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theimprobabledreamersworld · 2 years ago

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Happy Birthday Patton!

A nice little Moceit one shot I speed wrote for Patton’s birthday! :D

Inspired a little by Law and Order SVU, no warnings just a little hurt/comfort :)

I'm starting from scratch with a writing taglist, if you would like to be added, let me know!

Happy Birthday Patton.

Word count: 1,031

Platonic/Pre-romantic/Romantic Moceit- whatever you would like to see it as :)

Janus sat on the sofa staring at the floor, deep in thought about how much of a rollercoaster life had become recently. He had made himself well and truly known to the others, the drama wasn’t usually his forte, but he wanted to make sure his entrance was spectacular. He had torn everything apart, he had pieced one tiny section back together, it was a tiring existence for him recently. Despite the turmoil he had caused, there was one constant light in his life.

Patton.

As much as it sca- pained him to admit it, Janus and Patton had been growing closer recently, despite Janus’ adamant sarcasm in the latest video calling Patton ‘his bestie’. He actually found himself becoming fond on Patton’s company. He found himself baking cookies with Patton, reading classic novels to him when neither of them could sleep, watching Disney movie after movie with no complaints; just acceptance. Even the quiet moments were acceptable, just sitting in a comfortable silence without the chill in the air coming from the others. Janus noticed that his sarcasm was beginning to rub off on Patton ever so slightly. He smiled fondly as he remembered an exchange from the other day.

“What will you be doing when we’re 85?”

“Squabbling with you.”

“Now wouldn’t that be nice?”

They were both lonely, craving the company of someone who didn’t look at them with indifference or anger, so it was only natural that they would grow closer. That wasn’t such a bad thing after all, at least not in Janus’ mind.

“Hey, you!” Janus jumped when the cheery voice appeared out of nowhere, followed by someone collapsing onto the sofa next to him. It took all of two seconds for him to recognise that cat hoodie he lov- despised so much.

“If you’re trying to give me a heart attack, you’re going the right way about it!” He retorted, his tone dripping with sarcasm as Patton giggled, playfully hitting his shoulder.

“Oh c’mon, you know you love me!” Patton teased making Janus roll his eyes. If only he knew…

The comfortable silence filled the space until Janus glanced over and noticed Patton looking at him with nothing but worry in his eyes. Could he really make the choice to step back? Step back from Patton?

“Hey. What’s going on in that mind of yours?” He heard Patton try to mask the concern in his voice as he felt as hand rest on his arm. Janus sighed and rested his gloved hand on top of Patton’s.

“Oh you know, just thinking about how I could ruin the next thing we have to face.” Janus bitterly answered, the realisation hit Patton like a freight train and he forced Janus’ chin up to look him in the eyes.

“Talk to me. Please?” Patton pleaded quietly, the tone of voice that Janus just couldn’t say no to. He sighed and began to open up to the one person he knew wouldn’t judge him… because they needed each other.

How could he broach this in a way that wouldn’t hurt Patton? He had already done that before, and it was something he swore he would never do again. The one time he caused Patton to spiral was the worst experience of his life, and one he was still regretting to this day.

"You know, when we started spending more time together, what five months a-"

"Six, actually." Patton interrupted with a smirk. Janus let out a chuckle as he removed the gloves from his hands. His mask being removed and letting the vulnerability show.

"Always have to have the final say, don’t you?” Patton shrugged and Janus bit the bullet, continuing like he was saying. “Before we met... The world was an old movie, it was all black and white. Then you, you started to meddle your way into my world and the black and white became different shades of grey. Before I knew it... There were blues... and greens and yellows and reds...”

He couldn’t help but smile when he listed the colours, as he watched the concern from Patton’s face melt away into fondness and happiness, especially when blue was mentioned first. Despite his reputation of lying, every word was true. He had been caught in a monochrome world until Patton showed him colours, how the world isn’t set in its ways. He could be happy with Patton, even when the rest of them told him he was just shifty and untrustworthy.

