#please accept this humble offering after like 4 months of silence

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

Springtime Caresses

IV. Dadstarion, but he's only just figuring that one out.

Good things were happening to Astarion, at least on occasion. It had taken him years to accept that, to trust that his luck wasn’t about to run out at any given moment; to believe that he was worthy of whatever goodness came his way. And things were good, so very good—the Elven woman trancing in his arms was all the proof he needed, was she not? It was thanks to her magic woven into the protective canvas of their tent that he could feel the late morning sun warm his skin. It was her graceful body entangled with his that anchored him to a present worth living, having him excited for the future. It was her heartbeat echoing through his hollow bones that called him back from unwanted dreams, filling the refuge that was their worn tent with the only sound of life that truly mattered to him. It was his favourite melody in all the realms, one he could pick out in the densest of crowds; a tune he knew by his undead heart. And that was why he was still lying awake long past dawn today, holding his breath, listening. Wondering.

What was this faint, fluttering sound rippling through him where Tav’s bare chest pressed against his own?

For nearly half a century Tav’s heart had been singing for Astarion by now, and he took great pride and care in memorising each of her songs. Every piece in his collection was a personal favourite: the steady hum accompanying peaceful nights spent in each other's arms. The giddy pulsing of excitement whenever they were run out of town for a misdeed they might or might not have committed. The urgent pounding of her heart racing him through the throes of passion…But this strange off-tune beat disturbing his rest now, that one was odd—that one was new.

Astarion couldn’t say when he’d first noticed the unfamiliar sound. It might have been there all night, perhaps even longer; it mingled so subtly with his beloved’s heartbeat that it was easy enough to miss—especially when he’d been distracted by all those divine seductions Tav’s body offered him well into the early morning hours. She had tasted so intoxicatingly sweet with his fangs and cock buried deep inside her; the heels of her feet digging into the small of his back, greedily drawing him closer—deeper—as her blood rushed through him, and her legs and cunt had made the framework that was his entire world. It was ridiculously easy for him to lose himself in Tav. She was the one constant in his existence, the dance to which he could anticipate every next move. But now that his hunger for her was sated for the night, and Tav’s heartbeat had calmed into the gentle whisper of slumber, this novel symphony was deafening in Astarion’s sensitive ears. He wet his lips that still tasted of sweet, darling Tav.

Once, Astarion had been very good at ignoring things. It had been a skill long honed, perfected over centuries—how easily had he been able to just close his eyes, turn his back on the ignorant fools sleeping next to him? It had been such a well-rehearsed dance; him knowing what horrors were about to unfold, how irrevocably a life would change. But, night after night, it hadn’t been his life-changing, and so it had been of no consequence to him. Now, though, it was Tav he watched over as she tranced; whom he’d embraced for so many nights and yet not nearly enough. It was her soft, warm breath caressing his skin, making it impossible for him to unhear, let alone ignore, that ominous sound entrancing him. The moment Astarion had acknowledged the lingering change, it had settled in the thus far unoccupied space between him and his beloved. Already, Astarion could feel it deep in his bones—a shift in his world—and for the first time in many many years, he did not quite know what beat he was to dance to. And so the vampire spawn did what he was wont to do: He watched the even rise and fall of Tav’s bosom, filling his empty lungs with air. Slowly, he breathed in and out, tried and failed imitating that melody that was undeniably Tav and yet, somehow, more.

Very slowly it dawned on Astarion, then. How hadn’t it occurred to him before? It would be impossible for him to fall into that familiar, steady rhythm of Tav’s heartbeat this morning because where there had been one heart beating against his chest for all these years, there were now undeniably two.

Astarion’s useless breath caught in his throat. They’d known it was possible; it had been the probability of it all they’d doubted. And yet, here they were. The vampire spawn stared at the elf in his arms. There had been signs, Astarion realised as he reached for the small hand resting on his ribcage, grounding himself. Now that his world was shaking, he could see all the pieces fall into place. Didn’t Tav tire untypically fast lately, while her trances kept her from him well into the evening hours? And didn’t she smell different, too; taste even sweeter? She’d been changing right under his nose, had she not? He couldn’t even recall when he’d last indulged in her moonblood as he watched a well of memories flutter behind Tav’s eyelids. Her pink lips were slightly parted, brushing the gentlest of kisses against his skin as loose strands of her lustrous hair tickled his chin. She was glowing with life, and Astarion couldn’t help but wonder: did she know? Because, to him, it was suddenly clear as day that something had come alive between them—or rather half-alive, Astarion supposed.

Or half-dead, a mean little voice countered inside his head. 

Careful not to rouse his beloved from her trance, Astarion slowly untangled himself from Tav’s embrace, feeling at once cold at the absence of her touch. Kneeling next to her, Astarion gently placed Tav’s head on the pillow, brushed a stray lock from the face he could recognise blind. Crimson eyes wandered over Tav’s slight form—lean limbs and restless hands; a traveller’s body that rarely saw the sun. A body that could be better fed and more well rested. A body that could be stronger—a vessel that needed to be stronger for the unnatural presence it held. Deep within him, in a place that had lain dormant for many blissful years, Astarion could feel fear and shame settle. Nothing good tended to come of a union made flesh between mortals and monsters. There was a reason dhampirs were this rare; there was a reason mothers to dhampir children were even rarer. The strain of bearing life from death was too great—and it was entirely Astarion’s fault. But what was he to do? Could anything be done about this…predicament, now? All Astarion knew was that he couldn’t bear seeing Tav suffer; wasn’t she paying such a high price for his affliction already?

But Tav didn’t look like she was suffering, not now and not ever. Astarion scoffed at the discontented frown carved between her eyebrows as her hand searched blindly for his, only relaxing when he laced his cold fingers with hers. It was true, Tav was a little pale and her body bore all the signs of a future that had thus far been unwritten. And yet, now that Astarion bent over her, he could see the slight swell of her belly, the firmness of her breasts and recognise them for what they were. Tav was nothing if not resilient, always believing—knowing—that good things came their way. Had she ever given him reason to doubt her?

Carefully, Astarion rested his cheek below Tav’s navel, and there it was—the epicentre of their future, fluttering against his ear as if Tav had swallowed a little bird. He listened closely to the two heartbeats and tried to learn the intricacies of this new song. The sharp ends of Astarion’s fangs pierced his lower lip as he smiled widely against Tav’s belly. For nearly fifty years he and Tav had made love, and now love had eventually made something in return. But it had only just begun, hadn’t it? There was much to consider. They would have to settle down somewhere; being out in the wilderness, going town to town—it wouldn’t do any longer. They needed a safe place where Tav could gather as much strength as possible, a place where their child could thrive. They needed a home. Everything else would fall into place, surely…

There was another change in Tav’s heartbeat, signalling that she’d woken. It only took a second for her free hand to ghost over Astarion’s arm, his shoulders and the nape of his neck before it found its way into his dishevelled curls.

“What are you smiling about?” Tav asked, a sleepy curiosity laced in her voice that made Astarion look up at her face. He wondered again whether she knew of that second heart beating inside her or not, but Tav was a shit liar, and worse at keeping secrets—unlike Astarion.

He considered her a moment longer before he lifted his head off her middle and laid back beside her. Tav hummed contently as he pulled her against him, resuming their earlier position as if nothing had changed. “Just about how pathetically in love I am with you, and how my love for you only grows each day.” 

“Oh, just the usual then,” Tav yawned against his chest, mirroring his smile. “Nothing grand.”

She didn’t know, Astarion was sure of it. And he wouldn’t say anything, not at all. Tav would notice the change in herself soon enough, but for now, it was their secret—Astarion and the little life’s he’d discovered within her. “Nothing grand at all, my dear. Nothing grand at all.”

A good thing was happening to him; he could hear and taste it, feel it grow right there where Tav’s bare chest pressed against his—but who was he to keep that to himself?

“Darling,” Astarion blurted out. “How do you like Baldur’s Gate around…let’s say early Spring, I suppose?”

more Dadstarion content

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[rivers-rambles21]

The one with the road trip

Part 15 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Warnings | 18+ only  - no smut but mentions of it

Chapter 15 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

Apologies for any mistakes, this has been written on my phone and its a bit difficult to edit. Once I’m back with a working laptop I’ll give it a once over :)

Bucky had intended on renting a bike so you could ride down to Louisiana but with Sam’s suit it would’ve been an impossible feat. 

He settled for hiring an SUV and added you both to the insurance so you could take it in turns driving on the long trip down south. 

“Been together one day and we’re already on our first trip” You teased as you rested your feet on the dash, taking in the scenery as Bucky drove. His metal hand gripped the steering wheel as he peaked a glance over to your bare legs, resisting the urge to pull over. 

“You’re the one having a mid life crisis doll not me” You feigned offense and swatted the soldier beside you, pleased to get a hit in as he tried to dodge your attack. His eyes remained on the road as he grasped your hand in his. “Less of that thank you” He laughed, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back before giving it back to rest on your thigh, his hand not leaving yours. 

“Looking forward to seeing Sam again?” He didn’t respond but his face said it all. “You’re so dramatic” You chuckled as you leant down to root around in your bag for the road trip snacks. Retrieving a bag of cashews, you offered it to Bucky who gladly took a handful. 

“I just know he’s going to ask a billion questions about stuff we’ve not even discussed yet, that we’re probably not even ready to talk about. He didn’t stop asking about you y’know? Y/n this, Y/n that…he kept threatening to ask you out.” 

“Oh he did” 

The car swerved slightly as Bucky's grip on the wheel tightened, his concentration lapsing for a split second. 

“He did what?” He asked, tearing his eyes from the road to glance over at you. 

“It was just a bit of harmless flirting-” You began before being cut off. 

“We flirted.” Bucky stated, his jaw clenching. 

“We also did a lot of things just friends don’t do. Relax Sarge, he only asked to get a reaction out of me.” 

Bucky grunted in response, knowing his reaction was a tad over the top but he couldn’t help it. You were his. 

“We could always mess with him in return.” You pondered as you took a swig of your drink. “Maybe hold off on telling him about us, it’s only meant to be a flying visit anyway isn’t it? So we wouldn’t have to pretend for long… play him at his own game?” 

Bucky smirked in response, completely on board with your little plan.

  The next few hours passed with the typical car games and a quick power nap as Bucky continued driving. 

“How long until you start at Starks?” 

“A month thank god, the GRC wanted me gone pretty quickly, I didn't have to work my notice which was a blessing really. I’ll schedule a day to go and clear out my desk and say my goodbyes. Will you still get your pension if we live out of the country?” 

“I’m not sure to be honest, I can pick up work wherever we are though, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m good with my hands” 

“You’re telling me” You muttered under your breath. Bucky heard you loud and clear and let out a laugh as he recalled how you spent most of last night. “Are we crazy? Travelling with no plan, barely any money and only just starting out as a couple?” 

“Oh absolutely”

Eventually Bucky took a break from driving after you stopped for food in a roadside diner. It had been a while since you’d driven but you wanted to give Bucky the chance to get some sleep, something you knew he still struggled with. 

Despite telling him to try and get some sleep on the back seats, he remained upfront with you, doing his best to battle the drowsiness that had overcome him. He’d not gotten much rest the past few weeks, from battling the Flag Smashers in Europe, to hunting down Zemo and then back to New York. In truth he was worried he’d have a nightmare and wasn’t sure on how he’d react but upon your insistence, he tried to get some shut eye. After an hour or so he dropped off, the sound of you humming along to a song on the radio sending him off into a dreamless sleep. 

Bucky couldn’t quite believe it, he couldn’t remember the last time he slept without being haunted by memories of the Winter Soldier. Granted, he only got four hours of sleep , but it was the best he’d felt in a long time.

When it came to your turn to get some shut eye Bucky insisted on stopping over in a hotel for the night. You’d tried to convince him a motel would suffice after you lost the battle of you sleeping in the car but he was victorious. 

To be frank, after spending so many hours in the car, you were grateful to be sleeping in a bed with your super soldier by your side. 

As you slept, Bucky took the time to fire off a few emails advising he’d be ending his lease. Having slept earlier, he felt energised and was content in browsing the internet as you slept tucked into his arm. 

He did his best not to wake you as he opened a selfie from Shuri of her with Ayo and Nomble, a chuckle escaping his lips as Shuri and Nomble looked to be thoroughly enjoying themselves on a boat trip in New York whilst Ayo sulked in the background. 

He also replied to an email from his therapist's office, letting them know he’d be absent from his next session but planned on returning the following week.

Bucky was tempted to let Sam know he was coming but thought it best to surprise him.

The next day was much of the same, both of you switching the drive and stopping off at diners for food. Due to the lack of respect Bucky had for the speed limit, you were making good time and would be in Delacroix the following morning. 

“-it was like I didn’t exist. Honestly it was the most humbling experience of my life” 

“Sergeant Barnes in his uniform… now that is something I’ve got to see.” 

“Maybe one day”  

Your eyebrow perked at the thought. “Good god man” You groaned dramatically and sank further into your seat, giggling as you caught sight of the blush covering his cheeks. “For what it’s worth, lack of nutrients from the rationing clearly messed with her eyesight.” You were genuinely baffled how Peggy didn’t swoon for the man next to you.

“Where were you in the 40’s when I needed you huh?” 

“I doubt I’d have been your type” 

“Intelligent, strong woman with a great sense of humor? And thats not even mentioning your ass.. Oh no, definitely not my type” He replied sarcastically. 

“Ha ha fine, I’ll take your word for it.” 

“I’d have taken you dancing, maybe gone to a show or even the carnival. Anything you wanted.” He took your hand in his again and kissed the back of it as he pondered just how he’d of won you over back then. He usually didn't like to dwell on life before the war, the pain of losing his family and the future he lost was too much but having you in his life somehow made the memories hurt less. Having you with him now along with the future he could picture with you helped him make peace with his past life and accept that it wasn’t something he could ever go back to. 

When Steve was returning the stones, he did wonder whether he should go back with him but the realisation that there wasn’t anything waiting for him apart from a time that he didn't belong to made his decision to remain in the present resolute. And by god was he thankful he stayed.

On your way to your final hotel before arriving at Sams, you’d taken over the driving and had kept Bucky entertained with your off key singing and terrible car games. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” As it turns out, Bucky was a sore loser. 

“What? It counts!!” 

“You cannot see bacteria Y/N” 

“Yes I can! It’s right...right… right there!” You pointed to a random bit of the car interior and held back a laugh at a clearly unamused Bucky.

“You’re so full of shit” 

“How do you know I can’t see it huh? Guess it’s my turn again, I spy with my little -” 

“No” He cut off as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Absolutely not. I’m going to choose a game.” 

You let out a little smile and continued focusing on the road until the super soldier landed on something he liked. 

“Okay okay, would you rather sounds fun. Doll, would you rather have the superpower of being invisible or ability to fly.” 

“Aw come on Buck these are tame! If I have to answer, without a doubt invisibility.” 

“Not dirty enough for you sweetheart?” A tingle rang down your spine at your new nickname. “I’d have to agree, invisibility easily.” 

“Buck you’re an actual superhero, you’ve already got powers, leave some for us mere mortals!” 

“... you think I’m a superhero?” 

“....you’re literally an Avenger.” You reached across towards the man beside you, keeping your eyes on the road as you pressed your hand against his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and swatted your hand away from his head. “Fine you made your point.” 

You shook your head as you returned your hand to the steering wheel, tapping away to the song on the radio. 

“The rest of these questions are boring” He muttered as he furiously scrolled through his cell. 

“C’mon, go R rated” 

“It’s no fun when I already know the answers to these!” 

“Pfft doubtful, come on, hit me” 

“Spit or swallow, you’re a swallower doll.See?” 

“Okay okay! You’re right, I give in. How about we just ask each other some questions?” 

