#pickles kinda looks extra bald here. not my fault

[discountskeppy]

the family dynamic is very serious

[unrestedjade]

I’ll be adding this to Cigarettes and Cassette Tapes later, but for now I wanna puke this onto Tumblr before I nitpick to absolute death. @chupacawha this was inspired by something you said when we watched the Genkai Tournament arc but I can’t remember what lol.

The walk back to the train station felt about a hundred times as long as the trip out to the temple. And that wasn't even touching climbing down all eighty million steps leading from the temple grounds just to get back to the damn road in the first place. Botan helped as best she could, but most of Kuwabara's weight was on Yusuke. The taller boy leaned heavily on him as they stumbled along, his arm bearing down on Yusuke’s shoulders. Yusuke’s arm around Kuwabara’s waist trembled with effort, hand fisted in tattered fabric to anchor himself. If either of them stumbled, they were both going down.

Yusuke wanted nothing more than to fall face down in the ditch and stay there. Fuck it, let the weeds reclaim him. There wasn't a square inch of his body that didn't hurt, and he was running on less than fumes. The only thing that kept him putting one foot in front of the other was the fact that Kuwabara was having an even harder time staying upright and was somehow doing it anyway. Stubborn bastard. Stubborn, heavy bastard.

The sky was passing from twilight to true night by the time they reached the station. The girl at the ticket counter shot them a look that was equal parts suspicious and alarmed, which Botan smoothed over with some line about a hiking accident. Blah, blah, worse than it looks, blah, blah, bald-faced lie. None of them were dressed to go hiking, and the state of Yusuke and Kuwabara's clothing ruled out any kind of nature-y mishap short of a bear attack. In any case, they must not have looked sketchy enough to call for security, because soon enough they were joining the evening commuter crowd on the platform.

Not many people headed into the city at this time of night, preferring to live out in the smaller towns and suburbs and commute in for work. Botan helped Yusuke maneuver Kuwabara into a window seat. He was pretty out of it after all that walking, eyes glassy and unfocused. Yusuke didn't feel so hot himself, and dropped into the aisle seat next to him-- too much effort to take even one extra step to sit next to Botan in the seats opposite.

"Well," Botan sighed as the train got underway, "that was certainly an eventful day." Her ponytail, normally high and bushy, was wilting down the back of her neck, strands falling loose into her face. Mud smudged the knees of her jeans. On the seat next to her, her bag bulged with the jar holding the shrunken Randou. Yusuke recalled seeing a logo for some brand of pickles stuck to the glass. He hoped it stunk to high heaven in there. And that Botan had forgotten to punch air holes in the lid.

Yusuke slouched in his seat. "That sucked." The train's climate control chilled the sweat soaking his ruined t-shirt, raising goosebumps on his arms. Not that he'd admit he was cold, but he was kinda envious of Kuwabara's jacket-- what was left of it, anyway. "All that shit, and no Tokyo Dome. Don't know what I fuckin' expected."

"Language," Botan chided, more out of reflex than actual offense. "And if it makes you feel any better, I never had a ticket in the first place. I just didn't know how else to get you out here." She had the gall to smile and shrug.

"Y'know," Yusuke sighed, "you're kind of an asshole sometimes." He didn't know why he was surprised. He was starting to get the feeling that getting his life back just meant he was stuck being the spirit world's bitch for the indefinite future. They could at least throw him a bone now and then.

Botan dropped the ditzy sidekick routine, along with her smile. "Don't forget that this is your job, Yusuke. Koenma was generous enough to-"

"Yeah, yeah, enough. I get it." More lectures. Dead or alive, he could never get away from people who wanted to nag at him. Beside him, Kuwabara snored softly, head resting against the window. It didn't look terribly comfortable, but at this point he probably didn't give a shit.

"You did amazing work today," Botan said, relenting. "Really." She reached out to lay a hand on her bag. “Thanks to you, Randou won’t be able to hurt anyone else.”

