#people who can do insanely complicated math in their head

[elizabeth-dicewielder]

Big fan of when stories provide no justification/explanation for why main characters have unique, insanely powerful abilities. The writer(s) really just said “Well of course they can do that, they’re my specialist little character. It makes perfect sense.” And they’re right

[quirkwizard]

So recently I have been on a huge tabletop RPG kick so I thought it would be fun to talk about Class 1-A playing their own tabletop game, both the characters they'd play and how they'd be as players. For the sake of this, I will be writing in the context of Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition since that's the system myself and others would be the most familiar with.

Rikido Sato: Half Orc Life Cleric Doesn't really get the game too much. Tends to forget the rules a lot and his own abilities. Just kind of picked a class at random. Is the king of bringing snacks and the like, all of which are homemade.

Mashirao Ojiro: Wood Elf Open Hand Monk Pretty average in all respects as a player. Not too remarkable in all respects. Doesn't realized how bad the monk is until they started playing, but is too attached to the character and their concept.

Koji Koda: Firbolg Shepard Druid Is only really here to hang out with his friends. Too shy to really do any roleplay with the rest of the gang, mostly doing small moments with his animals friends. Accidently made an overpowered build.

Minoru Mineta: Dhampir Phantom Rogue Knows the rules, but is a power gamer. Uses the game more as a power fantasy to look as cool as possible at all times, even if it is dumb, though will quickly panic if anything goes slightly wrong.

Hanta Sero: Gith Horizon Walker Ranger Really interested in all the lore and history of whatever the dungeon master came up with. The kind that dungeon masters either love or dread. Is the one constantly asking question and cracking the odd joke about it.

Toru Hagakure: Changeling Arcane Trickster Rogue Super big into the roleplay of it all and is always excited. Mostly took Changeling so she'd have the excess to play as many roles as possible. Probably makes little masks to remind people who she currently is.

Yuga Aoyama: Aasimar Glory Paladin Is insanely devoted to the role of the noble paladin, much to the detriment of everyone else. Likely says the line "But it's what my character would do more then any other player. Constantly hints at a backstory that nobody is biting on.

Mezo Shoji: Hobgoblin Gloomstalker Ranger Not the biggest into roleplay, does fairly well with the actual gameplay. Plays the typically reserved ranged. Tried to tie his and Koda's backstory together to try and take some of the stress off of him in terms of roleplaying.

Kyoka Jiro: Half Elf Whispers Bard Wasn't really sure about all of this before play and went with a bard because she liked the idea of playing music. It was a rocky start, but quickly got into it and started having fun. Will make custom songs and playlists for the party, as well ambient tracks and battle music.

Denki Kaminari: Air Genesi Storm Sorcerer Wanted to try it out because it was popular. Went with something he thought was cool and did not expect it to be so complicated. Needs to be constantly handed the book and remined of the rules in order to make sure he gets it. The amount of math hurts his head. Eijiro Kirishima: Goliath Giant Barbarian Like Denki, wanted to get into because it was popular. Bakugou helped a lot with building the character. Has a lot of fun smashing stuff. Plays his role pretty well, even if his character doesn't go beyond the nice brute whose name is very close to Kirishima's own.

Mina Ashido: Satyr Glamour Bard One of the students the most into the roleplaying. Is very light hearted and goofy about the whole thing. Can play a lot in bard stereotypes because she thinks it's funny. Another instigator, though mostly from her getting too into character at the worst of times. Fumikage Tokoyami: Tiefling Fiend Warlock Has been playing the game the longest and super familiar with all of it. Always makes characters he thinks are "cool", which means are super gothic and depress, both in class and in race. Does occasionally have Dark Shadow dress up and roleplay as his patron. Ochako Uraraka: Fairy Zealot Barbarian Ochako just wants to smash stuff. She has a lot of fun rolling dice and doing cool stuff with her friends, both good and bad. Likes playing the typically pixie before going nuts. Can be an instigator, but tends to backtrack when she realizes just how badly it goes wrong. Tsuyu Asui: Halfling Moon Druid Like Koda, is mostly here to have fun with friends. Often plays mediator both in and out of character. Does a good job with roleplaying thanks to how much she had to play pretend with her simplies. Always causes a riot whenever she becomes a dinosaur. Shoto Todoroki: Hill Dwarf Fighter Champion One of the worst players both in game and in roleplay. Played a character Izuku basically made for him. Is somehow still one of the best because he is constantly getting amazing rolls at the most critical moments, much to the frustration of Bakugou.

Katsuki Bakugo: Custom Lineage Chronurgy Wizard Powergamer, no question. He knows the rules back and forth to make the most broken build possible. Acts like D&D is a game you can win, even when it comes to roleplaying. Not a full on murder hobo, but by far the biggest instigator in the group.

Tenya Iida: Warforged Devotion Paladin Very much devoted to the rules, both in and out of the game. Gets confused when people say that he's doing a good job at playing a robot. Collects a lot of dice. One of the best Dungeon Masters of any of the students, though can be rather controlling at times. Momo Yaoyorozu: High Elf Forge Cleric A really good player with the rules though can be pretty awkward with the roleplay with how much she tries to get into it. One of the best DMs in the class. Makes custom miniatures for everyone in the party. Puts a lot of money to make the ultimate game room. Izuku Midoriya: Variant Human Bladesinging Wizard The perfect player. Knows the roles, but focuses more on making characters. Takes the most notes, pay attention, and makes sure everyone is having fun and feels included. Likely gets roped into the role of dungeon master more then anyone else because of these reasons.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.

My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.

I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.

This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:

1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts

On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]

This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.

The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.

And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.

It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.

2. THE GIRL

Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.

She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.

She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.

So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.

She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.

Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.

(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)

So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.

Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.

3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?

Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?

Yep.

Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.

For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.

That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)

A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.

I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.

How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!

(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)

4. The multicultural extravaganza!

1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.

By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.

Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!

Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except … honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.

It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.

Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.

...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.

5. A wonderful horrible protagonist

A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)

Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.

This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.

Like so.

For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?

As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.

(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)

This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.

Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.

sidebar: A word about the ending

I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.

Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.

I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!

But no, that's it. That's all, folks.

It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.

As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)

I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.

And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.

Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.

Smash it, baby.

Still want to see some of these mysteries?

Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!

It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.

Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

[byrdstrolls]

These people are who you know them to be. This story will begin the only way it can. 

Hanagi Cheong is at work, messaging Bee on her computer. She is typing, slowly, methodically. Sometimes pausing to simply stare at the screen. Sometimes pausing to backspace and start over. No matter how she spins it, it will be clear to the violetblood she is in desperate need of someone competent in statistics. Bee’s minor Hanagi has a habit of mocking as useless. She will likely not shut up about it for a thousand sweeps. Yet this silly, caliginous worry is but a mask for a deeper, more pressing one.

[HEY] The message reads. [I’VE BEEN FUCKING, SIFTING THROUGH THE NUMBERS WE GOT FROM WHEN I DID THAT HACKING AT THE ACADEMY. ABOUT ABIDEL, AND THE INTOXICANT, AND I COULD USE A FRESH SET OF EYES TO CONFIRM YOU’RE SEEING WHAT I’M SEEING.]

The doctor's head rests on her arched hands, the husktops glow lighting up her glasses. How much exactly does she trust the violetblood progress here? She does not worry about Bee turning them into the fleet. She worries about her slipping onto this project and gripping it so tightly in manic paranoia and fear and guilt she doesn’t sleep for weeks. But how much longer can she talk to nobody about what she has found, what she has seen? Monark is not the only one susceptible to paranoia. And every time she dares venture into these files, Hanagi only finds more reasons to be afraid. Slowly, she lifts her head, and presses send. 

[are you Sure?] Bee answers, a couple minutes later. 

[WHY ASK ME? DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT?]

[i’m not always a Successful Arbitrator of what i can and Cannot handle.]

[WELL NEITHER AM I. YOU KNOW I WOULDN’T BE HERE IF I WASN’T DESPERATE.]

[am I interpreting it here correctly, that you’re coming to me with a Statistics related problem? :)<]

[HA HA HA. LIVE IT UP.]

[It’s Almost As If There Are Compelling Reasons For Someone To Minor In Such A Thing]

[DON’T TAKE THIS JUST OUT OF SPITE AND PRIDE IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT.]

[i can handle Math.]

[IT’S NOT JUST MATH. IT’S A LOT OF SHIT. OKAY? IT’S HORRIFYING.]

[hanagi,]

[i’ve got your back. i’ll tap out if i need. Okay?] 

Hanagi pauses, and then links her to the drive where her ongoing snooping has been taking place.

.

.

.

.

.

[Hanagi.] Bee says, several hours later.

[UH OH, WHY ARE WE USING THE MORE SECURE CHANNEL?]

[when you asked me to Confirm what you were seeing in this data, what Exactly did you want me to confirm?]

[WELL, FROM MY BAREBONES CURSORY GLANCE IT REALLY SEEMED LIKE THEY SAID SHE HAD KILLED LIKE, FORTY SEVEN PSSIONICS IN THE LAST SWEEP. WHICH FELT VERY HIGH TO ME. I COULDN’T STOMACH LOOKING DEEPER]

[i don’t have Good News]

[LAY IT ON ME MISS STATISTICS.]

[i don’t know if this is complicated enough to Actually count as statistics, Doctor, more me Looking at something you didn’t want to look at, but sure]

[in ∅ ∈ KFx]

[those forty seven encrypted files are not individual patients. they are groups.]

[WHAT?]

[she killed 47 groups of four pssionics. there would be two controls and two standards in each group. after the two standards died, and she had her data, she’d make the remaining unaffected control trolls the new standard group for two new control pssionics. she repeated this process 47 times, killing a total of 98 pssionics.]

[...]

[FUCK]

[the amount of energy she’s siphoning off into those two suns. is Insane. you were right about her bullshitting her averages. whatever she’s doing to those pssionics, Really Works.]

[YOU’RE SURE?]

[that’s not even the half of it, Hanagi. can you come Home? i feel like i’m losing my mind looking at these files.]

[OF COURSE.]

.

.

.

.

.

“You should really go to bed, Hanagi,” Bee says, several hours later.

“I can’t believe you’re fucking saying that to me.” Hanagi retorts. 

“How the student becomes the teacher.” The violetblood says, continuing to pin stuff on the ongoing corkboard the two of them had put up. 

“I’ll be fine.” 

“You have work in four hours.”

“And you don’t?”

“We’re… in over our heads.”

“You think I’ve never pulled a fucking all nighter before? I went to med school.” 

“I mean we're in over our heads with this, Hanagi.” She huffs, rapping her knuckle on the board. “So The Intoxicant has, for sweeps, been synthesizing Abidel’s blood to create a dangerous addictive and incredibly powerful pssionic enhancer.”

“So?” She retorts.

“So how are we going to get Abby out?” She says. “WIthout alerting her? Without her turning up every rock in the universe to find the troll on top which this entire deranged plan centers?” Bee says, gesturing. 

“A bridge we’ll cross when we get to it.” 

“Why am I the voice of reason here?” She says. 

“It was your plan. You’d give up so easily?”

“We’d need help to do this. A lot of it.” She answers. 

“How can you just look at this shit? I’m a doctor. You’re a scientist.” 

“A stretch of the definition of the word. I had a bachelors. You don’t need a job to feel empathy. I’m a person, Hanagi. Any person with a bloodpusher couldn’t stand to look at this but needs to. If I didn’t want to be here I wouldn’t be.” 

“I’ll call in sick,” Hanagi says. 

“Your grave” She answers. And the girls continue to work in silence. 

.

.

.

.

.

“You get it too, don’t you?” Hanagi says, curled up in a ball as the sun sets, marking the early beginning of the next night. “You understand from these charts-” 

“I know how close she is.” Bee answers, morosely. As much of a statistician as she ever was.

“What are you looking at?” Cheong prompts, glancing over her shoulder. 

“Longse’s history with the fleet. So we know what we’re dealing with.” She replies, typing. “You know. Big picture.” 

A lot of the documents of The Intoxicants rise to power are public. A career that kicked off with a long stint in the propaganda ministries, an exponential rise to head of the department. Only for her to resign at the top of her game. A grant for scientific achievement and funding, a long hundred sweeps spent in the field, where Longse would throw out new chemical and physical weapon patents every ten or so sweeps. This constant juggling of her life as a general, and a scientist, and a politician, continues for centuries. Longse seems well inclined to give others the spotlight. She has quietly been perfecting her work for a lifetime, her accomplishments becoming more impressive as the centuries pass by. 

Right about 50 sweeps ago, there is a black hole in the data. 

It makes sense, knowing how much about this colony's existence had been carefully kept from the public eye. Maybe they should have quit looking then. Yet, with the morbid curiosity that keeps trolls eyes on car wrecks happening on the street, the two women keep digging. Into deeply classified documents. By about 25 sweeps ago, the war on this planet had been long since over. But that doesn’t mean The Intoxicant stopped bombing it, no. The entire planet was repurposed as a massive weapons testing ground for the inventor, getting her fleet patents at an unprecedented rate, until eventually, she blew it up, six sweeps ago, beyond repair. You see, after Hascha had been discharged from the fleet for his embarrassing surrender and consequent defeat, the fleet's ruling control over Corsica had been given fully to Faeria Longse. 

They are silent as they both stare at Bee’s Husktop screen. They know the name of Mondes' colony as well as any of the Cheongs. The two of them remain here for a long while, or a short while. In the end they can’t recall how long it was. The borders of minutes are blurred the less a mind has sleep. It’s even more difficult to define time when trying to understand something that feels so much bigger than it. It has started to really sink in for both of them now. The genocide of the past. The genocide of the present. 

The looming chilling prophecy of the genocide of the future. 

.

.

.

.

.

There is a knock at the door. 

“Hanagi?” Mondes asks. 

“Yeah? What? What are you doing up this late?” she calls back. 

“I’m up the same time I always am.” The oliveblood says, entering the room the two shared, illuminating it with a sudden burst of hallway light. Hanagi groans, squinting, and Bee hurriedly shuts her husktop. 

“Did you guys stay up all day?” He asks. 

The man stands there for a second, processing what the girls have done to their room. 

“...okay” He says slowly. “Just what exactly am I looking at here?”

“It’s a lot,” Hanagi manages. 

“Yeah, we don’t wanna dump it on you right before class.” Bee pipes up.

“Mondes doesn’t have class.” Hanagi reminds.

“It’s summer” He retorts, folding his arms. “I’ve been out for nearly a perigee. Did you really not notice?” 

“I have a full time job,” Bee says. 

“Fine. I’ll give you that one. But do I really not get an explanation for this? You’re being so suspicious.” 

Hanagi gestures at their asymmetric piles of paper and corkboard.

“This was ME” She defends. “ALL MY shit. And Bee told me to go to bed. I didn’t listen.” 

“You both have work in thirty minutes” Mondes replies. “I’m gonna call you in so you don’t pass out midway through a fitting and put someone's leg on backwards. Or pour boiling coffee on yourself”

“Ha Ha Ha.” Hanagi complains. “Ha. Fine.” 

“Go to bed” Mondes orders. “And as soon as your pans are both working again, tell me what the fuck you’re doing.” He finishes, and exits the room.

.

.

.

.

.

Two six hour naps later, Hanagi sits at the end of the kitchen tables as Bee makes her coffee across the room. 

“I’m trying to think, of how to fucking say this” She exhales. The two of them continue to move through space as if in some kind of shock. Dissociative and careful. 

“Okay” The rust huffs as Bee sets down a mug in front of her. 

“From the beginning,” She says. “When Bee was at the fleet academy she met a limeblood there, Abidel Tevian, a pssionic amplifier who Nandor put through a lot of horrifying cybernetic augmentation to their physical body.” She pauses. 

“...okay” Mondes says, his hands laying immovable at the table. 

“Bee, since she was revived, has wanted to rescue them. I agreed, knowing it would be difficult and maybe risky, but not able to stand such a malpractice, terrifying misuse of prosthetics technology. So lately, I’ve been poking around Fleet files to find more information on this.”

“Okay.” Mondes repeats. 

“And we kind of just found” Hanagi cuts herself off, silent for a moment before continuing.

“-something that really raises both the stakes and the difficulty of this situation.” 

“Ah,” He responds

Hanagi glances at him, and then back at Bee. “Tap out.” She says, requesting Bee take over the explanation. “You know the math better.” She lies, not wanting to dive too deep into what she had seen, that all consuming sinking feeling in her chest.

“Okay.” Bee answers “Do you know the fleet general, The Intoxicant?”

Mondes blinks, momentarily, a rapid surge of emotion consuming him. 

“Yes.” He says quietly. 

The girls share a glance as if not sure how deep Mondes’s knowledge went, not sure how to continue. He doesn’t not elaborate. So, eventually, Bee continues. 

“Okay” She says, poised like a soldier giving a report. Having more practice than Hanagi in weaponizing her detachment against her horror and grief. 

“Since Abby was a grub, The Intoxicant has been synthesizing their blood to make a pssionic enhancer. An incredibly powerful one. That increases output by tenfold. It is addictive to the user, to the point the physical dependance makes their bodies degrade until death. The formula works, Longse is just attempting to make it safe past a certain threshold. She has calculated the budget of the Alternian fleet. She has calculated how much the increased energy output would benefit them financially. And how much the short life spans of pssionics would lose them money. And by way of these variables, and many more, created an …equation” Bee pauses to breathe, for just a moment.

“...An equation that can be solved to discover the ideal number of sweeps the pssionics need to last. If they live to this certain point, that's when the enhancer begins to be well worth its financial detriments, and actually starts saving the fleet a lot of money. After she reaches this point, Longse intends to patent the enhancer, and… roll it out to be used by the fleet. Something that would increase the fleets financial gain from their contest, but also increase the pace the fleet burns through pssionics dramatically. It would make their lives absolutely miserable, and more difficult to escape, due the formula’s addictive qualities, and due to the fleet being the only one that has access to Abidel, and the patent for Culucaminegic Ampheparietakinetic Pssiopote-” She narrates, with all the range of emotion of a text to speech program. 

