#play with a brillo pad next to his ear

[columboscreens]

[madpanda75]

“Taking Chances Part 8: A Case of the Ex”

Oh Sonny, what are we going to do with you? Actually I can certainly think of one or two things 😜 Anyways, welcome to Part 8 where we find out how the reader reacts when Sonny brought over his “mystery guest”  to dinner 👀 

Thanks for all the love with this series! You guys are amazing ❤️

This couldn’t be happening. This was a dream. Yes, a dream. You were simply having a nightmare. It was an illusion. A succession of images that usually occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep. Any moment now you would wake up with Rafael’s limbs entangled around you like overgrown vines, heating your body. You swore that man was a walking furnace. From under the table you discreetly pinched your arm, wincing slightly when you felt the sharp pain from where your nails dug into your skin. Oh no. That proved it. This was real.

When you announced to your family that the engagement with Theo was off, you happened to leave out several important details such as coming home from work early one day to find him in bed with the flighty twenty-one year old who delivered your dry cleaning. Only your sisters knew the truth and you practically made them swear a blood oath that they wouldn’t tell a soul.

It’s not that you were a particularly private person. Being raised in the Carisi household, everyone was in each other’s business. But with Theo, it was different. He was your next door neighbor. You grew up together. You were the Mary to his Joseph in the Nativity play in the third grade. Your mom and his mom taught Catechism together. Breaking off your engagement left you heartbroken and you didn’t want to burden your family with the details. Your dad was recovering from a heart attack. Your mom had her hands full between caring for your father and worrying about her children. And then there was Sonny.  

Working with SVU over the years, you noticed a change in him. He was more quiet and cautious, even becoming a borderline realist—a stark contrast from the goofy, loveable, optimistic, older brother. You saw how Mike Dodd’s death affected him, even though Sonny tried to hide it from you. Then a year later during a night out at the bar, he drunkenly confessed that a perp by the name of Tom Cole had held him at gunpoint while he was trying to save a victim. You saw how his body trembled in fear, the tears in his eyes. Although you begged him to get therapy, he shrugged off your suggestion and told you to drop it. You never spoke of it again. The last thing you wanted to do was give him one more thing to worry about. Your life and all its troubles seemed to pale in comparison to the nightmare he had lived through.

Rafael glanced between you and the man who resembled an Italian Vogue model standing next to Sonny. “Is that who I think it is?” he mumbled. The tiniest nod of your head confirmed his suspicions.

So this was the infamous ex-fiancé. Theo was the very definition of tall, dark, and handsome: chocolate brown eyes, thick shiny mane, and a dazzling smile which Rafael could’ve sworn were caps. Not to mention, he was in your age bracket.

Rafael slumped down in his seat a bit, feeling self conscious. He had always thought he was a decent looking guy. Walking down the courthouse halls with his swagger and sharp suits, he noticed several women and men eyeing him. But compared to Theo, Rafael felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Gina narrowed her eyes. “What is he doin’ here?”

“Yeah,” Bella added. “Shouldn’t he be out getting his dry cleaning?”

“Girls,” Julia scolded although she was just as surprised to see your ex in her dining room.

The last time Theo visited your parents was about two years ago when you both were making a seating chart for your wedding. Then one Sunday you came to the house alone with your eyes red-rimmed and puffy, announcing the engagement was off. You had claimed the reason was because Theo was moving too fast and that you weren’t ready to settle down just yet. But something told Julia Carisi that there was more to the story than what you were letting on, call it a mother’s intuition. Regardless of your mysterious breakup, your mother was not about to be rude to her new guest. She could give Emily Post a lesson in being a good hostess. Getting up from the table, she smiled and pulled Theo into a hug. “Theo, sweetheart. It’s so nice to see you. How’re your parents?”

“Great to see you too, Julia. The folks are fine. I hope it’s ok I’m here.”

“Absolutely. We have plenty of food.” Julia turned towards her husband. “Dom, can you get another chair?” Your father didn’t respond, still in shock over the sudden reappearance of your ex. “Dom!” She clapped her hands to get her husband’s attention.

“Huh,” Dom said, snapping out of his trance. “Oh sure.”

As your father left to get a chair, Sonny smiled and patted Theo on the back. “Let me grab ya’ a plate and some silverware.”