“You... opened my heart, Patton... And I thank you for it..." Janus felt tears sting the corners of his eyes as he saw the concern flood Patton’s face again.

"And?"

"I- I have to step back, before anyone else gets hurt." He heard Patton gasp and turned his face away.

“No. No! Don’t you dare!” Patton’s voice echoed off the walls. Janus raised an eyebrow in confusion, why was it such a big deal?

“You can’t… you can’t step back. I absolutely won’t let you! I need you, Jan. And I have to go LilyPadton mode to make you understand that, then so help me-” Janus smiled fondly at the nickname and gently put a finger in Patton’s lips to stop him from talking, then rubbed his cheek softly with his thumb.

“Alright. I’ll stay, but only for you.”

The comfortable silence fell between them once again and then the clock beeped indicating midnight. Janus suddenly realised what day it was.

“Oh! Before anything else…” He quickly got off the sofa and ran to his room, grabbing a small blue bag with a gold bow around it. Janus came back to see Patton looking confused, so he handed over the bag.

“Wow, you’re early! Thank you, Jan!” Patton gasped excitedly as he took the gift and peeked inside. Janus chuckled as he loaded up ‘Tangled’ on the DVD player, he knew that neither of them would getting sleep anytime soon. He sat down next to Patton again and let him cuddle up while the opening credits rolled.

“I just wanted to be first… Happy Birthday Patton.”

#happy birthday patton #sanders sides #ts patton #ts janus #patton sanders #janus sanders #moceit #platonic moceit #pre romantic moceit #romantic moceit #ts fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction

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part-time-zombie · 4 months ago

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Lie With Me

pairings: moceit (platonic, could be read as romantic if you want)

summary: Janus secretly enjoys being a part of things, even if the others don't like him. Fortunately, Janus is good at being someone else and Patton is easy to fool. At least, it seems that way...

tags/warnings: mild hurt/comfort, impersonation, Janus literally looks like Virgil for this whole fic, deception and lying, ambiguous/open ending

word count: 3727

Janus stood in front of the mirror, studying his reflection. He twisted his face into a disapproving grimace, and it was Virgil’s face scowling back at him. He slouched, shoulders drooping forward, and Virgil did too. Janus practiced fidgeting with one of the drawstrings on Virgil’s hoodie and was pleased with how natural the act looked when it was reflected back to him. Even after their time apart, he still got the look right.

Virgil really was the easiest of the sides for him to impersonate. He had already fumbled Logan and Patton before, and the others surely knew how to spot any signs if Janus tried either of them again. He hadn’t really practiced being Roman that much, and he wasn’t about to risk messing it up and getting caught right out of the gate. While he knew Remus’ behavior far more thoroughly than he would like, he also wouldn’t exactly want to keep up that personality for too long. Besides, Remus arguably caused more trouble than Janus anyway, so impersonating him would be far from helpful.

It was easy for Janus to blend in as Virgil. He avoided the spotlight at much as he could, so Janus wouldn’t be subjected to too much scrutiny while acting as him. On the off chance that he was caught or questioned, he still knew how to pull off a convincing enough reaction as Virgil to redirect and dispel any suspicion.

As easy (and dare he say fun) as it was to imitate another side, Janus still wished he didn’t have to all the time. He could tell they were all growing as a group, albeit slowly, but it still wasn’t enough for him to feel comfortable with being an official part of things. Roman and Virgil would surely try to kill him if either of them got a chance, and Logan remained coldly indifferent to him. Not that he blamed any of them, really. They had every right to be a little upset, just as he had a right to keep his guard up until things calmed down. If they ever calmed down.

Still, he had caught a taste of involvement when he was replacing Patton and Logan, and that brief experience only left him looking for ways to get more of it. It’s not like he liked the other sides, because of course he didn’t, they were all loud and dramatic and arrogant while they hypocritically insisted on blaming him for being the same. It was just the act of being included, of getting a chance to join the others in their own lives and pretend it was also a part of his own, that he found himself aching for lately.