Yusuke couldn’t help but glance over at Kuwabara’s right arm, the elbow of which had been bending the wrong direction only a couple hours ago. Botan followed his gaze, a frown creasing her brows. “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” she said, softly. “What happened wasn’t your fault, it was Randou’s. And luckily, Genkai is an incredibly gifted healer.” She smiled. “All’s well that ends well, isn’t that right?”

Just because the bones were mended didn’t mean they hadn’t been broken in the first place. But it hadn’t been Botan’s fault, either, so Yusuke kept his mouth shut.

A rough spot of track made the train car shudder. Kuwabara was dislodged from the windowpane and leaned over in the other direction, head thudding onto Yusuke’s shoulder. Apparently, his skull was thick enough that this didn’t wake him up.

“Super.” Like Yusuke really wanted to prop him up for the entire train ride after propping him up for the entire walk from the temple.

The googly eyes Botan was aiming at him just made things worse. “Oh,” she exclaimed, “isn’t that adorable?”

Yusuke glared. “No,” he sneered. “Are you sick in the head, or something?”

“I think the two of you have gotten a lot closer after the day you shared.” Botan rested her chin on her hands, a syrupy grin plastered on her face. “How heartwarming!”

“Revolting.”

Giving Yusuke a conspiratorial wink, Botan stood, hefting her bag over her shoulder. "I have to use the bathroom!" she announced to the train car at large. "I will probably be a while!"

Nearby passengers looked up from their magazines and conversations at her. Yusuke only raised an eyebrow. "What a lady."

"And you're such a gentleman," Botan shot back as she stepped into the aisle, aiming a pointed smirk at Kuwabara's head on his shoulder. She walked away too fast to see the one-finger salute Yusuke gave her, but she could probably guess, anyway.

For the next few minutes, Yusuke pondered whether Botan actually did have to take a shit or something. He’d seen her eat before, but he had no idea how any of that stuff worked for a spirit, and he wasn’t about to ask. He figured she probably just wanted a place to leave her physical body while she checked in with Koenma. That was probably for the best-- she always forgot to close her eyes first when she left it. Looked creepy as hell. Well, if she was gonna be gone for a while, Yusuke could catch a nap. The combination of the cool air and Kuwabara's warmth against his side had him sleepy.

As exhausted as he was, no matter how much he tried to relax, he just couldn't let himself fall asleep. It didn't help that other passengers kept stealing glances at them. Yusuke caught a salaryman three rows down glaring disapprovingly over the top of his newspaper. "The hell are you looking at?" Yusuke snapped. The salaryman hid behind his paper. Good. Uppity guys in suits were especially annoying.

Kuwabara stirred, a confused croak in the back of his throat.

"You're awake," Yusuke said, voice low so the busybodies sharing the car wouldn't overhear. "Sit up and get off me." He didn't even elbow Kuwabara that hard, but Kuwabara hissed, curling an arm over his side. Fuck, that's right. His ribs had been busted up pretty bad— probably still hurt like a bitch. "Shit, sorry. You okay?"

"You're a dick, Urameshi." Kuwabara's speech was slurred, like he was buzzed. Botan had been babbling something about accelerated healing and reiki donation on the walk to the station that Yusuke hadn't listened to at all. Maybe she'd meant that Kuwabara was gonna be a little fucked up for a while from whatever Genkai had done to fix his injuries.

He was also still resting his stupid heavy head on Yusuke's shoulder.

"Seriously, sit up. Do I look like a pillow?" Yusuke gave him a shove, gentle this time, because there was nowhere on him that hadn't been horribly injured. Kuwabara barely moved, mostly because Yusuke was still too worn out to do much more than lift his own arm, much less push the larger boy away.

"...You smell real bad."

Great. This was exactly how Yusuke wanted to spend the two-hour ride back into town. "Lean against the window, then!" It wasn't his fault he'd taken a dip in a damn swamp today.

Kuwabara shook his head, the frizzy remains of his pomp tickling Yusuke's cheek. "Nuh-uh. Too hard. Makes my head hurt."

"What are you, a little kid? Man up."

