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cinnamonest · 4 months ago

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I've been thinking more about promiscuous darlings which led me to the idea of prostitute!darling, and I was thinking about that like in that event a while back where Paimon says Kaveh seems like “the kind of guy that would be easy to take advantage of” and it got me thinking how quickly and readily he would fall in love with a prostitute… literally lured and baited as easily as a fish to a hook.

He doesn't like the thought of what he's doing, initially. He's never been the sort of person who associates with morally questionable things — he’s heard that a lot of those girls don't really want to be doing it, they just need money, so participating would be taking advantage of them, wouldn't it? He couldn't do something so awful.

But he's got a lot of pent up frustration. His work is hard, he's not in a good place financially, he's stressed, pent up, and has no outlet for release. And even if he strives to be a good person, he's still a guy, still has urges that, when gone unmet, only contribute to that frustration.

In hindsight, he feels like something possessed him. Couldn't say exactly what caused him to take a course of action so far removed from what he would have thought was his personal character.

It's just a particularly bad day, after particularly disagreeable clients spent a particularly long time endlessly getting in his face and complaining and snapping at him, he worked particularly late and is particularly frustrated and seething and wallowing as he sulks home so late at night, and he's particularly irritated because some construction going on forces him to take a different route home, and—

You just so happen to call out to him. And when he turns his head, he immediately stiffens up.

So pretty. You have that specific body type he’s always found most alluring, always pictured in his head when he would lay in bed and jerk off all day after classes. And he can certainly tell, because those outfits you girls on this part of the street wear certainly leave very little to the imagination. So much skin, he can see your entire leg, from the hip down to the ankles and all the curving along the way, he can see most of your tits too, cleavage spilling out from the top. It's immediately captivating. If he was thinking straight, he would suppose that's kind of the point, but he's too lost in the sudden burst of stimulation to his eyes to think about much at all.

You have such a nice smile, such a sweet voice. And now that you have his attention, you put on that whimsical feminine charm, shift your weight from one foot to the other, hips swaying all playfully, and he has to ask you to repeat what you said because he didn't hear you the first time, he was too distracted, and it feels so embarrassing to say that, but you just giggle — it's so cute — and repeat your question — if he wants to come inside.

He swallows, stumbles over his words at the prospect, you're being very forward — oh, wait, you probably mean come inside the building. Oh… that makes more sense, at this stage in the process. Whoops…

But that isn't much better. He's still red in the face and hesitates, all uh, ah, I, um, I just…

Yes, he isn't sure exactly what possesses him. It’s not something he would ever do on his own, surely. It feels more like the word comes out of his mouth on its own.

Sure.

The following events seem almost surreal, in hindsight. He can't remember what you even talked about, some empty meaningless conversation about what he does for a living or if he's been around this area before, some placeholder of a conversation that he knows full well is merely a courtesy to make it all feel a little more natural, empty words that are mutually understood to be just a buffer to prevent awkwardness as you walk up the stairs, to fill the short span of time before you get to the point.

He remembers said point a lot better. Long after it's over, he can remember the feeling of your mouth on his, and the way you pulled on the back of his neck to pull him on top of you, the rush of euphoric chemicals to the brain the moment you pulled just one little button undone and the whole thing you're wearing comes falling off, the visual of your body (he’s never actually seen a girl naked in real life before, it’s so captivating, the anatomy textbooks don’t do it justice), and the way your tits bounce with the movements and the way they feel in his mouth and the image of his cock driving into you over and over (no one ever told him it feels so warm and wet, so good, has he really been missing out on this all this time?) and the sounds you made are practically permanently burned into his brain.

So much so, he keeps thinking about it for days on end. He felt kind of sad when he left, but he knows that he only paid for a limited time slot, so it would be unfair to ask to stay any longer, but the way you smiled and waved and told him you hoped to see him again — still naked, body pressed up against the doorframe, the way your chest shifted when you waved — made him feel so warm, made his heart beat fast all over again.

It's all so distracting. He works at a much slower pace than usual, the following days, keeps getting distracted by the lingering visuals in his head and the way he keeps getting hard whenever he thinks about it, and not to mention the guilt.

Yes, as euphoric as it was, he feels terrible. Like he's done something wrong. Swears to himself that he'll forget about it and never do it again, that it was a one-time thing.

But he begins to rationalize it to himself.

Sure, you do it because you need money, but that means that if no one participated in the exchange, then you wouldn't make any money at all, and that would be worse, right? Besides, everyone knows some of those guys that engage in this sort of thing are terrible, mean people — but he's not, he's a really nice guy! So by seeing you, by being the one to buy your time, he's protecting you from potentially having to do it with really bad men. So, when you think about it, he's actually doing something really good.

And it improves his life, too. The next day, he finds that the nagging clients don't really get under his skin at all. Sure, they're complaining and being mean to him, but he's not really paying attention, it all feels far away, like it's not even real. He just feels full of this warm, fuzzy feeling, total bliss, like floating, without a care in the world. He isn't stressed, isn't worried. He even thinks to himself that, you know what, that task or that work can wait until tomorrow, no rush, and if someone gets mad about it, too bad.

He ends up just laying in bed, grinning like an idiot, basking in the euphoric high that lasts him several days on end.

…Except then, it fades away.

Soon he's back to the stress, constant state of being overwhelmed, the little things start to upset him again, and he actually feels more miserable than he did before, now that he has such a good feeling to compare to.

You said you hope he comes back, didn’t you? And he’s pretty sure he stuttered out an o-oh, okay, so now he’s obligated.

Thus, soon enough, he's back.

It's not like he's intentionally seeking you out. He just felt like walking home a different way today, is all, which just so happens to be the route that took him by you last time, and he has no intention of seeing you, it just so happens to be the case that you are standing around outside and you do happen to see him and you choose to call out to him (by his name!! You remember him!!), you're smiling and have such a sweet voice, you clearly want him to come in (do you like him? You wouldn't be smiling if you didn't, right?) and it would be mean of him to reject you, wouldn't it?

Yes, you're clearly happy. You smile all over again. He's not doing anything wrong, it's only wrong if the girl doesn't like doing it. He would never taken advantage of one of those vulnerable girls that's forcing herself to do it for money. But you're not like that, so it's okay.

Which is how he ends up back there a third time. Because it's okay, and it makes you happy, and it makes him very happy, so it's all okay.

And besides, what you two have is different. It's not like the normal cases, where the girl is just in it for money and doesn't want the guy at all. You clearly enjoyed your time with him. Probably a welcome relief from all the gross old guys you have to see.

And it's different because it's not just sex. Normally, with this sort of thing, it's cold and impersonal, isn't it?

But you smile so sweet and run your fingers through his hair, and cradle his head in your arms and pull him close and coo and fuss and run your fingers down his back. And since he intends to pay for the entire night this time, you get to just lay there together, and you're so warm and soft and you smile and giggle as he talks, so pretty, so nice to him, your skin is so good to touch, you smell so nice.

And the sex itself is different too — you like it, genuinely, he can tell, you make such nice sounds and lewd faces and look directly into his eyes and pull his head forward to kiss him (he one heard someone say that prostitutes never kiss clients, so if you do that it must mean he's different), and you hold him so close and tighten up around him and it feels so so so so good, and the way you quiver and the sounds get louder and you squeal and spasm and it's so so SO good, too good, it feels so passionate that it has to be real.

Yes, it is real. It's not just acting. He can feel the slick wetness all over his hips from you, that means it's real. And you don't even mind when he gets a bit lost in the feeling, starts to really let all the pent-up irritation out, gets rougher and harder and holds you by your throat. He feels so terrible after he cums and realizes what he was doing, keeps sputtering out apologies over and over, but you smile and wave your hand and say it's more than fine, giggle and kiss his forehead, say you wouldn't expect it from such a sweet boy like him, but you like it. If you're fine with it, if you like it, then you're not scared he might actually hurt you. You must really trust him, then.

The downside is that now, work feels so miserable. He keeps thinking about how much he wants to go back to you. Each project feels like torture — why is he here, negotiating with these disagreeable people, slaving away all night, when he could be balls deep in you again, hear your voice, feel your touch?

And he starts to get so irritated and frustrated again, and he finds that this time around, he doesn't have to sit there and let the frustration hit a peak before deciding to do something, he doesn't have to rationalize it for hours on end just to allow himself to give into the urge — the moment the frustration rises, his mind immediately settled on the decision. He has to go see you. You'll make everything better.

Except now, he realizes as he reaches into his drawers, there's a different problem.

…He has no money left.

That means he can't see you. He spent all his savings on you last time.

It makes him feel sick. This can't be happening. What is he supposed to do? He can't just go back to dealing with the frustration all the time! Now that he knows what it's like to be so happy, he can't go without it. He needs it.

It's not just the sex itself, he's not some kind of degenerate, he wants to see you! That's wholesome and good, isn't it? So it’s not like he’s some sort of pervert addicted to sex itself, he’s addicted to you.

And besides, if he isn't there for you, you'll have to deal with other men, and most guys who see prostitutes are bad guys, right? What if one of them hurts you? What if you're expecting him to come, and then you'll feel hurt and sad if he doesn't? You'll be disappointed. He can't let that happen.

So where is he supposed to get money from…?

Well. He has a few means, as he starts to brainstorm a bit. Right, there is a small stash of emergency money he had put away at the bottom of another drawer, that he was saving for a situation where he needed it, but put it away so he wouldn't be tempted to spend it on something unnecessary.

But this isn't like that. It is necessary, for him to continue functioning properly. And for you to have the money to get by! Not only is he guaranteeing your safety for the night, but what if you didn't get anyone if he didn't come? Well, it's unlikely no one would come, but still, you might not make enough money, and what happens then? Don't those guys that own the brothels get really mean to the girls that don't make enough? He can't have that happen. So, this situation absolutely justifies the use of the emergency stash. It's enough to give him another three nights or so. He can just use enough money for one visit, and then by the time he needs another one, he'll have brought in some new money.

No, no, you know what? You need it more than he does. He just gives it all to you at once, and to be honest, it does make his heart skip a beat when your eyes widen in shock. This way, he can reserve the next three nights in a row, right? He originally intended to space them out a bit, but, no, he’s already here, and he’s really needy right now, he’ll just do three nights in a row and figure out how to get more later. He'll just pay upfront. You're so happy. It makes him feel good.

And then, as the night goes on, when you're laying there all curled up together talking about all sorts of things, he off-handedly mentions that you wear that dress of yours all the time, he's never seen you without it, is it your favorite?

And then you get this sheepish look on your face, give an awkward laugh, say that well, you don't really have any other clothes, you sold them all to get by before you ended up here, and you give so much back to the owners that you just don't have enough to get any more…

That's so sad. Poor thing. You can't just not have enough clothes… well, he only has a few things he changes back and forth himself, but girls are really into clothes and stuff, aren't they? You deserve to have nice things, it's sad that you don't get to. He keeps it in mind, says he promises he'll get you something. You say he doesn’t have to. You’re so sweet and considerate. That just makes him want to help you even more.

So when his next project is complete and he gets the payout for it, sure, he only needs about half of it to pay you for one or two nights each week for the next month, and he could get you something cheap and still have a little left over for rent, but… you deserve nice stuff. And the nice stuff would make you so much happier, too, it would earn him favor from you… besides, he has another project he'll finish soon, he can just pay late rent using that.

So he can get the nice stuff. Besides, even shopping exclusively for higher-end stuff, it's still a bit cheaper to buy the super revealing clothes, since they use less fabric. Not that he's a pervert or anything, it's just that you need clothes like that for your job, don't you? It's part of how you lure guys in. The fact that you'll look really nice in it to him is just a side bonus, it's really for your sake.

