#please don't worry I'm just... having a hard time
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Dick sighed as he made his way along the familiar, well worn, path to the back of the Wayne Manor grounds.
Jason Wayne had had a large funeral, and was buried in the public graveyard, by his mother. Jason Todd-Wayne, Bruce Wayne's second son, Dick's little brother and the second Robin, was buried in the back of the Wayne grounds, in the Wayne family plot.
Dick picked up little stones as he walked, gently picking up the same tune as always as he selected pretty rocks from in between leaves and dirt.
"Down by the bay," He began quietly, voice harmonizing with the wind, wrapping around the stone at the head of the too small plot.
"Where the watermelons rot..." Dick knelt, placing one rock on the headstone, next to the previous five. A stone for every month he had been taken from them.
"If you go home," Dick swallowed, brushing away stray bits of dirt and leaves that had fallen on the grave, setting new flowers into the hole.
"Just don't get caught.." His voice grew quieter as he sat, crossing his legs, hands digging into the earth.
"But if you do.. my father will say..." Tears slid down his cheeks, watering the dirt below.
"Don't you ever trust a man, cowering in the sand, down by the bay." Dirt dropped from his fingers as Dick stood, striding away.
It was almost too easy. Dick didn't stand a chance. The hero was down in seconds, cloth pressed against his nose to keep him quiet and compliant, as Jason loaded him into his truck and headed to the secure warehouse he had picked specially for the occasion.
It wasn't Dick's fault, not really. Jason had been working him hard, making his goons stir up as much trouble as possible, getting Dick burnt out and sleep deprived and stressed. And it wasn't Dick's fault that Jason had an intimate knowledge of his schedule. Of everything he did. Of all his moves.
He rolled up to the warehouse right on time, securing Dick to the chair and tying the last knot right as he blinked awake.
"Hello Birdie." He cooed, patting his big brothers face condescendingly.
Dick jerked away, a snarl ripping from his throat. "Hood."
A smile spread across Jason's face. "Oh, so you do know who I am. I'm pleased." Dick sneered at him, glancing around.
"Where are we? What do you want?" Jason hummed, walking to the sink to fill up a glass of water.
"You know, usually I'm the one asking the questions, but I'm feeling generous today, so I supposed you might as well know." He gestured to the room they were in. "A warehouse, off the borders of Gotham." He waited a beat, and, predictably, Dick's skin turned a little lighter.
"And what I want, truly, Golden Boy, is your Daddy. You're just the bait."
It took a shorter time than Jason expected for Bruce to find them. Not that he actually showed up, but Jason got the message from one of his goons that Batman was sniffing around. "Keep him distracted. I'll send word when to tell him." He pinged off quickly, turning to the vigilante still tied up in the corner.
Dick was doing a remarkable job of staying relaxed, acting as though nothing was wrong. But Jason could see the tension thrumming through his body, the disguised concern. He was worried. For Bruce, of course, not himself. Never himself.
Jason sighed, leaning against the wall, and pretended not to notice Nightwing's shift of attention to him. It was subtle, and very well done, but Jason had also been trained by the Bat, and knew all the tricks. Not that he believed Dick hadn't been looking at him the whole time.
"Down by the bay," He mumbled quietly, fiddling with his now empty glass. "Where the watermelon rot." He huffed, a small smile curling his lips. "If you go home-"
The chair clattered against the wall and Jason looked up in surprise just in time to make eye contact as Nightwing pinned him against the wall, forearm pressed against his neck, the other hand disarming him with ease.
Jason cursed quietly. He should've known Dick would wrangle out of his bindings. Or.. have enough strength to break them. He realized, as he spotted the mangled chair.
"How do you know that song?" Nightwing snarled, teeth bared, pure fury vibrating every single cell in his body. Jason blinked in surprise. That was not what he had expected the question to be.
"My... my brother used to sing it to me." He answered, truthfully, to both of their surprises. Maybe because he was caught off guard. Maybe because he didn't see a point to lie. Maybe because he hadn't been aware it was the truth until he said it. "While I- while I slept."
Jason let out a breath of air as he was dropped to the floor, as Nightwing took a step back. His face was guarded, wary, and Jason rubbed his neck, eyeing the vigilante with his own mix of curiosity and wariness.
Then Nightwing did something he never expected. "Jason?" Jason stumbled back, eyes wide in surprise. Dick inhaled sharply. "It is you." Jason fumbled for something, anything, but Dick had taken everything.
"Ho-How- did you- no I'm not-" But Dick crossed the room, arms enveloping him, uncaring of Jason's bulky jacket and mask and uncaring that he had killed and he had kidnapped Dick and-
And then Jason was crying, great, heaving, ugly sobs that shook his body, and Dick was holding him and humming and whispering sweet nothings and somehow they ended up on the floor, and Jason was clawing at his brothers back, hugging him back.
Dick shushed him gently, rocking, and Jason heard the audible click of something as Dick ground his back teeth together. "Its him B. Its him." Jason reared back, but Dick held up a placating hand, tears in his eyes and hope and pleading, so Jason stayed, wary, next to him, as Dick talked to Bruce. Of course they had new, unidentifiable tech, that allowed them to speak. That's how Bruce knew where he was. That's why he hadn't come. Jason waited until Dick signed off, clicking his comm tech back onto his teeth with a jerk of his jaw.
"How did you know?" He asked quietly. Dick shrugged, sagging against the wall.
"You're identifiable. No one... no one is that good unless they're bat trained." There was a simple truth to it, no bragging, not boastful. "And well... we had- we have the Batcomputer."
The dots were beginning to connect in Jason's head. "You let me catch you."
Dick nodded slowly. "Yes." He agreed simply. "We needed to know for certain, and since you seemed more eager to interact with me than directly with Bruce- which I get." he added quieter. "I was the one. And then... I didn't believe it." He admitted.
"I wanted to, so badly. So I could get you back. So that I could have another chance to be a big brother. A good one, this time." He shook his head ruefully. "I'm sorry about that, by the way."
The words stunned Jason, so quick, so genuine, not a second thought besides that he had been wrong, and was apologizing for it.
"But I didn't believe it. Not until.." Now he hesitated.
"The song." Jason realized. Dick nodded.
"I invented that song. And I only ever sang it for you. When I... when I visited you. There was... there could be no other explanation."
Jason sighed. "Well.. That ends my rather dramatic plans doesn't it?" He grumbled, but he wasn't upset. Not truly. Dick smiled faintly.
"I suppose so." He glanced over sideways, eyes analytical. "Do you want to see him?" The words were loaded, and Jason breathed, trying to think.
"No. I mean- not- not yet." It felt stupid and selfish and cowardly, but he wasn't ready. Not yet. Dick nodded though, and didn't push. They sat in silence for a bit when Dick started to hum.
"Down by the bay"
Jason smiled.
"Down by the bay,"
"Where the watermelon rot."
"Where the watermelon rot."
"If you go home,"
"If you go home,"
"Just don't get caught"
"Just don't get caught"
"But if you do..."
"But if you do..."
"My father will sayy,"
"My father will sayy,"
"Never trust the man, hiding in the sand, down by the bay."
@anonyunknownonearth @tigerliliesandcherryblossoms @writingpoorly @cece-alex @panp7 @amnmich @faeriegodpwn @ko-neko-san @kittykate23 @some-macaroni-and-geese @koraesrambles @spirit-fingers22 @nkc71 @discordzero
sry if you didnt wanna be tagged but i tried to get everyone who reblogged/had a reaction or asked for a fic :)
Dick hums the same little tune every time he visits Jason’s grave. When Jason returns as Red Hood his first play is to capture Nightwing, Batman’s star pupil, his golden boy. While he’s waiting for Bruce to react, Jason hums it to himself. Nightwing goes still, a moment before he breaks free of his bindings and pins Jason to the wall, snarling “how do you know that song?” Jason blinks at him a few times before responding, surprisingly, both because he’s caught off guard by Dicks reaction and because, well… it’s the truth. “My big brother used to sing it to me. While I slept.”
#hope you enjoyed#:)#its short and less angsty bc i honestly couldnt find a direction#but i hope you liked it anyway#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#brothers#batkids#im sorry?
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Hii this is so random but do you think you could write vampire!billie? Any plot is fine!
this gave me goosebumps UGHH, sorry for making you wait so long baby 💞
your blood b. eilish
warnings: smut, blood. BLOOD, mean!vampire!billie, blood drinkin (kinda a lot), billie has large and sharp fangs, oral, strap, crazy a lil
w/c - 3,4k
you were waiting for her so much. weeks in an empty bed seemed torturous while your girlfriend was on her music tour. and not only that. billie was an adored person all over the world. everyone thought she was so gentle, kind and cloyingly sweet, incapable of doing bad things. they were partly right, but only you knew what she was really capable of.
you cleaned the whole house before her arrival, cooked dinner, tidied yourself up so that your girlfriend would need nothing. you even put on her favorite underwear under a shirt and home shorts. everything was perfect for her arrival. you were waiting so much.
she promised to come in the evening, but it was already deep into the night, you couldn’t close your eyes because of the worries when she didn’t answer your calls. the lights in the whole house were on so that you wouldn’t be tempted to close your eyes. you curled up on the couch in the living room, spending there for what seemed like an eternity before the front door opened. you jump off the couch in relief.
“billie…” your expression changes when instead of a gentle smile on her face, you see her tired and desperate look. bags under her eyes, dirty disheveled hair and dirty clothes. her lipstick is slightly smudged, her whole appearance is pure chaos. She places her suitcase next to the door and walks inside, still wearing her sneakers. you watch her every move with concern.
“baby, what’s wrong?” you dare to break the silence when she sits down on the couch, covering her face with her hands. you slowly walk towards her and sit next to her. your hand gently touches her thigh as you look at her. your face is etched with worry. “i screwed up.”
she lets out a ragged breath, yanking her leg away from your touch. she was so nervous and tense that you felt uneasy. her whole body was dripping with discontent and innuendo. “billie, please explain to me. what happened?” your voice takes on a more serious and cold tone, but your eyes are still soft as you try to catch her gaze.
