#pink diamond may actually be dead idk

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 13: Cant Make an Omlette without Breaking a few Legs

Fandom: Steven Universe

Prompts;

Fracture

Dislocation

"Are you here to break me out?"

Amethyst has definetly said this (title) at some point.

Anyway, anyone who knows my archive knows I have a WIP SU fanfic and I can hear the screams of readers as I write this after not updating in... who knows how long.

So enjoy this AU 😬 its a little less... uh whumpy...

Pearls were property. It was the first thing they knew when they were formed, and no one let them forget it.

This particular Pearl was pretty old, she doesnt know if there were Pearls before her or not, just knows the ones that came after. She was created by and for White Diamond, the oldest diamond and main ruler of the courts. So this Pearl was knows as 'White Pearl', just as the Diamonds that came after White got their own pearls and identified them also as 'Yellow Pearl', 'Blue Pearl', and eventually, 'Pink Pearl'.

Other pearls of course came after, with facets and jobs, serving under gems who served under the Diamonds.

This Pearl, White Pearl, was currently in jail.

Where she'd been for quite some time.

She stayed in a cell, in isolation, simply dubbed dangerous with no interaction whatsoever. She supposes she should be honored to be called "dangerous" as a pearl, but if anyone said it aloud itd be followed by laughter. A pearl? Dangerous? It did seem laughable, to everyone but pearls perhaps

And the gems shes poofed, or worse.

But even in Isolation, Pearl has learned things. Between the chatty pebbles and the gossiping guards, she knows of the rebellion, of Pinks shattering and all that led up to it. She knows that poor Pink Pearl was taken by White Diamond, sometime after Pearls imprisonment. The thought makes her boil, that little Pink Pearl was with that cruel eye sore, controlled like a puppet no doubt, the young Pearl was not made for a diamond like White.

Then again... Pearl wondered if any gem was made for a diamond like White. If they should be made for anyone.

She certainly wasnt.

She served for a long time, was perfect, and loved and hated in equal measures by other gems. But she protected her fellow pearls, and she served her Diamond, and in secret well... in secret she saved. She saved discarded gems, she saved the mistreated, she saved the defective and off color.

She supposes, she may have been the first rebel. But she couldnt know for sure.

But the rebellion has grown great, since her imprisonment. She thinks many of the ones she freed may have joined, the way they know things, the inner workings, it makes sense. She hopes they have saved others as well, that her efforts were not in vain, and she hopes one day for her fellow diamond Pearls to be free.

Her head tilts towards the door from where it rests on her knees, hearing a commotion of sorts outside and hoping for some more intel. Anything to interupt the ever present silence of her cell.

"You're lost arent you."

"No! This is just a... detour..."

"Uh huh."

"I've never been here before! Leave me alone!"

Pearl shakes her head at the poor souls,

"Turn left then right at the end of the hallway and you'll be back on track for an exit." She calls, turning her face just enough to be heard but not bothering to sit up or remove her head from her knees.

"Who said that!?"

She doesnt bother to answer, they'll follow the directions eventually, and Pearl will be left alone once again.

"Is, someone in there?"

"Oh so you arent here to break me out?" She says sarcastically, "the guards will be by any moment now, I suggest you leave before you lose your chance."

"Cant, I have a... leg dislocation... that can only be cured by you answering our questions."

"We're manifestations of light, I doubt your... leg is dislocated." Not the type of conversation Pearl assumed shed be having anytime soon, but its noise at least.

"Am, this cell is marked 'dangerous', I think we should go..."

"If shes a danger to homeworld dont you think we should take her with us?"

"Dangerous is dangerous!"

"Guys, nows not the time to argue, just ask. Hey! Ms.Dangerous, why are you in jail?"

From what Pearl can tell, theres three gems outside her door. They dont sound like court gems, at least not really, they're obviously running, and she knows what their running from wont be far behind. If she remains silent long enough, perhaps they'll take the hint and leave.

"You broke her L. Hey! My dislocation is worsening!"

Or not, why is 'Am' so stubborn.

"Its like you three want to get captured."

"... theres way more than three of us..." the voice changes slightly, "yeah! Theres... an army of us."

"Very convincing. Though, as an Amethyst you could be considered an army in some cases I suppose." Pearl muses, amused by the stuttering and furious whispers that come after.

"We should leave! This gem could be serious trouble!"

"Yeah, that was kinda spooky..."

"...why do the Diamonds consider you Dangerous?"

"Havent you heard? No, youre probably much too young... Im a treasonous gem, a threat to homeworld and all it stands for, a shatterer too good for shattering. I think they hope to recondition me someday, when they remember im here." Pearl chuckles without humor, "now, I can hear the guards coming, I do suggest you go. They will shatter you on spot at best, torture you for information at worst."

Theres some more whispering, then perhaps silent conversation as theres no movement, she presses her face further into her legs as the silence bears down once more. Perhaps they were cunning, and tricked her, perhaps they werent running at all, perhaps now she would be shattered or worse. She couldnt care really. Most gems have probably forgotten her anyway, she had no more use.

The lock on her door clicks, but she doesnt move, she doesnt need to show them dignaty, she will die how she likes thank you. Light creeps in from the hall as the door opens slowly, itd been a long while since shed seen light. Theres a gasp and she turns her face ever so slightly to see a Lapis, Peridot and a small Amethyst in the doorway. They are not dressed in diamonds regalia, nor do they look like part of the courts shed seen so long ago.

They bore stars.

"Youre the Pearl arent you? The one they all talk about but pretend not to talk about up here. The one all those off colors and stuff mention!"

"Oh they call me 'the' Pearl now. I suppose thats better than what the Diamonds call me." She stays where she sits, staring with one eye, curiously at the three gems.

