#phuckers

[hype-old-posts]

no im totally not crying over stolitz

and no im totally not heartbroken over the heartbroken words of a heartbroken british demon bird

[spookyweek2023]

I don't think the phagenda likes me I signed up my email on the first insta story and I still don't have it

[buonaseranatasha]

Banging my head against a wall, someone come help me clean all the brain matter from the floor

[badgerflavored-fruitloop]

BUH

HUH

HAH

THE DANNY PHANTOM BOOK I PREORDERED

IT FUCKING CAME

[pyromotha]

Yall bitches just jealous.

got me excessive heat warning, severe thunderstorms, tornado watch, extreme air quality warning, acid rain warning, extreme wind speeds warni-

a beautiful woman named excessive heat warning keeps messaging me on my phone

[hyukassubi]

🙌

7:44 - 8:33

[brownsplodge]

Sometimes I just make a whole oc and an entire species in one day

(Freak)

Anyways I finally finished creating an oc based on a vague concept I had in the back of my mind. Guy in the top hat is my new pookie Raine Bowe (full name Raine Papillon Bowe but then the pun would be less obvious) and he’s a leprechaun :>

For fear of a too long ramble I won’t go into leprechaun lore of my story but basically he’s super lucky, and he uses that power to have a technically completely not rigged Casino lmfao

Guy he’s interacting with in the only finished art is another oc of mine Monstur Phucker (yes the name is intentional and according to the family websites I found I don’t think either name is real) for some random old man yaoi (every interaction Monstur has with older non human men basically)

[alestersartistshack]

Don't judge me folks but...... I would love to meet her parents

At some point I had to admit that I attract and I love crazy women

I play souls games so that explains this

[dnp-hateblog]

Hello bestie text from Dan during work 🙄 he's having so much fun I know

[wappyblog]

hey fellow photosensitive phuckers,

people don't tag flashing properly. we know this. however. you can also stop all media from autoplaying.

just go into your settings until you find "media auto play" and toggle "never auto play".

and then bam. much safer to scroll through.

this will mess with stimboards and stuff but it's a small sacrifice imo

[evisxerate]

say hello to our beautiful son

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie pt.2

summary: i hated the other one of this that i made, so REMAKE TIEM!!!

warnings: miiinor sexual content, shit talking, gay people 😒

authors note: heheheh ples don’t flop this time..

- during her faceless days, she opened up a po box so ppl could send her things, and she made an amazon wishlist and she unboxed stuff on stream 😍😍

- one day she was unboxing a giant box of cat toys. string, those little feather stick things, even that weird automatic flapping fish thing (that she secretly loves and taped to her back one time)

- she was playing with this one toy that was a little fishing reel, and it had string and a little fish on the bottom. she went on and onnn about how shes a self proclaimed “fishing master” while garf chased it around, letting out little meows and growls of frustration.

- eventually, she lost her grip and let go of the pole. she bent down to pick it up, forgetting that her face would be in view. thus, the chat started blowing up.

ewwwbruh: FACE REVEAL

ewwife: EW WE CAN SEE UR FACE

ewwife: JUST THE SIDE BUT WE CAN SEE YOUU

ewssidechick: her nose looks so rideable…

- she got distracted petting garfield, and didn’t realize anything until she stood up. she was getting tagged over and over again on twitter, blurry pictures of her face (curtesy of the shitty webcam) circulating through her subreddit.

- “guys. im gonna erase this from ur memory…” and she literally held up this goofy ass hypnotizer pendelum and started fake hypnotizing everyone like “that never happenedddd” “you don’t know what i look likeeee” “that was fakeeee” “chat that was not reallll”

- and everyone literally js went along with it and pretended it never happened. like ppl were tweeting about it and everyone was like ��huh??? what are u talking about bruh??”

- she did the same thing after falling off her rainbow unicorn scooter 😞

- one time she revealed that the “ew” in her username stood for her initials, and everyone was making the most horrendous guesses. elliam willace being the favorite one.

- “guys, my name is not edward wilson??? i am���not a man”

- shes gotten into so much drama…multiple notes app apologies have been issued via her instagram story.

