#people want answers and at the same time don't

[ill0usainte]

But, we friends thou? 3k+

pairings: virgin!caleb x virgin!reader

cw: unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, college au, corruption, nipple play, dry humping, messy make out, rough sex, choking, overstimulation, rubbing, loss of virginity, dom!caleb, hentai reader!caleb, cherry popping (iykyk), both are inexperienced, stomach bulge, creampie, pet names (princess, pipsqueak, pretty girl), edging, nasty sex, no penetration, squirting, mentions of blood, crying

Caleb is known for being the heartthrob of the campus. He's everything that people want-- smart, handsome, athletic and was rumored to be "big" down there. A lot of girls in the campus have been gushing over your best friend. Many have been saying that he sleeps with different girls everytime-- but was it true?

And of course, in your part you don't get the hype about Caleb. Yeah, he's your first kiss but so what? As his best friend, you both share secrets with each other. And one secret that you've kept about him is that....

He's a virgin himself.

As cocky as he is-- of course he'd feed into those rumors about him just to boost his ego. Little do they know, he's just a virgin otaku who reads hentai mangas on his free time. At first, it did bother you that he started reading those-- but as time passed by, you got used and even shared some recommendations you've found. And started having interest of his likings.

"Have you seen the new publish?" He asked, eyes glued to his phone as he scrolls. You leaned your back against your chair as you cross your arms.

"Of course, the art improved a lot" You answered, crossing your legs while Caleb shows you a panel of the erotic manga he's talking about. "You bet! It looks so realistic!" He chimed, pointing at the part where the girl was getting fucked and you can only push his phone away.

"Seriously, be glad that some of our classmates went out" You scoff, leaning against your desk as you grab your bag and started putting your textbooks inside. "Come on, I know you agree that scene was hot!" He raise his brow to tease.

"Shush" You silenced him and he only shrug in response as you continued putting your things inside your bag. You can't lie but that scene was really hot-- the way that the guy was dicking down the girl so good. Makes you wonder how would it feel like if it was you.

Your thoughts were pushed away when he interrupted. "Oh, I almost forgot" he said, straightening his back as he grab his bag and opened it. "I just finished the manga that you recommended me a few days ago" Grabbing the book from his bag as he placed it on your desk-- and you were quick to snatch it. It was embarassing the fact that the cover of the manga was a girl getting railed.

Hugging the book against your chest as you glare at Caleb and punched his shoulder, earning a grunt from him. "No need to be harsh, pipsqueak" He chuckled, as he looks at you in amusement.

You whisper curses at him as you opened your bag wider to fit the book in but something suddenly fall out.

A condom.

"Wha-" He froze, as his eyes widened-- looking at the packet of condom over your desk. Your eyes shifted to him as you look at him confused.

You hum, and followed where his gaze was at-- making your heart drop when you saw the packet of condom over your desk, you quickly grab it by your hand and shove it inside your bag. "Haha- my bad...." You chuckle awkwardly as you sweatdrop, closing your bag and rested your hands over your lap-- eyes glued to somewhere while you pretend nothing happened.

"I'm pretty sure that was a condom...?" Caleb thought, sweadropping also as he cleared his throat. But at the same time he wants to push your buttons--to see where you'd last.

"...an interesting thing you're carrying around...." He smiled, making you uncomfortable as you felt heat rising through your body out of embarrassment.

"It's just something I bought out of curiosity....." You answered, fixing your skirt because it was revealing a glimpse of your plushed thighs. Caleb noticed how you shift--only makes him want to push further. I mean maybe something might happen after this?

"Oh...I thought you're going to use it"

"Huh- haha no way...."

Awkwardness seeps between the both of you--while you try to not steal glances at the male. Inhaling deep as you question him.

"Do you have one, Caleb?" You asked.

"Have what?"

"Well...a condom?" You whisper, loud enough for him to hear as you toy with the ends of your skirt. Caleb blinks as he looks away, leaning against his desk while fidgeting his pen.

"I don't...not like I'd have a chance to use one anyway" He joked, shaking his head lightly. You nod at his words as you pursed you lips. You can't help but wonder if all of those rumors about him is true-- about "big" he was. Even though you knew he's a virgin there's still apart of you that doesn't believe that.

Class ended early as you and Caleb walked together. Talking about the new mangas that were published while enjoying each other's company.

"I swear that old man should stop giving us new assignments everyday" Caleb sneers, putting his hands behind his head while walking besides you.

