#pissed me off everytime I saw that they still hadn't changed it

[whatever-letmebe]

love how they couldn't be bothered to include a gender neutral option but made sure to offer Doctors and Professors the option to be addressed properly. also "Fräulein" for unmarried, child-less women is so outdated wtf, that was removed on German forms 50 years ago (in 1971 to be exact)

I had to choose one of these options btw, it was a required field

[orions-choker]

+:★:+* Chapter Three: Jump In The Fire +:★:+*

The MetalliMansion was a shit show, no matter how much Y/N attempted to keep it clean it was always riddled with empty beer cans, cigarette butts and an unfortunate amount of playboy magazines. The only reprieve Y/N had was in her own room. Clean and organized, posters and collectibles in neat displays.

“God you guys are fucking disgusting.” She groaned, stepping over spilt beer in the kitchen as she rummaged in the cupboards for cereal. “Clean up after yourselves you pigs.” Her nose crinkled in disgust.

From the couch Lars called out. “Dont like it find your own fuckin’ place, I still don't remember agreeing to let you live here.” There was no malice in his words. Infact as Y/N peaked her head around the corner to glare at him he smiled brightly back at her.

She flipped him off, sticking her tongue out. “That's why you're my least favorite.” She teased. Bowl of cereal in hand she sat beside Lars on the old couch, stretching her legs across him. “Remote.” She mumbled around a mouthful of her food, hand outstretched.

“Do they not teach you manners here in America, fuck.” He placed the remote in her hand anyways. She dug her heels into his legs in retaliation. Grinning at the way he winced. “Bitch.”

The television changed to cartoons, Mighty Mouse. “You fuckin’ love me shut up.” She smiled at him. When she didn't hear him protest she took it as a victory. Lars fell back asleep shortly after that, never one to be up early anyways.

Behind her she could hear the groggy mumblings of her brother and Cliff. “Morning!” She called out cheerily. The responses she got back were less than enthused. “You guys have a flight to catch in the afternoon don't you? Get your shit together.”

The boys were flying out to Denmark to record their next album. It frightened her to be alone now. She had been with everyone for a year now, ever since their first tour she hadn't left their sides. She couldn't go with them this time. Someone had to stay behind and take care of the house, pay the bills.

“Flights not till four.” James grumbled at his younger sister, sitting down with a coffee in hand.

“And it is currently one, airports an hour away dude.” She pushed his head to the side affectionately. “I work in an hour so i'm not gonna see you guys off.” She frowned.

Kirk stumbled into the living room next, his hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, glasses crooked on his face. Y/N stood up with her empty bowl and straightened the eyeware on his face before walking past him to the kitchen. “You're not gonna be there?” Kirk mumbled at her, sleep and disappointment laced in his voice.

Y/N shook her head. “Sorry Kirky, it's Sunday, happy hour starts early at the bar today for all the old people.” She sighed. She didn't want to miss seeing them leave either. Knowing she would come home to an empty house after her shift made her feel empty. “I'll miss you though, all of you.”

Cliff's presence was beside her, pulling her into a warm half hug. “Just a month, we'll be back before you know it.” He comforted her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before moving to grab his own cup of coffee. It brought a smile to her face again.

She had gained two extra brothers, Cliff and Lars. As much as the latter pissed her off she loved him all the same. She made a point to not include Kirk in her affections the same way, the desire that burned beneath her skin when she saw him wouldn't allow her.

“A month of peace might actually be nice.” She grinned, she didn't mean it and they knew that.

“A month without your best friend? Sounds lame.” Kirk's voice was still heavy with sleep, his voice just slightly deeper though still tinged with that same boyishness she was used to. “Who's gonna watch Evil Dead with you repeatedly?”

Best friend, she wasn’t sure when that title came into effect. She wasn’t completely upset about it, though some part of her ached everytime Kirk called her that. Y/N had made her peace with the desperation she felt to be more than just his friend. But it was true all the same he had become her best friend, not that there was any competition.

Her eyes glinted with something wicked. “Hmm doesn't really matter, I can always find someone else.” She shrugged nonchalantly, reveling in the faux hurt on Kirk’s face. “Be right back!” She giggled, quickly running up the stairs before Kirk shook the sleep from himself and chased her.

She had started working at the bar just down the road as soon as they got back from tour. She found it ironic, the way she was unable to drink alcohol at her age, but be a waitress and serve it? That was totally fine. Halfheartedly she got ready for work, her hair was growing out now, finally long enough to pull back into a ponytail without loose strands. She pushed her bangs from her face and did minimal makeup. She found she got better tips from creepy old men when her face looked ‘fresh’. Her uniform was nothing more than a black collared shirt and matching pencil skirt. She didn’t think it did much for her in terms of looks but the eyes on her said otherwise.

Skipping down the stairs two at a time, Y/N grabbed her purse hanging by the door. The boys all sat in the living room, more alert and more dressed. She smiled fondly at the sight of all of them. “I have to get going now, you guys are going to call me tonight when you make it to where you're staying right?” She asked stepping forward to give them each a hug.

She lingered the longest on her brother and Kirk before pulling away. “Yeah of course.” James assured her with a smile. “Aaaand we will call you at least twice a week, blah blah.” He made fun of her worries.

“God forbid I care about you fucks and don’t want you like dying when your like a million miles away.” Her top lip curled into a snarl as she kicked at James’s leg.

“So it would be okay if we died here?” Kirk asked, provoking further.

“Yes because then at least I could kick the shit out of your guy’s bodies for being fucking idiots.” She growled and lunged to attack him next.

Kirk quickly sidestepped her attempt with a laugh, reaching to pull her into another bear hug and trapping her arms beside her. “Don’t worry I could never die and leave you alone.” He whispered into her ear, low enough that no one else could hear. It sent goosebumps down her skin, her body stiffening in his hold before she quickly pulled herself away.

With a groan she gave her final goodbye. “Ugh I hate you guys, be safe.” The door closed behind her as she stepped into the slightly cooler California winter, nowhere near cold enough to bother with a jacket. The walk to her work was a short one, part of the reason she applied there in the first place.

The bar was old, run down, certainly not a hot spot for nightlife activity. Most of the patrons were older folk, making it easy not to deal with young drunk assholes, and she made great tips from old men with lingering eyes. She liked Sundays. It was an early start and dead at night, meaning she got cut quickly and could go home early.

“Hey Y/N.” From behind the bar a young woman greeted her, punctuating her sentence with a pop from her lips as she smacked gum between her teeth. Steph was a couple years older than her, just 21 and the bartender at her work. She was cute, tall and lean, long black hair and pretty dark eyes. She was a favorite for people to look at, including Y/N. Despite her interests in a certain curly haired guitarist Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed to find out Steph had a boyfriend.

Y/N smiled brightly, excited to see they were working the shift together today. “Hey Steph! How’s it been today?” She asked sweetly, sliding behind the bar to set her stuff down and relax for a moment.

“Oh the usual, we’ve had two customers all day but we should get a rush here in a second.” She waved her well manicured hand, dismissing the small talk. “So your brother is in that band Metallica? Right?” She asked, a surprising amount of intrigue in her voice.

Confused Y/N nodded. As far as she was aware Steph really only listened to music like Bauhaus and The Cure. “Oh James? Yeah he is.” Y/N tied her apron tight around her waist. “Why? Have a sudden interest in thrash metal?” She joked.

Steph shook her head with a giggle “Oh god no, thank you.” Her face scrunched up in playful disgust. They might not share the same music taste but the two girls had become fast buddies at work. “My boyfriend is though! and I heard him talking about them the other day, said they were probably gonna get really big here soon and I remembered you mentioning your brother.” She explained.

Y/N’s heart swelled with pride. She knew the band was great of course, but she may or may not have been a bit biased. Hearing of the boy's success and more people talking about them excited her. She nodded, a blush coming to her cheeks. “Yeah they kick ass, glad your boyfriend thinks so too.” She grabbed her notepad and pen, tucking it into her pocket.

She felt as if she was on air the rest of the evening, floating from table to table as she served her regulars. Just as she had hoped she had been sent home around Seven, a couple hours earlier than she had been scheduled for. Making more than enough tips she was eager to leave.

The walk home was interrupted by a quick stop to the gas station across the street from her work. Grabbing a slush and a bag of mixed candy, she was set for the evening now. The walk home was slightly more chilled with the mixture of sweet ice on her lips. The sweets did little to ease the empty ache in her heart as she returned home to silence. The boys did their best to clean up after themselves and it brought a smile to her face.

The couch felt too big and empty as she lay across it alone, flipping the channel to a random network that was playing back to back B-Rate horror films. She assumed they should be landing soon, it was a ten hour flight. She would wait to go to bed until she got their call.

It was about halfway into the second movie she was watching when the worn out phone on the side table rang. Y/N smashed her knees on the ground, tumbling from the couch and crawling toward the phone. She was out of breath, voice laced with excitement as she picked up the call.

“Hello!”

“Hey Princess.” the groggy voice of her older brother came crackling through the phone. “We made it safe.”

Y/N sighed in relief. “Oh good, you made it to a hotel?” She asked balancing the phone between her ear and her shoulder.

There was an annoyed grunt over the phone. “No, were sleeping at the fucking studio on the floor, lars the prick is staying with family and wouldn't let us tag along.” James was tired and pissed, Y/N didn't want to press the issue any further, she didn't have to when she heard a familiar voice muffled in the background.

“Let me talk to her, move.” Kirk sounded more energetic than her brother as he overtook the phone. “Dont worry about us though Y/N, we'll be fine.” He instantly reassured her. It brought a dumb smile to her face knowing how well he knew her.

“Thanks Kirky, you guys should get to bed then.” She reminded them fondly, her finger twirling in the cord of the phone as she reveled in the comforting sound of Kirk's voice. “I love you guys.”

The was a stark silence for a moment, Kirk's heavy breathing the only noise that could be heard. “I- we love you too Y/N, talk to you tomorrow I promise.” There was a click, then silence, then the static of a dead phone line.

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 7

A/N- I'm back! At least I think I am 😂 I wrote this while I was struggling with writer's block so I don't think it's great but the next chapter I'm working on I feel back to the old me 🥳🤞

Summary- Are your lies finally going to catch up to you?

Word count- 2.8K

Pairing- Chris Hems x reader x Liam Hems

Warnings- Mature themes, cheating, swearing, smut

Strictly 18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 2nd Sept 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle

The Destructive Secret Masterlist <

The guy turned to leave before looking back over his shoulder at the door, his hand on the door handle.

"If it makes any difference I would choose you over your brother any day." He winked as he left the room.

"What the actual fuck." You shout, storming out of the bathroom in a huff. "There's no way he's gunna stay quiet, it'll be all over the press come tomorrow." You paced the room, your heart beating fast as the adrenaline rushed through you. This was it, this was how it was all going to end. Liam would know as soon as he saw the headlines, all those late night and weekend conferences at the same time as Chris was conveniently away with work.