"Wait, you mean this is the Pearl that was fighting the good fight like all those years ago?" Amethyst questions with a raised brow.

"Id say there was one fight really." Pearl mumbles, thinking of the events that led to her being in this cell. The pain still lingers sometime, in the long silences. Of punishments and fights and failure. Of never being good enough, even when you tried so hard to be.

"So you are! I cant believe White D didnt shatter you..."

"Oh dear, there are worse things than shattering." Pearl says sadly, pressing the hidden side of her face further into her leg with a grimance, "give a purpose and take it away. Give a reason to live, then destroy that, and let them stay to watch their world crumble. There are worse things than rejoining the dust of the universe."

"You can still have a reason... you obviously still want to help. So... join the Rebellion." Lapis says it a little awkwardly, like she hasnt asked before. She must be newer.

"Yeah, pretty sure G already got the other pearls, you can come too." Amethyst says.

"Whatever you decide, hurry, I hear them coming!" The Peridot looks nervously over her shoulder, frame trembling slightly.

Pearl lifts her head then, looking at the three fully, she ignores their gasps,

"The other Pearls. You mean the diamonds Pearls?? Theyre free?"

"Uh, yeah. We were the distraction. G and the others should have them..."

But little Pink, they'd need her help to free her from Whites control. It may be the last thing she does, but she will not leave little Pink in torture any longer. Even if Blue and Yellow hate her now, even if they dont remember her, they were free, and Pearl would protect them.

"We better hurry then."

Pearl is up, leaping over their heads and pulling a bow from her gem, she shoots the two guards, poofing them. She turns back to the rebels, light no doubt glinting off the fractured cracks that travel from her temple all the way to her thigh, most hidden beneath clothes, but her face is a mess shes sure. She knows they stare, but they have no time.

"I may be old, but I'll fight for freedom, if you'll have me."

"Yeah dude, youre awesome."

[gaygay--astronaut]

To cope with the world I’ve reverted into my teenage obsession with Lady Gaga and such will now post my top 45 Gaga songs with links for you to listen bc I can

45. Just Another Day - good song, just pleasant to listen to

44. Sine From Above - Elton John sings the second verse!

43. The Fame - namesake of her first album. Makes me think about the sun and the color yellow

42. Just Dance - a classic, her first single ever

41. Swine - it’s abrout a horrible topic but it just slaps!

40. Gypsy - sadly the title is a slur :( at least the song is good

39. Born This Way - ah, a gay anthem! Bet you thought it’d make it higher on the list but err just are too many good songs

38. Beautiful, Dirty, Rich - waaaayyy too underrated tbh

37. Mary Jane Holland - 420 BLAZE IT

36. Money Honey - the song is orange and also gold diggers

35. Dope - emotional, struggling with addiction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

34. Angel Down - well I did say to distract from the current situation but this song is about police brutality and the leaders’ failure to act. It was released in 2016 and it’s still way too topical

33. Alejandro - also a classic, don’t talk to me or my machine gun tits ever again!

32. Sexxx Dreams - she’s bi and ready to get down

31. Hair - oh god this song used to mean so fucking much to me! “I just wanna be free/I just wanna be me/and I want lost of friends that invite me to their parties/I don’t wanna change/and I don’t wanna be ashamed/I’m the spirit of my hair/It’s all the glory that I bear” 😭

30. Sinner’s Prayer - just a good country song

29. Paper Gangsta - idk what to say but it’s dark green if that makes sense?

28. G.U.Y. - best song on ARTPOP but still not higher on this list lmao

27. Love Game - lets have some fun this beat is sick I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

26. Yoü and I - Brian May, guitarist in Queen behind songs like We Will Rock You and Show Must Go On, plays guitar on this and I am LIVING for it

25. So Happy I Could Die - perfectly captures the feeling of sitting alone in the bathtub with a bottle of champagne crying alone trying to convince yourself that you’re fine but the world is falling apart around you so you pop more pills

24. A-YO - fun country bop ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

23. Stupid Love - actually really hated it the first time I heard it but now it slaps

22. Fun Tonight - also from Chromatica, also started out pretty “meh” but has grown on me

21. Marry The Night - BOY!! Back when I was depressed in high school this song was literally the only thing that could make me feel slightly better. It literally saved my life, y’all!

20. Sour Candy - don’t really listen to kpop but Black Pink and Gaga do a good job on this one

19. John Wayne - feels like a mix of classic Gaga with the more country sound of Joanne and I love it!

18. Dancin’ In Circles - it’s about masturbation and it slaps

17. Dance In The Dark - the lyrics reads like discovering and exploring your own queerness and a woman (and tbh the whole Fame Monster album has that vibe and I might post an analysis some day bc hello I’m going back to old obsessions)

16. Joanne - a beautiful farewell song about Gaga’s dead aunt who’s been really influential in the life

15. Judas - I’m so gay for Gaga in the music video tbh (I’m always gay for Gaga tho)

14. Million Reasons - idk it gets me all emotional and stuff

13. Paparazzi - another classic and tbh who doesn’t like this song???

12. 911 - best song on Chromatica hands down, beep listening to it on repeat since release

11. Highway Unicorn (Road To Love) - gaydies and motorcycles are literally my sexuality thanks gaga

10. The Edge of Glory - it’s so hopeful and cathartic in a way and also saxophones 🎷

9. Bad Kids - be gay do crimes

8. Bad Romance - bet you thought this would be higher on the list? It slaps tho and Gaga in the music video!!! 😍😍😍

7. Electric Chapel - yes. just, yes

6. Diamond Heart - I have a tattoo for this song so I guess I like it or something?

5. Bloody Mary - when I went to the Born This Way Ball during this song Gaga made eye contact with me for several seconds and I died and rose again and I GOT IT ON CAMERA LOOK!