“fucked” she jumps up from the couch, burying her hands in her hair. she paces back and forth across the room, sighing loudly every now and then. you tried to give her time to explain to you what was going on. you lean back on the couch and cross your arms over your chest, seemingly forgetting to breathe.
“h-he ran away. he saw me, i think he saw me.” billie finally stops and looks at you with crystal empty eyes, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. you don’t immediately understand what she’s talking about, tilting your head. “who is ‘he’, baby? please tell me"
billie exhales heavily, like it's so hard to talk about this, like it's so hard to do anything, her body is breaking. "i'm hungry, i'm so fucking hungry. and i'm weak, and that's why i was so distracted, and he just... he fucking ran away. i couldn't catch him" billie sinks back onto the couch, her face twisted in hunger, revealing her fangs. they seemed to have gotten heavier and bigger, more dangerous, more attractive.
It all came together in your head as she explained to you what had happened. she was like this because she hadn't fed in a long time. she needed blood, she needed it to survive. literally. her skin was even paler, her veins showing on her tired face. how had you not noticed it before? "how long have you not fed?"
question hangs in the air for a few seconds before billie finds the strength to answer. "i don't know. a long time. a long time ago"
you bite your bottom lip, thinking about what to do next. idea in your head was just crazy and unrealistic, and you knew that billie would never agree to this. but you had to try. "baby..."
you slowly move towards her and straddle her hips. billie instinctively wants to put her hands on your hips, but you take her hands and intertwine your fingers. she gives you an ambiguous look, but remains silent, waiting for you to say something. "i know this might be dangerous for me, but maybe..."
"do you hear yourself?!" billie abruptly pulls her hands away, almost pushing you off her lap. Her face distorts with anger instantly, fire burning in her eyes. anyone would say that she is mad as hell, but you see something else behind this mask. fear, desire, hunger. "oh god, don't even dare say that out loud!"
her tone leaves no room for argument, but you know how much she needs it. to drink blood. your blood. you're a little afraid, but you touch her again. your fingertips graze over her shoulders. you tug at the fabric of her shirt, revealing her muscular arms. "but why? you need this, billie! i don't think you get offered-"
she interrupts with a nervous grin, this time allowing you to touch her, but her eyes and voice are still as cold. "listen to me carefully. i will never allow myself to drink a drop of your blood, never."
her gaze grows more furious as she looks at your neck, your pale skin practically begging her to leave the bite, but she continues. "if i taste you i don't know if i'll be able to stop. i can't put you at risk like that"
she carefully lifts you off her lap and heads towards the kitchen. you silently follow her. billie tries to convince herself that she can at least somehow cope with her hunger if she eats proper food. the homemade pasta you made. she brings the fork to her mouth, but hesitates as soon as she smells the food. "bilie... don't"
"i'm fine!" she cuts you and puts the fork in her mouth, chewing on the pasta for a few seconds before the urge to vomit attacks her throat. she runs to the trash can, and spits out everything she tried so desperately to swallow. the problem wasn't that you made her a bad dinner. she needed blood, lots of fresh blood. her body couldn't function properly without it. there was desperation in her eyes
"please, bils. just do it." you walked up to your girlfriend and gently placed your hands on her cheeks. she couldn't keep eye contact with you because she knew she would give in if she looked into your loving eyes. you wanted the best for her. always. so much so that you offered her to drink your own blood, putting yourself in danger. "i can't, baby. i just can't do this to you..."
she gave in and looked into your eyes. almost crying. from hunger, from desire, from fear. it was all affecting her so much that she thought she would fall apart under the pressure. "ill never forgive myself if i can't stop."
you left a soft kiss on her lips, urging her to be quiet. you wanted so much to help her in any way possible. you caress her face for a few more seconds before slowly moving her head to the side of your neck. the enticing warmth radiating from your skin made billie whine. “please, don’t do this…”
she licks her lips. her nose grazes over your soft skin, her arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to her. she looks at the pulsing vein in your neck as you tilt your head, giving her more access. her hot breath hits you as you both realize there’s no turning back. she won’t stop. your body temperature drops a few degrees, your fingertips shaking as you close your eyes. you were scared, but also so excited at that moment that it was driving you crazy
“i’m sorry,” she whispers before abruptly sinking her fangs into your pulsating flesh. A sharp pain shoots through your body like an electric shock, your eyes wide open as is your mouth. a few strangled moans choke in your throat. you're afraid to make the slightest sound or move your body even a millimeter. after a few seconds you feel your warm sticky blood running down your skin, staining your light shirt. it runs down your collarbones, your chest, your stomach. billie drank it so greedily and sloppily, not caring at all how much blood flows out. she'll wring out every drop. with each sip she became more and more uncontrollable.
adrenaline speeds up the circulation of your blood, only increasing the pleasure of billie as she continues to scratch your neck with her fangs. your soft skin ached from the pain. there were stars in your eyes, your body temperature changing seemingly every few seconds, while you heard your girlfriend swallow your blood. she jerks away from you, breathing heavily. you whine from another sharp prick of pain.
"god, i’m sorry... i got carried away, i shouldn't..." her eyes run over your face, she mumbles while you just stand there and silently stare at her. her lips, chin, nose are all covered in your scarlet blood. her fangs sparkle in the moonlight. it was so strange, but she looked so damn sexy. she was confused, but her gaze was so wild from how she instantly became addicted to your taste.
"you feeling better?" when you come to, you press your hand to your neck, feeling the warm blood beneath your fingertips. billie relaxes a little when she sees your reassuring gaze. you let her know youre okay. “yeah, yeah, i’m better. so much better. im sorry you had to go through that…” she drops her hands to your waist, pressing her forehead to yours.
“actually… i liked it” the tone of your voice makes billie smile and look you in the eyes. she was surprised. her eyebrows raised slightly as she studied your face. “what did you say?” she heard you perfectly well, but it was like she needed confirmation that she wasn’t delirious and that you actually liked it. she needed to know that she didn’t hurt you.
“i said i liked the feeling” you whisper, standing on your toes to whisper in her ear. you knew she was about to lose control. "your teeth in my flesh, my warm blood running down my skin. it's so strange, but so exciting..."
billie's mouth dropped open, breathing raggedly. her earlier worry disappeared when she saw you were okay. maybe too much. "i can't believe it. i just drank your blood and you like it?"
she pulls back and looks you in the eyes. she only needed one word to break completely. you could feel her desire in the warming air. or is it that you're still so agitated after she drank about half a liter of your blood in one go. "yes..."
your whisper turns billie on with a snap of her finger. she lights up. the hunger in her eyes is still there, only now she's not hungry for blood, she's hungry for you. for your body, soft as play dough in her hands. "you're such a slut if you really liked it"
the next moment she's dragging you to the bedroom on the second floor. her teeth are grinding as she throws you on the bed. now some of her life force has returned and she remembered how much she missed you. her head could finally work properly to realize how long it's been since you felt each other's warmth. fucking weeks spent hundreds of miles apart.
"god, i missed you so much" her body is hovering over yours. the tips of her long hair tickle your skin as she takes off your bloody shirt, revealing your lacy bra. your upper body is covered in your blood. a smile spreads across her face as she looks up at your face. "you were waiting for me"
"of course i was. you have no idea how" you giggle. she looked so sexy with that look and your frozen blood on her face. billie leaves a kiss on your lips, letting you taste the salty taste of your blood on your lips. crazy feeling. you squirm slightly under her. "please, bills…"
"please, what?" she is amused by your whining. it's amazing how much her mood has improved after she drank your blood. maybe there was something special about it. you whisper softly about how much you need her, and it clearly affects her. billie leaves kisses on your body, caressing your collarbone with her tongue. "i wasn't kidding when i said i couldn't stop"
you don't have time to ask her, as you feel another painful bite on your body. her teeth are clamped around your collarbone, making you feel the pressure on your bone. she didn't even sink her teeth all the way in, but a pool of blood still formed on your body, which billie drank up, greedily swallowing every drop. the pain wasn't as noticeable now, causing your brain to continue to drift to the warmth between your legs. the contrast of pain and desire was driving you crazy.
bilie waits until a pool of blood forms above your collarbone again, before dipping her fingertips into it. you look at her questioningly, but remain silent, waiting for what she will do. billie runs her fingers over your stomach, drawing something on your skin. the dark, thick blood contrasted with your milky skin, as billie mindlessly smeared your blood over your body.
"baby, please..." you remind her not to get too carried away. she giggles in response and licks the last of your blood off her fingers. she found it funny. “sorry, princess.”
billie peels off your shorts, throwing them to the other corner of the bedroom. she greedily examines every inch of your exposed skin, like she’s seeing it for the first time. “god, you’re gorgeous.” she can’t help but comment when such a beautiful, obedient girl lies beneath her, letting her do whatever she wants to her.
she pulls you to the edge of the bed, kneeling between your legs. you prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better view of her face. god, you wanna take a picture. you thought you were dreaming right now, that this wasn’t real.
ripping the thin piece of fabric off your body, billie swallows hard. you hear it. something new flashes in her eyes as she practically growls. She places your legs on her shoulders, her hands squeezing your hips painfully. She leaves wet kisses on the inside of your thighs, looking into your eyes. "billie…"
you’re literally dripping. you wanted her so badly, inside you. you needed her to fuck you so badly, but billie had something else in mind. She lowers your legs, wrapping both hands around your left thigh. She massages it for a few seconds before running her tongue over your warm skin. "what are you-"
she doesn't let you finish. her fangs sink into your flesh again. all the way. she clenches her jaws so hard you want to scream. She moans loudly and obscenely as the taste of your blood imprints on her tongue. She takes big greedy gulps, but you still feel your blood dripping down your leg. right onto the white carpet. “billie…”
you throw your head back against the sheets, trying to get used to the feeling. after a few seconds, the pain faded, leaving only a slight discomfort. but that seemed to go away too when she looked at you. Her eyes were wild, animalistic, sending shivers down your spine. her dark eyeliner highlighted her light eyes, and oh god, you were just aching. you needed her.
as soon as her fangs emerge from your skin, you feel a strange emptiness inside. it was mutual dependence. aching, but so strong. you just need to feel her mouth on you. it doesn’t matter how. billie licks a trickle of blood from your skin before finally placing her tongue where you need her most. “fuck, yes…”
your hand immediately flies to her hair, pulling her head down to your needy pussy. she literally growls into your flesh, telling you what a dirty slut you are. all the events of the night were forgotten as soon as her tongue wrapped around your clit, making you moan in pleasure. electric.
the dirtiest sounds came out of her mouth as she devoured you. the taste of your blood still clinging to her tongue, mixing with your juices. it was driving her crazy. her hands traced their way to your breasts, squeezing hard. she lightly scratched your skin, making you arch your back. every atom of your body wanted to feel her.