"To be fair, he does have good taste in men." Chris' usual nonchalance annoyed you, how come he could stay so calm? Why did he make you sound like a crazy person for actually worrying about what might happen.

"It's really not funny Chris, do you want our business known by strangers before we even have chance to speak to Liam and your Mom Chris, she's going to hate me." You feel the warm tears dripping down your cheeks before you even register you're crying. The thought of their mom hating you upsets you more than the thought of Liam hating you. Cathy, their mom was like your own mother, from day one she'd taken you under her wing.

"My Mom would love you no matter what, you know she thinks of you as her own daughter. It's me she's going to blame, Liam's her baby." 

"Yeah you're probably right but still what are we gunna do?" 

"Let's relax babe, you don't know what's going to happen and you can't change it if it does happen so what's the use in worrying about it. Come here."

"You piss me off Chris, you're so laid back. This isn't something you can just sweep under the carpet. It's serious." You needed to take your anger out on him, to let it all out so you could feel better. The four walls of the hotel room were becoming claustrophobic, you wish you could just put your headphones on and just run for a while to clear your head, that's what you usually did.

"I know it is but what can we do? I've done everything we can do, now it's out of our hands. We'll work it out tomorrow, can we enjoy our last night together without all the serious talk?" He raises his eyebrow at you, smiling that sweet, goofy smile of his that has your heart melting.

"You piss me off even more when you look at me like that. I can't stay mad at you and how could I say no to that?" You put your arms around his back, loving the way his height makes you feel so small and safe. He wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair and holding you close.

"That's why I love you yanno." 

"Why?" You ask, looking up at him through your eyelashes, your neck stretching to reach his height.

"Because you never say no." He laughs, a real laugh that you can feel on his toned stomach, shaking against you. It was the best feeling hearing him laugh like that, it'd been so long since you'd heard him laugh. Your life being full of a lot of drama and upset recently that you were appreciative of the little time you had left together.

"Maybe I should start then." You pout pretending to sulk.

"No way, I love how easy you are." He picks you up so you can wrap your legs around him, looking down on him for once. You punch him lightly on his shoulder, still pouting. "Ok, ok I'll stop teasing. You know why I love you though." 

"Tell me." 

He sits down on the end of the bed with you still in his arms, resting on his great big, thick thighs. He moves your hair behind your ears so he can see your face, studying it carefully with a look of adoration in his eyes.

"I love you because you're absolutely drop dead gorgeous, I mean the first time I met you, you literally knocked the air from my lungs. I've been obsessed with you ever since." He shuffles slightly beneath you, getting himself comfy. "This would never have happened with just anyone, I'm not a dick that goes around sleeping with his brothers girls." You give him a questioning look, your eyebrows furrowing. "Seriously, it took fucking everything in me to try and resist you. I'd never felt that before, never been one of them that wants what they can't have. Until I met you. Fuck me you were an absolute bombshell." You frown at him. "Are, still are a bombshell, don't look at me like that." He laughs.

"Tell me more." You whisper, feeling yourself tear up at his revelations as you run your hand through his hair, his eyes closing as you do.

"Am I stroking your ego?" He smiles slyly. "Do you remember the first time you met me?" 

"Of course I do, me and Liam had already been together a year but you'd been in Australia. I was eighteen, young and dumb..."

"And full of..." 

"Do not even finish that sentence, you're ruining the moment." He laughs at you but quickly gets back to being serious.

"You were eighteen and ridiculously mature for your age, I was twenty six and still acted like a teenager. I remember you walking in in that little denim skirt and tank top, smiling at me with that beautiful smile. The first thing I noticed was your eyes, the way they lit up when you smiled. You had me right at that moment, I was smitten. Then you introduced yourself as Liam's girlfriend and my heart sank." 

"I can't believe you remembered what i was wearing, it was twelve years ago." You kiss his forehead, holding his face in your hands. So glad you had the opportunity to talk like this, knowing all this made you know you hadn't made a mistake. "I was so nervous walking up to you, I'd only ever seen you on photos and crushing on you when you were in home and away. Then you're there in front of me looking sexy as hell and I knew I had to make a good impression."

"Little did you know, five years later I'd be bending you over that table and giving you everything you'd been searching for?" He questioned, raising his eyebrow at you with a smirk.

"No, dick! Little did I know you'd sweep me off my feet and make me question everything I ever knew." 

"I am a dick but that's why you love me isn't it?"

"Your ego definitely doesn't need stroking. I fell in love with Liam when I was still a girl and I fell in love with you when I was a woman. People change, needs change and..." 

"And I give you everything you need." His hand travelled to your ass pulling you into him, pressing against his growing erection.

"You do, you need to work on your arrogance though." You laugh. "But seriously I'm done with all this now, we can't go on like this anymore. I want all of you, all of the time."

"So you've made your decision." His lips part, his head resting against your forehead.

"Was there ever any doubt?" You question, running your finger over his lip and grinding against him subtly making him groan.

"Fuck Y/N, I fucking love you so much it's crazy." He says through gritted teeth, holding the small of your back as you raise your hips, your face contorting with need. "What would you do if I asked you to marry me?" His hand travelled down the back of your shorts, cupping your ass in his hands.

"What do you think?" You tease, taking his bottom lip in your teeth and pulling gently.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking." His face was set seriously, he wasn't joking, he wanted to marry you.

"Of course I'd say yes, once we'd dealt with everything." You smile watching his face light up.

"You're going to be Mrs Hemsworth and mine, not Liam's. I can't fucking wait." He picks you up, gripping your ass making you squeel before planting you back on the bed on your back.

Leaning over you, his palm caressing your stomach, kneeding your breasts with his long fingers. His erection poking into your clothed heat.

"You're so fucking perfect, are you ready to cause destruction?" 

"Like now, in bed or?..." 

"You know what I mean." He laughs, reaching down to attach his lips to your neck, sucking gently.

"If it means I get you then yeah, I'm ready." 

"Right answer. You've made me the happiest fucking man in the world yanno?" His hand moves under your top, pushing it up to your chin as his lips finally meet yours. Kissing you deeply with everything he's got, your body rising from the bed to meet his.

"I think... I can... Make you even happier." You say between kisses, pushing down his boxers, your nails scratching his skin gently as you do. 

He rests on one elbow watching you free his cock from its barrier. You cup his balls in your hand, stroking along the length of his cock with the other. He groans, pushing himself into your hands.

"I'll be happier once I'm buried inside this perfect pussy." He kneels between your legs, pulling your panties off before hovering back over you.

"Go slow baby, I want to feel everything." You whisper.

"Fuck, I can't guarantee how long I'll last." He moans, lining himself up and slipping in making you both moan as his cock stretches your walls perfectly.

He rests on his elbows, holding your face in his hands as he gently thrusts into you, wrapping your legs around him and pushing him in further, deeper. Hitting your spot with the curl of his hips, agonisingly slowly. You look into each others eyes, his forehead resting against yours. Tears in your eyes from the intense intamacy.

"I love you Y/N." He declares gruffly, his voice deep with lust.

"I love you too." You whimper.

Moaning everytime his thighs connected with yours, flesh slapping together, bringing your hips up to meet him. Him grunting with every thrust, your sex noises filling the otherwise silent room. The sound like a symphony to your ears, turning you on even more to hear his exclamations of ecstacy.

"It's always been you Chris." You whisper, making his pace become sloppy, losing his composure and restraint at your words. You can see it on his face as it twists, his cock twitching inside of you.

"Come for me baby." He grits his teeth, the muscles in his jaw tightening as his body goes rigid.

"Ah fuck." He brings you over the edge with the last of his powerful thrusts, your legs shaking around him, the feeling of satisfaction melting through your body simultaneously. A proud look on his face as you both come together and he falls limply onto your sweat laced body.

You stay like that for a while, both enjoying the moment, his cock still twitching inside of you. The heaviness of his body burying you into the mattress but you don't complain.

You don't want him to move, you want to memorise the feel of his heaviness and how his cock feels inside of you. How his rough face feels against your smooth skin, his hair tickling under your chin. You trace the muscles on his back, the defined shoulders and lean waist. Your hands gripping his tight, round ass and you close your eyes, remembering every dip and ripple, dreading the thought of being without him in your arms for at least another couple of weeks.

"I don't know how I'm going to watch you walk away tomorrow." He rolls on to his side, pulling you into him. "I think that's the hardest thing to deal with out of everything."

"I was just thinking the same thing." You looked up at him through your eyelashes, your fingers brushing against his tight pecs. "You know we've been doing this for nearly 6 years now and I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do now. It's going to be even harder for me to leave this time." 

"I don't even want to think about it but we only have hours left together, what's our plan?" 

"You mean when and how do we tell Liam?" You ask sitting cross legged in the bed, reality kicking back in. You have to go home to Liam and leave Chris all over again, back to the lies and sneaking about.

"That and when am I going to be able to see you again? I don't want to wait as long as last time, you know how crazy i start getting when I don't see you." 

"We've got your cousin's wedding next week. I'll see you there." You risk a glance at him, pain set on his face.

"You'll see me but you'll be arm in arm with Liam and I'll be alone again." 

"How about once the weddings over and done with, we can tell Liam about us?" You watch his face change, like a little boy.

"A week? I can do that, I think. But I'm not going to the wedding alone." 

"What do you mean? A date? With who?" Panic laced in your voice.

"I don't know but I'm sure I won't be short of options." 

"Are you fucking with me? Liam thinks you're dating a married woman, where you going to find one of those?" 

"I don't know but I'm not turning up to a family party on my own again, my aunties can be fucking brutal." 

"Well don't expect to playing all happy families and me being all nice." You sulk.

"Are you jealous?" 

"Yeah, duhh."

"Come here." He pulls you into arms wrapping his legs around yours. Comfortable silence drifting over you both as he strokes your hair and you fall asleep in his arms.

***********

You wake up in the morning smiling, then remembering what day it is and that you have to leave to go back to boring reality and your smile fades. Chris stirring beside you, his muscly arm resting over your stomach, locking you in place.

"Chris, wake up." You whisper in his ear, admiring his sleepy, perfect face. "It's 9.30 we've gotta check out at 10." He makes an unrecognisable sound of exasperation, his eyes opening, puffy with sleep or lack of in this case.

"Aww man, can't we just stay in bed a little longer, I don't wanna let you go." 

"You need to go check out first so we don't leave the hotel at the same time." 

"Fuck sake. Back to reality it is then." He says all hint of jokiness gone from his tone as he sits up and rubs his eyes. 

"I'm afraid so, I need to go grab my things. Text me when you've left please." 

"Wow! I feel used, do I not even get a kiss before you run out on me?" 

"I was just dealing with the business before I dealt with the pleasure, like I'd just leave without giving you a kiss." You threw yourself on him, wrapping your legs around him as he leant against the headboard. Taking his lips in yours, open mouthed kisses that left you both breathless.

