#piemageddon2

[alfvangr]

It’s not even noon yet and he’s tired.

Academy-issue boots carefully step around the carnage left by his peers, silently praying to the divine dragon Askr for whoever would be eventually made to perform clean-up duty. Alfonse sighs—he’d spotted his own sister engaging in the dessert-based warfare, and she was always saying things about how he’s a stick in the mud and doesn’t know how to have fun.

Gloved hand carefully picks up an apple pie, still mostly intact even after being thrown once already. Bounces it in his palm, as if testing the weight and heft of it. He’d apologize to the staff later. Right now, he has payback to deliver.

[regalblades]

He’d hoped to stay out of... whatever this was. After that initial assault, though, and knowing that it’s not stopping anytime soon, Lloyd throws together whatever clothes he knows he won’t miss should the worst occur before quietly arming himself. There’s a certain saying that probably applies here: it’s kill or be killed. And he has no intention of being killed.

[sweettoothforhire]

His frustration mounts. He's not exactly met with resounding success. He's still in the game though, and that means he will carry on. Aiming for the next soul to cross his sight, he flings first. Talks after. "Ey Sweettooth, for you!"

Saving Throw used

Of course it’s his fellow Knight that almost gets the best of him. Unlike most that gave him some kind of signal or warning via shouting or whatnot, by the time Gaius hears the shout, the pie was already inches from him, giving him barely any time to react. He puts his sword right in front of, pie getting sliced, but smudging him on both cheeks and even his hair. 

Damn, how strong was this guy?!

“Don’t throw pies like their boulders!”

[regnumaves]

Aftermath of Whatever This Was

The border patrol Tibarn had volunteered for proved to be quite the pleasant, relaxing one. The Hawk King has, for the most part, always enjoyed such tasks - they would often offer him the opportunity to stretch his wings and enjoy the feeling of freedom that came with flying and watching the world around him.

As he gets back to the monastery, he gets a weird feeling of something being wrong even before the reaches Garreg Mach. It feels... somewhat quieter, but the weird type of quiet. Has something happened? Unsure and confused, Tibarn picks up the pace.

--

There were a few hypothetical scenarios his mind prepared him for as he made his way to the place, but this sure was not one of them.

Blending in with the bizarre silence that had overtaken the staff and students cleaning up the... baked goods of different variety splattered all over the floors, walls and everything - including some of the workers - Tibarn carefully picks his way to his office, trying not to get his precious feathers dirty from the stuff. He briefly glances around as he goes. This would look like a battlefield if warring beorc threw cakes instead of spears at one another.

He successfully reaches his destination, only to make the extremely unpleasant discovery of something having in fact hit his door. Eugh.

... That being said, said something looks like remnants of a meat pie. If no one cleans this up, he might just give up and do it himself by eating the stuff. Unlike with beorc, Tibarn’s stomach is more than tolerant of meat that is not fully fresh, so hey, maybe he can at least get something out of this unexplained, confusing mess.

His attention is drawn to a small note stuck into the door by the knob. He takes it and reads,

Hello Professor, Things happened. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of this. Please take a day off.

...

He opens the door, slides into the office and locks it from the inside. Well, he supposes that’s his cue to get caught up on the gods damned paperwork.

Beorc are freaking weird.

[hotheadhero]

"Caspar might like this pie." Annette thought as she picked up a mincemeat pie from the table in the dining hall. "Oh there he is now!" she whispered to herself and threw the pie at him before it was too late.

No warning. He had no warning whatsoever.

One would think someone as prone to kitchen accidents as her would be more noisy than this, but alas, just as he returned to the kitchen to restock, someone--or more precisely, something, meaty and savory--caught him full in the face. Another meat pie--but alas, it was as doomed to be wasted as the first, for with his arms full, Caspar’s first instinct is not to snatch and eat it, but to flail, and wildly. Just his luck that he happened to be so close to the ammo table when he did, for his hands smack blindly against something with enough force to send it flying in the general direction of his assailant. 

[maesterofmagic]

Tethys eyes were never wrong. She saw the pinkette wielding blueberry pies and she can't help but think about the blueberry filling on her baby brother's sleeves. She winds up her throwing arm, and flings a fistful of chocolate pie at the possible culprit.

