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natromanxoff · 4 years ago

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I wasn’t sure about posting this at first but as it is already shared publicly and I have come across with it on Pinterest, I decided that it would be okay. So here is a story of a fan about Jim Hutton:

“ON 23rd of March, there was a Queen Tribute band concert in Goresbridge and my boyfriend told me that Jim would come as well. He admitted that he had arranged with Stephen for Jim to come along. The concert was in the pub called The Spirit Store. What a great name for spiritual meeting, I thought. When I entered, Jim sat at the table with Stephen, Jascqueline, her sister Valeria and other family friends. There was nowhere to sit, so we just stood by the table for a while. When I looked at Jim, he appeared somewhat fragile and tiny, like a man who could easily be overlooked. He didn´t look anything like those photos portraying him in the books.

After a while, there was a free seat by the table and everyone, including Jim, moved in order for us to sit down. It was just one place and my friend Mike wanted to take it. He got up fast but they all stopped him. Jim measured Mike up and down and told him, "Perhaps you should let the lady sit here, you cavalier!" Embarassed, Mike got up from his chair and offered it to me. I got the honorable place alongside Jim. Being a woman sometimes has its advantages! Jim welcomed me with heartfelt "Hi". At first I was nervous, but after a while I felt relaxed and enjoyed Jim's company. I was aware of his behavior, gestures, laughter, and tried to absorb his energy all at once. It was easy to talk to him about anything and everything.

I wanted to know the man Freddie loved so much, so I guess I started giving him many questions.

"Jim, are you still in touch with Phoebe?" Jim looked at me closely and began to talk to me with interest. "I haven´t really been talking to him for a long time. I know he had a hotel in Dubai, then he sold it, and he's in Prague now. He also bought something overthere and I think he's going to settle down there." When I heard about Prague, I jumped up excitedly and told him that I was from there. He smiled a little, though the coincidence like this didn´t overwhelm him as much as me.

He relished glass of Budwaiser and smoked Ultra light Silk Cuts. He offered me one and lit it up for me like a real gentleman. It seemed he wanted to continue talking. We both made fun of the ultralight effect of his cigarettes, which would probably piss off every orthodox smoker, Freddie for sure! He then demonstrated jokingly, how to properly smoke them. He inhaled all the smoke by sucking in his cheeks and widening his eyes, as if he should soon burst like an inflated toad. None of us resisted and we both burst into a mad laughter. I told him about my visit to Munich and meeting Barbara. He smiled and listened, then he rolled his eyes up to heaven and stated that she is one hell of a crazy woman. I totally agreed, and added, that also alcoholic one. It was surreal to talk about mutual aquaintances together, people we both knew. I also mentioned my visit to New York club and I could see how he returns nostalgically into his memories. Then I also tried to make him remember my friend Allison, who told me about him in the first place.

"About nine years ago she visited you in London". He couldn´t remember and admitted, that since then a lot of people have passed through his life and many of them he never saw again.

I continued. "She showed me several of your photos and in one of them you were holding Freddie's portrait that you bought at the auction". Suddenly he jumped up and said he knew whom I mean.

I showed him my miniature box containing a stone and talked about it with almost patriotic pride. "It's a stone from Logan Mews that I had to dig out from under the threshold of his house, because there was nothing else to take." Jim laughed out loud, this time without any hindrance and doubt that I was totally crazy. I also laughed because I knew I sound like nuts. He remarked with smile from ear to ear that I was pretty crazy. "Yeah, I'm crazy, and I'm proud to be. Who isn´t...and by the way.....why not?" I smiled at what I just said, because that´s what Freddie would say, to defend himself. Jim then talked about the medallion that Freddie had given him for his birthday. He said, there were three miniature pictures inside. "The first is that of Miko ", he said gently, looking up at me to make sure I knew who he was talking about. "In the other one is Freddie" ... he continued with kind of fervor and love. Something deep inside me shivered. "In the third one," ... he didn´t answer yet, when I jumped into his monologue ...."Tiffany," I blurted out.

"My mom's photo," he finished his sentence. (and I prayed he didn´t register my answer).

It was nice to hear him remembering like that. He opened up in front of me the way I never dreamt of. I think it was nice for him to share these beautiful moments and to talk about things that meant so much to him. "This rock is my good luck charm. I have been listening to Queen since I´m twelve and I also work in the Fan Club's office. We celebrate his anniversary every year. When I went here, I was kidding with my friends that I might meet Jim Hutton in Ireland... and here you are, sitting right next to me. That´s my dream come true", I said all emotional.

"How do you know Stephen?", he inquired after while.

"I go out with Vinnie and they are good friends" He eyed my boyfriend and indicated that he knew who he was.

"I was annoying the two of them and was constantly asking them to bring you", I smiled.

"Oh, Jacqueline wanted me to come, alright" Jim smiled at the thought. Then he talked about the music talent competition, in which they were selecting the best imitators of Queen.

"What music are you actually listening to?" I wondered.

"I have no favorite, I'm listening to almost everything. Even a radio".

"And do you still have Zig and Zag?"

He only sighed and said in a sad voice that they had both died since then.

"And do you have any other cats?"

"Yeah, I have seven others now," Jim smiled. This number didn´t surprise me. The old habits are hard to kill.

"Do you still keep up the gardening, Jim?"

"Constantly," he said with a loving smile and amusedly showed me his hands dirty from the clay and covered in sores. For God's sake, he must have been gardening a few minutes before going to a concert!, I thought to myself. A complete garden maniac.....

We were joking on the account of the band that was supposed to start playing long time ago, but somehow did not. He told me it would be nice to get drunk, so we didn´t know how terrible they were. That really made me crack up. He could be so funny.

He joked and emphasized to everyone around the table, that instead of a concert he could have been at home watching his favorite movie. In the same breath, he admitted that he was curious about their performance and that he hadn´t been out in ages.

He leaned over to me and confessed, that now he lived a life completely cut off from the rest of the world.

"We are basically the same, I am basically like him. Now I just enjoy loneliness and privacy. I don´t go out anywhere except my garden". I immediately knew whom he was referring to in his speech.

I said that I had discovered his house in Palatine and apologized when I saw his slightly concerned look. I said I was just little curious.

He then recalled a few of his encounters with the fans. One day there was an unknown car with a couple of strangers that arrived to his house. They came all way from Vienna and they found him by questioning people in a town! Not a hard thing to trace him, he said, as every cab driver in the area knows him pretty well. One local newspaper even published a photo of his house, and although they gave a wrong address, a lot of people had found him.

That made me laugh, because I knew what it means to be a devoted fan.

"On the other hand, it's nice to know that someone is constantly looking after you and giving you the feeling that all this is still alive," I added with a smile.

"Jim, do you still have your Volvo?"

"You mean the one that Freddie gave me?.....No, I don´t have it few years now, I´ve swapped it for a new one," he smiled.

He was all too gallant all the time, always lighting my cigarette.

He also wondered how long I would stay in Ireland, so I said that only another half a year.

"And you wanna come back here?" He asked suddenly.

"Oh, I'd love to. I'm trying to find a job either in Carlow or Kilkenny," I said enthusiastically.

Then I fell silent, looked at him and assured him "Definitely."

Each time he looked up into my eyes, I saw an incredibly nice person in front of me. Something in his silent expression suggested that he had suffered great deal of pain in life, but that he was now completely reconciled with his fate. Still, in his eyes shone a spark of unrelenting humor. In his company I forgot all about the world. I was happy to be able to make such an affluent and warm contact with him. The longer we knew each other, the closer we were.

When he wanted to go to the toilet, Stephen told him that the men's toilets were behind the bar and the ladies in front of the bar. It sounded like he wasn´t quite sure which one would Jim prefer.

But Jim didn´t care much and set off to the men's. I admit it made me laugh a little.

Then we continued our dialogue. I mentioned that I read both his and Phoebe's book, but that I couldn´t find his book anywhere in the stores. He confirmed that it´s out of print at the minute.

When I told him that I had stolen his book at the local library, he laughed and said that I should have asked him and he would have given me a copy, but he only had Italian version.

Finally, the band started to play. Everyone in the pub stood up and whole lot of us - as we were tucked in at the back, climbed onto the window ledges. I stood next to Jim, who remained seated.

He looked a little bit run over. I knew he was surrounded by the loneliness and I watched him with sadness. I lacked much power or words to comfort him. It was only after some wonderful songs that we both joined and got up. He could not remain sad in such a loving and friendly company for ever.

When he noticed the enormous, life-vibrant energy that only Queen music could produce in conjunction with a crowd of people singing, I think he forgot his personal pain. I could see pride in his face. He stood up and watched the band. Then he addressed me and made me come up onto the ledge above him to see better. I would not listen to anybody else, but from him it didn´t sound like an order. He wanted me to get the most out of it and it pleased me. Then we sat back and drank. Jim seemed to be getting cheerful and livelier. The more he drank, the more cheerful he was. The guys ordered him Red Bull with vodka. When I asked him if it was vodka, he claimed it was white lemonade! He put a warm glass of "vodka" on my hand, so I almost jumped out of my skin, which he thought was terribly funny.

Whatever he did, he looked at me as though I was the only person who knew what was behind his looks. His faces and funny grimaces reminded me of Freddie. He had a lot of subconsciously inherited poses and gestures from him. Even in his laughter I could detect an influence of Freddie's strong personality. He simply marked all people around him. It was not the same contagious and stormy laugh, but there was a spark of resemblance.

His niece Jacqueline, Valerie and Stephen, danced all the time on the ledge and Jim was pulling them and wrapping himself in between their legs, hugging them, clinging to them, and messing around like a little boy. It was a wonderful sight, as he was so happy and childish.

After some time, Jim lost himself in a crowd of concert goers, so I went to look for him. Without his company it felt such a sad place. It was as if he had fallen through the ground, which made me very nervous. Finally, I found him by the entrance table, where he was joking away with one old blonde, not too different from frivolous Barbara Valentin. I asked him for a photo together. At first he looked impenetrable but as soon as I threw a sad eye and smirked, he brightened up and agreed as if saying "You know you can, anything for you, darling"

His niece Valerie took our picture. He then whispered to me that he hopes I´ll send him some pictures later.

After that he announced that we are going back inside to listen to the band.

I saw them from close-up and I must say that it was much better to just hear them. They looked rather too comic with all their wigs. It was something that would make Freddie laugh too.

I told Jim that they don´t look very natural,which he agreed with, but he said he couldn´t complain about their music. He was totally right, because musically they weren´t bad and the singer had a very authentic voice.

Inside, everybody was dancing and Jim joined in and circled around them like a rogalo.

The whole pub vibrated with intense and loving energy. There was no one who would be bored. Jim then threw himself in the arms of his two nieces, who gently caressed him in his hair and embraced him. He let them take care of him, now vulnerable like a little lost child all of a sudden.

There was something deeply touching about it. He had closed his eyes and sadly lowered his head, as if his tears flowed deep inside, in his invisible world. I realized at this stage, how much he really loved Freddie. I was looking at him and I had a desire to caress him and comfort him but instead, I had to stand aside.

"You can have everything and yet feel alone", Freddie once said. But I was glad Jim had his family and friends around him, who cared and protected him. Jim was going through sorrow and joy,both at the same time, it seemed.

During one of his many shananigans, I caught him messing around with his niece's boyfriend.

He sat him on his knees and imitated sexual intercourse. It would seem offensive and utterly crazy to someone who didn´t know him. But we all did. Jim was laughing like crazy and when he finally looked at me, he seemed a little embarrassed by his behavior and gave me a look that said"I hope you won´t tell on me to Freddie"...but it was hard to take him seriously.

We both smiled conspiratorially at each other. In that sense, our relationship no matter how short-lived, was special. We understood one another in thoughts. He winked at me a couple of times, tapping my beer like an old buddy.

In one moment in particular, Jim leaned over me and whispered: "You as a fan have right to be crazy, but them" ... pointing at our dancing group of friends ... " they are fucked up", he said with smile and he began to knock his finger against his forehead. An international gesture that doesn´t need an interpreter!

Jim then went to the toilets for a while, and I, like a stray sheep, followed him through crowds of oblivious dancers. He was somewhat drunk at that time and barely retained a balance. He staggered a little like a broken tree. No surprise after god knows how many Red bulls and vodkas! I was bit afraid for him, so I supported him inconspicuously by both shoulders from behind. He went to the toilet and cared too little to even close the door behind him. If anyone was looking, he would see Jim Hutton pissing in a toilet bowl in his bright canary shirt.

