#phoenix-flamed thread 01

[secondflame-archive]

He chokes on his next breath, the sudden weight and warmth of his father's hand on his back catching him off guard. He's still not fully adjusted to getting to have this again, doesn't think he's fully worthy of it either, nor of his father's pride for that matter. Still, he offers a small thanks at the praise, feeling like a boy again, flushed cheeks and all.

"I—" He hesitates, a small almost embarrassed smile tugs at his lips. Indeed, why hadn't he? The answer is maybe a tad more somber than what others who don't know him well might think. There is an edge of sadness to blue eyes now, a slight roughness to his voice when he speaks next, although he quickly tries to hide it away again, clearing his throat. "I didn't want to change anything about it, since it was one of the few things I still had of yours..."

Then, he rolls his shoulders in a display of nerves and feels the leather stretch tight over his back and chest with the action, the doublet gaping slightly at the front, revealing more of his undershirt beneath. He grimaces and then reaches to adjust some of the fastenings. "Though in hindsight, that might not have been the most practical of decisions..."

@secondflame

With an undeniably broad grin, he's slapping his eldest son affectionately on the upper back.

"Why you never stopped to have it tailored more to your build eludes me, my dear boy."

Then a pause, the grin softening into a warm smile. "It suits you. Perhaps even better than it did me."

[firecreated]

beta tags

[cosmicforced]

ＪＥＡＮ ＥＬＡＩＮＥ ＧＲＥＹ

a study in ; FIRE AND FLAMES , chaos incarnate , cosmic forces , the smell of fresh ash , blood soaked hands , inescapable trauma , manipulation , haunted by the past , love as hot as desire, JUST A GIRL.

independent private & selective Jean Grey from the Marvel comics, mixed media cannon focusing on a blend of comics and movies. PRIMARLY DARK PHEONIX VERSE BASED- NSFW + TRIGGERS HEAVILY PRESENT. ( about and cannon differences )

credit to all graphics : x

READ RULES BELOW && THE LINKED ABOUT INFORMATION BEFORE INTERACTION PLEASE !!!

01. Howdy , I'm Astrid 27, Australia, SHE/HER.I HAVE CHRONIC MENTAL ILLNESSES which is a reason my replies can become slow. I am mutuals only for my own sanity and safe space i will only follow back people i intend to become friends with and write with, 02. EXPANDING ON MUTUALS ONLY I will follow whom i see fit to write with my version of Jean and who will mesh well with her and my writing , i want to make friends OOC and write a lot of in-depth threads. I WILL NOT WRITE WITH RACISTS , TRANSPHOBICS , HOMOPHOBICS ;; or any one causing drama or hate in the community 03. i will not be forced to follow someone UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES if you like my posts over and over to try and get my attention after following me then i will hard block you - i don't want to feel forced to interact with people. THAT BEING SAID // Threads with close friends will probably be heavily replied too first as i get most muse for people i have connections with. l follow back people i intend to become friends with and write with, 04. HEAVY TRIGGER CONTENT the basic comic content which I'll be basing a lot of my portrayal is heavily triggering with multiple trigger present, THAT being said i will try to tag everything and if you need something tagged please reach out to me , or feel free to unfollow if its too much for you 07. I PREFER HEAVILY PLOTTED THREADS i love to make long stories with people and delving into character relationships , Sending memes to break the ice is also a good way to pop into threads but i would love to explore a lot of heavy plotted things. if we are mutuals we can always send memes back and forth and have multiple threads i love that !! i love writing on discord also !! 08. AS FOR SHIPPING i ship a lot of things , Since Jean as i write her stands at the age of 25- 30 i will write with a character no younger then 20 i will no be writing her in any other aged verses for shipping. i am comfortable shipping with OCS & CANNON Characters , She is a closeted bisexual She is not easy on trusting people , specially humans and non mutant folk to love and growing an intimate relationship wont happen overnight 09. JEAN IS ONE OF IF NOT THE MOST POWERFUL MUTANT IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE ;; I will not have arguments on this , i will not have other characters face against her and dull her power down in confrontation , if you want to fight her sure go ahead but she's powerful , she can read everyone's mind unless you have some sort of blocking ability even then she might surpass that , I'm not playing her as some sort of god , she has weaknesses she's not unkillable, BUT I WILL NOT play write her as weak specially my main verse is set with her being primarily more 'dark phoenix'

[noahbordeaux]

arsonist’s lullaby || self para

LOCATION: West Balcony

TIME: half past midnight, 1/01/19.

