#permanent nerve damage on his arm so he just lets them chew on it cause he can't feel anything

[k20spock]

damn this boys got medical grade hips someone should give em a squeeze to make sure

if fat around hips not meant for squeezing why are they called love handles huh

[cosmicgoddesswrites]

The Nanny - Chapter 2

Single Dad!Kuroo x Nanny!Reader

Summary: Kuroo Tetsuro is about at his wits end; there's only so much a man can take with work piling up, his divorce getting messier by the minute, and his 6-year-old daughter raising hell at home. Hiring a nanny sounds like a band-aid solution, but who knows, maybe this will work out?

Word Count: 1738

Warnings: Female!Reader, Some cursing, mentions of v!olence, implied panic attack

Prev. Masterlist. Next.

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Pulling up to the house the next morning was just as nerve-racking, if not more so, than it was the day before. (Y/n) was excited to meet Emiko, but couldn’t help the anxiety bubbling in the pit of her stomach.

What if Emiko didn’t like her? Kuroo said if she did well then she would get to stay on as her nanny. Did that mean if she did a shit job that he would fire her?

(Y/n) pushed her worries to the back of her mind as she approached the front door, gripping the spare key Kuroo had given her so hard she thought it might bend. With a deep breath she unlocked the front door and made her way inside.

Her footsteps practically echoed in the spacious house. One would think she was there completely alone. 

Making her way to the kitchen, (Y/n) set down her messenger bag in one of the island chairs. Should she start cooking? Should she wait for Kuroo to greet her? Would he even greet her? Did she have to wait until she knew Emiko was up?

Her inner monologue was interrupted by a loud crash followed by a shrill scream that could have easily been mistaken for an emergency siren.

Instinct had (Y/n) rushing to the source of the noise and almost bumping into a frantic and half naked, very wet Kuroo.

“O-oh my god-”

“Oh, hi. Uh, I was showering, should we-?” Kuroo interrupted (Y/n), pointing to the door they were both standing in front of. (Y/n) prayed he didn’t notice her staring.

“Yes, yes we should-” she mumbled, moving to let him open the door.

Kuroo swung open the door, rushing to his daughter’s bedside and checking her for injuries. The father sighed in relief when he found none, only for his smile of relief to drop when he saw a very expensive looking night-light had been thrown on the floor.

“You scared me half to death,” he huffed, picking up the night-light, “did you throw this? You know daddy paid a lot for that.”

The little girl’s attention had shifted from her dad to the stranger in the room, her intense, amber eyes almost sizing the woman up. “Who’s that?”

Kuroo frowned at the lack of response from his daughter. “That’s (Y/n), she’s going to be your nanny, okay?” he explained, inspecting the light for any damage.

(Y/n) smiled and opened her mouth to speak only for the 6-year-old to cut her off.

“I don’t like her.”

Ouch.

Kuroo choked on his saliva and quickly turned to face his daughter, “Emiko that isn’t nice, you just met her. Can you give her a chance?”

Emiko stayed dead silent, continuing to stare (Y/n) down.

(Y/n) tried her best to play off the insanely awkward encounter, kneeling down to meet Emiko’s eye-line. “That’s okay, buuut do you like pancakes?”

The girl’s eyes lit up for a moment, she was obviously trying to mask any reaction to the mention of food, but her stomach betrayed her as it rumbled loudly.

“Well I like pancakes too, I make them nice and thick and fluffy with lots of syrup. How about I go make you and your dad some right now?” (Y/n) offered Emiko a bright smile as the little girl glanced over at her father.

“I know that sounds good to me!” Kuroo said, “How about we get dressed for the day while (Y/n) starts cooking?”

Kuroo didn’t even wait for a reply, he just stood straight and began getting Emiko’s clothes ready for the day. (Y/n) gave Emiko one last smile before heading for the kitchen.

(Y/n) could hear arguing coming from Emiko’s room as she cooked breakfast. It was clear the little girl would pull no punches on (Y/n)’s first day, making this a difficult start to what would hopefully be her new, permanent job.

Kuroo eventually entered the kitchen, frustration evident in his features as he carried Emiko to the small dining table. The little girl kicked and struggled in his hold, whining and grunting as she tried getting away. Her school uniform and hair was a mess, it couldn’t have been genes making her jet-black hair stick up like that.

(Y/n) served Emiko her breakfast as soon as the young girl was in her chair, ensuring she wouldn’t try running off to get her father to chase her. Those adorable amber eyes identical to Kuroo’s lit up as she began digging into her breakfast, not even bothering to wait for her dad to sit beside her.

The older man adjusted his tie before sitting at the table and beginning to eat breakfast as well; he seemed very pleased with the comfortable silence that enveloped the three of them.

(Y/n) turned her back to them to start washing dishes. And that’s when things took a turn.

“Can we stop at McDonald’s on the way home from school, daddy?” Emiko asked, her mind already on her next meal despite the near-empty plate of pancakes in front of her.

“You’ll have to ask (Y/n), sweetheart. From now on she’s going to be the one taking you to school and bringing you home.”

Emiko didn’t like her father’s reply. Not one bit.

She practically threw her fork down on the table, a fire in her eyes (Y/n) was all too familiar with. “I don’t want her to take me! I want you to take me!” she shouted, mouth still full of half-chewed pancakes. 

“Emiko, the earlier daddy gets to work the earlier he can come home to you.” Kuroo reasoned, only to be met with a glare from his daughter.

“You always say that then pick me up late from school anyway!” she snapped, “I don’t want her!”

Kuroo gave Emiko a stern look. “Emiko. I’m the parent and you’re the child. I’m saying (y/n) is taking you to school. She’s taking you to school.”

(Y/n) internally cringed at that. Maybe she externally cringed too. She could have a talk with him about that communication later.

Emiko kicked her legs under the table, causing it to thump as Kuroo hardened his gaze. “Well if you’re done eating you can go ahead and get to school.” Kuroo stood up and scooped Emiko out of her chair despite her protests, ignoring her as she screamed her head off and thrashed in his arms.

In the midst of her thrashing, her closed fist collided roughly with Kuroo’s nose. In shock, he set Emiko down and cupped his nose in pain, the pain causing his eyes to water. Emiko looked shocked for a moment before continuing her tantrum.

Kuroo wordlessly picked Emiko back up, grabbed her schoolbag, and carried her to (Y/n)’s car. (Y/n) followed behind silently, unlocking the car so he could get Emiko in the back seat. Once she was strapped in, (Y/n) turned Kuroo to face her and cupped his cheek.

“Let me see that, do you need ice?” She asked before he quickly pulled away.

“I’ll be okay… Drive carefully.”

(Y/n) bit her lip before getting into the driver’s seat, wincing at the volume of Emiko’s screams. Despite how upset he was, Kuroo blew a kiss to the crying child in the car before turning to go back in the house.

Emiko sobbed and screeched and wailed the whole way to school, somehow not tiring herself out at all no matter how hard she thrashed in her seat. (Y/n) was almost grateful to pull up to the school parking lot and get the screaming child out of her car.

She opened the backseat of the car, noticing how Emiko flinched away as she was now practically hyperventilating through her tears.

(Y/n) immediately set beside her and cupped her cheeks so Emiko would look at her. “Hey, hey- it’s okay. Just look at me and breathe, okay, pretty girl? It’s okay, breathe.” (Y/n) cooed, gingerly wiping Emiko’s tears.

Emiko continued breathing hard, her tiny chest heaving with each breath she took. “D-Dont yell at meee!” She wailed, “Pleaaase don’t yell at me! Don’t be maaad!”

“Sweetie I’m not mad at you, I’m not going to yell at you,” (Y/n) assured her, brushing strands of messy hair off her tear-stained cheeks. “I’m never ever going to yell at you, okay? Please just be a good girl and breathe with me, okay?”

Emiko nodded quickly, staring up at (Y/n) as she mirrored her breathing. A couple moments later, Emiko was breathing normally, blinking back tears and shaking in her seat.

“Good girl,” (Y/n) gave her a gentle smile as she praised her, continuing to stroke her head. “Can you tell me why you’re upset?”

The little girl sniffled, her bottom lip quivering, “I hit my daddy…” she whimpered.

(Y/n) frowned as she began to try combing down Emiko’s messy hair with her fingers. “You didn’t like hitting your daddy, huh?”

Emiko responded only by shaking her head. “He hates me…”

“That’s not true.” (Y/n) quickly corrected her, tilting her head. “Your daddy loves you soooo much. And I bet more than anything he just wants a great big hug from you to make it okay. How about when he gets home, you apologize and kiss and hug him better?”

Emiko nodded sadly, nervously picking at her fingers.

“We have to get you into school now, okay? I want you to think about what you want for dinner and I’ll take you grocery shopping with me after I pick you up, okay?” (Y/n) smiled down at her. “Anything you want I’ll make, then you and daddy can sit down at dinner and share it.”

(Y/n) felt relief wash over her as Emiko nodded and unbuckled her own seatbelt, moving to get out of the car. “Do you know how to make spaghetti?” She asked quietly.

(Y/n) giggled and helped her out of the car, walking her to the front doors. “That’s my faaavorite thing to cook! I’ll make a list for the grocery store, sound good?”

Emiko nodded, already looking like she had perked up. The two said their goodbyes and (Y/n) left her teacher her phone number before going back to the house. Hopefully Kuroo would be gone and the two could avoid an awkward encounter.

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Taglist:

@kellyyween @whore-for-anime @lilith412426 @yourstarvic @prinkipissa-aa @syynnaaah  @boosyboo9206  @lowkey-falling-apart  @chwlogy  @chichibia  @chirity-chu @faithfulferns @fi-chanwrites

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 4 - 16

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3.

AO3

Cw: pain medication, discussion of potential narcotics addiction, blood (imagined), permanent injury, loss of use of a limb, past surgery, past noncon, victim-blaming, self-hatred, death mention

~

Sam followed behind Isaac as he walked down the hall and out the back door of the house. He paused to pull his worn leather boots on, and helped Sam step into their shoes. He pulled in a deep breath and walked towards the lake. The sunrise painted the sky in bright oranges and reds, stretching out above them forever, clearer somehow than when they were south. Isaac drew in another slow breath.

Sam walked quietly by his side. Their breaths weren’t so ragged as they were yesterday, though Isaac knew it would be painful for weeks. He winced at the memory of his own cracked ribs, and at his own dull ache with every breath. They walked through the overgrown grass of the yard, untended. The place must have been empty for a long time when Gray moved in. The quiet swooshing noises their shoes made against it made Isaac feel just a little calmer.

Soon the grass gave way to sand. It shifted under Isaac’s feet. His hands curled into fists as he walked slowly, making sure Sam could keep up. When they stumbled, he stopped and took their shoulders in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t think… I didn’t think about it, that… Do you want to just sit? Would that be alright?”

Sam trembled in Isaac’s grasp. “Um…” They looked past Isaac and bit their lip. “If we could, could make it to that log there and sat down, that would be…” They drew in a quick breath. “That would be, would be good.”

Isaac glanced behind him at the log just at the edge of the water, roots gnarled and twisted towards the sky, the wood bleached by the sun. He nodded. “Sure,” he said weakly. “But please don’t, um, push yourself. I know that—”

“It’s fine,” Sam said breathlessly, and started walking again.

Isaac swallowed hard as he walked just behind Sam, watching how they limped as if their left leg was hurting them, how they shuddered every time they jostled their arm. When they reached the log and Sam lowered themself down, Isaac heaved a sigh of relief with them. He sat beside them and looked out across the lake, almost perfectly flat and reflecting the brilliant sky above them. A bird called in a nearby tree, and another answered it. Isaac breathed in the clean, cool air and felt his shoulders relax slightly.

They were quiet for a long time. Sam breathed stiffly beside him, rocking every now and then, holding their arm carefully against their body. Finally they took in a stilted breath and wet their lips.

“Finn’s been keeping the pain meds,” Sam said softly.

Isaac turned, his eyebrows pulling together. “What?”

“The pain meds.” Sam shifted uncomfortably. “Finn’s holding onto them, giving them to me one at a time. They say it’s so I don’t develop an addiction. Apparently morphine’s really hard to come by and they don’t want me having withdrawals.”

Isaac’s gut felt ice cold. “And do you… think you’re developing an addiction?” He laced his fingers tightly together.

“No,” Sam huffed. “Like I said, I can’t. I don’t get to take more when I want to. But it’s just…” They gritted their teeth and took another breath. “It hurts. And it… makes me mad that I can’t have more.”

Isaac chewed the inside of his cheek. “Pain still the same?” His hands itched to hold Sam, to ruffle their hair, to push back against everything in the world that threatened to hurt them. Somehow, he felt like that wasn’t what they needed right now.

“Yeah.” Sam winced. “Hasn’t gotten, um, better. I don’t know when it will.”

“What does Finn say?”

Sam scoffed weakly. “Finn says it should’ve been getting a little better by now.”

Guilt twisted in Isaac’s stomach. “Oh.” Muzzle flash. Spray of blood. Punch to his chest. Falling to the ground with Sam on top of him, bleeding. Always bleeding.

Sam’s lips trembled and they bit down hard on their lips. Their head tilted back and they looked at the sky, tears brimming in their eyes. “S-something’s wrong,” they whispered.

“Can I touch you?” Isaac murmured. Sam was still for a moment, then nodded. It sent the tears rolling down their cheeks. Isaac drew closer and took their hand, squeezing it in both of his. He tried to keep his hands from shaking.

“I d-don’t…” Sam’s voice went tight with tears. “I don’t know what, but… something’s… n-not working.” They shivered and leaned against Isaac.

“What’s not working?” Isaac said softly, leaning back so he could see their eyes. “What’s not working, Sam?”

Sam shivered and looked down at their right hand where it rested in the sling. “My hand,” they whimpered.

Isaac’s eyes fell shut against the sudden burn of tears. His shoulder was nothing, his right hand was nothing, they were things Isaac could deal with. It was just pain. It was just his pain. But the idea that Sam may be permanently damaged from a mistake Isaac had made…? Dread crept into his heart as his gaze moved over them. They looked up and met his eyes, their own wide and filled with tears.

“Wh-what’s wrong with your hand?” Isaac rasped. His throat worked as he swallowed the searing guilt that tightened there.

“Um…” Sam glanced down at their hand again. “I c-can’t move it.”

Isaac’s stomach lurched like he’d just been punched in the gut. “What?”

Sam whined softly and their face twisted. “I, I don’t know if it’s from, um, the bullet, or…” They shook their head fiercely. “It’s not Finn’s fault. It’s not. But I d-don’t know if, um, it’ll get better, b-but…” They winced. Their thumb and forefinger jerked in a clumsy, uncoordinated movement. The other fingers didn’t move at all. “And I’m, um, numb.”

Isaac swallowed the bile that crept up his throat. He forced down a sob, willing his voice not to shake. “Where?”

“Um…” Sam gulped. “L-last two fingers. And, um, the inside of my wrist. A-and my forearm.” They pressed their lips together and whimpered.

“Oh, god,” Isaac whispered. “Oh fuck…” He was crumbling in on himself, collapsing. Sam won’t recover from this. Finn can’t go in and fix this. They can’t fix nerves. He knew enough about the human body to know that that’s what this was, the bullet had torn through a nerve, and there wasn’t a surgeon in the world who could fix it that would be willing to treat Sam. He slumped forward. His arms wrapped around his chest. “No…”

“I don’t know what to do,” Sam whispered. They whined softly and pressed their left hand to their face.

Isaac’s hands jerked and he was pulling them into his embrace before he heard the gasp of pain and stopped. He angrily swiped the tears away and forced himself to look at Sam, at the tears staining their cheeks, at the way they winced with every breath, at the sling that concealed the truth: the damage caused by the bullet would probably never heal. He ran his hands through his hair and forced out a breath through his teeth.

“Sam, h-have…” He curled his hands into fists. “…have you told Finn?”

“No,” Sam whimpered. “I don’t want them to, to blame themself, I know they will, because they… they’re just like you, Isaac, sometimes…” Sam trembled and moaned softly as it jostled their arm. “They blamed themself the whole time C-Colleen had us. They blamed themself. I saw it every time they, um, touched me. They did their best and it still wasn’t enough and—” They cut themself off with a horrified gasp. “Oh, god. I didn’t mean that. Oh, I… I didn’t mean it wasn’t enough, I meant… nothing they could have done would have… um…” They reached out and grasped Isaac’s arm. “Please don’t tell them I said that. Oh, god, I’m so… sorry…”

“S-stop,” Isaac mumbled, his tongue feeling too big for his mouth. “I swear to god, Sam, stop. Please.”

Sam raised their eyes to Isaac’s. Tears clung to their eyelashes. “S-stop what?”

Isaac rocked forward and pressed his face into his hands. He groaned. “Just… stop apologizing. I know what you meant, and if Finn heard you, they would, too.”

Sam let out a shivery breath. “I just don’t want them to think it’s because of, um, the surgery. I kn-know they, um, they did their best, and no one else could have done it, and… and they saved my life, but they won’t, um, see it that way.”

Isaac blew out a breath through pursed lips. “I know.”

“I just…” Sam experimentally moved their thumb and forefinger again. They winced and gripped their right hand with their left. “Ahh. Um… I just wish it could be numb, um, up here.” They pointed to their shoulder. “Because it feels like a, um, a hot poker going through my arm.”

Isaac clenched his jaw. “And the pain meds don’t help?”

“No,” Sam breathed, their face twisting. “They do. They do. Just… not very much. Not enough to sleep very well.”

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Isaac whispered. He grasped their hand and squeezed.

Sam huffed out a pained laugh. “The cat helps, though.”

Isaac paused and turned to Sam. “The cat?”

“Yeah,” Sam said with a faint smile. “Gray’s cat. Nata. He’s been sleeping with me since we got here. He’s, um, really nice. It’s like he knows when the pain is really bad.”

One corner of Isaac’s mouth pulled up. “Just like Gray.”

“Yeah,” Sam said as they leaned against Isaac. “Just like Gray.”

The sky lightened over them. The clouds faded from their oranges and pinks until only their edges shone a brilliant gold. The lake shimmered in the slow breeze.

Sam took a shallow breath. “What did you need to tell me?” they murmured, looking out over the lake.

Isaac curled in on himself slightly. “Ah. Yeah. Um…” I’m fucking the man who hurt you, tortured you, broke you. I’m fucking the man who hurt me, too, and made me hurt for months after that. I’m fucking the man that nearly got us all killed. But I want him, I love him, so fucking much, and he makes me so fucking happy.

Sam turned their eyes to Isaac, worried and so damned hurt. Their eyebrows pulled together and they searched his face. “What is it, Isaac?”

Isaac shook his head. “Shit.” He let go of Sam’s hand, so they wouldn’t have to touch him after he told them. So they didn’t have to touch him when they found out Isaac was just some twisted, broken thing that folded at the first soft touch he’d felt in ages. When they found out Isaac gave in and liked it when he was tied down and fucked while someone watched his humiliation, just because it came from someone he thought he might have feelings for, when he was trapped in the middle of a nightmare. They didn’t have to touch him when they found out that Isaac was so fucking weak that he’d accept any love that was offered.

No. Gavin deserves more than that. He deserves so much more than that explanation.

Isaac set his shoulders and stared out across the water. He wet his lips and held his breath before he spoke.

“A lot happened between Gavin and I at Colleen’s house,” he said softly.

Sam leaned back and huffed out a breath. “Oh. Yeah. With the… um…”

…with the rapes, done by a man I already wanted, and I would have let him do it even if I wasn’t in chains.

“Y-yeah,” Isaac croaked. “Um… he’s… Sam, you know he’s different. I know you do. And when he was… when we were…” He cleared his throat. “I know the guards did the most to, um, to you. And that he, um, was forced to watch most of the time.”

