#pinche vieja

[soxxshyl]

J! I haven't talked about her much.

In his own words he wants to prevent those two fools from causing a chemical disaster. [AAAND she likes that Tessa congratulates her on her good work]

Cyn

My sona and faemth sona 🦈

[the-annoying-moth]

No encuentro percibetormentas pipipi

[dragoncarrion]

i hate old people s,o much bruh

[pretentiouswreckingball]

If there ever was a day that I would wish to be an only child, it would be this one

[littlequeenpretty]

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[femininelookingmale]

al chile sí me emputé

[pinkslipxox]

Birthday Girl:

Summary: you and Miko celebrate her birthday 🎉

Warnings: fluff, smut 😘☺️

——————————————————————————

A smile spreads on your lips as you realize what today is. Sleeping peacefully besides you is your girlfriend— also known as the birthday girl— looking as beautiful as ever. Careful not to wake her, her straddle her, and admire her for a moment before waking her up.

“Feliz cumpleaños, mi amor,” you murmur softly, caressing her cheek. She stirs and murmurs something incoherently, making you giggle. Then suddenly, Miko wraps her tattooed arms around you, making you squeal and peppers your face with kisses.

“Gracias, mi vida,” Miko chuckles, a smile spreading on her lips. “How old am I again?”

“Twenty seven,” you giggle and Miko groans dramatically.

“Ya estoy vieja,” she huffs playfully and you lightly smack her shoulder.

“Lighten up, baby. I have presents for you!” you exclaim cheerfully and quickly leave the bedroom before Miko can say anything.

You’ve hidden the presents in one of the guest rooms. It has been hard to figure out what to get her, especially when she already has everything. The gifts you got her were simple, yet you know that she would be grateful even if you hadn’t gotten anything for her at all. If you could, you’d give Miko the world.

“Ay, mi amor, no tenías que regalarme algo,” Miko chuckles as you reappear into the bedroom with three birthdays bags that contain your gifts.

“It’s your birthday! Of course you’re getting presents from me,” you giggle as you straddle your girlfriend’s lap again.

“Which one should I open first?” Miko asks, smiling.

“The pink one,” you tell her and she nods.

You hold your breath as she takes out the presents. You had bought her a Powerpuff Girls coloring books, some new coloring pencils, paints and graffiti markers. You thought it was only fitting since she loves to draw.

“Ay, mi amor! Muchísimas gracias,” Miko coos, her eyes sparkling with happiness and appreciation.

“Don’t thank me just yet! Open the blue one,” you giggle and Miko does so.

“Que lindo!” Miko gasps as she puts on the crotched turquoise bucket that you’ve made for her. You even crotched her favorite Anime characters on it. “I love it! Thank you, baby.”

“And here’s the last one,” you say, handing her the green bag.

Miko opens the bag and pulls out the three new crop tops you bought her. They’re the exact ones that she was looking at online a few days ago. Of course, you just had to get them for her.

“Eres la mejor novia del mundo, Y/N. Muchas gracias,” Miko gushes as she outstretches her arms to you and you immediately wrap your own arms around her, tightly.

“I love you, María Victoria,” you whisper in her ear before peppering her cheek with kisses.

“Y yo a ti, Y/N. Desde el fondo de mi corazón,” Miko hums as she plants soft kisses to your shoulder. “How can I ever thank you?”

You chuckle softly. “Nothing like a little kiss will do the trick.”

With that, Miko pulls away ever so slightly, cupping your cheek as she tightens her grip around your waist. The intensity that she looks at you with almost leaves you breathless as she gently leans your head in, your lips molding together into a sweet, soft kiss. Miko deepens the kiss, her warm tongue massaging yours, your hands roaming each other’s bodies as soft moans and gasps escape your lips. Your hands gently palm her breasts, and you can’t help but smirk at the little whimper that she makes.

“Y/N… carajo…” Miko moans as your lips trail down her neck, leaving love bites on her skin, soothing the sting with your tongue afterwards.

“Let me take care of you, birthday girl,” you purr, your voice low and seductive.

At Miko’s approval, you remove her bra, and you can’t help but admire her tender, perky breasts. Her throws her head back in pleasure as you lightly pinch and squeeze her nipples, loving how they feel between your fingers. You take your time with her, admiring how her beautiful face contorts with pleasure at your touch. She’s lost in the moment, and so are you.