FEATURING: Susannah Glover 

                    Gelid fingertips were threaded through raven locks, slightly nonplussed at the chaos that ensued in mere seconds. Cries for help, screams of agony all filtered through the smog ridden air, and beneath it all was the faint sent of blood that came in tandem with such catastrophic function. Candid of the Bordeaux, his first instinct was to make haste towards the most reasonable exit, enhanced sense aiding in such desired discovery only pausing at the distinguished presence of another behind him. The impression of the other was near rebarbative, an off putting sense colliding over Noah in waves. 

                    A phoenix was as infrequent a sight as any, but that of Susannah Glover was entirely recherche; the phoenix becoming a near myth if you were not in close ranks with her. A certain aura emanated from her, a polarity that extended past her physiological makeup;  a sense of ire ready to snuff out anything that got in the way of her directed and predicted rampage - discernible more so by the weapon clutched in thermal palms. “Don’t look so gleeful to see me,” self righteously glib smirk festered on his expression; a bellicose man, all teeth, a basin of unalloyed truculence. The woman opposite of him would not approach if she were unprepared for the cause, the phoenix standing up straight with a matched grin of her own trickling savagery. 

                     Her body language bloomed into a more threatening presence, igniting such salient rage that rolled off Susannah with a gradual flourish; her presence effortlessly proving to be a thorn in Noah’s side in amalgamation with the stench of blood that swathed them. Noah’s collected countenance eclipsed any incredulity that swarmed him in such moment, always a master of the stage, able to fool even the most practiced of deceit. It was why lips stayed cemented in such unreadable smile, hollow in all it’s mirth. While this was drummed down to a surely laborious confrontation, Noah could twist it into something far more miraculous; easily underestimating the female in front of him, eyes pooling with a medley of feral savagery. All the pieces were coming together, before his very eyes; grin blooming further at the realization of her calculated approach. This was no accident, confidence blooming off the phoenix as she took a commanding step forward, weapon wielding as a means to kill.

                    “If you knew how long I’d waited for this, you’d understand,” Susannah rallied off, voice flooded with composure. She had prepared for this moment, agonizingly and enticingly so for decades; the past year proving to catapult the Ouroboro’s leaps and bounds ahead when it came to their end objective. This was it, the means to a horrifically gleeful end, standing right before her in a ridiculously manufactured suit and tie. All Susannah knew, deep within her heart was that she would not let Noah get away tonight alive. 

                    Noah let out an incredulous bark of a laugh, though his own cerulean’s were long since clouded by a covetous nature, emulating the sudden penchant for disorder. Noah had suffered beneath a savage emptiness for as long as one could recall; to the point where it became a near idiosyncrasy that he could not erase. A famine that Noah felt diminutive under, now plagued with such consequences all the same, forced to meet his maker whenever one felt fit. Despite such harrowing self condemnation that suffocated him for centuries, Noah was overcome with complete repudiation towards Susannah’s expedited wrath. Despite her embellished sangfroid, the phoenix seemed flippantly vengeful; near goading the vampire with ever subtle move or snarky extempore. If she wished to kill Noah, even if it was a fantasy the vampire had longed after for decades to come, she would be helplessly in vain under such incursion. The weapon would be his prize to bear and he would pry it from crisped fingertips if need be; the means to protect his own family inherently palpable. 

                    As if unable to ignore such unsatiated pull to spill Bordeaux blood, Susannah could ignite, porcelain skin morphing into a fire that could near scorch at the sight. The path was effortless as she closed the distance, flames crawling from the phoenix to agonizingly curl up Noah’s arms, her serpentine approach a means to make sure the Bordeaux suffered. Slowly and voraciously bovine in it’s path; the means to scorch every inch of flesh until he could hardly move, until she could, at last, plunge the blade into his non beating heart for him to never return. 

                    There was a contiguous sovereignty; the command of iniquity that licked at the palms of their hands in which they could be equally matched; leastwise in terms of moral culpability as Susannah’s penchant for his death could reach a boiling point. There would be no turning back from this point, a splintered crescendo manifesting within the already haze infested room as the phoenix could ignite; the apotheosis of her power something Noah had woefully underestimated. The flames licked at the fabric of his suit, burning through to mar porcelain forearms, to near melt flesh in their wake. It allowed a pained snarl to fall from the Bordeaux’s lips, uncharacteristically so as the fire ravenously seared through once pluperfect tissue. It was a rare elicitation of such raw emotion that was unheard of from Noah, his own controlled demeanor now shattered beneath the privation of fluid trauma, unable to shed the enhanced breadth of  stinging pain from the recesses of his own mind and flesh. 

