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esotericbluntbaby · 2 months ago

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compensation

hamzahthefantastic x reader

description: going against your wishes, your boyfriend decides to fight another match after spraining his wrist the last time he boxed. injured, he returns home to his girlfriend, who can't help but feel more than just "angry."

mentions: boxer!hamzah, bf!hamzah, angsttt, female reader, sub! hamzah, blood, bruises, nsfw!

GUYS IM SORRY I FORGOT TO POST THIS PLS DONT KILL ME

this was the first time that hamzah kept you in the dark, betraying your trust in him.

he was always a strong-willed, passionate boy; in fact, it was one of the things you found attractive in him. he kickstarted his youtube with his resilience and determination. giving up was simply not an option for him; one way or another, plan after plan, he'd get his goal even if it meant he had to cut off his limbs and sell them. if hamzah wanted something, he would get it, similar to a horse kicking whenever it's being restrained. though, normally, he knew when to stop pushing, especially when the cost was more than the benefit.

the last time hamzah boxed, his wrist fractured like a 6 year old cracks a wishbone. you, obviously, knew that getting hurt was apart of his hobby; you didn't like it, but you accepted that it was inevitable for some part of him to be banged up and broken. he allowed you to stay in the hospital with him during the time he was getting monitored, meaning that you were allowed to hear the doctor tell him that he had to wait 6 weeks to box again.

during the hospital visit, hamzah realized he had a match in exactly 5 weeks. you argued with him, telling him that there would be no way in hell that he'd be able to box until his wrist is fixed. of course, being as stubborn as a mule, hamzah argued back that he had to fight if his life depended on it. eventually, the night settled in as you laid in bed together that night, cuddling; he told you that you were right. reassuring you that he wouldn't be fighting, he kissed you goodnight. you thought you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

that was, until tonight, an hour after the match: when hamzah walked in the front door, bloody and bruised.

his eye began to swell, darkening around the indents of his skull. the black eye that adorned his face was accompanied by a deep gash that exposed the layer beneath his skin. he looked at you with guilt plastered in his banged up face, furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips being muted by the extent of his injuries. you didn't have to guess where he was: you felt betrayed by the fact that you knew exactly what he went out to do. alongside his injuries and deception, came a girlfriend who wasn't going to speak to him.

not a single word was said when you grabbed his other wrist and walked to the bathroom with him; the room was filled with silence and guilt radiating off of him. he was currently sitting on the toilet seat as you rummaged around the medicine cabinet for materials that would help you fix his wounds. though you were upset, you weren't going to leave him to tend to his own injuries; you were still his girlfriend, after all. sitting on the floor, you grabbed his wrist to check how worsened it became.

"baby-"

"no, hamzah."

from your previous arguments, you knew that hamzah has a habit of overloading you with pet names. he knew he fucked up; you know he fucked up. him starting his sentence with "baby" helped you realize that he knew he's in the doghouse.

taking the textured, cotton gauze, you began to wrap his wrist with a softness that foiled your emotions towards him. you felt his eyes trained on you like the aimbot of a video game; his gazed fixated on every single movement you made. he noticed the way that you still looked so pretty even when you were mad at him. the way your face looked, tensed and full of agitation, created a pool of guilt that he swam in. he hated making you upset, but he simply needed to box. it was passion. it was commitment. he had to do it; at least, that's what he was telling himself. however, no matter how much he told himself that he had to fight, he knew it was wrong of him to go against your wishes and back. he knew you wanted the best for him and his physical being.

"i'm sorry. i shouldn't have gone tonight. i was being stupid and i shouldn't have went behind your back like that."

you listened to him apologize, yet, didn't respond. in fact, you didn't even look at him. there was no acknowledgement of his apology; it was almost like it never even happened in the first place. he needed to know how truly upset you were. instead, you focused on wrapping his wrist with a second layer of gauze, to keep everything in place.

"baby, please. just talk to me- i don't care if you cuss me out or give me hell for betraying you like that, just- please talk to me," his mannerisms were tense and rushed, "how do i fix this? how do i get you to speak to me? i'll do anything- i swear- you want me to quit boxing completely? i will. you want me to do all the housework in this house? i will- i'll do every single chore. shit, if even just sitting in a corner for days with no food or water would get you to speak to me, i'd do that. please, baby- please."

you finished wrapping the gauze by the time he finished his speech about what he'd do to get you to speak to him. you began to touch his face, examining the bruise on his eye and cheekbone like a scientist looking through a microscope. suddenly, he grabbed you by the cheek, forcing you to look up at him.

"i'm sorry. please, just speak to me. i'll do anything. talk to me. i just wanna hear your voice."

listening to him yearn for your voice made you feel a certain type of way. yes, you were mad. however, in a way, this whole situation was turning you on. you hated to admit it, but your boyfriend looked attractive with a black eye and bruised cheekbone. the fact that he was begging for you to speak to him made the sexual tension you were feeling within you even worse. his submissive side was creating a potion of ecstasy in your stomach; you wanted to see how far he'd go.

you sighed, "i don't know anymore, hamzah. you told me you wouldn't. i trust you less."

"i know, pretty, i'm sorry. i'll earn it back, i promise. i shouldn't have gone tonight. i was being an idiot."

standing up as his face followed where your eyes were, you rubbed it against his open wound, earning a wince from him as he gripped onto your waist. butterflies emerged in your stomach, causing you to feel similar to how light a fairy is.

"thanks for the warning," he said with sarcasm and irritation laced in his voice, opening his eyes from the hard shut he indulged in

"you don't deserve one."

he pulled you onto his lap, causing you to straddle him on the toilet seat. taking your cheeks, he cupped your face in his hands and sighed. he looked at you with a level of submissiveness you haven't seen in him. normally, hamzah was the dominant one; yet, you didn't mind that the roles switched.

"what can i do to get you to not be mad at me?"

"i dunno. you're a smart boy," you grabbed his cheek and stroked it with your thumb, "figure it out, baby."

you saw a lightbulb flicker on in his eyes. he sensed the tension in the room wasn't only angry, but there was also sexual tension in its silver lining.

"you want me to make it up to you?"

you leaned towards his ear, now whispering, "how are you gonna do that, hamzah?"

you felt something poke at your ass from beneath you, a slight twitch emerging from it too. your words made him as hard as a rock.

that's so fucking hot.

"baby, i thought you were mad at me."

"oh, i am. trust me, i'm fucking pissed."

he kissed you on the cheek, "i'm sorry."

he kissed you on the jawline, "i'm sorry."

he kissed you on the lips, "i'm sorry."

moving down to your neck, he kissed it longer than the pecks he gave you previously. you felt a sucking motion, as well as his tongue swirling on your sweet spot, shortly after. your breath got heavier, almost as if your lungs were being weighed down by hot air. your lips parted as he sucked a dark spot onto your neck.

"i'm sorry, pretty girl. forgive me?"

"not yet."

his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "why not?"

"i need more than that."

"tell me what you need, pretty. i'll do it."

you leaned closer to his ear, kissing his neck and the area between, "you know what i want from you."

standing up from the toilet seat, your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you to your bedroom. your lips began to intertwine with his as he walked through the hallway, your tongues melting together like two lollipops on a hot day. he laid you down on the bed, still kissing you with everything he had; he needs you to forgive him.

letting go of your lips, he moved closer to the edge of the bed, taking off your shorts and leaving you in your underwear. feeling exposed in front of hamzah was always nerveracking in your own way; however, this time it was different. you knew hamzah had to please you, leaving you with a newfound confidence.

"are you okay with this?" he asked, exhibiting a level of care that you were all too familiar with.

"do whatever you want to me, hamzah."

taking your underwear off, you were left laying on top of your sheets in a tank top. his arms wrapped around your legs like a snake to its prey, prying your legs apart with a sense of desperation.

"you're so pretty like this baby," he kissed the inner part of your thigh, "you're so fucking pretty."

he spit on the area between your legs, earning a subtle gasp from you. his tongue began to lap on you, dropping saliva on the area of you that was already wet. between your legs, you felt the roughness and neediness of his tongue. his hands squeezed your inner thighs as pleasure began to unravel the metaphoric yarn located in your stomach. hamzah was eating the fuck out of you, leading to your moans getting louder and louder with each and every movement his tongue created against you.

his tongue produced a dance that only the both of you would know. some parts were as fast as light, while other ones were full of yearning and slowness; he knew exactly how to balance it for you to feel the best that you could feel.

your hands made its way to his hair, "you're so pretty like this, hamzah. my boy- my pretty boy."

his movements got faster as his grip against your thighs tightened even more, as if you were going to fly away if he let go. similar to his hands, you squeezed his hair as his movements quickened in pace; you could feel the yarn unraveling like a rubber band about to snap.

"f-fuck- hamzah, i'm close-"

he kissed your core, before his tongue sped to a pace you haven't felt before. you watched him eat you out like there was no tomorrow, leaving loud moans echoing the room, before he felt you release into his mouth. kissing it once again, he looked up at you as his hands massaged the pillows that he was in between. you looked at each other with love while he watched your heavy breathing and fucked-out expression.