“You don’t have to say the whole fucking thing, Bee. Longse just calls it CAP in her notes.” Hanagi pitches in, bristling at her formality. 

“I’m sorry.” Bee pauses, continuing to act so reservedly. “CAP’s patent” She says, “I just wanted to give you a better idea of it’s chemical makeup. Longse accomplishing this would be bad, because-” 

“I don’t need to know it’s chemical makeup… But I think I understand why it’s bad.” Mondes says softly. “What are we gonna do?” 

“You’re-” Hanagi stumbles. “Not gonna tell us not to do this shit?” 

“Why would I tell you not to try and stop a genocide?” He says quietly. 

“Okay but” Hanagi stumbles. “The fucking scale of this thing is- are we really gonna play those odds again? We were SECONDS from dying in the prison break.” She says, seeming to have become more trepidatious since getting some real sleep.

“Well,” Bee begins. Funny, how they seem to have switched places in the argument since waking. “Considering-” She continues. 

“I just! I’m a fucking prosthetics doctor! I’m not a fucking, rebel mastermind. We barely scraped by. Barely.” She rambles.

“Give yourself a little credit Hanagi” Bee replies, stubbornly. “You had five nights. You made it work. Even in her most generous estimates, The Intoxicant thinks it will take few perigees for CAP to go public. You had no resources when you broke into the prison. Right now, we have money. We have access to Longse and Nandor’s files. We have connections with several talented individuals. And most importantly. We have time.”

“Says Bee Monark, the voice of reason” Hanagi retorts, bitingly. 

“You said the same thing” She retorts. “Last night. Bridges we’ll cross when we get to them. But now that Mondes is in the room we’re not friends anymore?”

“Did you want me to tell you not to do it?” Mondes answers, after a pause. “Do you want me to say no, it’s totally fine if everyone in this room just forgets what they know? I won’t.”

There is a long silence. Neither Hanagi nor Bee able to think of how to respond to that. Hanagi stares at the foam of her coffee, it is probably getting cold by now. Losing herself in the intricacies of lines of the heart in bubbles. Watching them pop and fade at a snails pace.

“I don’t even know where to fucking start to try.” Hanagi says, setting down her mug, having drunk none of it. “We’d need so many things. We’d need to know a way to get to her satellite without being tracked by the fleet.”

“I can rig Mondes’s ship to be more stealthy.” Bee offers. 

��Okay, but, we still gotta find the plans for the satellite, figure out how to break into it. We might need a guy on the inside, honestly! We gotta figure out how to survive the security measures. How to have alibis. How to keep this all secret after having been- in the public eye for so long!”

“Maybe we could make some kind of smoke screen.” Bee says, ever the tactician. Mondes has stood up silently, and is pacing. 

“Something to distract the Alternian public and cloak our actions.” She elaborates. 

Mondes has pulled a tiny paper card, long since forgotten, from a pocket in his wallet. Holding it in his hands as he paces. 

“Like, start some drama with one of the other siblings or some shit?” Hanagi extrapolates. 

Mondes halts suddenly. 

“Okay” He says. “I’ve got it” 

The other two trolls stare at him. 

“What?” Bee asks. 

The oliveblood sits back down. He places his old music teacher's card on the table. 

“It’s probably get a lot of media attention,” He says. “If I attempted to be the first lowblood to enter a very prestigious orchestra contest, wouldn’t it?”

[sunsafewriting]

AU.

Ava starts a dumb YouTube channel where she makes complicated recipes badly. Maybe people show up for that, but they kind of stay for her conversations with her roommate — who stays off-screen. Mostly.

-

chapter 1 excerpt:

“I’m going to be a YouTuber,” Ava announces, as soon as she’s through the door. “Like you.”

This is enough to get Beatrice to put down her book. She’s curled up in the corner of the couch, looking soft and warm and as about as relaxed as Beatrice ever gets, and Ava just wants to flop down beside her, put her head in Beatrice’s lap, and steal as much closeness as she can. 

But Beatrice is already standing, already crossing the room to help Ava with the grocery bags: the couch snuggles — devastatingly — are not to be. 

“I’m not a YouTuber, ” Beatrice says, affronted. 

Will it ever not be fun to see the little crinkle she gets between her eyebrows? No. Every day, it delights Ava more. “You post videos on YouTube.”

“They’re supplemental materials for my freshman class. And less than half of them watch it.”

It’s so tempting to take this opportunity to tell Beatrice that the fact she’s a TA now is super sexy, just to watch her blush and stutter, but Ava’s got a point to make. They can double back later. It’s not like Beatrice will blush any less. 

“Exactly. A YouTuber.”

“I’m not even in the videos, Ava.”

This is untrue. Beatrice’s face is not in the video, but her hands are. She steps through the equations on paper, carefully writing out each of the digits, each of the symbols — Ava doesn’t even know what most of them are, but it’s hot that Beatrice is confident enough to do it all in pen. Ava was always a pencil girl when it came to maths. Pencil and eraser. 

“Okay, fine, so you’re not a YouTuber in the traditional vloggy sense. And I’m not going to be one, either. Obviously. But my New Year’s resolution was to keep a journal, and that has not been going swimmingly.” It’s February, and she hasn’t got so much as a dot point. “So, I figured I should stop trying to write stuff, and I should film stuff! And then maybe someone will watch it and I’ll get to make friends with an internet stranger. And I haven’t even told you the best part.” 

Beatrice’s eyebrow goes up. “It gets better than internet strangers?”

Ava loves random people online; they’re funny and weird and only sometimes too weird. But Beatrice still believes the internet is for finding information and not for socialising. Which is something that Ava discovered shortly after they first met, years ago, when she tried to find Beatrice on Instagram and Facebook to absolutely no success, and had to actually ask for her number. Insane, but worth it. 

“I’m going to film myself learning to cook all the random shit I put on my food bucket list. That’s three birds with one stone, Bea.” 

“Very efficient of you.” 

“I knew you’d be impressed.”

Perhaps impressed isn’t quite the word. Slightly bemused is probably accurate. But Ava lives to dazzle Beatrice with amazing feats like actually completing chores she says she’s going to do, and figuring out how to climb onto the roof of the STEM library on campus. 

Admittedly, the library one went over better with Lilith than Beatrice. Ava likes to believe that her sick parkour skills that day won her back a little of the dignity she lost after Lilith found out she watches Beatrice’s lecture recap videos. 

“If you want, I’ll teach you how to use my video editing software,” Beatrice offers. “It’s not very fancy, so if you want to do anything particularly technical, we’ll have to find you a better one.” 

“You’re the best,” Ava grins. 

Then remembers that there’s ice cream in one of her bags and she can’t get distracted by Beatrice for too long, or it’ll melt. That’s not a mistake a person can make twice without having to ask themselves some hard questions, like whether their crush on their roommate is getting out of hand, and is in fact a whole fallen in love type thing. 

Which it definitely, definitely is, but Ava’s put off having to deal with that for quite a while, and will continue to do so, until —

Until —

She hasn’t got that far. 

Ava grabs the ice cream and quickly shoves it into the freezer. Take that, introspection. Not today. 

“I like when you get a new project,” Beatrice says quietly, when Ava turns back to face her. She’s so earnest that Ava thrums with it. “You get a very specific — energetic quality.” 

Everything Ava can think of to reply with is too much. So she winks instead. “That’s me. Full of energy. I can go all night. ”

“You need three Red Bulls to go all night.”

“With studying . I am obviously trying to make a sex joke, Bea.”  

[astraskylark]

Can we talk about Weiss in V8 chapter 13? Can we talk about how amazing she was in that episode despite all the batshit crazy insane shit happening around? Like it starts out with a full on Team RWBY Vs Cinder battle royale.

Weiss is literally never still even for a second here. She's clearly learned from Volume 5 that staying still in battle for a fighter with her attack type is a bad decision so she's constantly moving over here appearing on all sides in a matter of seconds while keeping the movements of her teammates in mind as well.

She's literally mid fight here half through zooming across the battlefield after an attack and she's already setting up a glyph to boost Blake up so she can attack Cinder keeping the momentum of the fight going in the split second she needs to move across.

Weiss's fighting style often leans to support and a series of attacks rather than one heavy blow. And support is probably the most complicated role to play in a fight.

It's all about insane mid battle calculation. She has to keep track of her team's movements to perfectly time her glyphs (also deciding what type of glyph based how her teammates are moving and their surroundings) and HOW EXHAUSTING IS THAT??? Because she not only has to keep track of the opponent's movement but she's also keeping her eye on three other people who are in continuing motion looking for any gap she can offer support in??? While constantly moving on the field and launching her own attacks in tandem with the others???

The minute Ruby is falling back Weiss is already pelting ice picks at Cinder. And okay mad props to Cinder because this entire attack sequences from RWBY was hardcore and Cinder managed to dodge it all. And back to Weiss.

So we have this insane battle where everyone is mentally exhausted and then we have Neo attacking Ruby and Yang falling into the void. And I've seen a lot of people shitting on how Ruby and Weiss didn't react fast enough and let me just say they acted exactly how you'd expect them too.

I don't have the pic here cause Tumblr has a limit but if you remember the split screen showing Ruby,Weiss, Blake and Neo we can all see Blake already starts moving. Ruby starts getting attacked by a feral Neo a second later and has no time to even process any event(a running theme this volume Rubes your breakdown is coming).

Now here Weiss starts moving a literal second later. And now remember this is Weiss, master of mid fight distance calculation.

The minute Weiss turned and saw Blake she knew. She knew that judging from how fast Yang fell of the ledge and how fast Blake moved the only person who had a sliver of a chance of saving Yang was Blake. She knew she would be a second late if she tried. She knew that summoning a glyph in the event of Blake missing would be no use because she's done the math in that heated second of fear and anguish and knows that she will be too late.

Which is why Weiss Schnee master of logic and cool headedness in the battle field and emotional wellbeing off the battlefield knew what would happen a second later. She knows Yang. Weiss was the first person we've ever seen Yang be vulnerable around. And I bet the reason Weiss was so sure Blake would find her way back to them is because Weiss and Blake are alot more similar than you think. So Weiss knows. She knows the Blake Belladona would not hesitate for a second to jump into the literal unknown for Yang.

She would too. But they're in the middle of battle and Ruby is being attacked and thousands of Atlas and Mantle citizens are in the middle of a space that shouldn't exist and she knows despite how she wants too she cannot jump. And she cannot let Blake jump either because she cannot and will not lose another member of her family today. And she immediately pulls Blake literally dragging her from the surface(and this is no easy feat because we know how crazy swol Blake is and adding that with mad grief Blake is basically the strongest most impulsive person in that space right now) and you can see from that single frame that Weiss herself is so close to tears but she has to hold it together for Blake. For Yang. For Ruby.

And once Blake takes off in a rage she knows that Cinder is left with no one to fight her. And Weiss (who is probably a little traumatised after having been stabbed and almost dying because of her) she immediately faces Cinder and Weiss is frantically dodging because remember Cinder was able to take on all four of them with barely a scratch and now Weiss is facing her alone.

And I also love this because it seems like Weiss is just zig zagging her way in a frenzy but she's trying to make herself really difficult to target here. You know how they say to run zig zag when your being chased by an animal right? That's what she's doing here. She's stays in a position for just enough time for Cinder to shoot her fire and then immediately takes off in a tangent making cinder have to spend a split second trying to reorient her attack cause all her attacks shoot in a straight direction.

I included this picture because she looks so fucking cool here. She literally fights fire with FIRE and I love her stance and pose and if you've actually read this far you can kinda guess I love everything about her.

And now we see her skating up. Because she knows the advantage and how being in a higher position can help. She needs to get to higher ground. And I'd like to highlight that Weiss only takes this pathway cause at that moment it is completely empty. She assumed that people had already finished evacuating from there which is why she chose that place. But it turned out that particular door was one for Atlas and Atleasians were alot more hesitant to use the gates than people from Mantle which is why there are people still there(this might also have been a convenient plot narrative to make Jaune aware that Cinder was here, who knows we shall see)

She uses her gravity glyph to try and hinder the airborne higher ground advantage that Cinder has. And it works. Cinder is momentarily focussed on Weiss allowing Penny to regain her stance and figure out her weapon situation.

And then an Atleasian steps out and Weiss realises in a matter of milliseconds that shit she has to protect them.

And if you notice Cinder is imitating Weiss's attack here. Weiss attacked Cinder with the same Ice pick move 5 minutes ago. And Weiss has to protect herself and the now emerging Atlas citizens. And I love how it's shown that she doesn't have the time to fully summon her Knight so only summons the arm and blade and protects everyone from actually getting hurt. Also I don't know if this the first time we've seen the summoning glyph for the knight in this angle but it is absolutely gorgeous and I really want to see what the Nevermore one looks like.

And I ran out pictures but Cinder literally tosses Weiss over the edge and the only thing stopping Weiss from certain fall in the void is her own gravity glyph which she is maintaining after all of the stuff I mentioned before.

I mean we know that Weiss has the lowest stamina of the team and the role that takes up the most energy. And she's still standing and she still going to fight in the next episode.

I just-- GODS Weiss Schnee is an absolute legend and possibly the best ally to have on the battlefield. She's is a super skilled ,level headed and versatile fighter whose constant presence and observations in the battlefield are such an asset and I wouldn't be far off in saying that she's probably the smartest fighter after Ruby and there's a reason they're partners because for every wacky absolute bonkers plan Ruby has, Weiss will be there to build the foundation to launch off from. And I cannot wait to see her learn and grow even more.

[shijiujun]

ANOTHER REC from the author who wrote The Wife is First 妻为上! I’ve actually read like six of her novels so far (will do a compilation soon heh) and 绿野千鹤 (the author) is very fond of transmigration, going back in time, reincarnation, revival and everything, and she’s also very fond of historical settings where men can marry men, in varying degrees, and this is one of them!!!! This is a very feel good novel, just like The Wife if First - considered a sweet, not complex novel. 

(And for those asking about reading difficulty levels, this is actually not very complicated, so if y’all wanna read in Chinese, you can actually try this!)

- Part of Min’s ‘Why You Should Read’ Series -

Summary:

At his deathbed in his 20s, emperor Yu Jin Tang tells his male empress Song Xiao to die with him right before he passes away from a severe injury sustained from war. Devastated and also willing to die with him, Song Xiao is about slit his own throat when Jin Ling, Jin Tang’s younger brother who’s next in line for the throne, reads out the imperial decree to have Song Xiao be given a wangye title and assist Jin Lin in his rule, a decree that Jin Tang made before he died, of course not expecting Song Xiao to die with him.

Song Xiao slits his own throat anyway after killing the man who dealt his husband with the fatal blow, and wakes up in 16 year-old Song Xiao’s body in the modern world. He’s in the hospital after an accident, and is entirely confused with this world. He also wonders where Jin Tang is, if he also travelled to this world after his death, but Song Xiao first has to get used to the modern world, to his father, who is the CEO of an entertainment company, unofficial stepmother (who is an actress under the company and had an affair with Song Xiao’s father) and stepsister.

After recovery, Song Xiao gets to school and becomes tablemates with someone who looks exactly like Jin Tang, called Yu Tang, who is the heir to the wealthy Yu family.

Cue Yu Tang and Song Xiao trying to test each other out to see if they really transmigrated to this world and have memories of their past life, navigate their families and find other transmigrated people from that dynasty in their current timeline. Yu Tang and Song Xiao also reaffirm their love for each other after clearing up the misunderstanding that led Yu Jin Tang to go off to war suddenly that year, which inadvertently led to his death after.

Read:

Novel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Not Available | Novel Translations | Manhua 

Characters:

1. 宋箫 Song Xiao - In his past life he was a scholar who first met YJT at a palace feast, and YJT fell in love with him at first sight and was adamant on marrying him as his empress. The previous emperor caught wind of this and wanted to execute Song Xiao, but his grandfather begged the emperor to spare his grandson in exchange for his life. He loves YJT but in his past life was always carrying the burden of the empress title and was never close to YJT in public, and in private, he repeatedly refused to sleep with YJT because he was scared of the pain, but also did not tell YJT that this was the reason for his rejection, leading to YJT thinking that Song Xiao must really hate him/not love him. 

After he commits suicide and transmigrates to the modern world, he’s the 16-year old son of the CEO of a huge entertainment company, and lives with his father, stepmother and stepsister. Before he transmigrated, the current him was diagnosed with autism and he was non-verbal, until his stepmother/stepsister hurt him and led to him being in a coma. He wakes up from the coma having transmigrated after, and is so confused at all the nurses, plus he has all his ancient traditional habits - the way he talks, his hand gestures etc. He was caught calling his stepmother a concubine LMAO in public, and only has two months to get used to the modern world before he’s tossed into school, where he meets YJT again. And as expected he forgets himself frequently and ends up greeting people traditionally like this LOL:

Considered to be a real pretty boy HAHAHAHA as expected, but before he transmigrated he was often the subject of bullying. He ends up rooming with YJT, and they start second-guessing whether each other has transmigrated. It’s hilarious because even before confirming that he is indeed YJT, Song Xiao is so used to things like feeding YJT chicken wings, helping him with his clothes etc. from back in his days as empress, and YJT in modern world is also like used to it and then when they realize their actions they’re like ???? hold on, are you...

Totally doesn’t get Math (like all of us), but luckily he’s so smart and picks up all his academic material quickly. 

2. 虞锦堂/虞堂 Yu Jin Tang/Yu Tang - Went against laws and his father in his past life to marry Song Xiao, and really, really loves him. He always doubts that Song Xiao loves him back, however, because of the way he basically forced Song Xiao to marry him, and did not take in any concubines etc. in the year they spent together before he died. They argued over this, which led to him going to war in anger, and to his eventual death. On his deathbed, out of spite and anger at his impending demise, he asks Song Xiao to die with him, but does not mean it, having already planned Song Xiao’s future for him.