                     It was the desire for such pain to subside, that pressed Noah forward in rapid progression, a leonine strength overcoming him under the guise of such agony that he was forced to undergo; burned and melded hands breaching through the fire that overcame the woman to grasp onto her throat. Warping into a monstrous entity beyond his own control, an unseen measure of strength that was different from such savage penchant for blood he was forced to live under. This bout of fervent strength was measured by the means to destroy the weapon within Susannah’s hands, to destroy their advancement as a means to protect those whom he had alienated himself from. While the Bordeaux’s may had been disconnected in more ways than one, most reasoning's being his fault; they were his family and he would not allow them to be exterminated under a vengeful phoenix who blamed all her life’s wrongdoings on the cohabitants of their world.  

                    Palm cinched around her throat, the means to crush vocal cords beneath such pressure; a strike to kill her meager attempt to defeat his family. If her delusional sense of reprisal had caused her to believe she was reading for such sparring act, the phoenix would be woefully disappointed if she lived to tell such tail. The febricity of her flames intensified, causing the original to toss her into whatever infrastructure was left in the West Balcony; his calculated strength proving to be a negative side effect as the ground beneath them seemed to falter more so. The dilapidated building would be no match for whatever fight would prevail, a ragged breath escaping Noah as the flames that once encroached upon his arms died out. The lingering singe still remained but the male pushed through it, not giving Susannah much chance to recover as her flame was snuffed out from the blow.

                    The scent of burnt flesh was prominent in the air, a fetor of decay; Noah pushing through such scathing trauma to approach the phoenix once more. A sickened smile remained on her face, as if there was a secret in which he was yet to ever be aware of, Noah grabbing her once more by nimble tendons of her neckline. Her nails clutched into marred flesh, causing the Bordeaux to grit his teeth under the unprecedented agony she thus inflicted upon him, blood trickling from her mouth as she smiled through her own injuries. She may had approached this wrong, but they would still prevail; the other weapon still undetected as the evening went on within such chaos. “You think we made just one?” her voice crackled out through the pain, a heaved chuckle tumbling from the phoenix’s lips despite the anguish of what was surely noted as a few broken ribs. “Don’t be foolish, No--ah, I thought you were smarter than that.” Her smile grew to a saccharine grin, still attempting to hold up the weapon as if any touch of it to the original would surely do the job. 

                    The ire that overcame the original as she sickeningly prattled on was enough to storm his own viscera into overdrive. The means to find his siblings before Anton, or whoever else they could have dared select to wield the weapon was higher on his list than ever goading the helpless phoenix before him. The look of repugnance on his countenance was evident, even despite the pain that dared make him nauseous, Noah snapping her neck in a final means to conclude what she had started; stowing the weapon into what was left of his coat before attempting to find Lory as soon as possible. 

[secondflame-archive]

I wish that were so, he thinks but doesn't say. Then, he follows easily, still smiling, far more relaxed than he was when the Archduke first entered. It's been a while since they last did this, walking the castle grounds together used to be a regular occurance, but since Clive's duties began to grow in numbers with the years, his free time dwindled into nothingness in turn, adding his father's own duties and time away... Well, there simple hasn't been proper occassion.

By the time they make their way through the gardens and towards the orchard, conversation carrying easily between them, Clive's nerves have finally settled down, but thinking about the evening still serves to put his stomach in knots, the conversation he's had with his mother earlier in the day still echoing in his mind.

Clive's gaze wanders to look at his father. He wonders how many moments like this they would have before he'd be forced to leave. How long does it usually take to be wed? How long til he'd see the castle walls from the outside rather than from the inside?

"I will miss this," he says wistfully, slowing his steps to turn and look up at his home.

The furrow of his father's brow makes him blink, wondering what he has done or said to upset him, only to have his breath shudder out of him in a quiet sigh of relief when his father's hand finds his shoulder. "I pray they don't," he answers honestly, but the corners of his lips quirk upwards, head tilting and shoulders lifting.

"It gives me less opportunity to embarrass myself and by extension you." His gaze flickers off to the side. He'd rather not think of the last time he was forced to dance with one of the other nobles. There had been many a toe stepped on and apparently more than a few social cues missed, leading to a very vexed young lady Clive is unable to meet the eyes of even nowadays.

But when the Duke offers him an out, Clive's previous smile fades once more. Do you not want me there? He almost asks, chest tightening with a near overwhelming ache that has him bite the inside of his cheek. He wouldn't blame him for it. Clive's strengths lay on the battlefield not in the ballroom, but—

His train of thought is cut short and his expression lights up at his father's next words, first in surprise, then in genuine joy that for once even reaches his eyes. "Truly?"

[ivoryandbonerpg-blog]

CHAPTER 01: paper faces on parade

the basics:

                             YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO ATTEND…                                   The Purist Society’s Black and White Ball:                      A Celebration for those of Pure of Heart, Body, and Soul.