While your parents and brother were busy making your guest comfortable, Theo caught your eye and immediately made a beeline towards you. “Hey stranger.” Before you could even react, he wrapped his arms around you, his one hand pressed into the small of your back. “You look beautiful,” he whispered, his lips grazing your ear. You stood there frozen with your arms at your sides. It took all your strength to quell the wave of nausea rising in your stomach.

In Rafael’s opinion, the hug lasted much longer than what society would deem to be acceptable. His fists slightly trembled. He could feel himself quickly transforming into the ugly green monster within. “Hi,” he said, a little too loudly. “I’m Rafael. Y/N’s boyfriend.”

Finally letting you go, Theo turned towards Rafael and laughed before focusing his attention back on you. “He’s kidding, right?”

You immediately reached for Rafael, finding comfort in his presence by your side. “Actually he’s quite serious. Do you find that amusing?”

Upon learning that you and Rafael were together, Theo’s lips curved into a smirk that left you feeling uneasy. “Well then, I suppose congratulations are in order,” he replied and extended his hand to Rafael. “You’re a lucky man. There’s nobody like Y/N.” He glanced your way with a glint in his eye. “Nobody.”

Dom and Sonny came out of the kitchen with an extra chair and a place setting. “Here ya’ go, pal,” Sonny said. Theo took the chair and placed it right next to yours, reaching across you to grab some of your mother’s lasagna.

He took a bite and moaned. “This is delicious, Julia. I’ve sure missed your cooking.” His foot slyly nudged yours under the table causing you to scooch your chair away.

Being smushed in between your boyfriend and your ex-fiance was some sort of cruel torture. You were seconds away from lunging across the table and punching your brother, but instead you stood up. “Sonny, I need your help getting some wine from the kitchen.”

“Now? But we have wine here.” Sonny motioned to the Amarone on the table.

“Yes, but there’s a nice Chianti in the kitchen and it’s on a shelf that I can’t reach.” You crossed your arms and gave your brother a threatening glare. “Now or I’ll eat your liver with some fava beans. I hear it pairs nicely with a Chianti.” Sonny sighed and followed you into the kitchen.

You gripped the edge of the sink and silently counted to 10 in order to calm yourself before addressing your brother.

“So where’s the Chianti or did ya’ just bring me in here to watch ya’ breath,” Sonny remarked.

You whipped your head around and narrowed your eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Sonny innocently shrugged. “Havin’ lunch with my family.”

“Don’t be cute.” You tugged on your mom’s yellow kitchen gloves and began to furiously scour a greasy pan with a brillo pad, finding some sense of clarity in your angry cleaning. “I can’t believe you invited Theo. How dare you!”

“What’s wrong with that? Theo hasn’t been here in ages.”

“Yes and there’s a reason for it. We broke up or maybe you haven’t gotten that through your thick skull yet.”

Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand ya’, Y/N. First ya’ break off the engagement with Theo cause he’s movin’ way too fast even though you two grew up 6 feet away from each other for 18 years. But one month with Rafael and you’re ready for a colonial, 2.5 kids, and a collie?”

“My personal life is none of your business,” you growled.

Sonny scoffed. “Well actually it is my business since you are fuckin’ someone I work with.”

You dropped the dish you were cleaning with a violent clang, water splashing everywhere and took a few steps toward your brother. “Choose your next words wisely, Dominick Carisi, Jr.”

Sonny shook his head, his appearance akin to disappointment. It was hard for him to separate the woman you had become with the little girl you once were.  If he closed his eyes, he could picture you with your skinned knees and unruly hair coming out of your french braid, demanding piggyback rides from him. And even though that little girl was gone, you were still so young and naive about this world. There was so much you needed to learn.

“What happened to us, Y/N. I mean we used to be so close. I’m your big brother and I’m tryin’ to look out for ya’.” He tentatively put his hand on your shoulders, tilting his head lower to meet your gaze. “I’m doin’ this because I love ya’ and I want what’s best for ya’. I’ve worked with Barba for years. I know him and he’s not a good fit for ya’. You’re going to regret this.”

You fought back the sting of tears and tucked in your quivering bottom lip. You refused to cry in front of Sonny. Although you hated to admit it, his opinion mattered to you. It broke your heart that he didn’t approve of you and Rafael.

Just then the kitchen door swung opened, revealing your boyfriend’s handsome head poking in. “Everything ok in here?” He stepped into the kitchen. “Cause Gina is asking me when we’re gonna make her an aunt and that led to one of your nieces asking where babies come from and your mom is trying to eavesdrop on you both with a glass held up to the wall.”

