#pillar sielu

[kata-the-bee]

The FIVE PILLARS

Order, Fertility, Prosperity, Soul, Peace

Or you know, just 3 right now because I haven't designed souls and peace yet-

Also, AU name reveal! And Merry Christmas to all of you that celebrate! If you don't, Merry Wednesday!

[symphonicsoul]

Symphony to Silencer || Sinfonia in Wonderland

⋯✧・♪♫♪・✧⋯ Sinfonia was forty-five (45) years old when he landed in Wonderland with Sielu and Sydän. The three of them landed in Wonderland on the second (2nd) day of Misterica's destruction after Sinfonia had a lapse in his own sanity when Usva was killed in action trying to defend Misterica. This caused the musician to rush out into the gale force winds to try to find his fallen prince / liege / nephew even though doing so would have led to his demise had it not been for Sielu and Sydän's quick actions in an attempt to bring him back and save his life.

They managed to find him amongst the rubble and the gales unable to fly and simply trying to survive while clung to a broken piece of one of the sky islands. After taking Sielu's hand, the younger musician lost his own footing and it caused the three of them to tumble back out into the gales and to be blown in the dimensional pillar that had marked Misterica as Chaos' next target. (The black pillar as Mistericans called it)

With no way to fight against the gales, Sinfonia pulled both Sielu and Sydän to his chest as they were thrown into the pillar and into Wonderland in order to protect them. He did so by even breaking their fall onto Wonderland's grounds with his own body. Several of his ribs were broken on impact and he was rendered unconscious for a week's time. It took several rounds of Sydän breathing purple mist directly into Sinfonia's lungs even to get the man to come around, and several more to get him to be able to get out of bed.

It was from there, that their troubles started.

They couldn't speak the language, they didn't understand anything anyone was saying to them, and they had scarce access to food and water. No money to their names, they begged their way into an inn in town, and stayed there until they had to leave due to a dangerous situation outside of their control.

That situation being a Mist Eater by the name of Voltaire. A dragon like man that consumes Mist and works as a bounty hunter within the space of Wonderland's boarders. Upon meeting Sielu and Sinfonia in town one day, Voltaire has been hunting them ever since. The three of them had many hard scrapes and run-ins with the man that lead to countless injuries and close calls.

Five years(5) into their stint in Wonderland, the three of them were separated when they were attacked by a tiger like beast that put Sinfonia in the position of choosing to give up his own life so Sielu and Sydän could survive or damning all three of them. Ultimately, Sinfonia chose to give up his own life in order to save theirs but after the pair of twins had long since fled (much to Sinfonia's begging them to just go) he was saved in the nick of time by a band of passing traders that felled the beast attacking him and saving his life.

Injured, he ended up stuck in a near by town for eight (8) months while he mostly recovered before he started looking for Pilvi, Sielu and Sydän again. Doing so he took on the role of bounty hunting in order to gain the funds to survive and that was when "The Silencer" was born. Refusing to give anyone his name, rumors started to spread that there was a bounty hunter that could "steal your screams away" and they were calling this man "The Silencer" so Sinfonia just went with it.

However this is where I can explain the problems.

Ever since Sinfonia was a small boy he was diagnosed with multiple mental health issues. He manages Bipolar Disorder, severe anxiety, and depression - and this was all before Wonderland. On top of this, Sinfonia has multiple health issues such as impaired hearing (for a Misterican), carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists and an arrhythmia in his heart that can cause tachycardia. He lives with weakness, shaking, chest pain, migraines, chronic pain and fainting spells and this was all managed through his doctors and the use of medication.

He has not had his medication since they landed in Wonderland because when they fell into this world, he only had left what was on his person at the time. That of which, he used up in the matter of a couple months after he lessened his own dosages in order to try to "stretch it out" for as long as he could.

So basically, Sinfonia has been completely unmedicated for about seventeen (17) years, after being medicated for several decades. His mental illnesses are psychotic by nature. Meaning he experiences both severe depression and dangerous mania. His hypomanic states can also be dangerous and he can and has had his own bouts with psychosis.

Ever since he got separated from Sielu and Sydän, he started experiencing hallucinations of his older brother, the King, Helakanpunainen Aurinko. - Sinfonia just calls him Helakan for short- and has been known to have full on conversations with this ghost that follows him around.

Sinfonia is not stable by any stretch of the word but has been unable to find stability without the assistance of proper medication. Even though he has access to medical care now through Cid and the Comodeen; Cid is unfamiliar with Misterican medicine and does not speak the language so he is struggling to figure out what Sinfonia needs.

This means the pain medication being offered to him is more like a temporary patch to a burst pipe than actually helping the damage. Cid is doing his best with what he has but Sinfonia severely needs the assistance of a Misterican doctor and access to purple mist. Access he lost when Sydän passed as she was purple and her mist was healing in nature.

Sinfonia is aggressive, and cut throat when coming to handle most situations within the space of Wonderland after learning how the people here take advantage of kindness. He's had to become more assertive than he ever was back home not only to force people to listen to him but to stand an even playing ground against other people/species that are dramatically larger than him in size.

Even more so, due to his humanoid like nature most people of Wonderland already carry a predispositioned hatred for him mainly based on how he looks. Even if being human is the furthest thing from the truth about him.

Almost all creatures of Wonderland are Soil based souls and some of which can tell that Sinfonia (and the others) are very much not Soil based and they discriminate against them accordingly for it. This has caused Sinfonia's hatred towards Soil Souls to only grow in size. He's been called a slew of different names while living here, everything from fog breath to short horn to four horns to sky mouse and he has a special place in his heart for hatred towards each one.

Sinfonia's life on Misterica was truly that of a want for not situation. Not only was he one of the most famous men within the space of the entire kingdom due to his musical prowess, but he is also royal by blood. The King's Little Brother (cousin) so he was raised within the walls of the palace and almost never left them.

He didn't have to fight for anything and hardly took any form of discrimination from most people and while he did get it from some people, it was few and far between and swiftly dealt with by the people around him. There were societal consequences for disrespecting him and I think that is a heavy thing to remind because none of this exists within the space of Wonderland. If and when someone disrespects him, no one within the space of this world gives a damn and that's just not something Sinfonia was used to.

He went from setting at the very top of the chain of command to the very bottom rung of society simply because of the way he is built and the make up of his soul. Being a Mist based creature has only proved to a disadvantage to him because of this - his hatred for the world around him amplified. His family was put in danger constantly and seeing the multiple times they all nearly died at the hands of a bounty hunter, an angry member of whatever town they were in, or even a Mist Eater - Sinfonia grew colder and more aggressive each passing day.

