#please be nice to everyone post-splatfest

[justsomeonenamedskyla]

so the anniversary splatfest results right (spoilers if you haven't seen the results yet)

at this point i'm so used to shiver winning that i'm not even mad, i'm just confused how she got 55% of the popularity overall i hear that jp players are big fans of shiver so that could be why, and if so, maybe nintendo should separate results into a regional [like NA (North America), EU (Europe), JP (Japan), etc] category and a worldwide category so that we can see how everyone did while also giving more chances for other teams to win since jp players make up a ton of the player base it just feels bad when i tried my absolute best for my team, with everyone i know thinking we'll win (on my team or not), but then we get absolutely dunked on by shiver, though this could be team frye copium edit: though, it's not entirely japan's fault, of course. plenty of people love shiver, and i have seen jp players on other teams, which is partially why i still want to see worldwide leaderboards. plus, it'd be neat to see how our own regions perform in the splatfests in comparison. i just think this addition would limit a lot of the toxicity surrounding splatfests right now, so that more people are happy

[starshadyy]

what your favorite splatoon character says about YOU!

obligatory “this is a joke” disclaimer, please don’t take offense i’m only being silly👉👈

☆ ★ ☆

callie: you are a diehard squid sisters fan. you have an intrinsic sense for design and are probably super creative. you hate it when people misinterpret her. others wouldn’t assume it, but you actually need therapy more than most others on this list…😔

marie: you’re really intimidating but probably super nice. you’re actually good at the game and are well-versed in the meta. you may not be the best at communication, but you have a strong intuition and are good at reading people

pearl: an absolute feral crackhead who needs to be kept on a leash. definitely queer. nasty majesty is your national anthem. you breathe life and energy into every situation you enter, and others appreciate you for it. you are pearlina’s strongest soldier! 🩷🩵

marina: you are a massive nerd /affectionate. you either wanna be her friend or you have a fat crush on her. you listen to splatoon ost all the time. your room is packed with stuff from the media you like, including mountains of plushies

shiver: you join her team during splatfests even when you don’t necessarily agree with the platform. you’re likely very sarcastic and always speak your mind. oh yeah, and you’re a weeb

frye: you loved her from the start and defended her honor back when everyone was clowning on her design. you’re very talented but humble about your accomplishments. you would bite someone if allowed

big man: you act laid back but are probably filled with anxiety. i get the vibe that you would own an unconventional pet of some kind [turtle, frog, ferret, etc.]. you’re for sure the mom friend. you know nothing about splatoon lore

captain 3: you are the BACKBONE of this fandom and i have nothing but respect for you. you’re probably ranked pretty high in competitive and are likely a completionist

agent 4: you grew up on splatoon 2 and were sure that they would show up in side order only to be… uh, half right? i’m so sorry sweet prince /gn. don’t you worry, your day [splatoon 4] is fast approaching…

eight: you’re very analytical and derive great joy from the story aspects of splatoon. you either write or read fanfiction and maybe cosplay too. you LIVE for the found family trope, and also probably ship them with captain 3. you have amazing taste :]

neo agent 3: you think lil buddy is the most adorable creature to walk the planet. you wish their initial outfit was actually accessible in the game. you’ve probably only played splatoon 3

cap’n cuttlefish: you’re an og who’s been around since splatoon 1 but still know next to nothing about the lore. you don’t main a weapon, and instead prefer to bounce around. you are… an inscrutable crackhead who i want to study

dj octavio: you’re willing to die on the hill that he is not a villain and only did what he did to support his people [you’re right btw]. you’re actually really chill and fun and i have a lot of respect for you. also, i’m liable to believe that you ship him with cuttlefish, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!?

commander tartar: you’re… ME??? villainous characters are always your favorites. you think octo expansion is a masterpiece [and you’re entirely right]. you’re a splatoon scholar and scour every obscure twitter post and artbook note to satiate your hunger for that sweet sweet lore. there’s something deeply wrong in your head.