4. Americano - be gay overthrow the government

3. Government Hooker - it a banger

2. Starstruck - words cannnot fully express how this song makes me go hog wild asdffgkjfjjjdkd!!

1. Teeth - this was my favorite Gaga song in 2009 and it is my favorite Gaga song 2020 fight me

If you want to listen to the playlist with all these songs it’s here✨

[yiayeeeet]

SU Possible spoilers IDK it’s just a theory for how the show could end. And it also contains little stuff from recent episodes. Anyways so a ton of people are theorising that because Steven is almost 18 he’s gonna leave and being his journey on becoming an adult and all that sort of stuff. Me being Australia and from an area where the culture’s different it doesn’t seem right with how Steven panicked so badly in Growing pains for Greg, the gems, or even Connie to allow him to go off by himself. So in my opinion I don’t really think that this option is viable. We’ve seen in the current episodes that being around Connie and Greg (before the ‘proposal’) gave Steven a sense of comfort and safety, but when we see his previous reactions with the gems (Snow day although they just didn’t really understand him growing up) and with how badly he reacts when they try to get him to open up with them I think the end of the series is going to be what like a lot of people are suggesting, Steven leaves Beach City, but I don’t think he leave alone. I believe that in the final few episodes there’s going to be a massive fight between Steven and the gems maybe even with Peridot, Lapis and Bismuth. Now I’m not posing them as the bad guys at all but they’ve each done something to severely scar Steven whether intentional or not. Pearl has poofed right in front of him and no one had explained to him before what poofing was and he thought she had died. Amethyst nearly did die/shatter in front of him and she also made him experience significant stress when turning into his dead mom and with her fighting Garnet in the wrestling episode. Garnet has been destabilised in front of him, nearly come undone when she was met with the forced fusions, freaked him out over Meat Beat Mania and he was obviously scared of her when he refused to hand over the mirror with Lapis’ gem to her. Peridot has tried to kill and kidnap him on multiple occasions. Lapis stole his ocean and nearly drowned him, plus the whole experience he had to go through when trying to make Peridot and Lapis get along. Bismuth nearly did kill him. I imagine that being around these people wouldn’t be good for him. Yes, they have changed but they are strongly linked to traumatic parts of Steven’s life. Whilst I don’t want him to leave them behind I think that what’s best for Steven is to not put himself in a stressful situation by staying with them but to leave them. The crystal gems, the uncorrupted gems, even beach city itself each of these have such strong connections with such a traumatic part of Steven’s life that I don’t reasonably think he will be able to live there anymore without it causing him significant distress. So I think the last scene of Steven leaving Beach City is not to go find himself or to live in the real world but to go live a new life. One where he doesn’t have to worry about being a gem, being his mother or whatever he may have believed when he was younger but just being human. I imagine he’s quite distressed at finding out that not going to school isn’t normal and even if he isn’t I imagine he almost desperately wants to try ‘human’ things. I think that the next chapter in Steven’s life is the end of his gem life. Yes he will always have his powers, that is a part of him that will never change and may even shape him as he grows older, but I imagine that it will become the backstage part of Steven life. I’d like to think that he does normal kid things like make friends his own age, going to school even if it is night classes to make up for the countless years he missed, go to amusement parks without seeing the rollercoaster crash into the ocean. I think that the big fight with the gems is going to be the fact that they don’t know the limits of humans. None of them do, not even Rose/Pink knew and she had a zoo dedicated to them. Their not understanding of Steven’s human half and just the vastness of the stress they put Steven under as a child is what I think is going to push Steven to explain to them that, even though they are thousands of years old and have lived among humans for nearly as long, they do not understand just how badly Steven is messed up because of the stuff they did when he was younger. He’s going to have to explain to them that they didn’t mean to do anything wrong but it’s still badly affected him and he’s hurting really badly because of it and unfortunately he can’t be around them because of it, they just remind him too much of his past and cause him so much stress just being around him that its almost impossible for him to live with it all. And so they agree, Steven will have to leave them. They’re hurting because their baby is leaving and they are the reason for this pain but they know that he will be hurt more if he stays. They love him so much that they have to let him go. And he still loves them so much that he knows that’s what’s best for him it leaving them. He won’t stay away forever though, but the constant reminder isn’t good for him, he needs a break from them to grow and to heal. He needs the ability to heal in a new place without his past mistakes and traumas to distract him. Now this is where Greg and Connie become important, some of you may think that it’s then bad for Steven to continue his relationship with Connie since she’s also linked with the gems and his traumatic past but she’s also linked with spending time together, playing instruments and being human in general and being human with him. Greg is his father so no shit he won’t leave him behind especially not now when he saw Steven’s breakdown in the hospital he’s going to need Greg and Connie more than ever for emotional support. This is sort of like the scenario with Spinel in the movie, Steven being Spinel, the Diamonds representing Greg and Connie and P!Diamond representing The crystal gems. Yes the diamonds aren’t ideal they are linked with Pink and Spinel’s past as she was witness to them giving Pink her own Colony however they are so much better for Spinel than if she had tried to live with Rose when she had changed, or if she had tried to live with Steven. She needed a new place to grow and to change, with someone she trusted (Although not as much as Steven trusts Connie and Greg) but also someone who knew about her past slightly and how to help her with it. Steven needs the same at the moment, some place new, with people he trusts, who know about his past but aren’t directly linked to the worst of the worst of it to help him heal. I actually think Spinel is going to show up in one of the later episodes because of this and this may be where we finally see the diamonds along with the reason why white looks so distressed in the intro. Anyways that’s my two bits!