"He should, I swear I noticed his bald spot earlier during lecture" You snort, making him laugh at your words as you joined.

You were glad that everything went to normal-- that Caleb forgot about that condom incident earlier. You can only swear that if he brings up the topic again you would just dig your own grave out of embarrassment.

The laughters piped down and you both continued walking together-- your eyes focused on your surroundings while Caleb on the other hand is urging to bring up the topic again.

"Hey"

"Hm?" You answered, eyes glued to the path.

"So, that condom talk earlier.." He spoke, looking somewhere while you paused. Cursing at yourself because you knew Caleb damn well--if something peeks his interest he wouldn't let go of it.

Inhaling deep as you face him--he puts his hands inside his pockets and gave you a sincere smile-- not that smile, you knew that he's plotting something which makes your body shiver at the sight of it.

"If someone were to ask you to 'use it' would you?" He asked, tilting his head as he waits for your reply. The question makes your body heat rise as you put a hand on your nape.

Letting out a soft awkward chuckle as you look at him "That's way to sudden" You mutter, making Caleb chuckle as he puts a hand over your head-- ruffling your hair.

"Like y'know, the thing I read on that manga you let me borrow" He said and your shoulders tensed up. Glaring at him as you pushed away his hand away from your head because it was messing up your hair.

"Hmp, don't bring me into your erotic fantasies" You huff, brows furrowed while you clutch onto the strap of your bag.

But the thought of it sends excitement through your body onto your clothed pussy-- I mean you'd always wondered what it feels like getting fucked and would you waste this chance? But the only problem is that, Caleb.

You can't imagine seeing your childhood best friend dick you down-- but the thought of it. Too consumed by your thoughts, Caleb pushed the topic further.

"So, what do you say?" He asked, making you snap back at your thoughts. You gulped as you look at him. Lowering your head while you fidget with your fingers-- hesitating if you're going to do it or not.

"We only live once, so risk it!" The voices in your head said in unison.

"I'll let him use it.."

It didn't take long for you two to arrive at Caleb's dorm. Feeling nervous as you try to calm yourself-- while Caleb on the other hand was all chill. You can't help but feel frustrated, can't even believe that you're going to loose your virginity to this man in front of you.

But what you didn't know, is that Caleb was more anxious than you. You both sat besides each other over the edge of his comfy bed as you clear your throat catching his attention.

"So what now...?"

"Right-- Uhm" Putting a hand over his nape as his usual sheepish attitude drains out of his body.

"...let's get naked first." It's rather a command than a question--Caleb nods at your words as he chuckle.

Pouting at him as your hand playfully pushed his face away from your direction "...I don't want you to look.." You confessed, face flustered making him smile as he hums.

"I'm still going to see you naked later, y'know that right?" He teased only for you to push him away more making him give up as you face his back.

Pursing your lips as you unbutton your top-- starting from the top to the button. Your eyes trailed to the figure in front of you-- Caleb removed his shirt in one go, revealing his well built back. And what got your attention was his muscular biceps. You can't help but stare at it but you were interrupted when you heard him talk.

"Like the view?" He chuckles, making you roll your eyes as you told him to shut up. As you finished unbutton your top, you slowly removed it from your body--leaving you just in your lacy bra hugging your plushed tits.

"Hey"

"Hm?" You hum. "Can I look?" Caleb asked, moving his head to the side a bit as he tried to get a glimpse of you behind. You quickly used your arms to hide your tits while glaring at him.

"You sound like a pervert"

"Come on, princess" He pleaded, Your gaze focused on his back as you sigh-- finally giving up as you removed your arms away from your chest. The man in front of you then quickly shifted his body to your direction-- now facing you as his eyes trailed on your plushed tits. His face flushed as he licked his lips-- letting out a soft chuckle while smiling.

"Wow....I couldn't tell at all that you're hiding something like these behind your clothes" He remarks, making you gulp as you sweat drop. "Is that so..." You mutter, lowering your head as your eyes focused on him.

Don't look at him with those eyes-- those doe innocent eyes of yours. Makes him want to bend you over and just fuck you on the spot.

Biting your lower lip as you both stare at each other. "Can..I touch them?" He asked, his hands clenching-- eager to touch your plushed tits. You nod at his words, he had to look at you again to make sure-- his hands tremble as he reached out to your tits in display.

