#pfh edits

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire Deleted Scenes: Part 13

Amount Deleted: 8k? thereabouts (1 half-formed chapter + 1/3rd of the following chapter, + most of another chapter which'll probably get added back in but was in the wrong spot and I haven't determined if there's a right spot yet)

Reason for Deleting: the deleted chapter could be condensed into a few paragraphs and the information, overall, completely redistributed and better integrated into the story. The third of the following chapter was then covered by the newly integrated stuff. That following chapter also received major rearrangement due to the focus being completely scattered.

Ways to fix: cut and paste, cut and paste, delete. Really: determine scene-level focus, then chapter-level focus, restructure this storyline's mini-arc (to include rearranging chapters), and combine/condense to keep the plot moving.

Excerpt length: 487

Context: Kiris needs to eliminate one of Prince Thaav's enemies, and thinks sending Iiriok at him is the best way about it (he's not wrong...)

Taglist (please let me know if you'd like to be added/removed!): @whimsyqueen @on-noon @houndsofcorduff @stuffaboutwriting @shrunkupthejams

“Nelovskevouk,” Kiris said, loud enough he was sure ni Musyr could overhear. Verosa refilled his tea. A different type, this time: lavender. “What would you do if you discovered a prince had sinned?”

Nelovskevouk nearly choked on his next sip of coffee. He hid it by clearing his throat—which is to say, not at all—and by taking another large sip to clear the crud. His brow slowly rose.

Innocently, Kiris rolled his mug between his palms. Ni Musyr glowered at them. At him.

“Why do you ask?” Nelovskevouk eventually said, when Kiris wasn’t forthcoming with more information, too preoccupied with not making eye contact with ni Musyr. It was all consuming. Whatever he’d done to piss her off—or whatever Nazvili had done—he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know. “Yphant?”

“Answer him, vakon,” ni Musyr ordered.

Kiris wished he couldn’t feel the blood draining from his face. The collective of princes was easier to face than her. Even the inquisitors—at least he knew why they hated him. “I… may or may not have overheard another prince—” it was like being ground by a glacier—“doing things?”

“Really?” Her eyes narrowed, and she leant forwards, and Kiris, again, leant back. Not so far that he tilted over his chair this time. “What sorts of things?”

This wasn’t his plan. Her involvement was not in his plans, except as witness. Nelovskevouk’s, yes. Let him eliminate Tevez for a prince’s sin. He was reliable, Kiris and Nelovskevouk’s younger sister, Kuthri, the only exceptions Kiris knew of. But ni Musyr? He didn’t know her. He didn’t know what she would do.

It was almost thrilling.

“Desiccation,” Kiris lied.

Nelovskevouk spun in his seat, and Kiris found himself quite suddenly bearing the brunt of the entirety of his attention. He had lovely eyes. This was already turning into a very tiring day.

“Who?” Nelovskevouk demanded.

For some reason, Kiris didn’t particularly want to look away from him. Ni Musyr was like being ground down, pummeled and pulverized, an unrelenting pressure. Nelovskevouk… wasn’t.

Prince Thaav would die soon.

Kiris glanced at Tevez.

“One of Prince Thaav’s enemies,” ni Musyr said. Smiled. “One of your allies, Pretty Boy. Curious.”

Nelovskevouk ignored her. He leant into Kiris’ space, and Kiris resisted the urge to pull away, too many people, too close to his space, easy to grab, this was fine, it’d be fine—

“You’re certain?” Nelovskevouk whispered. “First Prince Tevez has never been anything but decent and wise, in all the years I’ve known him. Did you… did you mishear?”

He smelled like flowers. Soaps, not the sharp scent of perfume. Sweat, too: those two weeks Kiris had spent in the Dargoulvga palace, helping Nelovskevouk with Kuthri, every morning he’d practiced on the training grounds; perhaps it did the same here. Weapons—yes—but sometimes, dance.

Iiriok Nelovskevouk was an excellent dancer.

“I know what I heard,” Kiris whispered.

[pfhwrittes]

ahem. sliding you a little snippet of a simon riley x reader something under the cut.

“y’good?” simon grunts out, clearly holding himself back from sliding into you. 

you manage to hiss out a prolonged yes through your teeth as simon rocks his hips forward in a controlled thrust, the movement causing his car to roll on its suspension again. you’re practically delirious from where you’re split open on his cock, the warm muggy air inside the car making your head spin.

you’re completely surrounded by simon. the bulk of his cotton covered chest blocking your vision of the interior of the car with one of his thick forearms propping himself up so he doesn’t crush you under his weight. the thought of being smothered by him makes you clench down and his slow thrusts stutter to a stop. 