Your fingers grip the waistband of her boxers and she lifts her hips off the bed enough for you to tug them off. Your mouth waters at the sight of her glistening pussy, all for you. With that, you lose yourself between her legs again and plant a kiss to her pelvic bone, making her shudder.

“Y/N, por favor,” Miko whimpers, and you give into her pleas, slowly licking upwards before pressing your tongue flat on her clit, making her cry out. Her hand grips the back of your neck, drawing you deeper into her core.

Her moans are music to your ears, giving you all the encouragement you need to keep pleasuring her. She tastes so sweet, her scent intoxicating, like a powerful drug. You wrap y lips around her clit, sucking and making small strokes with your tongue. Her moans grow louder and her grip on my hair tightens as she moves her hips against your tongue, making you get the most out of her.

“Así! Carajo… ahí, más… más!” Miko gasps, her tone desperate, pleading. It makes your heart swell with pride and love for her, knowing that it’s you who’s making her feel this good. Especially on her birthday.

Miko screams your name, her back arched, legs shaking as her orgasm consumes her. You don’t stop until you taste every last bit of her sweetness, and you lick her inner thighs clean of her arousal before hoisting yourself up to kiss her lips. A blissful smile rugs at her lips, her cheeks flushed and her eyelids hooded.

“Eso fue increíble,” she breaths and gently caresses your cheek with her thumb. “Tú eres increíble, mi amor. Eres la mejor regalo de todos.”

Your heart swells at her sweet words. You kiss her forehead, then her nose, and then her lips.

“Feliz cumpleaños, María Victoria. Y que tengas muchos más de aquí en adelante,” you hum as you cuddle your girlfriend close.

“Que sea así, mi amor,” Miko murmurs as she kisses the top of your head. “Just as long as I have you by my side.”

[seagiri]

i love your lamari art <3, tho i wonder, and dont take this the wrong way, why do you ship them (like besides from them looking cute together, which they are :D), especially as kikimari is more popular.

i keep getting this question and I genuinely don’t know how to reply. I really like Kikimari but I also like the “short, buff and awkward” x “tall nerd” kind of dynamic. The more I think about it, the less sense it would made in canon. But I just think it would be cute, the two of them hanging out from time to time and having that kind of “we don’t talk about it” thing going on, genuinely learning to enjoy each others presence. Laios catching feelings without realizing and Namari having an inner battle about her own is really funny. I guess most DM ships are just like that.

TLDR; bisexuality is a hell of a drug

(Mención de spoilers)

También me gusta mucho que a pesar de que Namari no tenía muchos sentimientos fuertes sobre Laios al inicio del manga, el siempre le ha tenido confianza y la ha visto como alguien a respetar a pesar de que dejó el grupo. El siempre ha confiado en su criterio y en el transcurso del manga ella va y hace cosas para defenderlo o apoyarlo que siento tal vez no habría hecho antes. También se veía en flashbacks que iban a comprar armaduras juntos,,, y ese panel al final cuando Namari ve a Laios con la capa de rey y se sonroja??? Y todos la miran así 🤨?? La idea de que desarrolla un crush a partir de ahí me gusta mucho y Laios no piensa nada al respecto HE IS CLUELESS!! Y el ya tuvo un “finjo amistad pero no te soporto”, “finjo amistad porque no sabia como acercarme a ti (sentimientos complejos. Vamos a ser amigos)” y “finjo interés romántico por mejores tratos/beneficios”, pero qué tal . “No te veía así antes y mientras más tiempo paso contigo mas complicada se vuelve mi imagen de ti, creo que siento algo distinto que simplemente querer ser tu amiga”

Y NAMARI OH NAMARI, su arco es la razón por la que siento que el ship no funciona en canon, pero como lo interpreto yo, es que está un poco reprimida; en toda la historia de DM y en los extras nos revelan su historia y los prejuicios y la injusticia que ha pasado por cosas fuera de su control, y el dolor que eso causó a otros. Con la familia Tansu, Namari encuentra, pues, eso. Una familia. Con el resto del cast, Namari encuentra gente que la aprecia, gente que se preocupa por ella. Siento que con Laios es algo parecido, su party es su familia, y toda la gente que conoció en la mazmorra no son necesariamente amigos, pero confidentes y gente que ha visto de lo que es capaz. Ambos han pasado por discriminación y han lastimado sin querer y han tratado de arreglar sus errores, lastimándose a sí mismos en el proceso. Siento que ambos tienen experiencias similares en espectros muy distintos y que eso les ayuda a entender al otro y por eso mismo siguen regresando otro día a pasar el rato.