The Order of the Phoenix is in dire need of new recruits; to expand their underground empire is to add fuel to the destruction of He Who Must Not Be Named and his villainous army of Death Eaters. As such, some of the senior members of the Order–including Arthur Weasley and Remus Lupin–have joined heads to create an event to be held on neutral soil that will, hopefully, escape Death Eater notice and attention. Hosted in the underbelly of London society, the Order of the Phoenix is holding a masquerade ball to entice new fledgling members of The Order of the Phoenix to attend their recruiting event and join the ranks alongside the famed Boy Who Lived and Co. The masquerade ball is located underneath an abandoned apothecary’s shop, in a large underground basement dwelling space that has been transformed into a ballroom, complete with food, soft music, and glittering lights.

All neutral party members and those who support the Order but haven’t yet joined leagues are expected and encouraged to meet and fraternize with prominent members of the Order of the Phoenix. The hope, ultimately, is that at the end of the night, the Order will have sworn in at least a dozen new members into their ranks.

how to get in:                            

All interested members, who have been sought out by the Order or targeted by them as potential members for their organization, have been delivered magicked Galleon replicas, charmed by Hermione Granger herself, bearing an engraved Order insignia underneath the Galleon’s usual markings. The ball has been designed under the pretense of purity so as to distract Death Eaters and Dark Lord sympathizers from questioning the motives of a social gathering in such times of distress. Anyone interested in attending the ball need only take their coin, turn it three times, and the location of the ball will be revealed to them. Upon arrival, interested parties or existing Order members must use the code name they’ve been given at the door in order to receive admittance. Once inside, and under the guise of masks to protect themselves, Order members and unofficial members alike may fraternize as they see fit.

A warning has been established with all dispensed coins: should anyone given a coin disclose the information or give the coin to any member of He Who Must Not Be Named’s party, the master copy of the coin locked up at Grimmauld Place would burst into flames and melt, alerting the top ranking members of the Order that the event was compromised and needed to be shut down immediately.

the death eaters:  

Unfortunately for the Order, what they hadn’t been counting on was Alexander Barrett and Elvira Blanche stumbling across their plan completely by accident following a raid of a local Muggle-born’s house in Surrey. Through a difficult performance of Legilimency, Alexander Barrett was able to uncover that neutrals and potential Order members would be hosting a social event with an exclusive access key in the form of code names and coins. Using this information to their advantage, the Death Eaters have taken coins from party goers all across England through unsavory means, using Legilimens to reveal all necessary information they needed to infiltrate the Order’s underground recruiting party. As the information was neither told nor given by any of the victims, who were later slaughtered or jailed for potential crimes against the Dark Lord, the Order is thus far unaware that the Death Eaters have wind at all of their party.

As such, the Death Eaters and followers who have been assigned to infiltrate the party are using the cover of the masquerade and the code names and coins they’ve lifted from victims to gain entry into the masquerade ball. Their plan isn’t to attack, but rather to watch and gain information crucial in comprehending how the Order works and how they can best crush them in this war.

dress code:  

Everyone attending the Order’s risque masquerade ball are expected to dress for the occasion. The official theme of the event is a black and white ball, and all attendees are expected to dress in their best formal wear. Players are encouraged to post pictures / collages of their characters’ outfits to help the rest of the group visualize what they will be wearing.

the technicalities:  

Ivory and Bone’s first group event is set to have an estimated two week timeline (from August 18th to September 1st). During this time, the headmistresses ask that any starters or threads created within this timeline revolve strictly around the location and content of the event. We also ask that all members attempt to engage in at least one full length para thread for the event, and shorter threads / convos are, as always, welcome in addition.

Members may also create the code name they’ve created for their character for the event, should they so choose, and post it alongside their costume for other members to see. Last but not least, all starters for the event may be tagged with “iabstarter” and “iabevent”.

If you have any questions, whether in regards to the event or anything else, feel free to contact the headmistresses as you see fit! The point of this event is to have fun and progress the group in an inclusive manner, and we hope to see you all at the masquerade ball!

[junker-town]

The 100 worst NHL jerseys of all time, ranked

The NHL is asking fans to rank the best of the best, so we’re here to rank the worst of the worst.

The NHL continued its 100th anniversary celebration Tuesday by unveiling a website that allows fans to vote on the top 100 jerseys in league history. The final results won’t be announced for more than a month, but there’s a leaderboard running to cover which teams are leading up until the end of voting on Dec. 31.

