#pep u war criminal

[vicstenius]

“What city has been doing for the last 6 years has been impressive” no it’s been fuckin illegal they’re being investigated for a reason 😭😭😭

[tokoyamisstuff]

Tender Ch. 2 - Loki x Mute! Reader

Summary: Winning the favour of the God of Mischief is not an easy task - even if he has already fallen for you.

Warnings: None.

Words: ~1600

A/N: Since I am writing several Series at once, together with Oneshots in between, the chapters are gonna be a bit shorter so I keep no one waiting. Hope that is alright!

[Story Masterlist] [All of my Works]

Taglist: @austynparksandpizza​ @queenariesofnarnia​​ @commonintrest​​ @buckylokisimp​ @just-someone-who-likes-to-write @lxdyred @frostay​​​​

The first weeks after your arrival at the Avengers Compound passed by rather uneventful.

Due to the fact that you neither had a family you could be attached to, nor many belongings ever since HYDRA had kidnapped you and destroyed your home, Tony insisted on you living at the tower - like many of the other members as well.

Everything was just so new and exciting, not even Loki’s gleeful mockery could bring you down from that high.

Little did you know that all of his pep talks about those ‘inferior heros’, the ‘illusion of power’ or how no one was ever truly good or evil had a completely different reason:

An attempt to get you to leave, for your own good. After everything that had happened to you, the god was worried how another fight would affect you.

Anyway, it was a luxurious life compared to your old one, with so many kind persons and new perspectives. And you were sure to return that favor once you’d learn to control your powers!

So until then, you would train as hard as possible and care for your new friends through little acts of service. Caring for others came quite natural to you, may it be listening to their problems or simply complimenting them to see their faces brighten up.

And for some reason, that particular character trait was the one thing Loki found the most annoying.

How could a person so naive and pure think they could actually join in battles against evil? You’ll only end up getting yourself killed - and to be honest, Loki thought this to be a waste.

And even though he’d never admit it, but jealousy was starting to get the better of him the more he observed you getting along with everyone.

They adored you - and they were very right in doing so!

But that would mean that you were just nice to everyone, not especially to him, right?

Every time you’d help Bucky through a panic attack, braided Thor’s hair or helped Banner in the laboratory, Loki only wished you’d be with him instead - and if he had to burn this whole place to the ground for this to happen.

Yet his pride kept him from voicing that desire.

For you on the other hand, it was frustratingly hard to get through to the God of Mischief. In comparison to how he treated the other Avengers, he was always reserved and courteous towards you, yet also unreachable distanced.

Only on a weekend where the other Avengers were on a mission, the two of you found a way to actually bond with each other, if only a little.

Loki had once again read every book he borrowed from Stark’s library, now having a reason to leave his room again. At least those subhumans won’t be there to drain on his nerves...

When he crossed the living room on his way to the elevator, he blinked heavily as he saw you plainly chilling on the sofa. He was just about to turn around and leave, when you hectically gestured for him to stay.

“Hey, Loki! 😊” you wrote on a notepad, holding it up for him to read.

“Greetings...” he spoke between gritted teeth, but your smile wouldn’t falter, so he stood rooted in the middle of the room.

“Do you want to watch a movie together?” How blunt could you be to ask a literal god directly, just like that?!

“Actually, I-” When your eyes met, Loki cut himself off, the words being caught in his throat. “Well, if you’re in dire need of my sublime company...”

You were quick to sit up straight, offering a bowl with popcorn to the Odinson which he curiously accepted. When he answered your question about what sweets they eat on Asgard, he wouldn’t understand why you’d laugh. Apparently ‘nuts and grapes’ are not considered treats on earth. Got it.

Yet that little huff you blew out of your nose instead of making an actual laughing sound came somewhat endearing to him, especially in contrast to your other noisy companions. “Adorable...”

Without even asking first, you’d wrap the other half of the blanket around Loki, effectively closing the gap between you two.

“Wha- I’m not cold!” he blurted out, visibly overchallenged by the sudden closeness. “I’m a Jotun, hel!”

What was he even so worked up about? Geeze...