He wakes up in his new body as an 11 year-old named Yu Tang, 5 years before Song Xiao transmigrates despite their deaths being minutes apart. At some point he goes to read historical books and is furious and devastated when he reads that Song Xiao killed himself after he died, and wonders if it’s because Jin Lin didn’t tell Song Xiao about the decree.

He’s been waiting for Song Xiao to turn up, and when he does, Yu Tang finds himself testing Song Xiao to see if he really has his memories or not, and even plots for Song Xiao to room with him because Yu Tang gets pissed at the thought of someone else seeing Song Xiao’s body as he comes out of the bath everyday HAHAHA. 

In this modern world, he no longer has to deal with the burden of country etc., and one of the possible heirs to the Yu fortune and empire, he now only has to deal with greedy relatives and a grandfather who may oppose same-sex relationships, but smart Yu Tang knows what he’s doing and is more than familiar with fighting for the throne in his past life, and now in this life. Because he lost so much in the previous life, he’s now plotting to keep everything, including Song Xiao.

3. 虞锦麟 Yu Jin Lin - YJT’s younger brother, who also transmigrated to the modern world the year Song Xiao does, but in his past life he dies much later than his brother and Song Xiao did out of natural causes. He is reborn as Yu Tang’s baby brother, and this baby has ALL THEM MEMORIES.

4. 独孤暗 Du Gu An - Yu Tang’s current same-age bodyguard, was picked up from the streets by Yu Tang when they were both younger. He was the head of YJT’s secret army in his past life, who transmigrated over.

Other Things I Like in the Novel:

In private, Yu Tang and Song Xiao refer to each other frequently as emperor and empress, but they’re conscious to not say it in public because they know people will wonder if they’re insane hahaha

Yu Tang ran for President of the Student’s Club, won, and then changed all the names of the different committees in school (cleaning committee, disciplinary committee etc.) into historical ministry names like, Ministry of Rites, Ministry of Justice etc. hahaha

They acknowledge each other quite early on in the book and it’s so sweet from then on! Technically even though they’re 16 year-olds here in spirit they’re like... they’ve lived another lifetime together, so Yu Tang refers to Song Xiao as his wife and empress, and keeps stealing kisses etc.

The man who killed YJT in his past life was reborn as Yu Tang’s literal dog in the modern world, and a lot of characters transmigrated/were reborn as well, including YJT’s eunuch gonggong, who is actually a high-ranking butler now in the main Yu family branch and who has also been waiting for YJT to turn up in the modern world. When Song Xiao first meets him, his eyes automatically go to the butler’s crotch LMAOOO

YJT’s sister was also reborn as his sister, and because he wasn’t able to protect her in his past life, he’s very thankful that he can do so now

It’s really cute because there’s even an overseas academic exchange part. Outside of school they also try to navigate their relationships with their families, and it’s impressive to see how Song Xiao and Yu Tang deal with their pesky relatives, work etc.

Song Xiao has to defend himself (with the help of Yu Tang) against his stepmother, and another woman that his Dad had another affair with etc., but all these tactics are elementary to him as he recalls how his siblings in his past life were much more merciless and scheming than this towards him LOL

[lisinfleur]

The Perfect Date

The request:

Author’s Notes | It seems the family has more than one genius. Universe | Vikings Pairing | Ivar x Reader Info | Modern Age AU, requested by anon for 5CW Ivar II. Posted for HTGI Event. Words | 1857 ⁑ Warnings: Some self-ableism from Ivar, cursing.

It was more than time for you to move on over that childish passion.

You had been cultivating that hidden love for so long that you couldn't even remember when it was the first time you'd looked at Ivar and thought he was the owner of your heart.

But it was past the time to be over with that and move on with your life.

You were his friend.

Period!

You weren't his kind of girl. You mean... Look at Freydis! She was completely different from you, right? And Margrethe before her...

It is ok that Margrethe got the record of banging four of the five Lothbrok brothers, but Ivar was on her list, and you weren't like her.

At least, you never felt pretty like the two of them.

At least...

At least, Ivar never looked at you with those flickering eyes he had for them here or there in the story of your lives.

So, when Hvitserk told you he'd settled a date for you with someone he was sure was perfect to be with you, you've decided to give him a chance. He also knew you pretty well, and if he was saying someone could conquer your heart, then probably this person could have a chance to really do it.

So, at the date he settled, you got yourself prepared. Your best dress, soft makeup. Gods, you even made your hair in a saloon to feel prettier for that night!

However, the last person you thought you would find in that restaurant was Ivar: sitting at one of the tables, he seemed to be as prepared as you were but waiting for someone who dared to get late for whatever they had settled together.

Oh, great.

Your past and your feelings would be right there while you would be trying to surpass them.

Fuck!

At first, you tried to dodge his presence, sitting on a table that was a little away from his.

But, as the minutes passed, your heart shrunk by seeing he was becoming angrier as the person he was waiting for didn't show up. And your "perfect date" was also getting late...

Did Hvitserk lose his good finger? He knew how much you hated people who weren't punctual!

When you noticed, your date was about ten minutes late! And Ivar's angry grunt reached your ears as your friend seemed to be frustratedly threatening to get out of the restaurant.

You could almost read Ivar's thoughts.

Another failure.

OF COURSE, she wouldn't come! Nobody wants to date the crippled.

And that whole ableist bullshit you knew he would be thinking throughout days, maybe months after that failed date.

Fuck the perfect guy! You got up and walked towards Ivar's table, pretending you had just arrived and taking a seat right beside him - just to avoid taking the place his date would be taking in front of him if she was ever to come anyway.

"Ivar! What a coincidence!" you tried to start as if you didn't see each other there.

But Ivar's surprised blues told you your dodging skills were better than you thought: he didn't really have seen you before.

Or the thing with the dress and makeup had really gone right somehow...

"Whoa... You're pretty, Y/N".

Your cheeks burned hot! Did he have any idea of what was that simple sentence doing to you?

"T... thanks," you answered. "You look great too. Occupied?"

His eyes looked at the empty chair in front of his table, and he sighed.

"I guess I'm not. Want some fries?"

Your favorites!

Ivar knew everything about you. And you, about him.

"And ribs!"

His favorites... Ivar couldn't avoid smiling.

One hour of conversation and the two of you had completely forgotten the late dates that never came.

Two hours and Ivar was betting you would be drunk with half of a quarter he was able to drink!

When the two of you took notice, five hours had passed from the time settled for your dates, and no one had come through those doors searching for you guys.

Nevertheless, that was the best night the two of you shared together. You had gotten rid of your heels under the table, he had left the fancy coat on the back of his chair, and the two of you were now side by side on the table, playing with each other at the cellphones with an interesting application he had found to play hnefatafl against you online.

"That's not fair! You always win!" you complained after losing the tenth match for a proud Ivar smiling beside you.

But his smile had a different tone. A gentle tone.

"Thank you," he mumbled, confusing you.

"For what? For repeatedly losing ​to you in this complicated game?" you tried.

"For making this shit of a night something good for me to remember," he answered, impressing a serious tone to the conversation you'd started.

"Ivar," you mumbled.

"No, Y/N. This would've been a disaster if you weren't here to make this night perfect!" he completed, looking at you. "I'll never listen to Hvitserk ever again, but I cannot say I regret coming to this date he settled for me. You were here. And it was amazing to be with you tonight."

"Wait..." you said, looking at him. "Hvitserk settled a date for you  here?"

"Today, at..." he started.

"...eight." you finished, and your eyes became large. "Oh, my gods..."

"Y/N, what happened?" Ivar asked.

For the first time since you knew him, not being the one able to figure out the whole picture.

"Your date didn't come, did she?" you asked.

"No. The 'girl that would be perfect to me' doesn't exist, and I got Hvitserk's stupid pun."

Oh, no. He got it wrong...

"That's not the actual pun, Ivar," you mumbled, feeling your cheeks burning hot once again.

"What do you mean?" Ivar asked, already annoyed things were happening faster than his mind could understand.

"My date didn't come either," you said, looking at him. "I had a date today, here, at eight... Hvitserk said it would be the perfect guy to conquer my heart..."

"The motherfucker decided to make the same stupid prank with the two of us!"

Oh, how charming... There was a detail you always thought was cute about your brilliant best friend: he would always become dumb when he was too angry to think properly.

"Indeed, he pranked us, Ivar. But..."

Shit!

Why was it always so hard to tell him the truth?

"I'll punch his face for hurting you like this!" Ivar said, disposed to defend you with all his strength, but you held his hand, looking at him in the eyes.

"It is you, Ivar," you said, breaking his focus and causing him to look at you, confused.

It took him a second to figure out what you were talking about. And then another ten seconds for his face to frown in complete disbelief.

"Excuse me, what?" he asked, looking at you. "Are you telling me Hvitserk settled us on a date in the same place and at the same time trying us to..." he stopped.

His brain was finally making the right math this time.

"He was trying for us to date each other," you mumbled.

Already feeling, by his reaction, that he would somehow burst into laughs and say his brother was completely insane.

That you could never be perfect in any way to conquer his heart.

However, his head leaned, and he looked at you with a surprised expression.

"Sometimes I think there is a genius inside my brother's mind that he drowns every day with the amount of different alcoholic shit he drinks," he said.

Causing you to burst into laughing the way you would always laugh at his jokes.

Only you were able to understand his jokes, no matter how deep they were. And you would always think they were funny.

You would always be there for him, by his side, making his worst days better and his better days the best.

How come he'd never noticed this?

You were still laughing when Ivar's fingers touched your chin, catching your eyes.

"Hvitserk was right... You are the perfect woman to conquer my heart."

You froze.

And it was your time to frown and look at him, taken aback.

"Excuse me? What?" you mumbled, causing him to smile.

"Unexpected, but predictable," he mumbled, looking at you with a larger smile. "You know me better than anyone else. You like the same things I do. And you make me happy... You're prettier than any other woman I know... And by the way you're shocked by these conclusions now, I can almost say I finally discovered what's the only secret you've always kept from me..."

Fuck!

Fuck fuck fuck a thousand times!

You'd always told him that: there was only one thing about you he would never discover. And it was that he was the love you had hidden in your heart as deep as you could to keep your secret safe.

"And... What would be this secret, if you're so smart, Mr. Smartass?" you said.

Trying to keep your pose until the moment he approached, sealing his lips on yours all of a sudden, surprising you with the most delicious stolen kiss you had ever tasted in your life.

You melted in his hands, sighing against his mouth.

As his hands landed on your waist, yours embraced his neck and it was almost as if the two of you had been made to embrace each other like that.

The kiss didn't last too long, but it was enough to feel like an era for you. And Ivar smiled against your lips, fully cocky about his next words.

"I'm the one who has your heart," he said, revealing the only secret of yours he'd never laid hands on. "It's mine... You're mine. How could it be different?”

His fingers caressed your face and you noticed he was genuinely happy with that discovery

"I didn't want to lose our friendship," You mumbled, justifying your silence for so long beside him.

"We didn't lose it," he said, "It just evolved to a better level," he completed.

"And it was about time!" Hvitserk's voice sounded from the restaurant's door.

"You motherfucker!" You grunted at him.

"You little asshole!" Ivar growled.

And Hvitserk burst into laughter: his plan was a success and he smiled, throwing the car keys to Ivar who caught them.

"Mother told me to take you home, but I don't want to bother the love doves..." he joked just to receive a pair of fries from you and a cube of ice from Ivar's cup against his head. "Fuck, stop it!" he laughed. "You should be thanking me!"

"We're throwing food on you! Count it as gratitude!" Ivar joked back causing you to laugh out loud.

Hvitserk crossed his arms, smiling at the two of you.

"'Take care of each other," he said.

You would remember to prepare his favorite Damascus pie as a reward for being the perfect friend.

You couldn't be happier with the date he chose for you.

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[thedistrictsleepsalonetonight]

Your mess is mine

Sue may only be a math major, but she knows this much about telling a story: it needs to have a beginning, middle, and an end.  

If she were to sit down and write one, here is where it would start — Emily laughs and she falls in love. It doesn’t matter the year, the month, or the minute; when Emily laughs, she falls in love. Sue’s a little slow when these things are concerned, love doesn’t come to her as quickly or as easily as it has historically come to Emily. I saw you in the coffee shop and I knew you were the one, she’s fond of telling Sue, usually during fights. It’s highly annoying that Emily thinks it’d work on her. Even more annoying is the fact that it does. 

Alright, does she have moments of intense déjà vu sometimes? Like when they’re lying in bed, after one of Austin’s house parties, and Sue curls up into Emily’s soft shoulders, plays with her pretty, pretty hands? Or when she catches Emily conked out in front of her laptop in a corner table at the café on her break and gently wakes her up? Sure. But isn’t that what love is? The same five gestures repeated in infinite ways, creating a well of infinite affection. So if walking the steps with Emily settles deep into her bones without flinching, as if they’ve done this before, she’s convinced that it’s because they’re well and truly perfect together. 

(Definitely not because — and this is something that has been occurring to her more and more lately — they were star-crossed lovers in a past life a century ago.) 

(That would be crazy.) 

(Right?) 

***** 

Falling in love aside, Emily can be really, infuriatingly, secretive about the worst of things. Sometimes it is charming, watching her having to pick her way through multiple explanations, create long-winded detours just to attempt to confuse Sue into getting exasperated enough to drop the subject altogether. But that’s at the very end, when it turns out that she was going to all this trouble to make sure Sue wasn’t going to find out she’d gotten her that one Hawaiian shirt Sue had off-handedly admired once, aeons ago. Or that she’s been holed up in their room all day because she’s been setting up lights in honor of it being exactly six months since they first hugged. Which is why she is more resigned that surprised when Lavinia sits down in front of her, leans in, and asks her what she’s doing for Emily’s birthday next week. 

Sue sneaks a look at Emily who is currently chatting with an old lady who usually comes in on the weekends. Her girlfriend happens to be one of those baristas who is beloved by the elderly, God only knows why. All the older ladies will hang back at the counter and tell her all about their grandkids’ schools and ballet recitals. In return, Emily will rant to them about college and apparently, Sue as well, which was something she discovered one day when she walked in and two old ladies gave her teasing yet approving smiles from their table. 

(And then took her aside to whisper — Showing a little skin wouldn’t do any harm and would keep your girl on her toes — which near about killed her)  

The entire situation is hilarious. Also the most adorable thing she has ever seen. 

“Why haven’t you guys discussed your birthdays yet?” 

“It’s just never,” Sue muses, “come up, I guess.” 

Austin rollerblades past, swivels to a stop and bends so he’s approximately level with their faces. “Are we talking about,” he says, lowering his voice to a comical whisper, “Emily’s birthday?” 

Lavinia pulls him down, so he’s sitting on the spare chair. “And Sue’s, apparently. Did you know her birthday falls, like, nine days after Emily’s?” 

Austin stares at her, wide-eyed. “That means it’s on the.... 19th? 

Sue nods. 

“The 19th of December? After Emily’s birthday, on the 10th of December?” 

“Y....es?” 

He swipes at his phone, taps a couple of buttons, and then looks up with a smug smile. “I knew I remembered something. Look.” 

Lavinia has to angle her whole body to see, but it registers for both of them at the same time. A certain poet and her muse, who also apparently shared the same birthday as her and Emily. 

“Huh,” Lavinia says. “Maybe there is something to Emily’s theory after all.” 

“You mean Emily’s theory that we’re the reincarnations of those two?” she asks, hearing her own voice get progressively more hysterical by the word. She clears her throat, takes a deep breath, adds it to the list of rapidly growing coincidences in her head that she’s never going to give a closer look to, because that would be crazy. 

“Really the only part of this I’m genuinely shocked by,” Lavinia says after a long pause, in which Sue is struggling to reason with the logical part of her brain, “is that Austin remembers Emily Dickinson’s birthday.” 

Austin smiles proudly, and the thought is so funny that it drives potential insanity out of her mind eventually. 

***** 

“Why didn’t you tell me your birthday’s tomorrow?” 

Emily startles from where she’s staring out the window of the car, and Sue has about a moment to regret blurting it out before they’re looking at each other. She’d spent the entire week setting up the entire thing for Emily and now it probably won’t even be a surprise, but she’s insanely curious. No better time for it, either way. She’d planned everything perfectly, from picking up Emily at the café in the classy car she’d borrowed from Austin, to making sure it wasn’t too late after dinner. And yet, here they were, surrounded by cars and honking people because traffic was a fickle bitch. 

“Is that why we’re taking this trip?” she asks, wide-eyed. 

Sue extends a hand towards her, ruffles up her hair, feeling fond. Trust her idiot girlfriend to not have figured it out yet. She moves her hand to Emily’s cheek, and feels Emily cover it with her own. Feels a soft kiss pressed against her palm. 

“What did you think it was, dumdum?” 

“Well, it is the three month anniversary of—” Sue’s alarm is probably showing on her face, so she backtracks quickly. “Kidding. Kidding. There’s nothing tomorrow.” 

Sue pinches at her cheek. “Except your birthday. Speaking of which—” 

“Eh,” Emily shakes her head, shuffles around on her seat awkwardly, “it’s.... uh, complicated.” 

“Is the complication that you happen to share a birthday with a poet from long ago?” she’s only half-joking.  

Emily laughs at that. “Caught on, did you? Did you also check—” 

“E-yup.” 

“That your birthday is also—” 

“E-yup,” she says. Then turns to look at Emily. “Wait. How do you know when my birthday is?” 

Emily opens her mouth, but before she can say anything Sue hurriedly cuts in. “And you’re not allowed to say you have your ways.” 

