#perhaps but i'm a very extra bitch so i feel like it's fine
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Hey, teacher! Catwin motorcycle AU part 3
Warning: Esther Finch is a total bitch
Edwin only has a whole amount of three seconds to properly steel himself, swallow a deep sigh, and force the most pleasant smile he can muster onto his face.
"Madam Finch. How are you this fine afternoon?"
Esther Finch lives on the nicest street, in the nicest neighbourhood, in a perfectly nice house, fit for an entire family of the nicest people in Port Townsend. There is nothing nice about Esther Finch. As the sole reigning heiress of the town’s long-lasting elite, she has more money than the mayor, owns enough land to constitute a national park, and is truly one of the worst people Edwin has ever met. Edwin reasons either her life didn’t quite turn out the way she imagined, or she simply decided her life reached its peak during her college years, and she’s not quite willing to give that up, even decades later. Obsessed with holding on to (at the very least the idea of) eternal youth, nostalgia perhaps for the control and power of years long, long past, Esther Finch both shoves and turns her nose up at everyone and anyone’s business in equal amounts, and takes extra personal interest in any males below the age of 20.
So according to the laws of the universe, one of her personal goals in life was to get Edwin into her bed, and under her thumb.
There’s something sickening about a woman twice his age sizing him up like a treat, giving him a saccharine-sweet smile instead of the disgusted curl of red-painted lips Edwin saw on her face just moments before. "Oh, Edwin, sweet thing." She struts closer with a clack of stilettos, kisses the air next to each of his cheeks, takes his hand, clinging to it like some sort of schoolgirl. She really is terribly obvious, and after over a year of this game, Edwin wonders how long he will have to make it clear he's not interested before she gives up. Or switches targets. Over the shoulder of her expensive-looking beige blazer, Edwin can see her cronies sizing the man occupying the bench up, the latter almost comically still asleep, dead to the world, utterly unaware of the danger he’s in. Like a cat taking a nap next to a pack of dogs. Edwin would laugh, but as it is, he fears his little slip of eye-contact might already be playing with fire.
"I wanted to invite you to my church's public picnic tomorrow. The whole congregation will be there, of course, and I just wanted to make sure you knew you had a special invitation to my table." She idly strokes his hand with one thumb, and Edwin feels extremely uncomfortable.
His mind races, trying to come up with some sort of excuse that she'll accept. Reflexively, his eyes are drawn back to the motorcycle, the man on the bench near it. "As it happens, I'm entertaining a friend this weekend, and I'm not sure I'll have the time."
"Well, invite him along! Everyone's welcome at the church, hmm, unless he's one of those , of course." She crinkles her nose and narrows her keen eyes, the most her face can manage anything approaching a true expression of laughter, not even aware that Edwin is not sharing her amusement at her joke.
In fact, this whole exchange is making him feel like he's 8 years old. A child, back home, listening to older family members talk about what is right, and more importantly, what is wrong with the world.
"Do consider it, Edwin, sweet thing. I'll be so sad if you don't come. You really should get out more, you know how people talk."
The people talking tend to mostly consist of Esther and her cronies. Edwin does not much care for their gossip. Does not much care for confrontation either, truly. That is how he reasons to himself, his reaction, staying silent in the end, wringing his hands as Esther Finch turns around, dismissing his existence entirely, and struts right up to her new target. The gaggle of middle-aged women part for her like lower ranked predators, giving their pack leader the first choice of prime cut flesh. They close the circle with poorly concealed excitement behind faux concerned frowns. One slender hand reaches out, a manicured finger taps, taps, taps the shoulder of that black leather jacket. Edwin quiets his own breathing, in order to hear the exchange he knows is coming.
The man, Thomas, Edwin’s mind supplies, stirs awake with an ease that belies the tension rapidly filling the air, and almost seems to take in the sight of a group of older women looming over him as a regularity. He raises his hands, gives a finger waggle that Edwin theorizes might be found charming by someone, somewhere , and makes no further move to get up, or even rearrange his limbs in a semblance of proper posture. "Now what can I do for you, ladies?" His voice is a low, rough sleepy sound, and has a wildly different effect on Edwin than it does the people he’s actually addressing.
"Oh, I do hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, as a long-standing member of the Homeowner’s association, and of course, you see, simply being involved in the protection of our community, I must tell you about some, hmm, concerns .” There’s the curl of red-painted lips, as cold eyes flick between the man on the bench, and the motorcycle parked perfectly legally nearby. “I assume you’re just passing through, of course, but I simply must ask, you understand. Do you have a license for that thing ?” Thomas smiles good-naturedly, charmingly, but Edwin knows restrained anger when he sees it. “I must ask you to keep that noisy machine out of residential streets, our children, you understand.” Esther’s gaze tracks over Thomas in barely concealed disgust, then flit to the cup of coffee, sitting innocently on the bench. “Littering, likewise, is not tolerated here.” One of the women of the group, perhaps sensing the opportunity to score peer approval, walks over briskly, snatching the coffee cup with a flourish. While Thomas, charming smile still on his face, but rage building in his eyes, offers a quick “That’s not even empty, honey,” the woman is already marching to the trash can and depositing it with unnecessary drama, “alright then.” is all that leaves Thomas’ mouth, tilting his head back to Esther as she is clearly not done just yet. “Furthermore, there’s been complaints of vagrants sleeping in a public area, I've come to tell you to move along." She motions sharply, waving her hand through the air in the direction of the bench and Thomas on it, like shooing an unwanted animal.
"Wasn't asleep, really. Just resting my eyes. And I'm not dangerous, just dangerously good-looking." Thomas smirks, but it fades when he sees it has no effect. He holds up one of his hands, starts ticking off fingers. "One: I have a license, of course. Two: I’m also parked perfectly legally. Three: littering implies something left behind, and I’m still right here aren’t I? And I'm not a vagrant, either. Just passing through, like you said."
"You really want get into semantics with me ? I have both the mayor and the police chief on speed dial, darling. This is private property, and you are not welcome here." Another shooing wave of her hand.
"Look honey," Thomas begins again, clearly exasperated. “Was I sleeping in a public area , or on private property now?”
"Darling, you call me honey one more time and we will have a problem."
Thomas takes a deep breath. Edwin wonders where he finds the strength to keep calm, attempting to keep a charming front. " Ma’am , I’m really just passing through. I got a coffee, paid for it , drank about half of it, and relaxed a bit on this public bench . I may have dozed off, but I'm not bothering anyone, not littering-"
He's cut off, when Esther turns sharply, and struts over to the motorcycle. Bending down to inspect every inch of its surface, her manicured, sharp nails sweeping ever closer over its glinting finish. Edwin can see her calculate how much it’d cost Thomas, if she were to call the town’s towing service, demand a full check-up at the most exclusive garage, under the guise of proper concern of the safety of the vehicle, around the children , of course. Edwin knows she has pretty much all the town’s official services on speed dial, considers it her civic duty to spring them on anyone and everyone that she deems threatens her world view. As it was, he can see Thomas coming to the same conclusion, tension lining every bit of his frame as he stands up from the bench, slowly. Approaches the woman circling his motorcycle, slowly.
If you asked him later, Edwin would not be able to say why he did it.
