#please don't respond to this telling me my grandmother is awful or anything

[empressofthesunwriter]

Retribution

Umeko's life revolves around three important things: her grandmother, her cat Ima, and avenging her father's murder. Forming lifelong bonds and even battling gods was never part of the plan, nor was falling in love.

Kamoshida Part 3

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT!

COMMENTS KEEP ME GOING AND MAKE ME WRITE, THEY ARE MY LIFE BLOOD AND MY PAYMENT FOR WRITING FANFICTION!

(*)

Umeko frowned as she stared at the group chat with Ren and Ryuji. Ryuji still wouldn’t give up on talking to people and was now dragging Ann and Shiho into it.

Carefully, she hid her smartphone under the table as she typed out her response.

Umeko: Okay, first of all, Ann doesn’t have anything going on with Kamoshida. Those are just nasty rumours. Also, I doubt that Shiho will say anything. We should meet up at lunch in the courtyard, and I’ll tell you what we will do. I promised you this yesterday, remember? Change of heart?

Her phone blew up with messages, mostly from Ryuji asking why she was being so cryptic. Umeko replied that they would see.

(*)

Finally, it was lunchtime, and Umeko met up with the boys in the courtyard. She noticed Ryuji angrily punching a vending machine.

"Let me guess, your conversation with the volleyball team didn't go well," she said rhetorically.

The blond just grumbled in response.

"Okay, guys, it's time for a lesson in Phantom Thievery," Umeko began. She tried to explain, using simple and basic words, how Palaces manifest, why they exist, and how they have a core that serves as the foundation of it all: the twisted desire of the Palace ruler, the treasure, so to speak.

"Now, how do you create a change of heart? It’s simple. You steal the twisted desire, the core of the world. Without it, the person becomes good again and, in every case, cannot live with their crimes and will confess on their own."

"F-For real?" Ryuji shouted, astonished. "Just like that?"

Umeko nodded. "Papa and I have made a few changes of hearts, and it has always worked."

Ren crossed his arms thoughtfully. "But how does one steal twisted desires?"

"We send a calling card," Umeko explained. "We write something about how we will come for the twisted desire and force them to confess all their crimes. The core should then take the form of the object that caused the person to become evil in the first place. Once we take it, the Palace vanishes, and poof, we have a confessing villain."

"That sounds too good to be true," Ren mumbled.

Before Umeko could elaborate further, a voice yelled formally, "Because it is! It's not that simple!"

The three teenagers looked surprised at the black cat that had jumped between them.  

"Did that cat just talk?!", Umeko wondered, baffled.

"I finally found you guys!", the cat yelled again. "How dare you leave me at Kamoshida’s Palace after I helped you?!"

"You guys are hearing this too?", Ryuji asked, unsure.

The other two nodded.

"Is that the cat who helped you in the castle? Now he really looks like a cat and not a chibi," Umeko said, a bit in awe.

She had never seen anything like this.

"I'm NOT a cat!", the cat hissed. "And my name is Morgana!"

"But why do you look like one?", Ryuji asked.

"How should I know?!" Morgana shot back.

"Okay, okay, how you came to the real world is more important. But I doubt you have a phone with the Meta-Vers-Nav.," Umeko guessed.

Morgana responded formally arrogant: "When you reach my level, you don't need it."

That explanation didn't clarify anything.

Just then, they heard a teacher and a student searching for Morgana.

It was clear they needed to talk somewhere more private.

Ryuji picked up the cat, and Morgana was tucked into Ren's bag.

Once they reached the rooftop, they literally let the cat out of the bag.

"Don't be so rough with me!", howled Morgana.

"Sorry Morgana, now why did you interrupt me before?", asked Umeko with crossed arms.

Morgana stared at her with his pretty blue eyes.

"You were gonna tell them if we mess this up, with stealing Kamoshida's treasure, he will die?"

"Die?!", shouted Ryuji shocked.

"I don't wanna kill somebody.", mumbled Ren.

"Me too, dude."

Annoyed Umeko turned to them.

"He will not die, I promise. I did this enough times to know what to do. Okay, Papa was with me, but I know the process well enough. I am a born Phantom Thief, it's in my blood, you just have to trust me.", told Umeko passionately.

It would make for a dramatic scene in a movie, with the wind twirling around her, and her standing upright and proud if the three males didn't stare at her, dumbfounded.

Umeko sweatdropped.

Then she groans.

"Alright, I see you two have to think this through. Tell me tomorrow your decision. Because with or without you, I will begin infiltrating Kamoshida Palace to find his treasure and then send a calling card."

Saying what she had to say, she left the rooftop, ignoring the slight pain of rejection in her heart.

(*)

The next day at school, there was something in the air.

Call it her Phantom-Thief Instinct, but Umeko felt that something terrible was about to happen.

She craved a cigarette to calm her nerves, but instead, she had to get through Ushimaru-sensei's lesson.

Nervously, she played with her pen and suddenly noticed Morgana popping up from underneath Ren's desk.

"Have you made up your mind?" whispered the cat. "No matter how much you think about it, there’s only one option. You’d be better off just listening to me."

Umeko wondered if the cat had tried to convince the boys to do the change of heart after she left.

It certainly seemed that way.

Ren hushed Morgana, but Ushimaru had already overheard him and wondered if the rumoured cat was truly present.

Everything suddenly went wrong.

One of the male students noticed someone on the rooftop, and a female student screamed that someone was about to jump.

Like everyone else, Umeko jumped from her seat and rushed to the windows to look outside.

Oh no.

OH NO!

It was Shiho!

She really jumped!

Everyone screamed, but nobody was as loud as Ann.

The blond beauty didn’t hesitate; she dashed out to the courtyard where Shiho had landed.

Ren and Umeko followed closely behind her.

Tears welled up in Umeko's eyes.

Not Shiho!

Not the good, kind, and always-smiling Shiho!

Why?

Why would she do this?

A deep pain burned in Umeko’s heart.

If she felt this way, Ann must be feeling even worse.

Umeko and Ren met Ryuji halfway, and together, they sprinted toward the courtyard.

An ambulance had already arrived, loading the critically injured but still alive Shiho onto a stretcher.

Ann knelt beside her, crying uncontrollably.

Umeko could only cover her mouth with her hands, struggling to hold back her own tears, while Ryuji shouted at the crowd of people taking videos and photos.

With her last force, Shiho whispered something to Ann. Umeko didn't hear what but heard clearly how Ann gasped Kamoshida.

Kamoshida...?

No, a terrible feeling takes place in Umeko's body.

The ambulance drives off with a fainted Shiho and a crying Ann.

The terrible feeling turned into a hot rage!

Like she was furry herself Umeko raced up to the PE faculty office on the second floor.

She didn't waste any time and stormed in.

"You bastard! You raped her didn't you?!", she yelled.

Ren and Ryuji enter behind her with Mishima.

Calmy Kamoshida turned in his desk chair to look at the four.

"What are you talking about?", he said calmly.

Ryuji kicks a chair over in rage.

"Don't play dumb with us?!"

"You fucking disgusting piece of shit rapist!", added Umeko, ready to throw hands, but felt how an arm wrapped around her middle.

She looked up.

Ren held her in place and shook his head.

"Don't give him a reason.", he told her.

"That is enough!", declared Kamoshida and wanted to shoo them out, when Mishima broke down.