*****

You packed up the couple of things you'd actually taken out of your pull along suitcase, you'd spent most of the weekend naked or slobbing about in Chris' t-shirts so all your clothes were still folded and packed.

You were anxious about going home to Liam and having to pretend again, having to try and not slip up about where you'd actually been. You literally had to go through possible conversations in your mind, conjuring up imagined answers to Liam's possible questions so you didn't get caught out. It was hard work.

Then you got the text from Chris telling you he was out of the hotel and on the road back home, followed by how much of a good weekend he'd had and how much he loves you.

You couldn't help having a spring to your step as you walked through the lobby, a weekend full of love making and reminiscing would have that effect on anyone.

After you'd checked out, the anxiety set in, like stepping out of this hotel would be like stepping in to an alternate universe. A universe that wasn't simple and easy like it had been this weekend but stepping through those revolving doors would mean that will all end. This safe feeling of being alone, away from prying eyes would end as soon as you stepped foot outside and it did, a ominous feeling sweeping over you, goosebumps covering your flesh. Maybe you conjured up the feeling in your own mind, manifesting it into existence but you couldn't shake it.

A feeling of being watched, was it your imagination or not? You didn't know, all you knew was how much you wanted to get out of public and back home. As you stood in front of the hotel, picking up your suitcase to carry it down the stairs, something caught your eye. A flash. And then another flash coming from your peripheral.

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Negan keeps a close eye on his ex Deena after learning that the man she is currently with has a history of abuse.]

Negan and Deena PART TWO

Smut/drama/TW:physical abuse

"What do you wanna know about Michael?" Simon asked a bit confused as they stepped into his apartment.

"Everything. Anything you know."

"Well shit-" Simon scratched his head trying to make himself remember anything about this man on the spot.

"I dont know, I met him like a decade ago. I'd always see him at the Jackson bar on Friday nights. I dont think he has any kids. He used to date this one girl for a while but I dont know what happened with her. We used to hear rumors but-"

"What rumors?"

"I-I dont think they were true but-"

"What fucking rumors?"

"Some people used to say he'd smack his girlfriend around but I dont know man, I never saw any proof."

Negan knit his brow giving Simon a death stare.

"And you didnt think to tell me this after I told you the mother of my child was with this man?"

"Negan I-" before Simon could finish Negan grabbed him by the collar and gave him a hard shake.

"You didnt think to tell me my woman could be with someone dangerous!"

"Your woman? Negan I swear I didnt remember." Negan didnt respond staring at him for a moment before finally letting him go and taking a deep breath.

"What happened, did he do something to Deena?"

Negan sat down and ran his hands over his face in frustration.

"She wont tell me but I know something is not right."

"Shes not going to tell you, remember you're an asshole in her eyes so I doubt she'd tell you even if something was wrong." Simon lit up a cigarette leaning back on his chair.

"Listen, I may be an asshole but I never fucking touched Deena. I never lay a hand on her." Negans knee was shaking as he sat back and thought of what the truth could be, Simon had never seen him this concerned.

"Hey man, maybe its not even like that. You cant bombard her with it, you know how she is. She'll shut down. Just give it time, if something else looks weird, act on it but till then just wait cause we really dont know."

Negan knew Simon was right in a way. Deena wouldnt admit it even if it was true and he didnt have solid evidence.

Instead Negan was going to make it a habit now to show up more often to see Jack. Of course during his visits with Jack he'd make sure you were ok without asking you anything. He would just keep a closer eye on you.

As he planned, Negan showed up more throughout the week to see Jack. Everytime he had been there Michael wasnt there, yet he still noticed you keep to yourself more than usual. Of course you had to keep to yourself more, you didn't want to upset Michael again. Part of you knew your feelings were still strong for Negan but you didnt want to acknowledge it because of how much he had hurt you. Michael was someone new who you convinced to yourself wasnt that bad. You did call him another mans name, part of you was almost making yourself believe it was your fault what occured. Michael hadn't touched you since, as long as you didnt upset him you were fine is what you would tell yourself.

Negan was in the living room with Jack while you began cooking dinner for when Michael would arrive. You could hear Negan being playful with Jack, it was a sweet sound that made your heart flutter.

Negan sighed putting the baby down in his playpen before looking towards the kitchen. He walked in as you stirred the food, leaning his shoulder on the doorway watching you quietly cook.

"You look beautiful."

Your heart immediately began to race, trying not to put much thought to it or even look his way, you smiled.

"Thank you."

Negan slowly walked in to the kitchen looking around. He noticed some things had been changed from where you originally had them. He noticed something sitting beside the food pantry he hadn't noticed before.

"What's this?" Negan asked opening the box to find a stack of tools.

"Wait, Negan-" you ran to him taking the tool from his hand and putting it back in the box carefully.

"This is Michael's and he doesnt like it to be touched." Negans face quickly changed noticing how nervously you reacted.

"What does he live here now?"

"No. He just has some things here. That's all, just don't touch it please. Hes really picky with his things."

You walked back to the pot of food that was almost done cooking as Negan crossed his arms not taking his eyes off you. He had never seen you act this way before.

"You must really like this guy huh?" He asked just to see your reaction, he knew there was something more making you act this way.

"Mhm." You responded without making eye contact.

"Mhm." Negan pressed his lips together before you were both interrupted by the sound of the door unlocking.

"That must be Michael now."

"He has the fucking keys? Since when?"

"Negan please. I just gave it to him for today since I thought I was going to be alone with Jack." You quickly walked out to greet Michael at the door. The more Negan realized things, the more angrier he became. This man was trying to claim all of this as his. He was trying to gain a power over you and you couldnt see it.

Negan walked out of the kitchen to catch Michael with his lips on yours. Negan right away got a bad taste in his mouth at the sight before Michael looked up at him.

"Negan. I didnt know you were here."

"Yeah. Came by to check on my son and Deena. Have to make sure shes ok here by herself with him."

"Oh I'm sure I have a good watch on that." Michael quickly responded.

"Yeah well an extra eye doesnt hurt." Negan grinned trying to keep himself composed. The silence that followed made you anxious and uncomfortable.

"So are you ready for dinner?"

"Yes!" Both men eagerly responded at the same time, making you more anxious. It was clear these men did not like each other and had no problem in showing it.

Negan watched as Michael sat and let you serve him. He could tell you were nervous as you served his plate, of course you were. You had not expected Negan to stay for dinner.

"Thank you, baby." Michael said loudly as you turned to walk towards Negan with the food when he suddenly spanked your ass hard making you gasp. Negan grabbed his knee under the table hard, he knew Michael was doing this to purposely piss him off and boy was it working. As you were about to serve Negan he stood up and grabbed the pot of food from you.

"I got it, Dee. Sit down, shit you been on your feet all day."

"Dee? I've never heard anyone call her Dee." Michael cleared his throat looking up at Negan with a raised brow. Michael clearly didnt like the sound of the little nickname Negan had for you.

"Only I do. Old habit." Negan knew what he was doing and if Michael wanted to get under his skin, he knew how to get under his too. Taking a deep breath you sat down next to Jack, making sure he was comfortable in his high chair and began to eat. There was silence for a moment until Michael noticed the lid on his box of tools was not left the way he had left it the day before.

"What happened with my tool box?" Michael's question instantly made you nervous.

"Oh I-"

"That was me." Negan interrupted not liking the tone in his voice when he spoke to you.

"You let Negan touch my tool box?"

"She didnt let me touch anything. I thought it was something I had left here so I went to take a look." Negan responded confidently.

"I dont know why you would think anything here belongs to you, you dont live here."

"As far as I'm concerned, neither do you." Negan shot back.

"Ok stop." You spoke hesitantly as the men stared at each other angrily.

"Can we just enjoy dinner?"

The rest of the dinner was silent, you didn't make eye contact with either of the men. Negan stood up and was soon getting ready to leave. He leaned in beside you to give Jack a kiss. You could smell his scent close to you, Michael quietly stared at you as you stared down at your plate of food.

"Let me know if you need anything, Deena." You heard his voice close to your ear.

Negan walked out not liking the idea of him leaving you alone with Michael. In reality, what could he do without you acknowledging anything or him having proof? He would just look like a jealous man, which he could admit jealous he was. Negan left and you could feel Michael's eyes on you.

"I trust you to not let your ex touch my belongings or disrespect me."

"I told him not to touch it, Michael. I really did."

"Dont." He slammed his fist on the table making you jump. Jack began to cry making you quickly pull him out of his high chair and comfort him.

"Dont lie to me, Deena."

"Michael stop it. Im not lying to you and you're scaring Jack. You can leave." Surpsingly feeling a rush of courage when it came to Jack, you stood up with him in your arms and began to walk out the room until he unexpectedly grabbed your arm. You froze as he squeezed you and stood up staring down at you.

"Watch how you talk to me, baby."

"I said..you can leave." You felt yourself shaking as you stood your ground.

"Alright. You want me to leave? I'll leave." Michael responded calmly, a little too calm for comfort. He turned around and began to walk away making you let our a deep breath of relief when suddenly he turned around and smacked you across the face. You yelped as you fell hard to the floor holding Jack as tight as you could. Blocking his head from hitting anything you slammed your head on the bottom kitchen cabinet.

"Now I'll leave. You see what you do to yourself." Michael walked out slamming the door loudly as Jack cried loudly. Tears streaming down your eyes you cried with him.

"I'm so sorry." You whispered to Jack. Pushing yourself up off the floor you went to lock the door when Michael suddenly appeared again making you step back.

"Another thing, you tell Negan any of this I'll make sure you never see your son again. Remember my brother is a lawyer. He'll have you all fucked."

With those last words he walked out for a second time. Looking over at the table by the door you were relieved to see he had left the keys. Immediately you locked it, even clicking the bolt into place. Upset you walked up the stairs to run Jack a warm bath and calm him down. All you wanted was to call Negan to come over in that moment.

You took Jack a bath and put him to bed when you realized you had a text from Negan.

"Is jackass still around?" He texted making you chuckle softly.

"No. Alone now, baby just went to sleep." You responded in a text when suddenly you heard your phone begin to ring but when you checked, it wasnt a phone call.

Negan wanted to video call you. Your heart skipped a beat, he had never done this. What the hell was making him do it now.

You picked up the video call and found him staring very serious at the screen, he also look a bit tired.

"Figuring out your phone huh?" You teased.

"I wanted to see you." You watched as Negans eyes roamed over the screen taking a good look at you. Negan was doing everything he could to have a closer eye on you without you realizing it.

"Well you're seeing me." You responded with a smile but Negan could tell the smile didnt reach your eyes.

"I'm surprised the asshole didnt stay the night." Quickly, he saw you look away from the camera turning to the side. Looking to keep yourself occupied with something.

"Its fine. I wanted to be alone anyways."

"Guess he didn't like me being there for dinner." Negan chuckled to himself.