He finally stalks over, putting on the most pleasant expression he can muster. "Ah, Thomas! My friend, I do apologize for taking so long, I quite honestly forgot whether we agreed to meet inside or out, and I frankly hadn’t spotted you yet through this..crowd. Oh, Esther, I see you've met my friend!" He puts an awkward hand on Thomas's shoulder, clamping down hard as a warning.
"Your friend ?" Esther glances skeptically between them, taking a delicate step back.
Edwin feels Thomas shaking, still, with pent-up anger, but to his credit, he says nothing against the false claim. Edwin can feel his warm gaze on the side of his face, sees that charming smile widen in his peripheral.
"Why yes, you couldn't tell by the accent?" Thomas smiles broadly, swinging his own arm around Edwin’s shoulders in a much more natural, convincing display of camaraderie.
"Hm," Esther’s narrow gaze burns into them for a long while, the gaggle of women behind her far less subtle in their tittering. Finally, she sneers, "Edwin, darling, do tell your friend to get a haircut and some decent clothes." She turns on her heel, marching away like the palpable tension hadn’t reached a smothering point, offering a last “And do educate him on the community guidelines!” over her shoulder, as she leads her minions further down the street.
"Bitch," Thomas hisses under his breath, leaving Edwin’s side the moment the blonde is out of sight. When he looks back, his expression softens ever so slightly. "Real neat trick, that appearing out of nowhere, again, Ghostie."
"Edwin Payne." He holds out his hand, and Thomas shakes it with a real smile.
"Thomas King. But my friends call me--"
"The Cat King, yes I remember. You make quite an impression wherever you go, I must say."
Thomas smiles just a little wider, stretching out his arms above his head, shaking loose some more of the tension any confrontation with Esther naturally brings. "Figures, after the day I've had. Came all this way, just to find out that the entire Allcott family is vacationing overseas. That's what I get for dropping in unannounced, I suppose."
"Does that mean you're moving on?"
Thomas hesitates, looking up at the sky as if it might answer an unspoken question, looking like whatever it’s telling him makes him unhappy, but recovers quickly. "Well, I guess I'll have to. Better not tempt fate, get moving before someone calls in the presidential army to remove my bike." He laughs and moves to shake Edwin’s hand again. "Thanks for keeping me from getting into trouble. And sorry if I caused you any, I owe you one."
“You owe me nothing.”
Edwin watches, silently, as the other man turns. Bends over his motorcycle as if inspecting possible damage to it, caused by one Esther Finch’s sheer proximity, nodding to himself at the end of his inspection. One leg is thrown smoothly over the bike, one hand digs in his pocket for his keys, and Edwin, still standing there for reasons unknown to himself, watches him glance upwards again and again, confusion growing as fast as the frown creeping on Thomas’s face.
Then, the first droplet hits the very top of his head. Followed quickly by the next drip, drip, drip.
Edwin takes a deep breath, and sighs for what seems like the hundredth time today.
"Hells," he whispers to himself, knowing that no good will come from this, "Thomas," he calls out, and the other man, fiddling with his keys in his hands, shoots him another charming smile. He looks so tired , is what comes to Edwin’s mind, stays there. "Will you tell me something, honestly?"
"Sure, Ghostie. I owe you one after all." Thomas barely stifles a yawn.
"Do you have anywhere to go tonight?"
The hands fiddling with the keys pause. The answer is obvious, but he says it anyway. "Not really. Not such a big deal, though. You don’t have to worry about me, Edwin. Cats always land on their feet." He’s shot a cheeky wink, the effect of which is utterly ruined by the rain dropping down on them, making the Cat King resemble more of a wet kitten.
Edwin frowns, feels a surge of anger within himself. "Well. That simply won't do. Follow my car, you can stay with me until you're sorted."
Thomas blinks at him. "I… no, I can't do that. That's… I wouldn't wanna put you out, it's too much to ask-"
Edwin waves his hand dismissively in the air. "I have plenty of room. And besides, what are friends for?"
Thomas still looks completely taken aback, but he settles back onto his motorcycle, gives a lopsided grin. "Alright then, ghostie. Lead the way."
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"Interview with the Vampire" bitching, and what? Spoilers ahead.
The only good things about this week's episode of "Interview with the Vampire" was making it so Madeline saw Claudia as a sister figure and friend, which is much better than having Claudia go with a woman who basically would see her as a child and daughter forever because she didn't want that. I never quite got that in the books and if someone has some idea of wtf that was about I'd love to know. For real. Though I don't see it for Madeline as a character. Is the idea that she's suited to be a vampire because she'd do whatever it takes to survive including fuck Nazis? So like... Claudia killed anti-Nazis...? And one of those anti-Nazis was a woman who was totally cool with the men she hangs out with raping a woman? Alright. (shrug) The other good thing was Lestat finally coming back so the show will be less BORING?? Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if they wrote this show thinking it'd only have 2 seasons so instead of setting up a bunch of Vampire Chronicles stuff that would be so intriguing as to pique interest enough for a season 3 and on they just made this one story much longer and worse. And they didn't have to do and the way they did it is very bizarre. Things DRAG, WHY TO THINGS DRAG?! Why is it sometimes difficult to verbalize what HAPPENED in an episode because it can be summarized in a few words and everything else was just justification for the budget and extras. They had so much extra time to flesh so much out and just... didn't? I have a really hard time staying off my phone through most of these episodes. I looked up when Raglan James showed up again because I like the actor but was confused as to why it wasn't David. It has me assuming they're going to do something where they give Daniel David's body switch body story perhaps? Not entirely happy with that but at least a body switch means I don't have to see that TERRIBLE young Daniel stage ass actor again. He was bad. Armand and Louis are so boring, holy shit. And it wasn't that they weren't also boring in the book but at least I didn't have to sit through hours of it. I'm not even here for them fucking because I bet that's boring too! Fade to black, fine, whatever, otherwise I'd fall the fuck asleep. I just wish I recognized these characters so that even if the story was a bit different it didn't feel so utterly foreign. I don't recognize Armand, Louis, or Daniel and that's pretty bad. These characters are those characters, really, in name only. Instead of using all of the books to flesh out the existing characters they're just making shit up and having these characters do shit they wouldn't do.
I also wish a lot of the changes didn't feel so "edgy" for the sake of it. We don't need things to be gritty just for the fuck of it and in bizarre places. It actually IS more interesting that Armand drives Daniel to alcoholism (they could even have made it drug use) and madness than to have him just be a drug addict with no explanation that might give us some insight into the character. And it's also more interesting to have him do it over the course of YEARS rather than a few nights that didn't actually contribute to Daniel's drug problem and didn't seem to change whom he'd become in any meaningful way other than Daniel going "wtf was that about?" years later and not really remember. So far they seem to be continuously kicking Daniel's characterization can down to who knows when because all that Louis and Armand have been doing is using Daniel's nebulous problems against Daniel either to talk shit to him or make fun of him for it. Daniel isn't forthcoming about the whys of his life and the show doesn't seem concerned with exploring that in any meaningful way that justifies 2 seasons of it. They're dragging their feet in every possible way and it doesn't justify the time spent. What is the function of Daniel being a "gay for pay" drug addict when in the books he was a pretty run of the mill, queer writer who was hot enough to get Louis attention? If he's going to be this fucked up why does he even WANT to be a vampire? How will that solve the problems he has, what ARE the problems he has? At least in the book Daniel was mundane and bored and that contributed to him seeing vampires as fascinating and wanted to be one of them. This Daniel characterization seems more like book Louis in that he's lived as long as he has in SPITE of himself or something? I'd love an explanation if I FULLY missed something but like... the fuck? This is such a weird product all around, I'm so confused, and I really don't want to hear it from anyone about why I'm watching it, mind your own fucking business is why. I really wish they'd set up ALL of the deeply fascinating things Vampire Chronicles has in store instead of teasing JUST Raglan James? Did I miss any mention of "those whom must be kept?" I feel like there was some little throwaway thing? Don't remember now. I don't know, stuff like this is why I think they're writing this show thinking they'd just get to finish "Interview" at best and that's just a weird way to have to do things. I don't even necessarily blame the writers entirely on that account because we know how these networks do things these days and it's in the most asinine way possible that makes it VERY difficult for ANY show to set up several season's worth of content for fear they'll be cancelled after 1 or 2 without getting the opportunity. But it really could have been done just a LITTLE better because they CERTAINLY had the time to do it.