Sinfonia grew up in a want for not situation but he also grew up during active war time for Misterica. He lost his father to the war with Windaria and he nearly lost his God Father multiple times, and seeing as how Windarians worship the Soil Spiral and have deemed themselves the guardians of it - that is where his hatred for Souls of Soil begins.

The scrapes with death, being hunted by Mist Eaters like prey animals and lack of any and all medical care only made it worse. He was in total isolation for twelve years not knowing if his husband was dead or alive and in that time what was once the Symphony became The Silencer.

[symphonicsoul]

.·:¨༺ ☽ ✩ ◯ ✩ ☾ ༻¨:·. He's following after Aamunkoitto if only to make sure he can keep the man in Sielu's line of sight. Cid is leading Revon and the Dawn is merely following after them. Kain is helping everyone along just as well and between the three of them - he'll get to have his family back and he'll get to have them healthy again.

It's not until they turn through the halls and finally come to a room sat up for multiple patients that Kain starts to guide his Opettaja to have Aamunkoitto lean and lay Valo down and now that he can get a good look at the historian's face he can say he probably needs to. Aamunkoitto gives the small human a half nod replies with a drug out groan and

"How - did - nevermind it's fairly bad currently but improving since Pilvi gave us something to eat."

All the snacks that the small Amestrian had packed into the prince's traveling bag with his own two hands even though the prince had assured him it was unneeded and he was only going to be out for a few hours.

Aamunkoitto is being guided to a chair to set down as Revon is being guided to do the same thing. Once the two are seated, that leaves the White Prince and his passenger. However the way the prince of the Clouds settles himself is a bit different than the rest. The musician's signs do not go unnoticed so the swordsman seats himself on the other bed in the room with the man of the waves still firmly held in his lap.

He's leaning, a gentle kiss placed upon a head of messy cyan as he smiles into it for a moment to take in that smell. Even if it is mixed with dirt and sweat and the sourness of his breath it is still the same. Still the same comforting scent it's always been. Amethyst rubs against Aventurine for a moment as he just shifts the man around a little to make them both more comfortable.

"Never Opettaja. I said you could hold onto me the whole time, so you can stay here in my lap for the whole trip. Will that help? Are you comfortable?"

He doesn't need to wait for an answer for his gaze to be shifting up to his love as he holds the man gently to his chest.

"Rakkani?" He chimes. "Can you get us more water? Opettaja could probably use some more and admittedly I was fighting so I could use a drink. I gave them everything I had."

He's smiling behind his mask, even if blood is still covering the skin beneath it. He's trying to keep himself together for them. To be the pillar they need. The King they deserve. He can't crumble yet.

He needs them all safe and once they're situated in their beds and he has them all taken care of. Then and only then - will he cry.

He can break once everyone is home.

It takes an exhausting amount of effort not to protest being removed from Valo's hold. No amount of reassurance can soothe him quite like being able to hold onto them, to his friends. They aren't dead if they're solid.

They're not fake if they're solid. They're real if he can touch them. Everything is so much better when he can let good, safe smells and sounds drown the horrible things out.

But he needs to let go for now. Part of him wonders if it'll be forever, if he'll fall asleep and then not wake back up. He wonders that every night.

He has almost this whole time, but only twice has he voiced it. Once, loosely, to Valo and once to Revon. Only twice, yet it's one of the thoughts he has the most.

Somehow it's not the most painful. Perhaps that's why he thinks about it so often - his death is much less hard on his emotions than the ones he doesn't allow himself space for and the ones that have not happened yet.

He never considers it a possibility that Valo or Revon or Aamun will die before he does, yet it had just come so close that it had almost been the reality. So close, and he would have been alone again had Pilvi been off by just a few precious seconds. He never could handle blood well anyway, so if this scene had turned into one he'd already seen before in a village nine years ago...

Thank Tiamat it hadn't.

"Up we go," Pilvi says, and he doesn't bother trying to brace himself for the wave of pain that always comes when his position is drastically changed.

He doesn't try to hide it this time, either. There's not a need for it anymore if they're truly safe. A bit of what little color is left leaves his face, which he promptly tucks into Pilvi's shoulder for a moment just to try and muffle some of the coughing.

There's no mildew on the boy's clothes. Petrichor, some blood, a hint of metal - but no mildew like he remembers.

It really had been a trick, hadn't it? All those years ago? All that time spent wondering how and why his Pilvi had abandoned him, but it had been Oscha. Maamuna did not leave him.

He would never do that. Never in a million years.

Maamuna wouldn't leave him in that place. He didn't abandon him. He doesn't think he's a pet.

He doesn't know what he is but he doesn't think he has to be a pet anymore. He doesn't like it. He doesn't want to. He likes 'Opettaja' a lot more. He likes 'Sielu'. He likes 'Laululintu'. He does not like 'pet' or 'darling' or any of those other things and now he can finally start to get rid of them.

Everything hurts except for his heart, but he can handle the pain now. He can lay out his feelings on the table with everyone else's. He can let himself admit how terrified he is of the airship that they're boarding, let his hands grip onto the front of Pilvi's shirt without quite as much shame attached. Valo and Aamun are still close enough to look at. Hopefully it stays that way.

He's not sure how to warn them of the way the engine might send their heads spinning, but maybe this one is different. As they board, he tries his best to find as many differences as he can, to remind himself on a loop that this one is safe, to keep breathing in the smell of petrichor and not pollen. Awful but safe. This is horrible but this is not dangerous. No plants. No pollen. No Herba.

Kain and Cid are not Herba. Sylvia is not littered with flowers and is not stained with his blood. Everything seems much more sterile and industrial - is that the right word?

She's not here. He just needs to keep that in his head as his eyes travel but periodically fall back to Valo as if checking the man is still there and that the small human isn't going to suddenly turn on them.

"Cid, I'm going to follow your lead. I don't know medicine, so just boss me around as you see fit," Kain says. "Aamunkoitto, how bad's the headache? There's a bed about a step or so in front of you, by the way. I swear on my life I'll get your glasses fixed once we're sure everyone's stable. But hey, Chicken's willing to help you out if you'll take it... much as a baby can, anyway. He looks like he loves you guys already."

Oh right. There is a bird... That has to be a good sign. And Pilvi. There is a bird and a puffball and no Herba.

No Herba, yet still... still he can't make himself stop clinging like his life depends on it. Hopefully Pilvi truly doesn't mind, because it seems he's going to be scared whether he thinks it logical or not. He releases the hold only for a moment to make one request.

[ Please do not tie me down. Please. I will not growl again or bite. I promise. ]

[fangirlinsweden]

Just One Kiss - Part 2

Part 2: Cowboy, Take Me Away

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: Swearing, mention of death, accidents, and blood

Word Count: About 5 300 words

Summary: You have been suspended from work and do not know what to do with yourself. Then in just a matter of hours, you find yourself on a plane to Montana to stay with people you have never met before. And as if that is not enough one of the men you are supposed to get to know is handsome enough to make your knees shake.