"i'm close...i’m..." you whine, thinking that billie will make you wait, but she just buries her face deeper into your pussy. she wanted to reward you, to worship you, because you literally brought her back to life. once she tasted you, she would never want anyone else's blood again. only you.
your body disintegrates into a million pieces as an electric orgasm shoots through your body, leaving you shaking for a while. you breathe heavily, looking up at the ceiling. billie crawls towards you, looking into your eyes with a playful glint in hers. you reach your hand up to her face, trying to wipe away at least a few drops of your blood, but she doesn't let you. "i like the feeling of your blood"
"but you have it all over your face!" you giggle and intertwine your fingers. your body calmed down a bit, but billie still wanted to do one thing. you see the glint of something unsaid in her eyes and you whisper softly, "what do you want?"
there’s a look of relief on her face, like she's been waiting for you to ask. "i want you to ride me. my cock." Your heart skips a beat when she mentions her strap. you’ve been hungry for that. you nod softly and she pulls away from you, taking off her jeans as she does so. "sit on the edge."
she instructs you as she quickly fastens the strap to her thighs. She does it so casually, like if she doesn't have you on her body for another minute she'll die. billie sits down on the bed and roughly pulls you onto her lap.
"lower yourself." Her voice drips with dominance, making you weak in the knees. you slowly lower yourself onto her strap, holding onto her shoulders. you’ve missed this feeling so much. you moan, lowering your body completely onto hers. you give yourself a few seconds to adjust, but billie squeezes your hips tightly. “come on, bunny, bounce on me.”
her words leave your brain in a mess as you start bouncing on her cock like a fucking bunny. billie’s hands wander over your body as she finally finds her way to the clasps of your bra to push it off your body. your breasts bounce with every movement you make. her cock is buried deep inside your pussy, hitting all the right spots.
“go faster.” billie grabs your breasts with both hands, making your pace only sloppier. you couldn’t go on your own anymore with her teasing you like that. your whole body was a bloody dull mess underneath her. your legs were weak as you fell against her. "i...i can't..."
"that's pathetic, baby," she chuckles, running her tongue over your tits before biting you again. your hands tighten on her shoulders as she only sinks her teeth halfway in, but it's enough to draw blood again. it runs down your nipple and billie swirls it around with her tongue with a satisfied groan, letting go with pop-sound.
finished torturing your breasts, she finally changes your position, pressing your face into the mattress. your ass is hanging in the air as she finally thrusts into you. her nails scratching your back, her cock is buried in your pussy, all the sheets are crumpled from your grip and stained with your blood. "harder, billie, right there..."
this was probably the craziest night of your life, because your head was no longer working. her cock was fucking you so stupidly, a liter of your blood was pumped out of your body. perfect conditions so the only thing on your mind is billie. the angle she fucks you at, making your pussy clench around her cock as she makes you cum over and over.
your blood pushed her into it.
tags: @dandelions4us
requests open !!
a/n - UGH i love it
#billie eilish#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish smut#billie eilish fic#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish oneshot#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you
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inner child pac reading
🦀 pile one,,
I know we're used to being super helpful, but it's good to help yourself too. you should always make sure you're okay first. It's important for us to be okay, even if other people don't think so. we should think so. things are gonna be okay for us. they always are. I want to do the things we like. I don't understand why you care about what people think now. I think we should try doing what we like more, even if it's embarrassing. it doesn't have to take a lot of time. it's just good to have fun sometimes. maybe you can get back into some of our old interests if you want?
it seems like this pile had to mature quickly and was overly generous in childhood. this likely led to some people pleaser habits. when the world said "be nice" and "care about others" you took it to heart, but it felt like you were the only one who did. you felt like you had to be the adult in your childhood and care for other people around you. for some of you, you may have had to care for a parental/older familiar figure or your siblings. you're used to changing your words and your personality to be more digestible and gentle because this strong fear of conflict. you were scared of people being mean to you, so you avoided making anyone mad. it was like you were always tiptoeing over eggshells. now, you don't have to, so there's no point in worrying about people who don't worry about you. you'd be doing yourself and your inner child a favor by doing what you want. it might feel wrong to be yourself, but at least try. I won't delve too much into this part, but I believe some people in this pile also dealt with being oversexualized or being hyper sexual at a young age. I think it's important to know you're more than what you can give others for this pile. please also take a break for the love of god.
🐸 pile two,,
It's hard to feel loved if nobody shows you. at the same time, i don't think I'd want to be loved. it seems weird and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it so it's scary. I still wish that someone would care at least. it feels like nobody else cares. I'm really tired of things being silent and boring all the time. I want to do something fun. I want friends but I want to be by myself. people think I'm weird, but I think they're the weird ones. they can avoid me but I wouldn't wanna be friends with them anyway. it doesn't matter if it's lonely, I don't feel less lonely around people anyway. some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. i heard I look mean or I act mean sometimes, but what if that's just who I am? I don't try to be mean to people. I just don't want people to hurt me.
holy neglect trauma... there's a lot to unpack here 😓 first off, I hope you're alright. it seems like this pile never really learned how to interact with people and is probably still a bit of a people hater. this pile has had to keep strong boundaries and walls on to protect themselves from unfamiliar experiences (being spoken to positively.) if you've never experienced something, it can be scary but you have to stop thinking every little thing is gonna go wrong in your life. it's fine. separate note but I think someone's ancestors are very present here, might want to connect with them if you don't already. you can try to shut down the feelings of loneliness and pretend connection won't help but it does. you're probably not connected with your inner child or you're ashamed of yourself for some reason. trying to be cold won't undo anything or save you from the feelings you're hiding. you'll have to acknowledge them at some point. escapism and forcing ignorance wont help forever. hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but that's your choice. it's okay to be soft, btw.
🐕 pile three,,
I know what I'm talking about. I'm serious. I wish people would take me more seriously. i get good grades, I study hard, I always prove how smart I am. for some reason, people still act like I'm too young and stupid to have opinions or that what I say is just silly, especially with emotions. they act like having emotions makes you a less rational person. some people look down on me for who I am, too. it's not something I can change. whether it's gender, age, or whatever, people always want an excuse to ignore how I feel or what I have to say. I know I'm right though. I don't want us to stop expressing ourselves. I wanna share how I feel to the world.
this pile is extremely opinionated and knows how to share their emotions. this pile is for the "bossy" kids who "should have been lawyers" or "a CEO" according to every adult around them. you were emotional as a child and it was always ignored or joked off as if your feelings were invalid. this pile is definitely natural-born leaders so if you aren't/never have been aspiration-driven or "extra" this pile probably isn't yours. the most healing thing you can do for yourself at this point is speak up. continue to speak about everything. share your opinion more, it's safe now and people will actually take you seriously. be emotional, be too much, be annoying, be talkative, be over-opinionated, be everything you feel like being and don't let anyone talk you out of it. lead your life how you want to. call everything out, even if it means being weird. I definitely feel like some people in this pile had the gifted kid experience or liked to read a lot when they were younger. there's also some unresolved anger that might need to be taken care of. I think speaking up more instead of bottling feelings up will definitely help that, though. you're not stupid or weak for being emotional. just be yourself unapologetically and that's the best thing you can do for your younger self.
#chocoqtelle#tarot#pac reading#free tarot#pick a card#pac tarot#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick an image reading#tarot pac#inner child#nostalgia#childhood#free tarot reading#pick a card reading#pickacard#pick a photo#pick a card readings#pick a card tarot reading#pick a pile reading#pick an image#tarot pick a card#pac#love tarot reading#love pac#love tarot free#love tarot#tarot cards#witchblr
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Things between mom and dad weren't exactly going well. Above all, we didn't fuck anymore, but they continued to go out in the evening with friends to give a sense of normalcy. And that evening they had to go out too. The intercom rang, it was my father: "Please tell your mother that I'll pick her up in 20 minutes, I'm going to gas up the car". I go to the bathroom to tell mom and I find her in lingerie, stockings and high heels, I give her the message from dad and mom, looking me in the eyes says: "I know you've been spying on me for a long time and that I turn you on. I haven't fucked in two years, so come here to your mom and fuck me, it'll all stay in the family anyway, just don't kiss me or you'll leave marks and don't take off my bra". I go near her, spread her legs, move her panties to reveal her pussy shining with excitement, take my cock out of her shorts and after placing it at the entrance of her pussy I enter her tunnel of love. Mom had a hot pussy, but above all very tight that wrapped my cock perfectly. As soon as I entered all the way inside her, mom moans: "Aahh, finally I have a hard cock again, in my eager pussy… come on my son, fuck me. Fuck your mommy". I hold on to her butt cheeks and start to go in and out of her very tight slit. "Mommy, you are so hot. This is my dream come true, to enter your warm intimacy and fuck you". Mom looks at me and panting says: "Don't worry, we will do it many more times and more calmly when we are alone at home. Now enter hard, I am about to come". I speed up the thrusts, but I realize that I am about to come too: "Mommy, I am going to cum in a little while, where do I have to do it". Mom excitedly replies: "Come inside me, so we don't leave any traces around because I can't get pregnant anymore". Comforted by mom's words I speed up the thrusts. Mom holds me tight and looking into each other's eyes we reach orgasm Mom: "Mom's love, I'm coming" Me: "Mom I'm cumming" Mom: "Come on, cum inside me, I want all your seed inside me". With 6 thrusts, I spray all my seed inside Mom, then I come out of Mom still with my cock dripping. Mom, at the same time puts her panties back in place so as not to drip my cum and then bending down takes my cock in her mouth milking the last drops of cum. Then she gets up and giving me a kiss on the lips says: "Now let me finish getting ready. Tomorrow you won't go to school and you will stay in bed with me all day"
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[ His Companion ] Hazbin Hotel Various x Male Reader
Part 7: Her Comfort
__________________________
The curious little entity roamed around the endless darkness
__________________________
You smiled warmly at him as he joyfully danced around.
