#planned a trip to disneyland with bf next month!

[chantalstacys]

2024 vibes ♡

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers?  Yeah, especially my mom and I. Is there any food in your bedroom? Just my ramen bowl from last night that I haven’t taken out, yet, but it’s empty. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Yes. How expensive is too expensive for a pair of shoes?  I admit to liking my Adidas, which are pricy, but the kind I get are at least under a $100. How far away do your grandparents live from you? They live in another state, about a 12 hour drive away.

What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? I think there’s just Cinnamon Cheerios at the moment. My family and I don’t really eat cereal much anymore.  Is there anything related to cats in your bedroom?  No. Whats the last thing you spent over 10$ on?  Stuff from Bath & Body Works. They have their fall/Halloween collection in and I just had to get some stuff. Over 30$?  ^^^^ Do you know who lives three houses down from you?  Nope. Do you think Canadians all really love maple syrup? Do they Lane? lol. I’m not Canadian, but I do love maple syrup.  Is there a bulletin board in your room?  Yep. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? Neither of them really are, but out of the two my mom is more than my dad. My dad has a major sweet tooth and he likes his junk food.  Easter or Halloween? I enjoy both. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards?  I don’t think we have any at the moment. Do you have your moms or dads hair?  I have my dad’s hair color, but my mom’s waviness. She actually had curly hair and has all my life, but she says when she was a kid and teenager it was wavy and then it became curlier as she got older.  Whats the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? The 4ft giraffe stands out a lot.  Have you ever skipped history class?  In college I probably did sometimes. I didn’t make a habit of missing class, but it happened now and then either because I didn’t feel well or just didn’t feel up to it that day. I always made sure I knew what was going on that day (like nothing had to be handed in that day or there wasn’t a quiz or exam, of course) and thankfully because of the syllabus I could keep up with the reading and assignments. I just allowed myself to miss a day or two. Do you own any yellow clothes?  I have a yellow shirt and a yellow Adidas hoodie. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair?  I have a cousin who does. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired?  No, but I cried on the last day of 4th grade because I just really liked my teacher lmao. Everyone loved him, he was awesome. It was cool because he ended up being an 8th grade teacher later on and I got to have him again. Does your kitchen looks like it was designed in a completely different decade? No. Whens the last time you wore heels?  Never. Do you have your moms or dads eyes?  My mom’s.  Is there anything shiny in the room youre in?  Yeah. Whats the best date movie? I wouldn’t know. How long has your current best friend been your best friend? All 31 years of my life. Have your parents ever been out of the country? Yes, they’ve both been to Italy before I was born and I’m super jealous. Actually, my mom went once when she was pregnant with me so I kinda went haha. I’d like to experience it for real one day. Are you older then the last person you laughed with?  Yes. How many pairs of jeans, all together, are in your house? I am not even going to attempt to figure that out. Do you swear and yell while playing video games?  No. Would you rather name your daughter Andrea or Eva?  Not having kids, but I do like the name Andrea. Is there any alcohol in the fridge?  I think there is. If you had to get up at 6am tomorrow morning, would it be painful? I’d be up considering I don’t even go to bed until like 7/8AM. :X Have you ever seen the last person you watched TV with drunk?  Yeah. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend?  I had a friend do that. Would you rather get a new brother or sister? No new siblings at this point. My mom had a hysterectomy anyway, so unless she’s adopting, which she’s not, it’s not happening.  Do you have anything in your room youve had for ten years or more?  A lot of things. Do your pets chase after bugs?  My doggo chases flies sometimes lol. She sees me going after them with the fly swatter and she tries to help.  