#perhaps once thats all done ill have more mental energy

[mrgaretcarter]

i want to write or make gifs again but lack of inspiration terrible attention span and adult responsibilities

[alright--okay]

you ever been to a basement show? pt. 3

tsukishima kei x reader

summary: Tsukishima sees you everywhere, and for a big school thats weird. And it’s not like he’s gonna do anything, that’d be even weirder, but one day in your shared lecture he sees you wearing a shirt with some small band’s name. A band he know. And well, now he has to know who you are.

word count: ~2.8 k

a/n: the first five chapters are already on ao3 so imma post them here real quick, hope anyone reading enjoys!

read on ao3!

pt. 3 Girl Scout Cookies - Mom Jeans.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Tsukishima said as you walked into the lecture hall, gesturing to your outfit.

“I don’t understand the question.” You calmly replied taking a seat beside him, only to awkwardly bring your legs up to the chair in front of you. The attempt to look laid back and “chill” clearly not working.

Tsukishima widened his eyes and pointedly shifted his gaze to your plaid pants.

“They’re my fun pants!”

“Is fun the word we’re gonna use?”

“Yes. We are. Because these,” you gestured to the patterned pants, “are a statement piece and fashionable. I look trendy and professional.”

“You look like you got lost on your way to an underground cafe that serves farm-fresh honey.”

“That sounds delightful, not gonna lie.” You turned away from Tsukishima to start unpacking your materials for the class. “Oh, and before I forget, I figured you’d like to know that Yachi was very happy to see you again.”

Tsukishima let a small smile slip onto his face at that, “I’m sure, Yachi was close with a lot of us on the volleyball team; when we got to college it just got harder to coordinate, even if we were at the same school.” He turned to look at the pen he had been playing with in his hand, “It was nice to see her too.”

“Aw, Tsukishima, you do have a heart!” You laughed. Even though you had known Tsukishima for a short period of time, it was easy to get comfortable around him. You actually kinda enjoyed his snarky attitude and it was fun to tease him. Not to mention Yachi trusted the dude so you knew he had to be a good person (even if it was deep down).

Tsukishima attempted to ignore you the rest of the class for that comment but decided to bother you by pushing your elbow off your shared armrest every chance he got.

After the third time your pen ran down the page in an abrupt straight line, you stoned your face and silently looked forward, ignoring the chuckles Tsukishima was hiding behind his hand. You slide the small lecture desk back in its place and calmly made your way to one seat over. Once settled again you turned to Tsukishima who was already looking at you with bright eyes and a poorly repressed smile.

“I’m not having it.”

~~~

From Tsukishima archeology:

hey i don’t know if you’d be interested but me yamaguchi and our other roommates were gonna have a game night situation tonight

i think yamaguchi told yachi about it but i wanted to let you know that youre welcome

to come that is

if you want to

You smiled at the texts. Yachi had informed you of the “game night situation” happening on Friday last night, but it had seemed wrong to impose. These were friends Yachi hadn’t seen in how long? And you were just supposed to crash their full reunion? But Yachi had taken the time to assure you that yes, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were friends from high school, but their other roommates were really just “friends-of-friends”.

She had convinced you to come with her to be another familiar face, but having Tsukishima explicitly invite you made you feel better about the situation as a whole.

To Tsukishima archeology:

yeah yachi told me !! ill see you there :)

You slipped your phone back into your pocket and continued your walk away from campus to your apartment with Yachi. It was still the early afternoon and you were (thankfully) done with classes for the week, giving you plenty of time to mentally prepare for a night of socialization with a group of people you largely didn’t know.

What the fuck did you agree to?

~~~~~~

“So she is confirmed coming?” Yamaguchi asked from the kitchen, peering around the corner to see Tsukishima, hunched over his phone starring at the screen.

“Yeah, she’s coming with Yachi.”

“I still can’t believe she knows Yachi,” Yamaguchi said, shaking his head slightly as he sat beside Tsukishima on the couch. “Well, at least it gave us a reason to reach out, right? I’ve missed my favorite blonde.”

Tsukishima beside him sat up, looking at his friend, “Oh so I’m number two?”

“Sorry, but you’re number three,” Yamaguchi said with false sincerity, “Akiteru beat you out when he brought those pork buns last month.”

Tsukishima gave his friend a blank stare before falling back into the couch with a “shuddup Yamaguchi” mumbled under his breath, Yamaguchi only offering a snicker in response.

