as his neck burned with the effort of holding up his head. His body cried for sleep, but his mind recoiled from the very notion, stubbornly forcing his lids to part with every heavy blink. He couldn't face another night shadowboxing with his insomnia, endless hours trapped watching the shadows creep that much nearer while his thoughts turned on him. Perhaps worse, he didn't think he could face more dreams filled with his twins’ persistent calls. His stomach flipped, threatening to cramp as he glanced towards the door, mentally rummaging for an excuse that would pass both Master Karai and Mikey. Maybe a final tweak to the shuttle camouflage? A quick perimeter check? Yeah, that could work. Even if this planet was as secure as Master Karai said, a little extra caution couldn't hurt.

"-cushions are in the back of the storage room. You might have to dig for them."

"On it!"

"Thank you, Michelangelo."

"I'll clean up, then do a last sweep. You guys hit the hay," Leo volunteered as Mikey scurried away, pushing himself up before swiftly gathering the bowls and plates.

The night air was brisk as he ducked through the doorway and headed towards the well. The sky above was awash in start light, diamond-encrusted obsidian that softened the edges of reality with gilded silver and shadow. The darkness held out its arms to him, an old and tiresomely familiar friend happy to walk new paths.

He'd have answered it's welcome, if not for the appearance of a hand at his elbow.

"Where are you going, Leonardo?"

"Uh...to wash the dishes and check the shuttle? Like I just said."

"Ah, then I shall accompany you."

"No, Master you've done more than enough for us. It will only take me a few minutes max, so you should head in and-"

"I know it has been a long time, but I have not lost the ability to tell when you're lying, Leonardo."

"Huh? I'm not."

"Or, when you are avoiding something," Karai continued, staring him down with such knowing eyes that he had to look away and fight the urge to squirm.

"It’s nothing, really. I'm probably just a little paranoid after spending so much time traveling. I'll settle down after I take a walk."

"A walk that will "accidentally" lose track of time and end only once the sun has risen?" Karai asked pointedly, one eyebrow rising as thought silently daring him to deny it.

Damn...he had forgotten about that. He’d often snuck out of creche as a child to wander the halls of the temple on nights when his insomnia became insurmountable. He’d eventually be returned to either Karai or Splinter by irritated temple guardians, sheepishly offering the excuse of “losing track of time” to account for his ventures. It wasn’t something he’d expected her to call back to after all this time. He needed to change tactics, quickly.

"Heh, you've still got it, Master," he nodded, tilting his smile to be just the right mixture of boyishly sheepish and disarmingly charming. "Okay, how about this? I'll wash the dishes and go for a quick spin around the perimeter. Fifteen minutes, max. If I'm not back in that time, you can send Mikey after me. Kid is better than a stopwatch and has got a sixth sense, I swear."

"Hmmm...alright. You may wash the dishes," Karai nodded after a moment, stepping back.

"Number one dishes washer, at your service!"

He tossed her a casual salute, then set about scrubbing away every lingering scrap of food while his mind furiously worked on new solutions to the presented problem. He really should have considered that Master wouldn't fall for his first excuse. This wasn't Splinter he was dealing with after all. Karai paid attention. She was a pro of reading between the lines, a master of finding loopholes. Almost as good as Leo himself.

He'd have to do better. A lot better, to stay ahead of her. Fortunately, the situation wasn't yet impossible. He could give her the plates, take the fifteen minutes head start to scout the area for good places to chill unseen. He'd let Mikey bring him back, then sneak back out after the others went to bed. He'd have to be careful and ensure that he was back before they woke up, but so long as he appeared ready and was able to perform, it shouldn’t be too difficult to pull off.

Yes. That was a much better plan. All he had to do was keep his head and play it cool. Easy.

"Okay, that should be it," he called over his shoulder, stacking up the wet dishes and utensils before scooping them up and turning to face Master Karai.

"Here, could you-"

"Leave them there to dry, so we can have our walk."

"Our... walk?"

"Yes," Karai nodded, deft hands plucking the plates from Leo's grasp, setting them aside before returning to loop around his arm, "there is a small path around the garden that is perfect for a stroll."

"Oh, you don't need to-"

"Needs can come in different forms, Leonardo. Much like opportunities. One should never pass them by."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. You'll understand in time. Come, let's go this way."

"I-wha-hey! Master c’mon. I know we just got here, but I'm not a kid! I can handle going on a walk by myself."