“But the weather on Asgard is rather humid, right?” you wrote down, with him nodding approvingly. "It allows all kinds of flowers to blossom, other than this metal brick” he explained, your excited look not failing to keep him talking. “You should see it some time.”

Loki’s eyes were now locked on the screen, and you could basically grasp his homesicknes, very well aware that a failure and war criminal like him would never be tolerated in those holy grounds ever again.

Great...now you had achieved the exact opposite of what you wanted.

You tugged on his arm so he’d shift your attention to you again, quickly writing something with a barely there sulk on your face:

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you sad.”

Tears were already forming on the rim of your eyes, making Loki’s insides churn. “So sensitive...gods. Keep yourself together, would you.”

The Odinson instinctively wrapped an arm around you, his free hand petting your head as he pulled it to his chest. He was awfully warm for a frost giant, and his heart was hammering against his chest in a fastened pace - maybe just your imagination, though.

“Well, it’s winter...” he uttered, acting as if he actually cared about the plot of the movie. “I may not freeze, but you seemed cold. That’s all.”

You let your hand run across his collarbone, making him look down to you once again. He bit his lip as his icy glare met your warm one, eyes shimmering with earnest affection while you formed silent words with your lips:

“T-h-a-n-k y-o-u.”

“N-no need to thank me.” Just now Loki wondered what kind of spell you were using on him, being reduced to a shaking and stuttering mess.

No curse, no beauty ever before had bewitched him so much that he would lose his cool, let anyone peek under his confident mask, after all.

Not so long ago, when he was still considered the handsome Prince of Asgard, he would bed a different lover on each night, though never settling for anyone.

And after the revelation of his true heritage, even those fleeting encounters to ease his loneliness would falter - all that’s left was certainty that the theory he had ever since his childhood had proven to be true: 

That everyone had always secretly despised him, the failure of the family and disgrace to all of Asgard. Only through his Jotun blood they had found a reason to not play along with the royal courtesy anymore, showing their resentment up in the open.

But you...you looked at him with completely different eyes than anyone ever did.

Maybe he had become softer, weaker over time - or simply more mature. His mother once told him to seize the moment when someone truly special would cross his way, and to never let them go.

“We could do this more often.” You shoved the notepad in his line of sight, and just now he noticed that two hours had sure passed in an incredible speed.

Just the two of you, cuddled up on the sofa, enjoying each other’s presence instead of dealing with the troublesome past.

“Well...” Loki clawed into your upper arm softly, no intention of letting you out of his grasp already. “I am sure your other companions are more fun to be around. As you most likely already noticed, I am known for ruining the mood.”

Loki had a habit of talking ill about himself, and letting himself down as well. Yet as he saw you eagerly scribble on the notepad, he knit his brows together, impatient to what you’d say next.

“But I want to see you.” The word ‘you’ was written in a thicker font, underlined several times.

“Why?”, that was the first and only thing crossing his mind. And yet there you sat, shoving the notepad into his face with a stern look on your face.

Loki was rooted on spot as you put the notepad on the table, instead laying your hands on his cheeks and softly tugging on the edge of his lips. “S-m-i-l-e!”

“E-enough!” he carefully pushed your hands away, afraid you’d detect the mild blush on his face. “Then it shall be. What did you have in mind?”

“Whatever you want.”

Loki finally arrived at the library to return his books, even though with a few hours delay. Realizing just how much he had enjoyed that spontaneous meeting with you, he began to panic.

Was it really a good idea to repeat this?

He was almost 100% certain that it would only end in him ruining your trust in anyone completely, if he’d ever allow you to come close to his core.

Due to him having saved you back then, you probably see him as something better than he actually was - and gods, how disappointed you’ll be once you’d find out what he really is like...

It was probably for the best if this would never happen, with him just keeping on to admire you from afar...

After a while of just staring into the void, mentally debating about your offer, he couldn’t help the fact that he was already looking forwards to meeting you again.

Uncertain how to approach the matter, Loki was at least eager to show you his goodwill.

For you have been the first person who - despite everything he had done - was willing to give him another chance.