"He doesnt like alot of things." You muttered low.

"What do you see in that asshole, Deena?"

His sudden question caught you off guard but you didnt know how to respond.

"I know I wasnt the greatest to you but I see you with this guy and you're not you."

You stayed looking away from the camera as Negan quietly stared at you.

"Can we talk about something else?"

Negan heard a crack in your voice as you brushed your hand through your hair.

"What happened after I left, Deena?"

"Nothing happend after you-" cutting yourself off you looked up having heard a thump. Negan frowned wondering what caught your attention.

"What is it?"

You didnt respond as you slowly stood up and walked out of the room quickly checking on Jack. Thankfully he was fine and the main door was still locked. You sighed a breath of relief before getting back into your room and realizing you were becoming paranoid.

"I thought I heard something, it was just me." Negan could tell something was worrying you but you didnt want to admit what it was.

"You want me to come over, just to make sure everything is fine around the house?"

His offer made you quickly look back at him with some sort of relief in your eyes.

"I mean yes, maybe check the attic. Could be a pipe." You lied and he knew it. In all honesty you were just afraid with what had just happened with Michael. You felt paranoid about him showing up unexpectedly. Negan played along just wanting you to be comfortable and made his way to you. It was around ten at night, Negan never came over this late but you didnt mind it.Relieved to see Negan when you opened the door you let him in and quickly locked the door from top to bottom. You turned to find him staring at you strangely.

"Since when have you been using the bolt?"

Negan had placed the bolt for you a few years back but with all the locks on the door you had never used it. You never found it necessary.

"A habit I have now." You chuckled low as you walked past him. It did make you nervous that Negan was in your home, what if Michael found out in some kind of way? The thought of Michael turned your stomach.

"What did you want me to check out, doll?"

"Oh yeah, the attic. Maybe I heard the noise coming from there." Negan never seeming to be afraid of the unknown, pulled the ladder down and walked right up. It was hard not to admit to yourself that besides the differences you both have had, you could always count on him whenever you needed him.

"Just like I thought! Theres nothing up here." He yelled from the attic.

"You sure?"

"Shit, come see for yourself."

Negan chuckled as he came back down the ladder, you had always been afraid to go up to the attic alone.

"I know I heard something." You whispered as he made his way to you and leaned his face in close.

"You sure, sweetcheeks?" He teased making you chuckle. Negan loved teasing you, he always liked seeing you laugh.

"Oh stop." You playfully shoved him which only made him bounce back closer to you. The two of you stopped for a moment and stared into each others eyes. The thought of that kiss he gave you the last time made you shiver inside. But before he could reach in and kiss you, you quickly turned away. The strong pull you felt to him couldnt be denied but Michael...the thought of that man terrified you.

"Do you want a snack, I want a snack. I'll make us something quick." Negan watched as you flew down the stairs and scoffed shaking his head. He knew you wanted him just as bad.

As you reached into the cabinet Negan walked into the kitchen and leaned on the door way. You could feel his eyes on you, devouring you from head to toe.

"I know you dont give a shit about this guy." Negan spoke confidently as he slowly made his way to you. You didn't say a word knowing you couldnt react to him, thinking of the threat Michael made, you couldn't risk it.

"Fuck, Deena why do you let him control you like this?" Negan asked making you turn to him. He knew that would make you react which is what he wanted.

"He doesn't control me so quit assuming things."

"So then kiss me." He grinned as get got closer to you making you back up into corner.

"So what you're telling me to do is cheat on him."

"Oh is that what I said?" Negan chuckled with sarcasm.

"Figures you know, since you know so much about cheating yourself." You responded back with double the sarcasm making him laugh. You rolled your eyes pushing him aside but he blocked you with his arm. His expression suddenly turning more serious, he stared down at you not letting you pass him. His look was making you weak, your lips parted looking at his. You knew this wasn't right but the closer he got the more irresistible he became.

"I'm not going to kiss you." You whispered sounding anything but confident.

"Oh yeah? You sure about that?" He whispered in return wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you against him making you gasp.

"Now what was that you said, sweetheart?"

You were now speechless, how can you resist this man? You never stopped wanting him and he never had stopped wanting you. He leaned in and you instantly melted at the feel of his warm lips on yours. He felt your body fall into his as he passionately kissed you. He took your arms and wrapped them around his neck as he grabbed your ass with both hands.

"Negan..." you whispered into his lips.

"Hm? Tell me what you want, doll." He spoke slowly and erotically. Each word pulling at your heart strings.

"I want you." You whispered feeling him squeeze you harder when he suddenly lifted you up and sat you on the kitchen counter. You could hear him unbuckling his belt as he kissed you, his hands brushing up your thighs and pulling down your shorts and underwear. Your heart was racing. You swore this would never happen again but you didnt want him to stop. He pulled back for a moment and looked at you as he pulled you towards the edge of the counter. Negan wanted you to look directly at him as he entered you. Your arms and legs were wrapped around him as he pushed in forward, the both of you moaned simultaneously at the first feel of each other. It had been too long since he felt you and he didnt know how long he could control himself before exploding.

"Holy fuck." Negan muttered as he got into rythm. Aggresivly pulling off his shirt he threw it across the room. You moaned loudly as Negan broke out in a sweat, it took alot of him not to burst with each moan you let out. You screamed as you leaned your head back against the wall, fully exposing your neck. Negan wrapped one hand around your throat and gave you a hard squeeze as he moved faster. You squealed as he used the same hand to now grab your hair pulling it back hard.

"Negan!" You grabbed onto him tightly, the sound of your voice helpless calling for him made it hard for him to control himself any longer.

"Fuck, Deena- I cant fucking hold it-" before he could finish he groaned loudly letting himself explode within you. You moaned as he buried himself deeply, his body against yours. The two of you panting uncontrollably in each others arms.

"Negan." You whispered in a shakey voice before he pulled back and slowly pulled himself out.

"Fuck, I couldnt stop it." He spoke breathlessly falling back onto the chair behind him.

"You know how long I've been waiting for that." He chuckled making you laugh.

Jack had still been sleeping while you and Negan lay in bed under the covers. Your face on his chest as he rubbed your hair back gently. It was nice forgetting everything for just a moment until Negan rubbed over a certain part of your head making you lift your head up and wince.

"Ow."

"What's that?" Negan felt the bump on the back of your head and frowned. You knew the bump must've been from when you fell and hit your head on the cabinet. You weren't going to tell Negan this so you simply shrugged.

"I dont even know how that happened. These random bruises come out of nowhere. Dont you hate when that happens." You laughed nervously and lay your head back down. Negan stayed looking down at you not liking your response.

"You know you can tell me anything right, Dee?" You hesitantly lifted your head up and looked back at him.

"What would I need to tell you? What do you mean?" Negan didnt say a word for a moment but he knew he had to. He didnt know how you would react but he couldnt continue acting like he wasnt noticing certain things.

"What I mean is that ever since you began dating that fuck, Michael, you either have some new bruise or you're suddenly nervous with shit you never were nervous about before. I know you, Deena and you sure as fuck arent acting like yourself."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?!" You stood up quickly putting on your robe making Negan roll his eyes, he knew you would get defensive.

"Dee-" Negan tried to speak sitting up in the bed but you wouldnt let him.

"I dont know who the hell is putting this shit in your mind but leave it alone. Nobody is doing anything to me."

"Listen, I'm not trying to pick a god damn fight for fucksake." Negan got up and began to get dressed.

"Yeah? Well you are! Why dont you mind your business."

"You are my fucking business!" Negan yelled so loudly you were surprised Jack hadn't woken up.

"You know what, get out! This is why I never wanted to sleep with you again-" Negan scoffed in return.

"I beg to differ, sweetheart. With the way you felt you been wanting that just as much as I have." You stared at him in silence holding back your tears, you were not going to let him make you admit the truth.

"Get out and do me a favor dont come back unless it's to pick up Jack." You stormed out of the room making your way down the stairs to the kitchen. Negan cursed at himself angrily, the last thing he wanted to do was fight with you.

"Goddamn women." He muttered low, but he knew he had to approach this matter differently.

In the kitchen you quietly made yourself tea hearing him come down the stairs. He slowly made his way inside and leaned back on the counter beside you but you wouldnt look his way.

"Did he threaten you?" Negan asked with his arms crossed looking at the ground. Feeling a knot in your throat you couldnt respond, your silence spoke for itself making Negan look over at you.

"That son of a-"

"Negan please."

"Tell me the truth, Deena. He fucking hits you doesnt he?" His voice was stern, his eyes darkened as he looked down at you.

"It was my fault, Negan-" you cried out as Negan turned and punched the concrete wall behind him. The anger in him rising rapidly, he didnt even feel the effect on his knuckles.

"I'll kill him! I swear to God I'll fucking kill him."

"Negan, please you cant tell him anything. Please..."

"Oh for fuck sake, Deena! What the fuck does he have over you?! What is he threatening you with?!"

Negan stared down at you silently, his breathing was heavy, he studied the look in your eyes when it suddenly clicked.

"Jack." He whispered and all he saw was red. Negan quickly charged for the front door as you ran after him catching up before he could leave, you blocked the entrance.

"Negan, please you're not listening!" You cried.

"Oh I'm fucking listening, hes using our son to keep you shut. I'd like to see him try something-"

"Negan his brother is a lawyer. He threatened if I told you anything he'd make sure they'd take Jack away from me. Please, I beg you. I beg you, dont do or say anything. He doesnt do anything as long as I do what he says-"

"Do you fucking hear yourself, Dee?! As long as you do what he says? Who the fuck is he?! I know I was never an easy man to deal with but I never, ever put my god damn hands on you! Ever!" Negan turned red as he yelled, a vein pulsating hard in his neck appeared. You quietly cried before suddenly hearing Jack begin to cry upstairs. Negan sighed looking down, his fists balled up at his sides.

"Just promise me you wont say anything. Promise me."

"Ok." Negan stood aside letting you get past him to run up the stairs and check on Jack. He could hear you singing to him and ran his hands through his hair. He had never been so frustrated by a situation. He knew you were terrified for yourself and Jack and he hated that he felt like he couldnt do anything.

The next few weeks flew by peacefully, your cousin had come into town so she had been staying with you every day. With her around Michael never did anything to you. Negan knew you were safe for the time being but hated knowing Michael was still with you. You had never felt more confused, you loved Negan..you knew you did. The two of you hadn't even spoken about what happened between the two of you at all. Yet, you couldnt stop thinking about it. Jack's birthday was coming up the next day, you couldnt believe he was turning three. As excited as you were the thought of having Michael and Negan together in the same room for the first time since that night made your stomach turn. It made your stomach turn so much you actually began to feel nauseous. Brushing off the nausea, the sound of the doorbell went off and you knew it was Negan.

"Hi." You smiled as you stepped back and let him come in with a bunch of balloons.