Years ago, when Sue was fourteen, one day her dad and her mom came home with the same vegetable. Same quantity. It was beans, and she could vividly remember all three of them staring down in mock dismay at the two separate huge bundles of beans that now took up most of the space on the table. Then they started comparing prices. Turns out her mother’s bundle had cost a couple cents lesser than her father’s. But it’s not the same , her mother had insisted, holding up both the bundles. See, yours weighs more. I think the grocer I bought it from took some off . 

To this day, she defines love as the way her mother’s hand fell over his, combined with the way her dad looked at her next — like a child who had just been told that the blanket fort he’d spent hours constructing, wasn’t going to be torn down. Like someone had just handed a piece of the world to him, and told him to make of it whatever he wanted.  

Sue recognizes it in the way Emily looks at her. Like she’s saying — Of course. Of course, you know me well enough to guess the next stupid thing that comes out of her mouth. 

(She’s not very good at love, but she hopes Emily can read the answer in her eyes just the same) 

“Birthdays are complicated,” Emily says, slowly. “I’ve had some very good ones and then some very bad ones.” First girlfriend who she asked out on her 20th birthday, and second girlfriend who she broke up with a week before her 23rd; Sue fills in the blanks as she talks. “So I guess I try not to tell people so I myself don’t expect anything out of it. Neutral birthdays are better than euphoric ones or sad ones, because at least they don’t haunt me forever.” 

“Baby,” she says, and then trails off. Sometimes she likes calling Emily endearments, or just say her name out loud, randomly, even if there’s no statement attached to it. The sentiment’s always the same, however. I’m glad you exist. I’m glad you found me. I like your name. I love you.  

(Emily’s fallen asleep by the time she’s driven to the top of the grassy knoll, by the time the clock hits midnight. Sue lets her sleep through it. There will be time to sit on top of the blanket and watch a sleepy Emily blow out the candles on a tiny cake that looks like a typewriter, to stare at the stars all night long while they listen to soft, slow songs on a pair of shared earphones. For now, Sue watches Emily sleep, head tilted against the glass and decides to hold off on telling her she loves her until the day after her birthday. It’s a perfectly neutral birthday. No use in spoiling it.) 

(Emily says it back though, in case anyone was wondering) 

***** 

Sometimes, when Sue sees Emily cooking for her, she loses her breath. 

(And sometimes, it’s not even due to the smoke from a burned dish) 

But there’s something peaceful about watching Emily cook, especially if she hasn’t yet cottoned onto the fact that Sue’s watching her. She’s one of those annoying people who always has their headphones on, so most of her cooking in the kitchen involves perfectly timing the beats with the swipes of her spatula. Sometimes she spins around in the middle of a pancake flip to see if she can catch it in midair. Juvenile shenanigans aside, what really gets Sue, even after almost a year of having watched Emily dance around in the kitchen is the care with which she handles food that they will eat. It’s so different to the kind of food she cooks when she’s just cooking for herself. Sue’s seen her slap on two days expired cheese on top of a tortilla and call it lunch. And yet. 

And yet. Sue will have the best of things. Lasagna that’s still steaming. A sandwich filled with the most delicious ingredients. Waffles topped with cream that Emily will get up early in the morning to get for her. Food enhanced with care, made better with love. 

Why don’t you make those nice things for yourself, she’s asked on multiple occasions, to which Emily’s always shrugged. It’s just me. I can have almost anything. 

(Emily deserves the best. Sue will make sure she has it) 

There are flowers on the table, an assortment of daffodils and lilies arranged on a vase. Right in between two shiny plates laid out with napkins folded carefully beside them. Sue slides into one of the chairs quietly, rests her elbows on the table and waits for Emily to finally turn around. 

There is a panicked scream when she does. Sue doesn’t want to be that girlfriend, but this is definitely going on the list of stories she’ll tell their future kids when they’ve grown. 

(Another day she would worry about how the term — Their kids — moves around in her chest comfortably like a sip of hot cocoa. Today, exactly one year to the day Emily told her she liked her, she shrugs it off) 

“You weren’t supposed to wake up for another half an hour at least.” 

Sue hums. “You did tire me out last night, that is true.” 

“Sue!” Emily says, scandalized, face rapidly turning red. “I — that’s highly — okay wait, first things first....” 

She walks over to the table, and bends to kiss Sue.  

“Happy anniversary.” 

Sue closes her eyes, kisses both her cheeks in response. “Happy anniversary, my love.” 

Emily grins back, then stands again. “Either way,” she says, as she ladles soup onto a bowl, and gathers multiple plates on a tray to subsequently bring to the table, “brunch! Courtesy of your beautiful girlfriend who finally managed to figure out how to make the perfect chicken pot pie without burning down the house, or worse, giving you salmonella.” 

Sue inspects what lies in front of her. “Babe, this looks amazing.” 

Emily looks proud, as she sits on the other chair. “And that’s not all, okay? This is just the start. Today evening I have gotten us both tickets to—” 

“Move in with me.” 

When Emily blinks, Sue startles. The words that had just come out of her mouth definitely weren’t well-thought-out, but now she was thinking about it and it seemed like all she ever wanted in life. To go to sleep with Emily, and wake her up in time for her morning classes, to be able to see her all the time, and not have to watch her go. 

“That wasn’t my gift, by the way,” she adds, speaking fast, thinking of the limited-edition original copies of a book she’d driven five hours to the next town to get. “But it’s what I want. Us. Living together. I love you. We should.... uh, live together so — uh, okay Emily make me stop talking please.” 

Emily shuts her up with a kiss. When they separate, she stays close to Sue, looking right into her eyes with that soft, soft expression.  

“Are you sure?” she asks. 

Sue takes in a deep breath. Nods. “Yeah.” 

Emily considers that for a moment. Then says with a teasing smile — “I thought this violated your relationship rules.” 

“What ae you—” 

“No kissing before the second date. No celebrating six-month anniversaries because that’s for dummies. No moving in before at least two years of dating—” 

“And if you remember correctly,” Sue cuts in, smoothly, “I kissed you two days before our first date. And serenaded you with a Taylor Swift song at the café on our six-month anniversary.” 

“You did do that,” Emily says, quietly. 

“And as long as we’re on the subject, I hate staying up past 11, or listening to sad girl music in the car, or watching that horrendous show about those two annoying men fake-dating,” Sue tells her, “but — it is my greatest honor that I get to do that for you. And with you. Emily, if you haven’t figured it out already, you’re kinda the exception to every single one of my rules.” 

Sue reads Emily’s answer in the kiss she receives next. 

***** 

The middle, the middle, everything boils down to the middle. It’s what Sue sometimes hears Emily muttering to herself in the middle of the night when she has an assignment due the next day. Sue will blink, look over to the desk where Emily is planted with her nightlight on, hands in her hair. Sometimes Sue will keep blinking slowly, taking in the sight of Emily typing until she falls asleep. Sometimes Emily will notice that she’s up, walk over to the bed, and hum snippets of songs until she’s drifting off again.  

And for all the beauty of the beginning, of first kisses and first dates and first times, there’s something to be said about the fifteenth time Emily plays her something on the ukulele, warning her beforehand that her voice might crack. Or the sixtieth burger she runs across the campus to hand over to Emily when she knows she’s got back-to-back classes scheduled. About the hundredth time she falls into bed, and scooches over, eyes closed, until Emily’s wriggling body is aligned against hers. There’s peace in knowing that a first time will inevitably lead to a second time, and then countless others.  

(There’s peace in knowing the middle lasts the longest)   

***** 

She knows she’s in trouble. Has known she’s in trouble the minute she came out of the store and discovered that there was a pileup on the highway. And then when Lavinia called her panicking because their house-warming slash house party was getting out of control because of a lack of beer and a general overabundance of Austin. And then when her phone died in the middle of her conversation with Emily.  

(So much trouble) 

She’s exhausted by the time she makes it back to her apartment (their apartment , she corrects herself, smiling at the thought) and makes her way up the stairs, hearing the volume of the music increase with every step. Opens the door and is assailed with extremes — the tiny sparkling mirror ball someone’s managed to hook up to the ceiling, the dancing crowd in their living room, and a very loud and weirdly on-point Austin making guitar noises on the karaoke microphone. 

“Lavinia!” Sue calls out in relief, when she catches sight of her. “Where’s Emily?” 

Lavinia excuses herself from a group of frat boys hanging onto her every word and walks over. “Sue! Emily!” 

“Yeah, I know! Tell me where she is!” 

Sue points towards the ceiling, and in the same smooth motion, grabs the crate of beer from her hands. 

Sue’s out of there before the first cry of “Beer” permeates the air. She climbs another two floors, and then the metallic ladder to find Emily sitting there, wrapped in her blanket, glaring up at her. 

“You promised,” she says, flatly. 

Sue drops onto her knees and takes Emily’s cold hands in hers. “I know.” 

“No, you,” Emily repeats, then pauses, looking like she’s struggling, “you promised you were gonna be here, okay? I agreed to the housewarming thing only because you told me there wouldn’t be many people and you’d stay with me the whole time—” 

“—baby....” 

“No, don’t baby me. Let me finish.” Emily waits until Sue nods. “And then you went off to the store.” 

“We ran out of beer,” Sue says, feeling sheepish. 

“I know — I know that, okay?” Emily says. “I know there’s a reason, and probably a valid one but I’m mad, okay? You promised me something and then bailed. That’s not cool.” 

Sue adjusts so she’s properly sitting down right in front of Emily. “I’m sorry,” she says, and means it. “It was inexcusable.” 

Emily sighs, and seems to relax a little. “Okay. Thank you for saying that.” 

Sue nods. “Some party, huh?” she says, after a while. 

Emily smiles a little, then. “Did you see Austin? He was performing the High School Musical songs when I left.” 

She laughs. “When I came in, I think he was doing the guitar riff to Bohemian Rhapsody.” 

“Hey,” Emily says, after they’re done giggling at that. “I never asked. What took you so long? I thought you just went to get beer.” 

“Uh,” Sue says, “I’d rather not tell you.” 

“What? Why not?” 

“Because I don’t wanna charm my way out of you being mad at me.” 

“Oh,” Emily draws the sound out, teasingly. “It can’t possibly be that charming.” 

If she wanted to play it this way, then okay. 

“I stopped at an animal shelter on the way home. There’s a young cat there I thought we could adopt. Consider her a housewarming present.” 

“Oh,” Emily says, then in an undertone. “Damn it.” 

“Charmed?” 

“Ugh, fuck, okay,” Emily admits, then pulls at their joined hands till Sue gets on top of her lap. “I hate you. I love you, but I hate you.” 

Sue kisses her in return, settles in more comfortably. 

“Tell me about her?” Emily asks, softly, in the quiet. 

“Well, she chased the light reflected off my watch round and round so it’s safe to say she’s not the brightest.” 

“I love her already,” Emily assures her. 

***** 

On her eve of her 25th birthday, Sue walks into her apartment and finds Emily, Lavinia and Austin panicking over how to fit the last half of her last name onto limited space on a handmade banner. She says hi to Juggers and Iguana, their two cats, then picks up their two-month-old puppy Rooney, all before one of the three already present humans in the room realizes she’s there. 

“Sue, I’m so sorry,” Emily says, walking over to her and looking at her with a slightly desperate look in her eyes. “We tried baking cake, but it’s half burnt, but we can’t decide what to get and all we have are balloons but then Austin’s going crazy trying to keep Juggers from bursting them, because guess what? The cat is the devil—” 

“—babe—” 

“—no, I tried to make it a good birthday, I really did!” 

She puts her hands on either side of Emily’s face, which forces her to quiet down. Then she looks over at the others.  

“Have you guys been here the entire time I was taking classes?” 

They nod. 

She feels a little overwhelmed. “Guys, I — thank you so much,” she says, then takes stock of the situation. “Can you order pizza? We’ll ring in my birthday with pizza tonight.” 

Lavinia side-hugs her on their way out to the couch, and then they’re alone in the kitchen. She kisses Emily on the forehead, then on both cheeks, trying to drive away the frown. 

“What?” 

“I just wanted you to have a good birthday,” Emily says, despondent. 

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Sue says. “And so are our friends, who sat and worked this hard for hours trying to make me happy. And we’ll have pizza! We like pizza.” 

“You’re just saying that.” 

“No, you idiot” Sue explains, fondly. “I mean it. We’ll have burned cake, and we’ll fight over the pizza, and even if the animals are outnumbered, we’ll probably lose to them. And then we’ll probably watch a movie, and somehow all fall asleep on the carpet because Austin always claims the whole couch. Either way, it’ll be a good birthday, because I’m happy. And you know why I’m happy?” 

Emily’s still pouting. 

“Emily, why am I happy?” 

“Because we’re together,” Emily completes, in a small voice, and then finally, finally smiles. 

(It’s the messiest birthday Sue has ever had. Also the best) 

***** 

Here’s the thing about endings: everyone who writes stories knows they don’t really exist.  

A famous author once said that they weren’t really the end of the story, just where you chose to stop it. Well, Sue agrees. Which is why this story in her head never ends. The imaginary typewriter in her head will keep typing long after, filling pages with anniversaries and birthdays and emergency dog adoptions. Maybe the next page talks about the day Sue breaks her arm, and Emily proposes to her with an onion ring she gets out of the hospital vending machine. Or the day Lavinia loses Rooney, walks around the entire block with Austin to find him and finally discovers he’s hanging out at the old café they used to work at. 

So. Yes. This is where she decides to leave it. Finish it. There will be more stories to write later.

The end. 

(Wink wink. Nudge nudge.) 

[blouisparadise]

Here are some great bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of June. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Until You’re Home | Explicit | 1039 words

Louis lives in London, Harry lives in Tokyo. They make it work.

2) He Holds My Paradise | Mature | 1332 words 

“What is it that you want, baby?”

“Your dick” Louis breaths out, choking on his own words, neck still covered by his boyfriend’s hand.

“And where do you want it, baby?” the Devil asks him, a satisfied smirk painting his lips. “in my pussy, please.”

3) Morning | Explicit | 1428 words 

Harry and Louis wake up and have a 'productive' morning in the shower ;)

4) Let's Go To The Beach | General Audiences | 1489 words 

Note: This fic contains no explicit smut, but since it’s omega Louis, we’ve included it. This is a sequel. Part one of this fic is #6 on this list. 

"Louis," Harry repeated.

"Right," Louis sighed. "He tried to scent me."

or the one where Louis has a meeting with an aggressive alpha and Harry calms Louis down.

5) Sweet Relief, Pretty Please | Not Rated | 1840 words 

Louis is drunk, sad and alone, and Harry is a wanker.

6) Hey Moon, Don't You Fall Down | Mature | 2574 words 

Note: The sequel to this fic is #4 on this list. 

"Make me yours," Louis opened his eyes and put his hands on Harry's shoulders. "I'm ready, alpha, always been ready for you. Since the first day we met, I was yours. Please," Louis gasped as Harry slid his fingers out of him.

or the one where Harry and Louis finally bond.

7) Nothing Like Anything | Explicit | 2614 words 

Harry is bored of his frat parties. No one interesting comes anyway.It's always drunk people, grinding in the living room, strangers trying to catch his eye. He's about to leave, just to ease his pounding head when he sees him, sinful on the dance floor and suddenly the party isn't so bad.

8) Over Exposed - Part Two| Explicit | 2840 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Harry and Louis take a quick break from Harry's tour to attend the VMAs, then have a night out at a club.

9) Sweet Vanilla Cream | Explicit | 2896 words 

Harry fights to resist his roommate's new omega boyfriend, Louis. Louis maybe doesn't want him to resist.

10) Take Off Your Glasses | Mature | 3742 words

Louis was enjoying his time, as he decided to spend his weekend clubbing, Louis knows no one in there, yet someone wanted to mess with him to know who's Louis the attractive boy in the black skirt.

"It’s Louie.. Sir."

11) Rose’s Fortune | Mature | 5055 words 

Note: This fic contains no explicit smut but since it’s a/b/o we’ve decided to include it in this monthly roundup.

Omega Louis takes one of his siblings to the doctors (check up, possible broken bone or possibly injections?) and the new Dr is Alpha Harry. Harry is great with kids and Louis is smitten. Harry is smitten too but attempts to act professionally and keep his distance whenever Louis visits the Drs with his siblings or to pick up his prescriptions. But Harry realises there is no reason for him not to make a move as Louis isn't under his care.

12) Dare You To Move | Not Rated | 6060 words 

The one where Harry falls in love with the omega who is the brain behind the omega march he joined.

13) Savage Garden’s Song Rules Sometimes (While Yours Always Reign Supreme) | Explicit | 6261 words 

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

The morning after one too many nights of isolation for Louis Tomlinson and his hot & dangerous boy.

Aka how insanely adorkable Harry Styles could be after a sulking episode. [wordplay edition]

14) I Can Feel Your Blood Pressure Rise | Explicit | 9292 words 

"Hello, your Highness," Harry heard a familiar voice coming from behind him. Chills ran down his body as he felt the coldness of something sharp poke the back of his neck, "Turn around slowly or I'll hurt you,” the voice said in a teasing tone.

Where Louis is some sort of Robin Hood and sneaks into the King's castle, only to be fucked hard.

15) You Know What They Say | Explicit | 10323 words 

Nice guys always finish last.

16) Teenage Dream | Explicit | 10333 words

Harry and Louis get reintroduced to each other by their friends. It’s an instant connection. Now they’ve just gotta get to know each other.

17) Move So Petty (You're All I See) | Explicit | 10548 words 

Harry’s pretty content with his life. He loves his job- a veterinarian at a local clinic who’s already built up a name for himself despite his young age. He loves his gorgeous flat with its wide, open space and minimalistic, yet still homey feel. He loves his family who he talks to and visits as much as possible, not bothered by the long hours of driving to Holmes Chapel from London he endures multiple times a month. He loves his friends and his coworkers and his neighbors- especially Allison, the little old lady next door who brings him and Louis cookies on holidays and who always comments on how “strong and handsome you are, Mr. Styles,” everytime he sees her.

And most importantly, he loves Louis, just- maybe in a slightly different way.

