#percy is the pact weapon AU

[blorbologist]

Get your hands dirty - Chapter 3

Perc’ahlia | E for smut | Campaign 1 AU with sprinkles of TLOVM | Percy is the pact weapon AU | COMPLETE

Percival sleeps -

--

and then he doesn’t.

He startles weakly, nerves worn from a day’s disuse. But the sensation of something moving across his chest, with careful trepidation - 

Percy rolls onto his side and reflexively seizes it.

Has he fallen asleep again? Because that’s Vex’s wrist he’s holding. And in her grasp (so indirectly his as well) is a folded letter, one corner stained with his own blood. 

Everything seeps back in, slow clouds of warmth in his head. Waking up on the stone tablet, no colder than he; Ripley is dead; Pike brought him back; Keyleth kept Orthax from him. And through it all Vex looming, unusually quiet. Much like he was, in her position.

His eyes flit up. Rare indeed is it to see Vex’ahlia surprised. Surprise is superseded by a tumble of emotions she can’t quite hide in time: relief and disappointment and elation and shame and guilt (which he knows well are different things).

“You don’t usually snore,” she says quickly.

“... Not usually, no.”

Exhaustion is just enough to keep him from replying that, well, he doesn’t usually die, either. So instead he tries to wake, enough to keep up with the pace of her breathing. A moment later he’s conscious enough to let go of her wrist. Slowly, as you release a wild bird.

Vex’ahlia is flushed - with embarrassment or alcohol or both - and sits on the edge of the bed. Cabal’s Ruin, draped over a chair, is suddenly thoroughly interesting to her. It’s almost interesting to him, too. It should be. A Vestige. But the sparks and stars and shimmer of it all is hurting his eyes, while Vex’ahlia is much easier to look at. 

She says, “I’m sorry, Percy,” and she says this like it burns her. “I just - fuck! We didn’t mean for you to know. Pretend we never read it.” 

That… makes sense. She was returning the letter. The letter he wrote in case he died. Because he was dead. 

[Ch1] [Keep reading on AO3]

[ogdoadfates]

Vox Machina Bones AU (yes the crime show)

Keyleth ( entomologist), percy (weapons expert), and scanlan (FBI special agent OR FBI physcologist)  are new hires/transfers to the old/current team consisting of Vax (FBI special agent), Vex ( forensic artist ), Pike (forensic anthropologist), Grog (Pikes assistant). Keyleth, Percy, and scanlan were all part of the same team till transferred to the new one hence them knowing each other rather well. Allura is the director, Gilmore is the co director, Kima is a CIA agent.

Main romantic pairings: Vax/Keyleth, Percy/Vex, and Scanlan/Pike

Main platonic pairings: Keyleth & Percy (sibling like relationship, when left alone together unsupervised and bored they get into a lot of chaos which tends to lead to explosions), Keyleth and Scanlan (Daughter Father like relationship due to keyleth helping him connect with his daughter. He keeps this rather close to the vest tho) Vex & Vax (well duh), Vex and Keyleth (tho it starts out rather rocky they grow closer the longer they work together.) Pike and Vex (besties), Grog and Pike (no duh), Vax and scanlan (they have to work together a lot as partners, Scanlan ends up kind of being a father figure to Vax (Scanlan is just becoming everyones father figure in this I guess)), Percy and Scanlan (protective pact of their friends and trauma buddies aka they talk to each other about heavy stuff), basicly every combo is a main platonic pairing!

For fanfiction I think this works best as either stacks of one shots or a very very long series that way their can be alternating focus of the cast and give everyone a ton of ‘screen time’! Of course if going along the lines of the show a lot of it is gonna be Vax, Scanlan and tho I’d say Pike, Pike doesn’t act like bones and weirdly I do think Keyleth would be more so the one to random tag along (even more so if you give Keyleth a love for random knowledge maybe the Ashari are known collectors of random artifacts and other such oddities) (god I’d love to read it, I also love watching the show bones and would be more then willing to give info on episodes for inspiration and how to work similar situations from the show into the AU!)