At that moment they played the most touching song of all, These are the Days of our lives .... I stood by the door and listened, watching the band and waited for Jim. I don´t know why, perhaps because of the fate that brought me here, I suddenly felt terrible sorrow. I was sorry for Freddie and Jim. Tears poured into my eyes. I didn´t cry, but was very close to it. Jim suddenly appeared next to me and noticed my face. "What about those tears? I hope you don´t cry", but at this stage I was lost for words. His concern made me sad even more. Something inside me forced me to caress him. I hugged him gently around his neck and put my head on his shoulder for a moment. I wanted to let him know that I am very sorry about what happened to Freddie. He did not resist. He knew he wasn´t the only one in the world who was missing him. I looked into his eyes, and I told him a sentence that I didn´t know why I said, but I strongly felt it..."Jim, he's here, he IS here." His expression was rather confused at first. "Do you believe me?" ... I said this with a seriousness and a certain degree of self-assurance that he froze for a while. He looked thoughtful. He knew what I was talking about.

I seemed to only confirm his inner conviction. He didn´t say a word. He wiped my tear away with the edge of his hand and without warning, took me firmly by the hand and led me through crowds back to our friends. There was a lot of care and love in his touch. The music was just playing and Freddie just sang "I still love you" and I knew he did.

I didn´t want to leave, but I knew I said everything I needed to. I could not leave without saying goodbye. It would be a sin after all this to just disappear into eternity. I interrupted him from the conversation with someone else, leaned over the table and said, "Jim, I'm leaving now, so I want to say goodbye, it was great pleasure meeting you." I smiled as much as my heart allowed me to and shook his hand. He stared up and thought for a moment, and then, without any hesitance said, "We do not see each other for the last time." I didn´t know at this time how true his words were.

I thought I did not understand well, so I asked again, "sorry?" and he repeated patiently and more resolutely, "I shall surely see you again," while taking my hand into his hands and kissing it gently.

He left me in amazement. I stumbled out from there perplexed but still I could hear him talking about me to someone there. He probably said he hadn´t seen a bigger nutcase in a long time, assuming from his cute teddybear smile. Gosh I loved him so much!

The next day I learned from my friends that Jim was looking next morning for his jacket that he had forgotten in his car. Few days later, I've sent him the promised photographs. Jacquie confirmed that he called in to say he had received them allright.”

2001

“...And then I returned back to Ireland in 2004.

I had the opportunity to welcome Jim to my own home in Carlow sometime in 2006. He was Stephen´s surprise. When the door opened up, I didn´t see him at first.

Then his head popped out from the side of the door and with a laugh he emerged a bit later. He hugged me like we hadn´t seen each other for million years. What I felt at that moment was indescripable. My dear Jim back in my life and in my own house!

We all sat in the living room, Jim settled down on the sofa, I was sitting on the ground and absorbed the precious moments because I knew time spent with him was only borrowed time. Then we watched Queen videos and talked about Freddie as if he were in the next room. It was so surreal. Me and Jim agreed that our favorite video was Scandal, and he just added that Freddie didn´t like it very much because he couldn´t make any creative input in it, although he loved the song.

Then we talked about his illness, about him taking up to 40 pills a day to sustain his health and he also explained the difference between AIDS and HIV, as many people still didn´t know. We have talked so much and - above all - we laughed all night, almost at everything. It was so easy to succumb to his funny personality once again and to his heartfelt laughter. He made jokes about fancying my ex-boyfriend, whom he lied on top of on the sofa. Long time ago, I´ve sent him a letter explaining to him how Freddie has impacted my life. But I've forgotten I´ve ever written it and now I was faced with the horror that I actually have sent it. I hoped he has forgotten about it, but when Jim and I met in the corridor of our house, I couldn´t but apologize to him for that letter, and for being so daring. To my surprise, he looked at me softly with his tired eyes and assured me that my letter was absolutely fascinating. Then we were interrupted by Stephen, who was just leaving a toilet and the conversation was cut short at that point. Unfortunatelly I would never have the chance to find out what was the next thing he was about to say, because I noticed he wanted to continue, if he weren´t interrupted.

When we were saying goodbye at the door, he treated me as an old friend. He simply kissed me on the lips, which utterly shocked me and made me laugh at the same time.

He invited us back to his house to have a little party, but my ex-boyfriend was not in the perfect mood and so we politely declined, which I will forever regret!

About a year after that I bumped into Jim several times in the city where we both lived, or we exchanged text messages whenever I needed to advise what room flowers would be best for our new house. Sometimes I learnt about how he´s doing through my ex-boyfriend, who used to hang out with him and drink few pints in a night bar. Once my ex confessed how Jim told him that I was a great person and he should be happy to have me. They must have been talking about me!!!!

Then I met Jim one night in the nightclub, where he was with his friends. He spent most of his time sitting in the lounge smoking a cigarette, having fun with younger girls. Wherever he was, you heard his laughter. That night my ex-boyfriend arranged for Jim and me to have a dance together.

Jim was just dancing on the dancefloor with some older woman. I remember he had his jumper tied around his waist. I just got onto the dancefloor, he looked at me all serious and pulled me close to him. It was some tediously slow song that I can´t even remember, I just know that we were staggering from side to side like two handiccaped penguins and that made me laugh hysterically.

He was such a clown! Now, however, I consider this moment as one of the most precious memories of him. It was my night.

Back in 2009, I have learned that Jim was diagnosed with cancer. My ex-boyfriend told me how concerned Jim was when informing him. He said, he wept. At that time I didn´t know how serious the situation was and I hoped Jim will get better in no time. I believed the doctors would somehow help him out of it. I saw him a little later at work when he came to our restaurant for breakfast.

I almost served him as another customer, but when I realized it was him, I pulled myself back into the kitchen and let the other girls serve him. He never noticed. I was in such state of shock. I didn´t know what to do, how to act and what to say. He was so thin, just skin and bone. His face was sinking, his eyes full of pain, a small tube leading from his nose to the oxygen device he carried in his backpack and a small canvas hat on his head. I couldn´t believe this was Jim, whom I have remembered being so full of life and joy only half a year ago. I wanted to cry like never before. I also felt embarassed by my own cowardly reaction. I wished more than anything in my life to hug him and say I loved him. I wanted to wish him a happy Christmas. But I was scared of my own tears, which would not help him in his situation.

I wrote him a message on the phone, but he didn´t respond. And then I got the terrible news. Jim died and somehow I also missed his funeral. I took a first taxi and went at least to his months Mass and visited his grave, bringing him daffodils and little white lantern with candle. It was so hard for me. His relatives stood above his grave. I said my prayers in a minute of silence. The air didn´t move and the moon was full in the night sky. It was dark and cold all around but I didn´t care.

I wanted to see him laugh and mess around like he used to. It was as if another star had disappeared and fell to the earth. If only life could last forever.”

2006-2010

Credits to Seraphiel’s blog. Please don’t repost without credits.

#jim hutton

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mauiphotographers1 · 3 years ago

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What Your Wedding Photographer Wants to Tell You, But Can't

It's no secret that all couples are continuously on the lookout for a professional photographer, who is capable of taking the pinnacle in perfect wedding photos, and the chances are, your wedding photographer would like the opportunity in order to capture your special day and provide you with those perfect wedding photos too. The key to amazing photos is purely down to communication. And unfortunately, since not all professional wedding photographers may not want to tell you what they truly think (out of politeness), this article is here to do it for them.

Your wedding photographer doesn't own a crystal ball.

Although they wish that they did, your wedding photographer is unable to read your mind and anticipate what it is that you really want. This means it's your responsibility to be upfront and tell them exactly what you want and the things that you don't want. It's recommended to provide your photographer with a short list of photographs that you would like from your special day.

Photographers are not magicians.

Your wedding photographer will do their best to get the shots that you want, but they are unlikely to make your wedding look like it's come out of a high-end movie. You may have also seen something on Pinterest that you like, even though it's great to have inspiration, your photographer is an artist and may be reluctant to copy another photographer's work, so don't expect your wedding photographs to be identical to someone else's.

You can just Photoshop that out, right?

It all depends on what 'that' is. Your wedding photographer will want to get everything as perfect as physically possible on camera. Location scouting, posing, and camera settings are able to 'fix' most things before the click of the shutter. However, if a family member decides to inappropriately photo bomb you during your shoot, your photographer will want to retake the photograph again. It's far easier to get your wedding photo right the first time than to fix it with Photoshop later. Many photographers will often charge for extensive levels of Photoshop editing, as the process can be extremely time-consuming.

Allow your wedding photographer plenty of time.

Timelines and plenty of planning will make your photographer very happy. Nevertheless, the need to be flexible is still there. To get that perfect shot may require some time, which make take longer than you originally thought. For quality photographs, don't rush your photographer! If you want your photographer to capture most of the coverage in Documentary, Candid style then any timeframe is fine. know more here Maui photographers

Don't forget to clean up!

When your wedding photographer is due to take photos of the bride and groom getting ready for their special day, don't forget to clean up! Half eaten breakfast serial, spilt fresh orange and empty coffee cups aren't something you want to spot on your photographs.

It's unlikely that you will see each and every single photo that was taken.

The truth behind this matter is that you probably don't want to see each and every single photograph. A wedding photographer's job is to filter through all of your photographs and select only the best ones. These photos will then go through the painstaking task of finely editing them. Editing over a 1,000 (if not far more) photos will not happen.

The importance of being flexible.

Your wedding photographer understands that you most probably don't wish to spend your entire day taking a multitude of different photos. But if there is a unique moment that presents itself, it's highly recommended that you go with it.

Make sure that you make me look good on my wedding photos.

The truth of the matter is, sometimes couples discover that they absolutely despise their wedding photos, either it's because of the position they are in, or the odd grimace smile that they held. Nevertheless, your photographer should always make you feel comfortable and relaxed and suggest positions and poses that look and most importantly, feel natural to you and your partner. If you are in a pose that feels unnatural, communicate with your photographer, (although you may have chosen wrong photographer), everybody must feel comfortable else it will show through on the photos. Remember to always relax and make sure that you leave extra time between your photo shoot and your next thing on your list so that you don't feel rushed. Every wedding is different. Some prefer to have the shoot of the day in a Documentary candid way, some are OK to have some sort of setup photos, so how much time you need it's really up to you, but also ask your photographer if their style of photography require more time or less. Make sure that you get plenty of sleep the night before your big day, drink plenty of water and avoid the hangovers so that you look full of energy, bright, and cheery for your photographs!

Your service seems a little expensive. Can I get a discount?

Unknown to many people, wedding photographers perform a LOT of work. It's not all about pressing a finger on a button in order to gain the best photographs. There is all the pre-planning that is involved, getting the equipment, travel, editing, and much more.

I want my wedding photos to look like my friend's wedding photos; they look like they were taken on old film.

It's important to remember that each and every photographer has their own unique and personal way of editing their photographs using computer software. This is process is called "Post-Processing." It's not uncommon for photographers to do some form of basic lighting and colour adjustments. There are many great styles, not only 'old film' that look absolutely stunning on wedding photos, why not consider a clean, lightly processed photo in order to appear natural or how about a matte low-contrast appearance with muted pastel colours? You may even wish to go with high contrast photographs for rich colours that pop! Whatever style of photography you prefer, always remember they will never be identical to another photographer, each photographer has their own style! So be sure you like it before hiring them.

Sorry, but can I book you last minute?

Professional wedding photographers are always in high-demand and it's very rare that they can just show up last minute to your wedding. It's recommended to book your wedding photographer up to 6 to 12 months in advance to ensure that you book the photographer that you want. As your wedding date approaches, you'll find it more and more difficult to book your first-choice wedding photographer. If your preferred wedding photographer is unavailable on the date of your wedding, don't panic and don't stress! Simply ask them for any recommendations. A photographer will no doubt know of someone who has a similar style for your day.

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keatonrow · 5 years ago

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Planning Festival Outfits- My Picks and Experiences in Raves [2020]

It's rave season, and we're so excited. We got so many festivals coming up, but you have plant outfits. How do you go about doing it today? I'm going to share with you some tips and tricks on how I like to plan my festival? Outfits - hey guys future ash here. So I wrote this post before all the Covid19 craziness and social distancing went into effect, but I think it's still a fun way for us to pass the time to support small businesses and to have something to look forward to in our time off.

Planning Festivals Outfits

So, let's have some fun. Let's plan some mens EDC outfits. I like to create content around self-care bucket lists, adventures, and festivals, and rays, and today we're going to talk all about rave fastness, so you know it can be tough in this Instagram culture. There are great creams all around us, and it can be tough to like focus and plan your outfits cuz. You know you want to feel good. You want to express yourself, and that's the beauty of raves. I love just showing up to a show expressing myself through my fashion through my accessories, and I'm feeling in the moment, but you know sometimes it's not that easy for people to pull together outfits themselves.

My Process of seleting the best festival outfits

So today, I thought I would share my process with you. I'm going to share with you the process that I take specifically for EDC Las Vegas, but you can take this process for any rave or festival that you're going to be going to this year. There are a variety of different ways that you can tackle this. You can start with a set so, as you could start with a bodysuit or Topete set and create your outfits around that and accessorize based on that, or you can start with a theme me personally.