“don’t - don’t fuckin’ do that. y’gonna make me come if you keep that up.” he rumbles from above you sounding pained between heaving breaths that fog up the windows even further.

[sayakxmi]

Your name is Feferi Peixes, and you’re not very --EXCIT--ED aboat the current turn of events.

Edit of: https://youtu.be/Ny7Zm1WkxFY?t=159 from Vast Error

[sunflowerwizard]

I do really hope the overhaul of Wyll as a companion alluded to in the Panel from Hell is more about his storyline/the ways in which the MC can inform his actions and not like... A complete change to the core of his character.

I'm gonna keep an open mind, since at the end of the day this is Larian's story to tell, not mine. I wouldn't be upset if they play up some of that conflict and darkness Wyll has going on. But I also hope they keep his softness, you know? When he tells a Drow or Githyanki MC they're not scary, or how he wants the Tiefling refugee kids to have a normal childhood.

The really cute dance scene in the trailer is my glimmer of hope because that looked sweet as hell 😭

EDIT:

Judging from the new description on the BG3 website, I'm pretty sure his conflict with Karlach is a result of his pact. Which ideally means that if you're encouraging Wyll to break free from Mizora (which he seems to want and I plan on pursuing) you can also convince him to spare Karlach. Especially since the PFH mentioned the two of them can become friends down the line.

[utopianoverlord]

Hey ya, a heads up, there are spoilers for Act 1 and 2 of Baldur’s Gate 3 circulating post-PFH. I’ll begin tagging non-Early Access content (info, art, edits, etc.) with the tag #BG3 spoilers going forward, until probably the end of October/November.  With the launch a few weeks away, now’s a good time to block that tag or unfollow.

[lovepeacestar]

My Trolls AU

Perfect Family Harmony

An extension of music magic is the fabled “Perfect Family Harmony”, which is basically regular music magic but dialed up to 100,000. Among its fabled powers are control over even unwilling participants (potentially even after the song is done), shattering the hardest known substances (from diamonds to castle walls to iron bars), and cheating death (at least for those who have almost/recently died). Trolls had some kind of supernatural force that let their combined voices become strong and powerful. No matter what kind of music it is, the supercharged music went from both ends, one lively and positive, the other evil and negative.

The perfect family harmony was something so many trolls have strived for. It is seen as the ultimate accomplishment in a troll's life; an accomplishment that only a few have ever achieved in the entire history of Trolls, but that history hides a very important detail…it was meant as a weapon. When a group of people with a familial bond, perform, they are engrossed in the music, in the excitement of dancing with the family; they give off a soft golden/rainbow glow beginning to pulse around them to the beat of the music.

When activated, the Perfect Family Harmony has the potential to unleash an immense amount of magical/musical energy. It can be used to power an ancient superweapon known as the PFH Pulse, which can conquer entire planets and bring them under control. This power is so great that it can reshape the very fabric of reality. While the Perfect Family Harmony might be spoken about a bit differently between tribes, it’s the same no matter who pulls it off. It can shatter diamonds, but it can also be used as a sort of serenade for the users to help calm their people’s hearts and souls. Some say that if the right trolls perform it around the string they represent, something is supposed to happen. As for who those trolls are, it’s been said to be at least partially the ones the strings themselves chose; ones who can really resonate with their music.

There’re debates on this for those of different tribes in the know. Some say the strings will send a shockwave of color and life. Others claim that those specific trolls being able to pull that off will either mark an end for the strings or save the world.

It's the feeling of warmth, as the light glows brighter. Every creature in the vicinity will feel it. A warm rippling of energy. It had erupted from the center of the trolls and carried itself outward for miles, spreading across the Earth. Each major genre has its perfect family harmony, other than being a powerful phenomenon with the power to destroy even the purest of diamonds, castle walls, and iron bars/it has potent healing power, and these harmonies can influence the world around them. Of course, each genre has its own set of influences.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10Mce5RJEUbu_c-s6LUZvfaTabLSMor92_488Ilb3lxc/edit

[pfhwrittes]

I WAS SUMMONED BY MENTIONS OF THE MUMMY!