mr. grizz: you play a lot of salmon run but are actually kinda bad at it [shhh i won’t tell]. you suffered through after alterna just for his backstory log and the bear ears. i’m going to go out on a limb here and say… you have daddy issues

smollusk: you LOVE the idea that marina and pearl are its adoptive moms. you’ve beaten side order with every palette. you overuse the “🥺” emoji. you miiight be a little annoying, but your heart is in the right place… probably

acht: either the chillest person you’ll ever meet or the most insane. probably both. you’re 100% queer and probably neurodivergent too. i bet you listen to will wood and / or tally hall. i wanna be your friend

harmony: you know every chirpy chips song by heart. you’re probably really sweet and i know you make banger fanart. you have an affinity for cute things and i bet your favorite pokémon type is fairy. DEFINITELY neurodivergent.

cq cumber: ???you both confuse and frighten me!!! what can i even say? you’re a cryptid! but honestly, you’re kinda iconic. i salute you, you freak of nature🫡

iso padre: I LOVE YOU. you’re accepting of all people and are just an absolute saint in general. daddy issues, but you’re coping way better than the grizz fans. also, i’m betting that you’re neurodivergent

sheldon: i didn’t think you existed, but turns out that you do? you actually listen to his rambles. splatoon 2 is your favorite game in the series. you’re able to see the value in things that others tear down and y'know what? i respect that [not saying i approve of your character choice though]

judd: wait, why him? ohh wait, i know! you probably just don’t care about splatoon’s story at all and / or love cats. there, that’s totally it, right?

lil judd: you either DON’T know his lore and just like the cute little kitten, or you DO know his lore and you’re unhinged. i’m scared of you

spyke: you’d bark for him without hesitation and DON’T pretend you wouldn’t. you clown. you absolute freak. i know what you are. /j

murch: if i had to bet, you’re probably the shy type who prefers to let others do the talking for them. you might secretly be a little freaky though, and i think you should embrace that side of yourself. you’re safe here. be free.

[boo-ties]

“please be nice about the splatfest :( don’t be mean to shiver.” pretty much everyone i’ve seen is being silly about it so it’s really not a big deal. this isn’t going to cause a fracture in the fandom or anything unless we let it, i promise. relax a bit and let people post their silly goofs from all sides. just respect each other at the end of the day and it’s all fine 👍

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Splataclysm! - chapter 6

Oh wow, I’m really on a writing roll today (I say, knowing this chapter has been 90% complete for like a month already and I couldn’t be bothered to finish it until today) Anyway yeah, here’s more of the Splatoon AU fic, it got kinda silly hehe

Also on AO3

Sabrina couldn’t help staring through the window in awe. The Squid Sisters themselves were in the studio, chatting to each other, only a few metres away. All that separated Sabrina from them was a panel of glass! She wished she could meet them. How inspirational were they?

But it probably wouldn’t happen. Sabrina knew she wasn’t a good singer anyway, she could never be like them. She should just focus on battling.

Turning around, she saw that Chloé was still leaning against the railing, watching Inkopolis Plaza down below them. Or rather, watching someone in particular.

“Are you still looking at Alya?” Sabrina asked. Ever since the final Splatfest, where both Alya and Chloé had chosen the same team, they had decided upon a truce to their rivalry. Now it seemed that Chloé was just fascinated with her.

“I don’t get it,” Chloé said. “Why would her friends just leave her like that? First Nino, then Marinette and Adrien… in fact, why would Adrien just leave me like that…”

“I don’t know,” Sabrina said, standing beside Chloé and looking down at Alya too, who was doing something on her phone. “Maybe Adrien’s father made him leave or something.”

“True. But now Alya’s all alone.” She shook her head. “I should have been a better friend to her much earlier on, shouldn’t I? I thought rivalry was an important thing! I thought having a rival would make me better somehow! But it didn’t. I was just stubborn.”

“Why don’t you go talk to Alya?”

“I don’t know if she’d want to talk to me.”

“But you’re not rivals anymore.”

“Still, that doesn’t mean we’re friends!”

Sabrina put a hand on Chloé’s shoulder. “You managed to make friends with me, didn’t you? So you can make friends with Alya too.”

Chloé smiled at her. “Thanks, Sabrina. You’re right. I ought to try.” She looked back down at the plaza. “Do you think I should switch weapons? I’ve been using a Splattershot for a while but I don’t know, I think I might be better off with a .52 Gal…”

“Are you doing this because Alya uses a Gal? I’m pretty sure she uses a .96 Gal, though.”