This au has tons of space for angst, hurt and comfort, mystery, suspense, romance, deep friendships, friendships tested, betrayal, and more! (with the added bonus of no one of the main cast dieing since none of the main cast dies in bones dies (except some assistants and sweets/the phycologist but we can just ignore that in this au :’3))

[xfindingtrouble]

anyways i am Awful at making pages for my muses, but percy does have a few non-canon verse i want to throw out there. here are some veryyy simple versions of what they are.

modern verse. ( open shipping ) percy is a college student, a member of the band ' vox machina '. he often stands as the odd one out in class but when surrounded by his friends he seems a bit more at home in his skin. there's a bit more than meets the eye here, a past he's slow to share with those around him. the de rolos were once socialites, slaughtered under mysterious circumstances. in the shadows, they were killed by the briarwoods who sought a power they protected, but percy was not informed of. He was institutionalized when he tried telling people that an evil necromancer killed his family. his psychiatrist was on the briarwoods' payroll & from there he learned how to present the narrative that would keep him out of these institutions. all while in the background he plots, plans & claws his way to revenge. in this verse he is aware of his pact with orthax & intends to use it to fight the magic he doesn't quite understand. he also collects medevial weapons & has a fascination with them/their functionality.

briarwood verse. ( open shipping ) a role swap between percy & cassandra! percy is shot down & cassandra leaves him behind after realizing he is dead on the snow. the briarwoods coax him back into life & keep him as an asset. he learns how to play their game & becomes an informant, an agent while biding his time. eventually, he makes a pact with the demon orthax, again, knowingly, in order to create a less obvious version of ' the list ' after a few years of service, he is made a vampire & uses those skills to serve all while waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. to the public, he looks like a traitor in every sense of the word. he doesn't necessarily care because he doesn't intend to survive it all. when cassandra takes whitestone back, percy is left with a question: should he stay or should he go? he was an active player in the game that destroyed his home, but now that it's back there is new reason to care again. it's a delicate rope to balance on & he's not sure which way he's going to fall.

survival verse. ( open shipping ) an au where the de rolos were never killed & were able to thwart the attempt on their family. julius is at the head of the family after their parents died in the struggle & knows the details of what lies beneath whitestone. percy figures out his gun on his own terms, though it is still an action driven by fear it doesn't have the same urgency as it does in his main verse. he knows what is at stake if people find out about the ziggeraut & works with his older siblings to protect what is left of their home.

grim verse. ( closed shipping ) percy de rolo has found new life in undeath with his wife, astoria grim/de rolo ( @softersinned ) after a few decades of standing at her side & struggling to find a cure for vampirism, his mortality became more & more apparent. He asks his wife to make him a vampire to buy them more time. she gave him her life & so he would give her his death. with her, he figures out how to navigate his new senses & instincts, all while raising their adopted daughter. where he would have never chosen undeath before, he see's reason for it in them. the longer he lives, the more time he buys to spend growing with & tending to those relationships. a few raise their eyebrow at this development, but time is all it takes to wait them out. they have forever, after all.

[isleofsodora]

The Initiation (ch. 3 au)

Thomas blinked with wide blue eyes, did he just hear this girl correctly?

“You…you want to join the Brotherhood?” He gaped with a slack jaw before turning to see the other members, Percy, Ryan and the twins all stared before the boys suddenly walloped with laughter, Hannah’s sweet smile instantly faded as she stared in disbelief.

“A girl?! Wanting to join the Brotherhood?! Did you knock your head on the way in by chance?!” Thomas joked between his laughter, tears pricked his eyes and the twins were laughing the hardest of all, literally rolling on the ground whilst kicking their legs in the air.

Thomas caught his breath before wiping his eyes, “I’m sorry Hannah, but the Brotherhood doesn’t allow women into the pact! Now if you were a guy like the rest of us,” and gestured to the young men standing behind him, Percy puffed out his chest with prideful smile on his face, his bright green eyes bled with young but arrogant ego, “we’d be more than happy to take you in.”

The white cloaked girl continued to stare in shock before her brow began to darken, “are you serious?” Hannah remarked in a crude tone before she glared with fierce golden brown eyes, “Are you kidding me?!” She shrieked and her cheeks went red, “I saved you from utter death and now you’re saying that I can’t join?!” She glared with her piercing glare and the boys all glanced at each other, knowing the bitter truth.

“Look Hannah, I do thank you for rescuing me, but the Brotherhood isn’t meant for girls, can you just imaging what could happen to you out there?! On the cobblestone streets?! There’s muggers and Royal Guards crawling all over the place!” Thomas explained and ran a hand through his midnight black hair, it flopped right back down into its fluffy appearance.

“I know how to defend myself!” Hannah retorted, “you seen me take down a Royal with my bare hands!” The girl scolded and the other boys all gasped, “she took down a’ Royal with ‘er bare hands?!” Ben gasped in awe, Bill was staring with the same perplexed face as his twin, even Percy and Ryan were amazed as well.

