#pero GRABE hindi niya deserve!!!

[datura-tea]

was going to make a real hater-ass post about this indie komiks guy whose komiks i don't like but who is getting published internationally by [redacted] but it's lent and so i'm restraining myself from saying what i want to say and instead i'm wishing him all the best

[xxmissingrose]

"Nag salary increase pa naman. Hahaha Pero mas maganda kung kasama ka pa din namin dito sa PESO lalo na sa mga travel." - Kuya Don

Nag increase yung sahod kung kailan official na resignation ko. Sign ba to para bumalik? Charrr HAHAHAHA

Ayon super happy lang ako sa team ko kasi deserve nila talaga yung salary increase kasi grabe sa pagod, puyat, at OT kami lalo na nung ber months na halos araw araw may event at travel kami tapos na delay pa yung sahod namin ng 3 months. Nakakaloka talaga yun kasi para kaming nagta-trabaho ng libre. Swerte nalang talaga kami kasi mabait yung manager namin, hindi niya kmi pinapabayaan pag may travel at event kami- sagana kami lagi sa pagkain.

Sobrang ma-miss ko sila tsaka yung mga travel namin. ☺

[bianczsx]

20241222 — 🥰

I almost slept the whole day. didn't even bother to go out my room. it's 7 pm & i just had my first meal of the day. i just love how peaceful to just shut everything down; protected my walls, set boundaries and choose my peace.

wala lang, Lord. I feel like i learned how to protect my peace over anything else. learned how to show up even sometimes life is just hard to bare. I prayed for this, it took me awhile to be this at ease.

i'm juuuuusssst happy that I am able to have a "pahinga" even i feel like i don't deserve any of it. i remember the time i was longing na "sana sunday na" bc everything felt so tiring mentally and emotionally; pero i have to be there & show up the time na i have to sa work; even i no longer have the energy to move kasi the inner me was pagod already. grabe yung linggo na 'yan feeling ko cocollapse na ako hindi man physically but mentally and emotionally.

uhm, i hope we're able not to invalidate each of us kind of "pagod" because at the end of the day we just wanted to live and survive and just u know, rest w/o the feeling of guilt.

i'll always appreciate Ma'am E's words before ako umuwi last night. she even pushes me to grab that 9 days vacation kasi alam niya na nahihiya ako. if there were persons who knows how chaotic my mind was sometimes and how difficult for me to handle some things the past weeks at work it would be her & daren. i just thank G din na i have workmates hu were der everytime i feel like i messed up with life and things. 🫶 i'm just so lowkey thankful and grateful each one of them feeling ko talaga mawawasak mental health ko nakaraan na linggo. kaya i kept on telling them na i no longer can manage & handle dramas, kasi yung utak and puso ko lately pagod na din umintindi. you know that "panu naman ako?" ganyan. the time i cried sa harap ni Daren na i felt tired pero ini-invalidate ko feelings ko kasi di naman ako aping api pero yung puso at isip ko gusto na mag shutdown.

Okay, it's just a quick rant before i'll end this day.

Thank you, Papa Lord for everyday. goodnight po.

[inkandbeer]

Nakulayan na din ang drawing. 💘

After ng ilang set nag tugma din ang sched sa wakas hahaha sobrang namiss ko tong bonding namin na to. Ilang buwan din kami hindi nakaalis since lumipat kami ng bul. Nakakatuwa lang kasi kahit na hindi kami gaano madalas mag kita o mag usap iba padin tlga yung bond namin. 14 yrs na kaming mag bff since 1st yr hs, buti nalang talaga di siya nag sasawa sakin hahaha char subukan niya lang hahahaha. Edi ayun ang agad namin ginawa ay nag hanap kami ng makakainan buti nalang nakita niya tong khao • khai sabi niya kabubukas lang daw neto, natuwa naman din ako at nacurious kasi thai food siya eto ksi talaga yung dream country ko thailand kaya agad ako umoo saknya na dun kami kakain, grabe nung nakita ko palang mga sineserve nila na pag kain ang sasarap saka worth it talaga sa price din, nasa 199+ lang din yung foods at yung drinks naman nila merong iced coffee, milk tea & soda nag range naman sila ng 109. Grabe nung pag kainom ko din ng iced coffeee ang sarap huhu kalasa niya yung kape ng vietnam promise hahahha worth it talaga yung price tapos yung serving ng foods nila sobrang dami din yung rice ganon tapos yung mga sauce din nila sobrang the best!! Kaya sa malamang neto babalikan ko ulit to. Kasi worth the price 💯 tapos after namin kumain pumunta kaming flying tiger, aliw na aliw kaming dalawa dun sa lazy glasses nakikita mo kasi kapag nakatingala ka ay yung sa ilalim lang. Tawa talaga kami ng tawa kanina halos kami lang maingay dun sa flying tiger hahaha tapos nabudol na din kami ng tote bag nung una din talaga sabi titingin lang. After naman din nyan lumipat na kami sa sm annex, nabudol kami parehas naman sa c&k dahil tong si kuyang salesman ang galing mang budol hahahaha so ayun may dalawang tao na naman na nag sabing deserved namin to. Akala mo talaga anak ni henry sy kung gumastos hay, sabing titingin lang ending inuwi hahahahaha. Promise, last na to!! Next month ulit charot (pero thankyou po talaga Lord sa blessings ✨) hahahaha tapos yun umuwi na din kami after dahil anong oras na uuwi pako ng bul at siya sa val, ang lakas din ng ulan. Biglang buhos talaga (sana walang pasok bukas) hahahaha hay ayoko na din umasa hahaha college life lang ang peg talaga hahahahahaha pero sana. :3

[akonaman]

Chikana

I had a meaningful talk with om kanina and i don't know if it was God who's moving today peroooo grabe the turn of events felt like intentional. OMT shared her experiences handling people for 18 effin years and she mentioned how draining it was and how she realized na nag matured siya in leading people nung 3rd year niya as a TL. And I was like, ako feeling koooo medyo medyo lang haha. I could hardly relate to her stories. Kung gaano kabigat kaya mag nte sa mga ahente mo, how draining it is to deal with different personalities and how you should be mentally ready with changes and all. I was on the verge of letting it all go and she had the same story before kung panong she felt like hindi to para sa kanya. At the end of the conversation she assured me how she's willing to help me without telling her what's really happening behind that conversation. I was relieved and dun ko narealize kung bakit nasa ganung position siya, kase she deserves it. More than numbers she sees me.

Nag grab din ako kanina papuntang SOMO and si kuyang driver naman played all of my favorite songs from hillsong. Then sa likod ni kuyang driver nakalagay yung verse na "For i know the plans i have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" i got goosebumps. I know that i could barely go outside his temple for i have sinned. I acknowledge all of my lapses na hindi ko na mababago pero i guess it was grace that He's trying to extend right now. These are all reminders siguro na better days will come, and i am hoping. ❤️

[slvrsray]

Habang nag ddrive ako isa lang talaga nasa isip ko, napapa pray nalang ako na sana makapasa and matapos na ng jowa ko yung thesis nila.