…Which, actually, does make him feel a bit sick to his stomach. He's getting you clothes that you'll use to hook other guys who aren't him. But, no, he's a mature person, he can't… let himself get upset about something like that… it’s not your fault… he'll just choose to not think about it.

He can distract himself with how happy you are. Your eyes light up and you smile so big and you stand on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his face all over. You're happy. You're really, really happy, because of him, he made you happy, his heart is beating so fast, and when you put them on it shows off even more than he thought it would, you can almost see everything, it just barely covers the bare minimum and you seem to really like that, you pull him close and reach a leg up behind him and pull his hips forward and the rest of the night is a hazy blur of lust and euphoria, you're so happy, and he's happy too.

It feels so good. He's been missing out on this all these years. It's the best feeling of anything in the world. He's so, so happy.

He's so happy that people in his life start to comment on it. They ask if something good happened, they say they're glad he seems less stressed. He just shrugs it off, says he's just been feeling better recently, or makes something up about a different change in habits.

And sure, he has to tell Alhaitham that he won't have rent just this one time, it's just that something came up, although he won't specify what it is, but he makes it sound important — not dishonestly, because it is important, it's just that he knows that the first assumption one would make would he something a bit… more important, but if that assumption is made, that's not his fault.

Nonetheless, he's soon out of money again. Gets hit with the same wave of panic. He's got a routine now, a habit, he's dependent on you for his stress. He needs it. If he doesn't get what he needs, how is he supposed to go on? How is he supposed to function? He can't just use his hand anymore, it's not enough, it doesn't have the same effect. And he can't just beg you to sleep with him anyway, he knows you need money, he would never put you in that situation, it would be unfair to you, he's a better man than that. He has to pay you somehow.

He has some things he doesn't need. Tools he hasn't used in ages. Some stuff he hasn't worn or needed in a long time. He can sell a few things.

And, you know what, this client has been really mean to him anyway, so if he cuts a few corners to get paid a bit earlier, it's no big deal, the guy doesn't deserve his best work anyway. It’s a mentality he normally would never take, but… this is different. This is a unique situation that calls for such measures.

And he's taken out loans before from the bank, usually for projects, and he usually pays it back, so they undoubtedly assume it's just another case of that, so he'll take out a decently sized loan… of course, he may need more money for more upcoming projects, and then they won't give him a new loan until he pays back the old one, but… well, he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

And normally, he would never, ever, ever do something bad, he's a person who prides himself on his moral values, but it's not like he's doing something bad in this case, its just pure coincidence that he happens to find some guy’s wallet dropped on the ground. It just so happens to have a lot of money in it. And he returns the wallet itself into the nearest law enforcement, he gives the object itself and all the IDs and such back. He's sure the rightful owner would pay him for the good deed anyway. And when you think about it, the fact that this would happen to him just when he needed it, it's probably some kind of divine grace that this happened, and who is he to deny what the higher powers gift him with?

He can keep making it work. And he can keep buying out larger and larger blocks of your time, to ensure no one else gets to you — after that one time he arrived to find out you were already occupied for the time being, it practically made his blood boil, made him feel so sick he walked home and couldn't get the images out of his mind of you with someone else, he can't let that happen again, it would kill him inside.

Likewise, he has to get a bit more earnings, take on some more jobs, sacrifice some more sleep because you keep hinting at certain things you want, and if he doesn't buy them for you, who will? It's all stuff you need anyway — well, stuff you need for your job, all the fancy jewelry and perfumes and clothes and stuff. And he gets benefits, too — your love and favor, you take initiative more, you ride him and kiss him more and let him do all sorts of filthy things you don't let anyone else do (he knows because you told him so), you even let him stop wearing protection when he sleeps with you, and it's so much better, it's completely different, he can't go back to the old way, having to be deprived of that warm, wet heat would be utterly miserable. You even give him a night or two for free, because you like him so much, tell him it should be a secret just between you two, okay? Of course, you can't do it all for free, so he has to come back again soon, but you know, this way, he'll stay incentivized, which is good — because you want him to come back because you like him, not for money, no, never that.

You tell him he's your favorite. You say that he makes you happy. You say you would be heartbroken if he ever stopped coming. You say that you need him.

You say that you love him.

He feels like he's going to die of happiness right there on the spot.

You mention that if someone just paid off your price to the owner (said buying price is whatever the owner decides), plus the debt you accumulate from staying here (it's well known that those fees are how they trap these poor girls into endless servitude), then you would be free — that if someone just pays for you, you could be free to do what you want, that you could sleep with him every day, you could even get married.

So he has to do it. He feels bad about the concept of buying a human being, but, his situation is different, because he's a good guy and loves you. Besides, the sooner he does, then the sooner you'll never have sex with anyone but him ever again. He's saving you, really.

And if he doesn't, what if someone else does? What if someone else took you away from him? He can't even imagine it. The very notion makes him feel nauseous, panicked, distraught. He can't let that happen.

It's not unfeasible. If he really budgets well, saves just a little at a time, he can get you out in no time. Just a year or so. He'll start saving.

And sure, he hasn't paid rent in a while now, and he gets these questions of where his money is going, why he's leaving late at night when he never did that before, all these pesky questions he shouldn't have to answer, because it's none of your business, as he mutters in response. He's just got too much going on right now, and strapped for cash, he'll pay it back eventually, that's what matters.

…Which also makes him realize that, even if he does buy you, you'll have to just come live here with him, and how is he supposed to explain that to Alhaitham… he can just say he got a girlfriend, right? Still, people might recognize you, he'd find out eventually, and then he'd probably realize all the missed rent payments were actually going to him getting laid, and that's… not good… he just wouldn't understand, he's totally lacking in any understanding of romanticism or love… such unfeeling pragmatists are so annoying to deal with… he'll just have to deal with that when it happens…

Except it does end up happening sooner than later. Someone or another (some jerk who can't keep their mouth shut, he'll find out eventually), must have seen him around at night, going to you, and that same person must have reported on him (like a grade school tattletale crying to a teacher, hmph!) and that's how he eventually gets confronted, point blank (absolutely no sense of tact or appropriateness!), one night as he’s trying to leave to go see you, but finds the other blocking the door.

Are you blowing your money on a whore?

Of course, before addressing the matter directly, it's important to point out that it is rude to call women terms like that, they are prostitutes and they deserve to be respected as much as anyone else—

So you are.

Which starts off a much bigger, longer, more heated argument, in which he tries to explain that no he’s not dodging the question and that it is not prostitution, you two are in a relationship, you just so happen to also be a prostitute, but he's trying to help you change that— hey, what's with the sighing like that and rubbing the bridge of his nose like he's exasperated? It's true! You even said you love him!

Okay, yes, maybe it's true that they all say that, but in this case, you mean it, you're different, he wouldn't get it.

And sure, the whole thing is probably surprising from him of all people— what do you mean it's not that surprising? What's that supposed to mean? What— who are you calling an “ideal target”?! That's so mean! You—

And despite his best efforts, there is no point in trying to use reason with someone so cold and devoid of capacity to understand love. It's futile. How pessimistic, so annoying. Besides, he's implying you're a bad person, and he can't stand for that. No, you're not using him, how could he say that?

Eventually it becomes very clear that the conversation is going nowhere, it's very much like talking to a brick wall, someone who just refuses to even try and understand what you two have. No matter. Fine, fine, he'll focus on paying back rent first, but then he's going to buy you, and then he'll see firsthand how loving you are (and surely will not charge him extra for another person living in the house, as he was just threatened with)… he'll see. Eventually.

#baby boy...#.kv

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shynetyme06 · 6 months ago

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Epic and cool Papered Jam reference be upon ye (og PJ by @7goodangel)

YA so this is that PJ variant I’ve posted a couple times and made that dtiys for, and yes the mc just stands for main character. I’ve called them mc pj as a placeholder for the longest time cuz I’m slow with names, and so it just ended up sticking for me even after the story was later dubbed PJ’s resolve ;3

Under the cut is an alt ref sheet with updated versions of my other PJ outfits from this post, plus some rambling about the designs lol

Like og PJ, the only non-ink garment she wears is the scarf gifted to her by Ink. But for mc pj, that wasn’t always the case. The outfit you see on the little PJ was also created by him, and they’re hydrophobic clothes meant to help maintain PJ’s form and keep the strings from being exposed. And for the rain boots, I really liked a headcanon I came across that little kid PJ could wear them to keep ink from tracking everywhere (they just gotta be emptied from time to time lol)

Years later, PJ would start to create clothes for herself that look and feel pretty close to what Ink could do, but that’s only as long as she’s in contact with them, because like with pretty much all of her creations, they’ll melt back into ink if left alone for too long. (And for the shedding, rather than tracking ink everywhere she goes she usually just throws away the shoes she wears after a while and then remakes them with newer ink)

The blotch change on the right side of his face is because of error’s tear tracks, I kinda wanted this PJ to take a little bit more after him forrr reasons (would’ve been more obvious if it stayed fully cyan but I colored it before remembering there’s already so much cyan in top half of the design… so now there’s a yellow outline like the pink splotch)

And lastly PJ is about ink’s height at 3’9 :D

#my art #utmv #paperjam #fan kids #mc pj #pj’s resolve #RAAAHHHHHH #this took forever and ever #now to draw the ink of this universe bcuz y’all have never seen him yet!!!#love hoarding my billions of character drawings until the actual ref is done #⭐️

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hotchfiles · 9 months ago

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ [CHOICELESS HOPE] ❞ — four. delicate.

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!reader. summary: the moment leading up to the kiss, the drumroll, is as good as the kiss itself. it's certainly more innocent. it's completely harmless. content warnings: canon divergent. emotional cheating (not on reader). angst. right person wrong time. a bit of daddy issues on this one. no use of y/n. word count: 900+ .a/n: me taking my least engaged fic and making a series out of it? more likely than you think. summary based on himym's victoria and her theory.

previously

Aaron knocks on your door even though that is the least effective way to show you he’s there, hoping in some way this would delay the terrible thing he was about to do. He wishes he could pretend he didn’t know what you felt for him still existed rooted deep in your heart as it did his, and Aaron surely wishes his heart didn’t beat that fast as he heard Jack’s laughter and your voice about three times rougher than usual, apparently pretending to be some sort of monster.

He tried to be honest, but being honest to himself meant admitting that night was a succession of terrible choices only he could be blamed on. He was the one to ask if anyone at the BAU could watch over Jack as his sitter had been sick and Jessica was busy, he thought JJ or Spencer would offer to, but you did. And he accepted it knowing fully well he was leaving his son at your house so he could have a date with his girlfriend.

Your eyes were always your tell, he saw the hurt in then the moment he dropped Jack off, knowing clearly by his outfit that he was going on a date, a special one even.

That was another terrible choice, not explaining before why he needed someone to babysit Jack. You told him he looked nice and your voice didn’t crack but the fake smile you gave him made his heart break. And the one you gave Jack was even worse, watching you so genuinely happy taking him in your arms as if Aaron wasn’t being the biggest jerk was enough to throw him off balance the whole night.

His date wasn’t good, he was silent, more than usual, and it wasn’t fair. Beth was a good person, he loved her. Beth made him believe in something he thought he would never again, that little spark that faded the moment you left and crumbled when Haley died. Beth brought it back, she wasn’t some sort of placeholder as he waited for his true love to come knocking at his door. She was love, and stability. Someone Jack adored, someone he had built a relationship long lasting enough that Jack got accustomed to.

And his final terrible choice that led him to your door again, cutting the date short. Much shorter than Beth expected as they had planned it for weeks before. But he couldn’t face her. He couldn’t talk to her with the attention she deserved because all he thought about was your sad eyes to him and your warm smile to Jack.