"forgive me?"

"i forgive you. please go box someone else, baby."

confusion was apparent in his face, "what?"

"you're so fucking hot when you're bruised and yearning."

author's note!

this is so short omfg i hate using anatomical words for smut LOL more coming soon!

#hamzah fic #hamzah imagines #hamzah x reader #hamzahthefantastic #hamzah x y/n #hamzah fluff #slushy noobz #hamzah angst #hamzah smut #hamzahthefantasticxreader

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hyomaslut · 2 years ago

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──★ ˙🌟 ̟ !! gold star redemption program. 18+!

☆⌒(ゝ。∂).ᐟ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ʙʟᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴋ's ғᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇʀ

✿ ─ synopsis: you are the new manager for team blue lock and you have a great idea to make the players get along better. after all, positive reinforcement worked really well on dogs, why not men? ✿ ─ characters: isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, shidou ryusei, itoshi rin, chigiri hyoma + kunigami rensuke referenced ✿ ─ cw: smut, fem!reader, she/her pronouns used, aged-up!characters(18+), pet names, kissing, penetrative sex, oral receiving/giving, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, hair pulling, overstimulation, rough sex, deepthroating/face-fucking, non-exclusive relationships, lots of jealousy, pda, use of foul language, suggestive themes, shidou is an asshole, rin threatens murder, somewhat proofread ✿ ─ notes: okay so every is going to ignore the logistics and mental gymnastics done to put all these guys on the same team and have any of this go on, right? cool. this work was requested by @anastasiablossomlove pls enjoy!

managing team blue lock was no task for a person of average conviction. anyone with less of a spine would be easily trampled and consumed by the members, all with big personalities and even bigger egos. you took to the role with exceptional organizational skills and a positive attitude that didn’t falter, even under the cold glares of the less compliant men of the team (cough cough itoshi rin cough cough barou shouei). before the end of your first week you had drafted up detailed and individualized meal plans, unique to each of them. by the second you had worked with the coach to create special training regimes that works towards their fitness goals while providing challenge and variety. right under their noses you dug your pretty fingers into every part of team blue lock, finding every issue and soothing every conflict, turning a group of somewhat wild animals into a well functioning machine with you at its core.

and not a detail slipped your eye. you could always tell when kunigami had pushed himself too hard in the gym by the stiffness in his shoulders. honestly you doubt you would’ve been able to convince him to let you help him if he wasn’t just as sore as you predicted. but the minute your palms were pressing into his back he was groaning in relief, “you’re an angel” grumbled under his breath. he’s a bit less embarrassed the next time around, blushing while asking you to fix him like you did last time.

you quickly took responsibility for doing chigiri’s hair before every practice and game. after seeing it fall out of its style and flap wildly in his face whenever he reached top speed on the field, you decided he needed something a little more reliable to keep it out the way so his eyes could stay on the ball. though when his hair was this soft, who could blame you for taking a bit longer than necessary, brushing through the knots and gently scratching at his scalp. plus, he didn’t seem to mind all that much, always red faced and all smiles, leaning into your touch. the thank you kiss he plants on your cheek lingers long enough to leave a matching blush on your face as a token of his appreciation.

being the backbone of their system earned you respect, acknowledgement, even affection from the overly friendly members of the team (cough cough bachira meguru cough cough shidou ryusei). no one could deny the benefits of having you around, always offering all kinds of helpful advice and showed not a shred of judgment when listening to their problems. and you weren’t exactly ignorant to the fact that your constant support was causing some of your new friends to become especially attached to you. maybe to someone else it would be a bigger concern, but in your eyes, this was only another opportunity to do more for your team.

that’s why you implemented the gold star redemption program to help motivate them. it was quite simple to follow, you had a chart with all of their names along with cute, slightly wonky doodles of them, and a list of ways to earn gold stars. from goals and assists to being on good behavior, whatever way they earn their stars, team members can then cash them in for certain prizes from you. the list had looked something like this…

2 ☆ = snack or drink of your choice 4 ☆ = a home cooked meal 5 ☆ = a kiss <3 7 ☆ = a massage <33 10 ☆ = private training session <333

the objective was to give incentives towards cooperation. not to mention, it’s always good to strengthen bonds with your team members. it seems, however, that you underestimated how much of your time this new system would take up. or maybe you just overestimated how easy it would be to keep up with the greedy desires of so many egoists at once.

ever since your arrival, anyone with eyes could see that isagi yoichi carried a torch for you. you let him talk your ear off for hours about tactics and players, never tired of his company or too busy for his rambles. it gets his heart thumping obnoxiously loud in his chest. so yoichi makes it his objective to dote on you as much as possible to try to make up for all the time you spend fussing over everybody else. always staying after practice to help you or walking you home. so when you start handing out stars for that kind of stuff, isagi is already making a steady income. he considers himself a gentleman, so at first he spends his stars on meals. and he’s more than happy to eat your cooking, stirring up all kinds of wifey fantasies in his head and enjoying his lunches with you. but at night, when he’s lying in bed, the big ticket item at the bottom of the prize board haunts him. and when he can’t take it anymore, he slips into your tiny little office that you share with the coach, a self-satisfied smile on his face when he lets you know that he just finished the stat sheets you asked him to fill out, earning him his tenth gold star. enough for one private training session.

in all the times you thought about sex with isagi, you’re not sure you ever pictured it to be like this. bent over your own desk, tennis skirt bunched up around your waist, your star player too eager to sink into your pussy to even push down your underwear. they stayed tugged to the side, thoroughly soaked from the way his hips meet yours in sloppy desperate thrusts. “i knew i needed to fuck you when i saw this skirt,” he confesses, eyes fixed to the point where you connect, mesmerized by the way his cock disappears inside you, “you’ve been tempting me all day, so be a good girl and take my cock, okay?” before you can respond he hooks a finger into the elastic of your panties to let it snap back against your skin, drawing a small yelp from you. he changs the angle to fuck you harder, deeper. you wonder if this could be the same sweet yoichi that carries your things and bashfully tells you your outfit looks good.

apparently that yoichi doesn’t exist once he’s balls deep inside you, all that’s left is the side of him you’ve only caught glimpses of when he’s dominating his opponents on the field. and if you thought that it was a chance encounter, you’re sorely mistaken as week after week isagi makes sure he earns his ten stars and you get to know just how mean he can be. his grip is always tight around your hair, whether it’s pulling and steering you into the position he wants or guiding your head down to take more of his dick. god forbid he asks you nicely for something like he always does when you’re not ‘training’. one time you even had the gall to suggest the idea to him and lived to regret it as now if you want anything from him, isagi is only accepting the most convincing of your begs. “c'mon princess, mind your manners, if you wanna cum then you’re gonna have to ask really nicely.” and no teary eyed puppy dog look will get you what you want, even when he makes getting your words out so difficult. truthfully, he never intends to be so hard on you, but having you crying and begging for his cock is the only way to soothe the devil on his shoulder that tries to tell him to take you for himself. in the aftermath, you start to recognize your yoichi again, sheepish in his apologies for how rough he was with you, kissing away the tears that run down your face. he’s lucky you’re too fucked out to charge him for them.

there’s not a world where you offer bachira meguru sexual favors in exchange for playing soccer and he says no. he was already gonna do that anyway, and now not only does he get to make even more of a game out of it, but his reward for winning is the cute little manager he’s had his eyes on for far too long? consider him sold. bachira knows it would be most fun for him to save up and have sex with you as soon as possible, but all of a sudden he has five and he’s itching for a kiss. one he decides to give you right before practice starts… in front of the whole team. but can you blame him? he’s already been waiting forever to feel those pretty glossed lips on his, you couldn’t really expect him to make it through the next few hours when he’s so close to getting what he wants. and you could maybe understand that, but was it really necessary to go for a full open-mouthed wet almost make out that left you panting when everyone’s eyes were already on you? you suspect not, but bachira doubles down, telling you it was of upmost importance that he got it in, else he wouldn’t be able to focus. he neglects to tell you that he overheard reo in the locker room talking about what he was gonna do now that he had five stars. shidou already made it very clear that he would be first to ten, so bachira had to be crafty in order to secure at least one first from you.

meguru was certainly one of the more needy players, right under nagi that required some form of encouragement every step of the way to get anything done. bachira usually does what you tell him to, but not without whining about deserving a prize for being good. quite frankly, you dread having to ask anything of him, because he is determined to be fully compensated for even the smallest of requests. even a task as easy as grabbing something on a high shelf was met with a cheeky smirk and a request for a kiss. and don’t think he’ll budge either, holding the item hostage if he thinks he can squeeze two out of you. it didn’t make it any easier that bachira didn’t possess a shy bone in his whole body, openly showering you in affection when the others were around, holding your hand and nuzzling his face into your collar. it was enough to make even a professional like you blush. he acted as if he was oblivious to the jealous stares of his friends, but the smug cat-like smirk he sends them and the way he only holds you tighter when you try to shyly brush him off gives him away. it may come as a surprise considering his reputation for being a bit delusional, but bachira tries to root himself in reality for once. he frequently reminds himself of the nature of your relationship and tries his best not let his imagination run wild with anything that would be beyond the boundaries you’ve clearly set. things like picturing himself taking you on dates, coming home to you at night, introducing you to his mom. they were all too dangerous to let his mind settle on them for too long.