"Of course, you can," Karai agreed, nodding as she steered him steadily to the distant silhouette of a garden. "You, by your brother's accounts, are a skilled pilot and a good teacher. You know how to navigate the marketplace, manage resources, and strike shrewd bargains. You kept yourself and your brother safe while you searched for me. By all accounts, you've become quite the accomplished young man Leonardo. I'm very proud of you."

"O-oh...I... uh..." Leo stammered, tripping over his tongue as his companion pulled him onto a dirt path that seemed to follow the perimeter of the garden beds. Even under the veil of the night the heady scent of the turned earth, compost, and something delicate, faintly like vanilla, perfumed the air. Every now and then, stiff stalks would brush against his side and shoulder, leaves of velvet and silk sliding across his cheek and shoulder in gentle caressing sweeps.

"Oh, what's this? Cat got your tongue?" Karai teased, skillfully pulling him around an invisible bend. "That's not like you. If memory serves, you've always been good at finding words to fit every occasion."

"I am! I mean...I just didn't...so if you mean that, why are you coming with me?" Leo spluttered, the exhausted coils of his mind flickering and struggling to grab back the reigns of control that he had, somehow, lost again. Frustration flared, hot and bitter on the back of his tongue, but he tried to quickly swallowed it back down.

"Do I need a reason?" Karai asked.

"Everyone has a reason."

He blurted out the words before he could fully process them, and every cell in his body burned to take them back. For her part, Master Karai did not seem particularly upset by his outburst, or by his words. Her only initial response was a considering hum as she turned them down another near-invisible route.

"Well, were we to use your logic, then I believe I've already made my reasons clear. I am proud of my dear sweet Blue, and I wish to spend time with the man you've grown up to be. Is that disagreeable to you?"

"No! No, you're right. I've missed you too Master," Leo quickly agreed, pulling her a little closer to his side in an improvised hug as something strange and uncomfortable rumbled in his chest, expanding and stretching until even his skin felt wrong. "Things have been so insane, I guess I am still trying to get my head around all of it."

"And yet, you've successfully adapted," Karai asserted, fingers squeezing his bicep in turn as she guided him under some kind of structure covered in vines. "You took in the situation, analyzed the variables, then formatted and executed a plan to obtain help."

For a while they stood in silence, only the crunch of muffled sounds of nature and the soft rustle of their clothes to indicate their presence within the garden. The air seemed to hold its breath as the tension around them slowly built towards a crescendo, filaments stretching taunt, poised to snap.

"...I didn't."

"Didn't what?"

"Do any of that. I didn't analyze anything. I didn't plan anything. We weren't looking for help, because I didn't think there was even a minute chance that you were still alive. I just said we were because of Mikey. He trusts me and I couldn't..."

"Couldn't what?” Karai prompted him after giving Leo a few more moments of quiet to chew on his words.

"I couldn't...face admitting to him how badly I'd screwed this up," Leo bit out, the syllables sour in his mouth as he pulled his arm out of Karai's grip.

"This... What is "this"? What's happened, Leonardo? What's driven you two away from the home Yoshi built for you?"

"He goes by Splinter now, not Yoshi," Leo obfuscated, and somehow, he could feel the look of disapproval she gave him in reply.

"Leonardo."

"Well, he does! Kinda a weird choice as far as an inconspicuous name goes, but hey I'm not the name police."

"Fine. What happened that drove you out of Splinters home with no plan or backup?" Karai pressed, undeterred.

"He... they... he lied to me... to us. He's still lying!”

"They? Who is-"

"I mean," Leo plowed on, throwing his hands up as he turned away and started to pace, "what kind of “father” does that, huh?! "So sorry for being an awful person and a fraud, but I still get to dictate how you react to the biggest possible bombshell being dropped on your life." Worst. Betrayal. Ever. Score zero. No applause."

"Leonardo, slow down-"

"Did you know he was going to take the Holocron away from Mikey? Kids got more natural talent in his pinky finger than half of the jedi in the temple combined, and he made him feel like crap about it! Like there was something wrong with him and his dreams! That's why we had to hide his training! That's why we were on that bloody moon instead of at the marketplace! That's why this all happened!"

"Why what happened?! Please, slow down and-"

"Donnie and Raph!" Leo yelled, voice raising to be heard over the sudden blast of wind that seemed to come out of nowhere, the plants in the bed to his left trembling in obscurity under its might. The weird thing was that the air didn't seem to be moving. Weirder still, his voice kept rising.

"He told us they were dead, Master! Killed in the purge, just like the rest! And we believed him, right up until those same "dead" brothers showed up in black armor and tried to kill us!"