Palm of his hands came in contact with your plushed tits as he gently massaged it-- he couldn't believe it, he's finally touching a literal tits right now. His gesture made your body squirm as you try to bit your lower lip to muffle your moans. Breathing softly as your hand reached behind your back to undo the hook of your bra. Unhooking it in one go as your bra fall from your shoulders as it spills out your bare tits to the male.

His hands continued to massage your tits, thumb toying your perked nipple as you let out a moan-- making him startle as he retrieved his hand.

"Ah- sorry" He apologize, you shook your head and reached out for his hand-- bring it back to your tits. "N-no...you can touch them however you like" You mutter, making Caleb gulp as he starts to feel heat gushing through his body. You're definitely putting fuel to the fire.

Caleb is anxious as he continued massaging your tits with both of his hands-- thumb rubbing circles and pinching your perked nipples earning sweet whimpers and moans from you. The sight makes his cock harden inside his pants-- he can't help but feel aroused seeing you so sensitive to his touch-- so needy.

Your soft moans occupied Caleb's mind-- your moans can't even compare to those erotic hentais he watched, yours is too hot-- like music to his ears. You blabber words at him but he's not listening at all-- too focused on fundling your tits.

You can't help but feel satisfaction that you're able to fill his thoughts-- smirking as you look at him with your hazy eyes. "Are they your satisfaction, miste--?" Your words were cut off when Caleb suddenly lounged at you and pinned you down over his bed. Both of his palm holds your wrists at both side as his soft lips latched onto your tits earning a yelp from you while you squirmed.

"W-wait-..Caleb--!" But he doesn't budge, continuing to suck your sensitive tits as his hot tongue swirls around your perked nipple making your toes curl. His other hand lets go of your left wrist as he reached out to your thigh and places it on the side of his hip. Positioning his hardened cock against your clothed pussy.

Feeling the arousal gushing through your aching pussy as you feel him grind his hardened bulge against your wet clothed pussy. Finally removing his hand from your other wrist as it moves to your left tit and massaged it while he sucked on the other one. Your hands run through his black lock and tried to push him away from your tits--but he wouldn't, still latching on it like a hungry mad man.

"Ngh-! Too much...C-Caleb....Caleb-!" You moan, as your hands cup his cheeks pushing his face away-- he finally gives up, earning a loud 'pop' when he pulls away from your perked tits. Cupping his cheeks as you can see drool from the side of his mouth making you grunt as you noticed how he filled your tits with his saliva.

"Please..." He pleads softly, rubbing his cheek against your palm like a cat begging its owner for food. His muscular arms sneaks behind your back as he wraps it around your waist-- burying his face against your tits. Where did the usual cocky Caleb go?

Letting a soft whimper as you feel him grind against your wet clothed pussy-- shamelessly. Caleb lift his head up as he looks at you with pleading eyes.

"Wanna put it in so bad....but..."

"I don't want to rush you" He exhales, while your heart flutters in awe. Caleb has always been prioritizing your needs other than his-- he wants to make you comfortable, he's not the type to rush you to do things. You flutter your lashes as you lean closer-- connecting your soft lips to his, Caleb melts against your warmth as he relaxes, continuing to grind slowly against you.

His hand reached to the waistband of your skirt along with your lacy panties as he slowly pulls it down-- discarding it on the floor. Pulling back from the kiss as you both pant-- your tongue sticking out as a string of saliva connects to both of your tongue. You're such a hot mess for Caleb-- it makes his cock twitch even more.

"So sensitive just for me...."

His fingers brushed away some strands of your hair from forehead-- you blink, noticing a wet patch on his gray sweats, your eyes then trailed on the visible bulge in front of you. Making your wet pussy twitch.

Caleb is not experienced--but he learned a lot from those hentai mangas he read. And of course a key to start off railing a girl aka his best friend is to penetrate their aching pussy first. He said to his mind.

While you on the other hand was eager-- already wanting to be dicked down by Caleb. Want him to stretch your virgin aching pussy so bad.

"Caleb"

"Yes, princess?"

"Please fuck me"

His brows raise in surprise as he looks at you "But, I need to penetrate you first-- it might hurt if we're going straight at it" He said, tone laced with worry. He feels like he's rushing you-- he doesn't want to.

Feeling embarrassed as you looked away "It's okay...I can handle it" You whisper, your cheeks flushed red. Caleb is having mixed feelings-- he never seen you so vulnerable, so submissive towards him. He can't help but want to abuse the control he has over you.