and what better distraction than burying his face between your thighs. it’s hard to think of much when he hasn’t bothered to stop lapping at your cunt long enough to take a breath in a couple minutes. suffocating was the least of his concerns when the clench around his fingers lets him know your orgasm is just around the corner. meguru swears that your pathetic little whimpers and the slick dripping down his chin are like a straight hit of dopamine to his brain and he’s at real risk of addiction at this point. lidded amber eyes travel up to watch your expression twist into one of pleasure as you gasp out his name. now that catches his interest. when your vision clears and your brain is functioning again after that intense high, you search for his comfort as if you had done any of the hard work. but all you’re met with is that signature wild look that he gets when he brushing past the enemy team’s defense straight towards his goal. it’s your only warning that he’s far from tired and even farther from sated. “if i can keep going, so can you baby. i know you have more for me. jus’ need t’see you make that face one more time.” you have no room to protest, his tongue already finding your clit and working towards bringing you to the edge once again. by your fourth time cumming, you’re sobbing for a break and debating whether you should charge him four times over or give him a star for each one.

someone who was on board with your system from the second that you explained how it worked, was shidou ryusei. what better way to celebrate another one of his blood pumping, heart stopping performances than racing to the locker room to blow a load in his favorite girl while his teammates debrief with the coach? to him it was simple, you fuck him, you feed him, you take care of him, you spend time with him. shidou is, by all of his definitions, dating you. while some might be turned off by the idea of dating someone who isn’t offering exclusivity, he didn’t see it as much of an obstacle. not when he spent star stickers like a gambler on a slot machine, having you multiple times a week if the economy allowed it. and if he’s short a few, no worries, ryusei is quite the negotiator. it starts one week when he’s only missing a star or two, promising he’ll pay back the difference, you know he’s a good customer. it’s probably not a good idea to give in to him though, as the next time he wants a private training session, he’ll insist they’re only nine stars for him. he has made all kinds of fake coupons from 50% Off! to Buy One Get One Free! to even a homemade punch card in his own terrible handwriting. shidou was the first one to ever get a star taken away when he tried to give you an arby’s gift card in exchange for a blowjob. he didn’t try that tactic again.

the worst is when he tries to haggle in the middle of sex. your legs are thrown over his shoulders and his tip is kissing your cervix when he chooses to whine about not being able to kiss you because he has no stars left. he worked too hard to get good star credit, he can’t go into star debt!! “ and with his lips just hovering over yours, his hot breath fanning across your face, how could you say no? in a moment of weakness, you have unfortunately given an inch to shidou, infamous mile taker, and now it’s hard to get him to pay for any of his kisses, especially while he’s fucking you. you thank god that at the very least no one knows he’s been getting them for free… if only shidou would allow your life to be that easy. even worse than giving him an inch, you expected shidou to keep a secret. and you thought his big mouth was something you liked about him. until he’s using it to brag to everyone that he’s your favorite, practically your boyfriend, all because you let him get away with a smooch here and there. let’s just say you had to give out a lot of free kisses to smooth over the problem his bragging habits created.

honestly ryusei was starting to cause a lot of confusion outside of the team with his antics. what with his always hanging off your arm, giving you as much affection as you’d tolerate, calling you sweet nicknames. the people in your life were actually starting to believe you two were dating. not that shidou does anything to discourage such rumors, only grinning and agreeing every time someone mistakes you as a couple. hell, he was starting to get you confused, saying things during your training sessions that certainly didn’t fit the transactional nature of the act. “holy shit you’re so tight- love this pussy, l-love you so much. say my name. c’mon baby, say you love me and i’ll make you feel so fucking good.” and only because ryusei always makes good on his promises do you allow yourself another moment of weakness.

itoshi rin didn’t have much interest or faith in you upon first introduction. he sized you up as some nobody doing this whole manager thing as a fun extracurricular, so as long as you stayed out of his way he didn’t care what you did. with his luck, he shouldn’t be surprised that you were immediately in his way, extremely often, rambling to him about ideas and strategies that he had no intention on listening to. although even he could admit, he understood why the others were so easily charmed by you. he was wrong about how seriously you took your job. not that it changed anything. at least that’s what rin tells himself, but in reality your relentless efforts and endless dedication to supporting all of them was something that spoke to him, made him a bit soft for you. it didn’t help that you were his type in every sense of the word, your attractiveness doing nothing but make feigning indifference a lot harder for rin. your seemingly endless patience didn’t help either. you always responded in kind to all of rin’s harsh words and cold stares, never let his sour attitude deter your subtle acts of service like getting grass stains out of his uniform and making sure he stays unbothered during his yoga. against his will, he was slowly warming up to you, but you were still caught off guard when rin started cashing in his stars, even if it was just a meal. he had lots of them sitting idle on the chart waiting to be used, so you supposed it was only natural for him to get some free food out of it. but you were even more taken aback when a couple days later he requested a massage from you with insistence that he only asks because he’s been extremely tense as of late. which wasn’t entirely untrue. rin had been very tense. just not from anything soccer related like he’d like you to believe. he was tense from the stress of his budding feelings for you combined with the dread of knowing he probably will never have you all to himself. at least not with this stupid reward system in place.

he despises it. he absolutely hates going about his day knowing there are other guys, his shithead teammates, that are getting your time, attention, and affection for the price of a couple of stupid fucking stickers. he misses the days when shidou’s incessant bragging about how many times he was able to make you cum or bachira’s unnecessary details of what your pussy tastes like didn’t bother him. now his blood boils to hear them talk about you like that. that kind of anger makes it clear to him that being your friend was simply not an option anymore. which is how he settled on getting a massage from you. he would satisfy this overwhelming craving he has for you and go back to normal and be able to focus solely on becoming best in the world again without thoughts of you plaguing his mind. that was his hope going into it, but feeling your warm touch on his bare back, melting away years of untreated knots and neglected aches in his body, he could almost blush at the intimacy he feels. especially when that foreign kindness he loves so much is on display as you reassure him that there’s nothing to be embarrassed about and that you’re proud he finally put his pride aside long enough to let you help him. you’ve got him, hook, line, and sinker now. no use in struggling so hard, he supposes, as some part of him knows he’s doomed to fall sooner or later. perhaps it’s time to surrender. he fought a good fight, but his greed for you was candidly too tough of an opponent.

and to rin, surrender looked like asking you when’s the soonest he could book a private training session. you don’t think you could look any more shocked. rin had a quick turn around from someone you doubted even liked you, to someone reserving as much of your time as his stars could buy. the more often he was with you, the less time you spent giving those lukewarm brats the treatment he wants reserved for him. and he wishes he gave in a lot sooner when he feels the wet heat of your mouth around his cock for the first time. how fast he would’ve folded if he knew how pretty you would look on your knees for him. rin tried to be gentle and let you set the pace, but between hissing out curses and barely biting back moans, that same greed to get more from you has his hand twisting itself in your hair and pushing down on the back of your head. he couldn’t help it. and it was so worth it to watch you choke and sputter around his length but never pull away. he knew you weren’t a quitter. “shit, feels good… don’t stop,” he all but gasps, hips instinctively jumping to reach further down your throat, grip tightening when you try to come up for air. after a long moment of breathing through your nose you relax enough to let him ease himself the rest of the way in. rin sighs in relief when your nose finally presses against his pelvis. the way you look up at him starry-eyed and full of adoration made his chest feel heavy with desire to be the only one you ever look at. it drives him crazy that any guy on the team can see you like this, and that heartache has rin fucking your face to forget it. “fuckkk. don’t look away, eyes on me, g’nna cum in that pretty mouth.”

you couldn’t deny that your new attempt at encouraging the team had its kinks. while overall the amount of arguments that broke out between players lessened to keep on good star-earning behavior, you could tell that it came with its own set of tension creating problems. you also couldn’t deny that being pulled in every direction by men vying for your attention was both very time consuming and extremely gratifying, but you think you manage it well. save for when they were already pumped up with adrenaline from a game, that is when real issues arise. especially when a player from the enemy team thinks it’s a good idea to try and hit on the cute little lady holding the clipboard. fatal mistake.

it starts with your favorite pot stirrer, bachira, calling out from his position, making everyone else on the team aware of the situation. “no shot dude, she don’t want you! focus on losing!” you’re confident you can diffuse whatever is about to go down before you notice rin leaving the ball alone in centerfield to beeline straight towards you. threats are flying from his lips on approach, quick to get in the guy’s face, planting his hands on his shoulders to shove him back. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing? i’ll kill you if you don’t get the fuck away from her.” you think maybe you have a shot of getting rin under control if you just- your eyes widen in horror as a flash moves in from your peripheral. there are no words, just shidou drop kicking this poor stranger at top speed. you cringe as you watch shidou knocks this guy off his feet, cleats first, taking rin down with him. what a way to earn a red card.

this was a fun project and request tysm!!! i just went about it in the interpretation i found most interesting, i really hope it was to your liking!!!