"I picked up all these damn balloons, the cake and tomorrow I just gotta get the food." You laughed as Negan struggled with decorations and lay them out on the table.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

Once he had everything set, he turned to you and couldn't help letting his eyes roam from your head to your toes.

"Looking good, Dee."

You blushed feeling your cousins eyes fall on you in confusion. Negan winked at you before turning to Jack and got right on the floor with him and began playing with him.

"Looking good, Dee." Your cousin muttered beside you, making fun of what she has just witnessed.

"Cut it out, Louise."

"What was that all about, he looked like he totally undressed you with his eyes." She continued making you sigh when you the wave of nausea struck you again.

This time it didnt go away and you found yourself running across the living room to the bathroom. Negan looked up with a frown then looked over to Louise as she stared in even more confusion.

"Stay with Jack." Negan pushed himself up and made his way to the bathroom door, knocking gently.

"Deena? You ok?" He could hear you continuing to throw up before you finally flushed. A few minutes later you stepped out of the bathroom looking pale and weak.

"I think it was something I ate." You whispered rubbing your head.

"Come on, let's get you to sit back."

Negan guided you by your arm to the living room when you found Louise opening the door for Michael. You froze in your steps as Negans expression quickly changed.

"Negan, what a surprise."

Negans lip twitched as Michael's eyes drifted to him holding your arm.

"Oh I wasnt feeling good-"

"So I was making sure she could make it back to the couch safely." Negan interrupted in a calm yet cold tone.

"Well I'm sure I can take over now that-"

"I got her." Negan shot back sternly.

"Its ok, Negan. I feel fine, Louise is here with me too."

"Yeah I got her, Negan." Louise agreed.

Michael and Negan didnt say a word to each other as Louise took your arm and led you to the couch. Negan walked out angrily not liking to feel out of control with this situation. You knew tomorrow would be a whole other roller coaster of emotions. It would be Jack's birthday celebration, it was already the 8th. Your heart sunk realizing what you had just thought to yourself. How could you be so stupid?

It was already the 8th and you realized you were four days late on your period.

The rest of the day you felt fine physically but you worried like never before. You knew you had a extra pregnancy test hidden in your drawer somewhere that you would take as soon as Michael would leave. When he did finally leave you asked Louise to stay with Jack while you hid in the bathroom to take the rest.

"Please don't be positive, please dont be positive." You continued to whisper repeatedly when it was time for you to look at the test and your mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God.."

It was positive.

Obviously, you knew it was Negans not having had sex with Michael in the last few weeks. Louise called out for you and you quickly hid the test and the box under your shirt and ran down stairs. Throwing out any of the evidence and without saying a word put Jack to sleep for the night.

The next day you got dressed up in a nice blue sundress for Jack's birthday. It was a very small gathering and you were excited to make this memory for Jack. Looking at yourself in the mirror you finished you make up and took a deep breath before heading out of your room. The decorations had been placed nicely in the living room. Michael was in the kitchen while Louise finished setting up the balloons. You had no idea that while Michael was in the kitchen he had discovered the box the pregnancy test came out of my accident as he was taking out the garbage.

"Deena! Can you come to the kitchen for second?" Michael called out for you as you played with Jack in the living room. You left him on the floor with Louise as you entered the kitchen with a smile excited for the day before realizing what you were walking into. Michael stood by the counter with the box of your pregnancy test in hand. The expression on your face instantly changing, you felt yourself having trouble to breathe.

"Wh-where did you get that..?"

"Oh right from your garbage can, baby." His face looked demented, he looked like a ticking bomb.

"Michael....let me explain.." you whispered as he made his way closer to you.

"Let you explain? Go ahead, explain." Michael threw the box on the table making a glass cup fall and shatter on the floor. Louise heard the noise and looked up before being distracted by the door.

It was Negan.

Louise opened the door for Negan as he came in excitedly picking his son up and wishing him a happy birthday.

"You're a big boy now, three years old." Negan grinned when he suddenly heard Michael yelling. He looked towards the kitchen door then back at Louise with a raised brow.

"I dont know." She whispered with a shrug.

"Michael please!" Negan heard you yell making him quickly give the baby to Louise and charge to the kitchen. When Negan pushed open the door he found Michael grabbing you by your hair before pushing you to the floor. You screamed before looking back and noticing Negan at the door. His eyes filled with rage, you stood up and ran to him blocking him before he could do anything.

"Negan wait- it's not what it looks like."

"Oh yeah, Deena why dont you show Negan here what it looks like huh?"

"Please, Negan just go-"

"Get out of the kitchen, Deena. I've been waiting for this shit." Negan didnt take his eyes off Michael across the room.

"Negan please, listen to me. Look at me."

"Yeah please, look at her before I have to make her shut the hell up."

"Negan!" You squealed when he suddenly pushed you behind him and charged towards Michael.

"Come on asshole, I'll give you a fair fight." Negan threw the chair that was in front of him across the room before he finally reached Michael and the two men began to fight. Both men trying to put each other in head locks as they ran into everything around them, knocking everything to the floor.

"Deena get the hell out of here!"

You stood in shock against the door way watching as Negan knocked Michael off his feet.

"Yeah...wouldnt want an unfortunate accident to happen to a pregnant woman." Michael grunted as Negan held him down before realizing what he said. Negan looked up at you in disbelief before quickly looking back down at Michael.

"Wouldnt want anything happening to that baby." He continued to taunt before Negan collided his fist with Michael's face.

"Say something stupid again, I fucking dare you. Trust me asshole, I got alot more where that came from." He looked directly into Michael's eyes but before he could utter another word, Negan punched him again. Louise had put the baby in his crib and called 911 from hearing all the commotion. She came into the kitchen and gasped at the site of the entire kitchen a mess. The rush of emotions and morning sickness started to take over you. You felt yourself tipping over to the side before bumping into Louise.

"Deena are you okay?" She yelled making Negan look up to find you struggling to stand straight.

"Louise sit her down." Negan instructed without letting go of Michael. Michael scoffed with blood pouring out of his mouth when soon you heard the sound of the cops at the door.

"My brother will handle all of you."

"Youre brother can choke on my dick." Negan squeezed down harder on Michael's neck. The police quickly entered the house and detained Michael who kept yelling at all of you as they dragged him out. Negan rushed to you, grabbing a chair and sitting down right in front of you. You instantly noticed his bloody and bruised knuckles.

"Sir, do you need us to take a look at that?" A paramedic asked Negan.

"No, this is fine-" he shook his hand not worried of any injury.

"I need you to check her." Negan motioned towards you but you quickly shook your head.

"I'm fine, I'm just dehydrated-.

"And pregnant." Negan interrupted.

"You're pregnant?! What!" Louise screamed with excitement making you chuckle. Negan himself couldnt help but smirk a bit.

"Yes, Louise. Wait-wheres Jack?" You looked around as your heart began to race.

"Hes upstairs sleeping, hes fine. Dont worry, Deena." She hugged you as Negan stayed holding your hand. "You're going to need to get a restraining order on that guy if hes bailed out. You cant be here alone with the baby, and pregnant with that mad man knowing where you live."

"Oh she wont be alone, I can promise you that."

Negan meant every word he said, he was never going to risk losing you again.

If you have ideas for a part 3 if youd like one let me know? Not sure where to go after this or if I should continue at all.

[anxiousnerdwritings]

what's up everybody it's the biggest dumbass known to man, knull anon. heres how knull got you from carnage. also apparently knull is almost 9 feet which is like bitch why cant I be that tall anyway here it is

________

“Carnage strikes once again to kill at least 47 people in today's burglary, where he yelled that he tried to ‘stop’ the criminals but they were getting annoying and instead, he caused a powerline explosion that thankfully only affected the surrounding area, ending in 47 terrible deaths. Monica is at the street where the bank was, with more info at what happened.”

“Thank you Jeff, yes, here today, the villain known as “Carnage” went through the streets and killed those 47 people, 4 children included. Police are actively trying to figure out where he has went, but to no luck-”

You almost didn’ hear it, but you were able to hear the steps up to the two story apartment creek and immediately you looked at the time. 12:57. Fuck. 

Quickly getting up from your position on the floor, you made your way back to your room as quietly as possible. Right as you jumped into the covers, you were able to hear the door open and slam. You tried to get comfortable, and you heard Cletus stom his way through the tiny apartment and go over to the kitchen for some reason. Strange. Usually he would go to your room whenever it was this late to make sure you were in bed. You heard the sink running lightly and some heavy breathing. Also unusual for him.

You felt him stomp around some more, opening different things and ripping open boxes. You wondered what he did. You tried not to think about it so you could go to sleep easier and not have to deal with him, but unfortunately, he seemed to finally decide to go to your room. 

Opening your door, he didn't even try to greet you. He only gave you a quick glance before he walked over to your dresser and pulled out a duffle bag and started to shove your clothes inside. Forgetting about sleeping, you shot up and sat on your hands while staring at him. “What are you doing?” 

Cletus only said, “We gotta go before he shows up.” 

“Who?”

Cletus didn’t respond, he only shoved more clothes into the duffle bag. He stopped for a moment and motioned to the duffle bag, as to say, “well?” You got out of bed in your pajamas and he handed you a random pair of clothes. “Get dressed, quick.”

You didn’t ask why since this was a strange move for him to play. He was never this worried about something, and you were almost never able to tell that he was worried since he was really good at hiding what he was feeling. However, you ignored it and instead you just went to the bathroom to change and look better then when you just woke up. 

~~~~

You never really thought Cletus could drive. To be fair, you never thought he had a car. But to be honest, he probably stole this one too.

Right now, you were driving in a truck, one with a little space in the backseats for your things, but for the most part it was empty. The empty highway you were driving on wasnt that much of a sight either. Wondering where you were going, you asked, 

“Cletus, where are we going?”

He gave you a look before you saw Carnage take ahole of the wheel by controlling his hands. Then he turned to you. “You were watching the news before I got home, right?”

You sunk into your seat a little, knowing he was talking about when he had just walked up the steps, but you nodded. “After I had my lunch,” Gross, “Carnage wanted to have a little fun downtown. Unfortunately we decided to hit up the unknown part of town and kill some people there. Which was a bad idea.”

He looked back at the road and Carnage retreated back into his skin. “... I haven’t told you about Knull, have I?” You shook your head. “He's the guy who created symbiotes, apparently, and he really wants control of them as well. He did a while back. But they got free of his rule or something. Anyway, now he's back and he wants to destroy the world or something.”

Oh. Well that was... interesting. You were about to ask more questions, when he suddenly said, “You should probably get some sleep. Were gonna be driving for a while longer.” 

~~~~

It was about 4 am when you woke up. You were able to see some lights that had been bloodied a bit. You sat up from your seat to see that you were at a gas station. It was still dark out. You also saw that there were a few bodies around the place. You unbuckled your seatbelt and opened the car door, and only then did you notice how bad you had to piss. You looked around and saw from inside the store the cashier was dead too. Turning around, you saw Cletus filling up the car. He saw you out of the car, and before he could say anything, you yelled out, “Can I go to the bathroom?” 