He finally admitted to the physical abuse.

But Kamoshida had all the cards in his hand it seemed.

They had already got a call from the hospital, Shiho was in a coma, and she couldn't testify against him.

Then this disgusting excuse of a human being told the four they would be all expelled, he would bring it up at the next board meeting.

Now Ryuji wanted to attack him, but again Ren stopped it.

How he could hold her and Ryuji in one place was impressive.

"You still fear for his life?!", she hissed at them. "Or are you ready to take him down!"

She saw in the two boys' eyes how they were now on her side.

(*)

After they left, under Kamoshida's sickling laugh, the PE office the three were back in the little courtyard with the vending machine.

Morgana was already waiting for them.

"So I guess the guys made up their mind?", asked the cat.

"I have. Someone almost died because of him! I don’t give a rat’s ass what happens to him anymore!", growled Ryuji.

"And you?"

Ren agreed with Ryuji.

So Morgana turnend to Umeko.

"I explained to them yesterday anything about the change of heart, but you said you have done already a few. You should lead us in this operation."

"Don't worry I will. We first need to find the treasure and mark an infiltration route. This done, we send the calling card and steal the treasure, but we only have a time limit of one day. Calling cards have only so long an effect on persons. So we better be prepared for anything and sure when we do it.", explained Umeko.

Ryuji made a fist.

"Hell yeah, so shall we go after school?"

"The earlier the better.", agreed Umeko. "Palaces can be full of traps and we only have time till the next board meeting. It could take us days to map out the castle."

This was understandable, so the three humans and a cat met up at the little alleyway after school ended and entered the Meta-Vers.

Before Umeko, now Bonnie, could start with her next lesson in Phantom Thievery, they noted how they had another guest with them.

Ann had followed them and demanded help against Kamoshida.

(Even if she was totally confused why all had changed clothes and the school was now a castle.)

Bonnie made a face as Ren and Ryuji brought her back into reality. She understood Ann, but without a Persona she couldn't help them.

After the boys with her help and Morgana choose their codenames, since what is a Phantom Thief without a secret identity, the inflatration could begin.

Well almost.

"Here.", said Bonnie and handed Joker, Skull and Mona, a little personal bag. "I prepared them just in case."

"Oh what's inside?", asked Mona curious.

"Medicine for TP and SP, some lockpicks, a few smoke bombs, if we have to make a quick exit and a little device you can put on your wrist and have so a Grappling Hook."

"Wow, you thought about anything!"

"Awesome thanks, Bonnie!", grinned Skull.

Joker gave her a little smile.

"That was really thoughtful of you."

"I can't have you dying on me.", she joked, before she opened her bag where the weapons were. "Feel free to pick something. My Papa liked to collect different weapons, I am sure you will find something to your liking."

Indeed the three guys found weapons that suited them and again thanked her.

Then the four face the Palace.

"Okay, guys, let's go!"

(*)

The awakening of a Persona was always a spectacle.

Carmen, the fiery and legendary temptress from the opera, suited Ann well.

It may have been reckless for Ann to return to the castle alone, but they needed a fifth Persona user like her.

More manpower was always beneficial.

Since Ann had just awakened her powers, it was best for them to retire for the day.

They stopped at the station to grab a drink and discuss their next steps. Ann was determined to make Kamoshida confess his crimes—both for Shiho and for everyone who had suffered under him.

The others welcomed her with open arms, and they exchanged contact information.

Ren got the honour of keeping Morgana with him.

Tomorrow, they would truly infiltrate the Palace.

Umeko still had enough supplies to create a bag for Ann and a whip that would surely suit her.

With this out of the way, they said goodbye for now to each other and everyone took their train home.

(*)

It was nighttime, and Umeko could finally smoke.

Her cat sat on her lap, enjoying the pats, while she exhaled smoke out of the window.

Umeko wondered what her father would say about how she had found four other Persona Users.

He would probably be worried.

They were, without a doubt, the next generation destined to save the world.

Her father and his team had taken down a demon.

Would they end up fist-fighting a god?

She hated that she couldn’t ask him!

Why did he have to die?

Tears streamed down her face, which she wiped away aggressively. Before they took Kamoshida’s treasure, she wanted to squeeze any information out of him about the Black Mask.

Any little lead could help her with her quest for revenge.

Sighing, she stubbed out her cigarette and looked up at the night sky. There was also the lingering problem with the Velvet Room; she hadn’t heard anything from Igor or Lavanza, and Ren hadn’t opened a new door to that mystical place.

Something wasn’t right, but what could Umeko do for now?

Her focus had to be on taking down Kamoshida and avoiding expulsion. She would worry about the other issues later.

Yawning, she picked up Ima, and both cat and owner fell asleep in Umeko’s cosy bed.

(*)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT!

COMMENTS KEEP ME GOING AND MAKE ME WRITE, THEY ARE MY LIFE BLOOD AND MY PAYMENT FOR WRITING FANFICTION!

[palpablenotion]

my uncle might have had another stroke and so he’s currently at the hospital (but apparently he’s alert and talking and mad my grandma is there)

some of you know the issues i’ve been having. it goes all the way back to mid summer. possibly longer. i was sick for a really long time, had a summer cold and couldn’t shake it. i found out i have an enlarged heart which my doctor just immediately blamed on my weight when it makes much more sense to credit it to my generally untreated anemia (which is now being treated).

i may or may not have had a pneumonia at this time and so could only help so much when my mother moved back in with us (and she and my father are still separated so that’s awkward af sometimes) and i had worked myself to very terrible lengths leading up to this to clean tf out of my house prior to mom moving in.

september is sort of a blur, but october 2nd my grandmother fell. i spent about a week taking care of my uncle before leaving to see my niece for her first birthday. staying there taking care of my uncle was so stressful that i got rashes on my legs and arms

i didn’t even get a week home before my grandmother was released from the hospital and i stayed with her for about a month, getting more and more stressed, sick, and just run down every single day. so why do it? because literally no one else would. i’m the only one available and so despite being sick, mentally ill, in pain, and a flare up of my major depressive disorder, apparently i’m the only fucking option

in that month, i was so stressed that i had daily, constant splitting/stabbing headaches, was essentially permanently light and sound sensitive, dangerously sleep deprived (did i mention that i was woken up everyday at seven am, not able to ever go back to sleep, and if i tried going to be even at ten pm, my grandmother would guilt me into staying up another hour?)

halfway through that month, btw, my dad and i got into a car accident. we were rear ended hard enough to force us to loose control of teh car and end up in oncoming traffic, which we luckily avoided, and the guy who hit us took off. it increaded my issues with cars ad specifically driving, and now i’m having a LOT more intrusive thoughts than before. my dad injured his back and neck. he’s still in pain.