*gasp! " ___ look!"
Your eyes widened with amazement.
You let out a shaky breath of awe.
" I'm just like you now!"
You laughed and embraced him.
" Yeah.."
__________________
You sat quietly beside Vaggie, silently looking as Vaggie raged to the radio overlord about the crappy commercial that he made. You patted her shoulder as a reassurance as Charlie tried to calm her down.
Your phone rang as Angel dust rambled about how he was made to be exploited, or rather his body. You politely excused yourself, glancing at the number on the phone and then at Alastor as he stared back at you.
It was a brief eye contact, something that can be mistaken as just a coincident. But Husk caught up to it and felt somewhat uneasy in his gut.
Just as you left to answer the call, you also heard Charlie's ringtone. You caught the name of the caller. Dad. You almost let out a smile.
Lucifer huh? It's been quite a long while...
Your lord doesn't let you see him as much. And who are you to deny him?
You went back to your phone, answering it.
" Hello, baby cakes~"
" Lord Valentino, I hope you are doing well. Is there something you need?"
" Straight to the point, that's what I like about you~"
" I am glad that you are pleased with me. It's an honor to br accepted by the loyal partner of lord Vox. "
Behind the phone screen your smile turned coldly sarcastic, contrasting to your gently and genuine voice.
" Hmm~ that's what I like to hear. So about what I called you for, I need---"
You listened to his requests or rather orders whilst mindlessly twirling the burning pink mist on your fingers. They tangled in your fingers, swaying with every command of the motions.
It was obedient, compliant and mindless. Trapped. Just like how this stupid overlord will be. Not yet, but soon. You'll just haved to train him more.
Even little insects can be beneficial once your lord gets to sit on the throne.
You ended the call and went back to the main lobby where Charlie was singing and dancing. You blinked, watching her skip her way down the sinful streets of hell.
" What happened when I was gone?" you asked with a lost and confused tone.
" Oh don't worry about it babe. Just princess there getting called about meeting angels or sum shit." Angel replied to you with a shrug and then he went on to proceed his flirting with the angry cat demon.
" Angels?" you were ecstatic. Yet you voiced your tone as a confused one.
" Yeah.. Her dad told her that there was gonna be a meeting with the angels and she was allowed to be part of it in stead for him." Vaggie replied this time.
" Ah... I see." you said as you concealed a cold smile.
The only angels who would be willing to be on a meeting with a demon... are the once who new about the extermination.
And they wouldn't just send some lowly exterminator angel.
You covered half of your face to hide your grin. Oh.. Everything is going according to plan~
" M/n?" Vaggie's voice called out to you in concern.
You blinked, snapping out of your malicious thoughts.
" Hmm?"
" You alright?"
" Yes, of course. I just remembered something I should be doing. It's pretty important, you see. Would it be alright if I go out for a moment?" you said with your usual gentle and polite smile.
" Yeah, sure. You've done a lot more that anyone else anyways. " She said as she pointed a glare at the rest of the staff and the only patron.
Alastor just sent her a grin, Nifty a maniacal cackle, Husk a middle finger and Angel raised a brow in amusement.
You let out a breathly laugh and pat her in the back.
" Don't be too hard on them, I'm sure that they're doing the best they can." you smiled.
Vaggie just sighed and nodded her head.
" Well, I'm off!" you waved them goodbye as you ran out of the door.
Alastor's grin came out sharper and menacing for a moment.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
" ARGH!! FUCK!! " Charlie yelled as she slammed the door of the meeting room with her fists. This was a failure. This man was not the angel she had expected to meet. She tought....
" Charlie?"
She gasped and turned around to see you standing just a few distance behind her. You had your usual gentle gaze that was currently filled with concern. Your warm smile subtly crooked from worry.
" M/n! What...what are you... doing here?" her voice cracked and she almost couldn't get out a full sentence. Hopelessness and defeat creeping up to her.
" I went on an errand and just happen to pass by after... I thought that I'd wait for you out here so we could walk home together. " you said with much warmth that she had expected from a mother. Not noticing that you emphasized the word home.
" I.." before Charlie could get out another word, though honestly she didn't feel like she could without breaking into tears.
You gave her another warm smile and reached out to her.
" Let's go home, Char."
Charlie looked up at your hand... And took it.
This was the first time in her whole life that someone reached out for her.
She was always the one who lent her hand to everyone she meets for their comfort, to help.
She was always the one to try to reach out for others. She reached out to Vaggie when they first met to help her. She reached out to Angel dust when he was full of sorrow. She had reached out to Husk, who she new was carrying heavy pain.
She had reached out for her father when he locked himself in that dark room..... She had reached our for her mother, as her back faced her, before she left.
No one has ever lend our their hand for her to take. Not her father, not Vaggie, not her mother... You.
Ever since you came... You were the main source of help and comfort she had other than her girlfriend.
You had volunteered to help the hotel to what it is now. You had comforted her just after Alastor came in, giving her your genuine support.
Some hidden times when she cried for her mother... You came to wipe her tears and give her warm hugs.
And the times when she wished that she could go back to when she was just a child, dreaming about demon's redemption with her mother and father right beside her happily laughing... You indulged with her fantasy and shared your own.
She wondered if it would be selfish.. To always go to you and ask for your comfort everytime she feels even a little bit down.
Charlie's eyes were clouded with her thoughts as you quietly guided her towards the hotel. You held her hand and shoulder as she leaned on you and let you guide her.
You had dragged away every demon's shadow if they get even 5 feet close.
Out of sight.....
Soft glow of golden flecks swirled between the fingers that held her hand.
______________
___________________
Until it found a little light
___________________
" One day, I'm gonna build a wold just for us!" he exclaimed with joy.
" Hmm.. Really?"
" Yeah! A world where there's only happiness and freedom! Just for the two of us!"
" That sounds... amazing. I can't wait to live in that world. Though, right now, I think I'm already living in that world. " you said smiling.
" Well, we'll make this even better! "
You laughed at his enthusiasm. But really... nothing could be more better than this.
@christinebloodwrittings
#hazbin hotel#male reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x male reader#alastor x male reader#charlie morningstar#platonic charlie x reader#helluva boss x reader#helluva boss#helluva boss x male reader
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TW:- Stalking,rape
On an ordinary day, as you geared up for the usual work routine, the doorbell's ring jolted you from the everyday humdrum. Intrigued, you opened a package to find a set of unsettling pictures of you. They weren't just any photos - they were snapshots of your own home, from your bedroom to the living room and even the bathroom. It was like someone had been snooping around your life without you knowing. Someone had been stalking you.
Mixed in with these creepy photos was a letter that gave off some seriously creepy vibes. It spoke of someone watching you closely, almost like a silent companion in your personal space. The words painted a picture of a mysterious figure who seemed to know a bit too much about your private moments. He's seen you rubbing your cunt to disgusting rape porn. He knows how much of a pathetic slut you are
A shiver ran down your spine as you read the letter, a mixture of fear and an unexpected thrill coursing through you. A puzzling sensation of arousal washes over you, leaving you perplexed by its unexpected presence.
Your entire workday was a series of fantasies, each moment consumed by vivid thoughts of what he might do to you. After leaving the workplace, you headed homeward, yet a constant fear lingered, worrying that unseen eyes might be keeping watch on your every move.Entering a state of submission, a mix of fear and a hint of arousal washes over you. These scenarios have been the stuff of fantasies, but reality hits unexpectedly. You grasp the situation, realizing there's no recourse but to embrace the unfolding events. You put on the sluttiest outfit you own.Fear gripped you as you stood there, anxiously anticipating the arrival of your stalker.
Your mind is abuzz with conflicting thoughts: fear and panic on the one hand, and excitement and anticipation on the other.
After waiting a long time, the sound of footsteps coming from your back startled you. As the footsteps get louder, your body begins to quiver with anticipation. The door swung open, and before you can react, a man clad in black entered. As you turned around to run, he caught your arms and dragged you onto the floor. You try to scream, but he covers your mouth with his hand, rendering you helpless.
As he unzips his pants and takes out his dick, the only thing on your mind is, "I'm going to be fucked by a stranger. I'm going to be raped."
You were terrified of what might happen. However, at the same time, the idea of being taken advantage of in this manner was exciting. The thought of giving up control and submitting to his will, becoming a helpless slut for him to use as he pleases, made you wet. You were conflicted, yet you didn't care. You didn't have a choice anymore.
His cock slid into your dripping cunt. As he pounded you hard, your body writhed uncontrollably, the pleasure building up as his cock rubbed against your sweet spot. His grunts and moans were a sign of his approaching orgasm. As his cum flooded your womb, you came, too, squirting all over his cock.
Your first time having sex was with a man you don't know. He had violated you and impregnated you without your permission. Yet, it was the most enjoyable fuck of your life.
"You're a great fuck, and you're going to make a wonderful mother. I've always wanted a child."
Those were his parting words, leaving you dumbfounded. You couldn't believe what had just happened, but it was the truth. You'd just had your first fuck and had been impregnated by a man you didn't know.