“Alright, Alya may have inspired me. But a .52 Gal is much easier to use so I’ll at least start off with that. Then Alya and I will both be using Gals.”

Sabrina chuckled a little. Chloé and Alya… would they be Gal Pals then?

Down below in the plaza, Alya wasn’t the only inkling around.

“Aw, come on Rose!” Nath said, pulling Rose towards the Lobby by the arm. “Just one Ranked Battle? Please?”

“I don’t know,” she muttered. “It’s far too competitive, I always feel like everyone’s being so aggressive–”

“But I’ve never tried it before and I don’t want to do it alone! Pretty please?” He put on his most adorable expression, hoping it would work on a sweetheart like Rose.

“Alright then,” she said, her face softening. “But just one match. I believe the current Ranked Battle mode is Splat Zones, and that’s not so bad. I’d say it’s the least aggressive out of the three.”

“Then let’s go!”

Just then the large screen in the plaza lit up, ready for another announcement. Nath and Rose stopped to watch. The Squid Sisters appeared on the screen, all dressed up in their bling as usual.

“It’s stage changeover time!” Mireille said, punching a fist up in the air. “Let’s see what the Turf War battle stages are!”

“Here they come,” Aurore muttered, looking as if she was reading lines off a telescreen somewhere.

“The first Turf War stage is… Arowana Mall! Hey Aurore, remember that time we went to that café here and bought seven helpings of ice cream?”

“I remember you spilling at least two of them on the floor,” Aurore replied, her expression unchanged.

“Ahem, yes… anyway, the other Turf War stage is… Flounder Heights! Doesn’t Plagg live here?”

“I think so, I’ve seen him commuting into the city sometimes.”

“Nice! And now for the Ranked Battle stages. The next Ranked Battle mode is… Tower Control!”

Rose sighed, leaning on her Carbon Roller Deco. “Tower Control is so stressful…”

“And the first Ranked Battle stage,” Mireille continued, “is Kelp Dome! Aurore, do you know if they grow chip plants here?”

Aurore stifled a yawn. “I seriously doubt it, Mireille…”

“Right, right, I knew that. Anyway, the other Ranked Battle stage is… Walleye Warehouse! And ooh yes, even we’ve heard the juicy stories… off in a remote corner of the warehouse, two young inklings are–”

“BATTLING!” Aurore said quickly, putting on a giant grin that looked very out of place. “Yep. Battling. We’re not spreading any rumours, are we Mireille?”

“No, no, of course not, haha!” Mireille chuckled nervously. “Alright, that’s it for now. We’ll see you later for the next battle stage announcements. And in the meantime…”

The two Squid Sisters put their hands up in unison and sang, “Stay fresh!”

Nath turned straight round to face Rose. “What rumours? Please tell me! I know I’ve been here for a while now but I still always feel like a newbie, so out of the loop…”

“Oh, it’s just something silly,” Rose said, giggling a little. “Juleka told me about it, she hears everything. It’s not anything terribly important, just some silliness, I’m surprised the Squid Sisters even mentioned it…”

“So what is it?!”

“You know Lê Chiến Kim, right?”

“Of course I do, I’ve been splatted by him like seven hundred times.”

Rose giggled again. “So have I! Anyway, apparently a while ago he was bragging that after a match at Walleye Warehouse, he went and hid off in a corner and kissed someone.”

“Who?”

“No one knows, he’s been keeping it a secret. Most people guess it must have been one of his teammates, but who knows? It’s a mystery! And now Walleye Warehouse is somewhat notorious for being… well… romantic, I suppose…”

“How can a noisy, smoky factory be romantic?” Nath scoffed. “And what if Kim’s lying?”

“He may be a show-off, but he’s not a liar.”

“Whatever.” Nath held up the new weapon he was going to try out, the N-ZAP ’85. “So, should we go battle?”

“Fine, I suppose. But like I said, I’m only doing one match. Tower Control is really not my thing.”

Seeing her dejected face was enough to make Nath feel a little guilty for dragging her into this. It was like kicking a guppy. He leaned forwards and gave her a quick hug.