Patton was downstairs, busying himself in the kitchen with something. He was alone, and Janus felt relieved that he wouldn’t have to work overtime to fool two sides at once and risk getting found out. It’s not like it was tough to be Virgil, but Logan was too clever for his own good and would expose him in a heartbeat. Roman may be more gullible, but he was also far less forgiving, and if he found out that he was actually flirting with Deceit instead of Virgil all hell would break loose. That was why Janus made it a habit to only really disguise himself like this when he knew Patton would be on his own, as he had yet to figure out exactly who he had been hanging out with this whole time. Patton really was the safest bet, anyway. He would believe almost anything if it was presented confidently enough, and he hadn’t even questioned “Virgil” spending time with him at all so far. He was just so easy to fool, trusting to the point of naïveté.

He knew he was bound to be fully accepted eventually, but Janus was too impatient to wait. Now, as he settled into his Virgil disguise and prepared to infiltrate the common room once more, he let himself feel satisfied enough with this manufactured substitute.

Janus made his way to the kitchen, keeping his posture uncomfortably hunched like Virgil did. How exactly he could hold himself like this all day without complaining of back pain, Janus didn’t know.

Patton saw him and gave him a bright smile, closing a Tupperware container with a soft click.

“Hey there, kiddo! How’s it going?” he asked, smile never leaving his face.

Janus shrugged and made a noncommittal noise, keeping his face down and free of smiles. “What’re you doing?” he grumbled, voice perfectly tuned to match Virgil’s.

“Oh, I’m just boxing up some leftovers,” he replied. “I guess I made too much food again.”

Janus eyed the portions hesitantly. There was still enough food out to feed four or five people, if they all showed up to actually eat it, that is.

“I guess no one felt like showing up for lunch today,” Patton added, as if he were guessing what Janus had been thinking. “It’s alright, though. It’ll still be here for everyone tomorrow.” Patton smiled again, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes all the way.

“Yeah, I guess I kinda overslept again, sorry,” Janus mumbled, running a hand through his hair like Virgil would when he was feeling awkward and ignoring the absence of his hat. “I was actually just coming downstairs to get some food, if that’s not a problem.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem at all, sweetie,” Patton beamed, already grabbing a plate for him. “I was just about to put away the pasta, but it’s still a little warm. You can have some if you want.”

Janus hummed and gave Patton a nod before grabbing the plate and serving himself a helping of now tepid pasta. He leaned against the counter as he ate, ignoring the happy look on Patton’s face and focusing instead on maintaining his façade.

Patton switched tasks for a moment to start working on the dishes, and Janus took the chance to internally relax a little bit while his back was turned. Still no sign of him knowing, both impressive for Janus and pitiful for Patton. How much longer would this routine continue? What would Patton think when he found out he had been tricked this whole time? It surely wouldn’t go very well for Janus. He had just started to get Thomas to trust him, even if only by a little bit, and for him to be caught deceiving another side yet again would only lead to trouble. Still, if Patton was going to keep falling for it, what was the harm in keeping up the charade just a little longer?

“How’s the pasta?” Patton asked, voice slightly raised so he’d be heard over the noise in the sink.

“Not bad,” Janus replied, then, just for good measure, “A little cold, though.” Virgil wouldn’t be too overtly positive or grateful, especially not for something as simple as food.

In all honesty, the food was excellent. Despite it having lost most of its heat by now, it was still very flavorful. Janus wasn’t really welcomed to a lot of family dinners so he didn’t have a reference for how Patton’s cooking normally tastes, but even these cold and simplistic leftovers were better than most meals Janus made for himself. This must be what people mean when they say things like “comfort foods” and “made with love”, phrases Janus had long thought were hyperbolic.

“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to,” Patton said, offering a hand to take the plate away.

Janus held the plate closer to himself. “No, it’s fine,” he mumbled.