#divider credit to @cafekitsune #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk smut #blue lock #bllk #isagi yoichi x reader #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi smut #isagi yoichi smut #bachira x reader #bachira meguru x reader #shidou ryusei x reader #shidou ryuusei smut #shidou smut #chigiri x reader #kunigami x reader #miwa sins

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bratty-koda · 10 months ago

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Just smoked 3 bowls with daddy ☺️🌸🎀🍃🥰

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leahwllmsn · 3 months ago

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good graces II

alexia putellas x reader

word count: 4.6k

part 1

You and Alexia are teammates. You still dislike her. So much.

Life at Barcelona was way better than you expected. It had only been a few months but it felt like you’ve always belonged here.

The city was beautiful, you spent most weekends watching the sunset by the beach, a change from the gloomy England you were accustomed to. Sometimes a teammate would join you, mostly Kika or Jana, or you were on your own. You considered getting a pet cat, but you didn’t think they’d love being dragged to the beach. So you put that thought on hold.

Everyone at Barcelona welcomed you with open arms. You were playing better than you’ve ever played before. You and Alexia were… working well too.

After the first training session with your new team, you quickly realized that you and Alexia were better off as teammates instead of rivals. You two worked so well together, assisting each other’s goals and always finding each other on the field that even you were left feeling confused—what were the odds of having this type of connection with someone?

The only thing that didn’t change was the subtle acts of her trying to kill you, which now only happened during training. Pere would put you in separate teams, just because. You had a feeling it was because he liked to see you two fight, you overheard the other girls gossiping about it—how still having that spark of competition was healthy, or something.

You didn’t know how it could still be considered healthy with every shove and every tackle your way.

“Alexia, for god’s sake, that was your fifth yellow!”

“It was not!” The blonde had the decency to laugh.

You laid still on the ground, Alexia having ‘accidentally’ pushed you again. No one batted an eye.

“How is this fair?!” You groaned. “She clearly shoved me!”

“I didn’t! Princesa, get up!”

You could only glare at your captain, still sporting that gummy smile of hers—how were you supposed to focus when she was smiling like that? All innocent as if she had no faults at all. You wanted to kill her back.

“C’mon, cariño,” Alexia offered her hand out for you to take, but you ignored her, choosing to lay still, staring up at the sky.

“Go away.”

You glared at her again when all she did was laugh that addicting laugh of hers. You hated it so much.

“Can we take a short break?” Alexia told someone, you figured it was Pere. As the captain she sure could do anything she wanted. Like shove you around and not get a yellow card. Must be nice.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Your patience was wearing thin. It wasn’t the first time Alexia pushed you. Whether it was intentional or not (you would argue that it was definitely, one hundred percent intentional), you still fell because of it.

Alexia was strong. You didn’t need to see her defined biceps, how broad her shoulders were, those thighs—

You were smaller in frame compared to Alexia, of course she was much stronger than you. You’ve seen her lift weights as if it was nothing, she was so strong, sometimes you wonder if she could lift you up just as easily. That would be so hot. Not that you wanted her to lift you up in her strong arms, but it would be nice.

Suddenly, you felt a warm body next to you. You furrowed your brows and opened your eyes to see Alexia mirroring your position.

“What are you doing?”

She simply shrugged, placing both her hands underneath her head and sighed. “Taking a break next to the prettiest girl on the field.”

You pushed her away from you, earning a laugh, but it only made your blood boil. When she didn’t bulge at all, acting like your shove was weak, you shoved her again, harder this time. “Go away, Alexia. I don’t want you here.”

Alexia scooted even closer to you. “But I’m comfortable here.”

You could only groan and cross your arms (secretly you enjoyed her warmth pressing against you). “My body will turn blue and you’re getting away with it. That was your fifth yellow!”

“We don’t distribute yellow cards during training, bonita.”

“What if I get hurt, huh? You never thought about that?”

“I would never hurt you. All my tackles are clean and I don’t push you to the ground on purpose! It’s all just part of the game, baby.”

“Don’t call me that.” (You liked it. Kind of.)

“Okay, sorry, amor.”

“You’re riling me up.”

You suddenly felt a finger poking your cheek. “What the-”

“Forgive me please, hermosa.”

“No, you’re annoying.” Alexia repeatedly poked your cheek, you had to swat her hand away. “Alexia! Go annoy someone else.”

“Give me a smile please, princesa, you’re prettier when you smile.”

You internally cursed yourself at the slight tug of your lips. You hoped she didn’t notice. Alexia annoyed you to death, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t crave her attention. You sat up and flicked the blonde’s forehead.

“Ow!” you could see a couple of heads turning at Alexia’s shout. “That hurts!”

“No it didn’t, you’re so dramatic,” you looked at how she was still holding a hand over her forehead. “It was nothing.”

“It hurts,” Alexia pouted. She pouted and you felt that tug in your heart at the sight. You sighed, taking her hand away from her forehead, leaning down to inspect what she claimed was forming a bruise.

You didn’t realize how close your faces were, you were too busy focusing on finding any indication of a bruise to see her eyes flicking down to your lips.

“Stop lying,” you stated. “I doubt that hurt.”

“It does,” Alexia whined. “I’m fragile!”

You rolled your eyes at her. You knew the only way to get her to shut up was to turn the tables on her. So you did the only thing you could think of, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.

The moment you heard her breath hitch, you knew you got her.

“There,” you whispered. “Now it won’t hurt.”

You flashed a smirk at her dumbfounded face and stood up.

Now it was your turn to offer a hand, raising an eyebrow when Alexia did nothing but gaped at you.

“Stop looking at me like that, Alexia,” you took her hand and forced her to get up. “You look like a fish.”

When Alexia said nothing else and you had to drag her to where everyone was, you knew you won this round.

Looking at how red her face was, knowing that it wasn’t because of the heat (it was a cool day in Barcelona), you felt so smug the entire day.

—

“So… you and Alexia are a thing now?”

You spluttered your coffee across the table, Kika grimacing when she felt some of it on her face. “Gross.”

It was a Sunday before a match at home. Ever since the season started, you and Kika had developed a ritual where you would get coffee at this little café near the stadium.

“Then don’t ask me stupid questions when I’m drinking!”

Kika rolled her eyes at you, wiping your mess with some napkins. “It’s not a stupid question when everyone on the team thinks so. I saw you kiss her forehead last week!”

You felt the heat rising up to your cheeks. You thought no one saw that. “I didn’t,” you lied through gritted teeth. “Besides, I hate her. I can’t stand her. I want to kill her. Sometimes.”

“Wow,” suddenly you heard a voice from behind you. A very familiar voice you knew too well (you heard it in your dreams a million times). “I’m sad to hear that, princesa.”

“Alexia.”

You glared at her in greeting when she rested a hand on your shoulder.

“Hola, mi amor,” Alexia grinned at you. Kika was grinning at you too, you wanted to smack your best friend’s face.

“What are you doing here? You’re ruining my pre-game ritual. It involves Kika, coffee, and not seeing your face for a few hours.”

“You wound me, cariño,” Alexia placed a hand over her heart and pouted. She saw the empty seat to your left and went to sit, placing her cup of coffee on the table. “Don’t act like you’re not happy to see me here.”

“I’m not,” you shifted your chair to your right, away from Alexia. It was futile though, because all Alexia did was smirk and followed suit, shifting closer to you every time you moved away.

“You two are so cute,” you were snapped out of your glaring contest with the blonde when you heard Kika’s voice. “I want what you two have.”

Before you could reply, Alexia beat you to it. “Gracias. We are cute, aren’t we, bebita?”

“I’m cute, yes. You? Not so much,” you drank your remaining coffee, wanting to get out of there. A part of you didn’t though. It was that conflicting emotions that resurfaced whenever Alexia was around.

You hated Alexia. You really did. Or at least, you thought you did.

But a part of you knew that you didn’t. You liked her. You liked her presence, you liked the way she looked at you—the stupid smirk always present on her face as her eyes twinkled with mischief—you liked the way her cheeks turned red whenever you flirted back, her stutters before she composed herself and returned that cool demeanour.

You liked how well you two worked on the pitch, how you were so sure that if you two played with a blindfold on, you would still be able to find one another. You liked when you two were the only ones left after a training session, both of you doing extra shooting practices in silence. You liked when Alexia came up to you a day after a match with her iPad, you two sitting down on the floor of the locker room as she showed you what she thought could be improved and you telling her your opinions.

You two liked to bicker, but other times, you two could act friendly too. You liked it a lot when Alexia wasn’t giving off major teenage boy vibes.

(You would be lying if you said you didn’t like when she was purposely riling you up though. You secretly looked forward to it. But you wouldn’t admit it to anyone. Ever).

“Hey, earth to the prettiest girl on the planet,” Alexia waved a hand over your face. Great. You were daydreaming about her again. It was becoming concerning how often your thoughts drifted to her. “All good? We’ve been calling your name.”