Y ni hablé de la vida de rey de Laios,,, me duele un poco el final de DM porque Laios es infeliz hasta cierto punto. Obviamente no se arrepiente de su decisión, y esa era la mejor opción que tuvo, pero no puedo evitar sentirme mal con el hecho de que no puede hacer lo que le gusta, las juntas con extraños, la política, todo esto que se indica que lo estresa y que Kabru es mejor manejando. Namari, Izutsumi y Senshi son lo más cercano que tiene a su vida vieja, y como Izu y Senshi viajan mucho, Namari es a quien tiene más posibilidades de ver (Aunque también viva bien pinches lejos), salir juntos es un escapismo del estrés de su vida actual- no hay responsabilidades, no hay otra persona que sepa que es lo que va a pasar el día siguiente, puede simplemente volver a ser el mismo Laios de siempre y tener la compañía de alguien que entiende la dificultad de tener que llegar a cierto estándar.

?????NADA DE ESTO TIENE SENTIDO LO SIENTO MUCHO SOLAMENTE PIENSO QUE NAMARI TIENE EL MAYOR PEGUE DE TODA LA ISLA Y SE MERECE TODO EN EL MUNDO + EL SHIP ES MUY GRACIOSO EN MI OPINIÓN ES LA MEZCLA PERFECTA DE ME DA RISA Y ES ALGO SUPER CASUAL Y COZY BASADO EN RESPETO MUTUO Y PASAR EL TIEMPO JUNTOS QUE ME DA UN POCO DE ENVIDIA PERDÓN POR TENER OPINIONES GRACIAS POR LEER me voy a aventar de un Barranco

[crumpleduppieceofpaper58]

Ikr like babe please, how is this not embarrassing for you?? 😭

Oh! That’s not..!

[genocidehim]

Nacho and Lalo both showing interest in the same girl and trying to woo her so they can share her?

notes: render is female, pre-throuple, Lalo is Lalo and Nacho tries to keep up with him. words: 930

It was a strange night in an even stranger club. Lalo didn't seem to be in sync with how his dealers were having fun, let alone the chicanos working for Tuco. But since Tuco wasn't there anymore, it was Lalo's turn to take charge. That included attending those out-of-place gatherings where everyone drank and looked for any girl to hook up with quickly and smoke something together. Lalo was probably too old for those things, but there was no excuse for Nacho. He was so uninterested in attending that he just stayed in a corner, talking and drinking with Lalo about business. It was the only thing they talked about, as if they truly had no interest in wasting their time on trivial matters.

Lalo kept watching the people around him while Nacho was more interested in staring at the liquid in his beer, moving the bottle back and forth as he listened to reggaeton playing in the background.

"Eh, cabrón. Mira a esa vieja"(Hey, man. Look at that lady) Lalo's voice snapped Nacho out of his trance, with a pat on his shoulder and a nod with his lips, Lalo pointed at you.

You were near the speakers, trying to ignore the guy who wouldn't stop hitting on you despite your persistent refusals.

"Está bien chula la cabrona..."(She's quite hot, damn...) Lalo mentioned with a smile on his face, quickly glancing at Nacho and realizing that he seemed interested too.

"Es bonita" (She's pretty) Nacho was somewhat reserved. He had seen you before and exchanged a few words with you in the past, but nothing too serious.

"¿Bonita? No mames, es un pinche mujerón" (Pretty? Damn, she's a fucking bombshell)

Both of them kept looking at you for a few minutes until you decided to move from that spot and walk towards the bar, resting your arms on the counter and turning your back to them. Lalo chuckled, and Nacho looked away when he realized he was being too obvious. However, Lalo wasn't exactly the most subtle guy in the world, so he soon got up from where he was and walked over to the bar to stand next to you. He wasted no time ordering a tequila on the rocks and offering you a drink.

"You look a bit bored, darling" Lalo mentioned as he leaned on the bar and observed you closely.

"More than bored, somewhat disappointed" you said as you took a sip of your drink.

"Disappointed?" he asked with a more interested tone. "And why is that, princess?"

"I thought the men here would be more interesting, but all they do is brag about their money and their guns."