Her ears had perked up. With all this flinging it was hard to tell if it were coming for her or not. She had never seen this woman before and worse, she hadn’t seen this one coming until it was much too late. The chocolate pie flies through the air, almost as if it’s in slow motion, and she tries to outrun it or dodge it, but Mila has another plan in store for her.

As she’s smacked in the face with chocolatey goodness, she stumbles back a couple steps. 

Saving throw: 

Oh, Mila, what did she do to deserve this fate? Mae falls to her knees, then to her back. 

“So this is the end huh? Please... tell my friends... I never... I never had the chance... to... pie them.” And she closes her eyes in delicious defeat.

[progenitorheart]

A quick step on the edge of a pie tin. It flies up and then she swings the broom, hitting the back of the pie with it. She yells, as it makes contact, "How about some extra credit, Professor!"

Result: Barely hit! Roll again to determine your fate.

Result: Failure! Use saving throw?

Result: Success!

It clips Byleth’s shoulder—thankfully he’d left his overcoat in his room and thus spared it a fate of pie crust and filling—and bounces off to hit the ground with a clatter. She gets points for creativity, if nothing else. “I’ll consider the extra credit... provided a student is the last one standing in all of this.”

Never hurts to give them a little incentive, right?

[jehannandancer]

Azura chuckles softly. "Tethys, yes? I've heard you're a wonderful dancer. Maybe, after this, we could dance together." And then she throws a pie. "If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, that is!"

After comforting Ewan, Tethys makes it a point to find out who’s armed with cherry and blueberry pies. It was fairly common, but a bit of bias in her targets wouldn’t hurt as long as it still aided in her cause to get them to quit.

As she was scouting, she crosses paths with a fellow faculty-- one she has been looking forward to meeting. How can she not recognize her? Ewan spoke of her so fondly. The child seems to have a habit of latching on to his his teachers when he grows fond of them and she was definitely one of them.

Thankfully, despite the recognition, she doesn’t let her guard down. Her eyes never failed her, and she sees the pie on hand. When the pie is thrown, she ducks down swiftly, much like how she ends most of her performances. 

“There’s nothing to forgive.” She looks up and smiles. “I’d love to take up on your offer once all of this is done.”

[hungrymage]

A purple haired victim was just the person to deliver a purple pie to. "You were looking kinda blue, here, this is for you~" Mae tosses the blueberry pie at the girl.

Apples are a boring morning snack. Where’s the excitement? The symphony of spices? Food is food, yes, but jeez, after being spoiled by the kitchens, returning to plain old fruit is a disappointment. 

“....huh?” Is that...a pie?!

Roll: 9! Saving throw: 5 

Shoving the rest of her apple slices into her mouth, she embraces the pie with open arms. Blueberry splatters across her uniform, staining the jacket blue. Bits of crust fly into her hair. Ilyana collapses underneath the weight, not even mad. If she’s gonna go out, there’s no better way than delicious food.

[theindigoflirt]

"Oh, you again?" Tethys almost ran straight into Inigo but stopped right in front of him just in time. She had no ammo however, but he did. So, she tries to swipe the pie from his hands and just flip it on him.

“Hm?” Oh, the pretty girl from earlier today! Wearing his most charming grin, Inigo follows her movements. How rude, trying to steal the pie from his arms! In the scuffle, he loses his grip on the sugary treat. 

Roll: 10! 

The pie falls in slow motion as they both vie for control. It splatters both of them in a glorious explosion of whipped cream and dyed filling. 

“Well, I guess this is it then, huh?” 

[cashandaxes]

A pie didn’t need to be a traditional hit. Leon figured Charlotte might be too fit to not forget a slam dunk on the head and just outrun him, so he held a chocolate (it will stain!) pie in his hands and grinned, sneaking up on her and throwing it like a discus aimed at her torso

Roll: 13 and a 12 to not save rip Charlotte

It really hadn't taken much to convince Charlotte to join in the chaos. Being hit by that punk ass mage boy after having been beaten by him in the Battle of the Eagle and Lion was enough for her to throw caution to the win and run, feral, into the fray. Of course, the rules to pie fighting were not the same as the rules of weapon fighting. Charlotte was used to being able to endure hits, not necessarily dodge them. She was a tank and so, when Leon's pie came zooming toward her, she was too slow and side of the tin hit her right in the abdomen.

She let out a whine of a tantruming five year old before taking off running toward the purple archer. Just because she was out of the game didn't mean she couldn't at least run after and tackle him, right?