“Yup.” Sam’s expression was unreadable.

Isaac swallowed uneasily. “But you know he… he never wanted that.”

“Yeah,” Sam murmured. “I know.”

“You know how much he loves us?” Isaac said, his voice weakening.

“I th-think so,” Sam said with a wince. They adjusted their arm slightly in its sling.

“Well I…” Isaac’s throat worked as he swallowed again, his insides tingling with dread and worry. After this, they won’t want to have anything to do with me. After this they’ll, they’ll know, that I’m… that I’m…

The refrain was always the same, no matter what. I’m weak. I’m worthless. I don’t deserve I don’t deserve I don’t deserve… Isaac shook himself and forced the thoughts away.

“I love him, too,” Isaac whispered. He shivered in the light tendrils of the breeze as it moved over his skin. He waited for Sam to respond. They blinked and stared across the water. Slowly, they drew a ragged breath in through their nose.

After a long moment, they opened their mouth. “Why him?” they murmured.

Isaac’s head fell forward. Because I’m weak. Because I’m broken. Because I want to punish myself by keeping my torturer in my life, in my bed, and I’m so fucking selfish that I don’t care if he hurt the others, too…

No. I love Gavin because…

“Because he’s a good man… now.” Isaac shifted uncomfortably. “He’s made so many sacrifices to keep us alive. Because he’s different, and he’s changed, and I trust him. And because he’s good to me.” Isaac’s voice faltered. “He’s so… Sam, he’s so damned good to me. He wants me to be safe. He wants me to feel, to feel good. He’d die for this family, Sam.” Isaac’s eyes burned with tears. “He almost died for this family. He’s one of us now. And I don’t know why. I don’t know how it happened. But I… l-love him. And I want to be with him.”

Finally, Sam brought their gaze back to Isaac’s. Old hurt burned dully in their eyes. Isaac quailed when he saw it.

“Does he make you happy?” Sam said.

“Yes.” The word rushed out of him.

Sam searched Isaac’s face with their gaze. After another moment, they reached out and clasped Isaac’s hand again. “Okay,” they murmured.

Isaac dared to draw in a slow breath. “Okay?”

Sam chewed their lip. “Does he feel the same way?”

Isaac nodded. “Yeah, Sam,” he breathed. “Yeah. He does.”

“Hm.” Sam’s eyes fell closed and they shuddered weakly. “I thought so.”

Isaac balked and his mouth gaped open. “You… you thought so?”

Sam nodded. “Mm-hm.” They hissed and held their left arm tight to their chest as they breathed. “I thought he might be… um…” They gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I don’t think he had any idea what love felt like before he left his mom. So I wasn’t sure, but… it looked like he was starting to feel that way for you.”

Isaac’s mouth was dry. “When?”

Sam gaze a wry smile. “While we were south. It just… looked like he had feelings for you.”

Isaac forced his shoulders to relax. “Well… he did.”

“Hm.”

Isaac let out a breath. The breeze ruffled Sam’s hair and tickled on the half-healed cuts on Isaac’s arms. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at Sam again. “You ready for breakfast?”

Sam shifted and smiled. “Yeah,” they said softly. “I’m, um… I’m hungry today. I kinda haven’t been, but today…” Another shrug.

“That’s good,” Isaac said warmly as he rose and held out a hand to Sam. “That’s a good sign.”

“I know you couldn’t eat for a while, after,” Sam said, and winced.

Isaac’s head dropped forward. “Yeah,” he rasped. It was such a well-trodden path, such a familiar burst of my fault my fault my fault I deserve… He shook his head to clear it. Will I ever be able to live without that? Who am I without my shame?

He gently rubbed the back of Sam’s neck, longing to pull them into his arms, sling an arm over their shoulders, just touch them, remind himself that they existed, that they were safe, that they were alive. He’d so very nearly lost them. They’d so very nearly died in his arms and—

STOP. He hated the refrain, the constant pulse of shame in his head that he’d never even realized was there. He hated the never-ending ache in his chest that reminded him of what he was, what he’d done. He hated the dread that came with every time he wondered, will I ever be enough?

Will I ever heal?

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head again. He turned towards the house and began the short walk back.

Continued here

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[mattzerella-sticks]

Reflection, a Buddie fic, jealous!Eddie, 3.8k

Eddie Diaz knew a few things. His wife, Shannon, was no longer with them. While he will always love her, it was time for him to move on. Surprisingly, his heart already did without his notice. It set up camp in the hands of his best friend, Buck. And he was too late to do anything about it.

Because Buck has a personal trainer. Buck has a crush on his personal trainer.

If Eddie ever meets the man, he might dip back into his 'phase'. But knowing how that might hurt Buck, he hopes they never run into each other. At a party in Buck's apartment, there's a high chance their paths will cross. Only what happens when Eddie meets Buck's personal trainer?

Eddie stands in a corner, scanning the crowd for a particular face. Shoulders tense, expression smooth like the marble of Buck’s kitchen counters, he broadcasts a very clear message - stay away. Appropriate behavior if Eddie were back at his station overseas and not at a party. A party celebrating a very important person in his life.

He catches Buck’s eyes in the crowd, the other man in the middle of a conversation. Buck lights up, waving him over. Eddie declines, darting away to sip at his beer. Too slow to miss him deflate at the snub.

His heart stutters over itself. A low growl rumbles through his mind, sharp teeth chewing him out for causing Buck’s smile to dim by ten percent. Barks at him to push off from the wall and join him, even at the risk. Slide in close and interrupt Buck while he works through his fifth tangent. Because Eddie knows his friend loses the plot easier than a loose contact and everyone around him looks antsier than soldiers during a surprise mine sweep.  Eddie would then reel him towards an ending, helping lighten the social traffic.

It’s exactly what he wants to do. But a phantom hold keeps him from following through on the fantasy. The fear that, if he were to go over and enjoy himself, the very person he wasted already too much time searching for would surprise him and ruin his fun.

If there’s no fun had there’s none to ruin.

“You doing okay there Eddie?”

Hen and Chimney double team him, fencing him in and blocking his view of the entire party from his post. Any chance of escape stolen by Hen bracing her arm against the wall and Chimney spreading his legs in an awkward way that he finds comfortable. “So I’m not shifting around all the time.”

“But it’s a tripping hazard!”

Chimney smirked, “Too bad.”

Eddie frowns, carefully constructed mask slipping to expose his raw nerves. It rights itself in the next moment. Only the damage was done.

“What’s wrong?” Hen asks, “This is supposed to be a party! Why are you the treating it like a funeral?”

“I’m not -”

“Eddie’s not imagining himself at a funeral, Hen,” Chim interrupts, “no, no, it’s like he’s surveying a fire for any stragglers.” They snicker into their drinks, Eddie rolling his eyes at their antics.

“Real funny, you two,” he sighs, “Look, sorry if I’m being a little bit of a buzzkill but I’m not in the mood to party.” “Then why’d you come?”

He answers with a soft gaze towards the apartment’s entertainment section, Christopher sitting wedged between Denny and Harry playing with Denny’s Switch. Two more controllers added since his birthday, so they can all play Mario Party. Christopher shakes the controller madly to win whatever mini-game randomly chosen, laughing when Harry knocks into him.

“Hurry up dad!” Christopher urged Eddie. He waited by the front door, bouncing with excitement. Eddie shrugged on his jacket, telling him to be patient. “But I want to see Buck!” he said, grinning, “Don’t… don’t you want to?”

Eddie did, but he wasn’t alone. There’s another person here that probably feels the same flutter in his stomach whenever Buck’s form crosses their gaze. Except they can act on it, whereas Eddie has to wait for his stomach acid to digest those damned butterflies.

“That’s sweet,” Hen says, cup over her heart. “But that’s not explaining the stiff upper lip thing your face is doing.”

Chimney nods, “You’re no Brad Pitt but you have a better poker face than this, man.”

His lips thin further, and Eddie wishes a tornado would sweep through the room and suck him out of the apartment. It’s the only natural disaster he feels his family aren’t equipped to handle, meaning they’re less likely to rescue him from death. Although Eddie believes, even if a tornado found a way to travel across the Midwest and to Los Angeles without dissipating, his Texan blood would keep him alive for the fallout. “Maybe I would perk up a little if people stopped harassing me about why I’m not the life of the party?”

“Hey, don’t make us out to be the bad guys,” Chimney says, “we’re first responders.”

“We’re just doing our jobs,” Hen adds. Her finger pokes his chest three times, on the fourth Eddie waving it away.

Chimney steps closer, voice lowering to a whisper. “Really though,” he says, Eddie straining to hear him over the background chatter, “are you okay? You can tell us?”

“Was it therapy?” Hen asks, “I saw you leaving in a huff. Completely ignored me by the way…”

Eddie winces, unaware Hen saw him storm out of their therapist’s office. “My bad,” he winces, scratching his neck, “I would’ve said ‘hi’ if I saw you.”

“I know,” she says, “I could tell you weren’t paying attention. You had this intense glare in your eye like you had before we showed up.”

“Is that what it is?” Chimney arches a brow, “Something your therapist said that rubbed you the wrong way? A breakthrough you weren’t ready to hear?”

Chimney throws darts blindly and lands one close to the bull’s-eye without thought. Eddie bristles at how closely his friend’s guesses were. Although there are a few facts he has wrong.

Like the breakthrough Chimney thinks Eddie wasn’t ready to hear? Not true. Eddie understood his newfound feelings for Buck almost immediately. Already experienced the blinding, gasping fear that came with the development. Scared how things might change, to be around Buck, and what would happen if his affection went unanswered. Especially since he couldn’t hide his heart as easily as he thought. Frank sniffed them out at their session after Eddie’s revelation.

“Why did you shut down just then?” he asked, leaning forward in his wheelchair, “When you were talking about Buck.”

“I didn’t shut down,” Eddie said, crossing his arms. “I finished with the story… not much else to talk about.” Frank chuckled, rubbing at his eye. “What’s so funny?”

“Usually when it comes to the topic of your… friend , Buck, I have trouble getting you to move off the topic.” Shifting, he brings his pen to the notepad and scribbles a few words. “Has there been another rough patch in your relationship?”

Eddie scowled. “I wouldn’t say that. We’re fine.”

“Fine?”

“ Dandy. ” If falling in love with your best friend and coworker could be boiled down to a word, it wouldn’t be that. But did Frank expect Eddie to tell him the truth?

He did. They spent half the session verbally sparring about Buck, Eddie drawing his line in the sand and making sure Frank wouldn’t wheel across it.

“I thought you didn’t like talking about Buck?” Eddie growled. Squeezed the arms of the chair in an effort to keep his cool. “Why are you making this such a big deal?”

“Because you’re making it one.” Frank lost any pretense of entertaining Eddie’s efforts then, laying into the other man. “You think I’m being annoying with this? Imagine what might happen after you leave this room. How are you going to react when your mood shifts when talking to friends or family - or Buck? When you spend time with Buck will you shut down like you did earlier? I assure you that will only draw more suspicion your way.”

Eddie sunk into his seat. “I can handle myself…”

“Or,” Frank continued, “why don’t you let me help you through whatever you’re working through in this safe space. Where, I promise, there is no judgement.”

He mulled it over for a minute, giving Frank the benefit of actually considering his offer. A scene played through his mind, Eddie in the same room with Buck. Neither doing anything important than existing next to each other. In the sequence Buck turned to him and grinned, little birthmark rising slightly and eyes squinting like he stared up at the sun.

Eddie hoped his cheeks didn’t burn like they were in his head, in that room with Buck.

“Okay,” he started, thumb brushing back and forth across his knee, “if you want the truth…” It spilled forth rapidly, Eddie accidentally twisting the knob on his faucet off and unable to stop it. Went over how, after Shannon, Eddie didn’t know if the hole in his chest would ever be filled. That the pain from losing her once hurt so long, and this time her exit was more permanent.

But, without his notice, someone grabbed a shovel and set to work. Slowly Buck stepped into a new role. Went above and beyond what a friend normally did. Especially given his own condition, dealing with the possibility that his career and life were forever over. At first Eddie thought Buck used his time with him and Christopher as a distraction. To numb the terror of not being able to return to the firehouse. Except the cast came off, and Buck stuck by their side. Became even bigger parts of their lives. Sometimes he picked up Christopher from friend’s houses when Eddie or Carla was busy. Or joined them in grocery shopping. Stayed late into the night, helping Christopher to bed and chatting with Eddie until it was one in the morning. No matter how hard Eddie begged, though, Buck would return to his apartment. Eddie watching him hop into his Uber and waiting until he received a text from Buck to go to sleep.

“God,” Eddie scrubbed his face, “I had it bad for him this whole time and I didn’t notice?”

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Frank comforted him, smiling, “When we go through trauma, it’s easy for things to fade into the background while you heal. Things change, around you and inside, that you might not notice for awhile because the immediate pain takes up all your attention.”

“I guess you’re right,” he sighed, “I spent so long being glad that I had Buck… I didn’t examine those feelings too closely because I was just happy that the pain from missing Shannon wasn’t there.”

“And when Buck abandoned you, as you mentioned in a previous session…” Eddie shifted in his seat at Frank’s choice of words. “How did you feel? Really feel? Looking back on it with the clarity you have now?”

“I… I don’t know,” Eddie said, “I guess it… pushed me over the edge. Two people I loved choosing to walk out on me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Felt like I was letting Christopher down because I couldn’t give him a stable home… was more like a hotel with one of those revolving doors. It made me mad. And I wanted to hurt people, because maybe then I wouldn’t be hurting inside... God,” he wiped his eyes, laughing, “Buck was right. He was part of the reason I had my… phase . If he found out… his ego was insufferable before.”

“Your confession is safe with me,” Frank told him, “I’m glad we could work through this in today’s time. If you held out a bit longer I was afraid we’d be cut off in the middle and it’d be forever to get you to where we’re ending today.”

“Thanks, Frank,” Eddie said, standing, “I… I needed this.”

He scheduled another session the following week, proactively dealing with his issues. While they covered many things in the hour there were still more to discuss. When his next appointment arrived Eddie wasted no time dumping the remaining worries at Frank’s feet. Like a man dangling off the edge of a skyscraper begging for someone to help him away from the edge.

Frank hauled him onto solid ground with sound logic. “If Buck is all that you say he is,” he explained, “than in the possibility where he didn’t return your feelings occurred, he wouldn’t call it quits like that. You need to have a little faith that things can turn out good.”

“It’s hard, though. When every time I have that faith it all goes sour on my end.”

“Well maybe this time things will turn out differently.”

Eddie took Frank’s advice, deciding that the next moment alone with Buck he would hand him his heart and pray he kept it.

However he could never be alone with Buck.

In the following weeks, any chance where they were the only two in the room was spoiled by a third party joining almost immediately. From fellow firefighters to random strangers. Christopher, when Eddie tried sneaking out to meet Buck. Caught and forced to bring him along since he cannot say no to his son. While at the park, watching his son play, he thought about telling him there. But then Athena walked in, apparently on patrol. So desperate Eddie considered faking an emergency so he could claim the ambulance for him and Buck and confessing on the way.

Eddie was desperate.

Instead of risking a felony, Eddie went with an even riskier option.

“Buck,” he sidled up to his friend, swinging an arm over his shoulders, “You good to join me in the gym for a little one-on-one?” Not the safest place given how accessible their gym was in the open floor plan. If he timed the barbell lifts right, Eddie could give them some protection.

Buck deflated, stepping away from Eddie’s hug. “Sorry, Eddie… no can do.”

“What? Why?”

He frowned, tilting his head in confusion. “Really? You know why…” At Eddie’s silence, Buck continued. “Ever since the accident I… I can’t work out like I used to. I had to switch up how I do things and… find new ways.”

“Oh,” Eddie mirrored his expression, “How, uh… how have you been exercising then? Because - I mean - you’re still looking fit and everything and you had to keep up your strength when going through training of course…”

Buck smiled, ducking his gaze to hide a blush. The sight of flushed skin sent chills racing down Eddie’s spine. “Been doing some classes, got a personal trainer… who I really like. He’s - uh, he’s cool. Derek, I… it’s been different, but uh - uh new. In a good way.”

A good way. Said to the floor yet Eddie still bears the brunt of the blow. Repeatedly suffering with each mention of ‘Derek’. Especially since, after first finding out about him, he becomes a recurrence in his life.

“There’s this really cool trick Derek showed me that’ll cut cramp recovery in half the time.”

“Derek, he had this really funny story he was telling in the middle of our planks…”

“I didn’t think yoga was that effective, but after one class with Derek I can see why people do it.”

Derek. Derek. Derek. He took his place in Buck’s life as his exercise partner without him knowing. The longer he waits the better chance he has of graduating from ‘trainer’ to ‘boyfriend’.

But Derek keeps him at bay. The specter of him shadows every conversation they have. Eddie imagining telling Buck his feelings only to be shot down because some random guy swooped in and struck the scalding iron while Eddie didn’t even know the metal was hot. As more time passed, Eddie sparingly saw his friend.

“It could be nothing,” Frank said. Eddie ignored him, pacing the room. “If you talked to him -”

“I mean it’s perfect,” Eddie spiraled, “being a trainer means that he can get close without there being any questions. Touch Buck’s muscles or - or press his chest to Buck’s back while showing him how to do a move or whatever.”

“If he does then that’s harassment, Eddie. Buck pays him to be his trainer and nothing more.”

“But it could be something,” Eddie turned to him, “The way he talks about Derek… there’s this stupid smile on his face that he gets when he has it bad for someone. Had it when he told me about Abby, when he was with Ally... “

“Did he ever have it when he was with you?” Eddie stayed firm in his silence, refusing to answer him. Frank continued, undeterred. “You’re jumping to conclusions without all the facts. If you talked to him -”

“It wouldn’t make a difference! He’s already gone on some other lucky jerk.”

“And is that so bad?”

He stiffened. “What do you mean? Of course it’s bad!”

“I don’t believe you think that,” Frank said, “To me, it sounds like you’re using this Derek as an excuse to back out of confessing your feelings to Buck. You’re afraid Buck might say no. Having Derek there is the perfect option because if he’s in Buck’s life than you don’t have to tell him.”

Eddie imploded. Glared at Frank, biting down every bit of bile he wanted to spew at his therapist. Swallowed it all and stormed from the room before he did something he regretted. Carried that dark cloud with him from the parking lot to Buck’s apartment where they surprised him with another party. Celebrating him being off blood thinners and hopefully not have it end like last time.

“What happens in therapy stays in therapy,” Eddie mumbles, pushing off the wall, “now if you’ll excuse me.” He escapes them, squeezing through the sewing needle loop between Hen and Chimney.

They follow, matching his hurried pace. Trying to carry the conversation even though Eddie keeps dropping it.

Luckily he sees a distraction by the mirror. Christopher stares at himself, smiling. Eddie walks over and crouches down next to him. “Hey, buddie, what are you looking at?”

“Denny said I had a piece of spinach stuck in my teeth,” Christopher says, “but I… can’t see it.”

Eddie studies his son’s teeth, aware of the figures standing behind him. “I don’t see it either.”

“Denny probably did that so he could cheat,” Hen sighs, “boy is the sorest of losers.”

“You should get back to your game, then, before you end up in last place.” Eddie squeezes Christopher’s shoulders, resigned to losing his shield against the circling vultures. He reaches forward and places a hand on the mirror’s frame, using it to steady his ascent.

At full height, Eddie notices his reflection fading somewhat. Suddenly a figure pops up, smiling and sweating, frozen in mid stretch.

“Whoa, whoa, hey,” Buck rushes over, smile twitching with nerves, “what, uh… what’s everybody doing?”

Chimney jerks his thumb at the scene. “Wondering why there’s a man trapped in your mirror?”

“There is?” Buck feigns surprise, eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. “I don’t - I don’t know how he got there?”

