#physh be rambling

[physalian]

As somebody who's been a realist/pessimist my whole life and who tends to approach horrible situations with a "meh, that's how it be" (also autistic who underreacts in general)... watching the spiral of rage coming from naive optimists who finally break into a jaded mess is something uniquely tragic.

Kind of a super fucked-up version of "A fell first, B fell harder" I guess?

I've had my whole life to detatch from silver linings. But you, friend, yours was cut out of you with a piece of broken glass. And look at the mess it made.

[physalian]

Am I the only one on here who will like a post just because it has no notes and follow somebody just to be nice?

Like. Hey, friend, I see you talking into the void. Let me help the void wave back.

[physalian]

I’ll have Jon Stewart on in the background while I work on Tuesdays now, and just watched him debate a guy over DEI/wokeism and I am not here to say which of them I agree with. But I think a company like mine is a microcosm of why DEI, in theory, is something a lot of people support without the “DEI” label giving it Connotations. But DEI, in practice, isn’t effective.

I volunteered—volunteered—to sit on my company’s shiny new DEI council a while back. I was not getting paid any extra for this extra work and any work I did outside my normal working hours, I only got paid for if I also did OT for my actual job.

Well. I left my seat on the council because one of the men in charge, a very conservative Christian, gave me shit for wanting to include secular Christmas traditions for a holiday campaign we were doing. You know. Because Christmas isn’t just celebrated by fundamental Christians. I made all the internal marketing content, from scratch, for no extra pay, so I got my way and then quit before they had time to find someone else to redo it. (which is just. Par for the course. Him: Only what I care about matters. Me: How about I spotlight the things we both care about equally? Him: No.) Of the 8 sentences for the "Christmas" description, seculars got 2 of them.

I had looped in my company’s shiny new CPO (chief people officer) as she’s the head of the DEI group, on my resignation email, and then had a nice long private chat with her ripping the guy to pieces. He’s been with the company forever, so I knew he wouldn’t get any consequences, but it was very, very clear that he was on the council to keep us from doing anything upsetting.

In our candid conversation, this very nice lady who had no idea what she signed up for joining my super conservative company, talked about how sensitive some employees were about all kinds of things and how frustrating it was trying to do nice culture things even beyond DEI. Like, can’t have a pie eating contest because somebody’s diabetic and is offended (who wasn’t going to participate anyway, when the option to buy a special pie just for them was offered). Just constantly being met with opposition for the most asinine reasons. I hate the hot dog eating contest, to the point that I’d likely get sick just watching or listening or even smelling hotdogs, it's triggering—guess what? I can just. Leave the room while it happens. But somebody got offended so the pies were cancelled.

Other things, too, like including any perceived "white people blaming" for various holiday awareness campaigns. Like Pride, or Native American History Month, or Black History Month. It all had to be sanitized so it didn't "bring down the mood". Looped right back around to being racist and patronizing.

And when she asked me what I’d do better to change the council, first of all I’d make it paid, even a tiny stipend, because asking those of us in the company who are already marginalized to dedicate more time and effort for no extra money just to be seen, meanwhile those sitting comfy do absolutely nothing, is ass-backwards.

But the thing I tried to explain to her was this: Putting up Pride flags once a year is great and all, but the bones of this company are the problem. The people you continue to hire are the problem. The personalities you look for in your salespeople are the problem. The “work hard/play hard” toxic work culture you spout is the problem. Raises consistently falling behind inflation is the problem. Making it painfully, explicitly clear that the big boss only gives a shit about sales, to an entire office filled with people who run his company, to our faces, is the problem. I wouldn't care about the kindergarten-friendly culture campaigns if you weren't also patting yourselves on the back for being so inclusive and progressive.

Of course you’re going to meet opposition from people with zero incentive to care, who know they’re protected by the “we’re a family” company culture. Of course your cutesy little marketing campaigns will land on deaf ears when they require no active participation and offer no incentive to pay attention to. I mean, I guess it’s better than nothing, but you’re trying to drive a Pride float with flat tires and broken axels. Yeah, it’s a float, it sure is glittery, but it’s not gonna go anywhere.

Get C-suite to show they give a shit, first, and that they’re going to make some real changes to help their employees not be marginalized to necessitate a whole council in the first place. Otherwise, all the company parties in the world don’t mean a thing when I have to literally live an entire city away from my office because I can’t afford rent within driving distance.

[physalian]

I think there’s a difference between ignorant and informed “problematic” content. I have a very thick skin for all manner of squicky tropes, but usually I find it in a dead dove fic where the author goes “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…?”

Vs an ignorant author who goes “wouldn’t it be so romantic if…?”

As in, the author knows what they’re writing is triggering and will upset people, reader beware, it’s just for shits and giggles. It’s fun, we’re having a good time, and we all go home knowing the author doesn’t take this seriously.

Or, wow that was horrific and the author and their fans wholeheartedly agrees yeah that was horrific! Wasn’t it great?

Versus an author, usually of original fiction, who does not have the lived experience to understand the ramifications of just what they’re romanticizing. Like, an author who is not a survivor of SA glorifying SA without two shits given to how what they’re saying isn’t inherently sexy.

Or wow that was horrific but the author and their fans going um excuse you, bigot, it was so romantic.

Just. Some self-awareness, maybe? You can indulge yourself while accepting and even embracing that it's a little fucked-up. It's human to be into some fucked-up things.