“But you already know everything,” He remarked, throwing a few cashews into his mouth. 

“When did you first see me as someone other than a friend?” You’d thrown him off guard with that question, his hand stuck in mid air as he went to throw more snacks into his mouth. 

“Wouldn't you rather know my most embarrassing sexual encounters?” He offered but was met with silence. “Fine……. I’ve never seen you as just a friend. Yes we were friends before we became more and honestly Y/n if it never progressed further than just friendship I would’ve been fine with it, more than fine with it y’know? Meeting you was the best fucking thing-” “Buck, it’s okay” Your hand reached out towards him and squeezed his thigh as you kept your eyes on the road. 

“There’s more��� before we officially met in the lobby when that creep wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone, I’d seen you around. I was coming back from lunch with Yori and he was complaining about having gone for burgers instead of our usual and there you were, headphones in completely oblivious to the world and searching for your keys in your purse as usual. You were just so carefree - everything I wanted to be. And then a couple of days later we met and I was a goner.”

You bit your lip as you fought back a smile, overwhelmed by his honesty. It was a welcome feeling, knowing you weren’t the only one that felt an attraction almost immediately. 

“I’d seen you around too, before we officially met I mean. It’s kind of hard to miss you” You chuckled as you snuck a glimpse over at him and found him doing his usual glare. “It was pretty early on for me as well, do you remember when we went for coffee?” 

“And you ordered us two cups of sugar? Yeah I remember” 

“Mocha Latte’s aren’t bad for you… they just give you a bit of a buzz” 

“Especially if you order extra cream…” 

“Anyway! I’ve always been attracted to you, I’m not blind y’know but after seeing this dark looming strong man consume a drink like that, and have some residue cream left on his lower lip mind you, I just knew that it was more than just a crush. There’s something oddly charming and attractive about seeing someone so intimidating be so soft. It’s like I’m the only one who gets to see that side of you and I love it” 

Bucky didn't quite know what to say, he was slightly flustered at the compliments you were throwing at him and by the knowledge that you’d been interested far earlier than he had ever dreamed of. 

“We’re idiots aren’t we? For not realising sooner.” 

“Oh without a doubt”

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[mrwinterr]

The Consequence [4]

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

Pairing: Charles Blackwood x Female Reader

Summary: The reader is in search of Charles Blackwood as he’s been missing for several days and not once considering the warning that no good ever comes from being associated with a Blackwood.

Warnings: We Have Always Lived in the Castle spoilers (book and film). Smut (unprotected sex, anal sex, vaginal fingering, oral [female receiving], cum stuff - yeah, I said that), attempted dirty talk and language. Semi/non-canon elements to the original story. 

*Chapter 4 Warning: I’m not fluent in Italian, so I used Google Translate and various articles to see which were the most commonly used structure for the words and phrases mentioned in this chapter. The smut starts right under the gif and it’s the smuttiest thing I’ve written to date. 

Title Inspiration: “The Consequence” by You Me At Six

Disclaimer: There are characters, dialogue and references from the actual book and film, We Have Always Lived in the Castle. They belong to the author and I take no credit for any of these elements. 

A/N: I had the majority of this chapter written since September and that was also the month I had begun my "big girl job”...thus the downward spiral of my fanfic life. Whatever. I got really carried away in this chapter. Comments, feedback, questions, etc. – all welcomed here! 

P R E S E N T

In exchange for the sisters’ kindness, you offered to help them tidy up the house and fix things you could. This was probably one of the few times you were thankful your father had pushed household work on you since it allowed for you to move through the home effectively. You weren’t sure how long you were planning on staying there and the longer you did, the more you were separated from Charles, but what you did know was that these two had to have held the answers on where he was. You had to get on their good side. You just needed to buy more time.  

Your first full week at the house went well. Constance was very easy to get along with, perhaps a bit overbearing and naïve at times, but nonetheless very kind. One would never suspect she was accused of murder in the past. She was more than enthused to find someone who was just as acquainted with the kitchen than she was. Her bright attitude actually allowed you to enjoy yourself for a moment doing these things. On the other hand, Merricat kept to herself a lot. She wasn’t as accepting or open like her older sister. You decided to limit interaction with her for a while.

Earlier that day, while you were preparing to bake gingerbread cookies with Constance, you noticed a few missing essential ingredients such as sugar, so you had offered to go back into the village to pick some up along with a few other items and necessities. The amount of money Constance handed to you made your eyes bulge, only confirming the rumor that you heard when you arrived that this family was indeed loaded.

It was nice to get out of the castle-like house after being coped up in it for days. They didn’t even own a phone, so you thought about ringinng your friend should you find the time. On the route to the market, you got sidetracked and gawked at a nice dress through the window of a small pop-up shop.

The day was still young, so you decided to walk in and browse at the store’s collection. The pastel colored dresses of the Spring collection had you wanting to try them on. The longer you spent looking through the racks of clothing, your mind wandered to a particular dress you haven’t been able to try on. You were supposed to be searching for your perfect wedding dress with your friend soon, but here you were a few towns over trying to find your missing fiancé. You weren’t going to lie; it stung a bit thinking about your wedding plans being halted for the time being. Your thoughts were then broken by a woman’s voice, “that dress would look gorgeous on you, dear.”

You slightly shook your head and realized you had part of the dress you were admiring still in your grasp. To anyone else in the store, you’d looked as if you were examining it rather than lost in thought. Quick to recover, you looked over to give the elderly woman a polite smile, “oh, I was just looking, but you know these things only look good on the display,” you replied playing down the compliment.

“Oh, nonsense! I can tell you possess a different kind of stature from most woman,” she commented back. You weren’t sure what to reply with. She didn’t seem to take your silence as a negative thing before she introduced herself as Helen Clarke and continued to speak, “I haven’t seen you around here. Are you new?” She had a loud voice and was straightforward.

“I’m just passing by,” you said once you told her your name, keeping it short.

“That’s lovely. How are you liking it in our little village?” Oh, she was chatty, you thought to yourself.

“It’s nice,” you lied through your teeth. Aside from Stella, a lot of the people here were hostile, gossiped way too much or were a bit full of themselves. They made the most two hated people of the village, Constance and Merricat, seem as if they were the more tolerable ones. You couldn’t wait to find Charles so you could leave this crazy town and head back home.  

“Yes, it has its charm, does it? Say, I know the woman who owns this shop, would you like for me to get someone to help you try on that dress?” She was overly enthused and helpful as you shook your head, placing the dress back on the rack and quickly wanting to leave the shop.

“No, no. It’s alright. I must be going on my way to the market then back up on the hill before it gets dark,” you franticly tried to excuse yourself out of the situation but didn’t realize you spewed out too much information.

“Up on the hill?” She asked, as you also noted the volume of her voice had lowered, “you’re staying in the Blackwood house?” You eyed her warily before slowly nodding. “How are they? The girls. Are they safe? I’ve been trying to see if they’re okay, but poor things must be shaken from that night of the fire.”

You assured her that they were fine, but she didn’t stop talking, “I’ve been trying so hard to get Constance to return to the village after all she’s been through, but it seems I’ll never be able to help her.” You could tell that she wanted to help Constance and didn’t listen to the gossip about her, “she’s a lovely one and doesn’t deserve to be coped up in that house.” You silently agreed not knowing what else to say or do.

“I better get going,” you said trying to escape this conversation.

“Yes, I suppose I’ve kept you long enough. It was a pleasure to meet you, sweetheart. I hope to see you around. Please send my best regards to the girls,” she requested before you bid Helen goodbye, finally exiting the shop to continue your trek to the market.

After retrieving everything on your list, you phoned your friend and briefed her that you would be staying a few more days. You didn’t let on with too many details on where you were staying, concerned that she would come and drag you out of this village herself. You could just feel that the answers you needed were on the Blackwood property.

When you arrived back at the house, you assisted Constance in preparing dinner and soon you both dived into a topic about more recipes and gardening. It wasn’t really your forte, but you had to work with what you were given with. It was always slightly alarming when Merricat approached the two of you. She had a habit of just walking up quietly that it was kind of eerie, however you considered the result of her upbringing and adjusted to it.

As the three of you sat eating, Constance noticed the gold bracelet lined with tiny pearls wrapped around your wrist, “that’s a beautiful bracelet,” she pointed out.

You looked down to the jewelry on your wrist and smiled. The bracelet had been a gift from Charles. He loved to spoil you and who were you to deny him? “Oh, thank you,” you replied, holding the wrist the bracelet was on close to your chest, “it’s from Venice,” you beamed at the history of your bracelet.

“Italy?” Constance’s eyes widened as you nodded just as enthusiastic as she was in response. You adored Italy especially the last time you were there. You began to recount your trip to her including visiting the St. Mark’s Basilica, experiencing a ride on a gondola and walking alongside the many canals and bridges to admire the architecture. Your trip really piqued her interest.

“You should visit someday!” You encouraged her. Surely, with the amount of money she tried to shove at you earlier that day, they could afford a trip to Europe.

Constance flushed at the thought of exploring a new place, but you soon noticed a sense of sadness draped over her when she mentioned not even being able to barely step farther than her garden, especially not after recent events.

Trying to steer the conversation away from awkwardness, you decided to talk about the pop-up shop from earlier. You mentioned the many gorgeous dresses and accessories that would no doubt look great on Constance. She blushed at your words and shook her head trying to stay humble. You were really starting to feel bad that she felt she had to be coped up in this house in order to survive.

“How about you come with me next time?” You suggested trying to convince her to consider going back into the village, “you won’t be alone. We can both try on all the different dresses and then after find a nice place to eat; a little girl’s night out.” The least she could do was live a little and what better way than with retail therapy, right? “It’ll be fun! I’ll make sure nothing happens-“ you continued but your campaign was caught off.

“Amanita Phalloides contains three poisons: mushroom amanitin, which is slow but potent…“ Merricat started reciting. You looked back and forth between the sisters and realized what was happening. She was trying to change the subject. She probably felt threatened that something as simple as getting Constance to break out of her shell would disrupt their lives. “…phalloidin, which attacks the liver and kidneys and-,” Merricat attempted to continue until she was interrupted.

Surprising the sisters, you jumped in, “phallin, which dissolves red corpuscles although it is the least potent.” You noticed she stopped speaking all-together when your voices merged, her head snapped to your direction, but that didn’t stop you from continuing, “the first symptoms do not appear until seven to twelve hours after eating.” Your knowledge of the death cup mushroom seemed to catch her off guard and it made you feel good like beating someone at their own game. Neither sister said anything once you were done, but their gazes remained fixed on you. “It’s good to be aware of these things,” you said with a slight smug on your face before going back to finishing your meal.

That night in the room you were staying, you let out a sigh as you lied in bed. You draped your right arm over your eyes, but when the cool material of your bracelet hit your face, you lifted your arm to stare at the piece of jewelry you hadn’t taken off. Your left hand started absentmindedly tracing it until your eyes traveled to your engagement ring. They were beautiful indeed, but they were also reminders of your fiancé and you were really missing him. You almost slipped Charles’ name earlier when recalling the trip to Venice, in fact, you had to catch yourself a lot from mentioning his name as each day passed. He never left your mind. Before you dozed off you decided to replay the full details of that trip. It was the most heavenly yet sinful time of your life.

P A S T

It was your first visit out of the country and you were like a kid in a candy store. Charles was amused by you, but you didn’t care. You’d always dreamed about going to Italy even as far as wanting to settle here. There was so much to venture to, you both were lost in an endless maze of beauty, culture and history, and each other.

After a long day of touring the city, the both of you decided to cool down in the oversized tub inside the bathroom of the lavish hotel room. Charles reading something as you sat opposite of him at the other end of the tub, jotting things in your small notebook he’d gifted to you on your past birthday. This city gave you a lot of inspiration. There was a small window that overlooked the wondrous city while also at a level of decency to allow privacy for the occupant. Bathing together wasn’t something new, seeing as how intimate you both had become over the years.

You set your stuff aside and watched Charles turn the pages of what he was reading while occasionally whistling to a random tune. You took this opportunity to soak in the water, sinking in, closing your eyes and resting your head on the edge of the tub. That was proven to be short-lived as you felt Charles hands skim along your calves. Your eyes fluttered opened and you slid your body up slightly to look at him.

Charles’ hand reached across him, grabbing one of yours to pull you forward in his direction. A devious smile sprawled on his face when you chose to straddle him for a comfortable position. Arms wrapped his neck and legs on either side of him, Charles’ hands dipped in and out of the water as they ran up and down your back. His hair was slicked back from being wet and yours was loosely made up, some strands not cooperating in place and wet at the ends. He pulled you in by the nape of your neck to him so his lips could finally claim your own.

His hands snaked their way around to your breasts to grope them causing you to moan in response. He knew how to get you going with and without foreplay. You started to rock your hips and rub your pussy on his hardening cock. He detached his lips from yours to suck in a harsh breath at the feeling. He just couldn’t wait to get inside and feel you. Quite frankly you couldn’t wait for that either, so you didn’t. You raised yourself up a bit and gripped his cock. Without breaking eye contact, you slowly sink down his hard length, the both of you groaning at the feeling of him stretching you the deeper he slipped inside. You took his cock so well and he absolutely thrived on it. His hands settled on your hips to help guide you up and down until you found your own rhythm.  

“You’re so sexy,” he said breathlessly as his hands left your hips to do their own thing and instead gripped the edge of the tub, watching you ride him. You placed a hand on his strong chest while the other was loosely wrapped around his neck as you brought your lips down on his, tongues not hesitating to dart into each other’s mouths. Your hand slipped down his chest and into the water to reach down behind you and cup his balls, palming them. “Oh my…fuck,” Charles growled against your lips. You took his bottom lip between your teeth and grounded harder on him. He was so deep; you let out a moan each time you felt the hairs on his lower abdomen rub against your clit that only layered thick onto the feeling brewing in your lower region.

At some point, his hands regained purchase on your body and started to buck his hips upwards to add onto the work. His movements were so fast, it was your turn to hold onto the sides of the tub for some stability. Each thrust sent a new wave of pleasure through you that you almost found it hard to catch your breath. You thought you might as well be drowning in this tub as he brought his mouth to one of your nipples while the other was being taken care of by his skilled fingers.

You watched as strands of his hair fell out of place, him bite his lip and eyes squeezing shut. It was a tall-tale sign that he was close to coming. The sight of your orgasm racking through your body and its effect on him, the way your eyes glossed from the pleasure, lips parted to let out inaudible gasps, chest heavily rising from trying to catch your breath, legs quivering, and your pussy clenching tight around his throbbing member, were your tall-tale signs for him and things that didn’t make it hard for him to follow you into total euphoria.

You grabbed his face in your hands and slammed your lips to his once more as you felt his cum continue to shoot through inside of you repeatedly. The movements slowed down, but didn’t stop because it felt so good, the warmth provided to each other, you both didn’t want it to end there. All that could be heard was water sloshing and the faint noises of the city outside mixed with each of your uncontrollable pants. There was no self-control whenever you both lost yourselves in each other.

Walking along the cobblestoned pavements, footsteps echoing, you started to reflect how happy you felt. There were no worries, and no one here judged you. It was a busy city packed full of people, but the only person that stood out to you was the man holding your hand. You looked down at your hands clasped together and a faint smile made its way on across your face when you looked at the new accessory adorned your wrist.

Sometime during the day, Charles stepped away from you to speak to a native of the city in Italian asking for directions. As much as you loved to hear him speak in a different language, your eyes wandered at the many shops along the strip. A sparkling display caught your attention as you started gravitating towards the jewelry in a window of a store that sounded like it was out of your budget. You weren’t sure how long you were admiring the piece until you felt Charles’ hand at the small of your back, breaking your trance. You tried to convince him you were only looking, even though you thought it was one of the most gorgeous pieces of jewelry you’ve ever seen. You didn’t even wear much jewelry either because nothing like this was as dazzling back at home or you definitely couldn’t afford it. He reiterated that he wanted to spoil you as if this trip wasn’t enough. He gave you everything.