He gave a nod, and as you walked into the store, he yelled out to you, “Make sure to get some food, we’re gonna be on the road for a while.”

Walking into the store, you headed straight to the bathroom, and afterward you gathered a bunch of food around the store, mostly just small snacks, along with a few drinks, including water. You then walked up to the cash register.

“Hi, I just have- oh. I forgot he killed you.” You stood there awkwardly, not meeting eyes with the corpse in front of you. You saw that there were a couple plastic bags on the other side of the counter, so you reached over and grabbed some and shoved your items in it. You gave one final look at the bag to make sure you didn't forget anything before you went to the door. 

This gas station had its gas pumps away from the store itself, probably for parking reasons, probably for something else, and you were starting to regret getting so many items and having to carry them back to the car. However, you pushed on for your chips. Opening the door for the shop, you weren't even able to get outside before Carnage was thrown right in front of you, flying to your right, taking the door with him. He landed a few meters away from you, while angrily cursing. You took a step back from the shattered glass in front of you, and then you looked to your left. 

Standing there was an almost 9 foot tall person, with white hair and red eyes. He looked like he just got out of a hot topic, but damn he was able to give off murderous vibes. He seemed to walk right past you and head straight for Carnage. You saw them get up and jump back from whoever they were fighting. Carnage jumped straight for them, before he just motioned for you to get into the truck. You had already abandoned the bags and you hopped into the car, before you noticed that the pump was already back in its original place, and the car keys were already in. 

You looked out of your right window to see the two beings fight each other to the death, and without thinking, you hopped in the driver's seat and turned the car on. Right as the car turned on, you realized that you had no idea how to drive. You looked at the symbols, before remembering Cletus driving. Every time he wanted to go forward, he went to the D symbol. Everytime he wanted to go backwards, he went to the R symbol. You looked at the handle and put it in drive. Then you moved the car forward. 

You would be happy at yourself for teaching yourself on how to start a car if it hadn't been for someone ripping off your car door and dragging you out. A lot more gently then you would’ve thought, but it was better than being manhandled. You came face to face with that strange 9 foot tall bitch, the one who was a scary hot topic person. 

He had you by the back of your sweater you had lazily put on when you had to leave in a rush at 12. When he stood up you were at least 4 feet off the ground.

“Who are you?”

You didn’t say anything. You looked over to where Carnage was and saw that they were healing themselves. 

Whoever this was, they were extremely powerful to make Carnage heal Cletus. However, you did not pay any attention to the tall man in front of you. “I asked, who are you?” This time you did respond. 

“_________”

“I did not know Cletus had a daughter.”

“I’m not his daughter.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

To be fair, you didn’t know what you were doing here. You first met Eddie way back when, when you were trying to get some food for your siblings for dinner, and then you got mugged. Eddie and Venom had saved you, but then they took you for some reason. They treated you as a daughter, before you were able to escape. Then Cletus found you. You don’t know how long you’ve been with him, but more than a month. You’ve been trying to ask that question to them for a while. You really don’t know. So you told him.

“I was trying to get a burger and then I got illegally adopted by some guy named Venom and then I got illegally adopted by this guy.” You gestured to Carnage before your arm went limp. 

The tall man looked over to Carnage, who was starting to stumble up, before looking back at you. He gave a look that you had seen before, the one when Cletus and Carnage gave you when they took you off the streets.

“Venom, you say?”

You gulp before continuing. “Yes, the one whos always hungry and his, um, ‘host’ has him on a leash.”

The tall man seemed to scratch his chin in understanding, “Yes, yes I know who you speak of.”

Carnage came in again trying to land a hit on the tall man, before he got back handed into the store wall, and seemingly needed to heal again. The tall man looked back to you, and said, “My name is Knull. It seems that I am also plagued with the desire to, how did you say it, ‘illegally adopt’ you.”

“Oh are you fucking kidding me-” You heard Cletus say, and when you looked over, he was grabbing onto the wall for support. 

How long were they fighting before you got out?

Knull was starting to drag you away, to which your fight or flight instinct started to kick in and you tried to claw at his hand that held you at your hoodie. When that didn't work, you tried to climb up his arm and bite him but that also did not work. Looking back at Carnage, you saw them stumble towards you, but you were still fighting with the hand that kept you in place.

You were suddenly held up by your neck, somehow not choking you, but just enough so you could still breathe. You felt something at your temple before you started to fade. The last thing you saw was Cletus running towards you, his hand stretched out towards you and Knull seemingly grinning at something.

_____

this one was kinda fun to write ngl but anyways thank u for letting me write here lmao I want to create a new blog for this stuff but at the same time it's like my brain says no and it's just a big mess but ye thank you for letting me write here 💖💖💖💖. lots of love,

- knull anon

That was really awesome! I’m glad you got me into Knull, Knull anon! You’re always welcomed to write and send in whatever you want. I’m glad my blog can be a place for you to put your creativity to use. I gotta thank you for sharing and gracing us with your work💖🥰💕!

[omegangrins]

Chibnall, Children, Choice and Consequence

Allow me to introduce a companion piece to A Treatise on the Doctor:

It's pretty simple:

Chibnall knows what he's doing and is playing a long game to show how the Doctor needs to take more responsibility.

Let me start off with my favorite examples. That's right, plural.

Every single villain 13 faces is never defeated, merely pushed away from causing them any immediate problems. Tim Shaw being the prime example.

1&10. Seriously, Tim Shaw. Her plan was to use his own bombs on him and then teleport him off the planet. Even without Ranskoor Av Kolos, the Doctor should have thought to check in on him. Especially after The Ghost Monument showed the Stenza were a greater threat than she knew. She still hasn't even checked up on WHAT THE HELL THE STENZA ARE! They sound worse than Daleks but naw, let's go rain-bathing in the upper tropics of Canstano instead.

2. Ghost Monument. We saw the END of an interuniversal race. What the fuck is the beginning that got them there? Who is Illyn and how and why did he orchestrate a super race?

3. Krasko. Sent back in time. Really, Doc? Not gonna take a look at the device and see where Ryan sent the prick so you can double check that he's not gonna cause anymore damage?

4. President Trump analog. Ooooo, you looked at him menacingly, Doc, that'll show him!! Not like he's gonna KEEP DOING ILLEGAL SHIT LIKE THIS.

5. The Pting. She literally shunted it off ship to be dealt with by someone else BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SHE HAS HER TARDIS. That's like leaving a living nuke floating around after sweeping it under the rug while you fly off to Paris.

6. The Pakistani-Indian conflict still happens and millions still die. Not her fault but still....

7. Kerblam. Sure, Charlie's terrorism was solved but not the underlying problem that led to it. Humans still can't work because corporations like profits over people.

8. Similar to the Punjab, how you gonna solve sexism, classism and all the -isms?

9. WHY WAS THE SOLITRACT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!! It's been around since before the universe. Why'd it decide to come back now? It's a whole universe trying to hug our universe to death. Maaaaaaybe we should check out why.

11. She's gets a pass on the Dalek. Fucking impossible to eradicate them.

12. The Master!!! Finally she checks up on something after the adventures... and it's horrible. With everything gone to shit in her absence. Seeing a pattern yet?

And Barton? And the Cassaven? They didn't disappear into smoke.

13. Multiple Earths being multiply fucked. Remember when I said the Doctor couldn't solve racism, classism, sexism, or any of the other -isms? Starting to look like she needs to TRY.

14. The Skithra FLY OFF after getting hit by a laser beam. That kind of thing tends to piss people off. Even if they're idiots using other's technology.

15. Jack. The Judoon. The Ruth Doctor. All things I'd start checking out if I had a time machine BUT

16. WE CAN'T cause the TARDIS emergency alert is going off and we need to hurry up and run and solve this problem before we run out of time in our TIME AND SPACE MACHINE. Leading to another problem the Doctor could help solve but won't. Plastic and over-consumption.

17. Oh yeah, let's trap two Eternals from another universe in the same place. There's NO WAY that could ever turn out bad.

18,19,20. And again. Cyberium. Pushed off Shelley onto herself and onto Ashad and onto The Master.

That's almost 20 "enemies" the Doctor still needs to deal with.

Oh, not to mention that they let UNIT go defunct because they didn't have the forethought to ask if they needed any money in their alien fighting budget. After asking for an office, a desk, and a job. Kinda funny that way, aren't they?

I hope by now you've gotten the idea that this is VERY deliberate. This is Chibnall laying down some very heavy pipe to smack the Doctor like a clothesline. There isn't a one of these situations that can't come around to bite her in the ass.

Barton, Roberts, Skithra. These are all very loose strands for a time traveller like the Doctor to get tripped up on. Chibnall's past episodes prove it. They're all about the Doctor learning how to take responsibility.

42: The Doctor almost gets Martha killed and almost gets himself killed trying to fix it.

The Hungry Earth: The Doctor (a thousand year old "adult") tells Elliot (a 10 year old kid) that "Sure it's totally fine to go get your headphones while we prepare for an approaching unknown alien force." And 11 rightfully gets his ass chewed for it by the child's mother when the kid goes missing because OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, JACKASS!

Cold Blood: I could write an entire essay about the Doctor's guilt over the Silurian/Human conflicts they've witnessed, but I don't need to. Because every single Silurian centered episode written in the new era is from Chris Chibnall. And you can feel the sad knowledge of Classic Who spill through. He KNOWS how many times the Doctor has fucked up with the Silurians (about 8 times in television format. And it's rough everytime. Rough.) and he writes those episodes like an apology on behalf of the whole human race. And the Doctor. You know why people are put off by Warriors of the Deep? 5 releases a gas that melts the Silurians. And though it's cheesy, the idea and execution is still horrible.

Add to that if the Doctor hadn't stopped to check the crack, then Rory wouldn't have waited and been around to be shot then absorbed by the time crack.

Power of Three: An entire episode about how the Doctor has a problem slowing down and really taking account of the lives of their companions.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship: The Doctor actually tries to be responsible and pick the right people for a job. For once. But gets angry when they realize it's too late and there's another bunch of Silurians they failed to save. Classic!

Like I said, if you can't see the pattern, you're not paying enough attention to your responsibilites.

Which leads me to the why.

When you fly around time and space for thousands of years, you develop a few duties of care along the way. In every situation, you're the oldest. Technically the only adult in terms of experience. You have a responsibility to act a little less rude and be a bit more aware than needing cue cards to tell you that you should be sad about things around you. And that's the purpose of 13. She's unlucky but learning. Like 12 telling himself something with his face he couldn't say out loud, 13's instincts are leading her to a new place for the Doctor: being a caring, responsible person. Not so much laughing hard or running fast, but being kind. It's the one thing they recognized as a problem in themselves when seeing 1. Being a Doctor is about being kinder than that. Just because you HAVE to saw someone's leg off, that doesn't mean you can't wait a little and comfort them before you do it.