“Come on, get up. We have to prepare this place for tonight.” Yamaguchi stood, holding out a hand to help Tsukishima up.

“Prepare? It’s not like we’re throwing a party or something.”

“No, but we have a fairly tiny apartment and with eight peop-”

“Wait, eight? I thought there would only be six…” Tsukishima trailed off as he came to realize who the other two were.

Yamaguchi gave a nod, moving to fix the couches in the small space, “Yep. Bokuto was sad he couldn’t come last weekend so they’re taking the train in. They should be here in like an hour. Hope your new friend likes being interrogated.”

At this Tsukishima groaned. “I might have finally found a normal friend and those two are gonna ruin it.”

“Oh come on, Tsukki. Yeah, they’re loud and crash and have way too much energy BUT you love them.”

“I love Kenma and Akaashi, that’s the only way I deal with those buffoons.” Tsukishima paused before going to help Yamaguchi position the couch, “But for real … do you think they’ll scare y/n?“

“Tsukki, that girl can deal with you. I’m sure she’ll be fine with Kuroo and Bokuto. Plus Yachi is gonna be here, Kenma and Akaashi will keep them in line for her, and by proxy, y/n.”

Tsukishima knew this was true at least. Back in their first year of university, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Yachi hung out a lot more and even back then Kuroo and Bokuto would come to visit their respective boyfriends. In the few times all of them would hang out together, Kenma and Akaashi made sure the two were respectful of Yachi, knowing how anxious she could get.

So as long as Kuroo and Bokuto didn’t get you alone, all should be fine.

~~~~~~

“Oho, ho, ho,” a man with black and white spiked hair approached you with wide eyes, getting borderline too close to your face before you even fully walked through the door, “who are you?”

“I’m y/n, it’s uh, nice to meet you.” you tried to give a casual smile as the man continued to make direct eye contact with you, “I like your hair.”

His face lit up with a blinding smile, “Thank you! Your hair is also very nice, very pretty, suits your face shape.” A genuine smile slipped on your face at the compliment, “I’m Bokuto Koutarou, I don’t live here.” His smile still in place, despite your now confused expression, “And Yachi! I haven’t seen you in forever!” Bokuto turned to your roommate who had been standing beside you, leaning down to give her a seemingly very tight hug.

“Hello, Bokuto-san!” This was not one of the people Yachi had told you about. She had mentioned Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s other two roommates, but nothing about a random boisterous man.

“Bokuto, please put her down.” A very pretty man came from around the corner, laying a hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. Bokuto did such and turned to throw an arm around the man’s shoulders. “It’s nice to see you again, Yachi.” He now faced you with a small smile just barely curving his lips, “And you must be y/n? Tsukishima said he invited another friend.”

“Yes, that would be me. Can I assume you live here?”

“You can. I’m Akaashi Keiji and you’ve met my boyfriend I see.” Boyfriend got it. “Everyone else is in the kitchen getting snacks but feel free to get comfortable.” He gave you two another smile before going back down the hallway he came, Bokuto trailing behind him.

You and Yachi walked over to the small living room area in front of you, “Sorry I didn’t warn you about Bokuto, I didn’t realize he was coming.”

“It’s all good,” you said with a chuckle, “He seems nice.”

“He is! It probably means that Kuroo is here too, but don’t worry! He’s nice too! They can just get kind of … loud.” The two of you were interrupted by a freckled man (who you recognized as Yamaguchi from pictures Yachi had shown you) that walked into a room.

“Yachi! What’s up?” His smile was warm as the two met in a hug, “And y/n! It’s nice to officially meet you.”

“Same. I’m happy to expand my social circle,” you said, returning his smile with a chuckle.

“So as for games-”

“Y/N!” You startled at your name being yelled by an unfamiliar man (possibly, Kuroo? He was already loud) power walking from the hallway. Tsukishima was quickly trailing behind him, trying to act calm but obviously failing. “Were you the vixen that swept our dear Tsukki away last Saturday night?”

Your wide-eyed gaze met Tsukishima’s (who looked physically in pain), “Perhaps.” Tsukishima closed his eyes, seeming to anticipate the following smirk that grows on the man’s face at your answer. “But in my defense, Yachi was there too.”

“Yes, but Tsukki didn’t know that, did he.” Eyes turn to Tsukishima, who was now sitting at the end of the couch, a hand rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses.

“Can we move on?”

“No! We cannot, but first,” Kuroo looks to Bokuto, both straightening their backs as they say simultaneously, “shots?”

Oh, this was going to be a fun night.