18) When Tomorrow Comes | Explicit | 11111 words 

The one where Louis is an Omega who has been keeping himself pure for his Alpha, Harry is a traditional Alpha focusing on his studies while he waits to find his bondmate, and Niall is a sneaky bastard who keeps borrowing Louis’ clothes and never returning them.

19) Smells Like Omega Spirit | Not Rated | 11769 words 

Note: This fic contains no explicit smut, but since it’s omega Louis, we’ve included it.

Louis is an omega doing a test run on neutralizers for a class project. Every time he talks to Harry he smells completely different.

Harry is an alpha who can't figure out if he's going crazy or his sense of smell is broken, but all he wants to figure out what Louis' real scent is.

Somehow they figure it out.

20) You Kill My Mind | Explicit | 13181 words 

Harry has always been ashamed to reveal his kinks to friends and partners alike. One day he meets a man who seems perfectly designed for him and they embark on a wonderful, sex-filled exploration journey.

21) In The Heat Of The Moment | Mature | 15743 words 

When Louis unexpectedly goes into heat in maths class it takes him way too long to figure out why (it might have something to do with a certain curly haired boy sitting next to him).

22) Was In No Hurry, Had No Worries | Explicit | 21485 words 

The year is 1999 and Harry can’t stop dedicating songs to Louis on the radio. Or the one where Harry hits Louis with his car.

23) You're The Smell Before Rain, You're The Blood In My Veins | Explicit | 21945 words 

“It was him you talked about, when you used to call me late at night, saying you were missing your ex? Was it him, your important five-year long story? Was it him the person you had thought about proposing, one day?” Nick asks with a low voice, almost inaudible, almost like he’s talking to himself “He’s my boyfriend…” he whispers again, without looking up.

“I know! And you shouldn’t worry, because you don’t have a single reason to do so. He’s yours now, he’s with you. I really don’t understand why you came here, honestly” Harry says defending himself out of instinct, even if he has no reason to react like that. He just- just wishes for Nick to leave his room and go back home to Louis. Because at this point Nick has Louis and fuck, why can’t he just go fuck off for once? Doesn’t he have enough shit do deal with already? Does he really need to get into this as well? Right now?

24) Like The Earth Around The Sun | Explicit | 23600 words 

The one where Harry bursts in on Louis in heat and things only get more complicated from there.

25) The Blood of Love | Explicit | 25273 words 

Harry is a nurse and Louis is a painting worth more than a thousand words. As desire and darkness encompasses him, Harry has to learn the secrets of Thorne Hills manor before he succumbs to the mystery that surrounds him.

26) Habit | Teen & Up | 27095 words 

In which Louis is a Donna who has a soft spot for alpha Harry.

27) Let Me Carry Your Weight | Explicit | 28633 words 

Louis is fresh out of a bad relationship with someone who made him feel awful about how he looked. on his journey to better himself, he meets harry - the ridiculously attractive and fit personal trainer.

28) Robbers And Cowards | Explicit | 33237 words 

A modern day Robin Hood AU where Louis and Harry (don’t really) hate each other but they hate greedy billionaires more.

29) Caves End | Explicit | 39711 words 

The one where Harry has lost his future, Louis has lost his past, but maybe together, they can find a way through the dark.

30) Soaked In The Blood Of Angels | Explicit | 40867 words 

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape.

Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago.

This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

31) With Stars Of Brightest Gold | Explicit | 41109 words 

Louis Tomlinson is the premier courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. In his dreams, he has always wanted to be a famous stage actor. Locked into his contract, he has little means of escape until a handsome duke promises him freedom with a romantic alliance. Due to a case of mistaken identity playwright Harry Styles is thrown into the mix, compelling Louis to choose between his head or his heart.

32) We Both Got Nothing To Hide | Explicit | 43811 words 

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

33) In A World Alone | Explicit | 50787 words 

Harry’s breath catches as the glow grows bigger and bigger until he’s squinting his eyes and blinking at the sudden intense brightness. He closes his eyes, rubbing at them helplessly. When his eyes open again- he gasps, grip loosening on his bow as he gawks at the sight before him.

Because the swan is gone.

And in its place is the prettiest omega Harry has ever seen.

A Swan Lake AU.

34) Hunting Ground | Not Rated | 583658 words 

Note: This fic is the third part of a series. Part two is #38 in this list.

Louis Tomlinson didn’t know how complicated life could be until he became a werewolf. And until he was mated to Harry Styles, the son — and enforcer — of Liam, the leader of the North American werewolves, he didn’t know how dangerous it could be either...

Louis and Harry have just been enlisted to attend a summit to present Liam's controversial proposition: that the wolves should finally reveal themselves to humans. But the most feared Alpha in Europe is dead set against the plan — and it seems like someone else might be too. When Louis is attacked by vampires using pack magic, the kind of power only werewolves should be able to draw on, Harry and Louis must combine their talents to hunt down whoever is behind it all — or risk losing everything.

35) The Wrath of the Emerald Eyes | Mature | 85205 words 

His chin is grabbed harshly, facing the two deep green eyes that have been getting on his nerves for the past ten minutes. The smirk on the man's face does not vanish. The grip of his hand on Louis' chin does not soften, his thumb at the side of his lower lip.

His smile widens as he answers Louis' question, ''My name is Styles, but you will call me Captain."

Pirate AU.

36) Cry Wolf | Not Rated | 85205 words 

Note: This fic is the second part of a series. Part three is #36 in this list.

Louis never knew werewolves existed, until the night he survived a violent attack... and became one himself. After three years at the bottom of the pack, he'd learned to keep his head down and never, ever trust dominant wolves. Then Harry Styles, the enforcer—and son—of the leader of the North American werewolves, came into his life.

Harry insists that not only is Louis his mate, but he is also a rare and valued Omega wolf. And it is Louis' inner strength and calming presence that will prove invaluable as he and Harry go on the hunt in search of a rogue werewolf—a creature bound in magic so dark that it could threaten all of the pack.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[fairynavi]

unbearable

a haikyuu x reader ficlet

words: 3.01k

pairing: tsukishima kei x reader

warning/s: just pure fluff about to be thrown your way my dude

Tsukishima Kei has never pegged himself as the romantic type. Yamaguchi can confirm. The blond has never read any of those romance novels during his leisure time, he never pays attention to the dramas his mother watches on TV, and he's never thought twice about dating someone.

He's never fallen in love with someone. He thought it was dumb to fall in love, Romeo and Juliet being a good contender as to why love is such a complicating yet stupid thing. He believes that loving someone romantically is a bother, that's why he's never looked at anyone that way. He's merely protecting himself from getting hurt from love because everything that's said in those romance novels are exaggerated, he tells himself.

Tsukishima was content with everything he had as of now. He's okay with focusing on self-improvement, he doesn't need to value or think of other things.

That is until you showed up.

You're a first year manager, alongside Yachi, of the Karasuno Boy's Volleyball Team and Tsukishima immediately deems you as another person to avoid because the first person you got along with was Hinata. Just like with everyone else, he doesn't interact with you that much, and only says what's necessary when he has to talk to you.

Unfortunately for him, he finds out that you're classmates.

Tsukishima doesn't memorize everyone's names in his class, he doesn't feel the need to do that ever. Once classes end, he's immediately off to practice with Yamaguchi, that is unless he's assigned for cleaning time, so he doesn't even remember you right off the bat.

During English class, the teacher picks you to read a passage from the story that you were analyzing. Being fluent in the English language, this didn't bother you at all. So you stand up and begin reading. Everyone's eyes are on you. They've never heard you speak English before, so they're all definitely surprised, especially a certain tall blond a few seats away from you.

'She's eloquent...', he thinks. Of course, that's what anyone would think if they heard you speaking right now. He's staring at you, and he only realizes when he hears the teacher commend you on your English. He's trying to focus on the lesson, but his mind keep coming back to you and your voice. It's lovely, and soothing in a way. He feels his cheeks heat up a little from thinking about you too much. He finally calms down and focuses back on the passage.

As classes end, the blond sees Yamaguchi begging something from you. As he gets closer, he learns that the other boy is asking for English lessons from you. Yamaguchi notices the taller boy and give him a quick greeting before giving his undivided attention back to you.

"Yamaguchi-kun, are you sure you want me to teach you English?"

"Of course, [Y/N]! There's no one else I know who's as insanely good in English as you are!"

"Well, alright. I guess I can teach you English."

"Teach me as well." Tsukishima finally speaks. Almost in sync, Yamaguchi and you whip your head towards the tall boy's direction. You're just as surprised as Yamaguchi is from Tsukishima's sudden and very surprising request. Tsukishima, of all people, is asking for help. He must be having that much trouble in English to ask someone else to help him.

You're the first to break the uncomfortable silence and you agree to teaching the both of them the subject, Tsukishima is forever thankful for you taking the initiative in changing the awkward atmosphere between the three of you.

Over the course of a few weeks, he's warmed up to you. He talks to you a lot more now, and very rarely he actually engages in the conversation first, but those were usually about homework. Thanks to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, you've developed a good amount of confidence in your skills as well. You're much more social than you were before, though that's because of Hinata's influence on you, and you participate in a lot of the class activities, be it extra curricular or just favors from your classmates.

Tsukishima always thought you'd eventually forget about him and Yamaguchi, so he stopped himself from getting too attached to you, but to his surprise, you never said no to Yamaguchi whenever he asked to hang out. Sure, you've made a lot more friends now, and you've gained some popularity as well, but you never strayed too far away from the first friends you've ever made.

Not only are you smart, but you're also incredibly kind and selfless, traits Tsukishima never understood. You'd almost immediately, and sometimes literally, drop whatever you were doing and go and help them with whatever they need assistance with, even if it's a little request like taking the trash out to the garbage bins behind the school. You basically thrived off of helping out, and Tsukishima is beyond intrigued by you.

You see, Tsukishima has never seem himself as selfless. He only does things that benefits him. He'll only agree if something is of use to him. To put it in other words, he's selfish. He's never done things to help others, he'll only do so if necessary, such as group projects. He's never the type to consider actually helping someone out because he just felt like it. If it benefits him, he'll do it, if it doesn't, he won't. Simple as that.

Before Tsukishima's even realized it, he's staring at you as you talk to a classmate of yours. Unfortunately, Yamaguchi notices the boy's lovestruck state and decides to initiate a conversation with him. "Tsukki, you've been staring at [Y/N] a lot," He says, catching the taller boy's attention. Tsukishima's eyes dilate in his sudden approach, his cheeks having a tint of pink, and he glares at his friend.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

"Sorry, Tsukki, but I'm just surprised how she hasn't noticed just how much you stare at her."

"... Is it really that obvious?"

"To me, it is. To her, it isn't."

Tsukishima groans internally. He didn't even notice that he was staring for so long until Yamaguchi brought it up. No, he will not admit that he was admiring you. Never. He'll get over this, right? This is just a one time thing... right?

Wrong.

He wants to get closer to you now. He wants to interact with you every day. He wishes he sat near you so he could ask for a pencil just so he'd have an excuse to talk to you. He hoped that his heart would stop beating faster whenever you looked at him and smiled. He hoped that his cheeks would stop growing pink whenever you laughed at a corny joke Hinata made. He hoped that his legs wouldn't get wobbly whenever he hears the mere sound of your voice. He hoped things would just go back to normal. But just hoping wouldn't work.

Tsukishima Kei has undoubtedly fallen in love with you.

And he's realized that when he overheard a conversation between you and a male classmate;

"Hey [Y/N]."

You stop erasing on the chalkboard and turn to face him properly. You dust off the chalk dust on your skirt and blouse and reply, "What's up?"

"I was wondering... Could we, you know, meet- uh, meet behind the school later? Before your club activities, of course..." He was clearly blushing, everyone could see that, he was fidgety, and he stuttered a bunch of times. Anyone could already tell where that was going. Except you.

"Oh, of course!" You smile innocently at him, as he smiles back widely. He goes back to his group of friends with a very victorious look you were unable to see. As you turn around, you are met with a pair of familiar pair of eyes, staring you down as if you did something unbelievable.

"[Y/N], what was that about?"

"I don't know, he probably needed help with something. Maybe homework. But he could've just asked me right here, it's not like I would judge him for asking for help. Maybe he's just shy, who knows?"

Yamaguchi face palms at your response, you're even more confused. The green haired boy looks at you in disbelief, and sighs in frustration, "You know what, I'll leave that to you to find out."

Yamaguchi did say he'll leave it to you to find out, but he needed to know how things would turn out. So he dragged Tsukishima along with him, who silently agrees to following you behind the school, despite you telling them that Daichi or Coach Ukai might get mad at them for being late. Yamaguchi, bless his soul, told the two of you that he would take responsibility and would take any punishment that went along with it.

The two boys hid behind the corner of the building, listening closely to your conversation with your classmate.

"Nakamura-kun, why'd you ask to meet me here?" You ask him, clearly not understanding the atmosphere that was around the both of you. Anyone who would catch you there would understand what was happening, but unfortunately, you just couldn't predict what was going to happen.

He stood there for quite a bit, fidgeting, and avoiding eye contact with you. His face seemed all red and you began to worry if he was getting feverish from all this. You take a step forward and he immediately freezes up from you getting close to him.

"Nakamura-kun."

"Y-Yes?!"

"Are you feeling ill? You look red. Maybe you should go to the clinic."

He shakes his head repetitively, saying he wasn't ill and that he really had something to tell you. You nod and wait for him to say it, as you didn't want to make him uncomfortable enough than he already was.

"I... I really like you, [Y/N]!"

"Oh? I like you too, Nakamura-kun."

Yamaguchi face palms. Tsukishima stifles a laugh.

"Really? Then, will you go out with me?"

"Go out? Right now? But I still have club activities." You tilt your head in confusion as he fumbles to find the right words.

"No! Not right now! Maybe on Saturday! Yeah, does that sound good?"

"Oh, perfect, I'm free that day. So which subject are you having trouble on? If it's Math, I can't really help you with that."

Yamaguchi is currently trying to stop Tsukishima and himself from laughing out loud.

"What?" He looks at you, his life draining out of him.

"We're talking about homework, right? Oh! Did I get it wrong? Did you need help with another thing?"

"[Y/N], no. I meant... I meant like go out on a date! Like a romantic date!"

You squint your eyes at him as you process the words in your head. One by one, the cogs in your slow brain finally start moving, and you finally get what he's trying to say.

"Oh, like those dates you see in the movies? I'm sorry, Nakamura-kun, I'm just not the person you should be liking, there are a lot more girls there that will surely make you happy. I'll just make you frustrated, I'm sorry. I really am." You bowed at him politely but he assures you that he doesn't need you to apologize, he just wanted a proper answer from you.

Hearing you say that made Tsukishima's heart drop. You were already aware that you'd make people frustrated with you, and he didn't want you to think that way. He felt a strong desire to change that, but you guys were just friends, he doesn't have a right to change anything about you, he doesn't even have the chance to.

You turn around to see Yamaguchi snickering like a kid and Tsukishima just looking at him with his signature annoyed look. You laugh and them and begin dragging them to the gym, where you were met with an annoyed coach, a concerned Daichi, and very curious players.

Despite having rejected that boy, there were still other people from other classes who tried to woo you with their pick-up lines, but you never really got them, so you just laughed and nodded in hopes of them not getting hurt by you not being able to comprehend any deeper meaning to what they say.

"Does your hand feel heavy, [Y/N]-san?"

"No? I don't think it's possible for a hand to feel heavy?"

"Nevermind."

You tried your best to understand, you really did. You just wanted to keep up with their pick-up lines, but you just couldn't do it. You've never had that kind of experience, so it was hard to understand what they were trying to say.

But without realizing it yourself, you were also beginning to get interested in a certain tall blond classmate. You quickly dismissed these reactions as something everyone can experience, you weren't the only one, of course. Everyone feels this way around Tsukishima. Right? Right?

"[Y/N], I can very much confirm that not everyone feels that way towards Tsukki."

Oh.

"So, your legs don't get wobbly and your heart doesn't beat faster around Tsukishima?"

Yamaguchi laughs and you feel yourself feeling embarrassed as he does so. You give him a light punch on his arm, since you can't reach his head, and cross your arms, a pout present on your face.

"[Y/N], I'm not in love with Tsukki."

In love? Is that what it is?

"I can't be in love. I don't even understand what love is enough to actually feel it." You say, trying to convince yourself more than you're trying to convince Yamaguchi, who only shrugs at your response.

"If you say so, [Y/N]."

The next few days were weird.

For some godforsaken reason, Yamaguchi had convinced Tsukishima to at least flirt with you a little bit, having learned that the blond was hopelessly in love with you, even though the taller blond told the other that you'll have the same reaction as you did with those other guys that tried to do a pick-up line on you.

The first time he tried to flirt, which was a pick-up line about a highlighter and brightening up his world, it turned into you telling him a story about how you accidentally drank water with highlighter ink thinking it was some kind of juice. He was actually immersed in the story sometimes, teasing you about how you couldn't recognize the color of the highlighter.

The second time he tried to flirt, where Yamaguchi would "accidentally" shove you into Tsukishima, he pushed you too hard and ended with you sitting on top of a very uncomfortable and potentially hurt blond.

The third time he tried to flirt, where he intended on staying close to you a lot, like sitting next to you during study sessions, walking next to you during the walk to the gym, just staying close to you in general, you didn't at all notice because you just thought it was normal for friends to do that, all the while trying to ignore your loudly beating heart.

The fourth and final time he flirted with you, was when you finally confessed to him.

Tsukishima is an observant person, so he's probably noticed your mannerisms around him by now. How your tone of voice changes when you talk to him, and how easilt flustered you get when you talk to him. He thought he had a chance, and he was right.

"I don't really like talking about feelings that much but Yamaguchi told me to tell you everything that I'm feeling. So, here goes nothing, I guess."