The city was just as breathtaking in the night than it was in the day. From the top of the balcony of your hotel room, you overlooked the people whose nights were just beginning, the streets and the gondolas that were slowly drifting in the water, which seemed to sparkle casted by the golden glow illuminating from the streetlamps. The cool breeze swept your hair away from your shoulders exposing your neck and causing you to slightly shiver as you stood there in a long white backless dress. The trip was nearing its end and Charles had taken you to an elegant restaurant that you couldn’t read the menu to, so Charles took care of everything.

You instantly warmed up when Charles encased your body with his arms snaking around your waist before settling on each side of your hips and pressing his body against your back. Your hair blown aside from the wind allowed him easy access to plant a kiss behind your ear. The action stirred a small tingle in you. The response tightened his grip when he felt you involuntarily shiver with each contact his lips made on your skin. He progressively started to lick and nip at your ear lobe before kissing a trail down along your neck. You leaned into his body, head cocked to the side and thrown back to rest on his shoulder, providing him full access, your hands grasping onto his forearms for some stability as you slowly started to unravel for him.

Charles then spun you around to face him, “you’re so lovely,” he said just audible for the both of you to hear as he stared at you. You wanted to melt in his hands as he ran them down your exposed back. He leaned in to place a gentle kiss on your lips. It held a much deeper emotion to it, but you didn’t linger on to that thought too long as he pulled away from you too soon for your liking. He chuckled lightly at your eagerness and brought a hand up to cradle your face. When you opened your eyes to look at him, like always, you found yourself lost in sea.

“You’re it for me, baby,” he said before one of his hands reached down his pocket to produce a small, black velvet box. They said your life flashes before your eyes when you die, but can the same be said for love? Because the last few years with Charles flashed before yours as you stared at his hands opening the box to reveal a generous sized ring. Was he it for you?

This was a man who appeared out of nowhere in your life during one of your breakdowns, enlightened a whole new vision and version of yourself that you didn’t think was inside of you, including developing a sense of confidence and thick skin. You came to the conclusion that if you died and your life did flash before your eyes, you definitely wanted Charles to consume and star in it.

You didn’t let Charles finish whatever speech he put together before you pulled him in for a kiss. A kiss that embodied the unique bond, exploding throughout both your bodies. When you pulled away, you watched as he let out another chuckle, licking his lips before speaking, “so is that a yes?” You playfully rolled your eyes at him and confirmed your acceptance. After he slipped the ring on your finger, you raised your hand to examine it. You weren’t admiring its size, shape or beauty, but what it represented. He was everything.

The last day in Venice started out quite interestingly and would become unforgettable. No doubt you and Charles spent the night before continuing to celebrate the first step to your promises of spending forever with each other. You were spent to say the least. Your body felt heavy as you lied lazily on your stomach, arms tucked under the pillow your face was buried into. Unbeknownst to you, the white bed sheet that covered your body began to slide down, exposing you and then seemed to stop just below your lower back.

If the cool temperature of the room didn’t stir you awake, it was the set of warm lips that were leaving wet trails down your spine. A pair of strong hands on either side of your body started to make their way up from your waist, along your ribcage, brushing the sides of your breasts and back down. You let out a tired noise, not exactly ready to get up.

A tolerable amount of weight was placed on top of you, slightly sinking you deeper into the mattress, but enough to let you breathe. Hands traced your arms underneath the pillow your head rested on before fingers intertwined with yours. You peaked one eye open just in time for your new fiancé to place a kiss on your cheek, down any patch of skin visible to him, from your neck and between your shoulder blades.

Charles started to slowly shift his body up and down along your ass through the sheets and hitting the skin of your lower back that wasn’t covered, allowing you to feel his stiff member. Even between the sheets, the friction the threads created between the two of you felt just as good. It gave off some sense of thrill knowing what’s to come soon. You focused on how his breathing started to increase the more he started to ground his hips into you.

“Mmm…baby,” you whined when a particular thrust was noticeably harder than the previous ones. The sharp movement had you involuntarily squeezing his hands in yours and your hips retaliating by bucking back up to meet his.

You heard him hiss at your sudden reaction and release your hands. The next thing you knew, warmth had left you momentarily as he sat up. Before you could turn over and see where he went, your head left the pillow as you got dragged to the center of the bed, lower body hoisted up. You were now bent over, ass in the air, the bed sheet gracefully falling down to your bent knees that were dug into the mattress. Charles ran his hands along the sides of your thighs before settling on top and grabbing a handful of your flesh in each of his palms. He wedges one of thighs in between your legs to knock them apart, enough to give him room to work with.

Those lips that left wet tracks along your spine earlier were now leaving scattered nips and kisses on your ass, while one of his hands snaked its way around one of your thighs to the front and stopped at your clit. Slow small circles and the combination of soft kisses, this tender side of him was always refreshing and you knew it wouldn’t last, so you tried to bask in this moment.

Then you felt the familiar structure of his face pressed between your cheeks and Charles poked his tongue out to lick a strip between your folds. It didn’t take long for him to buildup on his routine of fucking you with his tongue. He continued to rub harsher circles on your now sensitive and soaking bud and the hand, that was helping you stay balanced on your knees from giving out due to the immense pleasure you were feeling, left its place, only for Charles to insert a finger inside you – his tongue and digit taking turns in you. You gasped when he took it upon himself to insert another finger and experimentally spread apart inside you.

“Fuck, babe. I can’t believe how tight you are,” he groaned as he attempted once more at a scissoring motion inside your pussy, marveling at the sight of stretching you out.

His hands were doing quite a number, you started to feel your arousal sliding down your thighs and sweat gathering on your forehead. “…mmm, but you’re always tight, aren’t you?” His voice now laced with a huskier tone, “no matter how many times I stuff my big cock in this pussy,” his words egging you on while he also nipped at your inner thighs.

The bed shifted as Charles sat back up, his bare cock now settled between your ass. He started to slide his hot, hardened member much like he did several minutes ago, but this time nothing was between the two of you. You could now perfectly feel every ridge and vein rubbed up against you mixed with the pre-come that collected itself on its tip. Charles bent down to nip at your ear lobe that wasn’t pressed against the mattress and started to encourage you to chase your orgasm.

His fingers hadn’t left your clit, but the rhythm grew very relentless, and you knew you were going to be feeling its bruising effect later on. Your thighs began twitching the moment you finally reached a peak that erupted, breathing labored and fistfuls of white linen now in your tight grasps.

Charles whispered soft praises in your ear and started kissing another path down your spine. Your lower body was about to finally give out until he caught your hips and kept them steady. You let out a small wince of pain as the skin of your knees started to burn and become slightly sore from being dug into the sheets too long.

You could hear the wet sounds as Charles fisted his cock, coating it with your juices that soaked his hand. He dragged his heavy member though your folds, gathering more wetness and you braced yourself for the next intrusion, but then you felt him linger and slide against the ring of tight muscle, the tip slightly grazing it. He’s only once attempted entry in your backside, and surprisingly he didn’t even put up much of a fight for it back then, so this set an alarm off in you.

“What-“ you tried to sit up on your elbows and speak up, but you couldn’t. You were vulnerable, wrecked and weak, as if your body unwillingly surrendered to him.

You face planted back onto the mattress as Charles pushed you back down roughly onto it with one hand and then resumed his task, “you trust me, right, baby?” you heard him speak from behind. Your heart started racing. You weren’t sure if you were ready for that. Then you thought back to the first night with him and the small amount of insecurity you harbored resurfaced. The familiar question of trust and fear of losing him. You turned your head to the side and you squinted as you stared at the ring that sparkled harshly from the ray of sunlight that peaked through the crack of the curtains. He just chose to spend the rest of his life with you, but you sold yourself to Charles a long time ago.  

You nodded against the bed, but that didn’t seem to suffice for Charles because the next thing you felt was a sharp pain run through your scalp as he grabbed a fistful of your hair in his hand, neck snapping back to pull your head up.

“No, I need to hear you say it,” he demanded.

You braced your palms in front of you to help support your body in this position before responding to him, “I-I trust you, Charles.”

“You want this,” he stated and you could feel the tip right at your hole.

“I do. I do want this. I want you, Charles,” you confirmed before letting out a low groan.

It was all he needed as he slowly inched the thick bulbous head of his cock inside you. Charles let out a straggled groan at how incredibly tight this entry was. You tried to put on a brave act, but the pain had you second guessing all too quickly.

“Ch-Charles, it’s not gonna fit, baby, st-“ you struggled to speak.

“Shh, baby girl. Yes, it will,” he was quick to cut you off before you could tell him to stop as he tried assuring you while continuing to push his cock all the way in. Wanting to please him, you toughed it out and waited for the initial pain to pass through. It would be worth it in the end.

A new sensation started to bubble up inside of you. It was rather conflicting because on one side you felt as if you were being ripped apart and then the other pleasure began to consume you. Charles filled you and he filled you up really good.

With a quick snap of his hips, he fully bottomed out. You let out a loud yelp from the stinging feeling of his forceful action. His grip still in your hair, he started to build up a rhythm - fast. You hardly had any time to adjust to this new position, but he wouldn’t deliberately cause you any pain, right? The truth was it did hurt at first, but soon enough that sensation that was brewing in your lower abdomen started to boil with each shallow thrust and you were about ready to burst.  

Your head was swimming as he left sloppy kisses to your tear stained cheeks. At some point, your eyes began to water from the pain and pleasure. Your mouth hung wide open and eyes half-lidded, you struggled to keep them trained on him. A particular thrust whipped out a wanton moan out of you, signifying you were enjoying this, and Charles laughed. He was actually laughing at you.

“Ragazza sporca,” he said more to himself. Dirty girl. You were his dirty girl, alright.

You didn’t know what he said, but you still heard him. Your body began to slump forward and he let go of your hair. That now free hand found its way back to the bundle of nerves of your sensitive clit. You were moaning uncontrollably and that boosted his ego. All that could be heard throughout the room was a remix of moans, a faint squelching wet noise and skin slapping.

You let out a small cry when the built-up sensation in you just snapped. The juices from your orgasm started cascading down your thighs, leaving a damp spot on the bed. Charles wasn’t that far behind. It came as a surprise when he pulled out, leaving you gaping and quickly flipped you over onto your back before finally releasing streams of his warm cum onto your stomach even projecting as far as towards your breasts and neck.

“Fotter mi,” Charles said breathlessly while admiring the mess he made upon you. Fuck me. He plopped down on the spot next to you and gawked at your sated form, chest rising and his cum sliding down the curves of your body, “mi fai impazzire,” he commented. You make me crazy.

After a couple of minutes, Charles got up to retrieve a washcloth and hastily cleaned you up for now. He brought the sheet back up to cover your bare bodies and lied down behind you. His hands rested right below your breast with your own smaller ones trying to encase them and his head nestled in the crook of your neck, where he lulled you to rest with litters of sweet kisses, but before you dozed off again you heard him say one last thing, “baby, you and I have many plans to make when we get back home.”

P R E S E N T

You weren’t really sure if those plans were already set in motion or going to happen or what he was exactly even talking about as you sat down at the front steps of the house. You were taking a small break after trying to help clear out the front yard of the destroyed furniture and other objects.

The sisters didn’t seem to want to do it or it was the last thing on their list – most likely having to do with the fear of being caught by someone from the village, so you took it upon yourself. Besides it allowed you to come out and get some fresh air as you couldn’t understand being coped up in this big house for that long.

A slight movement within your distance suddenly broke your thoughts. You squinted to try and get a better look, but what you weren’t anticipating was it be a cat. A black cat was sitting a few feet away from you, staring at you. You started coaxing the cat to you, believing he was a stray. The cat slowly walked in your direction but stopped before studying you.

“Here, kitty,” you continued to allure the cat to you, “I won’t hurt you.” He ultimately was convinced and hopped onto your lap. You let out a small chuckle and smiled as the cat snuggled close to you, “you’re a handsome cat, aren’t you?” you said returning his affection.

Constance’s voice calling out to you pulled your attention away from the feline. You stood up, the cat still in your arms, and before you stepped back inside the house you stopped to think if it was okay to bring an animal inside. Were the sisters allergic to cats? Constance’s insistent request for you didn’t allow you to think too long and you decided to just bring the cat with you. You met Constance in the kitchen and stood a little weary, a bit anxious to see her response to you bringing in an unknown animal into her home.

“There you are! I wanted to ask if you can help with preparing…,” Constance started but once her eyes landed on the cat in your arms, she lost her train of thought. You started petting the cat to keep him calm and waited to see what Constance’s next reaction would be. “Oh, you’ve found Jonas,” she said with a smile now on her face.

“Jonas?” You inquired. She knew this cat.

“Yes, he belongs to Merricat,” she explained, “we haven’t seen him in a few days. Oh, will Merricat be delighted to see him.” 

“Jonas,” you said with more sound, now knowing what to call him.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Merricat from the other room, avoiding your gazes as she tried to quickly walk past the kitchen until she was caught by Constance, who called out to her.

“Oh, Merricat! Come here! We have a wonderful surprise for you!” She boasted.

You heard Merricat’s footsteps draw near and when you turned around to face her, she stopped and stared at Jonas in your arms. She had that same blank look on her face but with a bit more sense of shock surrounding her aura. She must be very protective of Jonas.

You extended your arms out a little to offer her cat back to her. She began to reach out for him, and you took notice of the dirt embedded deep in her fingernails. 

Was she digging something? 

Nonetheless, she quietly thanked you as she started petting Jonas. You gave her a small smile, believing maybe she was finally warming up to you.

Later that night, you were frantically digging through your suitcase in search for your notebook. It was your current notebook, the latest on that Charles gifted to you and the one you were writing in the day before he left. Clothes scattered the floor, toiletries and accessories shoved off and knocked over on the dresser and pillows and blankets all in disarray. Moisture began to build up and cloud your vision, but it wasn’t deterring you from panicking on your notebook’s whereabout.

You plopped down on the bed and heavily sighed in defeat. You could’ve sworn you’d packed it in your bag and taken it with you. It contained a lot of personal anecdotes of you and Charles and other random photos, works or drawings. 

Your life was in that journal. It wasn’t with you and if that wasn’t you, Charles’ absence only felt even stronger.

You just wanted to go home now.

A/N: Well, you survived this chapter. I have the last two planned out, but nothings actually written yet since I’m literally married to my job. 

[tyranttortoise]

*Remember when Edge offered to teach you self-defense? That day is finally here.

I like to drop updates late at night on random Sundays after 4 months of radio silence. 8D

Oh hey!  I’m not dead!  A few people have caught me lurking on tumblr the last week, but I didn’t want to come back empty-handed, so please accept my humble offering of an update!  <3

Sorry about the random, unannounced hiatus.  I know that’s not cool, but I had a lot of crap go on that I won’t bore you guys with.  It got to be way too much, and I lost my words.  I just couldn’t write while I was that miserable.  But, I’m in a better headspace now, and I’ve gotten back into the Undertale fandom thanks to lurking on here and seeing all the amazing new art and imagines people are putting out.  I’ve got more free time again, and I want to get back into churning out imagines and drabbles like I used to, so I’ll put out a formal post about that later.  For right now, I hope you guys enjoy the update!  I threw some plot in at the end of it for funsies.  

