#please I don't know if I can/should tag this as anxiety or panic or what those terms are lost to me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slytherinslut0 · 1 year ago

Text

MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me

Chapter Fifteen-Info: You and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.

(This will essentially be a toxic book where we are Theos fucktoy. No love here, very minimal fluff.)

Tags: this chapter is literally just angst. complete freakin angst. two broken hearts that refuse to acknowledge it. pretty poetical. i know i said no love but now im not so sure.

****FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.

"You're coming with me, Emily," you asserted, arms crossed over your chest, your eyes narrowing at her as she was lazily sprawled out on her bed, clearly uninterested in your predicament. "There's no way in hell I'm going alone...you can bring Michael."

Emily let out a dramatic groan, her hands instinctively flying to rub her tired eyes. "But...there's a Gryffindor party that night too...we'd much rather go to-"

"Emily!" you interrupted, advancing across the room toward her bed. You leaned against the footboard, your expression pleading. "Please, please...after everything that happened with Berkshire, I'd prefer not to go back into their bloody common room by myself...plus I don't even drink! Like I don't even know-"

"Okay, okay!" Emily hastily sat up, cutting you off as she sensed your rising panic. "Gods, you're giving me a headache...I'll talk to Michael about it..."

A sigh of relief escaped you, but the tension still clung to your shoulders like a heavy cloak. You spun around, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on you as you threaded your fingers through your hair in frustration, each strand a tangible reminder of your racing thoughts.

Your mind buzzed with a whirlwind of worries. What should you wear to fit in yet not draw too much attention? How would you deflect offers of drinks without seeming rude or standoffish? And most pressing of all, how did you even find yourself entangled in this mess? The truth was, your inability to refuse others had led you down this labyrinthine path, a maze of social obligations you couldn't escape.

Emily's voice broke through the heavy silence, as delicate as the softest feathers--cautiously adjusting her tone now that she'd sensed just how stressed out you were.

"Hey, you'll be fine," she reassured, her words a gentle caress in the midst of your turmoil. "You're with Tom, he'll make sure no one bothers you, I'm positive of it."

Emily's comforting words washed over you, but beneath the surface, your thoughts spiraled into a tumultuous whirlpool. The past two weeks had been a stark contrast to the passionate chaos you'd experienced with Mattheo. Since ending things with him, your tutoring sessions had turned quiet, punctuated only by the distant echo of pages turning and the bland murmur of academic based conversations.

Although Mattheo continued to give you his full undivided attention in your sessions, the silence hung heavy between you, a reminder of the void left by your fractured connection.

And in the midst of this emotional vacuum, you found unexpected solace in Tom's company. The regular meetings continued, but they had expanded beyond the boundaries of academics. Flirting had entirely woven its way into your conversations, each playful word adding a charged tension to the air. Now, his invitation to the party on Saturday night dangled before you like a tempting, yet daunting, prospect.

However, regardless of his advances, your feelings for Tom were far from romantic. It wasn't love that stirred your heart when you thought of him, but rather a sense of obligation. The Guild, with its intricate web of social dynamics, demanded a delicate balance. To maintain your position, you felt compelled to go along with Tom's desires, to keep up the facade of mutual interest. It was a game you didn't want to play, but the stakes were too high to ignore.

As Emily's reassurances attempted to quell your anxieties, the knot of obligation tightened in your chest. The looming party represented not only a night of uncertainty but also a reluctant sacrifice to uphold your standing in the Guild. The weight of your choices pressed down on you, a reminder that sometimes, obligations could feel as suffocating as the absence of passion.

"Yeah," you responded, your voice a grumble underlined with frustration. "Talk to Michael and let me know what he says... I'm heading up to the Tower, I just need some time alone."

Emily's expression softened, sympathy flickering in her eyes. "I'll handle it," she assured you. "Take your time up there, lots of stars to count, wouldn't want to miss one because you're rushing..."

You rolled your eyes at her snark, chewing on your lip to stifle your grin. "Yeah, yeah." You said. "Thanks, Em."

With a bleak smile, you grabbed your bag and pushed out of your dorm room, mind racing as you made your way up to the tower, the castle covered in its usual blanket of darkness, given it was already past eleven pm.

You thought back to that first week of tutoring sessions after you and Mattheo had called things off, how every moment spent in his presence felt excruciating. Sitting in such close proximity to him--being forced to look into his deep, intoxicating eyes, trace the scars that adorned his skin, and fixate on those perfect lips while knowing you'd never get to be anything other than platonic was a torment for your already aching heart.

For those initial days, your mind was a battleground of conflicting emotions. Thoughts of what it had felt like to have his hands exploring your body, pulling you close against his firm frame, haunted your every waking moment. His newfound silence only served to further infuriate you, although the reasons for your frustration remained elusive--you had wanted this separation, knew you needed it more than anything, yet part of you resented how effortlessly he seemed to cast everything aside, as though it had all been a meaningless fling to him, despite the amounts of passion you'd experienced.

The internal turmoil left you in a relentless tug-of-war between contentment and bitter disappointment. With every missed touch, resentment began to coil in the pit of your stomach. Despite yearning for the way he made you feel, your chest was a maelstrom of conflicted emotions. Gratitude warred with irritation; you were thankful that your life lacked complications that could jeopardize your post-graduate career, yet infuriated that Mattheo hadn't even tried to fight for you.

It stung, the way he seemingly dismissed you as though you were just another girl, another notch on his belt, disregarding the depth of what you shared.

Or, you guessed at this point, what you thought you had shared.

As you settled into the quiet solitude of the Astronomy Tower, the vast expanse of the night sky above became your sanctuary, the stars twinkling like distant diamonds against the vast canvas of space. It was your haven, a place where you could lose yourself in the mysteries of the universe. Surrounded by your celestial charts and notebooks, you immersed yourself in your research, the quill in your hand gliding over the parchment as you recorded your observations.

In the midst of your cosmic exploration, a sudden intrusion shattered the tranquility of the Astronomy Tower. Mattheo, his presence unexpected, settled down beside you. The mere sight of him sent your pulse racing, a rapid drumbeat in your ears. You shot your head around, scanning the surroundings as though you'd forgotten where you were, your mind racing with questions. Why the fuck was he here? The unexpected encounter left you beyond shocked, your eyes wide with surprise and curiosity.

"Matt-" your voice faltered, the surprise of his presence momentarily stealing your words.

"Couldn't sleep," he muttered, his voice carrying a weight of restlessness, as if the night sky outside held answers he desperately sought. "Don't allow me to interrupt."

He cut you off before you could regain your composure, not even bothering to spare a glance in your direction. His eyes remained fixed on the stars, his silence echoing louder than any words he could have spoken. The unspoken tension between you hung in the air, heavy and palpable, a reminder of the unresolved emotions that lingered beneath the surface.

"Um, okay." You cleared your throat, attempting to steady your voice, and resolutely returned your focus to the celestial tapestry above.

The stars glittered, seemingly oblivious to the complicated tornado of emotions unfolding below. As you continued your silent analysis of the night sky, you became aware of Mattheo lighting up a cigarette. His movements were deliberate, every flicker of the lighter, every draw from the cigarette, seemed to carry a weighted significance. Despite your attempt to ignore him, you could feel his eyes on you, his gaze like a tangible presence that bore into your skin, even without direct contact. The night stretched on, the only sounds the soft crackling of burning tobacco and the occasional rustle of paper as you made notes, each moment steeped in a tense stillness, waiting for something to break the fragile equilibrium.

And then, Mattheo's voice sliced through the quiet of the night, his question hanging in the air like a challenge. "What are you even doing?"

His question caught you off guard, a shock registering in your eyes as you assumed he was merely asking to mock you. Nevertheless, you gathered your composure, your passion for your research overcoming your initial surprise.

"I'm studying how stars and planetary alignments affect magic," you explained, your words measured yet enthusiastic. "The positions of celestial bodies influence magical energies, shaping the potency of our spells. Understanding these cosmic patterns is like deciphering the universe's manual for mastering magic."

Mattheo's eyes narrowed, a hint of skepticism coloring his voice. "Stars affecting magic?" he said, his tone dismissive yet laced with a sliver of intrigue. "Seems a bit far-fetched, Raven."

His words hung in the air, laced with icy indifference, yet there was an undeniable glimmer of curiosity, a flicker of interest that betrayed his cold exterior. You met Mattheo's skepticism with a determined gaze.

"It may sound far-fetched, but it's already been proven that magic is intertwined with the cosmos," you replied, your voice steady. "The alignment of stars and planets creates unique energy patterns. Understanding these patterns can give us an edge in harnessing magic. It's not about belief, it's about tapping into the natural forces of the universe..." you let your words linger for a moment, finally dropping your quill and releasing a long sigh. "Why are you always so dismissive of everything? Don't you have dreams Mattheo, don't you have passions?"

Mattheo took a slow drag off his cigarette, the ember glowing brightly before he released a plume of smoke that danced in the air, curling and twisting like ethereal tendrils. His eyes, usually guarded, met yours, holding a glimmer of something unreadable.

"Everyone dreams, Raven," he said, flatly. "But life isn't a fucking fairytale, sometimes dreams are crushed before they're born."

Your silent reaction spoke volumes as you studied his face, the way his chocolate curls framed his brooding eyes, holding countless secrets within their depths. Mattheo's words slowly dug into your shoulders, heavy with the weight of harsh truths. You released a long sigh, the reality of his words settling in, before you cautiously spoke.

"If everything was dipped in gold, it'd never grow..." you whispered, your voice soft yet resolute, as you turned your eyes back to the stars. "And not everything sweet is sugarcoated, Mattheo...sometimes life stings, and you have to fight for what you want, but that doesn't mean you toss away the wand, does it?"

For a moment, Mattheo's silence hung heavy, punctuated only by the soft exhale of smoke curling from his lips. The tendrils of fog obscured the canvas of stars, casting a mysterious veil over the night sky. When you turned to meet his gaze, you discovered his eyes already fixed on you, their depths shimmering with an enigmatic intensity.

"Even stars burn out, Raven," he said, his voice a low, gravelly murmur that seemed to echo the somber truth of the universe. "Sometimes, there's nothing you can do but watch."

Something panged in your chest, a jolt of pain spreading through you as Mattheo's words settled into the night air. For another brief, fleeting moment, your eyes met, and there was a flicker of understanding between you. You glimpsed his lips, and he glimpsed yours, a silent exchange of unspoken sentiments.

Swiftly, you looked away, turning your attention to the moon, its silvery glow casting an ethereal light upon your face, silently gathering yourself as you fought off the heat that was swarming your cheeks.

"You know what I appreciate more than the stars?" Mattheo's voice cut through the night, a hint of intrigue in his tone as he finally shifted his gaze off of you. "The moon."

You raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "And why is that?"

"It's the one constant," Mattheo replied, his gaze fixed on the night sky. "Stars might fade, flicker, but the moon persists...it's just...there." His voice was calm, almost distant, as if he was lost in thought. "No drama, no shows...just silent influence--one that can pull an entire fucking ocean from shore to shore...that's a power that can't be diminished. Subtle, yet absolute."

You nodded slowly, your eyes meeting his in the dim light of the night. The world around you seemed to fade away as you felt your pulse increase, an unspoken tension hanging between you.

"Silent influence," you murmured, your voice thoughtful. "A power that commands without demanding, a force that shapes without shouting…I think it’s a potent reminder of strength in simplicity."

"Beauty, too," he whispered, his voice almost a caress. "A reminder of the beauty in simplicity."

The words danced around you, laden with prescribed meaning, and you couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to this conversation, something unspoken yet deeply felt. A vast silence filled the space around you, thick with a growing tension as Mattheo's eyes, intense and unreadable, locked onto yours, their depths echoing a multitude of emotions. You felt his fingers graze against yours as they were planted on the ground next to your thigh, a subtle yet electrifying touch.

At the feeling of his flesh grazing yours, even in as something as simple as this, your breath hitched, and a rush of heat surged through your body, making every nerve ending tingle with anticipation. After two whole fucking weeks, just as you’d finally stopped moping, just as you finally felt as though you could breathe without thinking about him, it was as if the universe itself had conspired to bring you two together in this charged moment, leaving you both suspended in a space where words were unnecessary, and the raw connection between your souls spoke volumes--his hand, touching yours, this is how galaxies collide, you thought.

"It's been two weeks since you've even bothered to bloody look at me, Mattheo..." you whispered, your voice trembling like fragile autumn leaves in the wind, scared to acknowledge the reality of your situation, but knowing you needed to. "It all meant nothing to you, yeah?"

Mattheo's gaze remained unwavering, his expression stoic and seemingly emotionless as he absorbed your words. His silence spoke louder than any response he could offer, leaving you with a hollow ache in your chest. The pain of his indifference cut deep, a stark contrast to the fiery passion that once consumed both of you.

Finally, he spoke, his voice low and filled with a restrained yet undetectable emotion. "Even if I said it didn't, would it really fucking matter, Raven?"

At his words, your heart rung, realizing that no matter how desperately you clung to the fragments of what you once shared, the reality was undeniable--the passion that once ignited between you two had flickered out, leaving only smouldering embers in its wake, and there was no reason for you to be upset over it--given that this was exactly what you fucking wanted.

Yet, with a heavy heart, you turned away, your gaze fixed on the distant horizon, searching for solace in the vast expanse of the night sky. You found yourself unprepared for the intricate complexities of your current reality--finding it amusing how your parents had dutifully cautioned you about the monsters lurking under your bed and the cruelty of schoolyard bullies, but never bothered to forewarn you about the captivating chaos that a disheveled boy with pretty eyes; ones that seemed to hold the fucking galaxies in their midst, and a demeanour infused with smoke and silver-tongued eloquence, would bring into your life.

"It would matter to me, yes." Your voice quivered as you confessed, the vulnerability in your words palpable in the night air--you kept your eyes fixed out in front of you, not daring to look at him. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, Mattheo..."

Mattheo scoffed, pulling out another cigarette, his movements deliberate yet filled with a sense of bitterness.

"You seem perfectly happy distracting yourself with my brother," he retorted, the words laced with a harsh edge.

Frustration welled up within you, your hands rising to your face as you rubbed the tension from your eyes, trying to find the right words amidst the chaos of emotions.

"Gods, you're unbelievable...that's exactly what ruined us, Mattheo," you said, your voice firm and weary. "Your constant issues with your brother, your need to control every damn thing... I just can't decipher your fucking intentions. Whatever 'us' meant, it drowned in the chaos you brought into it."

Mattheo's expression remained unreadable, a storm of emotions flickering behind his eyes. He took a slow drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke calmly before he finally spoke, his words weighed down by an unspoken burden.

"Maybe some things are just meant to drown, Raven." He said, bluntly. "You and I both know that."

You met Mattheo's gaze squarely, your eyes filled with hesitation and the weight of unspoken truths--his flat dismissal of your words bothered you, sparking irritation through your veins, but you couldn't drop his prior insinuation regarding his brother--it was time you cleared that up once and for all.

"For the record," you began, your voice faltering slightly, "I don't feel anything for your brother. I never fucking did. It was never, ever about him." The confession hung heavy in the air, your heart pounding as felt as though you’d revealed a vulnerable piece of your soul. "It was always about you," you added, your voice barely above an audible whisper. "I..."

"Stop," he said, his eyes flashing with a mix of anger and desperation. His body tensed, as if bracing for an impact. "Whatever you were about to say, don't say it."