Thomas grumbled and looked down with furrowed brows, recalling how Hannah somehow flipped the guard without the use of any handheld weapons. “Yeah…she did, but still!” The blue eyed boy remarked, “the Brotherhood is too dangerous for girls to be in anyways” and he turned around with his back towards the white cloaked figure, crossing his arms over his bosom with his chin tipped up.

“Then I challenge you Thomas,” Hannah boldly spook up, and with those words the very air seemed to freeze, the Brotherhood boys all gasped before looking at their young leader, Thomas was staring straight ahead with wide eyes and rigid shoulders, clearly his ears had deceived him again, right?

“W-what did you just say?” And he turned to see the shorter girl glaring with determined eyes, “I challenge you Thomas, name the game and if I win,” she smiled a bit, “then I get to join the Brotherhood,” the blue eyed boy blinked, a direct challenge to the leader of any gang was suicidal, and the loser would be at the mercy of the gangs will.

Percy tugged Thomas’s torn tunic and gazed up with worried eyes, “Thomas…don’t accept the challenge! This is absurd! You know it’s too risky to do something like this!” He whispered by the young mans ear, Thomas sighed before rightening himself up, he wasn’t one to go down without a fight, no matter how rickety the outcome was.

“Alright Hannah,” Thomas sneered with a wrinkle in his round nose, “I accept your challenge,” then the Brotherhood boys all gasped in stunned horror, Percy was so upset he suddenly sobbed before dashing out of the secret hideout, Hannah watched him go with concerned eyes before she narrowed her stare towards Thomas.

“Meet me by the Sclērœdermâ Pub within a weeks time,” the young man spoke, “whoever can snag the largest sum of wealth will be declared victorious, deal?” And Thomas stuck out his dirty hand, Hannah arched a cynical brow before she smirked, she clapped her clean palm into Thomas’s slightly larger hand and shook firmly, securing the challenge and Thomas’s tricks, “deal,” she smiled before stepping back.

Hannah waved her goodbye before slipping out of the hideout with a smile on her face, Thomas watched her leave before rushing after Percy, Ryan and the twins both glanced at each other, unsure of what to do next.

*a weeks time later*

Thomas yawned as he was leaning against a lone post with his wanted poster right above his head, the pub wasn’t the greatest place to go in search of riches and gold, but it was a lot safer the the South Gate; considering that there wasn’t as many Royals near here.

The blue eyed boy stretched before peeking an eye open, and he saw a familiar white cloaked girl walking amongst other commoners, likely to go to the exchange market to bicker for coin for the upcoming tax collect, Hannah embarked closer with her hood drawn up, Thomas could easily see her brown eyes peeking from underneath and she grinned. “Hello Thomas,” she said teasingly and stopped right beside the young man, the blue eyed boy smirked back before lowering his own cloaks blue hood.

“Hello Hannah, are you sure you still want to do this? There’s no shame in backing down,” he dared with a playful brow, Hannah shook her head before lowering her hood, “and let myself be mocked for eternity by the likes of you? No way!” And gently nudged his shoulder, Thomas chortled before stretching, getting ready for the awaiting race, though he did have to admit, Hannah clearly had a stubborn charisma and he admired that much.

“All right then,” Thomas drawled out while rolling his eyes, “you know the game, whoever gets the biggest snag wins,” and glanced over his shoulder, Hannah dipped her head before striding right on past, “see you back at the hideout!” She called before slipping into an alleyway, Thomas chuckled before walking the other way, scheming up a plan for his next victim.

The blue cloaked figure was sitting in hiding as he watched a old cart filled with luggage being pulled by a single Royal, Thomas watched for another moment before sneaking out, and stalked closely behind, his blue eyes glued to the various crates and bags, Thomas padded closer and silently slipped onto the backside of the cart, the Royal didn’t hear a sound as the boy dug through the various items, and when his gaze landed on a small wooden chest, he smiled with hungry eyes.

Thomas jerked the item up from under its chains and it popped out without a sound, the blue cloaked figure snickered as he retreated with his prize under his arm and casually walked alongside of the unsuspecting Royal, drawing up his hood and strode right on past, without warning someone shouted from a nearby tax collectors shack, and Thomas bolted, cackling away as a group of Royals now pursued after him.