I love starting with a theme, and it helps to grow to me to understand what kind of look and vibe I'm going for, and then it also helps my rate fan. We tend to like to dress up and complement each other in the group. So we'll pick a theme, and we'll base all of our outfits around that for EDC Las Vegas people, it's kind of like the rave Superbowl.

That's how I like to think of it, and people go all out for EDC Las Vegas. So for me, I like to stay organized and to do that. I make vision boards in already talked about making a vision board for your New Year's resolutions. Still, you can make a lookbook or vision board for anything that you're cheating if you're creating your brand, your own business, I strongly us making vision boards.

I am a market researcher in my free time, and one of the things that we do is we like to test around brand imagery and what is both the personality and just the zest and pizazz of a brand through a vision board, so think of it. That way, you're creating a sense of who you want to be what costume you like the vibe you want to put on for the evening.

So what I like to do is I like to first sit down with my rave family, and we make a list of themes. Will jot down, and we'll just kind of brainstorm, a list of themes, and those can be inspired around the festival theme so for this year. EDC theme is kinetics in so it could be a couple of themes based around that whole concept, or it could just be themes that are relevant and make sense to you and your rave family.

So this year we have right now three themes that are kind of our top themes that we're basing our outfits around the first one is kind of like a purple kind of monochromatic black girl magic moment. The second one is played on lyrics. So, even though cash games not going to be there, one of my favorite songs of all time is an angel on my shoulders.

We're kind of doing a play on that, where we're doing angels and devils. So that's kind of like one team and then the last theme we're going to rep Chicago, and we're going to wear our Chicago gear, and all of our offices will be around either sports teams or something relevant to Chicago. Once I have all of those themes, I create a vision board for each of those themes, and in there.

Festival Accessories

I'll list out some important things like the accessories where I'm going to get all of the items that are in my out my outfit I'll. Even put pictures of the makeup look that I want to portray a couple of inspirations for that and then kind of what we're all the retailers where I'm finding these things so that I can start to accumulate them and get them over time. Because you don't want to wait till last minute and then you don't have a plan, so I'm going to share with you now how I create those boards, and you're going to follow along with me on the process.

So I create all of my boards in Illustrator I have the entire Adobe cloud Creative Cloud subscription. So that's what I use, but you can use whatever you have at your disposal, whether it be apps you can use Microsoft Word you could use even PowerPoint whatever you have, that has some kind of collaging tool. You can use this. I'm also going to show it. You an alternative later, but before you get started, here are some examples of different boards that I did last year for EDC one day, one we went as kind of elements from the periodic table day. Two was kind of like a black all black rep, your DJ's look.

Custom Crop Tops are my favorite

So we did custom crop tops from slap clean, and then day three, we did the elements. So I was water, and then I also created boards for my mom as well with those themes and in mind. So as you can see, the lots to do here, so how I start I first I go on Pinterest. I usually start aboard for the current year for EDC, where I can just have all of my ideas in one spot, and I will pin things that I'm finding interesting. If I'm going for a specific theme, I will type in here, you see, I'm looking for my angel and doubles theme, so I have an angel rave outfit, and I just use that as inspiration.

But you know you go outside of that as you go along throughout the year, you'll just get different elements and different trends that attract you. You can, you know, pin them from Instagram, pin them basically from wherever you find inspiration, and then you have It all in one spot. I also make sure that I will completely include accessories and makeup looks here, you're noticing that I'm doing the next process. These are screen grabs from my Pinterest board, and I'm selecting all the ones that relate to the theme that I'm going to start to arrange, so for, in this case, it's going to be for my black girl magic purple theme.

How does Pinterest help me in finding Rave Outfits

So I'm pulling all of those references, and then they end up saving on my desktop. Sometimes it can get kind of wonky savings depends on your desktop just because they're on they're, coming and derived from certain websites. So it's just easier for me to cut down the process here, so I go through. I start to make all the pins for all of those, and then what I do is I will start by creating a text box, and this has like all the details around my theme.

So here the theme is black girl magic, and then I talk through where I'm getting my set from or my outfit from what fabric I'm using. If it is going to be custom, where I'm getting fabric from to reference, if you know the shop already has it or if I'm going to order the fabric custom itself, any special accessories, so light-up crown maybe a body chain belt.

If I'm doing a DIY, making sure that I'm specific about what that is because I always create something unique myself, just to add my spin on to it and then any other accessories. I always make sure that I add you know: details embellishments the shops That I'm buying everything at the websites that I'm buying it at, and obviously because I am in erotic, I will make sure that everything is formatted correctly.

I move it up into this gray box. So I can see everything and oh yeah. I also add in the color themes what color schemes am I going for what colors are going to complement each other and kind of something to like the ground the outfit in now I take all of my snaps, and I start with you know. If there is a pattern or a piece of fabric or anything, that's kind of my backdrop to give kind of this feeling and the vibe that I'm going for.

Then I'll add in all of the different parts that I'm inspired by. I'm just basically doing a huge dump of all of the images that I had on my Pinterest, and then I shrink those down to one size so that I can see everything, and then I just start to arrange meetings around seeing what complements each other.

Putting together different images can help a lot

I have a lot of images. I didn't realize how much I pinned so from there. I just start to kind of look at what I have, and I may remove some images that seem kind of repetitive or have a similar reference to them. So make sure that you know if they're pretty similar, then I'll just select one and get rid of the others, and then I just kind of keep resizing and keep moving things around until it kind of all fits so right. Now, you're probably looking at this process, and you're like a girl, nobody got time for that.

So here's a little hack, you can use the Instagram layout app to select all the different pieces of your outfit, and I actually use this on the backend just so I can make sure, as I'm ordering and making my final selection that everything goes well together and complement each other - and I also will share this with some of the people that I'm ordering from so that they can see the vibe. It's a great way to reference as you continue planning and as you're getting ready today up. So that's how I create my vision, boards for each of my outfits, and you get a sneak peek of the vibe I'm going with for EDC this year.

A couple of other tips in terms of what you should think about wearing when you're going to a rave or big festival like EDC Las Vegas, is your shoes need to be comfortable? You know you can find shoes that match each of your outfits for each of the days. I know a lot of girls like to kind of you know, change up their shoes for each night, and you could do that, but you need to make sure they're comfortable.

Most important are the shoes tht you plan for your festival outfits

I like flat shoes, and I'm not trying to wear heels. It'S concrete, you're, walking around for hours upon hours and your feet are going to hurt, so just make sure that the shoes that you're pairing with your outfits are comfortable and that you've had time to break them in those are just rules of thumb that you have To follow but feel free to accessorize and change them from day to day, just make sure that they're broken in by the time that you get to EDC.

The other tip that I would have is, even though I'm doing all this, and I'm planning all of it. Always always always have backups anything. The biggest thing that I learned from last year is that the weather is unpredictable, and I know that everyone's saying that, but we were freezing one of the most memorable. Bonding experiences was showing up to ATM mid strip and seeing all of the ravers in H,

#Planning Festival Outfits #festival outfit #rave clothing

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ninevillains · 5 years ago

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so i'm trying to draw a picture of a dude in a bathing suit... i was wondering if you could give me some pointers? especially in the anatomy lol

Sure! Excuse me if I go into too much detail. Or not enough! Feel free to message me again if you still have questions after this.

Short version:

1. Find a reference picture or two

2. Copy or analyze/reconstruct the image(s) to the best of your ability. (If you’re going to share your art publicly, you should use a license-free image, or credit/ask the owner – assuming that your art and the reference are clearly similar.)

3. ???

4. Profit

Long version:

1. Gather good reference

Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, Youtube, Google… the internet is full of attractive people. Find some pictures that look close to the result you want. I like workout videos or TV/movie scenes because it’s always useful to see your subject from multiple angles, and I can select the exact frames that look best to me.

Sometimes I use little action figures, or 3D models in apps like Skelly or Handy, when I’m trying to figure out a pose. You can also use pics of yourself or friends. A big mirror or a smartphone is all you need to be your own model.

Don’t hesitate to take inspiration from art you really like. Instead of copying it, analyze why it appeals to you, and see how you can apply that in your own work.

2. Draw the pose first!

One of my favorite general principles in art is to work from big to small, or general to specific.

Try to capture the basic shape and position of the pose before you consider individual muscles. Place the head, torso, and limbs as flat boxy shapes using straight lines or simple curves.

At this stage it’s still easy to make changes and correct things. Don’t rush ahead to the muscles before you’re satisfied with the pose.

This is more or less how I start a figure:

(Both of these dudes are missing a cranium, and there are other proportion issues, so don’t mistake this as reference for anything but the overall drawing approach.)

3. Think of muscles as flat shapes

Muscles are complex interlocking 3D forms, but you don’t have to think of them that way in the beginning, especially if you’re sticking close to your reference. It’s easier to map the positions of the muscles onto your blocked-in pose with straight lines and basic curves, just like you did for the head, torso, and limbs. (See the chest of the second figure I posted above.)

This step is all about creating a clear guide for your final lines.

4. Final lines (or) additional steps

At this point you can make the contour more realistic, get the muscles just right, and add in more details from your reference, because you’ve got the pose established and you’ve figured out where all the major shapes are placed. If you tried to do this all at once, without blocking in the pose, you’d probably end up with a figure that’s way out of proportion.

For the final lines, work on top of your sketch. If it’s a traditional drawing, erase the sketch with a kneaded eraser until you can barely see it. If it’s a digital drawing, just lower the opacity of your sketch layer and make a new layer for your final lines on top.

If you’re familiar with constructive drawing (using perspective knowledge to translate your 2D drawing into basic 3D shapes, like wireframes), now is a good time to take your sketch further, using cross-contour lines and more accurate forms to define the figure in 3D space. Then you can do the final line work, or move on to the lighting or coloring phase.

Art is hard, so try to keep things simple and focus on one thing at a time. I try to think in a step-by-step way even when I ignore my own advice and rush to finish a drawing.

Generally speaking, the pose and overall proportions are much more important than detailed anatomy. Anatomy is the icing on the cake.

Resources for learning!

I should say that the main thing I covered in this post is an approach to blocking in a figure from reference. I left out a lot of the form building stuff that I rely on for most of my work, because it’s a huge subject, and you can get great results without all the complications if you use good reference.

To get the most out of your reference, it helps to learn observational drawing. Dorian Iten’s accuracy guide has some very useful tips.

In addition to observational drawing from reference, I use a constructive drawing approach, which I learned from resources like this:

Draw a Box - A great intro to constructive drawing. Highly recommended.

Figure Drawing: Design and Invention by Michael Hampton - Great to study after you know basic form construction, and before you dig too deep into anatomy.

My all time favorite figure drawing teacher is Steve Huston. Brilliant teacher and equally good artist. His book, Figure Drawing for Artists: Making Every Mark Count, is the single best guide to figure drawing that I’ve found. Also check out his lessons on New Masters if you want to get really serious.

Bryan Lee has posted a lot of great figure drawing tutorials and notes on his DeviantArt page. You can dig up most of the good stuff in his Tutorials section, and by searching his gallery for notes.

—

My ego is forcing me to add a disclaimer: More experienced artists will see that the work I post here doesn’t really do justice to the principles I mentioned. Trust me, I know my doodles are a horror show of errors. This is my fanart blog for chillaxing and trying very hard not to be the perfectionist who hates everything that’s not fit for a professional portfolio.

#my asks #art advice #not art

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charlicpace · 6 years ago

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( 1 ) NEW EMAIL. YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE GRAND OPENING OF MAD WORLD. Welcome to the madness. Feel free to explore the city, have a drink, embark on a quest. Don't worry about any rumours you might have heard. We have everything under control. Hey Pace! Madworldshq is a new appless rp based on Westworld on Black Mirror, where guests are staying in an AI filled park in which a human has just been found dead. Could we please get an opinion from you? Thanks in advance!

you sure can ! i’m just gonna quickly link you here, as i gave a full disclaimer on how my opinions work and all that jazz, but tldr: my opinion is literally just my opinion and doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but i’m always going to be nice about things and say things as constructively as possible ! being an admin and running an rp is hard, and i truly appreciate that ! no matter what i say, you’re doing great ! p.s thank you for inadvertently reminding me to watch the new season of black mirror !