He was a mess. He was hurting himself. And Beth. And you. And inevitably he would hurt Jack if he kept acting like that even though he was acting like that because he couldn’t change Jack’s life upside down again. It was always an impossible situation with you.

You know something’s wrong by his face and by the time he shows up at your door, he looks defeated, so you pull him inside instead of calling Jack to go home. You don’t ask him what’s wrong, you don’t want to know, you don’t want to hear him talk about his love life, instead you smile at him and place your hand on his cheek, rubbing the signs of age on his face lovingly, he closes his eyes and hold that same hand, leaning into it for just a moment.

“I gave Jack ice cream twice already so he’s in a hell of a sugar rush.” Your confession makes him laugh and breaks the intimacy of the moment, thankfully so. It was your intention after all, you couldn’t afford more than those tiny minutes. His eyes are accusatory, his mouth expresses his shock as he shakes his head in disappointment. “What? I want him to like me, everyone at the BAU has years of family time with him and I don’t.”

Jack comes from the kitchen yelling, the amount of daddy daddy daddy leaving his mouth per second probably breaking some record, Aaron takes him in his arms, throwing him in the air just high enough to get the boy giggling.

He forgets his dilemmas for that night, Beth’s messages and calls ignored on his phone as the three of you played together. Hide and seek, catch and even a bit of karaoke before it got too late.

Sleeping is hell when he gets home. He keeps thinking about everything he ever did wrong, how he almost cheated on Haley with you and then he let you go, and how he made Haley’s life miserable after that, so much so she ended up cheating on him–he couldn’t judge her for it. And how he was again on the same destructive path.

Fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree, his fidelity to the women he loved seemed to always come back as a question the universe begged to have an answer to: Are you really that different from your dad?

If it wasn’t for you, for your restraint, for your respect for his commitments, would he be able to defend himself from such accusations his own mind threw at him at night? If you didn’t leave the unit, if you didn’t leave his lingering hugs first, would he be a faithful man?

Would he be the man he wished Jack would grow up to be? The man he wished his own father was? Or would he just prove what his mother would constantly say, that he was merely his father’s son?

Those kept him awake until his mind couldn’t handle it anymore.

#lari writes sometimes #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds x reader #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch imagine #hotch scenario

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andvys · 2 years ago

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We'll burn the sky | part eleven

Warnings: 18+, mentions of smut, angst, mentions of substance abuse, mentions of death, mentions of cheating, mentions of reader smoking cigarettes

Pairings: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar!fem!reader | Steve Harrington x fem!reader | past Eddie Munson x Chrissy Cunningham

Summary: Corroded Coffin plays at the hideout again, friends, family and.. enemies show up

Word count: 8k+

@mysticmunson thank you for your amazing ideas as always, bestie🥺

Series masterlist

inspo for the outfit reader was wearing

Eddie’s words and actions kept you up all night. His touch lingered, you could still feel his lips on your neck as your mind repeated his words.

I’m yours, I’m all yours, I’ve been yours right from the start, you have my heart, sweetheart. You’re all I want.

You stared at him with a dumbfounded expression on your face as you searched for the dishonesty in his eyes, only to find none. He was saying the truth, he wasn’t lying, he never lied about his feelings for you.

Despite the things he said to you before, despite the girl that he kept a secret from you for months, you believed him. You finally realized that he never pretended, you were never just a placeholder, he never used you for the band. Right then, he let you see inside his mind, all his walls crumbled and he let you see everything.

And all you saw was a broken man who found love and comfort in you.

Yes, now you know that he never lied but now you are all the more scared. You already found out what it feels like to lose him, what it feels like to live without him, what it feels like to get your heart broken by Eddie Munson

What if you will truly lose him someday?

What if he will leave you?

What if he will find someone better?

What if he will get sick of you and abandon you the way everyone else did?

All these what if’s run through your mind but the one that truly matters doesn’t.

What if he stays?

The hideout is bustling, loud music is playing in the crowded bar, laughter and loud voices are heard from every corner in the bar. Eddie looks around in awe. A look of pride is lingering on his face.

Despite performing on big stages, in front of even larger crowds, in front of thousands of people, he can’t help but feel more excited than ever. This is where it all started. No longer is the place filled with emptiness, the place is filled with people, ones that came here just for the band. A lot of them, he doesn’t even recognize.

But he finds the five drunks, still claiming their usual table, just like they did two years ago. He talked to them earlier, all of them giving Eddie pats on the back and telling him how proud they all are.

He smiles to himself.

Wayne is sitting at the bar with Steve and Robin, all three of them are seemingly in a deep conversation as they wait for their drinks.

The teens are here too, sitting around a round table, he eyes Lucas who is the most excited one out of them. He chuckles to himself, knowing that he is only excited to see you.

After setting everything up on the stage, Eddie walks to the small backstage room to get you. He raises his fist to knock on the door but it opens just before he can do so.

He freezes and his jaw drops. You look good, you always do but tonight, you look insanely good.

“Jesus H Christ,” he mumbles to himself.

He lowers his hand and takes a step back, letting his eyes rake over your body. His cheek flush red and his eyes darken as he eyes your outfit, your exposed skin, your cleavage, your beautiful face, your hair that you no doubt spend the last hour on.

His stomach flutters and suddenly he feels very hot.

He whispers your name in shock.

You blush at the way he is staring at you. Crossing your arms over your chest, he suddenly groans, eyes widening as he stares at your boobs in the little top that is laced together in the middle, exposing your skin and covering your boobs just enough.

“Like what you see, Eddie?” you ask teasingly.

He just nods, still staring at all the leather covering your skin.

“Y-You look so fuck… so hot,” he stutters.

You can’t even help but chuckle. That’s the first thing he has said to you after last night, after he went inside before telling you, that he is willing to wait for you.

You wish you could go back to the way things used to be but you can’t, the pain is still so fresh and all your fears have caught up to you ever since the night you found out about her.

You can’t be vulnerable with him, at least not yet.

But maybe you can go back to the beginning.

“Thanks,” you smirk, “Steve helped me pick out this outfit.”

His eyes flash with jealousy and he has to restrain himself from rolling his eyes.

“You should’ve seen all the other outfits he made me try on, just for him.”

He furrows his brows as his awestruck stare turns into an icy one.

“He also made me try on lingerie but that wasn’t very appropriate for the stage,” you shrug.

“Stop that,” he mutters angrily.

You raise your brows, smirking at him, “why?”

“You know why.”

You shake your head, jutting your lip out as you pretend to think, “no, I don’t.”

He looks hot. He ditched the leather jacket he was wearing earlier, left in a muscle shirt that shows off his toned arms and tattoos. He is wearing dark pants with his trusted belt with the handcuffs. The rings you love so much and the highlight of his outfit tonight; the bandana around his head.

You take a step towards him, giving him an innocent smile, “you look nice,” you whisper, running your hand down his arm, “I love the bandana, Eddie.”

He looks a little speechless, as though he doesn’t understand why you are talking to him like this, why you are touching him and acting the way you used to before it all went to shit.

The way you look at him and the way you touch him, reminds him of the way you used to do when you just met but something about you seems different now, perhaps it’s the intensity of your feelings or the pain you have gone through ever since then.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he whispers.

You nod, giving him a small smile.

“You ready for the show?”

“So ready,” he sighs with a smile on his face, “wanna go out together?” he asks, holding his hand out for you.

You look down at it, heart fluttering in your chest.

You always go out hand in hand, it shouldn’t be anything new and yet something about it feels different. Perhaps it’s because you are in his hometown, about to perform in front of his friends and family and he isn’t hiding you or your relationship.

You look back into his eyes, seeing the softness in them, it somehow makes your heart ache.

You place your hand in his and he smiles at you. You expect him to lead you to the stage but instead he raises your hand, “give me a twirl, sweetheart,” he grins.

“Really?” you snort, knowing that he only wants to see what the back of your outfit looks like.

He nods.

Shaking your head, you chuckle and give him a twirl, the groan that leaves his lips gives you satisfaction.

His eyes almost bulge out of his skull when he looks at the way your ass looks in those tight leather pants, “holy fuck.”

The sound of your giggle fills him with warmth. He never thought he would get to hear it again, at least not directed at him.

He can’t explain the sudden change of your behavior towards him, yesterday you still gave him the cold shoulder, side glances and huffs of annoyance, today, things seem different. Perhaps, you finally decided to give him a second chance, maybe you believe him now, hopefully you do.

Holding your hand makes him happy, though he can still feel the tension in your body and see the distance in your eyes. You don’t trust him and maybe you never will but he is happy to at least have you like this. He will take the teasing over the cold shoulder any day.

When you walk out onto the stage, he intertwines his fingers with yours and gives your hand a squeeze.

You smile at Gareth and Jeff, you haven’t seen them since your arrival in Hawkins, you can’t believe it but you missed them.

You look up at Eddie, watching the way his eyes glow with happiness and excitement as the people cheer for him, for the band. He waves at some people he recognizes from school, ones that didn’t give him a hard time.

He looks at Wayne, a proud smile lingers on his face as he claps for his nephew.

He looks at his friends, eying every single one of them with a big smile on his face.

Eddie couldn’t be more blessed to have such amazing people in his life. His uncle and his friends always supported him, they were always there, they were the ones to encourage him to live his dream, they were the ones who had faith in him and then you came along and you made his dream so much bigger.

Despite the pain he caused you, you look up at him with a soft smile on your face, pride and love in your eyes, for a second you push it all away, the pain, the heartbreak, the sadness. You look at him. You see the emotions in his eyes, the gratitude. You are happy for him.

You know that Eddie had a hard time growing up here. This town caused him so much pain and suffering. People treated him poorly, his father abandoned him, childhood friends turned on him, kids at school bullied him, his girlfriend broke his heart and stomped all over it.

The man that stands in front of you is still a broken child on the inside and you can see it behind all the happiness in his eyes.

You let go of his hand, taking a step back from him, you reach for the microphone.

Eddie gives you a puzzled look but you don’t look at him, looking at the crowd instead as you wait for them to quiet down.

“I love you, y/n!” Lucas yells and you can’t even help but laugh, especially when Max hits his chest with a laugh. You form a heart with your fingers at him, laughing again when he places his hand over his heart.

Eddie chuckles at him, shaking his head. He is happy to see you getting along with his friends.

“Hello Hawkins,” you finally speak into the microphone, “thank you for giving me such a warm welcome but first, let’s give the guys some love, let’s give the stars of Hawkins a round of applause!” you say as you look at your bandmates with a grin on your face, clapping for them.

Gareth gets up from behind his drums and starts clapping for himself, giving the audience a cocky grin before he blows you a playful kiss. Johnny chuckles at his friend, shaking his head as he looks at the audience.

Jeff rolls his eyes at his friend, unable to fight the smile off his face though. He looks at the large crowd, this has been the fullest the place has ever been. Corroded Coffin never had much of an audience except for the five drunks who are cheering for them like crazy now. Jeff waves at them, grinning.

“These guys are one of the best people I know. I'm glad you all found each other and created the best band in the world. Eddie,” you pause as you turn back to him.

His gaze softens as he looks into your eyes. His heart begins to race as you bring all the attention to him.

“I hope you can see how loved you are,” you say, gesturing to the audience, to his friends and his uncle, “you are the most talented person I know, the best performer in the world. Thank you for letting me be a part of your dream. Now, let’s give it up for Eddie Munson, my favorite rockstar.”

Eddie can’t even hear all the cheering, the applause and his friends cheering his name. His heart is thumping and the biggest smile is resting on his face as he looks at you, watching the way you clap for him too as you smile at him.