"Greetings. I need every available book about sign language.”

[professorspork]

i know I always say this, but, last night REALLY WAS the BUSIEST OF DAYS in the Reaper War

before I get into yesterday’s gameplay, I realized I forgot to react to the fact that Jacob got Brynn pregnant, which -- again, I suppose that wraps up everything about his backstory in a nice little bow, lad of the bad dad gets to be good dad, but like... it still gives like they gave his character incredibly short shrift. so. humbug to that.

but I have bigger fish to fry (ha ha, literally, see what I did there?) because ALL OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, AND ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. I rescued Ann Bryson, and learned that -- shocker -- she had a bad relationship with her dad. I uh may have condoned her getting a bit of a nasty nose bleed in order to track the Leviathan to Despoina, where as ever I got to read a bunch of people’s weirdly specific sad diaries. my jump into the depths was very cool and scary (does no one get the bends in the future???) and I enjoyed my The First-style body swapping conversation with the Leviathan in which I tried to prove I’m ~special and this time is ~different. on the one hand, I don’t know why I expected the origin of the Reapers to be anything other than yet another story of AI gone wrong, but this whole cinematic parallels thing is starting to edge out of “everything matches up and is of a piece” territory and into the murkier waters of “we kind of only had one idea, actually.” to reveal that the Reapers’ plan is just stray AI code to ‘preserve life’ is at once very chilling and a bit of a let down; when I think back to when I talked to Sovereign for the first time and I had my initial “GOD IS A MACHINE THAT WANTS TO KILL US” freak out, I was in fact very on board for an evil plan too broad and complex for a human mind to fathom. for it to be this feels kind of predictable and pedestrian.

that said, watching the Leviathan take down a huge-ass Reaper capital ship with its pulse signal was very satisfying.

oh no this is going to get very long, now that you’ve had this fun teaser i’m gonna put the rest under a cut

then we kicked it on over to Thessia and I highkey traumatized my girlfriend. I feel like I should have seen the reveal that the asari were more advanced because they were hoarding prothean tech coming, but I didn’t. hearing and seeing all the asari commandos helping me get wiped out was a real gut punch, but didn’t hold a candle to my frustration at the confrontation with Kai Leng. I’m not mad that the game wouldn’t let me beat him, per se (though I still think it’s ridiculous that I’ve taken down a Reaper by myself and I’m supposed to be afraid of a dude with a knife), but I am pissed that it all happened with combat cut scene magic. this game has given me difficult combat before! if, in fighting Kai Leng, I’d genuinely felt outmatched, I think I would have tolerated it better -- or if the combat had been me fighting the Harvesters and then Kai Leng sneaked around me because that’s what he does, he sneaks. but to have such a relatively easy combat sequence with him that felt very much like winning just to have it snatched away from me... maddening. WHY CAN’T I BEAT THIS ONE GUY AND HIS KNIFE? I don’t want to be all “Kai Leng is a Mary Sue” but like... he got to murder Thane and then beat me in overtime, and his entire vibe is I exist to sell action figures even though that’s not, as far as I know, any part of Mass Effect’s profit model. so it’s just frustrating. and for them to then rub salt in the wound and have him EMAIL ME to be like “lol snowflake r u triggered” was just. MY PATIENCE IS THIN, ME3. DON’T PUSH ME.

seeing Shepard have to admit to failure was a gutting scene, though, and a necessary one. and watching Liara fight with Javik was highkey satisfying, too. 

so anyway, because i was BIG MAD at Cerberus I tracked them first to that one N7 communications mission-- 

(Sample dialogue: Helen: Why aren’t you using cover? You’re going to die! Use cover! Me, jumping out of cover and rushing Cerberus goons trying to melee them to death: BECAUSE I’M MAD)