Mattheo's voice came out as a sharp command, cutting through the tension like a knife through the darkness. His words lingered in the chilled night atmosphere, a heavy barrier between you, guarding his emotions like a fortress wall. Your throat tightened, constricting like a vice around your words. Each beat of your heart felt like a war drum, its thunderous rhythm drowning out any other sound.

"Why?" You hardly croaked.

"Because," Mattheo replied, his jaw clenching with the intensity of his suppressed emotions. "There are two fucking things in life you can't take back, Raven--bullets and words.“ he paused for a moment, inhaling a sharp breath. “Always make sure you hit what you aim at, and that you mean what you fucking say.”

Mattheo's words hit you like a tidal wave, crashing against the fragile walls of your resolve. The words rolled around you, creating a unstable bridge that stretched across the chasm between your bodies, threatening to collapse under the weight of suppressed emotions--and after a moment that felt like an eternity, you exhaled, accepting his now-hardened demeanour and deciding to just drop it, you switched the subject.

"I...I was just going to say...Tom invited me to the party in your common room on Saturday," you whispered, voice trembling as much as your fingers were. "I plan on going."

Mattheo's body tensed, his jaw tightening even further, as if to mask the rising anger within him. He avoided your gaze, his fists clenching involuntarily, struggling to contain the emotions surging beneath his calm exterior.

"And do you think that's a good idea?" His words sliced through the air, sharp and pointed, echoing the turmoil within him. "Have you ever attended a party here, even once?"

You shook your head, your voice barely audible as you admitted, "No, but I can't say no to him, Mattheo...I can't jeopardize my position in the guild. I've worked so hard for it, my entire educational career..." the desperation in your tone was palpable, the weight of your responsibilities bearing down on your shoulders. "It's rather maddening how quickly I transitioned from one Riddle capable of shattering my fucking future to another...it's like I can't catch a break."

The space between you and Mattheo sat heavy with unspoken words, an abyss of silence that seemed to stretch on endlessly. The soft glow of the dim light accentuated the shadows dancing across his face, emphasizing the muffled frustration etched into his features. Each puff of his cigarette punctuated the quiet, adding to the palpable tension in the air.

"I wasn’t planning on going to that," he finally replied, his voice carrying an unusual firmness, as if he was trying to convince himself too. "I quit all that shit."

Your voice caught in your throat, shock freezing your words as you tried to process his revelation.

"You-" you began, but he cut you off, his tone flat, devoid of its usual edge.

"Drinking, drugs," he said, his eyes meeting yours with a glint of determination before he gestured towards the cigarette between his fingers. "These are next."

You struggled to find your voice, your mind racing to comprehend the magnitude of his decision. The man who had drowned himself in alcohol more times in one week than you could count on two bloody hands had fucking quit it all. It was almost impossible to believe.

"Wow," you breathed, your words laced with a mix of disbelief and exasperation. Part of you still rolled with disappointment over his absence at the upcoming event, but a flicker of hope dared to spark within you. "That's great, Mattheo...that's a huge step for you..."

Mattheo's silence hung in the air, his eyes searching your face as if seeking answers in the depths of your gaze. Time seemed to stretch, the weight of the world seemingly sitting heavy between you. With deliberate slowness, he blinked, extinguishing his cigarette on the ground beside him, never breaking eye contact.

"You're too good, Raven," he whispered, his voice surprisingly steady, resonating with a mixture of admiration and regret. "Such an angel...you should know, I was never unaware that you fucking saved me."

His words hung there, pregnant with meaning, as if he was acknowledging a debt he could never fully repay. The vulnerability in his eyes was a stark contrast to the usual stoic facade, revealing the depth of his emotions in that fleeting moment. Mattheo's gaze continued to bore into yours, his eyes intense as if he had stumbled upon something precious he couldn't bear to lose.

In a move so gentle it felt like a caress, his hand lifted to your face, his thumb tracing a feather-light path over your cheek. His voice, soft and tender, carried a weight of sincerity that resonated deep within you.

"Everything will work out..everything you've worked so fucking hard for will eventually pay off," he whispered. "I would have never deserved you."

Your stomach twisted, and your heart seemed to pound against your sternum with a deafening resonance, drowning out the world around you. You couldn’t feel your fingers or the cold or the fucking emptiness of your heart because all you could feel was him. All you could focus on was the overwhelming fucking urge to climb into his lap and kiss him until you couldn’t breathe, kiss him until the only thing embedded within the tastebuds on your tongue was his fucking taste. He is everywhere, he is everything--in every pulse of your desires and the depths of your soul, and then he whispered,

“I will be there, for you, on Saturday,” his voice was a low, husky murmur, filling you with warmth. “Just incase.”

And as he withdrew his hand from your face, the loss of his touch was like a phantom ache, a reminder of the connection you desperately fucking craved. His eyes, deep and intense, lingered on your lips for a fleeting moment, a silent testament to the desires that simmered beneath the surface. As he pulled himself up to his feet, he broke his eyes from yours, and with deliberate steps, he retreated, the distance between you growing--but just when you thought he would disappear into the night, he paused, glancing back over his shoulder.

“And to answer your question--yes, I have dreams…” his voice, laden with a mix of vulnerability and yearning, hung in the air like a fragile promise. “But they’re only good when you’re in them.”

——————-

Find sixteen->

946 notes · View notes

water-to-drink · 4 months ago

Note

Hi :)

Im not sure if you write angst so if you don't please ignore this.

Please can I request a fic where the Reader and Kaveh are in the desert and they get ambushed by something e.g. eremites and the reader gets injured. (also if you don't do Kaveh, Alhaitham would be ok too)

It’s Just A Scratch

(Pairing): Kaveh x gn!reader

(Synopsis): What was supposed to be an uneventful trip through the desert turns into the worst nightmare for Kaveh

(Tags/Warnings): Angst, blood, violence, Kaveh is reader’s boyfriend, petnames (dear and baby), (if I missed anything lmk)

(Word Count): 690 (nice)

(A/n): I hope this is fulfills your request

Traversing such an arid region is not for the faint hearted, the blistering sun and harsh winds are surely meant to keep any inexperienced travelers away. Travelers like you

“Ugh, it’s so hot.” You whined. “I can’t believe you travel through the desert as often as you do!” You fanned yourself with your hands while struggling to keep up with your boyfriend

“It’s not bad once you get used to it, now come on let’s get going we’re almost there.” Kaveh said as he offers you his water canteen

You take it and drink some, careful not to drink all of your boyfriend’s water. You’re coming back from a meeting with a client, you accompanied him as support for the blond, knowing how some clients can be. Now the two of you are on your way back to the city

You handed the canteen back to the architect and kept walking right besides him. You can tell that your boyfriend is very familiar with the terrain, which is something you’re thankful for

“When we get back into the city, let’s grab a drink. On me!” You said

“Wanting to drink after being in blistering heat, I don’t know what to do with you, dear.”

“Hey! You know you were thinking of the same thing-” You came to a halt when Kaveh’s outstretched arm stopped you from going any further

In the middle of the road, there’s a barricade blocking your path

“Kaveh, what’s wrong-”

“We need to turn back.” The blond stated. “It’s dangerous here.”

You rarely saw your boyfriend this serious, so whatever is making him this way should be avoided

Turning around you see a group of people in quickly approaching you and your boyfriend

Eremites!

Quickly you draw your weapons and start fighting your assailants

Kaveh’s heavy claymore effortlessly swings at the Eremites without making the architect break a sweat. Things looked to be going pretty smoothly until he halted his movements

A blood curdling scream rips from behind him, he turns his head to see you being stabbed in the stomach

The next few moments were a blur. Ditching his briefcase in favor of swinging his greatsword by hand, soon enough he sees the Eremites retreating

Quickly turning his attention towards your bleeding limp form, he kneels down and presses on the wound

Panic fills him as he saw blood gush from your wound and cover his hands. He sallowed down his anxiety and made quick work of your injury

Thank the archons he entertained Al haitham’s ramblings mainly the ones that involved medical advice, he hastily patches you up and made sure you were in a stable enough state to move you

Picking you up he ran to Aaru Village and begged the village doctors to help you

The next hours felt like pure agony for the blond, he paced back and forth through the room waiting for the doctors to come out and say that you’re okay. The logical side of him knew that you lost a lot of blood. Wanting to be hopeful but his crimson stained shirt that stickily clung onto his chest broke that illusion for him

The same hopeful side just wanted you to pull through, to keep your promise to stay with him forever and not leave him

After a few agonizing hours the doctors come back and say you’re okay, after some words that went over Kaveh’s head he was allowed to see you

Entering the room he his heart dropped. Your skin normally full of life and color now a sickly pale with large bags under your eyes

“Hey… sorry for scaring you back there.” You weakly said

“Baby, don’t be sorry. I should be the one apologizing, you got hurt because of me.”

“Kaveh…” You reached out to caress his face but your hand so shaky that the architect feared that it would drop

Taking your hand he pressed his face into your palm, noting how cold your hands feel against his cheek

He can beat himself up over failing to protect you later, what matters is for him to be strong for you

#genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin impact x reader #genshin x female reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin angst #genshin x f!reader #genshin x m!reader #genshin x male reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #kaveh x reader #kaveh x you #kaveh x male reader #kaveh x m!reader #kaveh x f!reader #kaveh x female reader #kaveh x gn reader #kaveh x gender neutral reader

123 notes · View notes

dirtylittlefairytales · 3 months ago

Text

Don't play with fire | - Part 2 - |

Autors Note: I recommend to read Part 1 first. This is going to be a rollercoaster, but I hope you like it. I liked writing it and I'm really happy I started writing again. Now I try writing smut too. If you like the song 'Unholy from Sam Smith' listening to it later on, made the scene better. At least I listened to it while I wrote the scene.

Also as before, english is not my first language, I hope I corrected most mistakes.

Summary: After having a panic attack and realizing that Cooper could be the Butcher., you tried living your life normally again, until you got a text from an unknown number. Should you go to the police? Half a year later everything is normal again, at least you think it is.

-> Writing in 'italic' is supposed to be the your thoughts

Warnings: Dark!Fic, Describing of a Panic attack, Age Gap! (Legal), Swearing! Praise! Alcohol consumption!, drugs!, bit of Smut, Angst!, Arguing

Rating: R

Word count: 7,4k

Tagging: @a-movie-that-youve-never-seen, @amethystblackkchaos, @hereforthehitsbaby, @waywardtigersandwich

That was your first panic attack you had in your life. You spend that day at the hospital, your mom picking you up in the evening. She didn’t pry for information, although she was very worried. When you got back to her house and sat in the living room over a hot tea, you told her everything– Though more like everything she could know.

You told her about the concert, how you weren’t feeling well because of the crowd of people. So you went home early, then your bike got stolen and your boss fired you after some nasty words. You said you didn’t know how you ended up at the hospital, you were just aimlessly walking and then woke up in the hospital. Remembering a lot of concerned voices around you but nothing more.

Seeing that you were near tears again your mom started to hug you for several minutes. You let it all out. All those bottle up emotions of the day. You just didn’t know what to do with all these emotions. It was too much, like you weren’t in control anymore.

“You know sweety, you should move closer again. Ah no disagreeing! Think about it. You know my grandparents also had their apartment. Please consider it, I worry about you.” she said, squeezing your shoulders. “You could save so much money!”

“Okay mom. I promise I’ll think about it, but not today. Let me find a new job first.” you tried avoiding the situation. She nodded

“Well, come one you can sleep in your old room today. Tomorrow I'll drive you to the mechanic so you can get your car back.”

“Thanks mom.”, she kissed the top of your head and pushed you towards the stairs. Shaking your head, you went up towards your old room. You could barely say no to anything, when it came to your mom. However, moving back was the one thing you didn’t want. It was stupid. You wanted to live independent and not in your moms apartment, where she probably wouldn’t even allow you to pay rent.

Stepping inside your room, everything looked as you last remembered it. Your mom tried to make it look like your old room. The big double bed near the window, with the one teddy bear on it. A small wooden closet near the wall. You closed the curtains on the window and went to bed.

On the bathroom mirror you could see a bruise starting to form on your shoulder, where Cooper had gripped it. Clearly you couldn’t wear something without sleeves the next few weeks.

Before going to sleep you checked your phone. You nearly forgot about it. There was nothing. No new contact, no number saved anywhere, everything was the same. You remember it clearly, he told you he had saved his number, but nothing. You checked your phone completely. Looked through everything, photos, deleted messages, deleted contacts. Still nothing.

‘Had he just been toying with you? Playing into your anxiety?’ After checking your phone for a second time you gave up. Maybe you imagined it, maybe you should just call it a day. As soon as you put your phone down and your head hit your pillow you were out. The events of that day were finally catching up with you.

Waking up the next day, you still felt exhausted but overall better. True to her word, your mom drove you to the mechanic, and reminded you to visit her once a week like you promised her on her last birthday. No more work excuses.

You promised, she was getting older and you did want to spend more time with her. She turned 59 this year. You loved her, she always did her best. Recently your grandfather passed away, leaving everything to your mom. Your grandparents had an estranged relationship with your mom, but seeing as she was their only child… she inherited it all. Now your mom could live without worries. She had a house and had a spare apartment. Seeing as they did have a bit of money.

Over the next week you wrote more job applications and went to a couple of interviews. Until you finally found yourself a new job. The company and boss seemed nice and you even got to work from home 10 days a month. Big plus and the pay was decent. You stayed in your apartment most of the time after the concert, fearing you might run into Cooper somewhere. You were quite paranoid. Fearing what he would do to you. Were you going to be next, if he was the Butcher?

With the new job, came new energy and you started to live again. Step by step you were going outside, to the office, meeting your friends or going out for drinks. Still sometimes, you looked around you. Feeling like someone was staring holes in your back.

The second panic attack came when on a day you were working from home. A few weeks had passed and overall it started like a totally normal day, just a few calls. Not much work to do that day and around lunch time you still wore your pajamas. When you went into the kitchen to cook, you suddenly got a text message from an unknown number. First you thought it was someone from work. Though, the number didn’t seem familiar, so maybe it was a customer? However, none had your private number. You opened the message and instantly knew who sent that text.

–You should watch the news. Unfortunately I must tell you that Spencer didn't seem to be very grateful. Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart. –

You dropped your phone, heart pounding in your chest. ‘Sweetheart– Was that Cooper? So he did have your number… Why should you watch the news?’ Slowly you crept down, picking up your phone from the floor and almost dropping it again. Your hands trembled so much.

After releasing a shuddering breath, you put your phone in your pocket and stepped towards your living room. One step at time, fearing you might fall if you walked too fast. Holding on to your sofa for dear life, you reached for the remote.

Turning on the TV, unsure of what you would find, you switched programs until you found the news channel. Your hands still trembling, you took deep breaths trying to calm yourself.

‘Maybe you should sit down?’ – Letting yourself fall onto the sofa you turned up the volume. You saw a lot of police in the background then view switched to the reporter, who started speaking

“Yesterday in the early hours, two hikers found something horrible on their daily hiking trail. We waited for further information from the police and we can now announce that the Butcher has found yet another victim. This marks the 13th victim of the Butcher.”

Your knuckles around the remote turned white from anticipation, your fingernails digging in your own palm. ‘Maybe you should stop with the acrylic nails’ You held your breath. They showed a photo of a young man on the screen. It wasn’t someone you knew.