i more or less take care of my dad, so it was even harder going back to grandma’s for a couple weeks while my dad was home dealing with this

i got home and things were stressful here too, for a few reasons - the holidays are always hard, and some of you know that i haven’t been to church since like august? which is even harder because it’s a big support system for me

i was just finally healing - the rashes on my hands are minimal now, still there but each is only about the size of a quarter rather than being too big for a bandaid to cover/essentially coving the entirety of the back of my hand

i’m sleeping more, i’ve taken my meds every day in 2018, my depression seems to be lifting at least a bit, i’ve even joined a reverse bigbang

and then my uncle had to be rushed to the hospital and my grandmother is expecting me to stay a few nights

i have to do it but oh god i can’t, i cried earlier, i just want to rest, i do things for her every single saturday, and often at least one day during the week, and that itself is exhausting, it’s so draining that i still haven’t been back to church because i spend sunday resting

i’m so very tired, y’all. i’m exhausted and everytime something else comes up with me she needs something else. i just had to make an emergency dentist appointment on wednesday because i was in so much pain i was crying and i wanted to just scream. remember how i have chronic pain? i have a fucking high pain tolerance. the dental hygienist was astounded at what i was enduring and i was in so much pain they gave me nearly a dozen shots before it was effective.

they couldn’t do anything but give me shots and do a cleaning, because they don’t take my insurance (medicaid) but they were able to give me some relief and a script for some pain relievers stronger than over the counter. i still need extensive dental work/surgery.

i feel better than wednesday morning, but better doesn’t mean i’m not in constant pain.i’m laying down right now with an ice pack under my jaw. (interestingly enough, the only relief i could get prior to the dentist was biting down on ice with the tooth that was in pain. my hygenist believed it was because i was increasing the pain so much that i couldn’t process it any longer)

i don’t feel like i’m up to going out there and dealing with her drama. she’s mostly lonely and she says she won’t “work [me] too hard” which means i’ll be constantly, constantly doing small tasks basically every hour of the day. i’ll probably have to do laundry, put away the dishes (she has a dish washer), she’ll probably want me to sort through her food to make sure it’s still good, probably make dinner, and probably some inane bullshit like putting up all her photos that were taken down before christmas, and it all seems like so much

i’m lucky to really get one thing done right now. yesterday i did the dishes and was so proud of myself.

i just hate this. i love my grandmother, i love her so much. but i just hate this. i will have zero privacy, it will be way too hot (she seems to like it at 80 degress F while i sometimes find 72 to be warm)

if you pray, please pray for me. if you don’t, send me good vibes. i feel like crying again, i don’t want to do this even a little and it’s going to be so fucking hard, especially since she’s going to put her emotional baggage on me and i just can’t handle that.

[rachaelswrites]

Green Light, Red Light

Spencer Reid x daughter!reader

Based on Criminal Minds Season 12 Episodes 21 and 22 “Green Light” and “Red Light”

Word Count: 1,796

Warnings: kidnapping, gun violence

A/n: Part of the Episode series (also was a request)

You were used to seeing Cassie in the mornings, but today she wasn’t there. There was another girl, but she looked too young to be a nurse. 

“Where’s Cassie?” you asked. Your gut told you something was wrong and your dad always said to trust your gut. 

“Cassie isn’t here today,” the nurse said, “I’m Carol,” she stuck her hand out for you to shake but you declined. 

“I’m sorry about her. She’s so much like her father,” Diana said, resting her hand on your shoulder. 

Carol bent down in front of you, “Speaking of your dad, I’m taking you two to visit him today. Would you like that?” she was talking to you like a child. You were technically a child, being only twelve but you were a lot smarter than kids your age. 

You shook your head, “No. JJ or Emily always take me.” 

“Don’t be silly Y/n,” Diana said, “Let’s go see Spencer.” 

You had no choice but to comply. Maybe this could be your way to warn your dad about what was happening. On the bus ride to the prison you sat in between Carol and your grandmother. 

“Come on Y/n, smile a little. We’re seeing your dad today,” Carol was trying to get you to trust her, but you were too smart. 

“I don’t care,” you moved seats away from her, “I don’t like you,” you said under your breath. The lady you were now sitting next to you heard what you said and laughed a little. 

You noticed as you were walking down the hallways to the visiting room, Carol acting strange. She would walk on different sides of the hallways and look down at certain times. You knew there was something up. 

You got to visit Spencer first. You were sitting in a chair and your dad was pushed inside. He didn’t look like himself, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, “Dad!” you reached out to hug him but he stopped you. 

“We can’t touch,” he nodded over to the guard watching you two, “I’m sorry,” he sat down on the chair across from you, “What’s wrong? You look upset?”

“I mean my dad is in prison so, sorry if I’m upset about that.” 

“Besides that. Tell me if I can do anything.”

You sighed, “I don't know. Something just feels off about the nurse.”

Spencer raised his eyebrows, “I thought you liked her?”

“I’ve never met her before dad.”

Spencer leaned forward towards you. He had done some reading about kids acting up when something happened with their parents but this was something else, “Stop messing around Y/n,” he said seriously, “If something's going on, tell me.”

“I just did! I don’t know any Carols,” you didn’t understand why he was getting mad at you. 

“Who’s Carol?”

“Cassie’s replacement? Carol said you hired her?” you knew for sure there was something wrong now, based on the look on your dad’s face. 

“Y/n, I didn’t hire anyone besides Cassie.” Spencer was now confused himself. What were you talking about?

“But-” you were interrupted by the door opening and Carol walked in. 

“Come on Y/n, we have to go now,” she said, reaching her hand out for you.

Spencer grabbed onto you tightly, ignoring the no touching rule, “Y/n, no.”

“Dad?”

“Spencer I’m sorry but I have to get her back now. She has school tomorrow. I wish you could have more time,” Carol faked her sympathy. She knew Spencer would recognize her. This was her way of throwing him off. 

“She’s not leaving with you,” he turned to the guard, “I need Emily and my lawyer here. My daughter isn’t going back with her,” he was still holding onto you, “She’s not leaving here.”

“Back off inmate,” the guard said, pulling you away from him. He gently shoved you to the door and into Carol’s arms. She tried to wrap her arms around you but you pushed her off. 

“I want to stay!” you yelled but the door was already closed in your face. Carol grabbed you and started walking towards the exit. Diana was nowhere to be found. You heard your dad yelling for you but there was nothing you could do. Surprisingly Carol was a lot stronger than you and it was hard to get her hands off. 

“Diana said you were a good kid. I guess she was wrong.” she sneered.

“You’re not who you say you are. Why didn’t my dad want me with you?”