-- and then to Sanctuary, and HOO BOY WAS THAT A LOT OR WHAT. from the second I heard Oriana’s voice I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here, but seeing in in practice was still creepy af. and like. i’m just gonna go out on a limb and say INDOCTRINATION BAD. I AM NOT A FAN. shout out to that one capitalist volus on the Citadel who was like “lol sanctuary is a scam don’t waste your money” i guess

additionally, last night was significant because I picked not one but TWO ENTIRE renegade convince options, because I saw no reason to be nice to terrorist daddy the illusive man or actual terrorist daddy Mr. Lawson. after I got through all that, Helen explained to me how difficult it apparently is to keep Miranda alive by the end of that confrontation, so I got to do some WHAT LIKE IT’S HARD? preening at how Nice Sheps Finish First sometimes. 

but as usual, the real highlight is getting to know my crew better and talking with them. I finally got some prime flirting in with Liara during Leviathan. it was VERY cute when she was like “man what’s with you rescuing damsels from dig sites? if you end up teaming up with her to save the world and bring down the shadow broker i’ll be very jealous. ... and concerned” and WEIRDLY CUTER when she was like “hey the only tentacled alien who gets to mess with your brain is ME” because Liara is like 115 by now considering how slowly i’m getting through these missions and she still does not know what romance is. 

[no but seriously, Liara does not know what romance is. half the time I’m still going WE’RE STILL DATING, RIGHT? every time she refuses to talk to me. and even after Thessia, when everyone was like “go talk to Liara, she needs you” and even JAVIK of all people was like “you’re dating Liara, right? it’s so obvious” our interactions did not feel particularly... romantic? it’s a tricky needle to thread, obviously, I’m not looking for sloppy makeouts right after millions of her people died, but it still reads as very odd to me. anyway.]

Javik’s story about how he once had a ship like the Normandy and a crew of friends like mine and they all ended up indoctrinated and he had to personally slit their throats went way harder than I ever expected it to. even just the IDEA of having to do that as my Shep upsets me. i’m legit enjoying getting to know Javik, even though i’m still GuessWhoJustGotYelledAt.jpg every time I leave his room. I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT FROM KREIA, JAVIK, YOU’LL NEVER PUSH ME AWAY.

I was surprised by how hard Tali took Miranda’s successful challenge of Mr. Lawson, though in hindsight it makes sense -- with the geth war still happening on top of everything else, I don’t think Tali ever did get the chance to process her anger at her dad being a war criminal and all. and her whole “emergency induction port” bit about the straw was cute as hell tbh. her friendship with Garrus over the comms continues to give me life. 

(in other quarian news, I AM SAD ABOUT KAL’REEGER.)

and jeff. JEFF. after Thessia i literally ran to the bridge and said aloud “Jeff, make me feel better” as I clicked interact with him, and then he made that dig about asari dancers, and i was like NO NOT LIKE THAT. (I mean, what Shep literally said was “now’s not the time for jokes” which is ironic considering she, unlike me, still calls him JOKER) but then he was all DAD ANDERSON SAID I’M SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, I’M SORRY, I’M DOING MY BEST and like. what a fucked up little family we are. he feels guilty that I died saving him, still! apparently he asks EDI about my stress levels and they are BAD and he feels BAD! im crey. OH AND ALSO THE FACT THAT PTSD ASARI LAURA BAILEY WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY ON TIPTREE AND I CAN NEVER TELL HIM BECAUSE THE GAME DOESN’T LET ME DO THAT???? V UPSETTING.

and then of course EDI had to TRIPLE DOWN on all these feelings i was already having by telling me about human resistance and selflessness on Earth and how she wants to turn off her self-preservation code because she’s not about that. I’M SUCH A TOASTER FUCKER HALP.

Garrus being all “well sometimes your best friend gives you a pep talk” speech was cute as hell, and I was strangely charmed when Kaidan was like YOU CAN TELL I’M EXTRA MAD BECAUSE MY VOICE HAS GOTTEN SO DEEP grumbling.

next up: shore leave, and then going after Cerberus will trigger act 3! i may one day finish mass effect after all!

[furymint]

#20: What-ifs/Alternate Timelines (huehuehue) annnd #2: Their emotional weak spots

i answered #20 last night! thank u pep!!!