#interview with the vampire#amc's interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire spoilers#spoilers
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Incorrect Quotes Tag Game: Ships Edition (Round 2)
Thank you for the tag, @kahvilahuhut. I'm amused that this one came back to me in only two steps of tag transfer.
Rules: use this generator to make some incorrect ship-related quotes.
Unfortunately, I'm out of canon ships after last time. So instead we get an extra layer of incorrectness as I pull from the non-canon alternate timeline where Eris and Lacuna avoided ever learning about the existence of the supernatural, wound up meeting anyway, and became a couple instead of (or perhaps in addition to) best friends. Notably, the canon versions of Eris and Lacuna would be just about as put off to find that there's a version of them that's a couple as this version would be to find out about a timeline where they're not.
(Incorrect quotes under "Keep reading" line for swearing and lewd humor.)
Lacuna: I'm trash. Eris: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Lacuna: Lacuna: You smooth motherfucker. Lacuna: And yes it does.
Lacuna: So you like cats? Eris: Yeah. Lacuna: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*
Eris: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Lacuna! Lacuna: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
Lacuna: What are you in the mood for? Eris: World domination. Lacuna: That's a bit ambitious. Eris: You are my world. Lacuna: Aww... Eris: Lacuna: Eris: Lacuna: OH.
Lacuna: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Eris: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
Lacuna: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Eris: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Lacuna: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Eris: Is it working?
Eris: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Lacuna: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.
Eris: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Lacuna: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.
Okay, I lied, I found a couple I hadn't seen before that fit Sullivan and Carnette:
Carnette: We’re getting married, bitches! Sullivan: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.
Carnette: BE A BETTER PERSON! Sullivan: WHY?! Carnette: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
#character tag game#writing tag games#incorrect quotes tag#incorrect quotes#oc ship#empty names#tag game#writers on tumblr#writeblr
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fuck it im posting it. 2 different dancing occasions :3
I guess some context helps: Luis was a dumb bitch that got pregnant with Ethan's mold baby and hid it for months because he's a self destructive mess. after getting back from a yearly Valdelobos trip to visit Leon's grave, he finally had to tell him and was having a very bad time because the trip was definitely too much for the state he was in. ofc Ethan jumped right into overprotective mode worrying about Luis and taking care of him. and most important is that Ethan proposed and they decided to have the wedding a few months after the baby was born!
It's the hardest thing Luis has ever done, handing Rosa to Claire. But he manages to without shedding a tear, because it's for something he's been looking forward to for a long time: his “first dance” with Ethan. Ethan looks uneasy at the sight of someone else taking his baby, but he stuffs his paranoia down and smiles as Luis pulls him to the dance floor, because he has a promise to keep.
“So, Dr. Winters,” Luis teases. “Can you perhaps lift your bed rest order? I've been back a couple weeks, scans of the baby look fine, my bruises from the trip are gone. I need to move around, I'm going crazy.”
“Is that really what you think, I've been ordering you to rest all the time?” Ethan looks just a little bit horrified by the thought that Luis thinks he's controlling. “It wasn't like that, I just offered to bring you things and carry you around because it seemed like you needed it. I wouldn't have stopped you if you started getting out of bed and walking around on your own.”
“I'm just teasing, I know you weren't really forbidding me from anything. And I did need the extra help. Really, I was in rough shape. But now that I'm feeling a bit better, I'd like to get on my own two feet again.”
“As long as you're feeling up to it,” Ethan says, helping Luis up from the couch. “You just want to walk around outside for a while?”
“No. Put some music on, I want to dance with you, mi amor,” Ethan shoots him a skeptical look. “Nothing strenuous! Just some slow dancing so I can get my feet moving and think about how in love with you I am.”
“Okay,” Ethan agrees hesitantly, walking over to the stereo to get a CD playing before coming back to Luis. “But you've got a history of not accepting your limits and pushing yourself too hard, so you have to promise me you'll take it really easy and listen to your body when it's telling you to stop.”
Figuring out the logistics of dancing is harder than it should be. Ethan can't stand behind Luis and wrap his arms around the front of his waist to sway together because the fact Luis is taller makes it awkward. Eventually they end up facing each other, Luis's arms resting on Ethan's shoulders, Ethan's hands on the sides of Luis's waist. Occasionally his hands wander down to fondle Luis's hips, a pleasant surprise– after the night he accidentally left scratches on his hip, Luis expected him to be too nervous to go anywhere near his hips.
While they make it work, the dancing still isn't ideal. Luis can't get closer like he wants to, can't lean in for a kiss because his damn back hurts all the time and especially hates when he dares to bend it even slightly. He also feels a little bit awkward that he's dancing wearing only his underwear and one of Ethan's shirts.
But at least he's touching Ethan and Ethan's touching him and Ethan's looking at him like he's the most important person in the universe.
“God, I hate this. I danced with my first boyfriend a lot. We got fancy with it. Fast, lots of twirling and spinning, dipping…” Luis trails off. “Can't do any of that shit now. I can't even press my body all the way against yours.”
“Just a few months. Just a few months and we'll have our princess here and you'll be healed up and able to do everything again,” Ethan reassures. One of his hands leaves his waist to touch Luis's “necklace”– the engagement ring currently on a necklace chain because Luis can't wear it on his finger yet. “You'll be my husband in a few months. And you'll be able to dance however you want at our wedding. I can't promise I'll be able to keep up with the fancy stuff you can do, but I can promise I'll try my best to.”
True to his word, Ethan can't match Luis's grace and speed, but does his best, letting Luis drag him across the makeshift dance floor and twirl him around. Luis is even tipsy enough to dip Ethan with no fear of dropping him, and bite his neck like they don't have an audience.
“Okay, that's enough,” Ethan states when Luis pulls him back to his feet. “I know you're mostly healed, but supporting my weight like that is too much, you're going to hurt yourself.”
Ethan's words get Luis misty eyed. So similar to something Leon once said to him. But for once being reminded of Leon doesn't fill Luis with despair. There was a time when his attraction to Ethan was primarily based on his similarities to Leon, like he was just an inferior substitute to his dead lover. But that changed, and he grew to love Ethan for he really was. His marriage to Ethan won't be anything like being married to Leon would have been, and that's okay. Ethan isn't Leon, but he's the only other person Luis has ever been so head over heels for.