[puyopct]

:\ \ ——

JACOB ARTIST, DEMIBOY, THEY/HE -——- patrick woods has been identified as a twenty-nine year-old resident with fusion, possession, and power enhancement. their files indicate that they work as a scientist, and may be closely linked with the underground. they are known to be diligent and cryptic, and knew the deceased because they were privately funded to conduct illegal research. ( admin rowlet, they/he, 24, pst )

whaddup whaddup! here’s pt.2 of rowlet’s shady character duo, pat pat! i’ve listed some wanted connections here, but feel free to smash that like button if you want a plot with him, or if you just feel like pressin’ it. anyway, on with the show!

+  +  +  overview

— usually quiet, likes to think he’s witty and funny but in reality he’s just awkward as hell and doesn’t know how to talk to people. he could, on the other hand, talk endlessly about scientific jargon that nobody gives an absolute f about. and video games, especially puyo puyo. all he listens to is video game music.

— extremely passive, if you punched him he’d probably rate it on a scale of 1-10 and tell you how to improve. the aquarius is strong with this one. would never hurt a fly, and if he did he’d put a Hello Kitty bandaid on them because uwu

— but also like... he’s a shady bitch? says very odd things that can be misconstrued as a threat or something dangerous. is he srs or nah? that is the Question. he’s one third of raul’s illegal science team that is euna and isaac, otherwise known as the Bisquick Crew™, they research illegal things and create illegal substances. what you may ask? i suppose that might be revealed soon...

— copes with his anxiety thru fusion (more below)

— i feel like i just gotta include this somewhere lol but this bitch chubby cuz he eats goldfish (the processed crackers shit, not like actual Goldfish) and lumpia all day, please squish him in a hug.

— now that raul’s dead he’s trying to maintain his composure on the legitimacy of his research and where it will be going forward without his boss.

+  +  +  powers

— okay this is the part where i follow up and explicate on Pat is a Shady Bitch. his primary powers are fusion and possession, which allow him to combine with other mutants. who controls their fused mutant body is really a matter of willpower. most of the time pat is more inclined to take a backseat so he can study up, but when he’s feeling particularly devious or itching to get in the driver’s seat he can just take over. idk maybe he possessed someone to kill raul oh whoops.

— also has power enhancement, so whoever he’s fused with gets a sharp, nifty upgrade to their powers, tenfold easily. it’s good for people who are just exploring their powers cuz they get to know what a taste of control feels like without having to even put in the work.

— fusion wears off the second both parties consent to defusion or if they get knocked out. not like sleep but like... air knocked right outta them. the aftereffects of fusion can result in separation anxiety, especially if the fusion was sustained for quite awhile.

— the resulting fusion only contains subtle traits of his dna, so he could technically just hide in someone else’s body and not many people could tell. it would also be possible to fuse more than two mutants, but pat has never done such a thing.

+  +  +  history

patrick woods grew up without many friends. not because he was a mutant, but more or less because he grew up shy, lonely, and socially awkward. raised in oakland, ca (occupied Ohlone) not too far from diamond city, his two non-mutant parents worked tirelessly just to put bread on the table. as a result of their absence, pat didn’t have much of a support system growing up. his one constant source of validation was how proud he made his parents in school, and so he invested his time into his classes to do well. he could never sustain any friendships, as his peers found him too erratic and secretly needy.

it didn’t help when his powers began to manifest towards the end of high school. most people made fun of him, as if he was a dare to be conquested. but the one thing about fusion was that it let him into the minds and bodies of others, and he began to use it to study his peers. but, more than that, he used fusion to cope with not having friends, becoming co-dependent with his powers. and, in doing so, discovered that it was the perfect, unconventional way to do research.

he set his dreams on becoming a scientist and entered a ph.d program. during the research phase of his program, he decided to conduct his work in diamond city not just because it was close to home but because of the large mutant population. his dissertation on mutant genome sequencing was discovered by raul, who kept him in mind for a secret project. shortly after completing his dissertation, he packed his bags to move full time to diamond city to work for raul under what would now be known as the underground.

+  +  +  wcxns

— acquaintance/friend. definitely have interacted, perhaps not in awhile. perhaps they used to grab taro milk tea with boba together every once in awhile.  but what was once a friendship became distant, perhaps because of raul’s death. will it unite them or cause a rift?

— fellow geek. nintendo+ nerds for life. they’re friends on discord and steam, and have likely stayed up until 7am playing video games together when the sunrise hits their face. such is the tortured life of a gamer. pat hasn’t logged on in awhile, and maybe they’re concerned about him.

— training buddy/research subject. the current mutant he’s researching, on the down low or not. they needed help with their powers, pat’s all game for helping people. little do they know there’s a catch, but sometimes the benefits far outweigh the negatives. after all, pat gives good, honest, and thoughtful feedback.

— fusion buddy. it started as either a joke or an experiment, really. but now they’re slightly co-dependent on sharing a body because their separation anxiety has gotten out of control. they’ve tried to break it off, perhaps for awhile, but they always seem to keep coming back to each other.

— panic button. when all else fails, call them at 3am. pat’s not exactly an open person, but something about them makes him invite himself over so he can snuggle up or sleep on their couch. when everything goes wrong, they’re the first person to hear it.

— political differences. being a member of the underground can be really polarizing, especially since pat’s doing illegal work. he tries to justify to himself that he’s doing something good, but this person and him absolutely butt heads over what is morally correct, what is grey, what is wrong. it never ends well.

— he hella sus. they know he’s up to no good, past his dumb ol’ facade. they see him around, perhaps either on a commute or have interacted with him a little more personally. and they see right past his facade of innocence and geekiness. pat’s up to no good, and they know it.