You wanna know what gave me every faith in Chibnall showrunning Doctor Who? 13 staying for Grace's funeral.

Do you understand how unprecedented that is? This is the same person who never said Goodbye to Jo Grant as she got married and fucked off into the night. The same Doctor who said, "I don't do domestic.", did it with Rose a regeneration later, and then closed himself off to everyone but a married couple he felt guilty about who ended up birthing his wife. Have you any idea the number of funerals the Doctor should have the common decency to sit through? This many.

So for 13 to stay around for the death of a woman she has only just met and not only that, BUT call out Ryan's father for not doing the same, it shows tremendous character growth. It's taken millennia but they're still changing.

Something similar happens with Rosa and The Witchfinders. Realizing that there a lot of companions who have been in situations that are sometimes worse than aliens, but they still manage to make it through. So she needs to buck it up and persevere for everyone else.

That's where her anger comes from, and really it's one of my favorite traits on her. It reminds me of 7. Someone impossibly old and impossibly kind saying to hell with it and at least having some fun with the evils who drag us through the universe. And just like Cartmel planned for 7, 13's past will come to haunt her.

That's where children come in. Most of us are crying babies to the Doctor.

There's this thing you notice most in British shows about answering the question directly as asked. Someone says "Are you sure?", you answer "Sure". That's a direct acknowledgement that you heard the question, understood it, and processed it enough to respond in a manner directly correlating to the question asked. Yas and Graham got it and said "Sure" but Ryan missed it and said "Deffo". This is like Elliot with the headphones. The Doctor should have immediately been like, "Okay, Ryan, it's obvious that you're still dealing with the trauma of your grandmother's death and probably not processing things on a logical level. I said "Are you sure?" Not "Are you deffo?" Because we are most definitely not deffo, Ryan. Graham, you wanna help here?"

I'm being sarcastic for points sake but you understand the idea. The Doctor knows better and has a responsibility as such. She should've really sat down with Ryan and Graham and seen if there was a better way to process their grief.

Because I'm fairly certain that "Deffo" is gonna lead to Ryan's death and Graham's cancer resurging as time cancer (I don't know what time cancer is. I just know it's bad.)

And that is gonna piss Yas off. Which will give you all that character you think she's missing (she isn't. Her character is in her subtleties and silences.). That's WHY her character is a police officer (like how does no else see that the man who wrote Broadchurch wrote an inspector character companion?) Imagine you're Yaz and you see the Doctor flying around in a big, magic box that says POLICE. As a fellow officer, you're gonna expect some basic safety protocols.

Like do a background check on everyone flying in the TARDIS to know whether they're stable enough (mentally, physically, emotionally) for time and space travel. It's no picnic. These people are going to go through hell. A little vetting and planning like Time Heist or Dinosaurs on a Spaceship goes a long way.

Secondly, full fucking disclosure.

"Oh. I can't die because I change my body. Oh. I have arch enemies that will try to kill and torture us any chance they get. Oh. My home planet is full of the biggest assholes in the universe and I'm including my arch enemies."

Third, police like to do this thing called "check-ups" where they go back to the scene of the crime in order to see if there is any more information that can be gleaned which you might not notice when you are busy running around trying not to be killed... Like, the Doctor has the perfect machine to do this with, but nope. Adventure done, run to the next place!!

These are all things you'd expect any reasonable person to do and say when taking others flying off into time and space and "helping". Even if they are an idiot passing through and learning. Especially when you consider the Doctor is vastly older and more experienced than everyone they encounter. They SHOULD know better. And they've got the lifespan to slow down. It's not like they need to be in a hurry because they're going to die at any moment like humans. The Doctor could easily stay for tea and it would be less than a drop in their lifespan.

Now, as usually is the case when I make these theories, I have a parts 1,2,3,4 and 6. There's allways this 5th piece I miss but I manage to get at the end.

But the 6th piece is the Timeless Child. The Doctor isn't a Time Lord anymore. They're not beholden to those people and ideas anymore. Even moreso, those people basically raped her childhood for their own gain so it's not like you'd really listen to them and their "policy of non-intervention".

I'm sensing a coming Trial of a Time Lord season (even believing these two seasons are the opening statement and preliminary evidence of the trial itself) wherein the Doctor finally gets the turnaround 6 deserved. A Trial of the Time Lords, if you will.

"In all my travels through time and space I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here! The oldest civilization: decadent, degenerate and rotten to the core! Power mad conspirators? Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen — they're still in the nursery compared to us! Ten million years of absolute power: that's what it takes to be really corrupt!"

This is what it's all coming down to. Chibnall's takedown of the Time Lords. And The Master is going to play the most crucial role of all.

They're going to be revealed as an Ux alongside the Doctor and show how the only constants they have in this universe are each other and it's about damn time they work together and tell these high collars to eat Schitt while they explore every star and planet they can find.

Come on, the episode is called The Timeless "Children". If it was just the Doctor it'd be called "The Timeless Child". The Master says as much with the misdirect line, "built on the lie of the Timeless Child." since we see two kids playing in that flashback.

"Since always. Since the Cloister Wars, since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife, since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

Now we know which one was a lie, we know the Master HAS known the Doctor since they were a little girl. THAT little girl...

But this is all just speculation. It's not like Chris Chibnall could have been thinking about this for the past 40 years and was given a blank slate to do whatever he wanted for five years on his favorite TV show. If y'all want to think he took those reigns and is choosing to make things worse...

Well then you don't know much about responsibility.

I'll let the man himself tell you about it.

"Very early in my career,” says Chibnall, “someone told me that you learn more from a failure than you do from a success. And then I lived out that phrase for a year in Los Angeles. I learned that I would not work that way again or be put in that situation again.” The essential lesson was: “You either have to be in total control of a show or working with people who share your vision and will work with you to achieve it. Also, never work with 13 executive producers.

“Camelot was the classic case of too many cooks. It wasn’t a harmonious set-up and I think that does manifest itself on screen.

“I had a fantastic cast but you have to be free to tell the story you want to tell in the way that you want to tell it. What ended up on screen was not what I wanted and so it is a blemish on my CV.”

Credit to @thirteenthdoc

“You immortals - so entitled, so spoiled. You never clear up after yourselves and you always leave stuff lying around.” - Thirteenth Doctor in Can You Hear Me?

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck (pt 7)

Previous | Part one

If only you had known how bad of a day you were going to have, you would've lied and told your parents that you got a cold from last night, but of course, you didn't.

You woke up early, eager to meet Jaemin at school. You had a dream about going to a Cafe with him, so you were feeling a little positive. You got ready as usual and made time to prepare coffee and two sandwiches, planning on having lunch with him. You didn't know what it was, but Jaemin was making you so happy.

You asked your dad to drive you to school, and had a nice talk on the way. He asked about Mark, and thatvwas the only reason that you remembered his existence. You didn't mean to be mean, but he hadn't been nice to you, at all, so you just told dad that he had been busy since the day he saw him.

You arrived early, and wondered if he'd be at school already, by any chance.

“Monday, 7:20 a.m: morninnnnnnggggg!!!!!!

r u at school already 🤪

i wanted to have lunch with you

iF YOU WANT TO RITEEE”

Ten minutes happened and he didn't reply, so you just assumed that he was on his way. You walked towards your classroom and ran into Jeno, who seemed to be having a good morning, himself.

“Hey, sunshine” his smile was wide and bright, it made you smile too instantly.

“sunshine?” he nodded, and you both laughed it off “should I call you something cute, too?”

“Not if it doesn't come up natural” he asked to carry your bag and the bottle you had in your hands, you only gave him the bottle and you kept walking together “Anyway, have you talked to Jaemin? He hasn't replied to my texts since you left yesterday”

“No, i just texted him, but he hasn't even read them” a slight feeling of worry rushed through your spine, but you ignored it, thinking that you were just over thinking what happened yesterday.

“Well, i guess we'll have to wait” you arrived to your classroom and left your things in a chair. “Are you having lunch with us?”

“Sure, I'll see you later, then”

“Great, see you later, Sunshine”

Even though you were worried about Jaemin, it wasn't s bad day at all. You figured that maybe he just decided to skip the day if Mark annoyed him too much. You had a nice day with the boys again, you finally met Jisung and Chenle, and they were, indeed, babies. Jisung said that from now on you were officially the only girl allowed to be with them, and the rest of his friends laughed at how childish he was, but you thanked him and assured him that you were flattered. You couldn't remember the last time you had fun with boys like that, that had no other intention than to be friends.

In the last period, though, you got a text, and went to the restroom to read it.

“Monday, 1:46 p.m, Mark: I'll pick you up

Be on time

Please”

“Monday, 1:55 p.m: you're kidding”

“Monday, 2:06 p.m: we need to talk. i won't be late”

You were anxious. You were pissed at him, you were hurt and him acting like that, again, made you feel even worse. But knowing that you were meeting again, as so many times you had, still made you feel some type of way.

When the class was over, you rushed to his place in the parking lot, trying not to run into any of your friends or someone that would distract you. You waited for him, and know he was the one coming late. You thought that maybe it was time to get going, until you heard rhe roar of his Harley in the distance. He stopped and looked at you, not saying a word but telling you to hop in. You did, with ni helmet this time, in fact, he barely gave you enough time to sit properly and hold him, before rushing to wherever he wanted to go. You realized soon that he was taking you home. When you stopped and got off, you wanted to thank him for the ride, bug he took off his helmet and interrupted you.

“Are your parents home?” he had scars everywhere on his face, a black eye and deep dark circles. For a moment you felt guilty for being pissed.

“No. Do you wanna come in?” he nodded and you told him to park in the garage.

You sat on the dining table, and none of you dared to speak first.

“Are you hurted?” Dumb question, of course he was hurted. His lips were still bleeding when he'd smile , but he did anyway.

“A little” you couldn't look him in the eye and he noticed “Are you?”

“I didn't get beaten yesterday” you tried to laugh but you knew what he meant.

“I mean... Did I hurt your feelings?”

'yes' you wanted to scream at him, you didn't understand why, but you were so done with him for some reason 'what would you know about feelings anyway?'

“No, why would you?”

“I think i was a jerk yesterday. Not only to you, I was so selfish with my friends, I need to apologize, but I wanted to make sure you were okay” In his mind it made no sense, he knew he was wrong, but he didn't know what made him be wrong, not at all.

“Did you apologize to Jaemin already?” There it was. The sudden mention of his friend's name triggered some kind of jealous that he couldn't understand, but he couldn't stop.

“Talking that” he said in a more serious tone “What's going on between you and Jaemin?”

Well, you sure didn't know what to say. Mark was the one that you were "dating" somehow, and as much as he had been and idiot, you knew that you couldn't treat him like that. But Jaemin was so sweet, he also confessed already, which made things easier, because you didn't have to guess what he was feeling, unlike Mark. If anything, why did Mark care, anyway?