You take a deep breath and you suddenly feel as if the ground was shaking. You're terrified, but you have to do this. You've already committed to this. There's no turning back.

"Tsukishima, whenever I look at you, I feel really happy. Your voice makes me feel like I'm on the comfiest pillow in the world. Whenever you do that really cute smirk when you tease Hinata or Kageyama, it makes me laugh a lot. You're weird."

"Excuse me?"

"Shut up, I'm not done yet."

You inhale once more.

"You're really mean to Hinata and Kageyama, and you're also unintentionally mean to a lot of our classmates, but I like that about you. Whenever you offer to help me with Math, I kind of feel sad because I'm supposed to be the one doing all the helping!"

"You don't always have to help-"

"Let me finish! You're actually really nice, you know? I saw you playing with a stray cat the other day and giving it food and it made my heart do flips! You looked really cute. I don't know how to express myself properly, and when I try to, it's word vomit. I want to learn and try to be better for you, I want to know what to do with this slow brain of mine, and I really really want to do all those romantic stuff with you."

You're in the verge of crying, but you quickly wipe away any evidence of you crying.

"I... I think I like you, Tsukishima."

He doesn't say anything and you feel embarrassment creeping up behind you. The air is suffocating and you want to run away, but you legs are stuck to the ground. You feel ashamed in the other's presence, wanting to dig a grave and rot in it.

Then, you feel big arms wrap around your smaller frame, pulling you close to his chest, as he buries his face on your shoulder. He only hugged you for a while, as he isn't that type to prolong skinship.

You clear your throat and break the short silence between the two of you, "I've been meaning to ask. Did you flirt with me earlier?"

"Have been for the past week, but thanks for noticing." He replies almost immediately as you just stand there in shock.

"Oh."

"You're unbearable, [Y/N]."

You look up at him and laugh, punching his chest lightly.

"But you love me."

"Yes, yes I do."

this is my first haikyuu character x reader ficlet so i hope you at least like it a little bit hahahah

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

‘Ashamed to be Korean' extract — the Moon scam is paid for in blood, poverty, misery, sickness and death by a slave class of Japanese

September 30, 2012 This has been incredibly hard to do, but I have decided to sacrifice my national pride, personal interest and loyalties to start telling the truth about the complicated religious scams of the Moons and the so-called “Unification Movement”.

Why? Because I guess I discovered that I still had some conscience left alive somewhere inside of me, so I decided to come out and tell the truth, and before it shrivels up totally. Another reason for me to come out is the tragic and shameful truth that the Moon scam is paid for in blood, poverty, misery, sickness and death by a slave class of Japanese who have been, and continue to be, what must be the most hapless class of religious scam victims in history. This is worsened by the fact that the victims have been deliberately and cynically scammed by a group from another country.

I have no love or respect for the Japanese, and like most Koreans, I have rarely missed an opportunity to gloat at any Japanese misfortune with other Koreans but I guess I have to draw the line somewhere.

It is my intention to tell the truth about the Moons and the Korean feudal ‘aristocracy’ from the position of an insider in the hope that those members who still have enough of a vestigial conscience left functioning in themselves can know the unvarnished truth and fully understand the crimes that have been, and are still being, committed and either help stop the crimes from being committed, or at least walk away and not contribute even silently to these crimes. … It has been said that one of the problems with the Moon Church is that every country projects their own image of what they want the “Messiah” to be; The Japanese see an emperor to grovel to and worship, westerners saw Moon as the the second coming of Jesus, while for the Koreans a conquering King that will elevate Koreans above all other nations (you might as well know we think we are superior to the rest of the world physically, spiritually, intellectually, and culturally). Therein the problem starts, Moon’s genius was to able to manipulate facts and myths and lies to divide and conquer and get exactly what he wanted for him and his family and for Korea which has created the core culture and operating practice of the movement: Deception.

Some people may think that the Divine Principle is the religious doctrine of the ‘church’, but it is nothing more than a recruiting tool. The real ‘religion’ is like an onion, with separate layers of rules, requirements and benefits. The easiest way to understand the game is to realize that Moon wanted to set him and his family as a royal family governing as a theocracy from day one. His goal was to control all power, money, laws and rules, at least as much as he could get hold of.

The theocracy works by strict hierarchy with the Moons as the top royals, the Korean blood relatives as the minor royals, the rest of the Koreans as the aristocracy and top officials. The rest of the nations are all in the position of servants. The only absolute in the Moon church is the position of the Moons and the loyalty demanded from the members.

Have you wondered why all top posts involving power and money are controlled by Koreans?

Do not be fooled by the fact that we trust the Japanese more than our own and use then nominally to hold assets and the like – that is only because they are totally obedient.

What Moon and his family fear the most is meritocracy, God forbid if there was a level playing field, the whole game would be blown sky high. It is fantastic for us though, to have rules applied not only in a selective way but completely differently to always ensure the Moons and ourselves are on top.

My greatest personal amazement is how supposedly educated people in advanced countries have bought the enslaving myths of Moon that have in fact been precisely tailored for them without them realizing the utter insanity and nonsense of coexistence of completely contradicting realities and myths and rules, without even acknowledging the irony of it all! Maybe we are much cleverer than you.

The Japanese have bought the fantasy of ‘Eve Nation’, when in reality there never was and still is absolutely no intention to use them for any purpose other than for donations and slave labor. If and when they are no longer needed they will be dropped like a dirty habit in favor of another country (if one was available), this threat has been constantly drummed in to their heads to keep them desperate and obedient.

What they do not realize is that in private Sun Myung Moon, when he was alive, Hak Ja Han and all the Moon children and we 2nd gens in the inner circle not only have no respect for Japan and instead gloat at the way in which Korea has been taking over Japanese business, laugh at the Japanese members and refer to them in really raw, rude ways. We see it as a rightful revenge for what we think they did to us. On the other hand, we never fail to remind them of the indemnity they need to pay to us.

I have heard Japanese old members emotionally talk about how they will accept anything because they had felt loved by “Aboji” at some time. When they say this, they remind me of rabbits caught in the headlights, totally bamboozled by the Korean charismatic gift for delivering shameless emotional appeals at 1000 horsepower. The reason they were taken in is because they had only ever experienced emotion in Japan at 100 horsepower before meeting Moon, so they are convinced that 1000 horsepower emoting must be the real thing.

Given the Japanese unfortunate penchant for masochism, perhaps it is not surprising that they have been fooled, but I am truly amazed that more Westerners have not been able to see through this scam.

My jaw drops as members still refer to the Moons as “True”, as an unending string of evidence of their unbridled wickedness and hypocrisy appears on this and other sites, it makes me giggle involuntarily, as I watch Westerners falling over themselves to justify or deny their crimes contorting themselves to deny the truth.

My only explanation for it is commitment bias, nobody wants to admit they have been fooled. Please read the facts honestly and use your conscience to decide what to do. Remember the laws of physics and math, the laws of countries and most importantly of all the laws of morals and values either apply equally and universally or not at all.

Members have been trained like Pavlov’s dogs to do our (more accurately the Moons’) dirty work for us. Foreign members justify our crimes with that precise get-out-of-jail-free card that the whole Moon scam relies on.

Read more here: https://tragedyofthesixmarys.com/ashamed-to-be-korean/

___________________________________________

In 1965 Japan gave $800 million as reparations for their occupation of Korea

The Japanese government supported Korea with $800 million in 1965, $400m in 1983 and over $10 billion in 1997.

Sun Myung Moon Church used the Japanese members for profit, not religious purposes – the world’s greediest church

Suicide of Japanese ‘Moon money mule’ in Uruguay. Mother of three children

A huge Moon Church scam in Japan is revealed

Shocking video of UC of Japan demanding money – English transcript

Moon extracted $500 million from Japanese female members

Japanese woman recruited by the Unification Church and sold to an older Korean farmer

How Sun Myung Moon bought protection in Japan

The ‘True Father’ who could not forgive. Sun Myung Moon: “I haven’t been able to release my grudge towards Japanese people yet.” November 2011

[danielcooperrp]

We Two Boys Together Clinging

Halfway through 19th Century American Poetry and Drew has a sensation with which he is all too familiar: eyes boring into the back of head. It doesn't matter how many times he's been gawked at in a restaurant or in the allergy aisle of CVS (hay fever is a bitch), the feeling of the little hairs on the back of his neck standing up never fails to make him want to slink into a hole and die. He tries to ignore it, tries to focus all of his attention on the professor, who is droning on about the difference between various editions of Leaves of Grass, but that only lasts so long. Eventually, he caves, and he turns to look. 

He's not shocked when the dark eyes watching him quickly dart away—people are often abashed when they get caught staring—but it is a surprise when, a few moments later, they return to meet his. The face they belong to is handsome, warm, dark skin, a strong jaw, a slightly crooked nose that suggests some kind of trouble, and—oh. Two rows of perfect white teeth that he sees now because the face is grinning at him, an inviting, dangerous grin, and now Drew's the one looking away, his own cheeks glowing red. His eyes burn holes in his notebook—he hasn't written a word in so long, he'll have to research this edition issue on his own later—and the other guy's eyes burn holes in his skull. 

Why is he looking at him like that? Drew hasn't said a thing all class, not that any of them would be able to get a word in edgewise. His eyes dart down to check his outfit; a little schnerdy, sure, but nothing that stands out in a Harvard classroom. He risks it again; a quick look back, and that smile is still waiting for him, this time a little softer, like he's happy he keeps getting caught. 

By the time class ends, Drew is a sweaty mess. He has no idea what the professor said for the last half of that lecture, but he's not going to stick around to ask. He tosses his notebook and his copy of Whitman into his satchel and slides into the mass exodus from the room. He lets himself be carried toward the building exit by the river of hungry undergrads, hoping that he avoids whatever situation was brewing behind him in class, but the river comes to a screeching halt when everyone notices that it's pouring buckets outside. Those smart enough to plan ahead whip out their umbrellas and leave, and some who don't have any other choice lower their heads and shoulders as though preparing to take a charging bull head on and foray bravely into the downpour. 

Drew doesn't have another class for forty-five minutes, and even though he was planning on getting lunch in the interim, he really doesn't want to get this sweater wet, so he decides to duck into an alcove and wait it out. He pulls out his phone, Googles the information he thinks he missed in class, and is halfway through an Encyclopedia Britannica article when someone clears their throat. He looks up and blinks owlishly. It's the teeth. 

"Hi," the teeth say. "I'm Xander." 

Drew stares. He doesn't know what to do with this information. During the rare instances someone deigns to talk to him, an introduction like "I'm Xander" is almost always followed by a request like "Can I get an picture?" or "Do you know where the bathroom is?", depending on if he's been recognized or not. But this...this is just warm brown eyes and a big shiny smile that he doesn't know what to with. 

"Drew Cooper," he eventually blurts out, remembering that he is in fact a human person with a name. "Um. Hi." 

Xander leans casually against the wall adjacent to Drew, the fabric of his shirt pulling tight over the bulk of his arms as he crosses them over his very muscular chest. "You know, I really liked what you had to say last week about the em dashes in Emily Dickinson's poems. How they're meant to give you space to breath but really end up making you feel breathless. Professor didn't know what do with that, but...I liked it."

What is happening what is happening what is hap— Drew swallows thickly. "Oh. Thanks. I, uh, visited the house in Amherst a lot growing up. School field trips, family weekends...I'm...familiar with her work."

Xander nods toward the corner of Leaves of Grass sticking out of Drew's satchel. "What about Whitman? He a favorite too?"

Drew shrugs. "Sure. Mostly 'Song of Myself' and 'Drum-Taps,' but generally...yeah, his language is...unparalleled." Drew pauses, unsure, and then continues. "Reading Whitman always reminds me that I need to look around more. That everything is beautiful if I let it be."

The smile grows bigger. "I really like the way you talk about poetry, Drew Cooper." Xander reaches into the JanSport he's got slung over one shoulder and pulls out an umbrella. "Want to talk about it over lunch?"

—————

It’s not until their third post-poetry class lunch that Drew finds out something interesting about his new friend. “Wait...you’re on the football team?”

Xander laughs, a loud, warm sound that makes Drew feel like he’s part of the joke instead of the butt of it. “Yeah, yeah, I’m on the football team.” Drew makes a face. “What?”

“Well...don’t take this the wrong way, but...” Drew swirls his spoon in his cup of clam chowder. “...is Harvard’s team any good?”

This earns a longer, louder laugh from Xander, who takes a bite of his grilled chicken when he’s done. “In the grand scheme of things? No. We go up against Auburn or Clemson and we’re getting our asses kicked, no questions asked. But against the teams we actually play? We’re not half-bad.” 

“So what position do you play?”

“Tight end.”

“Oh, I know that one. That’s...an important one.”

Xander suppresses the laugh this time. “It’s okay, Cooper. You don’t have to pretend to like football.”

Drew scrunches his nose. “I’m sorry. I come from a sports family. My dad and my older sister, in particular, they’ll talk for hours about football or baseball or hockey...it all goes over my head.”

With a shrug, Xander says, “Well, you’ve got enough good stuff going on in that head. No need to waste brain space on stuff that doesn’t matter.”

Drew feels himself starting to flush, so he quickly tries to shift the focus. “Well what about you? If football doesn’t matter, why risk CTE for it?”

“Scholarships, Cooper! You think Harvard pays for itself? I got in on test scores, but test scores don’t get you out of loans. Football does.”

And doesn’t that make Drew feel so silly. He knows how unbelievably lucky he is, that he had every semester of higher education he could ever want at whatever university would take him paid for before he was even born. If he had the mind to, he could keep taking classes at Harvard or Yale or Oxford until he died and he’d never have to think about the cost. Xander actually has to work for his education, and Drew feels like a little kid in comparison. 

—————

They’ve been in a little back corner of Lamont Library for a few hours now, bent over their respective texts as they work on assignments for different classes. Drew’s nose-deep in an anthology of Helen Hunt Jackson, while Xander’s scribbling away at equations for one of his insanely complicated math classes. They work in comfortable silence, and every once in a while Drew wonder how strange it is, the easy way they spend their days together. 

At one point, Xander throws down his pencil in disgust. “That’s it. Cooper, I’m dropping out.”

Drew makes a face. “You’re not dropping out, Xander.” 

“I am. No economics degree is worth this.” He gestures vaguely to his chicken-scratch math homework. 

“I mean, you’re not going to hear an argument from me, the guy studying History and Literature.” Drew peeks at the equations. “Would it help if you explained it to me?”

Xander furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...my sisters always head more of a head for the STEM subjects, while I’ve always been better at...” He waves a hand over his poetry book. “...softer stuff. But when I was a kid, my dad, who’s, like, an insane science nerd to the max, would tell me to pretend that I was the science teacher and I had to teach him the homework. It really helped. Explaining out loud, going over each problem piece by piece, helped me understand it better.” He flushes. “It’s just a thought, though. You don’t have to...”

“On one condition.” Xander smirks. “You have to tell me all of your thoughts on Thoreau afterward.”

Drew can’t fight his grin. “Deal.”

—————

Drew’s schedule is light on Tuesdays, so he’s back in the apartment he shares with Aidan, about halfway between Harvard and MIT’s campuses. She’s here, too, ditching a class she claims is “beneath the mathematical sensibilities of a first-grader.” She and some friend Drew is sure he should know the name of are on their little balcony, sipping wine coolers and people-watching while Drew reads for his early Wednesday class. Mostly, really, he’s listening to them gossip.

“See her?” 

“Blond ponytail?”

“No, by the crosswalk, with the dog. Don’t tell her you have a fake ID, she’ll narc on you in a heartbeat.”

“Get out!”

“Dead serious. Freshman down the hall got busted because of her.”

“What a bitch. Over there, those two: dating or siblings?”

“They’re practically identical, so I’m hoping siblings....Oh god, please let me be wrong...”

“Who’s that?”

“Where?” 

“Coming down the sidewalk here.”

“He’s hot, whoever he is.”

“I’ll say.”

“Wait...why does he look familiar....”

“Wasn’t he at that party two weekends ago? The one on Banks Street?”

“Oh my god, that’s it, he’s on the Harvard football team!”

Drew’s head snaps up. 

“Tell you what, he could score a touchdown any day. Look at those arms...Drew?” 

Drew scrambles off of the couch and flings himself onto the balcony. Aidan gives him a wild look. “What the hell?”

Peering over the edge, Drew spies Xander just as he gets to the front door of their building. He doesn’t need to use the buzzer, because someone’s coming out. “Oh.”

“Drew?”

Ignoring his sister, Drew rushes back to the couch, where he grabs all of his books and notebooks and tosses them into his backpack. Then he races into his bedroom to grab shoes. “I, uh, have to go! Study thing!”

Aidan looks down to the street and back to her panicked twin. “Drew...are you friends with a football player?”

“No!” Drew squeaks. “Yes! I mean, yes, we are friends. We have a class together. I have to go!”

Aidan squints in suspicion as Drew charges out the door. When it slams shut behind him, her friend says, “Does he know his sweater is on backward?”

Aidan shrugs. “Not my business.”

—————

“Why do you hang out with me?”

It’s a hazy October afternoon, and Drew and Xander are hanging out in Flagstaff Park, studying. People call out to Xander as they walk by, and Xander gives them a friendly wave or a “Hey man!” but makes no move to get up and socialize. Drew knows he’s quiet, not the best conversationalist in the world, so he wonders. 

“What do you mean?” Xander looks at him like he always does, like Drew is about to say something absolutely revelatory. 

“I mean...shouldn’t you be hanging out with the rest of the football team? Is that what you’re supposed to do?”

Xander seems amused. “Is that what you want me to do?”

“No,” Drew answers too quickly. “I just...I don’t know. I’ve never had someone spend so much time with me who wasn’t a blood relative, that’s all. And it seems like you have a lot of friends so...I don’t know...forget it...” Embarrassed, he turns back to his history textbook. 