As of writing, the Hartford Whalers’ 1979-92 jerseys are atop the fan rankings, ahead of jerseys from teams like the Chicago Blackhawks, Buffalo Sabres, Quebec Nordiques, and Minnesota North Stars. Clearly, lots of hockey fans miss clubs that are no longer part of the NHL.

Despite that fantastic lineage of sweet sweaters and fresh threads, not every hockey jersey has been a winner, though. Some of them, in fact, could be considered aesthetic travesties meant to confound both the brain and the soul. Sometimes it seems like the sweater designers were just trying to test whether fans would have the appropriate response to such hideousness, like when a doctor hits your knee with that tiny hammer to make sure your reflexes still function.

But those works of art still deserve to be celebrated as they are, in the same way we celebrate some person claiming a toilet is a powerfully emotional exhibit at the MOMA.

So without further adieu, here are the 100 worst sweaters in NHL history. Feel free to get very upset at us about this wholly subjective list.

1. Montreal Canadiens throwbacks, 2009

These jerseys were only worn once on Feb. 1, 2009 against the Bruins before the plug was pulled. That was for the best because these are the worst threads worn by an NHL team ever. Seriously just look at them. Or, well, don’t.

2. Los Angeles Kings alternates, 1995-96

Also known as the Burger King sweaters because for some reason Los Angeles decided to update its logo to resemble that creepy monarch who loved sneaking around giving people cheeseburgers.

3. New York Islanders alternates, 1995-97

Ah yes, the fisherman jerseys. I don’t really have anything else to add here.

4. Dallas Stars alternates, 2003-06

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

The “Mooterus” jerseys were supposed to resemble the constellation Taurus, as you can tell from the stars inside the logo, but in the end it just looks like, well, the head of a cow laid over the outline of a uterus. Shockingly people didn’t love that.

5. Anaheim Ducks, 2006-10

Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images

How do you go from purple and teal to whatever this color combination is? Not everything needs to be dark and gritty. This isn’t the DC Cinematic Universe, y’all.

6. Boston Bruins alternates, 1995-2006

A Bruin is a bear, and the hockey team from Boston wanted to make sure we never forgot that. So what do we get? A weird bear with shining white eyes staring daggers into your soul and a weirdly content half-smile on top of a yellowish background. Go Bruins!

7. Tampa Bay Lightning alternates, 1996-99

Listen, Lightning, I know you needed to try to garner attention as an expansion team in Florida, but this was a bit much. Lightning bolts on the sleeves, a wavy ocean on the front, a massive All-Star Game patch, and those random grey lines filling the open space ... it’s just a lot. Too much.

8. Vancouver Canucks, 1979-85

Well, you can’t say they didn’t try.

9. Ottawa Senators alternates, 2008-11

Photo by Phillip MacCallum/Getty Images

Nobody will ever forget the team’s name this way!

10. Atlanta Thrashers, 2003-11

Photo by Scott Cunningham/Getty Images

I’m not saying better jerseys might’ve saved hockey in Atlanta, but these probably did not help.

