#picurn

[bumble223]

My second...

You were only 5 days old. 5 days. Weighing in at whopping 3kg. It was an accident. She fell asleep with you. You suffocated. You were given 6rounds of epi. And over an hour of CPR. No one wants to declare a child. Let alone one that barely even started living. They finally got you back. And there you were. In my PICU. I took care of you. Made sure no lines laid on your delicate skin to leave imprints. We retapped your ETT so you tiny mouth wasn’t pulling. She wailed and pleaded with God to take her instead. Sobbed that if you went, she went too. It was an accident.

Today, they let you go. They set your soul free. And I am beyond amazed at the strength they have. And the amount of love they have in order to say they were going to let you go. So I bathed you. I removed IV lines, a foley, an NG. I swaddled your swollen little body. Swollen from all the fluid recuscitation and blood products. I swaddled you tightly. And then wrapped you in a pink blanket. Medication was started to keep you comfortable. And then finally, it was time. The ETT was removed. And I handed you to her. She sobbed and rocked you. And covered you with kisses. And she told you how much she loves you. How you’re never leaving her. You’ll always be apart of her. And a piece of her will now forever be missing. Your color changed. You were turning blue. And she cried out, “My baby is blue! She’s blue all over!” And he leaned over and said we knew this was going to happen. That you were in a better place. And she sobbed some more. 20 minutes seemed like an eternity watching you. I knew you were already gone. I stayed with your older sister. Who barely knew you and seemed so stoic. But when she held you after, tears fell silently. She looked up at me and I gently touched her shoulder. I didn’t know what to say. He crouched in front of her as she held you. And said how strong she was. What an amazing mother she was. How you served a greater purpose. You weren’t meant for this life. You weren’t meant to be hooked up to machines to breath for you. You were meant for something bigger than all this. He thanked her for giving him his baby. My heart shattered in a million more pieces. Three hours later, they left you alone. They said their good byes. And she fought to stay and didn’t want to leave you. It was time for postmortem care. A coworker helped me. Because I could not do it alone. We gently cleaned your body with baby soap one last time. As I held you up to wash your back I sobbed. Your tiny lifeless body felt so heavy in my hands. I picked you up and put you in the shroud. And you waited until transport came to bring your body to the morgue. Then one last time I lifted you up and put you on the cart. I cared for you for two days. And those are two days that will forever be apart of me. I cried on my way home. And when I walked through my front door, my husband was waiting with my two boys. 8 months and 3 years. And I sobbed. And I held my boys so tight and covered them with kisses. Rest In Peace little one. You are with the angels now.

[444names]

dragons + roman deities

Abudis Aburnus Adeata Adevora Aeracunox Aessis Aetas Afnia Afraconsua Aitas Aldra Ancaees Andina Andius Andonos Angitas Angue Annath Annax Antellus Antimantia Anturona Antutina Anusta Aphas Aphrake Apies Aquin Aquinea Aquinus Aquir Arsaphi Artuneroba Atatlaurol Azhdenth Bellonia Beres Berinetord Berrapudia Bervan Blacoenina Blaera Blago Blamut Blavervan Bubora Budanth Bulamanus Bulametas Burina Burobigue Burundemon Caabulines Caarn Caeste Caestia Camena Camutinens Cartumna Cathanusa Catona Cefid Cinus Cipliber Clepis Cleptuna Clepturna Clestumnus Clevernua Clona Coenrvagon Colloacops Collus Conaret Conepius Coniries Copies Corbricus Corcus Cordicina Corora Cortung Cortus Cultumna Cundovia Cungue Cupietas Curin Cybelames Deenus Delibitas Delivis Dello Deonath Deonitas Deven Devollus Devolvacch Devonsubon Dicultus Dicus Discith Discondia Discors Disilonia Ditanus Ditas Ditis Diusathus Dracon Draconius Dractas Draenta Draes Dragiaa Dragorter Drales Drancunus Drater Drogg Drovia Egalunus Egericitha Egerna Egerroch Elduus Elumies Eminet Emitascon Emitia Emona Entina Eventh Evitor Evollon Evolva Fabeona Fabubria Faburivia Fafnia Fafnirn Fafnius Fafra Famaug Fameenthus Famellona Famoon Famora Faragita Faraia Faunia Fauno Fauris Faurn Faurnax Fausta Favesta Favolus Febrina Felbarth Fellona Feracol Ferita Ferta Feyrbra Feyren Feyrenthus Fidea Fidhogg Fidona Firia Firina Firitia Firnus Firta Fitas Fitia Flacorus Flamefina Flamete Flardicina Floacina Flonia Forbon Forbra Frina Frinus Friona Fulacor Fules Fulgoch Fulgona Fulicus Furitina Glactors Glacury Glaerm Glago Glamandan Glaurosta Glororcuna Griplinus Grivis Haetes Herakor Herna Hertus Hessitors Hogoch Icimules Incus Ingitas Iscarth Isitis Jandinus Jangue Jundis Jungue Jupicunus Jupid Jutas Juveionsua Juveluna Juvere Juveresta Kalepius Kathrogg Katlaentes Lacinus Lacolungue Lamello Lamuta Laung Lempal Lempes Leptus Libelagona Libellona Libercuna Libitas Libitis Licimaita Licinax Licitas Licupius Lifello Lifeyres Linaestes Linemeldra Lineta Livires Livyates Lucimutina Lucin Lumna Maigo Maigorne Maita Mandicus Manis Manta Mantia Mantinax Manus Marta Mathus Medithus Meessina Meldra Mello Meluna Menax Menrvagona Menta Mentatas Menth Mentia Menus Messolva Messomna Mestries Metondia Metor Metorina Minxia Miter Mnestina Mnete Monaet Moniapor Moongue Moononirne Motha Mutas Mutasa Mutuna Nemen Nemena Nempesta Nephros Noniamerna Nustia Obigue Obigus Obita Obitia Occher Ochurol Opiaabeona Opicus Opius Orchura Ordia Orovirna Ortuna Ourus Paars Palemonaen Pangus Panungue Pardia Penturogo Pessilva Pesta Picurn Pidovera Piduus Pietorcus Pitia Poente Pormin Porta Postas Postuneris Pothwin Potia Potitita Pries Prina Pritricus Proba Pudina Pudis Putia Putus Pyres Quina Quingitia Quira Quitascon Quitora Ragon Rhaeranna Rhanemon Rhanus Robon Rochurna Rodicina Rodina Rorbrinus Roromonax Roverra Rovia Roviduus Ruinus Rummina Ryuus Saies Saigochus Saigors Salammie Salkorin Sapha Saphaer Saphir Sarta Sathus Satonidea Satus Sciplago Sclemon Scoeluna Scone Seata Secus Semona Serme Sermflona Sinus Sisitin Sitas Smaitus Smattia Solva Somancanna Somne Somnen Sorina Sormeen Sorter Sorthan Spentash Spyrbona Sterna Stevercus Stricus Sturn Stverra Suades Suadevia Subon Sumies Tello Tevidon Tiapus Typhi Typhogg Typhona Vaconcard Vagitia Vanditas Vecunax Veiovera Veliberm Velucina Vestis Viamona Vicus Vidhon Vidhona Vidhonia Vidhonis Vidovia Viria Viscipla Visilourn Vollona Volva Vonda Vulaze Vulcarm Vulgoch Vulgona Vultus

[bumble223]

For all my fellow nurses out there. Joy Behar and The View can suck it.

[bumble223]

Nurses week.