“Nothing at all, I guess” but the sensation of lying to him made you feel guilty, everything about being with him did, “well, we had fun yesterday, that's it”

He raised an eyebrow and got the feeling of something being wrong, but he wouldn't make it a bigger problem. “Sure”

The silence was overwhelming as both tried to think what to do next. He knew he wanted to grab you and kiss you, hoping you would forget about Jaemin, at least for a while. You started to make excuses for him to leave, without sounding rude at all.

“What kind of fun?” it came out of him unnoticed, and he regretted it as he was speaking.

“What?” it was unexpected, and turned on a switch made made your anger grow again, but you spoke calmly.

“I mean, do you ever say you have fun with me?” you were about to go off, you knew you were done but Mark was quick to continue “I'm- sorry, I just got... Confused? I'll just stop”

“Monday, 3:20 p.m, Na Jaemin: I'M SORRY

Okay so I don't want to make up excuses

I'm sorry, but you don't have to forgive me

Do you want to talk?

Should I leave you alone?”

You couldn't help but smile. The man in front of realized and the look on his face was intimidating again.

“Y/N” he got your attention again “please, just tell me if you feel something for... someone. I just need to know, please” his voice cracked a little and your only reaction was to hold his hand, he squeezed you back and waited for your answer, but you didn't know what it was. You were sure you had feelings for him, after all this was the main reason that whatever he did ended up hurting you, but at this point you didn't know what kind of feelings they were. You cared for him, you were thankful that he introduced you to his friends, you knew that you'd be there for him what ever he'd been through, and what ever he wanted, but was that what he wanted to hear?

“Do you?” you asked, but didn't know who you asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know” you wished things never became complicated, and he did too.

“Jaemin likes you, do you know that?” he hoped you said you didn't, and that he'd scare you away from him, even knowing that his friend, who literally saved him last night, would be hurted.

“Yes” he started to let your hand go, and it didn't have to feel as dramatic as it did, but you couldn't help it “how do you know?”

“He told me. In fact-” he got visibly nervous “he told me some time ago”

It seemed like everytime you tried to excuse Mark he said something to be wrong again. You didn't want to discuss anything with him anymore, you didn't even know what ypu were thinking anymore.

“Can you tell me what happened yesterday?”

“I don't really want to talk about it” he looked tired, and you felt compassion for him “I will apologize to Jaemin, just so you know”

“It's what he deserves”

“He does” it was so awkward, it felt like during this days you grew apart so much “I'm sorry Y/N, I don't what I'm doing, I feel weird and lost, do you think he'll ever forgive me?”

“Mark... Of course he will, you are friends and he loves you”

“I don't want to make this about us again. I just wanted to clear up everything, I think it's confusing. There's nothing between us, right? You can do whatever you want, I don't want you to feel like you're tied to me... That's not me, I don't do that, you know it, right?”

You expected that. But it didn't change the fact that it hurted just so much.

“Yeah, I know” you didn't want him to notice, you knew that it wouldn't change anything “of course I know”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Of course I am”

Mark felt an urge to ask you to reconsider your relationship, he wondered if there was anything he could say to make you change your mind, but deep down, he knew that you wouldn't agree. That was the problem of not being honest from the beginning.

If he could go back in time, he would, and do whatever he could differently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A.N: I'm uninspired and feeling down, but i didn't want to sink in my own thoughts, I hope you can enjoy this a little bit. Did you drink some water already?

[ma-gic-gay]

What the fuck is this oxygen thing doing in his nose, why is there someone praying at his bedside and who the hell can dim the lights?

"Oh thank god you're awake," the blonde by his bedside (presumably the one praying) smiles. "Are you comfortable?"

He searches his brain before remembering why he's in here: He got shot and fell to the ground (hence the headache). It was coming out of court and he was convinced they were going to shoot at her. "Are you?" He asks in return, noting that she's clearly stretching her back. The chairs aren't comfortable, though she has gotten used to sleeping in them over the years.

A single tear runs down her stained face (probably makeup, he figures. That's messy stuff) as she smiles. "I've dealt with worse," she answers calmly. When he starts pulling out the oxygen thing, she chuckles to herself. "Epiphany is gonna be mad you did that."

"Well I can breathe fine without it," he argues, mildly wincing with the pain of the bullet wound. "This thing's just annoying me."

"You were shot in the chest and narrowly escaped having a serious head trauma, Jason, that's not fine. I had to sign off on four different surgeries for you! One to remove the bullet, one when something went wrong after that with the bullet, an exploratory brain surgery, and then, just for fun, they had me sign off on an exploratory heart surgery to make sure you hadn't had more severe bleeding than they thought," Carly starts in on him, clearly worked up.

"How long was I out?"

"Three days. You could've died in this hospital and guess who would've been to blame? Me. Sam reminded me of that more times than I'd like to think about," she continues her rant. "No taking stupid risks with your life! If you see a gun pointed at you you run the other direction, you don't save me first! I need you alive so promise me you're not going to be a hero and save everyone but yourself."

"The guns were pointed at you, Carly," he argues, knowing it's in vein by the look on her face that says he's not getting out of this. "I wasn't taking a risk with my life, I was saving you."

"And you could've died doing it!"

"You could've died too, you know. They could've shot you or a bullet could've ricocheted. Besides, I'm fine," Jason shrugs off the surgery. "In a little bit of chest pain and with a minor headache but fine all things considered."

She glares at him, clearly still upset. Grabbing his hand, she exclaims, "I thought you were going to die! Sam was blaming me for it left and right. Jake, Danny and Scout thought their dad wouldn't wake up. Michael, Joss, and Donna were worried to all hell. Which reminds me, I was instructed by Donna to give you this card." After a brief moment of fumbling around in her purse, she found the piece of paper she was looking for and hands it to him.

The card was clearly written by Avery, considering that the handwriting is much better than Donna's. It reads, "Get Better Quick!" And has a stick figure that's supposed to be him with a bunch of red coming from his shirt. Blood, he figures. On the inside, it's the stick figure napping, no more red stain. All in all, it's a cute card.

"Hey Carly, is-" Sam starts, entering the room angrily. "Jason! You're up!"

"I'm going to go call my kids," Carly announces, leaving the room. "I'll be back in a few minutes, probably armed with at least one of them."

Getting a quiet chuckle out of Jason, she leaves the room with a pep on her step. He must've scared them pretty bad if she's that happy about his being awake and as functioning a human as someone in a hospital bed can be.

Sam, beaming, takes Carly's place and says, "Thank god. You were worrying us for a while there."

"I'm fine," he shrugs.

"No you're not. You almost died protecting Carly, again. This is becoming a habit of yours, Jason," she sighs. That's a lie; she knows it too. "You being her hero is going to cost you your life one of these days and I don't want that. None of us do."

Now she's just flat out pissing him off. Only took about a minute to do that, which is kind of impressive. "What do you want me to do, let her get shot?"

She takes a minute to think about her answer. What the hell? There's a right answer and there's a wrong answer here.

"I don't want you to die because of her. That's what I think. If that's the only way for it to happen, then yes, I guess she's going to get shot. It wouldn't kill you to let her have a little bit of the consequences for her actions for once, you know," Sam says simply. "Doing something dumb enough to get shot at might be a sign she has to learn her lesson."

"The gun was aimed at her. It was a hired gun from Cyrus. As far as I knew, his orders were to take her out." When Sam stops reacting, he asks, "What did Cyrus do?"

"You got shot saving her," Sam continues. "She's never going to learn to depend on you less if you keep saving her everytime you think she's in trouble, Jason. She'll always be this dependent, if not more, on you."

Oh good god. This conversation is going in circles and it's giving him a headache. "It's not your business anymore whether she's dependent on me or not," he says, voice as even as possible. She seems to be forgetting they're not together, or even friends anymore. They coparent their kids, that's it.

There's a hurt look on Sam's face, he can see as she simply responds, "You're right. But that doesn't mean that it's a good thing you could die protecting her from her own messes."

"I never said it was a good or bad thing. I'm alive."

"I've got to go get the kids," she excuses herself before leaving the room.

Well now he kinda feels like shit. He didn't mean to send her away or hurt her feelings, but it's clear he did just that. To be fair, she might've forgotten about the kids for a bit and remembered she had to pick them up somewhere, but he doubts it. Not wholehearted doubt, but enough.

"Stop frowning. It causes wrinkles," Carly jokes as she enters the room again. "Sam just went to go get Danny and Scout from the Quartermaine's. My kids are over the moon you're doing better. Donna would like to run in here right now, but I had to remind her it's a hospital and that's disgusting."

"The hospital's fairly clean," he smiles before noticing that her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. "What happened?"

"Cyrus is out on bail. He's got full reign of the hospital."

"How?"

"I guess his lawyer's actually good and managed to get him bail. Sympathetic judge," the blonde says, shrugging. "He's stayed away from me, thank god. Not for me, for him. I'm half sure if I saw him I'd start attacking him."

"What about the trial?"

"It's over. Cyrus changed his plea. His sentencing isn't for a few weeks, though, so his lawyer petitioned for bail and got it," she smiles brightly as she says the first part, tone turning for the later half. "And if you're not admitted out of here by then, rest assured, I'll break you out to go."

He chuckles, noticing her eyes are glossy. "Why are you crying?"

"I don't know," Carly laughs. "It's just happening. Tears have decided to fall from my eyeballs, which doesn't even make sense because I'm happy right now. You're alive and as well as can be considering your four surgeries, everyone's fine, I don't get it." She wipes her tears away with a chuckle. "If you'd died because of me-"

"I didn't. I'm alive. Stop worrying I'm going to have a heart attack or something and die. I made it, you made it, your family is fine, my family is fine. No point in dwelling on the past," Jason interrupts her. "See? I'll be fine in a few days."

"You're in here because of me," she argues weakly, not meeting his eyes.

"Look at me, Carly," he instructs calmly and she does just that. "This isn't your fault. It's not mine or anyone but Cyrus's. And the guys that shot me. Alright? You did nothing wrong."

"I could've-"

"Could've what? Been psychic? Predicted the future? That's not real and we both know it. What is real is that I am alive. Everyone we care about it alive. I'm not planning on dying anytime soon. Everything is fine and you're not responsible for not having psychic abilities," Jason reminds her, watching her try to find a hint of a lie within the words or a way she can continue to blame herself. "Stop blaming yourself."

"Fine," she caves, "if you promise to not forget to save yourself when bullets start flying around me, I'll stop blaming myself."

"Deal."

"I'm waiting for the promise."

"I promise to remember to save myself and you."

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"No," he says, "it really wasn't."

"You can thank me at any time for introducing you to the lovely world of negotiation."

"I've been in a business involving negotiation since the 1990s."

"Coffee is a very competitive business."

"Very."

When she stops bantering with him and kisses him, he knows something in his life has changed.

To be continued after I pass out :) I live in hell

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