He clicks his tongue as he chuckled-- grabbing your hand and intertwined it with his, kissing the top of it as his eyes locked on yours.

"You're going to take it like a good girl." It wasn't a question-- your mind goes hazy, all you can think of is being intoxicated with the heat of both of your bodies. You flutter your eyes at him and nod-- following his order like a puppy.

He lets go of your hand and slowly pulls down his sweats-- leaving him with his boxers, you can't help but look at his visible bulge. Oh he's hard-- very hard. You gulped at the sight of it, noticing a wet patch on the part where his tip is-- already oozing pre-cum.

"Don't stare at me like that" He snorts, grabbing both of your thighs-- hands gripping the plushed flesh as he placed it on the side of his hips.

Pulling down his boxer as his hardened cock bounced up against his pelvis-- your eyes widened when you see his cock in display.

You felt embarrassed-- those rumors were indeed true. Caleb's cock is thick and long-- you can see visible veins lining while his angry red tip is already oozing cum.

"W-wait-!" You breathe out when you see him position his aching cock against your hardened clit.

You both locked eyes-- his eyes were filled with love and lust while he continued on rubbing circles against your hardened clit using his tip-- using the pre cum as a lubricant to make it slippery to rub on.

"Let me take care of you..." He muttered, rubbing his tip against your wet pussy lips-- smearing his cum all over it. Earning moans from you as your toes curl, feeling his gritty cock run against your folds to your hardened clit. It sends arousal to your throbbing wet pussy.

Caleb lets out soft grunts and moans as he holds his hardened cock with his palm, pumping it up and down while pressing it against your clit-- making your body twitch with every stroke.

He fastened his pace of rutting his aching cock against your hardened clit. "F-fuck-- I haven't even got inside of you..and I'm already a mess with just rubbing it against your pussy..." He growled, continuing to rut against you making your eyes roll as you felt the bed shaking.

Breathing heavily while you endure the friction against your hardened clit to your puffy slit--a drooling mess as he mixed his pre cum and your juices together and smearing it all over your poor pussy.

Feeling the arousal rising-- you can feel your climax taking over, too overstimulated as you're eager to cum. But just right after you felt the walls of your pussy throb as it ready to release--Caleb stopped rutting his angry tip against your hardened clit. Making you whine in return while you look at him with your glassy eyes.

"W-wha- why--,?" You complained, looking at him while he brushed some strands of his hair sticking out of his sweaty forehead. Panting heavily as his gaze towards you darkened. He lets out a husky chuckle while kneading the plush of your thigh with his hand.

"it'd be a waste if I'd cum outside, right? " He whispered, leaning close to you as your perked tits were pressed against his chest. Feeling his hot breathe against your skin-- making you hitch, your ears perked when you hear him reach out to your bag placed over the nightstand beside.

Even feeling intoxicated, you moved your head where his hand was reaching at-- you quickly grabbed it as you pull it away from your bag. Making Caleb confused as he breathes.

"What?" He stopped reaching out to the condom inside your bag-- you pulled his hand away as you guide it towards your lips. Placing kisses against his fingers with your soft lips while you look at him with your hazy eyes-- just filled with words unsaid. And for Caleb it just translates into "raw, next question"

The sight makes him aroused as he shook his head lightly. "Too impatient? Bad girls like you needs to be punished" He said-- voice low and husky as he slowly pulls away his hand from your grasp and pulls in down-- tracing your chin to your neck.

You bit your lower lip-- you try to hide the fact that you're getting more hornier seeing Caleb being so dominant towards you. But your fucked up face didn't helped. You yelped when you felt his veiny hand grab your neck as his grip tightens--not in a way that you couldn't breathe.

"I'll make sure to fuck you so good-- shit, even better than the ones I've read." He chuckles, making your mouth agape as he pressed your legs against your perked tits. His other hand holds his gritty cock as he positioned it against your drooling slit.

Your heart beats faster-- too anxious and aroused at the same time, while you wonder if his cock would even fit inside your tight little pussy. Too occupied with your thoughts, you suddenly felt him push hit tip inside your tight hole-- causing your eyes to widen as you let out a grunt.

"ngh-! I-i...I don't think it will fit--! Ah!" You moaned, feeling him force his tip to stretch out your tight hole. His hand tightened more around your neck as he chuckles."H-hah-- it's just the tip and you can't handle it?"

"fuck, I wonder what would it be like if I slam my whole cock inside?"