Grabe. Nawiwitness ko kasi yung hirap at pagod niya. Tapos sobrang hindi nila deserve pag tripan ng mga prof.

Ito yung part ng college yung hindi ko namimiss eh. Yung mapagtripan ka ng mga prof pero dinadaan ka sa grades.

[eprelthoughts]

Hi eprelthoughts!

It's been awhile, I just want to remember this moment for a long long while. As you know I'm always always a huge fan of Volleyball. Watching it makes me so happy despite not being able to play it anymore. I've been following RJN's respective clubs, early months I'm watching Ran and Yuki in Italy. Sleepless nights just to support my boys. For weekends I randomly watch games for Vleague and I've been following Masa's team as it was Jade's favorite player. As I watched their 1st game, against WD Nagoya the setter really left me in awe for his height, WHAT A TALL SETTER 😳 His power in net defense is hands down one of the best. That's when I started looking him up, Eiro Motoki. I wasn't so invested but then I usually bumped into his stories and lives, I tried my best not following but Jade just kept on sending it to me. One day I JUST GAVE IN and followed his games. I rooted for his team and seriously called them as my "Home Team"

Earlier this year he had an ankle injury, a serious one that kept him on sideline. The team's performance went downhill. You can see Eiro on the side getting frustrated. He worked hard and did lives so he can send comfort. I met my closest friends because of him. We started exchanging interaction, him greeting me a happy birthday twice this year. He's so lovely and appreciative that rooting for him became so special.

I rooted for his healing and first few games without bandage/crutches he had limited time in the court. I was so so frustrated but Motoki's not. He's so patient that he dedicated extra time after the game to get back on his usual shape. Even his team mates stayed with him on his process. Supporting him, cause he's that man who never gave up.

When he came back fully as front line, you can still see shaky performance from him. He can't catch up the ball, he cant set or block in the net aggressively as usual and that's fine. Oya was outsmarting him in Sunto games. Showing him veteran kind of confidence but again he's Motoki, the ever patient and hard working boy. I know how much he studied this game, again and again til he come back to today's stage.

And for today's game this is my take away

Grabe kasi if papanuoren mo ulit and if sinundan mo talaga sila you'll see what Wolfdogs worked on coming to this Finals.

1. More aggressive locals (Kenta - Aki).

• Eiro started distributing the sets more on locals in their Pana game. Motoki kept on gambling especially to Kenta to bring back his confidence that was challenged the past few games especially against Sunto. Kenta was targeted and disheartened by Sunbi that his reception, services and attack became shaky. Kenta made that worth every cent

2. Solid blockings, both Denda and Wang really gave Alain and Papi Fujinaka a hard time. Usually kasi either of the two lang nag wowork

• And as if on Cue, Denda deserves the Best 6 award.

3. Less service errors. You'll see how lethal Kenta's services right now. He used to have a lot of service errors.

4. Eiro's floor defense. Mahal na mahal ko si Motoki but his FD is usually meh lalo na if back row sya, definitely you'll see in this game how much he worked on his FD.

5. Them reversing Sunto's usual routine of disheartening Kenta, binaliktad nila and gave Papi Fujinaka the pressure. They kept on targetting him ng serves sa una mapapaisip ka "BAKET EH ANG GALING NIYA" pero makikita mo how he slowly started getting shaky receives, even shaky attacks. So so smart tactic na naisip nila.

6. FLOOR DEFENSE!! Nung mid season medyo nawala to talaga sakanila, nandun pero hindi kasing top tier ng usual FD nila. But this game grabe you'll see Ogawa throwing his body kahit sa impossible nang masalo na spike. Everyone's catching up the balls, even the MBs were running for it. Sobrang sipag.

----

Motoki, look at you from crying for not winning it to crying for WINNING IT

I just want to remember today cause you were a part of my birthday wish. Congratulations to the love of my life Eiro Motoki-kun 🖤 My home team Wolfdogs Nagoya. I enjoyed the past 7 months together 🥳🥇

[barakongpilipina]

Hello Tumblr!! It’s been a while! Balik ako ulit sa’yo kasi feeling ko hindi na ako safe outside your world haha chz

2025 na! I’m hoping na maging prosperous itong taon na ito sa ating lahat. Grabe lang yung 2024 sakin. Roller coaster of emotions yung pinadama —excitement, stress, agony, grief, confusion, doubt, at ease, emptiness, lost.

Last 2024,

I made new friends. I met them sa codm. Joined a new clan, although not competitive. Nameet ko na rin yung dalawa sa new friends ko. I must say, magtatagal naman kami as friends hahaha De, ang galing lang kasi, nagkakajive kami ng ugali at mga gusto sa buhay. Bihira lang makatagpo ng ganun. At least for me, na hindi naman social butterfly at friendly na tao hehe

Nakabalik ako ulit ng Baguio to unwind. Grabe yung stress at burnout na binigay sakin ng work ko nitong 2024. Samahan mo pa ng maaattitude na workmates hahaha kaya deserve ko talaga marelax kahit papaano. Ewan ko ba, everytime na stressed ako, gusto ko sa Baguio pumunta. There’s something in Baguio na nakakapagparelax. It gives me peace of mind. Di ko sure if dahil lang sa weather doon or chill ang buhay doon. Basta ang bagal ng oras pag nandoon ako. Para akong niyayakap ng malamig na hangin.

My papa passed away last March. Ito na ata yung pinakamalungkot na pangyayari nitong 2024. Ang hirap pala mawalan ng mahal sa buhay. Feeling ko di ako makakamove on. Kahit na medyo hindi kami in good terms ni Papa, sobrang naheart broken ako. Pero di ko pwede iparamdam kasi as a panganay, kailangan kong ipakita na malakas ako para sa family ko. I haven’t had a chance to mourn properly. Kasi if magpapakalugmok ako, hindi ko mabigigyan nang maayos na burial at funeral si Papa. No more pain, Pa. Sana masaya ka diyan sa heaven!

I was ghosted by a friend. Ito yung friend na naikwento ko na dito. Yung nakilala ko rin sa codm. Huling interaction namin was nung nagpaabot ako ng pakikiramay nung mamatay yung lola niya. Nagreact lang siya sa message ko. After that, hindi na siya nagreply or even react, seen lang. Ang huling balita ko lang sakanya sabi ng tito niya na nakakalaro ko rin sa codm ay nagshift na raw to ML, lumipat ng Mt. Province, may family matters sila na confidential na di pwede idiscuss. Idk, feeling ko lang about yun sa depression niya. Sana mali ako. I hope he’s doing well in life and happy.