Would you ever kiss the last person who messaged you on facebook/MSN/etc? No. Do eat at home or in restaurants more? Well, I haven’t ate out at a restaurant since February. We do a lot of takeout, though. We did that a lot even before all this, I prefer it. Whens the last time you were so excited you couldnt sleep? Why?  Back in February the night before my Disneyland trip. Audrey Hepburn or Audrey Kicthing?  Hepburn. I’ve never even heard of Audrey Kitching.  Do you e-mail more often then you talk on MSN/AIM?  I don’t know about MSN, which I’ve never had, but AIM hasn’t been a thing for awhile. It’s been over a decade anyway since I’ve used it. I don’t email either, except recently to try and dispute a charge. If your best friends birthday was next week, what would you get them? Well, her birthday is actually next month so I’ve been thinking about what to get her. What is your moms favorite movie? Grease haha. <<< Ha, that’s one of my mom’s faves as well. How much older is your dad then you?  He’s 27 years older than me. What TV family reminds you of your own family?  Hmm. Do you own any flip-flops? Nope. I don’t wear flip flops, sandals, slip ons, or any open toed shoe. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? Nah, my parents didn’t tell me that. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you?  My parents. Are there any drawers in your house that are just filled with junk?  Yeah, we have the designated junk drawer. I personally have a few :X Is the last person you spoke to in love?  Not that I know of. How far away is Chicago from where you live?  It’d be a 32 hour drive and like a 4 hour nonstop flight. Do you know anyone who always looks perfect? Who? I think my mom does. She likes to wear makeup, but I truly don’t think she needs it. I’m also super envious of her flawless skin, which I sadly didn’t get. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house?  Yeah. Do you think Zac Efron is really that good looking?  Eh, honestly I’ve never really found him attractive. What was the last movie to make you cry?  Hmm. I’m blanking at the moment. Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around?  No. Who was the main character in the last book you read? Her name is Emma Griffin.  Is the last person you said goodbye to single?  One of them is. Who are the last people you saw kiss?  People on the show I was watching. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website?  No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Whos the bride/groom? Nope. I don’t plan on ever getting married. I’m also not the person who has dreamt of their wedding since they were little. Chapstick or lipgloss? Chapstick. I like ones with a tint of color. What was the last unplesant thing to wake you up?  A nightmare. Do you have any friends who are ALWAYS kissing their bf/gf?  Does that get annoying? Would you rather look at clouds or stars?  Stars. If you could trade appearances with the last person you hugged, would you?  Like I said, I’m super envious of my mom’s flawless skin and I think she looks beautiful with or without makeup. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon?  No. Do you ever wonder what the opposite sex do at sleepovers?  Probably play video games, watch movies, and eat. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man?  Sigh. Does your best friend get along with their parents? This same question was in a previous survey I just did. Anyway, yeah she was very close with them when they were alive, but sadly they both have passed away. :( If you were to walk to Florida from where you live, would it take long? Uh, yeah. I live in California and Florida is all the way across on the opposite side. According to Google it would take 912 hours to walk there! Do you understand why 'To kill a mockingbird' is called what it is? I know I learned about the reason why, but I don’t recall. Okay, so I just Googled it because I was curious and yep the explanation is what I was told. When's the last time you broke plans? Why? It’s been a few years now since I’ve had plans, but I started having to cancel and not make plans at all because of health stuff and just for the fact I was really going through a hard time. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you?  Nope. Would you feel safer with an alarm systen or security camera? Both. Does the last person you touched smoke?  No. Do you know someone who is CONSTANTLY texting? Does that annoy you?  It only annoys me when I’m trying to talk to them because so often they’re too focused on whatever they’re doing on their phone. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use?  Yeah. Rate this survey from 1 to 5 (1 worst, 5 best):  I don’t like rating stuff, but it was fine.