A wide hand, fingers splayed, plops down over the pages, and Drew looks up to see Xander rolling his eyes. “I hang out with you so much, Cooper, because I like spending time with you, and also, I’m hoping that if I earn enough goodwill you’ll let me take you out to dinner at some point.” 

Drew freezes. “I—what?”

“I mean, if you’re not into me, that’s fine. I’m a big boy, I can handle it. But the thing is, I think you are into me, which is great, because I’m into you too, but I don’t mind biding my time until you’re ready.”

Every single neuron in Drew’s brain is misfiring. “You’re—into me?”

“Man got himself into Harvard just to outshine the professors and he still can’t read what’s right in front of him.” Xander sighs. “Yes, Cooper, I am into you, and would like to start seeing you socially in a romantic capacity.”

“But...you’re on the football team!” 

“I—what?” Drew just gapes at him. “Cooper...” Xander starts to laugh, slow at first, and then harder.

“Wait, why are you laughing at me?”

“It’s just...really refreshing to talk to someone as woefully out of touch as you are.”

“Hey!”

“Cooper, I dated a guy on the swim team for like two months last year. My being gay is...not news. To anyone.”

“Apparently not my sister,” Drew grumbles. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” Drew shakes his head. Nothing is making sense. “Do you know...who I am?”

“...We’ve met, yeah.”

“No, I mean...my family.”

“Oh.” Xander shrugs. “Yeah. Did some light Googling. I mean, c’mon, a white boy as quiet and smart as you? I had to be sure you weren’t secretly a neo-Nazi or some shit.”

“I’m Jewish,” Drew mumbles, “but that’s not the point. You know...who I’m related to.”

“Yeah. Am I supposed to care?” Xander reaches out and takes Drew’s hand, interlaces their fingers together. Drew’s heart is pounding so hard in his ears he can barely hear Xander speak. “Cooper, I am an economics major. I don’t want to date you because your grandpa was a billionaire. I want to date you in spite of the fact that your grandpa was a billionaire.”

Drew chokes out a laugh. “Fair enough.” 

“I mean, you’re cute and all, but don’t think I won’t eat you for sustenance when the class war starts.”

His laugh is louder this time. “Stop.” 

“So what do you say?” A squeeze of the fingers, and a squeeze to his heart. “Drew Cooper, will you go on a date with me?”

Drew chews on his lip, and then he nods. “Yeah. Yeah I will.” 

Then Xander grins his perfect white grin, and Drew knows he’s a goner.

[billyspotato]

Can I request an imagine with Billy where the reader is a sweet girl that accidentally flirts with and compliments everyone,(girls+guys). And like, she likes billy a lot so he thinks she’s wrapped around his finger, but then sees her flirting with Steve or someone and he realizes he likes her more than he thought? Sorry it’s a long ask. I love your writing!! 💖💖💖

Sweet - Billy Hargrove

[Requested] - Thank you for liking my stuff.

Words: 2.356 words

Type: Fluff 

Summary: What’s written on the request

Warning: English is not my first language. Sorry if I misspelled something.

A/N: Gif’s not mine

You walk out of your classroom and try to make your way to your locker without being shoved or shoving anyone out of your way.  You open your locker before getting all your books inside of it and you sigh of relief as the weight of the books is finally off of your shoulders.

“Hey Y/N” A girl says as she approaches you, “I wanted to ask you if you would like to hang out with us this weekend?” She asks while pointing at her friends.

“I would love to, but I’m helping some people from my Math class with next week’s test” You say as you grab your lunch, and she gives you a small smile. “Sorry”

“Oh, It’s alright. We can always hang out another time”

“Yeah, of course” You say while closing your locker’s door.

The girl walks away after giving you a small smile and you look around the hallway. Almost everyone has gone to the cafeteria.

In Hawkins High, you have the king of the school, the one who everyone hates, the one everyone loves and the other cliché titles. You fit in the ‘the one everyone loves’ since you were never seen being rude to anyone, even the ones who deserve it.

You are always sweet with everyone and you try your best to help who asks for it.

When it comes to the king of school, it’s complicated. The past king, Steve Harrington himself, is now a friend of yours, even though you only talk in some classes or out of school. But the actual king of school, Billy Hargrove, is the one who makes your heart skip a beat when he looks at you, your hands sweat when he asks for your notes in class, and makes your anxiety is insanely high, when you have a longer conversation then 2 sentences.

It is no doubt that you have a huge crush on Billy. It’s no surprise to you or to Billy, who as noticed the way you act when you’re with him, making his ego increase.

You and Billy don’t really talk that much but when you do, it usually is about school or about future basketball games.

What you don’t know is when you are talking to someone else or helping someone else, Billy’s eyes are always on you, trying to read your lips to try and know what you’re telling the other person. Once he’s caught by anyone in his friend group, he would just say that you were looking at him as well.

In Billy’s friend group rumors started: The nicest person in school has a crush on Billy Hargrove. How is that possible?

After walking to the cafeteria, you sigh at the sight of the filled tables. You walk while looking for an empty seat and you finally found a table, which is completely empty.

This seat is pretty isolated from everyone else, but you couldn’t care less. You were planning on doing your homework, so the more isolated, the better.

You take your lunch out of your bag and as well as the book that you’ve been reading this past week.  As you read and ate your sandwich, Billy stays seated on the center table looking at you.

Baby blue eyes glued on you, watching your every move.

“Hey, do you think she could make my English homework?” Tommy’s voice sounds, waking Billy up from his thoughts.

“Who?” Billy asks with a confused look.

“Y/N…? Is that her name?” Tommy asks.

“Why would she do your homework?” Billy asks, not caring how aggressive he sounded.

“Come on, she would do anything for you to look in her direction” Tommy says, and Billy rolls his eyes chuckling.

“Stop being a lazy bitch and do your own homework” Carol tells Tommy as she catches what they’re talking about.

As the group of friends laughed and talked about you, you were totally focused on your book since you already finished your lunch.

Some guy starts walking to your table and Billy’s eyes lift to you once again. As you notice that someone is standing right in front of you, you look up and give the guy a smile.

“Hi, do you need anything?” You ask with your bright smile.

“Yeah, all of us” He starts as he points at his table, where his friends gave you a small wave or smile, “we’re doing our science homework. Do you think you can help us in this question?” He asks as he gives you his science book.

You take it from his hands and read the question that he pointed. You look away to think for a second and start looking through the previous pages.

“I’m pretty sure the answer is in this page.” You answer, putting the book down on the table to show him, “I don’t really know the exact answer, but it might be here”

The guy looked over at his book and checks what page it is.

“Thank you so much” He tells you with a smile.

“You’re so welcome. By the way, I love what you did with your hair” You say commenting the guy’s new look.

“Oh, you noticed?” He says running his fingers through his hair.

“Of course, I did.” You say while looking up at the new straight hair, hiding his natural curls, but achieving the look he surely wanted.

“Thank you” He says with a genuine smile while walking back to his table.

You smile at him once again and you look back at the book on your table, sighing as slowly closing it.

You really need to do your homework.

You grab your notebook from your backpack, and you get up to throw away the trash from your lunch.

Billy’s eyes come back to you after glaring for some time to the guy who just talked to you. Billy’s eyes run through your body as you throw everything away.

He looks back to the guy that previously walked to your table and he notices that he’s showing something to his friends on his science book while pointing at you with his pen. Billy concentrates on what he is saying, and he got: ‘she said the answer is somewhere…’.

An imaginary lightbulb lights up over Billy’s head and he gets a new idea to grab your attention. He isn’t understanding why he feels such need for you to give him attention, but he isn’t concerned about whatever it is, he just wants it.

Billy grabs his math notebook quickly and opens it to check if he has any homework and the universe is on his side.

“I’ll be right back” Billy tells Tommy, who is dramatically sighing at his English homework.

“Ok, ok” He says not even looking at Billy.

Billy gets up from his chair and starts making his way to your table. He doesn’t wait for you to look up at him and just sits right in front of you, catching your attention.

“Hey” Billy says with a small smile and you try your best to not freak out.

“Hi” You ask with a tone of confusion.

Billy opens his Math notebook and you look at his every move.

“Can you help with this?” Billy asks and you turn his notebook around to read it.

“I’m actually doing it right now, so if you want the answers. It might take a while” You tell him, and he shakes his head.

“I don’t need the answers, I just need the explanation” Billy says, and you smile at him.

“Ok” You say while nodding.

You explain to him how to do the first question and Billy listens to your every word and looks at you in the eyes. Even though he doesn’t need any help, his plan is working.

As Billy does what you just told him. You continue doing the question you were doing previously.

You try to breathe slowly and calm down your heart, since it’s not everyday that your crush sits down in front of you in lunch, even if it’s just for homework.

You two stay silent as Billy looks up from his notebook a few times to look at you. You noticed but decided to not say or do anything.

After helping Billy with the other 6 questions, he decided that it was time for him to go back to his group. You didn’t really care since you deep down knew that he was only giving you any type of attention because he needs help with his homework.

Once you finished your own homework, you shoved your things back on your backpack and left the cafeteria.

You walk back to your locker and you get the book that you’ll need for this next class. You check your watch and the class is in 10 minutes.

Being early won’t hurt anyone.

You walk in your classroom and you can’t help but say that you’re surprise to see Steve already seated down on his usual seat.

“Hey” You tell him, and he looks up from his notebook to you.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Not much. Didn’t see you in the cafeteria” You comment as you sat on the table next to him.

“Yeah, I decided to go eat at the diner.”

“Thanks for inviting me” You say with a not so serious tone.

“Yeah, I know… I just- I-” Steve struggles as he tries to get a good excuse. “I forgot, I’m sorry”

“Don’t worry about it” You say with a smile, “I was just joking”

“Were you really?” Steve asks as he leans back on his chair, “Or you’re just hiding how you are just dying to get some alone time with me” He says wiggling his eyebrows.

You and Steve try to hold your laughter for a bit, but it didn’t really work.

“You know I can’t resist-” You say as you try to keep the conversation going but almost falling into laughter, “that head full of hair”

Steve laughs with you and as you see people walking in the classroom, you jump out of your seat as Steve continues to smile your way.

You take a seat in your usual table and once you look in Steve’s direction, he winks at you and you laugh while shaking your head.

What you didn’t notice was that Billy walked in the room right in that second, and that moment with no context, can foul anyone into thinking that you are giggling away like a teenager in love.

Billy walks to his seat, which is 2 tables behind you, and continues to send glares at Steve, even though he’s just really sending a glare to the back of his head.

(…)

The class is almost ending, and Billy’s fist has been clenched the whole class and his eyes didn’t leave you or Steve.

You two continued your joke while in class, and nobody noticed but him.

Everyone gets up and starts leaving the room, while you put everything in your bag, taking your sweet time. You stand up and Steve looks over his shoulder at you.

“Do you need a drive, today?” He asks and you shake your head.

“My mom’s picking me up” You lie at him.

“Oh, okay. See you tomorrow, then?” He asks and you nod.

“Yeah” You say with a smile.

Steve walks out of the room and you walk out a little bit later. You get out of the school building and act like you’re waiting for someone to appear in the parking lot, as you really just waited for Steve to drive away.

You lean back on the wall next to the front door and sigh while looking at the ground.

“Hey, Y/N” Billy says as he appears right next to you, “Can we talk for a second?”

“Sure” You say, “Is everything okay?” You ask as you notice his look for distress.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just wanted to ask you something”

“Go ahead” You say as you hugged your books close to your chest.

“Are you and Harrington a thing?” He asks and you look at him for a second before starting to laugh, making him feel even more confused.

“God no” You say after some good giggles later, “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. It looked just looked like you had ‘something’ in Math class”

“Since when is Billy Hargrove ‘just curious’ about anyone’s possible relationship?” You ask lifting your eyebrows.

Billy stays silent after your question and you can’t help but smile.

“Was that the only think you wanted to ask me?” You ask tilting your head to the side.

“Yeah” Billy says walking away slowly from you, his thoughts swallowing him slowly.

‘You need to at least ask her’. The little voice told him, and he inhaled as much as he could while he thought for some good seconds.

The need of grabbing your attention, the need to keep his eyes on you and the anger that boiled in him as anyone was too sweet or too flirty with you can only mean one thing. One thing that Billy hates to admit.

He likes you back.

“Actually” He says after exhaling the breath he held for so long, turning back around and walking back to you.

“Yeah?” You ask him and he smiles as his heart speeds up.

“Would you like to go out this Friday?” Billy asks you and your eyes widen.

“Go out? You sure?” You ask him and he nods. “Like-”

“Like a date, yeah” Billy says while nodding.

Your silence after his sentence was painful for Billy, it’s like you stopped time, making everything even more painful for him.

It obviously wasn’t on purpose, you were just screaming inside, yelling ‘thank you Jesus’ while keeping a straight face on the outside.

“I would love to” You say, and Billy finally exhales, relaxing his tense shoulders.

“Is 8pm okay?” He asks and you nod with a small smile. “Do you need a ride home, by the way?”

Your eyes go to the now empty parking lot before your eyes could meet Billy’s once again.

“Yeah, I kinda do” You say and Billy smiles.

- - - -

🌸✨Sorry, but I’m not writing in this account anymore. Go check out my new one @twinklelilstarkey✨🌸

[gaysneeg]

okay so like. apollo justice. seven years have passed, and there's a new lawyer with a dumb as hell name in town >:)))

his name is apollo, and he's like one step away from a nervous breakdown at all times. he yells about the fact that he is fine like all of the time, even in fucking court

it's his first case !! he's nervous about the defending, but mostly nervous about his client, bc the man is a big deal, even though he looks like a fucking whore

so he heads in, and the trial of phoenix wright starts. yep. that bitch right there? that's phoenix wright. yikes ✨

so the trial starts, and apollo's mentor, kristoph gavin, is being fucking weird💛 but it's fine, and the trial starts off well, with the only hitch being when nick has the same locket that went missing from the victim, but all is revealed when he shows that it contains a picture of his daughter (yeah mans has a kid plot twist he is a dilf)

so they go on, and things go pretty well, they corner a witness, apollo unlocks his lawyer superpower, and they almost finish the case but then nick interjects with an objection, and accuses apollo's mentor of the murder

they argue back and forth like pretentious assholes for a while until a recess is called, in which this girl who's probably nick's kid shows up and gives apollo a playing card with fucking blood on it bc this case had to be more complicated ig

so they go back in, apollo manges to almost prove the murderer is kristoph, but he needs irrefutable proof, so he presents the playing card (it makes sense i promise but im not explaining this case it has MATH in it) and wins the trial. hes done it, it's great, he also doesn't have a job bc his boss is in federal prison for murder but it's fine !1!1!

he talks to nick after the trial, at which point he reveals that the playing card was forged evidence !! wow !! apollo gets mad and drops the bombshell that nick was disbarred seven years ago for forgery ✨ he never believed it and nick was his hero, but y'know its fine it's not like that was like the whole reason he became a lawyer or anything !1!1! so he punches nick in the face and then the bitch gives him a card for his old law office and tells him to stop by if he needs a job

he voes not to, but then he does anyway bc he has bills to pay ✨

he meets phoenix's kid, trucy, who's a 15 year old magician that he adopted after the case 7 years ago. they go talk to nick, who's in the hospital with a mildly sprained ankle after getting hit by a car and flying 40 feet into a telephone pole bc of course he did. he spouts some cryptic bs at them and they leave to do the filler cases

im skimming though these bc i hate the filler cases with a burning passion (a blind 14yo is accused of shooting a guy with a gun he couldn't have used without shattering his shoulder, it's bad) but the rival prosecutor is introduced. his name is klavier gavin, he's kristoph's brother, lead singer of a famous band, and his first trial was the one that got nick disbarred. so like drama insues his band breaks up various people fucking die yada yada LAST CASE TIME

you're gonna have to bear with me here bc this gets real buck wild real fast

so nick sends apollo to be the defense on a trial he's been experimenting with, one that implements ✨ the jurist system✨

he goes to meet his client, they talk and investigate, the only thing they really learn day one is that the victim was a famous forger and the stuff he was poisoned with came from a seven year old stamp

so they go to the trial and argue back and forth for a bit, and eventually prove that the poison came from a stamp that belonged to Kristoph Fucking Gavin, but before they can get him on the stand, the client drops down. PLOT TWIST !! her nail polish (given to her by a secret person) had poison in it and she ate it when she but her nails !!

so then the next investigation sequence happens, and

okay this is buck fucking wild but. nick appears in the fucking void, seemingly addresses the player directly, and then tells them about this fun thing he's been working on called the 'mason system' that allows them to 'see his experiences' by going from seven years ago to the present (yeah no it's not his experiences he has future knowledge in the past my man invented time travel) and several things are revealed, including

- apollo and trucy are siblings

- this one witness in the third case is their mom

- their dad is the victim from the first case

- phoenix was framed for forgery by kristoph

- he did this because the victim of the first case, who was the defendant in the trial seven years ago, dropped his defense for phoenix's

- phoenix has been aware of all this but never felt the need to mention any of it to apollo

so after it becomes absolutely batshit insane, they just kinda go back to court, and they manage to prove that kristoph did the murder and poisoned the client and framed phoenix, but the judge won't have it

luckily, it's the jurist system babey✨✨✨

so they win the case, and then go out for noodles or some shit, and like i would say they live happily ever after but both of the games after this are like. So Bad. like fucking rancid, they took the characterization and fucking squashed it and then ruined the point of the og games, -1000/10

these games are fucking wild though. also a very interesting read 10/10. love how they go out for food at the end that’s very neat.

I always just ignore bad game sequels or whatever. they did not exist if I do not want them to nope.

[grimelords]

I have been unbelievably busy for all of 2020 so far. Starting a new job and crunching to finish an old one, it's been very good but it has also meant that I haven't had the downtime I'd have liked in order to write long screeds about when drums sound good in songs so my December and January playlists unfortunately never got finished. They will exist as 'lost' playlists in the grimelords canon where you will simply have to listen to them and have your own thoughts about the songs instead of having your judgement clouded by me saying things like 'this sounds nice' and 'I love when the guitar goes woo-eee'.

