#pierdolenie i użalanie się nad sobą

[mikoo00]

Lol były dymy XD

Gadałem dwa pytanie grupie odnośnie energetyków przedstawiłem swoją opinię swoje doświadczenie ale to po to by usłyszeć ich doświadczeń i wyciągnąć wnioski a to co ja uważam żeby wiedzieli dlaczego złamałem kontrakt

Powiedziałem że się spytałem przyjaciół z aa

A ona ze mam tak nie robić tylko na terapi Jakby???

Oczywiście mowili ze dla nich to samo co 0% nie zgadzam się żeby też zmieniały świadomość bardziej niż nikotyna Zgadzam się ze powinienem nie pić żeby sobie nie generować emocji i ze względów zdrowotnych i powiedziałem że będę się starał je rzucić w tym kontekście że będę szukał zamienników w postaci nwm koli czy coś a nie ze mi się zdaży i chuj

Ona się tak odpaliła uważała ze nie chce zmienić swojego myślenia i przestać bla bla bla że nie trzeźwieje i ze mnie wyjebie Z terapi jeszcze się skontaktuje z kimś z góry W pon mi ma powiedzieć co dalej Lol

Grupa się za mnie wstawiła 🥺

Ona zaczęła mi wmawiać durnoty jakieś

Nie sadze ze bede mógł uczęszczac na terapie

Ale kto mi zabroni ich odwiedzać? 😈

Mam nadzieję że mając roczny staż dopuszcza mnie najwyżej na terapie leżenia zaburzeń psychicznych bo na podwójnych diagnoz nigdy nie pójdę straciłbym wszystko nad czym pracowalem

I tak utrzymywałem trzeźwość dzięki aa oraz od nich się uczylem

A i jeszcze jak mi nerwy puściłem i się rozryczałam to ona

,, no najlepiej jest się rozpłakać i się użalać nad soba"

💀

Pojebalo cie do reszty? Ty możesz wyrażać złość i oceniać pacjentów ale ja nie mogę się rozpłakać bo czuje smutek

Płacz jest jednym z najzdrowszych sposobów rozladowywania emocji i przez takie pierdolenie od lat albo mam derealizacje albo mam wkurw i się samookaleczam,, Bo wstyd płakać bo to użalanie się nad sobą"

Słyszałem nawet od terapeutek że nie raz lepiej nie podawać chusteczki płaczącemu pacjentowi bo on sobie pomyśli że to wstyd płakać i zacznie wypierać swoje emocje

Żaden terapeutą nie ma prawa skrytykować kogoś za płacz

Jestem za inteligentny na nią

[el-mroko]

My girlfriend has a dog. Tequila. I have a dog. Freja. I have a cat. Loki. I also have rats. Was three of them, now, with agreement with my girlfriend we adopted two more. I love them and treat them equally. She loves them equally too I’m sure.

We treat them as OURS pets. Not hers and mine, ours.

I adore her empathy and love and caring for furry friends. That’s how we met.

But lately things got nasty. 

For some time now I feel like I’m the only one thinking about their well-being, taking care of them, feeding them (rats, cause my mom feeds the dogs at ungodly morning hours), cleaning after them or cleaning rat’s cage, or lately evening going for a walk.

She does that, or helps me sometimes, but only when I ask about it (often a few times before she finally does that). It’s like, she’s tired, she’s sleep deprived, she’s sick, not feeling well. Or we can do it some other time, we can do it later, there are more important things... I usually say fine if it comes to her health or fatigue, I understand she feels tired or hurt, and I do cleaning alone. Because it was mostly about cleaning rat’s cage.

But we both go to work.

I work for 7-8 hours a day. On different shifts. Sometimes it’s whole week on 8 or 12 or 14, sometimes it’s 14pm today and 8am tomorrow.

Her work is worse. 8 to 12 hours a day, night shifts, morning shifts, depends.

We live together, in my mom’s house. We both get to work by train and tram which takes us two-three hours per day. My workplace is one tram stop farther than hers. Frequently we wait for each other to return home together. She comes to my work and waits an hour or I’m doing overtime waiting for her. I love journeys with her, even if it comes to usual ride home.

Last week was hard on us. We’re having quite a serious renovation moving to a different room. Changing floors, painting walls, all that. We’re doing it ourselves as my family always did those things and was good at it. It wasn’t precisely planned. Nobody knew when would we start. It happened my younger bro is on a leave and I decided to take two days off - Monday and Tuesday - so we could do more things.

Kas, my gf, couldn’t take a leave, so she helped us after work as much as she could. She had free Tuesday. Unfortunately she had morning shift this whole week, meaning she had to get up at 4am to get to work on 6am, usually to 14.30 or 15.30 so she returned around 16-17. It’s exhausting, I imagine. Additionally, she doesn’t like her work. Doesn’t like people there - not everyone, obviously, but sometimes it’s hard on her.