Ninang na ako! Can’t believe I’m at this age na talaga. One of my hs friends, may family na and kinuha niya ako bilang ninang ng anak niya. Wala lang, I just realized that I’m not getting any younger. Medyo napressure ako sa life. Pero anong gagawin ko? I don’t wanna rush things. Gusto ko well prepped ako once sumabak ako sa panibagong yugto ng aking buhay.

Panibagong taon na naman. Panibagong pagsubok ulit sa buhay but this time, I’ll really try my very best to:

Be more organized, diligent, and early. Mapa-to-do’s sa work or personal matters. Ayoko na ng magulong takbo ng buhay haha. Last year, buong taon akong late sa trabaho so kailangan na bumawi hahaha

Be financially literate and responsible. Kailangan matrack ko na talaga this time yung mga expenses ko. As a dukha na may malaking responsibilidad, hindi ppwede na mapunta ang pera sa walang kasaysayang bagay. Although siyempre, maglalaan pa rin tayo sa mga leisure trips kahit papaano. Importante pa rin ang mental health.

Live a healthy life. As I mentioned, I’m not getting any younger. I’m already 27. So I should watch my diet and get enough sleep. More veggies and fruits at makapagexercise kahit simple physical activities lang (sana talaga mapanindigan ko ‘to). Need to lose pounds na rin. I have been stressed eating last year so kailangan bumawi sa katawan. Sana maipagpatuloy ko yung HMO na nainvest ko. At madagdagan pa for my mother.

Save, save, save for house & lot. Alam kong matagal-tagal na proseso ito. Pero kailangan ko na siya masimulan. Tutal, graduate naman na yung kapatid ko. Kahit papaano may katuwang na ako sa mga gastusin. Mas makakapag-ipon ako.

Treat my family once in a while. Gusto ko maiparanas, most especially kay mama, yung mga bagay na hindi pa niya nararanasan. Sana talaga umulan ng pera this year hahaha

Be consistent. Kailangan pa ba ito iexplain? Hahaha

Crossing my fingers very tightly na magagawa ko lahat ng ito. Welcome back to me! Cheers to 2025!

[benefits1986]

fool circle

Seeing the circle of life up close is just weird and wonderful.

Tatay ko: Grabe naman manlibre pinsan mo sa'yo. Me: Ako nga dapat magbabayad para ma-take out natin 'yung mga tira pero sinungitan na naman ako ni Engineer. Siya raw bahala. Unahan ko na talaga siya mag-advance payment next time. Tatay ko: Ansarap ng food. Parang nasa Binondo lang pero 'di na kailangang pumunta sa malayo. Saka 'yung taro puff, napaka sarap pala nun. Me: Puro ka kasi spareribs saka chicken feet. Tatay ko: Spoiled ka talaga. Me: Parang 'di naman. Matagal lang kaming 'di nagkita saka sinulit natin ang IF.

The super overdue meet up with my anak-anakan who's slaying the small niche business grind, his wifey, and of course, E finally came to life. LOL. Partida, apaka lapit pa namin sa isa't isa niyan a. E is electromagnetic. Alam mo 'yung napaka adorable niya and graceful. Damnnnn. Tatay kong magaling hiniram at iginala sa labas ng resto of the day. Aba. Tuwang-tuwa pagbalik at pawis-pawis siya. Feel na feel pagka-lolo niya. In fairness, iba talaga 'pag babae. Tapos, sabi niya later, naalala raw niya 'yung toddler days ko. SHET. Hahahaha. Sociable daw ako. Me like: Tacca. 'Di totoo 'yan. Hahahaha. 'Wag daw akong magmarunong kasi siya ang nakakaalam ng lahat. Tatay ko, rumarampa kasama ng apu-apohan niya. My dad has to settle with living vicariously through E. Bahala na siya diyan.

Seeing my dad and E holding hands make me go ugh. Hahahahahaha. Menopause, be mine. Dali. Though, etong gago kong anak-anakan legit nagulat kasi nga, 'di talaga ako nagiinteract sa mga babies and toddlers. Sabi ba naman na marunong daw pala akong kumarga. Me like, duh. Huy. Nung babies kayo na medyo malaki na, kinakarga ko kaya saka binabantayan. 'Wag mo kong hamunin. All along, akala niya pala na 'di ako marunong kumarga ng bata. Looking back, ilang babies lang nakarga ko. As in. Especially sa big crazy fambam side kasi nga, noona is not budging. LOL.

Eto kasing si E very girly and smart. Tapos ambango niya. Amoy Cetaphil. May signature scents ang babies and toddlers. Siguro kasi mahilig sila sa gatas? Basta. Favorite feature ko sa kanya eyelashes and teeth niya. Super love. Tapos nalaman ko, gusto niya ng Lego. Hala sige. Take my soul na po tayo before dessert sa suking Tita Place with Playplace.

Excited si E pumasok ng Lego store. Ako rin. Handa tayo for today. Then, ayun. Pili-pili. Ngayon ko lang nagets why may 2+ years old etc mga laruan. Ngayon lang ako nagka-pake. Pero arguable pa rin. Though sabi ng magulang ni E na may times nisusubo ni E mga ibang smaller Lego from suking Shopee. Sabi ko it's time na itapon ang Shopee Lego (not legit) and punuin ang bahay nila ng legit Lego. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wala naman akong pake kung building blocks na generic laruan ni E pero kita ko talaga galak niya sa Lego store. She deserves it. HALA. As a noona na naman po tayong sumisibat.

'Yung age niya, mga tag-1K-ish ang recommendation ng staff. Pero no, no, no, no. Ang gusto niya 'yung fave niya Mickey and Minnie na train. It's giving Hogwarts Express x Disney Classics eleganza. Since kakabirthday lang niya, super bet the cupcake with a candle. HUHUHUHU. And the best element is that the Lego has components na may pa-numbers from 1 to 5. HUHUHUHUHUHU.

Niyakap ni E 'yung chosen Lego box. Buti, hindi super mahal. HAHAHAHAHAHA. And then boogsh, bilhin na 'yan. She brought it by herself to the counter. Kaya pala medyo mababa counter sa Lego store na 'to. Nakangiti pa siya. Nagpa-thank you. My heart didn't melt but 'yung inner children ko, pumapayagpag. LOL. E thanked me again. I think 'di ko siya inaanak e. Nag-no yata ako? Minus points na naman tayo neto.

One other thing I like sa paginteract sa chosen kiddos is super soft ang supple ng tiny hands nila. Then, iba when they hold onto to your hand. OPAK. Basta. I can't super duper explain it but 'yung trust nila, 100000%. Saka ayun, unadulterated vibe 10000000. O baka naiimagine ko lang talaga 'yun as a fan of tactile things.

Lakad-lakad kami with her oversized Lego paperbag. Aba. Mukhang shopaholic 'tong batang ere. Hahahahaha. Lagot. Boogsh. Kahit hirap siya mag-walk at naiinip na ang noona niyo, push-push siya. Si E hindi spoiled pero sobrang galing mang-persuade. JUSQ.