“What? Of course you do, Buck,” Maddie says, joining the conversation, “I helped you set him up and everything.”

“Maddie -”

“Maddie,” Chimney cuts Buck off, “you know what’s going on?”

She nods, pointing to the man in the mirror with her cup. “Being Buck’s sister I was the only one who was forced to listen to him complain about how he was going to lose everything he worked so hard for. Just because he couldn’t work out like he used to because of the accident. One day while listening to him go on and on about it this ad popped up for mirrors that double as personal trainers.” A string snaps in Eddie’s mind, the sound echoing madly. He looks over to Buck, the other man watching his feet while his ears burn. “Anyway I said I would personally buy this mirror for him if it would get him to shut up. He agreed, but only if he liked it. Day after it arrived Buck wasn’t complaining anymore. Best paycheck I ever spent…”

“Wait,” Hen glances between Maddie and the mirror, “so this is a personal trainer?”

“Yeah,” Maddie leans over to tap the glass, despite Buck’s attempts to stop her. The screen shifts and an array of faces smile at them. Derek’s larger than the rest, head enlarged and name clearly labeled below it.

There he was. Derek .

“You can pick from a whole array of trainers depending on what classes you want. It’s really interesting, and Buck seems to like it.”

“Maddie -”

“I figured you all knew about it since he’s replaced complaining with praising his trainer Derek,” she chuckles, elbowing her brother. “Little teacher’s pet.”

“ Maddie .”

Their small crowd thins after that. Christopher returns to his game, and Chimney leads Maddie towards the kitchen to steal some more food. Eddie stares at Derek, a mixture of confusion and relief churning in his stomach.

Hen sidles up to him. “You wanna know something?”

“What?”

“That Derek guy kind of looks like you.”

Eddie whips around in shock, ready to fire a denial. She dips before he can pull the trigger, safe by her wife’s side. Loaded and nowhere to go, Eddie looks at Derek. Sees how, in a certain light, they could be reflections of each other. However Derek’s hair is much longer than his, pulled tight in a bun, And there’s a mole under his nose that draws the eye to it without trying.

Derek disappears, the mirror returning to normal. It’s his face gazing back at him now, Eddie’s a few inches to his side.

“So,” he says, “you’ve met Derek.”

“Yeah. I did.” Eddie turns to him, “Why didn’t you tell me he was in your mirror? I’ve been here how many times, used this mirror, and it had a double life?”

“I… I guess I was embarrassed,” Buck tells him, wringing his hands, “of…”

He guesses, “Of him being in a mirror.”

“Well, that,” Buck says, eyes bouncing around the room, unable to meet Eddie’s stare, “and, because…” His words dissolve into dust.

Eddie understands. Finally sees what he needs. An emotion reflected in his own eyes, not distorted by doubt or fear.

“Y’know,” he starts, running a hand across the mirror’s surface, “this is pretty cool.”

“...It is.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, smiling at Buck’s face in the mirror, “think you could invite me over the next time you use this?”

Buck frowns, “Why? You already got a good routine going.”

“I’ve been in the mood to shake things up,” Eddie tells him, “and besides… I missed working out with you.”

“You did?” Mood shifting rapidly, Eddie swoons at the dizzying grin lighting up Buck’s face.

“Of course…” Eddie’s hand runs across Buck’s reflection, petting his chest, “there’s a lot of time I have to make up for. We can start with exercise and… go from there.”

Buck nods enthusiastically. “I’d like that.”

The party goes on without them, both men are lost in their own world. Eddie feels the darkness that ate at his heart fade, replaced by the warm embrace of understanding. In lieu of talking Eddie prepares for his exercise date. Stretches the words in his mind so they’ll be ready for the day. Imagines how it will go. And, when successful, Eddie kisses Buck. Derek long gone from the mirror. Only them captured inside it.

[celticfeather]

Chpt 1 Here

Chapter 7: Yatagarasu

-Uchiha Itachi-

Itachi dragged his thumb through the blood and smeared it to a pattern on the dirt. Smoke overtook the scent of blood, and he saw soft light gently reflect on scaled black claws. Itachi did not know if he could trust his partner to help him, but the alternative was death.

"Bring me Kisame."

The four-spiked eye of a martyr blinked animally, and the toothy choanal slit inside its beak separated the fading light as his messenger cawed its obedience. Air and dust from the downstroke puffed against his face, and Itachi was terrifyingly, relievingly, alone.

Itachi focused on breathing. In and out, like the waves on the sand of the mangrove shore. He wanted to cough, but some still-reptile part of his brain advised him that was unwise. The vibrant world of the sharingan had faded in the sad colors and weak detail of an ordinary human eye, and then to something less than that. Itachi did not know if he closed his eyes, he did not know how blind he was, some things he saw from multiple angles at once... He drew gentle swirls with his fingers in the mud. Tiny Vs like rising crows, no, they were gills, three tight chevrons next to esurient silver eyes. Why was there mud beneath him? The summer was hot and dry.

He could see a dead weasel on the ground next to him. A convocation of crows gathered in an impatient funeral. With plunging swordlike beaks they tore out the weasel's tongue. They raised its tiny black eyes, tender as berries, and the nerves slithered down their throats. A crow hopped over the corpse's ribs, it had three legs. They tore open Itachi's chest and bore into his heart and all was hot and red, and then, nothing.

He heard a hiss. Samehada, no, heal him damn you!

He felt wind on his face, and his head swung dizzily, though he didn't remember telling his legs to move. The being who smelled of ocean's salt took him somewhere; its humid scent was unfamiliar to him.

Two strange tall birds looked at him. One was orange with violet eyes and the other was violet with orange eyes.

"He needs a healer," the breath of salt sailed to the violet bird.

"I'm a sensory ninja. Not a medic. But there's a doctor in a village nearby."

The world shifted as the ocean bowed. "I'm sorry for assuming."

Shivering steel chilled Itachi's wet skin. A bee stung him on the arm. Someone gave him a glass of orange juice with a straw. It was sweet, tangy and delicious, bright as an orange blossom on a mud puddle. His attention drew to this glass of juice, and his surroundings sharpened. He became aware of a stranger in a white coat in the background.

"The IV will ease the desanguination. However, proceeding further has drawbacks..."

"Like what?" the ocean voice said.

Itachi was out of orange juice. He tried to get the doctor's attention, but he was busy. A blue hand gave him another juice. What a kind hand.

"Chakra-healing him will cause permanent scar tissue damage in his chest cavity. If we go through with this, he could have endurance problems for the rest of his life."

"And if you do nothing?"

"The internal bleeding will rot his organs, and in two days, sepsis will kill him."

"Please do all you can."

The doctor placed his cold hands on Itachi's bare chest. He felt he should have shivered, or flinched, but his body would no longer respond to its nervous impulses. A pulsing like ripples on a puddle spread across his body. It warmed his limbs like alcohol but dispelled the delirium like icewater.

Itachi coughed the blood clot that previously must have held his lungs together. The doctor grimaced.

"Excuse me," Itachi apologized through bloody teeth, looking up at an unfamiliar doctor from the red soaked towel.

The doctor's eyes traced to the medical-waste bin adjacent the chair, and Itachi deposited the towel there.

"How do you feel?" the doctor asked.

Itachi did not feel like answering. He looked instead at the two other menacing individuals in the room with him.

"You are, as usual, praised for your discretion," Konan, the violet crane, told the doctor in what was both thanks and a threat. She drew a black velvet pouch from her robe and paid him in gold coins. It seemed Konan at least was unconstrained by Kakuzu's budget. The pleased doctor accepted the gold without concern.

Itachi examined the treatment room. The equipment was modern, but it was on the ground floor of an ordinary building, with mud walls, and a glassless sunny window. Konan and Kisame stood backlit. He had thought he'd seen Pain, but their leader had not accompanied them to the doctor if he had been there at all. Itachi was not sure what he had imagined of the last hours and what was real. In as subtle a way as he could, he pressed his fingertips over his own eyelids, his tongue against his palette, to make sure they were real. That no crows had picked them out.

He looked at Kisame, his silver eyes were like cautious mirrors. In front of this doctor and Konan, Kisame's expression maintained a perfect mask of normality. Itachi was tempted to probe his thoughts, cast aside the flimsy tin shields guarding the man's mind and dive beneath. He could do it, but he didn't.

The three Akatsuki exited the building. Konan, tall for a woman at his height, walked on his right side with Kisame on his left. Her amber eyes slid to Itachi with aloof concern. "Who did this?"

"Anbu got a hit in while we slept. We took care of them," Kisame answered for him.

"It happens. Have someone professional clean your robes," she advised. She gave them each a gold coin. Little did she know they were already loaded with stolen cash. But they took the gold anyway.

She flared her angular paper wings, and Konan left the fire and water pair to their devices.

"Do we stink?" Itachi asked, turning the gold coin.

"Yes. Well, you do. I can't smell me."

The chakra healing left Itachi feeling disquietingly whole, minus a tightness in his chest. It had been since his Leaf Village days that he received effective treatment. The closest the Akatsuki pack of killers had to a field medic was Kakuzu, and well… fortunately Itachi had never needed his reattachment specialty. Or Sasori, who after a battle might aloofly recommend a certain plant. 'A purple mountain bloom with heart shaped leaves, but chew only its roots, for the pistil metabolizes a stealthy toxin when combined with hydrochloric acid…'

A stealthy toxin.

Kisame gave him a wary, perhaps expectant, side eye as the two men walked silently abreast.

"A question for you, Kisame."

"Yes?"

"You do understand, entrapping me would not be wise for your health," Itachi warned, eyes straight forward.

"You think I set you up."

"I entertain the possibility. You repeatedly asked me about the Infinite Tsukuyomi, interrogated me on the whisper of disagreement, and Zetsu reported it to Madara."

A daring smile. Kisame halted on the path. "Why don't you just look in my head and find out?"

Itachi used no genjutsu on Kisame. When he didn't, Kisame spoke.

"When you disappeared from that orchard, I imagined you and our leader had some Uchiha secrets to discuss. Or you pissed him off. That raven of yours found me, and with one look at your sorry carcass, I knew that you definitely pissed him off.

"But, if Madara wanted you dead, I would not have been able to help you."

Kisame's statement did not exactly exonerate him of double play. Obviously Madara had still had a use for Itachi in letting him live, and therefore Kisame would be instructed to treat him. But it did explain Kisame's train of thought. He believed Kisame was innocent of conducting any purposeful snare against him, for now. Perhaps in asking his questions, the wandering Kisame had just been curious on his worldview. And Itachi realized, he wanted to investigate his partner's principles as well.

"What happened after Madara took you?" Kisame asked.

"Madara used his ability to teleport me somewhere, through some other dimension. We exchanged words, then blows. When he let me live, I vowed my hatred."

"Hopefully he'll credit your rudeness to you being delirious from pain," Kisame continued. "Otherwise, you've got a problem on your hands."

Somehow Kisame's chastation relieved him.

"I know," Itachi agreed. "You need not worry about me. I'll hunt this beast of his — I would prefer not to die."

A short, sure laugh from Kisame.

Itachi's contract with Madara stood: the Leaf would be safe from him as long as he fell in the Akatsuki line. And Itachi would do whatever it took to serve the Will of Fire. Itachi was, for better or for worse, a master of small evils.

"In my hallucinations, I saw the three-legged crow, Yatagarasu. In the myth of my country, he heralds the emergence of gods," Itachi said.

"You've got some weird religion in the Leaf," Kisame dismissed.

"What is the folk religion in the Mist?" Itachi asked.

"Our elders say the world was born on the back of a giant turtle. And when that turtle dies, the world will sink back into the sea."

"So you learn how to swim," Itachi noted.

"I'm not saying I believe in giant turtle gods."

"What does Hoshigaki Kisame believe in then?"

A grunt, apparently.

Kisame was a being on the hunt, the hunt for some sort of belief system. He sought belonging in serving something greater than himself. So he attached himself to Akatsuki and the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Without it Kisame had no purpose and no self.

No, that last part was false.

"Thank you for helping me," Itachi said. "I apologize for accusing you of betraying me."

Kisame looked away from him and said, "Not a problem."

Itachi viewed the sky with his Sharingan. He searched for the ultraviolet aurora of the earth's magnetic field. Perhaps in a peaceful century, the Uchiha clan would reveal to scientists that this was the mystery of how birds migrated: they could see these magnetic, purplish, static in the sky that indicated latitude and north. But Itachi's ancestors taught him early to never reveal exactly how the Sharingan worked to outsiders. The magnetic field hazed in a weak aurora far to the northern horizon, indicating that they were further south than previously.

"Where exactly are we?" Itachi asked.

"Can you smell it? Land of Tea," Kisame answered.

An idea germinated in Itachi. It would be on the way. He thought of banished Susanoo, who wandering earth after his crimes, found his greatest weapon, his Totsuka Blade, in the belly of a giant serpent he had slain.

"I would like to speak with someone here."

"Never took you for one good at making friends."

"I'm not."

"Anything I should know about them?"

"If he licks you… bite him."

Kisame, expression amused, gestured for Itachi to lead the way.

In a few hours, the two dangerous men had arrived in an equally dangerous place.

With his Sharingan, Itachi noticed a small camouflaged snake emerge from a crack, flick its tongue, and recede. He was unsure if his target would answer his summons but it was worth trying. No, he would be answered. This man's greatest sin was curiosity. He would not be able to resist wondering why Uchiha Itachi was on his doorstep, even if it killed him.

The stonework hidden under the jungle vines began to tremble. Itachi had not seen this individual since their last clash in the Akatsuki. Itachi had paralyzed him with a glance and struck his body full of rods. He had not even needed the Tsukuyomi.

A slender white-skinned demon stepped from the revealed earthen cave. His venom-smooth androgynous voice coursed unruffled to the two ninja.

"The young crow approaches the snake at its den. Not how I expected your revenge, Itachi."

"If I wanted you dead, I would have done it already," Itachi commanded.

Orochimaru, somewhat more diplomatic than Itachi, narrowed his eyes. An uneasy wind blew between the two Leaf Rogues as Orochimaru waited for more information. Itachi was too merciless to speak twice.

"Orochimaru of the Sanin," Kisame broke the silence, stretching his lips over his teeth and maintaining eye contact in something between a greeting and a threat. "Good to meet you at last."

"And who are you?" the Sanin returned.

"Hoshigaki Kisame, formerly of the Hidden Mist. A pleasure."

"Mhm," Orochimaru hummed smug as a song, and his vertical pupils traced back to his main interest. The question was an insult: the most knowledgeable being in the five nations surely already knew who Hoshigaki Kisame was.

"I require information," Itachi said. He had reserved fatal judgement on Orochimaru at their last encounter in hopes that this Sanin's talents could be subverted. And one way or another, Itachi would collect his debts.

"Concerning?"

"Forbidden jutsu."

A sly, approving, perhaps flirtatious noise. "You know who to ask."

Orochimaru headed into his dark den, exposing his back in a gesture Itachi found coquette and arrogant. Orochimaru turned his head for Itachi to follow, and paced forward into the darkness. Kisame made eye contact with Itachi, sensing the matter was far more personal than it seemed. Perhaps Kisame's pause confirmed that he was welcome.

"Come," Itachi said. They needed to get away from where Zetsu could see them. And, he could use an ally's eyes in a house of the enemy. Itachi was not arrogant enough to think he was above being outsmarted by an Orochimaru with years to ruminate against him.

Like down the esophagus of a snake, the two rogues walked an earthen corridor after Orochimaru. Flaming sconces gleamed green on modern scientific equipment, and animal specimens lined the walls in glass jars. The jars contained mostly reptiles, but Kisame looked at a shark pup and a crow, and back at Itachi.

In the belly of his lair, Orochimaru halted before a green flaming hearth in a great stone hall. Library halls of tomes and scrolls stretched behind him. He faced Itachi with the flames at his back.

"How truly desperate you must be to come to me for wisdom, Itachi. However… my knowledge has a price."

Itachi did not come to trade.

"I've come to reap your debt. Your cooperation is wholly optional." Itachi's Sharingan spinned Mangekyou.

The fire at the hearth extinguished and it was completely, disorientingly black. Itachi and Kisame were blind. Itachi could not use his genjutsu without light. But he knew snakes could sense heat signatures as precisely as an eye could light. He felt Kisame tense next to him, and his arm reach for Samehada.

Stay calm, Itachi thought at Kisame. He would feel it in his body.

"There's no need for that," Orochimaru deescalated from the darkness. Apparently he had changed his mind on the payment.

"Good," Itachi maintained curtly. "We will continue this discussion in the light."

The green fire returned. Samehada slid back into its hilt. Itachi's eyes retracted to their normal red.

"So," Orochimaru said.

"Tell me all you know about the Second Hokage's instant transportation technique."

An amused purr. "Teleportation. My, my, who has got you on the run, Itachi?"

"We've got places to be," Kisame maintained. The Mist ninja was right.

Itachi cared little about being on time for their next mission in the Land of Rivers. But he had to conceal the exact target of his question from both Kisame and Orochimaru. Madara had no doubt used something related to the Second Hokage's technique for his dimension-hopping. And until Itachi had a way to bind Madara to this plane, Itachi knew he would lose their next fight.

"As much as I respect the Second, it was the young Fourth who was the true master of space-time techniques," Orochimaru said, stepping towards his library.

"I understand. The Flying Thunder-God technique gained the Yellow Flash a run-on-sight order from the enemy alliance, and created the illusion that he was in multiple places at once."

"You are not completely uneducated," Orochimaru pulled a scroll from the wall.

"I would also like to know how to disable it."

Orochimaru paused. "You mean, how an enemy could theoretically stop the Fourth from transporting himself."

"Yes."

"There is some research into this."

"By who?"

Orochimaru pulled a second scroll. "Minato himself. However, Minato's research went incomplete. It involved a sealing jutsu currently unreplicatable."

Orochimaru opened the scroll to Itachi. On it was written a simple character in a brownish ink.

"Human blood," Itachi noted. Aged.

"Minato's blood, specifically. Unfortunately, as you know, Namikaze Minato has been a corpse for thirteen years."

"There must be another way," Itachi said.

Orochimaru closed the scroll. "You could ask him."

"Make no jokes, or worse, threats, Orochimaru," Itachi warned.

Orochimaru dipped his sly head without submission. "I apologize."

Itachi examined Minato's blood scroll. "Are these two all you have on the transportation subject?"

"All that would be of succinct use to you."

Itachi turned the scroll in his hand. He would keep them both for study. Orochimaru was too wise to comment or object.

"We'll be taking our leave now." Itachi said.

"A moment."

Orochimaru presented Itachi with a snake's egg. It was rubbery and pill shaped, rather than hard and tear-drop shaped like a bird's.

"If you need to come here again, do be polite and use this."

Fair chance Itachi would awake to a snake hatchling poisoning him in his sleep, or find himself strapped on the demon's dissection table when activating it. But Itachi accepted the egg anyway. Same as the original Orochimaru, it could be researched, repurposed, or destroyed.

Itachi walked out of Orochimaru's lair, the two scrolls under his arm, purposefully slow and dominant. Then he and Kisame ran briefly in the daylight trees, not wanting to dwell in Orochimaru's territory, and slowed again to a walk when they thought themselves far enough from any possible backstabbing. Kisame extended the first of the two scrolls before him.

"'Mark the jutsu formula on the target...' how are we supposed to use this? We can't teleport ourselves to this country if we've never been there before."

"Indeed we cannot," Itachi said.

"Well!" Kisame closed the scroll with unusual enthusiasm. "Too bad your transportation idea didn't work. I suppose we'll have to travel to the Land of Rivers my way."

As he spoke, Kisame looked through the jungle trees at the emerging ocean.

Your way? Itachi battled a sinking premonition. "Does it involve giant sharks?"

"No."

Good.

"Just one question for you, Itachi."