- people would ask her opinions on other streamers, and she’d literally just be like “…i have no idea who that is.” and people would get so MADDDD but homegirl is literally just blatantly unaware

- or she would know , and would literally be like “they’re honestly super annoying and i would rather kill myself than watch them but whatever floats ur boat ig!”

- she played that “womp womp womp womppp” sound effect on her soundboard afterwards.

- SPEAKING OF. she abuses that soundboard sooo much. its so obnoxious and annoying like I SWEARRR!!! she’ll tell a horrible pun and play the crowd laughing and cheering sound effects while literally no one laughed.

“guys. whats the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament??”

“…live streaming.”

(crowd cheering sound effect)

“nooo thank you thank you, you’re all too kind, really!!”

- meanwhile chat was dead silent.

- every time she gets to choose her own name on a game its some dumb shit like "jizzmaster" or "chris fucker"

- “it appears you have entered innapropriate content.” “OHHH LOOK AT EPISODE LOOK AT THESE CORPORATE BIGWIGS TRYING TO CONTROL THE LITTLE MAN???”

- she just ended up naming him “chris phucker”

- like when she played episode on stream and made up really annoying voices for all the characters and made her character look like an elderly man, and made the love interest look like you 😍😍

- she messes up sm on games when she streams normally, but when you're there? she is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. sitting there so focused the entire time just to show off

- whenever she randomly goes silent she just starts SINGING. it's either nicki minaj or some fucking fnaf song

"IS THIS THE THANKS THAT I GET FOR PUTTING U BITCHES ON???"

- speaking of, her favorite fnaf song is def “stay calm” cuz she loves saying “hey kids. Nice to eat ya.”

- bought one of those "i paused my game to be here" tshirts…ironically. you refuse to let her wear it in public

- beefs w kids on fortnite sm... she has definitely gotten banned for saying she was gonna bomb a kids house or fuck their mom 😞

- every time she plays a game, she'll literally sit there and watch an 8 hour long video about the lore. she'll plop down on the couch and watch it like a movie

"did you know everyone actually thought that fnaf one took place in 1993, but it was actually 1992?"

- she definitely had you sit next to her when she played through fnaf because she was lowk scared the entire time whenever she heard you walking around the house while she was playing she'd hear footsteps in the hallway and be like. WHAT THE FUCKKK

-she'd have you right next to her, laying your head on her shoulder and messing with her free hand. if you fell asleep, she would be sitting there slapping her hand over her mouth whenever she gets jumpscared bc she doesn't want you to wake up 😞

- sometimes, while she streams , she plays one handed games and lets you sit and draw on her arm for fun. even got you a whole set of those skin markers so u could go ABSOLUTELY HAM. she got one drawing you did that said “r + e 4eva” tattooed in ur handwriting…such a sap

- she loves watching fan edits of herself...AND OF YOU. she'll be on her burner account with a whole collection on tiktok of edits of you.

ewwsbiggestfan: shes so bad i want her to hit me w her car...

- speaking of. imagine her using that account to make shitty capcut edits of you like

- shes ur biggest fan ongod

-WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF “fans”…what if i made a completely new origin story for streamer!ellie and reader. what if they were both streamers….

- OKAY SO BASICALLY.

- you had started streaming about a year before ellie did. butttt, you two did very different types of streaming.

- you weren’t very into like, SERIOUS video games. sure, you played some stuff, like animal crossing and roblox and the sims, but nothing more than that.

- that wasn’t what you were streaming though.

- ever since you were younger, you had been wayyyy into…literature.

-by literature i mean fanfiction. heaps of it.

- actors, anime characters, BOOK CHARACTERS, you were in DEEP

- sometimes, for fun, you used to read them out loud in stupid voices. when you were alone, or with your friends, it was very entertaining

- that’s when you got the idea to start streaming it. if it could entertain your friends, and you, whos to say it wouldn’t entertain other people.

- well, it definitely did. in your first year, you hit 10k followers. people loved you. theyd make edits of you, send in requests of fics for you to read, everything.

- a while later, ellie started gaining more and more popularity. out of all the incomes of fame, fanfiction was the most. abundant!