“The victim seems to be a young man named Spencer–” Spencer.. That was the name he told you that day. You didn’t even listen to the rest of the news. Completely blending everything out, thoughts racing in your head. A sob escaped you, your whole body shook uncontrollably. Gasping for air, crying, you had your second panic attack. It felt even stronger then the first one, but maybe it was only because you were more aware now.

A part of you felt like you killed Spencer. You had thought he was just playing with your fear. It was your fault. ‘What have you done… you were right all along. Your sixth sense didn’t leave you. Why haven't you gone to the police? Were you an accomplice now? Why haven’t you told somebody? You could have saved him…’ The answer was simple. You hadn’t been 100% sure. Hell until now you thought you imagined most of his weird behavior, were overthinking it, writing it off as anxiety.

Helplessly you wandered around towards your kitchen in the search for a bag. When you finally found one, you sank down against your cupboard. Taking deep breaths with the plastic bag to calm your breathing. After calming down and just sitting silently in your kitchen for 20 minutes, you got up and shut down the TV.

‘You couldn’t go to the police, could you? What if they held you responsible for it because you didn’t say anything until now. You didn’t even know his last name or where he lived.’

A dry and humorless laugh escaped you. Putting your face in your hand, trying to come to terms with reality. Finally you pushed your hair back and grabbed your phone.

Pondering if you should write back? Try to get information from him and go to the police? Could you get burned even more? Thinking for another minute you decided against it. Panic and anxiety controlled your actions. Your course of action was going in the complete opposite direction. Simply deleting the message. Deleting the evidence, deleting a small part of your guilt– ‘out of sight out of mind’

You didn’t continue work that day, called in sick, went to bed and just stared aimlessly at the ceiling. Thinking about everything. About the concert, about every small detail you remembered. All the strange things you thought he did, but in the end you thought it was just your imagination.

This was so fucked up, why were you still alive and not locked up in some basement? Why were you still alive? He knew that you knew. By sending you that text, it almost seemed like he wanted you to know. It hardly made any sense to you. After hours and hours of thinking and getting a headache from it, you fell asleep rather exhausted.

Not even a day after you even changed your number, telling your friends and mom another lie. The excuse, you got too many spam calls on it, seemed to be good enough. You were that anxious that you were one step away from moving back into your mom's house. However you didn't want to exaggerate.

Everything you did, to feel secure didn’t help. The anxiety remained. Whenever you went outside you felt like a scared mouse, always looking around, getting in your car and inside the office building as quickly as possible. At first you looked for a black van, then you remembered that stupid little you had the great idea to reveal to him what the profiler said. Of course he was not driving that van anymore. Perhaps now he drove around in a girly pink car.

��How could you have been so stupid?’, you wanted to bang your head against the table. You even judged Lady Raven for her naivety and here you were telling the Butcher what car to not drive. What to look out for. You helped him even further, by not going to the police. He must have been laughing at you in his head. What a fucking joke. He also must have realized what effect he had on you, using that for his advantage. That for one you found him attractive, on the other hand you were intimidated by him. You were glad you were still alive, but it also made you nervous.

A month later and nothing new from the Butcher and no strange occurrences you finally started to relax again. Cooper and all that happened was slowly being pushed to the back of your head.

Furthermore, you moved out of your apartment. You felt spooked and unsafe in it. Living near your mom again gave you a small aspect of security back. Fortunately your workplace had a second office 20 min from your mom's apartment. You rented some transporter and with the help of your friends you moved your stuff into your new apartment within a day. Moving out helped your anxiety a lot.

Another month later, you started to go out with your friends again, didn’t look around every time you left your apartment and became more yourself. Feeling confident. You were slowly going after your hobbies again. Running outside, Swimming, visiting your favorite coffee shop or reading in the park on a good day. All without turning around every few seconds.

Before you knew it about half a year had passed and it all was a mere memory. You hadn’t had another panic attack in months. Your job was great, you met your friends a lot, also visited your mom every week and you could even listen to music with noise canceling headphones again. It felt normal. Back to how it was before. There was no news from the Butcher. No new Butcher victims, just some mom in a horrible car crash, but aside from that there was just the usual news.

It was around January, a Saturday, your birthday to be exact, where it began to get strange again. Even though it started out as every other birthday since you were 21. First brunch with your mum, having some good quality time in your favorite restaurant. After that, you went home again and around the evening your friends should arrive to go out. You should be around 10 people later. Normally you would just celebrate at home, but your best friend Simon wanted to party. Who were you to deny his wishes?

You had been Besties for ages, growing up with the same situation of a cheating parent, pushed you even closer together. It was only after high school where you went in different directions. Simon wanted to study, whereas you started working. There he met his better half Sebastian, they’ve been together ever since and when the three of you did something together they treated you like their child. Which you found hilarious. You loved them.

So a couple of friends were coming over and around midnight you would go dancing. When you arrived back at your apartment you noticed something strange. There was a small gift in front of your door. You looked around if you saw any of your neighbors before picking it up and unlocking your door.

It didn’t seem to have a name anywhere. ’Strange. Maybe it was from that elderly woman on the first floor?’, you wondered. You put it on your kitchen counter, saving it for later. Seeing as you had only a couple of hours left to clean and dress up. Also you needed your makeup done before simon came, or he would go way overboard with his ideas. You already agreed to let him do your hair and change your outfit, if it was “too boring”.

That was another reason he wanted you to go out. Maybe you would finally find prince charming and you could go on cute double dates. In his opinion, your ‘no dating’ phase had been going on too long. Looking at yourself in the mirror you felt good. You decided to go with some short black pants, and a glittery black top with an open back.

By the time the others arrived you totally forgot about the present still laying wrapped on the kitchen counter. Friend after friend arrived, all of them overly punctual. Except for two individuals, as always. You didn’t mind, it was only Lucas, a friend of Sebastian, with his girlfriend Mary. You didn’t particularly like her, Mary needed to be in the spotlight, sometimes you felt like she tried to replace you in your friend group. None of the others saw this most of the time though. She was ‘little miss perfect’. Well, except for Simon and Lizzy, they did see her other side sometimes.

Putting on some music after everybody sat down in the living room, you went back to the kitchen to help Simon with the last drinks. As Simon was putting away the cake he brought on the kitchen counter he saw the small present laying around. “Who is this from?”

You walked towards him to see what he ment. “Oh, I actually don’t know. I think one of my neighbors left it for me.” shrugging you picked it up.

“Do you know what's inside?”, You shook your head, now you’ve done it. Simon loved a good mystery, something to solve, something thrilling.

“Well then, open it! I’ll get the rest of the drinks.”, he ushered you towards the living room where the others sat around your coffee table. Climbing over the back rest of your couch, you made yourself comfortable in the corner. Simon brought your drinks while you started to open the present. “What is it?”

“It’s…” you frowned. Pulling out a simple small teddy bear, with something silver on top. It was made out of plastic, nothing overly special. It was a Keychain.

“I think that’s something I could put on my keychain? Wait there's more…” There was something shiny at the bottom of the present.

“A bracelet– Oh, it’s really pretty.” You held it towards the light, it sparkled brightly. It was a simple silver bracelet, with a little charm in the center. A cute colorful flower.

“Aww how cute. But it seems like it was more for a child? Are you sure your neighbors know your age?” Lizzy laughed and poked you. She was what you would consider your girl bestfriend.

“Or maybe they know that you still have stuffed animals in your bed”,joked Simon and threw a pillow at him. “Hey, be careful, my drink!”, he exclaimed with a feigned outrage. You flipped him off. It wasn’t your fault that you could only go to sleep, while holding something in your arm.

“Don’t pout, come I’ll put the bracelet on. Then we get you a tiara and you’ll be a Disney princess.”Lizzy grabbed the bracelet of your hand and put it on you.

“And put the keychain thing to your keychain–”, Marcus said as they all laughed at your embarrassment. You gave them a look.

“Really guys, do I have to?”, you whined.

“Yes, give it to me, I’ll do it. You open the rest of our presents. I promise you’ll like them”, winked Simon and held out his hand. Reluctantly you gave him the key chain and started to open the other presents.

The other presents were way better. You got some games, wine and everybody plus your mom pitched in to buy you a new bike. They hid it in front of your door before. You had tears in your eyes as you thanked each of them. ‘You had the best friends’

After eating the cake there was nothing to stop you guys from going all out. Drinking games, Beer pong, dancing or just talking. Later on, Lucas and his girlfriend arrived around 10. At this point everybody was in a good mood and slightly drunk. On seeing the bike, Mary was offended that they hadn’t waited for them to give me my present.

You were about to tell her that it was your birthday, when some of the others already apologized to her. Telling her they didn’t know when they would show up.Annoyed, you refilled your drink, and went back to the friends playing beer pong. You needed to get drunk more to be nice to her. She wasn’t even here for 5 minutes and everything had to resolve around her.

The party got louder and better, all having a good time. Half an hour before you wanted to leave Mary came to you while dancing, grabbing your arm. “Is that the bracelet you got from your neighbor? The others told me about it. It's so cute. Can I try it on? I always wanted something like this…”, Mary asked you with her stupid baby voice. She immediately tried grabbing it off your arm.

“Ehm, hey wait a second. Here, but I want back before we go.”, You didn’t want any drama today. She nodded her head, waved you off and reassured you that you would get it back in a second.

You did, in fact, not get it back within a second and when you were standing in the queue to the club, you realized that she still had it on. Now it was too late.

Inside the club your friends surprised you, they booked a small area to sit with a table in the middle. Some drinks and bottles, waiting for you in the middle.

“Guys! You shouldn’t have!”, you exclaimed happily.

“Only the best for you Birthday girl!” Simon cheered! Hugging you tightly. Celebrating your birthday never felt better. You did a few shots and then most of you went off dancing to the dancefloor for the next hour.

Coming back from the dance floor you sat back down exhausted. Every time you went out you asked yourself the same question. ‘Why did you even decide to wear heels today?’ All of you started to get new drinks and someone suggested to spice things up and play an old fashioned “Truth or Dare”. Without truth of course, because it was way too loud.

You loved these games, it was always fun to watch. Though you didn’t like doing dares yourself, always feeling a bit shy and easily embarrassed. Now with the alcohol you did feel more comfortable. Maybe you would be up to do a dare. As if reading your thoughts Simon yelled at you over the table “Y/N”.

You looked at him with pleading eyes, your confidence dwindling. “Noo.. Please…”

“No! I’ve waited enough. I dare you to go out there and make out with a stranger!” he exclaimed, pointing to the dance floor. Some of your friends whistled at that.

Not waiting for you to think about it Simon stood up. “Do you trust me? We go dancing and I promise I won’t let some creep near you. Only handsome guys?” He held out his hand. You thought about it. If not now, when would you ever do it? You needed to get over your own shadow. Quickly you emptied your glass. For the extra bit of confidence.

“Pinky promise?” you asked, feeling bold suddenly and holding out your pinky. He looked surprised and instantly linked your pinky with his. “Promisee.” happily he dragged you to the dance floor.

“What's your age range? Still someone around your age?” Simon asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes at his behavior. “I don’t know. He can be older… but not above 50!!” Simon pretended to be shocked at your revelation, holding his hand above his heart.

“Older men! How scandalous!”, you jabbed his side.

“Let's go before I change my mind.”, you threatened. As you made your way on the dance floor they started to play one of your favorite songs ‘Unholy’.

“As information, I’m going back as soon as I see you enjoy yourself. I’m not watching a full make out session from you.”, he shouted in your ear. Laughing, you nodded. Fair enough, you wouldn’t want to watch him make out with Sebastian either. Both of you started dancing to the music, stealing glances at the people around you.

More like Simon was looking around, whereas you tried not to think about the dare too much.

You felt the people dancing all around you. Swinging your hips and moving your arms around your body, you felt yourself getting lost in the music.

Simon and you danced yourself further into the crowd. Someone bumped against your ass, touching it. Before you could even react somebody else pushed that person away. It was not Simon, seeing as he was still dancing right before you. He raised a brow gesturing behind you. Mouthing the simple word ‘Hot’.

While dancing you turned your head slightly to look behind. You couldn’t see much, all the flickering colorful lights made it hard to recognize anything. He was tall, broad shoulders and his hair seemed to be a bit longer. You continued dancing, Simon nodding at you. ‘Fuck it. Simon better not be wrong’ You trusted his judgment. In the rhythm of the music, you danced backwards until you found yourself practically grinding your ass on him. He didn't move away, dancing in sync with you.

One of his hands placed itself on your hip, pulling you even more against him. You felt a sudden rush of confidence, as you continued swaying your ass against him and felt something hardened in his pants. It felt huge.

Using this confidence boost and as a confirmation you spun around, still dancing. ‘Could you do it?’ Looking up at his face, sadly, the flashing lights still barely illuminated his face. Looking closer you could make out a few facial features. He also had a slight beard. Even without knowing his exact looks, you felt a certain pull towards him. ‘I bet he is handsome’ You were not one to make the first move, but you were going to fulfill your dare.

‘You could do it. You looked fucking hot and you wouldn't see him ever again.’ Dancing against him, his slight erection pressing against you, you took the initiative, steadying yourself with one hand at his shirt. 'Why wouldn’t he take the first step? Why did the women need to take control in this situation?' Until now you were always the more experienced partner, so it was nothing new for you. Even though you would like some change. Him taking control, getting rough or just doing what he wants… Maybe you read too many dark romance books.

Slowly wandering with the other hand up his chest, resting it at his neck. Slightly you pulled his head towards you to push your lips onto him. His lips were rough. At first it was just you moving your mouth against his. You felt him putting away his drink on the high table next to you.

As he still did not reciprocate the kiss and for a second you thought that you read the signs wrong. At least you fulfilled your dare. However as soon as you broke the kiss and stepped back, he roughly grabbed your face, pulling you back into him. Surprised by the sudden force of his grip, a small yelp escaped you, before he silenced it with a kiss. The action instantly sent a warm fuzzy feeling down to your core.

Kissing you hard, your mouths moved in sync. His large hand on the side of your face kept your head in place. You winced slightly when he bit your lip, but he hardly seemed to notice. He tried to slip his tongue between your lips, but you denied it.

Trying to gain control of the kiss and situation. You heard a low grumble from him, he seemed discontented with your attitude. You smirked against his lips, which seemed to annoy him further. Moving his hands down your body, he grabbed your ass, hard. The pain going straight into your core, making you moan into his mouth. He seized the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth.

This time you didn’t even try to get the upper hand, you liked that he was in control. Finally someone who was more dominant in these things. Giving you the time to explore this new, more submissive side. Letting go of your face he moved his hand down your body. Over your chest, stomach and finally resting at your hips, pulling you against him. Goosebumps traveled all over your body, where his hands touched you. Your brain felt dazed, this was the hottest makeout session you ever had. You didn’t care about his roughness or the biting, you rather liked it.

When he broke the kiss you were both panting heavily. Slowly, almost teasing, he traced his fingers up your spine before grabbing you by your hair and tilting your head upwards to look at him. Your mouth parted slightly, a small moan escaped your lips. It stung where he had his grip on your hair, but the slight pain turned you on even more. Sure you knew you liked reading about these kinds of things, but experiencing them made you feel even more aroused.