Tears stream down your cheeks while you drool. Seeing him having a hard time pushing his gritty cock inside your pussy--earning loud moans from you while you endure the way his tip is stretching your little hole.

"'ts hurt...s-so much.." You babble, as you bit your lower lip. Caleb pants, as he slowly pushed his gritty cock even more-- your tight hole finally swallowing his whole tip. Even with just the tip inside of you, makes Caleb want to cum and make a mess out of you.

"f-fuck--!"

It's so warm-- he feels like he's in a kiss of ecstasy. The way the walls of your warm tight pussy is hugging his tip so good while it throbs-- is such a euphoric feeling. Shit, he can't even describe what he's feeling right now, finally having to empty his balls in a literally pussy and not with those hentai mangas he reads.

You cried out while Caleb drill his gritty cock inside your warm tight pussy. Both of your bodies tremble, his hand finally letting go of your neck as it joins to hold both of your thighs together and pressed it against your tits. You finally exhales as you try to catch your breath-- hands gripping the covers of the bed tightly.

"nghhhh-! Hah- 'ts hurt so much, I can't-!"

"Fuck!" You screamed, feeling his whole cock slide inside of you so quick-- tears streamed even more as you cry out, grunting as you felt the pain of his gritty cock stretching your tight pussy so good. You drool as you try to process of what happened, feeling a hot liquid oozing out of your entrance.

"S-shit, tight hole finally swallowed me whole" he chuckles, eyes looking down at your pussy sucking him. Blood dripping out of your entrance--just like what he saw on every hentai mangas he read, a cherry pop. His hand reached for your clit as he rubbed circles against it-- making your legs tremble.

"'m gonna start movin', 'kay?" He muttered making you nod as you swallow your cries. He leans close to you-- kissing your forehead as brushed some strands of your hair away. Forehead against each other as his lips slammed to yours. Pulling you into a heated kiss--pushing his hot tongue inside your mouth, as he explored every part.

You moaned between the kiss as you feel him pump his gritty cock in and out of your tight pussy. He was only pushing a small distance inside your pussy--trying to stretch you slowly before he dicks you down for real. You swallow his cock so good, he can't help but grunt each time the walls of your warm pussy throbs--on how it hugs his fat cock so well.

Angry red tip kissing the lips of your womb as he continued on with his pace-- you felt a knot forming inside while gushing an upcoming climax thought your throbbing pussy.

Hot tongues dances and swirls with each other-- leaving you both in drooling mess while you suck on his tongue. This was different from the first kiss you two shared-- this isn't a small peck anymore this is one nasty heated make out.

Hot bodies against each other-- you can't feel your juices oozing out of your pussy as it soaks the covers of the bed, leaving a nasty mess under.

His thumb continued on rubbing your hardened clit-- using your juices as a lubricant for it to be slipper to move on. Your body twitches when you felt him pinched your clit, earning a soft whimper from you.

He pulls away from the kiss, smearing your drool to the side of your mouth while you pursed your lips. Just right after that you yelped as you felt him fastening his pace of fucking your tight pussy. You cried out, your hands wrapping around his chest while you dig your nails against the flesh of it-- earning a grunt from him.

"fuck-- ha- how d-does it feel? Seeing your best friend taking your virginity" He snickered, the fucking is so sloppy-- you hear the sound of your pussy slapping against his pelvis-- causing clap sounds.

"'ts so fuckin- hot- ngh-- dicking you down"

The gushing of your blood and juices mixed together as he fucks it back in-- you can feel your climax on its edge, ready to release. You babble nonsense while you cry against the crook of his neck. Sticky body against each other while he plants kisses over your face.

"cum--! Cumming-!" You screamed out, tightening your legs wrapped around his hips as Caleb continued to drill his cock inside of you relentlessly-- stretching your walls so good as his cock fills every part of it.

You bit down his neck and cried, releasing your high as it squirts against his cock and pelvis. Your pussy is definitely designed just to be a cocksleeve for his fat gritty cock.

"hah-...cum for me, pretty girl"

Poor you, your mind is occupied of Caleb's fat cock. It amuses him that you're a blabbering mess-- just letting out words like "too much, hurts, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, cumming-, cum, Caleb" and he loves you for that. Because it means he dicking you down so good-- it made you feel like you're in cloud 9.

Caleb grunts as he felt your hot juices against his cock-- squirting endlessly as it drips down like a waterfall. He can feel your hot breathe against the crook of his neck while you sob, but he doesn't stopped there.