Also -- thank you to everyone that sent me a message/ask hoping I was all right.  There’s too many for me to answer, but they meant the world to me.  You guys are way too good to me, seriously.  <333  

[lilacmoon83]

Swan

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 4: Family

Over the next few months, the Swan family settled into their new lives in the mid-sized Midwestern town that allowed anonymity without being lost in the bustle of an even bigger city life like Boston or New York. Snow was teaching third grade, under the name Mary Margaret Swan, having officially changed it from Blanchard upon legally marrying David in this land. It allowed her to use her teaching credentials, without keeping the name Blanchard. And though legally she was Mary Margaret, she had taken to going by just Margaret. She was worried they would call Storybrooke for references, but since outside calls didn't actually go through to the little town that wasn't supposed to exist, they hired her based upon a written recommendation that August had helped her work up.

Normally, she did not like having to do things dishonestly, but she recognized the need for it in order for their survival. August was very adept at surviving in this land and she accepted that this was the reality of their situation.

David had applied at a lot of local places, but really lucked out one day when he and Emma had been out near a local vet that mainly dealt with equine and farm animals that nearby farmers came to. He and Emma happened to be passing by the place, which was on the outskirts of town, not far from their small apartment. There had been an unruly horse and her husband, being the man he was, stepped in and calmed the animal. The vet was so impressed that he had hired David as an assistant to help handle the animals. The pay was not great, but not terrible either and David enjoyed helping with the animals. It was a lucky break for them, considering he didn't have any documentable education in this land. The hours were also good too and allowed him to go in very early and be off in the afternoon in time to pick Emma up from school, which was great since Margaret taught at a school on the other side of town.

David had never really imagined a life like this. When they had first been told of the curse, he actually had not given much thought to the land the curse would be taking them or what it might be like. He soon found that he loved the simple life they had, in which they were able to focus on their family and their marriage. So much of royal life had been daunting at times and the dark cloud of the impending curse had always been hanging over them. This may have not exactly been the life they imagined, but they found they were both enjoying a life free of the duties and responsibilities of royals. Here in this land, they could just be themselves and focus on their love and family. A family that included their precious daughter and an adopted son in August. It was something they were all still adjusting to, but they had both come to love August as their own and it was their hope that he felt the same. And on that day, as he arrived at school to pick him up before they went to get Emma, David would get some insight into just how August felt, as he unknowingly overheard a conversation his adopted son was having with some of his peers.

"Come on man...this is a good offer," a tall boy said, obviously pressuring August about something.

"I told you...I can't. I'm not doing that stuff anymore. I have a family now," August protested.

"You're seriously turning down a huge payday for some so-called family?" another guy asked.

"I love them...they've taken me in when no one else would," August argued.

"Oh please, Booth...you're almost ready to age out. They'll dump you the minute you get too old," the first youth told him.

"Yeah...and they'll never love you as much as they love their biological kid," the second one added. He heard silence from August at that and his heart sank a bit.

"Come on, you know we're right. Didn't your own Dad abandon you? Why would these people be any different?" the first teen urged.

"Because he is my son and you're wrong," David interjected, as he made his presence known. August looked at him in surprise, as the prince whom he had looked up to in awe as a boy stepped in to support him.

"The only place August is going is home, with his family, where he belongs," David said, as they turned to walk away.

"Oh and his name isn't August Booth anymore. It's August Swan," he added, as they walked away and back old truck they had managed to purchase not too long ago. Snow and August had taught him how to drive, so he could get around when Snow was at work.

"Did you mean all that?" August asked, as David put his arm around him.

"Have you ever known me to say something that I don't mean?" David answered with his own question.

"I guess not...but they were right. I'm not even your kid," August replied.

"But we love you like you are and I know that after everything you've been through, that seems hard to believe," David told him, as they got into the truck.

"I know you have issues with abandonment...Emma does too, but we're not going to do that to you," he continued.

"Look at how much you've helped me navigate this world," he reminded. August smiled.

"I was happy to...this world is overwhelming at first," he said.

"Yeah...and you faced it as a kid, by yourself. But you don't have to face it by yourself anymore. You've taught me so much...I was beginning to wonder if there was anything I could even teach you," he replied.

"Are you kidding? You've taught me so much…" August revealed.

"You've taught me about family and the kind of man I want to try to be. I mean, you're this amazing husband and father...I just don't know if I can be that. I guess that's why those guys tempted me. I guess running away when I'm scared is what I've always done," he added. David smiled.

"There was a time that I used to think running away or trying not to make waves was the way to live. But someone taught me that was no way to live. And only when I started standing up for myself and others did I truly realize the kind of man I wanted and needed to be," he told the young man. August smiled.

"And you really were wondering if there was nothing you could teach me?" he teased. David smiled and ruffled his hair, as he started driving toward Emma's school.

~*~

Emma stuffed things into her backpack from her locker and glanced at the recent picture she had pinned inside the door of the four of them. How her life had changed in such a short time. She had parents now. And not just any parents...her real parents. All her life, she had wondered what they might be like and looked like. She wondered who she looked more like and finally knew the answers to those questions. But most importantly, she was happy for the first time in her life. She knew now that they never wanted to give her up and were actually forced to do so. She knew now that they were wonderful people and loved her more than she thought possible. She knew now that she looked like both of them in almost a perfect symmetrical mix of the two of them. Her mother was an actual princess and her father had humble beginnings on a farm before he became a prince. It was surreal, but really exciting that she had come from such heroic and amazing people. Emma had always known she was different, but now she knew why. She wasn't from this world and that was still a lot to take in at times, but she had a family now and that was everything.

Her parents had talked a little bit about the curse, since it was the reason they had all been separated and they had told Emma that someday, they would be going back to Storybrooke, the place where everyone was cursed, to save everyone. But they had told Emma not to worry about that since they wouldn't be going back for a very long time.

She picked her new beanie up and put it on, smiling at the thought of it. Her mother was learning to knit. Apparently, before the curse, Granny had been teaching her to do so. Her parents had told her how Granny was the old woman that had made her blanket for her and was trying to teach her mother to knit. Snow wasn't very good at it yet and her first effort was a bit misshapen and awkwardly stitched, but Emma loved it.

"Nice hat, Swan…" one of the popular girls said derisively. Being made fun of for not wearing the latest fashions and hand me downs used to bother Emma, since it reminded her why she had to. But the reason she had to was different now. She had her real family now and though they didn't have a lot of money, they were together and happy.

"Man, I didn't know even thrift stores sold things that ugly," another girl commented. But she didn't react to them, as she saw her father waiting for her outside with August. They could say whatever they wanted, but she now had everything she wanted. Sure, those girls had families too, but they took their parents for granted and Emma knew that was something she'd never do. Besides, her parents were still in love and Emma had seen enough parents to know that wasn't the case for everyone. They were Snow White and Prince Charming and they shared true love. Emma came from that true love and that was why their words no longer bothered her. After losing hope so young, it had been reawakened in her when her parents walked through a magical door and into her life again. They found her and she had an amazing future ahead of her now. So walking past them without a word or reaction was easy now, which of course infuriated them.

"Hey Princess…" David greeted, as he hugged her against his side and they walked to the truck.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Well, it was school so it was pretty boring," she replied, making him chuckle and he noticed a couple of other girls glaring at her.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. Emma shrugged.

"They're just mean girls, but they don't bother me anymore," Emma replied.

"Can we have grilled cheese for dinner?" she asked. He chuckled.

"Sure peanut, but you know your Mom is going to want you to eat some vegetables," he replied. She wrinkled her nose, as they got into the truck.

~*~

About an hour later, Snow entered their small apartment after a long day and smiled, as she spotted her family in the kitchen.

"Hey…" she said, as she greeted her husband with a kiss.

"Hey you…" he purred, as he watched her kiss August and Emma both on the forehead.

"Grilled cheese again?" she mused playfully to her husband, as she took things out of the fridge to make salad. He shrugged.

"She loves it," he said.

"Okay...but she needs to eat a salad with it," Snow replied.

"We did discuss the eating of vegetables," he said.

"Mmm...and you folded under her puppy eyes and sad pout," Snow teased, as she mimicked Emma's look that she often gave her father to get her way.

"Oh, you mean the same look you're giving me now and have used in the past to get what you want?" he retorted and she grinned at him.

"Touche," she replied, as she kissed him again and they smiled at each other.

"And besides, we both knew this was always how I would be with her," he reminded and she rested her head against his shoulder, as they watched August and Emma banter between each other in the living room. Someday, they knew they would return to Storybrooke for their people and they could still hear Rumpelstiltskin's warning about the final battle that would begin in Emma's twenty-eighth year echoing in their minds. That time would come, but for now, they would continue to embrace this chance to raise their daughter that they had been gifted and be the family they were meant to be.

"I love you…" Snow whispered, as he caressed her face.

"And I love you, my darling," he whispered back, as their lips met in a passionate kiss and they continued to watch their children together with a fondness in their eyes.

[caravanslost]

4 - Loyalty

Characters: Nikandros; Laurent; and Damen (mention).

Tags: Post-canon; I just want Laurent and Nik to be friends so BAD goddamn; can you imagine how happy it would make Damen; can you imagine how happy it would make me. Written for @capri-month.

Laurent says, “I have been negotiating tariffs all morning. My temple feels fit to burst.  Will you walk with me, Nikandros?”

Nikandros had been training with members of the Veretian guard when the young page interrupted him.

Damen had ordered him to the garrison that morning, where seven young men were waiting for him. They stood in a perfect line, their backs rigid with a canny imitation of confidence. They could not have been older than 13.

They were recent recruits, hand-picked by Laurent himself, who had demonstrated enough raw skill with a weapon to be plucked from the horde. They were to receive the privilege of a few hours of training from the Kyros of Ios. Nikandros walked up and down the line a few times, pausing before each recruit for a few moments at uncomfortably close quarters, just to see whether any of them would flinch.

None did. He was forced to admit, begrudgingly, that Laurent had picked a good bunch.

Nikandros went to the farthest wall and selected two swords. He returned to the group, and stood in front of the boy on the far left.

“You, boy. What’s your name?”

“Éduin, Excellency.” He says, his tongue heavy around the last word, delivered in clumsy Akielon.

He was the smallest of the bunch, but his approximation of confidence was the most convincing. Nikandros had trained enough soldiers in his short lifetime to read the unassailable ambition that burned in the rare recruit. He could read it in this boy’s steady gaze ahead, the taut muscles of his neck, and the stillness of his body like marble.

“Éduin.” Nikandros says, and offers him the second of the two swords. “Step forward. Let me see what you can do.”

It takes three strikes for Nikandros to disarm him. Éduin immediately picks up the sword off the ground and resumes his position, the steel in his eyes intractable. The laughter of the other boys peals around them, and Nikandros gives them a look. Silence falls like a curtain on the garrison.

He turns his attention back to Éduin. “You can do better. Try again.”

The next time, it takes a little longer to disarm the boy, and the time after that, a little longer still. He puts him through enough motions to tire a more experienced soldier, but Éduin does not show his exhaustion. He manages to hold onto his sword for almost a minute by the time Nikandros is done with him. Impressed, Nikandros allows him a break and turns his attention to terrorising someone else – Tristan, who had been the first to laugh.

The training falls into a pleasing rhythm of fighting, disarming, and barking instructions about posture and technique. Nikandros has missed the simple pleasure of being outdoors, and fighting. A Kyros spends too much time inside.

The revelry is interrupted several hours later by another young boy. He arrives dressed in the brilliant blue of Laurent’s Pages, a golden starburst emblazoned on the centre of his chest. The boy wears more fabric on one sleeve than Nikandros does on his whole body.

He falls into a deep bow. “Your excellency,” he says. “His Majesty the King has sent for you.”

“Thank you. There are two of them.” He says, and a corner of his mouth quirks when colour flares into the boy’s cheeks. “Which one?”

“King Laurent, Excellency.”

Strange, he thinks. Nikandros signals for one of the servants in the wings of the garrison, who rushes over and relieves him of the sword, offering a damp washcloth in its place. He wipes the sweat off his brow, his throat, the back of his neck.

All the while, his mind sits uneasy. He feels as though he has been summonsed by a parent - and that perhaps, he is in trouble. 

“Did his Majesty specify what he needed?”

“Your humble servant did not ask, Excellency. I beg your forgiveness.”

In hindsight, it had been a stupid question.

“Never mind.” He says. “Thank you. Lead the way.”

--

The Akielon delegation had been in Arles for eight days. His ability to navigate the palace had not improved in that time. There seemed to be three ways from any one point to another, and he found himself walking familiar routes only to end up in corridors he did not recognize. Everything in Vere, it seemed, was duplicitous. Nikandros yearned for Ios.

The young page that had fetched him walked a few steps ahead. Nikandros allowed himself to be led through one grand hallway after another, past galleries and colonnades and atria. No two spaces looked alike. The shock of colour in each space, the tessellated tile-work and the multi-foil arches in the ceiling, made his head hurt.

They stop in one of the many courtyards branching off the palace. Laurent is gazing out at the gardens, hands leaning on the white balustrades, his back straight enough to measure by. He is wearing a circlet instead of his crown, but his hair catches the sunlight so brightly that there is little need for gold.

When he hears the approach of their footsteps, he turns. His expression is characteristically unreadable, and Nikandros knows better than to try and decipher it.

He immediately takes a knee before the King and bows his head. He realizes suddenly that this is his first time alone in Laurent’s company since the Akielon delegation arrived in Vere. He still cannot banish the suspicion that he is in trouble, and wonders mildly how Damen sleeps at night.

“Exal—forgive me. Your Majesty.”

“Rise, Nikandros.” Laurent says, and when Nikandros looks up, he is met with a brief smile. Laurent turns his attention to the page. “Thank you, Henri. You may leave us.”

The page gives a deep bow, and disappears back into the palace.

Laurent turns his attention back to Nikandros. His gaze is sharp, but the hostility of their first few meetings is long gone. A slow and hesitant trust has developed between them, under the mollifying influence of Damen’s company. They had not progressed further than formal civility, but that was good enough.

Laurent says, “I have been negotiating tariffs and importation quotas for grain all morning. My temple feels fit to burst. Will you walk with me?”

Nikandros bows again. “If it pleases your Majesty.”

“You may dispense with some of the formalities, Nikandros.”

Nikandros looks up, and measures a softer look on Laurent’s face. The effect it has at close range is startling.

Choosing his words carefully, he says, “I would hate to overstep the mark.”

Laurent smiles properly, and begins walking. Nikandros falls into step next to him. He leads them down a wide path, flanked by two large rectangular pools, leading out to the first parterre.

“If you overstep the mark, I would spare you.” Laurent says, and then, with a suppressed smile, adds, “But only for Damen’s sake.”

“I think he would forgive you anything. Even my homicide.”

“Intriguing theory.” Laurent says, “But I don’t intend to test it today. Tell me news of Ios.”

This, at least, is more familiar territory. They wind through greener pastures, walls of shrubbery tamed into latticework. Nikandros speaks to him of the justice reforms he has planned, and asks him about the Veretian practice of specialist courts.

Laurent is a natural scholar, and an attentive listener in matters of state—more so than Damen, if Nikandros is an honest man. Laurent solves problems reflexively. He proposes that Nikandros should send Akielon envoys to observe the Courts in Vere, and that when reforms are ultimately implemented, Veretian delegates can be made available to assist. He even rattles off three or four names that immediately spring to his mind, and offers to summon them to the Palace the following day.

For a supposed break, Laurent has achieved a lot, but he seems energized by the conversation. They walk in silence for a while thereafter.

Eventually, Laurent says, “You were wasted on Delpha. Ios is lucky to have you.”

Nikandros does not respond immediately.

But eventually: “I know it was your idea, to barter Ios for my loyalty. Perhaps I should thank you.”

“No. You shouldn’t. It was a means to an end at the time.” Laurent says. “But I have never regretted it, and you have risen to the challenge admirably. Damen is very lucky to count you in his service.”