The rest of the worst

11. 2015 NHL All-Star Game

12. Buffalo Sabres alternates, 2013-14

13. Calgary Flames alternates, 1998-06

14. Nashville Predators alternates, 2001-07

15. Anaheim Ducks, 2017-present

16. Edmonton Oilers alternates, 2001-07

17. Carolina Hurricanes alternates, 2013-17

18. Vancouver Canucks throwbacks, 2014 Heritage Classic

19. Florida Panthers, 2013-16

20. Chicago Blackhawks, 1937-55

21. Colorado Avalanche alternates, 2001-07

22. Columbus Blue Jackets alternates, 2003-07

23. Nashville Predators, 1998-2001

24. Vancouver Canucks alternates, 2001-06

25. Detroit Falcons, 1930-32

26. New Jersey Devils, 1982-92

27. Buffalo Sabres, 1996-2006

28. Atlanta Thrashers alternates, 2008-11

29. Phoenix Coyotes alternates, 1998-2003

30. Detroit Falcons, 1930-32

31. Minnesota Wild alternates, 2013-17

32. Ottawa Senators, 1917-31

33. New York Islanders alternates, 2002-07

34. 2000-01 NHL All-Star Games

35. Pittsburgh Pirates, 1928-29

36. St. Louis Blues roads/alternates, 1995-98

37. Vancouver Canucks, 1985-89

38. Nashville Predators, 2017-present

39. Anaheim Ducks alternates, 2015-17

40. New York Rangers alternates, 1996-2007

41. Toronto Maple Leafs, 1927

42. Calgary Flames, 2011 Heritage Classic

43. Vancouver Canucks, 1989-97

44. St. Louis Eagles, 1934-35

45. Dallas Stars, 1999-2007

46. Mighty Ducks of Anaheim alternates, 1995-96

47. Columbus Blue Jackets, 2017-present

48. New York Islanders alternates, 2011-14

49. Atlanta Thrashers, 1998-2003

50. Ottawa Senators alternates, 1997-99

51. Washington Capitals, 1995-2007

52. Montreal Maroons, 1924-38

53. Florida Panthers, 1998-2003

54. Columbus Blue Jackets, 2000-01

55. Dallas Stars, 2007-13

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

56. Los Angeles Kings, 1998-2008

57. Ottawa Senators, 2017-present

58. New York Islanders alternates, 1996-98

59. Kansas City Scouts, 1974-76

60. Pittsburgh Penguins, 2002-07

61. Phoenix Coyotes alternates, 2008-14

62. Chicago Blackhawks alternates, 2009-11

63. Florida Panthers alternates, 2009-12

64. Phoenix Coyotes, 1996-98

65. 2009 NHL All-Star Game

66. Cleveland Barons, 1976-77

67. Los Angeles Kings, 1967-88

68. Montreal Canadiens blue throwbacks, 2009

69. Nashville Predators, 2007-11

70. Minnesota Wild, 2007-09

71. California Golden Seals, 1967-70

72. Dallas Stars, 2017-present

73. Pittsburgh Penguins, 1967-68

74. Philadelphia Flyers, 2002-08

75. San Jose Sharks, 2001-07

76. Boston Bruins, 1925-32

77. Buffalo Sabres, 2006-10

78. Colorado Rockies, 1976-82

79. Ottawa Senators alternates, 2000-07

80. Tampa Bay Lightning alternates, 2008-14

81. Minnesota North Stars, 1991-93

82. Carolina Hurricanes, 2007-08

83. Mighty Ducks of Anaheim alternates, 2003-06

84. Columbus Blue Jackets alternates, 2003-07

85. 1982 NHL All-Star Game

86. Atlanta Flames, 1972-80

87. Calgary Flames alternate, 2013-16

88. Chicago Blackhawks, 1935-37

89. Detroit Red Wings, 2016 Stadium Series

90. Edmonton Oilers, 2017-present

91. New York Islanders, 1996-98

92. Ottawa Senators alternates, 2011-17

93. Pittsburgh Penguins alternates, 2011-13

94. St. Louis Blues alternates, 2008-16

95. San Jose Sharks, 1991-97

96. Tampa Bay Lightning, 2017-present

97. California Golden Seals, 1974-76

98. Winnipeg Jets, 2017-18

99. Boston Bruins, 1940-44

100. St. Louis Blues, proposed but never used

Okay, yeah, this one is so bad that it’s good.

[junker-town]

The 100 worst NHL jerseys of all time, ranked

The NHL is asking fans to rank the best of the best, so we’re here to rank the worst of the worst.

The NHL continued its 100th anniversary celebration Tuesday by unveiling a website that allows fans to vote on the top 100 jerseys in league history. The final results won’t be announced for more than a month, but there’s a leaderboard running to cover which teams are leading up until the end of voting on Dec. 31.

As of writing, the Hartford Whalers’ 1979-92 jerseys are atop the fan rankings, ahead of jerseys from teams like the Chicago Blackhawks, Buffalo Sabres, Quebec Nordiques, and Minnesota North Stars. Clearly, lots of hockey fans miss clubs that are no longer part of the NHL.

Despite that fantastic lineage of sweet sweaters and fresh threads, not every hockey jersey has been a winner, though. Some of them, in fact, could be considered aesthetic travesties meant to confound both the brain and the soul. Sometimes it seems like the sweater designers were just trying to test whether fans would have the appropriate response to such hideousness, like when a doctor hits your knee with that tiny hammer to make sure your reflexes still function.

But those works of art still deserve to be celebrated as they are, in the same way we celebrate some person claiming a toilet is a powerfully emotional exhibit at the MOMA.

So without further adieu, here are the 100 worst sweaters in NHL history. Feel free to get very upset at us about this wholly subjective list.

1. Montreal Canadiens throwbacks, 2009

These jerseys were only worn once on Feb. 1, 2009 against the Bruins before the plug was pulled. That was for the best because these are the worst threads worn by an NHL team ever. Seriously just look at them. Or, well, don’t.

2. Los Angeles Kings alternates, 1995-96

Also known as the Burger King sweaters because for some reason Los Angeles decided to update its logo to resemble that creepy monarch who loved sneaking around giving people cheeseburgers.

3. New York Islanders alternates, 1995-97

Ah yes, the fisherman jerseys. I don’t really have anything else to add here.