(psst check out my that mummy au tag and pfh wips for snippets)

for your consideration: price as rick o’connell, soap as jonathan, farah, simon and alex as members of the medjai who have to deal with the End of The World, and graves as beni.

aaand yes, that exchange does appear in my fic!

EDIT TO ADD: obviously i don’t have the rights to cod or the mummy and i would be THRILLED beyond belief to read everyone’s take on a mummy/cod crossover

I have not stopped grinning! These tags are life!

Darling, your place or mine?

Your place, then my place, and everywhere in between babe. We should have a big wedding and also elope to every country.

First Call of the Jurassic, and now this GEM??? My brain is being entirely rewired. New connections are being made, new synapses are firing. When did I stop imagining crossovers? I don't know, but I am falling back in love as I type this.

...oh no, The Mummy.

[ta28walker]

Did I really just removed three scenes from my script and replace them with smaller moments to add to the tension between to characters? Yes, I fucking did and I regret every moment in it. 

Hopefully, changes will add to the change my MC plans and the big reveal at the end. 

[neixins]

pspsps the english editions of golden stage are up for preorder on pfh’s website!! <3

vol 1 / vol 2 / limited edition box set

the box set is available for purchase just on their website and preorders for it are open until aug 19, and the regular editions will be available from other retailers (probs more convenient/cheaper if ur not in the us) around/on release day btw

[aohendo]

Happy Blorbsday! (to be answered anytime on any day because every day is blorbsday)

How have you been? I have been missing you and dear Kiris on my dash.

What kind of horrors has he been facing lately? Please feel free to go off about any OC thoughts that have been plaguing you or any trauma you have been inflicting on our favorite sad boy.

Happy Blorbsday!!

Life is certainly life 😅 Good and busy and nothing bad, just a lot. Expecting to get even busier over the next few months, too, so that's gonna be.... fun.

(It will be it's just I also like sleep).

Kiris, oh Kiris. This poor guy.

About two weeks ago, went back and blocked out all my ideas on how to fix Prince's plot: there's a few scenes to add, a few to rearrange, and a handful to cut, but Disney princess necromancy has solved all the issues! Into the fourth draft of it, now, which after a SPAG pass will be the version I send out to a first round of beta readers. My guesstimate is I'll be searching for people for that starting mid-late July!

The current horror Kiris facing today is *gasp* tea with 'L Tuola the empress. Doesn't sound terrible on the surface, but there's casually another prince being eaten by a hawk in the background, Ta Ritasa the advisor is being generally creepy, and 'L Tuola makes it very clear what she'll do to find the Prophet (who may or may not be trying to casually sip his tea (which also isn't really tea and Kiris hates it) across from her) and that she knows about Kiris' magic. Also some more set up stuff for the 'L Tuola/necromancy plot line, which Kiris is beginning to steadily really not appreciate even though he's pretty sure said necromancy is the only way to save his mentor from... one of his own prophecies.

In the span of the next two chapters after this, poor guy's gonna have two separate murder attempts on him and he's going to fail to save his mentor--the only person who's ever really cared about him. Shortly thereafter, Ta Ritasa begins finding ways to force magic from Kiris (guy's about to get wrung like a sponge 😬), a principality gets destroyed (and it's mostly Kiris' fault), and we begin the 'there's a fraud among us!' plotline. Not to mention the Turre getting even creepier, or Duvutriok coming around with various princes' heads, or all Batar's blackmail, or Iiriok trying to be friendly and compassionate (but clearly, obviously, he must have some further angle to it...)

Kiris just wants to hide under his bed. I'm really just hitting him with a baseball bat at this point, poor dude. Does not deserve this treatment.

I promise, these are all necessary steps in getting him his hug, though!

The goal for this draft is no more than 110k. That should be a fairly easy 10k to shave off during line edits, and 100k is a really nice spot for fantasy right about now. If I really had to in those future line edits I could probably get it even shorter (looking at Reverberate, which I somehow knocked from 123k down to 111k, but I genuinely don't know how), but I don't want to. Once I get to the halfway mark in about 2.5 chapters, I'm gonna go ahead and rewrite the tentative query letter for this thing--I've learned my lesson from Reverberate: it's much easier to do the query letter before the final draft, so that'll be a nice pause to get my thoughts in order.

How's everything with you? Haven't been around much lately (which is a shame, because I do miss popping in and seeing where everyone else is at with their projects and OCs. Gotta get back on that...)