You can listen to them here:

December https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4crPEVSPwftPpWl14xUrXF

January https://open.spotify.com/playlist/25MP7onYLCwWRYBIi0u3yc

As far as this, my February playlist goes: It's great! It's two and a half hours. The songs sounds nice and the guitars go woo-eee. I was worried I wouldn't be able to listen to as much music with my new job but it turns out I'm listening to more than ever which is extremely nice. Please enjoy, and if you'd like to subscribe to this playlist please do so here: https://tinyletter.com/grimelords

Listen to this playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ZraEZOeS6qvVxfnz3AJS9

Ballad Of The Skeletons - Allen Ginsberg, Paul McCartney, Phillip Glass and Lenny Kaye: I had a dim childhood memory of this 1996 Hottest 100 funny skeleton song that my sister randomly brought up this month and was was shocked to find out that somewhere deep in my brain the part where the electric chair skeleton says “hey what’s cooking???” was still stored. I was also shocked to find out that the funny skeleton song I remembered from when I was a kid was actually a collaboration between Allen Ginsberg, Paul McCartney and Phillip Glass and was an unexpected hit on MTV and Triple J in 1996 for an as yet unknown reason.

I Can Go With You - Sam Burton: This song came up in my Discover Weekly, and I was so excited to listen to more of this 70s singer songwriter I've never heard of before who has no doubt had a long and illustrious career and was shocked to find out that not only is this song from 2020, it is also the first and so far only release by Sam Burton and his debut album is coming out sometime this year. I love how plain it is, and the first time I heard it it made no impression on me until a couple of hours later when I realised I was humming the melody to myself. It has this decepitive simplicity to it, and it sounds like a song you've always known which is really about as good a compliment as you can give a song. I also love this statement from him: “I was writing a song a day for 30 days as a personal challenge to myself. I Can Go With You came near of that practice and I considered it a throwaway at the time. After recording most of the album I still needed a couple more songs and decided to throw it on and we recorded it live followed by two others. When I listened back it ended up being one of the tracks I was happiest with on the record.” I love when artists are asked about songs and they have no divine inspiration to relate, just a process of daily work where they're like "well, I wrote it, like I always do. Did the chords and the words and everthing just like normal. I write hundreds of these things and this one came out pretty good. I don't know what else to tell you."

Wild Dogs - Colter Wall: This is a song by Billy Don Burns who you can probably expect to see on this playlist next month, and who as I understand it is one of these 'real' country guys that have been around for a million years and only ever had success when other people sang their songs. So it's very nice of Colter Wall to continue that tradition for him. I love the way this song takes the metaphor to a place of almost uncomfortable literalism, a tryst metamophising into something private, bloody and feral. The subtle way the lap steel whines slowly along in the background before stepping out and taking centre stage once the song picks up steam near the end is a marvel too.

Tom's Diner - Suzanne Vega: I had a live version of this randomly recommended to me by youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkYPge6ZKSQ and it made me see this song that I'd always been sort of aware of in a new light and really properly appreciate it for the first time. Somehow I'd never noticed the last verse where it moves from literalism to memories, and of course that's sort of the moment that ties the whole song together. What I really appreciate about the acapella arrangement is that it feels like this is a song that's existed a million times before but she's the first person to actually write it down and record it. Everyone's made up a little dishwashing song or a little walking song, reciting some to-do list in your head. It's an entire genre that exists under people's breath for a few minutes and gets immediately forgotten.

If You Don't Know Now, You Never Will - Drugdealer: I could have sworn this was a Tobias Jesso Jr song. I really just assumed it was until I looked at the credits. It's such a nice song though and I'm glad this sort of 70s californian vibe is making a quiet comeback because it is just uniformly pleasant and it's nice to hear these sorts of arrangements, with the accenting violin runs and things like that. All the extra decorations and ornamentations that have sort of disappeared.

Crimson Tide - Destroyer: I absolutely love this new Destroyer album because it just feels like such pure uncut Destroyer. I’ve always thought of him as a sort of 400 year old vampire lounge singer who is just amusing himself at this point and so the cover art has really confirmed my suspicions on that front. The lyrics through this whole album are so good, the sort of stream of consciousness strangeness like ‘when lightning strikes twice the funeral goes completely insane’ that takes a on such gravity because he sings it with complete deadpan seriousness.

Truth (feat Alicia Keys and The Last Artful, Dodger) - Mark Ronson: I didn't really give this album a chance when it came out but ever since I found out Alicia Keys is good now (Time Machine) I've been looking for more good Alica Keys work and found one here. The Last Artful, Dodger is one of the worst artist names I think I've ever heard but she absolutely kills it on the way she says biiiiitch so I'll forgive it.

Surf & Turf - Boldy James + The Alchemist: Alchemist's production on this whole album is so incredible. He really just lets Boldy go and doesn't get in his way like good production should. Especially on the opening verse where Boldy James sticks with that loping flow for so long in 3s over 4 that matches that arpeggios in the beat, it's just a perfect harmony of rapper and producer.

Fat Mac - Duke Deuce: Misogyny in rap is a real issue that nobody seems really allowed to talk about because it's obviously very complicated, and this song some real classic 'stay in the kitchen' type woman hating in it and is basically incredibly callous and cruel throughout. However this beat is hot and there is also a part about a third of the way through where he says "fuck her till that pussy fart" and then makes a big fart noise, so.

Set It Up (feat. Trina) - Kamaiyah: I only found out about Kamaiyah's fantastic 2016 album A Good Night In The Ghetto about two weeks before her new one came out so I've been on a real Kamaiyah hype for a little while now. She's just fantastic. I love this song because I love the part where Trina seemingly out of the blue threatens to piss in my mouth. The first time I heard it I said 'wow!' out loud.

Come As You Are - Greg Phillinganes: There's something going on with the pop math in this song that I just can't put my finger on. It feels for all intents and purposes like this should be a hit. The melody is great. The big synth voice is great, it's got extremely fatty bass. It's great! But something about the structure of it is just off, it's got too many sections or something. Which kind of makes me love it more really.  

Devotion - Pure Bathing Culture: What surprised me the most about this song is the secret shredding happening throughout. It feels like a sort of clean and cool guitar that hasn’t existed in the wild since the Lethal Weapon soundtrack and it adds such an energy to this already completely wonderful song.

Paper Cup - Real Estate + Sylvan Esso: The production on this song is just so beautiful. The violin melody and the pillow soft synths really add such an extra dimension to it. The tone on everything really. The guitar in the solo. Every time I listen to this song I just want to listen to it again because it goes down so smooth.

Mark Zuckerberg - Nap Eyes: I’m a very big fan of the way this song transitions from a sort of TMBG novelty song halfway through into a lonely and beautiful thing instead. It’s like he got distracted and wandered off in the middle of his set but the camera followed him. I also haven’t heard a lyric in a long time that made me bark laugh so instantly as “And what does he do with all that sand? He collects sand right? I think I read that somewhere. Seems innocent enough.”

Viking Hair - Dry Cleaning: I fell in love with this band immediately on hearing this song. The way the spoken lyrics sit in a place of almost coherence, dipping between mysterious phrases and earnest admissions feels like Life Without Buildings for a new generation. I love the feeling of a huge crush at the centre of this song that comes through achingy in every single word, even when she's talking about abandoned refrigerators.

LeBron James - Do Nothing: This is my number one song this month I think. I've listened to it every single day and I cannot wait to see what this band does once they've got more than a couple of songs out. It's my absolute favourite kind of lyrics: the kind that sounds like you just wrote down every one-sided phone conversation you overheard on the bus and then the music is some halfway point between Black Midi and Franz Ferdinand. What else do you need!

Can I Receive The Contact? - The Spirit Of The Beehive: The Spirit Of The Beehive's album is one of the best I heard this month. The way the production incorporates sound collage and samples without diluting the immediacy of the songwriting is really something special that feels hard to pull off in a rock context but sounds effortless through this whole album. The way this shifts at the end into the odd time section is so great and really the way the whole album flows like one long track is just amazing. Please listen, I'm obsessed.

An Air Conditioned Man - Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever: There is so much space in Rolling Blackouts songs. They just go and go, sitting in this great jam space without feeling shaggy. The tempo across the album stays pretty consistently at this breezy, upbeat, driving speed that makes it feel like as soon as one song ends the next one just picks up exactly where it left off. It almost feels like a studio confines them and they'd be better off just recording their album live at a show where every song can go for 8 minutes like it wants to.

Leak -Truth, yesnoyesnoyes- - Boris: I got to see Boris and Merzbow this month, which was a great treat for me but it was also at a seated theatre venue which was a very strange choice. Sitting down and clapping politely as Merzbow pressed the screaming button feels odd, like being at an 1800s World's Fair show about the wonders of electricity or quite literally like being the guy in the chair getting blown away by the speakers in the Maxell ads. I bought earplugs for the show but ended up pulling them out for the last three songs or so to properly experience it, and it was fucking great. Something I was thinking about after the show is that it's interesting how Boris mostly have clean vocals, and really approach metal as an idea from and angle that's more shoegaze than Slayer. Aside from the immense volume, there isn't a lot about their music that I would describe as agressive, even most of what Merzbow added to the set was just extra feedback frequency noise, not atonal agression. I don't mean this in a trve kvlt way, more like it's interesting how they've taken the aesthetics of metal and refined them into pure amplifer worship, in their words, by either playing straight drone, or just playing normal hard rock at inhuman volumes. Boris are very good is what I'm saying, and I can't wait to listen to more of their extremely large discography.

Nameless Streets - Defeater: I've never really listened to much hardcore and I'm not really sure why. I've listened to Defeater's first two albums to death though so maybe it's time to branch out. What I love about this song, and this band in general is the vocal delivery. In a lot of agressive music from metal to screamo, because the agression and emotion is always sitting at a 10 the nuance can get lost and it becomes a sort of white noise, but Defeater have a nice way of backing off musically and vocally here and there to let the hard hits really hit hard. The outro to this song is also some absolutely world class snare work, building a tension bed in the simplest way thats relieved when the rest of the band comes crashing back in.

Boys In Town - Divinyls: I love the true desperation in this song. The trapped in a small town, surrounded by fuckers stress that gives way in the second half to just screaming "get me out of here!!". I am also interested in the evolution of the phrase 'too much, too young' and would like to know whether this song is referencing the song by The Specials, and if the Defeater song on this playlist is referencing this song or The Specials song, or if all three came up with it independently. It's a simply enough phrase, I suppose they could have. Who cares, really.

Body By Crystal - Spike Fuck: Come on a journey with me and imagine a world where Alex Cameron makes good music. That's Spike Fuck! The sort of burned out, past their prime singer desperate for a hit in any sense type of character - except actually put together with some heart and emotion and not an 80s comic book writer's understanding of human lows. I cannot wait to hear more from Spike Fuck.

Rogue Wave - Aesop Rock: It is something of a marvel how consistently high quality Aesop Rock's work is. For all his verbosity and expansive vocabulary he seems to never veer into white guy rap god flexing for the sake of it. Even a song like this that's 3 minutes of dense verses with nothing resembling a hook doesnt feel exhausting, it just feels like a series of extremely pleasing words and images like "take it where the warlocks lock horns, soda pop, popcorn / top notch gore set to Bach over fog horns" that makes my brain go "nice".

Momentary Bliss (feat. Slowthai and Slaves) - Gorillaz: I love the strange rollout Gorillaz are doing for this album, building the tracklist one song at a time. It's a nice way to force close listening, especially in songs with odd structures like this. I love hearing how different prouction changes Slowthai's approach; on this and Deal Wiv It that he did with Mura Masa it feels a lot brighter than anything on Nothing Great About Britain and there's a playfulness in his flow that comes through accordingly. Gorillaz are always moving around musically but I love how much of a live band feel this has compared to the more studioy sound that killed their last album for me.

We Will Always Love You (feat. Blood Orange) - The Avalanches: I am so excited at the possibility of a new Avalanches album already, and this is the perfect song to have as a lead single because it functions more like a teaser. Like 'would you like an hour more of this kind of beautiful, loving dream?'

Tar Sequence - Lalo Schifrin: I found out a little while ago that the local news theme when I was growing up was actually this song from the score to Cool Hand Luke, and according to a bunch of other guys in the youtube comments it was the local news theme for a lot of stations across America as well. The scene is of a prison road gang working under the blazing sun, and I'm sure someone could write a thinkpiece about the soundtrack to the nightly news, and really the platonic ideal of news themes in general stemming from the score to a scene about prison labour. But not me! I'm just going to write this little post and say we all owe Lalo Schifrin our lives for inventing the sonic pallette of kung fu AND the news, which is an incredible achievement whichever way you slice it.

When You - Tha Pope: It's a little bit of a shame that footwork is 'over' now but I suppose that's the way of things. The intro to this song is an absolute all timer for me. The delay soaked tag, the extended organ lick and then a total gear shift into this shrieking vocal sample that sounds like something has gone wrong but is revealed in actuality to be the centre of the whole track. I absolutely love Pope's little adlib at the start, and halfway through when he brings it back - it injects some real humanity into this cacophonous, volatile song and lets you know someone's done this on purpose, they've not just turned every dial to 10 and pressed play.  

Jonny/Jonny (Reprise) - Faye Webster: I am absolutely in love with the tone of Faye Webster's voice and especially the way she slowly slides up to the note at the end of every line in the verse. This is a song that belongs to the great genre of songs that sound like they were entirely written and performed while laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. The reprise here comes back at the end of the album and I love it so much. It feels like a Sex And The City monologue set to music, an underexplored genre I'd definitely like to hear more of.

Holes - Matt Berninger: Matt Berninger of The National covered Mercury Rev's Holes for a series of charity 7"s that Planned Parenthood are doingand I really love his take on it. It's a difficult song to cover because it is so beloved, and I think he does really well to not smooth out the arrangement into any sort of easy listening version. The rumbling piano and the extra vocals that mirror the original saw sound near the end are just wonderful. The part that always breaks my heart in this song is the "bands" line at the end and he really does it perfectly without being overdramatic.

Ta Aro - Nadia Reid: I love the way this song is just soaked in tension and potential energy. She has a beautiful way of holding a note just past the edge of her breath, like when she sings 'glory hallelujah' or 'I am stronger' and in the wordless refrain that just draws me in. Then the way it all closes in on itself and shadows close in at the end while it swells to this beautiful thunderstorm of sound. Just great.

Purify - Neurosis: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'listen to a new album every day in February and write about it' and I thought 'fuck it why not' and started doing that. I kept a little note in my phone of every album I listened to that I'd never heard before, and I ranked them out of 5 so I could remember which ones I liked. I ended up listening to 49 new albums which surprised me, and it was surprisingly easy to do as well so I've decided to keep doing it in March as well. Highly recommended. A nice side effect of constantly searching for new things to listen to is it's given me a chance to hear bands that I've always heard about and know the name of but never actually listened to for one reason or another, which is how I got to Neurosis. It's nice to hear this kind of industrial 90s metal that I'd only ever previously heard in Tool from another angle, and it is especially nice to hear bagpipes in a drone metal context - a thought I'd had independently about a week before hearing this album and was glad to have willed into existence before me.

Shallow Sun - Real Estate: Time! I love a song about aging that mentions specific years and ages so you can count along on your fingers. '25 in 2010... so he was 24 when they put out in their first album.. 39 in 24.. so he's... 35 now.. and i'm 28... which means I'm... 3 albums behind..'

Quand Vas Tu Retrer - Melody's Echo Chamber: I'll listen to any song in 5/4. It is simply groovy. This song is so beautifully textured it feels like you can just get completely lost in the sound while the groove moves it along.

Living Through Another Cuba - XTC: I think I've posted this song on one of these playlists before but fuck it, the more time passes the more I think this might be one of the best songs ever written and a complete and total encapsulation of the cold war mood. The absolute maniac resigned powerlessnes on full display, screaming and shouting about pullings fins from an atom bomb and the absolute certainty that even if the world isn't destroyed this time it'll all come around again soon enough anyway.

Time - U.S. Girls: I am a huge proponent of the long song at the end of the record as a concept, and really I believe every song should be the long song at the end of the record if at all possible. This amount of colour in this jam is just incedible, it never gets weighed down or waylaid it just keeps moving though an ever shifting kaleidoscope and I absolutely love it. It also reminds me of Los Bitchos who were on one of my secret lost playlists from December so it's nice to have their vibe represented here at least. This song also interestingly ties into a thought I was having this week about the limits of music wherein time is the only immutable constant. In all of life music is an inescapable constant of course, but in music especially compared to visual art or written art, time is an inexorable force. You simply cannot bend time in music, a song or performance will always have a duration that will define it, short or long, which cannot be muted or played with in the same way that rhythm or tonality can. 4'33" is a good example of that, being devoid of everything except time. When there is nothing, there is still time. Canyons of time.

Bad Magic - Weyes Blood: I got to see Weyes Blood a couple of weeks ago and I feel extremely blessed that I did. She's just amazing. She played this song solo as her last encore, and she's in a sort of interesting position of blowing up majorly on her fourth album so people (myself included) weren't overly familiar with her older stuff. So when she said 'this is a song called Bad Magic' everyone clapped politely and one woman right up the back screamed "oh my GOD??" which is the kind of personal, just for her, singular experience I'm always here for. Hearing this song for the first time in that setting has really made me fall in love with it. The thing that's always alienated me a little abot Weyes Blood's earlier work, and the thing she changed so dramatically on Titanic Rising is the structuring of her songs. Titanic Rising embraces pop songwriting so wonderfully where her earlier work was so much shaggier and harder to access as a result - but in this song I love it. This song is meandering and long and wanders around in circles and I'm here for every second of it.

Listen to this playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ZraEZOeS6qvVxfnz3AJS9