It had been a strange experience. You'd felt violated, but also, in a strange way, fulfilled. It was like something you'd been missing your whole life had suddenly been filled.
#cnc free use#rough cnc#bd/sm community#bd/sm daddy#cnc k!nk#cnc kidnapping#cnc stalking#r4p3play#r@pe fantasy#cnc somno#wattpad#rapekink#r4p3 kink#r4pepl4y#bdsmplay#r@pe k!nk#r4p3 fantasy#bd/sm breeding#breeding k1nk#bdmslifestyle#misogny kink#abuse k1nk#stalking fantasy#stalker kink#cnc daddy#hard k1nk#dark kinks#objectification kink#humiliating kink#r@pe kink
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Moderate to severe mental illness as like... a chronic illness is kind of hilarious way to live, because it's so hard to talk about without being like "I mean, please don't worry, I'm fine. I mean, I'm not, but also this is something I'm very used to navigating" every fifteen seconds.
#I'll be okay except it won't last and that's okay#I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH THOUGH THAT I AM NOT IN ANY DANGER#please don't worry I'm just... having a hard time#which is hard to get that excited about after all these years
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to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u
#look...i know it's been a month but hear me out-#guys don't yell he's really trying okay!!#NOT a mean ww truther bc he really isn't mean like at all#not in an intentional way#he's just stressed and embarrassed and tipsy here give him a break#he's swagless & thinks it's yet another reason he's unlovable (untrue)#dont worry woowoo vash also severely lacks in the swag department#but funny doodles aside i have other more serious art of them already posted + in the works#their understanding of each other ends up being so deep#but at the same time they manage to be so utterly stupid about it#how do they manage? i don't know#they just make me want to tear my hair out#you're important to each other!!!! get!! that!!! thru!! ur! HEADS!!!!#neither of them think they deserve what they want/need#i'm inconsolable actually nobody talk to me (talk to me please)#see using words isn't so hard. stupid fictional men#(she thought she did something with those tags)#times are hard but i stay silly#by that i mean i re-read vol 10#on the daily.#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#nicholas d wolfwood#trimax#trigun#tzarrz
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I just need to be told "You Can Do It" right now.
#I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep within the last 48 hours and I'm still behind in my classes#I don't know how I'm supposed to keep up at this point#Just grinding constantly for hours every waking moment of my life#I'm stuck wondering the same things#'When will it slow down?'... 'Will it actually ever slow down?'#If it doesn't i don't think i can keep up#Full time in college and full time in work#However#every time i try to speak my troubles or stress to someone they just chuckle#and ignore me saying ''well college is like that. welcome to the adult world''#Why does college have to be like this? why is everyone so fine with this?#I'm very unmotivated right now#My grades are all low despite the numerous 100%s I've been getting#And they're not going back up no matter how many A+ s I get on assignments#I don't like talking to people - it scares me terribly#So i don't like it when I'm constantly forced to talk to over 10 people every time i go to school (talk to your professor they say#I like to think of my job at my second home#at least that's not too hard and i love the people#But I just need things to get less intense school-wise#Just for me to get a decent amount of sleep please#Just a little bit#Please#i don't know#I'm not going on hiatus no worries#I love my blog dearly and cannot abandon it for my mental health#I just need encouragement#Because I'm so tired#Sorry for the rant I hate to vent#I'll delete this later if i remember#💬
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If Piko's dress has//had pockets where do you think they are//would be? asking because I need to write that he put his phone in his pocket and I realized I Don't Know Where He Would Even Have Them on his clothes.
I feel compelled to add his boxart image here and I don't know how to explain why so I'm not gonna even try. Here. Have him.
#vocaloid#utatane piko#I don't know how to describe it but that strange grey thing above the semicircle triangle light#near the bottom of the 'skirt' part of the dress seems like the most likely area for someone to be able to put a pocket#on that outfit. Like kind of like a hidden pocket. esp with the black line connecting the two#which could act like a seam for the pocket#I am on pc since that's the easiest way to access this tumblr most of the time (I don't want to log out of personal on mobile)#so I can't go crop the picture to focus on just that area#that whole not wanting to log out thing killed my first and only attempt at an ask blog btw (that plus drawing fatigue)#I'm pretty sure that's a dress#Why do all my favorite vocaloids wear confusing clothes and have hard to remember designs#JUST LET ME DRAW YOU WITHOUT A REFERENCE HUYGHHYHHHJ#piko vocaloid#I'm also trying to figure out his heels//heeled boots but that doesn't matter to what I'm writing#Piko's design is so confusing#YukitA please make more art of him I know it's been like 13 years (?) since you last drew him but I need references#I feel awkward looking this over so I'm gonna stop worrying and just. post it.#sorry everyone /hj
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I hate constantly questioning and not knowing what identity I am. I am fully 30 years old and still do not know what I want. I usually just know what I really DON'T want because that's usually what is offered to me. I'm very good at finding what I don't want.
At this point if I am actually asexual or demisexual I would not be surprised. Because I got repulsed a woman who was being extremely forward on the dating site I was on. We did not know each other at all (literally the second message I got from this woman was sexual and all I said was hi). Am I crazy for thinking that maybe we should at least try to get to know each other first???
#so perhaps biromantic was acurate after all?#I'm guessing I'm more likely demi and that I'd be interested in trying things if it was with someone I trusted and adored#she was verified but someone pointed out to me that she might have been a guy pretending to be a girl to try to get women's attention/pics#don't worry I didn't fall for it if it was a trick#like I could probably die before ever having a relationship- I don't want to but trying to connect with people is just awful#by which I mean I feel like I'm going to be forever single and that used to not bother me at all#there is nothing wrong with being single but I feel like there might be something wrong with me that everything I try ends up being wrong#I know I don't want kids or to date anyone with kids- which is hard to avoid too now too b/c everyone seems to already have kids even on HE#I just don't want to be a parent or step parent so please miss me with all that too#My families' new puppies are the most responsibility I want so I don't want to deal with anyone's kids sorry but no#I feel like I have no right to be as particular as I'm being but I don't want what I don't want#questioning#wlw dating#biromantic demisexual but saying bisexual is just easier but is also easy to misunderstand#b/c boy do I hate how fucking hypersexualized bi women are by literally everyone so I don't feel so connected to 'bisexual' any more#b/c most of the time I feel like 'ew leave me alone'#and not just at men any more it seems
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spiraling again
#OOOOH it's just#part of her has just been flat out avoiding telling him; having that conversation with him because she doesn't know where it would go#'you know damn well why i couldn't tell you...it's hard' TERESA PLEASE#and part of her might have honestly assumed he DID know - he's always seemed to know everything about everyone; about her#and if she can assume (pretend) that he knows and he's just not bringing it up then he must not really care all that much#he must be ok with the idea of her leaving and that makes her decision just a little bit easier#that takes the burden of having the conversation off her; she doesn't have to worry about what he'd say#because she can pretend she already knows#(which is just crazy but my girl is going through a lot right now i'm more than ok with giving her all of the benefit of the doubt)#and now she's got to deal with the reality that him not knowing adds a massive wrinkle to any of her planning#if she tells him and he says don't go what does she do with that; what does that mean; how does she respond#and on the other hand if he says go....would he really say that; would he just be ok with letting her go after he just got her back#which possibility is better; which is worse; which way is the one she should take when both are terrifying#i'm going just as crazy as the first time send help#tm
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okay.
i can't hide everything.
mom's not gonna be happy about it. she's definitely gonna scold me.
scared. but.
it's fine.
it's the internet!! there are things that can't be blocked or hide. it's fine.
it's going to be fine. just try not to panic. just don't panic.
you're old enough to handle things. stop crying.
#💧damp paper'd.#things aren't going well for my grades and she's planning to take it away.#listen. i think it was about time anyways. don't blame my parents. i got too addicted.#still. i'm worried about my friends. chair. third. all my followers. my mutuals.#i'm scared that i'm gonna lose them at some point. i.#i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. i just had to get this out somewhere.#i'm scared. i don't wanna lose everyone again. it was hard enough to try and stop clinging to them.#again PLEASE don't assume my parents are bad. they're great and i love them with all my heart. it was bound to happen. trust me.#i'm... okay. i have a great family. i'm fine. just.... slightly panicking.#sorry. sorry. i'm so sorry.#i just don't wanna lose everyone again.#don't reply#maybe i need some reassurance. idk. i'm just scared.
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i do for the most part try not to be like "they're misinterpreting my fave!!!!" but on the other i'm a switch with fandom-invisible sexual leanings (sub top) and i get unnecessarily ummmmmmmmm itchy when people try to say that My Favorite Ship is stringent on sex roles like i'm sorry but. one of them is not The Dom and the other is not The Sub, they hate each other too much for that
#and it's interesting to me that when i HAVE seen it it's cy*** who's Thee Top like ????????#he would not want to be on top 24/7 i'm sorry !!! he CAN !! he'd be great at it !!! but all the time?????? with AR****???????? NO !!!#they both also fuck waaaaaaayyyyyyyy too much to be hardnosed about top and bottom stuff. they wanna keep it interesting.#i don't even think there's a hard dom/sub line between them it's like. whatever they need; whatever the other needs.#idk idk this could absolutely be my own projection stuff coming out lmao i just worry people don't think i know what i'm doing when#it's very deliberate. i don't like to constantly assign 1 role to them bc they both have soooo many facets to explore !!#silver jelly#late night archerblogging#please god don't let anyone find this post who has Something To Say about it amen ok bye
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they should invent a way to ask if you have felt suicidal or have had suicidal thoughts at the doctor when they ask where you'll answer truthfully. i am fine and i always fight the suicidal thoughts but i went to the urgent care the other day and they asked and i said no no nothing like that. but i lied! of course i have! i've been vaguely fantasizing about getting hit by a car the past few days!!! i truly hate suicide for Reasons, it makes me incredibly sad and distressed, and for myself sometimes i don't even realize it's started creeping into my head again (i'm fine i genuinely promise) but like. as much as i hate it, it's there in some of my friends and me and i have to wonder about the fact that "yeah, but doesn't everyone at least a little bit?" isn't the right answer.