"d-dont be passing out-- h-hah..on me" He muttered, pulling out his whole cock out as he slams it back in-- he continues his rhythm as his fast pace remains unchanged. Fucking you like a dog in heat and like there's no tomorrow.

"no more-! Ngh-! Caleb--!"

He continued drilling his fat cock inside while your mind goes hazy as you feel like passing out. Caleb's breathing unsteadies, feeling his throbbing cock twitching inside of you as he pump it in and out-- he can feel his climax building up to his tip. His thumb pushed down his bulge against your stomach as he continues fucking you-- feeling his tip hit against the walls of your stomach.

The walls of your throbbing pussy tightened around his fat cock-- preparing for another release. He felt it too, causing him to let out a hoarse grunt as he continued to rut inside. "Fuck..fuck fuck-- I-I'm cumming, pretty girl"

"w-where-" Before he could finish his sentence you replied quick.

"I-inside!"

And with that, Caleb lets out a soft whimper-- shooting loads and loads of his thick hot cum inside your tight pussy, painting the walls white as he fucks it even more inside of your womb. Following, you release your high, squirting as it drips down out of your pussy--oozing along with his cum.

Caleb hugs you against him as his body trembles still shooting more loads inside your aching pussy as it tightens around his fat cock. You hugged him back, feeling you clench around him as your mind went blank--too cockdrunk to say anything as you let him be.

Let him give you a creamy creampie on your first sex.

He collapsed over your body, face against the crook of your neck as you felt his hot breathe against your skin. You squirmed as you felt his hot cum leaking out of your tight entrance--dripping down to your legs and to the covers of the bed.

Caleb looks over you as he caress your cheek, thumb brushing your eye as you closed your eyes--melting through his warmth while you softly sigh.

But oh...he's not done yet.

"Let's....hit it from the back. Want to see your ass clap, pretty girl.."

Don't worry, you'd get used to it. After all, that's what friends do.

This isn't proofread, sorry if there are mistakes T_T

masterlist

[orion-is-dreaming-about-frogs]

Nothing against OP, but I've seen this phenomenon so many times where people will put actual canon gay relationships in their "non-canon queerbaiting gays" list and it's kind of offensive.

The most egregious offense: Yuri on Ice (this is in the original tags)

Yuri on Ice is a romance anime. Full stop. It was a sensation when it released for having a canon queer relationship explicitly shown on screen. The characters get engaged on screen. Yuri on Ice isn't even subtext, it is the entire plot of the story that Victor falls in love with Yuri. (OP doesn't have an age listed so maybe they're too young to remember how big YOI was)

Second offense (less offensive than YOI though): Hannigram.

Hannibal and Will Graham are canonically romantically interested in each other. Will asks, on screen, "Is Hannibal in love with me?" to which Bedelia replies "Yes" and then asks if Will reciprocates. He doesn't answer and the scene cuts, implying that he is conflicted, but that the answer is likely "yes."

Aside from that, there is plenty of subtext to choose from. Hannibal making a heart out of a dead guy to send to Will, their talks about love, the fact that they had a daughter together for a bit. It's not very subtle.

Next offense: Good Omens

Many people picked up from day one that Crowley and Aziraphale had romantic undertones to their story. I admit I have not seen season 2 yet, but I do know they kiss, I know it's tragic, and I know that Aziraphale's wiki says this:

They have an on screen kiss. I don't understand what more people could possibly want to make a queer relationship "canon." Do they need to turn to the camera and say it?

The point of this post is just to say: please engage with the media you consume instead of writing it off as "non-canon queerbaiting" immediately. I keep seeing people, not just OP, putting real queer media into the same category as something like Sherlock, and it pains me. The people who worked on these shows worked so hard to bring you representation and a real queer relationship. It's not cool to erase their efforts. Before you make a post like this, anyone out there reading this, at least check the wiki.

I have my ✨️ spark ✨️ back (hyperfixated on a new gay non-canon relationship)

[little-jana]

"Fractured Edges"

Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader

Genre: angst

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: raised voices, emotional distress, fighting, case-talk, self-doubt, unresolved conflict, no comfort, mentions of Maeve

Summary: Spencer’s anger and fear explode after you put yourself in danger without telling him.

You had never seen Spencer Reid this angry before.

Not when cases went sideways. Not when he was on the receiving end of ridicule. Not even when his own life was at risk.