“Hey, was that too much?” Ethan asks, concerned about the tears gathering in Luis's eyes. “Do you need to go inside and lay down?”
“No, I'm okay,” Not wanting to spoil the mood, Luis gives Ethan a reassuring smile. “Just happy tears.”
“Okay. Good,” It's Ethan's turn to drag his new husband away from the dance area back towards Claire. “Rose still needs her fathers-daughter dance. It'll be slow with her, so you won't be pushing yourself.”
Rosa smiles and starts reaching her hands out when she sees her dads walking towards her. No matter how many times it happens, Luis's heart always melts when she smiles at him. Claire compliments their dancing while Luis gets the baby carrier back on, then Claire hands Rosa over, both smiling.
The newlyweds start dancing again, now with their baby in the mix. Sandwiched between her two fathers, swaying with Luis's gentle motions, Rosa is quite content with her current situation.
wrote like a thousand words of Winterserra dancing hell yeah
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This Sunday is the second fireworks show to take place this year, and you’re all invited to spend it on my island, Clover Bay!
Now, this is one of a couple of fireworks parties that are being held by this group chat and discord server community, and it will primarily cater to those of us in the UK, Europe, and surrounding areas, but people from all over are more than welcome to join in and celebrate with us if they’d like to.
I can think of no better way for us all to have a fun time than to lay out a set of harsh, demanding, and gruelling rules for everybody to follow, so I hope everyone reads them and agrees to flawlessly obey in fear of great and terrible retribution.
Just kidding, but please do heed these guidelines:
This is a pyjama party, so please come wearing something you’d sleep in! (obviously I’m not evil, so we can wear our boppers from Isabelle if we want to)
Please bring something for the gift exchange! Whether you crafted or bought it, no matter if it’s really cheap or really expensive, I’d appreciate it if everyone could bring a gift-wrapped item to include on the table of party bags for people to choose from to take home as they decide to leave the party. I will be providing a lot of these gifts myself, but I don’t know how many people will come and I only have so much room in my house to store backup presents.
When the Dodo code goes live, it will be revealed to members of the Group Chat and Discord server only! Please only share this code with people you trust will behave decently; I recently had an incident in which some very valuable items were stolen from my island and I do not want a repeat of that.
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Guidelines over with, I’m just going to go over a few features the event will have, and lay out a brief overview of what you can expect from the visit!
The gates will open at 18:30 (for early-birds, those who might not be able to make it otherwise, and those who want to catalogue and collect DIY recipes before the fireworks start) and stay open until midnight (at which point, if anyone is still here, you’re getting booted from the island because I’ll need to sleep). I may not be around for the entirety of this time, but I will be sure to let you know when I’m afk.
There will be several attractions around the island and games for you to enjoy! So far, we have the, Spinning Wheel Raffle (otherwise known as the ‘Dig-a-Gift 5000′), Picture Perfect Prizefest, and the Scavenger Hunt. Details on all of these features will be coming very soon.
I have, as we all do, 8 slots for custom fireworks. If anyone interested in coming has a specific design they want me to feature in this lineup, please relay to me the custom design code and I will be sure to include it in the lineup on a first come, first served basis.
There is no itinerary for the event, other than the opening and close times. People, obviously, can stay for as long or as little as they’d like and participate in whatever games and competitions they want to (I trust y’all to be honest and honour the rules for the individual games). The only game that needs my specific input is the Scavenger Hunt, so please seek me out if you want to play that particular game because I’ll need to hide the items on a case by case basis (there are big prizes involved with this, hence the need for such pretentiousness and mystique).
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That’s about it, friends! I will be making posts for each of the attractions and games, and linking them to this post over the course of this evening and tomorrow, so please keep a look out and be sure to read them before popping over to Clover Bay for the Fireworks Party. I really think this can be a fantastic time for us all, and I hope to see you there!
#Did I make a sideblog just so I could make this post and not have it be seen by people who aren't supposed to?#perhaps but i'm a very extra bitch so i feel like it's fine#am i also trying too hard to impress this whole ass discord server and group chat with my party hosting skills?#also yes but in my defence I have really missed little kid birthday parties#and this feels like the perfect opportunity to recreate one#specifically those of you from England and maybe all of Britain will know what i'm going for#you know those parties you have when you're in primary school where everyone comes to your house#and your parents put out trays of sausage rolls and mini triangle sandwiches and those toothpicks that have cheese cubes and pickled onion#bowls of crisps that you have no idea what the flavour is until you get brave and try and then oh no gross that's cheese and onion glavour#(not to be confused with the cheese cube and pickled onion toothpicks which are delicious#the party games too! pass the parcel and pin the tail on the donkey and musical statues and musical bumps and simon says#and the cake oh my god the shitty shop bought cake with the awful fondant that everyone gets a cube of in their party bag#and it's wrapped in kitchen paper and somehow the bottle of bubble mix the kid's mum puts in there spills on the cake#so you can't eat it anyway but the mini pack of parma violets is fine and you got a shitty plastic party favour so it's all good#that's the kind of party i want#SO THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING!!#lmao i think i only have one confirmed attendee so far so i may have greatly over-prepared and planned for this this could be a flop#but fuck it i'll be listening to s-club 7 and ordering pizza so even if no one comes i'll still have a fantastic time#also do u like my banner for this i literally took a screenshot from last week's fireworks and screenshot it to MS paint and added some text#i spent 20 minutes on that and it looks crap#so mad respect to me for my amazing graphic design skills i take cash and credit for commissions i expect my inbox to be full soon
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Okay, I'm rereading Feral and it mentioned that since scowling is Kit's go to expression Tenya had to learn what each one meant. So what if he could do the same to Katsuki when he got to UA and just used it to mess with him?
Some Feral content
These headcanons belong to this story
Expect typos, as per the usual my homebody's.
-Tenya truly didn't mean to do it at first. It was on reflex that he recognized what Katsuki was hiding behind his scowl. He and Kit were related after all. They were terrifyingly similar, yet entirely different at the same time. Their expressions were close enough to one another that Tenya was able to pick apart Bakugo's expressions without much thought
-Katsuki Bakugo prides himself on his ability to hide his emotions, no matter how unhealthy his method of masking with anger may be. Even Deku finds it hard to discern him at times. So why in fucks name was fucking Emergency Exit able to know what the was feeling?
-The first time was after their very first training exercise. The one they'd lost. Horribly. Shitty Deku had somehow managed to spawn himself a fucking quirk. Katsuki hadn't wanted to be paired with RoboCop, and Tenya wasn't jumping with joy at the thought either. But it happened nonetheless. They came, they participated, and they failed miserably.
-Katsuki was reasonably upset. His frustration, confusion, and disappointment in himself portrayed outwardly as piping hot rage that made all his new classmates take a minor step back for fear of losing a limb. Tenya hadn't seen it that way, though. One look at Katsuki's face told him that the explosive teen wasn't truly mad. He was scared.
-Tenya assured him offhandedly that there was nothing to be afraid of! That though it was intimidating to have such skilled classmates, that only illustrated how hard they'd have to work to keep up. Katsuki nearly combusted on the spot. Tenya was already walking away before he could say shit.
-But how had he known?