He can’t even help himself, walking towards you, he grabs you, swooping you off your feet, he holds you tightly, he hears your squeal even over the cheers that just got even louder. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him tightly, enjoying the moment you have been craving for so long.

Both of you close your eyes for a moment, hearts racing and fluttering but feeling whole again as you finally hold each other again.

He smells your perfume as your hair falls in his face.

“Thank you,” he whispers into your ear, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“Go Eddie!”

You both laugh at Lucas’s cheer.

Eddie squeezes your waist as he places you back on your feet again, giving you a smile, he steps back and reaches for his microphone.

“Thank you, guys,” he says as he looks into the audience, “we can’t start before welcoming my girl, my favorite rockstar, y/n was the one who made our band whole, she was the one who made our songs even better, the one who made it all better. Let’s give it up for the best rockstar of all time!”

You blush at his words, watching the way he claps for you with the people. Smiling at him, you watch him get his guitar.

While Eddie got to see your walls fall for a moment and he finally met your sweet and soft side again, he didn’t expect it to be over just as quickly as it came. The moment you started performing, you let the devil out.

You were never shy on stage and you never had a problem being affectionate with him but today, you are different, so much more affectionate, intense and intimate. What may look like a normal performance to the audience, looks so much more intimate to Eddie.

Your lust filled gazes, the mischievous looks in your eyes as you press yourself against him or run your fingers down his chest drives him crazy and it doesn’t even stop at that.

As if he doesn’t already have a hard time controlling himself and his feelings, you end up getting on your knees, right in front of him. You lean back and arch your back, running your hand down your chest as you are singing your lungs out.

Eddie’s eyes widen, he clenches his jaw as he stares at your body. You look sinful.

Your hair is tousled, your skin is glowing, a satisfied look crosses your face as you rake your eyes down his body, winking at him before you move onto your knees, reaching your hand out to one of the girls in front of the stage, who takes it right away, eyes lighting up as she stares at you in awe.

Eddie swallows harshly, fingers strumming the guitar as he leans forward to sing his part. He cannot tear his eyes away from you though, lingering on your ass now. God, the things he would do to you.

He is grateful for his guitar, otherwise everyone would notice the tent in his black jeans. The thought of having to perform three more songs, seems like a torture to him and it truly ends up being torture.

Your teasing never stopped, if anything you kept taking things further and further.

He is enjoying himself but he does wonder what brought it on.

When you raise your brows at him and tilt your head towards the entrance, he follows your eyes and finds her, Chrissy. Her arms are crossed and she stares at you with a scowl on her face, angry eyes flashing whenever you look her way.

She is jealous of you, not because he loves you, not because he wants you but because you get the attention that she used to get. Chrissy never loved Eddie and thinking back to it, she knows they should have been nothing more than friends, perhaps things could have been better that way but it’s no use to ponder over what could’ve been.

She doesn’t hate you but she hates that you were the reason for him to turn his back on her. Her anger only sparks when she looks at Jason who stands next to her with a smirk on his face as he eyes you with a hungry gaze in his eyes, the one that doesn’t go unnoticed by Eddie either as he finds him staring you down like some hungry animal.

Eddie’s possessiveness gets the best of him and he ends up pulling you into his chest, leaning his forehead against yours as he grabs your microphone to sing with you. You smirk at him, licking your lips as his hand slides down to your lower back.

You are his and he is yours and he wants everyone to know.

After the concert, you and Eddie get pulled away by his and your new friends, they are still cheering you on, gushing about your performance. You smile as you watch Eddie being pulled into a hug by Dustin and his uncle.

Wayne gives you a hug, patting your shoulder as he compliments your voice. Your heart warms at his words and the smile he gives you. You feel grateful for his kindness and you are very happy for Eddie to have someone as amazing as Wayne in his life.

“Thank you so much,” you smile at him, “you must be so proud of Eddie.”

He nods, “I am,” he chuckles as he glances at his nephew, “boy was always a troublemaker but I knew he was special.”

“Yeah,” you smile, “he is very special.”

The smile on Wayne’s face grows even bigger when he sees the way your eyes soften as you watch Eddie.

“Hey Wayne, come here,” Eddie calls for him, “I gotta tell you something.”

“Yeah, it’s super important,” Dustin chuckles.

Wayne grabs his beer, excusing himself with a smile before he turns to Eddie.

“Hey Rockstar,” Robin speaks into your ear as she comes up behind you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders, she pulls you back into her, “can I take you out on a date? Your performance did something to me.”

You giggle at her words, turning to look at her with a smirk on your face, “sure, where are you taking me?”

“My place,” she winks, flashing her pearly whites at you.

You raise your brows at her, giggling, “let’s go,” you purr jokingly as you reach for her hand.

“Whoa whoa,” Steve gasps as he interrupts your playful flirting, “why are you stealing her from me, Robin? Let me enjoy the groupie life for as long as I can,” he jokes, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry, Stevie,” you pout, “I found my new groupie.”

He clutches his heart, “ouch,” he mumbles, “and here I thought we had something special.”

You slap his arm, laughing, “shut up.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Lucas and Max walking towards you. You turn towards them, smiling at the teens. Before stopping in front of you, Lucas already throws his hands up, eyes flashing with excitement, “you were so amazing!” he exclaims before he grabs Max’s hand again.

“Yeah, you were so freaking cool,” Max smiles, “and I love your outfit, you look badass!”

“You two are so sweet,” you say, smiling at the both of them, “thank you so much, guys.”

Not only did you meet Steve and Robin, who quickly became some of your closest friends, you also met these two, their excitement whenever they see you makes you happy. Meeting them and the rest of the teens was one of your favorite parts about being coming to Hawkins, Eddie wasn’t lying when he told you about how amazing they all are.

“You guys should totally come to LA when we’re back there,” you smile.

“Oh my god,” Lucas mumbles, “we would love to, right?” he asks, grinning at Max.

Her eyes widen, “duh, of course we would love to come to LA.”

“Yeah, I would love that too,” Steve says, “but I still think that you should hire me as your stylist.”

Max and Robin laugh at his words, “you?”

You chuckle at the offended look on his face when he watches them eye him up and down, “uh yes, me,” he rolls his eyes, “who did you think went shopping with her?” he says, pointing to your outfit.

“Yeah, Steve actually gives some pretty good fashion advice.”

“Thank you,” he nods at you with a smile on his face.

You turn around when you feel someone staring at you. He is standing by the pool table, a cocky look on his face as he eyes you up and down, next to him no other than Chrissy causing your smile to fall.

You know who he is; Jason Carver. Blue eyes, blond hair, the mean look in his eyes and the expensive clothes are enough to give away his identity but then again, there must be ten Jason Carver’s in this town. Still, he stands out in the crowd, well, him and Chrissy stand out with their bright and fancy clothes, the disgusted looks on each of their faces as they look at the people around them.

A sudden surge of anger runs through you, he is the one who made Eddie’s life a living hell, both of them.

Your anger only intensifies when your eyes fall on Eddie, who is talking to a girl now. A bright smile is on his face, eyes flashing as he nods at whatever she is saying.

Your heart drops, a weird feeling settles in your chest as you eye them.

She is beautiful, short dark waves frame her face perfectly, her tanned skin looks soft under the dim light, she has tattoos on her right arm, ones that Eddie is touching now.

Oh god, what is that feeling in your chest and in your stomach?

He leans closer to her and it’s almost enough for you to leave, not wanting to see this. It was bad enough to find out about Chrissy, to see her kiss him, to see them hold hands but somehow this is worse.

Suddenly, his eyes meet yours, a surprised look takes over his face when he sees you staring at him with a sour expression. He winks at you, he fucking winks at you before he goes back to the conversation.

What the fuck?

She raises her hand towards his face, touching his curls. Irritation and anger bubbles inside of you and you can’t even stop the curse word from falling. You want nothing more than to rip her hands off of him and drag him away.

But he is letting her touch him and he even finds enjoyment in it, especially when his eyes find yours.

Eddie has never done anything like this before. Sure he talked to his fans, girls that wanted to be his groupies so bad but Eddie never showed interest in them like that, he never even let them get too close, the conversations were polite, about the band or other interests he might share with them and that’s all. He never gave you a reason to feel jealous, you couldn’t even feel true jealousy when it came to Chrissy but right now, you have that ugly feeling in your chest and it makes you realize that you don’t want to see him with another girl.

You down the drink that Steve ordered for you a while ago before you walk away from him and Robin, ignoring their confused glances as you walk towards Eddie. You push past a few people, giving them polite smiles.

“No, it looks good but I still think that you should cut your hair.” You hear her say, you want to roll your eyes and scoff.

Eddie’s eyes fall on you, his eyes light up.

“I think his hair looks amazing like this,” you swoop in, stopping next to Eddie, you look at her with a smile on your face.

Her eyes widen as they lock with yours, her lips part in surprise and she blinks for a few seconds before she opens her mouth to speak, “o-oh my god, hi,” she stutters, “I’m such a big fan, y-you’re amazing and you look amazing,” she says as she takes a step back to look at you, “I’m Tara.”

“Thanks,” you say, giving her a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes and that’s something that Eddie notices right away, he also notices the anger in your eyes and the jealousy.

The girl doesn’t notice anything though, her eyes are wide, staring at you in shock as though she didn’t just see you singing on stage.

Her giddiness would have been cute if you weren’t so distracted by the awful feelings inside of you.

“Tara was just telling me that my hair would look better if it was shorter,” Eddie says, looking down at you with a smirk.

You are jealous and that is something that fills him with excitement, not because he wants you to feel that way, you absolutely have no reason to feel that way but because this proves to him that you still want him, that you still have feelings for him, that you don’t want to see him with someone else because he belongs with you.

You shake your head, stepping closer to Eddie, “no, I love your hair like this.”

He notices the aggression behind your voice, the possessiveness in your eyes. It makes him crave you even more, it makes him want to kiss you right here, in front of all these people so he can show you that he only wants you, that he is all yours.

Eddie notices the way Tara is staring at you and it makes the situation all the more amusing.

He continues his conversation with her, fighting the smug look on his face, especially when you keep glaring daggers into him. You can hear your thoughts, you are mad, downright pissed, especially when she reaches out to touch his arm again.

“I always wanted to get a bat tattoo.”

“Oh, you should totally get one, it would look cool on you.”

You squint your eyes and Eddie almost bursts into laughter. Your jealousy is something so unnecessary but it gives him hope.

You still want him.

And he would be lying to himself if he said that your possessiveness isn’t hot, especially when you finally have enough and drag him away from the girl after coming up with some lame excuse. Eddie can’t even contain the smile on his face. Your hand is holding onto his as you pull him into the backstage room, not wasting a second to slam him against the wall after closing the door.

He almost moans at your action, especially when you press yourself against him.

“What the hell was that, Eddie?”

“What was what?” he smirks.

The angry pout on your face makes you look both cute and sexy.

“Why were you flirting with her?”

“I wasn’t–”

“I thought you said that you’re mine, that you belong to me,” you mumble, tilting your head as you look up at him with a frown on your face.

He stares into your eyes and at your lips, “but you said that you don’t want me anymore,” he mumbles.

You blink, sighing, you lean even closer to him.

“You are mine, Eddie.”

The hopeful and longing feeling has never been stronger than in this moment, especially when you stand on your tippy toes, brushing his long curls back, you latch your lips onto his neck the way he did to you the night at the roller rink.

His eyes flutter closed and a sigh leaves his lips, butterflies going crazy in his stomach as you begin to kiss his neck. His hands fall to your waist, grabbing you tightly and pulling you flush against him.