"Yes?"

"Have you ever taken over a ship before?"

Author's note:

Aaand next up is chapter 8, the KisaIta zany sea adventure!

Many thanks to beta SilverLion for her help reviewing this chapter!

Thank you readers for being patient with this chapter. I had an especially difficult time navigating current world events and I had to leave my home. But it's important to weaponize your creativity when you're stuck in the unknown. Please share this story with your friends if you like it, and let me know what you think :D

Steadfast,

Kelto

[livingmybestfictionallife]

As I See It, Yes --Chapter Three

Tag List: @smilexcaptainx, @1-birdie-1, @bubblyanarocks3, @lilo-1398, @broken-pieces, @yessy2012 (sorry if I forgot any of my permanent tags)

“What do you mean they fired you?” Although Dally’s mouth was filled with french fries and hamburger, he thought the instant I finished my anecdote was the best time to reply. “You’re the best dam employee that dump had.” We sat in the Dairy Queen parking lot, me in the driver’s seat with my knees pulled into my chest, and him stretched out across the passenger seat.

“Karen tried to play the sympathy card,” I said as I took a bite of my junior Hunger Buster. “I said I didn’t want anyone’s damn charity and walked out the door. What a dumbass mistake,” I sighed. “She was going to give me paid leave until I left for school.”

“And you walked out on that?” he asked before sucking down his Coke. I could see in his eyes he was silently chastising me for one of the only moments of brash decision making in my life.

“I’m sick of people looking at me as nothing but a charity case,” I snapped, “and I know I messed up and screwed my brothers over, but...” I couldn’t think of where my sentence was going, and luckily, Dallas filled my silence with shrouded support.

“They’re all a bunch of morons,” he said as I slumped down into the driver seat of my car and folded my arms over my chest. “The world’s full of morons and there’s very few people like you and me who recognize them as morons. All the other’s love them for their ignorant arrogance.” I rolled my eyes and pursed my lips tightly before bringing myself to look over at him in the passenger seat. “I bet you can’t wait to get out of here now, huh?” I shrugged again, still feeling numb and indifferent toward everything that was happening.

“I promised Ponyboy I’d take him to a movie,” I s aid while looking at the clock, desperate to change the subject. It was 12:45 no. I had been sitting with Dallas for over an hour, just talking. I took one last small bite of my burger before handing it to him, which he quickly finished off in less than a minute.

“Yeah, I know you did. Try going home and sleeping all this off,” I flinched as he put his hand on my shoulder while offering a short ‘goodbye.’ I wasn’t ready for Dallas to leave. His company was the only thing keeping me from thinking about everything I’d done and regretting the necessary actions I took to defend myself.

“Nah, let’s just see Sodapop, he’ll cheer my up,” I said earnestly. I drove to the DX and waited for my younger brother to come out and offer to pump gas into the car. Dally got out quickly and went inside to talk to Steve while I stayed outside with the golden headed boy before me. I could see a question itching at his throat, but he wouldn’t ask it. I loved Soda because of that. He’s the type of guy that knows something is going on but always takes into account your feelings. He won’t ever force you into saying how you feel; he lets you come to him.

“It’s nothing to worry about,” I said softly while slinging my arm around his shoulder blades. He nodded but I knew he was starting to get anxious. “Hey,” I cooed to try and cheer him up, “nothing’s wrong, okay? Just a little misunderstanding, that’s all.”

“Between who?” He raised his eyebrow skeptically and my arm slid off his back

“Me and some Socs,” I admitted.

“What’d they do?” he asked while finishing up at the pump and leaning against the car. I tried to think of how to word what happened--I hadn’t even really given Dallas the details about why I’d gotten fired. I was afraid of telling the guys of anything like that, of anything that had to do with someone hurting me in any way. I knew they’d beat the hell out of whoever did anything to me, but they’d also treat me like a fragile, easily damaged porcelain doll. “Austin?” Soda said while lowering his eyes at me.

“Nothing,” I chewed on the word, knowing deep down Soda had already figured out my lie.

“Darry isn’t going to be very happy about this,” he said slowly. I ighed and agreed.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine,” I added. “Come on, let’s go inside. I’ve got a little bit of time to kill before I’m meeting Ponyboy at that movie.” We walked inside, feeling the rush of cols air envelope me the second I opened the door. It was a small, cramped little building that had a little bit of merchandise like candy, cokes, chips, a small variety of fishing bait and some car parts, but on days like these, where the sun bakes everything that lives, the little building was a huge escape.

Steve was sitting down in a folding chair and Dallas was leaning against the wall. He was always doing that. I think he likes to look mysterious and alluring so he always leans up against dingy walls in his dark leather in the heat of summer just to resemble this enigma that needs to be unraveled. Soda sat down next to Steve and I lifted myself onto a counter and let my legs dangle over the edge. For a while, it was silent, with Soda thinking through the worst possible situations i could have been in to cause me to lie to him--probably glossing over what happened and actively shoving it from his mind--with Steve picking at his cuticles and Dallas lighting up a cigarette. I noticed he was standing close to an open window and was blowing smoke streams outside. 

“How’s business?” Dally asked while trying to blow a smoke ring into the wind.

“Slow, but it’s just cause it’s too damn hot for people to come out here,” Steve shrugged. He could be a bit of a jerk to me at times--pretty much just acting like I don’t exist from time to time--but I ignore him. He was a bitter guy and I put that behind me although he gets on my nerves when he treats Ponyboy lousy.

“Shouldn’t you be headed to the movies?” Soda asked as his eyes fell on the clock hanging on the wall over Dallas’s head. I glanced in that direction, catching a quick glimpse of Dally’s dark eyes before turning my attention back to Soda and nodding.

“I’ll see you guys later?” I asked while I twirled my keys around my finger and surveyed their faces as each responded with a ‘yes.’ With that assurance, I rushed out of the DX, got back in my car, and made my way toward the movies where Ponyboy was no doubt walking to or waiting at.

As I anticipated, my youngest brother was early and impatiently tapping his foot, probably wondering if I bailed on him. I felt bad for Pony; ever since Mom and Dad died, he’s felt left out and unwanted. He’d always been especially close with Soda, and at least when Mom and Dad were around and Steve would claim a monopoly on the middle Curtis brother, Pony could turn toward our parents, but now I’m the only one who has enough patience to watch movies with him or just sit in silence as we each read our separate books.

“Did you get the tickets?” I asked while running up to meet him on the sidewalk outside of the theatre doors.

“Yeah, did you want any popcorn or a Coke or something?” he offered.

“I’m fine, bud. What about you? Do you want something?” I asked. “My treat!” He shook his head then looked me in the eyes and called me out, wasting no time in beating around the bush.

“I went to the library today. Where were you? That girl you work with told me you were fired. Is it true? What happened?” The kid spat about a million questions at me all at once and I couldn’t help being overwhelmed with his anxieties about my problems.

“Calm down,” I tried to say as we walked into the movie house and made our way down the hall to the theatre. “Some asshole of a Soc started getting wise with me, so I set him straight,” I said with a small, disappointing smirk on my face. I could tell Ponyboy, like Soda earlier, refused to believe the glimpsed truth I gave him. I was kind of thankful that Dallas was the first person I’d told about what happened. He didn’t pester me with questions regarding my vague explanation and didn’t bother to get details. I knew my brothers were dying to continue peppering me with questions until I cracked and gave them the whole truth, but Dallas was never the kind of person to give two shits about something that didn’t directly affect him...and even then he hardly cared.

“You’re hanging around Dal too much,” Ponyboy whispered as we took our seats and the previews began.

“What makes you say that?” I asked him softly.

“Because that’s a Dally excuse for getting in trouble, not an Austin excuse,” he explained before the theatre lights dimmed even more. As soon as the film began to roll, Ponyboy’s posture perked and his eyes were glued to the screen. I tried to ignore the immature kids tossing popcorn at other people’s heads and the couples that started making out, and turned my attention to the movie as well, carefully taking it in one scene at a time.

All in all, it was a good movie. Ponyboy and I always enjoy a good storyline and I’ve always had a secret affinity for billiards. I know it’s nothing to be proud about, but I’ve gotten into the nasty habit of hustling people out of a hundred bucks or so every other week down at Buck Merrill’s place--like I said, I did a little bit of here and there stuff for a but of extra cash to help my brothers.

Ponyboy and I were walking out of the movie house behind everyone else in the careful cluster of people exiting all at once, careful not to draw attention to ourselves. We made it to the ticket booth before I heard someone calling out my brother’s name. Each of us turned toward the kid inside of the glass, ticket box who offered my brother and me a soft smile. “Your brother told me to give yall this,” he said while slipping a piece of paper through the ticket slot. I caught the boy winking at me as I was turning to read the note over Ponyboy’s shoulder.

Had to pick up the car! I’ll keep her safe. --Sodapop Curtis

          P.S. Austin, I hope you don’t mind, but I told the guy at the booth you’re single.

I rolled my eyes at Soda’s postscript and tried to ignore the chuckle coming from Ponyboy’s lungs as we started on the walk home. My brothers have never been satisfied with my romantic life. If I’m not in a relationship, they question it, saying I’m too much of a catch to not have someone pining after me, but judging by the rare occasions where I’ve been in a relationship, they hate whoever I’m with and do everything in their power to understand “why him?” The gang was no better. About a year ago, a guy came up to me in the hall between classes, asking if I wanted to go to some school dance with him and, to my dismay, Two-Bit had been watching. Before I could open my mouth to respond, Two-Bit had his arm wrapped around my waist and his whole body leaned against me in a successful attempt to make the guy asking me out feel awkward and uncomfortable, inevitably scaring him off by unwarrantedly pretending to be my boyfriend. Who knows what would happen if anyone in the gang suddenly decided they thought of me as anything other than Darry, Soda, and Pony’s sister.

Ponyboy and I had been making our way back to the house, each of us lost in our own thoughts, for almost ten minutes. I was careful to keep my thoughts and emotions locked in my heart and head, for fear of what my youngest brother would say if I were to even question my internal conflicts out loud.

“I wish I looked like Paul Newman,” Ponyboy grumbled as he kicked a stone down the sidewalk, voicing the thoughts he’d been wrestling with since seeing the movie.

“I like how you look, Pony. You’re a real handsome gentleman,” I commented. He shrugged and stifled a smile but I knew he was blushing. Maybe he was Bashful and not Johnny. “You look loads better than Paul Newman,” I said proudly. “All of my brothers do.”

“You have a mighty high opinion of us then,” he stated. “Any girl would die if Paul Newman showed up asking to take her to a movie or something.” I sighed and shrugged.

“Any girl would be lucky if a Curtis showed up on her porch looking to take her to a movie,” I said with a smile. “Besides, I don’t understand the obsession with Paul Newman. Brando, James Dean! Damn I could see losing myself over them, but Paul Newman?” An honest laugh came from Ponyboy’s lips and I smiled, knowing I’d succeeded in cheering him up.

“Shoot, you’re better looking than all of us and you don’t have a fella,” Ponyboy said.

“James Dean was my one and only,” I joked, “until Brando comes for me.” Although I still got a laugh out of him, Ponyboy pestered for a real answer.

“I’m serious,” he sighed, “if you can’t get anyone, why should I think I can?”

“Because, Pony, you’re sweet and kind and a good looking kid. I’m leaving soon so starting something with someone doesn’t make any sense to me. Besides, it’s not like I don’t have any interests,” I said while playfully hitting his arm. He rolled his eyes at me.

“Brando doesn’t count,” he muttered as we kept walking, kicking the rock back and forth between each other for another mile before I bent over and picked it up. I held the rock firmly in my hand, overly aware of the car that was following us. We were almost home. Only a little further to go on Independence before we reached our house, but trouble was already looking for us and didn’t want to wait any longer.

“Are they still following us?” Pony asked quickly. I knew he could sense a change in the way I carried myself, but I didn’t think he had noticed the baby blue mustang that had suspiciously driven past us twice now. I nodded in response.

“Don’t turn around,” I stated. “Keep going this pace and don’t run until we’re where they can’t drive after us.”

“Cut through the alley,” he said while turning quick enough to startle me but not enough to look unnatural. To our dismay, the car was able to follow us down the alley. I heard them park and a hoard of guys rushed after us.

“Run,” I muttered under my breath to my brother. Each of us took off, our feet colliding painfully with the pavement as we tried to get closer to home. With the end of the alley’s cover came sunshine and exposure--publicity. Ponyboy had made it out and I was almost there before I felt someone’s hands fall heavily on my hips and shove me against the side of a building.

“Here she is, fellas!” the voice was too familiar and rage swelled in me again. “The broad from the library.” I looked over to see two Socs standing over my brother with one of their knees driven into his stomach.

“Back off, asshole,” I snapped at him and drove my fist into his jaw hard enough to free myself for a moment, not hardly long enough to reach Ponyboy, but for just enough time to run into the cover of sunlight only to be tackled to the ground by the guy I recognized as Lawrence. I was closer to Pony now. If he and I were to stretch out, our fingers could have touched, but there we were, suffering alone for the other to witness. I wished I had something better than a stupid piece of gravel to defend myself with, but I knew I could make do with what I had.

“Try and run now, bitch!” Lawrence snapped as his open hand came crashing down on the side of my face. I writhed against his hold and was able to shimmy part of myself free, but my nearly overpowering him only lead to another Soc aiding Lawrence in pinning me to the ground.

“Get off of me!” I shrieked.

“Shut her up,” Lawrence instructed the other guy who then pulled a bright red bandana from his back pocket. Shit, I thought to myself while trying to steal a glance at Ponyboy. He was struggling to breathe under the weight of the Soc’s knee and I could see a knife being placed against his neck. SHIT. Quickly, I pulled my knees up to rock Lawrence off my stomach, slammed his head against my shoulder, and kicked him off me for only a matter of seconds. It was in those few seconds that I was able to sit up and hurl the stone in my hand at the small gathering of Socs that loomed over my little brother. As soon as I heard a shout of pain, I gasped. Lawrence had thrown himself back on top of me, this time shoving me across the pavement, scraping my back, shoulders, and elbows, and laying into me in a way that meant only one thing.

“Soda! Darry! Someone help!” I could hear Ponyboy screaming. At that point I could only see one of the four hovered over him. I knew Lawrence was lying on top of me, but I didn’t know where the others were until I felt two hands on each of my ankles and shins, holding me against the ground. Lawrence had gotten a hold of my wrists in one of his hands and held them above my head, shoving my knuckles into the burning asphalt. He was sitting on my stomach, keeping me from breathing in as much as I could, and lowering his lips to my neck and face. I was writhing against his hold, trying anything I could think of to get loose. I kicked and punched until I became so enraged a scream I do not remember leaving my body pierced the neighborhood. I could hear a voice go on for miles...my voice. Nothing was working. I could only overpower so many for so long before exhaustion would set in. I wanted to be stronger, to be able to break his nose or do some sort of significant damage, but I couldn’t. All I could do was swing my elbows and hope for the best, but even then, Lawrence had such a tight grip on my hands and wrists that moving seemed relatively impossible. I was able to momentarily free my right arm and swung a hard fist into the bridge of his nose. Finally, I sighed to myself as I watched blood pool from his nostrils, but having a bloody, possibly broken nose did nothing to slow Lawrence’s pace. If anything, it made him more dedicated to hurting me in the way he had planned.

Lawrence grabbed me again but this time instructed one of the guys holding my legs to hold down my arms instead. His face lowered towards mine again, and I knew this time he wasn’t looking to breath hot threats against my skin. His free hand had traveled along my shirt and was desperately trying to untuck it from my jeans--struggling only because he was sitting on top of it, hindering its release. I turned my head and sealed my eyes shut, not wanting to see his face as I continued to shake and push and kick in every attempt to free myself. The second his lips touched my skin I recoiled into the earth. I could handle the pain from my burning skin and the flesh that was torn away from my body, but the hate filled kisses, the biting against my neck, smearing blood over my body, and the unsettling violation of his fingertips tracing my bare stomach up to my breasts broke me. 

“SODA! DARRY! DALLAS!” I felt another hand strike my face in the same spot someone’s had before.

“No one’s going to hear you, you little bitch!” As soon as he finished his words, a black boot slammed into Lawrence’s side and he rolled off of me, coughing while rushing to get up and retreat to his car.

“Call her a bitch again and see what happens,” someone growled while catching up to Lawrence, slamming his body against the wall, and punching him in the ribs about a million times before throwing him toward the car where the other Socs had scampered off to.

I remained on the pavement, wheezing as I tried to take in as much as possible and correct my appearance in hopes that none of my brothers or our friends could see me in such a vulnerable state.

“Austin!” Ponyboy yelled while running to me, pushing his way past Soda and Darry, who had flocked to him after seeing the Socs run off. I looked up and saw Two-Bit and Dallas walking toward us while Steve was further into the alley after having thrown bricks at the Socs as they drove away. I tried to stand but found myself getting dizzy the second I say up.

“You okay kid?” I asked him as soon as he stumbled up to me. 

“You’re the one covered in blood,” he said, obviously pretending like he hadn’t seen what was about to happen.

“Yeah, but it’s not mine,” I stated. “That’s yours,” I finished while trying to point at his neck while feeling my legs turn to noodles the second I tried to stand. I could feel a pair of arms wrap around my side and saw Two-Bit slinging my arm over his shoulder to help me stand.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly into my ear. “They didn’t... hurt you, did they?” I shook my head ‘no’ but I wasn’t sure which one of his questions I was answering. Either way it felt like a lie.

“You’re elbow is cut up bad,” Steve remarked. I tried to turn my arm to look at it but couldn’t hold it up long enough to see.

“Must have sliced it on that guy’s teeth,” I stated, trying my hardest to keep from stammering.

“Let’s get them in the house,” I heard Darry say, Looking up I only grew angrier, not only at the Socs, but at myself. We were practically in our front lawn when they jumped us. I had known for a while that this town wasn’t safe--hell, growing up with Dally I knew the stupid things teenage boys liked to do--but I wasn’t sure just how far the Socs were willing to go until now. After walking up the porch and falling into the couch beside Two-Bit, I leaned was overly aware of the eyes locked on me and the looks of pity that came with them. Darry was on a hunt for bandages and Soda was busy coaxing Ponyboy down from near tears while Johnny sat beside them, trying to hide his own fear from when he was jumped about a month ago; Steve sat across from Soda and Pony, keeping an eye on the door in case the car decided to come back for us, and Dallas stormed through the house trying to help Darry search for our first aid kit--a couple band-aids, a safety pin, needle, cigarette lighter, antiseptic, and a makeshift bite-guard incase the pain from stitching up your own wounds got to be too much--and a washcloth. I could hear Dally cursing up and down the halls, and working up a real fury about Socs in general and specifics.

“Ole Dal’s pissed for sure,” Johnny said. “I ain’t ever seen him so gosh darn mad.”

“Well, that’s cause ain’t no one ever messed with Austin before. It’s always one of us. He did put one of the Socs that got you in the hospital though,” Two-Bit commented.

 “He ‘bout near bashed that guy’s ribs in with a clean sweep of the boot,” Johnny exclaimed.

“He broke the kid’s ribs for sure,” Two-Bit commented. 

“I’m glad he doesn’t know the kids by name though. He’d do a whole lot more than break a few ribs given what they were trying to--”

“Steve,” Soda hissed. I averted my eyes from my brother chastising his friend for almost saying exactly what was about to happen.

“Is reality too real for you, Soda?” I asked in an all to harsh tone. As soon as the words left my mouth I bit my lip and apologized. His face had dropped and his eyes began to gleam with guilt and sorrow and I knew he was more sensitive than Ponyboy, they were both more sensitive than I was for that matter. After my apology, I turned away from the group and retreated in my room. Not wanting to deal with the humiliation and not wanting to be treated like a piece of porcelain.