For a split second, you thought you saw his panting expression change into a smirk. Before you could think twice, he kissed you again. Your mind instantly went blank, his kiss was like a drug. This kiss was slower, still rough but he set the tone. Moving his lips against yours, pushing his hand between your legs. You felt hot, everything felt way too hot to bear, never had you been kissed with such passion. You needed to be closer to him. You tried running your hands down his body.

He removed his hands in an instant, grabbing yours and pushing them back to your sides. You let out a small whine. ‘What was going on with you? You never whined. You felt like a schoolgirl, making out for the first time’ Shaking his head disapprovingly, he turned away to grab his drink. Taking a sip, he held it near your lips, offering it to you. “It’s just water.”

You knew you shouldn’t drink from strangers, though you were way too drunk to think straight or even logically. ‘You wanted to keep making out and if that helped?’ Looking up at him you tilted your head forward against the glass and emptied the whole glass. You didn’t even realize how thirsty you were, and a glass of water seemed like a good option.

“Good girl.”, you heard his deep voice beside your ear. The loud music was making it hard to hear him clearly. The praise went straight to your core. He put his drink away and you began dancing to the music. More like grinding on each other.

He still didn’t allow you to touch him much and you wanted nothing more than to travel your hands up and down on his body, or under his shirt. He leaned down, grabbing your hips to press you against him. Pressing his hard crotch against your lower stomach, making you inhale a sharp breath.

“Can I get your number?” his deep voice mumbled against your ear. You pondered. It felt like he was growling. Slowly he began caressing your ear, gently kissing his way to your neck, making you close your eyes, leaning your head back to give him better access. Your legs were feeling weak. Running his thumb along your jawline, he sucked and bit in your neck, as he kissed his way back to your ear.

“Please?” his voice was a low growl against your ear. Your eyes fluttered open again as you nodded, desire filled your body. You would do anything, if he kept going on like this.

He kissed you softly this time and you bit his lip as he tried ending the kiss. You wanted to kiss him longer. You missed his warmth already, and also missed the dark look flashing up in his eyes. He pulled his phone out, tipping something before handing it to you. As you grabbed his phone, you felt yourself wobble to the side. Luckily he grabbed you in time and stadied you against his body. Now your back was pressed against his front.

You thought about grinding your butt against him, but as if sensing your thoughts he nudged you towards his phone. Looking at the screen, it was truly hard to concentrate for you. He kept sidetracking you by placing soft kisses on your neck.

Blinking rapidly you slowly made out the numbers. Your vision seemed a bit blurry, your eyes feeling so heavy. ‘You didn’t even drink that much’ After what felt like hours you successfully put in your number. As soon as you were done, he grabbed his phone back.

You were so drunk that you didn’t notice the contact already had a name. - Sweetheart - Turning back to him you nearly lost your balance, falling against his chest. His arm wrapped around your side, steadying you as he began walking you through the crowd of dancing people. You found it so difficult to keep your balance, you felt funny. You couldn’t seem to focus, everything stayed a bit blurred. You didn’t even know where he took you. Was he taking you home?

“Hey, sorry to bother you guys.”, he loudly said to someone over the music as he came to a stop. You leaned your face against his shoulder. You were really tired.

“You are her friends, right? I think someone put something in her drink, one minute she was fine and the next she could barely stand.” Your brows furrowed, ‘drugged? You were fine… when should that have happened? Didn’t those drugs work way quicker?’ Shocked gasps filled the air.

“I thought I would bring her back to you, so you can get her home.” He had such a calming and sympathetic voice. ‘Why would he bring you back? You were having fun.’ You playfully bit him in his chest, making him tighten his grip on your hip. His lips pressed in a firm line.

“Yes, yes she is our friend. Oh fuck. Thank you so much man!” Four hands grabbed you off the stranger you were leaning onto. You pouted.

“No-o I don’t wa- want to”, your voice slurred, you sounded like a brat. Struggling against their grip, not wanting to leave his side, but they were stronger than you. Also your fight wasn't really that much of a fight as you thought, you could hardly stand straight. You didn’t even knew his name. His jaw clenched as he looked towards you and the two holding you, his eyes lingered on the arm of the girl.

“Yes yes, hopefully you got his number.”, said a high pitched female voice near your ear. It sounded like Mary. You looked around, it was Lucas and Mary who supported you. ‘Why those two?’

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked older men?” Giggling, you shrugged your shoulders.

“He is so fine, maybe I should talk to him too.” Mary whispered in your ear. ‘What about her boyfriend?’

“Well, thanks again man, I’m Simon, her best friend. We’re taking her home asap, before something happens…” he began, as Lucas and Mary led you away. He gestured for them to stop, but they didn’t look back. Thus you couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation play out. It was a good thing. Drugged or not, your subconsciousness would have freaked out sooner or later.

“No problem Simon. It is what everybody would have done. Call me Cooper.”, he held his hand out for him to shake, which Simon gladly accepted.

“Nah, I don’t think so. Some sick fuck, may have taken advantage of her in a state like that. So thank you Cooper.. Shit, I just wanted her to have a good time on her birthday.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself Simon. I was glad I could help. Wish her a happy birthday from me, I hope she feels better in the morning.” Simon nodded, turning around to talk with the others and Cooper soon vanished in the crowd. Slowly your friends started to follow the three of you back to the entrance of the club.

“Hey, Y/N you stay here and wait. Lucas and I get the jackets. Just hold onto the handrail of the stairs or sit down. You can stand on your own for a bit, can’t you? ”she asked, concerned and something different in her voice. You gave her a thumbs up before holding onto the railing again.

“We will hurry as best as we can, the others should be here soon.” She came closer, whispering in your ear.

“Also you can stop your show now. Yes it’s your birthday, but do you need that much attention?”, with that she and lucas made her way to the coat check waiting line.

You let your head fall back as you take deep breaths. ‘Show? What show?’ Deeply breathing in the fresh air that was coming from the entrance. Few people were walking past you either coming in or leaving the club. Still it was hard concentrating on anything, but you were doing okay.

Until you weren’t. All of a sudden you felt something against your back and in the next moment you lost your footing and along with the grip on the handrail and flew down the stairs. Instinctively your body tried not to hit the ground face first. For that you turned around to face the top of the stairs. ‘Was there a man?’ you thought. Blinking once whoever you thought you saw was gone, just panicked bystanders. Did you hear Simon?

Your side painfully crashed first into the stairs, then continuing falling further down the stairs. You tried your best to stop or push yourself up, but failed. Someone behind you grabbed your arm to stop you. The only thing it brought you was, that you landed on your foot, with your butt while also twisting it in a painful way.

(A/N: You know, I thought about it, Leaving you hanging right here. However a) I should not end all my chapters the same, you could get bored and b) I’m not evil.)

Pain shot up from your foot, as your tears began to form in your eyes. “Fuck, Y/N.” Simon and Sebastian seemed next to you in mere seconds. Carefully they lifted you off the ground and gently removed your foot from under you. It hurt like hell.

“Is she alright?”, one of the bouncers came towards you from the entrance, having heard the commotion.

“Hey, can you move your foot?” Simon asked. You gave it a try, whining instantly. Crying even more you shook your head, your brain was way too foggy to come up with a smart ass reply.

“Where were you?” yelled an otherwise rather quiet Simon.

“Getting our jackets...” began Mary.

“She was drugged and you left her alone? Are you serious Mary?” Lizzy yelled too, her face enraged.

“How do we know she really was drugged? Maybe she just played it to get away from that man?” Mary suggested in an annoyed tone.

“What the fuck? Did you look at her? Does she seem like a normal drunk to you? You have seen her drunk before, but never like this!”, came Lizzy's angry reply.

“Also from what I saw in the beginning, she sucked his fucking face off! Didn’t seem like she hated it.” Simon countered.

“Why did you even leave her alone in the first place? None of this would have happened! Lucas you have no brain of your own anymore?”, Sebastian joined their yelling. The statement made Lucas' face turn the darkest shade of red.

“Fucking pathetic. Lets get her to the emergency room, someone order an uber?”Simon turned around angrily, and he and Lizzy helped you up. Each of them supported you as you hobbled down towards the streets. The way from the Club to the ER was gone in a blur. You couldn’t remember most of it. One minute you were leaving the club and in the next you laid on a bed in the ER. ‘How did you get here?’

You looked around for your friends, but the room was empty besides Simon who was sitting next to your bed with a worried expression. Your head felt clearer, you cleared your throat.

“So what did the doctor say, Simon? What's the damage?”, better get it over with.

“Well.. bad news first. You have a bruised foot and a hyperextended ligament. As a consequence you have to wear a bandage and walk on crutches for the next month at least.”

You sighed. It seemed like he wasn’t even finished with the bad news yet.

“You also got a few bruises on your arms, legs and back. Buut the Good news– they've given you something to counteract the effects of the drugs, but you'll probably still have to sleep it off, to fully feel better.”

“Better?” you laughed “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Anything is better than this..”

“I know..” he said as he patted your head. “Listen, they want to keep you here overnight, but just call me in the morning and we will pick you up and drive you home, ok?”

Defeated, you nodded, he squeezed your hand and left soon after. Leaving you alone in the empty room. The rest of the night was uneventful. The nurses checking up on you from time to time, bringing you more water. Sadly they also woke you up at 6 to check your vitals again and give you painkillers. After one final talk with the doctor, getting instructions from him for the next weeks and your crutches, you were ready to go home.

As promised Simon picked you up, he even cleaned your apartment from you and forbade you from helping. He was too kind. He even made Sebastian shop some groceries for you, which he brought over. So you didn’t need to stress about that for the next couple of days. About two hours later they left, telling you to call if you needed something.

You never had a wild birthday like that before, but somehow trouble seemed to find you. It was just a small consolation that nothing had happened to you the last months.

Still exhausted, you laid back on the couch, still in your yesterday's outfit. Closing your eyes as you enjoyed the silence. The ping of your phone ringing loud through the quietness of your apartment. You grabbed your phone and held it above your face. It was from Simon, he left not even a minute ago. Did he forget something? You opened your Phone.

– I totally forgot to tell you something. I meant to wish you a happy birthday from the man from the club last night. He also wished for you to get well soon. –

A second message followed.

– You remember? The one you made out with? He said his name was Cooper. –

Cooper…You knew that name. There was only one person that came to your mind with that exact name. Alarm Bells were going off in your head, but whatever they gave you in the hospital was working. You weren’t shaking or panicking, you were rather calm, what confused you.

That couldn’t be true, no. Surely you would have recognized him, even in the dim light of the club. It wasn’t that dark, was it? You rested your phone on your chest and began thinking about last night. Trying to remember, you realized that reconstructing the evening would be way harder than you thought. There were a lot of gaps in your memories and many were quite foggy. Perhaps it was because of the drugs mixed in your drink.

Sighing you closed your eyes, attempting to recollect what the stranger looked like. He was tall, had a small beard, you didn’t remember his eye or hair color, but his hair was a bit longer? You were unsure. You remembered his large hands on your body, holding your head in place while kissing you. He was strong for sure.

‘Think straight!’ you warned yourself, already starting to feel hot again. Just thinking about it still turned you on. ‘If that was Cooper, the man from that concert. You were fucked.’

You tried to arrange your thoughts. Yes, you made out with him, a serial killer, and you liked it, you felt disgusted. ‘You didn’t know it was him. Why would he even be there? The possibility was close to zero’ Suddenly you remembered something.

Didn’t you drink from his drink? Of course you were drunk before, but after that everything went downhill. Recalling how super drunk and tired you felt soon afterwards. It would all make sense.

Except… Why did he bring you back to your friends then? Perhaps it was a weird coincidence?

Maybe you should ask Simon if his name was really Cooper. Maybe he misunderstood? That looked like a good option. Opening your phone, you started to answer Simon as a new message came in.

It was from an unknown number. A simple: – Happy Birthday Sweetheart. –

It couldn’t be, you changed your number. Not many people called you that and you faintly remember Cooper calling you like that. Before you could wonder about it more, a second message from the same number appeared. What you read then made your heart freeze in fear, your pulse increased and hands started shaking, which made reading the message harder.

– You know, you were always nervous and so easily startled, like a cute little doe. Constantly on alert and looking around, to run away, at the slightest noise. Though if there were a little accident to happen. Where will you go now little doe, if you can’t even run? –

(A/N: nvm i am evil)

#trap 2024 #cooper adams #cooper adams x reader #trap movie #josh hartnett #cooper adams x you #cooper adams x y/n #cooper abott × reader #cooper abott

83 notes · View notes

grandlinedreams · 1 year ago

Note

Hello there! If I could make a request please. Femme reader joins the Heart Pirates while after running away from home. Her parents force fed her a devil fruit and abused her well before then. Law knows this, but didn't know which island she was from. Maybe the crew shores up on reader's home island and she doesn't realize it until they surface? It's readers turn to go on land and leave the ship for a bit and she runs into her family and all hell breaks loose. Law comes to her rescue maybe? Can be like a new relationship or maybe they've been flirting but nothing official yet?

You're writings are amazing! Thank you!

Hiya papaya!! I absolutely can, I have an oc i made for OP that's got a little bit of a similar backstory so i incorporated a little bit of that but I hope I can do this justice for you!!

[Heads up! PLEASE READ TAGS: established relationship, fem!reader, unhealthy family dynamic/mentions of abuse and abuse related injuries, healthy dose of angst, mention of anxiety/panic attack, hurt/comfort]

You don't want to be here.

Pressed to the railing of the Polar Tang's deck, you stare at the island that grows ever closer, jaw taut as the excitement you'd felt this morning completely drain from your system.

You'd been all for getting to be on solid ground, eager to explore a new place ㅡ only to realize that your destination is familiar. Too familiar.

You want to leave. You want to beg Law to find another island to make a supply run on ㅡ anywhere but here. But you know that will lead to questions, ones you don't want to answer.

"Excited to be on land?" Hakugan means well with his question, you know he does, but it still makes you tense.

"Something like that," you answer, hoping nobody noticed that your grip on the railing has bled your knuckles white with the force. Your heart hammers, blood icy in your veins. Maybe it won't be like before, you try telling yourself. Maybe it'll be different.

All you can do is desperately hope that you won't have to be here for long as you approach the island you once called home.

ㅡ

Something is wrong.

Law is far from an idiot or unobservant ㅡ though you try to hide it under your usual cheer, he's aware that your smile is forced, and you try to hide the way you flinch at every sudden noise, every unexpected movement.

"What's wrong." He phrases it more as a demand than a question, watching your expression shift to one of faux-confusion. "Don't try to lie to me," he presses. "You've been acting off since we left the ship."

Damn this man. Damn him for knowing you as he does as of late, afforded the soft vulnerability that comes with being in a relationship, even if new and tentative.

You waffle for a moment, still debating the pros and cons of trying to lie to him ㅡ but it's far from worth it when you know he'll be able to see through it.

"[Name]." The press of your name is intentional, and you last all of two seconds before the dam breaks.

"I'm from this island," you blurt, hate how disgusting it makes you feel to admit connection to this place. For all the idyllic scenery and cheerful townsfolk, you know better. The eyes averted at the bruises on your skin, the carefully deaf ears to the way you were talked to.

They knew, of course. How could they not? It was never like they made it a secret. Especially not after that ㅡ and they'd made it seem like it was your fault. How scandalous, a child eating a devil fruit ㅡ of course you deserved your punishment.