[dreamingaboutcountingstars]

2016 Year in Review

This is super late in coming but I haven't found time earlier to sit down and process everything that has happened in this past year (also, leaving my laptop at home, D's apartment not having wifi yet and then getting sick hasn't helped lol). According to a lot of people, 2016 was a mess. More or less, I feel a similar way. But I also wanted to sit down and think because this has been a big year for me in a lot of ways. Without further ado, all the little ways my brain has been trying to convey everything that can happen in a year: Places visited: * 2 countries * 5 states * 10 cities Big events: * (Sort of) lived abroad for a few months * Got into 3 Top Ten graduate schools * Ate at Blue Bayou and Carthay Circle at Disneyland * Worked my first (and second) political campaigns * Got my first promotion to a lead position * Broke up with my boyfriend from UCLA * Met my current boyfriend * Published my first (paid) essay * Became an assistant dance teacher at Filipino Cultural School * Became the first female black belt in Doce Pares Los Angeles * Got into a car accident and totaled my car * Moved to D.C. * Started graduate school at AU * Was awarded a graduate research assistant position for a professor working in Gender and Development * Got an unpaid internship working for an environmental nonprofit focusing on conservation and sustainability in the Eastern Arc * Got a paid fellowship in DC working in environment and politics * Published my first poetry chapbook * Published one of my poems online * Received my first mention in acknowledgements for working with a former professor on his memoir * Booked and flew my first domestic flight alone (back to LA) * Was published in a literary Zine * Went to New Jersey and New York with my former roomie * Realized that although grad school is supposed to be a trial run for professional life, some people still suck and are immature as well as secretly sexist masquerading as intellectuals * On a related note, made and unmade my first friend in grad school * Received As and A-s for my first semester * Organized the first PTSP 13-14 board reunion * Went to Six Flags with my family Highs: * Getting into 3/4 grad schools I applied for, all ranked Top Ten in their international affairs/development programs * Visiting Batanes, Philippines * Visiting Palawan, Philippines * Working on political campaigns * Meeting and dating and being in a relationship with D * Getting my first paid publication * Becoming a program lead consultant for the Southern California and Central California regions for Mirus * Getting four publications out for my writing and poetry * Going to the Philippines and receiving my black belt (and being the first female black belt from my school's chapter) * Going swimming with the whale sharks in Cebu * Going to grad school and making the right decision to go to AU instead of Johns Hopkins (it was really hard to turn down Johns Hopkins) * Getting half my grad school paid for at AU with a research assistant position * Getting a paid fellowship (apparently super rare in DC) for the CAC working in climate change and politics * Getting my first poetry chapbook published * Flying back to LA on my own and going to Disneyland * Going to New Jersey and New York with R * Got As and A-s for my first semester while holding down two internships and a research assistant position * Finally having a PTSP reunion with my board * Having my cousins from Texas spend the holidays with us * All the adventures with D this year, from Griffith Observatory to the Americana to The Grove to Disneyland Lows: * Dealing with my anxiety and depression in the Philippines, without medication and without my support systems in the States * Breaking up with my long-time boyfriend from UCLA * Dealing with politics in the Philippines with my martial arts group * Getting into that car accident and totaling my car * Moving to DC, away from my friends and family and bf * Spending my birthday alone and stressed out from school * Realizing my so-called first friend at AU was a sexist, immature jerk This year was hard. One of the hardest I've gone through so far but it was also full of amazing things. While I may not have accomplished everything on my bucket list, I feel like I accomplished a lot. I reached out to old friends and renewed friendships, I reached out to my old PTSP board, I went swimming with the whale sharks, visited Puerto Princesa and saw the longest underground tunnel in the world, went swimming and exploring in El Nido. I paid for my own trip back to the Philippines to get my black belt and swam with the whale sharks. I got into almost all the grad schools I applied for and they were all top ten; I got $20,000 a year to go to one of the best schools in the nation and a really good fit for me ideologically, which is amazing. I was also published four times! Not in academic writing, which is my next goal, but for poetry and an essay. I have my very own poetry chapbook out and I am humbled by the support and feedback I got from the people who bought copies from me. I was paid to have a personal essay published online. And all of these things are things I couldn't have imagined actually happening to me growing up. Being a published writer seemed like a pipe dream almost so thanks are in order for the people who spurred me on to submit my work and try to make this happen. Without the influences, good and bad, I wouldn't have ever thought to