-It kept happening. In their study period he blew up, shrieking at all the extras to shut the fuck up and that they were idiots. And fucking Engine Legs had simply looked up, looked at him, and then claimed that it was fine to listen to music during this period if he was having trouble focusing. That he wouldn't be reprimanded, as Present Mic had heartily given them permission to use their phones. How the fuck had he gotten distraction from his fit of curses? How'd he know that shit?
-Izuku was actually the first to connect the dots and realize Tenya's hidden talent. Despite having grown up with him, even Izuku struggled to pick apart what Kacchan's different expressions meant. Kit has been a way for Tenya to ease into the field and master it quickly. This was a unique ability nobody else had. One that would be fun to fuck around with.
-Yeah, it took a little manipulation on Izuku'd part. Not anything bad! Tenya was just uptight and hesitant. Izuku wasn't a genius for nothing, though. He got his friend on board and a part of the scheme in no time.
-Katsuki was a private person. So when Emergency Exit started fucking about and calling out every little thing he was feeling, he was fucking pissed.
-The offhanded "I too thought Kirishima's display was impressive" and the mild "Jealousy isn't a good trait for a hero to have!" made Katsuki vibrate with absolute, unbridled rage. How did he know?! How the fuck was he doing this?! Even Katsuki's own mother wasn't as good at deciphering him as this fucker was.
-Izuku became quick friends with Round Face and the Icyhot fuck. Katsuki felt sour about this, admittedly. It felt weird not to have the nerd trailing him. It was like something was... missing. Which was shit seeing as he'd gone to a different middle school their last year, but this was different! It... It fucking hurt.
-And of course engine fucker knew this. Why the fuck wouldn't he?!
-For weeks, Katsuki was driven insane. Fucking batshit. People started calling RoboCop the "Bakugo Whisperer" as though he were some sort of animal. Which sure, he acted like one sometimes, but fuck off! It didn't make any sense. How was it possible?! They weren't friends. They didn't know shit about one another. So how the fuck?!
-Answers came on a Saturday night when his shit ass cousin was scheduled to have his shitty boyfriend over to converse more with the hag and his dad. Katsuki was forced to comply and come down to participate in the dinner. He was instructed to be on his best behavior. He could hardly keep himself from jumping at Kit's throat as the bitch grinned slickly at him. His parents had already met Kit's bitch, so why did this matter so much??
-He wasn't super sure what he expected. Some delinquent a few years older than Kit. Maybe some tattoos and the tell tale smell of smoke most cigarette addicts carried. A leather jacket and ratty jeans. Piercings and gaudy jewelry, perhaps.
-The last thing he thought he'd be seeing as Tenya fucking Iida walking through the door, smiling politely and giving his greetings to the hag and his dad. Everything crashed down around him. Light shone down on a million realizations he hadn't seen before. Katsuki could only do one thing. The thing he did best.
-He blew the fuck up
#fanfic#bnha#mha#my hero academia#iida x oc#bnha iida#boku no hero academia tenya#tenyaiida#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugo#bnha deku
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I just read your thing about paladins and what they're for and holy CRAP does it sum up some stuff that I've been trying to explain for ages, so thank you for that! But now I'm wondering: your footnote mentioned Fjord and Vax'ildan, who both multiclassed into paladin as part of their personal character arc. Would you mind sharing your Thoughts about them? (And if you have any about the other paladins and how they fit in this - Arkhan or Kima or Kerrek or the rest - that would be awesome to see.)
You know I’m ALWAYS ready for a good CR character breakdown :D And for shitting on classic Old School conceptions of what paladins should be, because a quick stroll through the tags has reminded me that, while many people play them very very well, the people who talk about How You’re Supposed To Play Paladins are often wrong as hell. (This includes everybody who wrote 3rd edition d&d.)
I kind of want to start by talking about Kima and Kerrek, rather than Vax and Fjord, because Kima and Kerrek are in many ways two different angles on exactly what I think a paladin character should be. Starting with the premise here that the paladin at its core is about turning ideals into actions, Kima and Kerrek are both awesome at exemplifying the class.
Kima is such a straightforward, action-oriented person. Her belief in Bahamut and her belief in justice are inextricably entwined; she follows her god because she’s sure he’s right about what’s Good and Correct to see done in the world. The ideals –> action pathway is easy and natural for her, because the necessity of taking action in pursuit of her ideals is very clearly one of her ideals. She’s not in conflict with her vows, because she doesn’t need to be. There’s evil in the world, and Bahamut wants her to smite it in the balls, and that’s both effective and fun. (Of note, Kima doesn’t feel personally responsible for destroying every single minor evil ever to exist ever. There’s plenty to go around. Smite the monster in front of you, trust Bahamut to point you towards the thing that really needs killing, and don’t kill yourself over the petty grift of the guy in your favorite bar at the end of the day because yikes, dude, just yikes–that’s how Kima functions as a character, and it’s what makes her an actually functional character.)
Kerrek on the other hand is fascinating because he’s a paladin who thinks he’s lost his ideals, at least at the start. At some unknown time in the past he tried to turn faith and belief (in something, and we never do find out what, and it doesn’t even matter) into change in the world. He got some things done. He utterly failed at some other things. And now he’s sitting here in Westruun feeling like, maybe he can’t, maybe he shouldn’t, maybe everything is a thousand times more complicated and he’s a thousand times tinier in the universe than he ever envisioned when he was younger. He’s sitting there thinking he’s lost his ideals and his drive and his faith–and meanwhile he’s still standing there taking action, doing what he can for the people of Westruun, planting his garden, being angry and disappointed and frustrated and still trying anyway. In spite of himself, Kerrek still believes. In spite of himself Kerrek still does the things he thinks need to be done, even if they’re not the things he wants to be doing, even if he doesn’t think he’ll do any good in the long run. Such a good paladin thing to do.
Then we get to Fjord and Vax. And so much of what makes Fjord and Vax interesting as paladins is, the ideals that compel them to action, compel them to take these paladin oaths, aren’t the ideals of their respective goddesses.
Vax did not wake up one day and say, ‘I believe in the Raven Queen and I believe that what she says is just and right and I will follow her because I believe in her so much’. (He almost, almost got to that point with Sarenrae, circa the Briarwoods arc, and somewhere there is an alternate universe where he did and it is so interesting, but I digress.) And Fjord didn’t really sit down and learn his way through the teachings of the Wildmother and decide, ‘y’know, yes, this is what I love and trust and want to spread in the world’. That’s not the ideal that drove either of them to action.
Fuck, Vax didn’t even like the Raven Queen when he became hers. “Take me instead, you raven bitch.” Why does Vax become a paladin of the Raven Queen? Because he promised. Because he traded himself for his sister. He believes to the depths of his soul in keeping Vex alive, and he believes in keeping his word. The ideal driving Vax to action isn’t worship or admiration. It’s the ideal of following through on his own goddamn commitments.
For Fjord, it’s similar, although a lot less fraught. He doesn’t dislike Melora, certainly–everything he knows of her seems fine, but mostly he turns to her because he’s desperate for help and she seems willing to give it. Fjord’s not great at big lofty ideals, but he is good at people, in his own way. Turning to the Wildmother is about grabbing at the kindness she’s shown him. It’s about grabbing at the kindness Caduceus has shown him. These are the things he trusts.