4. Dallas Stars alternates, 2003-06

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

The “Mooterus” jerseys were supposed to resemble the constellation Taurus, as you can tell from the stars inside the logo, but in the end it just looks like, well, the head of a cow laid over the outline of a uterus. Shockingly people didn’t love that.

5. Anaheim Ducks, 2006-10

Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images

How do you go from purple and teal to whatever this color combination is? Not everything needs to be dark and gritty. This isn’t the DC Cinematic Universe, y’all.

6. Boston Bruins alternates, 1995-2006

A Bruin is a bear, and the hockey team from Boston wanted to make sure we never forgot that. So what do we get? A weird bear with shining white eyes staring daggers into your soul and a weirdly content half-smile on top of a yellowish background. Go Bruins!

7. Tampa Bay Lightning alternates, 1996-99

Listen, Lightning, I know you needed to try to garner attention as an expansion team in Florida, but this was a bit much. Lightning bolts on the sleeves, a wavy ocean on the front, a massive All-Star Game patch, and those random grey lines filling the open space ... it’s just a lot. Too much.

8. Vancouver Canucks, 1979-85

Well, you can’t say they didn’t try.

9. Ottawa Senators alternates, 2008-11

Photo by Phillip MacCallum/Getty Images

Nobody will ever forget the team’s name this way!

10. Atlanta Thrashers, 2003-11

Photo by Scott Cunningham/Getty Images

I’m not saying better jerseys might’ve saved hockey in Atlanta, but these probably did not help.