“Thank you Rose, you’re an awesome friend.”

There – that had cheered her up! She gave him one of her massive smiles.

“It’s no problem! With you it’ll be fun! Let’s get going.”

They went into the Lobby together and joined a match. Since it was Nath’s first time he had automatically been assigned a rank of C-, the lowest, so he was matched up with other players of similar ranks. Rose had done few enough Ranked Battles that she was still a C- rank too, so they were assigned to the same team together along with two other people.

While the team was getting ready, Nath read a little information booklet that explained the rules of Tower Control. In this mode, there was a small square tower with a little post in the middle of it. It started off in the centre of the battle stage, and whenever one of the teams “controlled” it (by having at least one of their members standing on the tower) it would slowly move along a predetermined path towards a goal near the enemy team’s base. The objective was to get the tower as far towards the goal as possible within the time limit, and stop it falling into enemy control.

That sounded simple enough. Of course, there were a few more rules, such as the match going into overtime if the losing team was in control of the tower when time was up, or that if the tower reached one of the goals then the team in control would automatically win by knockout, etc. Nath decided he would get the hang of it better by actually taking part.

He and his teammates were transported to Kelp Dome for the first match. It was a large indoor greenhouse full of all sorts of plants and food being grown everywhere, making it hot and humid. According to the map the tower was on top of a large platform in the open central area of the battle stage.

Rose started giggling for some reason.

“What’s funny?” Nath asked.

“Oh! It’s just… well, have you had a look at our opponents?”

Nath took a look. Some random guy called Justin, that was alright… and the others were…

“The Slaughter Squad!” he yelped. “How is that funny? We’re going to lose for sure!”

Rose managed to stop herself laughing long enough to answer. “If this was a Turf War we’d lose, but when it comes to Ranked Battles, they’re only rank C- for a reason! You’ll see what I mean!” She collapsed into giggles again.

Nath still wasn’t sure. Alright, fair enough, Kim and Alix wouldn’t be too bad to deal with probably. But what about Max, the legendary unsplattable inkling? Was he still going to be using an E-Litre 3K Scope?

Sure enough, taking a look at what weapons they were using, it was true. Max was still using his E-Litre. The other two had switched to using Tentatek Splattershots. That made sense, since Aerosprays would not be ideal for the kind of fierce battling needed for Tower Control. But Max, with his ridiculously long-ranged Charger… Nath shivered just thinking about it.

The signal played for the match to begin, and Nath immediately jumped off the starting platform onto the low ground, shooting orange ink everywhere. The N-ZAP ’85 had a very quick fire rate and reminded him somewhat of using the good old Splattershot Jr. that he had started off with, though thankfully with better range and accuracy. Maybe he would actually be good at using this one!

One of his other teammates inked the side of a wall and swam up it to get access to the tower much quicker than going the long way around, and Nath followed. They arrived in the central area to see that the other team had already got to the tower first, with Kim standing on top of it raining down Suction Bombs everywhere, and Alix running around on the ground shooting at anyone who came near.

Nath noticed a laser line from somewhere high up and quickly swam away, hopefully out of reach. Kelp Dome had narrow grated walkways running above most of the arena and it looked like Max must have been standing up on one of those, trying to splat people from there.

Anyway, there was no time to lose. The tower was already moving towards the finishing point near his team’s base and he had to stop it from getting there!

He swam up to the side of the tower, unnoticed, while Alix was off chasing Rose. Then he leapt into humanoid form for a second and threw a Splat Bomb onto the tower, hoping that would force Kim off it. But Kim merely went around to the other side of the tower and used the post to shield himself from the explosion.

Alright – maybe direct action was better. He shot orange ink up the side of the tower, swam up onto it, then tried to splat Kim by shooting at him directly.

For some reason, Kim suddenly jumped off the tower, leaving Nath standing there alone. Huh, that was weird. But good! It was good! The tower was now in his team’s control and had started heading the other way.

He went around to the other side of the tower for a better view of where the tower was going, only to see that Kim had left a Suction Bomb there. Nath backed up as quickly as possible but it was too late – the bomb exploded, splatting him in bright blue ink, and Kim went back onto the tower and regained control.