#bluebird.txt#i'm like sociologically interested why it's so 'popular' or common for people to joke about killing themselves#again. i fucking hate it. i abhor it. i detest it. but the fact is that is how people talk.#and i wonder how many of those people are truly suicidal and how many have never had to ever worry night after night#if the last time they saw their friend would be the last time. if they went to sleep thinking please let them be at school tomorrow.#please let them text me back.#at least you're still here.#how many people who say 'i'm gonna kill myself!!!' over a stupid insignificant test have actually felt that looming horror#how many of those people have truly felt in their souls that life is not worth living and that no one would notice if they weren't there#tomorrow#i ask genuinely. how many? is it that bad that we're all suicidal? am i right in saying 'doesn't everybody feel like that?'#or are some of you just being dramatic cunts who don't know what the fuck they're saying#or has everyone gone through at least one thing that would make them want to end it and am i just being cruel?#i am a positive person. this is partially bc it is in my nature to be excited abt things but mostly it is on purpose.#every day it is on purpose. it's a habit ive built and sometimes the habit falters. sometimes i don't realize when ive started slipping.#but eventually i always do and it sucks shit and it's hard as fuck and annoying as fuck bc it's so much easier to lay down and never#get up again but i fucking choose to get up because life is meant to be lived and you have to live on purpose in order#for your life to be anything that YOU want it to be rather than living in everyone else's world#you have to live in purpose. i live on purpose. and it annoys me so strongly#that there seem to be (again i could be wrong and arrogant and cruel for assuming this) so many people#for whom it takes very little effort to get up in the morning#people who don't spend like 99% of their time Thinking and Thinking and cancelling out the Bad Thinking on purpose#people for whom life is if not easy bc it's not easy for anybody than who don't have to deal with the fucking baggage some of us have#maybe i'm arrogant. maybe years of being told i'm weird and i still haven't managed to get rid of the instinct to make that gap even bigger#maybe maybe maybe. but also i think maybe some of you should shut the damn fuck up and enjoy what you have. if i can then so can you.
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Toji can't ignore the sounds of your moans and whimpers through the wall. He's sitting on the couch, in the living room, unable to do anything about it, because you're still mad at him, and he's frustrated as hell, because he's so painfully hard, that he can see his dick twitching against the front of his sweats. He refuses to take care of it himself when he knows you're only a room away. To his convenience, you're already in the mood—clearly—but to his inconvenience, you're punishing him. You're scattering his name into your moans to throw salt in the wound, to really make it unbearable, and truthfully, it's getting to him.
Toji reached his limit when he heard you let out a sharp gasp, followed by the sound of those cries you let out when you cum hard. He strides over to your shared bedroom, opening the door to reveal your naked lower body, and your tank top scrunched up over your chest. His breath hitches, the throbbing in his pants intensifying as he rakes his eyes over your frame and absorbs the entire sight of you.
"You're really gonna get yourself off to the thought of me, when i'm right outside?" His incredulous tone doesn't do a good job of hiding the desperation that led him to barge into the room where you're splayed out so indecently.
"Mhm..." you hum, blissfully. You release a heavy, satisfied sigh. "That's exactly what I just did, 'cause you're on a time out," you say, tugging your shirt back down and pulling up your underwear, before sitting up to search for your shorts. "Don't worry. I finished. I'm done torturing you."
He can't let it be over. This normally wouldn't be enough to satisfy you. From what he heard, it seems like you only came once.
"Baby, no," he almost whines. He's outwardly desperate for you, having gone way too long without being allowed to touch you intimately. "Let me. Please," he says, climbing onto the bed. His hands make contact with the skin of your bare legs and glide over the length of your shins, continuing their way up to part your thighs to make room for him to wedge himself between them.
"I did what you asked of me. Said I was sorry and repeated after you to call myself dumb." It was such a silly moment that made the storm in your mind subside for a minute or two.
Toji resists the urge to smile when he sees you suppressing the curl of your own lips. His hands go to your waist, not stopping there. The warmth of his palms travels up your edges, meeting the sides of your breasts and briefly palming the tops of them, in order to get to your shoulders. He grips your shoulders, using them as leverage to guide you back down to the bed. Focus is embedded into his features as he takes the thin material of your shirt between his rough fingertips and peels it off your skin until he reveals the gorgeous view of one of his favorite parts of your body.
Like a domestic cat, he lays his body on you, and plants his face between your breasts. It doesn't take long for him to begin appreciating your chest, pressing multiple slow kisses to your skin. He's basking in the softness you withheld from him.
"What else do you want from me, doll?"
You let out a small, quiet sigh, through your nose. You feel a little irritated with yourself for not even putting up a fight against his affection. You always say you're not going to let him touch you for a certain amount of time, as punishment for the dumb things he does, and yet somehow it always ends up this way—him nuzzling into your chest.
"I want you to stop being a jealous maniac," you say, the words coming out softer than you intended them to, as you welcome defeat and run your fingers through his soft, dark locks.
"Mm-mm, anything but that," he responds, muffled by your warm skin. His hands caress your body, rubbing your waist and massaging your hips in a manner that would induce relaxation under different circumstances. You can't let yourself fall into that comfort until you've talked things out.
"Toji, you flashed your gun at someone who mistook me for somebody else." You attempt to keep yourself composed in order to communicate the issue efficiently. There's no need to raise your voice when you have him right there, lying comfortably on your chest.
"Mhm, I did that," Toji confirms, before planting a soft kiss on the inner side of your right breast. "The dickwad must have been real blind if he had to get so close." He feels your chest rise with a deep inhale, then hears you let out the breath. With that, he knows you're still upset and he has to further elaborate on his actions. "He had his filthy paws on you and everything. I did what I thought was best to get him to fuck off."
You hum in mere acknowledgment. "Uh-huh, that's definitely the way to go about it. God forbid you verbalize your discomfort before threatening to use a bullet."
You feel a warm puff of air on your chest, similar to the sigh you let out, but less audible, and then a kiss directly between your breasts.
"I was right next to you, ma. He was looking at you in a way that he shouldn't have been. He looked at you the same way that I look at you. You don't need that from anyone else. And that stupid ass thing he said about supposedly feeling like he's seen you somewhere? He clearly said it to get a good look at you from up close."
"You really are insane, aren't you?" You ask, rhetorically, stilling the hand that's on the back of his head.
"Doll, I hate the idea of pulling the gun out in front of you. I don't ever wanna have to use it and scare you in the process, but he was actively trying to steal you from me. If he were just ogling you from afar, I might've acted differently, but he touched you. He fucking touched you. Who does shit like that?"
Toji can feel his blood boiling again, so he refocuses on your chest. He doesn't want to think about what happened anymore, when he's in his happy place, where he knows he belongs.
"Alright, Toji. Take a deep breath." You softened your voice to simmer down his emotions. You resumed the movement of your fingers carding through his hair, aiding him in calming down more.
He does as you say and releases a heavy breath. It's riddled with his discontented feelings. "You're supposed to be mine," he mumbles, before finally latching his lips around your nipple.
Toji needs reassurance, too. Him being an attractive, enormous, hulking man, has nothing to do with how secure he feels around you, his lover. It's easy to think that because he manages to turn heads wherever he goes, that he'll be fine when you get those same reactions, but the way you have him now, is proof that insecurity can reach even him. He needs to know that he's not going to lose you so easily, especially to someone as ridiculous as the man who managed to unsettle him.
You look down at him as he takes all the comfort he needs from your chest. "I'm all yours, Toji. You're the only one who will ever get a pass for that kind of psychotic behavior."
He hums, releasing your breast, before resting the side of his face down on your chest. "You make it sound like i'm toxic towards you."
Your chest jumps as you laugh, a gesture that makes Toji lift his gaze to look at you. Your expression managed to make him lighten up a little more.
"You're crazy, but I love you, regardless."
He groans, the sound cushioned by your soft skin. You're the one thing that holds up his sanity, yet somehow you're also the one who tests it by saying things like that to him.
"Let me have you," he says, his kisses beginning to trail up, towards your neck. "Please, let me have you, mama."
"Are you gonna keep threatening people when you get jealous?" You ask, your lips curling as be continues to kiss your delicate skin.
"Mhm," he confirms. "Like I said and you said," he speaks, into your neck, "you're mine. If people don't know it, i'll make sure they get it on the first go. There's no need to make mistakes."
You laugh. "Your possessiveness is intense."
"You're not a joke, to me," he says, looking at you. His expression is as serious as what he just said.
You grab the rolled up fabric of your shirt, with the intention of covering yourself. The ambience has gone more serious and it feels wrong to be so exposed in the moment.
"Don't cover yourself, yet. I want you, baby. Please." His knuckles graze your cheek, affectionately. Despite your chest being out on full display, his attention is centered on your face. He's reading your expression. You were laughing a few seconds ago and now you're as still as him.
"Be nice to me. I don't want you to be rough, this time." It's back to back gentleness with the way your voice reaches him and your smile manages to soothe the remaining sting he's feeling. It's like you're showing him the way you want him to handle you. "I'm yours, Toji. No amount of speed or aggression from your body against mine, will have an impact on the fact. Okay?"
He keeps his eyes on you for a couple more seconds, like he's letting your words sink in and fully envelop him. He repositions his hand, so that he's cupping your cheek, and a couple slow strokes of his thumb against your skin gave him the courage to lean down and kiss you. The second his lips meet yours, he wants more. Infinitely more. He's chasing kiss after kiss from you, utterly drunk on the feeling of your hands pulling him closer by his shirt. He'll consume you, at this point.
"Hm?" You hum, still awaiting his response.
"Got it, baby," he says, before connecting his lips to yours once more. He peppers the rest of your face with kisses, luring giggles from you at the barrage of affection.