Law stares. You'd mentioned little pieces of your past, prompted by the mandatory physical required of all of his crew, the discovery of scars and bones with clear evidence of breaks long healed.

"You should have said something," Law says, hating the way you flinch, shrinking in on yourself. "We would have found a different island."

"I didn't want to cause problems." Your answer is mumbled, eyes averted. You listen to the approach of footsteps, the weight of a hand on your head.

"We'll make this quick, then get out of here."

You nod, some of the raw pit of anxiety soothed by both Law's touch and his words jefore you take a step forward. "I'll grab some of the dry store supplies we need, I know where to go."

A protest is on the tip of Law's tongue that no, you shouldn't have to go anywhere alone on this island ㅡ but he keeps quiet, abruptly understanding that you're trying to feel as normal as you can.

"Alright," he relents. "I'll grab the other few things. Meet back here, then we'll head back."

You nod. Though your skin still crawls at the very fact you're standing on ground you once did so long ago, you push it down in favor of focusing on the task at hand. The sooner the two of you finish, the better.

ㅡ

You're gathering the last of the supplies when things fall apart. Back to the door of the store, you don't see them walk in ㅡ but the voice that calls to you is horrifyingly familiar, cutting through the air like a knife to sink square into your back.

"Long time no see, [Name]."

You suppose you should have known the tentative peace you've found wouldn't last long enough. After all even with the anonymity the passage of time has afforded you, someone was bound to recognize you. You stiffen, fighting the urge to turn. Maybe if you pretend you don't know them, you can leave.

"Thank-you," you mumble as you're handed the brown paper bag, handing over money before you turn, aiming to walk past them as quickly as you can.

Cold fingers snag around your upper arm, yanking you to a halt. "Is that any way to treat a parent?"

Hot anger ignites in your stomach, indignation that they have the audacity to call themself a parent ㅡ but that flicker of righteous fury is snuffed out when you look up. They smirk, and suddenly you're a child again.

"You're to address me the way you should." Their grip tightens, and you fight not to wince at the protest of your arm beneath their grip. They'd broken this arm before ㅡ and it's clear they can do it again, if they so choose. "Am I clear?"

How many times have you imagined spitting in their face over the years? Fighting back the way you always wished you could, proving you're not a scared child anymore ㅡ only to be reduced to it again. You can't even call on your powers, rooted to the spot as their fingers undoubedly bruise your skin.

"I want an answer," they tell you sharply, and you wince as their nails bite into your flesh as well. "Now."

Bile rises in your throat, burning as your heart hammers with sheer panic, breathing shallow. You hate them. You don't want to go back to this, you were promised you'd never have to, and what good is a promise if it's broken?

Years of progress seems to vanish in an instant as your lips part. "Y—"

"Excuse me."

Nevermore have you been so grateful to hear Law's voice. It's cold, sharp with quiet fury — and when you glance over, Law is glaring at your parent. "Let go of her."

Your parent scoffs, and you fight not to drop the bag in your hold on the floor. "Why should I? She's my daughter—"

"Not anymore." Law's tone is flat and fierce, anger blazing in his eyes as he steps forward. He knows it's not a great idea, but he's not above liberating their hand from their body if they're not going to let go of you. "You don't deserve that title if this is how you treat your own child. Don't make me repeat myself." His eyes flash, the promise of a threat in his words. "Let go of her."

For a moment, you think that they won't. That they're going to make this escalate into something bigger than it needs to be, that you'll be stuck here again, unable to protect yourself ㅡ and then their grip eases just enough that you can wrench yourself free and move towards Law.

You know that they didn't let you go because of him, only to save face and not cause a scene ㅡ but you'll take it, even though you're tempted to turn and offer them a taste of their own medicine with your power.

But where would you be then? No better than them and something they'd always called you, even though they'd been the one to make you into it — a monster.

ㅡ

You're not sure how you get back to the Polar Tang. Whether you walk or Law uses his ability — you can't focus on anything but the lingering panic still thrumming in your veins, rising to a ringing crescendo in your ears.

They talked to you. They touched you.

Law finds you hunched over the bathroom sink, a rag in your grip as you scrub at your upper arm. "Off," you mumble as he approaches, "need to get them off of me."

You've scrubbed your skin red and raw, but it isn't enough ㅡ and you flinch when he curls his fingers around your wrist. "Stop," he says softly, keeps his voice low. "That's enough."

You're taut like a wire under his touch, frozen before you ease up, letting him coax the rag from your hand. You let him guide you from the bathroom to his room, coaxing you to sit on the bed.

"Breathe," Law instructs, hand against your back, rubbing gently. "In and out, slowly."

It takes several long minutes to match your breathing to Law's example, the abrupt sag of your shoulders as tension starts to bleed from your body. You're tired.

You don't protest as he coaxes you into laying down, the soft slip of blankets over you as exhaustion weighs your limbs down. "Law?"

"Hm?" Law hums, lets you reach for him on your own terms, tangle yourself into him before he settles an arm over you, fingers splayed against your back.

"I'm sorry."

Your apology makes Law tense. The last thing that you need to do is apologize — and it invokes leftover anger. Not at you, but at your past, what you'd endured before.

"Shh." Law kisses your forehead, lets his lips stay pressed to your skin as he speaks. "You have nothing to apologize for. Now sleep."

It doesn't take long for you fall asleep, and the peace of your face makes Law's chest ache. You deserve this kind of peace, this kind of safety.

And he plans to give it to you, for as long as he can.

#ㅡmine.#one piece scenario #one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader

251 notes · View notes

james-silent-hill · 28 days ago

Text

PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND SUMMARY:

Make sure to read Part 1 and 2 first !

Part 1

Part 2

Enjoy part 3!

At some point after making sure James was alright with everything that happened you got up from the couch, fixed whatever clothing you could fix, grabbed the pair of those half leather boots and left to lay down in that dusty bed with no pillow but a somewhat okay looking blanket.

But sleep doesn't come, you miss the feeling of his hand around your throat already, the thick and heavy feeling of having him inside of you. All you got as a little reminder is the drenched underwear.

The blanket smells old and everything about this room reminds you of home. You hate it. You don't want to sleep, you can't, you need to...

You need to get out of this place. This Apartment. This fucking town. You want to go home, wrap yourself up in a fluffy blanket with your bottle of Red wine and a new season of your favorite show.

You also really need a drink by now, how long has it been? You lost track of time in this place. There has to be a bar around here somewhere right? But these things are outside!

You don't want to ask James for help, you can manage.

Before you even get to the door of the apartment you get caught.

"Where are you going?" James looks up at you, sitting at the small kitchen table. Holding an envelope.

"Going for a walk?" You shrug as your hand moves to twist the door handle.

"You can't go out there by yourself." He gets up and suddenly you feel stuffy. The whole point of getting fucked like that is to NOT have any man care about you, worry about your safety. You don't like this whole 'you're a weak Lady and I must protect you' act of his.

"Don't act like you care, okay? It's fine, really, it's been fun and all but I gotta go" You open the door and when his arm shoves it shut again you really get angry.

"Did the fidgeting start? A tingle in your fingertips? Do you struggle to sleep because of that pounding heart and pool of anxiety in your stomach? Eyes feeling dry yet and that unbearable feeling of something awful happening around you? Huh? How bad is it? Like an hour away from panic attacks, stomach aches and cold sweats?".

"What?" You huff at him.

"You're an alcoholic. That's where you are trying to sneak off to. A bar." He looks away when he sees the shadow of the bruise that's going to form on your neck. The exact shape of his fingers.

"First of all... I'm an adult, I can do whatever I want. Second.. we are trapped in a fucking foggy Monster invested nightmare, so yes, James, I will go have a drink." You avoid his accusation of being an alcoholic.

You practically flee the Apartment once you manage to get to the door again, the air outside bites you everywhere where your skin is exposed, which are quite a lot of places.

You remember you walked by some neon sign not so long ago. It's gotta have a stash of liquor somewhere.

_______

Heavens Night

When James finally catches up to you he's even a bit out of breath, someone actually sprinted a little. He sees the glass of amber colored liquor in your hand, he's glad he made it in time. "Don't drink that, okay? Look i'm sorry, I know It's not my damn business i can just relate a lot and believe me.. the drinking never changes anything" James walks closer to the bar and towards you, only noticing now that you two are in a strip club.

Weird.

"That...is so sweet of you" You smile wide at him, leaning a bit closer. "But this is my third" You wiggle the glass with a soft smirk before you take another long sip from it.

James stares at you in defeat, he's insanely close to having one himself. This day has been something alright. But he should stick to his own words, it's a failed attempt to escape that loneliness but in the end the drinking never changes a damn thing.

"If you're doing this because of what happened earlier-" His eyes make you want to punch him in the throat.

That lost puppy look. Here goes a speech about how he didn't really want to do it that rough but he felt like you wanted it and he only wanted to meet your needs and not his own selfish ones.

A speech about how he isn't actually like that. He's a good guy. A nice guy. Blah..blaah.

"I needed it."

"I mean it was exactly what I needed. So if this is what you really need right now? I won't stop you" he keeps his hands almost flat on the bar.

"Just don't try to persuade me, I'm done with alcohol. For good." He points out.

"I won't." You feel stunned. He didn't excuse anything he didn't apologize to you. He didn't say he felt guilty about it or regretted it. He just needed it.

It's as simple as that.

"I really can't figure you out, are you sure you're real?" You ask but there is a worry that this is all somehow just in your head.

"I've been asking myself the same thing since I got here" James takes a deep breath, looking around the club. He can't believe he had sex with someone else, while looking for Mary as hard as he is, he also didn't know he had it in him to be this...rough with someone. It's almost as if it's always been there, somewhere deep inside of him, this ability to be violent or something.

Takes some to beat a monster's head in and then stomp their bodies to make sure they won't get up again.

"What's her name again?" You ask.

"Mary." James puts his face on one of his hands, he's tired but there will be no sleep in a place like this, he's sure of it.

"Mary.. and she passed three years ago but you are still looking for her? Here?" You wonder. He's either insane or just ruined by grief.

"I know how this sounds, i'm not crazy you know, I just..want some answers" He smirks a bit before almost robotically wiping it off his face again....

Hm.

"Hey it's okay if you were, you know? I am THE last person to judge anyone else’s crazy" You huff. Taking another sip of your drink before you set the glass down again.

His eyes seem relaxed and comfortable for once, even if it won't last long you are relieved to experience this look on his face. Neither of you feels weird or judged anymore, a silent understanding goes a long way. The fact that he didn't make any excuses or tried to reason as to why he fucked you like that? PERFECT. It's such a great feeling not having to listen to a man whine about why he did the things he did and why he couldn't help himself.

"My crazy is also a lot so, looking for a dead wife doesn't seem too insane" You pour some more of the booze into your glass before you walk around the bar, taking a seat next to him. Revealing a new pantyhose. You got a new pair of underwear too. This time something a bit more durable than a slip, still having no idea as to what your clothes are supposed to mean here.

"It's also a very understandable one." James looks at your thighs and knees when you sit down. "How did you?.." his throat gets audibly dry. This new one has a certain webbing that just draws him in. It's beautiful.

"Oh! Well, benefits of a strip Club right?" You look around. "Found a suitcase of fresh stuff" You could have worn a pair of mens briefs and sweatpants yet you stuck to this look somehow.

The not so survivalist attire.

"Right." James snaps himself out of it.

"Let's get out of here" He stands up nodding towards the door but...

You have other plans.

"Let's stay here, come on! It's a lot nicer than those creepy Apartments. Besides, There's a lot to drink here and not just booze. I think I even saw some snacks, the booths are comfy and..." You smirk wide when you lean halfway over the bar.

You push a button under the counter and the lights change and some slow and sensual strip music starts playing.

But while you are excited James holds a rather firm expression, he doesn't seem convinced.

"I really don't think that this is the place to be" He really doesn't allow himself any kind of fun.

"I'll behave this time?" You tilt your head to meet his gaze.

And there it is again, this almost wholesome chuckle of his. Whatever brings him here, in your book he's not a bad person. He seems almost sweet.

"Fine, okay, you're right. This place does look a bit nicer than those Apartments. I'll give you that." His eyes follow the lights before he picks himself a booth, testing the seat for himself and it might not be as good as a real bed or couch but it still is pretty comfortable. Less moldy and creepy.

You just watch, you take in almost everything he's always doing. There is just this strange fascination about him, how he manages to appear cold and a bit gloomy only to chuckle at your jokes the next second. It really is as if you have to defrost him first and underneath the ice is a beautiful cozy heart.

"Snack?" You shrug, walking behind the bar again and watching him nod from the booth. His hands are flat on the wooden table, you notice he does that a lot, maybe it's something to ground himself? Feel the surface of things that are right in front of him? It sounds like a good way not to totally lose it in this place.

You grab whatever is edible and not expired from behind the bar, you also take your glass and bottle of whisky with you. Turning the music and sexy lights off again before you walk towards the booth he picked out.

"So I have an arrangement of nut mixes, granola bars and small packages of dry cereals." You pour yourself another drink before taking one of the granola bars.

James reaches for the cereals.

"I actually don't even remember the last time I ate something" He frowns and you know exactly what he's talking about. It's almost as if Hunger for Food doesn't really exist in this place. But even if you two aren't that hungry, a little snack for the nerves never harmed anybody, right?

"Yeah, it's weird" You bite into the granola bar, chewing slowly, it doesn't taste like much but at least it doesn't taste awful.

James has the same unfazed expression when he shoves a handful of cereals into his mouth.

"Definitely had better" He mumbles.

_______

After trying a few snacks and discovering none of them hold much flavor you and James give it up, eating things that don't have any taste when you're not exactly hungry isn't easy.

You end up a few drinks deep, talking, sharing some stories with each other.

"Oh no! What did you do then?" You ask, pulled into James Story of cleaning out his elderly neighbors basement for him.

"I wish I could say I was being a brave man about it but..." He shrugs a bit. "Something like a squeal escaped me and I ran. I mean, that thing was HUGE okay? The kind of Spider that could easily eat you whole" He laughs a bit.

It's really nice to see him like that, sharing a wholesome and funny Story.

You share a Story about your first time seeing a snake in the woods when you were a Teenager. It's Equal to his, the squeal and the running away.

You both laugh for a good Minute especially since you recreated your Teenager self's high pitched squeal which seemed to seriously crack him up.

"Those were some great stories, really" You sigh softly, taking another sip of your whisky.

"Yeah it's been...good, to think and talk about something else for once. Thank you, for, you know? Making me laugh" He doesn't want to sound too serious but you can guess how he means it. Probably not a lot to laugh at when someone that close to you passed away. You're happy you could get him to smile and laugh again, even if it was just for a little while.

"Wanna catch some sleep?" He asks, looking around this place once more.

"Yeah! I think I saw some blankets in the back, don't worry, I'll make sure they are the clean ones" You huff before getting out of the booth. The first few steps feel a bit wobbly and your hand needs to hold onto the table for support. Giving him a thumbs up before he can ask if you're okay, you can hold your liquor. You just didn't realize how much it was and how long you sat there with him.

It feels like hours went by..

It's so easy to talk to him, that defrosted Version of him is pretty adorable. He's shy and he doesn't like to brag about things, he doesn't even notice how handsome and really insanely hot he looks half the time.

"Don't uh, don't leave this here okay? Take it with you." James hands you the bottle of whisky. There isn't a whole lot left in it to begin with but you admire his strength and self control.