And yet, Vax isn’t just a paladin to the oath of Keep Vex Alive. Fjord isn’t just a paladin of Not U’kotoa. They both have ideals, and they’re both doing their utmost to follow them here anyway.
For Fjord, being a paladin seems very transactional, yes (free me from this sea serpent and I’ll be your guy, sure), but there’s an enormous ethic of devotion and loyalty involved, coupled with, just like Kima had, a belief in the requirement for action. Fjord believes that it is correct to repay kindness with deeds. He doesn’t entirely understand what Melora wants of him, but she was kind to him in a vast wasteland where he slept unbroken sleep beneath her tree, and she has saved him when he wasn’t entirely sure he could be saved, and of course you repay that in kind. At this point in the narrative, that intense loyalty is the driving ideal behind Fjord’s path as a paladin, and it’s really cool to see.
Vax could have run, when the Raven Queen came for him, and instead he went to Vasselheim. He could have done a lot of things a lot of times. The fact that he offered himself up in a fit of terror isn’t what made him a paladin–the fact that he followed through after that moment was over did.
Another really interesting thing about these paths is that perhaps the most major action our boys are compelled to take, in response to that loyalty, is simply, learn what the fuck you signed up for. Having pledged themselves to these goddesses they are now responsible for figuring out what that even means. There is no easy handbook for “this is what your goddess requires of you, break it and you’re Out On Your Ass”. The Raven Queen asks Vax for extremely little, in the grand scheme of things. He spends a lot of time fighting enemies he would have fought anyway with a little extra backup, and muddling along looking to Vasselheim and old books to figure out what she might want out of him. Fjord’s still taking Caduceus-lessons and trying to figure out what comes next.
In the end it’s hard to even tell whether Vax comes to truly embrace her ideals of fate and finality as his own, or he just submits to them as part of who he thinks he has to be now. That open question is super interesting to me, and I think it’s a really cool twist on the whole classic “paladins take these vows and then HAVE TO STICK TO THEM no matter WHAT” dynamic, where the big vow Vax made is, in fact, to be a paladin. (Even the Oath of Vengeance is fascinating for him–the Raven Queen didn’t ask that path of him, Vax chose it. He decided that was the right way for him to serve.)
I’m so curious to see where Fjord goes from here on his paladin journey. Which of Melora’s ideals is he going to work to enact out of loyalty to her, because that’s the job he promised to do? Which ideals will he actually understand and agree with in his own heart? What oath is he going to take, I’m so fucking curious: Oath of Heroism makes a certain amount of sense but is also kind of self-aggrandizing, Devotion would be awesome for Fjord but also includes that absolute injunction towards honesty, I’m eternally a sucker for the Oath of Ancients and it would make sense for Melora but I’m not sure it’s correct here…
Anyway. Tl;dr that Vax and Fjord are not, entirely, paladins to the ideals and domains of their respective goddesses–not yet. They’re both paladins to the ideal of loyalty, which they’ve given to their respective goddesses, and that’s such an interesting option for the class. It invites so much discussion about the difference between devotion to a deity as an individual, and devotion to what that deity actually stands for. And I fucking love it.
#acelania#critical role#driveby meta attack#paladins#dnd paladin#fucking paladins man#I've got some feelings about this character class#one of these days I'm going to get to play one as something other than the DM#love my NPC paladins so much at least
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blue, navy blue, i'm as blue as i can be, cause my steady boy said "all of them", one hundred something questiiiions
1: How tall or short do you wish you were?I’d take a couple more inches but like this is fine2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)It would be so cool to have a snake…but a dog is also really good…3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?cool jackets are cool…for myself I like target man tshirts4: What was your favorite video game growing up?I had these Magic School Bus computer games that were truly excellent. there was one about whales and dolphins and one about rainforest animals5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:idk…the Majority of my thoughts are either very self-centered or just the song that it’s time to have in my head6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?fuck idk. warning: occasional stupid bitch 7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?hmm! vague8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]I got sanguine on a quiz I took once and I like that because I like blood9: Are you ticklish?yeah, not Extremely tho10: Are you allergic to anything?guinea pigs, cats, pollen11: What’s your sexuality?i’m Gay12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?Tea13: Are you a cat or dog person?they are both good and i really like both…i’ll say dogs because i’ve been seeing a lot of very good ones lately + the cat allergy14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?VAMPIRE15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?I watch beckiejbrown a lot and I think she’s cool16: How tall are you?5'7"17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?Benjamin..perhaps…but there’s too many bens so I guess I’ll just have to be Larl18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]between 144 and 150 pounds19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?eh…nah20: Do you like space or the ocean more?The ocean..has more animals in it21: Are you religious?non22: Pet peeves?when people call frogs venomous or spiders poisonous23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?diurnal…i like Sunshine24: Favorite constellation?i like cassiopeia she’s spiky25: Favorite star?uhhhh I don’t have one26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?i think they are..flexible?27: Any phobias or fears?MIRRORS IN THE DARK MIRRORS IN THE DARK scary. 28: Do you think global warming is real?yeah lol29: Do you believe in reincarnation?not really30: Favorite movie?hmmm. i liked inglorious basterds a lot but i’m mostly saying that because i can’t think of any movies that have made an especially big impression on me at the moment31: Do you get scared easily?..yes i’m sensitive32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?1 frog 2 tortoises 4 guinea pigs & a lot of fish33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]8/10 content is great but posting frequency is too spread out34: What is a color that calms you?green like my room at home35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?I want to go to like..australia. or some other place with cool and weird animals!36: Where were you born?atlanta :P37: What is your eye color?brown38: Introvert or extrovert?IntroVert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?not really but i like to read things about them anyway40: Hugs or kisses?WHY not both41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?clarissa…so far away…an entire TIMEZONE42: Who is someone you love deeply?Antonie Hvan Leeuwenhoek43: Any piercings you want?maybe something extra on my ear?44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?they’re cool45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?i neiver have done so46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!sexy. very shapely calves. extremely good at calculus and physics and programming. 47: What is a sound you really hate?when my shoe scrapes on the sidewalk48: A sound you really love?the echoes from the main staircase in the mlc49: Can you do a backflip?no :(50: Can you do the splits?no51: Favorite actor and/or actress?i like..karla souza52: Favorite movie?this has been asked previously and i still don’t have a good answer. 