A/N: I do not know anything about the professions that are detailed in this story. I have googled most things I did not know and therefore there can be some inconsistency.

English is not my first language, so there will be mistakes.

And a big thank you to the amazing @dreamcatchernightsky not only for being a great support and helping me stay motivated. but also for making the amazing dividers for this story!! You are the best!

I also want to give a big thanks to @banditthewriter @kaunis-sielu and @maw000 for their support!

And lastly a big thank you to the incredible Cat for being my beta reader!

Your plan landed, but you did not have a rush to get out of the plane. Part of you wanted to go to the nearest desk when you got out and buy a new plane ticket back to New York City, but you had promised Nat and she had really played on your emotions. Now you were going to spend the next five days at her brother's home without her there. The whole 4-hour flight made you nervous. At least you had a decent lunch on the plane. You had tried reading, watching a movie, even sleeping, since you were at the airport at seven in the morning, to make sure you did not miss your flight, which left at ten. Leaving the plane and walking out in the terminal made you take three deep breaths and then you followed the signs to the baggage claim. You'd ended up taking two suitcases, three if you counted your carry-on. But you wanted to be prepared for whatever Montana had to give, and you did not know how the weather would be. Nat had not agreed on all the clothes you had packed, but it was what you had. She had warned you that even if they seemed durable, they would not be durable enough for ranch life. In your carry-on you had your beloved camera, hoping there would be time to take some pictures. You collected your bags and walked to the arrivals terminal to see if you could find Steve. If you did not find him you knew that you would have to call Nat and get her help. Since you had not even bothered to get Steve’s number. You really should have done that.

You glanced around, trying to see anyone that might be looking for you, but to no avail, so you started your phone and a text from Nat came in.

It was a pic of a smiling man that made you do a double-take. Who was this? Then you saw that it was Steve with a smiley face under the picture. This was Steve?! Wow. You understood what Nat meant when she said he was handsome. He might just have been the most handsome man you had ever seen. It was hard taking your eyes off the photo, but you needed to find this man in real life. So after one more quick glance, you started to look around for Steve. Leaning against a pillar to the left was a man who looked a lot like the photo. He was tall, with broad shoulders, sandy blonde hair, a beard, and a cowboy hat on. To be honest, he looked better than the photo, and that was with a frown on his face. How could anyone be that hot? Once again you took three deep breaths and then you walked over to the man. He stood up straight when you came close. His gaze made it feel like he could read your mind. He felt kind of dangerous. Not like he was going to hurt you, no, just that he could hurt your heart. “Y/N Y/L/N?” he asked and you nodded, having trouble forming any words since the man was more than handsome. He looked like a model and for the first time since you were a teenager you wished that you looked like a model as well. Silly thoughts, but they were still there. “I am Steve.” He gave you a small smile and held out his hand. You shook it and the heat from his hand, as well as the calluses on his hand, made butterflies fly in your stomach. It took every ounce of willpower not to think about having those hands caressing your body. Instead, you looked you in Steve’s face and were met with bluer eyes than you would have thought. “Hey, nice to meet you.” That was all you could come up with saying and Steve took your bags. He offered to take your carry-on as well, but you said you could take it. “The truck is in the parking lot outside.” With that, he lifted your two bags as if they weighed nothing at all, not using the wheels. His steps were longer than yours so you kind of half-ran, following him out from the airport. “Nat said that it is a three-hour drive from the airport to the ranch. I am thankful that you took time out of your busy day to pick me up,” you try to make conversation. Steve looks back at you and gives you a small smile before he walks out through the sliding doors. The sky was clear blue and in the distance, you could see some mountains. You really had left New York City, this was different then what you were used to. It’s an adventure, you think and smile to yourself. Something new and exciting.

Steve walked towards a deep blue truck and walked to the passenger side of the car, opened the door, and held out his hand. You took it and he helped you up. Touching him made things happen in your body and you almost slipped on the metal step, but Steve held you steady. When he was sure that you were inside he closed the door and walked over to the driver's side and placed your bags behind his seat before jumping in. He took off his hat and placed it on the seat between the two of you. All during this time, he was quiet. Not a word. It made you understand that this would be a long drive to the ranch. When he started the truck the radio started and People Are Crazy by Billy Currington was on. It made you smile. It was a favorite that Nat and you usually sang together in the car. It also had pretty accurate wording in it: people are crazy, and you just proved that you were one of them by flying to another state just because a friend asked. You looked over at Steve, and even his profile was handsome. His hair was a bit unkempt, but not bad. Seeing as he was both running a ranch and raising a teenager, it did not surprise you that keeping his hair in top condition was not the main focus. You tried to think of something to talk about while he left the parking lot. “Is this as strange for you as it is for me?” you wondered and Steve looked over at you with a raised brow. “I mean, we don’t know each other and now I am going to help you with organising a cattle drive,” you continued and swallowed hard. “Maybe we should get to know each other better since we are going to be living together for a while.” “Why did you come here?” Steve wondered, keeping his eyes on the road. You shift some in the seat. “Nat convinced me to come.” “She told you I would lock Peter up in a dungeon with just water and bread,” Steve muttered. “No, nothing so extreme,” you tried to laugh, but there was tension in the air. “She just wants to help make things easier for you until she can come on in a few days.” “Mmm,” Steve muttered. “Nat has a soft spot for Peter.” He looked unhappy and almost as he was in pain. “He must be a genius by making that website at his age.” You tried to see the positive in the situation. “I mean to pull something like that off and get people to find the page and be interested in going on a cattle drive.” “He committed fraud by lying to a bunch of people and then gambled away the money on day-trading.” Steve looked at you and his lips were pressed together. “Well, that’s also a way to look at it,” you mumbled and looked out the window. You did not know what you were going to say to Steve, so maybe it was best to not talk. He did not seem that happy to have you there and you did not want to make him regret taking you in. After a few minutes in silence you saw horses to your left. They were grazing and there were foals playing around them. It made you laugh and smile. A big part of your childhood and teen years had been about horses. Caring for your horse as well as competing. Long days in the stable. You missed it a lot.