I try to give her a lift to our train station - it’s around 10-15 minutes walk from home - or pick her up when she’s back. I admit, I tend to fuse about her waking me up this early, but I always get up and start a car, wish her good day and kiss her goodbye. Dammit, everyone would complain a bit. I always tell her to wake me anyway, I’ll just grizzle my part, but always take her to the fucking station. She wakes me only sometimes. This week she woke me up only yesterday.

I’m no sure it was because she doesn’t like bothering me, or because I was ill. I got sick leave from Wednesday because of my laringitis. I felt like shit this whole week, but I tried to do as much as I could, to help my bros and my mom.

Despite being sick, having a fever and sore throat, I spent whole days accommodating our room, arranging books and clothes and other stuff. I also tried to take care of our new rats - I tried to introduce them to my pack so they wouldn’t be bullied. I wanted to give them space and provide them all with runs. I also wanted to take our dogs out but I just wasn’t able to.  Kas was working at work, I was working at home.

When she got back on Wednesday - she ate dinner, opened a beer, and went to sleep, which was fully understandable cause she slept only five hours day before. We’re cuddling, but soon I knew I have rats to take care of, and another room to make up - the one we occupied till now, with total mess and two separate rat cages (they weren’t yet introduced, hence more cleaning...). When she finally woke up, I just said she promised to help me, and promised to hang my bookshelf.

The atmosphere was tense.

When she got back on Thursday, she hung my shelf so I could busy myself with arranging books and adding final touches to our room. Then she started relaxing after work. Again, I was the one taking care of rats.

She always calls to pick her up. Which I do, day by day, everyday. Except yesterday, when I wanted to take our two dogs for a walk, because they’ve been home for a WHOLE WEEK, since SATURDAY to yesterday WITHOUT a SINGLE walk past a FENCE. Only running on our yard (it’s quite big), couple times a day (I took them once, on Tuesday, when Kas was home, for a run in fields behind my home).

I called her, having both dogs on a leash, that I’ll come on foot with girls to get her. I met with such a NO response I was in shock. She wants a ride because she’s tired. Dogs can wait.

An hour.

A day.

Next week.

I said no. I took them for a walk but didn’t get to the station. I figured they deserved better than 15 minutes after a whole week in a closet.

What I heard after I entered home hurt my deepest feelings. It was a low blow I was not expecting from her, ever.

She said I cared more about dogs and rats than her.

Till now I try to understand how and why she said that. How could she say it about her own dog. How could she say it about our pets, pets, that are dependent on us, totally. 

Pets I try to fill only minimal needs, because she DOES NOT DO THAT.

The little one, the young rat was adopted ill. He required nebulization and injections. I cared about it. Then, he was bitten quite bad, I cared for that too. She didn’t even ask how’s he.

I bought our dogs a toothpaste, cause Tequila has much worse plaque than ever. And I’m the one using it, remembering and thinking about using it.

It does not matter if I’m on a leave, sick leave, or if I go to work. It doesn’t matter if I get back at 16, at 21 or 23. I take care of all those things, or at least I try, because almost each time I get back home and ask if anything was done, the answer it  “no”.

I make her coffee, tea, breakfast if we get up together, we do both or I’m the one making it. Dinner is up to my mom or myself, supper or lunch or any meal, it’s always me. I’m the one serving sandwiches.I’m the one packing dinner to work. I’m the one making dinner FUCKING VEGGIES for work. I’m here to rub her back, to give her a massage, find something she can’t, translate thing she does not understand, make her a cocoa while she plays a game, clean a room so she can play a ps4 without a dust on a console.

When it comes to dirty work - I’m always there.

But I care more about dogs and rats than her.

[a-jaki-jest-twoj-sekret]

#22996

Wszystkie te sekrety o samobójstwach to takie pierdolenie o szopenie, 90% z was tylko użala się nad sobą jak dziecko, które ma za mało atencji w domu albo w szkole przez co Ci, którzy myślą bardziej prawdziwie w ten sposób są mało zauważani. Ale i jedni i drudzy są jebnięci. Jak można tylko siedzieć na dupie, nie robić nic i dziwić się, że nic nie wychodzi i potem jeszcze być obrażonym na pół świata, bo nie stało się tak jak chcieliście i narzekać wszystkim dookoła jak to macie źle, bo przytyliście 1kg albo jak to jest źle bo rzucił was chłopak/dziewczyna. NIC NIGDY nie będzie tak jak chcieliście jeśli sami tego nie zrobicie. To jest żałosne i samolubne, myślenie o śmierci i użalanie się nad sobą. Pokazuje tylko jak bardzo macie gdzieś często poważniejsze problemy innych, pokazuje waszą słabość o tchórzostwo, niechęć do pomagania innym na podstawie własnych doświadczeń. A szkoda. Bo to właśnie wy, moglibyście uratować tysiące ludzi przed prawdziwą tragedią. Proszę was, weźcie się w garść i przestańcie zachowywać się jak dzieci roztrzęsione na cukierki i zacznijcie zachowywać się jak ludzie. Buzi.