Thomas just loved the thrill of the chase and stumping the Royals, the blue cloaked figure rushed along the cobblestone road and the Gallows were soon in his sights, along with the group of guards right at his heels. Thomas skidded around a corner and snuck into a tight gap between two abandoned stalls, watching the clueless armored men run right past.

After a bit Thomas slipped back out and headed straight for the Brotherhoods hideout, when the midnight blue haired boy slipped in past the drawn cloth a breath of relief seemed to help ease the other members, Percy grinned delightfully when he seen the small chest in Thomas’s clutches.

“How long do ye think tha’ girl will be?” Bill peeped up from his bed while Ben was tossing some more cloths onto his own bed, and no sooner had he said that Hannah stepped in with a sly grin on her face, her white cloak was fully secured so no one could see her arms.

“Well? How’d you do Thomas?” Hannah asked and the blue eyed boy smirked, holding up the small chest before popping it open, a large handful of silver pieces were inside, the other boys seemed to smirk at the white cloaked girl, there was no way she could top that off! Hannah faked a horrified face before she suddenly slipped her arms out from under her cloak, revealing what she was hiding, Thomas blinked before he felt his heart turn to stone.

Hannah still wore the fake horrified look as she was holding up two huge sacks filled to the brim with silver pieces, a golden ribbon used to tie the cloth was a clear indicator that they were meant to go straight to King Azazel’s palace, which was located a few leagues from the small village of Krÿztof, harboring the Brotherhoods secret hideaway. “A handful of silver pieces! How am I supposed to top that?!” Hannah remarked with a heavy sarcastic tone before dropping the bags, Ben and Bill knocked each other over and when they got their hands on the bags, they both squealed.

“Thomas! This is unbelievable!” Bill shrieked, “this’ll last us months!” Ben added in next but Thomas was still staring with stunned eyes, Ryan couldn’t help himself and rushed over as well, letting hundreds of pieces slip through his fingers before grinning with absolute gratitude. “H-Hannah! How’d-?! This is amazing!” He squawked with wide eyes, his blond bangs swayed as he looked frantically between the stolen sacks and white cloaked girl.

“Every girl has their secrets,” Hannah sang before she flashed a taunting smirk at the Brotherhoods leader, whom was still in a state of shock, Thomas had tried himself to get a golden ribbon sack but he nearly got caught twice, so he would always stray away from trying, and the wagons were heavily guarded, so how did this girl swipe two of them?! He was stumped and appalled, his arse was just handed to him by a girl, a beautiful but awfully stubborn girl!

“Well?” Hannah shrugged with a mischievous grin, “does this finally prove that a girl,” and flexed her fore fingers with a sarcastic tone that could have been fooled for sincere, “can join the Brotherhood?” And every eye turned towards Thomas, the light eyed boy glanced around before sighing in defeat, “well, a deal’s a deal, so yes,” Thomas slumped his shoulders, “you’re in,” and Hannah beamed excitably, her idea of pocketing two sacks from the palaces tax storeroom was a brilliant success.

Ben and Bill had no shame and suddenly tackled Hannah, Thomas and Percy watched as they both wrestled her to the ground though she was handling them just fine on her own, even managing to pin one down before the other nuisance brother jumped on her from behind, Ryan scolded the twins as he tried to pry them from the girl, the twins cackled and bickered, covering Hannahs beautiful white cloak in dirty black soot, making the clean freak cry out in frustration.

Thomas stared with mesmerized blue eyes before someone tugged on his cloak, the young man glanced down and seen Percy gazing up with large green eyes, “you’re still the best Thomas, please don’t forget that,” and grinned up at his older brother like figure, Thomas felt his eyes soften and he slung an arm around Percy’s shoulders, drawing him closer and Percy giggled, the two close friends watched as Ryan and Hannah both manhandled the troublesome twins, eventually putting them both into headlocks until they tapped their forearms in defeat, the white cloaked girl seemed like she was a part of the Brotherhood gang for months, settling in like she strangely belonged.

[soleminisanction]

Random notes from that Warlock!Cassandra AU:

– Vox Machina calls her Cassie. It’s a running gag. – Cassie’s a Pact of the Blade warlock with Orthax as her Fiend patron. Her pact weapon is “her mother’s sword,” though she has no way of knowing for sure whether it’s the real sword her mother wielded or just a magical facsimile. She wields a dagger in her off-hand and prefers to be an up-close, sneaky fighter. – She and Vax are close friends for basically the same reason Percy and Vex were in canon: they share a similar fighting style and are often found in the same part of the fray. They tend to talk things out over sparring matches. Vax likes to play big brother. – Her List is written on the inside of her left arm. After the first kill Vax starts confiscating her daggers so she can’t hurt herself to remove a name. – Has a bird mask, but it’s less Plague Doctor and more elegant masquerade. And she can totally kick ass in a long skirt.