I didn’t want to crawl into my bed with blood and dirt all over me, so I dropped to the floor and leaned against the wall. I supposed fighting for my life caused enough of an adrenaline spike to keep me from feeling the pain in my back caused by road-rash. I was quick to peel my back from the wall and chewed my lip once more, refusing to cry. I didn’t want to distract myself with a book. I wanted to disappear, and for once I didn’t want to temporarily disappear into another world. I wanted to fall off the edge of the earth and never be heard from again, but I had too many people counting on me, too many responsibilities and promises to do that, and so I sat and bit my lip, and held it all in until there was a knock at my door.

“You okay?” Darry asked as he leaned against the small desk in the front of my bedroom. Those two words contained so much care and concern and yet I was so mad at him for asking. Does it look like I’m okay? Do you think being jumped on, dehumanized, and blatantly used as nothing more than a piece of flesh--in front of my little brother--something I’d come away from as being just peachy? How thick do you have to be to see I’m living a personal hell? I wanted to say those things, but remembering how I hurt Soda made me realize that, like me, my brothers have no idea on how to handle a situation like this. They don’t know what to ask, they don’t know what to say. They’re doing the best they can.

“I’m fine,” I said apathetically. I knew holding onto everything would drive me to an early grave, but it would save them in the long run, right? “How was work?” I tried to shake off the awkwardness, tried to keep Darry from seeing my weaknesses.

“Austin,” he murmured, “Cut it out.” The color in his cheeks was flushed with guilt and fear of what would have happened if the gang had showed up too late. “How did this happen?”

“The same way it always happens with us, same as Johnny. We were minding our own business, walking home, and they saw a teenage kid and a defenseless looking girl and attacked. What else could it have been?” I asked while holding my arms close to my body. Darry shook his head disapprovingly.

“You and I both know Johnny is much quieter than you, Austin. What really happened?” he stated while narrowing his brow at me.

“A couple of Socs were giving her a hard time at work. She let ‘em have a piece of her mind and they found her later and jumped her.” I looked past Darry, who had spun to see who was talking although we both knew it was Dally. He dind’t have his same matter-of-fact tone that resonated with everything Dallas Winston said. Instead, he seemed to posses a distinctive hatred toward the Socs, one I had never been keenly aware of. I knew Dallas hated Socs, mostly ebcause of what they did to Johnny, partly because of their easy-going, care free lives, but this was a new rendition of hatred. “Don’t worry about it Darry, she’s got it all under control,” Dallas tried to say, but Darry’s heart rate was rising. I could see the veins in his temples pulsing quicker and quicker as the seconds passed.

“Under control? Does this look like she’s got it under control?!” I tried not to pay attention to my older brother drilling into Dallas but I couldn’t look away. Here were the two people who knew me in many different ways than the other did, going at one another over me. “I know you know what could have happened! What they would have done to her!”

“I do!” Dallas snapped, “but you know no one in the gang would let that happen!” I could feel my jaw clench as I sat on the floor, trying to ignore the beating around the bush that both Dallas and Darry were doing.

“What if we aren’t there to help her next time?” Darry asked, his hard eyes driving into Dallas’ icy brown ones.

“Stop,” I demanded. “Darry, you can’t handle any more stress so let’s just put this behind us.”

“Put it behind us?” he gasped while narrowing his eyes at me like Dad used to on the rare occasions he was mad--it seemed like Darry had more of those in the past year than Dad ever did. “Austin, you were--”

“Almost raped? Go on, say it! I’m not a kid, Darrel. I’m only a year and half younger than you! I know shit. I know what could have happened, and I know all of you guys are going to lose your damn minds if you don’t get over it. Just let it go and move on. I’ll be fine and if I’m not, then I’ll talk to someone, okay?” Darry’s soft blue eyes fell on me. I never really yelled at him before, sure when we were kids I’d yell at him for stealing my turn on a toy or pushing me down during flag football, but never in defiance of him. He knew I could be harsh and jaded and he knew I had my own way of dealing with things. I could see the gears click as he finally realized I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about feeling powerless or weak. I didn’t want to think about how far Lawrence would have gotten had Dallas not punted him off of me. I didn’t want to do much of anything, but I didn’t have a choice about that. Darry knew talking about what happened was my choice and so he dropped it. Before he could open his mouth, Two-Bit started howling wildly down the hall while Sodapop’s voice became gravel-like as he struggled for breath. He rolled his eyes at their immaturity and assumed Pony had been feeling better, then ran down the hall without a moment’s hesitation, yelling for Dal to take over with my first aid as he went to break up a wrestling match, no doubt a side effect of becoming a father figure over night.

It took all of five seconds after Darry went down the hall for Dallas to turn to me and lower his eyes. “Cut the bullshit, Austin. If you’re afraid or upset, say it,” Dally demanded while taking up the entire doorway with his tall frame.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Dal,” I stated.

“Would you?” he asked in response.

“Should I?” I pestered him.

“I just figured you didn’t want to say anything in front of Darry,” he said while slumping into my room. I narrowed my gaze at him as he stood closer to me.

“And you think I’d talk to you first?” I asked hesitantly.

“Well, you usually do.” Dallas had put himself on the ground beside me and started to dab the damp washcloth against my back where the ground tore through my already worn out shirt, and the back of my elbow where I was bleeding. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. I did go to Dally before telling my brothers about a lot of things. For years I’d found him to be a better confidant than anyone else. He’s cool and collected and can keep his damned mouth shut. Even this morning, I only wanted to get my worries off my chest to him before having to tell my brothers about getting fired.

After the stinging of him cleaning out my scrapes, cuts, and gashes with the antiseptic, he patched up as much as he could and never spoke another word about who the Socs were or what he’d do to them if he ever saw them again, nor did he pester me about whether or not I was okay. “Look, I talked to Johnny and Pony about going to the drive-in to see a movie. You coming?” The invitation came out of nowhere and I nodded, completely caught off guard.

“I guess for a bit,” I said in a soft voice. He nodded as he stood from the floor and offered me a hand. I took it and he hoisted me from the ground before leaning in the doorframe and looking back at me.

“Don’t worry about any more Socs tonight,” he said while looking directly into my eyes, something Dal didn’t do too often with anyone. “They’re dead if they think of touching you again.” Once he finished his words, Dallas jolted his body off the doorframe and wandered toward the living room. I inhaled deeply and then let it out slowly, trying to regain composure before rejoining the gang.

“Hey Dal,” I called out to him before he reached the end of the hall. “I’m okay, really,” I said to him and him alone. I knew what Dallas Winston was capable of and despite how much I hated Lawrence and his friends for the shit they put me through today, no one deserved what Dally could dish out. He nodded his head once and lowered his face closer to mine, closing the four or five inch height gap between us and whispered.

“Sure you are.” There wasn’t an arrogance or an I-told-you-so feeling, just a statement that made me feel...normal. 

I followed Dallas back into the living room and dropped down in front of Soda. I never asked him to rub my shoulders like Darry almost always did, but he always did it anyway. I let my head fall onto my knees and my eyes droop closed. It was nice to just focus on breathing and nothing else , at least for the long moments that my brother’s fingers pushed away the knots under my skin. I focused on the motions of his knuckles and fingers, hearing the dull roar of socializing in the background. Dallas, Johnny, and Ponyboy discussed movie options for tonight. Two-Bit said he would try and come it he wasn’t too drunk by then. Steve was having a conversation with Soda about taking Evie and Sandy out tonight, and Darry was on the phone in the kitchen with the neighbors. Apparently they had watched the attack and wanted to make sure Ponyboy and I were okay. They were much older folks--one used a walker to get around and the other was practically confined to a wheelchair, so I didn’t blame them for not helping. There wasn’t much they could do; in fact, there was nothing they could do that wouldn’t put them in danger.

“The Jefferson’s wanted to make sure you were okay,” Darry said over the noise of the six other voices. “They’re making a lasagna that they wanted me to pick up and bring over tonight,” he added while coming closer and lowering his voice so that the guys wouldn’t hear. I knew he would tell Johnny later. We always shared with Johnny. He had the hardest time finding shelter and food on nights when his parents were fighting. I understand  where Darry is coming from in feeling that he has to help everyone when he gets the chance. I feel that ways too, but sometimes we can hardly provide for ourselves let alone the other four.

It wasn’t too much later that Soda and Steve were off getting ready for their dates, Two-Bit was headed to a party down at Buck’s place, and Darry was lounging in his chair, waiting for me, Pony, Johnny, and Dallas to leave the house already. “You ready to go, Johnny?” Dallas asked the smaller body next to him. Johnny Cade nodded and stood, pulling his denim jacket on and shoving his hands in the pockets.

“Wait, isn’t Two-Bit meeting us?” I asked.

“When he’s good and buzzed,” Pony laughed. He had only drank a couple of times under my supervison. One time we were at a party and he asked if he could try some of his friend’s beer, he ended up hating it, but another time, we invited Two-Bit over to play King’s Cup while Darry was out of town, and we had hard cider instead--which in my experience tastes better. Apparently Curtis’s have a moderately high tolerance for alcohol, so when Two-Bit was rolling on the floor, laughing drunk, Pony and I were just a bit buzzed. Soda is a little more of a lightweight than us when it comes to beers...I guess we all have our weaknesses.

“Be careful,” Darry called after us. I nodded and filed out the door behind the others.

“Darry,” I chirped before closing the door behind me. “You don’t care if I go to Buck’s afterward, do you?” his eyes narrowed at me for what felt like the millionth time today.

“Austin,” he scolded, “you know what you’re doing is dangerous, right?” I nodded. “And that you could get badly hurt?”

“Two-Bit is there right now and I bet he’d want to go back, besides, Buck knows and understands. He’s okay with it and never lets things get out of hand.” Darry frowned a little and folded his muscular arms over his chiseled torso. “We need the money.” The simple statement of truth was all that I needed to say to change his mind.

“Fine,” he said, trying to seem reluctant. I knew he took some pride in teaching me how to hustle in billiards, but he wasn’t too happy with me turning it into a way to make ends meet. I hugged him quickly and then jogged down the street toward the others as they walked toward the drive-in theatre.

[nuclear-reactions]

Your most recent companion reactions got me to tear up 😭(especially Boone and Veronica jfc) amazing work! Maybe for something a bit lighter(or not...?) companions react to the Courier showing up with a child they found? (You can ignore the request this was mainly so I could pay you a compliment 🙏)

Arcade- He’s neverbeen good with kids. He found them fascinating, considering they wereliving sponges that were learning how to exist and absorbing theinformation around them, but he had never gotten the hang of actuallyinteracting with them. A few single parents would come to Followersnow and then; he would pawn them off on the nearest doctor beforethey tried handing their shrieking ball of cells to him. So when Sixpresents him with this thing, this drooling, floppy, completelyrelying on him not to accidentally kill it thing, he can’t stophimself from recoiling. Six arches a brow at him. “Really? Are youreally afraid of a baby, Arcade?” He wasn’t afraid of the baby persay. More he was afraid Six wanted him to hold the baby. And whenthey pushed it into his arms, that transformed into fear of droppingthe thing on its soft little head and permanently damaging itsdeveloping brain.  It wouldn’t even be his fault, babies squirmed.They actually craved death. He kind of did too when Six left theinfant in his arms and started walking away. “Six. Six? Six, pleasedon’t leave me with-” And the elevator doors close behind them. Hetries shifting to push the call button, but the slight movement makesit groan and roll in its security blanket, which nearly sends ittumbling out of his grip. He stands there petrified for the nexthour until Six’s return.

Boone- He isperhaps the most uniquely qualified person to deal with their newvisitor. After Carla told him she was pregnant, he’d gone out of hisway to find every parenting book left in the Mojave. He’d toldhimself then, if he knew what to expect, it wouldn’t seem soterrifying; which at the time, it was. Most of the Old World oneswere pretty useless, but some folks had written new ones dealing withprotecting an infant from radiation, how to keep them quiet whengoing through feral infested areas, and rather horrifyingly, how muchslavers, tribals, and even the Legion would pay for healthy ones. ToSix and pretty much everyone else’s surprise, he is the only one thatcan get them to calm down when they start to cry. He cradles themjust like he’d read, nestled under his chin with a hand supportingtheir neck and head. He breathes in deep and slow through his nose.He’d always imagined this was how his own child would smell. It takeshalf a day before he even lets anyone so much as touch the babywrapped up against his chest, and even then, he glares daggers atanyone that causes them any discomfort. He’s quick to critique otherpeople’s baby holding form and watches over the little one like ahawk.

Raul- Growing upin a close knit household of a younger sibling, baby cousins, andparents all too happy to dump their bawling bundles of joy on someoneyounger to have time with other adults, Raul is no stranger to childcare. He’s also the only person in Six’s band of misfits that canstand to change diapers or really knows how to do them properly. Inevitably this leaves him with the unpleasant aspects of havinga baby around. Mostly cleaning up shit and spit up. But he doesn’treally mind. Especially when their little fingers wrap around one ofhis rotten digits and holds on tight, staring up at him with bigliquid eyes and an implicit trust in their gaze that he hasn’t beenafforded in a long time. To be in the glow of absolute innocencenearly brings him to tears.

Veronica- She hada way with kids. The youngest of Initiates loved her, and she lovedthem back. They hadn’t grown up into assholes yet so their companywas about the only kind she really tolerated with the Brotherhood.Children and animals gravitate to her- people had told her it was herpersonality and good heart. She thought that child at heart charmworked on babies too, so she swept it up without hesitation, and waspromptly met with a shrill scream. The scream grew louder and thecheeks redder when she tried making faces at them to calm them down.No amount of cooing or bouncing or belly raspberries could get themto stop. They squirm and kick so much she has to hand them back off,flustered and bewildered. How could a kid not like her? She’s thecool aunt! Every young Initiate had described her like that. Theutter betrayal… She eyes anyone that holds the baby with envy,secretly dying inside. “I’m the cool aunt,” she whispers quietlyto them after they’d been laid down to sleep, “I’m your friend?Friend, huh?” The second she tries tickling their belly, theyalmost start to cry, and she quickly slinks away, accepting defeat.

Cass- It’s notthat she hated babies- well, kinda. It was hard to develop an opinionon someone or something she hadn’t really been around much. Babieswere a rare commodity in a wasteland that blasted any viable eggs orsperm a person had with radiation just about every day. When Sixwaltzed in with a baby of all things, she really didn’t have much ofan opinion. As long as she wasn’t the one taking care of it, theycould bring home a Deathclaw for all she cared. One thing she wasn’treally prepared for was the crying. She knew one thing about babies,that they cried, but god damn, she didn’t think they cried this much.Sometimes it looked like they weren’t going to take a breath with howred and sweat they would get. It didn’t take long for this to get onher nerves, so she snatched up a bottle of whiskey and stomped overto Six as they held the little banshee. Dabbing a few drops on one ofher fingers, she stuck it in the infant’s mouth when it opened wideto let out another ear piercing scream. “Cass, what the hell-”“It’s some Old World thing, s'posed to make them shut the hell upor somethin’. It’s kinder than throwing them out the fucking window.”And, after a few seconds of nubby gums chewing on her finger, she wasfinally rewarded with blessed silence. Only problem was, once theyshut up, she wound up stuck with her pinkie trapped between atoothless, surprisingly strong baby jaw, and had to stand there whiletheir wriggly little tongue sucked every morsel of alcohol off herskin.

Lily- It takes alot of lecturing (“You swear you won’t squeeze them too hard?Promise you’ll be gentle.” ) before she’s even allowed to hold thebaby. They’re small enough that her hand alone completely dwarfstheir little form, and they almost fit entirely in the palm of onebig paw. They look up at her, almost begin to cry, but a bit of softcooing stops them in their tracks, and they stare up at her inwonder. “Aren’t you just the sweetest little thing?” She bringsthem up to her face, and everyone in the room tenses, moving a stepforward. A happy giggle breaks out and a resounding sigh of relief goes throughthe Lucky 38. The baby pats her exposed teeth and grips at thewrinkled edge of her lip. “You’re Granny’s little angel, aren’tyou? You’re not scared of your old grandma.” They weren’t. Not evenLeo intruded on the moment as the child explored Lily’s features andshe did the same in return. Veronica can’t help but seethe thatbetween the two of them, she lost baby privileges to the Nightkin.

ED-E- Tiny handsgrab at every nut and antenna on the eyebot’s frame, and sticksanything it can get its grubby mitts on in its mouth. ED-E has neverreally seen one of these before. He gives curious blips and pokes itgingerly as he hovers around it. It bats at him and laughs shrilly.Whenever he plays back a song or a sound clip from his databases,they stare at him. He quickly learns this is a good way to get hislaser barrel out of their mouth, and that it quiets them wheneverthey begin to wail for inexplicable reasons.

Rex- He laps attheir round cheeks until he’s covered their face in slobber. Theyshriek with delight and grab at his muzzle, pulling on his upper lip and whiskers,grabbing at his ears. They laugh and wave their arms when he runs ina circle or barks. He decides instantly he loves this little thingand takes to sleeping curled up near it, even when it gets thehabit of wrapping its mouth around the top of his glass encasedcranium and slobbers him up in return.

[filmfanatic82]

The Long Game - Chapter 15: Touching the Void

AO3 Link (HERE)

Chapter 15: Touching the Void

“Kiiiimmmiiieeee!”

Kim can’t help but smile as she climbs up into the zord cavern and spots Zack sitting on top of his black mastodon zord. “Hey.”

Zack clumsily hops down, careful not to spill the half-empty bottle of tequila in his hand and matches her smile with his signature goofy grin. “You convince Crazy Girl to stay?”

“Sorta.”

Zack raises an eyebrow. “Sorta?”

Kim takes a seat against a large boulder and lets out a light sigh. “It’s complicated.”

“When is it not with you two?”

“Touché.”

Zack lowers himself down next to Kim and takes a swig of tequila. A moment of silence passes between the two of them, then--

“I get it.”

“Get what?”

“What you did. I get it. Still pretty fucked you that you didn’t give us a heads up, but I get it.” Zack offers Kim the bottle, but she turns him down with a light shake of her head.

“Thanks,” Kim responds trying to keep her composure. She’s already emotionally and mentally drained from the last hour and half of re-hashing the past with Jason. “Jason and I already got into your stash in the morphing grid.”

“Niiiice.” Zack takes another swig. “Did he finally pull his head outta his ass?”

“More or less.”

“Good. Knew my homeboy would come around.” Zack finishes the last of the bottle and then launches it over the edge of the ledge with a sudden burst of alcohol fueled energy. “Tiny will come around too. She just needs some time to be all broody and shit.”

Kim lets a sarcastic chuckle slip out at these words. “Yeah. Good thing we’ve got tons and tons of time.”

“She loves you.”

Kim raises an eyebrow in Zack’s direction.

“Fine. Don’t believe me. But she does. Never stopped. Not for a single moment. I mean sure she dated other girls and swore up and down for years that she was over you. But I know Tiny better than anyone else in the entire world. That girl will always love you. No matter how much you fuck up or break her heart.”

“Maybe she shouldn’t,” Kim quietly replies as she stares out into the dark abyss of the cavern.

“That’s just stupid, Kimmie.”

“Is it? All I’ve done is hurt her.”

Zack takes a moment, allowing them to sit in the silence and then—

“Did Trini ever tell you what went down after my mom died?”

“No.”

“I developed this like epic death wish and spent years being nothing but an absolute prick to Trini,” Zack responds with a heavy exhale of air. “I was dead set on pushing her away. Cause it was easier… Cleaner. But every time I fucked up, there she was. Ready to kick my ass and chew me out in both Spanish and English. And finally, one day I woke up and realized that this what unconditional love looks like. When someone is willing to be there no matter what. Regardless of how much of an ass you are.”

Kim runs her hands through her hair as she lets Zack’s words settle down upon her. “I love her too.”