“Why don’t ya’ mind your own business, Barba,” Sonny sneered. “I’m talkin’ to my sister.”

“Not anymore. We’re leaving.” You rushed past him and ran back out into the dining room, meeting the shocked faces of your family.

“Everything ok?” Julia asked. The shortness of breath in her voice indicated that she had just ran to her seat from her position near the wall.

“I’m sorry. We have to go,” you mumbled and made a mad dash to the foyer to grab yours and Rafael’s coats.

Your parents exchanged a worried glance and immediately followed you.  “Honey, are you sure? What about dessert? I made your favorite cheesecake. Please stay,” Julia pleaded

Your dad leaned forward and spoke softly, “Ya’ know if you’re upset about Sonny bringing that pretty boy punk over for lunch I can kick him out. For that matter, I can kick Rafael out too. Anything for my little patatina.” He grinned and booped you on the nose.

You faked a smile for your father. “That won’t be necessary, Pops.”

Julia smoothed down your hair. “Then sweetheart what’s wrong?”

The words were right there at the tip of your tongue. You wanted more than anything to confess everything then march over to Theo and crush his balls into powder. But one look at your family told you now was not the time, not when you were surrounded by your adorable albeit nosy nieces and nephews and your sisters who thought of family drama as a national sport.

So instead you hemmed and hawed, stammering over your words as you tried to think of a plausible reason for your sudden departure when Rafael spoke up behind you. “Actually it’s my fault,” he lied and wound his arm around you. “I’m so sorry. I got a call from work and I need to run over to the office for a few hours.”

Sonny followed Rafael into the foyer and arched a brow in suspicion, not falling for his excuse. “That’s funny. I never got a call from Liv about a case or anything.”

Rafael turned towards the detective and narrowed his eyes. “Oh don’t worry. I’ll be filling you in on the details later.”

“Well, let me pack up some food for you both. It’s the least I can do.” Julia gently cupped your face and patted Rafael on her way to the kitchen in search of tupperware but you stopped her.

“Some other time, Ma. We really have to go.” You kissed her and your dad and waved goodbye to the rest of your family.

“Thank you for a wonderful meal. It was nice to—” Rafael was unable to finish his farewell as you dragged him out the door.

“What the hell was that all about?” your dad asked Sonny once you had left.

Sonny ignored him and pushed past his parents to run out after you. “Y/N! Wait!”

You stopped in your tracks and turned towards your brother, slapping him hard across the face. Your entire body shook with rage, tears streamed down your cheeks. You felt completely and utterly betrayed by the one person you had relied on your entire life. “Stay out of my life,” you said in a shaky voice before getting in the car with Rafael and driving away.

You only made it one block when you had to pull over, your tears blinding your vision. Slumping over the steering wheel, your forehead connected with the horn causing the most pathetic little beep as you cried even harder. This was not how you intended the day to go. Rafael rubbed your back in soothing circles. “Shhh, it’ll be ok, hermosa. Everything’s going to work out,” he cooed.

“No it won’t,” you wailed and banged your head against the steering wheel several more times.

Rafael winced and tried to pull you away from the beeping horn, not wanting to create yet another scene. “Babe, stop. I don’t want someone from Neighborhood Watch to come out.”

You sat up and sniffled. “I’m so sorry about Theo and lunch.”

“I’ve experienced much worse during lunch. Trust me.” He handed you his handkerchief and ran his fingers through your hair. “Do you want me to drive?”

You loudly blew your nose and hiccupped. “Sure. Can you drive?”

“Of course I can drive. Now let’s trade.” Unbuckling your seatbelt, you got out of the car and swapped places. “Can I drive?” he mumbled, chuckling to himself. Of course he failed to mention that he only learned to drive a few years ago, never really seeing a need for it when he lived in Manhattan, one of the highest rated cities for public transportation. Once you were comfortable, he turned on the ignition and sped down the street, making his way back to the city.

*****

Sonny stood there, stunned, listening to the sound of your car screeching down the street. A laugh coming from the porch signaled his attention. “Ladies and gentlemen of Sycamore Avenue, behold the man who was just bitch slapped by his baby sister!” Bella announced.

Sonny rolled his eyes. “What are ya’ doin’ out here?”

“Ma wanted me to check on ya’.” She sat down on the front step and patted the spot next to her at which he begrudgingly obliged her request. She leaned forward and inspected the right side of his face. “Huh, interesting. I can make out a thumb print.”