~~~

“Tsukishima. Tsukishima … Tsuki … shima”

“Can I help you?”

“Please let me try on your glasses.” Okay so maybe the sixth shot was a bad idea. “Please, I just want to see how blind you are.”

You were usually okay when it came to drinking, never getting too wild or out of control, but the vibe of the night mixed with Tsukishima still being annoyingly sober after three drinks made you more … talkative.

“I’m not blind.” Tsukishima relented, slipping his glasses from his face and into your waiting hand, and subsequently onto your face.

“Damn, you really aren’t, this is a pussy prescription.” Your eyes were slightly glazed as they looked around the living room, not being able to focus on the shapes of the room.

Kuroo broke into a cackle from his position on the floor playing a card game with Bokuto, Akaashi, and Yachi, “Fucking burn Tsukki.”

“Kuroo.” Kenma called, curled around a pillow on the couch, phone clutched in hand.

“Sorry, sorry. Quiet voice, shhhh.” Kenma gave a nod and returned to his huddled position.

You focused back on Tsukishima, giving him his glasses, “I used to wear glasses, you know. My prescription was really bad. I’ve been wearing contacts recently though, hence the,” you gestured to your face, lacking frames.

“So that’s how you know I have a ‘pussy prescription’?”

“Heh wait, ‘pussy prescription,’ I just realized.” You giggled at him, “Like the opposite of a dick appointment.”

“Alright, that’s enough of that conversation. Want some water?”

“Yes, but also!” You faced the other members of the group in their various positions around the small room, “can we order food?”

“Now that’s what I like to hear!” Bokuto sprang up, already going around the room to take orders before calling in an order to a local restaurant, known to be specifically used by drunk college students at two a.m.

While Bokuto and Kuroo left to pick up the order, you quietly sat back down next to Tsukishima.

“I know this is very out of the blue and maybe it’s cause I’m a lil drunk-”

“A little?”

“Shaddup, I’m not that bad,” you gently slapped his chest at the comment (and wow that’s a thought for later), “just … thank you for inviting me.”

“Well, you know, we were inviting Yachi, just seemed like we were obligated to and all that.” Tsukishima wasn’t looking at you but you could see a light blush staining the tops of his cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sure you were very obligated to do so. But come on bro, I’m trying to have a tender moment.”

“… you’re welcome.” You stared at him intensely, he sighed before relenting, “Okay, I get it. I’m glad you came. Seriously.”

You smiled up at him, “Do you guys do this type of thing often? You guys are all really nice and I think Yachi is happy to have you guys back in her life. I think the both of us would really enjoy doing this again.”

Tsukishima gave a small smile back, “I think the both of you are welcome anytime.”

“Glad to hear it.”

The two of you sat in your own bubble for a bit before the smack of the door against the wall alerted you to the food arriving.

The night ended soon after that, everyone sitting on various pieces of furniture in the cramped space, slowly sobering up and getting sleepier at the same time while eating your respective orders (and if you stole some of Tsukishima’s french fries, no one had to know).

Akaashi had already dragged a clingy, half-awake Bokuto to their bedroom, and Kenma had been curled half on Kuroo’s lap for the last half hour. Yamaguchi, while still participating in conversation, was letting out large yawns in the middle of sentences and Yachi wasn’t much better.

“Alright, I think we should head home,” you said, turning to Yachi who slowly nodded in agreement. The two of you rose, slipping your shoes and coats on near the door, “it’s been real, goodnight everyone, I hope to see you soon.” Yachi also giving a quiet goodbye to the room.

“I’ll walk you guys home, it’s late and Tokyo can get scary at night,” Tsukishima said, walking over to his own set of shoes and coat.

“Thank you, Tsukki,” Yachi replied, continuing to settle into her coat. You didn’t voice your own thanks, but you smiled at Tsukishima.

“What a gentleman, Tsukki. It was a pleasure to see you ladies,” Kuroo said, voice much quieter than it was previously in the night.