– Percy’s left leg was mangled by a bear trap when they tried to escape Whitestone. The Brairwoods allowed it to heal improperly and re-broke it a few times so he would never try to run again. He can’t get around the castle without crutches or a wheelchair, and the injury leaves him in constant pain. They and Ripley keep him docile by controlling his painkillers. – Anders and Ripley’s roles are effectively switched. It’s Anders whom Cassandra makes a deal with and lets escape while Ripley is Percy’s keeper. She dies when Anders leads VM to her to retrieve Percy. – Percy’s still an inventor and also an alchemist, utilizing thrown weapons and a crossbow. When he insists on coming along with VM, Vex suggests using Trinket as a service bear/mount. Percy makes her a batch of enchanted arrows as thanks and they pretty much immediately hit it off. — Cassie’s immensely jealous. Stupid big brother stealing her friends! – This also leads to the Brairwoods charming Vex and dominating Trinket instead of Vax. – At some point during that last fight, Percy’s bad leg is doused in acid, increasing his pain to unbearable levels. He begs Cass to just fucking kill him already, he can’t live like this. Her choice to amputate instead is what casts Orthax out of her soul. – “Scanlan, that sword was my mother’s!”

– In the aftermath, Percy winds up staying in Whitestone as Lord and develops prostheses for himself and many others – Whitestone’s a mining town, after all, and between that and the rebellion there’s plenty of lost limbs. Without the chronic pain holding him back he can get around much easier even with only one leg. – Cassie keeps traveling with VM, eventually making a new pact with either Artegan or the Raven Queen to get her warlock abilities back. It comes with a new sword, one all her own. – Percy and Vex still become a thing, because those two are soulmates and you’ll never convince me otherwise. :P

[blorbologist]

blame @burr-ell for this, I'm finally poking at the not-needed-but-still-fun second chapter of Get your hands dirty because of HER.

And oh boy Percy is gonna Keep Goin Through It :,)

[blorbologist]

🎈🤍

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

My style is one heavily focused on grabbing the reader by the head and shoving them into the scene, with as much sensory and emotional info as I can stuff in. I want the world to feel alive and real, and that means sometimes the unusual beauty of it catches your eye, and other times hair falls into your mouth and you have to hack and spit a little. There's a lot of introspection and character analysis, too. This tends to get toned down a touch when I have a longer fic with plot to get through, where it gets more of a balance of trimming this down to get to the action, but! YEAH

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

Get your hands dirty is a lot more than 'wouldn't it be hot and fucked up if the Orthax pact gave Percy tattoos?'! I don't think it's explored much in the first chapter, it will hopefully be more obvious in the second, but... it deals a lot with imposter syndrome [what if all his incredible creations weren't his own, what if he was just a vessel for Orthax's designs?], further emphasis on what Orthax really did, which was use Percy [and he's forced, here, to put more blame on Orthax than himself for creating guns] and, to a lesser degree, how isolating trauma can be [Percy hiding his skin not just to hide his scars but hide the schematics, too, so he really can't take off his layers of fancy clothing 'armor' around anyone].

But it's also hot so I Get It Yknow.

[blorbologist]

Get your hands dirty - Chapter 2

Perc’ahlia | M [for gore n whump] | Campaign 1 AU with choice bits snagged from TLOVM | Percy is the pact weapon + 'Shooting our your palm has fucking consequences' AU

[Chapter 2 finally here after @burr-ell bullied me. Hopefully the third and final chapter will follow soon-ish?]

“Lord de Rolo?” and the words belong to a dream because that title belongs to Father and Father is dead, except Percy can’t wake, can’t wake up  -

Stop. Breathe. Restart.

Dawn breaks late over the Alabaster Sierras: tall toothlike mountains take up so much of the sky, the sun must climb high to clear them. It’s well past that first bite of morning, and so probably hours later than he would usually wake. 

Knocking resumes at the door, more urgently, so Percival hopes his voice comes clear: “Yes?”

“Lord de Rolo,” and she has to be a servant that survived the purge, to put that much deference into the name, “your sister and companions await you downstairs for breakfast.” The they’re quite concerned, sir, is only implied. Which confirms Percival’s hunch. 