She laughed, “I’ll tell you later. We have someplace to be.”

~~~~~

Carol told you her real name was Lindsey and your dad worked a case that she was a part of. Lindsey had taken you and Diana captive. She put Diana in the truck of the car and put you in the passenger seat, “If anyone asks, I’m your babysitter. If you yell for help, I’ll kill her,” she gestured toward the trunk of the car as she got out at the gas station. 

“Can I get some air? I get car sick.”

“Sure. Just stay by the car.” 

You knew the team would realize you were kidnapped and would put out an AMBER alert on you, hopefully someone would recognize you. Lindsey had dyed her hair and cut yours. There was another person filling up his car. He smiled at you and then at Lindsey. You heard the AMBER alert go off on the guys phone and on Lindsey's. She checked it and whipped her head up to you, “Get in the car. Now!” she hissed.

You did as she told you and climbed back into the passenger's seat. 

“I think I see the people you’re looking for,” the guy had called the cops and was reporting you two, “Their hair is different but I’m pretty sure it’s them. I’m at a gas sta-” before he could finish, Lindsey shot him. 

You jumped back out of the car, “Why did you do that?”

“Are you really that stupid? Get back in the car,” she pointed the gun at you and shot. It just grazed your arm. Enough to scare you and make you bleed, “Put pressure on it. I need you alive.” 

You scrambled back into the car and found some napkins to cover the wound. Her phone rang and she answered. Her gaze kept shifting from you to the trunk. She opened the driver’s side and shoved the phone at you, “Speak.”

“Hello?” your voice was shaky.

“Y/n? Is that you? Are you ok?”

“Dad! Please help me.”

Lindsey took the phone back, “She’s alive,” she hung up and got back in the car, grabbing gasoline. She poured it around the car and opened the trunk. She yanked Diana out and shoved her into the guy’s truck. She walked around to your door and did the same. She then set the gas station and drove off, leaving the building burning behind you. 

Once at your new location, you were met by another man. He grabbed you, while Lindsey had Diana. 

“I thought they weren’t supposed to be harmed,” the man said, motioning to the napkins that were placed on your arm. 

“She’s a brat and needed to be shut up,” she replied

“And you’re a bitch.” you responded. 

The man laughed but Lindsey grabbed you roughly by your hair, “Keep talking like that and I’ll make sure you die slowly,” she let you go and shoved you forward, making you fall. 

“If your intention was to not hurt me, you’re doing an awful job,” you stood up and brushed yourself off. 

They led you into the cabin and tied you and Diana up in one of the bedrooms. 

“Y/n, you look awful,” she wasn’t in one of her clear head moments so she didn’t really understand what was happening. 

“Well, being kidnapped that happens.” you said blatantly. Not really thinking about softening the blow. 

Diana’s eyes grew in shock, “We’re kidnapped? How’d we get here? Where’s Spencer, is he coming?”

You shrugged. You could tell the injury in your arm was getting to you, because you were growing tired, “I’m sure the team’s working on it. They’ll get here,” you slurred. You heard Diana try to tell you something but you lost consciousness. 

You weren’t sure how long you were out but you remember being woken up by someone shaking you and calling for a medic. You opened your eyes groggily and saw a familiar face, “Emily?” you tried to move but you were still bound to the chair. 

“Oh Y/n, let’s get you out of here,” she helped Rossi untie you and helped you stand up, “Can you walk?”

You shook your head and she carefully lifted you into her arms, “Is my dad here?”

“He’s at Quantico. He’s been worried about you,” everyone was worried about you. There was no way Spencer would be able to handle losing either you or his mother.

“I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do,”

She set you on one of the gurneys that the medics had brought out, “You did everything right. Spencer would be proud,” she lifted your head up with her hands, getting a good look at your injuries, “They really did a number on you huh?”

You nodded and laid back on the gurney, “Can I see him soon?”

“Yeah. The medics just need to check you out,” she followed as the medics wheeled you into the ambulance, “I’ll stay with you if you want,”

You nodded again and she stepped into the back, sitting next to you. 

Your injuries weren’t bad so they were able to patch you up in the ambulance. Emily was with you in the elevator. Diana was cleared before you so she got back sooner. 

“Excited much?” Emily teased since you were bouncing up and down on your heels. 

“Sorry. It’s just been so long since I saw him as a normal person,” you explained. Emily placed her hand on your shoulder as the doors opened. The rest of the team was waiting for you. 

The doors had just barely opened before your dad pulled you into a huge bear hug. He wrapped his arms completely around you and rested his chin on the top of your head, “Oh my god Y/n, I’m so sorry,” he kissed the top of your head and pulled away, “This never should've happened to you,” he looked you over and saw the bruises on your wrists and the bandage on your arm. 

You noticed his gaze had shifted to your arm and you placed your hand over it, “I’m fine dad. I’m just glad everyone’s ok.”

He pulled you back into a hug, “I’m never leaving you again like this. Ever,”

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @dudele @kerrswriting @laura-naruto-fan1998

[everafterkeiji]

Summary: The so-called chemistry between you two is superbly deadly, so why not take it to the next level?

Pairings: Testurou Kuroo x fem!reader

Word count: 5.3k

Tags, Genre: fake lovers! trope, slight angst

A/N: 🤺 stay back🤺feelings🤺

Maybe you should've disagreed on the 10th time or maybe the 8th or 11th?

Honestly, there was no stopping the couple of the year.

"She didn't really say yes at first but with a little push of love she finally did." Kuroo comments, a drink in hand as you smiled against his side, with his arm around you.

"Please, I didn't need a push. I was too in love with the dumbass to say no." Your relatives practically awe at your comment while Kuroo kisses the top of your head, as you smile to sell the deal.

"What are you guys planning on after you graduate? I hope you two continue to stay like this." One of your relatives says as you both recall the plan.

"Moving in doesn't sound so bad, right babe?" He asks you while you sip your drink, feeling his hand slide down to your waist while they cheer at his dialogue.

"I wish young love looked like this when I had it!"

"Y/N is so lucky!"

"Tetsu is the best man for Y/N!"

Sighing with pain to your gums, you spoke.

"Excuse me, I'm just going to refill my drink. Coming babe?"

"Of course, bub." He says before excusing himself as well, while he walks away, his hand loses contact with your waist knowing there wasn't a sight of anyone else in the kitchen apart from you and him.

And cut.

"I thought our fourth line was that we would take things slow—what you said was literally our fifth line, Tetsu. It's too early." You say as you actually refilled your cup as Kuroo sighs but he smiles, leaning on the wall looking at you.

"Well might as well go all out, I'm not an actor for nothing, babe." You sigh as you drank as Kuroo pats your hair, after a sip, you let out a chuckle.

"Actually, their reactions were everything." You say as Kuroo smiles before setting down the cup on the table.

"Did you see your grandmother? She's going to beg you to wear her wedding dress now." He jokes while you shake your head, denying the offer.

You introduced your relatives to him last year, he was thankful that you trusted him this well to get this far in your family. You hated how they fell into this little trap of yours but it was still entertaining to see them act like this, even if guilt trailed alongside it.

"Seriously, do we go over line 5 now?" You asked with a slight smirk as Kuroo intertwined his hands with yours, with the other ready to open the door.

"We'll see how our audience reacts first, babe."

-

"You did not— you guys are taking this too far. How are you feeling?" Yaku asks through the phone as you bit down on your finger as you tried to come up with another excuse to why you keep allowing yourself in this position.

"I'm fine Yaku seriously! Me and Kuroo are staying at this hotel because of the whole family event earlier." You ran a hand through your hair, feeling the stress set in that you were actually sleeping in the same room as him.

This faux relationship has never led to this point. Kuroo has asked you for permission in case he were to kiss your cheek, hand, or forehead and you allowed yourself every time because this is what you got yourself into in the first place.

You agreed because it didn't bring your heart leaps of excitement—not even a sight of a butterfly in your system.