FIRST IMPRESSION. first off, my immediate thought was ‘dang, this looks good.’ even from just the aesthetic of the main alone, i’m intrigued. the colour scheme looks great ! something else i noticed immediately is that the gif icons being used on the main are a good size; i personally hate it when gifs are impossibly small and even if that’s just a personal pet peeve, it might’ve put me off a little if i were looking at the rp in a ‘i want to find an rp to join’ kind of way, and not a ‘i’m gonna see what i think of this here rp because these two kind souls asked me to.’ p.s excellent mascot choices ! both from a biased, person-with-opinions point of view, and from an objective pov as i feel like using poc on the main can often encourage people to join with more diverse fcs, which is fair enough ! i also absolutely adore admin tabs, and although it’s a tiny thing, it always makes me happy when rps have one ! my only negative thought comes from the size of the contained section of the theme; it’s a little small for my personal taste ( but again, i’m only one person ) but the size of the text is good, and i can read the posts on the main without trouble* !

AFTER LOOKING A LITTLE FURTHER INTO THE RP.the welcome page is genius. i’m immediately thrown into the world of the rp ( which is also achieved by the format of the opinion request ! ) and the warning is very much appreciated. it both shows that you care about the well-being of those checking out your rp, and that you’re serious about enforcing the 18+ rule, and i love and appreciate both of those things. *as i went further and clicked the link to read the plot, i am gonna have to admit that i added /mobile to the end of the url just to make reading it easier for me, and continued to do so while browsing the other pages.

getting to the point, i absolutely love the plot, and adore the way it’s written. i easily got a sense of the world you guys have built, but you managed to write something that does that successfully without it being too much info all in one go. while all the info on the ins and outs of the world being on one page can be appreciated, i feel like immediately being faced with a massive block of text can be off-putting to a lot of people, if that makes sense ? you guys have found a really great balance by having the basic plot be the first thing you see, and further information being linked to then read after. it’s such a good idea, and the thought and imagination put in is really evident; you’ve created something really amazing, to be honest.

when it comes to rules, i feel like all of them are fair ! your activity rule is pretty reasonable, and i like the added mention of welcoming people back but not allowing people to take advantage of that. in terms of character rules, everything seems very reasonable, and i think the rules for applying for more than one character are all pretty great, and something i’d find to be a plus if i were thinking about applying. i also love that you’re willing to put anybody on the banned list that your members are uncomfortable with, as again that shows that you’re dedicated to your members and care about their comfort and well-being ( but clarifying that you won’t ask folks to change the fc of somebody already accepted is a smart move; people can be so difficult when it comes to fcs and expecting you to make people change them after already accepting them. you guys clearly know what you’re doing ! ) however, it might be worth putting the obligatory ‘deceased people, people convicted of serious crimes, etc’ on there, too; i know it should be a given by now, but people really are fools sometimes, y’know ? the only rule that made me raise an eyebrow was the age cap being thirty-five, as i love an ‘older’ muse personally and while usually that might initially put me off, your explanation when asked about it actually makes a lot of sense ! it’s also impressive that you’ve thought about it deeply enough to come to that conclusion, and care about bubbling enough to put it in place ! although i was originally like ‘oof, why ?’ when i actually got to answer, i for sure see why and actually agree !

i always love an faq page, and everything is explained well and answered concisely. it’s one of those tiny things that’s always a selling point for me, and i’m glad to see you guys have one, especially because the way everything is answered also makes it clear that, again, you guys are good admins and care about your members and potential members. the admins were always the biggest selling point when i’d be looking for an rp, and i can say i’d be comfortable applying and being in a group run by you two from what i’ve seen. it also translates to the posts on the main; you’re just running things really well, and it’s admirable !

i love your app. having little reminders of the rules as well as some general application-etiquette is such a good idea, and going to save you guys so much tomfoolery when those apps start flying in at lighting speed ! having people provide a little bit more than the standard app is one of my favourite things to see in an app, especially because it’ll help weed out the people that don’t have a solid grasp of their character yet and will lose muse within a few days, and as an applicant i always have a love of fun creating playlists or whipping something up in photoshop or on pinterest ! also, including the ooc questions is such a good idea, and very considerate – not only does it make things easier for you, but again it makes it clear that you’re genuinely care about your members and what everyone to be included. before i keep gushing about things i love, i do just also wanna quickly add that having the example app be for a non-binary character again will help bring in more NB muses, as people will know their non-cis muses are safe and welcome with you !

other things i love and could gush about for an unreasonable amount of time: - the added extras of the playlist & pinterest board, as it really helps people get invested in the world you’ve built.- the banned & taken fcs lists being in alphabetical order. it’s such a tiny thing, but it makes life so much easier and i appreciate it. - the credits page ! very considerate, and a smart move !- having a triggers page in general, but especially the way you guys are specifically approaching it, and encouraging people to be smart and tag anything that needs it, as well as having the list.

there is a tiny thing i noticed, though, and that’s that the rules page says characters can be as young as twenty, and the app page says nineteen ! other than that tiny typo, y’all have created something that’s pretty perfect ! i’m so, so impressed, and my overall opinion is that i love this rp, would rec it to anybody, and i wish you all the best and hope you thrive ! you’ve clearly thought about everything and are dedicated to the world you’ve built. katie and gabby, you’re doing bloody amazing, and i wish you all the luck in the world !

i always wanna add on the end of these, the good ol’ ‘would i join ?’ and the answer is a massive yes ! if i were group-inclined, you’d be seeing an app from me in a heartbeat !

#rph #rpc #rpa #madworldshq #opinions & reviews #rec #and in a big way!!!!#however i'm sorry this is so messily done! my head's been all over the place and i'm having a bit of trouble concentrating #but hopefully this is somewhat coherent! the general gist is I LOVE

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viktorbezic · 6 years ago

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Double Dribbble: Losing Out To Homogenous Design

I’m not deliberately trying to single out dribbble here. Dribbble is typically used as the poster child and a culprit for homogenous design. Not gonna lie. I wanted to use the title Double Dribbble, while also highlighting what happens when we all use the same sources of online inspiration. IE. The sea of sameness effect. After the demise of FFFFound where I’d uncover all sorts of new visuals, there were no platforms that provided serendipitous discovery until Are.na came along. But getting offline, going through old books, traveling, making trips to galleries, looking at things from different disciplines helps. If your only source of inspiration are the most popular Dribbble shots, or the top UI Pinterest boards, algorithmically served, of course, it’s very likely you’ll come up with something that looks just like the sum total of what you’ve consumed. Ideas come from different recombinations of existing ideas and knowledge. This is true of all creative disciplines. The more unique the combination, the higher the chance of leading to a significant breakthrough (1).

There are many culprits from an over-reliance on data, a focus on utilitarianism, the re-use of the same frameworks, and designing templates without a feel for the content. Why am I writing about this? Hasn’t this piece been done before? Sure it has. But every now again I get bored to tears by digital and UI design and go on the hunt for folks who are pushing the boundary. It’s also a good exercise to re-ignite my own interest in a design discipline that I’ve been involved some, way shape or form over the past decade. I share a similar sentiment to Marc Kremers, “Too many sites are just exercises in good, generically appealing taste. Anyone can do that. It’s super boring.” (2)

I’ve reflected on how we got here not only to push myself but to also highlight some of the pieces I go back to and re-read. Disclaimer: I’ve been guilty of going the templated approach on side projects I’ve launched. I also use a bought template on Tumblr. I’m in the process of rolling my own. So I’m part of the problem as well.

How we got here.

Clean, workable, well-designed interfaces are the baseline. When you get to this point, you’re not finished. There’s still more to be done. I’ve re-read Yaaron Schoen’s piece “In Defense of Homogenous Design” and do agree with some of Schoen’s points. There are some learned behaviors and existing digital design paradigms. Examples include, pull to refresh, swipe to dismiss, underlined hyperlinks, etc. The argument as Schoen presents them go something like this: “This is great. We’re teaching people how to use digital products and if your digital product looks similar, all good. Jackets look the same, we know where the pockets are.” It makes sense, but my gut feeling is this line of thinking can stop us from really evolving a design (3). I know some restraint needs to be exercised so care needs to be taken as you select the right opportunities to level up on. There needs to be some expressive elements and a human touch. If all we did were the basics we wouldn’t need designers. All we would need are the UI frameworks to paint by numbers with.

We can’t always stick to existing paradigms.

There are instances when we can’t always stick to existing paradigms. One example was highlighted in a designer news thread by Renee P. that goes something like this: a decade ago people hadn’t heard of “pull to refresh” or “swipe to dismiss.” These new paradigms had to be invented (4). But with every new platform, the paradigms will need to be created or advance as the technology evolves. When I was working at a large holding company owned digital agency, I remember a VR commerce project we made for the high-end retailer. We’d demo it to our clients and teach them an entirely new paradigm for VR navigation (5). Staring at a diamond for a certain amount of time to advance the experience. Once folks learned it, it became second nature. I’m not big on VR but thought it was a good example from first-hand experience. There’s a host of new technologies we are still defining interfaces for. Some that have no UIs at all as with conversational interfaces and multiple dimensions when it comes to AR and mixed reality, etc. In the context of new platforms, screen-based interfaces may need to be recontextualized as people learn new behaviors and paradigms.

The other reason to break an existing paradigm is to infuse some sort of character into the product and put a unique spin on it. The question goes something like this, back to Schoen’s Jacket Principle, what if I don’t want to wear the same jacket as someone else, or design one like someone else? If I had a to design one, I might put extra pockets someplace else. Maybe there’s an act of discovery there. It’s about a point of view and bringing something unique to the table. As Alan Kay stated, “Point of View is worth 80 IQ points”. Which leads me to my next point.

An over-reliance on utilitarianism creates forgettable products.

Brett Bergeron, Creative Director at the digital product design studio This Also, presents an argument in his piece on “Good Enough Design” that we no longer have major constraints that bind us to just focusing on utilitarianism. And by not injecting personality into a digital product you fail to keep people’s attention. “More than ever, we are at a place in technology where interfaces can be utilitarian and emotionally expressive at the same time.” Bergeron uses This Also’s Google Dots case study as one of the examples. Injecting the search giant’s digital ecosystem with personality with the use of playful animations. Through an expressive logomark people understood when Google was doing something magical for them. He goes on to note that by not going beyond functional design a lot of products fall into the usable but forgettable category. A reason needs to be given to keep a product installed and opened again. As Bergeron notes, It’s worthwhile infusing the product with character so it’s differentiated. As a result, it protects the initial investment in building it (6).

Solely relying on web metrics discounts the team’s intuition and experience.

It’s been shown time an and again that a lot of digital metrics are bullshit. Especially with the increasing levels of bot traffic and fraudulent media buys. If you don’t have a core community of people using your product and you are heavily relying on media buys you may have a harder time trusting your metrics. Numerous studies are out with numbers showcasing billions of lost ad dollars to bots and click farms. The former CEO of Reddit came out confirming how bad the problem has become. Even Facebook isn’t able to identify genuine numbers.

You can’t do without metrics. We need them but it’s a single data point that needs to be paired with feedback from your community, user tests, research and any information to help set the appropriate context. Unfortunately, too many times I’ve seen clients afraid to make calls or provide their own point of view and instead fall back on metrics as a cover your ass tactic. “The numbers said so.” Also, let’s hypothetically say web metrics were accurate and bots didn’t exist. To use them exclusively to design anything results in sterile outcomes.

When folks do A/B or multivariate tests it’s typically done as a best effort approach. We question the design more than we do the science behind the testing and the reliability of the tests. It’s the combination of data (from multiple sources) and intuition together. Not taking the design team’s years of intuition and experience in coming up with a solution is a miss. Lastly, metrics are used to optimize for the local maximum. To make incremental improvements to an existing design. They can’t tell you whether or not you need a whole new design altogether.

Doing what you know will work.

There are many reasons why we fall into this trap. The independent digital designer and author Paul Jarvis attributes it to being victims of our own success. “Sometimes successful work can lead to less innovation, and then the real making stops. You become more like a factory production line than a meaningful creator.” We fall back on what works because it’s comfortable. Not only that, but we’d like to re-use as much work from the last time to get to the finish line faster. Do that enough you stunt your skills and growth, and start to lose touch. Boredom slowly sets in. This doesn’t mean we can’t leverage design patterns. It’s about determining how best to apply them (7).

Lack of diversity in thinking and experiences.

The digital artist and game designer, Morgane Santos not only points out that we are making more or less the same thing, but there’s also a cultural element here at play as well. IE. “The Designer Daves” of the world. Male, black wardrobe, 5-panel cap. The lack of people diversity in the digital design world produces one point of view. Diversity matters in producing work that’s different. Numerous studies show this. As Santos notes, “So, this whole designing with empathy thing? It literally cannot happen if all designers have the same background, the same look, the same style.” (8)

Marc Kremers echoed a similar sentiment and also related it back to the culture of being a designer, “I think designers naturally just want to fit in, have a nice, cute life, do nice, cute things. Work hard, be nice to people. Read Kinfolk. Raw denim. Beards. Flat Whites. Nice fonts, nice illustrations, nice design. Go with the flow. Just good, tasteful things, experiences, and activities. And before you know it, your life is an Instagram feed, literally indistinguishable to any other designer’s nice Instagram feed. You melted into the digital soup. I don’t know if this rant makes any sense, but I guess my awareness or fear of this singularity is just naturally percolating in my work. I’m a nice guy though.” (9)

This is an excellent reminder to collaborate with folks who aren’t exactly like you or at least to reach out for feedback and perspectives from more diverse groups. It takes effort. It’s way too easy to talk to folks that are just like you.