Usapang school and the works na. Ako nasa bento box on her first day as a noona. HAHAHAHHA. Priorities, you know. Noona lang naman ako. 'Di naman ako kasali sa tuition fee na jusqdhzai. Natanong po tayo kung ano bang opinyon kong walang basis masyado. Nagulat na naman kasi paano ko raw nalalaman mga insider info na wala sa online. Me: I have friends na may school-age kiddos na kasi. 'Yun lang. Forced into information na 'di halata sa itchura kong weird.

Syempre, may curation tayo ng mga schools na 'di lang pang-folio, pang-social skills and mentoring pa. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And I firmly believe na South is where the kiddos grow up better. LOL. Akala mo naman may lived experience ako sa non-South noh? Bias ko kasi nga, mas less densely populated dito. Saka 'di talaga mahirap mag-move around sa South. Plus, again, 'yung mga shitshow dito, 'di super dami. But when they do, headline na super sensational.

Swerte lang din because I have a few good friends na underrated sa early childhood education sphere. Alam mo 'yung teacher na sobrang love na love niya kiddos niya? And her folio is super progressive. As in. And 'yung small school niya, laban na laban sa Poveda, Xavier, and the works. Ganern.

Ang aga-aga na naman pero kasi may tinatawid tayo in the name of McQueen naman. Sa next pakawala na lang 'to kasi I'm still processing and strategizing how to go about it. Boogsh. Nagkita kasi sila ni E forda first time. And seeing my brother and my anak-anakan na almost the same age, I find myself coming to a kinda full circle. Shemay. May junakis na sila just like that. E mga 'to pinalaki ko. Hahahaha.

Syempre, 'di pa rin sila naayaw na mag-junaks na rin ang noona niyo. Me: Ay. Nadaanan ko na 'yan e. Thanks sa inyong dalawa. Ang hahassle niyo. Weird lang talaga na 'di ako nagce-crave magka-babe. As in. Kasi etong si E, as in, budol. Happy ako na zooming in, zooming out flow ko. And actually, the more I see the kiddos of my "kiddos" up close, mhieee, I KENNAT TALAGA. Hahahaha. On top of the estimated 18M price point to raise a kiddo decently sa baseline, it's a waste of time. E limited time only lang us. LOL.

Plus, ang hassle ng maraming dala. Paghanap ng elevator. Pag-consider ng kung anong gusto nilang kainin at ayaw nila. Anong allergies nila. Anong mood nila. Anong mood swing 01, 02, 03, etc. of the day nila. Anong susuotin na comfy and hindi pawis. Anong next nilang shots. Anong 'di dapat at dapat gawin bilang very bad example talaga tayo in all levels. Namiss ko dogs ko, honestly. No joke 'yan. No pun. LOL.

Anong lesson ng story na 'to? Wala. Wala ring abangan sa part na 'to because at the end of the catch up, I smile a bit. The answer is a solid NO. Pero again, kung makakahabol man, shemay. I KENNAT. Divine intervention god-tier levels na talaga 'yan.

[parasaparaluman]

Shootout

It's a given na since it's already June, we're really squeezing everything into wedding preparation and while itong blog post ko is in relation to that, feeling ko it deserves its own highlight. What I would like to mention is my groomsmen's and I's bachelor's party.

Nung nagiisip ako ng pwedeng gawin with my groomsmen, and mind you - yes ako talaga ang nagisip kasi most guys are not really into planning and kung meron man, well, at least they're not my groomsmen. Kaya ako na talaga ang nagkusa na magisip at magsearch ng pwedeng gawin. Usually naman, ang mga bachelor's party ay in a form of inuman pero knowing them, di naman sila lahat umiinom kaya I had to think of something na lahat makakarelate or at least, mageenjoy. And I ended up with paintball.

It's unusual, I know. Pero alam ko na mageenjoy kaming lahat dun at since may 2 na naging 3 na batches ng groomsmen ang meron ako, a team game will at least give an opportunity for us to collaborate.

Luckily, yung nahanap ko na place is just along Sumulong Highway papunta sa Antipolo Church. This is already convenient kesa sa pumunta pa kami kung saan like the South. Since ako naman yung groom and I guess ako kasi nagsuggest, buti at pumayag naman yung mga ininvite ko na taga-South.

Beforehand, alam ko naman na medyo masakit at talaga namang nakakapagod ang paintball but still, di naman ulit ako magkakaroon ng opportunity to rally some friends para maglaro ng paintball with me kaya nag-go na ako.

On the day of the game, umaga palang eh active na kami. 8am kasi ung game namin, up until 12nn. Naisipan ko na maaga para less mainit at para din may enough time pa makauwi yung mga galing South.

Overall impression sa game at sa experience namin: nakakapagod. Masaya naman siya, really. Pero for me, since beginners palang kami, mas okay sana kung equal grounds yung playing field. Appreciate ko yung nasa gubat talaga kami para mas maraming lugar para magtago pero mobility-wise, pick a position, try not to get shot, and try to eliminate enemies lang talaga. Sobrang hirap mapa-uphill or downhill kasi maliban sa aalalahanin mo na matatamaan ka ng bala, iisipin mo pa kung madudulas ka ba or hindi.

It's a good experience overall pero kung uulitin ko man, baka dun nalang siguro sa may pintura na semento na parang sa mga basketball court nalang. At least, mabilis tumakbo, magslide, at talaga namang kayang mag-capture the flag. Kahit pa ba grabe ang hingal ko after the first two rounds. Di ko maalala when ako naging ganun ka-exhausted to the point na feeling ko mahihimatay ako. Di ko alam, ang bilis ng heartbeat ko, nauuhaw ako at pawisan. Di ko lang talaga naramdaman nung naglalaro kami gawa ng adrenaline rush. Ganun pala yun no? Tapos maiipon nalang hanggang sa babagsak na once naka-settle ka na. Umulan pa nga nung last round namin pero buti at tumigil din agad.

After nun, kami ay kumain na sa Mang Inasal sa Masinag. Naubos na yung mga conversation namin sa coffee shop habang hinihintay si Evan kaya nung kainan na, focus kami lumamon sa pagod at gutom. Dahil food coma pagkatapos, lutang na ang karamihan at inaantok na. Saglit lang yung naging celebration namin pero sulit na rin.

Nagextend lang ako ng stay to hangout with Evan. Supposedly kasama kasi siya sa laro namin kaso nagkaroon siya ng fracture during a basketball game daw kaya di siya nakasali. Instead, humabol nalang siya sa kainan then naghangout kami sa Coco after. Nothing special, kamustahan. Lalo na't aalis siya papuntang Norway kasama ang family niya for a vacation.