Nol actually has a really strong Achilles heel for children -- not, for him, because of some need to shelter innocence or childhood, but because of their disadvantage in or inability to fight/survive. Other residents of the Brume take advantage of this -- as long as Nolanel has something to give, he’ll give it to a child that asks. He’s in the habit of setting aside part of his paycheck just for this. Simply, he doesn’t trusts charities to do that dispensing for him. 

Otherwise, his later development runs into a p harsh Antony complex. With his rising demoralization in the military and his less obsessive reliance on the church, Nol stumbles and puts an overbearing amount of personal emphasis on his new family-- so his daughter Elena and Elliot. He flips Elliot’s early worship of him right back. This superiority ideal does end in a healthy point, but Nol is still left pondering how he could betray everything (see: dismantle unhealthy reliances) for one person because by Halone this is making him a less successful soldier (see: fearing for his life in battle).

On the other side, Elliot gets attached too easily. 90% of his acquaintances are people who are just like. other nobility or in trade or things like that. He can get along with many others, but he can’t connect with them, so as soon as someone returns a bit of concern he’s sold on them. I feel like the Bellworks is the best example of that: they welcomed him and he went to war with them. He has too little reserve for the lengths he’ll go to to accommodate people he likes, and he accepts or receives too little in return. In another line, he can find it very easy to make groups of people: The Poor or Criminals all run very similar to him. He makes exceptions in the hive instead of seeing that there isn’t a hive. Elliot would give an arm to help them, but he does it too much for his own gratification.

[sportsleague365]