Steve looked over at Y/N, he both heard and saw her happiness at seeing the horses. Nat had promised him that Y/N could handle a horse and that he would not regret opening up his home for her. Nat had also made it clear that Y/N was family and should be treated as such. But it was hard for Steve, not only because she was a stranger. The moment he had seen her coming against him in the airport he almost swallowed his tongue. She was beautiful with glittering eyes and a smile that felt like sunshine. He had flexed a bit more than necessary by carrying her bags to the truck, but there was something in him that wanted to impress her. When he had helped her into the truck he had gotten a whiff of her perfume and it smelled like a floral fragrance that reminded Steve of a summer meadow. He could not say what flowers it smelled of, just that it was like walking on a meadow with the evening sun on it and the flowers that grew all around. Then his focus had been on how her hand in his felt like it was made to be together. She awoke feelings in him he never thought he would feel. Now seeing her smile and looking at the horses made him want to show her around the ranch. Show her the horses he bred and the foals he had at the moment. During the next hour, Steve snuck glances at Y/N while he drove. She on the other hand seemed mesmerised by the scenery outside the window as they drew closer and closer to the ranch. She seemed relaxed and happy, even though she was in a car with someone she never meet. He was happy that she trusted him, but the though that for most part had to do with Nat, seeing as Y/N was Nat’s best friend. Sometimes he wondered why he had ever meet Y/N before, why Nat had never brought her home, but he also remembered Nat talking about Y/N and said she was a hard worker, who usually worked during the holidays. Steve did not remember much, since it was not the kind of things he put to memory. He regretted that now. What did Y/N do for a living? And what had Nat told him that he had missed? Was she in a relationship? Steve looked ahead on the road and tried to think of other things than Y/N, but it was hard seeing as she kind of light up the whole truck just by being in it. Her scent filled the truck and made it hard to think about anything but her.

You would have thought that sitting in a quiet car would be boring, but with the scenery outside the window and country music on the radio, time flew by. Not to mention the handsome man sitting next to you. Steve might not have been a talker, but man was he hot. There was a bit of a tension in the air, but not the kind that made you feel uneasy. Instead, Steve made you feel at ease. He was Nat’s big brother, well step-brother or ex-step-brother as Nat usually put it. But you knew that he was a caring man. Nat had sometime said he was more likely to talk to his animals than to people. You figured he was just one of those quiet men.

When you had been sitting in the car together for almost an hour you just needed to ask him about the ranch. You had so many questions and Nat had not told you a lot about it. “Nat says you have cows,” you said and looked over at Steve. He raised a brow and nodded. “Do you have a lot?” you asked since he did not say a word. “We have some,” Steve answered. “Like a hundred?” you wondered, thinking about the dairy farm you visited when you were a child. “We have a couple of thousand heads of steers and then we have a couple of hundred of cows that we use for breeding,” Steve answered. “What are steers?” you wondered. “Steers are neutered male cattle that end up on your plate in the end,” Steve said and looks at you. “You aren’t a vegetarian, are you? “I could never live without a steak,” you smiled and Steve chuckled. “But no bulls?” You couldn't help but smile big. “We have about 20 bulls.” “20 bulls for a couple of hundred cows?” you felt your eyebrows rising. “Is that really fair to the cows to have to share bulls? I mean the bulls get a lot of cows.” “Are you going to argue that I would have a bull for every cow?” Steve asked, looking over at you with a sparkle in his eyes. “No, I am not going to do that,” you laughed. “I am just making an observation about cow’s rights.” Steve chuckled at that. “Please tell me you are not a lawyer like Nat.” Steve gave you a glance. “No, I am not a lawyer,” you answered. “And I am not crazy either.” “What are you then?” Steve wondered. When you shrugged your shoulders he chuckled again. “I mean what do you do for a living?” “Oh, I am a nurse,” you answered, realising that he did not ask if you were crazy. “That can come in handy,” Steve commented, and then the conversation kind of died out. You are happy that he did not ask you anything more about your job. What would he think about you being suspended? After ten minutes of silence, you decide to give it another try. “Nat told me that you grew up on the ranch. Did you always want to be a rancher?” “It was expected of me,” Steve shrugged. “We have been on the Rogers Ranch for five generations and it’s always been the oldest that have carried on the tradition.” “But would you have wanted to do something else?” you wondered. Steve was quiet, looking straight ahead on the road, and you thought you had messed it all up. “When I was little I wanted to be a fireman.” Steve looked over at you. “But I love the ranch and the work on it. Even when times have been tough. I would not want to spend my life doing anything else.” Something in his eyes and bodylanguage made you realise he was absolutely truthful. He seemed at ease with what he was doing and happy about his life. “That’s great,” you smiled and the conversation died out again. You did not try and pick it up again. Instead you focused on the scenery outside the window again.

After almost three hours on the road, you drove through a small town. You looked and saw small shops that made you want to stop and explore, but knowing that Steve was a busy man, you did not ask. Instead, you just looked at everything you saw. “This is Weaton,” Steve made a sweeping movement with his right hand. “It's the town that is closest to the ranch. The next town is about forty minutes away and this is the only town nearby that has a doctor.” “It’s amazing,” you beamed when you saw an older couple walk hand in hand. People waved at Steve and he waved back. You saw a bookshop that looked cosy, a café, a hairdressers, a restaurant and a clothing store. Steve drove north out of town and the mountains were all that you could see.

After twenty minutes, Steve turned right and drove into a small graveled road under a big arch that said Rogers Ranch. After going on the road for a couple of minutes you saw a house between the trees. Then all of a sudden the view opened up and you saw a big farmhouse on your left and to your right were a couple of barns. There were rolling hills around you and even though you knew you were about twenty minutes from town you did feel like you were further away from civilization than that. When Nat had said it was a ranch, this was not what you had pictured at all. You thought about the small dairy farm you had visited in California, with a normal-sized house and a big barn for about 100 cows. This house was more the size of a mansion. It was painted white and had a wraparound porch. When you got closer to the house you saw paddocks with horses grazing and another building where a man was saddling up a horse. You figured it must be the stables. But it was not like any stable you had ever seen, it was bigger then any stable you had ever seen. Nat said something about Steve breading horses, but you figured like on horse a year or something like that. This looked to be an even bigger operation than you ever figured. “Welcome to Rogers Ranch,” Steve said and slowed down. “Thank you,” you smiled and looked around. In the distance you could see a lot of cattle, and when you thought about how many Steve had said that they had on the ranch that was not strange. You also saw a couple of horses grazing, some foals running around playing. You could see yourself take a lot of photos around this place. A lot. A door opened in the house and a young man walked out. His hair was out of control and brown. He was tall, but looked a few inches shorter than Steve. You figured it would be Peter. When Steve stopped the car, the young man was on your side of the car and opened the door. “Hey, I am Peter,” he said and held out his hand to help you down from the truck. “Hey, Peter,” you smile and take his hand. “I am Y/N.” He takes a double take when you are on the ground. “Wow, you are...” Peter blushed. “...Gorgeous,” he mumbled. “Nat has told me a lot about you, but she never said you were this… this... beautiful.” Peter blushed more. Steve closed the door on his side hard and walked around the truck with your bags. You laugh. “Thanks.” You winked at Peter. “Don’t you have chores?” Steve almost growled. Peter took a step back and held up his hands. “I have done my regular ones,” Peter said. “But I still have the extra ones left. I just wanted to welcome Y/N to the ranch.” “Well, now you have,” Steve said and started to walk to the house. “Steve,” a man said as he came closer to the house. Steve put your bags on the ground and turned around. The man gave you a quick look and then his focus was on Steve “We need you. Cinnamon has started foaling and something is wrong. Clint is on his way, but he might not be here in time. He had an emergency over at the Watson Ranch.” “I am sorry,” Steve turned to you. “I need to go.” He started to walk away then turned around and said “Peter, show Y/N to her room and then go do your chores.” With those words he followed after the man to the stables. Peter lifted your bags, like they didn’t weigh a thing, just like his brother. “That was Bucky,” Peter nodded in the direction where Steve and Bucky had gone. “He is Steve’s second in command here at the Ranch.” You looked towards the stables and see the two men go inside. Steve was as good looking from behind as he was from any other angle. Not that you had not noticed that when you followed him in the airport. You just kind of hoped that that would have changed in the last hours. And Bucky looked like someone you had met before, but you could not place him. It was just something about him. “Come on,” Peter said and walked towards the house. “Let me show you where you will be staying.” “Peter, how big is the ranch?” you wondered and Peter stopped at the porch. “It is about 20 thousand acres,” Peter said and opened the door for you to go inside. “That’s