Out of all the things that he expected to happen tonight, this isn’t what he expected but god, does he love it.

“I didn’t like the way she was touching you,” you mumble against his skin.

He can’t even help but smirk, you are so clueless.

He moans when you find his sweet spot, kissing and sucking on his skin, you mark him up, wanting to show everyone who he belongs to and he will wear those marks proudly. He enjoys himself and the things you say to him as you continue to kiss him.

So long he has gone without your touch. Sleepless nights and restless days haunted him ever since the night he lost you. He has been thinking of you day and night, craving your touch and longing to feel you in his arms, to feel your lips on his skin, to feel your love.

He whimpers your name and you almost grow weak in the knees at the sound.

“Baby,” he whispers, running his hands up and down your back now, a smug smile making it’s way on his face, “as much as I love this, you gotta know something.”

“What?” you mumble as you pull away to face him.

“She was more into you than me,” he smirks, hands gripping your waist tighter so you don’t walk away.

He watches the way your brows furrow and he chuckles, “she’s like super gay, sweetheart.”

Your puffy lips part and realization flashes in your eyes, “oh,” you whisper as you start blushing, suddenly drawing back as you grow embarrassed and annoyed, “why didn’t you tell me?” you mumble angrily, slapping his arm lightly.

He bursts into laughter.

Rolling your eyes, you push his hands off of you, suddenly feeling like escaping the situation but Eddie has different plans, he grabs your hand and pulls you back, this time he slams you against the wall though, pinning both wrists against the wall.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

He leans down, copying your actions, he moves your hair back and latches his lips onto your neck, kissing the spots above the hickey he gave you.

“Eddie–”

“You know, I’m flattered,” he whispers as he kisses down your neck until his lips are right beneath your collarbone, sucking on your skin, he leaves more visible hickeys, “I’m glad to know that you still want me.”

You whimper at his touches, throwing your head back against the wall, you let him touch you and kiss you again, even though everything in you screams at you to push him away.

The cold metal of his rings sends shivers down your spine as he runs his hands down your back, you mewl at the feeling of his hands squeezing your ass.

“I’ve wanted to do this ever since I’ve seen your ass in these pants,” he groans against your skin, “you’re so fucking sexy, baby.”

He shoves his leg between your thighs, pressing it against your center.

“Eddie,” you moan, “s-stop.”

“I’m yours, you already know that, sweetheart,” he whispers, “but I hope you know that you are mine, you’re not Steve’s or anyone else’s, you’re mine.”

“Am I?” you ask, whimpering when you feel him against your stomach.

“Mhmm, you are mine,” he says, pulling away from your chest, he stares at the marks he left behind in satisfaction before he faces you again, smirking at the lust filled eyes. Wrapping his hand around your throat, he stares at your lips. The urge to kiss you is so bad but he doesn’t, he leans in though, staring at your eyes and the way they widen when he gets closer to you. He hears the hitch in your breath and the way you tense up slightly.

His lips touch the corner of your mouth, placing an ever soft kiss there.

“I know you still want me.”

You look into his eyes. To someone else, he would look smug and arrogant and yes, he does but there is also softness in his eyes and hope.

“I know you miss me.”

Yes, you do.

“I miss you,” he whispers, “I miss being with you, I miss having you in my arms, I miss kissing you,” he says as he places another kiss to the corner of your mouth, “I miss hearing those pretty sounds you make when I touch you.”

No, no, no….

His words and his touches make you feel dizzy, you want to throw yourself at him, you want to kiss him, you want him to take you.

You can’t even help but stare at his lips and lean in a little. You want him so bad, you want him to kiss you until you're breathless, you miss him, you miss the feeling of him too.

Just as you’re about to say ‘fuck it’ and smash your lips against his, something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by him, he pulls away, letting go of you and taking a few steps back, a smirk appearing on his face when he sees the irritated and confused look on your face.

“But you wanted me to stay away from you, so I’ll do that.”

Is he serious?

“If you want me to stay, just say so.”

But of course you won’t tell him to stay, not only are you confused and irritated, you are also really stubborn.

Rolling your eyes, you scoff, shoulders slumping as you lean back against the wall.

Eddie chuckles, “you know where to find me,” he says before leaving the room, slamming the door shut and leaving you standing there.

He walks back into the crowded room, the smug look still lingering on his face. He finds Steve and Robin hanging out with Jeff and Gareth, he orders himself a drink before he joins them, all of them in the middle of a heated conversation about what Christmas movie is the best. Eddie doesn’t listen to them though, instead he keeps his eyes on the door in the dark hallway, waiting for you to come out of the room and when you do, he is not met with the expression he expected.

You look annoyed and frustrated as you push past a few people, coat in your hand as you make your way towards the entrance, you left your handbag behind but he can see the pack of cigarettes in your hand. He follows you with his eyes, chuckling when you turn around to look at him, your brattiness comes out when you roll your eyes at him again.

He drinks his beer, waving at you, he laughs when he sees you mumbling something under your breath before you walk out.

Placing the bottle on the table, he gets up to follow you but before he can even take a step towards the door, Wayne calls his name, waving him over to his friends, “come here, boy.”

Steve raises his head to look at Eddie, watching him leave when his eyes fall on Chrissy who rushes out of the bar, moments after you.

The fresh air cools you down a little. The cold kissing your warm cheeks. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath before you place the cigarette between your lips, a stupid habit you developed over the past few months. You don’t always smoke and probably go through only one or two packs a month.

Rummaging through your pocket, you look for the lighter, groaning in annoyance when you find none, you don’t pay mind to the door closing or the footsteps on the snowy ground, too busy hoping to find your trusted lighter in the other pocket.

“Hey.”

You freeze, the sound of her voice causing you to tense up. Taking the cigarette between your thumb and forefinger, you pull it away and turn to face her.

“Chrissy..”

Her brows are raised, a false smile on her face as she looks you up and down.

“Can I help you?”

She shrugs, smiling at you as her eyes meet yours.

She looks sweet, she sounds sweet, her smile is pretty, overall she looks like a pretty and kind girl but you can see right through her, though you can see how she was able to fool Eddie.

“I just wanna warn you.”

You can’t even help but chuckle at her words, at the faked concern in her eyes.

“Oh, about what?”

“About Eddie,” she says, taking a step towards you, “he is not who you think he is. You know, sweet and loyal– but you know that already, I mean, he cheated on me with you so..”

You frown at her words, wanting to defend him but you opt to hear her out first, curious about the things she has to say.

“Eddie may seem like a good guy–”

“He is a good guy,” you say, interrupting her.

She huffs a little but the polite look on her face remains.

“Is he? He cheated and he lied to both of us.”

Your eyes dart away from her, a sigh leaving your lips as you cross your arms over your chest.

“How long has he kept me a secret, y/n?” she asks, walking even closer to you, “all this time, right?”

Your clenched jaw and the annoyed look in your eyes gives her the answer that she’s waiting for.

“He never told you anything about me because he knew that you wouldn’t want him if he did,” she shrugs, “he used you.”

“Did he?” you ask, eyes meeting her’s again.

She nods, “yeah, I mean why else would he want you to join the band?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, dropping your arms, you smile at her, “you tell me, he was your boyfriend.”

She squints her eyes and tilts her head.

“He knew who you were, he knew who your dad was. I mean, did you really believe him when he told you that he didn’t know you? His uncle loves your dad’s music and as far as I remember, you were in magazines before you even joined the band, so do you really think that Eddie hasn’t seen you before?”

Her words cut deep but you don’t show it, the amused smile on your face irritates her and you can see it as the nice girl facade begins to crumble.

You swallow harshly, blinking as you stare into her cold eyes. You would be lying if you said that her words didn’t make your stomach drop a little.

She is getting under your skin and she knows it.

“Eddie called me after he met you, he told me how he hit the ‘jackpot’,” she chuckles in satisfaction, “he knew that he would finally get what he always wanted with you by his side.”

When Steve told you about her, he didn’t leave out her special ability to lie and yet, you easily believe her, not because you would ever trust her but because those things lingered in the back of your mind ever since that night in Cincinnati.

“And look, he did get it all. The album, the fame, the tour, the money and that’s all thanks to you. He needed you. I mean thanks to you, he isn’t some useless freak anymore.”

Your breathing quickens, heart racing in your chest as you stare at her.

“You are pretty, y/n,” she smiles, “and your dad is– I’m sorry, was famous, that’s why people like you so much, that’s why he likes you so much but Eddie rarely ever sticks to one girl as you can tell. He will grow sick of you and once that happens, he will run the way he always does.”

‘Don’t believe her, believe him’ you tell yourself, you know what she is trying to do. She is trying to manipulate her, the way she manipulated him before.

You push the pain away, the insecurities and the doubt.

You think about the things Steve told you about Chrissy, about Eddie and her, about their relationship. How she lied to him, how she treated him, how she cheated and manipulated him all these years.

Anger rushes through you, she sabotaged her own relationship and now she is trying to sabotage you and Eddie.

“You know what, Chrissy?”

She tilts her head, giving you another one of her sweet smiles.

Neither of you notice the person walking out of the bar, both too focused on each other.

“Eddie is the sweetest person I know, the best person I’ve ever met and yeah, what he did wasn’t right and I won’t excuse that but he should’ve left your sorry ass a long time ago. You never deserved him. He is way too good for you, he was always way too good for you. You used him, you manipulated him, you treated him like shit and cheated on him and now you’re standing here in front of me and have the nerve to act like the victim? You’re an awful person, Chrissy. If you would’ve treated him right, he would’ve never done this to you, he wouldn’t leave, he wouldn’t lie and he certainly wouldn’t cheat. This is all on you, ” you say angrily, shaking your head at her, “You’re a fucking idiot, Chrissy.”

Her lips part and she stares at you in both shock and anger.

“I’m an idiot?” she scoffs, pointing to herself.

“Yeah,” you nod, “I know he gave everything he could, his love, his heart, I mean he wrote songs for you, you don’t just write them about anyone, he loved you and you broke his heart.”

You search for the guilt and the regret in her eyes and maybe there is some, somewhere behind all the anger.

“He was always happy with me.”

You can’t even stop the laugh from escaping. Shaking your head, you look behind her, finally noticing Steve, who looks between the two of you with a concerned look on his face.

“Oh, is that so?” you ask, looking back at her, “then why did he leave?”

Your words irritate her and you can see it clearly, it only makes you want to throw more fuel into the fire.

“If he was so happy with you, why did he run away from you?”

She frowns and crosses her arms, huffing as she looks away.

“If he was so happy with you, then why was he so desperate for me? Why did he feel the need to come crawling into my bed?”

She clenches her jaw, she is bouncing her leg, cheeks growing red from the anger.

“Chrissy?”

Three pairs of eyes land on the blond man as he steps out into the cold as well. He furrows his brows as he finds Steve standing by the door, he sizes him up before he turns to look at her, eyes moving between the two of you.

“Everything okay?” he mumbles, walking towards her.

“Yeah,” she whispers, her big eyes and pouty lips making her look vulnerable. She steps towards him, taking his hand.

You roll your eyes, scoffing at the innocent act of hers. Stepping away from her, you make your way towards Steve.

“Did you know that Eddie used to sell drugs?”

You halt in your tracks, eying Steve for a moment, he shakes his head at you, begging with his eyes to ignore her words but you still whirled back around.

Chrissy stares at you with a look in her eyes that you should probably be scared of.

You shrug, “yeah, so?”

“He also sold heroin and cocaine.”

Your mouth twists and shivers run down your spine, you know exactly where this is going.

“Did you know that he uses it too?” she asks, tilting her head, “go to his trailer right now, you’ll find some.”