Back in September, Jose Mourinho had nowhere to sit. Arriving late into an auditorium to watch Sir Alex Ferguson deliver an opening speech at a UEFA coaches' conference in Nyon, Manchester United's manager scanned the room for seats. The only ones free and accessible were next to Arsene Wenger. "No, it isn't possible," was the Frenchman's deliciously pithy response to Mourinho's request to take one, according to Marca (h/t the Daily Mail). If it isn't an apocryphal version of events, Wenger in that single moment proved true the age-old adage that football keeps you young. Young and childish, that is. Schoolboy stuff from a 67-year-old should be cherished. Reports of Wenger leaving the room with a yellow 'Voyeur—kick me!' post-it note stuck to his back as revenge, along with Diego Simeone giving Thomas Tuchel a wedgie, have yet to be substantiated. Some eight months on, were Mourinho given free rein to sit wherever he liked, he might find it equally as troubling. Wenger would perhaps make a beeline for the gregarious Carlo Ancelotti or his friend Zinedine Zidane. Both peer and pupil make for good company. Maybe he could discuss with his compatriot reports from the Mirror's John Cross linking him with the Real Madrid job, should the younger man fail to guide them to the Spanish title. Zidane to Arsenal in a straight swap, anyone? It would be football's most exciting trade since the summer of 1980, when Arsenal swapped new signing Clive Allen for Crystal Palace left-back Kenny Sansom, despite the striker having only weeks earlier arrived at Highbury from QPR. For Mourinho, invariably, it is less straightforward. No man is an island, but the Portuguese gives it a good go. If he were, he'd complain the sea was giving him a funny look. The bloody sand too, gets everywhere. While it is widely accepted Wenger now operates outside the sphere of the Continent's very finest tactical minds (except perhaps by the man himself, and Arsenal's board), Mourinho's position in the coaching hierarchy is more nebulous. If whatever Wenger does echoes the past, and the new breed that occupy the top four places currently in the Premier League represent an enlightened progressive future, Mourinho perhaps finds himself in the awkward peripheral space between the two. Somehow the world's least likely middleman has become a bridge linking the old with the new. Convenient, his critics would argue, given Chelsea boss Antonio Conte has walked all over him in terms of results. At 54, Mourinho is too old to be in the spring of his career and yet too young for it to be deemed the autumn years either. He's nine years older than Mauricio Pochettino (45), eight than Pep Guardiola (46), seven than Conte (47) and five than Jurgen Klopp (49). It's worth remembering here how football years are like dog years. Was it really last season Mourinho was Chelsea manager? Ahead of Arsenal's hosting of Manchester United on Sunday, in a game that will likely prove integral in this season's battle for a top-four place, Wenger and Mourinho should perhaps park the oldest and most embittered rivalry to take solace in one another's company. There may be a shred of comfort in that they are not alone in feeling an acute sense of usurpation when staring up at the top four. Stick all the Premier League bosses in a room and the top table would quickly work itself out. It's not hard to imagine Conte pouring wine for Guardiola while Pochettino breaks presses bread with Klopp. The oldest boy band in the land has had the odd niggle with one another over the years, but there is a pervading sense of genuine respect between them. They are the new guard, with membership closely guarded. It's unlikely any would invite Mourinho over. He'd likely be in the corner sneering with Tony Pulis. In fairness, with Manchester City just a point ahead of United in the table, Guardiola has not been without his critics either. His rivalry with Mourinho was supposed to make Manchester the epicenter of the country for the first time since Oasis were in their pomp. As it turns out, United and City have been more Beady Eye and Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds—shoots of promise, but for the large part distinctly underwhelming. By his own admission, Guardiola has found English football difficult and has vowed to do better. Many have given him a pass on the proviso City qualify for the UEFA Champions League. Some of the attacking football has been as sublime as the defending has been ridiculous, but a potential forward line comprising Gabriel Jesus, Leroy Sane and Raheem Sterling is so exciting only the truly curmudgeonly aren't at least a little bit curious as to what will happen next. Liverpool's title tilt quickly dissolved when a tight squad, and a less than tight defence, was stretched to its limits. Klopp is just about on schedule, though, and there are few dissenting voices of any real note at Liverpool. The work done by both Conte and Pochettino has rightly been lauded. Few can dispute that, in this moment in time, they are the two best managers in England managing the two best teams. Given the mess Conte inherited and the fact Tottenham have the sixth-biggest budget in the league, it's a tight call for the Manager of the Year. The aforementioned quartet are the poster boys for a generation of fans who deem Mourinho's perceived Machiavellian tendencies to be as unoriginal as they are boorish. Earlier in the week the Sunday Times' art critic Waldemar Januszczak tweeted: "I think I am going to have to write a book about how art fell into the hands of moral improvers and became a branch of social work." It would have been no less pertinent had he substituted football for art. The game softening itself around the edges and sanding down some of its more laddish elements is to be celebrated—the coming together in support of Aaron Lennon being one such example just this week—but the priggish element that see Mourinho as some dark malevolent force can be pious to the point of biliousness. You'd