"Donatello and Raphael are alive?!"

"YES!"

Something smashed behind him, ceramic sherds tinkling a shattered harmony as they hit the ground. Wood overhead groaned and creaked as if straining under a great weight.

"Leonardo, please, calm-"

"Calm down? Oh yeah, totally! Raph tried to smash Mikey into a paste, and my twin put me through a literal wall, but sure! I'm totally calm! See?!"

He tried to pull in a deep breath, but for some reason his lungs forced it back out, fast and sharp pants hitching his shoulder higher and higher. He tried to pause, but words kept pouring out his mouth, a flash flood of poorly connected sentences and thoughts that refused to be ordered or contained.

"He was so angry at me! He kept hurting me! And then... then we connected and it... he... he hurts, Master. He was hurt and scared, and it was so dark and cold, and he was alone! He was all alone and I promised him he’d never be! Then he saved me, and I promised him I'd find him! I promised! I can’t break another one!"

"You must-"

"We barely escaped in one piece. We barely got home. And then, and then," Leo seethed, vocal cords aching as he whirled around and stalked back towards Karai, hands balled into shaking fists, "he scolded us, tried to punish us! When I shoved the truth in his face, he spun us some woe-is-me sob story about how Donnie and Raph "died" during a sewer tunnel collapse and I was injured to justify running away. And to put the crappy cherry on top, he had the guts to order me to forget about them! Forget about my brothers!"

"Leo-"

"It was a load of garbage, just in case you were wondering. A great way for him to keep pretending he hasn't been a selfish coward all these years."

Wood snapped somewhere overhead, but he plowed on, a helpless buoy in the torrent pulling him along.

"I was never hurt, Donnie and Raph never died, and he has never cared about any of us! He probably just left them behind back then to save his sorry hide from the purge and now he's going to sacrifice them again! Well, I'm not! I won't! So what if it was stupid to leave without a plan?! So what if I'm in over my head?! I can't leave them in the dark Master! I can't, I can't! I-"

"LEONARDO, BREATHE!"

Karai's hands landed on his chest with the strength of a mallet striking a gong, staggering him. Something familiar; warm, and strong, stemmed the flash flood in his mind, loosening the bands that held his lungs from fully expanding. Instinctively he did as he was told, sucking in a deep gulp of air.

"No, don't gasp. Meditative breathing. Breathe in for four, hold for six, and out for eight. Let your thoughts follow each breath, let them settle like sand in still water. Like this."

He did his best to follow her example, his heart slowly stepping down from its punishing gallop as her hands held him steady.

"Very good," she murmured, one hand sliding up to press solidly against his pulse point. "Very good Leonardo."

"Please, Master...I can't..."

"No one here is asking you to."

The assurance nearly took him out at the knees, pitching him further forward into her grasp.

"What I am going to ask is a series of questions, and I need you to answer them honestly. Is that something you feel up to?"

"Yes, Master."

"Alright. The first question is, can you still feel Donatello?"

"No," Leo shook his head, "we only connected for a minute last time, and nothing since."

"Okay. During your travels, have you or Michelangelo encountered any other individuals in black armor? Even at a distance, or in passing?"

"No Master."

Her hands relaxed a little as she let out a sigh of relief.

"Very good. Now, the most important question. When was the last time you slept? And I mean, I truly slept, a full eight hours with no interruptions?"

He tried to look away, but her hand stopped him, firm pressure against his jaw turning him back to face her.

"Honesty, Leonardo. Please. How long?"

"I don't know...before we left home?"

"Oh, Blue."

"I tried! I swear I did, but I couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't close my eyes, because he's there, begging me to help them."

"It's no wonder... come."

Her tone permitted no argument, nor did her grip as it shifted once more to his arm. All Leo could do was put one foot in front of the other as Master Karai towed him away from the garden and back towards the warm, welcoming light of her home. Lights that steadily turned fuzzy around the edges, blending into messy, hazy halos as the adrenaline in his veins slowly dwindled, replaced by all too familiar numbness. He blinked, and suddenly they were inside, a familiar green blur bouncing towards them.

"Hey! Where'd you guys go? Is he okay?!"

"Ah, you've laid out the cushions. Wonderful job Michelangelo. Would you mind dashing out to the well and bringing in the dishes for me?"

"But Leo-"

"He'll be alright," Karai assured, fingers prodding him to lift his arms enough for her to slide off his jacket. "All he needs is proper rest. I'll take care of him; you see to those dishes for me."