He reassures the maid he will be down shortly, but does not move. Instead, perhaps unwisely, he unpeels the white bandages from his left hand. Like if he removes all the gauze he will find the names where he always has. 

They’re still bare. Percival breathes heavy relief until his eyes catch on brutal color in his palm.

Most of it, truthfully, is not his palm - but the pattern of the comforter beyond. What’s left - left - of the flesh so close to the wound is puckered and mottled with a rainbow of color. He’s felt worse than the dull, tight pain. Which is better than the prickling drowning several fingers. (That’s why it hadn’t hurt, when Vex’ahlia took his hand last night.)

Well. It figures that if Pike could not heal the fingers he shot off the carriageboy, blasting a hole in his own fucking hand would be even trickier for Keyleth to repair. His head spins; nerves, tendons, muscles, a mess of tiny bones. 

In a fit of grim whimsy, Percival holds his hand up to the sun, watching it peer through the gaping crater of his palm.

He tries to close his fist around it. Thumb, pinkie and ring finger make a valiant effort of the task. 

The sun remains beyond his grasp.

[Read from begining] [Keep reading on AO3]

[blorbologist]

(to clarify re: Pact weapon au - perc'ahlia, ofc)

"Vex? Could I borrow your broom for a bit?" Percy swallows, amends: "And you?" 

Busy heaving Trinket away from the pantry and towards the whole chickens laid out for the bear, Vex takes a minute to get back to him. When she does it's chest heaving and a curious little grin alight on her lips. 

"I was going to volunteer myself to watch you work, anyways - what do you have in mind, Percy?" 

He clears his throat. Flexes his left hand. Fights the urge to skin the glove from it to be sure, sure the names are gone. They should be - he can still feel the starburst of scar tissue. 

"Nothing much. Just some assistance with a few precision movements, holding it in place, the sort." 

She notices. That bitesized grin (who hasn't thought of getting a taste?) falters. "Is it giving you trouble?" 

"The broom is quite unwieldy," he says instead. "I'd really appreciate the hand." 

--

He's not sure he would be able to complete this without her help. 

The siege arrow had, truthfully, been a night of unbridled guilt. No evening could stomach all his fumbles, how his sinister fingers shook still as they did when his palm gaped. 

It shakes less, with Vex gliding about this simulacrum of his workshop. Here, alive and more whole than he. Then he's ever been. As though he died, there, and not her. 

She's good. It takes little observation for her to anticipate where to put pressure, or hold the handle steady. After he disengages once or twice to fetch a ruler or wrench she slips away instead, finding what's needed at simple instruction.

It's nice.

It's so nice, and his stupid hand can't behave.

Percy lets out a frustrated growl when his jerking and stumbling again pries the screwdriver from where he needs it.

"Can I try?" She offers it carefully, mindful of the burn behind his eyes he fights to keep at bay.

"... Sure," he sighs. "Let me show you -"

Vex was just on his left, a moment ago. One hand is still there, thumb brushing his hand.

Where did she go? Why is it so warm?

It takes an embarrassingly long second to deduce that she has slipped under his arm to settle against his front, gently prying the screwdriver from his grasp.

"Like this?"

He nods. It's the steadiest he's been all evening.

A lot less steady when he realizes she can feel the movement and spots her teeth on her lip.

Percy swallows. 

--

Send me an AU/WIP (see my pinned post) + a ship and I'll give you a lil romantic moment for them set in that universe! Either a whole complicated HC or a lil snippet <3

[blorbologist]

Get your hands dirty

Perc’ahlia | M [for gore n whump] | Campaign 1 AU but also mostly works for TLOVM | Percy is the pact weapon AU

Special thanks to @essayofthoughts for helping with some of the ideas in this AU and giving part of it a readover! And @priorityerror whose enthusiasm got me to dust off the AU and finish it off in no time flat - it went from ~2k words to 8.5k in a couple days! 

Percy (just Percy - Percival is too much, now, too gaping with all the people who should use his name like that) -

Stop. Breathe. Restart.

Percy knows from the moment he wakes that it was no normal dream. You could call it intuition - a rasp at the back of his skull like something’s settling in there. Or maybe sound reason - he’s a bright young man, but plans this precise are beyond his subconscious. 

Or you could call it common sense, because there are black smudges on him that were not there when he bedded down in the alley. 

Alternative hypothesis: something nasty bit him in the night, or some scrape finally got infected, and this spells out his doom. 

But - no. They do not follow veins. They actually spell things out pretty clearly. 