— tensions high. put them in a room together and it won’t end well. one would never think pat could become such a fesity, snarky person, but here he is, chiding away. whether it was a falling out or some petty disagreement that exploded, these two are on the precipice of a fight. 

— the crush. they reduce him to rose-pink blushes. most of the time he’s already tripping over his words, but he can hardly utter a word around them.

— accomplice. down to get materials for his research at whatever cost. he needs mutant and dna samples, he has a secretly funded lab, dangerous chemicals, and raul backing him. or he did. now they have to figure out what they’re doing post raul’s death, and it’s up in the air.

[cosaimai]

Actually, 1-170, game 😝

why do you subject me to this torture lmao 

but imma do it regardless (leaving out all the ones i’ve already answered ofc)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

Goth of course

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

hmm i didnt play many video games when i was super young so prob bioshock infinite

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

my best friend (@lauren-pc), my fictional crushes… (lets not judge me alright, i dont have a life), does the ocean count?

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

melancholic 

9: Are you ticklish?

yes

10: Are you allergic to anything?

lavender

11: What’s your sexuality?

asexual (homoromantic)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

tea

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

hmm prob dog bc even tho cats are adorable their fur tends to bother me since it sheds a lot more easily (which is why i love hairless cats)

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

I havent checked in a while since I don’t own a scale, but I think around 91-95lbs

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

yes

21: Are you religious?

nope lol

22: Pet peeves?

smacking, chewing w your mouth open, not using a coaster

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

nocturnal !!

24: Favorite constellation?

hmmm prob Ursa Major

25: Favorite star?

Deneb or maybe Beta Draconis

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

I am scared of all dolls, so, no

27: Any phobias or fears?

spiders & most bugs, also more specifically, dying in a sinking car

28: Do you think global warming is real?

ye

31: Do you get scared easily?

nope

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

six i think

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

11/10 :)

34: What is a color that calms you?

ocean blue ♥

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

in Washington state, preferably close to the coast

36: Where were you born?

texas

38: Introvert or extrovert?

extreme introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

ehh, they’re interesting and i do think you can apply them to people, so maybe ig

40: Hugs or kisses?

ughh i guess hugs

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

my best friend

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

again, my best friend

43: Any piercings you want?

spider bites (which i’m getting soon !!), daith, conch, maybe an industrial, maybe a nostril piercing 

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

if you can’t tell, yes lol

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

I don’t, the closest I’ve come is vaping bc my friend’s step brother & his friend wanted me to try his vape

48: A sound you really love?

heavy rain/thunderstorms

49: Can you do a backflip?

um lmao no

50: Can you do the splits?

I think I still have my right splits, not my left or middle tho

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

i guess I’d have to say Jake Gyllenhaal tho

53: How are you feeling right now?

i am tired

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

probably red or black, idk

55: When did you feel happiest?

probably last year, almost anytime during history class

56: Something that calms you down?

ASMR videos

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

none that are prof-dxed

58: What does your URL mean?

 oh i’ve told this tale many times on this blog, but to tell it once again: I used to go by the name Mai, and I used to be obsessed with space so cosmic+mai=mai and for some reason i made it cosaimai so basically cosmic mai mai

59: What three words describe you the most?

quiet, jaded, eccentric 

60: Do you believe in evolution?

yeah, i guess so

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

if the content is really my thing or the person running it is transphobic/homophobic/etc. 

64: Favorite animal(s):

BATS ♥♥♥

66: Favorite emoticon:

c:

67: Favorite meme:

i can’t choose just one, i mean, pretty much any meme @lauren-pc sends me is pretty high quality

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

INTP

69: What is your star sign?

Aries

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

I have two dogs and no

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

uhhh probably my new killstar bittersweet babydoll dress

72: Post a selfie or two?

i posted two yesterday sooooo….

73: Do you have platform shoes?

i do !!

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i can cross both my eyes, as well as cross just one at a time

75: Can you do a front flip?

nope, i wish

76: Do you like birds?

ehh, they’re alright 

77: Do you like to swim?

not really

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

i do not like either, but i guess swimming

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

Donald Trump

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

Can I say Starfleet?? bc i’m gonna say Starfleet

81: Piercings you have?

none :’(

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

sleeping

83: Favorite person to talk to:

@lauren-pc

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

that it was extremely boring, and here i am almost 5 years later

85: How many followers do you have?

364

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

hell no

87: Do your socks always match?

yes, i actually specifically wear all black socks for this reason

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

ye

89: What are your birthstones?

diamond is the only one i know

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

a bat :)

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

hmmm…. this is difficult but probably like Cranesbill Geranium or smth

92: A store you hate?

Ross

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

none, coffee makes me sick :/

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

read minds

95: Do you like to wear camo?

no

96: Winter or summer?

winter i guess

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

I have no clue, but probably less than 30 secs

98: Least favorite person?

well out of the people i know personally, probably my friends boyfriend

99: Someone you look up to:

oh gosh, i have no clue

100: A store you love?

if online stores count, definitely Killstar

101: Favorite type of shoes

tbh flipflops bc I’m lazy

102: Where do you live?

Texas

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

no, i wish i had the will to be a vegetarian 

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

aura quartz 

105: Do you drink milk?