No matter how many times he's held your hand or planted a kiss on your temple, it didn't feel like Cupids touch— the arrows of love purposely hitting you in the wrong places. You initially thought that it was actually risky, to find yourself falling sooner than expected but a year into this 'relationship' you actually enjoyed the experience without having your heart miss a beat because of it all.

Your bond with Kuroo can only be described by the words bickering and platonic. Because of the way you interact with each other and how you constantly visit each others places, everyone could see where this friendship could end up so you took this advantage just for people to avoid the both of you which turns out to be the opposite, now everyone wanted to dig themselves in the news that you actually got together.

"Y/N- Kuroo please explain your work here on the table." You had your experiment carefully in your hands as Kuroo guides you to the table as you went on with your explanation. The teacher was well impressed with the two of you with how prepared you are, you can thank Kuroo for that and your ability to act like you've got your shit together.

"This is why we-" You two said it in sync making the two of you stare at each other as Kuroo chuckles continuing the explanation while you were left to stay silent with the glares from the girls who admired him—and the boys who liked you sent their threats to Kuroo just by glancing at him.

"Thank you, good job you two. I see that chemistry suits the both of you." Your teacher comments and as you walked away you rolled your eyes, disgusted at the corny joke.

"It's working too well actually."

Someone shut him up. You think as you felt the urge to give him a punch to shoulder. Kuroo was dragging more attention to the two of you and you hated it. You knew they were all jokes from your classmates but Kuroo kept feeding and responding to these claims, now you were the center of curiosity.

"Tetsu, I will shove a foot down your throat." You threatened when you were back to your chairs he shrugged making you more irritated.

"It shut them up didn't they? Let's fake it instead." He suggests, now making you slap his arm but his smirk remained on his lips.

"Dumbass, we'd be surrounded with questions and attention- I hate this idea already."

"What about the free couple food and drinks at the mall? You don't wanna experience that?"

"You are not using that card on me, Tetsurou." You said pouting as your chemistry teacher sends a suspicious eye to the both of you, also signalling for you two to stay quiet.

"I know you and you know me well enough that this isn't gonna lead into an actual relationship plus my dad has been bugging me about a girlfriend for weeks." You sigh as Kuroo extends his hand to you, to finalize this outrageous deal.

Looking at where you are now, you wouldn't have it any other way even if it was odd to fake date your best friend. You wouldn't agree if you didn't trust Kuroo to an extent. He would never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, he dragged you into this so he was always careful with his actions. It was always your feelings before his even if his jokes didn't show it.

Kuroo enters the room with a yawn just as you ended the call with Yaku. You patted the space next to you as he plops down on the bed, his head on your lap as you ran your hair through his dark locks.

"Is my boyfriend exhausted from the attention?" You asked him with a giggle as he closes his eyes, in a trance at your fingers doing him magic as you continued.

"Isn't that the girlfriends job to comfort me?" He says, making you smile. There really wasn't any meaning to his words, you were glad that the two of you were sure that everything is a joke. If not, then maybe you two are absolutely fucked.

"Is it okay for you to sleep here? I can always drive us home if you want." You shake your head no as you leaned your back in the soft pillow, relaxing a bit.

" 'S fine, Tetsu. Looks like we're gonna have to sleep here for a while huh?" He sighs before sitting up and leaning on a pillow as well before planting his head on your shoulder, his hand comfortably resting on your knee. It was a habit he had whenever he comforted you in your sorrow but it grew when he does it under the table when you sat next to each other.

Kuroo denies that he's doing this because he just wants to feel close to you. He may be in a sea of people but if he holds onto you, he forgets them in a second. There's always a possibility for him to feel lonely in a crowd but this feeling washes away when he has a chance to feel you around him.

"Tell me if somethings wrong yeah?" He says softly as you nod and he leans to your body more, feeling drowsy at the warmth you gave.

"I do find you annoying, that's a problem right there." You joke as he rolls his eyes and pulling away from you and transferring to the right side of the bed.

"Good night then." He says stubbornly, covering his ears with the pillow while you laugh before going to the right side and drowning in the blankets.

"Night, Kuroo." You bid him as you turn off the lights.

-

The next morning you really wished you didn't give in to him.

Tangled in each others arms, the blankets scattered everywhere as Kuroo was snuggled into your neck when you woke up. It's difficult to move without worrying about him waking up, so you had to move little by little. First, you slowly remove his arm that was on your waist. Second, you tried to rest his head on the pillow instead of you. Third, you scurry away from him successfully.

All of these were disregarded when he pulls you back into his arms, mumbling something while you mentally groan. Kuroos fingers continued to gaze itself on your skin while you sighed, accepting it as it is.

"Tetsu-"

"Five minutes." He whispers not minding the state he's in. He moves away from you when he realizes the sleepiness in him has faded. He stretches, making you stand up and fix your appreance. He sits up after a few seconds and you turn to look at him and his bed hair which never fails to make you laugh.

"I don't allow bullying this early." He says as he throws on a proper shirt. You decided to fix the bed while he brushes his teeth.

"Tonight's the party right?" You asked him as he nods before spitting out the residue of the toothpaste. You went through your bag plotting out the outfits you could wear later. The event was a wedding week of your relatives and it was also an opportunity to set out your weekly episode of a relationship.

It's currently Saturday and the wedding is tomorrow. Tonight was basically a party for both sides of the family. One for the bride and one for the groom. You gave Kuroo a fair warning about their traits when they were drunk but you guys are third years—you've seen how people acted when they were intoxicated.

"Should we just drop line 6?" He jokes, making you throw a pillow directly to his face.

Let's do a role call on these lines.

Line 1 was the backstory of your lovestory. Silly as it may come to others, all these excellent lies were planned beforehand. Each and every one of them. To the date where you confessed, to the exact details on each memory, to the date you officially started dating and of course it included the story that Kuroo has told one too many times already, like a script he remembers with no trace of mistake.

Line 2 were the filler memories. Random come ups of dates and embarrassing stories to grab their attentions in each gathering. Though, this line is the most truthful then the rest. Some of these stories are actually true to life but those that are too romantically disgusting? You can thank your imaginations for that.

Line 3 is the talk of seriousness. Love has actually blossomed by then. It consisted of stories of who said "I love you" first and who actually fell first in the relationship. Mentions of what moment made them realize how in love you were and precious memories that could make everyone long for a companion like yours.

Line 4 is fake maturity at its finest. Why not look like the perfect couple there is to exist? This was sort of a pit stop in your 'relationship'. This is where Kuroo narrows down the pace of you two by throwing some lines like "We're too young to decide for something that big." And "We never know what happens in the future."

Line 5 is moving in with each other. God, you even looked for proper apartments just so you don't mess up a question. You were graduating after all so it was inescapable to talk about your upcoming plans together.

Line 6 shouldn't be used. That's talks of marriage and god— adulting. You two inserted this line as a mere joke knowing once you've gone through college, all these lines would simply disappear because they could never ask about you two anymore. If parents loved something about couples, it's the talk of marriage. Luckily, you and Kuroo hate the topic and simply agreed that this should be avoided at all costs.

"Never." You say as he hands you the pillow you threw before setting it back on the bed. You share a look to each other while you head out of your room to meet with his family.

Hours later, you got distracted in the sensation of his hands intertwined with yours.

