#please don't traumatize sam he is so chill...

[shart-factory]

"...then erupted in a spray of blood that swept across the floor, with a single drop landing on my new velcro shoes."

[golbrocklovely]

everyone deals with traumatic events differently, maybe Colby chose to keep working for the purpose of keeping busy and to take his mind off this terrible thing that he was going through. It's a very human coping mechanism.

I say this because this is my escape mechanism for some medical things that I have gone through similar to Colbys, the doctors even encouraged me to keep busy and to try and continue doing things like work and tbh if I hadn't I think I would have given up or lost myself to the darkness.

So taking a break is all well and good but it might not have been what he needed at the time for his mental sanity (we already know in one moment of quiet where he was not keeping busy he messed around with the bald filter on his phone which is a hint that quiet doing nothing time allowed the thoughts to seep in, because they do seep in anytime your not finding some way to keep busy when going through that), so please don't be mad at him for not taking one when he was going through it all.

By the sounds of it from the podcast now the stressful thing has passed and he has the all clear they are planning some kind of holiday in November, hopefully it will be a long one because I do agree Colby especially needs a break. I also agree that he needs to talk to a professional now as well and maybe he does but we don't know about it, I mean it took ages for Sam to confess to seeing someone as it's a very private thing and not everyone feels comfortable saying they see a therapist especially if they are under the publics eye.

i'm not mad that he didn't take a break. if it's coming across like that, that's not my intention. if anything it's heartbreak for him, maybe frustration at the most. i agree with you that he probably had to work thru the diagnosis and chemo bc otherwise it would have gotten bad for him mentally. that's for sure. and i get why he did it, bc at the end of the day he's a work horse. both him and sam don't know how to take an actual break, with absolutely no working whatsoever. i mean even posting for us or anything. they don't know how to do that.

my issue is that it seemed like, to me, that he needed a break way before even finding out he had cancer. last year wasn't exactly a great time for him. he seemed really upset for a while, even talked about not really liking himself/his appearance. it seemed like, to me, his summer was kinda spent feeling this way. along with everything else that went on last year, i just think the last half of the year he seemed off.

then on xplrclub, they did a final podcast at the tail end of december and he talked about his vacation by himself for three days in hawaii - one of them being christmas itself - and that was the most enthused i've seen him in a while. he seemed so happy to take a break. he even joked about looking at real estate in hawaii. and sam…. talked about wanting to jump back into working, but knew nothing would happen until after new years since ppl don't start working until then. and colby, to me, did not seem happy to get back into things. he didn't seem upset, but you could just tell he probably wanted more time to chill out. they talked about how much work they had last year and how they weren't sure how to top that (as if any of us really needed them to do that, but that's besides the point). and colby has mentioned on more than one occasion about getting overwhelmed and stressed out over the workload they set for themselves.

all of this is to say, that while i get why he worked during the entire cancer process, chemo included, it clearly didn't help him in the long run. bc he never got to work thru what having cancer even truly meant. he literally lost a body part and went thru something traumatic and did not process any of it. i get preoccupying yourself, but that doesn't mean you force yourself to not realize what you're going thru. that's no better. i mean, he said it himself that he doesn't even think he's come to terms with the fact he had cancer and that he lost a part of himself. and that he's gonna have to deal with that for the rest of his life. he himself said that almost verbatim on xplrclub. again, i get not wanting to lose yourself to the darkness, but you can't ignore it either. it's still gonna be there whether you turn your back to it or not.

that's why i feel like after he knew he was cancer free, instead of headfirst diving into work again like nothing happened (after a week of binge drinking in japan), he should have took time to really heal or actually take a break. bc it seems like once he had an ounce of time to think about all he's been thru, it was too much for him. and forcing yourself to work instead of facing your problems is not the best strategy, i'm sorry. not only that, he pointed out (based on what he said in an extended version of the 'i have cancer' video he put on xplrclub) that one of the reasons he went back into work during chemo was bc he felt like so many ppl relied on him to get better and jump back into things like nothing changed. obviously he worked bc he wanted to, but i think he also thought he couldn't take a break or shouldn't, at the very least. and that's just not healthy. it was funny back in the day for snc to joke about not having a work/life balance, but that's not the case anymore. the fact they don't have personal lives as much as they should have is concerning, not cute.

and again none of this is meant to be me saying colby's dumb or stupid for his decisions. i'm not saying that at all and i don't feel that way either. i get why he chose what he did. i just wish he understood that taking a break is also a valid, and really necessary, choice that he should make. sam included. they both went thru hell and i don't think they've realized it bc they force a smile and keep pushing on. you can only say 'it is what it is' so many times.

and as for the therapy, i truly hope he is seeking something out. whether it's with a professional or even in a group setting. just something. and i get him not wanting to tell us if that is the case. totally understandable, i don't fault him if he is seeking treatment but isn't saying anything to us. i don't personally think he is just bc he hasn't even alluded to it and he has always talked so positively about mental health and seeking treatment when you need it, that i find it a bit strange for him to not mention it if he was. but again, it's his choice and if he wants to tell us, cool. and if not, also cool.