Percy sighs, a ratty thing. Flexes his hand, brings it over the line of morning shadow into tentative light.

Professor Anders

It’s not his handwriting. He hasn’t seen ink in weeks, too scrapped for coin for the luxury. The P starting at the base of his hand, affording the traitor his distinction, his name eating up the space of the pad of Percy’s left thumb. 

Opens his palm. Yes - on the inside of each finger, a name: 

Doctor Ripley

Lord Briarwood

Lady Briarwood

Sir Kerrion Stonefell

[Keep reading on AO3!]

[blorbologist]

perc'ahlia for Percy is the pact weapon AU [Get your hands dirty] teeheehe because I feel like making you write fluff for the pain you made me suffer with that fic. Or you can always give me the kitten au too. ;) whichever is easier. Happy valentine's day, my dear. you are the best. okay bye.

"I can tell you never actually had these done by a person," Vex hums, fluttering near the washbin as she gets her things ready. When Percy heaves himself up to ask why, she presses him back down with a look. "You're so squirmy, darling."

"Squirmy?" There’s a flare of indignation. Percy drops his head back into the towel and closes his eyes. He can be still. Statuesque, even. Why, as a child he posed for portraits -

(Do those paintings still exist? More to his purposes: do they still exist unmolested? Somewhere he could find them? Could he even look and see them, or would he only find the pieces of them he glimpses too long in the mirror? Or, perhaps, all the places the painter thought wrong and erred and made caricatures of the only faces they have left?) 

(Could he even tell, anymore?)

Percy focuses on the sounds that drift by him. The gurgling water as Vex's hands scrub, splash, splash. The music she makes mixing the paste, wooden spoon to bowl-lip to its insides. A satisfied sound. 

She is completely silent but for her activity - he does not catch so much as a whisper of her feet against the floorboards or carpet. Only once, when she encounters bare stone and pauses to appreciate the fireside warmth, and that mostly because he feels her steal the heat.

He lifts his head.

Vex, already watching, dimples. "Squirmy."

"That wasn't - I didn't have to move," he mutters. 

"Oh really?" 

(He can't quite say he just wanted to see her, the magic of her ever innocuous move, to understand every moment she let herself be heard, so he settles for grumbling.) 

--

Send me an AU/WIP (see my pinned post) + a ship and I'll give you a lil romantic moment for them set in that universe! Either a whole complicated HC or a lil snippet <3

[blorbologist]

Randomized WIP prompts

Stolen with permission from @essayofthoughts <33 But! I’m facing a little bit of writer’s block for Two for Joy and need a change of pace, so: counted up all my WIPs/projects, listed below the cut and randomized them.

Send me an ask with a number between 1-25 along with a word: if it’s already present in the fic I’ll share a snippet with it, or write up a new one if not. If the project/AU/WIP is correctly guessed in the comments, I’ll write another 100 words for it! 

[Full disclosure, many of these have nothing written for them, so you’ll be directly getting me to start working on them! :D]

Full list of my WIPs/planned projects under the cut. Not in order! The number they’re associated with is randomized! 

Two for joy ~smut~

Two for joy

Two for joy: Alt. ending

Cat's cradle / Kitten AU 

Daughters or Dolls / Matilda is Delilah’s apprentice AU

Tiefling AU

Second chapter to My heart’s a vessel for ill intent

Fille du roi / historical Quebec AU 

Vax *is* the RQ Age of Arcanum AU

Vex tells Laudna what Imogen said at the rez ritual

Perc’ahlia travel troubles comfort fic 

Recoil chapter 2

And so will I chapter 3, Jester flower symbolism

Nursery rhymes as told by briarpatches chapter 4, Greypool 

Vex’s menial duties as Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt

Vex and Percy's story told in the style of Beren and Lúthien 100s of years from now

2/3 Vampires Bashter AU

More stream of consciousness Imodna 

Ashton’s reaction to Laudna’s death

Leona runs off to the Cobalt Soul AU

Percy is the pact weapon AU pt.2

Percy’s struggles making wedding rings

Yasha and Eadwulf being house spouses to their girlboss wives AU

Bren at the academy learning about Ripley and Delilah

Cass, Kynan, Desmond and Kaylie having a few beers

[blorbologist]

Squinting at the blorbos like rats in a lab

Tags are minimal unfortunately, this is a personal blog so it’s a barrage of all sorts! I DO tag critical role spoilers with #critical role spoilers and #cr spoilers, given I often liveblog, and will tag until the episode is on YouTube. 