Lalo noticed how you briefly glanced at the revolver he had on the edge of his jeans and made a comment with an obvious hint. Perhaps he thought you were already shutting him down to prevent him from trying to flirt with you.

"You should have gone somewhere else, sweetheart. What were you expecting living in a place like this?" he teased, and you saw something in his eyes that sparkled in the darkness of the club.

"Not you, definitely" you replied playfully. Lalo noticed your wit and smiled. "Aren't you a bit too old to be in clubs like this?"

"Don't let the gray hair deceive you, darling." Instead of getting offended, Lalo became even more interested in you. Not many girls mentioned his age and avoided his flirting. "Don't you like mature men?"

"It depends..."

"Depends on what?"

"Depends on whether he can buy me another whisky or not."

Your words made him burst into laughter due to your straightforward way of speaking. If Lalo was literally interested in you before, now he had your undivided attention.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the club, Nacho watched as Lalo made moves on you and seemed to be succeeding. Something inside him bothered him. He didn't precisely know what it was, but he felt uncomfortable seeing how easily Lalo managed to get close to you when Nacho had previously struggled to approach you with intentions of flirting. Nacho took one last sip of his beer, got up from where he was, walked towards the two of you, and positioned himself next to you to order another beer.

"Nachito" Lalo caught Ignacio's attention, also making you look at him. "Don't you want to join the conversation? Here, our lovely... What's your name, sweetheart?"

After telling him your name, Lalo smiled and continued. "Here, our little princess thinks Mexican men are boring. What do you think about that?"

"No, no. I didn't say they were boring" you laughed as you shook your head.

Nacho furrowed his brow and smiled at you, leaning a bit closer to get a better look at you.

"We're boring?" Nacho's voice had a playful tone.

"I didn't say you were boring... Your friend here is just misinterpreting my words" you excused yourself while pointing at Lalo, who simply raised his hands and feigned innocence.

"So... the princess thinks we only show off money and guns, huh?" Lalo added as he took a sip of the new beer he had ordered.

"Well, only idiots boast about those things" Nacho added, looking at you, and you looked back at him. You revealed a certain chemistry between the two of you.

"I think you need to meet real men, darling..."

Lalo exchanged a knowing glance with Nacho, and he understood what he meant. They both moved a bit closer to you, and you felt Lalo's warm hand resting on the lower part of your back.

[pbnjloverman]

"Kill your self, mileven its endgame and byler is bones, Mileven always wins"

Callanse a la Verga pinches milevens, su ship no sale de las alcantarillas ya vayanse a buscar chamba pinches vagos sin trabajo tienen como 97 años ya porfavor salgan de su casa y ponganse a tocar pasto malditas zorras espanta viejas repelente de personas ni las moscas se les acercan porque todos huelen a niñito virgen

(No todos Los milevens son malos pero hay algunos que son terribles)

[callixspod]

TF2 ocs

more info about them below!

Tobias “Toby” Blevins (BLU Scout); Black English immigrant. Lives in a town of Hackney near a district in East London, England. Worst possible town to live imaginable, but their family can manage (Maybe). Has been playing baseball all life, but he has to work his way to earn his rightful place to be one of the best of the best. Amazing accuracy for a pitcher to let every player throw off their guard. Fastest sprinter in the team, stealing home-base. If you ever had the chance to see his room, it's covered in gold medals and trophies head to toe. But it never really displayed his other hobbies. Or even who he is at all.

Raol Badillo Delgado (BLU Heavy); Hispanic Latino, later soon moved to America. Lives in a town from the province of La Habana Vieja (Old Havana), Cuba. There's a homey coffee shop run by a small family right around the corner of the Plaza. Everyone's tired faces spread a corner of their mouths an upturn grin, once you have a taste of their coffee. Raol was the heart of this establishment, carrying the heavy load that not even a team of four could handle. But he can stir up a kickass coffee. Upholding tradition for every elders to come and visit again, pinching his cheeks too roughly. Robbers and vandalizing are handled outside the block to not disrupt the environment for his customers. Oh yeah and he's strong too I suppose.

[tortillaspecter]

Pinche Vieja Chismosa!! Nomas anda en el mitote!!! Puro pinche pleito!!

