#platonic!alastor

[cryptidghostgirl]

Lets say that Alastor and cat-demon! Reader are friends, both of them are staying at the hotel. Alastor gives them catnip just to mess with them.

A/N I love this mischief. Also, I am 100% basing the character off of Catra from Nate Stevenson's She-Ra remake.

Prepare for Battle (Platonic!Alastor x Platonic!Cat Demon!Reader)

Pairing: Platonic Alastor x Platonic Reader

Warnings: None but please correct me if I am wrong.

Word Count: 1,276 (Sorry it is on the shorter side, most of my fics recently have been super super long and I needed to do something different.)

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List

Y/n had showed up around the same time as Alastor did to the hotel. She was a cat demon, like Husk, only much more humanoid. The only real traits she had to show for it were the claws, tail, ears, and, of course, the wild mess of her hair.

Much to everyone's surprise, Alastor had greeted her upon her arrival with a genuine smile, even a hug. A warm welcome by anyone's standards, not just the frigid Radio Demon's. According to Husk, the two had been friends for longer than he'd known either party, possibly even when they were alive although neither spoke much of their pasts. She was never involved in his work as an overlord, but she was always there, according to him. Y/n lurked, waiting, watching for the opportune moment. A mischief maker were the exact words Husk had used.

Y/n and Alastor balanced one another out. Where she was practically feral, he was calm and composed. When he lost his cool, she kept an even temper. When the pranks had started, they had taken everyone by surprise, even with Husk's vague warning. She had just seemed so together in an odd way, so imposing. Not in the way Alastor was but she still held her own. No one expected this sort of juvenile behavior from either of them but once it started, there was no stopping it.

The first one had occurred just a few days after the cat demon's arrival. It had been small, nothing too crazy. Alastor's microphone had simply been replaced with a bright red and white striped candy cane when he had left it leaning against the fireplace to go handle something for Charlie. It wasn't often he left the device unguarded but, he was only a few steps away from it and had figured there was no reason to worry when all the hotel's inhabitants were people trying to be redeemed.

Y/n had watched giddily from the couch, her legs crossed and sporting a failed attempt at a poker face, as Alastor had picked it up again. It had taken him a second to realize the switch had occurred and when he did, his eyes went wide. Y/n had burst out into laughter.

"Here we go again." Husk had sighed, shaking his head slightly.

Thats when the inhabitants of the Hazbin Hotel learned two things. One was that Y/n was not in fact a guest in the sense that she was trying to check out of Hell and into Heaven but rather a guest in that she was there to visit Alastor. The second was that the two had been engaged in a war of practical jokes for the past several decades at least.

From that point forward, the game was on. Each prank became more and more destructive, more and more insane. They took turns with it too, a highly civilized format for an extraordinarily childish pursuit.

Y/n brought out a different side of Alastor, one they had never seen before. It was a youthful side, a side of non-threatening laughter and genuine smiles. While unnerving in some ways, it made them all a bit more at ease with the notorious Radio Demon, to know he had friends and a bit of a soft side beneath his persona.

After the microphone switch, Alastor had tricked Y/n into sitting on a stool beneath a bucket of water. When he had dumped it on her, he had not only made a mess for Nifty to clean up but caused the cat demon to shoot up into the air, hissing loudly. Y/n had gotten him back by changing the locks on the door to his recording studio and used some of her own special brand of magic to block him from teleporting within. The result of this was a very irritated Alastor who broke a fresh hole through the wall. Y/n had been forced by Charlie and Vaggie to be the one to fix it, it was her fault after all, but she insisted it was worth it.

Next had been the vacuum cleaner. The fucking vacuum cleaner. Charlie had had to repaper a whole wall to get the claw-marks to go away after Alastor had used the machine to chase Y/n up it. For her revenge, Y/n had been crafty. She had rounded up a group of several demons she knew had it out for her dear friend and set them on the hotel.

Vaggie had tried her best to kick the cat demoness out after that one but, Alastor had, surprisingly, stepped in. He had fixed the wall with a snap of his fingers and they had both promised to tone down their competition, but never to stop it entirely.

It was Alastor's turn now and as he approached Y/n with a cup of tea, everyone knew something was bound to happen. It was out of character for the man after all, the random act of kindness. She was cuddled up in a sunspot on the couch, reading. So engrossed in her book, she barley looked up at him as she took the cup from his hand with a muttered word of thanks.

Alastor had retreated to the bar beside Angel and Husk with a satisfied expression on his face.

"What did you do now?" Angel asked as he watched Y/n take a sip from the cup.

"Just you wait." Alastor hummed in response.

Five minutes was all it took for the cup to be empty and suddenly, Y/n was on the floor. She reveled in the sunlight, her book now forgotten on the couch as she rolled around.

"What the fuck?" Angel laughed, turning to Alastor, "What the fuck did you give her?"

"Cat nip?" Husk asked, his eyebrows raised, "Really? I mean, that's low. Even for you."

Alastor shrugged.

"Charlie and Vaggie made us promise to tone it down."

Angel shifted his gaze back to Y/n who was wide eyed, staring up at the ceiling intently. The sun reflecting off Angel's glass as he raised it to his lips shot across the ceiling over her head and she immediately rolled over onto all fours, her tail flicking back and forth.

"She's certainly 'toned down.'" Angel noted, laughing once again at Y/n's antics as she tried to grasp the spot of light.

"She's gonna kill you." Husk scoffed, shaking his head slightly.