Si Laira naman, on the other hand, naka-dalawang bridal shower na. First is with her close friends sa school and second is yung sa school mismo para makahalubilo yung ibang mga teachers din. Ako, meron dapat isa pa with my teammates at work kaso I decided na i-postpone nalang seeing na andami pa naming kailangan asikasuhin at talagang wala ng mailalabas na pera pa.

Gusto ko na ba matapos ang wedding para makahinga na sa gastusin? Sort of. Pero feeling ko, ayokong matapos ang wedding day namin dahil it's going to be my and Laira's very special day.

[kimmysiops]

This isn't home anymore.

Bakit ganon? I don't feel safe here anymore. Hindi naman tayo ganito dati e:( Bakit naging ganito? WHYYYYY? Ayaw na ayaw ko naman talaga mag bago tingin ko sa inyo e, lalo na kay dadi kasi little siopao ako niyan e. Pero wala e:( Sobrang na trauma ako sainyo.

Lots of achievements this year but i don’t even get a “congrats im proud of you”

Si dadi, ni hindi na alam kung ano edad ko. Si mami, hindi na alam kung anong nangyayari sa school na lagi niyang inaalam dati. Small thing pero masakit para sa‘kin, kasi those things are important to me e. Bakit tayo nag bago?

Sobrang nangungulila na ako sa magulang ko. Nasaan na po kayo? Nakalimutan niyo na ata ako:(

Simula nung mid November hanggang ngayon, walang gabi na hindi ako umiyak dahil sa inyo. Kaya nagulat talaga ako nung napansin ni ate Z na namamaga mukha ko. Nung tinanong niya na “Umiyak ka kagabi ‘no?” tangina shet hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot e. Pero alam ko naman na alam na ni ate Z kung ano ‘yung dahilan. Buti pa siya napapansin niya ‘no.

Never na atang mawawala ‘yung trauma ko tuwing uuwi kayo, lalo na kapag alam kong lasing si dadi. Kapag uuwi kayo galing sa plaridel, kinakabahan ako kasi alam kong pagod kayo, baka mapagbuntongan niyo na naman ako. Kasi ganon naman lagi e. Kahit na ginawa ko ‘yung mga dapat kong gawin, basta pagod kayo balewala lahat ‘yun. Kapag uuwi kayo galing inuman, sobrang lala ng anxiety ko na parang bumabaliktad ‘yung sikmura at pagkatao ko sa sobrang takot. Kasi last time tangina hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko e. Ilang araw akong hindi nakatulog nun.

Sobrang natatakot ako kapag alam kong pagod kayong dalawa kasi alam kong mababaling sa‘kin ‘yung pagod niyo. Naiintindihan ko po ‘yun araw araw, kahit na sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam okay lang kasi naiintindihan ko kayo. Pati sa mga kapatid ko, natatakot na ako. Si kuya ni hindi ko maramdaman. ‘Yung bigat tsaka talim ng mga salita niya sa‘kin minsa, tumatatak talaga sa‘kin e. The way ako sagot sagutin ni Awi ngayon na parang wala lang ako sa kanya, masakit ‘yun. Sobra akong nasasaktan sa mga sinasabi at ginagawa niyo, pero wala kayong naririnig sa‘kin ni minsan kasi iniintidi ko kayo. Pero paano ako? Sinong iintindi sa‘kin? Lagi nalang ba ako? Ako laging sasalo? Grabe naman pagiging emotional punching bag ko dito.

‘Yung kahit hindi naman kami broken family pero super naiingit ako sa mga pamilyang nakikita ko sa Facebook tsaka sa mall. Kasi we used to be like that. Ngayon, kahit pasko at bagong taon, parang wala sila. Hindi ko sila maramdaman. Minsan lang mag pasko at bagong taon si dadi dito pero parang wala lang. Sobrang hinintay ko ‘yung Christmas tsaka New Year kasi nandito si dadi, pero wala, ang tamlay nilang lahat. Si kuya parehong special occasion, wala. Ano bang nangyayari sa‘tin? :(

Lord, I'm so sorry po kung lagi kong kwine-kwestyon kung bakit ganito nangyayari sa‘min. Alam ko naman pong may dahilan ka kung bakit nangyayari ‘to pero ang bigat po kasi:( Hanggang imagine nalang po ba ‘yung pamilyang gusto ko? Feeling ko malapit na ako mabaliw kaka-imagine ng masayang pamilya e.

Tapos ngayon wala na si Eli:( Halos siya nalang nakakasama ko araw araw e. I'll miss my baby so so much☹️ Ta’s balak na ipamigay ‘yung ibang dogs. Tangina literal na nawalan na ng pamilya e.

Naging masama ba akong anak at kapatid? Deserve ko ba ‘to?

[yourshiningastr]

CHAPTER 30

"You. Are you going somewhere?" Panandalian akong nawala sa mga iniisip ko nang pumasok si Jacksion sa kwarto.

"Huh?" I arch my brow at him. Tumabi ito sakin sa pagtayo at tumingin din sa labas ng bintana.

"I mean, earlier.. You were just bluntly giving all those lands and properties as if aalis ka at hindi na babalik. I mean okay lang naman since maganda na makalanghap ka ng bagong environment" Hindi ako sumagot dito at hinayaan siyang magsalita..

"Saan bansa ka ba pupunta? May naisip ka na ba? Dito ka pa din naman mag Bibirthday diba?"

"Naghahanda si Yna para doon. Magagalit sayo yun kapag umalis ka before that special day of yours." I heaved a sigh and smiled.

"I don't know, basta gusto ko sa malayo." He looked at me with innocent eyes.

"Why don't you try going to Spain, sa Madrid? May kakilala ako doon, he will take care of you! Sabihan mo lang ako kung kailan para matawagan ko siya." Napangiti ako sa sigla ng boses nito. I then turn my gaze on the window and stare their lawn outside.

"How are you? I heard you have a girl now. Seryosohan na ba yan?" Jackson scoffed and lightly rolled his eyes at me.

"Kailan ba ako hindi nagseryoso?" Nakakunot noo nitong tanong.

"Uhm... lagi?" Jacksion sneers and glared at me.

"Grabe! Ang sama talaga ng tingin mo sakin noh? Nakakapagsisi tuloy na naging crush kita." I arch my brow and tilted my head to look at him.

"You really had a crush on me?" Jacksion shook his head and chuckled.

"Oo na nga! pero hindi ibig sabihin nun maganda ka. Wala pa lang akong nakikitang anghel nun, ngayon meron na." Natawa naman ako sa pagmamayabang niya na yun.

"So you mean, you have an angel now?" I tilted my head again to get a proper look at his peaceful face.

His eyes are getting dreamy, I guess he's really in love huh? Good for him.

"Yeah, her voice is just so calm and soothing. Her face is just incomparable to others, and her heart... Her heart is just too good to be true. Sobrang bait, sobrang ganda.." I smiled warmly when I saw how his eyes flickered with joy.

Animo'y kaharap ang babaeng kinukwento niya.