"Right! Fuck.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shove it in your face" You clutch the bottle tightly.

"It's okay." He leans back in the booth when you walk towards the back. You are trying to gather clean sheets and blankets. Catching a glimpse of yourself in the dusty mirror. You're a mess. Tacky clothes, some smeared mascara, hair in all directions. Maybe you should freshen just a bit. Give that man his jacket back too.

You fix what you can in the mirror with some tissues and comb your hair a few times. You switch his jacket for a Black Bomber jacket you found in the lockers. Probably the security man's jacket judging by the print on the back.

You walk out into the open area again, giving James his jacket and a clean blanket.

But the drinks make you wobble a bit again.

Taking a seat next to him before you stumble around or anything. "You really are pretty, you know that?" You sigh while he's so up close.

"You had a few drinks, come on, I'll tug you in" He makes a move to get you to stand up again but you slump into his side.

"You made me feel so good James, I miss your strong hand around my throat already" You trace the slow forming bruises with your fingers. Looking at him with big eyes.

"I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen, but this isn't the time or place for a recap." James tries to get himself out of the booth. He can't do it again, he hates himself enough for the first time even if he really did need it. But he can't touch you again, he's looking for Mary. He loves her. Only her.

She's the only thing that matters.

"I know! I know..and I'm sorry, I know I'm nothing but a drunk slut right now but I..- I made you feel good too didn't I? Let me make you feel good again, please" You softly tug on his arm.

He sits back down and you take it as a signal.

Your hand strokes over his thigh, leaning in closer.

"You said you'll behave..." his tone is so icey again, so cold. Distant. Almost annoyed.

"Puh...did I? Would it be so terrible if I didn't?" You tried to tease a bit but something in him went back to stone. He doesn't seem up for a round two which is...sad, but fair, you understand.

"No, but I can't." His thin lipped nod is all you need to know to slowly bring some distance between the two of you again.

"Besides that, you're drunk" He frowns when he moves himself onto the other booth. He can't do this again and he certainly won't touch you when you're drunk. He shouldn't have touched you in the first place but this part of him that really needed was simply stronger than any voice of reason in his head.

"Rest, we both need it." James takes one of the blankets and lays down. Covering himself almost to his ears. It does look comfortable in a way, so you lay down to try it out, pulling the security jacket and the other blanket over yourself as well. The booths really are comfortable.

You nod off into an uneasy and light sleep fast.

James however doesn't find a single moment of rest, whenever he closes his eyes he can see her, Mary, struggling to sit up to take a sip of water but still noticing the way Nurse Ashley puts her hand onto James arm. Ruthless little whore, flirting with her husband right in front of her like that, like she can't die fast enough or something.

'Hey let me help you-' James tries to put another pillow behind her back and hold her water but Mary angrily shoves him away. Spilling the water cup everywhere.

'GO! Go on and fuck that nurse James, don't pretend anymore, don't.. - don't pretend you still look at me that way. The way you look at her' Mary sobs.

'Mary? What are you talking about? There is no look, I don't look at her, okay? I'm looking at you, always, you know i do' James tries but she wouldn't have it. Wouldn't listen. She would yell at him but she's too weak for that.

James jolts up from the booth, holding his face with both hands. He can't sleep. He can't keep wasting time like that.

He needs to move on, he needs to find her.

His eyes trace your sleeping frame, carefully putting his blanket over you.

Collecting his things.

"I'm sorry" He sighs softly and quietly.

He doesn't want to leave you behind like that, but he needs to do what he came here for. He makes sure the place is safe and that the doors are secure before he leaves.

Darkness and fog don't mix very well, before he even knows it he's lost in some kind of hospital.

No way back now...right?

______

Hey thank you for reading!

Consider giving this some love over on Archive of our own?

Here

#silent hill 2 remake #james sunderland #silent hill #silent hill 2 #james sunderland x female reader #james sunderland x reader #james sunderland fanfiction #my writing #silent hill 2 fanfiction #silent hill fanfiction

37 notes · View notes

seapiglet · 1 year ago

Text

I've seen a LOT of shaming going round at the moment, both here and on twitter, of people who are seeking out good omens spoilers, mostly by those who have watched the new episodes in advance. despite what neil and david and michael may have said on the subject, it's rubbing me the wrong way! so I feel the need to make a potentially unpopular post about

✨SPOILERS AND NEURODIVERSITY✨

(and accessibility) 🤚🏼

now I cannot speak for everybody here but as an autistic person with ocd I actually !prefer! being spoiled ahead of time and will frequently read the entire wiki article for a show I'm about to watch (though weirdly CANNOT skip ahead with books?) in order to alleviate anxiety around the unexpected. trust me when I say that knowing what will happen in advance *enhances* the experience for me and I have yet to regret being deliberately spoiled, even when it comes to my absolute favourite things on earth, things I may have been waiting months and months (or in this case years) for. in fact, the longer I've had to wait, the more the feeling of gut-twisting anxiety and uncertainty beds down in my system and makes itself a very unwelcome house guest.

it's all very well insisting that everybody just be patient and ~wait and see~ but for a lot of neurodiverse folks this can be a very unsettling prospect. personally, I don't like surprises! I don't crave the sensation of being shocked by an unforeseen twist! it makes me do a panic! even the thought of it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

we're not simply throwing our toys out the pram because we WANT something and we WANT IT NOW (shout out to verruca salt). there is a soothing comfort and stability to predictability that is difficult to explain to somebody who doesn't experience this.

at this point I should mention that OBVIOUSLY not all neurodiverse/autistic/diagnosed-ocd people feel this way but that doesn't negate the fact that a lot of us do and there's not much we can do about it.

I'm aware that everybody's currently moralising about the rightness/wrongness of illicitly distributing and trading nuggets of forbidden information like crack-laced pokemon cards* (surely in this fandom everything should exist in a grey area?) but please don't jump on this as an opportunity to prove who's the most terribly righteous and which of us gets to wear the Super Duper Bestest Fan Neil's Favourite prefect badge for the day. devolving into needless factions and one-upmanship so near to the official airdate does nobody any good.

on another personal note (this is the 👂🏼♿accessibility♿👂🏼bit) I was due to attend one of the screenings and now can't due to the apparent lack of subtitles. pleeeeeaase think of accessibility, amazon. please? some of us have severely messed up ears and/or auditory processing disorders - it's not hurting anybody to have the words up on the screen but it excludes many of us if you don't.

again, if you think it's terrible and wrong to want to be spoiled or to share spoilers you are well within your rights to think that, and of course I encourage anybody who is participating in a bit of blackmarket spoiler dealing to utilise ALL the tags you can think of to keep it secret (keep it safe), or simply leave it to the DMs, but I really don't see the good in shaming others who feel differently.

uhh thank you and good day 🎩

(*hopefully that still scans - my references are as ancient and ephemeral as my knee cartilage)

#good omens #gos2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #good omens 2 #gos2 #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #personal #neurodiversity #ocd #did i put enough tags on this one?#i also have adhd and ptsd btw lmao #and an autoimmune disease which causes cognitive impairment #got allllll the high quality genes up in this bad boy [slaps thigh which immediately dislocates]

193 notes · View notes

iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 1 year ago

Note

M6 and MC during a storm or other bad weather event? Can be as fluffy or as angsty as you please.

(Bonus: What kind of umbrella would each LI have, if any?)

The Arcana HCs: M6 during thunderstorms

~ the way my mind gets flooded with serotonin just thinking about thunderstorms XD I've added some pics of the kinds of umbrellas I think they'd use too ^.^ thanks for the prompt anon! - brainrot ~

TW for mentions of panic attacks in Julian's and Portia's sections and tooth rotting fluff in general

Julian

HATES thunderstorms

They take him right back to the night he lost his family, until he's a scared little boy holding his baby sister and waiting for his parents to come save them all over again

Just the sound of rain alone used to send him into panic attacks as a kid and young teen, but he's been an adult on his own for a long time at this point and it's rare for him to have that reaction now

That doesn't stop him from getting anxious though

He'll alternate between uncharacteristic silence and feverish chattering, making overly casual comments on the weather

He will also be laser focused on you. He knows it's irrational, but he's got a deap-seated fear that the storm will take you from him too and he will follow you like a shadow

He doesn't want to become a nuisance though, so he'll be fussing over you nonstop - layering you with blankets, insisting you eat or drink every thirty minutes, dosing you with vitamins, etc

Of course, you love him, so you find a way to make things bearable

The sound of thunder and sensation of cold rain bother him the most, so cuddling in bed where it's warm and dry and the blankets can muffle the sounds is ideal

The best is when you ask him to read out loud to you. He gets to be close to you, make himself useful, and stay distracted all at once. Just don't let him have coffee, the jitters will send his anxiety through the roof

(He rarely uses his umbrella, but it's as gothic as he is and has a raven head carved in the handle)

Asra

LOVES the rain

Their magic is water-affiliated as it is, and you're telling them that everything's being splashed with it? Well what are you waiting for, MC, it's clearly time to go outside!

Constant smiling and giggling

The streets are almost completely empty because everyone sane is staying inside, and he takes full advantage of that. It's the most childlike, playful, and hyper you'll ever see him

Tag, you're it!

They'll run and give chase for as long as you can manage it, and as soon as one of you slows down they're pulling you into their arms to dance. Don't worry about the music, they'll make it happen somehow

Kisses in the rain with his hair plastered to his face will never not be delightful. He won't hold still for very long though, if you hold him too close he'll take it as his invitation to tickle you and run

Puddle-jumping competitions for the biggest splash

If you're not in the city, oh boy, they're hunting for the biggest mud pit they can find and pulling you into a match

Does not have the healthy fear of lightning that he should. Will stand in the middle of a field or try to climb a tree for a better view, and you have heard him at his loudest when he shouts back at it

The foamiest hot bath when you get home, they'll spend the rest of the evening curled up with you in front of the fire with hot chocolate

(They don't like using their umbrella anyways, so it turned into a magical art project)

Nadia

Rain holds unusually fond family memories for her

For starters, it usually signaled a drop in temperature, which was a welcome break in the tropical Prakran climate

But back home in Prakra with six busy older siblings and royalty for parents, thunderstorms were when everybody took a break and spent the day together in the palace with games and tea

She doesn't have to think twice about continuing that tradition with you

She'll usually give everyone the afternoon off once basic Palace upkeep tasks are finished and spend it with you

She loves sitting on the veranda with you in the afternoon, commenting on the lightning and listening to the thunder and rain, drinking tea with you and telling you stories of her childhood

As soon as it starts to get dark she's taking you inside and putting together a dinner in the kitchens. You and the palace chefs know she doesn't really cook, so they'll leave some "ingredients" to find

"Ingredients" often being a cold roast bird of some kind, a freshly baked loaf of bread "hidden" in the cupboard, a bowl of greens with the dressing on a different table, and two "forgotten" plates of dessert

You don't know if she knows that kitchens aren't usually like that, and you have no intention of telling her otherwise

She'll retire with you to her chambers early, so she can lie in bed with the windows open and listen to your voice and the rain

(She has a collection of umbrellas for different outfits, mostly used for garden events)

Muriel

You didn't expect it, but Muriel feels supremely at peace when it rains

As a kid, it was one of the only times when the city would get quiet. He could go out in the rain, and just for once, walk as far as he wanted to without bumping into anyone or being looked at

He could stand in the middle of the widest street and hold as still and breathe as deeply as he wanted to without a single person yelling at him to move

And nobody wanted to attend the roofless Coliseum when it was raining

Out in the woods? It's even better

He takes a quiet pride in knowing that for once the forest is louder than the people are

And the cold doesn't bother him in the slightest

There's a part of the hut roof that juts out by several feet and he keeps a stool there. He'll lean back into the tree roots and stone wall, watching the curtain of rain an arm's length away with a contented smile

To him, rain sounds and smells like freedom and new beginnings

He'll never pressure you to join him, but he'll be so happy if you do

It's an atmosphere where he's the most at home in his own body, so you can expect him to initiate a lot more physical touch

He'll be comfortable enough to pull you into his lap and wrap a cloak around the two of you to keep you warm and dry

Gentle kisses against the cold stone, wrapped up in his warmth and a thick blanket while the earth smells fresh and the rain tap dances on the leaves all around you

(Asra got it for him as a gag gift and he unironically adores it and uses it all the time)

Portia

She gets super irritable when it rains

Do you know? What hair like hers likes to do? When it gets this humid? Do you know? How much time it takes? To clean up the bucketloads of mud? That Pepi tracks all over the floor?

Yeah, she didn't think so

She doesn't talk about it (and frankly, she's not the introspective type, so she might not even be aware of it) but the trauma of that shipwreck stays with her even if she can't remember it completely

So no, she doesn't get flashbacks or nightmares, but as soon as it starts thundering she's plagued with a sense of unease and danger that she just can't shake

She also associates it with watching her teenaged older brother panic and meltdown, which isn't the most positive memory

And of course, it doesn't help that rainy days mean keeping a very active person cooped up inside with nothing to do but keep house

She'll spend the first few hours obsessively getting her space in order - meal prepping, cleaning, organizing, list-writing

It's better not to get involved until there's nothing left for her to do

That's your cue to help her tie back her hair, brew some soothing tea (or something stronger, if she's really fidgety) and sit with her on the couch while she talks a mile a minute all about her week

It will take a few years, but eventually she'll come to associate rain with you so strongly that she might even come to love it

(She likes having the brightest, most distracting umbrella possible for such miserable weather)

Lucio

He doesn't like thunderstorms. At all

He's generally tougher than he acts - he grew up with Morga as a parent, after all - but his brand of bad weather as a kid was snowstorms and blizzards and fierce winds

Not all this business with metal-attracted bolts of sky electricity and sudden, loud noises and water that makes everything muddy and gets everywhere (especially on the dogs!)

Unless it's impossible, he's spending thunderstorms inside, no matter how tight your budget is

As soon as it becomes anything more than a light drizzle, he's cancelling all of today's plans and going off in search of affordable, effective shelter

If he had it his way, he'd do his best to sleep through the whole weather event hunkered down beneath a pile of quilts and blankets

The problem is with Mercedes and Melchior. They love the rain

There's mud! There's exciting new smells! Let them out, let them out to play!

And Lucio, of course, will let them out like the doting dog dad he is, and then they'll come back inside with their white fur drenched and matted with mud and shake it all over everything

The only thing all three of them agree on is that lightning and thunder = bad

The dogs of course have sensitive ears, and no matter how many times he hears it, it always makes Lucio jump (too unexpected)

Your cuddles will be desperately sought after and much appreciated

(The first umbrella is the one Lucio wanted to buy. The second is what he got, because it needs to fit in his traveling pack)

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana fluff #the arcana angst #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

328 notes · View notes

nerdraging4point0 · 8 months ago

Text

The Scorpion and the Scales // Chapter Five // PolyAU

Tropes and Tags: MF, MFM, MFMM, instalove, too much sex, tattooed musicians, polyverse, friends to lovers.

Content warning: 18+ only MDNI, PinV, PinA, oral (f!recieveing, m!recieving), threesomes, light BDSM, voyeurism, exhibitionism, partner sharing, jealousy, angst.

This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction.