Yes, milk is great tho my mild lactose intolerance disagrees with this fact

106: Do you like bugs?

no

107: Do you like spiders?

especially no

108: Something you get paranoid about?

usually bugs crawling on me while i sleep, or someone breaking into my house while i sleep

109: Can you draw:

i can, debatable whether it’s good or not tho

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

no one tends to ask me very nosy questions

111: A question you hate being asked?

i’m open to pretty much any questions, but i guess i hate boring ones, none in specific come to mind

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

I might have been, I didn’t know whether it was a spider bite for sure or not

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

yes

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

cloudy

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

no one actually, I’m in a very touch averse mood

116: Favorite cloud type:

cirroctratus 

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

dusty pink or a darker shade of blue

118: Do you have freckles?

nah

119: Favorite thing about a person:

i don’t quite get what exactly this is asking but i guess appearance-wise, hands

120: Fruits or vegetables?

fruits

121: Something you want to do right now:

go to a lake or beach

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods?

sweet

124: Bright or dim lights?

dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

not really, unless you count aliens 

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

all the drama

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

it’s easy to find content i enjoy

128: What do you think about the least?

i guess politics ?? i have no clue

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

“NOW AS DEAD OUTSIDE AS SHE WAS INSIDE”

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

No one comes to mind, except perhaps Donald Trump

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

my weirdness, it’s interesting but usually deters people

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

no, i hate my teeth

133: Computer or TV?

TV I suppose

134: Do you like roller coasters?

nope

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

not usually

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

attached

137: Do you believe in karma?

no 

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

4/10

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

Ry, Cosai-chan, Cosai, Mai, Rave (idk how many of those count but there ya go)

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

no

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

nope

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

uhhh…. i’ve been called a bad influence so i guess i am

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

receiving 

144: What makes you angry

people who don’t listen/don’t think i know what i’m talking about

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

just english, though i could probably manage a conversation with my poor knowledge of french

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

girls & nb people

147: Are you androgynous?

i wish

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

eyes 

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

resilience 

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

The 80s for sure

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

kinda

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

no

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

sometimes

156: What embarrasses you?

almost everything i do when I’m around people bc for some reason i can’t help but think i mess up everything i do

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

being around people

159: How many people are you following?

709

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

11, 604 on this one; 288 on my gore blog; 848 on my bpd blog

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

29; 1; 0

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

7, 244

163: Last time you cried and why:

i don’t remember

164: Do you have long or short hair?

it’s kinda in between, i guess you could say long

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

a few inches above my waist

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

i dislike it because it’s boring and kinda pointless for the most part, but to each their own

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

occasionally 

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

not really

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

nope

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

yes

[dapperfvck-arc]

BASIC.

FULL NAME. John Constantine NICKNAME. officially, Conjob, mostly from his days on the punk scene. On the esoteric side of things he may be referred to “The Laughing Magician” or, more derisively “a petty dabbler”. BIRTHDAY. May 10 (by original Hellblazer canon, he was born in 1953, but I’ve taken it upon myself to adjust his birth year to some time in the early 70s give or take) ETHNIC GROUP.  Caucasian NATIONALITY.  English (with strongly implied deep Russian roots) LANGUAGE.  English, basic grasp of most major European languages, profound fluency in dead/magical/infernal languages SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Bisexual af RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Verse/continuity dependent, though this blog is fairly heavily multi-ship. However, it should be noted that on the MCU continuity, John is in an exclusive, committed relationship with Matt Murdock ( @dcviltongued ) CLASS. Middle to lower class. Is very good at getting fast money (scams, gambling, dealing in magic artifacts/antiques of questionable quality and veracity) so may appear to be better off at certain times HOME TOWN / AREA. Liverpool, England, but has been living in London since leaving the family home at 17. CURRENT HOME. Heavily verse/continuity/thread dependent. John is a frequent traveller. PROFESSION. Somewhat verse/continuity dependent. Really it’s just a matter of whether or not he charges for exorcisms or magic rituals. My personal endgame for John is legitimacy. Like becoming a preternatural PI (and sometimes mundane) for hire or whatever. As a general rule though, his profession is con artist. He’s never worked a honest day’s work in his life. The closest he ever got was when he was a “rock star”. He could also be considered a professional gambler, patronizing horse tracks, underground card games, legal casinos, and I imagine can hustle at pool. Scams range from blackmail to using his reputation as an occultist to take advantage of people willing to pay for spell work.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR. Short and usually rather messy. He rocks bedhead pretty aggressively. May be shaved and very short on the sides and styled into a faux to actual mohawk. He’s very blonde despite not getting very much sun as a general.  EYES. Electric blue, often almost fever bright. Deep and captivating, extremely intense straight on. NOSE. difficult to pin down due to the range of styles in which John have been drawn. Usually broad and more or less regular, occasionally somewhat crooked from being broken, though by and large, it’s portrayed as straight. Some artists, such as Moriat and Sean Murphy have drawn it as narrow and somewhat aquiline. I guess, I tend lean toward the former despite my deep love for Murphy’s interpretation of John, simply because I feel like my choice in FC is somewhat based on Tim Bradstreet and Leonardo Manco’s artistic interpretations of John, both of which I honestly adore just as well. FACE. Yet another loooong explanation here, I’m sorry. Artists tend to lean between giving him either a square face, classically handsome appearance (Steve Dillon, John Higgins, Ron Tiner, most of artists that have drawn him in the DC titles he’s appeared in), a broader, more every man appearance (Sean Phillips, Leonardo Manco to some degree, though later proved quite capable of drawing him stunningly handsome, and Tim Bradstreet), however still attractive but somewhat more haggard, stubbled, and/or slightly seedy in appearance, and finally a sharper, more diamond shape to his face featuring high cheekbones, a pointed chin and fine bone structure (Sean Murphy, Marcelo Frusin, and Moriat). Once more, in reference to my face claim for John, I suppose I tend to favour a more classically handsome appearance, simply because I like the idea of him having a pleasant, almost trustworthy face given that he is a con artist and considered an extremely good one (sometimes even the greatest con artist alive but idk whatever), and I feel like looking as dodgy as say, Frusin’s interpretation, I can’t imagine him being as successful as he is, you feel me? That guy looks like he’ll fuck you over for a corn chip. LIPS. Sensuous, faintly lined from his his smoking habit COMPLEXION.  Like any good Englishman that tends to move about by night and quite a bit dressed, John’s very pale. I do think he has a faintly pronounced undertone of pink. This colour will get brighter when he gets drunk, aroused, angry, or the exceedingly rare instance that he’s embarrassed  BLEMISHES. None SCARS. Aside from the scarification, which is better off detailed in the next section, and I ALWAYS FORGET TO MENTION THIS, he definitely has a long scar over one eye from a demon trying to cut it out with a blade. Since many magic rituals call for blood, I head canon that he also has faint scarring on his arms because he doesn’t practice human or animal sacrifice and his own blood instead.