Meanwhile Kika was looking at you and Alexia as if the two of you were the modern day Romeo and Juliet. You weren’t even together. You made a mental note to emphasize that to Kika. You and Alexia were colleagues at best.

“I’m all good,” you averted your gaze away from her, hating that her eyes were searching yours, her hazel eyes showing a hint of worry as if she was actually concerned about you.

“All good because I’m here?” Alexia wiggled her eyebrows. Kika’s grin became impossibly bigger. You rolled your eyes to the back of your head.

You took your cup to your lips but realized they were empty. You sighed. Alexia being here made you feel like you need ten more cups of coffee. Before you could stand up and get yourself another though, Alexia took your empty cup and replaced it with hers.

“It’s almond milk,” she stated, her eyebrows raised as if urging you to drink it.

“You hate almond milk,” you said back. It was true, you knew for a fact that Alexia drank her coffee with oat milk. You heard it in passing once and your brain decided to store this fact somewhere. You remembered confronting Alexia about it, because you believed that coffee with almond milk was superior and you couldn’t comprehend how someone could dislike it.

Alexia shrugged at you and you narrowed your eyes at her. Things weren’t adding up. Alexia would never willingly buy this. You could only conclude one thing. “It’s poisonous, isn’t it? Must I remind you that we have a game tonight? I can’t get poisoned!”

The laugh your captain let out was able to make a couple of heads turn in your direction. You slapped her forearm with the hand that wasn’t holding the coffee. “Shut up, Alexia. What’s so funny?”

“It’s not poisonous, princesa,” Alexia rolled her eyes and took back her coffee. She took a sip and exhaled dramatically then put the cup back in your hand. “See? I’m still alive. That was disgusting, but I’m still alive.”

“Okay…” you dragged out, still confused why Alexia bought a coffee she would never drink. You got rid of the thought that she bought it for you. That she went to the café just to see you.

But that would be ridiculous.

…But very possible with the way Alexia let you have her coffee and ended up leaving the café without having drank anything else.

If it was true, it could only mean Alexia wanted something from you and you needed to find out what.

—

The game went fairly easy. You were playing against a team at the bottom of the table. With both you and Alexia starting, it wasn’t a shock that you were up 3-0 within the first fifteen minutes.

Everyone felt good about the game, there were smiles all over the pitch, even you and Alexia hugged after you assisted a goal for her.

It was a calm Sunday night game.

Nobody could predict that an opposing player would mistime their tackle, causing your legs to buckle from underneath you.

The next thing you knew, you were screaming out in pain.

It was your ankle. It hurt a lot.

“Cariño, breathe, calm down, you’re going to be okay.” You heard your captain’s voice before you could see her, your eyes still shut from the excruciating pain you were feeling. “Princesa, you’re okay.”

You felt her hand wipe your tears away, causing you to slowly open your eyes.

Alexia was crouched next to you, you could spot the worry on her face clear as day. You didn’t know why that was, you didn’t think it was simply because she was your captain. Alexia was not usually this concerned when someone else was down. You felt that familiar tug in your heart again, the one present whenever Alexia did something unthinkable.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw the medic inspecting your leg, you heard the mutters of noticeable swelling and how you definitely sprained your ankle.

You tried to control your breathing, following Alexia’s instructions as she repeated over and over for you to breathe. You knew you fucked your ankle. You didn’t know how bad it was though. You hoped for a mild sprain but you doubt it with the way your ankle felt like it wasn’t connected to the rest of your body.

The medic mentioned a possible torn ligament, something you knew that if it was severe, it would take months to recover. Fresh tears appeared from your eyes again. Alexia was there to wipe them away before they fell.

“Hey, hey, focus on me,” Alexia had her hands on your cheeks, she was kneeling now and you almost protested, always feeling that tiny fear whenever she put some type of pressure on her knee even though it was perfectly fine now—not that you cared about her, you just needed her to never get injured again—“Cariño, look at me.”

You focused your gaze on her. Her hazel eyes with so much concern swirling around in them that you felt overwhelmed. “Ale,” you croaked out. “This hurts like shit.”

Alexia let out a watery laugh. You couldn’t figure out why she was tearing up too. “I know, princesa. Just hold on. You’ll be okay.”

“Fuck,” you cursed. You didn’t feel like you would be okay, but you saw the confidence in Alexia’s eyes when she kept on telling you that you’d get through this and that she’d be there for you every step of the way. You could feel yourself starting to believe her.

They pulled out a stretcher for you. A protest was already on the tip of your tongue when you felt Alexia rubbing gentle circles on the back of your hand. “I know you want to walk off this field, but I think it’s better if you get on that stretcher.”

You looked at the blonde next to you and that was when you realized that Alexia knew you better than you thought.

“Being stretched off doesn’t mean you’re any less strong. I’ll see you after the game, okay?”

You could only nod at her, not sure where this Alexia came from.

Alexia kissed the palm of your hand before letting you leave. Despite the pain in your ankle, you felt a little at peace, replaying the way her lips felt against your hand.

—

The doctors confirmed that you had a grade 2 sprain in your ankle. The recovery was going to take a month or so, depending on your progress.

You were just relieved that you didn’t need surgery. You had always been afraid of the hospitals. The thought of staying there for more than a day was chilling.

Now that the pain had subsided, you felt calmer. You were able to plan out what you were going to do to get yourself healthy and back on the field. You were able to replay the events on the field, how you went down and how Alexia was there to take care of you.

Speaking of which, the moment the doctors finished speaking to you, the door opened and Alexia peeked her head in.

“Hola,” Alexia gave you a comforting smile. You noticed she was holding a bag of pastries from your favourite bakery. You raised an eyebrow at her.

“Are those for me?” you croaked out, your words were spoken above a whisper.

Alexia stood next to your bed, dropping the brown paper bag on your lap. “Figured you’d be hungry.”

“I don’t have the stomach to eat,” you tried your best to smile at her. You were so tired. “But thank you.”

“We can heat this up later.”

You looked at her in confusion. “We?”

“Yes,” Alexia answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m taking you home and I’m moving in.”

In your defense, your brain was still hazy from all the pain killers they pumped into you and from the information you had to hear from the doctors and the Barcelona staff. You could have sworn that Alexia, who you weren’t even sure if she was your friend, said she was going to move in. To your place, you assumed.

You figured your brain was just playing tricks on you so you could only nod at her and let her take you home.

—

You were trying to get yourself comfortable on your couch, Alexia fussing over the way you sit and the way your ankle should be rested. It was ridiculous.

“Alexia, I’m fine.”

“Your ankle needs to be at the right angle, hermosa, or else it will hurt even more.” Now Alexia was puffing up the pillows behind you, then putting two more pillows on each of your sides. You were pretty much drowning in your throw pillows.

Once she was satisfied with her work, she flopped on the spot next to you and let out the longest exhale. “I’m glad you’re taking this well, Y/n.”

You looked to your right. Alexia had her eyes closed, she was wearing your hoodie because she complained that your apartment was as cold as the North Pole and she didn’t bring any more clothes with her. Alexia looked at ease and you couldn’t help but let yourself enjoy this view.

This was a side of Alexia you hadn’t seen before.

“You’ve been too nice to me,” you stated. Your statement caused the other girl to raise her eyebrows, a coy smile on her lips. “First, you bought me coffee this morning—”

“I didn’t buy that coffee for you,” Alexia interjected. “Your coffee was finished so I offered you mine.”

You looked at her as if you didn’t believe her. She was lying, you could tell because her lips twitched when she told a lie. “You don’t drink almond milk so I know you bought it for me, hermosa.”

“Ah,” Alexia smirked at you. Your cheeks reddened. “You think I’m beautiful?”

You tried to play it cool, a shrug was your answer. Alexia scooted closer to you, until her body was pressed against the throw pillow on your side. “So you are attracted to me.”

You couldn’t help the scoff that escaped your lips. “No. I only called you that because you call me that all the time. Just making fun of you. Something like that.”

“Well, I call you that because you are beautiful.”

The way your cheeks heat up so quickly should be a crime, honestly. You knew Alexia enjoyed this whole thing.

“You’re… okay,” you shrugged. “You’re not exactly my type.” (A lie).

Alexia looked genuinely offended at your statement. You took great pleasure in the way the frown on her face deepend.

“I’m not your type?” she asked incredulously.

“Nope,” you smiled sweetly at her. “The only person I would date on the team is Frido. Now she’s definitely my type.” You weren’t attracted to Frido at all, but it was fun to see Alexia getting worked up over this.

“Frido is straight!”

“Frido is tall,” you mentioned dreamily—for dramatics.

Alexia crossed her arms. “She’s not that tall.”

“Frido is blonde. All blondes are hot.”

You almost laughed at the way Alexia lights up. “I’m blonde too.”

“Well,” you sent her your best pitying look. “You’re not a natural blonde. It doesn’t count.”

Alexia shot out of her seat. “It does!”

This time you did laugh. Alexia looked like you just told her something so awful, like Barcelona is the worst club in the world. It was adorable. Kind of. “Relax, Capi. I’m not attracted to Frido,” you didn’t know why but you felt the need to clarify.