No…

“He used to snort cocaine like every night.”

“Chrissy,” Steve warns.

“Do you really wanna be with someone like that? Someone like your dad?”

Your blood runs cold, you freeze and your eyes widen as you stare at her in confusion.

“You really loved your dad, didn’t you?” she asks, pouting, “it must have been so hard for you to find him dead on the bathroom floor with that disgusting needle sticking in his skin.”

All color drained out of your face the moment those words left her lips, angry tears well up in your eyes.

“That’s enough,” you hear Steve say as he walks towards you, he looks at you in concern, seeing the angry and pained look in your eyes, “let’s go, y/n,” he whispers, placing his hand on your shoulder but you don’t move, you hold your chin up high and raise your brows, urging her to continue.

“You will find Eddie just like you found him. Are you gonna survive that a second time?"

Steve could see the way her words hit you. He doesn’t know whether you want to scream or to cry but it breaks his heart to see you like this.

“Leave her alone, Chrissy,” Jason mumbles, rolling his eyes as he tugs at her hand, “let them ruin each other, that trailer trash finally found himself a princess.”

She chuckles at his words.

“Dude,” Steve warns, glaring at the former jock, “shut the hell up.”

“You wanna say something to me, King Steve?” he says mockingly, “you think I’m scared of you?”

“You should be,” you mutter, pushing away all the shock and pain, “your little girlfriend over here has been trying to fuck him for the past two years, all he has to do is whistle and she’ll come running like a dog.”

Chrissy gasps at your words but he only frowns at you.

Steve snorts but covers it up with a cough.

“You’re Jason, right?” you ask, walking towards the blond.

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you take your girlfriend and get the fuck out of here, you clearly don’t belong here,” you mutter angrily as you step closer to him, eyeing his white button down beneath the black coat, “this isn’t some concert sponsored by your shitty church.”

He grins at you, irritating you further.

“Oh yeah, I just wanted to see what that freak made out of his life, didn’t think he would ever make it out of the trash park, I think he fit in there pretty well. That piece of garbage–”

Your fist meets his face before he can even finish his sentence.

“Fucking asshole.”

He grunts in pain as he stumbles back, Chrissy shrieks as she rushes to his side, “Jason!”

He pushes her hand away, holding his hand in front of his eye, “you crazy bitch!”

Another fist meets his face but this time it isn’t yours, it’s Eddie’s.

If it wasn’t for Chrissy holding him up, he would’ve dropped to the ground. He clutches his nose, grunting and groaning in pain.

“You wanna say that again, Carver?”

Your heart begins to pound in your chest as you look at Eddie, who stares at the blond in anger. Jason pushes Chrissy away about to move towards Eddie.

Steve grabs your waist and pulls you back, knowing that you will jump in front of Eddie, “that’s enough, troublemaker,” he mumbles as he holds you against him.

Chrissy jumps in between both men, placing her hands on Jason’s chest, “Jason, stop! Let’s just go, you’re bleeding already!”

He tries to push her away but she doesn’t budge, “please.”

“Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, Jason,” Eddie spits.

The tension is high and the anger is all around you as you all stare each other down.

“Get the fuck out of here!” Eddie yells at him.

Jason scoffs, “fucking prick,” he mumbles.

Chrissy looks back to you, intense and angry eyes staring at you.

“You’re gonna regret that.”

“Just fuck off, Chrissy,” you mumble.

She rolls her eyes, scoffing at you and Eddie before she leaves with Jason.

“Jesus,” Steve mumbles, finally letting go of you, “are you okay?” he asks with a soft tone in his voice.

Eddie turns to you as well, rushing towards you, his concerned eyes are the first thing you see when you look at his face, he grabs your hand, checking your knuckles for any injuries but you pull your hand away and look down, “I’m fine.”

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, the moment you feel yourself relaxing. Your tears come back, threatening to spill.

Steve whispers your name, still staring down at you in worry. What Chrissy said about your dad was true, he saw it in your eyes when she said it.

“W-What happened?” Eddie asks as he looks between you and him.

Steve avoids his eyes, not knowing what to say.

Your breathing quickens, eyes burning as you open them.

How does she know?

“C-Can someone take me home, please?” you asked brokenly.

Both men stare at you in concern and sadness, wanting nothing more than to pull you into a hug.

Eddie glances at Steve who gives him a sad smile and a look that tells him; she needs you now.

“I’ll walk you home, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers.

“Do you want me to drive you?”

Eddie shakes his head, “no, it’s fine, the motel isn’t that far away.”

“Yeah,” you say, raising your head to look at Steve, you try to give him a smile, “see you tomorrow?”

He nods, taking your hand, he squeezes it softly, “yeah, call me later if you need me, okay?”

Your gaze softens, squeezing his hand back, you smile, “okay, good night, Stevie.”

“Good night, y/n,” he whispers, pulling you closer, he kisses the top of your head, “I’m sorry about what happened.”

“It’s okay, I’ll be okay.”

Your words worry Eddie even more, he frowns, heart aching in his chest when he sees the glint of sadness in your eyes. He reaches for your hand after you pull away from Steve.

The first five minutes of your walk are spent in silence. You don’t speak up and neither does he, despite the concern and the anger he still feels as he thinks of Chrissy and Jason.

You sniffle, trying to keep the tears from spilling. You look ahead, watching the snow fall, painting everything even whiter than before. The cold wind is harsh and it only makes your tears well up even more.

A hollow feeling settles inside of you.

Images of your dad laying dead on the bathroom floor are back in your mind, images you always try to push out, you don’t want to think about it, you hate thinking about it.

You feel nauseous and scared when you think of Eddie being in his place.

Was she telling you the truth?

Eddie never gave any signs that he was using drugs. He never wiped his nose after leaving the bathroom, he never sneaked away, his pupils looked normal, his skin was clean, his behavior was normal and yet, her words left you feeling sick and anxious.

You can’t do this.

You can’t lose him.

You can’t go through this again.

“I can’t do this.”

You stop walking and let go of his hand. Eddie halts in his tracks, looking down at your hand before he glances at you, “w-what?”

Your bottom lip quivers. You don’t look up at him, you can’t.

“I can’t do this again,” you mumble.

Your hands are shaking, not from the cold but from the fear. His heart breaks all over when he sees how broken and scared you look. Rushing towards you, he cups your cheeks, “what are you talking about?” he whispers as he tries to get you to look into his eyes.

“I can’t stay in the band.”

His stomach drops, eyes flashing with fear, “what?”

Tears brimmed your eyes as you finally looked up at him, “are you using drugs?”

You search for the truth in his eyes but you only find shock and confusion.

“I– what?”

tagging mutuals and friends! @prettyboyeddiemunson @littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @mysticmunson @aftermidnightwriting @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @sherrylyn628 @yearwalker96

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female character #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things angst #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie

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silverware-is-interesting · 8 months ago

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got some sketches of the band au

Note: these are not final, design's are likely going to change when i eventually clean them up. they all technically have 2 outfits (onstage n offstage) these are just the onstage fits

idk what to make the tag for this au tbh "kinitopet band au" seems kinda boring... ANYWAYS! Have a terrible overview of the concept so far. n the band members too ig

Meet the KinitoBAND (placeholder name while i think, i'm open to suggestions though). They're a rather niche yet beloved band who play a multitude of different genres. all of their songs have a rather upbeat nature, or, they used to. lately they've been leaning more into rock and sometimes it just gets a little... strange... wonder why that is? they're actually more like vocaloids(???) that are programmed like Kinito with the react response algorithm (Kinito's i more advanced, but they've all got it) so if they ever did interact it'd be alright. the programmer (Sonny C) had initially only meant for there to be a vocalist but there was a decision somewhere to make a band (so there's a drummer and a guitarist too)

Let's get into the characters

Kinito The vocalist + tech Kinito is a fan-favourite, to be expected of the one who is always in view front 'n center. personality-wise he's similar to his canon counterpart, just a bit (emphasis on bit) more chill. i've imagined him to get a little... parasocial with his fans who probably just went for the music. he has a bit of a persona on stage, you could say. he's more energetic and in general might be a little more aggressive than usual, especially lately.

Sam The drummer Sam isn't quite as popular as Kinito, but he's got quite a few fans who might not gravitate towards Kinito like almost all the promotional material wants you to or people who like the drums. personality - Sam has a calm, almost 'cool guy' demeanor. he acts relitivley the same on and off stage. Jade the guitarist Jade, unfortunately, is the least popular member of the band. She's got a couple devoted fans, but noticeably less than the others. just as intended. personality- she's quite resourceful and the most upfront about things of the band. she's generally louder than the others, not on purpose, she's just not the best at maintain a good speaking volume.

#silverware's art #kinitopet #kinito the axolotl #sam the sea anemone #jade the jellyfish #kinitopet band au #yeah i've noticed people like kinito the most. then sam. which leaves jade off to the side..#so i included that!#also sonny is like. LONG (not that long maybe a few months-) DEAD here. kinda work related. barely relevant to this au #marketing was so shitty to sam n jade man...#(in the au. that is)#jade plays the bass. just a fun fact.#sorry man kinito doesn't make a world for you here. you get. uh. different gift ig..#anyways i hope you can play an instrument #sonny isn't quite the sun in this au.. he's rpresented by one though. so. kinda #it is WAYY too hard to not spoil the little plot i have..

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perfectlysanexd · 2 months ago

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Guuuuys, it's the anniversary of Advent Children! It came out in 2005, and began my unending obsession with Final Fantasy VII—specifically, Sephiroth and Cloud. I've probably mentioned it before, so I won't gush about it too much. To this day, I think that's Cloud's most beloved, iconic outfit, while I think most people prefer Sephiroth's Remake duds, with the sexy belts. Nomura is definitely a belt lover, so I'm not sure why he allowed Sephiroth's coat to float around in the breeze. Also, the addition of various textures to the jacket, I think, made it a lot more iconic and interesting to look at.

So I thought I'd take a look at some of my old AC manipulations, most of them scenes from The Last Chance, my first multi-chapter sefikura work on AO3. I am still very proud of it, and I know that some of you have read it many times. 💕 I'm honored to know that it became a comfort fic for some of you!

(This is the only one that's not from TLC...perhaps it's a bit more like A Tempting Trade?)

I think this is from like...the 2nd or 3rd chapter? They return to Edge, but Sephiroth obviously has no where to stay and, feeling sorry for him, Cloud allows him to sleep in his bed. Sephiroth wants a little something extra, but Cloud won't permit it within Seventh Heaven, with Tifa and the kids right down the hall. Thinking back on it now, surely Sephiroth knew that...

...said Cloud, before trying to deal with the situation all by himself.

"Seeking forgiveness in the hopes of absolution...is a terribly selfish act." I think that was his reply. That part always sticks with me, because AC is, by and large, about forgiveness—both of yourself, and others. Cloud forgives everyone except himself, while Sephiroth forgives no one, including himself. It's an interesting dynamic as they slowly grow and change together.

Will there be a Dirge of Cerberus type sequel...? Perhaps eventually. It has a placeholder in my WIP folder for the moment.

#sefikura #sephiroth x cloud #sephcloud #the last chance

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daflangstlairde-art · 27 days ago

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A Catalog of Non-Definitive Acts — Chapter 3, 4580 words

Part 3 of DFL's Whumptober 2024

Work Summary:

Love was cauterized out of him young, because that is how you survive. But coming back home with the Splintersons, Leo craved. He craved and he ached and he hungered. Because the Jitsu family loves. They love ardently, fervently, they love in a way Leo has never, ever seen before, they love in a way Leo could never even conceptualize much less dream of. (She’s always taught him, by word but much more by example, to take what he wants and settle for nothing less.)