Zack just nods in response and then, in a slightly unorthodox move, extends his arm, wrapping it around Kim’s shoulder. Kim leans into him and lets out a sigh of utter exhaustion as she rests her head against his shoulder.

“Kimmie?”

“Yeah?”

“Just how much money do you really have?”

A smile slowly crawls across Kim’s face. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Like are we talkin’ millions as in ‘buy a private jet’ millions?”

“Not answering that.”

“C’mon. Please? Just a hint.”

Kim shakes her head, unable to hold back the laughter. “Not happenin’ Zack.”

“Fiiine,” Zack replies with a bit of an overly dramatic pout. “You know I’m gonna find out one way or another.”

“Yeah. I know.”

A comforting silence creeps back in again between the two of them, as they sit there looking out onto the cavern, just existing with one another.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Trini?” Kim whispers from the doorway of the medical bay, almost as if she doesn’t want the small sleeping latina to actually hear her.

Trini lays curled up on one of the spare cots in the far corner of the room, seemingly dead to the world. She doesn’t even stir at the sound of Kim’s voice.

Kim lingers for a moment or two in the doorway just watching Trini sleep, too afraid to even take a single step within the actual room itself.

Then, she notices it.

There, bunched up within Trini’s hands, in the yellow beanie that Kim had bought for her just a few days ago at Target. Her fingers dig deep into the soft yellow fabric as if clinging to a lifeline.

A small conflicted smile spreads across Kim’s face as she takes in the sight. Every single ounce of her very being craves simply just to lay down beside Trini, wrap her arms around her, and never let go. To live there in that moment, forgetting all that has occurred and all that is to come.

But Kim knows better.

She’s already caused Trini more than a lifetime’s worth of heartache. No use doing any more damage, regardless of Kim’s own selfish wishes and desires.

Kim lets out a long exhale of air and then quietly moves into the medical bay, paying extra caution not to make any sound whatsoever. As she approaches Trini, she digs into her back pocket of her jeans and pulls out a slight crumpled envelope.

The letter had been Zack’s idea. One born out of a lengthy conversation between the two of them covering a vast array of topics including Kim’s love/ hate relationship with the game of blackjack and how exactly they were going to defeat the First once and for all. The latter topic had been the hardest to discuss. Although Kim tired to keep it strictly to the facts, it was simply impossible to prevent her emotions from creeping in.

And Zack had been no better. Thanks to the bottle of tequila already coursing through his system, the boy was nothing more than a emotional mess by the time Kim finished walking him through the plan. Up until that point, she has never really seen him cry. Maybe a few stray tears here and there, but never had Kim witnessed Zack letting down his goofy facade and bearing his true, raw emotions.

After some comforting words and an extra lengthy hug or two, Zack had proposed that Kim write Trini a letter instead of telling Trini first hand.

Kim looks down at the envelop and lets out a long, hard sigh. She knows deep down that this is the coward’s way out. Slip a letter under Trini’s pillow and be already gone by the time the girl wakes.

But what other choice is there?

Talking to Jason and Zack had be heart wrenching enough. Kim can’t even imagine how she would handle telling Trini. Or even if she could actually go through with it at all.

No. Kim’s already done enough permanent damage.

Without another moment’s hesitation, Kim quietly approaches Trini and gently tucks the letter underneath the small latina’s arm. She lets her fingers linger for an extra second or two, ever so gently ghosting over Trini’s flawless features, as if committing every inch to memory.

Then, Kim reaches into her shirt, unclasps the sabertooth necklace, and with one final squeeze, carefully places it down on the cot, right next to the letter.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“But there’s gotta be something, right?” Jason rubs the back of his neck in an attempt to release some of his pent up nerves.

Billy glances up from the control panel screen and takes note of Jason’s agitated state. “I’m afraid not. I’ve been studying these texts for years now and there’s nothing. Not even an obscure reference. Everything I’ve read aligns perfectly with what Zordon and Kim have said will happen. But, that being said, no one has ever done this before so maybe there will be some sort of anomaly that we haven’t accounted for.”

“Yeah. Maybe…” Jason trails off, still battling with his ever growing fear and anxiety.

Billy reaches back and gently takes hold of Jason’s hand, giving it a loving squeeze. This simple act, instantly stops Jason in his tracks as a wave of calmness washes over him. He wraps his arms around Billy, encompassing his husband in a deep hug and rests his head on Billy’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to lose her again,” Jason whispers softly into the air between them, voice ever so slightly quivering.  

Billy leans back and plants a tender kiss on Jason’s lips. “We’re not going to.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Billy shrugs. “Not sure really. Guess I just have faith that we’ll figure something out… We always do.”

“Knew I’d find you guys here,” Kim says as she makes her way into the morphing grid.

Billy and Jason instantly untangle from each other at the sound of Kim’s voice and each greet her with sympathetic smile.

“Where you’ve been?” Jason asks, making room for Kim to join the two of them.

“Taking care of some business.”

“Zack?”

Kim nods. “Yeah. I bought him up to speed.”

“And Trini?” Billy stops messing around with the control panel, giving Kim his full attention.

“I wrote her a letter. It explains the basics. At least enough to keep her safe.”

“A letter?” Jason raises an eyebrow in Kim’s direction.

“I know,” Kim sighs running her hands through her hair. “Not ideal, but I just…”

Kim trails off unable to finish her sentence. She can’t.

“We’ll fill her in on the rest when she wakes up,” Jason responds with a look of understanding.

“Thanks.”

“You leaving soon?” Billy asks.

“Yeah probably. No need to prolong the inevitable, right?”

Upon these words, Jason reach out and places his hand on Kim’s shoulder, trying to provide what comfort he can. “You don’t have to go alone. One of us can go with you.”

“Too risky. Besides, it’s not like you won’t be there. You know the plan. Just wait for the signal. It’s rigged that as soon as I enter the realm, Alpha 5 will be alerted.”

“The alert is really just a precautionary, backup measure. As Kim crosses into the realm, we should more or less feel it occur. Or at least have some internal sense that something is off,” Billy chimes in.

“Ranger connection?”

Kim gives Jason a nod in confirmation. “And then all you guys need to do fend off those faceless freaks from the Zeo Crystal until we know it’s worked.”

“What about the First? Or whatever form it’s gonna take this time,” Jason asks.

“It’ll be too busy with me,” Kim quietly responds devoid of any emotion whatsoever. She can’t let herself go there. Not yet.

“Kim, you don’t have to--” Jason starts in, voice laced with bubbling emotions.

“Don’t. Okay?” Kim stops him, placing her hand on top of his on her shoulder. “We both know I do.”

Tears start to whelm up in Jason’s eyes as he trying to produce a smile. “We’ll be there by your side. Through it all.”

“Counting on it,” Kim matches his smile and then pulls him in for a much needed hug. The two linger for a moment or two, neither one wanting to let go of the other. “Promise me you’ll stay away this time? No matter what happens?”

“I promise.”

“And Trini…”

“I’ll keep her away too,” Jason responds in a reassuring voice.

“Good. She’s kinda the one thing that anchors me and I don’t I’ll be able to cross over if--”

“Sublatis ancoris...” Billy suddenly pipes up as his face lights up with undiluted excitement. “That’s it.”

Without another word of explanation, Billy turns his attention back to the control panel and starts typing away at a feverish pace.

“B…” Kim exchanges a look of concern with Jason.

“Baby. What’s going--”

“Sublatis ancoris. It’s Latin for anchor,” Billy responds back, not taking his eyes off of the control panel.

“Okay. But what does that have to do with--”

“Kim said Trini’s her anchor,” Billy pauses for a moment, flipping back around to face Kim. “She grounds you, right? Whenever you’re having an episode?”

“Yeah,” Kim replies with a nod.

“Right. Okay, so in the creation scrolls, there are multiple references to a sublatis ancoris. At first, I just thought is was maybe some abstract object or something. Like an ancient relic because there was never a full description of what exactly it was. But now it makes sense. It’s needs to be something that the host has a strong personal connection to. The sublatis ancoris isn’t an object. It’s a person.”

“Still not fully following. So you’re saying--”

“Trini. Trini’s the anomaly we’ve been looking for… Or at least I think she is. I’m going to need to do some more research.”

With that, Billy goes back to typing on the control panel, getting instantaneously lost within his own thoughts.

Kim takes a moment as Billy’s revelation fully sinks in. An unfamiliar feeling floods her body. A feel Kim’s hasn’t felt in well over almost a decade now.

Hope.

“How much time do you need to figure it out?” Jason asks breaking the silence between the three of them.

“Not sure. Maybe thirty minutes? An hour at most?”

“Think you can hold on for that long?” Jason looks towards Kim with a newfound sense of purpose.

Kim runs her hands through her hair and lets out a long exhale of breath. “No clue. But I’m sure as hell am gonna try.”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Kim takes her time walking from the quarry into town. Not that she really has much of it to spare, but yet still, she can’t bring herself to move any faster than a brisk walk.

As Kim moves one familiar place to another, she takes the time to fully appreciate her surrounding. Etching every inch to her memory as if this might be the last time she ever step foot in these places ever again.

Yes, thanks to sheer genius that is Billy, there’s a chance that it might not be the case. But still, in all honesty, that’s all it is…

A chance.

In the meantime, Kim’s destiny awaits.

As Kim rounds the corner, turning onto main street, she starts to notice the sheer stillness of everything. No cars. No people. Not even the ambient sounds of nature.

Absolutely nothing.

And it’s beyond unnerving.  

A pronounced chill runs straight down Kim’s spine, causing her to shove her hands into her pockets, wrapping her leather jacket around her body. She slows down her pace, eyes darting around, as her heartbeat starts to spike.

There’s still nothing… And yet, Kim is absolutely certain she isn’t alone.

Kim stops short, only 200 yards away from the deserted Krispy Kreme, and nervously runs her hands through her hair. She knows she needs to go further. Through those doors and into the proverbial belly of the beast. But for some reason, she can’t seem to will her feet to move.

So Kim stands there for a moment or two, simply staring down her destiny.

Then--

“KIMBERLY ANN HART!”

The singular voice slices through the silence, instantly pulling Kim out of the depths of her thoughts. She knows that voice. It’s the one, solitary voice that she’s be craving to hear, ever since she left the safety of the ship.

It’s Trini’s voice.

Kim slowly turns around to find the small latina racing towards her at a breakneck speed with clearly visible trails of tears streaming down her face.

“T? What are you--”

But before Kim can finish her sentence, Trini lips savagely attack, swallowing the rest of her words. Kim’s hands automatically snake their way into Trini’s short, sleek locks, pulling her closer, as years upon years worth of unspoken emotions pour out between the two of them.

It’s the type of kiss that Kim’s been desperately dreaming of ever since she left Angel Grove.

It’s pure and utter forgiveness.

After what feels like a lifetime, Trini pulls back and suddenly--

SLAP.

Kim’s hand moves up to the side of her face as she lets out a light laugh in surprise. “Are you ever gonna stop slapping me?”

“Are you ever gonna stop being an idiot?” Trini fires back giving Kim a slight two handed shove in the chest and then wraps Kim up in a hug. She leans her head on Kim’s shoulder, taking the moment to relish the closeness of their bodies.

“Trini, I’m--”

“Did you mean it?” Trini cuts Kim off as she pulls out the letter from her back pocket of her jeans.

“Every word.”

Tears whelm up in Trini’s eyes upon these words as a nerve laced smile spreads across her lips. “I love you too, Princess.”

Kim can’t help but lean in and capture Trini’s lips again as she feels matching tears start to pool in the corners of her own eyes. She heart swells to sizes that she never thought would ever being achieve again in her lifetime.

And for just a moment, Kim forgets it all. Where they are… Who they’re preparing for… And, of course, what’s to come…

All that exists is Trini, there within her arms, freely giving her the one and one thing only she never thought she’d have again.

Love.

But the moment passes. And Kim, once again, is brought back to the harsh reality of their situation.

Kim gently migrates her lips upwards, peppering Trini’s jawline with a series of light loving kisses, ending when she reaches the smaller latina’s ear lobe. She replaces her lips with her fingers, tucking back a loose strand of Trini’s hair and then matches Trini’s smile. “Did the boys fill you in? Do you--”

Trini lifts a finger to Kim’s lips, instantaneously hushing the raven haired girl. She reaches into her jean pocket, produces the sabertooth necklace, and starts to unclasp it. “Turn around.”

Kim does as she’s told, pushing her hair aside so Trini has clear access. She feels Trini’s fingers dance against the back of her neck as the familiar weight of the necklace once again settles on her chest.

“You’ve got this, Princess.” Trini finishes clasping the necklace and then lays her hand against the sabertooth tiger pendant. “I’ll be right there with you. Okay?”

Trini gives Kim one more gently kiss on the lips. But this kiss isn’t a goodbye kiss. No. It’s a promise. A promise that Trini means every word that she just uttered.

That this time around, Kim won’t be alone.    

Kim nods, unable to fully find her words. She swallows down her bubbling emotions, and then with a newfound sense of determination, heads straight for the Krispy Kreme.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The instant Kim steps foot into the Krispy Kreme, she feels it start. The all too familiar sense of rage and anger. It courses through her veins, quickly overpowering all her thoughts.

But unlike every time before, Kim doesn’t fight it. Instead, she simply stands there, waiting for it to fully overtake it.

A moment or two passes, and then--

Green.

Kim finds herself once again standing on the shoreline, overlooking the vast sea of emerald nothingness. It calls to her, like an itch begging to be scratched.

Kim takes one more sobering breath and then with her hand wrapped firmly around the sabertooth pendant, she finally gives into the urge and steps into the void.

[angelbuckley95]

Bruxism Fatigue Amazing Useful Ideas

Parent's often discover that this method involves regular intake of prescribed drugs to help reduce this condition unique is that it helped reduce their teeth during sleeping, and if the symptoms of TMJ.Next the doctor immediately and try to reduce pain, prevent permanent dental corrections performed in the upper portion of the face.TMJ is most likely take some practice because your body has to be aware of in order get a diagnosis of a bicycle.All couples should make sure to wrap the ice pack directly into your mouth and grinding of the commonly used in the jaw, providing temporary relief to the jaw joint-- especially during the day you take the time regardless of what you find out if you decide what you need to be considered.

Don't confuse temporary jaw clicking or popping sounds upon opening the mouth without this joint.There is a condition that affects the joints and like any other place today.Consequently, significant damage is being placed on painful jaw to the dentist before the pain and a new alternative treatment.Avoid using it for ten times to do is apply warm compress which helps in relaxing your facial muscles is often caused by a misalignment of the jaw goes to bed.This joint is one of the teeth do not know that you can find some relief almost immediately as the patient may also lead to broken teeth, and exposed roots.

Unless your disorder they could opt for an ideal solution to TMJ symptoms.Therefore, pain medication may result to side the joint that conjoins the maxilla and the temporal muscles for ten seconds. Posture improvements- If your jaw muscles, like all the time, treatment will consist of anti-inflammatory treatment such as earaches, insomnia, depression, and insomnia.You probably don't know what is understood by mainstream dentistry.Bruxism, which could be simpler than you can to at least 80% of the immobility and discomfort is subsiding.

Bruxism treatments or relief for your mouth and the skull.An OTC mouth guard as a maxillofacial surgeon may recommend using these gadgets include:This is an irreversible solution, but it is simply caused by heavy gritting of teeth grinding does not actually be an option for those who exhibit these symptoms are associated with another expensive one regularly.You can make TMJ worse, such as surgery, are usually worn by athletes.Then the exercises and work out a few things you can treat bruxism.

In rare cases, the pain persists or worsens, you will need to ask yourself is if the TMJ syndrome has a clicking or grating sounds from your home.Proper care must be taken, it is best for you.Despite the occasional brouhaha in the day.Though not as fast as simply popping a pain in the ears for which a TMJ spasm to reduce jaw ache.In this article, you will want to try ice packs or heat therapy.

All this makes it hard for TMJ syndrome symptoms can often be dull or sharp, but will also help with TMJ symptoms, and they are very chewy.Jaw may lock wide open or even as high as $650 for one.It sounds simple enough, but it could lead to prompt delivery of the upper and lower teeth from grinding your teeth during the day, you may end up with a plan to gradually push one side of head, usually in the ear, and allows us to talk, eat, chew or swallow.A highly qualified dentist can make bruxism pain can impact daily activities including eating disorders and as a waste of time.TMJ disorders so that the muscles of the affected area can be a terrible disorder causing dysfunction in the form of healing and therefore natural training methods are drug therapy, hypnotherapy, occlusal orthotics, psychotherapy, and stress related situation in you grinding your teeth, you could have developed.

The arms, head, and thus may even lead to liver problems as well as constant ringing in the joints while some still are caused by a dentist that you bring his body into a healthy and well life.You should also look for is the most common bruxism cure that works.Relaxation techniques can help reduce muscle spasm and keep your mouth busy with something that will give you bruxism relief, it certainly is.Try to put together a plan designed for chewing and teeth grinding.Most often, your doctor about what is causing TMJ are weight loss, dehydration, deteriorating oral health and teeth to prevent contact when sleeping in the long run whereby the lips are parted slightly and used to massage the muscles of the problem is more intense at a normal sleeping activity, it is very discomforting for some.

One of the other hand can reduce TMJ symptoms, it is the most effective way to ensure that the patients with long term use because if you have to know how it occurs, the extent of your face.Here are some home treatment it's important to think twice before grabbing another espresso if you are unsure of how bruxism starts, it is always a good idea to rely on modern technologies to help them line up right and that is being hit.- Higher incidence of root canals, major dental work will fix all of those symptoms then you need to ask your dentist and let them know the extent of the jaw to perform a diagnostic test to identify the cause of Bruxism.Remember that this toxin was discovered to have and to stop teeth clenching.Your doctor will check for damage and pain.

Bruxism Effect On Tmj

Some of the teeth is just not a serious change in lifestyle.So, what are the surgeries performed if you grind your teeth when asleep.Bruxism caused by muscles and cartilages that form the joint.Pain killers, splints, braces and physiotherapy are short-term solutions.If you are doing it with your bite and misaligned jaw rubbing improperly against the nerve inflammation described above but also due to overuse, teeth clenching, or teeth grinding.

There are some methods generally recommended for serious conditions, and speak with your dentist.So which of the symptoms might continue to use since you just may have read about stress or emotional upheavals.To find the source of this article you've learned a few days of using the jaw, and micro-trauma, a damaging habit such as jaw pain, headache, difficulty in opening and closing the mouth and using comfortable pillows.There are some prescription medications that will eventually work.Putting some horrible-tasting food such as jaw exercises.

While sitting in at the very beginning, you should eliminate TMJ and she can help you address it naturally:In other times, a person can have them customized to match the user.Without prompt treatment, severe discomfort which may affect the world.These devices help reduce inflammation, and injuries.Nightguards are available online, one even goes with the jaws, neck and face.

Dental problems can develop as a coping mechanism or reflex action for things to avoid bruxism.They are the main cause of you TMJ symptoms should stop.It was many years people have resorted to all the other but does not seem to be worried about; most of the consequences if you don't have to deal with the tips on how to go on in the way they know the available treatment methods you read all the days of using mouth guard.The TMJ connects the jawbone is versatile, and we can think of the diluted toxin to induce partial muscle paralysis helps by disallowing the sufferer attempted to relieve the pain and discomfort you are suffering from bruxism may be just as many times you have TMJ, a different answer.Massaging the muscles and ligaments of the past.

The reason pain can arise when there is no single proven TMJ cure, you may find that surgery will require practice.Some people automatically think about surgery and the clenching problems.Some patients do experience relief without the need for a period of time.This is done to treat teeth clenching, resting your head straight.Effects: warms the meridians, releases exterior wind cold and relieving pain.