Patton shrugged and gave him a smile before resuming his work on the dishes. “Well, when you’re finished, just put the rest in the fridge and I’ll take care of the plate,” he replied.

Janus muttered a half-hearted ’kay as he took another bite of food, refraining himself from enjoying it too much. For Virgil, food from Patton is nothing special.

Patton finished cleaning the last of the dishes just as Janus had cleared his plate, silently offering it to him before putting away the rest of the leftovers as instructed.

“So was there anything you were planning on doing today, kiddo?” Patton asked, quickly cleaning the plate and putting it with the others.

Janus shrugged, taking his time with closing the fridge door to ensure his face looked as impassive as it ought to be when he faced Patton. “Dunno, I was probably just gonna go back to my room.”

No sense in drawing this out for too long, he can’t risk slipping up.

“Well, if you’ve got nothing planned, we could hang out down here, just the two of us.” Patton offered, looking heartbreakingly hopeful. “There isn’t really much I was gonna do today either, but we could at least do nothing together, if you want.”

Janus wanted to say no. Well, he needed to say no before he got too carried away and accidentally revealed himself, but seeing Patton make that pleading puppy-dog face of his tugged as something in his chest that he really didn’t want to look too much into.

“I mean, I guess so. Why not?” he sighed, fighting to keep his expression slack as another contagious smile lit up on Patton’s face.

“Aw, thanks Virge!” he cheered, quickly trapping him in a tight hug.

Janus certainly wasn’t prepared for this. How does Virgil respond to hugs from Patton? Does he squirm away from it, does he hiss, does he just freeze up like Janus is doing right now because Patton is actually hugging him? He tried to think of an appropriate reaction, but it was hard to concentrate past the all-enveloping warmth and safety he was feeling in that moment.

As quickly as it had happened, it was over. Patton tensed minutely when he realized “Virgil” wasn’t hugging him back and quickly let him go.

“Sorry, kiddo, I didn’t mean to spook ya like that,” Patton said, eyes drifting to the floor as he awkwardly picked at one of his nails. Another trait Janus needs to remember to use as him.

“It’s uh,” Janus cleared his throat, returning to Virgil’s standard gruff tone. “It’s alright.”

At least now the tension in his shoulders wasn’t performative. Did he mess that up? Virgil didn’t usually go for hugs all that much, so he would likely tense up like Janus just did, but was that right? What if he and Patton were standard cuddle-buddies by this point, and Janus just gave himself away by not hugging him back? It’s unlikely, but things had changed since Virgil left.

“I still shouldn’t have just hugged you out of nowhere, though,” Patton replied. “I know you don’t really like to be just touched out of nowhere, so I’m sorry.”

Well, it looks like Janus wasn’t too far off base. “It’s fine, really. I just didn’t see it coming,” he muttered, pulling the hoodie tighter around himself like Virgil does when he’s uncomfortable.

“If you just want me to leave you alone now, I get it,” Patton offered.

Janus really ought to take this as an easy out. He already risked getting caught once, he should call it here before he slips up in a way that’s even harder to talk around, but…

“I didn’t say that,” Janus replied, walking over to the couch and making himself comfortable.

Patton stared at him from his spot in the kitchen with an expression Janus really hoped wasn’t suspicion, before joining him in the living room with a fair distance between them on the couch. He put on a cartoon to watch that Janus mostly tuned out, idly staring at his phone instead.

The next few hours passed by rather calmly, with no one else coming downstairs to interrupt them. Not that Janus minded, really it was quite the opposite. Without anyone else to perform for as well as Patton, acting as Virgil became monumentally easier. All he had to do was sit here curled up on the couch and look bored as he stared at his phone, humming vague responses if Patton said anything. The thing is, how normal is it for no one else to be in the living room at this hour? Surely someone would have shown up eventually, if not to stay and chat then at the very least to grab a bite to eat. Does Patton just spend his days waiting for someone to leave their room and talk to him, or even just be in the same room as him for more than five minutes? How long has it been since Patton had a conversation with any of the other sides that wasn’t just Janus pretending to be Virgil, joining in on family activities that likely haven’t happened in a while?