Here's chapter 1

Here's chapter 2

Leo woke up at around 7 a.m. again, because if they were gonna take ages to give him a schedule, he was going to make a placeholder one on his own. His life has had clear, written out steps for years.

Today, he would be doing nothing, Mikey said. Okay, that's fine. Leo could fill the time of his punishment on his own.

He started doing his morning exercises. He didn't rush through them—he had an entire day worth of time to endure.

He tidied up his cell—made his bed, checked for dust, that sort of thing. He dressed himself in his new outfit, even though his previous one was washed now.

Aaand that's about when he ran out of ideas.

Leo sighed, flopping back in bed, to stare at the ceiling. He didn't have any upcoming dinners or Nexus performances or public appearances to think on. He didn't have any classes to revise.

So, Leo started on his first tactic to pass the time: analysis.

He could use this time to better himself. He closed his eyes, and began going through old and recent interactions with the Jitsus. Started rotating them in his head, picking at the tiniest of details. There's always something that can be useful.

Gosh, it was such a moment, to learn he had three lost brothers. Like, he knew he wasn't actually Big Mama’s child—in multiple ways, including the fact that he didn't remember his earliest childhood. But brothers?? Insane. They'd been even more baffled than him.

And that sentiment was tripled when, apparently, Baron Draxum of all people dropped the craziest lore—that they were all made with Lou Jitsu's DNA. The former Battle Nexus Champion! The Mad Dogz' beloved movie star! Like what?!

Gah! And finding little pockets of time, tiny opportunities to slip away from his duties to see them? To get to know them, bit by bit? Hear about the mutants they've fought, the fun they have? As dangerous and nerve-wracking as it was, it was also so much fun, every time. He'd always looked forward to it.

It turned into a mess, of course, haha, but hey! Here Leo was, better off for it.

He chuckled, thinking about the random times he’d run into them. Like at Laberinto de Muerte, their first meeting. Or at mamá’s hotel, trying to wrangle those oozesquitos, when they learned from the baron that they were related. Good times, haha.

It was nice, reminiscing on his moments with the Jitsus. He was looking forward to having more. And it made him feel at least a little productive, to revise what he’s learned about them, think up ways to ever so slightly alter and correct his behavior.

It also got him thinking about his life before meeting them. About people he would call friends.

...He wished he’d gotten to keep those friends, but, well. He was stupider, back then. Sure, he'd known that if he got too obviously attached to something, it would be used against him or taken away from him, but... he hadn't considered that rule would apply to people, too. Idiot. That was one of his worse mistakes. Leo made sure to learn from it.

Love was cauterized out of him.

...But man did it really, really want to regrow. Leo seriously had to keep it in check, or it might end him in big trouble.

Big hearts are also big targets.

He was jarred out of his thoughts by a knock on the wall beside his curtain. He checked the time—9:34 a.m. Slightly earlier than yesterday. Ah, probably breakfast then, sweet. Leo couldn't help but grin as he hopped up to his feet, excited to see someone. Especially considering he probably wouldn't get much of that today.

“Leo?” Raph’s voice, a little hushed.

“Still here, boss man,” Leo said, cheeky.

Raph pulled the curtain aside, and smiled upon seeing him. “Damn! You always wake up early?”

“Mhhmm,”

“Oh, awesome! Mikey and especially Donnie kinda like sleeping in a little more, but uh, if you want, I do some exercises in the morning,” Raph said, fidgeting a little. Interesting. “You could join me! If you want,”

Yes! Aw yeah, baby! Even during his punishment, Leo would still get to hang out with someone and to do stuff. He was nailing this.

“That sounds like a great idea,” he agreed, smiling in return.

“Oh! Heck yeah!” Raph whooped. “Let's go!” he pulled the curtain open a little wider, and Leo followed him out. Probably to a training room of some sort.

Leo wouldn't mind some physical work, honestly. He’ll start getting agitated if his only work-out was his own morning stretches and patrol. He hoped his schedule had a little more than just that.

“Oh, wait, I think I forgot my water bottle in my room,” Raph mentioned, turning towards a different tunnel, one on the floor of Leo’s cell.

Leo didn't say anything, there wasn't anything calling for his commentary, just followed along.

To...

...A-another– another cell.

He stopped in front of it. Watched Raph open its curtain—red—and look around for his water bottle.

The cell was... just the right balance between small and large, not restricting (enough for Big Red, haha), but cozy. Red sheets. All kinds of clothes, but most prevalent—red. A whole heaping pile of all types of plush toys. Rafts with trinkets and action figures. A skateboard. Posters on the walls. A rug.

Leo stared at it all, entirely uncomprehending.

“Oh here it is!” Raph exclaimed, picking up his water bottle. It was made of metal, red and black.

“Wh– huh...?” Leo breathed, to himself, still staring at the sight in front of him.

He, he didn't... he didn't understand.

He didn't understand.

Why was Raph in a cell? What did he do??? Who was above him in authority to put him there??? Why was it so... full? It was downright cluttered, in a way that spoke of so much use, so much... attachment.

Leo– Leo didn't understand.

If Raph—the older brother, their leader, a certified OG part of the family—was in a cell... what were the hopes of Leo getting a room?

“Leo?” Raph asked, and Leo blinked, and fuck, his smile had fallen, his smile never fell, his smile wasn't supposed to fall.

“Yeah?”

“You good?” Raph was looking at him.

“Totes,” Leo reassured, even though inwardly, he felt his heartbeat had picked up and his thoughts were a hurricane.

“Uh... o... kay then,” Raph accepted. “Let's roll!” he moved in the direction of the training room.

Leo’s stare lingered on the red-themed cell for a few moments longer.

He forced his legs to follow after Raph.

He had to keep his cool. He had to be normal.

He would simply find a way to ask without directly asking.

—

Training was going pretty well! At some point, Donnie and Mikey even joined them, just to hang out!

And it really was more like hanging out than anything. Leo initially expected it to be more like his martial arts lessons, but while Raph did take it pretty seriously, it was nowhere near that.

Most of it came from the fact that... well. It felt like Raph was treating him as an equal, rather than a student. He was asking for Leo’s technique just as much as he showed Leo his own cool moves. He corrected Leo kindly, rather than with disapproval or disappointment or irritation. He didn't want to hurt Leo, which was a little crazy, considering they were training to fight.

But that's the thing. With Raph, it didn't feel like they were fighting against one another. It felt like they were doing this together. Like they were both students, and they were each other’s tutors, all at the same time.

And they also chatted and made jokes. Raph was really fun to tease, Leo was finding. He had to be careful not to get too comfortable and cross any lines, but that hadn't happened so far, even if Leo felt like he was really pushing his audacity with some comments, haha.

It was awesome.

...Hoooweveeer.

He didn't find a convenient spot to ask his question. Aaand now Donnie and Mikey were here too, even though they weren't taking part in training. Literally just hanging around for company.

Impeccable vibes, so-so atmosphere for risky questions. Now this might actually cross a line.

That's fine. Leo just had to be casual. Project that it wasn't a big deal, just a little question, same weight as asking “Oh did you step backwards before doing that spin-kick?” and no more. No big deal, you know? Just plain ol’ curiosity. Neutral information exchange, and then move on.

“Yeah, I learned that from Ghostbear too!” Raph exclaimed, showing him a cool trick to pinning an opponent. Leo dusted himself off as he was released, settling back into a stance, to try and replicate it as was their rhythm.

“Oooh, nice,” he hummed. Raph liked wrestling, specifically that Ghostbear guy.

“Yeah!! Although he’s kind of a cheater, he still has some real technical ability that you can learn from!!” Raph was smiling, also in a readied stance.

There.

Leo snorted, “Is that what got you Cell Time?” he said in a joking tone.

Raph blinked. “Huh?”

Roll with it. “No? Something else?” Leo metaphorically poked like he was just teasing.

“What do you mean?” Raph asked, and his stance un-readied itself though he still held it. Okay then, Leo paused too, wouldn't wanna take him off-guard. Which was also weird—usually he’d take any openings. That's what he’s always been taught.

“You know,” he shrugged, still keeping it lightly, “Your cell? I mean, you're the leader, right? Boss man?” Leo teased, “What landed you in there?”

“...Raph is so confused right now,” the big guy confessed.

“Cell? What cell?” Donnie spoke up. Great, him and Mikey were looking at them weirdly too. Damn it. Gah. No no no. This wasn't going great, abort mission, play it off.

“Nevermind,” Leo shrugged, rolling his eyes, still smiling as always. “A man’s Cell-Time-deserving crimes are his and his only,” he joked, once again taking up a stance to continue with training.

“Cell time?” Mikey echoed.

Tthhheeeyyy weren't moving on from it. Hm. That, that’s, okay. Interesting. Did Leo stumble upon yet another Jitsu quirk?

“Yeeeahhh? Cell time,” he said easily. “When you spend time in your cell? Anyway,” he once again tried to redirect the moment away from it. He didn't like talking about Cell Time. It was, frankly, a little embarrassing. It's not something you bring up in conversation. Bad image. That must be Leo’s mistake here, and the reason why they were making it into A Thing.

Donnie cleared his throat, while the other two had... uh... not great expressions on their faces. For some reason. They didn't look judgemental or disgusted or anything though... Leo wasn't... quite sure what their expressions were.

“Is that... something that... happened a lot to you?” Donnie asked, in a careful sort of tone.

And like... what?

They literally put him in a cell first thing upon arrival. Raph was in a cell, and by the look of it, it wasn't the first time at all.

“I mean, not a lot,” Leo chuckled. That would imply he behaved terribly. And– okay, he wasn't the best at behaving, you can't internalize “take from the world exactly what you want and nothing less” and not have a large degree of Do-What-I-Want attitude, but he wasn't badly behaved. He’d say he was quite good, actually. He learned to be good at it. “Definitely not that much more than everyone else, huh?” he joked.

“Aha. Right.” Donnie coughed.

“Leo...” Mikey said and– why did he sound sad??? Leo was really confused right now. The Splintersons were confusing him. Maybe more than ever.

“And you think Raph was put in one at some point?�� Donnie asked for clarification.

“Either that or he has a weird place to store his water bottles,” Leo joked.

Raph gaped and his expression shattered.

“You think my room is a cell?” he said in a high-pitched, strained voice. He sounded crushed.

Leo– Leo was lost. What?

“Your room?” he carefully kept his own expression away from a frown.

Raph nodded, and everyone was looking at him with shattered expressions now.

“Did you think that... that your room...” even Donnie looked upset.

“Did you think we put you in a cell?!” Mikey exclaimed, incredulous and devastated.

Leo didn't know how to respond to that.

Was it... not... a cell...?

That... but that couldn't be right. Looking past the lack of windows (they were technically in the sewers), there was no proper door, the walls were rough, it had minimal interior design, etcetera? How could that be a room???

His mental scripts were entirely failing him right now. He had to improvise and he had to do it well. But it was really hard to improvise when he was clueless as to where he’d messed up.

All over again, he was a little child trapped in a cell, wailing and banging on the door that he’s sorry! and that he wouldn't do it again, ignorant that it was his wailing that he was being punished for. It was always hard to better his behavior when he didn't even know what he was supposed to better.

“Leo, we’d never put you in a cell,” Raph stated, strangled with shock.

“Why did you think it was a cell? What made it seem like a cell? Are you still missing furniture? Is it too cold? What– why–” Donnie was frantically tapping away at his phone, for some reason.

“Leo,” Mikey stepped forward, him and his sad eyes. “You know we love you, right? You're our brother! You're a Mad Dog now, boy!” he exclaimed, “You know we wouldn't do that to you, right?”