Active taglist: @ladyveronikawrites @tearfallpixie @beaker1636 @circle-with-me @synthetic-wasp-570 @itsjustemily @thesazzb @vinyardmauro @cookiesupplier @concreteemo @dominuslunae @mountains-to-move @sundamariis @caitcoreeeee @crimson-calligraphyx @letmeadoreyoux @starsomens @artificialbreezy @lma1986 @iknownothingpeople @lilrubles @shilohrosechicken @missduffsblog @jessicafg03 @thatchickwiththecamera @mysticdoodlez @chels3a-smile @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @deathblacksmoke @roley-poley-foley @ravieisunhinged @dethronetheveil @to-be-written @somewhere-diamond @somebodyels3 @sacredthefran @th0ughts-pr4yers @bloody-delusion-expert

The week with Noah had flown by in a blur of pier dates, shopping sprees, late night movies, and even later nights between the sheets. It felt like less than seven days. He'd asked if I could make it to the rock festival kicking off the fall tour next week. I'd nearly forgotten about it. I told him I wasn't sure about my work schedule, which wasn't a total lie.

Back at the office grind, the magical week with Noah seemed like a distant memory. I'd completely forgotten to check if I could get the time off for the festival. I was just clocking out for lunch when my phone buzzed with a new text. It was from Chris. He'd sent a screenshot of a ticket QR code for the festival. Underneath was a simple message that sent my anxiety spiraling:

See you there.

Oh god, this could be a disaster. I feel my heart start to race as I realize Noah and Chris will both be at the festival. How can I face them together? Noah will be crushed if he finds out Chris was the one I slept with right before we started dating. Am I even dating him? He never asked, just seemed implied. He'll think I'm just some groupie, trying to hook up with every metal singer I can.

My hands are shaking and my stomach is in knots.

I texted him back in a panic, scrambling to come up with an excuse to get out of going to the festival. I told him I wasn't sure I could afford the ticket now, what with everything else going on. It was a lame excuse, I know, but I was desperate.

"You're VIP, don't argue with me. I'll see you there," he wrote back firmly. He wasn't having any of my hedging. I could tell he really wanted me to be there, but I just couldn't do it.

The festival is tomorrow. How am I supposed to come clean before then? Is it even worth going at this point? I should just tell them now rather than drop this bomb when I see them there. My mind is spinning, trying to justify delaying this conversation.

I found myself wandering aimlessly down the street to the nearby park, escaping from my office for a few minutes. Sitting on the cool metal bench, I pulled up their numbers and started a group text. It's easier to explain things to both of them at once rather than dragging it out one-on-one. If I tried to type this all out twice, I know I wouldn't be able to do it.

"Boys," I began, my hands shaking, "I'm sorry I haven't been fully honest with you two. But to be fair, neither of you clearly defined what we were to each other. I don't know what it means that I've been with you both—are we just friends with benefits? Was I dating one of you? Both of you? I'm so confused. Before I see you at the festival tomorrow and this all blows up, we need to get this out in the open."

My heart pounds as I hit send on the nonsensical text. The minutes of my lunch break tick by, yet my phone remains silent. I stare at the screen, willing a response to appear. Nothing.

Now I'm back at my desk, panic swirling in my gut. What was I thinking, sending something so random? The silence is deafening.

I can barely focus, rereading our thread over and over. My pulse races and my throat tightens. What if I scared them away for good this time? Or made them think I'm unhinged?

Tapping away at my phone as we taxi down the runway, I feel a knot in my stomach when her name and an unknown number pops up on the screen. I don't recognize the number, but the area code says Los Angeles. Reading the cryptic words over and over, I realize I have no clue what to say. Glancing at Rick dozing peacefully in the seat beside me, I envy his relaxed flying mentality. Airplanes make me uneasy, though it's not really a fear thing. I just don't like the lack of control when we're thousands of feet in the air. Rick calls it my need for control.

The second we landed in Denver, my stomach twisted. My mind raced as we made our way through the terminal. Should I try to see her while we're here? Could I somehow explain everything face-to-face? That might be better than a text or call. Oh man, what would I even say? "Hey, remember that passionate night we shared? Well, I'm still crazy about you..." Yeah, no way. I'm in way over my head here.

My fingers fly across the keyboard, responding before my brain has time to catch up. "Whoa, wait, let's rewind. First things first - who else are we talking about here?"

It's barely past four, and I'm sure she's already off work - she always leaves early on Thursdays. I watch the three dots bouncing at the bottom of my screen, eyes glued, wondering how complicated this story she's typing could possibly be.

Her text pings through, and it takes me a solid minute to parse it all.

"Okay, Cliff Notes version: I met you both at your concerts. Noah - Chris and I hooked up after his show and have been flirty since. Chris - I visited Noah in LA and we obviously got physical, if you know what I mean."

I read her words again, slowly, trying to fit the pieces together in my head. I've never been great at puzzling things out on my own - I do better thinking out loud.

"Noah...concert...Los Angeles," I murmur, voice echoing my thoughts.

"What about Bad Omens?" Vin interjects, tuning into my words.

"Huh?" I reply, confused.

"Noah, LA, concert - Bad Omens, right?" As he says it, the lightbulb clicks on. Noah Sebastian. Noah Sebastian!

My fingers are flying across the keyboard again. “Noah, like Bad Omens, Noah Sebastian. That Noah?”

The unknown number is responding.

“Yeah, and who are you?” another three dots and he’s texting again.

“Chris Cerulli.” I type out my name as if it matters. I never use my last name, but i’ve met Noah before, we sat next to each other in several interviews on shiprocked.

“Motionless? Oh shit.”

I'm at a loss for words. Bad Omens is set to play at the festival the day after tomorrow, so there's no question Noah's already here in Denver or he's about to fly in. I'm trying to compartmentalize the whirlwind in my mind, desperate to make some sense of it all. I've hooked up with girls without attachments or commitments before - I'm sure Noah's done the same. To be honest, I hadn't considered anything too serious between us. I was enjoying the casual vibe we had going on. But now, knowing she might be with someone else...could I really do that? Could Noah? I don't know.

I type away to the chat, taking a breath and holding it as I see my words plastered out to the void. “But you’re still coming to the festival, right?”

I slump down in this too-small chair at LAX, ball cap pulled low and sunglasses hiding my eyes. I'm trying to disappear - don't want anyone recognizing me. I'm also trying to hide the fact that I'm royally pissed off. Can't put my finger on who I'm mad at though. Her, for hooking up with him? Myself, for just assuming we were exclusive without ever saying it outright? Both seem likely. I know I can't hold her past against her, but damn, running into her ex on set tomorrow is gonna sting like hell. This waiting around, with nowhere to put all this frustrated energy - it's killing me. I need to hit the gym or something, get this poison out of my system.

They announce our flight is boarding, I rise from my seat and keep my eyes averted, anxiously spinning my phone between my hands before briefly presenting the digital boarding pass on the screen to the attendant. She offers me a polite smile, but I'm too preoccupied to return the gesture. When we locate our assigned seats, I take the window spot, absentmindedly watching the ground crew below load the luggage onto the rotating conveyor belt leading to the plane's cargo hold. I spot my battered old suitcase passing by, along with the band's instruments and the rest of our haphazardly packed carry-ons. We could have easily driven to our destination, but Matt insisted that flying would be faster.

As I sit here on this plane, my mind races with thoughts of her. How can I possibly end things when every fiber of my being screams to stay? We aren’'t exclusive, I could walk away without a glance back. But she's burrowed deep under my skin, and try as I might, I can't shake her. Never before have I wavered when it came to matters of the heart. Cross me and you're gone. Disappoint me and I won't think twice. I trust my gut and never look back. But she's different. With her, I'm plagued by indecision and self-doubt. I'm a Scorpio to the core - intense, all or nothing. Once I've crossed that bridge, I burn it down in flames. But with her, I find myself lingering on the edges, unable to take that final step. She's awakened something in me I don't recognize. A vulnerability I've never known. A connection I'm not ready to sever.

My phone is in airplane mode but I can't help staring at the texts on the screen, as if somehow they will change my mind or provide the answers I'm desperately seeking. I know it's fruitless, just words on a muted screen, but I read them over and over, having already committed every word to memory. With a sigh, I finally close out and sit back, trying in vain to relax in the cramped airline seat before I inevitably reopen our conversation.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Captain Manning," the pilot's voice stirs the sleepy passengers as we touch down in Denver. "On behalf of all our staff and United Airlines, we welcome you to Denver, Colorado." The cabin erupts in a shuffle of activity as passengers hastily gather their belongings, eager to deplane. I hesitantly switch off airplane mode and wait as my phone explodes with a barrage of emails and notifications before the message I've been anxiously anticipating finally comes through. My heart pounds as I open it, knowing those few words will determine my mood and mindset when I step off this plane into the next phase of my journey, for better or worse.

Motionless' text message lands in my inbox and I hesitate before opening it, wary that its contents might ignite an argument or stir unwelcome pity - both options I'd rather avoid. His text is brief and to the point: "Can you meet me at the Embassy tonight?" I glance across the aisle at Matt and Folio, already busily packing their bags, eager to exit the plane and head straight for our rooms at the Mariott.

I know I should wait until I'm settled at the hotel before responding, take time to think it over and discuss meeting up with Matt first. But instead, on impulse, I type back a quick "yes" before I can overthink or talk myself out of it.

Motionless and I have a complicated history of passion for our music and some unspoken rivalry between our fans, i’m not really sure where that rumor got started. While part of me wants to avoid potential conflict, another part is drawn like a moth to flame, curious to see what might transpire when we come together again. I click send on the text, sealing my fate. Now all that's left is to wait and wonder what the night will bring.

Stepping out of the shower, I'm barely dry before my phone pings. Noah's been radio silent all day while Chris has come out of left field and downright. Their thoughts have been impossible to read. My screen lights up with a text - they've agreed to meet at the Embassy downtown where Chris is staying.

I get dressed with a heavy heart, bracing myself for the inevitable end. This is it, I just know it. I'm not ready to say goodbye, but ripping off the bandaid is better than prolonging the pain. It's like being a kid dragged to the dentist for a tooth extraction before the promised ice cream cone after. You want the sweet reward, just not the agony that comes before it. Tonight it will all be over, and although my heart is not prepared, my head knows it's time to face the music.

I drive in silence, my nerves making the quiet even more deafening. Parking with the valet, I step inside the lavish hotel lobby on shaky legs. The elevators require a keycard for the upper floors, so I awkwardly text that I've arrived. Neither comes down to get me, instead sending a hotel employee to escort me up. The ride is excruciating - me avoiding eye contact while the man stands too close. I knock on their door, praying no one else is in the hall to witness my humiliation.

My heart pounds as Chris answers the door, his blonde hair cascading past his ears, dressed casually in a gray hoodie and adidas pants. I catch a glimpse of Noah sitting on the couch, elbows on knees, hands clasped together, staring at me intently. My stomach lurches and I want to bolt - I can't go through with this.

Chris gently grasps my arm just above the elbow, guiding me into the hotel room. He leads me to the end of the couch, sitting me down a few spaces from Noah. I can't bring myself to look at either of them, consumed by shame, the tension suffocating.

Chris moves the coffee table out a bit before perching on it directly in front of me, just an arm's length from Noah. We sit in excruciating silence before I finally blurt out, "There isn't much else to say."

“I think there is a lot to say,” Chris said “I mean i’ve been bouncing around with it a lot, i’m on the fence, but I am cool to keep things casual between us.” I blinked at Chris, trying to hide my disappointment as he rambled on with that wishy-washy response. His leg bounced nervously and he kept fidgeting with his hands, like he couldn't get comfortable saying it out loud. I knew he wasn't totally sold on the whole "casual" thing between us, but I wasn't about to beg him for more of a commitment.

My eyes slid over to Noah, who was intently focused on his own fingers as he twisted them around each other. "And you?" I asked hesitantly, bracing myself for a similar non-committal answer.

"Casual. Casual works," he mumbled, still not looking up. I wanted to scream in frustration. Chris could at least pretend to be enthusiastic about keeping things casual, but Noah sounded about as interested in me as a lump of clay. This whole conversation was not going how I had hoped at all. I shifted awkwardly, already planning my escape from this uncomfortable situation.

My blood boils as the words spew from my mouth. "Could someone please offer me something other than half-assed phrases they think I wanna hear?" Chris's mouth gapes open and closed like a fish out of water, unable to form a response. Noah slaps his knees and stands abruptly from the couch.

"We're both going on tour, that's two maybe three months we'll be busy traveling. Let's just text, keep in touch as friends. If we want a hookup we'll call," he says matter-of-factly.

I see red. "Do I get the same grace? If you want to fuck me, a phone call is all it takes? What about me, do I just have to call? I won't have this one-sided bullshit." My heart hammers in my chest as I stare them down, daring them to argue. The tension in the room is palpable and I'm ready to explode.

My eyes darted between Chris and Noah as the tension in the room became palpable. Chris's calm demeanor never wavered as he promised, "Whatever you want, I'm there. Or I'll fly to you. The minute I know it won't work, I'll tell you - I'll be completely transparent."

I couldn't resist embracing him in gratitude, whispering a heartfelt "thank you" in his ear. As I stepped back, I noticed Noah staring at the floor, hands buried in his hoodie pockets. He slowly lifted his gaze to meet mine, jaw twitching, dark eyes peering at me through long lashes.

"And you?" I asked gently.

I hold my breath as he moves toward me, the room so quiet you could hear a pin drop. In an instant his hands are at my waist, yanking me against his hard body as his mouth claims mine in a searing kiss that steals my ability to think. I cling to him, my fingers tangling in his hair, kissing him back with everything I have. I want this man, all of him, and I desperately hope this isn't the end for us.

#bad omens fic #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens rpf #noah sebastian fic #bad omens smut #noah sebastian smut #Chris Motionless fic #Chris Motionless smut #ricky olson smut #ricky olson fic #miw band #miw #chris motionless #chrismotionlessfanfic #motionless in white fanfiction #motionless in white smut #polyverse

41 notes · View notes

curiouschaosstarlight · 8 months ago

Note

hello!! this is some encouragement! I also have anxieties, as well as general difficulty Living Life due to executive dysfunction. but that Want you have is proof enough that you SHOULD push out a little more! your bones long for sunshine, your brain longs for other brains to bounce off of! something that helped me out was two things: resolving to go on more little walks, and learning how to cook better. it's small, and neither will Totally Change Your Life, but it's an extra Kick to get you moving and more used to having some variety. anxiety-wise, i would examine WHAT anxieties you have and make appropriate preparations. scared of getting hurt? see if there's any martial arts places in your area; learning some self-defense and improving your Reaction reflexes can help with that A LOT. worried about poor interactions with strangers? first, think of some ways they could go WELL. then, think of some /realistic/ ways they could go bad, and practice calming down and accepting those circumstances. the cashier being mildly annoyed with you is not the end of the world, after all! stuff like that. and i know we basically never talk, but i see you in my notes quite a lot, so i've come to consider you a friend :) please, feel free to say howdy anytime! even if it's just tagging in a meme.