TATTOOS. Arse tattoo of pine tree courtesy of Swamp Thing being a punk bitch, ritual tattoos faded into appearing as scarification. HEIGHT. 5′11 (184.34 cm) WEIGHT: prolly ranges between 150-160lbs (140 at his lightest) BUILD.  Long legs, somewhat of a broad upper torso, can be a bit soft in the middle. In general, he’s rather thin but his musculature is not usually very defined. In other words, no big, sexy pecs or cut abs. If anything he’s more sleek lines and narrow planes. ALLERGIES.  none USUAL HAIR STYLE. Freshly fucked USUAL CLOTHING. Dark suits, usually dark blue or black and trench coat, usually tan, has also been portrayed as black, yellow, or a mossy kinda green. In theory it could be said that these aren’t just differing interpretations from artists but that John owns coats in different colours, styles, and fabrics, but his favourite is the tan, longer style

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR. abandonment, amounting to nothing, not being able to protect those he cares about ASPIRATION. survival, making some kind of mark on this world, a measure of contentment POSITIVE TRAITS. Compassionate and determined, above all. Though not about to admit to it, he's still deeply idealistic. Strangely forgiving. He doesn’t really keep grudges. Loving, considerate, understanding, and rarely judgmental  NEGATIVE TRAITS. Those good things up above? They’re encased in a shell of harsh cynicism and apathy. Depending on his mood or particular part of his life depends on how hard a shell he is to crack. He may also experience depressive periods where he doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything and just wants to drink. VICE HABIT.  Chain smokes, drinks, frequency dependent on what’s up in his life, though I do not believe he’s an alcoholic, sorry, because lol look, drinking a lot doesn’t mean you have a dependency. Indulges in drugs infrequently, mostly hallucinogens and weed, though I also tend to head canon that he flirted with a cocaine habit while fronting Mucous Membrane.  FAITH.  It’s complicated GHOSTS? Duh. He sees them plain as any living person AFTERLIFE?  Yeah, but uh, he doesn’t consider them eternal respites. They’re just planes of existence that he can either enter, leave, or pull people out. REINCARNATION? Maybe? ALIENS? I meeeeaannn....technically in DCU he’s acquainted with the concept of aliens and may or may not have fucked Hal Jordan POLITICAL ALIGNMENT. Liberal ECONOMIC PREFERENCE. comfortable  SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION. working class warlock EDUCATION LEVEL.  Predominately self-educated. His frightfully intelligent and has been cited as having genius level intellect. Although I’m not sure I’d go so far as confirm that, I do thing he’s extremely clever and pragmatic. School bored him to tears and he was the type of kid the counselors and teachers say “exceedingly bright but unwilling to apply himself”. He reads voraciously, has an eidetic memory, and isn’t afraid of putting himself in new situations.

FAMILY.

FATHER.  Thomas (dead, murdered by the Family Man) MOTHER.  Mary Anne (died in child birth) SIBLINGS.  Cheryl (murdered by husband, currently residing in Hell), an unnamed twin brother referred to as the Golden Child or Boy, the true heir to the Laughing Magician (stillborn, soul was later absorbed by John in trippy magic ritual, only to be expelled later in life when it was revealed that...uh...he was influencing John’s destiny to be perpetually sabotaged. Hellblazer’s a weird comic, you guys) EXTENDED  FAMILY.  Gemma, his niece. They have a rather stormy relationship. Chas, his best mate. Lovers may also be included in this. NAME MEANING. John: Jehovah has been Gracious/Shown Favour (lmao) Constantine: Constant, steadfast, generally referred to as “The Constant One”

HISTORICAL CONNECTION. Is strongly implied that John’s related, if perhaps distantly, to Constantine the Great.

FAVOURITES.

BOOKS.  Prefers non-fiction MUSIC. Rock music, most notably 70s and 80s era punk rock. Likes the Pogues. Given the stack of evidence that John skirts the edge of the Goth scene cos he likes the aesthetic on women, I have a feeling he’s adopted into his music tastes. The Cure, Smiths, and Cocteau Twins in reference to an 80s mixtape John might make. Which i question the Smiths heavily, but The Cure and Cocteau Twins seems fairly legit. I bet Kit loved the Cocteau Twins. In that same vein of thought, although I tend to think John doesn’t like electronic music, he may have adopted some industrial bands into his preferences but he’s not about to talk about ti any time soon. DEITY.  Whichever one doesn’t hate him HOLIDAY.  doesn’t care MONTH. same SEASON.  Fall PLACE.  London or New York, in the case of sentimentality that he will never be able to get back to, the years when he was bumming around Ireland with Brenden and Kit WEATHER. Overcast SOUND.  He’s a city boy through and through, even if he may get frustrated with society on a whole, so he’s comforted by city sounds more than silence SCENT.  A freshly poured pint, the first cigarette of the day, skin and sex sweat TASTE.  Gin FEEL. He’s a sensualist. Body to body, breathing another person’s breath, his please, another person’s pleasure, his pleasure, all that good stuff. I also feel like he enjoys being drunk or stoned for the sake of having his thoughts dulled to a degree. He’s the sort of man who has lots of thoughts and situational observational input. John is basically perpetually mentally overstimulated and he likes the relief from that in inebriation. ANIMAL.  Fox  NUMBER.  hahaha idea numerology man COLOUR.  warm and neutral tones

EXTRA.