But now? Now, as he stood in front of you, his hands clenched into fists, his chest rising and falling in sharp, uneven breaths—you realized there was an entirely different side of Spencer you had never seen before. One that wasn’t built from logic and facts, but from raw, unfiltered emotion.

And it terrified you.

"You lied to me," he snapped, his voice like glass breaking against concrete.

Your stomach twisted. "Spencer, I didn’t—"

"Don't." He shook his head, his jaw tight, his entire body rigid with barely restrained fury. "Don't insult me by pretending like it wasn’t a lie."

You swallowed hard, the weight of the situation settling deep in your chest. "I didn't tell you because I knew how you'd react."

His laugh was hollow, bitter. "Oh, so you knew I’d be upset? That makes it better?" He took a step forward, his eyes burning into yours. "What else have you kept from me?"

The question hit you harder than it should have.

"It wasn’t about you, Spencer," you said, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. "I made a choice, and I stand by it."

"A choice?" His voice wavered, disbelief coloring every syllable. "You put yourself in danger, you took risks that could’ve—" He cut himself off, running a shaking hand through his hair.

You knew he was struggling to keep his composure. To hold back the fear that had transformed into anger.

And somehow, that hurt more than the words themselves.

"I did what I had to do," you said softly, but the words felt weak.

Spencer let out a sharp exhale, pacing now, hands gripping his hair in frustration. "God, you sound just like—" He stopped himself.

Your stomach dropped. "Like who?"

He didn’t answer. But he didn’t have to.

Maeve.

The name sat between you like an open wound, fresh and bleeding.

You sucked in a breath. "Spencer..."

"Don’t," he said again, but this time it wasn’t sharp—it was broken.

You wanted to reach for him, to tell him that this wasn’t the same, that he wasn’t losing you, that you weren’t her.

But the look in his eyes told you it didn’t matter.

He felt like he was losing you. And maybe, in a way, he already had.

“Tell me why you did it.”

The demand was quiet, but it didn’t lack force. Spencer had stopped pacing, his gaze pinning you to the spot.

You hesitated. He deserved an answer. You owed him that much.

But how could you explain it to him?

How could you put into words the way your stomach had twisted when you realized the danger—how it wasn’t a reckless decision but a necessary one? How could you explain that if you hadn’t done what you did, people would have died?

That he could have died?

You forced yourself to meet his gaze. “Because it was the only option.”

“That’s bullshit,” Spencer snapped. His voice was sharper now, cutting through the tension like a blade. “There are always options. You just didn’t trust me enough to find another one.”

Your throat tightened. “That’s not true—”

“Isn’t it?” He let out a bitter laugh, his eyes dark with something you couldn’t name. “You didn’t tell me. You didn’t talk to me. You just—just decided without even thinking about what it would mean for the rest of us.”

For me.

The words weren’t spoken, but you heard them anyway.

You took a step forward. “Spencer, I wasn’t trying to shut you out.”

“But you did.” His voice wavered. “You did, and now you’re standing here, acting like I’m the one being unreasonable for being angry about it.”

You flinched. “I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.”

“No?” His arms crossed tightly over his chest, his entire posture defensive, bracing. “Then why do you keep acting like this is something we can just move past?

Because you had to.

Because if you didn’t, if you stayed in this place of hurt and anger, you weren’t sure you’d ever come back from it.

But looking at Spencer now, at the way his hands were shaking, at the way his breath hitched when he tried to speak—you realized that maybe he wasn’t sure if he could come back from this either.

“I was scared,” you admitted. The words felt foreign, raw. “I knew what I was doing was dangerous, but it wasn’t about shutting you out, Spencer. It wasn’t about you.”

His jaw clenched. “That’s the problem, though, isn’t it?”

You frowned. “What?”

His voice was quieter now, but the anger hadn’t faded—it had only settled, simmering beneath the surface.

“I wasn’t part of the equation,” he said. “You didn’t think about what this would do to me. To the team. You just decided that you’d handle it alone.”

The words stung.

You wanted to argue. To tell him that he was wrong, that you had thought about him—about all of them.

But had you?

Had you really stopped, for even a second, to think about what it would feel like for them to watch you put yourself in danger without so much as a word of warning?

Your silence must have given you away because Spencer exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “That’s what I thought.”

“Spence, I—”

“You keep saying it wasn’t about me.” His voice cracked, and that was what finally shattered you. “But don’t you get it? It is about me. About all of us. About what happens when we lose someone else because they thought they could do it alone.”