[alfvangr]

Celica was so vicious! She heard that pie hit Alfonse from like a 1000 miles away! She rushes to his side and pulls him into a hug, dramatically "weeping" as she says, "No! No, Alfonse! Speak, Alfonse, speak! Don't leave me, brotheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!!!!!"

“Sharena... if you stand here too long, you might just find yourself defeated in the same manner,” he remarks with a laugh. Because there is no mercy on the battlefield, and as much as he appreciates the (overly dramatic) sentiment, someone would see it as an opportunity to remove her from the running as well. “You’ll have to carry on in my place, I’m afraid.” That said, if she would let go of him now so he can get his uniform washed and cleaned...

[regalblades]

there’s a reason his alignment is everything but good.

So he’d changed out of his very ruined clothes after that fateful elimination, having disposed of the garments after determining the stains to be impossible to scrub out. Whatever that Linhardt kid had done to the cupcakes proved brutally effective—which is why, with a clean set of clothes (though just as disposable as the first should someone decide he hasn’t had his share of pastry bombardment yet), he clings to the shadows and dodges the remains of many a thrown pie in search of the noble.

And eventually finds him with another student—Lloyd remembers haphazardly throwing a pie at her only for it to miss ( hadn’t quite refined his aim at the time, unfortunately ), and wonders if she wouldn’t hold a grudge against him for it. They seem to be cooperating ( for now, at least ), and he approaches with a casual wave. “Hey there. If you’re still going at it, don’t suppose you’d appreciate an extra set of hands?”

Does he even have a reason to carry on with this tomfoolery? Not really. Would the eventual clean-up suck ass? Absolutely. Call it a whim; might as well enjoy the fun while it lasts.

@herrings @ingridbgalatea

[sweettoothforhire]

Another stranger, another set of not-at-all dubious questions. Apparently the guy loved nothing so much as sweets, so Caspar made it a point to get him right as he made for the mess. "Sorry about this!" No he wasn't, not at all: The way he sprang out of the giant flowerpot the monastery had yet to fill with greenery to huck a pie straight into Gaius's face at near point-blank range spoke only of chaotic glee that he stifled almost instantly by ducking back underneath his fake soil-covered lid.

Gaius always wondered when something like this would happen. It was a peaceful day in the mess hall and all of a sudden, pies started flying. Now, he thought it was a waste, but it was also an opportunity. Gaius prepares himself and resolved himself to taste all the pies and only throw the bad ones. 

If someone was gonna throw him any, he’s gonna catch it, eat it, and just collect it -- unless they were bad. 

So when he spots the first pie aimed at him, he nimbly side steps out of the way and catches it with his hand, a bright smile on his face as he does. 

[lalumierel]

Gaius has been seeing her throw pies a lot-- and he admits to swiping some off them as they flew. Some of them... didn't taste very well, however, and as he recognizes L'Arachel, he figured it was time to give a few things back to her. "Look alive, Clover!" And he throws a chicken pot pie her way.

As L’Arachel was searching for more ammo to utilize, she hears a voice call out to her. Or someone named... Clover? Was that addressed to her? She turns around to see a pie flying in her direction. Well, that answers her question.

“Look alive? But I am still breathing, can’t you see?” This time, she is able to evade his attack much more smoothly than the last attempt. A cheerful and triumphant grin crosses her face as she stands up and calls back, “You’ll have to try harder than that if you wish to strike me down!”

[hotheadhero]

"Huh, you again." Gaius encounters Baby Blue once more, and he still looked pretty clean. That can only mean one thing... "Catch!" He throws his last on-hand meat pie and makes a run for it, just in case this time around he catches and throws it back.

Dodge? 10 = no

Survive? 19 = yes!

The shout of warning is more than enough to cause Caspar to dodge. Maybe. He’s got to stop getting these near-misses, they’re giving him palpitations--!

The splat he hears somewhere behind him tells him whatever was in that pie, he would not have liked to get pied by it. And when he turns around--oh come on, it’s a meat pie???

“Hey!” he shouts at the ginger thief’s rapidly retreating form. “I would actually have liked to eat that instead!”

Maybe if he’d been pied somewhere less well-trodden, he’d’ve made use of the five-second rule. Too bad he’d wasted all that time yelling in vain.