amazing,” you said and when you walk into the house you kind of stop a bit inside. The inside was not what you had figured from the outside. It was a large foyer that opened into a big living room to the left and to the right into a big kitchen. Both of those rooms were big enough to host a lot of people. Nothing looked new, and a fresh layer of paint would not have been wasted, but everything looked homey and cosy. The furniture was in dark wood and the sofa was a dark blue that looked comfortable enough to sleep in. “So how was your drive?” Peter wondered as he stopped in the foyer to take of his shoes. You followed his lead and took of your shoes and placed them on the shoe rack. “It was fine,” you said and peeked into the kitchen. “I take it Steve did not talk?” Peter smirked. You just looked at him, not sure what to say. “Steve is not very talkative, at least not to people he doesn't know.” “We did okay,” you answered when Peter started to walk again. There were also several rooms down the foyer, but Peter walked towards the stairs. Even though you wanted to explore you followed him. You told yourself that you could look around later, but so far the house was fantastic. “Did okay,” Peter scoffed. “Let me guess, he said three words the entire way. I don’t know if he is shy or if he just doesn’t like to talk.” That made you laugh. “Actually we talked about the ranch,” you said and smiled. Peter’s eyes widened. “Wow, Steve must really like you,” Peter said. “People he don’t know usually get more than a few words out of him. And here you were talking about the ranch.” “Yes, made him fall head over heels in love with me, so he just could not shut up,” you sassed and Peter started to laugh. “Did you not see how hard it was for him to leave me earlier?” Peter continued to laugh. “We talked for maybe twenty thirty minutes,” you continued. “And it was spread out during the entire drive.” Peter nodded and started up the stairs. You followed and were impressed by the stairs. They looked sturdy and at the same time ornamental, with carved branches holding up the railing. You had to touch it and the wood felt like silk. Then you turned your eyes to the stairway wall and it was filled with photos, both old black and white ones, which you figured were some of the older generations from the ranch, but also pictures of children, that you figured were Steve and Peter when they were little. You also saw pictures of Steve and Peter closer to the age they were now and a couple of pictures of Nat, alone or with the boys. One looked to be of Nat’s High School graduation. You wanted to look closer at all the pictures, but Peter was waiting for you on the top of the landing looking down at you so you hurried up your steps. You would have to come back to the photos later. The landing led both left and right, Peter went right and opened a door at the end of the hall. “This will be your room during your stay or at least until the cattle drive,” Peter said. “You might have to share a room with Nat later, depending on how many of the people that have booked come. Nat’s room is beside yours and she said that you could go inside and take whatever flannel shirts you wanted from her closet.” “That’s fine,” you said and saw the sad look at Peter’s face. “Hey," you said and placed a hand on his arm. “I am fine with sharing a room with Nat. You know we share an apartment.” Peter nodded and gave you a small smile. He made a gesture for you to walk into the room so you did. He walked in behind you and placed your bags by the end of the king-size bed. The walls were painted in a light blue color and the bed had a dark blue bedspread. There was a dark grey sofa and an old chest in the room as well. On the opposite side of the bed was a big painting of the mountains. Other than that, the room was pretty sparsely decorated. “That door,” Peter said and pointed, “is a bathroom and the other doors are closets.” “This will be great,” you looked around and smiled. “Thank you, Peter.” “Do you want to see Nat's and then my room?” Peter asked. “Of course,” you

answered and together you walked next door to Nat's room. It was painted in a soft lavender color and there was a big king-size bed with a white bedspread. There were a lot of pictures on the walls and a desk by the window. Peter pointed at the door to the bathroom and then Peter led you back to a room just off the stairs. His room was messy with a king-size bed that was not made. Clothes on the floor and lots of books on a shelf. He had a massive desk that had two computers and a lot of electrical parts, that he said were for computers and this and that. Peter was almost giddy like a small child on Christmas when he showed you his computers and what he was working on. You were impressed when he showed a 3d blueprint of what looked like a robot. “It’s a robot that could guard the horses in the stable when it’s time for foalings so that Steve or Bucky won’t have to sleep in the stable,” Peter beamed. “They have cameras, but Steve does not completely trust them.” “That is impressive,” you said and put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. He did a couple of keystrokes and pulled up a screen full of code. “I am also working on a database for Steve for his breeding,” Peter said. “It’s a present for his birthday.” “That sounds like a great idea and I think he will love it,” you said and Peter beamed. Then he looked at the clock and groaned. He pressed a couple of keys and closed down the computer “I need to go and do my chores,” Peter stood up and you walked out in the hallway. “Feel free to explore the house. The door over there is Steve’s room.” Peter pointed at a door to the left of the landing. “He does not like it if people are in there, but other than that, you can go wherever you want. Oh, and maybe stay out of Steve’s office downstairs as well. There is a whole mess of papers and things in there.” You thanked Peter and watched him walk down the stairs and out of the house. Not knowing where to go first you walked down the stairs looking at all the photos. You saw a picture of a young Nat standing next to a middle aged woman, you figured it would be Nat and her mother, Melina. A picture of a edding that looked to be Steve to the right holding a really young Peter in his arms, their father and then Nat's mother Melina and Nat to the left. They all looked happy. Then there were baby pictures that showed Steve, Nat and Peter. Graduation photos of Steve, both high school and university. The same for Nat. As well as Nat in a prom dress. A picture of a woman holding a baby in her arms. You figured it had to be Steve's mother. There were a lot more pictures of the family and older generations. One looked like it was a generation photo. There was an old man sitting on the porch of the house. In his lap, he had a baby. Beside him was a bit younger man holding his arms around the shoulders of a middle-aged man. It must be a four-generation photo. From the clothes, you figured that the baby was Steve and that it was his father, his grandfather, and his great-grandfather in the picture. You remember Steve telling you in the car that the ranch had been in his family for generations. After looking at the pictures for five minutes you thought about taking a shower but decided to explore the house and then shower that evening instead.