Angel moved his glass again and Y/n shot forward, clasping her hands around the spot of light once more. It was ten more minutes of the guys laughing and Angel fucking with Y/n using the glass to reflect light before she finally came back her senses.

She sat up from where she had lain on the floor moment's ago, a hand to her head.

"Jesus." she grumbled, "Why... how'd I get down here?"

"Three." Husk said, crossing his arms.

Y/n took her hand from her forehead, looking around the floor of the lobby curiously. Her gaze shifted to the sofa. Her book, the empty cup.

"Two."

Y/n turned to face Alastor, her eyes narrowed.

"One."

"You fucking drugged me you dickwad!" Y/n exclaimed as she pulled herself to her feet, "Catnip? Really? That's low even for you."

"Your turn." Alastor hummed placidly in return, seemingly undisturbed by her anger at the situation.

"I..." Y/n trailed off.

With another look thrown over her shoulder at the empty mug, she marched up to him. Determination glinted in her eyes, Y/n smiled, her teeth bared.

"You are so fucking in for it now."

[az-roser]

Slang Education Day

Imagining Alastor and his Great Depression ass trying to comprehend internet terms is hilarious to me.

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3}

I used the LITERAL list that Amir Talai posted on his Insta of ACTUAL terms he had to Google bc of the HH fandom 😂😭. (but same bc I also didn’t know what half these terms meant 🫠)

That man is so unhinged he truly is Alastor irl

[greykolla-art]

Alastor: “Now, let’s talk about literally anything else please!”

Me: “Good! Cause I don’t know where you went so I can’t go further with this!😂”

[nouverx]

*proceeds to drink the whole bottle*

Yeah Alastor you're gonna be loved and appreciated wether you want it or not :)

[cosqf]

the besties all dressed up ✨

dialogue from this wonderful fanfic, definitively check it out!

[bestosunglass]

FINALLY DECIDED TO USE THIS SITE AGAIN‼️‼️‼️ anyways I will post all my hh content here kkkkk

[atinymexicanbird]

Chapter 37 of Ruination of Lucifer by @syaunei had me hollering with these two.

[Click for better quality]

[roz-ani]

Making Alastor and Rosie friends in canon and then having them pose like that was such a power move

[ranma0]

Notes from a concerned medical professional who reads too much hurt/comfort:

(These are all things I've seen in Hazbin/Helluva fanfics)

(Tw: for injury, illness, gore, drug use, overdose, a lot of other things)

You cannot drug someone to sleep by overdosing them on melatonin. It will not work

Don't submerge an open wound or stitches in a bathtub/pool/etc it will introduce bacteria to the wound (taking a shower is usually fine, just skip the romantic bath)

On that note, stitches do not immediately stop a wound from bleeding and should not be used to solve every problem (never give yourself stitches unless you have absolutely no other choice they can trap infection inside the body when done incorrectly)

And, if the wound is extremely deep, a person may need several layers of stitches to piece together the skin, muscle, and viscera

You absolutely cannot get high on tylenol or ibuprofen even if you mix it with alcohol.

If you do mix tylenol or ibuprofen with alcohol it can cause internal bleeding/kidney damage/liver failure, so please don't do that

If someone is shivering from a high fever, don't cover them in blankets it will raise their body temperature even more (please try correctly dosed tylenol or ibuprofen for this)

Don't submerge someone with a high fever in ice water, they might go into shock (they also might panic and hurt themselves) in a pinch lukewarm water will do

Don't put ice on burns, run them under lukewarm or cool water instead

If someone overdoses on an opoid (heroin, morphine, various pain medications), there is a medicine called nalaxone (Narcan) that can reverse the effects of opioids (edit: thank you to @queerlybehooved)

If someone is bleeding profusely, don't just hold their head and whisper sweet nothings, put pressure on the wound!!!

If a bullet remains in a person’s body after being shot it most likely should not be dug out unless it's blocking something vital, the bullet is not the problem the damage it made in it's path is

This isn't a criticism of authors who have written things like this. A lot of it isn't common knowledge, and DIY healthcare is absolutely steeped in myth and misinformation. I just worry about disinformation being perpetuated (and I really enjoy accurate hurt/comfort)

If I got anything wrong, please let me know, and I'll edit the post. I'm far from perfect and appreciate good advice

Let me know if you guys want a fic rec list of my favorite Hazbin Hotel whump fics

[rayjeff]

okay im going to sleep now byeee *throws this at you and runs away* <3 ace ring <3

sketches of this

very cool idea by @gay-autistic-bitch-boy

[elsa-fogen]

Tickle

i think i talked about it somewhere but anywhat now it's a comic.

It's been a long time without these two actually...

bonus

now it's rosie's turn to be stitched up lol

[sunlit-mess]

got me thinking too

[az-roser]

Slang Education Day

“I’m not understanding, dear. Does that mean she ate her husband ?”

At this point these are just too stupid entertaining to stop…. lmao. Leave me suggestions of what else Deer Man needs to learn 😂

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3} {Part 4}

[greykolla-art]

💕Can you even CONCEIVE how much I suddenly love them???💕

I think they were strolling around town after having a drink together. And that ends in a little cuddle!😂💕💕💕

Dialogue from The Aristocats, of course.💗💗💗

[flamintyy]

as we dance to the masochism tango ~

vox is probably fine, dw :)

also, little bonus, lmao

[ocelot-t]