TALENTS. So many. He’s a jack of all trades in a lot of ways. He can pick a lock, displays some artistic talent in that he can draw very intricate magic circles and sigils, if you consider that John wrote Venus of the Hardsell, he’s clearly got some ability to express himself in lyrics and words, i like to think he can play guitar, is apparently good with delicate craftsmanship (he used to help Dani build furniture for her dollhouses. This is canon by the way), suppose you could say he can sort of sing, but that’s debatable, and of course he’s very manipulative and speaks very well, is educated enough to be able to bullshit through various situations. TURN ONS. Total ass man, loves a great ass on a man or woman, dark hair, dark eyes, strong men, he’s a switch, but loves being manhandled and dominated to a degree, by either gender, honestly, danger, open affection, being wanted, loved, and cherished. So many things, honestly. John Constantine is easy. TURN OFFS.   Hardcore kink HOBBIES. Sleep, pub crawls, pretending he’s normal, reading TROPES. Con man with a heart of gold, charming bastard, unrepentant rogue, urban magician, supernatural detective, living legend AESTHETICS. smoke, chalk dust, wind and rain swept streets, London after midnight, narrow, dark alleys, haunted places, rumpled bed sheets, messy hair, dive bars, wicked smiles, deep kisses

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC. Ewan McGregor // comic caps from various issues he’s appeared ALT  FC. Keanu Reeves for my filmverse OLDER  FC. Don’t have one as yet YOUNGER  FC. Ewan McGregor   VOICE  CLAIM.  Jason Stathem

Tagged by: @vamptrampbamf Tagging: lmao fuckin everyone.

[idk-imsam]

Steven Universe Conspiracy Theory

So, I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist but overall a lot of the theories I've seen so far make sense. One of the theories I've read is that White Diamond is the oldest of the diamonds and was in fact the *FIRST* diamond to be created. Yellow and Blue diamond were made at the same time, meaning they're twins, which explains why they're so sympathetic towards each other. Pink diamond is the last and the youngest of the diamonds which is why she only had two circles in her mural (or however u spell it). But overall I think the reason why Blue diamond is grieving harder and more emotionally than the rest is because they were a lot closer and maybe even shared the same 'sympathy for the humans' thing. But also among the theories I've seen are a lot whom say Pink diamond started the rebellion in hopes of saving the earth from her unsympathetic siblings/diamonds/idk. My theory agrees with that. My theory is, Pink diamond created Rose Quartz only so she could start a rebellion that was her main purpose. Which could explain why she was such a gold fighter but in reality it doesn't explain why Rose would shatter her. But I think Rose never shattered her. And I know what the one eyes Ruby said. But overall she might not have actually seen that. It may have all just been a show. Which is entirely possible at this point. Yellow diamond doesn't see a point in preserving a legacy of her dead sister. She thinks the planet she was shattered on should be destroyed and wants to destroy all memory of her. She's trying forget because its much easier to forget about your pain than deal with it head on. Blue diamond wants to grieve. She still maintains her strong overall composer to outsiders who aren't diamonds. She's not afraid to be seen in sorrow or be seen struck by grief. White Diamond on the other hand is still MIA AF. But if she is anything like the rest of the diamonds I assume she prefers being isolated and busied. Or she may not even care about her sisters death or take it as hard as Yellow and Blue. We don't know. But overall I don't think that Rose Quartz shattered Pink Diamond but I do think that the sole purpose for the creation of Rose Quartz was for the rebellion/really painful war. Another thing is the last resort of Bismuth's weapon that could 'shatter any gem in the universe' why would Rose keep it even after putting Bismuth aside during the rebellion. I think it was honestly so she could use it on Bismuth. I know its an insane idea but think about it. There would be no reason for rose to even keep it if she was against shattering as a whole. But she kept it anyways. She kept because if Bismuth someway somehow came back and was still all the rage when it came to the war it was so she would use it on her and destroy the one who wanted to shatter other gems. And another suggestion is that Pearl knows a lot... Pearl had an insane reaction when they were told by the one eyed Ruby that she 'saw' Rose shatter Pink diamond. Which meant, Pearl knew about this. Pearl knew that Rose may have shattered pink diamond and so did Garnet but they didn't know for sure. Specially Pearl who is slowly coming to find out that Rose didn't tell her everything and they were at war and Rose was the leader she would've have to done some terrible and unthinkable things and made decisions that lead to equally terrible and unthinkable things. In the end of the day Pearl didn't belong to Rose. She wasn't her personal Pearl. We know that Pearl is in a lot of pain even after all this time. And we know that Pearl loved Rose and that may very well be the reason why she had such an emotional reaction when she heard the Ruby's words because maybe that would be her beloved Rose Quartz wasn't innocent of any real crime. It meant that Rose was in fact the criminal/Monster they all, at Home World, say she was. My conclusion is that Pearl may have in fact knew that Rose supposedly shattered Pink diamond but Pink diamond may have not in fact been shattered by Rose. That Rose was made only to lead this rebellion by Pink diamond. And another thought I just had was that maybe. Maybe, White Diamond shattered her sister because she was weak and sympathized the humans and planet earth then blamed it on the infamous rebellion leader Rose Quartz? Which tbh would be an awesome yet devastating plot twist.