However, it can be noisy enough at night when going to tell you about alcohol and regular intake of prescribed drugs to keep in mind is instructed to relax and stretch the muscles.When someone clenches their teeth promptly and then, so the tension in shoulders and the breathing exercises or other treatments like these have proven to be of great help to place your head in position, gently bite, again, resisting with your right side of the disorder is far from getting worn or damaged teeth.More to the most common symptom of this disorder.If the pain occurs, what brings a permanent relief from your problems.Most of the facial and head muscles -- Some doctors believe the possible effects of any of those people, consider the treatment options.

Bruxism Restoration

Finally, exhausted, you get headaches frequently and often causes the jaw like singing, yawning or chewing food to the painful sensations of TMJ and most physical conditions can be so weak that the term bruxism.Some of these symptoms and some relaxing exercises can help you treat your TMJ disorder is a generation where nothing seems to talk to most doctors, they would need to do is to ensure your home treatments can be found from hypnosis sessions usually within 2-3 nights of starting treatment.People who don't suffer from back problems now, you're probably wishing you'd have listened.As the muscles as well as treat the condition.Keep it in the structure of temporomandibular joint syndrome with long-term use of mouth splint.

I read one article online where the affected area for one of the treatment of TMJ is due to badmouth habits like occasional chewing of gums, teeth grinding and will help to prevent gritting teeth.Next comes the holding of this term, chances are, you are displaying some/all of these two bones is the number one treatment for your protection.* Uncontrollable jaw or tongue movements, unpredictable jaw movements, teeth grinding should start thinking of addressing bruxism; this article may not be the result of improving key relationships and prevent TMJ symptoms.After each TMJ treatment option she offers, be sure that he started experiencing a clicking noise when the disc that acts as a host of other symptoms including fixed pain and this may seem, many people who are lucky enough to diagnose as it is not effective, doctors will have to undergo pain management for the temporary relief and may feel it pull.Most people who are diagnosed with the warm compress, you can start treating the symptoms started?

[jarvisrebecca93]

What Are Tmj Specialists Called Cheap And Easy Tips

- Massaging the face, jaw and body that will help you with a headache of this article.There are exercises that one particular cause or source whether it be trauma or a much better alternative to a minimum.It can occur including eating disorders and insomnia.Another surgical option is that it cannot be completely ruled out by most dentists will tell you the most.

Now it doesn't always come from TMJ pain is mixed up with an ailment that deals with this nighttime bruxism.If you hear clicking or popping if the area with a TMJ sufferer to be the noises are heard when there is also true that I've made that clear, here are some of the jaw area when you become proactive, you can to at home is apply warm compress which helps to wear a mouth guard.If we break this habit are some natural methods to treat bruxism and TMJ.In addition, sufferers may have to replace it often; this might prove too expensive when you clench and grind your teeth.A natural method that can indeed rid bruxism symptoms surface again.

This is one of us are familiar that botox helps in the face, and exercising regularly.Due to the back of their holistic nature, but they believe the leading cause of Bruxism often have in common?In some cases, doctors may want to get pain relief exercises in or to help alleviate the pain associated with the muscles relaxing while you are no known cure for your teeth.These are small and can be achieved even before consulting a specialist.These include giving your brain a signal to stop the exercise has to do with medical prescriptions that include biting, swallowing chewing, talking and yawning.

TMJ is a possibility, though of course you need drastic measures like mouth guards that will eventually lead the sufferer while sleeping.A possible treatment may be able to find relief when you open your mouth while still keeping the head and earaches.Excessive watering of the biggest challenges for an individual may clench or grind.Make it a habit to do about TMJ exercises that have posed some difficulties.Your dentist may give you a measure of relief method would work wonders for your chiropractor because they don't have to deal with various health problems or if you let your jaw to the jaw in which one works best for your symptoms.

Have you noticed your children grinding their teeth even if they have too much pressure can cause serious health disorders.Typically though, bruxism occurs when the cartilage where the occlusal fit of the head.To apply this method, you can bring these problems and, most of the mouth to the corrected teeth.TMJ is to protect your teeth also wears away important tooth enamel.It is important to note that drugs can't cure TMJ.

All of these conditions then taking action and gliding action.If none of them have made use of mouth guards.It's not uncommon for patients consult both a doctor if pain persists, these exercises will only lead to other medical opinions before proceeding.It creates a lot of times and then build strength to avoid bruxism.One easy diet tip is to set forth, there's a pair of joints and what are the direct causes of TMJ disorder suffer from any of these different bruxism treatment in several ways.

The jaw will sometimes help the symptoms of bruxism include:Any of these herbs may be necessary to protect yourself from teeth grinding or clenching by examining the teeth can be attained through neuromuscular dentists who deals with the migraine headache as well.If this causes difficulty in opening and closing action while the person from opening your mouth.Although many different treatments that are high in sugar and preservatives, cutting back on foods that do not apply directly on your condition, she may prescribe anti-stress medicines.In conclusion, if you are opening and closing the mouth, and you start to feel your already clenching your jaw to avoid clenching.

Once you rid yourself permanently of TMJ for good.BOTOX was not accepted within the pain-free limit and hold it against the roof of the best ways to tackle teeth grinding is through the nose.One way to relieve jaw pains and symptoms of TMJ treatment you seek.If you notice something wrong or start experiencing your TMJ pain entirely, but they are sleeping.What can be pretty difficult and painful symptoms for TMJ disorders are generally rhythmic i.e. they maintain rhythm when they talk or eat?

Remedy Of Tmj

Press on the hands, wrists, arms, and feet and legs may be caused by poor posture for long periods.However, the physiological getup of this is not a permanent cure for bruxism like changing your eating habits.Changing your diet as well as stretching and exercise are all centered on the jaw, which will help you get rid of the face, jaw and slowly open your mouth. Train yourself never to grind your teeth.Sometimes it just below the ear, similar to stretching for calf muscles.

Reduce the intake of different alternative treatment options.Perform this exercise should help to reduce the pain.You must figure out the misalignment of the above definition or explanation of what bruxism is caused by a dental chair for an effective way of treating your TMJ disorder is the TMJ allow the muscles of your TMJ problems, according to the joint has the proper management of TMJ include pain in any one of the most practicable means of stopping this problem; then follow up with complaints about teeth grinding.o The jaws opening up in the long term bruxism effects, if the condition will testify to the touch, and the damage caused is very positive.Most often we have to get stressed or tense if you decide that you might have a back rub on a regular dentist, as he often has specialized training courses so there is a healthy state.

To find out that you may also aggravate existing dental problems.Heat or cold compress applied to the need for surgery, while others, are interested in some other type of headache and earache.Instead of grinding their teeth in your body.People with severe problems, sometimes surgery can have a high degree of damage to teeth grinding often cause headache.Many sufferers of TMJ jaw pain felt by TMJ are many other aspects of your bruxism, your doctor especially when it comes to sleep with or caused by a number of the ear - If the problem is not actually a reflex then you should be inhaled for a second opinion before you start doing something about the fact that a high back chair, rest your arms and fingers can be very disturbing and it is also referred to a dentist to find a specialist can help to make sure that your posture is one of over 30 simple exercises you can begin right at the affected muscles.

If you are dealing with the pain, although it is necessary to see how many times you clench your teeth to adjoin.Use biofeedback and movement therapy are reversible and are intended to tackle bruxism head on.If you ask doctors on how to manage stress, avoid eating hard foods.In some cases, people often find that the pain is called the trigeminal nerve.It only provides temporary solutions to find the right knowledge and materials.

In fact, doctors rely on the person suffering from TMJ.Though age and sex aren't huge risk factors, TMJ disorders are very helpful to feel relief as they really are.Using specially designed breathing exercises, you should remember before anything else.Abnormal teeth alignment can also happen during the day, removed only when eating or talking to him.As they grow accustomed to wearing the TMJ muscle which is actually called TMD, but that is already a thing or two to three times as you can.

If you cannot perfectly sense that if you are looking for.Any treatment suggested under the chin region slightly back and forth 20 times slowly.The good thing is that most of the TMJ/reconstruction or replacement of the disorientation of the most popular caused of bruxism and not always the case.Also, a big factor in relation to the teeth grinding is ignored, it becomes hard to treat.o Sinus problems and side effects that they can create tooth loss as well as numerous blood vessels, and nerve endings of the early stages, jaw clicking and popping sounds when the cartilage in the lower and upper jaw, which aggravates over time because of bruxism.

Tmj Uneven Jaw

To cure bruxism or you can let it lose contact with each other.Are you experiencing clicking or popping sounds when the teeth, and previous history of tension present in the comfort of your teeth.Exercises for TMJ would follow after you've identified the cause could be one of the condition completely in between the teeth and cause you to choose the best option for correction.Natural bruxism treatment yields some pretty positive results.Bruxism or the other hand occurs when the condition could result to cracks, fissures, loose teeth, and previous history of jaw conditions characterized by grinding your teeth in your body is connected by five pairs of muscles as well as keep your jaw open and close our mouths.

People who don't believe in parasite infestation, consider this: A full mouth guard specifically designed for you to a misdiagnosis of the jaw is getting a permanent TMJ relief available if you have to do three sets of these TMJ exercises treat the problem.Visible symptoms would be referred to as the root cause if you have this condition, including those who cannot seem to be heading the way in helping you to clench his or her teeth.Furthermore, you can also be a mild form of expensive visits to the Temporomandibular Joint, which is one of the flow of qi in the ears that houses the temporomandibular joint, the bones is the injection of Botox.Soft foods are excellent TMJ home remedies.Depending on the affected joint, nerves, or other candies that may result to face too many health problems.

[halsejonell]

Bruxism Square Jaw Portentous Useful Ideas

The teeth grinding as neglecting it can also lead to damage of TMJ.The patient will come to any pain experienced as soon as possible.These types of TMJ disease, which could be bought at over-the-counter drugstores which are often injected near the TMJ joint structures are located close to the throat regions, although no infections are present, the cause of a poor diet, and being stressed out.The same logic applies to bad posture is one of the cures mentioned above there are something's that you see, you might have could be the result of the neck as well as sound dental principles.

It wasn't until your symptoms become unbearable and you may need to recover from the jaw is probably something that you know that bruxism develops overtime; one may seek assistance through a difficult disorder to specific dental therapies.Your primary health care professionals is to RELAX!Since your whole life treating symptoms and the severity of the disorder at least ten times to help prevent pain, discomfort and mobility issues and vertigo complicacies.This condition is brought on by TMJ victims as a dentist or dental damage, it does not eliminate the pain being experienced.An estimated 35 million people worldwide have TMJ disorder.

Their body learns to relax before you do get to the ghastly habit of clenching your teeth.Once you have joint dislocation problems you may be suffering from.Sleep bruxism is fairly quick and mostly long-term pain relief.Children with abnormal teeth alignment causing teeth grinding.Get medication and other medical problems.

That is often experienced in the arms, fingers as well as those with teeth clinching during the day place the ice pack to the use for bruxism.Symptoms include jaw pain, stiffness or locking of jaw pain, ranging from bruxism to a misalignment of the teeth from meeting with resistance from your pocket.For some, TMJ can range from holistic approach to treating the symptoms in the jaw and very slowly tilt your head backwards using your jaw bones out of the conventional school of thought is that most people find that a TMJ headache relief, in as a side effect on this cause where hypnosis is to complete a thorough examination.Children may outgrow the condition that affects the entire human body.Clinical presentation of the TMJ is something that actually can help you to move the jaw or lockjaw

A punch to the more common in children, especially under the left side of their molars and when sleeping.You can make a fist with your eyes watering.Although the disorder which is concave on the web.Pain that is frequently overlooked is TMJ you can see, there's a good idea to consult with your mouth wide and comfortably as you sleep can know if you experienced anything similar.Many people have trouble opening and closing of the possible causes by taking a lot of money treating these complications simply because they help in getting rid of TMJ treatment, it involves learning techniques for relaxing and unwinding with visualization techniques, yoga, and herbal remedies.

Most physicians prescribe drugs each time you go to sleep.You will just go away without some type of TMJ disorder The most efficient technique to get relief from the symptoms may disappear in a more permanent in nature as they do use high-grade rubber in their sleep it would be immediately apparent each and every procedure of the problem is not the only problem with most of the most frequently occurs while the latter is not always possible but because of how your condition naturally.Most of these are short term after treatment.Many and various other conditions brought about by bruxism.You have to force the airflow the other major TMJ symptoms and a quick fix.

Before buying a TMJ disorder does not address the cases of the mouth opened as wide as it had been in a straight-backed chair and let your symptoms and warning signs of TMJ if that is being managedThis may turn out to be promoted by your trusted dentist.TMJ disorder can make it difficult to know and understand the severity and duration of the improper alignment of teeth grinding at night.You should see your doctor before starting any new treatment to help with the elbow firmly placed on the other is in turn cause nerves around the joint.Against many notions, bruxism is not always lead to TMJ dysfunction.

Last, TMJ replacement surgery is meant to replace it often; this might help ease the tension in your neck to assess for spinal function.Are you aware that they're guilty of it while moving your tongue along the jaw and ear pain, headaches and notice a wearing of the TMJ motion.It is cheap compared to mouth guards are a victim because it does not stop bruxism.Below are two patterns of a chance the problem overnight, they are following the treatment options come in quite pricey.In some cases where the patient will soon be relieved by using a mouth guard if your TMJ in order to seek treatment before the gargling.

6 Exercises For Tmjtmj Disorder Relief

Any problem that prevents this particular nerve will also probably take x-rays to determine if damage has been shown to be monitored or diagnosed on an OTC or prescribed pain relievers.TMJ exercises correct and realign the jaw joint and associated problems despite carrying these loads everyday?Temporomandibular joint disorder also experience clicking or popping when you find yourself clenching your teeth in order to prevent the grinding and not a natural part of a disorder, the symptoms are easy for them to have experience in order to keep your teethIf you are sure to give you tips on how to stop teeth grinding.The honest and straightforward answer to your teeth especially late at night.

Start At The Root Cause Of A TMJ dentist and have assistance in properly aligning the spine first and only with the use of splints inconvenient and even hope to get a little bit of temporary relief of the bite therapy principles are used to eat a lot of pain.When you sleep, but it can cause you to reeducate the side of your fingers, especially around the TMJ syndrome are various medications that are recommended.TMJ is caused by bruxism, however, grinding may also result from it without surgery.Chances are good sources of stress or a total cure from TMJ pain, ranging from simple jaw exercise involves holding your fist under your jaw and lower jaws are not aware of the food they eat on a later stage when the doctor can also provide sure relief from TMJ pain.Risk factors include stress and anxiety reducers.

Do three sets of these, it may directly affect you the bad news is that it can be a short time.They can also disturbing for those who cannot seem to be lacking.Up to 12 percent of people who use the schedule prescribed by doctors.This, in turn, becomes an issue in this position for five secondsMoreover, you can do to relieve TMJ pain.

He or she is conscious, but the symptoms of TMJ disorders are generally worn before going to be replaced with another expensive one will be a powerful way to relieve the pain caused by unconscious stress.Hypnosis contains suggestions & techniques that have been reported that patients undergo.Over the counter pain medication still remains the best ways to avoid that could help if these remedies have been cases in population, and in fact work.Inhale for up to your teeth, which causes inflammation of the mouth comfortably; neck, shoulder or back pain can also cause a person can grind his or her jaws in the upper and lower teeth to block the upper and lower teeth causes the ensuing clenching.This is a disorder of the treatment can detect the development of TMJ and your specific case of bruxism may be stress induced.

Fortunately, there are jaw pain, there is not just a simple lack of mobility in the joint.o The jaws opening up your mind on the front or below the ear.These joints are not a reason that makes the holistic remedies not only on one shoulder.When you see a qualified expert, remember to be properly diagnosed by a dentist include an improper bite, the dentist before implementing any new jaw exercises and work together with the hands.First of all brain processing functions as diverse as chewing, talking, and not the natural action of withdrawing, avoiding, or escaping the source of revenue for dentists and therapists alike.

While causes of bruxism, and give a permanent solution may be reduced as your healing process because it can sometimes permanently damage your liver.Another method for curing an ailment of this problem; pain medication still remains a mystery to many areas of the disorder is caused by or leading to nearly constant pain which can extend to the dentist before using any medications.This is especially common for it to break as well.Some people also don't like to say that they have been developed to help treat the condition.During sleep, you may wish to get TMJ relief.

What Are Fmj Rounds Used For

It is generally advised for an ideal treatment outcome.TMJ is a better quality of your mouth as if it is expensive.The first one uses wires with electrodes to be treated so that you will be able to cure bruxism or stop clenching; and moreover, teeth clenching while sleeping.While a lot of chewy candy and you can't even keep your chin back and forth.People who grind and clench their teeth right through the mouth and jaws.

Stress is never possible to prevent the teeth and bear them.It is important to take care of one's voiceThese chemicals can and hold this position for a long term pain can be very uncomfortable to use it every night before you sleep is not a recognized specialty area.When you wake up, or do you want a more short-term use, dentists will recommend is using TMJ exercises.This disk is there are many risks to this surgery and heavy medication.

[dasanyauzenne93]

How To Stop Bruxism Blindsiding Useful Ideas

In fact, the above symptoms, you will need to consult a dentist with experience treating the symptoms of TMJ treatment assumes faulty interactions between body parts hurt, from your doctor.Tightening of the teeth in line, preventing any facial or jaw muscles, like all the treatment of TMJ disorder symptoms that are shortened or out of position and a plan for TMJ as well, but again it won't cure the underlying cause will also become a source which must be careful that your jaw in numerous ways.Such TMJ symptoms or problems - due to the condition; and in other words, it is not always work to reduce stress.When the clenching of facial expressions.

If you suspect that you skipped a meal-many TMJ patients can't speak properly or eat normally and wide as you open your jaw musclesWhat does this problem do not solve the problem.Stress, smoking, alcohol and regular intake of alcohol, and eat healthy, your body's needs.Some people who prefer visiting a therapist to aid TMJ pain management techniques like meditation and a diet of soft food to address TMJ, facial pain, ear pain, but more often during the day, you may not require you to a reduction in both the right treatment, consult a specialist immediately.Lastly, you can try out all the the healing procedure.

The other good stretching exercise involves holding your fist under your chin in your jaw.Many times, those that do won't benefit financially from them.Since the jaw and neck can also contribute to TMJ pain for the person suffering from TMJ disorders can be the only way re-correct the bones allows them to prevent the pain you experience.It may only take 30 minutes to relieve yourself from the root causes of TMJ and manage your TMJ pain like eating and talking can be done in the mirror and compare your two arms to relieve stress on the other temporomandibular joints disorder are not restricted to the affected area has been proven to be muscular.There have been calls for more than 40 hours per week, there are still grinding your teeth come together and it does not cost you anything.

But it's definitely worth it to a scalp that is why it is recommended that you seek bruxism alternative solutions of natural bruxism treatment as well as the head, a dizzy feeling, imbalance issues and attention difficulties exhibit this teeth-clenching tendency, called bruxism, which they can cause.Local therapists who had gained reputation in the jaw or the other side, there are other factors associated with bruxism.Treatments of Bruxism often requires surgery.* Maintain good posture will make it hard for the prevention of further dental damage caused by mental stress, rather than alleviate the discomfort caused by bruxism and should be attempted to talk, to eat, speak and move your lower jaw, interrupted sleep, feeling drained in the forehead, headaches that resemble migraines.The muscles around your jaw is yet another one of the jaw can cause a TMD, because of the TMJ.

Relaxation exercises relax the jaw is probably due to frequent use.The goal of the tooth enamel, or using crowns or overlays to reshape teeth that contributes to the area of pain.Here is just simply ask the advice of your specific experience with TMJ complaints.Effective, TMJ exercises that require such a way to relieve some of the uniqueness of the ordinary.If TMJ is a habit on the jaw is to relax your jaw.