You and Yachi waved as a final goodbye for the night before the three of you made the short walk to your apartment.

~~~~~~

It didn’t take long for Tsukki to see you and Yachi off. Just as he had done last Saturday, he walked you two to the door where you all said your goodbyes.

“Hey text me when you get home, I heard these streets can get scary.” You told Tsukishima as you entered your building.

“Yeah, I will,” You smiled at him then turned back to walk with Yachi further into the building.

Tsukishima took his time going back to the apartment, reflecting on tonight’s events. You got along with his friends. That was good. That was a normal thing to want from a new friend. Just a friend. Yeah, he could go with that.

He tried to be quiet entering the apartment, but it was no use, Kuroo and Yamaguchi were still sitting in the living room and immediately turned to him.

“So … ” Yamaguchi began.

“You and y/n seem to be getting close,” Kuroo winked and tried to raise his eyebrows at Tsukishima but the movement ending up looking twitchy and not at all smooth.

Tsukishima tried to look aloof as he answered their waiting stares, “She doesn’t like me like that.”

“Wait, so does that mean you like her like that?” Yamaguchi smiled, seeing the slight tensing of his friend’s shoulders.

“Oh, that is definitely what it means, Yama.”

“No, no it does not,” Tsukishima tried to stop the two before they had the idea hard set in their minds, “y/n is just a friend. We like the same music, we share a singular class, and yeah okay she’s kinda cute-”

“Oho, ho, ho, did you hear that Yamaguchi?” Fuck. Kuroo’s smirk was wide at this point, “So this is happening then?”

“Nothing is happening.” Tsukishima quickly finished ripping off his shoe and walked to his room to pass out for the night, he could still hear Yamaguchi’s reply to Kuroo though as he shut the door.

“It’s happening.”

Tsukishima sighed, sprawling across his bed. Before he forgot, he pulled up his phone.

To y/n:

streets weren’t too bad

i got mugged but the scar is gonna be pretty cool

From y/n:

does it at least go through your eyebrow?

To y/n:

just a little bit :/

From y/n:

i dunno man

is it really worth it at that point

To y/n:

…

goodnight y/n

From y/n:

goodnight tsukishima

[mcgrannkileigh1996]

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[askluxnovalibra]

Part 1 Hey can you please help me, I'm a libra sun sag moon scorpio venus and mercury (and dominant) and nobody has really seen me cry or sensitive and I feel like nobody rly knows me except for my brother, cousin, and two closest friends... but they kinda suck at opening up too, and my brother has enough psychological problems. I always get perfectly along with scorpios and capricorns and yin moons bc i understand how underrated and misinterpreted their suffer and pain are

Part 2 And there are these two friends: sag suns with scorpio/pisces moon… and they are so omg im sorry but its so freaking painful. They both have their problems but they both are so fckin shallow seriously. The pisces moon just doesnt understand what life is and is brutally ingenuous. And scorpio moon is such a b**** rly. She has a tough backstory her brother has always been a jerk (he’s mentally ill) And i though she would be great bc she always says she understands pain and etc.Part 3 And here comes the deal: I have been exposed to mentally ill ppl, ocd hysterical and completely evil people who happened to be my beloved family. At 14 I stopped having them and found out they were everything I didn’t expect them to be. I lost my whole childhood (wich happened to be my basic reason to live). At 15 I went to a sports school. They were our friends, we trusted them. One year goes by and once again I am betrayed by my friends and fall on the ground.Part 4 Then, comes the BEST part. As ive said im a scorpio venus. I fell in love at first sight with a boy that totally corresponded. Small detail: he had a gf. He now broke up with her so thats kinda nice (not to sound mean, rly) for me but whatever; I was 15 and I had been betrayed by everyone. At 16 I was dead inside. I didn’t get attached i didnt live i didnt like to be even awake i cries everyday before school and after school and before going to bed.Part 5 I even got to a point of cutting my arms bc i enjoyed knowing the pain i was going through was actually real and not “sumthin you have to go through, its life.” I met the scorpio moon. At first she seemed awesome. Until getting upset at the smallest thing. Im a scorpio dominant and i know i dont need to be like that. I know she just does this because shes immature and has no clue of life. Im sorry im doing this long ask but rly i need help. No one literally no one knows this.Part 6 No one knows i cry no one knows i ever even cut my arms. And no one even notices. Thank god tbh. No one knows and imagines what it is to cry and scream and DIE for a dude you don’t even know. I know it sounds exaggerated but its the truths. I cant fall in love with anybody else since im 15 and im 17 (turning 18 this year) I live in a house ik im moving out of but i dont know when. I live with my mom in my grandmothers and she is also mentally ill. My mom too is always mentally unstablePart 7 She’s been through everything no one should go through. My dad is f****d up with this house and always hides very well we actually don’t have lots of money. My brother is an amazing soul an exceptional person who fell in love almost 5 years ago and still has anxiety bc of what happened (he didn’t know her too) and has too many psychological problems. I’m stuck with myself and no one seems to understand. I’m so sorry for this post. I’m so, so sorry. It’s just I’m done. I’m tired of pplPart 8 Im tired of ppl making me cry Of ppl being shallow Ppl hurting me and seeing me as A B*TCH I just need someone that actually knows. That actually can tell me they understand me and they too hate it all like me. Im so sorry and thank you for having the patience to read this. ❤️💖———————————————————–