You walked down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. It was big and roomy with a kitchen island. There was a bowl of fruit and a vase of flowers. Something that surprised you some; as far as you knew it was only Steve and Peter living in the house. But so far the house had not been anything you had expected, so why not flowers in the kitchen. The kitchen was also clean and looked nice. It itched some in your fingers to cook something, but you reminded yourself that you were a guest and it was not dinner time yet. You peeked inside the fridge and then the pantry. Both were well-stocked with all that could be needed. Maybe you could cook for the boys sometime this week. But you did not know what the plans were for dinner today or at what time the guys usually ate. You would have to ask Peter later. After looking at the living room and peeking inside what you figured was Steve’s office you hit the jackpot. There was a library in the house. It was big and there were lots of books, both classics, like Jane Austin, Mark Twain, and Edgar Allan Poe, as well as newer novels like James Patterson, Dan Brown, Ursula K Le Guin, and Suzanne Collins. You saw books like To Kill a Mockingbird, Death on the Nile, and Catch 22. There was also an entire shelf of books that had to do with cattle, horses, and farming. You walked around in awe looking at all the books. Then you looked at the clock. You would have loved to go out and see the ranch, but at the same time, you felt kind of tired and did not want to disturb Steve or Peter by walking around the ranch alone. But you wondered when Steve would come back. It was something about him that drew you closer. You wanted to get to know him. You wanted to be close to him. Steve was someone that you felt you could trust and that was something you never felt for a man before. Not to mention that you just met him today. Maybe you should just read a bit. You picked a book and got comfortable in an armchair infront of the fireplace.

Everything tag list:

@buckysmischief

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[kata-the-bee]

Sielu, God of Souls

Our red crown bird has arrived to join the family, alongside Perun, Renen, and the cuttlefish one that still has no name! One day-

And nobody caught that I name revealed in my last post 😁🤣

[kata-the-bee]

A Red Crown?

[kata-the-bee]

Don't worry gang, I got something in the works for you all. Just taking a bit longer than anticipated due to mental block.

Hope everyone is having a good day and had a happy and safe set of holidays!

💗💗💗💗💗

[symphonicsoul]

I also got this for you so you can see the entire cast of surviving Mistericans.

This is every Misterican that survived the fall and there is a reason for it. The Fall lasted 3 days.

Aamunkoitto and Valo were the first to "disappear" into the darkness. They were swept up into the gales and blown into the pillar landing them effectively in Wonderland on Day 1.

Revon went looking for them after he lost his hold on Pilvi (Kumo). He got blown into the pillar while he was out looking for the prince on Day 2.

When Usva was killed on Day 2, Sinfonia's gem of commitment to him snapped causing the man to fall into a blind panic. Sielu and Sydän chased after him hoping to pull him back to where everyone was taking refuge in the mountains. Gales swept them all up instead, as soon as they reached him, so Sinfonia pulled them to him and used his body to shield them when they all fell into Wonderland.

Pilvi was left without his guard or half of his soul binds to deal with the Last Day of the fall alone.

[symphonicsoul]

Revon, what's one thing that brings you joy?

"I - I feel a bit selfish to speak of myself when it's My Liege that matters, but I can tell you a few things. Life has been difficult since Misterica ... since the Dark Gales and it took much effort on my part to keep Valo alive and Aamunkoitto sane. Sielu came to us many many years later but finding him again brought a happiness to my heart I cannot begin to describe. I hadn't seen anyone else from our home in nearly two decades and I was positive we never would. So I would simply continue to function as a pillar of strength and a beacon of hope for Valo and Aamunkoitto in this time of crisis.

It is my duty to them not only as an officer within the space of the Royal Knights but also as their Prime to continue to care and guide them. Sielu is no different. I am his Prime as well and it is my job to make sure they are all kept safe.

But I failed. That beast in the forest attacked us when we were weak and sour. We were all long past acceptable rates of sugar loss and running on fumes at that point but I tried to fight. I tried to defend them any way. I was ready to give my life to save them. I was ready to fade in order to stop that monster from taking their lives - I failed.

Valo collapsed, Aamunkoitto fell into a panic and Sielu's stubbornness flared in ways it hadn't in what I can only assume had been years. The beast would not stop however and I was gravely injured. Sielu said in that moment, either we all died or Tiamat herself came to strike the beast down and like a thunder crack Pilvi dropped from the skies without warning taking that beast down with expert swordsmanship like I have never seen in my life.

He was here. Our Liege found us. Tiamat herself guided him back to us and he dropped from the heavens like a Celestial Angel to spare our lives. How can I be any happier with that? We're alive. We still draw breath. After everything this hell has thrown at us, we're still here.

I can't be any happier with the fact that I can still hold them all in my arms. I can see them and hear them and hold them every day and I can't ask for more than that. The Prince I raised has become the King he was always meant to be and I have got to see him stand in all his glory. I can't ask for more than that. It'd be selfish."

[symphonicsoul]

A Knight's Thoughts || Accepting

expressionbean asked:

for revon 💭 + sinfonia

·:¨༺ ✩★✩ ༻¨:·. "He's complicated. It's sad to watch him shift back and forth between personas like he doesn't know what is correct and what is acceptable. He tried - so hard to distance himself from My Liege to the point that he hurt himself in the process and then he got himself hurt when he crossed several lines I hear and Sielu broke his nose.

I wasn't there for the incident but I certainly saw him afterwards because Pilvi sent me to check on him. Pilvi was extremely upset. No one could explain it in a way that the boy understood so he was quite mad. Sinfonia was a mess, and could hardly have any sort of contact with anyone outside of his Mother, His Majesty or Kenaarli Taivas.

I left the Makea Meloni I was sent with by My Liege and left him to rest.

Sinfonia changed over the years. When Pilvi was an infant he was extremely involved. He would watch over both the boys for His and Her Majesties often. He would interact with both the boys any chance he got and once Usva turned 7, he bound. We had about two years of peace until Pilvi turned 5 and Pilvi bound to his current instructors.

After that, everything changed. It all went grounded in a dropping spiral. Sinfonia became cold and he pushed Pilvi away. He got cruel and he said rude things to the boy's face and my own. He got in the faces of Pilvi's binds and he did everything he could to push anyone and everyone away.