[obscureoperations]

hi! could you please share some of your headcanons about martin meeting his s/o's family/friends? not in an event kind of way, but in a way that his s/o is just chilling with their friends/family and martin suddenly got sucked into the situation. i would be thankful for any thoughts you have!

I don't think Martin would have too many issues when meeting his partner's family or friends. As long as it was in an informal situation like you suggested--anything more might cause a bit of unnecessary stress. For some reason I believe Martin probably has at least some form of social anxiety. Nothing debilitating or severe, but it's just enough to cause him some strife. If he were to meet the people his s/o was close to, he might be a bit self conscious. He didn't want to give off the wrong impression--or leave them questioning if he was a suitable fit. He didn't want to embarrass you, he feared they'd label him as weird. He was so used to being instantly categorized as an outcast-- he couldn't bear it if they viewed him the same way.

Meeting your friends would probably be a bit easier for him than meeting your family. You spoke about your close friends all the time-they seemed to be a lot like you. "I was talkin' to Sam the other day..we were at the arcade--you wouldn't believe what she said!" " Dave is such a dork, look at this freaky article he sent me! He said it'd be right up your alley!"

You spoke a lot about him to both your family and friends--he often wondered what exactly you said. From the sounds of it, most of your friends already seemed to include him, despite having never actually met. Martin wasn't too sure how he felt about that.

Your Family on the other hand, that was a different story. The majority of them still lived in (your home state) You were really close to your mom and dad, he managed to speak with your mom just once. Completely by accident, you were on speaker phone and he was just getting home from work. "Hey mom, guess who just walked into the door?!" "Who!"

"The boy wonder himself!" He shot you a questioning glance.

"Martin!?" The woman practically squealed, Martin nearly dropped his bags.

His eyes grew wide as he mouthed an apology.

"Go on then.. say hello! You're on speaker..."

He wanted to be sick.

"Hi sweetie!"

He stood silent for a moment, mouth gaping like a fish. He clears his throat.

"Um.. H-hi Mrs.. y/l/n"

~

Martin meeting your Family and Friends Head cannons

Your friends were an interesting bunch, it took months for him finally meet them all. They all had different schedules, worked at so many random jobs. They were all so different but yet the same. Same in the sense that they seemed to be genuine people who all had your best interest at heart. They were all so-- laid back. Welcoming in a way that was completely disarming, despite all seeming to follow different walks of life.

You had Rachel, fresh out of college with a law degree under her belt. According you you, she was more like a sister than a friend--She was one of the first of your friends that he actually met, she came home one weekend for for your birthday. She was really sweet.

Dave, he lived just the next town over, he owned the only comic book shop in town. The two of you had known each other since grade school, He was like a cloned red headed version of you.He was one of your friends that he seemed really drawn to, the two of them shared the same somewhat traumatic Catholic background. It was always a riot to watch him barge into Cuda's shop. Flirting with both the old women and younger men alike. What would it be like not to care what anyone was thinking?

Tommy, he was one that seemed to have to warm up to him a bit--he guarded you like a protective older brother. He was older than the both of you, about eight years or so--He and his family now lived in Maryland. He was your former boss at the Skate rink, you labeled him your second dad...which Tommy always seemed to hate. He claimed it made him feel old. It wasn't until three or so months in ( close to the time Cuda tried to exorcise him) That the man began to warm up to him.

Apparently you had called your friend as Martin held up in your bedroom-- you seriously contemplated dragging the old man down the street. He talked you down, calmly asked to speak to Martin and the rest was history. He was the one who finally convinced you to try and get the both of you away from the city. "You guys need a place of your own.. Ican help, but you guys really have to wanna leave."

Meeting your family was a different albeit. still a stressful time. The few times Martin spoke with your mother over the phone was pale in comparison to the real deal. Your parents were coming down for the weekend and wanted to meet him whenever he came home from work. No big deal, nothing formal. They just finally wanted to put a face to a name.

He spent the entire day stressing over the idea despite knowing they were mostly there to see you. He didn't want to seem underwhelming--he had no idea what they would expect. You seemed to gas him up in so many ways--at times he doubted the sincerity of your praise. "He's perfect for me Ma. No-- he's really sweet! He's so cute! You gotta see him!"

Casually seated in front of the television as he quietly slips through the back door. They looked like the picturesque couple from a magazine. Hand in hand on the couch, laughing together as they flip through the t v guide. Martin really didn't know if he could do this.

Before he had any time to think your dad noticed him standing in the doorframe. Hands shoved deeply into his pockets, nearly trembling. He quickly sets down his can of coke. "Martin? Get in here man.. pizzas on the way!"