I also do fanfic! You can find me on AO3 at umwelt! 

My main ongoing project is my 'Age of Arcanum Perc'ahlia AU', where Vax is the Warden of Ravens, Vex'ahlia his (lonely) Champion, and Percival is the creator of aeormatons. I tag posts about the au #age of arcanum AU if interested!

Prologue ... CH 3

Cat's Cradle is currently a WIP on hiatus, under #cat’s cradle AU, a lil modern Perc’ahlia AU with foster kittens. Compiling chapters on AO3, but tumblr stays a few chapters ahead:

CH 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15

My big completed project is my 'Raven Queen’s champion instead ' AU. You can find posts about it under #vex is the raven queen’s champion AU.

Some writing, sneak peaks and ask games happen here on tumblr, too. More than some. oops.

You can [hopefully, assuming Tumblr behaves] find my writing under the tag #my writing, and ask under #ask game usually!

Like what I do? Consider buying me a coffee so I can stay sane enough to finish these WIPs! And my thesis! 

I do not take requests. Prompts are only when I’ve RB’d a relevant prompt game - I’m in gradschool, assume I’m busy by default lol

Projects:

Architect of our demise [onwards to Vasselheim!]

Cat's cradle / Kitten AU [on hiatus for Uni]

Daughters or Dolls [plotting, title is a wip]

Second chapter to My heart’s a vessel for ill intent? [not started]

Perc’ahlia travel troubles comfort fic [half-done?]

Recoil chapter 2 [dusty wip, like a quarter done?]

And so will I chapter 3, Jester [dusty wip]

Nursery rhymes as told by briarpatches chapter 4, Greypool [dusty wip, half done?]

Vex’s menial duties as Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt [got one thing done?]

Kyssandra hide and seek fic [birthday gift for Burr <3]

Vex and Vax in the Slayer's Take in TLOVM [Vexahra for Nova <33]

AUs:

Vex is the Raven Queen’s Champion AU [One for sorrow / Two for joy]

Modern AU bottlefeeding kittens [Cat’s Cradle]

Age of Arcanum AU [Architect of our demise]

Delilah controls Laudna’s heartbeat [My heart’s a vessel]

Filles du roi Perc'ahlia AU [historical Québec au, plottin]

Ruidusborn!Percy AU [just ideas]

Leona runs off to the Cobalt Soul AU [maybe a quarter done?]

MILF and DILF Perc'ahlia marriage of convenience [posted part 1!]

Percy is the pact weapon AU [Get your hands dirty]

2/3 Vampires Bashter AU [got that one snippet to work off of]

Tiefling!Percy AU [brainchild with Essay <333]

FMA AU [A whole mess, one ficlet posted]

Fox woman dreaming AU [1/2 posted]

Just tons of random Gilmore/Vax’ildan/Keyleth shit bc i lov the thems

Perc’ahlia Atlantis AU [just in my brain and that One Screencap Redraw]

Accurate Jurassic Park AU [just vague mushing my two special interests together thots]

'The tale of Merciful and Lex' [Jester reads a smut novel 100% inspired by the de Rolos]

Ships:

OTPs are currently Perc’ahlia, Imodna and Laudmoore in that order. I usually only read fics of these ships bar rare exceptions.* NOTPs that are common enough to be worth mentioning are Widobrave, Widojest, Riprolo, anything remotely incesty or toeing the grooming line. I don’t want to interact with this content don’t fuckin make me.

Ships that aren’t my absolute feral loves, buuut that I’d be happy to write for are man. All canon CR ships, plus Beaujester, Bashter, Kiki/Vax/Gil, Callowmoore, Dorym, Chetney/Fearne, Widomauk, Kiki/Vex/Percy [with a huge *], onesided Tary/Percy, all fun! Also getting into the rarepair of Cassandra/Laudna for Reasons, and any Ace!Cass x NPCs her age.

Beyond that, just, y’know. Use basic critical thinking. Do I really need to write ‘hey! Don’t send me, a stranger, things you wouldn’t talk to a stranger about’? I have faith in y’all not to, for now ktrgnkrtnkgn

Have fun foraging through my blog - hope you find a few things of interest, writing or otherwise! <3

[blorbologist]

oh he's just doin great

blame @burr-ell for this, I'm finally poking at the not-needed-but-still-fun second chapter of Get your hands dirty because of HER.

And oh boy Percy is gonna Keep Goin Through It :,)