“Your Majesty.”

“I understand that your first loyalty will always lie with him, as it rightfully should,” Laurent says, and then he stops, and looks very seriously at Nikandros. “But you must feel free to correspond with me. I care to know about Ios. I want to help you, how I can. If you will let me.”

They have reached the topiary, and they are alone. Laurent watches him with an intensity befitting his offer. Nikandros thinks to himself that it feels overwhelming, to be trusted by this man.

“I’m grateful, Laurent.”

The acceptance of the offer – and strangely, even the familiarity with which Nikandros has addressed him – seems to please Laurent.

“Good. You will find,” Laurent says, eyes dancing once more, “that Damen chose me for more than my blonde hair and blue eyes.”

Nikandros flushes to the heavens.

“Gods, is there anything he doesn’t tell you?”

[dailyaudiobible]

09/03/2021 DAB Transcript

Ecclesiastes 4:1-6:12, 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:7, Psalms 47:1-9, Proverbs 22:16

Today is the 3rd day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it's great to be here with you today. Yeah, we’re moving toward the end of the week still getting moved into a brand-new month working our way through a new book, the book of Ecclesiastes, which we talked about yesterday as a part of the grouping of books known as wisdom literature. And Solomon in Ecclesiastes is kind of giving us the lay of the land from the perspective of a person who has lived their life with no boundaries, going after and having access to whatever they could dream of and what that perspective brings when you're older and looking back. So, Ecclesiastes 4, 5, and 6 today.

Commentary:

Okay, as we continue our journey through the book of Ecclesiastes, we are receiving cautionary wisdom. The book is articulating some things where we could be like, this is in the Bible? This is being said out…out loud out of the Bible? And it's not that it's so foreign or strange. It's our experiences. We have experienced many of these things and come to these conclusions of, what am I doing all this for? What is the point of all of this? Where is all of this going? Where does this lead to? Why am I killing myself to do this? Those kinds of questions are things that we arrive at in exhaustion and frustration at times in our lives. It…it's…just…just that when we…we do encounter those kinds of situations we have friends around us that are giving us…feeding us Bible verses of encouragement and we’re doing the same thing to ourselves, which is fine, it's just that Ecclesiastes is doing that. It's letting it be kind of what it is so that it can be a cautionary offering of wisdom. So, let’s just look back at a couple of points of wisdom coming from the book of Ecclesiastes today. And I quote. “I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person's envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” Right? So, this idea that we can one up or we need to stay in competition with each other, it does propel us forward, it does drive us but unto what? What do we get if we win? More stuff and less life? Ecclesiastes is saying this is kind of a…a pointless attempt. It's meaningless. It's like chasing the wind. Or “a dream comes when there are many cares, and many words mark the speech of a fool.” Right? So, restless sleep when there is anxiety, and many many cares and obligations and responsibilities that they…they just keep being churned in our mind, even while we’re asleep. And, so, we wake up tired. I am a person…I have definitely experienced this in my life plenty of times. And it goes on to say, “many words mark the speech of a fool.” Right? So, the one that's always gabbing, the one that's always talking, the one that never listens, the one that never understands the value of silence, that marks the speech of a fool. Or this, “whoever loves money never has enough. Whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.” In other words, enough will never be enough. And that is cautionary and important wisdom because we’re hearing this wisdom from someone who had it all. And, so, this idea, if I could just achieve this place, if I could just arrive at a certain level of security, if I could just have this much than that will be enough because then the things that I want to do I can do. What we’re being told is once you get on that treadmill, it's never going to be enough and in the end you accumulate a lot of stuff and chase the wind or miss life. Or this one. When God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them to accept their lot and be happy in their toil, this is a gift from God. They seldom reflect on the days of their life because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart. So, in other words, a person who is satisfied is a person who understands what they have has been given from God and accepting and appreciating that, having the ability to just enjoy where you are in the process. This is a gift of God. And those who have found that place, they're not always out in front of themselves and they’re…they’re not always living in the past mistakes because they’re occupied with gladness of heart in the now. Wow! Could we…could we use that lesson. So, what we’re seeing is wisdom being dispensed and given to us in such a way that cautions us about the natural tendencies…tendencies we have to try to create an identity that when we reach the conclusion the closing chapters of our lives, we will look back and feel like we wasted so much time, that there was so much meaninglessness. This is wisdom being given to us in a cautionary way so that we get off that treadmill so that we don't follow that path so that we find meaning in where we are right now instead of the hope for meaning in a future that we envision, that will still be in adequate when we get there because we will just need to go on to the next thing and never actually really truly and fully appreciate the gifts that are bestowed upon us by God that have less to do with accumulation and more to do with actually living.

Prayer:

Father, we invite You, of course, like every day, we invite You into what…what we've read, we invite and ask Your Holy Spirit to plant what we’ve read in our hearts and in our lives so that it will stick, so that it will become part of the fabric of who we are and so that the wisdom being offered to us can be heeded so that we can live an abundant life so that we can realize that what that looks like may be different than what our culture is trying to tell us. Come Holy Spirit. May we find satisfaction and contentment in You we pray. In Jesus’ name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it's the website and that is how to get connected and stay connected and find out what's going on around here. So, check that out. If you don't have the Daily Audio Bible app download that. It's free from…from…well…from…from your app store depending on which device that you have. But it's free and you can download it and you can access all of the things that we’re talking about here at the web within the app. There’s a little Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner of the app screen that does what it's supposed to do, it opens a drawer and then you can find things like the Community section. And within the Community section you can find different links to where we are on social media. Also there in the Community section is the Prayer Wall, a very important part of what we do around here around the Global Campfire is pray for each other. It is a beautiful thing, actually, to behold. And on some days, it's extraordinarily humbling to hear what people are willing to offer, like to hear a piece of your life to…to hear your story, to hear your struggle, to hear your victory. It's a humbling thing when that is offered to the community as a gift. And we have always treated that way. We have loved each other well and that's what we will continue to do so. And, so, we pray for one another, and the Prayer Wall is a place to go. It's always happening. There's always things to pray for and it's always open for requesting prayer from those in the community who are there. So, be sure to check that out. It's in the…well…the Community section.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you humbly, with deep gratitude. This mission that we launched…well…almost 16 years ago now and that we just began and have never stopped, and have never missed a day was always centered around bringing the spoken word of God to whoever would listen to it and knowing that it's a rhythm and knowing that so many…so many millions and millions of people start the Bible but so few finish it. So, to be able to navigate through a year to live a year of life together showing up every day around the Global Campfire taking the next step forward together and then praying for one another, if that makes a difference in your world than thank you for your partnership. We wouldn't be here if we weren't in this together. So, there is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, of course, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good afternoon Daily Audio Bible family my name is Josh from Omaha. I just wanted to call in today after attending a funeral of a young man a 53-year-old man. I was prompted to just call him the day before he passed away and I didn't. Again, I was prompted two weeks ago to call in an I didn't hear it and I'm doing it today. My daughter went to school at Creighton University and had an anxiety attack. And since then, we've gone…come to find out that so many young men and women are facing the same thing especially now in our nation today. And we just want to come against the spirit of fear and anxiety, and we want to cast that out. And if you want to join me in the prayer today, I'd really appreciate it. My daughter’s name is Emily and I just want to pray for anybody and everybody that's in our nation today, that they would be free of anxiety. So, would you please join me in prayer? Dear Jesus, we just come against the spirit of the evil one today and I call out him and I ask in Your name Jesus would You just call out anxiety, fear, angst, depression, panic, pain, and suffering and that You would crush them underneath Your feet in Jesus’ name. And I just put a call in and say that you have no hold on our children or adults today or ever from this day on and I cast them out and I pronounce that the battle is won in Jesus’ name. Amen.

My name is Dora and I want…can you please pray for me because I…I am scared and I…I don't want to be scared and I want to believe that God is with me every time I go…

Hello, DABbers this is God's Chosen from Georgia. I'm calling in to ask for prayer for all medical workers in different capacities. Pray for God's protection over them. Pray that God almighty would give them wisdom as to discharge their duties. Pray that God will give them compassion. We pray also, that in everything they do they will see the love of God and the peace that He gives. Pray also for all patients, those whose bodies are wrapped up with pain, those who are dealing with cancer, those who are dealing with terrible diseases and so many others whose conditions are beyond repair. Please pray that God will visit them in a divine way and pray for peace all over the world. We all need Jesus. So, come and save us from all the chaos, the uncertainty, and the decay of the society. Pray that peace would reign, that God will have compassion over all His children.

Hey DAB it's Emmy from Illinois I’m just calling asking for prayer for my dad. He is a retired pastor about to turn 80 this week and has had COVID the last two weeks and was put on a ventilator yesterday. There are thousands of people that he has touched over the years that are praying for him but I'm asking for additional prayer support from my DAB family. I am 28 weeks pregnant and would really love for my dad to meet my baby. So, if you could just pray for that. Also, I'm on my way right now to get my glucose test done for pregnancy. And while I'm not concerned just based on my overall health, but still a little nervous about the idea of having to deal with gestational diabetes. So, if you could just pray. I know that you will get this long after the test is done but just pray for healing in that way as…well…not healing but that I be healthy with that as well. And then just lastly just continued prayers for my marriage and that this baby and just life would settle, and my husband would reach back out to God, find satisfaction and contentment in God. Thank you.

Hi DAB community this is Jeanette from Denmark I wanna send a great big thank you for this continuing DAB ministry. I'm in my 11th year of listening. I was originally from the States and when I began, I really wanted something for my faith also in English that would keep my heart going. It's a little bit difficult when you're an expatriate. My husband started listening about four years ago and right now he's moved on to the chronological reading. He loves being able to listen in the quiet hours in the morning of the afternoon and we've been really blessed by the prayer time. We…we have a community of people who are strong believers here in Denmark. And you guys, we remember you in our prayers so much because there are strong heart ties between Denmark and the United States in the faith community. We love you so much and we want you to know that God is with you. No matter what is going on He is constantly with you and loves you so dearly. He loves us and He loves you and we are as the body of Christ with Christ at the head and Jesus a powerful God. He walked here He was resurrected from the dead and He indeed is coming for his people as well, the bride of Christ. We love you very much. Remember you are a part of something big and it's going to be wonderful. We love you.

[seriestrash]

You Me Her

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 ||

Chapter Fifteen: Riley’s Play

Word Count: 8707

↠ ♥ ↞

Tuesday, the day after the drama club’s afternoon tea, Riley and Caitlin click publish on their final edition of the schools newspaper. A very bittersweet moment shared amongst friends. 

The two girls embrace tightly. Once they part Riley wipes a stray tear from her cheek. 

“Don’t cry you sap.” Caitlin chuckles nervously. 

“Does this mean you go back to not liking me now?” Riley jokes but there’s still a sadness inside her over something ending.

“You know I couldn’t quit you if I tried.” Caitlin rolls her eyes and Riley laughs softly. 

“Are you girls ready?” Harper, Caitlin’s girlfriend, pokes her head around the door. A smile present on her face. 

“Yes.” Caitlin sends Harper a smile and turns back to Riley, “Are you ready to pretend like we don’t know they’re throwing us some sort of thing at the bakery?” 

Riley can’t help but laugh. “Got to love Noah.” 

The three girls make their way to the bakery. Riley over dramatises her humbled reaction to Noah and Kai organising a celebration for the end of their run in charge of the newspaper. 

“He told you didn’t he?” Kai sighs. 

“Yep.” Caitlin pats his shoulder and passes by to grab herself something to eat. 

“Sorry.” Noah shrugs.

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you.” Kai shakes his head. The two aren't annoyed at each other as such but there is definitely something off between them.

“This is so special,” Riley interjects with some positivity, “Thank you.” 

“You are most certainly welcome.” Kai gives her a sweet smile although Riley can feel some pain behind his eyes. 

Roughly twenty minutes into the relaxed celebration Riley is sitting with her friends in one of the booths. With her back to the door Riley's unaware at a few new guests whom enter, that is until Caitlin throws her hand up and calls out across the room, “Eh, Smack! Over here.” 

Riley’s head snaps around and she spots a sheepish looking Smackle standing with Farkle and Lucas. Riley turns her head back towards Caitlin with a quizzical look upon her face.

“She helped us get the paper up and running.” Caitlin whispers. “I didn’t think you’d mind.” Truth be told Caitlin did take quite the liking to the blunt genius but once Smackle pulled out of the paper they didn’t chat too much but part of that comes from Caitlin’s ‘in and out’ of your life nature. 

“I don’t. You just didn’t tell me.” Riley shrugs it off. 

The conversation hushes as Smackle approaches the table. The girl in glasses gives everyone an awkward greeting. Riley subtly turns her head back after noticing Smackle came to the table alone. She meets Lucas’ gaze, he’s sitting in their gangs old spot with Farkle by his side. The Texan gives her a small smile before returning to his conversation with Farkle. 

“Aren’t you going to make some room?” Riley laughs looking over at Caitlin on the opposite side of the booth. 

“Right.” She laughs too sliding in closer to Harper, freeing up space for Smackle in the process. 

Kai didn’t have too many positive feelings towards Riley’s old friend group, even if he didn’t have specific reasons not to, he just relates a great deal of negativity with them because of how upset Riley has been over the years with how everything worked out. Although his annoyance has died down a little over the past month, Lucas is the only one that gets an outwardly irritated reaction from Kai. The drama enthusiast is quite polite when it comes to Smackle, truthfully she was actually Kai’s favourite amongst the other five, not that he rated many of them at all but Smackle seemed to be the one that tried the most with Riley which Kai respected a great deal. 

“Farkle doesn’t have to wait over there.” Riley says awkwardly. 

“I posit he’ll join us soon.” Smackle says but Riley and her both don't believe it to be true. 

Conversation flows between them, Caitlin retells a few funny stories from when the paper first started. There’s a sweet nostalgia building in Riley’s chest and she feels saddened that it’s all over. The energy from both Noah and Kai seems less than usual. Instead of making a public spectacle Riley just quietly observes rather than draw anyone else's attention to it. 

Caitlin leaves first, not out of character at all for her to leave a celebration in her honour before anyone else. Harper hangs around for a little while longer before she leaves and Noah tags along. Kai walks Noah out and then Riley is left with Smackle.

An awkward lull passes but then Smackle speaks up, shocking Riley in the process. “We all really miss you bubbles. I really miss you.” 

Riley is unsure what to say at first but then she decides to go with the truth, “I really miss you all too.” 

“Mind if we join?” Lucas’ voice drifts over. Riley turns to see him approaching with Farkle looking just as sheepish as Smackle did when she first came over.

“Of course not.” Riley smiles. 

“We shouldn’t stay much longer.” Farkle says quietly and directly to Isadora. 

Lucas sits beside Riley and Farkle joins Smackle on the other side. Kai enters again, his mood clearly off as he sits beside Lucas with no hint of irritation present. This even sparks Lucas as odd behaviour as he gives Riley a questioning look. 

Quiet falls upon the group. Riley tries to make things less tense with casual conversation but her attempts fall short. 

“It’s getting late, maybe we should get going?” Farkle says already standing up.

“It’s not that late.” Smackle states but still follows Farkle’s lead. 

Farkle mumbles some sort of a response but the conversation clearly continues as it works Farkle up enough for Riley to catch the end of it when the couple are on the other side of the room. 

“Smackle, she told us she didn’t want to be friends anymore.” Farkle raises his voice. “She didn’t even tell us, she told Maya and then ignored us.” 

Riley find his eyes, another wounded puppy look is shared, this time on Riley’s face too and with that the geniuses exit. 

“Whoa.” Kai frowns as he moves himself over to the opposite side of the table. 