"I'm happy you found someone now." He looked at me and smiled.

"Yes, and she wants to meet you. Lagi kitang kinukwento doon. "

I wanna meet her too..

"Hindi mo na pala kailangan ng guardian angel kasi may angel ka na?" Pabiro kong sabi dito.

"Hindi kailangan ang guardian angel sa demonyong katulad ko. Kahit nga siya, hindi niya ako deserve. Hanggang ngayon nagtataka pa din ako kung bakit niya ako nagustuhan. I mean alam ko namang gwapo ako, given na yun. Pero sa ugali.. Eeekk fail!" Sabay kaming tumawa sa sinabi nito.

"Maybe because she found something good in you that you haven't seen before." I look around his face as I tried to memorize it.

"You know other people are the only ones who can really see the good in us. In our eyes, we are full of scars and insecurity but to other people who have the clear sight of our soul, they can see the beauty that we failed to accept ourselves." I tapped his shoulder and smiled at him.

"It takes a lot of courage to see your own beauty, maybe that's why we need someone in our life even if we are strong enough to be alone because they will be the one who will teach us how to properly open our eyes." Ngumiti ako

"So you're lucky to have someone like her. Keep her and love her as much as how she loves you." Jacksion then looked at me in a serious manner.

"You will find yours too, Rae. So live." Natigilan ako at tumingin dito..

I know that he knows. We spent our childhood days together. He can feel it, he is not that fool not to know.

"I know you're tired, you must really hate yourself now. You must have run out of reasons to live for yourself."

"If so, don't live for yourself then. Live for that someone who was patiently waiting for you. Live for that someone who will see the beauty in you." Hirap itong humarap at tumitig sakin. Hinawakan nito ang dalawang balikat ko at malalim na nagbuntong hininga.

" I wish for your happiness... we all do."

I wish for my happiness too... Every single day.

"Ma'am Rae, kami na po diyan!" Napalingon ako sa mga katulong na tumatakbo papalapit sakin.

It's June 24 at muli na naman akong nakabalik sa bahay namin. Napilit ko na si Yna na hindi sumama pero ang sabi nito ay susunod siya at susunduin ako bago ang graduation.

Hinayaan ko naman ang mga katulong na buhatin ang ilang mga gamit na dala ko.

Pagkapasok ko sa bahay ay hindi na ako nagtaka nang matagpuan ko si Tristan na nakaupo sa living room.

Nakapolo ito ngayon at iba sa damit na lagi nitong suot kapag nagtatrabaho siya sa plantation. Desente at gwapong gwapo. Napangiti naman ako sa naisip kong iyun.

"Rae! Pasensya na at nandito ako agad, hindi kasi ako makapaniwala sa balitang nalaman ko kaya pumunta agad ako nang nalaman ko na uuwi ka ngayon." I nodded at him and smiled.

Tumawag ako ng kasambahay at nanghingi ng meryenda bago maupo sa harap nito.

"Ano bang balita ang nalaman mo?" Malumanay kong tanong sakanya.

"S-sakin mo daw ipinangalan ang plantasyon? Totoo ba iyun?" Napangiti ako sa gulat at hindi makapaniwala nitong mukha. Umaasang kasinungalingan lang ang balitang narinig.

"Totoo nga, nakita ko kung gaano ka kasipag at kaloyal na trabahador sa Plantation." He faced me uneasily.

"P-pero bakit sa akin? Marami ang mas deserving para doon. At isa pa masipag akong magtrabaho dahil may sweldo, walang ibig sabihin iyun!" Napangiti ako sa pag papanic ng boses nito.

"Kinausap ka ba nila Tito?" His eyes widened and with that, I already know what was making him uneasy.

"Don't worry, I have a trusted lawyer that will help you. Hindi na sila makakalapit sayo ngayon." He furrowed his brow and bit his lower lips.

"Pero bakit nga ako? Bakit sakin mo binibigay?"

"You've mentioned before that you want to have a plantation right? So here it is, tada! My gift!" Pagbibiro ko dito na mukhang hindi naman bumenta dahil seryoso pa din ang mukha.

"Hindi ako nakikipagbiruan, Rae. Hindi ko kayang hawakan ang ganitong kalaking negosyo." Giit nito

"I told you, I have a lawyer that will help you. You already have a basic knowledge about planting and managing our farmers before and you're also studying agriculture. You are the perfect person for this kind of job. You deserve this." Gusto pa uli nito humindi ngunit umiling na ako.

"I know I am being selfish right now, I am leaving you with no choice. But you are the only trusted person of mine na alam kong kaya hawakan ang negosyo na ito. I believe in you, Tristan. Don't worry I have a lot of people that will help you, just give them a call. I have already briefed them about it." Nakakunot pa din ang noo nito at seryosong nakatingin sakin.

"Bakit ba kung magsalita ka ay parang namamaalam ka?" I stilled at my seat and looked away.

Damn, this man is smart. I can't let him see what's inside this facade of mine.

"S-so anyway, you don't have any choice but to handle this business. My decision is final." Huminga ito ng malalim at tumayo na.

"Wag kang mag alala, aalagaan ko ang plantasyon at kapag okay ka na at kaya mo na. Ibabalik ko yun sayo. Salamat, Rae. See you.." I wanted to tell him see you too pero ayoko naman siya agad makita kapag wala na ako.

1 message from an unknown number.

From: 09662—

Okay na po, ma'am.

I smiled as I read the message. I suddenly remembered that kid's innocent and warm smile on me when I gave her the money and food in the jeep. I hope she's happy with my gift.

Tomorrow came and I woke up early to finish everything. I look for Marina, the daughter of Manang pero wala na daw ito sa bahay nila. I called the number I called last time hoping she'll answer it pero mukhang nagpalit na ng sim ito dahil hindi ko na macontact.

I was planning to give them the mansion because Manang spent almost all her life here serving us. I wanted to at least give them a house full of her memory.

It was then lunch time when Yna called me. She's been asking me kung kumain na ba ako and such, pati ang paliligo ko ay tinatanong niya. I know she's just ensuring that I am fine, well and breathing.

Well, I still am. Not until I talked to my mom. I need to see and talk to her first.

After lunch, I called our driver and asked him to take me where my mom was. We went to the hotel that she stayed at when the chaos happened but she wasn't there anymore.

I wanted to talk to her at least, I wanted to hug her and tell her how much I love her for the last time. I wanted to hear her say it as well.

Maybe in her, I will find the courage to live. Maybe with her, I might choose to live..

We stopped at the cafe to have a snack since it's already 2 hours na kami nagpapaikot ikot habang hinahanap si Mommy.

I can't just give up now. I needed at least a day to look for her.

I walked right into the cafe thinking about what to order when I saw a familiar woman sitting happily with a man. His arm is resting on her back and in front of her were two teenagers who were happily telling them something.

I stopped in trance.