53: How are you feeling right now?cool! kind of tired54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?uhh this color’s good55: When did you feel happiest?jeez idk that’s pretty hard to answer56: Something that calms you down?my green chair in my room at home57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]i do not58: What does your URL mean?it’s vaguely homestucky59: What three words describe you the most?cool. sexy. innovative.60: Do you believe in evolution?hell yeah61: What makes you unfollow a blog?content that i don’t like or no content for a long time62: What makes you follow a blog?content that i like63: Favorite kind of person:cool person64: Favorite animal(s):guinea pigs. orcas. cane toads. naked mole rats.65: Name three of your favorite blogs.teensplop.blogspot.com is my ultimate favorite blog ever. my favorite tumblrs are of like random people who i follow and i would feel weird @ing them66: Favorite emoticon:girl with carrots67: Favorite meme:bode was pretty good68: What is your MBTI personality type?i think i got infp when i took it69: What is your star sign?capricorn70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?i don’t have a dog :(71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?dark gray vneck from target and my Excellent jeans72: Post a selfie or two?i’ll do that..later73: Do you have platform shoes?no i’m tall74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?my blood type is A positive75: Can you do a front flip?into a pool or on a trampoline76: Do you like birds?hell yeah! i wanted to be an ornithologist in 6th grade and if that ended up being my life i would be satisfied and happy77: Do you like to swim?Yeah Put Me In The Water78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?hmm. i guess swimming? ice skating is very fun though. and it has to be the correct context of swimming like the water is clean and i can swoop around in it79: Something you wish didn’t exist:*****es80: Some thing you wish did exist:my huge future muscles81: Piercings you have?one in each earlobe82: Something you really enjoy doing:dancing in a loud bar83: Favorite person to talk to:different people have different good talking qualities but there is a special kind of conversation i can only hold with my sister84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?this sure is The Place For Fanart85: How many followers do you have?15086: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?hmm…i feel like yes but i would be very tired after87: Do your socks always match?almost always yes88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?i used to be able to but no longer89: What are your birthstones?i think turquoise?90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?something sneaky and timid and nocturnal91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?it has 5 smooth white petals and a smooth green stem and i was so into it for like some time in second grade92: A store you hate?urban outfitters93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?ideally zero94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?fly95: Do you like to wear camo?not particularly96: Winter or summer?summer for sure..i like Sunlight97: How long can you hold your breath for?i don’t feel like testing this rn98: Least favorite person?let’s say johnny rives99: Someone you look up to:my veterinarian cousin is cool100: A store you love?binders is pretty cool101: Favorite type of shoespumas 102: Where do you live?in a College Town103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?no i love MEAT104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?star sapphires are pretty cool?105: Do you drink milk?on occasion106: Do you like bugs?yeah :)107: Do you like spiders?yeah :)108: Something you get paranoid about?people thinking i shouldn’t be in a place109: Can you draw:yeah i think so110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?nothing comes to mind111: A question you hate being asked?what kind of music do you like?112: Ever been bitten by a spider?maybe…i had this huge itchy leg bump the past few days that i think might have been from that113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?yah it’s nice114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?mmm sunny115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:Antonie Hvan Leeuwenhoek116: Favorite cloud type:Ummm ones that are interestingly shaped! not just stratus. everything else is cool117: What color do you wish the sky was?blue is good118: Do you have freckles?yah119: Favorite thing about a person:do people like actually have an answer to this in mind120: Fruits or vegetables?VEGETABLES121: Something you want to do right now:eat dessert122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?mmm sky!123: Sweet or sour foods?sweet…124: Bright or dim lights?uhh depends on the mood125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?…no?126: Something you hate about Tumblr:some of the discussions on here happen in really weird and negative ways but i’m pretty much never involved so whatever127: Something you love about Tumblr:lots of nice content128: What do you think about the least?i don’t fucking know since i’m not thinking about it129: What would you want written on your tombstone?something about science contributions maybe130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?i’m not in a really violent mood rn131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?nothing comes to mind132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?yeah133: Computer or TV?computer IS tv134: Do you like roller coasters?yeah :D135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?sometimes…not recently136: Are your ears lobed or attached?lobed137: Do you believe in karma?eh138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?this really varies but like in the middle somewhere. not a 1 and not a 10 for sure139: What nicknames do you have/have had?sarah calls me em…that’s it140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?hmm sarah and i had an imaginary little sister named lucille and an imaginary dog named ruby141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?non142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?i try to be a good influence?143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?i like…giving ;)144: What makes you angryjohnny rives145: How many languages do you speak fluently?One146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?i’m a lesbian147: Are you androgynous?hmm i think i’ve reached that somewhat148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:i like..my feet149: Favorite thing about your personality:i try to…be nice150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.julia clarissa sarah151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?i’m good staying here thank u152: Do you like BuzzFeed?it can be entertaining but i don’t think it’s good153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]introduced by a mutual friend is the most basic explanation154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?yeah!155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?yah156: What embarrasses you?being in the gym157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:the gym158: Biggest lie you have ever told:i can’t say it here…it’s illegal159: How many people are you following?130160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?4,507161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?2162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?27,596 wow163: Last time you cried and why:thursday night and i have no Fucking clue164: Do you have long or short hair?short165: Longest your hair has ever been:i think it got past my boobs in the first semester of 9th grade166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?i don’t really have any religious affiliations at all so. neutral167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?..yes? like i think it’s cool and stuff168: Do you like to wear makeup?Not like, regularly, but I like doing my 3am editorial looks169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?No170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?mostly. i didn’t think Too Deeply
@shovelthefries
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Question! I noticed - maybe I'm wrong - that in all the adaptations, the casting for the main characters is similar: Darcy is dark haired, and so is Lizzie; Jane is blonde and (for some fascinating reason) Bingley is ginger-y. Is there a reason? something in the books that I missed? Some extra source? It seemed too much a coincidence (although I do love Ginger Bingley) thanks!!!
First off, I’m going to refer back to Mullan’s What Matters in Jane Austen? again, because he’s done a whole chapter on what her characters look like (and starts off with a basic examination of casting choices in adaptations and the admiration or outrage which always follows.) “How people look is often suggested rather than specified in Austen’s novels.” He then goes on to quote Sterne’s Tristram Shandy, “…paint her to your own mind–as like your mistress as you can–as unlike your wife as your conscience will let you.”
All we know of Jane is that she is considered very beautiful–as much is said by Bingley, her mother (who has no difficulty criticizing her children when they displease her,) and even Darcy must admit it as a fact. Looks are important in novels where often penniless girls must rely on other attractions in their manners and person–”…words used so frequently about characters when we first meet them: handsome, pretty, gentlemanlike, elegant…”. And yet she avoids specifics–perhaps as a reaction to other novels of her era, where a heroine’s precise points of beauty are totted up among her other virtues to make her a peerless wonder. Austen’s heroines are often described by other characters, rather than the narration, as it’s important to consider who is looking, and how, when looking at their judgements. Some people use a mention in Jane Austen’s letters about Jane wearing the colour green and Elizabeth preferring yellow to be some kind of marker of what their haircolours must have been in Austen’s mind’s eye, but that’s a tenuous argument at best, and if Austen had wanted the world in general to know imagined particulars about Jane and Elizabeth, she would have set them down in the text.