It sounds like you’re going through a really challenging time in your life. I know it can seem endless, and it can seem like everyone is out to get you. Once you feel betrayed, it can be hard to trust people again. It is all too easy to be stuck in our own extreme emotions. After losing faith in someone, it’s tempting to write off everyone in your life as fake, shallow, and naive. Constantly replaying the betrayal in your mind will only do you harm. It’ll only make you more angry and more likely to adopt the “me against the world” type of attitude. You’re 17. You’re still young. You still have a long life ahead of you, and it would be remiss of you to go through life with that sort of attitude. You’ve been wronged, and it is alright to acknowledge that, but you must now think about the situation with your heart, perhaps not so much with your heart. The heart can be easily mislead, easily angered, easily fooled, easily spiteful, easily misguided. Consider moving into a stage of forgiveness. Forgiveness in this sense is not saying that those people’s actions were ok, forgiveness is more for your own sake. Start to detach yourself from the pain those actions caused you. Continuing to obsess over the transgressions of others will hinders your own progress. If the wound is to ever heal, you must stop picking at the scab. Let yourself move on. One way you can do that is to write everything down (as you have bravely shared with me, a stranger) on a piece of paper. Write out every hurt, every frustration, everything that keeps you up at night. Then tear it up, burn it, or throw it away. It clears the energy. It’s no longer a problem, it’s out of your head, and you are free to move on. Detach yourself from people you can’t trust. If they’re actively causing drama or unpleasantness, leave the situation. If you can, slowly stop reaching out to them, or say you don’t feel like hanging out. If you want closure, you could meet up with the, to talk. It’s harder when they’re your family members because you can’t really escape them, but you can still with them and talk out your problems. You can say “I’m having a hard time understanding why you did this …” or “I’m confused about this situation…” or “I felt hurt when this happened…”. You must also realize that most people aren’t complete bad. In a lot of what you described, I couldn’t help but think that perhaps some of those people aren’t actively out to get you. I think you may be too close to the situation. I would advise you to get an outside perspective. You reached out to me, and that is a great start, but I only have a limited understanding of the situation, and only from your perspective. I think the best course of action is to seek real, professional help. As someone who harms themself and who is surrounded by the effects of mental illness, I would seriously consider seeking out a therapist or counselor. I am not a professional. I do not know you personally, and so the advice I can offer is very limited. Seeking someone who has gone to school for psychology will be able to help you much more than I can. It is brave of you to share this, and it’s a good sign that you’re willing to reach out to others. Consider asking for professional’s help in your area. Likely your school has access to counselors and can refer you to a full-time therapist.

I really do wish you the best 🌸

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[felicezhukov]

:: Dear Nicolas Jaar ::

I was a strange child, at once precocious and also highly conscious of my surroundings. There's a video from my childhood: me wide eyed, slow and eerily aware, calmly explaining my little ponies to the camera, as an easy comparison theres a quality in me which mirrors a child in a horror film, with lapsed responses and something in my eyes, some otherworldly vision I can't share.

This oddness led to me being bullied I think, I was always an outsider and in a larger more diverse and cosmopolitan town I was just left to my own devices, looked upon curiously but nothing more. But when my parents uprooted us to the deep countryside and the population of my school crumbled to about an 1/8th of its previous side, I was suddenly cast in to the spotlight and the handful of girls in my year quickly turned on me under the coercion of a gunmetal leader with a tight ponytail who seemed to come from a tough family of steely women.

There were other factors, a boy who I liked and wanted to see me in my true form, as ginger spice, the act of coming to a place that I hadn't formed in, perhaps if they'd known me from the beginning they'd of been used to my ways and it was my relative newness as an entity in their world that fed the rejection.