Is this why she never called me? Is this why she never visited me or dad? Is this why she just left as if she doesn't have a family?

As I watched her laugh, that's when I realized that I have never seen her being happy like this. I never saw her eyes glisten with joy like that. I never see her in a light aura like that, I never see her talk to me like that nor even looked at me like that..

Sudden envy, insecurities, and sadness came through me and pierced my heart over and over.

How about us? How about me?

I prayed for her to see me or look at my side but only a tear had to peek from my eyes.

I guess it's really over.

Mabilis akong lumabas ng cafe at sinabi sa driver na bumalik na sa Mansyon. Yna and The Velasco brothers were calling me but I just turned off my phone and cried. I couldn't care less about the driver, I can't seem to stop my tears from falling.

It's too painful to see that she can find happiness from other people while she finds miseries from us. But I realized that's what I also felt throughout the years I am being their daughter, throughout the years that I am following all of their commands.

Miseries.

I guess were just the same. Gusto makalayo, gusto makatakas. So anong karapatan ko magalit?

"Ma'am okay lang po ba kayo?" I harshly wipe my tears and stifle my sob.

"I will just sleep. Don't enter my room until I say so. Do you understand?" Takot ngunit may pag aalala itong tumango sakin.

Mabilis akong umakyat patungo sa kwarto ko at kinuha ang mga hinandang kagamitan para sa pinaplano ko.

The last two attempts of me killing myself were still fresh in my mind. I plead for help. I prayed constantly for forgiveness but this time all I could think was how peaceful it is to end everything here.

Maybe I don't care where I'm going to go after this.

Maybe I just don't care anymore.

I suddenly saw the black knitted blanket that I received 2 years ago from an unknown person. I ran my fingers to the knitted gold initials on it.

"L.P"

"I'm sorry.." I told the blanket as if it were a person. I slumped my body on the floor. I held it tightly and buried it in my chest.

I cried quietly as I remember that someone Jackson was pertaining to that night.

If ever there's really someone for me out there, that someone will be very sad to know that the person that is meant for him/her is weak, that she chose to just end it all. That she chose to just give up.

"I can't wait for you anymore. Don't worry, I will guide you as well and will give you someone you deserve." I don't know what really occurred to me as I just speak to the blanket.

Siguro nga ay nababaliw na ako.

I heaved a sigh and stood up from the floor and wipe my tears away. I put the blanket on my lips to kiss it, imagining that it is the one who's waiting for me, who's meant for me.

I then placed the blanket neatly on top of my bed and look up at my ceiling. I walk slowly and stop as my knees touched the cold yet soft cushion.

I step up to the chair and I slowly stretch my hands to reach the rope.

This time I am not going to ask for help. This time it will be the end of my misery.

"Goodbye.."

End.

[missmarpal21]

Lovelife Update

Akalain niyo yun, nasa healthy at long term relationship na ako ngayon. I am still in awe thinking I deserve this kind of relationship kahit na ang tagal na namin. Well, God knows the desires of our hearts indeed. Alam niya na gusto ko lang naman talaga mag mahal at mahalin ng gwapo (syempre). He's my answered prayer, sobrang specific sabi ko gusto ko ng gwapo, kaya binigay sakin gwapo talaga. Well! He hears our prayers talaga! Haha.

Though I was not a perfect partner to my previous relationships, may mga kagaguhan rin akong taglay, alam ko deep down I learned so much about it at naharap ko na ang greatest karma ko. Sino yun? Sino pa ba, edi si Che. I can honestly say na she's not my greatest love, she's my greatest karma and lesson pag dating sa aspeto ng love. Siya kasi ang nag turo saakin kung paano mag mahal, at sakanya ko rin natutunan kumapal ang mukha para mag loko at maging gago. I did things i shouldn't, gave away important parts of me, and everything in between. Pinagsisihan ko ba yun? Hindi. Hindi ko pinagsisisihan kung anong nangyare samin dati kasi doon ako natuto. Lalo na, doon ako namulat sa realidad ng mundo. Kung meron man akong pinagsisisihan, yun ay ang natuto akong i-sabotage ang relationship kasi alam kong sooner or later ipagpapalit rin ako. Pero sa perspective ko, yung nangyare samin para siyang canon event. Kailangan niya mangyare para mag-meet kami ni Janray.

Here's how I realized na canon event ang naging relationship namin:

Nasa thailand ako nung nahulog ako sa building, last attempt ko. Ang reason nun ay fed up na ako sa lahat at ang last trigger at last straw ko is si Che. I never thought of going to AUP for college. Seriously. Sobrang ayoko talaga that time! Pero dahil nangyare yun, as soon as I went back home sa Iloilo at natapos ang surgery ko, nag decide ako na mag AUP nalang. The real reason why is to be close to Che since taga Caloocan siya. Hindi ko kaya ang long distance relationship kaya kahit nabugbog na ako at lahat ng parents ko, talagang pinilit ko mag AUP.

Nung nag AUP ako, first night ko sa AUP talagang nireto kaagad ako kay Janray. That was June 2019. Ang daming efforts ginawa friends namin para mag meet kami, hindi ko pa sinipot si Janray sa lamp nung pumunta siya dahil nga ipapakilala kaming dalawa.

Nagka boyfriend pa ako, but I want to talk about that situation sa ibang post. Pero in the end, kami pa rin talaga yung nagkatuluyan ni Janray. :) That's why masasabi kong canon event talaga lahat ng nangyare samin dati.

Grabe, ngayon, eto kami. Sobrang mahal na mahal ko siya and yes, siya ang greatest love ko. :)

[lyntherighteousleftist]

Deserved mo ba maging passer ng CSC?

My answer is YES.

Kasi, I've been sacrificed for this para lang maka secure ng slots for CSC. I remember that time na after CA ng Audit Prob, derecho talaga ako papuntang SM Lanang para magpasa ng requirements

Tiniis ko yung gutom at init ng panahon, grabe yon kala ko di ako makakabot sa time pero thanks Lord naka abot ako.

Alam mo, kaya ko pumapayag na mag take ako nito kasi tanggap ko na yung kapalaran ko na baka di nako makapagpatuloy sa BSA kasi CPALE yung magbibigay sa akin ng trabaho pero it comes out na hindi ako pumasa ng Audit Problem.

Very depressive nung time nayon kasi hindi ko na talaga alam anong gagawin ko. But my mother encouraged me na I will take this CSC at least meron akong secured job after graduation.

Deserved ko pumasa hindi dahil lang easy o madali ang pagsusulit, kundi deserved ko pumasa dahil, nagpraktis ako bago magtake ng exam.

Bukas na ang lalabas ang result. Kinakabahan ako sa mangyayari bukas. Baka uuwi ako sa Davao na luhaan or masayang balita para sa akin.