Leo just didn't know how to respond. He just smiled and kept smiling.

There was a little child inside him, a little child crying and banging on the door of a constantly locked room, like a little fly struggling inside a web, screaming no no no it's a trap it's always a trap.

“Of course,” he said, smiling, nodding. “You guys have been nothing less than fantastic.”

Mikey somehow got even sadder at that.

Outwardly, Leo kept his composure.

Inwardly, Leo was frantically slamming all the bright red buttons. Everything about this situation was wrong, he’d messed up bad bad bad. If he wasn't punished before he would surely be punished now, he didn't want to, he didn't want to.

He’d been trying so so so hard, to be good, to be perfect, to figure it all out, but like a freaking DUNCE he just HAD to go and shove hisfoot in his mouth! Idiot! He could NOT have been a bigger clown, his image was in tatters–

He’d been trying so. Hard.

...It's not over yet. He could salvage this, he had to salvage this, damage control scripts engaged. Clean this mess UP.

“I’m sorry,” Leo cut off whatever was about to be said next because it would surely make this all worse. Even though interrupting others is rude, bad manners, bad image, bad bad bad– “I did not mean to insult you, you have been stellar hosts. I am more than satisfied with what you have generously provided me,” smile, calm, placating, well-mannered, well-behaved– “My words weren't intended to imply anything negative. Any line I have crossed was not out of malice or lack of appreciation, merely ignorance oof–” a box turtle crashed into him, cutting him off.

Mikey wrapped his arms around him, squeezing tightly. And Leo’s heart was beating too hard, and he worried Mikey could hear it like that and Leo couldn't hide it–

Raph picked them both up, just like that, easy-peasy, and started walking somewhere. Donnie quickly following next to him, muttering under his breath.

And for a moment, Leo’s heart beat even harder, and he panicked. Despite the Mikey latched onto him, Leo thought, this is it, I've crossed too many lines, their patience has ran thin.

For a moment, he thought now I will be punished.

And for a moment, he thought something much, much worse—now they're going to kick me out.

“I’m sorry,” crawled out of his throat, trying to look between all the brothers with wide eyes, to gauge their state, to, to figure something out. He didn't want to leave, he didn't want to lose them, he didn't want to have to return to Big Mama, please, he didn't want to. “I’m sorry, my apologies, I-I just misunderstood, I insist–” stuttering, stammering, pitiful mess. Inelegant and disorganized and who would want this?!

Mikey tightened his embrace, letting out a high sound.

“Leo, it’s okay,” he insisted, and Leo didn't understand, he didn't understand.

“I don't understand,” Leo’s voice wavered, lost and cracking and desperate. A mess, uncontrolled, unable to cover up his weakness, stupid reactive bad–

“This is my room.” Raph held Leo up in front of the– the– his room, apparently.

It was only due to years of conditioning that Leo didn't cry. I know, I get it, I messed up, you don't have to rub it in, something petulant inside him begged.

But Raph kept carrying him, his walk brisque.

“This is Mikey’s room.” was the next destination, an orange curtain pulled to the side to reveal...

...What Leo would've assumed to be another cell, but he was wrong, he was wrong. So what did he know? Nothing. Clueless little child, doesn't know how the world works, will be eaten alive.

The– the room was well-sized, like the other one. There was a hammock. A big mirror. Paint tubes and spray cans rolling around the floor or organized in boxes. Scattered brushes and pencils, worn clothes, blankets and pillows in many colors. Cutesy lines of fairy lights. Trinkets and toys.

A space that was lived in. A space that was clearly occupied constantly. A space that was shaped through years of use to be cozy and familiar and fun. Leo was so stupid. How could he ever think this was a–

Raph was walking again, and Leo dreaded the next destination. He knew what followed.

“This is Donnie’s room.” and finally Leo was put on his feet.

He was a beloved Battle Nexus star. He’s brute-forced himself through terrible injuries, blinding he crowds with his smile even as blood dribbled down his chin. He was a master at sauntering with a broken leg.

And yet, Leo nearly swayed. And not because of Mikey’s weight. Come to think of it, the roaring in his head didn't feel too unlike a Nexus audience on his worse days. Loud and incoherent and distracting, making everything a little blurry and very overwhelming.

His smile was a trained muscle.

Donnie’s room was the largest. Likely because it didn't stop at his room, but continued into another space, which was his lab.

Leo had literally already been here before. They'd just entered through the laboratory’s second entrance. The one that connected it to the second floor of their Lair.

He hadn't even thought about– he hadn't thought–

“I’m sorry,” Leo whispered. The stupid child in him wanted to collapse to the ground and start screeching, bang his head against the floor until it stopped being broken and useless.

He wasn't doing anything right! He was just– mechanically apologizing! He was supposed to pay attention, to think, to fix this! Not, not just... stare and have an internal tantrum! Gah!

Say something worthwhile. Do something worthwhile.

Be worth something.

Donnie stormed off, and Leo’s traitorous heart was aching in its rampant beating. He was frozen in order to perserve the shreds of his composure. He was breathing far too steadily, which was telling enough.

He wanted to cry. Crying was one of the worst options right now.

...Unless.

Unless... Leo could guilt trip them. They were Splintersons, they weren't Big Mama, right? They said they operated differently, right?

They were so emotional. So kind and empathetic. So genuine. They were good.

Leo could absolutely guilt trip them.

He just– he just needed to let out the cry building up in his throat. Needed to let the tears burst through.

...Why... why couldn't Leo cry?

He couldn't cry.

...That's fine, that's fine, he's a performer, he can fake it.

“Leo, I’m not–” Raph put a hand on Leo’s shoulder, turning him so they were face to face and Raph’s expression was visible. Wide-eyed, a chasm in his forehead, wet.

“I’m sorry,” Leo declared, ugly and wet, face twisted, and Raph physically recoiled in sheer surprise.

“No, you don't have t–!”

“I’m sorry, please don't kick me out, you guys are just so good and I messed up and I didn't mean to and I’m just so stupid and–!” it was a very ugly act, words unclear and snively. The kind of tantrum you'd get beaten for, or be locked in your room with no dinner.

By the distraught look on Raph’s face, it might be working. Even Mikey unlatched himself from the hug (and Leo ached) to observe Leo’s performance, shocked.

Right. They... they've never seen him emotional. Well, certainly not like this. Leo just– he didn't usually engage with people on whom guilt tripping would be effective!

But he knows how to do it. Quite well.

Even if the desperate need to break down into tears just refused to surface, for some reason. All these years being beaten over the head to stop all this crying, and NOW he can't cry?! Psh. Of course.

“Kick you– Leo we're not kicking you out, what–?” Mikey gaped.

“It’s okay, Leo, hey, it’s okay, just calm down,” Raph placated. “You didn't do anything wrong, it’s okay!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Leo sniffed loudly, miming rubbing his face like he’d teared up.

“You don't need to apologize! It’s okay!” Mikey joined the insistence, both of them hovering over him. Oh yeah baby, just like Big Mama’s minions hovering over her dramatic demands. Woe is little Leonardo.

Okay, note to self, guilt tripping absolutely works on the Jitsus.

“Raph is really sorry for overwhelming you!” Raph exclaimed, wringing his hands. “I, I just– I wanted to show you– to show you! You know? That I wasn't like, lying or, or tricking you or something!” the poor guy explained.

“Man, why didn't you mention something? You just– accepted being in what you thought was a cell?” Mikey was very saddened by this.

“I didn't see anything wrong with it?” Leo said, now calmer after he regained the reins of the conversation. “I mean, I’m new. Makes sense there will be a trial period,” he chuckled.

Both brothers looked like they wanted to burst into tears.

“No,” Mikey’s voice cracked. “No, it doesn't make sense! This isn't, this isn’t–!”

“This ain't just a team, Leo!” Raph sniffed. “We're a family! And you're one of us, you're family!”

Leo would cry all the tears he must to make that happen.

And then Donnie returned.

And Donnie shoved something in Leo’s hands.

And Leo felt calmer now. He felt like he could get things under his grasp now.

All of that crashed when he looked at the small ball of blue cloth in his hands.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, and I could be wrong,” Donnie fidgeted, a little awkward, “but from my observations, you... I thought blue would fit.”

Leo stared, completely thrown back.

Leo slowly unfurled the strip of cloth.

“And we’d have to make additional alterations to ensure it will not shrivel up or fray,” Donnie added. “But I– I think it's pretty good, for the short notice,”

…A mask.

A bandana, a headband, a, a– like theirs.

It was cut like Mikey’s. It was long like Raph’s. Donnie seemed to have cut it himself.

And it wasn't red. It wasn't black or white, or something neutral like gray or brown.

It was blue.

Blue, blue, blue. A really, really nice shade of blue. Right now, maybe Leo’s favorite blue.

“You're one of us now,” Donnie said quietly, a hand on Leo’s shoulder.

“You're part of the team!” Raph insisted, his hand on Leo’s other shoulder.

“You’re our brother,” Mikey crushed him in a hug again. Raph followed his example and dragged them all into his expansive embrace.

Leo– Leo has never been part of a family group hug before. And not just because he never had the family for it.

Big Mama wasn't really into hugs. And when she dished one out, it wasn't... warm, personal, affectionate. Not really. Not truly. Never.

Not... not like this.

The blue mask was still held (clutched, really) in Leo’s hand. And Leo was held in–

In... in his brothers’ arms.

Oh. Oh.

His brothers.

They– they–

“And you're our equal,” Donnie vehemently insisted into the hold that was crushing him just a little. “This isn't a trick or, or manipulation, I have no ulterior motive or secret gain, I'm not doing this for kicks, you're not below us and we are not above you, you're our equal, okay? Am I missing something?” Donnie rambled, like he was trying to tick off all boxes. Like he was making a contract and was trying to dodge any and all possible loopholes.

“And it's not a hypothetical and there's no hidden strings attached! And you don't have to put up with unpleasant stuff or prove yourself!” Mikey joined him. “And you don't have to act or lie or... change yourself so we like you ‘cause we already do!!!”

“You’re family, we love you–!!!” Raph exclaimed.

“Okay, okay!” Leo laughed, though it was a little too quivery, raising a hand to–

–to wipe off his face.

...What?

…When did he start crying?

What??? Leo stared at his hand, with the teensy spot of wet from the tear.

Oh no, oh no was he ruining the moment? He totally ruined it, he–

–Mikey grabbed his hand and gently pulled it away.

“I’m crying too,” he giggled, “It's a Mad Dog thing,”

The sentence rang and looped in Leo’s brain.

I’m crying too. It's a Mad Dog thing.

Oh, oh he was crying more now. Yikes.

It still made him feel panicky and wrong. It was the destabilization of his breathing, blinking his eyes to clear up his vision, a warmth, the way the tears tickled his cheeks.

But he was laughing. Shaky and wet, he was laughing.

It built off of Mikey’s giggle, and then Raph also snorted and then he was laughing too. And it was so ridiculous, it just made Leo cackle more.

Heck, even Donnie huffed, cracked up by the absurdity, and then they were all just snorting and chuckling in a group hug. Like a bunch of weirdos.

And with it all, Leo felt so ridiculously light. So warm. There was a warm buzzing within him, like pins and needles.

Love love, or whatever, haha.

“I haven't even put the mask on yet,” Leo pointed out, and with a couple “Oh right–” and “Whoops!” and such the group hug disbanded.

Leo unfurled the blue cloth. There were even two holes for the eyes. How stupid would it be if they didn't fit, hah?

The others looked at him with anticipation. Excitement. Giddiness, even.

Leo lifted the mask, and tied it at the back with a double knot.

It fit perfectly.

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