Kuroo has subconsciously done it again. Underneath the table, swiping his thumb on the palm of your hand while his expression doesn't even show the slightest bit of interest in what he's doing below. Occasionally, Kuroo would send you a text on how boring the conversation was going so you'd bring up a topic for the both of you.

"You ok?" He asks while you smile at him before leaning your head on his shoulder, suddenly exhausted with wondering about him.

"I'm fine, babe." You say while he forgets the noise in the background. The nickname slipping of your lips so easily, even when you didn't need to call him that.

"Wanna go back to our room?" That was what you wanted anyway but was it rude to walk out of gatherings like this?

"Is that fine with you?" You asked looking up to meet his eyes.

"As long as your okay." He says, making your heart give out a pocket of panic.

You stood up with him following behind you. He was genuinely concerned with you so he catches up to you, slinging his arm around your shoulder bringing you close to him.

"Thanks, Tetsu." You bid him as he opens the door for you. You lied down on the bed as Kuroo sits beside you.

"You sure you're okay? I can tell them that you can't attend the party if you're sick."

"I just got really bored and distracted back there. I'm sorry if I made you worry." Kuroo flicks your forehead with his finger making you say "ow."

"Stop saying sorry, dumbass. You're my priority either way."

Stop. No. Never, remember? You think to yourself.

"Is it because I'm your 'girl?' "

"You've always been my girl, what are you talking about?" He says raising an eyebrow at you while you hit him with a pillow, confused to why your cheeks became warm at his statement.

"Oi, what was that for!" He says before throwing a pillow at you as an act of revenge. Still flushed from earlier, you threw another pillow at him. You couldn't even respond to him without telling your heart to calm down.

"You know what? Let's just watch a movie to pass some time." You suggested taking your laptop while Kuroo stares at you, bewildered at how swift your mood changes.

"Women confuse me. Especially you, god- you remind me of Bokuto. Now scooch over, lady."

-

I really am lucky.

Kuroo thinks to himself while he watches you twirl around the mirror for the 5th time just to temporarily assure your insecurities.

Your outfit fits you like a glove. Hugging every curve of your body, the fabric decorating you with its design. Shades of dark colors on your eyes and a tempting lip color that drives Kuroo insane with this new found thought.

"Before you can ask me, you look amazing Y/N- I don't think that's enough to describe how you look tonight." He says, almost out of breath. You quickly get flustered, turning to notice his outfit. Eyes daring up and down, taking in every bit of the stunning middle blocker.

"Hopefully I can remind you that my eyes are up here." He takes a step towards you, inches away from your nose as he studies your appearance. You just stand out, like a star blinding him. Dangerous as it is, he stares the longest at your lips.

"Y/N? Honey, our ride is here! Tell Kuroo that the guys are looking for him as well!" Your aunt shouts making Kuroo step back, not wanting a problem to surface upon the deal.

"We can meet here at 10pm if you ever feel bored okay?" You nod at him as he places a kiss on your forehead.

"Noted." You said smiling at him, you honestly forgot to thank him for the compliment but the way your eyes danced around him gave him an answer already.

"I'll see you in a bit."

-

Kuroo feels the need to step out of this party. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy the stories of your uncles but this wasn't a circle he could fit into. Sure, the karaoke was humourous to watch but there was a need for him to be alone with you instead.

So, he dials your phone.

"Kuroo? What is it?" You asked him, escaping the noise of your aunties laughing as you went to the balcony.

"Just checking in on you, you good?"

"Is this a signal that you wanna leave babe?" You said chuckling, Kuroo smiles while he stands up to meet with your relatives to bid them goodbye.

"Sadly, yes and you?"

"I'll be there."

Few minutes passed as Kuroo got to your location. He couldn't allow you to commute when you looked that stunning, he was there to keep you safe at all times so you spent your time with silence in a cab back to the hotel. Kuroo didn't wanna talk about the party because he felt too drained to do it.

He takes his jacket and places it on your shoulders while you pull them closer to your body.

You two were seated on the bed while Kuroo removes your heels and setting them on the floor next to your other pairs of shoes. After removing them, you travel to the kitchen and sit on the sink as you drank water. Kuroo follows you with him beside you, leaning on it.

Why is it so quiet? You wondered.

Usually, Kuroo would make remarks or just bring up a conversation with you but you two just sat there with thoughts lingering around each other. While you set down the glass, Kuroo sets himself between your legs making your eyes widen while he sets his hands on either side your hip.

"What's on your mind? You do know that your silence is too loud for me." He says stroking your sides, making you trapped in a heated moment.

"Tetsu-"

"You've been off all morning. What's going on, Y/N?" He asks with sincerity. Ever since breakfast, all he's noticed is how your eyes never dared to stare back at his. How fidgety you were with his hand in yours, the way you'd gaze off into a state of thinking for a few seconds and your hands would feel cold compared to his.

"I- I don't know." You said honestly. There was a block in your mind and your heart. You couldn't notice how you were acting because there's a certain discussion that you unintentionally avoid. Was it the panic Kuroo set your heart in? Is it the way his skin on yours makes you wanna melt?

Was it the butterfly fluttering in you when he said you were his?

"Maybe you're just falling in love with me." Kuroo whispers leaning his face close to yours. God, he was joking. He should be but with his body moving without his system functioning before his orders, he was doomed already.

Unexpectedly, you leaned closer.

You could feel how Kuroo held his hand firmer to your hip while he continues to take away the centimeters in the space you had left. Tilting his head, his lips were impeccably close to yours, threatening you with how you wished they'd be on you already.

But what if I am?

"Isn't that part of the game?" You whispered back, as he steps away. The moment washes over him making his knees almost give out at what he just wanted to do. You sighed as he walks away, leaving you stranded in a pool of questionable feelings.

Your hearts were screaming. What foolishness did you insert yourself in? Kuroo felt like he shouldn't have walked away and chose the fatal move by kissing you the way he always wanted to do but he had to avoid the tightening of his chest.

No one can win in a battle of temptations, especially when your lips were calling his name.

You removed yourself from the sink while you entered your shared bed seeing Kuroo tucked in the sheets, obviously hiding.

You hopped on the either side of the bed with a sigh as you tried to silence out the voices in your head.

I don't want to be in this with you anymore.

-

It wasn't a surprise to see the left side of the bed empty. The moment you woke up, the both of you weren't ready to converse what happened last night, especially the middle blocker. It was his move and you couldn't even manage to move on your own after it. Now what surrounds the room is unresolved tension.

You finally got out of bed, stepping into the bathroom to brush your teeth, locking the door to leave you at peace with your mind. You decided to take a shower knowing the time of the wedding.

Kuroo comes back from grabbing your breakfast. He sees the impact of what happened last night. It was his fault for leaving without explanation now he has to endure the coldness of it all.

He hears the water running so he leans his forehead on the door, his heart wanting nothing more then for everything to be the way it was before.

"If only you knew." He whispers before gathering his tux for the event, sighing to himself.

When you walk out with a towel on, hair dripping droplets, he turns away immediately while you felt the frustration grew in how he was acting.

During your shower, you chose to base your actions with your brain instead of your heart. It can never lead you to proper decisions. Kuroo was making the situation worse—you had expected him to act like nothing happened the next day, maybe then things would have been easier.

"Have you eaten breakfast?" You asked him while he gives you a nod.

Speak to me please.

"I'll go get ready then." There was no point in hoping for a response from him and you grew tired because of it.

His mouth couldn't agree with his mind. He was caught up on if he wanted to apologize or act like nothing happened. He couldn't read your emotions properly even if he feels like he should 'cause if not then this going to grow into something you could both hate.