“Oh,” Alexia sat back down, trying to act nonchalant. You could tell she wanted to ask more questions about your type, but you couldn’t exactly say that she was your type.

A conversation for another day.

“Can you make me something to eat?” you changed the subject before Alexia could say anything else. “I’m hungry now.”

Alexia didn’t say anything else, her face was set to a determined look as she went straight to your kitchen. This was the first time the blonde had stepped in your apartment, but she acted as if she owned the place with the way she moved around your kitchen, somehow knowing where everything was placed.

“I’m going to have to stop by my place to get a couple of clothes. I will be back in an hour.” Alexia handed you a plate. You inspected the sandwich, noting that it had mayo and tomato sauce, just how you liked it. You were too stunned that Alexia knew your sandwich preference that you didn’t catch her sentence until she was halfway out the door.

“Wait!”

Alexia jumped at your voice, immediately turning around. “What? What is it?”

“What… exactly did you mean?”

Alexia looked at you questioningly.

“Why are you going home and coming back in an hour?” you clarified.

“I’m… going to my place because I need clothes? It’s a 20 minute drive.”

You narrowed your eyes. “And why… do you need clothes?”

Because Alexia was Alexia, instead of answering your question seriously, she threw you the biggest smirk with flirty eyes. “Do you prefer I walk around your apartment naked?”

Your eyes widened at her statement. It was ridiculous that you felt your face getting warm at the images of Alexia in your apartment—

“Okay, no! I don’t want you naked—”

“Sure, bonita.”

You groaned. “Can you explain why you’re coming back when you can just go home? I don’t mind. Really. Thanks for bringing me home and for the sandwich.”

“No way. I’m moving in.”

You stared at her, speechless. Neither of you said anything. Alexia muttered something underneath her breath that you couldn’t quite catch and walked back towards you.

“I will take care of you,” Alexia stated, sitting down on the coffee table in front of you. “So the best way to do that is to move in.”

“Move in… here?” you were stunned. Genuinely. “To take care of me…?”

Alexia nodded. She looked so sure of this, it was the face she made when she knew she was going to win a match.

You looked at her as if she was crazy, which she was. So you told her just that. “You’re crazy. You are not moving in.”

“Princesa, I’m moving in,” Alexia said so casually, as if she was saying that she was making omelets for breakfast and not telling you that she wanted to live with you. “Which side of the bed do you prefer?”

You stare dumbfoundedly at her. Alexia wanted to move in because she wanted to take care of you. You felt like you were in some sort of fever dream. Did you get a concussion too aside from a sprained ankle? That was the best conclusion you could think of.

But Alexia was actually in front of you, looking at you as she waited for an answer.

“Right side,” you replied absentmindedly, still not quite believing that this was real. “You're moving in.” You wanted it to be a question, but it came more like a statement.

Alexia flashed you the brightest smile you’ve ever seen. “Yes, I’m moving in,” she stood up and placed a gentle kiss on your temple. You were frozen. You died and this was the afterlife, perhaps. “I’ll be back in an hour, okay?”

“Okay,” you managed to squeak out.

“Anything you need, you tell me, cariño.”

You nod slowly at her, trying to decide what to do next.

Alexia, feeling satisfied that you somehow had agreed to her moving in, continued to sport a smile as she walked to the door. You swore you saw a red tint on her cheeks. She looked almost shy, you realized.

Suddenly, you felt a spark inside. You decided that you had enough and you weren’t going to be the only one flustered here.

“Hey, Ale?”

“Yes, amor?”

“I think… I know what will make me feel better.”

Alexia looked expectantly at you, one hand already on the door knob.

“You… walking around my apartment naked sounds pretty good actually,” you said with an air of pure nonchalance, you could give yourself an oscar. “It’s going to do wonders for my stress level. You know, having a pretty, hot girl tending to my needs.” You sighed dramatically. “Then I would like a massage. So if you have a massage oil at your place, that would be good. If not, I guess lube would work fine too.”

The way Alexia’s eyes widened with every word coming out of your mouth was downright hilarious. You probably broke her with the way she stood by the door, mouth agape, not moving a muscle.

She was saved by Kika, who suddenly appeared, looking confused at the state Alexia was in.

“I’m…I will—” Alexia was stuttering, you were having the time of your life.

“You okay, Capi?”

Alexia looked at Kika, then back at you. “Sí.” Then she bolted.

You heard a crash. Kika later told you it was Alexia who tripped on her shoelaces.

You had a feeling that despite being injured, you were going to enjoy the month ahead.

#woso #woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #woso fanfics #woso community #alexia putellas #alexia putellas imagine

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dunmeshistash · 11 months ago

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How do you feel about Milsiril? Like what do you think of her interactions between the canaries, her goals, her intentions and morality? I keep seeing people with mixed feelings about her, some saying she's just toxic or morally grey or doing bad but with good intentions or that she's just a mentally ill and literally so much more, also with the comic about Otta calling Milsiril love for her children/Kabru as just love for a pet, I always saw people take it at face value and say yes, Milsiril did love them more as pets instead of children, did she take up raising/adopting non-elf children because she felt like none of them could ridicule her like the elves did because they didn't know what an elf was supposed to be like (and also because they were children) or did she inherently view them as less? I mean the canaries and I'm pretty sure almost all of the cast in dungeon meshi have some sort perspective on different races especially because how they were taught about them, i just think it was interesting to finally see someone interpret it as Otta just misinterpreting Milsiril, I'm just really interested in her, i think shes neat, sorry for the rant!

Ooh, well to preface this, I hadn't really realized Milsiril was such a controversial character before my last post, I kinda live under a rock. She's really not a character I had given much thought besides what I wrote there before it, but I can do my best to express what I have thought since, with sources for it. I'm not sure what order to go thru so I'll just go by manga appearances and then extras, this will probably be quite a long post

This is the first time she shows up in the manga (ch55) Kabru is wondering about what future they might have if the elves take them into custody because of the ancient magic, he thinks about Milsiril as a get out of jail card, and mentions "There's a chance they would make us become permanent resident of the elven lands." with the image of Milsiril holding him. I don't think that means she would be the one to not let them leave, since this would probably be an legal issue, and the fact Milsiril lives away from other Elves. It does set up that Milsiril is quite overprotective tho, with Kabru's reaction to her teary hug. (rest is under a cut)

The next time she shows up is in ch61 right after Kabru falls down the dungeon along with Mithrun, he faints and has this flashback

She's being her overbearing self treating Kabru's small injury as if its something you need to be in bed for, hand feeding him like he's a toddler, and when he insists he wants to learn how to fight and be strong like her, she hugs him revealing to us for the first time her arm scars, she's cleary in distress too, so you wonder "what has happened to her?"

It continues in the next pages, as she tells him to stay there, where it's safe and there's cake, and describes the bad things he might encounter. Until he tells her he will go with or without her help

Honestly this is a Kabru we don't see often, this is the version of him that is usually in thought bubbles, he's blowing out in frustation over being smothered and demanding straight up what he wants, instead of trying to manipulate Milsiril, very blunt for him. Milsiril seems to flip a switch into battle mode, when she decides to train him for real.

I really thought this was funny, the visual of these cuddly toys and this Mom that was being so soft just a second ago completely flipping into something menacing is very amusing to me. She says "I'll give you an exhaustive, thorough training in how to use a sword... until you finally decide that you're ready to give up." although it sounds cruel, it seems she really trained him as best she could to make sure he would survive the dungeon. If he couldn't take the training with her there was no way he would be able to take on the dungeon, but he could, so much so that he managed to make her let him go. I can see this being seen as her trying to prevent him from going but to me it seems more like some tough love from a traumatized war veteran in this case.

The last thoughts he has is admitting his Mom was right, "Not only were there plenty of traps, monsters, and malice... but there were times when I felt so hungry and cold that I couldn't stand it."

And he concludes with "I never once thought that I wanted to go back there. That room where I could eat all the cake that I wanted..." While I can understand the interpretation that he means he would rather go thru all this than go back, perhaps cause he hated it there, I think it's rather a statement to how committed he is to defeating the dungeon, the visuals show him in rubble vs him in a soft big bed, the rough reality he fought to be able to face and the comfyness of what his life could be. Plus is mirroring exactly what Milsiril said to him. Admitting she was right about the bad things but that he won't give up for the safe easy life he had.

After that visuals of Milsiril are used while Kabru tries to sus out Mithrun but she shows up again in Mithrun's backstory.

Here she's straight up called Gloomy, which wasn't really the version of her we saw so far, gotta remember this is also how Mithrun saw her and that she was called gloomy as a way of bullying. Kabru mostly cuts off her part in the story until the end, when she's the one to find Mithrun after he was eaten by the demon

She doesn't really care much for Mithrun as we see in some extras, and she was ready to mercy kill him, but she is also the one to spare his life. This could be seen as her thinking he can still be of use, and it's how it sounds with how Kabru tells the story, but I do think this was also a merciful act, Mithrun was in rehabilitation for 20 years after being saved, by the time he was actually useful for anything Milsiril had already left the canaries and adopted Kabru.