Disregarding Content

Another issue is not taking a holistic view of what we are designing for. Especially when it comes to content. I’ve listened to an Executive Creative Director once tell a team, “We’re great at making beautiful boxes without anything to put in them.” Very organized and thoughtful experience design without any regard for a greater concept, narrative or developing a paradigm that the best suits the content. Travis Gertz in ”Design Machines: How to Survive the Digital Apocalypse”, highlights the perils of not taking content and it’s unique needs to into consideration.

Gertz compares digital design to editorial design and highlights the emotive qualities editorial design historically has. The divergence between the disciplines is in the following areas: How systems are designed, How content is treated, and how we collaborate. In digital design, we nerd out on our CSS responsive grid frameworks, design systems and obsess over style guides and pattern libraries. The goal is typically to design for maximum template efficiency and component reuse. Unfortunately, this is where things end. In editorial design, the philosophy was slightly different. Editorial design systems are made for variation, not prescription.

Gertz also elaborates on how content is treated in the process. It’s not about content first or content last. It’s about the content’s connection to the design. In editorial design its standard practice for content creators and editors to work hand in hand while designing the system. Content development doesn’t come at a later stage to be plugged in once the design is done. It’s just as important as design and engineering. When digital products are built in an assembly line fashion and the boxes are built before the content exists we’ve missed an opportunity.

With the added complexity in digital design over editorial design, other design disciplines were created. User experience design was needed so that the flow of a site, application or product worked. As Gertz alludes to, this is another step in the assembly line where content isn’t carefully considered as there’s not enough collaboration between the creative disciplines. In digital design, a heavy emphasis is placed on dividing up roles by the stages of a project to gain efficiencies from each of the design disciplines. Unfortunately, this created more silos. As compared to editorial design. Where editorial designers knew the design stack from a system-level and how it laddered up to the expression of each piece of content.

Gertz boils down the problem to poor collaboration and a disregard for content. I know this type of tighter collaboration would be harder to scale, but a more editorial lens on things would help guide teams on what should be produced. There’s no need to create a component library of 30 components as a “just in case measure” if the current content only needs 5 of them (10).

Have a concept.

This is critical in other design disciplines. In digital design sometimes we can get away with not having a concept because if the thing works, no matter how basic or boring, you can check the box and tell everyone it works. Or you can fool yourself and everyone else with the cop-out that it’s an MVP (Minimum Viable Product). I remember being part of a large scale multi-brand platform redesign team. We had our very intelligent, engineering-minded UX team present the designs by nerding out on how flexible the components were and how great they looked across breakpoints. The clients were bored but did wind up asking some great questions, “How will our X product look in this thing?” and “What about X visuals that were unique to the brand? Will we have those?” Shame on me, shame on us. Making a site responsive or adding parallax scrolling isn’t a concept. A concept should give the team a guidepost when it comes to selecting grids, type, illustration and interaction paradigms. Developing a concept requires research and mining for an insight to ensure you’re in fact solving the right problem.

References

1. Batey, Mark. “How to Have Breakthrough Ideas.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 20 July 2017, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-creativity/201707/how-have-breakthrough-ideas.

2. “Exploring Digital Design | Marc Kremers, London.” Exploring Digital Design | Marc Kremers, London, Represent UK, digitaldesign.represent.uk.com/index.php/marc-kremers.

3. Schoen, Yaron. “In Defense of Homogeneous Design — Yaron Schoen — Medium.” Medium.com, Medium, 16 Mar. 2016, medium.com/@yarcom/in-defense-of-homogeneous-design-b27f79f4bb87.

4. Schiff, Eli. “In Defense of Homogeneous Design — Designer News.” Open Sans and Baskerville (Libre… — If You Had to Choose 1 Font Pair to Use for the Rest of Your Life –, Developer News, 21 Mar. 2016, www.designernews.co/stories/65889-in-defense-of-homogeneous-design.

5. Publicis Sapient North America. “‘The Apartment — Virtual Reality Retail Experience’ for Retail and E-Commerce (by Publicis Sapient North America).” The Best and Largest Global Advertising Agency Directory & Creative Library — AdForum, Adforum, www.adforum.com/agency/6644039/creative-work/34520718/the-apartment-virtual-reality-retail-experience/sapientnitro-retail-and-e-commerce.

6. Bergeron, Brett. “Good Enough Design — Brett Bergeron — Medium.” Medium.com, Medium, 20 Sept. 2016, medium.com/this-also/good-enough-design-29ab5132f3a3.

7. “Everything I Know.” Everything I Know, by Paul Jarvis, Paul Jarvis, 2013, p. 102.

8. Santos, Morgane. “The Unbearable Homogeneity of Design — Morgane Santos — Medium.” Medium.com, Medium, 10 Mar. 2016, medium.com/@morgane/the-unbearable-homogeneity-of-design-fe1a44d48f3d.

9. “Exploring Digital Design | Marc Kremers, London.” Exploring Digital Design | Marc Kremers, London, Represent UK, digitaldesign.represent.uk.com/index.php/marc-kremers.

10. Gertz, Travis. “Design Machines.” Louder Than Ten, 18 Sept. 2018, louderthanten.com/coax/design-machines.

#my writing #long reads #ux #uxdesign #ui #digital design

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slaymyglo · 6 years ago

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20 Self Care Tips

20 self-care tips

Welcome back glo gang for everyone that is new here hi my name is Mickhailia and I am a blogger and for everyone that’s been rocking with me heyyyyy I love you so much and thank you for supporting me as much as I support you. Today Im going to be talking about selfcare and just basically things that we can do at home or even out of the home to take care of ourselves mentally, physically and emotionally. Self-care is so important to me because I feel like once you feel good inside your body and once your body is healthy and cared for and then there are no limits to the things that you can do, the things that you can imagine and the things that you can accomplish once you feel good inside your body because energy is from the inside out and if you have that energy then the skies the limit.

No I won’t be putting in here and telling you guys to go to the spa and take a $90 facial or a $50 body massage. Self care can be the smallest things, giving your self a pedicure or doing a deep conditioning treatment or trying a new facemask.

So here’s a list of 30 things that you can do that doesn’t require you spending a lot of money and still make you feel good about yourself.

A diy spa day

Grab some Epson salt and I scented candle fill your bathtub with warm water and a few drops of lavender oil and have a spa day

2. Make yourself a playlist

When I make myself playlists actually feel a sense of accomplishment because when I go back and listen to the music that I put in the playlist it’s very reflective of what I was going through at that time and so is shows growth since then and now. Making yourself a playlist can be happy, sad, productive or reflective it is able to give off whatever energy that you want from that music.

3. Brew yourself a cup of tea

I love teas and tried so many of them and I wish that one day I will be able to try them all. Teas have so many purposes there are teas for relaxation, teas that help your mind, teas that help your skin and just your overall good health to show you how much of a tea drinker I am I have a subscription with myTeabox it’s basically a monthly box that get sent to my house with a selection of teas and you get to try them see the health benefits and it’s just a really nice thing to expect in the mail every month. They have black teas, white teas, green teas chai teas or long tees and a lot more it cost approximately C$28 plus $10 and some change for shipping and the other one that I recently tried is amoda tea it’s $18 a month free shipping.

4. Do a deep conditioning treatment on your hair

Not only will this benefit your hair but it will feel good in yourself that you were doing something that will help you and that alone subconsciously makes you happy just get a steam cap an avacado and some honey mix it together and there you go.

5. Read a good book

Honestly I must say personally I’m not a fan of reading but when I do read and I find that perfect book it’s so satisfying and I feel so empowered to have read that book and if you aren’t a big reader and you are still interested in literature then listen to audiobooks trust me it makes a difference. Basically all it is is an audio version of the book that you wish to read so plug in your headphones and listen to someone else read the book to you.

6. Make yourself a smoothie/fruit bowl. if you have an extra 10 minutes to spare in the morning before you head off to work or to school or wherever your day may lead you make yourself a smoothie or a fruit bowl doesn’t have to be anything fancy you can just get some strawberries a few grapes a few cherries and some slices of apples put in a bowl in there you go or you can use all those ingredients and just throw it into your blender and there you go have a smoothie.

7. Drink 1 L of water

I honestly was one of those people that are like “are you serious drink water to be healthy?” but listening to those instructions and drinking water has significantly helped me to be more healthier not only in like my physical health but to make me feel good mentally and to have a clear mind so please drink your water guys.

8. Take five minutes to reflect at the end of every day

It’s so important to reflect on your day and how it went, what you could’ve done to make your day better, things that were a success and to give yourself credit for those successes because then and only then well we learn how to appreciate things in life and how to forgive ourselves for the things that don’t go well from that we will grow and become better individuals.

9.Create a journal entry at the end of the week

The 10-year-old me would be so proud because that’s all she invested her time in to write things in her diary and to live this television fantasy of having a Book of crushes and a book of untold secrets the girls she doesn’t like and the girls that are her BFFs. Having a journal isn’t childish or Petty. Journals can help you to cope with whatever situation you’re going through, it can be a reminder of the things that you’ve done and accomplished successfully, it can be a resting place for the things that you wish to not say to anybody it can also be a friend believe it or not. You can be comfortable with knowing that you’re letting your thoughts out in the open but not to a conscious mind

. 10. Go for a morning walk

This doesn’t have to be an every day routine because I know some people schedules are crazy busy but maybe on a Saturday morning when there’s not much to do before you eat breakfast and get about your day just take 15 minutes to go for a walk, taking that fresh air let out all the bad toxins everything that happened in the previous week just let it out you’re by yourself and bills trust with and yourself also it is a great physical activity to help having a healther life,take a bottle water with you just in case you get a little bit tired or you just need to have some water.

11. Grow a plant

This can be very therapeutic for some people seeing something around you is what’s uplifting to people it also teaches responsibility and how to care because if you don’t water the plant then you know what happens.

12. Create routines

Some people like to live their lives unplanned and spontaneous Lee which is fine and that’s OK if that’s how you progress and how you see yourself moving forward by doing things out of the blue and spontaneously because I for one do that sometimes but having a routine for certain things that you do a skin care routine morning routine the homework routine whatever it may be as long as you find something that works for you and that will continue to work for you then stick to it and make it your personal routine. It could be a three-step guideline of the things that help you to study or it could be a list of things that you do in order in the morning before you get ready for work or school or could even be a route that you take to the grocery store whatever it is write it down and make it your routine it will help you to feel organized it will help you when your mind feels cluttered and you feel confused make yourself a routine.

13. Take pictures

I for one loves scrolling down my Tumblr page full of sunsets and very cosy pictures and if this is something that’s therapeutic for you then maybe you should start taking the photographs if you go out to the park at say 6 PM and you see the sun going down and it looks beautiful to you, take a picture of it you can look back at it and say wow this was a beautiful sunset or you can post it and split someone else say that it’s a beautiful sunset. Whatever it is that inspires you or whatever give you vision then take a picture of it.

14. Sing a song

I’ve always been a musical person I’ve always loved to sing always loved the express whatever I was feeling through Music and it has always helped me. If you’re sad if you’re happy if you’re excited if you’re angry whatever type of emotion you’re feeling inside there will always always be a song that can help you express that to turn away from those feelings or to help build on those feelings. I have a Spotify and SoundCloud account and they are the most used apps on my phone and that’s no joke because I’m constantly playing music constantly trying to find new music and expanding my music taste.

15. Do a DIY project

If you need something to keep you busy or if you are genuinely a person who likes doing a whole projects or you just need something to do for fun go on Pinterest find a great project to do. It doesn’t have to be anything strenuous on the list this is what you want you can find projects that don’t require you to leave your house and products that you can use materials from around your house so that you don’t have to go to buy anything but if you do then that’s OK and make sure it’s not expensive and just craft away.

16. Create goals

When I say create goals I don’t mean to plan the next five years of your life lol. Just simple plans of how your going to get through your day

17. Redecorate your room

I really me feel like a whole new girl when my room looks new and I will move things around and my dresser isn’t in the same place it was the night before and my bed is to the window like that brings me a lot of self satisfaction and it just looks nice like you make me feel like I did something good just read decorate your room it doesn’t need to be anything huge like what I do but I could just literally mean that you hang the new art piece somewhere else like you know like you put your dresser to the opposite wall than it was before just to have something ne

18. Take a nap

Omggg girl! Let me tell you about those after school power naps doors are heavenly. At some point I feel like those little power naps after school is better than a good nights rest and if you have a little bit of spare time and you can take one of these power nap after school knobs after work naps trust me you will be refreshed

19. Unplug from social media for a couple hours

I know this might sound a little bit tough to those who can’t go a day or a couple hours without social media and I completely understand that because I believe that I’m the same as well but it’s possible.