He's in between of thinking if you want things to be 'normal' or if you want some sort of explanation from him. He also feels like you'd escape the conversation seeing that you leaned in as well, which surprised him. He just can't face it, he can't bring up the words to express how right it felt even if it was wrong.

Still, both ways has his heart still long for you. The regret hasn't died in his body and he wishes it would.

"What time do you think they'll take us to the venue?" Your voice makes him awake somehow, he turns to see applying your makeup in the dress that the bride suggested you'd wear. Just like yesterday, he was struck again. The way the white stood out with the faint details of the dress had you glow like a star he wishes on.

"I don't know." He responds, he fell short on his words and there was still a clear state of hesitation that follows him.

You were fueled by him, yet this fire couldn't be held back.

Kuroo sees the way you drop the brush, leaving a sound echo through the silence he made, the way your heels clicked when you walked right up to him, a weak feeling setting in him knowing your stare was digging holes in his head as he looks at you.

"I think you're forgetting that you moved first."

You say, making him sweat under the confrontation but you let your words show how he managed to place your heart in your hands.

"So why act like we didn't want the same thing?"

You had him stunned. There weren't proper thoughts that ran in his mind, some parts of him still bringing him back to what happened last night and the other wanted to look into the future which was looking unsteady.

"We wouldn't want to ruin our deal, right?" His tone was laced with a threat. He couldn't even set his decisions right. Just blurting out words he thought was enough for the both of you.

"Kuroo, that wasn't an act." You argued making him crumble with another mistake in his response. You both felt it and there wasn't a way to act all blind to it. You were aware and admitted it to him face to face. That was the confirmation he needed to get his heart removed from its knots.

"Y/N-"

You step closer to him, a firm finger on his chest while your eyes stayed on

"If the show is more important to you, then let's call it like nothing happened."

While you give a push to his chest, you turned your back to him hoping it'd make him walk to you and tell you his genuine feelings.

But your heels lead you away from him and his feet remained glued to the floor.

-

They say weddings brought people together to celebrate love.

That is- the love that circled between you two is an experiment you'll never understand.

As you went to the wedding, everyone looked at this perfect couple who radiated silent rage with each other.

Kuroo feels the sting in his heart when you were forced to hold his hand and stick around him. Your voice portrayed it so easily- like this role of being his girlfriend was a reflex, something that you know by the back of the hand.

Meanwhile, he's forgotten his lines.

His expressions, the nicknames guardedly falling off his lips, the shaking hands that roamed around your waist, he was falling apart.

Suddenly, forgetting his role and searching for the script of reality.

Everyone can see it. The way you smiled and tried to avoid questions of why you both seems so close but feel so distant with each other. You'd laugh it off or change the topic to the lovely couple instead, even the bride could sense it.

While the ceremony begins, Kuroo couldn't stop looking at your direction. How could he not when his eyes loved the sight of you? Disregarding the tone of your voice earlier that scared the wits out of him, the way you strutted in that dress of yours still had his heart held captive.

Meanwhile, you kept your eyes busy by trying to focus on the couple. If you didn't control yourself, you would drown in him. Did that tux really have to be perfect in him? The way his hair was actually swept back with gel, exposing a new level of attraction for you.

For a second, Kuroo looks away knowing you'd never look his way the same way again.

And Cupid was sure to hit you right this time.

"Honey, you've shown me love in ways I never knew you could do. At first, I was scared. You know me- love is a deadly road but you drove me to the safest place. Love is scary but with you— I'm willing to fear it as long as I'm yours." The bride vows making some of your relatives form tears in their eyes at the beautiful choice of words.

You bit your lip, finding it ironic how it fits you. You were sure as hell scared. Knowing Kuroo and having to experience a bond with him and it could all end because of a mere kiss. You weren't ready to lose, both in love and in this level of fate.

"I've never said it before but I was scared too. It doesn't show- I know. Losing you is something that haunts me for the rest of my life, it's cliche but what's love without you? Even if I'm having some trouble in saying it, I love you and I don't think I can ever lie about that." The groom says while the bride wipes away her tears, fanning her eyes.

Didn't that just took the words right out of Kuroo?

He gulps, looking at you as you also turned to look at him. An antsy feeling settling in your bodies, the number of butterflies swarming around you was increasing with every word that replays in your minds.

Minutes pass as the newly married couple kiss, making you both awaken at the sound of cheers from your relatives. You stood up from your seat, joining the crowd as they watch the two walk down the path smiling at each other.

Kuroo was on the other side, joined by your male relatives while you were on the side with your aunties. Both of you were tremendously nervous. You decided to avert your eyes on the bride as she readies herself to thow the boquet of bright flowers.

You sighed as you decided to walk away but destiny tugs on your motives.

Time slows down as the boquet thrown in the air was circling around while they all watched on whose lucky hands it lands on. They all tried to reach it, believing in the myth that surrounded it.

Dropping an item from your bag, you bent down to pick it up but what made your eyes widen was the sight of the fallen flowers in front of you and everyone that surrounded you, disappeared in your mind.

Picking it up slowly, the boquet resting in your hand as you admired each flower but your heart was struck like an arrow hittings its target point.

Kuroo held his breath, clenching his hands as he stood there.

Giving one last glance to the boquet, your eyes finally met Kuroos astounded ones and the world goes into a blur while he remained to stay focused in your line of sight.

Just like that, Cupid lands a bullseye to both hearts.

[the-resurrection-3d]

Pov it’s 3 am and you’ve written 1k of what would happen if Alberto ran to Nick instead of talking it out with Massimo at the end of Ciao Alberto (because if you really think about it, that short reinforces how easily Aberto would get groomed in a more realistic scenario). Warning for Nick Being Alive. 

You hear Massimo calling for you, as if the note on your "sister's" bed wasn't explanation enough. You even colored it pink, because that's how humans fire each other. 

And here now a streak of red almost black in the starless night, headlights off as he carefully pulls up to you in the sand. You get in, spotting the  nail indentations in your palms as you raid his glove box for something to tear apart. Tiny empty bottles clatter against the suitcase at your feet. 

He didn't hit you or anything, right? Nick asks, reaching towards your face, but you shrink away. 

No. I just-- Let's just get out of here, please? 

Massimo's lantern bobs in the distance, and then Nick is driving away, and soon enough you don't hear Massimo anymore. 

---

(The joke is that you're getting exactly what you wanted -- a father running after you instead of running away -- and yet both  feels almost the same amount of  awful. The joke is that, after all this time, you finally do know better.) 

--

You tell Nick what happened as you sit in a dark parking lot letting the chocolate shake he's bought for you melt. 

Wow, Nick says, letting his own shake back in the cupholder. 

That bad? You hate how small you sound, especially as Nick nods his head and runs a hand along your thigh. 

I'm not going to lie, Beto, that's pretty fucking bad. But the good news is, it was just a cheap ass wooden boat. 

So you could help me replace it? 

Nick worries his thumbnail between his teeth for a moment, then says, Depends. I don’t get my allowance until Thursday, so I need to see how much cash I have left when we get back to the house. Over in my world, a cheap boat still goes for like 20, 30 thousand dollars, but this is a lot more primitive. So we’ll probably be fine, but it's also going to be super suspicious if you just turn back up with a ton of money, regardless of how much. 

He squeezes your thigh. Sure you don't want to just ghost him? 

Yes! I mean, I... You look away. I'll fix this one thing, and then he'll fire me for real and get back to his life without me. 