As if irony and fate had conspired together, the steady footsteps of another side made its way downstairs. Patton perked up as the sound and Janus looked over his shoulder just in time to catch Logan moving from the landing to the kitchen, likely gathering a few snacks for himself before returning to whatever had kept him occupied all day.

“Hiya Logan! Working late again?” Patton called out to him from his spot on the couch.

“You may as well call it that,” Logan replied, not even turning to face him. “I doubt it’ll get finished though, very little is anymore.”

He started heading back to the stairs, a collection of food in hand, only to come to an abrupt stop as he became aware of “Virgil” watching him from the couch.

“Virgil, I hadn’t noticed you there,” he said, eyebrows furrowing. “I also didn’t see you head downstairs.”

Janus shrugged, not sure how to best respond.

“He just came down here for a snack,” Patton explained, a casual but still bright smile on his face. “We’ve been hanging out for a little while, too. You should take a break and join us.”

“I really shouldn’t, I still have work to get done.”

Janus tried not to sigh in relief.

“How long has it been since you came down here, though?” Logan asked, now looking at Janus.

Janus was about to answer, though he wasn’t sure how to, only for Patton to beat him to the punch.

“Not too long, just a little bit before you.”

Well, that was a lie. They had been sitting on this couch for the better part of two or three hours, and that’s excluding the time spent in the kitchen. Patton knew that, surely he did.

“Right, and have you seen Roman around?”

Janus and Patton shook their heads.

Logan hummed thoughtfully “He must still be in his room then. I’ll try to send him down to get something to eat, though I’m surprised you listened to me when I asked you to do so, Virgil.”

So Logan had been talking to Virgil today already, and presumably very recently. This was bad. If he went back upstairs and saw Virgil still there, Janus was beyond screwed. It’s not like he had a reason to do that, though. As far as he’s concerned, Virgil is down here, not in his room. Janus could only hope they didn’t run into each other upstairs or something.

“Yeah, I got pretty hungry,” Janus replied, keeping his tone apathetic. “And maybe a little bored.”

“Well, either way, it’s good to see you finally getting out of your room,” Logan said, his suspicion seemingly sated. “Perhaps soon Roman will do the same.”

“Oh, I hope so,” Patton whined. “I really miss having him around.”

“With luck you’ll be seeing him in a minute,” Logan offered, already walking back upstairs.

Janus tried not to sigh in relief as he collapsed back against the couch. Looks like he managed to pull it off after all-

“You’re getting real good at that, Janus.”

Janus nearly dropped his phone in shock, head jerking back up. Patton was staring at him with a soft but knowing smile.

Shit, shit, shit, try to recover.

Janus fidgeted in his seat, keeping his voice low. “Uh, what? What are you talking about?”

Patton’s certainty never wavered in his grin. “You can stop pretending, y’know. I know it’s you.”

Busted.

“What gave it away?” he sighed, posture and tone returning to their familiar state.

Patton let out a sigh of his own and leaned back against the couch, his smile fading. “Even if I’m not his friend anymore, I still know Virgil enough to tell when I’m talking to him.”

“How long ago did you figure it out?”

“I’ve known from the start,” Patton nervously stated. Janus was sure his heart had stopped beating.

“And you didn’t say anything the whole time? You just let me keep impersonating him?” Janus asked, voice raising with disbelief. “Why?”

“Because then you’d stop!” Patton exclaimed, a hand flying to his mouth in shock when he realized what he’d just said.

Janus stared at him, confusion and surprise giving way to something else. Something closer to apprehension. “What do you mean?”

Patton shook his head, hand still clamped firmly over his mouth.

Janus leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. “Patton, tell me what you mean by that or I’ll tell Remus to haunt you for the rest of the month.”