The rest of the worst

11. 2015 NHL All-Star Game

12. Buffalo Sabres alternates, 2013-14

13. Calgary Flames alternates, 1998-06

14. Nashville Predators alternates, 2001-07

15. Anaheim Ducks, 2017-present

16. Edmonton Oilers alternates, 2001-07

17. Carolina Hurricanes alternates, 2013-17

18. Vancouver Canucks throwbacks, 2014 Heritage Classic

19. Florida Panthers, 2013-16

20. Chicago Blackhawks, 1937-55

21. Colorado Avalanche alternates, 2001-07

22. Columbus Blue Jackets alternates, 2003-07

23. Nashville Predators, 1998-2001

24. Vancouver Canucks alternates, 2001-06

25. Detroit Falcons, 1930-32

26. New Jersey Devils, 1982-92

27. Buffalo Sabres, 1996-2006

28. Atlanta Thrashers alternates, 2008-11

29. Phoenix Coyotes alternates, 1998-2003

30. Detroit Falcons, 1930-32

31. Minnesota Wild alternates, 2013-17

32. Ottawa Senators, 1917-31

33. New York Islanders alternates, 2002-07

34. 2000-01 NHL All-Star Games

35. Pittsburgh Pirates, 1928-29

36. St. Louis Blues roads/alternates, 1995-98

37. Vancouver Canucks, 1985-89

38. Nashville Predators, 2017-present

39. Anaheim Ducks alternates, 2015-17

40. New York Rangers alternates, 1996-2007

41. Toronto Maple Leafs, 1927

42. Calgary Flames, 2011 Heritage Classic

43. Vancouver Canucks, 1989-97

44. St. Louis Eagles, 1934-35

45. Dallas Stars, 1999-2007

46. Mighty Ducks of Anaheim alternates, 1995-96

47. Columbus Blue Jackets, 2017-present

48. New York Islanders alternates, 2011-14

49. Atlanta Thrashers, 1998-2003

50. Ottawa Senators alternates, 1997-99

51. Washington Capitals, 1995-2007

52. Montreal Maroons, 1924-38

53. Florida Panthers, 1998-2003

54. Columbus Blue Jackets, 2000-01

55. Dallas Stars, 2007-13

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

56. Los Angeles Kings, 1998-2008

57. Ottawa Senators, 2017-present

58. New York Islanders alternates, 1996-98

59. Kansas City Scouts, 1974-76

60. Pittsburgh Penguins, 2002-07

61. Phoenix Coyotes alternates, 2008-14

62. Chicago Blackhawks alternates, 2009-11

63. Florida Panthers alternates, 2009-12

64. Phoenix Coyotes, 1996-98

65. 2009 NHL All-Star Game

66. Cleveland Barons, 1976-77

67. Los Angeles Kings, 1967-88

68. Montreal Canadiens blue throwbacks, 2009

69. Nashville Predators, 2007-11

70. Minnesota Wild, 2007-09

71. California Golden Seals, 1967-70

72. Dallas Stars, 2017-present

73. Pittsburgh Penguins, 1967-68

74. Philadelphia Flyers, 2002-08

75. San Jose Sharks, 2001-07

76. Boston Bruins, 1925-32

77. Buffalo Sabres, 2006-10

78. Colorado Rockies, 1976-82

79. Ottawa Senators alternates, 2000-07

80. Tampa Bay Lightning alternates, 2008-14

81. Minnesota North Stars, 1991-93

82. Carolina Hurricanes, 2007-08

83. Mighty Ducks of Anaheim alternates, 2003-06

84. Columbus Blue Jackets alternates, 2003-07

85. 1982 NHL All-Star Game

86. Atlanta Flames, 1972-80

87. Calgary Flames alternate, 2013-16

88. Chicago Blackhawks, 1935-37

89. Detroit Red Wings, 2016 Stadium Series

90. Edmonton Oilers, 2017-present

91. New York Islanders, 1996-98

92. Ottawa Senators alternates, 2011-17

93. Pittsburgh Penguins alternates, 2011-13

94. St. Louis Blues alternates, 2008-16

95. San Jose Sharks, 1991-97

96. Tampa Bay Lightning, 2017-present

97. California Golden Seals, 1974-76

98. Winnipeg Jets, 2017-18

99. Boston Bruins, 1940-44

100. St. Louis Blues, proposed but never used

Okay, yeah, this one is so bad that it’s good.

[secondflame-archive]

Still fiddling with the fastenings of his father's his armor, Clive doesn't realize the shift in his father's mood until he looks up again and finds him looking at him first misty-eyed and then with tears painting his cheeks.

His own eyes widen, the young man raking his brain for what he could have said or done to upset him so. "Father—" His own throat tightens with emotion at the display, an apology on the tip of his tongue, an incline of his head already starting, eyes averting. There had been very few occassions throughout his youth during which he saw his father cry and it always found him helpless, to think he's the reason now—

Then his head snaps up just as quick when his father speaks with that same warmth yet with a teasing lilt to his words. Clive watches as he brushes the last of the tears away, the smile on his face still genuine and warm, if a smidge teasing.

Clive tilts his head, confusion overshadowing previous concern and conflicting feelings. He looks down at himself, then back up at his father.

"...I'm not sure I follow?"

He chokes on his next breath, the sudden weight and warmth of his father's hand on his back catching him off guard. He's still not fully adjusted to getting to have this again, doesn't think he's fully worthy of it either, nor of his father's pride for that matter. Still, he offers a small thanks at the praise, feeling like a boy again, flushed cheeks and all.

"I—" He hesitates, a small almost embarrassed smile tugs at his lips. Indeed, why hadn't he? The answer is maybe a tad more somber than what others who don't know him well might think. There is an edge of sadness to blue eyes now, a slight roughness to his voice when he speaks next, although he quickly tries to hide it away again, clearing his throat. "I didn't want to change anything about it, since it was one of the few things I still had of yours..."

Then, he rolls his shoulders in a display of nerves and feels the leather stretch tight over his back and chest with the action, the doublet gaping slightly at the front, revealing more of his undershirt beneath. He grimaces and then reaches to adjust some of the fastenings. "Though in hindsight, that might not have been the most practical of decisions..."

[secondflame-archive]

That at the very least has Clive breathe out on an easier exhale. His father's presence turning from concerning to comforting within the blink of an eye. His shoulders round, hands lowering to his sides, fingers still working.

"Thank you," he says quietly, watching his father's steady hands work to fasten the lacing once he reaches the top part. He turns to look at himself in the mirror after, fingers curling around the bottom hem of his doublet to adjust it again. Blue eyes dart to different parts of his appearance. Despite his and the servants' best efforts his hair is still a mess, his face flushed. He's nervous about this evening and next to his father's calm demeanor and regal appearance he feels entirely out of place.

They don't have much in common Clive thinks with no small amount of shame, aside from outward appearance, but even their dark hair differs in texture so much Clive can't help but be reminded of the rumours speaking of how he might not be his parents' son at all. An impostor.

He certainly feels like it right now.

Clive turns away from the mirror and forces himself to find his father's gaze to not appear disrespectful. "Is there something you require of me?"

masquerade ball starter for @phoenix-flamed

"Father!" He exclaims, spotting the Archduke in the mirror's reflection, standing in the doorway to Clive's chambers.

Clive turns with his fingers still tangled in the intricate lacing of his doublet, having struggled with his attire for the past hour or so, not wanting to bother any of the servants when he knows his mother has all of them run errands upon errands for the festivities.

"I am late, aren't I?" His gaze flickers downward, not quite able to meet his father's eyes in light of his tardiness. It must be bad if the Archduke himself found the need to seek him out. Clive thought he set aside ample time to get dressed, but somewhere along the way it must still have gotten away from him.

It admittedly doesn't help that he doesn't want to go to the ball in the first place.