“Is that what they all think of me?” Riley wears a weak smile as she asks Lucas. 

“No. Riley, no.” Lucas shakes his head but fails to give some sort of alternative. 

“I guess it probably does feel like that for everyone.” Riley shrugs a shoulder. 

“Yeah but does anyone stop to think what it felt like for you?” Kai scoffs. 

“Kai, we don’t need to go into this.” Riley shakes her head. 

Another silence. 

“You didn’t tell me you were stepping down from the paper.” Lucas says trying to pick up the mood.

“I’m sorry I had no idea we told each other everything.” Riley jokes lightly but she's not really in much of a cheery mood anymore.

“You told me about the play you wrote.” Lucas coaxes his head victoriously.

“The what?” Kai’s interest peaks.

“Lucas.” Riley scolds. “I told you that as a secret.”

“Sorry.” Lucas frowns. It just slipped out in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“So you’re keeping secrets from me now?” Kai folds his arms.

“Kai, don’t be like that.” Riley frowns.

“It’s fine.” Kai shrugs, clearly upset.

"I think I should let you two talk.” Lucas says standing up. “I’m really sorry, Riley.” Lucas says genuinely before parting. 

“Please don’t be mad at me, I only told him yesterday.” Riley says to Kai once they’re alone. 

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Kai questions.

“Probably not.” Riley admits. “But only because it’s not a big deal!”

“Not a big deal?” Kai scoffs. “You wrote a play!”

“Shh.” Riley hushes him not wanting anyone else to overhear.

“Will you let me read it?” Kai asks.

“No.” Riley shakes her head quickly. “It’s too personal.”

“But I’m your best friend.” Kai pouts. “Please, please, please?”

“No. Never.” Riley shakes her head. “Enough about my stupid play. I want to know how you are?”

“What do you mean?” Kai plays dumb but his mood evidently drops as soon as Riley broaches the subject.

“You and Noah both seemed quiet this afternoon.” Riley says lightly. “Did he accept Notre Dame’s offer?”

“Yeah I went with him to mail his enrolment package on the way here.” Kai nods sadly.

“How long until he leaves?” Riley questions.

“Little over a month.” Kai answers.

“You wanted him to accept it, didn’t you?” Riley asks.

“Yes of course.” Kai says quickly. “It’s just that he’s probably not going to be able to make it back for prom or our grad ceremony.. Three months is a long time- What if Noah meets some cute math whizz and forgets about me.”

“Forget Kai Olsen?” Riley raises a brow. “Impossible.”

“I’m being serious.” Kai pouts.

“So am I!” Riley stresses. “So it’s three months- Then you have four years together and then the whole rest of your lives after that!”

“I haven’t heard back from Notre Dame or any of the surrounding schools yet.” Kai says.

“You’re going to get in!” Riley exclaims.

“How do you know?” Kai folds his arms like huffy child.

“Because you’re Kai.” Riley smirks.

“That’s only cute when Noah and I say it about you.” Kai breaks his sulking with a smile.

“Yeah well I’m not trying to be cute.” Riley smiles.

“Maybe I’d feel better if my best friend trusted me enough to read her play.” Kai sighs heavily.

“That’s not going to work.” Riley pokes her friend.

“Sorry for being interested in my best friends life.” Kai pretends to be offended.

“Fine, you can read it.” Riley rolls her eyes knowing he will never give up. Also, there was a small part of her longing to share it with him, despite how embarrassed and nervous it made her feel. 

The very next morning Riley grows nervous as she approaches Kai in the hall at school. He's walking towards her with with a look of awe. 

“Amazing.” Is the first thing Kai says once they meet by the hole. “Ah-mazing!” Kai waves the papers in his hand. 

“Stop.” Riley looks around embarrassed. 

“I actually cried.” Kai says. “Legitimate tears streamed down my face once I finished.” 

“You’re just saying that.” Riley rejects the praise. 

“Hear me when I say: pure genius.” Kai continues, “Ri, this is beautiful. Powerful!”

“Okay that’s a little much.” Riley giggles nervously. 

“No. Not at all.” Kai says. “Is this how you felt-feel?” 

“It comes from the heart.” Riley nods sheepishly admitting that the play is indeed personal to her. “Can I have it back now?” 

“Sorry no.” Kai pulls it close to his chest. “I called Noah last night to talk about it and he wants to read through it before class.” 

“Kai!” Riley pouts. 

“Love you!” He’s already walking backwards steps back down the hall. As Kai spins around he knocks into Lucas. Uncharacteristically he laughs it off and pats the Texan on his shoulder. “Genius.” Is all he says before continuing on his way. 

“Well that was weird.” Lucas laughs as he approaches Riley. 

“You’re telling me.” Riley laughs too. 

“Was that your play he was talking about?” Lucas pokes his thumb back. 

“He’s exaggerating his reaction of course.” Riley swats the air dismissively. 

“Can I read it next?” Lucas asks. 

“No.” Riley laughs. “Kai has best friend rights, after he shows Noah I’m probably going to burn it.” 

Lucas knows she’s only being dramatic but he still gives Riley a frowned expression. “I have something for you.” 

“What?” Riley is nervous as she watched Lucas fiddle in his backpack. 

“Here.” Lucas hands Riley two frames. 

Subconsciously Riley looks around her feeling anxious about the situation. Riley  looks at the first frames contents a small smile crosses her face once she realises what it is. Riley then inspects the second one and her grin grows. 

“Lucas.” Riley coaxes her head and points her smile towards him. 

“I just wanted to give you something to show how far you've come.” Lucas points at the frame. “You did this.” 

Riley smiles at the gift once more. One frame contains a print of her very first front page of the newspaper and the second is a copy of the last cover she posted just the day before. 

"You have to stop doing things like this.” Riley says but her smile doesn’t falter. 

“Just being friendly.” Lucas shrugs with a grin of his own. 

“Stop.” Riley says trying to control her smile. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Lucas shrugs again and he starts to walk backwards. He still smiles as he turns around to continue walking. 

“Lucas!” Riley calls out and he stops and turns back around. “Thank you.” Riley adds as she taps the frame in her hand. Lucas gives her a simple nod and continues on his way.

Just before final bell Riley receives a notice that Ms. Mitchell wants to see her after class. Once she packs up her things Riley makes her way to the auditorium where her drama teachers office resides. 

Unsure as to why she’s been called into her office, Riley has an anxious feeling bubbling in her chest. Riley knocks on the door and is invited in. She’s surprised to find Kai and CJ both standing in front of Ms. Mitchell’s desk. 

“Please take a seat.” Ms. Mitchell waves her hand. Riley cautiously sits in the seat Kai hovers by. A bad feeling sitting in the pit of her stomach as she has a sneaking suspicion as to what’s about to transpire. She gives Kai a mild scold already anticipating his involvement in this all. He’s purposely avoiding eye contact. It’s just CJ’s presence that confuses Riley about this meeting. 

“During my lunch period today I read over your stage play.” The teachers says and confirms Riley’s worrying suspicion. “And it was absolutely marvellous, having anxiety be a sentient form gives a very interesting depth to the protagonist.” Ms. Mitchell says. 

“That’s exactly how I felt!” Kai cuts in with his own praise and CJ shares of soft chuckle. 

“Now if you wanted to present this to the drama club for a vote on whether or not we bring it to life for the production in April-” 

“What?” Riley cuts in shaking her head crazily. ”No. No, no. No!” 

“Riley, just hear her out.” Kai pleas. 

“I never meant for this to be read by anyone, let alone run it for the entire school to see!” Riley shifts awkwardly in her seat.

“Is this the first stage play you’ve ever written?” The eccentric woman questions. Riley gives her a slight nod but doesn’t speak. Ms. Mitchell continues, “Of course the choice is yours, Miss Matthews. No one is forcing you to present the play but in the same note I do think this would be a spectacular finishing note for your work here in the drama club. Not to mention the sheer talent you’ve shown in a piece written by a beginner. If you later choose to pursue this as career option I say bringing this play to life under the schools funding would be a wise move.” 

“A career?” Riley laughs nervously. 

Ms. Mitchell can see just how blindsided Riley is by this all and how overwhelmed the teen is so she tries to wrap it up for the sake of Riley. “Again I say the choice is yours, dear. Our next drama club meeting is at the end of this month [February] until then I’ve asked CJ if he’d assist you with preparing some musical queues, transition pieces etc. to help the play flow. Kai has already offered to work alongside you in preparing a short demonstration piece for the rest of the club so they can have a real image of your play when we put it to a vote.” 

“Oh how generous of him.” Riley gives a mild side glare to her best friend whom shrugs innocently earning another light chuckle from an otherwise quiet CJ.

The meeting wraps up and the three teens all exit Ms. Mitchell’s office together. 

“I look forward to reading your play if you choose to go through with this.” CJ says. “I’m happy to work during our lunch period or after school, whatever suits you really.” 

“Thank you but I’m not sure I’ll be going through with this.” Riley half smiles. 

“I know Ms. Mitchell can be a little nutty sometimes but she had a good point in there,” CJ pauses to laugh softly, “If you do decide that maybe this is something you could do as a career, having the school fund this play is a great opportunity.” 

“I will keep that in mind.” Riley nods. 

“You know where to find me if you decide.” CJ winks and parts ways with the other two. 

Kai just giggles nervously once he’s alone with Riley. “Surprise...” He begins walking.

“It was a surprise all right.” Riley gives him a look and moves quickly to catch up to him. “Kai, I wrote this play to help myself understand what I went through and to further help me overcome the anxiety I was suffering with. This play was extremely personal and therapeutic for me.” 

“I know.” Kai says genuinely. “But it’s a story of anxiety not your exact story. That’s why I thought it would be alright.... It’s just that this play is so real and relatable for teenagers - for adults even- You have the chance to help reach students going through similar things to you.” 

“What if people find out about-” 

“Mental health is nothing to be ashamed about.” Kai says matter of factly. 

“I know that.” Riley is slightly offended that he’d even imply that she thought otherwise. 

“I totally get that what you went through was private.” Kai softens noticing her offence. “And I know I can be pushy sometimes but I feel like it’s my job.” 

“Sorry being my best friend is such a chore.” Riley scoffs. 

“Ri,” Kai grabs her by the shoulders gently but firmly holds her gaze, “I push because I believe in you. One of these days you're going to wake up and see in yourself what everybody else around you does, but until then I will happily keep reminding you.”

Riley smiles at his sweet declaration but still has a great deal of anxiety towards agreeing. “I’m just not sure.”

“You have the whole month to think about it-” Kai says. “At least just think it over tonight?” 

“Okay.” Riley wears a small smile as she nods. 

The pair coincidentally are approaching Lucas’ locker as the Texan shoves books into his backpack. He sends Riley a small smile not planning on reaching out to her with Kai present. 

Kai’s fiddling with his phone after receiving a text from Noah when he notices Riley give Lucas a small wave. Much to everyones surprise Kai is the one to stop. 

“Maybe Captain America here will have better luck convincing you.” Kai jokes and it shocks Riley that there doesn’t even seem to be a hint of malice in his remark - other than the nickname of course. 

“Convincing her of what?” Lucas asks taking any opportunity to try win over Kai, even a little bit would help him out. 

“That she should present her play for the April production.” Kai says. 

“Kai?” Riley is surprised he’s sharing this with Lucas. 

Kai shrugs. “You already told Lucas about the play so I’m just keeping him in the loop.”

“Yeah thanks a lot.” Riley says sarcastically. 

“I have to meet Noah but i’ll swing by the bakery, you’re working tonight?” Kai is already taking a few steps towards his exit point. 

“Yeah, see you there?” Riley is still confused by his flipped mood but doesn’t question it aloud. 

Riley turns her sheepish smile to Lucas unsure of what to say. He seems just as confused as Riley. “Uh, I’ll walk you out?” Lucas motions down the hall. Riley nods and the two begin their strides. 

“Captain America, that’s a new one.” Lucas chuckles as they walk. “Kai has been… nicer… to me lately, hasn't he?” Lucas laughs. “I’m not imagining it?”

“Kai has been… distracted.” Riley sways her head from side to side. 

“With Noah leaving an all?” Lucas questions.

“You heard about that?” Riley raises a brow.

“We may be on different teams but we share the same Varsity status.” Lucas playfully nudges Riley’s arm.

“I had no idea I was in the presence of royalty.” Riley joke curtseys.

“It sounds like I should be the impressed one. Shakespeare’s reincarnation walks amongst us.” Lucas chuckles. 

“Over exaggeration of the year.” Riley scoffs.

 “So they want to run your play?” Lucas questions. 

“Ms. Mitchell thinks it has the potential,” Riley corrects him in a dismiss way, “It would still have to be voted on by the drama club.” Riley giggles nervously. 

“They’re going to vote for it.” Lucas says confidently. 

“You haven’t even read it, how could you possibly know?” Riley laughs.

“Because I believe in you.” Lucas states. 

“Blind belief.” Riley purses her lips. “That can sometimes get you into trouble.” 

“Hey, you believe in everyone and everything.” Lucas gives her a knowing look. “You have to save some of that belief for yourself sometimes.” 

“You know if Kai didn’t dislike you so much I think you two would get along really well.” 

“Oh yeah and why’s that?” Lucas asks. 

“Because you both care about me.” Riley says bashfully. 

Lucas can’t hide his growing smile but Riley has to set him straight before he gets his hopes up.

“This doesn’t change anything.” Riley waves her index finger. “I can acknowledge the fact that your care for me seems genuine. That doesn’t mean anything has changed about how I feel.” 

“Nothing has changed?” Lucas asks still smiling. “You still don’t even consider us to be friends, not even a little?” 

“Maybe a little-” Riley holds her hand up to stop him from interrupting. “But only a little. You still don’t get to read my play.” 

“Well I look forward to seeing it open night.” Lucas grins. 

“Bye, Lucas.” Riley says not entering into further conversation about her play. 

“Bye, friend.” Lucas chuckles and Riley just shakes her head as she walks away.

The following morning Riley wakes to her alarm with sun spilling through her windows and a newfound positivity that set in overnight. The brunette rolls over and picks up her cell from the side table. A few notifications present but a text from Lucas received only a few minutes before she woke catches her eye.

From: Lucas Friar 6:42am Should Shakespeare be quaking in his boots?

His text is obviously asking if she’s going to put forth her play for the vote. Riley types her reply before they enter some light back and forth. 

To: Lucas Friar 6:46am Do you know any playwrights that are actually alive.. Or at least from this century?

From: Lucas Friar 6:46am I know you, don’t I?

To: Lucas Friar 6:47am I don’t think it counts until the drama club votes…

From: Lucas Friar 6:48am You have my vote.

To: Lucas Friar 6:49am You’re not in the drama club so it doesn’t count

To: Lucas Friar 6:49am But thank you 😊

At school in the morning Lucas is just about to stop Riley but she sends him an apologetic smile before flagging down CJ as he passes.

“Does your offer still stand?” Riley asks sheepishly.

“Of course.” CJ grins. “Does this mean I get to read your play?”

Nervously, Riley hands CJ a copy of her play. The music man looks at the tittle page with a smile. “Cool.” He finds Riley’s gaze again but she lowers hers bashfully. The bell sounds and students begin to scurry off to their home rooms.

“Meet me in the music room after school?” CJ asks as a student cuts between them.

“Thanks, CJ.” Riley nods.

Once final bell rings for the day Riley makes her way to the music room. As Riley approaches the classroom she hears faint piano music playing. Quietly, Riley observes from the doorway as CJ fiddles with the black and white keys. 

“That’s really pretty.” Riley says, startling the boy. “What is it?” 

“That’s actually something I composed.” CJ admits sheepishly. 

“You wrote that?” Riley asks in awe. 