I really do think I can admit that I’m addicted to my phone and it’s not a good thing but it is what it is but I feel like these days I’ve been able to give myself a couple hours to be away from it and really just use those couple hours that I’m not on my phone to reflect his social media it has its pros and it’s cons yes you get to see Wyatt the shade room is posting at 3 PM and yes you get to see what is happening in the news and what lip kit Callie Jenner’s about to launch bought it becomes addicting and it takes away time from doing real things in the real world. The negative sides the social media is that we become so sucked into this world of virtuality that we forget that we live on earth and that we live in a real society.

20. Write down and memorize inspirational quotes for when u are feeling down.

When someone is upset it becomes very difficult for them to think of all the wonderful things that they did and the things that they accomplished but it’s so easy for them to think of all the bad things that are happening around them. Which is why inspirational quotes kind address keep you in the right frame of mind and remind you that things happen in life goes on

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awkward-radar-tech · 7 years ago

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This Too Shall Pass

Summary: It was love at first sight when you saw businessman Armitage Hux for the first time. Two years later you were married and living the perfect life. When Hux gets promoted to CEO, your perfect life changes into one of misery. Thankfully, just like your perfect life, this time of misery shall pass, too.

A/N: I am sorry for the heartbreak this causes.

Prompt from @michaelathewordsmith: Treacherous x I Knew You Were Trouble x I Almost Do + The Moment I Knew + The Last Time: Hux x Reader

With Hux's line of work it is inevitable to have a hectic schedule and his wife, the reader is tired with the same old cycle of broken promises but when the infidelity is revealed the divorce papers are on the desk waiting for a signature that will set the both of them free.

Part 2 -- Part 3

Life had been perfect for years, at 22 you met a dashing ginger gentleman who had a bright future ahead of him while giving a CPR class to his team, and your connection was almost instant. He was only 25 and already was fourth in command in the American branch of his company, which ran two high end restaurant chains and a few fast-casual and themed casual sit-down chains, and was on track to become CEO one day. He was a bit of a celebrity in the company, but to you he was just Armitage Hux. You fell hard, within six months you were living in his condo part time, and after a year you had moved in completely. Just 18 months after meeting you were engaged, and got married six months later. The wedding was all you could imagine, your dream dress, dream location, dream man, and most importantly you were going on your dream honeymoon. You were living your dream life, traveling with your husband to different countries for business and pleasure, attending fancy parties with amazing food either for company success or the promotion of your husband, you didn't have to worry about money or a job, and you got to do what you wanted when you wanted. You cried tears of joy when on your 5 year wedding anniversary Hux told you he had just been voted CEO. And that is when your perfect life began to slip away.

Being the CEO of a child company meant he had to fly to London for around two weeks every quarter to meet with the heads of the parent company and the other child companies. He now had to be present at every opening of a new high end restaurant that he could attend. Since you couldn't attend any of the meetings that accompanied these trips, this meant you were left alone, a lot. Hux felt guilty for leaving you so much that he gave you an orange kitten before he told you he was now CEO, and also made/sternly asked the employees he was closest with, he only considered one a friend, to keep you company when he was gone.

You became close friends with Phasma, Ben “Kylo Ren” Organa-Solo, and Dopheld Mitaka. You even somehow became friends with Kylo’s cousin Rey and her friends, Finn, Poe, and Rose. You could count on going to dinner with Phasma every night Hux was away since she has known him the longest, and was the only friend Armitage had before he met you. You normally had lunch with Hux when he wasn't busy or out of town, which was now the “special occasion”, and the new normal was lunch with Kylo, Mitaka, and Phasma, or a selection of them if one or two were busy. If all of them happened to be busy you had lunch with Rey and sometimes her friends tagged along.

But outside of those meal times, it was just you and Millicent the cat most of the time. Every once in a while you would get a call from Rey asking if you wanted to co-pilot the test drive of her most recent refurbishment, being the head mechanic of the best classic car refurbishment and auto body shop in the state had its perks. On weekends when Hux was away, Phasma and Kylo would take you to concerts, Mitaka would take you to museums, the zoo, or the aquarium (he had the face and the heart of a child), and with the “Resistance”, as Rey and her friends liked to call themselves, you would do fun and weird things like paint and sip classes, cooking classes, or interesting pinterest crafts at somebody's home. You were kept busy, but each week you found yourself feeling more and more alone and not wanting to get out of bed.

It was nearing your 30th birthday, meaning Armitage had been CEO for about 9 months now, and you weren't doing very well in the mental health department although only Millie knew that. Your friends noticed that you had been kind of off the past month and a half, but they bought that you were just missing Hux since he was gone a majority of that time. They decided to plan you a birthday party on a weekend when Hux would be home to help cheer you up. When you called to tell Hux about it, he said he was putting it onto his calendar right then so he could make it. Following the phone call, you laid in bed wondering what he was up to right now. There was no background noise in the call, so you figured he was in his hotel room. You closed your eyes and imagined him lounging in one of the chairs, reading something for work on his tablet even though he had just finished a long day full of meetings because Mr. Armitage Hux, the 33-year-old CEO of First Order Enterprises: North America, had to be doing something work related in 85% of his waking hours or else he wasn't being productive enough. You missed your husband so much, and in this moment you found yourself rolled up into your blankets, imagining he was here holding you. You sincerely hoped he would keep this promise unlike the last few, and if he didn't you don't know what you would do.

The party

You walked into Phasma’s house, wearing Hux’s favorite color on you, red, in hopes that he will recognize the woman he has been leaving behind and make more of an effort to be around you more.

Phasma was the first to greet you, giving you a giant hug to match her giant stature, “Damn girl, you really are making 30 look great! If you and the mister can't wait to get home, I put fresh sheet on the guest room bed, just in case.”

You laughed and playfully smacked her on the arm, “Phas! I think we will be fine… if he shows up. And thank you, tonight is about me so I made sure my outfit about me, and went all out.”

“If I have to go drag that idiot out of his office, I will.”

“Thank you Phasma, you're the best.”

“I know.”

You walked around and spent a few minutes each having nice conversations with Kylo, Mitaka, Rey, Finn, Poe, Rose, and a few of your long time friends that came from out of town. You did your best to ignore how much time was passing and you have yet to see your most anticipated guest. After two hours your friends left to begin their 4 hour drive home, and after saying goodbye to them you couldn't hold in your sadness any more. After walking back into the house, you practically ran to the bathroom farthest down the hallway from the living area. Phasma noticed and gave you a moment before following you.

She lightly tapped on the open door before entering, “Hey (y/n), you are going to be okay. Do you want me to go get that idiot now?”

You looked up at your friend through your tears, “I don't know if I want to see him or talk to him right now. Can you just go there and tell him I'm staying here tonight and maybe yell at him?”

Phasma rubbed your shoulder, “I will gladly yell at him. Do you want me to send anybody else down here to keep you company while I'm away?”

“No, I just want to sit here alone and calm down for a bit. Thank you Phas.”

“Anything for you.”

Phasma at the office building

She stood in the elevator patiently waiting for it to take her up the 20 floors to the top of the building. She always thought it was pretentious for the CEO’s office to be on the top floor. If she ever became CEO, not like she actually wanted to, she would have her office on a lower floor so she wouldn't have to be in the elevator for so damn long. She finally reached the top and stepped out. Just as she had suspected, Hux’s office lights were on, so she slowly walked over. A few feet away from the door, she froze. Did she just hear what she thought she heard? He couldn't be cheating on (y/n), could he? Phasma just stood and listened, and there was no denying what was happening in that room. The moans from the woman asking Hux to go harder, telling him she was close, that his cock was the best she has ever felt; Hux telling her she couldn't cum yet, that he wasn’t done with her yet, and to take his cock like the slut she was. Phasma was not about to make this situation awkward, so she returned to the elevator and stood in it until it opened and the woman was standing on the other side. To make this situation even more cliche than it already was, Hux was fucking his 26 year-old secretary, who had been accompanying him on all his trips since becoming CEO.

Phasma decided to play it nonchalantly, like she just got there, “Oh, interesting to see you here this late Amber.”

“I was just sorting through a bunch of files for Mr. Hux is all. Why are you here this late?”

“I was sent to pull him away from work to attend his wife’s birthday party. Have a good night and weekend Amber, see you on Monday.”

“You too Ms. Phasma.”

She walked with a sense of vengeance to Hux’s office because boy was he going to be getting an ear full. She burst into the office, startling Hux who was looking over a document while sipping from a glass of brandy.

She didn't bother for pleasantries before laying into him, “ARMITAGE BRENDOL HUX WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! Not only do you miss your loving wife’s birthday party, ruining her one birthday wish, you were fucking your secretary! How long have you been cheating on (y/n)?! You know her mental health has declined significantly in the past few months? I secretly had a key made for me in fear one day she wouldn't be at the door to greet me, either from being too sick to get out of bed or worse. She tries to hide that she is sick, and everybody else believes her lies, but I know the truth. If you didn't want to be with her anymore, why didn't you get a divorce before abandoning her and fucking younger chicks. I was already sent here to tell you (y/n) doesn't want to see or talk to you tonight and to possibly yell at you, but now I'm glad I came. I am going to move (y/n) out of your filthy house tomorrow, and get a lawyer working on divorce papers so she can be free from your torment. Why would you ruin such an amazing relationship Hux? You are such a dumb ass, you said you would never become your father, but here you are, cheating on your wife with the secretary, leaving her alone more than being with her, the only thing you need now is to knock Amber up with a redheaded baby boy and you'll be golden. The only differences are that (y/n) cares about you unconditionally, she isn't the daughter of some rich dude like your step-mother, (y/n) will be getting a divorce for her own good, and you are sitting in the position you dad always wanted but could never have. Bye you fucking idiot, and don't try to contact her. See you later.” Phasma turned on her heel and began to walk away.

“Wait, Phasma, let me explain.”

She paused but didn't turn around, “What is there to explain Hux? You blew off your wife’s birthday party so ‘daddy could fuck his pretty little slut’. And yeah I caught you, I didn't barge in when I arrived because a) I don’t need to see your dick and b) I didn’t want to make things awkward for everybody so I waited in the elevator until Amber left. And I'm not going to accept that Amber made you do it, you were way too into that. Just accept that you fucked up astronomically big time and there is no turning back now. I'll give you 30 seconds to start a legitimate excuse, and then I'm leaving.”

Hux sighed and began, “I was just being an idiot, at first she was coming along to transcribe the meetings for me but one trip about three months in I was in my room drinking because I missed (y/n) a lot and Amber showed up at my door and in my almost blackout drunk state I thought she was (y/n), and since she was there to seduce me anyways she took it. If I wasn't drunk this never would have happened, but since it did I decided to continue the relationship. That was stupid on my part. I should have told (y/n) right away, and then had Amber transferred to somebody else, but I was selfish and didn't. I thought I could have both, but I was wrong. Please tell (y/n) that I am sorry and I love her and I will accept a divorce if that is what she wants. And I understand if you or her don't believe that I'm sorry and love her since my actions say otherwise.”

“See you later, Armitage.”

“Bye Phas.”

How could she break this news to (y/n) on her birthday? She couldn't keep this from her, but she didn't want to ruin her birthday even more. Hopefully everybody was still there so (y/n) could have all her new friends around.

At the party while Phasma is heading back

You stood at the sink, looking into the mirror, “You can do this. You are okay. Nobody needs to know besides Phas.”

You walked back out to the party, hoping nobody noticed you were gone. But as soon as you were spotted, they began singing happy birthday and leading you to the cake in the kitchen. What you didn't know is that Phasma had called Mitaka to tell him what was going on and to try to get you as cheery as possible when you emerged because shit was going to hit the fan when she arrived. Mitaka told the rest what was going on and they all embraced it 100%, they wanted to create good memories of today before you were hit by the horrible ones. While Phasma didn't give a reason why shit was going to hit the fan, everybody was able to give a pretty good guess as to why.

After the cake, you all moved to the living room to open presents, and Phasma arrived during that time. When you finished opening your gifts, Phasma asked you to follow her, that she had something to tell you, and your heart sank knowing this wasn’t good news. You didn't want to believe what you heard, the man you loved was fucking his secretary instead of you, and the reason why was because he was drunk as hell one night because he was missing you and she came to seduce him and in his troubled mind he saw you, and then he became selfish enough to keep it going. And to top it off, that is why he wasn't at your party, he was fucking his side chick. Phasma said she already contacted a lawyer and they were staring the paperwork if you wanted a divorce, and while you maybe should have thought about things longer, you told her to have them continue the work. You had no reason to be Mrs. (Y/n) Hux anymore, and you didn't want to be. Phasma led you back out to the living room where everybody was prepared to support you through this hard time. Everybody offered to let you live with them, even Kylo who didn't really like Millicent. You thanked everybody for the offer, but you wanted to stay with Phasma for right now.