think he was a war criminal reading some of the more acidic polemics about him. Sure he's bitter, bullying, belligerent, bellicose and a bit of a bastard (and that's just the Bs), but every pantomime needs its villain. As the richest one in the world, the Premier League is no exception. Just as his Manchester United side has been with fourth place all season, Mourinho is on the other side of the fence peering over at the top table. Not that he'd want to join them, but if he did, there would probably need to be a metamorphosis not dissimilar to John Travolta's Danny Zuko in Grease, where he ditches the leather for a preppy look in order to fit in better with the jocks. Tactically, philosophically and culturally they are as far apart as it gets. At least on the surface. In Ed Smith's marvelous essay Manager Motivations: How 4 Personality Types Define Them All, published by Bleacher Report in September, on Guardiola he wrote: "Naturally approving of Guardiola's ends—attractive and creative football—we tend to gloss over his means. He is utterly ruthless, a ruthlessness determined by whether a player adheres to his ideology." The same could also be said of Klopp, Pochettino and Conte. All of them are hard men, the equal of Mourinho. All of them are ruthless. Notwithstanding the obvious injury issues, is how Klopp has treated Daniel Sturridge really that different to how Mourinho has been with Anthony Martial? Had Mourinho spent £33 million on a young striker, as Conte did on Michy Batshuayi, and then proceed to give him 113 minutes of Premier League football, his detractors would have sent petitions to Kofi Annan. As for Pochettino, he got Emmanuel Adebayor to leave a substitutes' bench with heated seats. He must be terrifying. Although Mourinho has already delivered the EFL Cup in his debut campaign at Old Trafford and United remain strong favourites to win the Europa League after a 1-0 win in the semi-final first leg away to Celta Vigo, all season the question has been asked if this new breed of younger managers has overtaken him, led by Chelsea's irrepressible Conte. Given everything with Mourinho is personal, what Conte has done at Chelsea will kill him. The Italian's achievement, if he gets his side over the line in these final four games, echoes Mourinho's own in the capital. With Conte's side demonstrating all the cut and dash of his own vintage title-winning teams, watching Chelsea will fill Mourinho with the dull ache of seeing a past love with a new flame at a mutual friend's wedding. West London is clearly over him. Conte has overseen a 37-point positive swing from the same stage last season, of which Mourinho was manager for the first 16 games. United are six points better off under Mourinho than they were under Louis van Gaal. Perhaps after a summer outlay of £153 million, a little more could have been expected. "I'm not surprised by Chelsea's success," Mourinho told Football Focus recently, per the Evening Standard. "I'm surprised because I thought they were demanding a different kind of football." Mourinho does a wonderful Bruce Banner-to-Hulk impersonation. The green-eyed monster would be frightening, were his interpretation of Chelsea's current state not so hilarious. As a deflection tactic, it only draws more attention to him. All managers at the very top level have a shelf life. It's not gone unnoticed how, inthe eight seasons after taking the Porto job, Mourinho won six league titles and two Champions Leagues. Since then, in the intervening seven years he has won just two titles, one apiece with Real Madrid and Chelsea. Have Mourinho's methods, once universally hailed as being cutting edge, become blunt with time? Have his shock and awe tactics with players become more shock and bore? Luke Shaw, Chris Smalling, Phil Jones, Jesse Lingard, Marcus Rashford, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Martial and the now departed Bastian Schweinsteigerhave all been called out publicly at some point or other over the campaign. When even Paul Pogba and Zlatan Ibrahimovic have been given short shrift on occasion, there must be a sense among United's players of, "it's my turn now, is it?" whenever they find themselves under the bus. The machismo over his players' injuries has admittedly been plain odd at times, though as part of BT Sport's punditry team on Thursday night, Rio Ferdinand expressed an element of sympathy (via the Metro): "I think with the modern players sometimes they're not as eager to get out there and play. They don't risk themselves as much as those players in the past." It's not just the players that have felt the bullwhip snap of his tongue. If Mourinho were ever left alone with the fixture list computer it would probably spend more time in the treatment room than Shaw. Laments over United having to play loads of matches in order to win multiple trophies is more than a little needy. Who'd have thought that would be the case? "Coaching is about recognising the good qualities of the opponents and recognising the fragilities of the opponent," said Mourinho in April 2015 after his Chelsea side ground out a typically pragmatic 1-0 win over Manchester United, per the Daily Star. "And, more than that, it's to recognise the good qualities of my team—and the bad qualities of my team. Because my team also has bad qualities, and it's very important that me and my players, we recognise our bad qualities. One of the secrets of good coaching is, 'Can you hide your bad qualities from your opponents and even from the pundits?'" There's no doubt a style of football that places pragmatism front and centre cuts against the zeitgeist. Mourinho still gets results, but he's unfashionable. He'll argue he doesn't care, but as the renowned Austrian psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankl once said: "Even a genius cannot completely resist his zeitgeist, the spirit of his time." Mourinho will claim it is tradition, not fashion, that has steered his thinking, but placing to one side