“Yeah. I read through your play during my English class this morning and I got inspired.” CJ says it as if it’s no big deal. 

“You wrote that because of my play?” Riley asks touched. 

“For the final scene actually.” CJ says, “It’s supposed to summarise the journey she’s gone through.” 

“Really?” Riley asks genuinely interested. 

“Yeah. Do you want to hear the full piece?” CJ pats the space beside him on the stool. Riley joins him on the seat and listens as he plays the sweet tune Riley overheard upon entering. In it’s entirety it was even more lovely to hear. CJ explains how each part represents a person or point in the story. 

“I had no idea music could tell stories like that.” Riley says once he’s finished playing. “Without lyrics at least.” 

“So do you like it?” CJ asks with a smile. 

“I love it.” Riley giggles. “I knew you were a talented pianist but I had no idea you composed music too.” 

“If I’m being honest I prefer writing the music to playing it.” CJ says. 

“Is it your thing?” Riley asks. 

“My thing?” CJ lets out a quiet laugh. 

Riley shakes her head at herself for letting Lucas creep through into the moment. “I mean is composing what you want to do?” 

“Yeah.” CJ smiles but he appears to be holding something back. 

“What is it?” Riley lightly presses. 

“I have an audition for Juilliard on Friday.” CJ says quietly.  

“That’s amazing!” Riley beams. 

“Yeah I haven’t really told anyone.” CJ admits. 

“Why not, that’s such a huge accomplishment?” Riley questions. 

“Yeah but if I don’t get in...” 

“Ah, that I can relate to.” Riley nods in understanding. 

“You can?” CJ pricks up a brow. 

Riley backed herself into a corner so nervously she opens up. “I actually applied to three more colleges then any of my friends or family actually know about.” 

“Which ones?” CJ asks. 

“Harvard.. Yale.. Columbia..” Riley shrugs innocently. 

“And suddenly I feel a lot stupider.” CJ jokes. 

“You can’t tell anyone.” Riley says. “Especially Kai. He gets all huffy when he’s not the first to know these things about me.” 

“I can’t say I don’t understand where he’s coming from.” CJ wears a crooked smile. “I like that you told me about about Harvard... and Yale and Columbia.” He laughs and Riley gets caught up in his gaze. 

“Uhh-” Riley bows her head. “So any other ideas about the play?”

Directly after her session with CJ, Riley practically runs to the first person she can think of. 

“Bad bad bad bad, very bad!” Riley bursts through Caitlin’s bedroom door. 

“Gee, Matthews what can I do for you this fine afternoon?” Caitlin puts down the book she was reading. 

“I think I might like a boy.” Riley huffs as she paces around the room. 

“If you're asking for the birds and bees talk I have to tell ya it works differently for me.” Caitlin jokes. 

“I’m being serious.” Riley stops to frown. 

“And so am I... to an extent.” Caitlin sits up on her bed and crosses her legs. “This sounds like a Kai thing.” 

“NoOoOo,” Riley chuckles through the extended word. “If I tell Kai about CJ-” 

“Wait we’re talking about CJ?” Caitlin cuts in. “The piano boy with dimples?”

“Yes.” Riley resumes her pacing. “Who did you think I meant?” 

“Lucas.” Caitlin says bluntly. 

Another nervous giggle from Riley. “This is not about Lucas.” 

“Okay. So CJ..” Caitlin waves her hand for Riley to continue. 

“He was showing me a composition he prepared for my play-” 

“Your what?” Caitlin crinkles her brows. 

“Not important.” Riley shakes her head. “We were just talking and then he’s smiling and suddenly I’m panicking.” 

“So you like him?” Caitlin smiles. “Ask him out.” 

“I can’t ask him out.” Riley gasps at the suggestion. 

“Oh-kay.” Caitlin laughs at her theatrics. “Do you think he may like you back?” 

“That’s not what I’m worried about!” Riley exclaims. 

“What’s the problem?” She presses. 

“Nothing..” Riley shakes her head. 

“I still don't understand why we’re not telling Kai?” Caitlin coaxes her head. 

“I can’t tell Kai because some of my confusion also comes from Lucas.” Riley says all in one breath. Finally getting it off her chest. 

“So this is about Lucas.” Caitlin says knowingly. “You still like him.”

“No. No, no, nOoO.” Riley laughs nervously. “I do not like Lucas.” 

“Yeah cause that sounds totally believable.” Caitlin snorts. 

“Lucas is Lucas, you know?” Riley asks but doesn’t wait for an answer. “All he has to do is flash me his stupid perfect smile and suddenly I’m twelve years old again.” 

“Do we need to get you a blindfold?” Caitlin jokes. “If boys keep smiling at you I think you might explode.” 

“Very funny.” Riley folds her arms. “Mock me in my time of need.” 

“Riley,” Caitlin sighs and tries to approach things with less humour. “You come to me with these problems but you’re never really looking for an answer.”

“You’re supposed to tell me to ignore everything and hope it goes away.” Riley pouts.

“There’s four months left of school. Do you really want to graduate with regrets?” Cait sports a sympathetic smile. “Sounds to me like you’ve got some feelings to figure out. If you’re really not ready to entertain the idea of something romantic with Lucas I don’t know if this weird flirty friendship thing is good for you.” 

“It is not flirty.” Riley says defensively. 

“It’s time to figure this out, Riley.” Caitlin says softly.

“I know.” Riley lets out a heavy sigh. Things were complicating and she knew Caitlin was right, she wouldn’t be able to run away from it all forever. 

↠

In just under a month things seemed to complicate even more for the stressed out brunette. With Noah busy preparing for his early departure Kai seemed to rely on Riley a great deal to fill his absence. Riley continued to work with CJ one afternoon and one lunchtime a week. His sweet nature made Riley melt more with every moment spent with him. Guilt also coursed through her as she noticed Lucas’ apparent jealousy when it came to CJ. Although the Texan did his best to keep a level head it was evident that it bothered him thinking Riley could be moving on. 

With the time Riley spent with CJ and the more clingy Kai seemed to be this past month Lucas pulled back with his advances trying to respect Riley’s space and hectic schedule. Although she couldn't admit it aloud, Riley did miss having Lucas around. This is why she hasn't been able to finally sever all ties with him. 

Now Riley sits in the classroom where the drama club meeting is being held. Ms. Mitchell opens the lines of communication for anyone wanting to suggest what production they’ll run next month. A few ideas fly around before she presents Riley’s play to the group, giving a rough synopsis before Kai performs a monologue from Anxiety’s character. Unanimously the group decides to go forward with Riley’s play. 

After the meeting, Riley anxiously makes her way home to share the news with her parents. The whole play thing was kept from them this past month as Riley didn’t want to leave room for disappointment if things didn’t go the way she hoped. 

Riley takes a deep breath before entering her apartment. Cory and Topanga sit on the sofa with goofy smiles and both turn their heads when their daughter enters the room.

“I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you...” Riley says nervously as she approaches. 

“Honey, I think we know what this is about.” Cory says with a smile. 

“You do?” Riley knits her brows together. 

“A couple letters came in the mail for you today.” Topanga is bursting with excitement as she motions towards the coffee table. Riley follows her direction and spots four large envelopes lined perfectly along the table. 

Riley holds her breath as her eyes notices the different college logos printed on the corners of each of the envelopes. The only four colleges she applied to other than back up schools. 

“Why didn’t you tell us you applied to other colleges?” Cory asks. 

“These other colleges.” Topanga stresses. 

“I didn’t tell anyone- Well I told Mr. Feeny because I asked him to write me recommendation letters but that’s not the point-” Riley nervously rambles, her eyes still glued to the letters on the table. “I knew there’s no chance I would get in so I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Honey.” Topanga says firmly and Riley lifts her gaze. “They’re the big envelopes.” 

“Maybe they're just really sorry I didn’t get in.” Riley laughs and all sorts of nerves pour through. 

“You ready to find that out?” Cory asks softly. 

Riley takes a deep breath and opens four letters that could potentially change the course of her future. 

The next day at school Riley shares the secret results Noah and Kai. 

“YOU GOT IN TO ALL FOUR?” Kai quite literally shouts. 

“Shh.” Riley lowers her gaze anxiously. 

“As if.” Kai hugs Riley tightly. “Literally everyone is going to know about this by lunch.” 

“Congratulations, Sunshine.” Noah says very sweetly. “I knew you had it in you.” 

“Thanks for the brochures.” Riley grins back. 

News spread quite quickly, mainly because Kai told anyone who would listen and Riley nervously thanks people as they congratulate her. The brunette felt very awkward, like she was showing off but part of her liked the attention, it made her prouder of her efforts over the years. 

Two particular congratulations stuck with Riley more than the others. 

“Boy do I feel even stupider now.” CJ jokes with Riley at lunch. 

“Any word from Juilliard yet?” Riley questions trying to pass off the attention. 

“I won't hear until April.” CJ explains. 

Then after final bell Lucas catches up with Riley. 

“What was Princeton too good for you?” Lucas opens with a joke. 

“I didn’t apply.” Riley shrugs. “I heard they’re lucky if they accept more than one student from the same school a year.” 

“Funny, both Farkle and Isadora got their acceptance letters last week.” Lucas gives Riley a knowing look. 

“I’m very happy for them.” Riley smiles back. 

“I knew those brochures weren't for Kai.” Lucas says. “You deserve this, Riley.” 

“Thanks, Lucas.” Riley smiles sweetly and finds herself lingering a little longer than needed. “My parents are having a little celebration thing at the bakery now... If you want to come?” 

“I want to.” Lucas nods lightly. Riley knew that Kai had already invited CJ but still Riley couldnt help herself, she wanted him there. 

A few days later Noah leaves for Notre Dame leaving a very upset Kai behind. Riley is on full time best friend duty from that moment onwards putting all boy confusion to the back of her mind. 

Another month passes and Riley has gained a great deal of confidence about her play. With each and every rehearsal the brunette grows prouder of her efforts and watching it all come to life before her eyes is truly rewarding. 

Riley takes a co-director roll with this production. It meant more to her to oversee it as a whole rather than be in the play itself. A decision Ms. Mitchell happily supported. 

The Junior Sophie - whom played the cowardly lion in the last play - takes on one of the two main leads, she is the character Riley loosely based on herself and Kai plays the roll of sentient being that represents anxiety. after his short monologue presenting it to the drama club, Ms. Mitchell had already quietly made up her mind about him playing the part.

Riley was busy in this month, sure she saw CJ during rehearsals and Lucas was still there every now and then but she grew no closer to sorting out her feelings with everything else that was on her mind. Riley had a lot of her spare time taken up making sure Kai was okay. A few choice phone calls with Noah upset him deeply, especially the most recent when Noah confirmed he wouldn't be able to make it for prom.

Opening night arrives and Riley’s anxiety has flared up but there’s also an exhilarating excitement coursing through her. The crowd is beginning to fill the auditorium and Riley takes a few deep breaths backstage. CJ approaches with his beautiful smile and Riley takes a few more nervous breaths. 

“I know this is your big night and all but I couldn’t wait to tell you.” CJ says with a growing smile.

“Tell me what?” Nerves building as Riley anticipates his response. 

“I got the letter this afternoon, I got into Juilliard.” CJ says excitedly. 

“That’s amazing!” Riley wraps her arms around him in a hug and CJ lifts her feet off the ground and spins her around.

“Oh, hey Lucas.” CJ says awkwardly as he puts Riley’s feet back down on the ground.

“Lucas!” Riley says guiltily like she’s been caught doing something wrong even though she knew she hadn't. 

“I can come back.” Lucas shifts awkwardly. 

“No it’s okay.” CJ says even though he knew Lucas was talking to Riley. “I have to double check the sheet music.” 

“Hi.” Riley says once she’s alone with Lucas. 

“Hey.” He smiles but there’s a sadness behind it. “I have something for you.” 

“It’s not another rose is it?” Riley jokes lightly but the mood is off. Lucas hands Riley something and she inspects it. 

“Is this a hat?” riley laughs. 

“It’s supposed to be Shakespearean.” Lucas plays with the feather. “At least that’s what the costume shop owner said...” 

“Thank you?” Riley narrows her brows. 

“I got it because he’s the second best playwright I know, after you of course.” Lucas wears a weak smile. 

Riley’s smile grows at his sweet statement. “You still haven't read my play.” 

“Yeah but I still believe in you.” Lucas smiles. 

“After this we’re all hanging out on my rooftop, If like if you came?” 

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” 

“Kai has been missing Noah too much to be phased by anything else,” Riley lightly jokes, “You should take advantage of that.” 

“Riley, there you are! It’s time to take a seat.” Ms. Mitchell interrupts the moment. 

“You should go.” Lucas smiles. “This is your big night.” 

“Please come tonight?” Riley smiles. 

“Sure.” Lucas nods. “I’ll see you there.” 

The play went off without a hitch. A completely well received success. A life changing event for the brunette. As Riley stood on stage for her final bow she knew that she might not know which college she was going to yet but she did know what she wanted to go to college for. 

“And now in honour of our playwright, Riley, we’d like to present to you all a special encore performance.” Ms. Mitchell says over the microphone and makes her way back to her seat in the audience. She’s previously been on stage introducing all cast and crew members for the bows. 

“A what?” Riley knits her brows and looks to Kai.

A smile widely plastered on her best friends face as he takes a few backwards steps. Confused, Riley’s head turns from left to right as she feels an arm link with each of hers, two drama club members are on either side of her. Both the students lead her backwards and Riley ends up being sat down in a swivel chair. Riley looks up and finds that all the students from the final bow had either scattered or disappeared, Kai now amongst the missing.

“What is going on?” Riley can’t help but nervously laugh. She turns to Sophie, one of the drama club members that sat her down. The junior is unresponsive other than a wide knowing smile like Kai had moments before. Tyler, the other theatre member that held onto Riley’s arm still stands on the other side of her, he and Sophie push Riley’s chair towards the edge of the stage.

Riley’s head snaps towards the orchestra section as an upbeat piano tune begins to play. CJ is already looking over to her and gives Riley a wink. Another nervous giggle leaves the senior as she turns her attention back towards the stage and she watches the curtains reopen, instantly noticing the set is different from the final scene of her play. The projector screen had been rolled down, a simple brick pattern was being displayed with bold text that reads, ‘Freshman Year’. In front sits a small table and bench like seat.

The words freshman year fades off the screen and just a plain brick wall picture is left behind. Suddenly Kai’s voice bellows through the auditorium. “Too soft to play Danny Zuko? Pfft.” The boy in glasses marches across the stage and stands in front of the projected brick wall. “I’ll show them!”

Riley slaps a hand over her gaping mouth knowing exactly what he’s acting out but still unsure as to why. Confused but in a good kind of shocked state, Riley watches on.

Kai proceeds to dramatically wave a pretend cigarette in the air and fumbles with it when someone else bursts onto the stage. Riley’s shocked to see it’s Caitlin in a brunette wig quite literally wearing Riley’s clothes. The free spirit is over dramatising a pouty ‘boo hoo’ face to the crowd.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone would be out here.” Caitlin’s imitation voice of Riley isn’t new to the brunettes ears. Riley giggles at the very goofy dramatised version of how she met Kai.

“Me either.” Kai shrugs towards the crowd. “Are you alright?”

“Teenage problems, am I right?” Caitlin places two hands on her hips.

“Tell me about it.” Kai exaggerates a nod.

“Well. Bye.” Caitlin says after a dramatic pause. She turns to leave but Kai stops her.

“Wait, maybe we can help each other?” Kai’s eyes widen.

“What did you have in mind?” Caitlin scrunches up her face. Suddenly Sophie and Tyler are out on stage helping both Kai and Caitlin into jackets whilst a few other students are taking away the makeshift courtyard table.