Your shoulders slack. I heard him tell Giulia that she needed to work extra shifts at the pescharia because I was costing so much money. You know, buying me new clothes and food and everything. 

Nick barks a laugh. What the fuck? Is he trying to turn you two against each other? 

Another laugh, bitter and ugly. Then again, his cat is named Machiavelli. Maybe he was setting you two at each other's throats for his own fucked up amusement. 

People really do that? 

My grandmother used to do that to my mom and her sisters all the time. Her favorite game was Who's My Favorite Child This Week? Though sometimes she made them play on hard mode and switched it to "Day." Parents are just fucked up-- we both know this. Listen, Beto, I can count the number of good fathers I know on one hand. 

Massimo isn't -- he isn't bad like that. He just doesn't like me. You sigh, Because I fuck everything up. 

Nick doesn't respond, only takes a long sip of his shake. You do too, even though it's runny and makes your stomach cramp. 

Here's what you should do, Nick says. In the morning, if I have enough cash on me, we'll buy a nice little boat and you'll drive it up to his place and leave it and then swim back to mine. Don't stay and chat. We're treating this like a divorce. 

What if he sees me? 

You're faster than him, aren't you? If you stay and try and explain yourself or grovel, it's just gonna escalate things again. The new boat says ‘I'm sorry’ enough. 

And then I...  

But the phone rings before you can ask. 

Nick grabs it out of your hand, but you scrabble after it--

You have to make him miss you, Beto. 

What if he's worried about me?

What if he just wants to scream at you, huh? Nick shoves you back into your seat and silences your buzzing phone. In my experience, he says, staring through you with an intensity that makes your skin shrink, the first day of calls is always to yell at you. Second or third day is when they start getting desperate, and when they're desperate, that's when they actually start to miss you. 

You look away. 

What did you say in your note, anyway? 

That I was going to a friend's house. 

Another ugly, hollow laugh. Does he not believe you have friends? 

You stare at your hands. 

---

Nick texts Massimo that you're safe and not to worry about you, then turns your phone off and slips it into the pocket of his sweatpants. 

--

You break once you're finally at the villa. Hot tears that won't spill and fists full of your hair and your whole body curled around itself like a clenched fist in Nick's passenger seat. 

You're such a fucking idiot. 

Nick rubs your back and tells you it wasn't your fault. Come on, let me pour you a drink. 

Come on, let's go watch a movie. 

Come on, Beto, let me take care of you. 

His hand sliding up under the fabric of your shorts. Your body pressed down beneath his on the couch. The screen screaming with blood. 

You watch slashers to turn your brain off, anyway. 

--- 

The next morning, before the sun has started its crawl across the sky, you slip out from underneath Nick and pick your pants off the floor and swim back to Portorosso and watch Massimo stand there on the shore, hammering away at his little broken boat. He's whistling, but you can't tell whether or not the song sounds happy. 

You think you know the lyrics, but they swim right under your memory -- something about being free. 

[kokichis-dead-dove-club]

I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, I think you're in the wrong for saying fiction doesn't affect reality, and before you say some random snarky response, please listen for a second.

By writing fanfiction involving fictional children in relationships with adults, or by drawing abusive relationships or by creating content of incest, you are providing tools for abusers to use to groom victims and children. You say you have trauma involving this kind of thing, and yet you are normalizing this sort of behavior so it will spill over and harm real people. A part of me believes you do not really care about other people, and are just as disgusting and awful as the people who hurt you, because you are supporting their behavior and providing them content to hurt more people. And a part of me is sorry for you.

It is none of my business when someone creates content that doesn't actively promote harmful ideals and hurt real people.

That is a valid statement.

But it becomes unacceptable and downright disgusting when people like you go "oooh I have trauma boo hoo I'm going to write an adult and child having intercourse and then publish it so actual real life pedophiles can find it and use it to groom children uwuwuwuw"

Fuck you for acting like your disgusting perverted ideals aren't harming people. Fuck you for acting like you're high and mighty when what you create is hurting real people. Fuck you for not tagging your content appropriately and fuck you for being a shit stain on our society. Pedophilia is not normal, incest is not normal, and abuse is not normal. It should never be presented as such, and should never be publicly promoted as such.

Sincerely, an ex pro shipper.

wow, ok lmao

im curious who was so awful to you that youre an ex proshipper? i dont tend to see people going from someone who is against harassment to someone who is very much For harassment

i do appreciate that you clearly took your time to write this ask in a (mostly, up until the end) respectful way, so i want to try to respond in kind:

1. "you are providing tools for groomers to use"

groomers will use literally anything to groom. they will use books, movies, food, and yes, perfectly "healthy, unproblematic" ships/fiction.

i am not providing tools for shit. i am creating content that i like, for others who like it, and that is IT. i do not create things with the intent that anyone will use it to harm others. allow me to use this to segue into my next rebuttal:

2. "you don't care about other people, and are just as awful and disgusting as as the people who hurt you"

and here's where i'm going to lose my shit a little.

how fucking dare you? i care an awful lot about others, but that doesn't even matter as much as your next claim; that i'm just as awful as the people who hurt me?

how the fuck can you sit there and genuinely believe that? please show me where i have EVER told anyone to kill themselves, that i hope they die, that i want to run them over with a truck, that i think they enjoyed their abuse, that their family members wish they were dead, that their DEAD FUCKING GRANDMOTHER, WHO HAD JUST PASSED AWAY, WOULD BE GLAD THEYRE DEAD.

show me where i EVER fucking said ANY OF THAT. FUCKING SHOW ME.

3. "fuck you for not tagging your content appropriately"

but. i do tag my content appropriately? if i've ever missed a tag, i apologize, please tell me the post so i can go back and tag it. i always make sure that i am tagging what needs to be tagged, because to me, that is the most important thing that needs to be done when you are creating content such as what i create. so again, if i have forgotten a tag or you think i need a new tag, please tell me. i would be more than happy to oblige. (although no, i will not be tagging ships that aren't pedophilic as 'pedophilia'.)

4. "pedophilia is not normal, incest is not normal, abuse is not normal. it should never be presented as such, and should never be publicly promoted as such."

i agree 100%! however, i have never claimed those things as being normal, nor have i ever presented them or promoted them as such?

you're confusing what fictional scenarios and tropes i enjoy with me supporting and encouraging those things irl. they are completely separate, so i'm unsure what your problem there is.

5. (your general statements about my content hurting real people)

that's not how that works lmao

if someone is uncomfortable by and hates me/my content? cool, that's fine and understandable. please block me and avoid my content and curate your internet experience. that is why i tag my content, so people who don't like it can avoid it.

if someone sees my content, decides on their own that because i draw incest or whatever, that i automatically support irl incest, and they have a freakout over it and decide to harass me? not my fucking problem. if they sincerely believe that fiction is reality, then whatever happens after that is their personal problem.

i do my part. i tag my shit. i warn for my shit. that is as far as my end of the street goes. it is their responsibility to go to their end of the street and take action to ensure they don't see my content.

i don't have control over people's reactions or feelings about my content. but i do have control over taking the necessary steps to limit their exposure and make it easy for them to block my things. and i have consistently done that.

whatever the purpose of your message was, whether it was just to cause me distress, or whether you actually sent this in good faith, i just hope you can take some of this to heart and understand that i have done my part.

have a good evening anon, and i hope you can work past whatevers troubling you.