Ayokong mag wish na sana hindi ako pumasa. Kasi masakit yon, si Lord talaga ang saksi sa mga journey ko. Alam na alam niya yan. Sana nga lang, bukas nasa listahan ako sa passers ng CSC

Sana ito opportunity na 'to, ito na ang magbibigay sa akin ng magandang career 😇

[imlykacalago]

Day 298 of 365. 10.26.2023

Three days na simula nung nalaman ko yung nalaman ko. Hanggang ngayon, pinoprocess ko parin. Nahihirapan ako tanggapin. 😔 I am so hurt for you, Myles. Di ko maprocess. Di ko kaya na tinitiis mo 'to pero hindi ako yung magdedesisyon for you. Kung ikakasaya mo yung magpanggap na walang nangyari, gagawin ko for you, Myles. Ganun kita kamahal. 😭 Grabe ang bigat. Mas nangingibabaw yung sakit sa galit. Imagine, kaibigan mo lang nga ako pero ganito na yung pain na nafifeel ko, what more ikaw? Na totoong victim? Myles 😭 hindi mo 'to deserve. Hindi mo 'to kasalanan. Wala kang kasalanan. Please huwag mo isipin na nagkulang ka. Kahit nagkulang ka sa mga maliliit na bagay, hinding hindi magiging valid yung ginawa sayo. 😔 Di ko matanggap na minsan na akong nagdoubt sakanya, he proved me wrong and I am truly grateful for him pero in the end, tama parin ako. Grabe. Di ko kaya. Myles, sobrang love ka namin 😭 naiiyak ako while typing this. Grabe talaga. Looking back at those times na confident akong kayo na talaga sa dulo, it's finally making sense bakit may split second na bigla akong mapapaisip ng what if hinde. Tapos ngayon, ganito na. Pero Myles 😔 di mo 'to deserve. Alam namin na mahal ka niya, di ko kinukwestyon yun. Pero kung nagawa niya ngayon na magjowa palang kayo kahit na 8 years na kayo mahigit, what more if nagpakasal na kayo? Hindi ka mapapanatag my. Hindi kakayanin ng puso mo. My. Di mo 'to deserve. Mahal na mahal ka namin. Sayo, di ko alam bakit humantong ka sa ganung punto. Bakit? Yan lang yung tanong ko. Bakit? Hindi mo ba naisip si myles nung ginawa mo yon? Di mo ba naisip yung mga magulang niyo nung ginawa mo yun? Di mo ba naisip kung sayo ginawa ni myles yan, mapapanatag ka? Talaga ba? Kahit wag mo na kame isipin pero hindi ko talaga maintindihan. Sorry, pero kung di man kayo humantong sa kasalan, mas mapapanatag ako bilang kaibigan. Pero si myles ang magdedesisyon kasi siya ang may hawak ng buhay niya. Gusto ko masaya siya or at least may peace of mind siya. Sa totoo lang, sa ginawa mo, hindi na posible yun. Sobrang disappointing and I'm sorry but I will never see it as a mistake. Never. Ilang araw ko ng iniisip 'to. Kung lumabas man yung kwento, hinding hindi ako magiging handa sa mga pagbabago lalo na sa pagkakaibigan natin pero mas importante si myles. Siya yung iniisip namin. Ayun lang.

Lord, tatapusin ko ang post na 'to with a prayer. Please heal niyo po si Myles. Kahit anong form of healing pa po ito basta huwag niyo po siya iwan, Lord. Mag-isa lang po siya. Wala kame doon para icomfort siya Lord. Please heal her heart. Let her have a good sleep. Let her rest well after work and all. Heal niyo po lahat ng mahal ko sa buhay, Lord. Protect us from harm and all that will hurt us. 😔

Amen, Lord. Mahal po kita!

[benefits1986]

unsilent fangirlyyyyy

Sometimes, life gives you something you don't deserve.

Minsan lang ako maging unsilent fangirl kasi nga default bored girl ako. Kaya, iba 'yung high kapag may nakakausap akong interesado talaga ako. The past months, I came across someone na OG. Intimidated talaga ako sa kanya as in. Pero, nung na-break na ang ice, grabe. Sobrang down to earth, madaldal saka sobrang straightforward. Tapos, dahil nga sobrang dyslexic ko at nasa Mount Olympus levels siya, good luck. But, you know what? Iba talaga 'pag nakita mo na up close yung fina-fangirl mo. Shit and all.

Sobrang oks niya because: 1 Kahit sobrang busy niya, may time siya para sa hanash at mga life and death matters ko. 2 Yes, sobrang galing niya, pero walang mali sa pagiging dyslexic ko. Gina-guide niya akong mainam lalo 'pag need ng kaayusan ng aking kasabawan. 3 'Yung wisdom niya sobrang nakaka-shookt pero 'di mayabang. May angas siya na 'di nakaka-cringe. 4 Reserved siya pero 'pag nagpakawala ng thoughts, ay, giba na, wagas pa. 5 Nagso-sorry 'pag mali siya. 'Pag may mali ako, rekta niya ring sinasabi. Sumisibat pero 'di nakaka-ugh. 6 Opposites kami pero sobrang swak. Fire and ice levels na nagda-dance ganern. 7 'Pag nagfa-fangirl ako, natatawa lang siya. Pero alam niya anong worth niya which is OMG, mhieeee. 8 Safe space ko siya. Comfort zone and shield. How rare is that para sa akin krung-krung? Super rare items ng Pet Soc at Ragna, dhzai. 9 'Di siya judging, but alam niya when to put a foot down. Two feet down paminsan. 10 'Yung strengths niya, weaknesses ko. Damnnnnndamin. 11 'Yung Harry Potter references niya, spot on. 'Di pilit. Well-researched. Well-executed. Very optimized. Conversion rate: 100%. 12 'Yung mga "so what" niyang tanong, napo-probe ako. 'Di ako naa-agit. 13 Fave niya na sabihing: Fits like a glove. And eto 'yung idiom na default myth sa akin, pero natawid niya with flying colors. 14 I realized na 'yung folio niya bonus na lang dahil mabuti siyang tao. Walang hidden agenda. 15 'Yung extra mile sa book niya, extra extra miles. Legit. Boogsh. 16 I think may photographic memory siya lalo na nga mga ka-dsylexic-kan ko. And I don't give a fuck, this time. 17 'Di niya tinatawanan or niqu-question silly dreams ko. Support levels: 1000%. Hype person siya pero hindi sa delulu levels. 18 'Yung tension, productive na, repurposed pa. Literally and figuratively. Beat that, bitch! Life nga naman, may times na 'pag daldalan levels namin 1000000, napapatigil ako. Me to myself: Sometimes, you get what you don't deserve, noh? Also me: Well, siguro naman, ito deserve ko na. From hassle to hassle-free era na tayo, girl. Kapitan mo lang anong truth mo. Maiba naman. Push. Sana lang 'di siya Taurus. Matanong nga one of these days. LOL. Abangan!