[pfhwrittes]

okay this has sat in my drafts long enough so i'm posting it so i don't have to think about it any more.

everyone talks about how simon would be the biggest mama’s boy if his mum was still alive but what about captain john price?

captain john price who sets his mum up in a lovely little two bedroom accessible bungalow with a beautiful back garden and a well tended rose bush on the front lawn. 

captain john price who doesn’t dare swear in front of his mum because he remembers the clip round the ear he got at eighteen when he called one of his mates a fucking moron in her hearing. 

in that similar vein, captain john price who wouldn’t dare smoke in front of his mum. in fact on the days he drives over to her house he doesn’t touch a cigar, cigarette or vape once. admittedly he does have nicotine patches (yes plural) high up on his upper arm hidden from her shrewd gaze under the polo shirt she bought him for christmas last year. 

captain john price who is only ever called jonathan by his mum. or when he’s in the deepest of shit, jonathan andrew in a tone that he’s sure would cause even makarov to stop and reconsider his next course of action. 

captain john price who buys his mum flowers for every occasion. pink tulips for mothering sunday, yellow roses for her birthday, daffodils for easter, blue stars and forget-me-nots on the day of her wedding anniversary to his late father, sunflowers for his birthday, poinsettias at christmas. 

captain john price who takes his mum out to cafés or garden centres on sunday afternoons. captain john price who does any little job she mentions in passing. his dear ol’ mum mentions that the lawn needs mowing? on it. that the lightbulb in the hallway has gone out? on it. that the front door could do with a little spruce up? on it. 

captain john price who loves his mum.

[sayakxmi]

Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR, and you don’t like where things are going.

[emuuanne]

^reposted and edited^ Have some Fleur pone I hope you like it (・ω・) (Thank you, @pfh-mod !)

[dracereads]

do you plan on getting a copy of the misprinted little mushroom then?

Probably not, no! I still have my physical edition pre-ordered whenever PFH decides to release those. But I have no plans on picking up the censored version of little mushroom! I did get the e-book and read it though. I'll be writing a review when I get my physical next year.

[elaera23]

The Gods Reactions to the Department Pictures

This are the reactions of the gods, after my editing of their Department Pictures (Original Post) ... and a heartfelt thanks to @vega-in-wonderland for her inputs 😘😘

[The gods looking at the new pictures] Taxolouve: Yes, this looks definitely better little lady – good job!

Karno: I agree! But I’m still smiling so strangely, no idea what I was thinking back there…

Partheno: I will be considerate and won’t mention a certain ministers’ name.

Karno: *blushes* I-It’s not like t-that…

--

Leon: How dare you to make me smaller goldfish!

Huedhaut: *chuckles* Sorry Leon, but it’s a fact that I’m way taller than you - at least concerning my physical appearance; I’m no match for the size of your ego.

Leon: Pfh, there are more important things than body height.

Zyglavis: *smirks and looks down at Leon* It didn’t sound like that just a few seconds ago.

Leon: Shut up Minister Ponytail, as if I needed a stupid picture as a proof for my greatness! [brusquely turns around and walks away]

Huedhaut: *sighs* His ego is way too big for his body…

Leon: [shouting from the other side of the room] I can still hear you Hue!

--

Ichthys: Ahhh nice! She made us darker, don’t you think I even look a little shady now?

Scorpio: Tch, as if you would ever look shady wearing that stupid outfit.

Ichthys: ____! Scorpio is being mean again! *runs over to me*

Me: Wow, Ikky! Please don’t drag me into your problems with Scorpio!

Me: ... But to be honest, you could never look shady…

Scorpio: Look at that, the woman isn’t as stupid as I thought. See, problem child, even she agrees with me *smirks*

Me: Oh, I’m sure that’s the reason why the great Vice-Minister of Punishments always catches the so called “stupid fish” after one of his pranks?

Scorpio: [glares at me and walks away without another word]

Me: [whispering into Ikkys’ ear] You owe me something.

Ichthys: [still laughing] Eeeeverything _____ , everything...

Me: Be careful what you offer me *smirks at Ichtys*

[notesz-b]

now i'm rewatching that show "The Office" and finding scenes that Macon, Death, and Strife would fit into lmao

PFH Let me know if you do. lolFor D Charles Miner popped into mind immediately.edit: And for Strife the Deangelo guy lol_