Everyone stayed at Phasma’s that night, all of you sleeping around the living room. And they all came along to help pack everything of yours up and move it to Phasma’s house. It was hard for you to walk into that house knowing it was probably the last time. After all your stuff was packed and Millicent was in her carrier, you removed your house key from your key chain and left it on the kitchen counter with a note to Hux: I wish you had left it as a one time fuck. I could have forgiven you if that was the case, but you had to be selfish and think only about yourself. Thank you for ruining my birthday. I loved and trusted you Armitage. - (y/n) (y/ln)

It felt weird not wearing a wedding ring, it felt weird signing all the paperwork and going to court. You hated seeing him because all you wanted to do was run into his arms and have him tell you everything was going to be okay, but you couldn't because he was the reason everything wasn't okay. You spent nights crying on Phasma’s couch with her trying to comfort you the best she could. Sometimes you would spend a night or two at Rey’s or Kylo’s or Mitaka’s when being in Phasma's house where it all went down was too much. You and Rey would buy quarts of ice cream and watch rom-coms and would yell at the guys and eat the ice cream straight out of the container; you and Kylo would complain about Hux and if you started sobbing Kylo would envelop you in his giant arms and tell you you were safe from the world and would stay like that until you calmed, and one time he bought a bunch of cheap orange glass plates that you broke to release some of your anger at Hux; Mitaka would just sit there and let you vent about everything for as long as you needed, he wouldn't say much or do much since he didn't know what to say or do, but he was there for you as a shoulder to cry on, just like the little brother you saw him as. You didn't know Rose, Finn, and Poe as well as the rest, but they would come over to Rey’s sometimes when you were there and you all would do some of the same things you all did on weekends before, and they would send you memes they thought you would like.

They all were there on the final hearing when it was set in stone that you were now divorced. They all held you as you cried, Kylo being the center to “protect you from the world” like you needed. You were sad and crushed that the divorce was finally complete, but you told yourself this is for the best. After everybody else moved away, you still clung to Kylo, letting your sobs soak his shirt.

You spoke into his chest, “Thank you Kylo, I really appreciate all you've done. You're tied with Phasma in being my best friend. It means a lot that you're willing to hold me when all I want is to be in Hux’s arms.”

He lowered his head and whispered to you, “Anything for you, kid. I think you're pretty cool, and you're one of my best friends besides Phasma, too. It is a shame that a dick like Hux had to bring us together. At least he was good for something. Well, he also got you Millicent. Now let's go celebrate, kid, we got stuff planned for you back at Phasma’s.”

While at first you didn't want to celebrate, you ended up having a great time. Mitaka got drunk and told you he saw you as the big sister he never had; Finn, Poe, Kylo, Phasma, and Rey got into a push up contest and Phasma and Rey were tied and left the guys in the dust, with Rey ultimately winning by one; Poe brought his corgi, Bee-bee, who surprisingly got along with Millie. It was the most fun you had in months, and looking at this family you now had made you realize everything was going to be okay, life was going to keep going.

#Armitage Hux x reader #Armitage Hux x you #armitage hux/ you #armitage hux/ reader #divorce #heartbreak #i am sorry #a-r-t creation

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nervousgladiatorgoatee-blog · 6 years ago

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What Your Wedding Photographer Wants to Tell You, But Can't

Your wedding photographer doesn't own a crystal ball.

Photographers are not magicians.

You can just Photoshop that out, right?

Allow your wedding photographer plenty of time.

Don't forget to clean up!

It's unlikely that you will see each and every single photo that was taken.

The importance of being flexible.

Make sure that you make me look good on my wedding photos.

Your service seems a little expensive. Can I get a discount?

I want my wedding photos to look like my friend's wedding photos; they look like they were taken on old film.

Sorry, but can I book you last minute?

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geeharrisons-blog · 6 years ago

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hey you crazy kids, it’s me, ya girl LARA. bringing in my fave gorl, the friend who wants to comfort you but has no idea what she’s doing, the girl who wanted to compliment you but accidentally insulted you and now doesn’t know how to fix it, who regularly says “ thanks, you too ” to ticket salesmen at the movie theatre tell her to “ have fun ” ... GEETA ( aka gee, greta, saint geeta... )

( NAOMI SCOTT, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) you’ve probably already heard of GEETA HARRISON through the LA music scene. the TWENTY-THREE year old is the BASSIST & CO-LEAD SINGER of the band SHY VIOLETS, an INDIE POP band that has FOUR members & sounds kind of like GROUPLOVE, FICKLE FRIENDS & THE KOOKS. GEE is said to be DEXTEROUS but also CONFRONTATIONAL. i wonder what bandslam makes of them ?

( tw: drunk driving, car accident, death )

— ✧ HISTORY

your first memory is her laughter. years later it still rings in your head, it resounds against the walls of your chest. it’s still in you. the sound of her voice as she cradled you, sang with your head against her chest. you still don’t understand the language, but the soft hums and vibrations tell you that you are oh, so wanted. oh, so loved.

your parents are DAVID and SAMIRA. your parents were young and in love. your parents were broke. your parents moved to SAN FRANCISCO and started a band. you weren’t planned, but who cares about plans anyway ?

you are born from their music. you sprout from the fingertips that caress the piano keys, or strum the guitar. they name you SONG, in your mother’s native tongue ( GEETA, GEE-TAH ). you were always meant to make music. to BE music.

you never knew silence. there was always MUSIC, always beautiful harmonies filling the air and flooding your lungs. the beatles, the stones, hendrix, joplin, dylan, bowie. you don’t listen to the radio. you only know your father’s records, and your mother’s voice. the strum of his guitar. her fingers on the piano keys.

you turn TEN years old and you hold a guitar for the first time. he teaches you his favorite songs, which are also yours. you don’t have a lot to talk about, but you have THIS. this is the ONE thing you can share with your father, and you take to it like a duck to water. you were B O R N from music, like athena from zeus’ head. you were ALWAYS meant for this.

school lets out, and you run to the music store. you make music for the people, take advantage of the instruments on display. you learn how to play on borrowed keys and strings. there isn’t a MOMENT when you’re not playing, or listening, or making music. at school, you write, at home, you practice. this is ALL you know.

the first time you hold a BASS guitar in your hands you’re FOURTEEN. you feel as if part of your body has been missing until this very moment. it’s a tan-colored stratocaster, and it feels like coming HOME.

the summer after you turn FIFTEEN, you’ve got your eyes set on a seafoam green fender. you work all summer. you don’t see your friends. you bring her home and name her PENNY LANE.

in high school, you join every band that will have you. you just want to play music, you don’t care about the genre. you NEED to play. at home, you write your own songs, but you keep them to yourself. one day, they’ll find the right outlet.

you’re EIGHTEEN and almost out of high school when some drunk asshole C O L L I D E S with your mom as she’s driving home one night. they rush her to the hospital. you’re hanging out with your band after a show when you get the call. your father is holding her hand as she takes her last breaths, moments before you come running in. you’re too L A T E.

you almost don’t graduate. you stop playing. you stop writing. you live with your father in complete silence. for the FIRST time, there isn’t a sound. not a note, not a hum. the next year passes by in a foggy blur. suddenly you’re NINETEEN and nothing has happened. you haven’t moved an inch.

your dad has moved on. you don’t understand how. every day he walks further, and further A W A Y from you. you hoped it would be the other way around, that this would bring you closer. isn’t grief supposed to do that for people ? instead, he finds someone else. you were so used to seeing your parents together, so used to thinking that they were the ONLY people out there for each other. it doesn’t make sense in your head for your father to be putting a RING on someone else’s finger.

now, you have a stepmother. she’s sweet, but she’s not your mom. you let her know. don’t let her fool herself into thinking she’s a replacement. you have SIBLINGS now. around your age. they’re nothing but STRANGERS to you.

one day, you sit down at the piano your mother used to play. it doesn’t sound the same as when she played it, each notes bouncing off the walls of the apartment you grew up in, but it kind of feels like she’s still THERE. your dad starts crying. there’s a moment of understanding. this is where your paths diverge. he’s MOVING with his new wife and kids. there’s a baby on the way. you realize you need to move too. this isn’t the same apartment you grew up in. you can’t STAY here.

the next day you pack your things and drive to LA. you don’t have a plan yet, but you’re not too worried. again, who cares about plans ?

a friend lends you his couch. you get a job at a music store ( those have always felt like home, no ? ). you two find your own place. you work a few different jobs, teach other kids how to play music. you find your way around the scene. make some friends who play in bands. you join a band called SHY VIOLETS. you’re back to playing the bass, and you feel like you have a home again. everything is finally making sense. THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE MEANT TO DO.

— ✧ PERSONALITY

❝ she didn’t sob or wail. her grief was horribly discreet but as persistent and almost as silent as bleeding from an unstitched wound. ❞

ZODIAC SIGN: aries-taurus cusp ( april 20th ) PERSONALITY TYPE: estp – the entrepreneur ENNEAGRAM: type 8 – the challenger TEMPERAMENT: melancholic HOGWARTS HOUSE: gryffindor MORAL ALIGNMENT: true neutral PRIMARY VICE: pride PRIMARY VIRTUE: diligence ELEMENT: earth MORE STATS HERE !!

hello kids this is geeta aka gee, my sad, awkward, fighty gorl.

at first, she’s kinda quiet and reserved. she has a one-track mind, and the only thing she cares about is the music. she wants to be the best bassist she can be. the best singer she can be. make the band the best it can be.

she lives and breathes music. it’s what she grew up on, it’s the only thing she knows. doesn’t really understand people who aren’t as passionate about music as she is. can be a little closed-minded when it comes to this. she honestly just doesn’t do anything that isn’t music-related. definitely needs to learn how to relax and get a life outside of the band. music is her life; she doesn’t care about anything else.

she’s pretty great at what she does and she knows it, so she can get cocky sometimes. she’s very proud of the band and what they’ve achieved, and sometimes that can go to her head. but the truth is she has the chops to back up her talk.

she’s stubborn as a mule and that definitely shows when dealing with the band. she knows what she wants and has trouble compromising. shy violets is all she has so she’s fiercely protective of it, and extremely loyal to her bandmates.

she doesn’t trust people easily, so she’s very cautious when making band-related decisions. who they sign with, where they play, etc. she’s kind of a control freak.

she’s a generally friendly person, but she doesn’t open up easily and plays things close to the vest. she can come off a little cold sometimes, but not rude. just awkward. her communication skills are shit.

she’s only comfortable enough to be emotionally open with a few select people. or, of course, through the music she writes.

she can’t back down from a fight. it’s a problem, and she knows it, but she can’t avoid confrontation, she runs headfirst into it, even if she’s in the wrong. mama didn’t raise a quitter, but she did raise a fool.

she’s always listening to music. she’s that – *planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what – meme.

she doesn’t really drink, partly because she’s a control freak, and partly because she’s still spooked by what happened to her mom. she’s not very comfortable around drunk people, unless she’s also a little tipsy. she’ll drink just enough so that the people around her don’t think she’s weird, but she’s always the sober friend at the end of the night. she’s always the designated driver, even if she wasn’t out drinking that night. she’ll get out of bed to drive the drunk children home. she’ll do this without being asked, but she’ll still complain about it the whole car ride.

a bicon™ because i’m a firm believer that straight people don’t exist.

you will all learn soon enough that my specialty is sad girls™ and this is. only the first. it’ll only get sadder from here on out.