In the several seconds it took Nath to respawn back at his home base, he could see several interesting things happening on the map. His teammates were all distracted and not focusing on the tower. Rose was in a battle with Justin, and the other teammates seemed to be chasing Max and trying to splat him – though surely that was futile, considering Max’s title of “unsplattable”. Meanwhile, the tower was getting closer and closer to the finish, closer and closer to knocking them out completely!

Nath knew it was up to him to stop the tower. He couldn’t afford to make any silly mistakes this time, like not noticing a sneaky Suction Bomb. He had to be careful and do this properly.

The tower was already closing in on the final stretch, down one of the side corridors – though calling it a “corridor” didn’t seem right, since Kelp Dome was so big and spacious. Nath swam over towards there as quick as he could…

Then stopped, staring in disbelief.

“…and I was on the tower first, so you get off and protect it!”

“The tower goes faster with more people on it so will you just let me stay here–”

“But you’re always getting splatted, you’ll sabotage the whole–”

“There’s no one around! Just let me on the tower, you big oaf, we’re meant to be a team!”

Nath couldn’t help it – he burst into laughter. Of course it wasn’t the first time he had seen Kim and Alix furiously arguing with each other, but right in the middle of battle? Oh, this was just too good!

“There, go splat that guy!” Kim said, pointing at Nath. Nath tried to hold up his N-ZAP ’85 and shoot at them but he was still laughing too much to aim anywhere near well enough.

“Why don’t you go splat him? I thought you said you were the one who’s good at splatting people, huh?”

“Oh, just get off my tower you stupid midget!”

Kim picked up Alix by the scruff of the neck and threw her off the tower. Within a few seconds she had climbed back on and started violently hitting him with her weapon.

“HOW DARE YOU CHUCK ME OFF THE TOWER, YOU COMPLETE, UTTER–”

A string of interesting swear words followed. Nath finally got his laughter under control, knowing that he couldn’t waste this chance. If those two were busy having a full-on fist-fight in the middle of battle, at least they weren’t concentrating on him. He ran closer and started shooting at them. That seemed to stop the brawl immediately.

His N-ZAP didn’t have quite as much range as the Tentatek Splattershots, not to mention that it was two on one. He was splatted within just a few seconds. The other two immediately went back to fighting each other.

Respawning back on his home base, Nath knew it was hopeless. None of his teammates were anywhere near the tower so he couldn’t Super Jump there quickly, and trying to swim all the way there would take too much time. There was no point. He watched the map, seeing the tower getting closer and closer and…

There. The tower reached the goal and the signal played for the end of the match. The inklings were all Super Jumped to the centre of the arena where Plagg was waiting to judge them, as always.

“You know,” he said, in a completely monotone voice, “there is a rule that states no physical violence allowed or you will be disqualified. But then again, that rule only applies when you are attacking people from the opposing team. There’s nothing that forbids you from fighting your own teammates. So I guess I’m not allowed to disqualify you complete morons, as much as I want to, since you technically did nothing wrong. Congrats on the win.”

Without another word he vanished.

“I’m not the one who started the fight!” Kim said indignantly. “That thing hit me first.”

“I’m not a thing and I am this close to hitting you again!” Alix snapped.

“Ew, the thing’s trying to speak to me. Max, make it stop.”

Max simply sighed and Super Jumped away.

“Oh fine then, just leave me here with an overly violent little rodent who seems to like trying to beat me up–”

“We should probably go,” Rose muttered, tugging on Nath’s arm. “I don’t like arguments.”

Of course she didn’t. Nath, on the other hand, was finding this far more amusing than he should. At least it was distracting him from the fact that he’d lost his very first Ranked Battle, even though he’d had a chance to win it.

“Fine,” he said. He and Rose Super Jumped back to the plaza. They landed rather near where Max had landed. How was that guy so cool? He hadn’t even needed to say anything to his idiotic teammates, he just left. What gracefulness. What… freshness.

“Phew!” Rose said, a smile back on her face. “I told you Tower Control is aggressive, though I wasn’t expecting it to be quite that aggressive. A real fist-fight, honestly! Did you witness it yourself? What caused it? I would think that they… Nath? Hello?”