This isn't the first time Toji has been revoked of his 'you privileges', and gotten them back, instantly. This has occurred many times in the years that you've been together. Going into a relationship with him, you never thought he'd be the jealous type, much less the type who would threaten someone's life over getting overly cozy with you. The first time he pulled something similar to this, it was a little frightening. You knew he kept a gun on him sometimes, but you figured it was strictly for life or death situations.
You were wrong.
Some weirdo was getting too comfortable with you, hand wrapped around your wrist and all. You clearly remember Toji being visibly bothered, because someone thought they could just swoop in and steal your focus from him. He watched for a minute or two as the man took in your beauty and complimented you on every aspect of your appearance. He really did his best to get you to follow him to his table, and though Toji thought the whole thing was a pathetic attempt, he couldn't help the feelings that began to bubble up as the man squeezed your arm. Toji did a dog whistle to grab the man's attention, and when he looked, he lifted his shirt, just enough to show the grip of his gun. Your stomach twisted and you felt like your heart was going to lurch out of your chest. The stranger just stood there for a second, looking at Toji, condescendingly, as if to insinuate that he knew he was bluffing, and when Toji reached for and grabbed ahold of the gun's handle, that same cocky man paled. He didn't even have to pull out the whole gun—the man had walked away by the time he had the grip in his hand— but you remained worried that he would notify someone about what happened, so you and Toji left.
To this day, Toji still scares people that way when he notices them invading your space in a manner that doesn't sit right with him. You're not scared anymore, when he does it, but the frustration of having to ditch wherever you are, in fear of being ratted out by whoever Toji threatened? It's still there, and you feel it every time. You know he does it out of love for you, but sometimes you wish he would take a second to talk to you, before he even thinks of hurting someone.
Toji has kissed your entire torso, by now. Your chest wasn't exempt from his attention, despite the amount of time he already spent on it. If anything, he refined the love he gave it with purposeful movement and significance towards every spot his lips brushed.
He nears your lower abdomen, wet kisses placed beneath your navel, going lower and lower until you can feel his breath being filtered through the front of your underwear. His hands go beneath the elastic band, cupping your hips without restriction as he kisses your clothed pelvis.
Your breathing picks up the slightest bit when his lips meet your slit through the thin layer. His tongue comes out and he does an experimental swipe of it against the fabric. You feel the space immediately heat up, from your arousal and from the warm wetness of his tongue, itself.
"Stay still for me, mama," he murmurs, kissing your inner thighs after spotting the quiver in them. "You nervous?" He asks, with a small curl of his lips.
"Of course, I am." You look into his eyes as you confirm it. You love him so dearly, that even after the years you've spent together, you still feel lightning coursing through you when he has you this way. This electric feeling doesn't prevent you from letting yourself enjoy what he gives you, nor does it hinder you from touching him and making him feel good. You don't become more hesitant towards him, because by now, you're well aware that your love for him coexists with butterflies. They reside in you, and are able to be lured out by him at any instant, despite your knowledge of the fact that he would gladly be someone's cause of death if they don't keep themselves in check around you.
"Love you," he says, kneading your hips as he leans in to press a few more warm kisses to your thinly veiled cunt. His eyes dart up to your face when you don't respond—he's a little lost on why you didn't say it back— until he sees how despite the way you just admitted to your nerves, he has you entirely at ease. You have a hand flat on the sheets, occasionally moving against the material beneath it, while your other hand rests on your stomach. Your chest is steady and your attention is on the ceiling, your expression serene—ethereally so.
His hands run down your hips, warm palms squeeze and feel up your thighs, gaining your eyes on him again. "You're not gonna say it back?" He asks, his voice deep enough to make the ache between your legs just that much more intense.
"You already know I do," you say, contrasting his demeanor with a giggle. He looks like a needy puppy with that glint that presents itself in his eyes.
"Mhm, doesn't mean I don't wanna hear it, again, or do you not love me, right now?"
You're caught by surprise with that one, a small, almost inaudible gasp, leaving you at the words. "I love you all the time, Toji. I love you now and I loved you earlier when I was pissed. It's not going away."
He's a little more impatient for you, now. His movement doesn't speed up, but his heartbeat is in his ears, and there's a tremble in his hands as he reaches for the elastic of your underwear. He pulls the garment down, wanting to smell and taste you more clearly. His cock jumps at the sight revealed. You're still so wet. He lets out a shuddered breath, now that your lower half is completely bared for him. His mouth comes closer and closer and his tongue comes out, making contact with your throbbing cunt for the first time.
"Toji." The sound is soft—unexaggerated—as his tongue laps at your warmth, tasting the sweet wetness that coats it. He could stay like this for hours, worshipping your entire body, while you touch him and gift him the prettiest sounds ever. He can't get enough of you, which is why when it looks like you're going to close your legs, he pins them down, entirely. His hands splay over your thighs and he keeps them there, because he isn't going to fight to give you the pleasure you deserve. He'll love on you until your body is begging him to stop, because he knows that your mouth can be misleading, at times.
He's taking it slow, just like you wanted him to. The most stimulation comes from him lightly sucking on your clit for brief moments at a time, just to hear your moans get the slightest bit louder. Every time he releases your sensitive pearl, he goes back to running his tongue through your drooling slit, the tip of the muscle nudging your clit, causing it to throb with need. Each graze of the wet warmth, makes you wonder if you should ask him to go faster, though you were the one who asked for this gentleness. You don't want to seem indecisive or come off as doubtful that he can make you cum this way. You know he can, but god, you want so much more. You feel like you're the one who's going insane with every flick of his tongue.
"That good, mama? Or do you want it slower?" He gives you a teasing smirk. Toji knows how you are. You say you want him to be soft and gentle with you, but when the time comes, you want more than what's given to you. You delve into greediness as seconds turn to minutes. You both have nowhere to be. Time is yours, and Toji intends to take advantage of that. He's going to fulfill your needs the way you want him to, but that doesn't mean he loses awareness of your little ticks. He feels the small twitches of your legs beneath his hands every time you feel his nose bump into your clit just before it gets hit by his tongue. He sees the way your hips sink into the mattress and your body quivers when they rise, again.
"G-Good. Don't go any slower," you respond, holding your voice as steady as possible.
"Mm... Faster?" He asks, his tone so calm yet sultry, that you can't tell if he's patronizing you. He doesn't miss the way light flashes, briefly, through your features. In an instant, you regain your composure. A simple hum is offered in response—a wordless brush off of his suggestion. The sound makes Toji smirk. How stubborn of you.
"I won't hold it against you," he says, pressing a kiss to the crease that joins your pelvis and your thigh, leaving an echoing feeling of need in your core. "Just say the word, ma." He presses more kisses to your skin, as if he's trying to persuade you to let him devour you.
"Mm-mm, this is good."
It's not what he's trying to get out of you, but he can keep going until you're hanging on by a measly thread.
He continues on with that same pace—licking, suckling, prodding—so gently, luring the cutest little mewls from you. It took a little longer, but eventually, your body started trembling with impending release.
"I'm gonna- Toji," you cry, tightening your fists around the sheets as he slowly circles his tongue over your clit, focusing on it entirely. Your moans grow needier and needier as you near the edge through such delicateness. The anticipation is killing him. He wants you to be louder. You wouldn't hate him for bringing you more pleasure, would you? It's a risk he's willing to take.
Without another doubt, he's messily making out with your cunt, causing more of your sweet nectar to drool out at a more rapid pace. Your breath hitches, a sharper rendition of his name cried out. Your hand reaches downward and grabs a fistful of his hair, tugging on it as he continues to ravage you. Your moans sound absolutely filthy. He doesn't detach his mouth from you for a single second. His hands finally release their pin on your thighs, allowing you to fully suffocate him when they shut around his head. His arms hook around your thighs, a harsh grip on them to keep you from scooting away from his relentless mouth when you cum. It's another strong, orgasm, that has you arching your back off the mattress and squirming as he continues devouring you through the intense sensation. Your hips roll in an attempt to get more of his mouth on you. Only when you start whimpering and attempting to twist out of his hold, does he ease up. He goes back to the original pace, soft kitten licks through your slit to lap up every drop of your sweetness, earning small twitches from your body, due to the sensitivity you feel.
You release the hold you have on his hair and relax your legs, unbending them and letting them fall comfortably on the bed. He finishes you off with a few kisses, thin strings of his saliva and your cum sticking to his lips, before snapping every time he loses contact with your cunt. His warm palms caress your thighs—a comforting gesture, as your sounds come to a halt and all that is heard is your breathing.
"You're so impatient," you playfully chide, a breathy laugh following.
"You wanted more," he responds, one more kiss placed on you before he licks his lips clean. "I'm really good at reading you."
"Yeah? You think so?" You ask, a teasing grin on your face.
"I know so," he responds. "Wouldn't it just be the worst if we've been together this long, and I didn't know almost everything about you, by now?" He repositions himself, now sitting on his knees to start ridding himself of his own clothes.
You manage a hum and a nod as you watch Toji pull off his shirt.
"Good thing that's not the case, and I do know basically everything about you. Down to the way your body reacts to me— the signals you create that let me know you're gonna cum all over my tongue, when your pretty mouth can't form words."
"So vulgar," you say, through flustered giggles.
"You can take it, mama," he teases, a smirk growing on his lips as you watch him pull off his sweats. His eyes stay on yours, as he kicks them off, letting them slide off the bed and onto the floor, before crawling back between your legs. You can feel his clothed hard-on pressing against your core as he takes your lips in his again. He's addicted to the feeling of your warm body against his.
His hands come down to cup your waist, his fingers molding into the soft flesh with every squeeze they offer. He pauses the make out, small breaths leaving him.
"Baby," he says, his voice almost a whisper, his lustfully darkened eyes narrowed on your starry ones. "I'm gonna kill the next person who hits on you in front of me." He goes back in for a few more quick kisses. "I'm not joking. I can't keep sparing them."