Now for extras... About Mithrun/The Canaries, Milsiril was cleary someone that hated the people around her. This is her extra in the Adventurer's Bible

Milsiril seems to be the type that hates "popular kids" so to say, her description says she was bullied by other elves for being so introverted so I believe she holds a grudge against people like Mithrun that seem to have succeeded where she failed. But realizing he was a twisted person like her seemed to make her feel more sympathetic towards him, that's why I think she really did act with mercy when she saves Mithrun, he's now someone she sees as similar to her, she sees he also suffered like her

Her decription also mentions she left the canaries specifically because she was disgusted with how the Utaya situation was dealt with. Yet it seems like she came back to help Mithrun with his rehabilitation once she quits.

There's an interpretation to be made that she did this only to get "revenge" on the demon since she just saw the destruction of Utaya, and that she's using him. On the other hand maybe she wants to help him find a motivation to live, she's no longer a canary and she has time to actually help him now. I don't know which one is the truth but it's not obviously something self-serving if you ask me. Especially in the context that right before this scene Milsiril admits she wishes they could have talked before.

My interpretation of her relationship with the canaries and other elves is that she's someone depressed that was mistreat for her 'quirky' side, the dolls are clearly one of the ways she used to cope with anxiety/depression but it only caused her to be bullied by her own kin, she's the daughter of an important family and it's shown in other extras, including one about Mithrun, that nobles often send out the kids they don't want around to become canaries. It's an easy way to get rid of someone undesirable and I think it was the case for Milsiril. (Pattadol even assumes her parents love her less than her sisters for sending her to join the canaries).

No wonder than that now that she's finally free from the canaries she chose to seek her own happiness away from the society she felt she could never fit into, she clearly likes to take care of children too, I think it's mean to assume she only likes them because she feels superior to them when there's no indication that this is the case.

And I don't think it's a coincidence she's so overprotective of Kabru after Utaya, it's literally the tragedy that was the breaking point for her, and he's a surviving small child from that tragedy, Milsiril cares about Kabru and wanted him to have a comfortable safe life after everything he went thru...

This ended up getting way too long so I'll make second part tomorrow about the rest of the extras and Kabru, and some other things I've seen said about Milsiril, but to answer the questions...

I don't think she treats her children as pets, Otta is just salty she was called out for dating like Leo Dicaprio.

Every single dungeon meshi character can be called morally grey because they all have flaws that in our world can be considered unforgivable, but they don't live in our world. To me Milsiril is doing her best in the context she lives in.

Who even is neurotypical in dungeon meshi, Milsiril is yet another flavour of a neurodivergent traumatized character among so many.

I believe she thought of the other canaries, especially Mithrun, as the same type of people that were cruel to her, probably because some of them really were, but that she generalized it to the point she thinks of all of them as bad by default. You can only get hurt so many times before you assume everyone will hurt you.

Part 2

#dungeon meshi #adventurers bible #this is REALLY long because I dont know how to say things #and I want people to make their own interpretations of this...#Milsiril #Ask #Long post #longpost #Part 1 of 2 #Edit: I went back and rewrote some stuff I thought were written in a confusing way #I keep repeating this in tags but I really am bad at writting I say things in a weird order using strange words sometimes #If you ever dont understand something I said please ask #dunmeshi thoughts #character ask

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retiredteabag · 2 months ago

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Dog-sitter!Toji - chapter 9

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Synopsis: Toji was quite accustomed to objectifying himself for a check. And to be frank, far worse actions as well. Now he’s not sure what to do with himself after meeting the kind and generous owner of the dog he pet-sits for.

read along as Toji learns that you don't need to lose yourself in order to love and be loved.

Toji has never been the type to hold back.

He's honest and dislikes waiting to express his thoughts, even so, he had been holding in these feelings for a long time now.

How could it be that it took working together with you under extreme stress for him to realize that no one had seen him as a human quite like you had.

And for you, in the midst of your anxiety and strain, you consider him, in the small things he does such as ordering food, and in the large, working by your side to fight this battle day and night.

Dark evening nights bled into fresh mornings, unearthing the man who had threatened you had been the both of your main goals but along the way Toji grew more and more comfortable thinking of you as a friend.

In the past, when you had asked him to consider you as a friend, he would mentally roll his eyes. You were his employer, it was out of the question. But now? He found himself wondering why "friendship" seemed too gentle a term. Why is it he was wanting more?

You on the other hand, you had learned long ago to be honest with yourself. Even before, when you felt giddiness at his appearance or when you noticed yourself fixing your hair in the car, you were able to recognize your attraction to the man.

This attraction was not just physical though, he was dedicated and kind, humble and brave. You wouldn't say it, no matter how much your heart melted when you saw his nature.

Especially not now, when you needed to prioritize your dog.

Your hands shook as the attorney described the process of what defending you in court would look like. As it had turned out, despite there being a real case against your dog, there was still but a little evidence to suggest that your dog had initiated anything.

You also learned that the plaintiff not coming to you for months after the event was not a good look for them. Each passing hour, the ache in your heart would lessen. The beginnings of your chest easing helped you prepare yourself for the proceedings.

What you had not expected was how the dog that had attacked Toji was an unregistered working animal.

This would suggest that the work the dog was trained for was illegal or nefarious in some other nature.

In all honesty, you had expected the man who had shown up at your door to have been running a puppy mill of some sort.

Far from your realm of possibility was how dark the world could truly be. Toji had taken it upon himself to "do some digging", only to find that the Tosa Inu that had put your dog in the animal hospital over night had been an underground fighting dog.

The more you listened to what that could possibly mean, the sicker you felt. You were even more grateful to Toji though. He insisted that he hadn't hired a PI or anything, simply stating that he "knew a guy" who could uncover whatever had been happening behind the scenes.

Gambling was illegal in all areas of Japan but even worse was dog fighting. Several prefectures, including Tokyo had the act banned and on the level that this ring was operating, it was fair to assume other crimes were occurring behind the scenes. Betting on dog fights merely scratched the surface it seemed.

Even knowing all this, it wasn't until animal welfare organizations got involved, promising to back you in any way, that you began to rest easier at night.

You had spent what felt like an eternity yet somehow a blink of time making legal arguments in your office. You worked until your brain hurt and your eyes strained from the light of the computer screen.

During working hours, your attorney would occasionally be at your residence, working with yourself and Toji. Witnesses to Toji's injury, and your dog's behavior needed to be called forth, receipts and bills from the veterinary hospital needed to be located and confirmed for court proceedings, photographs of the scene in which the dog fighting ring was located needed to be confirmed. It all took far longer than you were expecting.

After working hours you would find yourself writing down your thoughts, hoping your lawyer was right to presume a positive fate. With the only companion you had known for years on the line however, it was a challenge to remain calm.

With his constant and unwarranted vigilance, you insisted Toji stay with you at the house. He had stayed in the guest room before and if he was so determined to help, the least you could do is offer him a place to stay.

It didn't take much convincing on your part, he stood by you through the whole ordeal.

One night, after a particularly grueling day of unburying evidence of animal abuse, you sat on your couch, tenderly stroking your dogs neck as tension built within your own.

It was funny to think that not even a month ago taking off this much work would be unthinkable to you. For the first time in your life, you had burned through all of your PTO, vacation, and sick leave. You were lucky enough to have an employer, though unperturbed by your usual overworking nature, was willing to be lenient with your schedule due to the nature of the issue at hand.

You had been mindlessly playing with the dogs ears, staring at the noiseless television before you when the gentle steps of the man you had come to appreciate so much found their way into the living room.

"Care if I join you?" He spoke softly, perhaps worried to startle you.

Attempting a carefree manner, you tried for a grin, "Of course, come, sit down."

He shuffled closer and sat to the other end of the dog, the beast, who had all his life (to your knowledge) been inconsolably frightened by men, did not hesitate to lay his head atop Toji's thigh.

The man laced his fingers through the dogs fur, smiling softly. "How are you feeling?"

Your shoulders jitter slightly as his hand brushes your own. Your dog lifts his head a moment to look at you. Huffing he plops his head back, returning to rest on the man's leg. Your heart races like a silly schoolgirl. "Good, good, everything is really looking up, you know?" You swallow a bit, "Toji, really, I know I said it before but I just wanted to make it clear how grateful I am to you. You really don't have any obligation to be here, helping me-"

The man by your side seems to straighten a bit where he sat. His hand as stopped moving and he just looks at you.

"-ever since that day at the animal hospital, when you put the needs of my boy here over your own, before that really, I have been in your debt. I hope it was never a burden... I hope you know what a comfort your presence has been."

"No." Toji's spine is taught and he takes a gulp of air before continuing on quickly, "no- no its not a burden at all. And...owe me? How could you owe me?" He laughs a bit at the notion.

Before you interject to make some painfully sweet comment, he pushes on, "You must not know-" he stares at you now, only a few breaths away, "how...lucky I am to be able to do this job, to be of some help...to...have even met you."

He's stumbling over his words, he never does that, but you make him weak somehow. You make him want to take care with his words. You make him feel so very human, so very alive.