- one day, you got a request to read an ellie x reader fic. at the time, you barely had any idea who she was, but you decided to just go with it 🤞🏽

- “who the fuck is elliam willace???”

- the fanfic was definitely very…graphic!

- “your hips rolled onto her thigh, her slender, tattooed hand palming at your waist. ‘you’re doing so good babe, fuck.’-“ “GUYS. ISN’T SHE NOT ON MUTE RIGHT NOW???”

- you couldn’t help but giggle the rest of the fic, feeling a nagging heat in your core. you didn’t even know who the girl was, but if this fic was accurate, someone would have to sedate you.

-“im actually. gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. GUYS. who is this woman…is she real… if she is. things are about to get WICKED.”

- not very thankful to you at the moment, she was very real. apparently, you and her were streaming at the same time, and your followers raided her stream telling her she was reading about you. her curiosity was obviously piqued, and why would she NOT join the stream?

- creeperewman: im definitely real!

- the text on your screen literally made your stomach fall into your ass. you stood up and legit just walked out of the room, camera still on. was she there the whole time???

- creeperewman: aww 😞 where’d she go she’s so badddd

- you eventually returned after a minute of calming yourself down, and low and behold, she gifted you 100 subs and followed you on instagram.

- she was definitely very real!! and that fanfic was…lore accurate. to say the least 😊

- after you two started dating, the two of you would often show up on eachothers streams. ellie, teaching you how to play cod, and you, reading with her.

- she secretly loves reading the fics people write about her and making fun of them, and every time you stream with her shes “subtly” hinting that you should read about her

sitting there pulling on her collar, looking away like “gee, wonder who you’re gonna pick today” with the worst fake laugh ever.

- “ellie can barely ride a scooter, idk why she’s in the mafia rn…” “you fall off ONE TIME and all of a sudden you cant ride a scooter. bullshit.”

- she makes fun of all the dumb pet names like “babygirl” and “darling” and randomly calls you them and bursts out laughing

- you still read those fics when you’re bored sometimes. and ellie MERCILESSLY makes fun of you for it

“yknow, if you missed me that bad, you should’ve just told me.”

[badgerflavored-fruitloop]

Holy trinity

[kami-kun1003]

The SFOTH as things me and my friends have said

~~~

Icedagger: I’m going to shove a whole cup of ice shards directly into your lungs.

Darkheart: Try us, bitch…!

~~~

Illumina: Guys, don’t let Venomshank out of the basement.

Venomshank: NO GET ME OUT

Illumina: No one is coming to save you, phucker!!!

~~~

Ghostwalker: Who is your worst enemy?

Firebrand: Deadlines.

Icedagger: Some random person I beefed with on Wattpad four years ago.

Icedagger: Wattpad user lemonhehe, I will get you one of these days.

~~~

Venomshank: What does monster energy taste like?

Firebrand: I don’t know? I guess it would depend on the monster and what type of energy it has—

Firebrand: WAIT DID YOU MEAN THE DRINK?!

~~~

Windforce: Ew, there’s a gnat.

Illumina: Don’t insult Icedagger.

Windforce: …no, I mean, an actual gnat.

Illumina: Stop being rude.

~~~

Darkheart: We just saw Illumina stab a milk carton and pour the milk out that way…??

Icedagger: Oh my gods.

Icedagger: I’m going to start doing that from now on.

~~~

Firebrand: You are my younger sibling and I must protect you!

Icedagger: ..erm.

Darkheart: Nonsense… get in our Punt Younger Siblings Into The Sun-inator, we promise it’s safe…

[apocalypseofgoodandevil]

Let them cope. Phat phighters W

phighting for my life in here

isaw someone malding abt ppl drawing the phighters phat so THIS ONE GOES OUT TO YOU MAN! fat ppl exist in every space. including sports. Tell us you don't know anything abt how bodies work and cope about it sugar

[dailymedkit]

rainbox phucking chasing medkit down (based off a game i had a long while ago jt was funny)

Day 15

points and laughs Haha look at that phucker run break a leg old man

also wow humanoid medkit wow its been a while