"Shh... All yours, Toji," you murmur, softly, pulling him back in to continue the flow of kisses. Your hand goes to the nape of his neck, the other settles on his shoulder. You hear him groaning quietly into the kisses as he continues grinding his hips into yours.
"Fuck, doll," he groans, pausing his lips on yours once again. "I need you."
You laugh, a warm sound that just adds on to his desire to have you. "So, take me, baby. I'm ready for you."
He gives you one more peck, the slyest smirk playing on his lips as he watches you lean forward for another one, only to be met with nothing.
"Ass," you grumble, playfully shoving his chest.
He chuckles, a deep rumble of a sound as he sits back to remove his boxers. He's not even ashamed of the mess of precum that accumulated in them. If anything, he's surprised he was able to hold in his load this entire time. Pleasantly surprised, because every drop will go to you, as always.
One minute you're sitting up to fully remove your shirt, pulling it up over your head, the next, in what seems like a flash, you're pushed back onto the bed, hands pinned above your head.
You giggle, looking up at him with a lingering smile. "Gentle."
"Mhm," he hums, leaning down to kiss your neck. "So gentle." Two misleading words that don't prepare you for the sensation of his teeth sinking into the crook of your neck.
Your bubbly laughter homes into his ears when his tongue runs over the indentations, luring a huff of a laugh from him.
You feel his cock run through your slick folds, his hips moving back and forth, slowly. Quiet breaths fill the silence that takes over the intimate moment. Toji runs his length through your slit one more time, before finally pushing his tip in. You gasp, feeling his cock begin to drive into you.
"F-Fuck, baby, let me touch you."
"In a minute." He sounds so calm and collected, but you can feel the grip he has on your wrists tighten and the bluntness of his nails pressing into your skin.
"No. Please."
"In a minute," he repeats.
"Pretty please?"
"You're so conflicting, mama. Love that you're begging, but at the same time, you're not listening." His hips draw back and thrust right back into you, his cock filling you up entirely, again.
"Oh fuck. Okay. Please, Toji," you whine.
Toji hums dismissively and picks up a rhythm that manages to get you to stop thinking about your pinned wrists. He lures soft, little moans out of you, listening closely as he plants warm, wet kisses on the side of your face, from your temple to your jaw.
"Just let me be good to you, baby. Alright?"
You hum, nodding your head.
"Yes?"
"Please, yes."
His thrusts become even more precise as he focuses on bringing pleasure to both of you, deep groans and grunts blending together with your higher pitched moans. A few minutes pass and you feel the pressure on your arms ease up, your hands free to roam without restriction. The first thing you do is cup his jaw and bring him in for breathy kisses. You keep your hands on his face and he lets you turn his head in every which way to cover him with kisses. Your affection is intoxicating, and he can't get enough of it. He lets out a breathy laugh when you practically have a make out session with the scar on his lips, your melodic sounds of pleasure released against the strike as he continues to fuck into you. The last kiss you leave on the cicatrix is a big one. One that makes the obnoxious kissy sound and everything. He swipes his tongue over his scar, as if he's trying to catch remnants of the sugar you coated it with.
"Love you," you say, eyes darting over his handsome features and the lovestruck expression they create. You feel the way his hips stutter against you, his abs tensing with restraint before he recomposes himself. You glide your hands up and down his arms and repeat yourself for him. "Love you so much, Toji. I'm yours."
"Fuck— I fucking love you. You're all mine. My baby." He mutters more inaudible curses under his breath, his grip on your waist getting harsher and his thrusts growing quicker, with every sweet confirmation you offer. You whimper, nails digging into his biceps as you withstand the feeling of his cock relentlessly brushing that spot within you that makes you melt beneath him.
"Oh fuck, i'm close." He groans, feeling the way your walls spasm around him at the words. "Yeahhh, you want it, huh, baby? Want my cum?"
A shaky breath leaves you, your face observed up close and personal by Toji, through lust-brimmed, enamored, obsessed eyes. You squirm under all of him— his zoned in attention on you, his touch, his hot, tacky skin, his cock buried inside you—dragging in and out of your soft walls, in a manner that has your toes curling to the brink of actual pain. His fingers find your clit and rub it in rapid circular motions, causing your body to jolt at the sudden intensity of the enhanced pleasure.
You look up at him with your sparkling eyes. "Please... P-Please, Toji? I want it. Want you," you utter, as he brings you closer to your own orgasm.
"Fuck, okay. Okay, baby, gonna give it all to you." His hips pick up their pace a little more and he buries his face into your neck. You can hear the string of grunts and shuddered breaths that pair with his unraveling, right beneath your ear. Deep moans and pants flow past his lips, and his nails begin to leave crescent shapes on your sides. You feel his hot breath on your neck, the open mouthed puffs of air accompanied by the lewd sounds of him filling you with his warm, creamy cum. As he continues rutting into you, riding out every second of his orgasm and then some to get every last drop of his cum into you, he bites your delicate skin, the placement only a few centimeters above where he bit you the first time. He stays there for a few seconds, breathing heavily through his mouth and nose, before he loosens his bite, the gesture transitioning to sloppy kisses over the wet, saliva-coated indentations.
"Cum, doll," Toji mutters, feeling the way your cunt flutters around him when his fingers relocate your throbbing bundle of nerves. Your head sinks back into the pillow, allowing him to drag his kisses up the column of your neck, to feel the vibration of your sounds beneath his lips. Your nails go to his shoulders, dragging across the toned area of muscles, surely leaving behind some scratches. You cry out in utter bliss, your force of an orgasm echoing through your entire being. "There you go, mama," Toji purrs, in response to your body releasing the tension that came with the intensity of your pleasure. You tremble, your small, rapid whimpers and breaths evolving into full blown, unholy moans. "So, so pretty," he drawls out, engraving yet another one of your euphoric expressions into his memory. His fingers leave your clit, and his hips slow down to the point of merely grinding into you, to lure those final little whines out, before stilling entirely.
You shut your eyes to focus on calming your heaving chest for a few seconds, and when you open them again, you have the prettiest pair of green eyes staring down at you. You give Toji a lazy smile and a laugh, a sight that makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. His heart races as he absorbs the visuals of your post-orgasm haze. Your luminous eyes devour him, that little satisfied smirk on your face is everything— god, he loves that you laugh even more at the way he can't stop staring at you.
Just like that, Toji is reminded of what got this sight revoked from him in the first place. He still doesn't feel like he's in the wrong for wanting to murder anyone who has far from just friendly intentions with you, but as you caress his face and hold his gaze with that tender look in your eyes, his desire to kill those who openly lust after you, becomes entirely justified in his mind. He's lost all reason to hold back. There's no longer any part of him that would feel remorse or guilt, even if you can't look him in the eyes for days after the matter. He'll grovel as much as he has to, to get you to give him your eyes, again. You'll just have to agree to disagree on this, because yes, you come home to him, you sleep in the same bed as him, you kiss and hold him, the body concealed by your clothes is a secret between you and him, you get tangled up in sheets with him and the lot of it— but he can't risk losing you to someone who's possibly better than him and searching for all the exact things you have to offer. You're for him, as he is for you.
Toji doesn't care how clingy he appears when you finish getting cleaned up and ready for bed. You carelessly toss yourself onto the mattress and pull the blanket over your body while you wait for Toji, who took the steps and walked around the bed to make it to his side. He finds your body beneath the covers and immediately rolls on top of you, adhering himself to you, again. His head rests on your chest, his arms wrapped tight around your body.
You're already prepared to give him the intimate aftercare that comes with days like this. You don't mind that he's heavy and that he's crushing you or that he's taking up all your space, again, after having been so close to you a little while ago. You'll do this as many times as you need to for him to understand that he's wanted and loved by you.
You press a kiss to the top of his head, and murmur a quiet 'love you'. Your fingers run through his damp hair, your nails gently scratching the back of his head, while your other hand rubs his back. You feel the extra warm skin of his shoulders, where you paid no mind to the pressure your nails applied on it, earlier.
"Does that hurt?" You ask, lightly tracing a couple of the mildly inflamed lines. He hums in denial, but you let up, anyway, and continue to just rub his back.
He groans quietly at your soothing touch, nuzzling further into you. "I'm yours, too, ma. All yours," he mumbles. "I don't want anyone else and I don't wanna see you with anyone else."
You smile softly at his admission. "You're more than enough for me, Toji. There's no one I want more than you— no, there's no one I want other than you," you correct. "You know how much I love you?"
"Mm... How much?" He asks, waiting for you to give him a number or even just an elongated 'so much', but instead, you surprise him with:
"I wouldn't be able to tell you."
He chuckles. "Really?"
"Yeah, really. If you want something accurate, I'll never shut up."
"Good thing I like when you talk my ear off. You wanna give me an inaccurate idea of how much?"
You hum like you're in thought, a giggle following when he pinches your waist, encouraging you to tell him. "I love you a lot, Toji. So much more than I will ever be able to say or show. We would have to conjoin our minds for you to understand exactly how much I love you, but even then, once our minds separate, your estimate will be entirely off again."
He lifts his head off your chest, and waits for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. The moonlight seeping through the spaces between the curtains is the only source of light that allows him to get a mediocre view of you. "That's inaccurate?" He asks, looking at you with clear disbelief when his eyes finally adjust. You nod, smiling through the warmth that spread on your cheeks. "Now, I wanna know how much you love me, with complete accuracy. I have all the time in the world to listen to you, baby. Just keep talking to me." He presses a kiss to your cheek before lying back down on your chest and wrapping his arms around you, again.
You hugged him as tight as you could for a few seconds. The sound of you straining yourself made him laugh, because not only did he not let out a single groan, but you tired yourself out even more. You rested your arms on his back and just shut your eyes. It was the warmth and weight of his body on you, the feeling of his arms keeping you firmly against him, the security, that managed to lull you to sleep. Toji dozing off was simpler than that, because all he needs to be able to sleep soundly, is for you to be around.
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