Patton removed his hand with a startled squeak Janus would have found amusing in any other situation. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes like he does when he wants to escape an uncomfortable conversation, a habit Janus noticed after the wedding.

“It’s just that… I haven’t seen Roman or Virgil in so long and… “ he started, hands anxiously twisting the sleeves of his cat hoodie. “And I just wanted to hang out with them like before, so I figured that even if it wasn’t really Virgil, I could at least pretend for a little while until the real Virgil wasn’t angry at me anymore. It sounded like a good idea at the time, and I figured you were disguising yourself for a reason so I may as well go along with it and… “ Patton let out another sigh. “I don’t know.”

Janus took this information in as best as he could. “So, you knew it was just me pretending. You knew it wasn’t really Virgil and you didn’t care? What, all because he won’t talk to you now?”

Patton raised his head to look at him, shame and guilt swirling together in his eyes. “I mean… yeah, basically. I know it’s wrong, but I just missed him so much and you acted just like him, so it was kinda easy to convince myself it really was Virgil for a little while.”

Janus leaned back against the couch, running a hand over his face and faltering for a moment at the lack of scales, almost having forgotten that he still looked like Virgil.

So, Patton let himself be lied to. He knew it was false, and it was better than the truth. The truth, of course, was that Virgil still wouldn’t talk to him, and neither will Roman. The truth was that this lie really was the next best thing for Patton.

Janus was going to be in desperate need of a proper drink after this.

“So, where do we go from here?” Janus asked, turning to face Patton again. “What do we do now?”

Patton looked lost, almost as lost as he was after his froggy breakdown. “I really don’t know,” he muttered, glancing down at his hands in his lap. “I don’t know much of anything anymore.”

Affection never came easily to Janus, not naturally, at least. He could manufacture or replicate it as someone else, but he wasn’t the best at actually expressing true warmth. However, seeing Patton so crushed and hopeless and utterly alone like this made him want to try, for whatever reason.

“In all honesty, I had similar motives myself,” Janus admitted with a sigh. Patton looked up at him in surprise as he continued. “Remus has his own way of being friendly, but it’s something you can get tired of quickly. Anytime I disguised myself as one of you, it was a far nicer environment, even if the experience usually involved complex moral and ethical debates.

“The point is, I find I quite enjoy being a part of things around here, but I’m all too aware of my current social standing and its limitations. If I want a movie night or a family dinner, it can’t be as myself. I figured it would be easier to get that from you, and it was easier to ask as Virgil.”

Patton slowly nodded. “You do seem to know him awfully well.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Janus replied with a chuckle. “But that’s neither here nor there. I’m only telling you this because the way I see it we have two options moving forward: we pretend it never happened, or we pretend this never happened.”

Patton quirked his head to the side, looking like a confused puppy. “Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Not really. I’m saying that we can either a: move on and put this whole ordeal behind us, never to speak of it again, or b: we let this wretched performance continue to play out as if neither of us had ever dropped the act in the first place. I’ll leave it up to you as to how this plays out.”

Patton furrowed his brows and looked away for a moment, running the options over in his head while Janus patiently waited for his decision. The silence carried on uncomfortably between them for what felt like forever before he finally spoke.

“Well, in that case… “ Patton started, turning to face Janus again with a slightly forced smile. “Is it alright if I asked for another hug, Virgil?”

Janus let out a low breath, shoulders hunching forward. “Yeah, sure thing, bud,” he replied, tone and half-smile perfectly matching Virgil’s.

Patton moved closer to him on the couch and pulled him into another one of those wonderfully soothing hugs that Janus had yet to get used to, but this time he hugged Patton back. As the two sat there, holding each other on the couch, Janus concluded that maybe Patton figured out the benefits of little white lies all on his own.

taglist:

@keitaisghost @rougeside4 @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nico-the-overlord @britt-ish123 @yuckypuppie @can-i-take-a-stab @new-zee-land

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #ts sides #ts janus #ts patton #my fics #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction

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