I tried to speak to him several times but we always ended conversations on how positively sure he was that when the day of the ritual would come that Pilvi would die. He was certain of it, so he was trying to be as cruel as possible.... he was going cold to My Liege just like Aurinko was and I can't say I approve of the way that the brothers decided to handle the situation.

Two of the most important people in Pilvi's life and they decided to try to shield themselves because they couldn't bear the weight. They are the reason I taught Pilvi to love in the moment because we never knew when life was going to ask someone to fade and that I would love him as long as I could hold him in my arms. They taught that boy loss before he was even a teenager and I can't say I'm much too pleased about it.

Things... with Sinfonia... improved when it was much too late. No one knew the darkness was coming and no one knew that the pillar was going to consume us all whole. Pilvi was just starting to have a relationship with the man again before life decided otherwise. He was finally starting to have some kind of functional relationship with Sinfonia and Aurinko alike when ... calamity happened.

And while I respect both of them. While I understand what they were trying to do.... they should have held him in their arms instead of shoving him away. They paid the ultimate price for that.... and now Pilvi is still paying it to this day. I wish - I just wish he hadn't been so afraid.

Sinfonia and I used to be such friends before he bound. Before he dedicated his life to Usva and before he let the fear take over. He suffered alone and it was all needlessly. I - feel for him at that. I just hope that when his Mist returned to the heavens... he was able to find peace. "

[symphonicsoul]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ It's hard not to recoil at his words. It's hard not to pull his hand away. It's hard not to drop his shoulders. It's hard not to let his eyes fill up with the shame he keeps buried deep within his belly so no one will ever find the hurt.

Aqua says it hurts and that's all it is. He says it's the same every day and nothing can fix it. He says it doesn't mean it's gone away just because he's quiet about it and he understands that. He knows the nightmares never end. The voices. The touches. The pain.

It's always there. It doesn't leave, and maybe apologies will never be enough. Maybe the bond really did break without their gems ever shattering after all. Maybe he lost his best friend for real all those years ago. Maybe his begging would never save him after all. Maybe it was already too late.

His hand pulls back from the other man's knee at his words. He wants to cry but he buries every tear deep within the core of his chest. It's not the time. It's Aqua's time now and he needs to respect that but even if he wants to be a pillar for his family. His best friend. His bind.

Sielu continues to refuse to allow him to do so. He can't make him and he won't. He won't tell him how to feel. He won't tell him what to do with his emotions. He won't boss him around and tell him how he should process things or how to heal the damage that's been inflicted on his spirit. It's not his place. It's never his place.

They're bound by soul and he can feel that ache that is not his forcing it's way through his ribs like a sharp spike threatening to pierce his lungs any second now. Another's soul is such a heavy weight to carry, but he will carry them all if it only means they remain alive and with him so he doesn't have to be alone anymore.

' You're such a selfish creature Little Cloud. Possibly the most arrogant I know. How wicked can you be? You fooled this man into loving you only to withhold your affection. You're such a nasty little beast. '

And somehow he can't argue with the statement. It's true after all. He is selfish. Selfish enough to want his binds to remain at his side above all else. Selfish enough to want to cure their pain by any means necessary but is he doing it for them or is he doing it to stop the ache in his chest? It is really because he cares for them or because he can't stand the sensation of wedge pain so terrible that he fears one day it may split him in two?

Aqua's depression is intense. Depression, loneliness, jealous, rage, fear, anguish, doubt. All the things that Chaos thrives on and adores to feed on and he fears that his sweet Opettaja has been driven into such a hole of despair that he might not be able to drive deep enough to pull him out of it.

Not when he was such a large cause of the man's descent in the first place. A betrayal he never caused but yet was still perpetrated with his face so that makes him the villain all the same - does it not? He never plunged the dagger but he feels the blood on his hands nonetheless. He still feels responsible for the damage.

His own hands fold neatly in his lap as fingers twist against white sleeves that are much too long. His eyes down cast to his lap and he realizes in this moment he has two choices. Retreat inside himself out of fear or damaging anything more than he already has or take the first step forward. If the King does not move then how can he dare to expect the same of his people?

He is their example. Their guide post in the darkness and if he doesn't move then -

"Be quiet and obey."

The words practically tremble from his lips as his fingers twist into the fabric that covers them and he finds himself chewing on his bottom lip for a moment as he tries to drum up the courage to speak again.

"He said that to me for years. Years he told me I wasn't to speak unless I was spoken to and even then, never the others. I wasn't to speak to anyone in the castle His Excellency didn't deem fit. Be quiet and obey. I knew where to put my feet. I knew when to drop my head. I knew every move I had to make to avoid.... punishment. I knew and I obeyed. But I - "

His hands are digging into the fabric covering his lap as tears start to well up in his eyes.

"- don't want to anymore. I - I am not an object. I am not - his toy. I - I am the King and I - I do not drop my horns to anyone but my own people. I don't want to be quiet anymore. It - it has only caused the storm inside of me to grow more violent with every passing year. So - so - so if that means I'm not good anymore because I'm not quiet - then so be it. Rakastan sinua, vaikka et olisi hyvä."

(I love you, even if you're not good.)

He hates the way his body reacts for him, jolting at even the slightest touches as he's lifted and placed into the loft. His weight shifts on its own so that he's sitting with his knees folded under and his arms in his lap. Polite. Small. Good.

His liege says to come anytime and that space will be made for him, as if nothing has changed between them. As if there is a margin of error in how he's allowed to carry himself.

When he flinches at the touch to his knee, he finally gives in to the urge to drop his head and shoulders forward. Even if he'll be scolded for it, his muscles still prefer this. It's the only way he can even try to stay calm while the pressure builds on his back and spreads across tired, once-broad shoulders.

Pilvi asks if there's something else, in a tone that feels almost familiar. He invites the storm, but still it won't come. Still he keeps the floodwaters mostly at bay, only allowing a thin trickle.

How is he supposed to explain this agony?

How is he going to explain it to someone who he's supposed to hold himself together for? He's supposed to be a pillar and a rock for this boy, yet he's no sturdier than sand. Wet sand, on a good day, but today is not good. There's no foundation for the tower today, so it functions more like a haphazard pile of loose grains if anything.

His name keeps beckoning him. He's not supposed to name anyone back. It feels like some forbidden activity he isn't supposed to partake in, yet he can't say that either.

It's not even worth the risk, but Pilvi wants him to speak.

How does he tell that boy that he hates the sound of his own voice? That he wishes it were gone, that he wishes he could just be silent, that he wishes his screams in the forest could have ripped it out one final time to make it better for everyone?

Out of everything about himself that he hates, there's nothing he hates more than his voice.

He shifts the dragon to hold her closer to his chest as he backs up further, all the way to the foot of the bed. He can't help but to notice it's softer than his own and that there are more blankets and that there is no lack of good smells.