Whatever the reasons the consequences were something I've become very used to now, no one spoke to me really, I spent my time alone drawing and hanging around with much younger children, my legs curled up in my shirt like a frog, wiling away the days in a sort of contented but resolute loneliness and quiet hope one day I'd be included. Through everything that happened I never once confronted the girl that fiercely disliked me, I was taught early to ignore and take the higher road which is what I'd done when I was very young and being bullied, so it was what stuck, I suffered in silence preferring not to involve anyone else in my expulsion from the group.

Eventually one of the mothers found out, I can't remember the details of how but I do remember the girls in my year dutifully approaching me at the swimming pool in the lockers, without their angry liege, apologising and then suddenly including me in everything. For the last bit of my year in that school, before we all moved on to high school, I was part of the gang, but through it an emotional memory sits strongly by its side. The observation that they swapped me for my tormentor, she was suddenly the outcast, I felt deep down that this easy interchange belied a fickleness, that these girls were not my friends but instead a set of little people which could be herded by the strongest individual, I felt sorry for my bully recognising th solitary plight she now faced.

I never fought her, never squared up to her in the school yard, never voiced my anger or discontent to either her or her friends.

This pattern of isolation, of being too unusual to easily slot into a social dynamic, has been the mainstay of my life ever since. As I cast my mind back I see myself alone watching many groups usher past, at high school with one friend to relay my woes to but in class normally in my own company and then beyond, studiously focusing on my art, watching others at a distance, never fading in to the background but instead becoming a notorious figure that just didnt quite mesh into the fabric of the group.

Then alongside this, which is really a cliche but I maintain has been a truth, is how it causes men to hold me in a strange sort of regard, with fascination and trepidation. The men I've formed attachments to generally have been just out of reach but I've always gagued their interest in me, the looks, the energy somehow directed towards me. This is a different story though and a path I'll consider but come back to later.

Since primary school bullying has been intermittent, as I've gotten older, alcohol became a staple and social interactions expanded in their type and quality its ebbed in and out of my life. I guess though I've gotten more solid in myself and resistant to peer pressure or being knitted in to a group mentality, which has been manifested by a decisive approach to how I spend my energies and who I take the time with. In short, if I don't want to talk to you I wont, I wont make small talk or affect false interest, I will be polite but thats it. Too many times I've been burned now, its led me to close the drawbridge to my castle. Being closed does incite a kind of anger, especially, I've come to find, from men who are used to cultivating the women around them. Its meant I've started being bullied more frequently and more aggresively than for the majority of my life. As it increases as a factor in my life I've had to arrange myself to deal with it and through all this I've still never faced my bullies, in fact predominantly I've cut and run and suffered in silence, due to some misguided sense of nobility.

But yesterday this all changed.

In my last letter I implored my housemates to consider me and went in to depth about their behaviour but of course they didn't read it as I wasn't entirely presenting it to them. The anger and abusive element of whats been happening continued to spiral, I called my mum choking with anxiety on Sunday and then sat in wetherspoons deeply relieved to be in a neutral space. But yesterday, just as I was finishing my yoga practice, I could hear the angry violent reverberations pounding through my door and snapped. With two bare feet I faced one of my tormentors and then proceeded to lock in to a heated argument about what had been going on in the house.

I finally stood up for myself, I shook and it was unpleasant but courage and a strong sense of myself shone through and with the artillery of an accurate remembrance of the incidents in question I fought myself out of a corner.

I felt for the plumber who'd come to unblock the sink and then gotten caught in the crossfire, but I was also grateful for him because he gave me the courage to stand up.

Eventually, because this housemate for all her ill's is not dishonest and will admit when she is wrong with enough emphasis, my point was heard and she receeded, seeing herself in the light of my eyes, seeing what shed done wrong. In that instant I was grateful to her also, because others I've taken issue with have been far more complex, even the other character in this scenario would outright deny the facts. So I'm glad it was her I faced yesterday because she gave me back confidence and faith in myself. She helped me to find the well of strength of the muhrmaid samurai and to realise that I can fight people who impede my life, I have all the tools inside me to ward off harm.

The muhrmaid samurai swims inside murhmeat, its sillohette growing ever closer, becoming ever more defined.

I hope you have had a moment of self actualization, of coming to yourself and finding strength you hadn't realised you had. I guess all the shit I've had to deal with is finally converging into a backlash of resistance and power as my story continues to unfold.