Ordinarily, Kuwabara would bristle, say something about being ten times manlier than Yusuke, and sit up straight to prove that he was just fine and in no way had gotten seven kinds of shit kicked out of him. He didn't budge. His skull was really starting to dig into Yusuke's shoulder. Fuck it. Yusuke shifted his weight, leaning into Kuwabara so that they were propping each other up and Kuwabara's head was resting on muscle instead of bone. His forehead against Yusuke's neck was warm, feverish even. He had to feel even shittier than Yusuke did, weird psychic healing bullshit or not.

"For the biggest punk in school, you're pretty clingy," Yusuke joked, because nothing about this wasn't awkward as hell. He was going for a mocking tone, but it didn't quite come across. "Were you worried about me?" It was hard to sneer effectively when you had to whisper to avoid the attention of a dozen strangers who'd turn around to see you totally not cuddling with your big ugly classmate.

"Yeah."

Well, shit. Yusuke didn't know what to say to that. He huffed out a sigh. Winding Kuwabara up was the easiest thing in the world any other time. Just one normal thing tonight, that was all he was asking for…

"Thought you were gonna die again," Kuwabara murmured, because of course he couldn't just shut up.

"Don't be stupid," Yusuke snapped. "You're the one that..." A mouthful of bile stopped him from finishing his thought. He swallowed, throat burning. Just the reminder of what that psycho had done to Kuwabara had his guts churning again, enraged. He hadn't been that angry since the shit that had gone down with Keiko at the warehouse, and it caught him off guard even now. If Randou had been a human and not some stupidly strong demon from Hell, Yusuke would have killed the fucker. But Randou would get his in Spirit World. That would have to be good enough. "How are you feeling?"

Kuwabara squirmed a little, trying to find a position that didn't leave the armrest between them pressing against his abused rib-cage. "Like shit," he said. "You?"

"Like shit," Yusuke repeated back. It was true. He'd never felt so used up. Leaning against Kuwabara was at least a little more comfortable than trying to slouch down against the seat back. If you can’t beat ‘em, or whatever.

"If I ask you something weird, will you laugh?"

That was not a question Yusuke was prepared to hear right now. Then again, sitting in silence while they were both awake would be even more awkward. "Probably. What's up?"

"Was I at the bottom of the swamp with you?" Kuwabara twisted to look up at him. Huh. His eyes were gray. Yusuke had never noticed that, but then he wasn't usually this close to Kuwabara's face when he wasn't busy pulverizing it.

More importantly, he hadn't hallucinated Kuwabara showing up underwater like he’d started to convince himself. "Yeah," he said, glaring down at Kuwabara and trying not to accidentally take a bite of his stupid hair. "Real nice, showing up to shit-talk a dying man one last time. How the hell did you do that, anyway?"

Kuwabara shrugged. "I dunno." He looked forward again, his face turning out of view. The hint of redness across his cheekbones Yusuke caught was probably from the fever he was running. "You were drowning, and I really had to get over there, and I couldn't get my stupid body to move. So I guess I kinda just...left it?" He chuckled once, wincing as his ribs protested. "Felt kinda nice to take a break from just lying there feeling like crap. It was getting pretty hard to breathe."

"You had a collapsed lung." Among many, many other things. Yusuke had the feeling the image of Kuwabara so mangled that his body looked vaguely off and uncanny would be featuring in his nightmares for a while.

"I guess that'd do it," Kuwabara said. He didn't seem too alarmed, which could have been down to him being punch-drunk and tired. "Did you get him?" Botan had talked at length about the justice awaiting Randou during their long walk. Add a concussion to the list of things Kuwabara was healing from. "Yeah."

Kuwabara made a pleased sound. "Good."

"Yeah, fuck that guy," Yusuke said, in the understatement of the century.

Kuwabara was quiet for a couple minutes. Just as Yusuke was wondering if he'd fallen asleep again, he said, "What do you think his deal was? I can't figure it out."

Yusuke shrugged. "From what the old bitch said, he might not have a reason other than fighting and throwing his weight around."

"I don't think that's it," Kuwabara said, his speech getting, if anything, even less distinct. He’d probably doze off for real pretty soon. "You like fighting, but you don't keep beating on people after the fight's over.”

“You’d know better than anyone.”