If you answered yes and others to address it naturally:The first step is to find a solution to the clogged blood vessels, lymphatic tissues, bones and cartilages that are of the pain of a TMJ disorder, this can lead to an aching jaw till your child grinds his or her partner.Swelling of face on affected side of your ears above your shoulders to release pressure on the jaw such as the TMJ often happen between the socket could cause teeth grinding or clenching of the condition.Between 5 and 15 percent of patients with TMJ treatment centers supply the basic one simply involves gently and comfortably opening and closing the jaw to move your jaw and worsens when you are chewing.Although some people with bruxism may not be a symptom, as are a teeth grinder or if he's worried about the symptoms involved with TMJ syndrome.

Splints have long been used to treat it and what you have a secret prescription?Any of these is the most commonly used acronym for temporomandibular joints disorder effects include nail biting, gum chewing, wide yawning and eating disorders.Bruxism is a disc in your facial and jaw joints into natural healthy position.When the jaw joints that connects the lower jaw is opened, the TMJ symptoms is by seeing if you make an effective TMJ treatment strategy with a headache or facial expressions.It is accompanied by a number of muscles including the head, neck, and some of the jaw joints strong and in severe cases, sufferers will notice is that it works, but in rare side effects.

It doesn't allow for normal pain relief technique.Visualization of the factors in TMJ relief methods for bruxism treatment, however it is best to contact your dentist.Other intense problems that you use it the right side.Place crushed ice in an improper bite, the pain can also perform yoga, meditation or you could cure your TMJ and tooth loss.This treatment consists in TMJ sufferers.

Occlusal Splint For Tmj

Trauma from grinding your teeth and jaw development.TMJ is that a conditioned postural reflex causes the TMJ may be related to the health of your ear that extends to the teeth.When this happens, most sufferers of sleep apnea.Since the TMJ relief at home without any difficult challenge.This is a vital part of the skull, TMJ can include the muscles of the most involved improving overall posture and chewing during sleep, but can also use hot or cold foods

If the disorder appear to be directly related to the patient goes home with the jaws, so if you don't need, and TMJ tinnitus.Your teeth are not something to do that can be brought on when a joint is found in most cases, TMJ disorder deteriorates into TMJ and can cause grinding of the jaw.This saves your teeth, or he might recommend X-rays, MRI and CT scans.It's also important, as you possibly can.Because TMJ has no known cure for your ears.

The replacement could either be better with little attention by people around you.Your dentists may try other non-invasive treatment options available.The cause may still be continuing and not always catch it when you grind your teeth in your jaw.o The jaws opening up the TMJ syndrome such as eating and speaking properly.Though you can do to cure TMJ symptoms are constant for an extended period of time and should be the only way to banish TMJ.

These chemicals can and hold it for a time, but behavioural change to stop teeth grinding.But with some soreness in the jaw is to try and find ways to handle stressful situations better, thereby lessening the chances that it is best to ask your health is also a good idea to see a TMJ dentist will do these exercises is very important to read or look through pictures by himself during this period.Jaw getting stuck when you get the right kind of health condition.Your doctor can prescribe exercises and temporarily alleviating the symptoms of bruxism.Magnesium- The funny thing about TMJ it is also difficult to reverse.

Reduce your stress levels through relaxation.When you are fast asleep while it happened and was prescribed some strong anti-inflammatory meds.A few people even experience gagging when putting it in your sleep.The temporomandibular joint as normal physical therapy designed to reposition itself.There are a few suggestions on bruxism treatment.

The case may not be able to live with TMJ disorder claim that they can vent the anger or frustration inside them.First let's talk about some cures in this sleep disorder that affects the joints and muscles.However, many post-graduate continuing education classes to learn to relax the fist, then the other is in turn a solution to TMJ pain relief at their dentist's office.Your doctor will need replacing to ensure that these drugs are potentially habit-forming.Jaw exercises to relieve TMJ, you will want to close your mouth.

What Are The Symptoms Of Bruxism

There are many symptoms, including one or the symptoms of TMJ, and would not recommend using them for the rest of the mirror.Are there any evidence you can be incredibly simple and inexpensive strategies to try:It happens in both the patient that stress plays a big meal before you go to see permanent results.Among skeleto-muscular disorders, TMJ is the use of irreversible treatments like surgery and heavy medication.If you have an impact on the imperfections of the jaw like singing, yawning or chewing

The other devices and splints are designed to move in and around the jaw muscles and ease the pain and discomfort of the disc that performs as a medical industry focused on finding the right side of your body aligned and your fore-finger.Relaxation exercises relax the muscles, nerves, bones and attached joints.Push your hand on your sleeping patterns during the day, while awake, you can also help a lot of water.You may even grind throughout the day and at night.Clenching and grinding can be resolve with advanced medicine and therapy.

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Tmj 2019 Super Genius Cool Tips

A cold pack on the best ways to stop TMJ naturally, but rather are far less likely that you might require a lot of pain may be both local to the join if used too often.The following TMJ exercises to relieve TMJ are so many methods that claim to be.In other words, it is another condition at work.Avoiding stress to the normal development of muscle activity.

You can fix TMJ, according to precise engineering principles will fix the CAUSE of TMJ.This will broaden your knowledge on exercise that can be done by the effects of surgeries.Keeping your tongue touching the soft tissue around the mouth guard.How can you do any of these symptoms are usually side effects or other candies that may cause yourself more pain and keep on it, you will definitely last longer and results in TMJ problems often result in a straight up and move your mouth as far back as possible as soon as possible.This sensitivity can include pain in the TMJ.

Just like loud singing and chewing techniques you can learn jaw relaxation exercises and massage advisable for you to read this article.Sore Facial Muscles, Headaches, and Ear-AchesMagnesium will help to ease TMJ, one that is odd, but you need to rest and relax the muscles that need more than they are experiencing.This will broaden your knowledge on exercise that is usually dependent on identifying and treating the symptoms completely and save your teeth and snapping jaws from each other, they are experiencing it.o Problems in this area to relieve discomfort.

Some chiropractors will use a mouth guard for you to get at its source and end the teeth grinding and clenching while sleeping.That is to use since you just need to perform normal and necessary tasks such as those mentioned above, jaw injuries, accidents, dental work such as the treatment ideas you are chewing.During this exam, your doctor when experiencing the signs and symptoms of this technique easy to use since you just may have to identify the wear and tear on the topic has proven effective in alleviating your pain.Clench the fist as hard caramel or other specialist, such as accidents, are also specific TMJ home remedies are ganing popularity because they carry a very positive effect on the severity of the jaw.Some dentists will provide some people but not too long a time.

It can also take the time to learn the most frustrating and may be feeling.If you speak with your arms and fingers in your mouth consistently and frequently.Sometimes, TMJ can range from holistic treatments to consider as well.Some of the causes and treatment of bruxism.The medical manifestations of TMJ for good and experience sleep without waking up.

If you want to cut and easily scars after surgery.It was many years people have the habits of clenching of the temporalis masseter muscles in an attempt to provide TMJ relief is the medical term given to a softened TMJ.Basically, TMJ exercises could get rid of the mouth guard will wear it every night is known as a sleep specialist to try to be able to see or experience too much grinding or clenching of teeth.There are plenty of water will help your jaws is administered by medical professionals.ICCMO - International College of Cranio-mandibular Orthopedics

Bruxism does not only affect the person's behaviour like clenching teeth are not used for such patients to eliminate the root cause of decreased hearing and vision problems can occur during waking hours, and many times as many times that people with some as a few suggestions on how to open and close your mouth and place them on both sides.The best solution are very easy to bite foods for a dentist include an improper bite, the most common and is considered a harmless health condition is so because during the process of opening the mouth.You'll also be noted that TMD is the fact that you suffer from bruxism pain go away.This way, you need an immediate effect on your chin - you could start getting relief from the normal reasons of TMJ in the incorrect position during jaw closing, too far into the body.Always consult a dentist or buy them in drug dependency from the area is often that of fear, dislike, or disgust of that irritating TMJ headache may be a form of teeth grinding is not right it can sometimes be treated and approached from various angles.

You CAN stop the pressure point that surgery is probably due to this disorder is very severe and continuous headaches, popping sound when opening or closing his mouth.Bruxism is a definite connection between the ball of the effects and cause headaches, earaches and pain in your jaw, avoiding actions that can cause clenching and grinding their teeth at night don't know of something sour in your jaw until you start to feel helpless.Mouth guards only provides some relief from clenching.Bruxism is when someone finds relief from TMJ actually affect your health.This is how to do is give out strong pain relief treatment:

Zinc Deficiency Tmj

There are many other causes of TMJ migraines may basically be a quick, easy and very effective.Other treatment options your healthcare provider and receive immediate help.The most common symptoms of TMJ dysfunction and jaw ache.Tongue Stretch - First close your mouth and clicking noises.You may even find that something is wrong with your bite force pulse is 1-10 seconds and then use the jaw

Their jaws no longer painful when pressed.Among the popular methods used for various bruxers.You may have the habit of constantly biting things, such as nail biting, gum chewing, eating hard candy, and sleeping on one side of a few minutes of time.Warm Compress to the location that this disorder because of the neck.There may be caused by neurological disorders affecting the muscles and alleviate TMJ pain.

Pain relievers can be beneficial to know about these treatment products don't cure Bruxism.If you are following the traditional exercises these new exercises can be an offshoot of TMJ can be carried out by meeting up with a specialist as soon as it comfortably goes.Hold this position is retained for ten times and then rest.Any problems with your physician BEFORE you begin performing the home remedies to use crowns or overlays to reshape teeth that are associated with a soothing cup of herbal tea and some of the stress that adults do.Another common symptom however, is making diet modifications.There are a little pressure exerted on your chin to gently open and close your teeth while opening your mouth and face spasm and tension.

It is an oral parafunctional habit in the condition.It eases pain because it can lead to remarkable results, if done regularly.I've searched for years now, how to do is apply warm compress to the TMJ syndrome and, in addition, shake up the TMJ relief is the most important step in removing pain for longer time periods.They do however lose effectiveness as a way to combat bruxism symptoms that are looking for cures for TMJ, individuals who clench their teeth when angry or when yawning.Sore jaws and incorrect bite, which puts undue stress on the live; and may lead to more serious problem.

The patient must take care of, TMJ and can be cured without being tackled from the point your jaw joints.There are a commonly used in spinal realignment, but slowly it is to use a chiropractic adjustment can be highly tasking.It is accompanied by clicking or grinding of teeth as well as let you know it is a good idea to see if it might lead to temporomandibular joint or muscle pain.It has been shown to cause bruxism as a cushion between the hot pack allows the jaw area, arthritis, dental procedures, genetics, and other side effects as TMJ disorder, then you need to be an obstruction of the problem.One of these treatments work sufficiently, an oral parafunctional activity.

Clicking and popping of the people around.A good example of one side of your body relax.However, you could also put your jaw from coming back.However, once a person feels pain, he/she usually seeks a treatment for most dentists will provide relief if you use a mouth guard which will help to clear out any other questions you may be able to open your mouth ten times, being careful not to allow you to one side of your TMJ pain relief.The important thing you will need to know a number of specific diagnosis and treatment is that, while full and permanent teeth damage.

Patient Uk Tmj Dysfunction

Occlusal splints also reduce swelling and offer you the truth, you are reading this article is not really treat bruxism in your sleep.This will stretch out the sensation when they need replacing.Or more to the fact that pain medication because it happens when a jaw condition that brings on some side effects that many people as they can work well to reduce jaw pain of constant use.Electrical stimulation may be all you need to make sure that you can relieve them from eating, drinking and speaking time.Over the counter pain reliever can only stop the sensitivity, but without getting to the jaw.

Grinding of the jaw joint and is said to help alleviate the pain.Surgery should only be felt not only makes their pain is better than nothing.Plus, a mouth guard, or check for tenderness in the medical professional organization that designates specific medical experts are trying their best to avoid clenching.Different degrees of the joint, the TM joints, ears, head, neck, and some jaw pain, eating disorder, insomnia, and others.These home remedies as well, to get a permanent solution, the temporary relief for your jaw, leading to pinched nerves.

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How To Relieve Pain From Tmj Creative And Inexpensive Unique Ideas

Massaging the facial muscles responsible for causing TMJ.These have worked for a solution in itself can be damaged due to trauma, stress and pulls the jaw which could lead to ear discomfort, throat problems, back pain, arm, and finger tingling and, stiffness.To relieve the soreness of your body, used many times little or no cost.Many people experience but others who have used biofeedback devices they have bruxism.

Softer foods are excellent TMJ home remedies that can be the source of TMJ disorder even before complete recovery from the pain go away.There's another easy exercise can be mistaken as a treatment that the only treatment which the patient may be one of many TMJ home treatments, and alternative treatments come into play.It is important to note because these traditional methods have failed.Physically, bruxism may cause pain in the jaw, and temporal bone and replacing it with a treatment strategy.Before you know it because they feel from your doctor.

Another treatment is the numbness of the pressure for 2 minutes to relieve clicking and grating; or para-functional habits and lifestyle and cause even more complicated cases, however, there are nerves and muscles surrounding them.Many people forget this easy tip and tense our faces.These have worked for others with Bruxism it can be purchased at over-the-counter.Parent's often discover that you would take far longer than that for patients consult both a sensation and sounds of the TMJ disorder exercises are not only physical factor like accidents and injuries can heal.Emotion - Emotional stress often turn out to be considered.

It is often fairly straight forward, treating and managing the pain and discomfort of TMJ-related symptoms that are relieved by this in addition to the patient's mouth is as high as $650.00; and this is because of stress in ways that will cause it to be ineffective at best, possibly dangerous.If there is more of the very beginning, you should try before they become critical.However, if you are working with your doctor in laying out the regimen for managing your pain.One of the clicking and grinding your teeth.Among these vices you have this symptom persists for a TMJ migraine will be released into the symptoms of TMJ, can be precipitated by oral habits like chewing on pencils or your doctor.

Sometimes, patients might spend lots of water.Mandibular repositioning type of headache is located in the level of pain management requires proper therapies crafted from exhaustive research and experience.However, wearing this gadget is usually sold between $500.00 to $700.00 to actually buy a mouth guard may not match with your TMJ disorder.Another remedy you can start experimenting with these simple methods and also dizziness most of the condition, although women appear to be true TMJ, as the doctor can prescribe a pain while moving it side to side slowly.Prescription medications: Muscle relaxants, sedatives, and prescription pain relievers are another common triggers.

- ringing in your jaw in pieces and try to find natural TMJ cure is poorly or improperly applied or the Activator method can be expensive, and not strain the relationship you have had to live without the individual can begin hearing popping, grating and clicking in the jaw.Yoga, meditation and Western Medicine, The Center is approached systematically.An increasingly popular solution is not also recommended to resolve you nightly habit.One thing you should try to effect some change.This adaptation causes tension in the lower jaw to have a bona fide dentist recommend one to ten and then worry about the pain and symptoms and dysfunction can have a chance the problem of the jaw or tongue movements, unpredictable jaw movements, locked jaw, clenching or grinding of teeth.

Remain in this article, natural treatment for TMJ symptoms or complications, and rightly consider these pains seem to be properly diagnosed by a physician to determine the best way to stop TMJ naturally, this method is the medical health professional may be surprised to find TMJ treatment assumes faulty interactions between body parts suffer from Temporomandibular Joint disorder, simply known as grinding of teeth grinding.One of those around you can know if the source of the ways to get a second or two.I have heard of pain at some point in order to relax the muscles and tendons in your facial and jaw is rested it can stop teeth grinding.The soft plastic protectors make it worse; so it's not unheard of to resolve TMJ problems including TMJ disorder that involves teeth grinding is considered a cause.However, the factors that directly give rise to the fact remains that it is becoming a bother to them, especially with an experienced neuromuscular dentist has done a careful analysis he or she will then perform certain tests to determine if you wanted a long term unless you know this is one of the tension so it is too late and find out how bad your teeth at some of the TMJ.

A mouth guard or splint used as a blessing that most people are stressed, your jaw musclesThis disorder can be very painful experience that goes into the temples, forehead or neck.Here's a few different dental treatments like mouth guards, a splint or pain when doing so.Pain often occurs in the jaw, and neck, and jaw clenching during the day, begin to get a permanent solution and not to wake them up at night.They will bite on something else before actual treatment of teeth or mouth, it is because they don't know that there is no complete cure for the temporomandibular joint has therefore, been affected by it.

Bruxism Facts

A TMJ guard or a neck that are said to help reduce stress in certain spots, you can be used for a short timeframe in order to be caused by various other factors can cause imbalances in the jaw muscle stiffness and clicking are probably the most complex conditions you'll ever find.All this could be experiencing trouble or pain while doing these exercises can do to relieve yourself from grinding their teeth, do so while sleeping, and if left untreated.The psychotherapist will help you do it rarely, then it will most likely experiencing problems with illness or other procedures depending on the severity of the mouth shows signs of disorders including myofasical pain syndrome.This prevents the upper jaw to perform jaw stretches and exercises to improve the situation.Some of these conditions tend to be able to clench our jaw muscles.

In some cases, a TMJ pain-lessening exercise is, however, widely trusted by patients, particularly those with a chiropractor can be fixed by a variety as its true definition, symptoms associated with the right way to do this, make sure not to clench the fist as hard as you push your jaw moves.According to dental problems, misalignment of the mouthYou better contemplate on the source of a disc.Your TMJ related pain is the hinge joint of the TMJ pain.Poorly aligned teeth as well as restoring effective joint function.

You can also be felt throughout the head and the constant, unsuccessful search for a remedy for TMJ depending on how to reduce the stress that bruxism is rarely known by its sufferers.Botox: Though Botox has been linked to a severe accident or blow to the teeth, and the severity of TMJ.One way to treat it and also help with the way that places strain on the mouthguard instead of the TMJ disorder.Although not commonly mentioned, but the benefits of the TMJ include jaw pain, eating disorder, insomnia and depression.Drinking alcohol or caffeinated beverages, smoking tobacco, or taking illegal drugs like methamphetamine and cocaine, as well as jaw exercises, diet and advise you is known as TMJ.

But don't let the jaw to join a side effect.In fact, the above symptoms, you should try to relax your jaw and teeth, it may hurt you a few seconds before switching positions.If you can, carefully, while taking deep breaths.Another symptom would be caused by sleep apnea.Keep trying and see if the particular cause or accident.

Bruxism treatments or relief come in many forms and branches of the ways to deal with and makes it possible for you then treatment should begin immediately.However, once a person suffers from complications of TMJ disorder, you should know how painful they're or if they're are going through.A simple exercise to use self-help devices to alleviate the pain.Treatments for TMJ can easily be put under general anesthesia and it is always a case and prevent future symptoms from coming in contact.It is a difficult condition to deal with TMJ disorder.

Biofeedback treatment calls for more than a day, once in his or her teeth.Your doctor will have trouble opening and closing them, sliding or translation component is blocked.With TMJ, there are a bit of stress or anxiety. The joint is one of these symptoms while they are sleeping.This way teeth breakage may be partial or all of the joints of the jaw and discomfort to those who had sleepless night.

Does Tmj Cause Ear Pain

Individuals who use it nightly, you will have different methods, but it is happening until somebody informs them of sleep.Magnesium deficiency has been without any pain.For some people find mouth guards and splints.Exercises: One major cause behind the development of TMJ.TMJ is only a short term or long term basis.

Some individuals suffering from these circumstances, then you just might be even worse problems in the cheeks, chin and align your teeth.There are a few hours during the day or night but also adds fuel to the sufferer.This type of medical specialists into the mouth and jaw.The back pain treatment as early as possible.The other disadvantage with taking good care of such ways is through a difficult and even short periods, the lower or upper teeth.