“Stop it.” He crossed his arms and scooted away, trying to cover the one side of his face.

Bella shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re an amazing big brother and I’m grateful for all you’ve done, especially with Tommy. But when are ya’ gonna realize Y/N’s not a little girl anymore. She is the most level-headed out of all of us that includes you,” she said with a smirk and playfully nudged him. “She knows what she’s doing and Rafael is an incredible guy. Ya’ have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to not see that he adores her.”

“I just want what’s best for her and that’s not Rafael. You of all people should understand. Ya’ caught a glimpse of the world that Rafael and I live in during Tommy’s trial. I don’t want that for her. I don’t want that for any of ya.” Sonny sighed and rested his elbows on his knees, slouching as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders

“Hey,” Bella softly said, flicking her brother’s ear to get his attention. “I know your job is tough. I mean I can’t imagine the things you face everyday but ya’  gotta stop this. You have to stop living for this job, it’s gonna eat you alive. We’re all worried about ya.”

Sonny scoffed. “I’m fine.”

“Oh yeah? Then tell me when was the last time ya’ went out on a date or ya’ didn’t wake up from a nightmare or ya’ took a vacation. Think about it.” She patted his knee and stood up to leave before turning back one last time. “Just don’t push people out of your life cause otherwise you’ll end up alone.”

Bella had hit the nose right on the head. He hated when she was right. Between law school and work, he hadn’t been living. When he wasn’t working, he was studying or taking a class or screaming in his sleep after having yet another nightmare of Tom Cole holding a gun to his forehead. In truth, there was someone who had caught his eye. Someone he had wanted to ask out from the moment he saw her and yet whenever he made an attempt, something stopped him.

Why couldn’t he just let everything go? Why couldn’t he live anymore? Sonny felt as if he was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to topple over the edge, about to leave everything and everyone he held near and dear to his heart. Sitting there on the porch, he shivered a bit in the early spring air, unsure what felt worse, the sting of your hand across his face or the words you last spoke to him.

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[montyrakusen]

Bad weather in Jaywick

Ray lifts his stick slowly and pokes at the body of a young man asleep under the lee of a boat on the beach. There is no response. Ray is a little unsteady on the wet sand and in the rain and gusts of wind he is finding it hard to walk on his baker’s van accident in Pimlico leg. Joan had always wanted them to retire to Jaywick, she had friends there and it was beside the sea and Ray wasn’t one to argue. He’d only come out on his early morning walk for some Danish bacon and the News of The World and now there was a body. He continued prodding with his stick and the young man sat up suddenly and asked Ray what he wanted. Ray explained that this was no place to sleep especially at this time of year and it was bad weather in Jaywick.

The young man is grateful for Ray’s invitation to drinks at the pub later. He brushes his teeth in the vandalised public toilets and with his little silver camera takes pictures. He walks the deserted streets and photographs the run-down huts with evocative names like ‘Y Worry’, ‘Dun Roamin’, ‘Osocosy’, ‘Rest Awhile’, and ‘Denise n Babs’. Between the rainstorms, when there’s a glimmer of light, he takes photographs and then shelters under the awnings of closed seaside shops when it’s wet, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his old army jacket, the rough horse-hair lining pricking his hands. He has tea in a cafe, all red plastic and wood, the windows steamed over. There is no one else. Joan watches him from a crack in the lace curtains and in her living room her china animals stay silent. Ray goes to buy bread and Brillo pads and he watches the young man down the road from afar. The wind picks up and the rain comes down and it’s bad weather in Jaywick.

The young man can hear the noise even before he has entered the ‘Never Say Die’ public house but as the doors close behind him there is silence. The bar is full of elderly men watching him, mostly smoking, playing dominoes, sitting on crimson velour chairs around tables full of ashtrays. It’s very smoky blue and it stings the young man’s eyes. Ray hobbles over and greets him with foaming beer. The old men gather round and ask the young man questions, leaning closer to hear him better. They buy him beer, he buys them beer. Time passes and then it is dark. The young man worries about sleeping out there in the beach wind and cold under the boat but soon he is invited to stay at Ray and Joan’s home. The two men bend into the wind and rain, in the darkness, the sodium lights glow orange reflecting on the wet ground in the beer light and the bad weather in Jaywick.