We know Elizabeth’s eyes are fine, and dark, but beyond that, we are given no details. On a genetic level, dark eyes are far more likely to occur in people with darker hair, but Austen wasn’t working with genetics–and dark eyes paired with lighter hair can sometimes be a rare sign of remarkable beauty, as in the descriptions of Irene in Galsworthy’s Forsyte Saga books. (A description which was entirely ignored in the casting of my future wife Gina McKee, but then Irene’s beauty and her allure is such a pivotal force in the novels that to pin it down as necessarily belonging to certain shades of colouring is to make it more trite than it truly is. Irene’s beauty is something beyond what one sees at first glance–it is transcendent charm.) Dark could mean brown, or also a very dark blue or grey–it’s impossible to tell, exactly. Anne Elliott’s eyes are mild and dark, Fanny Price’s are soft and light, Harriet Smith’s are blue, Jane Fairfax’s a deep grey, (and her lashes and eyebrows called dark, giving us some notion of the likely shade of her hair,) Mary Crawford’s are sparkling and dark…eyes are often the only thing near to a solid description we are given of physical attributes, and even then half of the description is more to do with the expression of the personality or feeling of the character through their glances and gazes, rather than specifically the colour of their irises. (Only Emma Woodhouse’s exact eye-colour is known–they are “hazle” and no adaptation so far has given enough of a shit to make certain of casting.) Marianne Dashwood has very dark eyes, and there is a general comparative description of the figures of the two sisters–but casting directors rarely, if ever, I think, take specifics of figures into account beyond an ‘acceptable’ level of Hollywood slimness.Now, for the casting trends (exceptions to the pattern you laid out being the 1940 P&P’s Greer Garson being a dirty-blonde/light brown Elizabeth, while Maureen O’Sullivan’s Jane had very dark hair; and the 1980 miniseries with Elizabeth Garvie’s Eliza also having light brown hair while Sabina Franklyn’s Jane was several shades darker–but indeed, the two more recent and well-known adaptations of 1995 and 2005 have the colourings you mentioned,) it’s probably just down to Hollywood mechanics where you’re going to have to combine the tropes of a comparative Ugly Duckling sister as well as a Best Friend/Beta Couple plotline. Coding a blonde woman (or man) as ‘good’ and a darker-haired person as ‘less good’ has been a Thing since long before cinema showed up on the scene. There’s a reason Laura Ingalls spends so much time inwardly (and outwardly) bitching about her sister Mary’s luck in being blonde (and also better-behaved, though this is never explicitly tied to the fact that Mary is blonde, but just ties INTO the overall notion that Mary is The Better Daughter.) Dark-haired heroines throughout older literature have bemoaned their lack of golden locks (notably also in LM Montgomery’s works, with Anne Shirley’s famous sensitivity about her hair being red, but also briefly in Emily Starr’s contemplation of her own black hair and atypical looks, which gets a bit of verse thrown at it which I can’t find sourced anywhere else so must have been made up by Montgomery herself: “If the bards of old the truth have told the sirens had raven hair. But over the earth since art had birth, they paint the angels fair.“So culturally, in the west, there’s a pervasive notion (especially when it comes to women,) that dark-haired women are the ‘darker’ side of their humanity…the temptresses, the more-likely-to-be-bad. (Though any reasonable reader would be like “…well, they’re human, you see, not out-and-out evil.”) But of course anyone compared to the fair-haired saintly paragon of womanhood would look bad–and so equally is the angelic blonde woman a trope in literature, often but not always used in comparisons against her brunette foil.
In cinema, quite often it’s just to better differentiate between characters, and to use these assumptions which are deeply entrenched in our cultures to play upon our immediate and almost instinctive reactions to visual cues. Jane is super-good, so she’s blonde. Bingley is likewise a bright and easy-going character, with more elements of comedy about him, so he’s got lighter hair, too, either as a strawberry blonde or redhead–but he is definitely the sidekick. I, personally, would be all for a ginger Darcy. Or a ginger-everybody P&P. (But that’s not going to happen, because redheaded men are culturally de-sexed/made less masculine or attractive, whereas redheaded women are more inclined to be overly-sexualized. Humanity is weird.) Darcy is a brooding brunette, because darker hair in the case of a male character gives them gravitas and mystery. It’s that damn Byronic thing coming into play. Dark hair, dark secrets. It’s a visual construct we’ve trapped ourselves into, at this point. Also, when you’ve got two love-stories running more or less concurrently, an audience needs visual markers to help them quickly identify and individualize (and therefore emotionally-invest in) the characters. More morally-dubious and fascinating hero and heroine Elizabeth and Darcy are brunettes because we see them making mistakes and drawing our attention by being fuck-ups. Lizzie can’t be the Prettier Sister, so she’s more automatically made the Brunette Underdog. Darcy is brooding and mysterious–so it’s very easy to make him dark-haired. Their contrasts are in their secondary characters–Jane and Bingley. Jane is prettier, and good-hearted (moreso than Eliza, anyway,) so she ascends to Blonde. Bingley is the Good Friend, and seemingly with fewer social defects compared to Darcy, so as the Nice Man, he gets lighter hair to also differentiate him from Darcy and make him more matchy-matchy with Jane. Our brains are making these connections based on visuals even before we’ve gotten half a dozen words of dialogue from any of these people.
This happens often in films and TV shows–in Coppola’s Dracula, Sadie Frost (a natural brunette) was made a vibrant redhead as Lucy to contrast to Winona Ryder’s more sedate and mysterious Mina. (Though this also had the fun effect of tying in a possible reference to the historical link between redhaired people and vampires, and the whole mythos of redhaired women in particular and sexual allure/witchcraft/spiritual evil–particularly as THIS version of Lucy is much more heavily sexualized compared to her book counterpart. I don’t know how much of the hair-colour-change was on purpose from Coppola’s perspective, and largely it’s just handwaved as being so people could really tell apart the ONLY TWO MAJOR FEMALE CHARACTERS IN THE FILM, but personally I think it’s an interesting choice–particularly compared to Katie McGrath’s blonde Lucy.) Again, we see the contrasting of virtue coded in hair-colouring, as Lucy is a character known for her sweetness and purity…as well as being a secondary female character to the heroine, and hence her more-virtuous foil…with lighter hair. Mina’s place as an educated, working, and married woman, with a more active part in the narrative, particularly as her brushes with dark forces mark her as ‘unholy’, makes it easier to code her as ‘complicated’, i.e. a brunette. Interestingly, this is set on its head in Penny Dreadful, where Mina becomes the blonde, doomed damsel, and her friend/lover Vanessa is the raven-haired woman at the center of a maelstrom of fucked up shit full of vampires, witches, and devils. Essentially if you want your heroine to go ‘bad’ a little (or a lot), give her a better-by-comparison blonde friend and have at it.Of course, since these tropes are so pervasive, we do see stories where this is purposefully mirrored or mocked, where the icy blonde is the femme fatale or turncoat who uses her appeal to deceive others–but this relies just as heavily on the initial assumption that a fair-haired character is intrinsically ‘better’ on a moral level.To conclude, this is why I think we see that general trend with colouring when it comes to casting/styling these characters in cinematic adaptations, as we have really very little in the text to go on, but from the characters themselves there are long traditions to draw from for visual cues to quickly and adeptly condition audiences to draw certain assumptions about these characters which enable us to rapidly bond with and understand them to some degree. I want to specify “Western” audiences because the blonde/brunette thing is at its roots kind of a colourism thing which is grossly pervasive in a white supremacist society going back for centuries, and Caucasian beauty standards do not and should not apply globally; but as the media most of us are familiar with is dominated by this white heteronormative patriarchal history, these tropes and codings exist for ultimately gross reasons. Frankly we could all do without them from this day forward, but change can be slow and so these stereotypes continue to exist and blonde people on-screen for now often continue to be the tacit code for ‘these people are the purest bestest people’ while the darker-haired people are almost always more morally-grey, complicated–even troubling–and made more ‘fascinating’ by their more flawed natures. It’s a shitty way of doing things, but we’ve been culturally conditioned to respond to things like that, and so it works.Anyway, thanks for asking this one–my answer went to places I wasn’t fully expecting me to go, but I enjoyed blowing the dust off my film studies qualifications and I always love yelling about culture.
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