— ✧ EXTRAS

BASSIST CLAIM: laena geronimo from the like. VOICE CLAIM: greta salpeter from the hush sound. THEME SONGS: way it goes – hippo campus | some nights – fun. | don’t take the money – bleachers | drive – pale waves | some nights – fun. PINTEREST: xx PLAYLIST: [ always a wip ] xx

— ✧ CONNECTIONS

i’m probably gonna work out a page for these, but in the meantime, i’m just gonna list some general ideas in case anyone is interested !!

your character and geeta grew up around each other in san francisco, and they moved to la around the same time. they sometimes drive up there together [ taken: open 0/1 ]

your character was the first new friend gee made when she moved to los angeles. still very raw from losing her mother, she opened up to them. they know her better than most people [ taken: ricky clark ]

your character is the friend gee crashed with when she first arrived in los angeles, and later got an apartment with. they still live together, with all the ups and downs that entails [ taken: nathaniel taylor ]

your character is a big influence in geeta’s music, she probably saw them live a few years ago and is absolutely blown away by what they do musically. she admires them greatly, and really looks up to them [ open 0/1 ]

your character is geeta’s best friend. her platonic life partner. 10/10 would die for them without thinking twice. they sometimes makeout a little too [ taken: jade vandermeer ]

your character worked with geeta at the music store [ open 0/?? ]

your character and geeta dated shortly after she moved to la. it didn’t last, and they both realized they were together for all the wrong reasons. they’re friends now, but not after writing some angry breakup songs about each other [ taken: nathaniel taylor ]

your character and geeta dated for a while, but it didn’t end well. not necessarily messy, but awkward. she does everything in her power to avoid them [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta dated for a while, and they were really into each other, but that kind of fizzled out. they’re still friends though [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta hooked up once. it’s nbd [ open 0/?? ]

your character is someone geeta kind of hates. maybe she doesn’t hate them, but she’s kind of grossed out by them. the last person she would ever expect to hook up with, but hey, she did. and now they won’t let her forget it, because it’s so easy to get under her skin [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta aren’t in the same band, but often get together to jam out, or write music together. throughout this process, they bond and learn a lot about each other [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta almost dated once. almost. something happened that made them reconsider [ open 0/1 ]

your character has a crush on geeta, and she doesn’t even notice. perhaps it’s better this way, since she can’t return the feeling and wouldn’t know how to turn them down [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta don’t really get along. they’re always trying to one-up each other, always trying to beat the other one. they don’t hate each other, but they’re constantly competing [ open 0/1 ]

your character has geeta’s phone on speed dial for when they’re too drunk to go home. they crash regularly on her couch [ open 0/?? ]

your character is someone geeta’s had feelings for some time, but still hasn’t acknowledged. they’re good friends, so taking that next step feels impossible. they’re someone she can open up to, and her feelings are getting harder and harder to deny [ taken: ricky clark ]

#❛ ɪ ᴡɪsʜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ʟɪᴘs ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴜɪʟᴅ ᴀ ᴄᴀsᴛʟᴇ ❜ ( muse )#scene:intro #drunk driving tw #car accident tw #death tw #just covering my bases here

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geetahvrrison-blog · 7 years ago

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( NAOMI SCOTT, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) meet GEETA HARRISON, the BASSIST of the band SHY VIOLETS. the TWENTY-THREE year old is definitely DEDICATED and CLEVER, but can also be kind of COCKY and CONFRONTATIONAL. i hope she finds success with the band. after all, it’s not easy to make it in the music business these days.

— ✧ HISTORY

your parents are DAVID and SAMIRA. your parents were young and in love. your parents were broke. your parents moved to SAN FRANCISO and started a band. you weren’t planned, but who cares about plans anyway ?

you turn TEN years old and you hold a guitar for the first time. he teaches you his favorite songs, which are also yours. you take to it like a duck to water. you were B O R N from music, like athena from zeus’ head. you were ALWAYS meant for this.

school lets out, and you run to the music store. you make music for the people, take advantage of the instruments on display. you learn how to play on borrowed keys and strings.

the summer after you turn FIFTEEN, you’ve got your eyes set on a seafoam green fender. you work all summer. you don’t see your friends. you bring her home and name her PENNY LANE.

you almost don’t graduate. you stop playing. you stop writing. you live with your father in complete silence. the next year passes by in a foggy blur. suddenly you’re NINETEEN and nothing has happened. you haven’t moved an inch.

the next day you pack your things and drive to LA. you don’t have a plan yet, but you’re not too worried. again, who cares about plans ?

you find a tiny apartment, you get a job at a music store ( those have always felt like home, no ? ). you join a band called SHY VIOLETS. you’re back to playing the bass, and you feel like you have a home again. THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE MEANT TO DO.

— ✧ PERSONALITY

okay !! so !! geeta’s a pretty quiet and reserved, she just really wants to focus on her music and being the best bassist she can be / making the band the best it can be.

she’s all about the music, she does very little that isn’t music-related. definitely needs to learn how to relax and get a life outside of the band. music is just...her life. she doesn’t care about other stuff.

she’s pretty great at what she does and she knows it, so she can get cocky sometimes. she’s very proud of the band and what they’ve achieved, and sometimes that can go to her head.

she doesn’t trust people easily, so she’s very cautious when making band-related decisions. who they sign with, where they play, etc.

she’s a generally friendly person, but she doesn’t open up easily and plays things close to the vest. she’s only comfortable enough to be emotionally open with a few select people. or, of course, through the music she writes.

she can’t back down from a fight. it’s a problem, and she knows it, but she can’t avoid confrontation, she runs headfirst into it, even if she’s in the wrong.

she’s always listening to music. she’s that – *planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what – meme

a bicon™ because i’m a firm believer that straight people don’t exist.

you will all learn soon enough that my specialty is sad girls™ and this is. only the first. it’ll only get sadder from here on out.

— ✧ EXTRAS

BASSIST CLAIM: laena geronimo from the like THEME SONGS: some nights – fun. | don’t take the money – bleachers | everybody lost somebody – bleachers | wake me up when september ends – green day | ( more later ) PINTEREST: xx PLAYLIST: [ still very much a wip ] xx

— ✧ CONNECTIONS

i’m probably gonna work out a page for these, but in the meantime, i’m just gonna list some general ideas in case anyone is interested !!

best friend, ride or die, soul sister, platonic life partner ( jade vandermeer )

roommate !! ( nate taylor )

first friend she made in LA ( ricky clark )

old coworkers from when she worked at the music store

shitty ex she does everything in her power to avoid

hookups ( could be more than one )

that one person she kinda hates but still hooked up with once and now they won’t let her forget about it because she’s so easy to annoy

crush she’s still in denial about ( ricky clark )

coming up with connections isn’t my strong suit but i’m open to pretty much anything !! hmu here or on discord and we’ll talk !!

#band:intro #— ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ʟɪᴘꜱ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴜɪʟᴅ ᴀ ᴄᴀꜱᴛʟᴇ | muse.

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hello-cmcgee14-blog · 7 years ago

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From Tumblr, I selected some television shows, celebrities, musicians, beautiful countries, and my personal favorite tiny houses. I found these posts by searching topics or name of things that are interesting to me. Each of the posts I reblogged took some time to find because of the sheer volume of posts and I wanted to find posts that suit my personality, capturing what I wanted to say about each topic. First, I selected an image of the show Keeping Up with the Kardashians because I have always enjoyed watching their family/business lifestyle. The Kardashians is a show I can watch for hours. Scott, not technically a member of the family, and Khloe are my favorites in the show because they both joke around and have personalities similar to mine. I found this post by searching the title of the show and scrolling through the media until I found a post I liked. Santorini Island, Greece is a beautiful aerial view overlooking the city at night with the lights reflecting from the homes below. I chose this image because Greece is my number one most wanted place to travel. I was also heartbroken to hear about the fires in Greece leaving approximately seventy-nine people dead. I included this photo to show I like to do more than watch television or read, and though there are many places in the world I want to travel, Greece has been and always will be my number one choice. The black and white photo of the of the car with the palm tree represents my love of road trips. The past three summers I have road tripped to Maine from North Carolina to be with my grandparents and assist them in any way I can. I actually will be driving back tomorrow. Driving through different states and stopping in different tourism areas is something I have always loved to do. There are so many mom and pop shops with great food, sometimes they are duds, but my dream is to go farther west and see more of the country. I also decided to include Seinfeld on my Tumblr page because it is one favorite shows and is a great comedy my whole family can watch (August 25, 1990: He’s a Hit -Post). I enjoy watching a lot of old shows, M.A.S.H. and Cheers included, because it gives me a sense of what comedy and life were like before today’s fast pace driven lifestyle. Seinfeld is a classic, you can’t beat characters like Cosmo Kramer and Elaine Benes. This shows combined with Keeping Up with the Kardashians displays my diverse interest in shows; reality, comedy, and fictions are all genres I enjoy watching. Lastly, the tiny homes. The style and characters of each house are unique and I love that each home is custom built to serve the needs of the owner. The creativity in designing and building these homes is endless. I have watched Tiny House, Big Living and done an extensive amount of research and I think this is a truly amazing lifestyle. I love traveling and owners of tiny homes have the ability to travel without the worry of a lease, selling, or buying. All of my posts are different and give people the chance to see who I am by viewing the things I love.

Tumblr works well for members of fan communities because they are able to repost or create a post of their own. People using Tumblr can follow other users with the same interest and leave comments showing support for their fandom. Tumblr was easy to use but I enjoy Pinterest more, however, I think Tumblr serves fan communities better. I would choose Tumblr to connect with other members of my fan community because it allows a user to post many different forms of media: text, image, video. There is a diversity in posts and not just straightforward images or texts other limited by regulations in other social media.

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sheisrecovering · 7 years ago

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I'm Beginning to Enjoy the Holidays Again: How I Cope + Magical Gift Ideas

Happy first of my December, my loves! 💝✨ I went to therapy yesterday for the first time in months!! I may have talked about my cat for half an hour... but I had another successful session and I'm super proud of myself for going. I think about my mindset on therapy leading up to the past few years and I'm so glad I kept trying. Having many disappointing experiences with therapists had me believing that they didn't care or help anyone. It really does make a huge difference when you find a therapist who makes you feel comfortable and who works well with you!!!

I'm getting extremely excited about the winter holidays. It's been a while since I've felt like this even though my birthday is on the 18th. I felt indifferent about all of it last year. It was the first year I began to heal from domestic abuse, and with all of my other problems I genuinely despised everything about the holidays. But this time it feels different. Even though the holidays are a very stressful time, it feels nice. I thought I'd share some key tips on how I've dealt with holidays while recovering.😊

Coping with Holidays While In Recovery

1. Keep up with your basic needs. This is a personal struggle of mine when there's a lot going on. I forget to eat, hydrate, brush my teeth, etc. I have a few ways to help me stay on track:

Set reminders on your phone.

Use a daily self care checklist. (custom + premade)

Keep sticky notes, a cork board or a whiteboard in a visible place.

Ask a good friend or family member to help remind you.

2. Don't downplay your negative feelings or your positive ones. Pretending we're okay when we're not will make us feel worse. Sometimes we even downplay our happiness for the sake of others, but if we feel good we should let it show. We deserve it!

A big part of overcoming this is by just doing it.

You can say anything you want. For example "I've been better but I'm holding on".

Remember that everyone has good and bad days. You don't have to hide your true feelings for anyone.

3. Be selective about the people you make time for. It's always okay to say no, and this season is busy for everyone. Don't feel bad if you can't make it to every event; you can always send a thank-you note to the host wishing them a good year. Surround yourself with friends and family that make you feel loved.

4. I used to get really nervous when people ask me what I've been up to, and that seems to happen often during the holidays when I'm spending time with extended family. If you also struggle with this, try practicing what you want to say before attending an event where you'll be asked lots of questions. Talk about your recovery journey and speak proudly of your progress if you haven't already. Starting the conversation about mental health is scary— but it's worth it.

5. Dealing with difficult family members is another huge stressor for a lot of people. We unfortunately can't always avoid people we don't want to spend time around— but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to enjoy yourself. There are a few things you can do:

Think about your triggers, and have your most effective coping skills ready.

Consider how you'll react to sensitive situations before the event.

Bring a good friend with you!

Bring something that makes you feel comfortable. For example a stim toy, a photograph, a blanket, your phone, a pair of socks to wear, etc.

Hang out with the people at the event who don't make you feel like crap.

Kill them with kindness. If someone is being rude, just be polite and walk away. You deserve better and their negativity has nothing to do with you.

Dealing with abusers at holiday events is a much tougher situation. There is definitely no quick fix for this, but staying close to someone who makes you feel comfortable and safe at the event is a good start. Know that you can use literally anything to excuse yourself from a conversation. Take extra trips to the bathroom to breathe, call or texta friend, or step outside for a few minutes when you need to .

Ignore everything else and just enjoy yourself!

Remember that this event will end. You can make it through. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

6. Take special time for yourself. Do what you love, whether it be spending a night in bed watching Disney movies, reading a good book, going for a walk, painting your nails, spending time with a pet, taking a bubble bath, etc. Holidays are not only for celebrating with family. You deserve to celebrate YOURSELF in ways that you enjoy, too.

7. Remember that it truly is the thought that counts. You don't need to spend any money on presents to express your gratitude and love to someone. If you have the spare time and want to do something special for little or no cost, search for DIY gift ideas or make a cute card. I listed a ton of great ideas below!!

Do-It-Yourself Gift Ideas

Emergency self care kit

Paint and bake mug

Tea Christmas Tree

Mint suger scrub

Upcycled jewelry magnets

15 diy Christmas card ideas

More Magical Gift Ideas

All prices have been converted to CAD (Canadian). These are not paid advertisements!