Kuwabara didn’t rise to the bait, too lost in his own train of thought. “Guys like that, I don't think they care about the fight at all. Just wanna hurt someone."

Yusuke frowned. Kuwabara wasn't wrong. And for whatever reason, he seemed to keep running into the kind of guys who were out to spread hurt around for the sake of it. Kuwabara definitely had a talent for sticking his nose into trouble, like he had today.

Another flash of anger. Yusuke had a feeling it would take a while to really calm down, even if the adrenaline rush of the fight was long over. "I shoulda killed that asshole."

Kuwabara shook his head, jostling Yusuke's jaw. "You're not that kinda guy."

Yusuke wasn't so sure about that, at all. He hadn't spared Randou's life, he just hadn't been strong enough to take him out. He'd have to accept that whatever punishment Koenma came up with for the guy would be enough, but he couldn't shake the feeling that the world would be better off without Randou in it. In the moment, with Randou gloating over all those people he'd killed and Kuwabara lying shattered on the ground, he'd wanted nothing more than to break his own fists turning Ranou's face into an unrecognizable lump of meat until long after the demon stopped moving.

He didn't say any of this out loud. Despite being one of Randou's victims, Kuwabara wouldn't agree with him. His honor code didn’t have a lot of flex in it. Yusuke didn't want to think about Kuwabara being disgusted by him, or scared of him.

Or wrong about him.

"Sorry," Kuwabara said. "I wasn't much help, either. Just got in your way."

Okay, now Yusuke knew for sure that Kuwabara was completely out of it. He never talked down about himself. "No, you didn’t." Shaken from his dark thoughts, Yusuke nudged gently against Kuwabara's side. "You were great," he said, the compliment sticking in his craw out of habit. "I'm glad you were here."

Kuwabara caught himself before he laughed and hurt himself again. "Y’know, not counting the whole...monster serial-killer thing, it was kind of fun."

Parts of the day, Yusuke had to admit, had been fun. The ordeal had been a pain in the ass overall, but in bits and pieces, for a few minutes at a time, Yusuke had forgotten he was working a case. "Well, next time you wanna change of pace I can kick your ass at the arcade instead of in the alley."

"Whatever," Kuwabara said. "Don't forget who schooled you back at the temple."

Yusuke scoffed. "You're psychic, so you had an advantage. With normal machines, I'd murder you."

"We’ll...” Kuwabara was cut off by a yawn. “We’ll see about that.”

Minutes passed, and Kuwabara's breathing gentled as he drifted off. Yusuke looked over the top of his head out the window, watching the nighttime scenery whip by outside, fields and little stands of trees partly obscured by his own reflection staring back at him. It would be at least another hour before they got back into the city, and then they still had to walk all the way to Kuwabara's house. And then Yusuke would have to walk all the way back home. And then he'd have to go all the way back to that stupid fucking temple in the middle of nowhere for six whole months.

Sometimes it felt like staying dead would have been easier.

Warm air gusted across his collarbones as Kuwabara sighed, as if he'd heard Yusuke's thought and was irritated by it.

"Take it easy, big guy," Yusuke murmured. "Not going anywhere." At some point he'd leaned his cheek on top of Kuwabara's head, sweat and grass and pomade mingling in his nose. As much as part of him needed to stay alert, keep watch for threats, be ready to defend himself, he was just too tired. He let himself stay where he was, not thinking of much, listening to Kuwabara breathe and the muffled shift and clatter of the train around them.

Quietly, Botan slipped back into her seat across from Yusuke. When she set down her bag, it was clear that the pickle jar was gone. So, Randou had been delivered to the proper authorities, whoever that was. Botan's eyes were glassy, and she was blinking furiously. She'd forgotten to close her eyes before she left her body again. Heh. It would be sort of cute if it weren’t so damn unsettling. She smiled drowsily at Yusuke, taking in the tableau of him and Kuwabara sitting peacefully together.

“Don’t,” Yusuke said, heading off whatever cutesy crap she was about to say. He was too tired and semi-comfortable to move, but she could shut up about it.

Botan’s eyes twinkled. “I didn’t say anything!”