She waved a hand in front of his voice. He snapped out of his daydream. Had he been staring at Max? He really didn’t mean to. He was just… trying to figure out how to be that fresh. Of course.

“Yeah, I’m listening,” he said.

“Oh, right! Sorry.” Rose continued to speak. Nath wasn’t really listening that much, though. What type of sunglasses was Max wearing? Why did he wear them all the time? They certainly looked good, that was for sure. And that jacket, that jacket looked good too. And that whole attitude, the whole way of life, being unsplattable and carrying that E-Litre 3K Scope around everywhere with him even when he didn’t need it, just because it fit his aesthetic…

Nath tried to shake himself out of it. He wasn’t feeling jealous, was he? No… so then what was he feeling?

Another boss battle. Another time for Adrien to use his Kraken. Yet again, he felt the toxic Octarian ink overtaking him. But this time he wanted to stay awake – he had to stay awake! He had to help Marinette defeat the “Octonozzle”, as this Octarian boss was called.

Why had he used his Kraken? They were doing fine without it. It might have been difficult, but they would have lived. He didn’t need to do it. Why was he always so impulsive? Using his powerful weapons just to be on the safe side, even when he didn’t need to. And this time, all it was doing was causing him pain.

“Chat Noir, stay safe!” he heard Marinette call to him, as if from a distance. She pushed him towards the edge of the arena and then ran off to fight the boss herself. She was so good at being the hero. Afraid of nothing, excellent at everything. Would Adrien ever be able to reach that level? Maybe, maybe not. It would take a long time, that was for sure.

“You okay, bucko?” he heard Captain Fu ask him through the radio.

“I…”

He couldn’t reply. If he opened his mouth anymore, he might be sick. The edges of his vision were starting to black out.

No! He didn’t want to faint again. The boss wasn’t defeated, it wasn’t safe to just suddenly pass out right here. But this Octarian ink that he had absorbed while transformed into the Kraken, it was hurting him. Killing him. It felt like his blood was sizzling.

“Take a seat if you want, bucko. You’ve earned it.”

Had he though? Had he really earned it, when Marinette was out there still fighting?

Feeling dizzy and sick, he slumped onto the floor. The world seemed to be spinning around him. He could see Marinette shooting at the Octonozzle’s tentacle, though it seemed blurry from here, and he could see her stand back as the Octonozzle burst into pieces. All that remained was the butterfly that it had been holding captive.

Oh, thank goodness. The boss was defeated. It was safe.

Without even realizing it, Adrien had ended up lying down, swimming in and out of consciousness. Vague memories drifted past him, nothing concrete. Was that a side effect of prolonged exposure to Octarian ink? Reliving your memories? Because that had happened to him the first time, too.

“Chat! Chat, are you okay?”

He could barely even hear Marinette. Heck, was that even Marinette? Or was it Captain Fu? He couldn’t tell through the ringing in his ears.

Closing his eyes, he finally let the darkness wash over him completely.

A park, with everyone on skateboards and having a good time. But Adrien waits outside. He won’t enter. Not without…

“Why don’t you want to go in?” he asks.

Those grey eyes turn to look at him with less enthusiasm than he has ever seen. “I’m not really… welcome here, I guess…”

“Why not?”

A sigh – not a tired one, but a sad one. “I have an enemy here.”

“You have an enemy?!” Adrien can’t help but feel shocked. “How could anyone be your enemy?”

“You don’t battle with me much, you don’t know, but…” A soft hand squeeze. “I’m not really as nice to other people as I am to you.”

“I know that,” Adrien admits.

“Yeah. I wish I could be better. I just…” A harder hand squeeze now. “I find it so hard to apologize! And I’ve got this reputation already, and I don’t wanna change it, I worked so hard to get here. But I always get so jealous and reckless, and a certain person here at this skatepark hates me very much, and I wish I could change that but I just don’t even know where to start…”

Adrien always loves receiving hugs, but now is the time to give one. He never tires of feeling that precious warm hoodie fabric against his arms.

“I’m proud of you for trying,” he says. “You know there’s a problem and you want to change. That’s the first step. And I love you.”

A long pause. His words must have really had an effect.

“I… I love you too, Adrien.”

Of course. He knows that. He smiles into the hoodie, feeling lucky for once.