try submitting my writings for publication. I also moved all the way across the country for grad school after getting my black belt. I literally left behind almost everythingI knew: my family, my friends, my boyfriend, etc. I also got into a really bad car accident literally the day before I flew out. I totaled my car and spend the rest of the day at the ER basically. I flew out the next morning. And the day after that, I had orientation for AU. I'm still processing how badly that accident left me. Everyone said I was lucky to be able to walk away but I'm left slightly traumatized by the experience. When I drive on the freeway now, sometimes I have moments of panic that my car won't stop in time again and I'll crash. I hate changing lanes and I can feel my anxiety spike whenever someone mentions it. This year has definitely been a fight for my mental health. From holding back panic attacks from someone sending me horrible text messages to struggling with anxiety from politics, to depression from moving away to repeated cycles of both for other causes, I constantly have to fight against mental and emotional exhaustion as well as the depression and anxiety while juggling with my everyday commitments. The Philippines was rough because of my depression and then coming back was rough because I knew my ex and I were not going to work out and I didn't want to hurt him. The breakup sucked. We were both not okay for a while, but I have to be grateful for the friends I made who supported me when I was in that dark place and for him and my other friend who told me I needed to be alone for a while (given how that was the reason I wanted to break up in the first place and my depression and anxiety were getting really bad but I was such a mess after we broke up, at my lowest I wanted to get back together). Because even though I should have ended it way sooner and I tried, he really was my support system while I struggled in the Philippines for three months and I am grateful for that. Even though we don't talk anymore, for I think a variety of reasons, I am grateful for the love and support we had in our relationship. And the friends I've made because of him. And I met D. Even though I didn't plan it and actually wanted to be single and alone until after I moved to DC, it turns out life doesn't work the way you want it to at times. 😂 So even though I struggled with the timing of it all (in more ways than one), it taught me the difference between falling into a relationship and actually actively wanting to be in one. I had forgotten what that felt like to be attracted to someone and have that kind of chemistry. It also reminded me of what a relationship should start with: a connection, friendship, and attraction. No trying to convince myself against my better judgment (and desire) to go out with someone, no falling into a relationship by going with the flow. I guess there's a lot to be said about choosing your partner with open eyes and that spark of attraction. I am grateful to have D in my life and the universe for bringing us together. I am grateful for the friends who told me I deserve to be happy and to move on and who reassured me that it was okay, regardless of timing. I remember being stressed out and anxious about my jobs. It was hard working from home and being glued to my phone for my brand ambassador work. But I was handling things: I got promoted and I had regular brand ambassador work and preferential treatment for gigs, which is more than a lot of people can say in that industry. At one point I had three different jobs and I was really stressed out and looking forward to moving to DC so I could quit my jobs. I kept it together long enough to move to DC. And then I moved to DC and the search for internships and ways to support myself began. I accepted a volunteer internship with an environmental nonprofit working for sustainability and conservation in the Eastern Arc because I was afraid I wouldn't get any other positions. Everyone told me how competitive it was to get an internship in DC, let alone a paid internship. But I was lucky. I heard back from the climate change and politics fellowship (paid) I wanted and was offered the position. I also heard back from a few other places, including one for a national think tank (unpaid) but turned it down because I couldn't handle three internships, a research assistantship and full time grad school. Honestly, at points I didn't think I could handle the two internships, and one was only a couple hours a week. But at least my mental health was never so bad I couldn't force myself to get up and get through the day. Somehow I made it through and even though I didn't get straight As like I wanted to my first semester, I got As and A-s. Still there's a lot to be grateful for. I'm grateful for school, and the experiences I've had this year. I'm grateful to my friends and the people in my life, I'm grateful for my boyfriend and I am also grateful for my family. Despite the worst fights we've had this year (and they have been bad), I guess family still has your back when things get tough. I may not have the perfect family, or even a normal one, but I am still grateful to have them in my life despite their flaws and awkwardness and problems because I know they love me and I hope they know I love them. And I hope we have many more years with annoying and loving each other. Bye 2016. You were rough but were good to me a lot of times. May 2017 hopefully be better as we move forward!