"Well..." You fiddle with your hands, having long since moved them to your lap to avoid the strange thumping that occurs when your fingers cross. "I feel like the lucky one."

After weeks of scouring information, preparing documents, and developing exposé's, the result you could have only prayed for arrived.

The very next morning your attorney practically bounded in through the front door. She was laughing and flinging around a written notice as if it was a ticket straight to the pearly gates of heaven. Upon the address line, in bold letters, was a miracale in ink.

"COURT FILING: DISSMISSAL "

"W-what does this mean?" You smile up at your lawyer, her hoots and hollers were contagious.

"What does it mean? It means that coward of a litigant has withdrawn the charges!"

It took a moment for the elation to fill you, you repeated her words over and over, you gave her one clear look as if to ask, 'does that mean what I think it means?"

She just nodded.

You broke down in laughs. The dog wove in between your legs sensing your joy, Toji came rushing into the foyer, words of 'what's going on?' left him before he saw you grinning on the floor, scratching the dog's neck.

He smirks as if he had been counting on this the whole time, steadily walking your way until he is within arms reach. He displays one arm stretched out to you.

Under the assumption he was going to pull you up from your spot on the ground, you reach a hand to take his own and gasp when he dips to pull you into his arms. Lifting you with a steady grip.

"Toji!" You laugh, oh how it felt good to laugh once more.

The dog circled you, panting and wiggling his butt. The other person present was talking about how you had every means to come after the man with your own counterclaim, having found so much on his name. But it was all background noise. You were too caught up in the grasp Toji had on your waist. His smile. His laugh. All of it.

It wasn't until you were placed carefully back on your own two feet that you noticed the woman awkwardly grinning at the two of you.

You knew that you might still have a fight ahead of you, and it was one you would willingly take. But at this very moment, you felt incandescently happy. Nobody was taking your baby from you, and in all these efforts, it seemed you had made a close friend.

And perhaps even a connection verging dangerously close to something more.

Some cheap barbecue spot was not what you had expected when you told Toji you would get him whatever he liked in celebration.

"Honestly, I only started eating well when I began looking after your place." Toji takes a piece of beef that he grilled and placed it onto your plate, taking a spoonful of broth for himself.

"That's funny, I kind feel the same, I got so nervous that you wouldn't have anything to eat that I started planning for my groceries." You look down at the bite he prepared for you and smile.

The man before you narrows his eyes, "Well... I'm glad you started eating better." He spins his chopsticks around and flips some meat over on the grill.

"You know...you never asked for anything-" You start, recalling how you had left a note in the early days asking if there was something he wanted from the store.

"You never had to get me anything." Toji grins, "You've been more than generous."

There's a long pause occupied by the both of you taking bites of your dinner and smiling. You'd been doing that an awful, you realize and compose yourself, slightly embarrassed, "I don't think you know how much I appreciate you, Toji." You point an accusing finger at him.

And you don't know how much I love hearing you say my name he thought but kept it to himself.

"Nahhhh, I think I do. You kinda wear your heart on your sleeve."

You roll your eyes, recalling how he had seen you in so many positions, the awkward early phase, angry, teary, even sick, he had seen it all. Once again, you cringe at how much of you he knows.

"If you knew you wouldn't be calling me generous. Before I had someone I could trust with the house and dog, I was so stressed all the time. Work was piling up and I hated leaving home, knowing he would be anxious."

You recall all the nights before Toji when you tearfully considered rehoming your most loyal partner.

"Well now you're free to overwork yourself from the comfort of your office." He teases.

The two of you went on eating and poking fun at each other. Every little instance of connection between you two drew you both closer. Dark times bring out the true nature of individuals and identify exactly who someone is.

And who you were was everything he desired.

Dedicated, hardworking, kind.

Even Toji was surprised by his own unquestioning nature when it came to helping you. He would do whatever it took to see you happy.

Toji had insisted on driving you to dinner. He told you he was taking you to his favorite spot. For a time, he was embarrassed by his car, seeing you sitting in the passenger seat almost felt like a sin but you just grinned at him, and conversed easily.

He felt like a student again, driving as carefully as ever to ensure the safety of such precious cargo.

At the end of the night, when he pulled up your drive way, he told you to stay seated.

Confused, you couldn't help laughing when he came around to get the door for you.

A part of you, however small, hoped he wasn't just teasing. Hoped he might see you as more than his employer. Hoped this connection between you two would not end with the resurgence of the sun.

You tell him he didn't have to walk you to the door but he just scoffs and bares the cold by your side. The celebration was still fresh between you.

You didn't even have your hand on the door yet, everything of the day was weighing on you, the way he had lifted you up and held you, all the smiles you shared, all the easy conversation. You knew it had to stop, or you might end up deluding yourself further than you already had.

"I think it's fair to say you've gone above and beyond dog sitter status, Toji. I'm sure you'll enjoy staying at your place for once."

You had meant it lightheartedly. You really had felt bad these nights when he worked into the evening, staying in your guest room to support you. Pulling out his reading glasses for the first time in years. Despite your blithe attitude, he seemed to get all serious.

He looks at his shoes for a moment, the wind chilled you to the bone but Toji doesn't flinch.

Everything in Toji's mind was telling him to keep his mouth shut.

He was nothing special to you, no matter how kindly you told him otherwise. He had nothing to offer you. He was an ally cat of a man to your show cat of a women. He was never going to be any more than the dog sitter. Why risk the best position he had ever been granted? Why put an end to this dream he had been living?

But Toji has never been the type to hold back.

"I don't think I can keep on like this."

He doesn't look at you, still too occupied by the pavement.

"What?" Barely a beat had passed before you try to bend and catch his eye but he lifts his face to the heavens.

At one point, money was all Toji cared for, he was willing to do anything for it, but now, he was feeling things he hadn't felt since he was a boy, maybe things he never had before.

"This..." He sighs and finally gives you a resolute look, "this is my job."

You're taken aback. Replaying the words a hundred times within a millisecond. Trying to see his meaning. The words hurt, yes, you knew you paid him. Of course none of his actions meant anything more than job security. But as much as you had told yourself to be realistic, his kind and selfless attitude had started to leak into your brain, making you feel special.

You step back, still not opening the door. Wanting now to see him leave. To solidify this moment. "Right. Yes, Toji, of course."

He's still looking at you, pupils blown wide but he doesn't hesitate. "I'm afraid you’re gonna have to find someone else." in stark contrast to before, he never strays from your vision. He shakes his head as if to say, 'no'.

"What?" You repeat. Suddenly afraid of his meaning you try to take a step down to meet him at the landing but he holds up a hand. "What do you mean?"

Had it been too much? The court case? The working together? Had it only been pleasant for you? All those nights chatting on the couch, all those sweet "goodnight's"?

He pulls back his hand, one quick inhalation of the night's air was all the courage he could summon and coincidentally, all he required, "I've got these feelings that aren't exactly appropriate for the workplace."

All to be heard are the whistles of wind on the trees.

"So I think it might be best-" He's shaking his head again, not believing a word, "for you to find someone...less...attached."

It makes him chuckle, as broken as this moment makes him feel. How long has it been since he has been attached, since he has felt like this at all. How silly.

"Toji...Toji what are you saying?"

"All of this" his makes a show of his hands, "all of you, who you are, how you behave, what you do for others. I never want to lose it. It's my job, but deep down...I know it's more than that." He keeps heaving in breath, making wild motions with his hand, begging you to understand, "I want to be there to take care of the dog, I want to stay and take care of you when work is too much, I want to go for walks and eat dinner together, I don't even want to be paid anymore-GOD I cannot believe I just said that-"

He's laughing but your mind is morphing back into the dreamlike notion you had been shoving away. No words escape your lips as you grab hold of his hand, "I thought...I thought you wouldn't think of me like that..."

Now he's looking at you like you've made some ridiculous joke.

"I thought you just... liked taking care of the dog..."

He guffaws. "I do..." he inhales shakily, "believe me. I do. But... I definitely like you more."

You don't even know when his hand went to graze over your cheek but suddenly, your face is feeling warm in spite of the chill.

"I-I just can't believe- I feel...Toji I was talking myself out of this just a moment ago."

His eyes go all soft, you wonder if you had ever missed this look of his, "Is it too good to be true if I guess you feel the same?" "Gosh, Toji, No! I-" You pull his hand from your cheek and use it to cover your eyes.

Not too long ago, you felt like floating, thinking the day could not possibly become greater in importance, but life has a funny way of proving us wrong.

For a moment there on the porch, you had thought that he might kiss you. Right there on your doorstep in the cold, with your dog rolling his eyes inside. But Toji didn't, in fact, he pulled himself back. Holding your hand, murmuring that he wanted to "do this right" as he played with your fingers.

And for the second time that day, you have the overwhelming desire to dance around your house. To spin and clutch your heart as impossible hope filled your senses. Only this time, as the door closes and you watch out the window, a hand clutched to your chest. You grant yourself the privilege.

A moment to yourself of pure delight.

Hidden from your view, Toji was experiencing a very similar sensation, palm displayed across his pounding heart, he settles his head against the steering wheel and wonders if this all is a dream.

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

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