Hey, same hat!! (Well, probably. I don't have an -official- diagnosis because...well, because the healthcare system sucks and I keep getting the runaround, but it's getting increasingly clear to me and my loved ones that I probably have really bad, undiagnosed ADHD)

I definitely need to go on more walks TwT I was doing really well, going on walks with my mom on early mornings! ...but then, story of my life, Something Happened and "The Habit" Broke. (In this case, it snowed and mom didn't want to walk when there was a bunch of snow on the ground, and I didn't want to go without her) So I have to restart the walking (again), but I still need to do it. I want to cook stuff more often ;w; even if it's just simple stuff. But my current physical situation (slightly with me and my injured shoulder, but primarily with certain stuff outside of my control), that is currently not an option for me qvq

Ironically, fun fact, for all my anxieties and emotional problems, walking around alone has never really scared me (even, or rather especially, at night; night walks are my JAM) unless it's ~mosquito hours~ (See, I have fans! Thousands and thousands of teeny tiny ones........they only want me for my body tho.......) ...Conversely, my body's reaction to rejection (or even perceived rejection) is aaaallll janked up to high heavens qvq and the idea that someone will hate me/dislike me/think I'm "weird" or "annoying" is definitely my biggest obstacle when it comes to approaching new people. (The rise of purity/callout/cancel culture has, uh, definitely not helped as you might imagine...) Definitely my currently biggest problem is I don't have any good ways of calming myself without going to my two best friends for support/distraction, which...really isn't viable in a lot of situations. (<- Something that I realized while reading this ask!) I'm sort of good at doing things like pressing "send" or "join" past my panic and just letting myself panic fully afterwards, but this also is not good long-term...something I absolutely need to look into more.

Awww! ^w^ Thank you! We may not talk much, but I do really value the times you do respond to the stuff I say! And I will! (Also, memes are definitely funner when you have more people to tag >:3c)

#luesmainblog #ask #tfw you're just casually trying to create in the background and get a super kind ask <3

3 notes · View notes

thesoulesscollection · 2 years ago

Text

Comfort For The Tough (Request)

Request: Hi, again! I have another Toppat storyline request. It's a hurt/comfort, maybe Right worried/sad about something and Reginald trying to calm him down, which Reginald isn't quite used to because it's usually vice-versa?

Hey, I'm so terribly sorry that your request took me so long to finish. Been dealt a bad hand of writer block and other things. Like always you or anyone else interested can send in any request - it may take me a while though.

Tw/Tags: Canon Divergence, Toppat Henry, Mentioned Henry, Mild Angst, Hurt/Comfort, & Mild Panic Attacks

Reginald's heart leaps up into his throat, a hand clasped over, left helpless he stands aside uncomfortably where his love is in the midst of a horrible panic attack.

"It's going to be okay" He sat on his knees, gently prying the clammy hands away from the man's crumpled, scarred face, "You're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you again"

This truly amazed him, how the man, so big and buff in size, an intimidatingly gruff force to beckon with, can curl up small it's got to be painful.

"You don't need to say anything, dear. I'm here" Scooting closer, he was now a few inches, intending for Right to make the final decision if desired.

"... I-I'm so sorry…" The redhead manages to croak, a teary eye looks up as the other glowing red stares lifelessly ahead at no one in particular.

"Whatever are you sorry for? There's no reason why you should?"

Unraveling his tangled up limbs, the man straightens his posture, quickly attempting to wipe the tears that stained his face, "I… Didn't do my job properly. I-I promised to protect you but I didn't… I got hurt. Badly. I was helpless to do anything… Y-you. You were in danger an-"

"You did all that you could. That's all I could ever ask from you" Reginald cups his partner's damp cheek, thumb able to dry the tears, "Nobody would've thought that. He… Would have a chainsaw on his person and that he'll use it on you. We did what ought to be done so the past is best forgotten"

When Reginald came down from that high himself, dealt with the danger of having a total stranger break into their airship, likely to steal information or for worse. The latter had not been true, far from so as he was choked by his own gold necklace hanging off the ship's edge, a military plane a bit off. A million things had gone through his mind at the time, the state of his clan if he was arrested, and whether his devoted deputy was alive. Gosh, he's stricken with terror, yet he didn't intend to express such weakness to the intruder who brought him to such a dire situation, he's much tougher then what people often perceive him. Even when giving the reign over to the stranger, Reginald knew to always think ahead just in case and he had no qualms in taking what's rightfully his back.

However, such plans came to a halt when he heard the horrid news, his beloved is left in a worse condition nobody expected him to come unscathed. The angry bruise across his neck faded by now is nothing compared to his partner's horrid state, left for dead, injured permanently never to be the same again.

"I thought that I got a good handle on the dang kid. I've done this before on my own and won… Then w-why is this one so dang different... It seems like he got this unnatural luck on his bloody side and it infuriates me. Like he knew what was gonna happen next"

Soon seething anger replaces the bubbling panicking anxiety, voice crackling in pitch as Right’s freckled, tanned face scrunches up, turning to a bright, flushed hue. His good hand balls up into a tight fist, the other lays limp on his lap.

Shaking his head, Reginald sighs, "I know, darling, I know it hurts. You may not feel all too confident but please, don't you worry"

"I d-don't…" Taking in a deep, shallow breath then exhaling through his flared nostrils, Right felt a smidgen better, not completely whole, "... I-I'm still confused… Wha… Why did you allow him in here? To our clan, your pride and joy when he was sent here to dismantle us. Why did you let him be our new leader… After everything he put us. Me through…"

When Right continued to hesitantly inch forward, he kept a distance like it wouldn't be his best choice. The bigger man is a shaky mess, wearily eyeing him, cautious, similar to a scared caged animal. Hurt is made evident in his wounded, half robotic expression and what got to Reginald the most is the fear.

"It… It wasn't my best idea, okay so I'll be truthful with you there. I was terribly scared and for a split second without a thought, I blurted it out" Reginald mumbles out his admission, stiffly shrugging, instinctively holding his partner's hand, squeezing it in silent comfort. "That he won, I gave him the title. I didn't desire for any of this to happen, you know"

"That's outta be the stupidest idea you got yet, Reg"

"I know, really, I know. I do have a backup plan in case something goes askew. I have a sneaking suspicion it will"

One day soon enough that grimy, no good thief will trip on his own feet to which when that finally happened Reginald would be there to return the crown rightfully back on his head. It has to be at any moment that the careless scoundrel will fall apart as the man doesn't stand a chance in the clan against his superior years as leader.

"Most important is that you're safe. Alive. With me. So we can worry about this later"

Right raised a brow, skeptically, now sat beside Reginald, lying his head on the man's shoulder, "You better. I… Can't stand him... He scares me…" Breathing remains haggard, hand clammy when it grips Reginald's for the comfort.

"I know, dear. I'm sorry"

In his head Reginald, determined, sets a plan to remove the dangerous threat with whatever it takes, despite the possible serious consequences.

38 notes · View notes

atripandahalf · 1 year ago

Text

you still think we live in a world so beautiful (you see, i think i don't believe in this stuff anymore)

(ao3) (AU link)

In which a mother is too overprotective, a daughter is too big for her boots, and Eddie is left to unknowingly pick up the pieces.

AKA "You ruined a perfectly good, puppet. Look, it's got anxiety."

part of my mlpth au for welcome home but can be read as standalone! please send me asks about this AU :)

tags: implied childhood abuse (infantilisation/gaslighting if you squint), panic attacks, trauma

"What did I say, Poppy?" Ma's voice rang throughout the wood, echoing around the clearing, "About practicing your flying alone?" The clearing was large, surrounded by towering oak trees. They stood strong and thick, casting large looming shadows over the clearing. Their presence was imposing, almost like they were standing guard, reminding Poppy that there was no way she could escape. Ma had brought her here after finding her jumping from tree branch to tree branch, attempting to capture a breeze under her wings, gathering enough momentum to glide to the next branch. The crunch of the sticks under her was loud as Ma paced back and forth, animatedly gesturing along with her words, and her eyebrows were creased together in the way they always did when she was displeased with something Poppy had done.

Poppy shifted uncomfortably from where she was perched on a log laid sideways. The frustration at her mother for not letting her fly had long ebbed away, having sat like this for long enough to only feel embarrassment and shame. She hated being in trouble, and even more so hated doing anything that resulted in her Ma's anger. It made her feel small, like a little kid again, and worst of all made her feel like her mother didn't believe she was capable enough to do things the way the adults did. She wasn't a kid anymore, she could do it. Just because her wings were smaller than other birds, doesn't mean she couldn't fly. She just had to try a little harder, keep practising.

"Not to do it..." She mumbled, "But Ma, how will I ever learn to fly if you don't let me try?" She looked up, hopeful. Her feathers were moulting, the dark grey and black patches left were due to turn colourful soon, like the rest of her plumage. She was a small little thing, only just beginning to grow up, Ma thought. Her wings weren't fully in yet, certainly not enough to fly safely - and besides, Ma liked having her home, where she could keep an eye on her.

Ma moved closer, sitting next to Poppy, "You can fly when your wings are ready; you shouldn't push yourself, dear." The older bird's feathers were duller, greying slightly, and her left wing was crooked, bending at an awkward angle. Whenever Poppy had asked what had happened, she was regaled with tales of horrible monsters - a cruel world full of violence, and a dark look on her mother's face. She didn't ask Ma very often. Poppy opened her mouth, about to cut her mother off, arguing that there was no good reason why she should wait, before Ma finished, "I wouldn't be able to catch you if you fall."

Ma's gaze dropped and she flexed her hand repetitively. Poppy grasped it firmly with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, and Ma moved her hand out of Poppy's, holding Poppy's chin, pulling it up and making sure she could make eye contact with her daughter as her expression softened, "Promise me?" She murmured, "Promise me you won't fly 'til your ready?"

Poppy blinked twice, before biting her lip, "Of course, Ma."

---

Poppy cracked her window open slightly, leaning out into the cold air. It was nighttime, and her mother was fast asleep in the other room. She doesn't have to know, Poppy thought, and, if she doesn't know, then what's the harm? She had a bag in one hand, with a mason jar of water and some snacks tucked inside.

It was just her and Ma in the flock, Pa died when she was young, and Ma took over all the responsibilities. Ma taught her to read and write, cooked dinner and taught her to bake. Gentle hands were always used to guide her, letting her try things as many times as she needed. "Perfection takes time," Ma always used to say. Poppy knew that it could take nights to get it right, and that was okay. She knew that when she had got it when she could finally fly, she would be free. Besides, Ma had said she should wait until she was ready - and she was ready now.

She squeezed herself through the window, leaving it open. She'd be back soon, learning to fly could take weeks or months, and she knew she shouldn't get her hopes up. Still, she could feel the familiar adrenaline through her veins. The world wasn't cruel, she would prove her mother wrong.

Poppy followed the tree branch across, warming herself up by jumping from platform to platform. Ma couldn't fly, but she still liked having her perch in high places, so their home was nestled into the crook of an oak tree, with a platform between each of the branches. Pa had built a safety net just under the tree's canopy, in case Ma did fall, so it would only be a short drop. Poppy usually practised flying within the forest, the safety net there just in case - she may disagree with her Mother's fretting but if she breaks a wing then she'll never fly anywhere again. But she had been training enough, she could glide short distances, and as she neared the edge of the forest, on a high enough branch to truly gain momentum, she knew she was ready.

The forest was almost eerily silent. Poppy had chosen a clear route for her first flight path. She stretched her wings gently, back and forth, the repetitive movement soothing her. Her feathers rustled slightly in the wind, the tree trunk hard and secure under her feet. It was important her muscles didn't cramp mid-flight, and that she was calm enough to keep a clear head. Her breath was still a little shaky as she exhaled. She dropped the bag on the ground, and took a deep breath, in and out, calming herself. She cracked her neck. Her heart raced, and she focused on her body. She backed away from the edge of the branch, getting into position, before running, and jumping off the branch.

There was a horrible second where she was falling straight down, a momentary pang of "What if Ma was right?" as her stomach dropped out from under her before she felt the wind catch under her wings. She exhaled a breath of relief, and then a noise of joy as her face split into a grin. She was doing it, she was flying! Her wings billowed out on either side of her, and she flapped a little, practising changing the height she was flying at as she tested her new ability. The wind rushed past her face, stronger than she had ever felt it, and she was higher than she had ever been.

As she looked around her, the trees looked like they were flying past her, and the fireflies helped provide light as she got the hang of flying for the first time, joy bubbling up inside of her and leading to laughter as she swooped in between branches, up and down, left and right. She flew just above the nearby river, watching the fish jump in the water, and she leaned her right wing down and ran the tip through the flow of water, cold against her wing.

She pulled up, flying a little lower than before as her wings started to ache. She needed to find a place to land and soon. She looked down and found a small clearing nearby, shady and surrounded by trees. There were a few rocks and a small pond. It was good enough and she landed. She sat down on the rocks, tucking her wings in, and letting out a tired sigh. Her eyes drooped with tiredness, and her body was sore and ached. She might have overdone it a little, but it was worth it to finally feel the breeze on her face. She'd just rest here for a few moments, she thought, and then when she was well-rested, in the daylight, she'd fly home.

---

Poppy yawned, stretching as she woke up. She was resting on something hard, harder than her usual bed of soft leaves. There wasn't the familiar scent of Ma cooking breakfast or the warmth of the fireplace she was used to. She wasn't home. She looked up and took in her surroundings. She was in the same small clearing as last night, with twigs and leaves on the floor, painting the flooring in red, orange and brown. The trees still towered above her, but as she looked closer she could see that in the daylight the trunk was thinner, the branches were more spindly; there were a few clusters of blackberries in the trees. She looked around. Her stomach sank, and dread filled her, as she frantically tried to find the direction where she came from, but all the trees looked the same. There was no difference, no markings, not even a suggestion of which direction she had come from. Everything looked different in the daylight.

Ma had never told her what to do if she got lost, because she had promised to never leave; and now all Ma was going to find was her bag, and she was going to die in a clearing all alone, starving to death, with no way to escape. She hadn't broken a wing, but maybe flying hadn't been what she wanted - maybe Ma was right, and home was safer. What was she going to do for shelter? What if the world really was cruel, and something was going to get her sooner rather than later? Her hands grew sweaty, and her breathing quickened, and she knew she was spiralling, but what else was she supposed to do?

A series of noises sounded through the clearing, rhythmic and echoing, like the beats of a drum. Poppy hid behind a rock, although it was far smaller than she was, and crouched down, making herself look small.

"Oh, hello!" A voice echoed, but she stayed hidden, eyes down, even as the man continued speaking, "Are you alright?"

The footsteps moved closer, and she looked up briefly. Was this one of the monsters Ma had been talking about? His skin was a warm yellow, and he had pink-red hair hidden under a blue thing on his head, the rim black and sticking out, with something circular and shiny on the front - a status symbol perhaps. Although, he had a rainbow thing around his neck that looked to be made to keep him in place. He had a bag round his middle, with the same emblem on it and some words written on it. He looked friendly, but Ma had said so did the people who broke her wing, and she couldn't afford to take that chance.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he moved closer still, just the other side of the rock, "You can come back to the neighbourhood, and you can eat and sleep in a bed, and you can meet the others. We're like a family."

There were more of them? She had to admit, being somewhere warm with a bed was a better bet than sleeping out the others. Poppy looked up at him, and he smiled in response, "What's your name?"

"Poppy. What's yours?"

With unbridled confidence, he looped his arm under hers and pulled her up to her feet, "I'm Eddie. Welcome to the neighbourhood, Poppy."

#Welcome Home #welcome home arg #Poppy Partridge #eddie dear #welcome home fanfic #welcome home au #welcome home Eddie #welcome home poppy #fanfic #writeblr

16 notes · View notes