It must be nice to have a space that feels comfortable. It must be nice to share it with the small human.

He's starting to forget how he used to fit in his own bond's arms every night. What it's like to be able to speak without overthinking every word has long since slipped through his fingers as well, leaving only the fear of worst-case scenarios and what-ifs.

His very existence feels meaningless without the two people he had no questions about and who made him feel whole, yet somehow it seems like saying as much will warrant a lecture of how he's supposed to think of them or how he should be grateful to even have a bed or how he's a selfish, horrible failure for being lonely when everyone else doesn't have to look much farther than a few inches away for their person.

He's so sick of people telling him how to feel. It's been nearly eleven years of it, from some person or another. He really isn't in the mood but Pilvi wants him to say something.

"Telling anyone won't fix anything," he forces himself to say. The words don't come easily. He's surprised they come out at all.

"It... hurts. That's all it is. The same thing as every day. Nothing can fix it but it... it... doesn't mean it's all gone away just because I am quiet about it. I just know better than to admit anything. I just know how to be good and that means being quiet."

[symphonicsoul]

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ─── Cold blue eyes narrow on them both only for his hand to draw back finally as the knight sounds in a firm tone.

"Come, My Liege." With a single arm extending outwards, small hands release brown fabric so the body of white can float up to the Aurorean without question. He's settling himself down in that arm, and shifting himself to curl in close to the body of the northern lights.

"So that settles. Aqua Sielu will be present for today's discussion and whatever you need to discuss with our Liege, you can discuss with us both. "

"Tulet, don't you think you're - "

"- Eversti Tulet. If I am to continue addressing you with rank and respect, you can do the same. You are the pinnacle of our religion, Piispa. It would become you to show a proper example for My Liege."

And it's easy to see how the eldest of them all is resisting the urge to snarl. Blue eyes as cold as ice can only glare at them both even if the rest of his face isn't matching the emotion.

There isn't a winning hand for this battle. The prince's binds are being as insufferable as ever and now he has to deal with two of them. Tulet is in a mood and that means there's no way he can make him stand in the hall while he drags the prince deeper into the church and away from his precious guard.

It's fine, he can sway them. He can sway them the same way he sways Aurinko. Surely they must understand the importance of the boy's role when it comes to the better of Misterica.

"Very well then." The Piipsa starts. "Let us be on our way then."

It's a short flight back to the Church where the insides of the building are mixed with white and silver crystal. Truly a place befitting that of the Gods. A high vaulted ceiling and crystal pillars running up the sides of the room. A gem of the kingdom if there ever was one.

The knight's hands firm on the boy as they move through the building until they stop just before the doorway where he is normally asked to stand and wait but a narrowing of ruby pinks tells the silver man that no such thing will be happening today. He will remain with his Liege the entire time, even more so with the way the boy is clinging to his chest.

So they continue past the other members busy working away and the boy raises his hand to wave at a girl of the lightest purple as they continue forward. She raises her head and waves back as they pass.

It's not until they get to back of the church where the elder's office resides do they finally stop, making their way inside where there is only two chairs just before a desk and a very expansive library that lines either wall.

The Piipsa makes himself comfortable behind his desk and weaves his fingers together as his elbows from to press down against the wood as he leans forward.

"Now then, now that we're all here, let us begin - shall we?"

The hairs on the back of his neck are bristling, standing on end more and more as this man continues to press and pry at Pilvi.

He doesn't appreciate the way Sumu implies that his boy would ever be bothering him and he especially loathes how adamant this man seems about getting Pilvi alone.

If it were really just a lesson, there wouldn't be a problem with his presence. His arm tenses, a silent command for Pilvi to stay close to him as the venom continues to drip.

Unsurprisingly, the poison is not Revon's.

"Joo, firmly," he replies, attempting to make himself seem innocent and completely unaware of just how dangerous the territory he's entering is. He's more than happy to play the concerned fool. "I assure you it would be no bother for me to come along, Piipsa. He'll likely focus on what you're teaching him a lot better if he is calm, speaking from experience as a teacher... I give you my word I'll not be a distraction, and His Highness is correct in that I do not lie. I only want to help."

He purposefully doesn't specify who he's helping.

[symphonicsoul]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ Opettaja cannot begin to understand the level of horror his mind plays for him. Their situations might be similar but at the very least, he can thank the gods that Opettaja doesn't know what it feels like to die.

Part of him wonders if the next time he dies in his dreams, will he die in reality as well? It would be much more peaceful to go such a way he supposed but then it would be to the horror of whoever is sleeping next to him that night when he fades out in their arms.

When he finally does go...will he get the luxury of fading as a proper Misterican should? He doesn't normally get anything that a proper Misterican does but that's probably because he's not a proper Misterican.

There's nothing about him that could be considered as such and he feels like such a child to be told to breathe into his blankets or his sword dragon but yet he's still pulling the long plush beast into his arms and burying his face into it anyway.

There are long deliberate breaths taken as he closes his eyes. He can see it all again as soon as he does so jade moons are flying open as the swordsman finds himself pushing himself upright with his back flat to the wall. There is a ghost that exists within paled skin as Mist is panted out from parted lips once more.

He is not there.

He is not there and they are not there. They are in his room and Chaos cannot find them here.

But he really wishes the other knew just how rotten he actually was. He really wishes that when they looked at him they could see the blood that now stained their precious prince... He's not as holy as he used to be.

"It was - " he can't admit to weakness that's not what they want from him. Sielu has seen hell and he needs a pillar. He needs an anchor that is going to keep his standing when he can't do so on his own.

"- wasn't a nightmare. Just startled. I just got a little jumpy is all. I'll be fine."

For a moment, an excruciating moment, his mind and heart both tell him that he is too disgusting to hug. Quickly does he realize, though, that if he were too awful and tainted then he wouldn't be in the nest at all in the first place.

Pilvi is only doing exactly the same thing that he does by curling in on himself towards the wall. He is making himself small just for convenience, just for his teacher's sake - but it seems as though Pilvi has forgotten that an Oath of Service had been sworn to him. It seems as though Pilvi thinks himself a burden despite him being the top priority by choice and it makes him wonder for a moment what horrors have been deemed unspeakable. It makes him wonder just how similar their situations were.

He figures now is not the time to ask such a question. His arms drop back to his side as he offers a slight shake of his head.

"Maamuna, I promise it's alright. I would rather be woken. Nightmares are... hard to recover from on your own, to say the least, and I want to help you. You're worth it to me. Rakastan sinua. What would help right now? You've got... let's see. You've got your sword dragon. And one of the sharing blankets. Why don't you breathe into those for a moment, and then we can lay down again when you're a bit more present? You can tell me whatever it is... or keep it to yourself if it's not something you can talk about right now."