[inkdrinkerworld]

falling is the last thing

pairing: javier peña x reader

it was hard trying to stop yourself from falling for him.

you were an informant- a means to help him put this entire pablo escobar business to rest, to be the one who got him put in prison or even put him to death.

to you, javier was a little more than ‘work.’

javier was nice to you, nicer than he had to be if your ‘relationship’ was purely physical.

he brought you dinner sometimes, or sometimes he’ll bring you an entire flan- one time just straight caramel.

he also listens, lets you talk after or before you have sex about anything- your day, work troubles, anything.

and every time he says, “dime mu��eca, por fa’” your heart flutters a little harder.

it was easy to see why javier being just work got conflated with him being something more.

like now, now you’re breathless and javier is sweaty as he pulls out of you.

“bueno?” he asks and you nod, letting him pepper kisses to your cheek and neck. “do you want the flan now?”

you laugh a little at that and javier pinches the tired flesh of your thigh, “sí o no? i’m going to have it if you don’t, muñeca.”

“i thought you got it for me?” you pout and bat your eyelashes and javier knows you’re playing coy but he feels the urge to kiss your dramatized pout away till you smile again.

“i did, pero es de la vieja.”

javier has never seen you sit up so fast, “bring it, and set the kettle on.”

he sets the flan in your hands and lays his head on your stomach and sighs.

“todo bien, javi?”

he tips his chin back and blinks his brown eyes tiredly at you.

“ah sí?” it sounds more like a question when he says it and that makes you frown- even as you have a bite of the flan.

“de verdad?” he sighs and your hand trails down his chest.

he plays with your fingers a little before saying, “escobar, it feels like every time we get close enough he’s a smoke cloud again.”

you could only imagine how hard it was for the DEA to try to nail him. it was hard enough to get any information on him now, he was paranoid about everything and everyone- including the women he frequented.

“you’ll get a break soon javi, you’ll outsmart him soon.”

you were hoping for it too. you’d never seen so many young children with guns or in body bags like you have since pablo came back to colombia.

you understood from the children’s point of view- what you were doing wasn’t far from what they were doing, but they were kids. they have their lives ahead of them.

“i hope so,” you offer him the plate and he shakes his head. “can i stay tonight? my locks aren’t good.”

it’s a lie that both of you know, he works for the DEA, you wouldn’t be surprised if his doors were bulletproof.

“mhm, but you can’t sleep on me again. you’re getting heavy.”

javier becomes instant dead weight the moment his eyes shut and he doesn’t move.

“rude!” he bites your hip making you laugh and push at his forehead. “maybe if you don’t scratch at my head i wouldn’t fall asleep that fast.”

you have a little back and forth, in which javi changes positions so he’s facing you and laying almost completely atop of you.

“can you scratch my head?” he asks almost shyly and you laugh.

“yeah javi, relajate vale?”

“vale muñeca,” he stamps a kiss between your boobs and sighs when your nails scratch his scalp, a tired, long sigh that makes you frown.

you’re not sure how many candles or prayers would help javier in this fight but you’d light and say them all.

[feministamalcogida]

suena a que eres solo otra Pinche vieja mal cogida, haste un favor y ya consíguete a alguien que te coja 🙄

A mí todos me cojen mal: terminan ellos y yo no; nunca yo. Termino haciéndome terminar sola ya después.

Siempre nos dicen malcogidas y no se dan cuenta que ellos son los que nos malcogen.

[littlequeenpretty]

Hola ridicula'.

Que .'pensaste que me trague .todo lo que me dijiste,

Que el te amaba . Mucho hay que naca la neta en la secu jajaja ya que eras bien facilota te conoces bien pero eres tan pinche mentirosa eres un caos ar.p

Que te quería

LUCER👆👆👆👆👆

Jajajajajja

ARDIDA AR.p

ni con el que tenias antes tu anterior marido por algo no estas con el por que. le pusiste los cuernos vividora.

Oooooooooo jajjajsjs

Me burlo de ti pendeja por que ni para monita de aparador sirves jajjssj

A que pobre pendeja rica no sirves para el arranque jajjsjj

Haaas voy a buscar a tu esposo y hacerle lo quee tu hacias con el mio todo se paga. Es tu segunda oportunidad para sacarle dinero y ahí si tienes tu minita de oro no manches que aprovechada eres si el supiera toda tu vida te mandaba a volar

Pinche vieja arrastrada te van a sacar los ojos como a los cuervos

Y al rato te hará el mismo tu disque .esposo con otra mujer por que bella no lo eres facilota si