"Yes ma'am."

"Thank you."

Leo watched blankly as Mikey trotted to the door. His baby brother hesitated, hand on the latch as he turned to look back at Leo with questioning eyes. It took a long moment to remember how to answer, to signal the muscles in his neck to move his head up and down in a wooden nod.

It probably wasn't the most convincing performance he'd ever given, but it seemed to give Mikey the confidence he needed to push open the door and slip out into the night.

"Come here, Blue."

He let Karai pull him to the hearth, half a grumble, half a whine stuck in his throat as he was pushed down onto something soft.

"It's not gonna help," he mumbled, allowing his heavy body to follow the call of gravity. "Stupid insomnia brain says no."

"And I say yes," Karai replied patiently, wedging a pillow underneath his head before pulling a heavily mended blanket up around his shoulders.

"But Dee… and Raphie..."

"We'll help them, I promise. But they'd want you to take care of yourself along the way. For now, try to relax."

Her hand swept over his face, cutting off his half-heartedly grumbled response before settling over his eyes. The same power that had helped him earlier returned, far warmer than any flame as it wrapped around his mind like a weighted blanket. His thoughts unraveled under its touch, dreams dissolving like fog under the radiance of the sun.

"Sleep."

_______________________

"One set of dishes, acquired!" Mikey called as he approached the door, barely restraining the urge to indulge in a few flips of joy.

Then again, why should he contain his razzmatazz? They'd done it, after all, he and Leo. They'd found Karai, a real Jedi master! Someone willing to teach them how to be a Jedi too! It was like his birthday and every other holiday all at once. Like finding out wishing stars were real and miracles bloomed like wildflowers! Surely that deserved at least a little celebration, right?

He had to bite his lip to stop the full strength of his smile from splitting his cheeks, giggling quietly as he indulged himself with a simple aerial, pushing the door open with his foot. Was it possible for life to be better than this?

"Where do these-"

"Quietly, please Michelangelo," Karai replied, her voice hushed. "You can just leave them on the table for now. I'll put them away later."

"You sure? I can totally...Whoa!"

"Shhhhhh," Karai shushed, one finger raising to her lips as Mikey's mouth fell open in shock.

Karai knelt between the cushions he'd placed at the hearth, outer robes discarded in a puddle off to one side. On her other side was Leo, his insomniac brother, fast asleep. No dreams twitched behind his eyes or pulled half intelligible mumbles past his lips. In fact, his big brother’s face was blank, downright peaceful.

Who needed wishes and miracles? They had Master Karai!

"How did you do that, teach me right now." Mikey demanded, dropping his voice to a matching whisper as he ditched the plates on the table.

"Just a simple suggestion," Karai chuckled, her thumb gently feathering across Leo's temple when he shifted to lay more fully on his side. "I’m merely helping his mind reach a state where it can enter and stay asleep naturally. However, the effectiveness of this skill is based on the mental fortitude of the person in question. Stronger minds are harder to sway, and thus it is not a technique you should become overly reliant on."

"Oh, I know that one! It’s called Jedi mind trick! Master Kenobi talked about using it!"

"I see you've been studying the holocron," Karai noted, eye crinkling at the corners as she beckoned him over to the empty cushion.

"You bet!" Mikey affirmed, flopping down and then rolling over to lie on his stomach and look up at her. "Leo started me on Master Fisto for basics, but I like Masters Kenobi, Skywalker, and Windu. I didn’t like Master Mundi as much; he was cold. I tried Master Yoda, but I couldn't make heads or tails of what he was saying."

"Many of us struggled to understand him if it's any consolation," Karai nodded, grey eyes staring into space as Mikey got comfortable. "Grand Master Yoda enjoyed his riddles, almost as much as he enjoyed watching people scramble their brains trying to work them out. But they always had a purpose in the end, a lesson, even if it wasn't apparent. You just had to trust and keep your mind open."

"Just like how we found you," Mikey beamed, words split by a huge yawn.

"Much like that," Karai agreed, her free hand moving to carefully pull off Mikey's mask. She set the orange fabric by his pillow before reaching over and pulling up his blanket. "The most important thing you must always remember Michelangelo, is that the Force is in all things, and all things are directed by its will. This is the core principle of the Jedi code, and so long as we have it, none of us are ever lost."

"I won't forget, I promise," Mikey promised, jaw cracking on another yawn as he snuggled deeper into his bedding.

"Good. Now, get some sleep. Tomorrow, we will start your training."