The image on the projector screen changes to a still of Rydell High, the high school from Grease. Both the teens on stage turn around and poke their thumbs down towards the logos on their jackets. Kai the T-Bird and Caitlin the Pink Lady.

“We may not be Danny and Sandy…” Kai shakes his head. “… But at least we go together…” A familiar intro begins to play. A small clip of ‘We Go Together’ from Grease plays and the two do a small part of the freshman play choreography, jazz hands and all.

“I think this beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Kai says once the music fades out and he pulls Caitlin in for a hug. As they embrace a clip of a day calendar pops up on the screen with each day blowing by quickly. Once Riley and Kai separate they pull off their jackets and toss them to either side.

“Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys.” Kai says repetitively as he nods with a wide smile.

“Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys.” Caitlin mimics but with a crinkled expression and the shake of her head. This makes everyone in the crowd laugh, including Riley.

The projector screen continues to play the clip of the calendar days quickly going by as the two teens fake giggle and move around in front as if they were making a mini montage of their friendship and time gone by.

“Summer!” Kai exclaims. A picture of Cinderella's castle shows up on the screen. Both Caitlin and Kai pick up something off the floor that Riley didnt even notice was there. They each slip on two sets of ears, Caitlin has the trademark Minnie ears and Kai sports the Mickey pair. The boy in glasses pulls out his phone and the two dramatise a selfie in front of the iconic castle, thus giving Riley warm and fuzzie feels of their summer trip to Orlando all those years ago.

“Let me see!” Caitlin squeaks and the two huddle together with the phone. “Ah I blinked! Delete it!”

“No I’m saving it as my locksceen.” Kai laughs. Then the screen changes to the actual picture the two little actors were joking about. Riley cringes but still in a smiley way at her derpy Disney selfie.

Then Riley’s two friends disappear behind the big projector screen and a slide show of some of Rileys fondest memories play. Numerous silly sleepover selfies of Riley and Kai together, snap shots from adventures and outings, drama club shots, all posts in chronological order and each photo making Riley feel warmer than the last. Eventually faces like Noah, Caitlin and Harper all join the mix.

The screen then changes to a picture of the halls at AA High. A familiar school bell sound rings through the auditorium and Caitlin and Kai return from behind the screen, Caitlin wearing a different dress of Riley’s and Kai wearing a new shirt.

“Can you believe we’re seniors?” Kai sways on his feet excitedly. “This year is going to great- more than great!” Kai bounces on his toes.

The two then stand still and a ‘six months later’ sign flashes on the screen before the same picture of the halls pops back up.

“How has nothing gone to plan?” Kai whines once he unfreezes his position.

“Teenage problems, am I right?” Caitlin places her hands on her lips like the beginning of the ‘play’ and the crowd chuckles.

“But at least we have each other, right?” Kai coaxes his head with a sweet smile.

“Nah,” Caitlin says, “I’m bored of this. I don’t want to play Riley anymore.”

“Cait!” Kai pretends to be thrown off by her scripted declaration. Laugther ensues as people can’t completely tell if this was planned or not.

The free spirit pulls off her brunette wig and tosses it to the side. “Make Matthews play herself for the final scene.”

“Well okay!” Kai says positively and walks over to where Riley sits. Kai takes her by the hand and leads her towards the centre of the stage where the fake courtyard has now been reset. Kai helps Riley up and they both sit on the table top.

“You’re insane.” Riley whispers, she’s too overwhelmed to be embarrassed by the attention.

Kai gives Riley a wink before coaxing his head. “You’re the Jan to my Putzie, the Dorothy to my Tin Man, the Minnie to my Mickey- I thought this would rhyme better.” Kai points a purposeful shrieky face towards the crowd and laughter spreads. He turns back to Riley and holds both her hands in his. “Now I’m not saying our meeting was fate but I would love if that meeting lead to you being my prom date?”

Riley rolls her head forward with a laugh of sheer amazement. “That’s what this is?” Riley asks with a goofy smile plastered on her face.” Her voice isn't projected into a microphone so only Kai can hear her.

“What do you say, Ri?” He asks with a sweet smile.

“Of course I’ll go to prom with you.” Riley grins.

“She said yes!” Kai shoots up with hands extended in the air and the crowd erupts into cheers. The rest of the drama club and crew members who were in on this run back onto stage, Caitlin included, bowing before joining in on the applause. All sorts of confetti flies around as Riley’s best friend helps her to stand up too so she can get the attention she deserves.

Kai pulls off his headset microphone and gives Riley another hug.

“I was going to ask you to prom.” Riley says as they part. She had genuinely been planning on it only a day before, she wanted to make prom special for her best friend especially since he was so down about Noah not being able to make it. 

“I thought you might so I made sure to give you the proposal you desvre first.”

“I guess it helps being super social, means you have lots of people willing to help you with over the top things such as this.” Riley has to shout a little to be heard over the commotion.

“Nah,” Kai shakes his head, “No one wanted to help until I told them it was for you.”

The look on her best friends face had Riley know he was sincere and the statement and this whole gesture itself had Riley on the brink of tears.

Afterwards all cast and crew wind up on Riley’s rooftop like she had planned. She’s making her rounds through the crowd, a gaze always wandering around other people.

“I can’t believe you agreed to do that on stage.” Riley laughs at Caitlin. 

“I told Kai I wasn’t going to let anyone else make fun of you like that.” Caitlin smirks. 

“And I told her that it wasn’t making fun of you!” Kai laughs. 

 Riley’s eyes wander again and a smile creeps on her face once she spots Lucas enter through the door. The brunette excuses herself from her current conversation and skips over to him. 

“There you are.” Riley pulls him in for a hug, her excitement transferring into an extra warm welcoming. 

“Your play was amazing.” Lucas praises genuinely. “I didn’t doubt it for a second but you still blew me away.” 

“Thank you.” Riley coaxes her head with a smile. 

“And that was some promposal, huh?” 

“Very big commotion.” Riley laughs. 

“You deserve the attention.” Lucas smiles. “Definitely beats anything I would have come up with.” Lucas says and Riley was unsure if that was him unwittingly admitting to planning on asking her not. She doesn’t bring it up instead she pokes at his seemingly off mood.

“What’s wrong?” Riley questions. 

“Nothing.” Lucas shakes his head. 

“Come on I know you better than that.” Riley says. “What’s up?” 

“This is your night, Riley.” Lucas smiles. 

“I’m not giong to be able to focus on anything else until you tell me what’s up.” Riley states. Lucas still looks reluctant but Riley tugs at his sleeve and leads him off the rooftop and inside into the quiet. 

“What’s on your mind?” Riley asks again. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything.” Lucas finally speaks. 

“I know.” Riley laughs unsure of why this is being brought up. “In fact I believe I told you that very fact myself.” 

“I know you like CJ.” Lucas holds Riley’s gaze. 

“How could you possibly know that?” Riley shifts nervously. 

“Because you look at him the way you used to look at me.” Lucas says solemnly. 

“Lucas-” 

“I’m not trying to guilt you, Riley and I’m not giving up either.” Lucas says. “But I will step back and give you time to work things out with CJ without the added pressure of my persistence, because I owe you that.” 

“I don’t know what to say.” Riley is genuinely at a loss for words. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” Lucas says. “I just want you to know that I’m still in this thing until you say otherwise.” 

Riley knew in that moment she could have cut all ties, apologised and maybe one day some sort of friendship could be salvaged from the mess but she didn’t. She let him walk away as an option and hated herself for it. Lucas may of hurt her but she knew it wasn’t fair to continue going on like this. 

Graduation is vast approaching and Riley was determined to graduate with no regrets. This all had to end. 

End Notes: SO THIS IS LONG. I hope y'all are staying with me so far... Somethings are changing!! Riley is v confused and also feeling guilty for feeling!! 

I hope none of this is received wrong. I don't want anyone to think that ANYONE in this story is emotionally manipulating anyone in anyway because its not my intent to portray them that way. 

NEXT CHAPTER: P R O M !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! King? Queen? Riley? Lucas? Kai? CJ? No regrets?

soz for errors its too long for me to be bothered editing efficiently sdlghdfkjh

[hannahmhancock]

Home Sweet Home To Me

About this time 5 years ago, I received a beautiful letter in the mail: I was accepted to the University of Tennessee. It was a dream come true. I loved Knoxville. I always had. My dad raised me to cheer for the Vols and wear the “gaudy” orange my entire life - no matter if we were winning natty’s or taking L’s.

As you know, the Lord sent me to a place that was a sea of red and black - and I’m so thankful. I love my dawgs, and my heart is for them. Not to mention all the incredible people, life experiences, and ways God moved in me during my time in Athens. Attending a university and being there during the biggest times of adversity or one of the best seasons you’ve ever seen, you can’t help but the team be your #1. I, however, still love my boys in orange (although I’ve never been able to admit that), they just took a second place spot.

Fast forward 3 years. I’m applying to graduate school. Again, I get accepted to Tennessee. And again, as you know, I went to a place, a different place, that was a sea of red and black. (but still Georgia is obviously my number 1). And again, am I so thankful the Lord sent me somewhere other than Knoxville.

I’ve prayed for an opportunity to live in the hills of Tennessee my ENTIRE life. And every chance I got, God prompted my heart and said, “no, not yet.” And every time I was disappointed. But now, with all the excitement in the world, I am proud, humbled, and honored to be moving to God’s country of Knoxville Tennessee (sorry, I like to exaggerate for effect).

About 7-8 months ago, I found out my internship in Louisville was not going to be able to hire me full time. Extremely bummed (because I LOVE my job here), I looked to Taylor and said “what do we do?” So we started praying. Praying for guidance, clarity, opportunities, etc. We prayed that the Lord would make it clear where we are called to be so we can glorify Him most. We had this crazy idea in our heads that maybe, just maybe, Knoxville could be this place. Now for those of you who don’t know both sides of the story, Taylor had also been in my shoes almost his entire life: wanting the opportunity to move to Knoxville and every time he had the chance, he felt the Lord say “no, not yet.”

As we began praying for clarity, I started reading a book called “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson, where he challenged readers to circle their prayers around their God given passions, desires, etc. and to fervently, boldly, and expectantly seek the Lord in this circle, all the while of not using the “well, if it’s in your will” as a cop-out. Now, this book and my circling of prayer can be taken extremely out of context if you don’t know what Mark Batterson is trying to convey in its’ entirety, so I encourage you to look further into it if you don’t understand where I’m getting at.

And so, we prayed for Knoxville. For 8 straight months. And you know what? For 7 months and 3 weeks, we heard nothing. This is not to say the Lord didn’t hear our prayers, our cries, our anticipation, but what it does say is that God allowed us to receive “no’s” from places and silence from others so he could ultimately answer this prayer we had circled. 

And let me tell you, the last 8 months have been the hardest 8 months of my life. I’ve applied to probably no joke, over 200 jobs, of which I only heard back from about 4. When we felt like Knoxville was getting us nowhere, we started to look in other areas, and still received silence. I received a heartbreaking no from a job I thought was a guarantee for both Taylor and I. I had times where I grew tired of praying and seeking the Lord and just waited in passivity, without prayer. (Let me tell you - that only makes things worse). I cried. I worried. I grew anxious. I grew frustrated. I took out my frustration on my loved ones. 

And one day, after receiving that heartbreaking no, I gave up my passivity towards the Lord and got on my knees. Taylor and I began to pray more and quite differently than we had been the last several months. In some ways, I think we just thought an opportunity would fall on our lap, but what I didn’t fully understand in my mind is that whatever job I got, was only because of the Lord.

We began to fervently pray, again. We improved our discipline in the word and in prayer. We sought God where we were. We decided to continue to serve and love on others around us, while we still had the chance (in Louisville). And the crazy thing is - the moment we got our priorities straight, opportunities began to open up everywhere. I had two interviews in Chattanooga, one in Waco, Texas, and one in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As I went through this process, Taylor and I continued to pray for open hearts and minds to wherever the Lord sent us, but we also still prayed that if it was the right time, we could go to Knoxville. As the interviews progressed, we still were unsure. I prayed for only one opportunity so I wouldn’t doubt where God was sending us. But, that’s not what happened. I received a call last week with the opportunity to fly to Waco, Texas for a job. While open to the possibility at the beginning, Taylor and I knew Waco was not it. I was encouraged by many to travel out there anyways for the experience, interview opportunity, and so on. As I went on a 17 mile training run last Thursday, I was riddled with anxiety. While everyone around me encouraged me to go, I could not consciously waste their time, and act, in what I thought, could be disobedient to the Lord by going out there. I stopped at mile 12, called the Waco people, and told them no. 

While I was at such great peace about turning them down, I was still a nervous wreck. I had just taken a huge leap of faith and trusted that the Oak Ridge (or possibly another job) would work out. You see, a few days earlier I had interviewed in Oak Ridge for the event manager position. It was the job I had dreamed of in the place I had dreamed of. But my nerves got to me and I thought I bombed the interview. I prayed so hard to the Lord almost every hour of every day last week for the interviewers to show mercy on me and to hear by Friday at 5:00 if I had gotten the job or not. I had another job possibility in a different town, but didn’t want to pursue it unless I knew Oak Ridge wouldn’t work out.

Guys, last week was tough. I was nervous all week. I hardly slept. I Thought I would be back at ground 0. I pleaded with the Lord many times. I was extremely blunt with Him. I continually humbled myself knowing the only way I would get this job is if it’s His will, not if I’m qualified enough or if it’s what I want.

Friday morning rolled around and I was still just as anxious. Taylor and I hopped in the car to drive to Effingham for the weekend and I began to pray. The Bible App verse of the day was Galatians 6:9, “So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.” Literally the Lord knew I needed that verse. Ironically enough, the Lord has shown me that verse in very similar life instances: applying to undergrad, grad school, summer jobs, etc. 

About an hour into the journey I got a call, and to my surprise, I was offered the job! I was extremely blown away and extremely grateful. Taylor encouraged me to take a moment to pray and be thankful to the Lord before we moved forward. So we pulled off the interstate, took a moment and gave thanks to God.

Now that I’ve written a novel and probably lost your attention, I write all this to say: Don’t. Give. Up. Many days over this season I’ve been so close to throwing in the towel and applying for a job I knew I could get, but would want to pull my hair out. 

Taylor and I fervently praying through this season doesn’t mean that God just gave us what we wanted because we asked for it. I firmly believe God is sending us to Knoxville because we can glorify Him most there. But I also think the Lord knows our hearts, our passions, and our desires (because He gave them to us), and I believe He wants to use that for His glory! 

Through this journey, I got very tired of people saying, “it’ll work out, in His time”, or “it’s not the right time”, or “The right job will happen for you”, etc. And while I knew all this to be true, that God REALLY does have me, I was tired of it. I also knew that once I got to the other side, the previous 8 months would seem to make sense and be worth it - and it is. But through the monotony and continued rejections, we persisted in trusting the Lord. 

Friend, I’m not sure where you’re at. If you’re in the same boat I’ve been, I know your pain; I know your struggle. But please cling to and remember Galatians 6:9. I’m not sure why you’re in the position you’re in, but I know there’s a reason for it - a Perfect, divine reason. Don’t give up, for you’ll reap in the right time. God honors those who faithfully pursue Him - all for His glory. He hears you. He feels you. He loves you. He knows you. He’s got you.

All the times Taylor and I heard, “no, not yet” to move to Knoxville never made sense until now. Had I moved there for undergrad, I never would’ve met some of my very best friends, nor grown the way I needed to like I did in Athens. Had I moved to Knoxville for grad school, I never would’ve met Taylor, met the most amazing friends, or even found out my dream job DOES exist. And now, here I am, 5 years after my initial attempt to move to Knoxville, beyond excited for the next journey, forever grateful for the opportunity.