for just a second a chronic lack of goals, there's little doubt this United team is one of the most attack-minded he has overseen in his career. It's definitely the most profligate. The problem for Mourinho is both Conte and Pochettino have been able to marry pragmatism with expansive football this season. In comparison, Mourinho's United look a little staid, never quite sure whether they are Martha or Arthur. Still, the majority of United supporters seem quietly content. A tailored version of the Herman's Hermits'song "I'm Into Something Good" is a familiar refrain heard at Old Trafford, and particularly at away games. Woke up this morning feeling fine Got Man United on my mind Jose's got us playing the way United should, oh yeah Something tells me I'm into something good. It's a chant that delights Mourinho, he told Portuguese television channel SIC (h/t the Mirror). Still, there's a sense it is as much an attempt to inspire a self-fulling prophecy as it is the actual reality. However, while the football Mourinho has United playing is far from perfect, it's still a million miles away from Van Gaal's tenure of acute ennui. In any case, only the most red-eyed supporter would not accept that, when required, Ferguson was the most pragmatic manager in the business. In European competition in particular, United were often happy to lean on the ropes, take whatever the opposition could throw at them and then hit on the counter-attack. "People talk about style and flair but what is that? Sometimes I ask myself about the future, and maybe the future of football is a beautiful green grass carpet without goals, where the team with more ball possession wins the game. The way people analyse style and flair is to take the goals off the pitch," Mourinho once famously opined, per the Guardian. Some would argue, on a literal level, it is Mourinho who has taken the goals off the pitch this season. Just 51 have been scored in 34 Premier League matches. That's only one more than Bournemouth. Manchester City have 14 more, with Liverpool and Tottenham Hotspur having each outscored them by 20 and Chelsea 21. Where perhaps Mourinho has fallen behind his peers is in the coaching, or lack thereof, of his forwards. When in February a gushing Eden Hazard spoke of Conte's sessions being superior to Mourinho's, it was hard to separate his words from the fact the previous season the pair were clearly not getting along. "Tactical training. We do more with Conte. We know exactly what to do on the pitch, where I have to go, the defenders [know] where they have to go," revealed Hazard to Sky Sports, per the Metro. "We know that to create movement I have to not even get the ball, but to create movement and space for others. I think now I understand that football is not only with the ball at my feet." Yet now, watching Chelsea it's clear the forwards are as well drilled as the defenders. coordinated attacks seemlike quite a rare thing in football. A number of goals scored by both Chelsea and Tottenham this term have seem orchestrated as if they have already been fine-tuned on the training ground. It's not just left to individuals to break down the opposition with a moment of brilliance, a la Rashford's free-kick on Thursday, but a collective effort. It's like with Gonzalo Higuain's first for Juventus in Wednesday night's win in Monaco. A thing of beauty; engineered beauty. Hazard seems freer than he's ever been, yet he has been told where to go. What looks intuitive, and of course to an extent is, has been worked out by Conte. There's no dispute those who see Mourinho as being antiquated in his methods and philosophies have had plenty of ammunition this season. Having overseen the club's worst start to a Premier League campaign, with five wins from their first 14 matches, United were effectively out of the title race by October. It's probably worth reiterating how they are the most expensively assembled squad in the history of football. Last weekend's 1-1 draw against Swansea City set a new club record of 25 league games without defeat. That over the same period they have reached double figures for home league draws for only the second time in their history, 11 in 1980/81 was the only time they have "beaten" that number, says everything about United's debut season under Mourinho. Scoff all you will, but he's made them the most difficult side to beat in the Premier League, the most difficult Manchester United side to beat in the club's gilded history. When he said he wants to "close the circle" of Manchester United's history by winning the Europa League, it led to quotes about Europe's little brother competition, made on returning to Chelsea in 2013, being mercilessly recycled (via the Telegraph): "I don't want to win the Europa League. It would be a big disappointment for me. I don't want my players to feel the Europa League is our competition." He might in private moments wince when he reads his words back, or more than likely probably won't, but if United see off Celta Vigo and go on to triumph in Stockholm, the club's supporters, players and board will care not one iota about the manager's loose mouth. In his first season he will have made Manchester United multiple trophy winners again. And that, at even the biggest clubs in the world, is a noteworthy achievement. For all the criticism, and it has been far from from perfect, the bare facts don't lie. Of the four competitions Manchester United have competed for this season they are likely to win two of them. That would be two more than any of Guardiola, Klopp or Pochettino will probably manage. The purists and puritans might not like it, maybe even the other managers too, but that would be more than good enough to merit a place at football's top table. Read more Premier League news on BleacherReport.com http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2707922-jose-mourinho-still-merits-a-place-at-premier-leagues-top-table #JoseMourinho #PremierLeague #ManchesterUnited #AntonioConte #ArseneWenger