Joan, wearing her pink Terylene house coat and purple chiffon scarf greets them as they crowd into the comfortably small hut. They sit on the sofa in front of the orangey fiery fire effect fire and Ray kindly demands bacon sandwiches. Joan toasts Sunblest bread and fries up bacon in a bit of lard. She brings them bottles of Bass beer and they smoke and joke. Ray smokes Players No6 and the young man still has half a pack of St Michel which he bought just across the choppy channel in Belgium. The little party, warm and cosy-cosy in the hut, rises in noise and drunken friendliness until they run out of things to say. The room is full of souvenirs and bric-à-brac which looks on silently. Ray is working himself up to asking something. The beer and pleasant conversation has given him courage and when Joan is out of the room he leans close to the young man. His breath smelling of fags and beer is hot in the young man’s ear and his speech is slightly slurred. Ray asks if he could do him a favour of a personal nature, he’s having a bit of trouble, you know, in the bed department with Joan and could the young man do it for him? Joan returns to the room and starts to wash the dishes, her back to them, unaware, humming. The young man gazes towards her. The bric-à-brac looks on silently. The young man doesn’t want to offend anyone and politely refuses. After a few moments Ray is not offended in any way, standing, smiling he jumps up, snapping his braces and patting Joan’s pink Terylene behind he exclaims defiantly that, well then, he’d just have to do it himself. The young man is relieved, and thinking of the dark beach, makes his bed on the sofa. He looks out of the window at the dancing stormy branches and the rain drops streaking the glass because it’s bad weather in Jaywick.

The young man lies on the uncomfy uncomfortable sofa in the semi-darkness, he’s not very tired. Soon he can hear a rhythmical banging against the wall next to the sofa. In the gloom he sees the pictures on the wall moving and then on the shelf the bric-à-brac begins to dance around to the vibration. The trees form jumping shadows on the wall in orange and the wind whoops and roars. Then there’s the sound of dustbin lids and small dogs barking in the distance. The rain rattles the windows and it’s bad weather in Jaywick.

Later, in the orange glow the bric-à-brac is now still. The young man watches them with interest. On the shelf above the radiogram are a large collection of souvenirs and amongst them are: a model seal made of real seal fur, a goldfish held forever in a block of perspex, a red and blue glass Murano style Bambi frozen in a Bambi pose, a black china Manx cat from the Isle of Man, just one china 101 Dalmatians dalmatian, a shiny Jersey cow from Jersey, a china spaniel, an Amari tea cup, a bowls trophy and a dog completely made from Woodbine packets. They talk happily to each other, quiet at first then louder, about the days of summer, blue on blue skies, sunshine, seagulls, fish and chips, the smell of vinegar, visitors. The young man smiles and agrees, closes his eyes, dreams of better days while outside it’s bad weather in Jaywick.

Ray coughs, takes his tablets at the kitchen sink and puts the kettle on. Soon it starts to sing and then there’s the clink of teaspoons and the pouring. He takes a cup to Joan. He takes a cup to the young man who cradles it in his hands to warm them. Ray wonders if the weather will be any better today and the steam rises from the brew. The young man packs his things into an old rucksack and explains it’s time to leave. Ray says kind and happy words, there is some back slapping. The young man steps out into the rain, he doesn’t look back and walks down the street to the sea wall. Ray stands at the door watching as the hunched figure becomes more and more distant, Joan pulls back the net curtains and watches as he walks away. The young man walks south towards the estuary and Brightlingsea, he passes ‘Las Vegas’, ‘Club Morocco’ and the Martello tower, striding out onto the wild lands. The clouds part and the sun beams down on him warming his soul, the skylarks rise up and chatter above his head. He feels happy and purposeful in the sun. He turns to look back at the town and there the clouded horizon is still dark and black blue with rain and it’s bad weather in Jaywick.

Some time later and far to the north another young man is hitch hiking along the A133. He’s been waiting a while and he’s come a long way but now an old white delivery van is slowing down to pick him up. The driver is a big burly bloke delivering bacon from Colchester and asks the young man, where he is going. The cab is cluttered full of paper work and sweet wrappers, thermos flasks, Playboy magazines and a bunch of plastic flowers. The radio is tuned to BBC Radio One but it’s too noisy to hear it. The young man replies that he’s going to Jaywick. After a while in the noisy cab, travelling east towards the sea, the burly bloke shouts over the roar that he’d better wrap up warm because it looks like it’s bad weather in Jaywick.

The End

Editing: John Coombes, Georgia Rakusen

See the second set of images: https://montyrakusen.tumblr.com/post/622628454211485696/bad-weather-in-jaywick-part-2-in-progress