He didn’t have to say her name.

The ghost of Maeve lingered between you, unspoken but deeply felt.

And now, you had wedged yourself into the same space—another person he cared about, another person who made a choice without him, another person who could have been taken away just as easily.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, and suddenly, it wasn’t anger in his eyes anymore. It was fear.

A deep, bone-deep kind of fear that made your chest ache.

You took a shaky breath. “You won’t.”

His lips pressed together in a thin line. “How can you be so sure?”

Because you weren’t.

And neither was he.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke.

The silence stretched between you, heavy and fragile, like a thread pulled too tight.

Finally, Spencer inhaled sharply and took a step back. It was small, barely noticeable, but it felt like a chasm opening between you.

“I need time,” he said.

Your heart clenched. “Spencer—”

“I need time,” he repeated, and this time, his voice was steady. Firm.

Final.

And then he turned, walking away before you could stop him.

You didn’t chase after him.

You didn’t call out his name.

Because for the first time since you had known him, you weren’t sure if he wanted to be caught.

And that?

That hurt more than anything else.

[bytemee]

WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS (WAIT FOR YOUR LOVE) — YU JIMIN.

"just wanna let this story die, and i'll be alright."

synopsis. what was once love now feels like a wreck, and nothing will ever be the same between them.

pairing. mean!sorority!karina x loser!gp!reader

warning(s). angst, cheating (not really bc they're not dating), mentions of drinking, karina is mean :(, just sad no happy ending

words. 1.3k

authors note. hi guys happy valentines day masterlist soon ok

part one. part two. part three. headcannons. request. navigation. main masterlist.

family emergencies don't wait for anyone.

you barely have time to throw things into a suitcase before you're running out the door, heart pounding with worry and adrenaline. the flight feels like it drags on forever, leaving you with too much time to imagine the worst possible outcomes.

every missed call and text from karina stings, but you can't bring yourself to respond. you're already juggling too much.

karina doesn't hear from you for three days.

she finds out you're gone when she shows up at your dorm unannounced, expecting you to be there like always—because you're always there. like the obedient little puppy she trained you to be. but the room is empty, the bed half-made, and your phone is going straight to voicemail every time she calls.

at first, she thinks you're just ignoring her. a part of her almost admires the audacity. but then she checks your drawers and sees the clothes missing, the toothbrush gone, the little signs that you didn't just leave for the night—you left. and you didn't tell her.

it hits her like a punch to the gut, knocking the breath right out of her.

then rage coils in her stomach like a snake, tightening with every unanswered text.

where the fuck are you?

don't make me find you.

you think you can just disappear on me?

by the time the third day rolls around, she's furious. humiliated.

people keep asking where you are, and she doesn't have an answer. you made her look stupid. weak. you left without a word and expected her to just sit and wait? to not do anything?

like hell. fuck you.

so she goes out. parties harder than she has in months. lets her sorority sisters pour her drink after drink until the room spins and everything feels numb, because you made her feel something, and she doesn't want to anymore. she doesn't want to feel anything ever again.

then there's a girl.

not you, but someone close enough in the dark. someone who doesn't hesitate to put her hands where they don't belong, someone who doesn't make her wait, doesn't make her question if she's wanted. karina lets it happen. lets the girl kiss her, lets hands wander, lets herself pretend—just for a second—that you don't exist. that this is all there is. that she's still in control.

when you come back two weeks later, she's ice-cold.

at first, you think she's mad that you left without telling her properly, that she's just giving you a hard time. but when she won't even look at you, when she brushes past you in the hallway like you're nothing, the dread settles in your stomach like a stone.

then the videos start spreading around campus. one of her with a girl. her hands on the other girl's skin. her tongue in the other girl's mouth. the two of them drunk, laughing, kissing.

you can't stop watching them.

the videos aren't anything explicit, but they're damning.

you can't believe she would do this to you, after everything you've done for her, everything you've given her.

it hurts.

you want to scream at her. you want to ask her why—why she did it, why she pushed you away, why she made you feel like you were nothing. you want to know if she felt anything, if she even cared about you at all. but you don't. instead, you let the anger simmer beneath your skin, burning through your veins like wildfire.

you're done. you're so fucking done.

the next time you're face to face is completely coincidental. she's on her way back to her room from a party, drunk off her ass and barely able to walk in a straight line. you went to her sorority house to get some things of yours from her room, as winter promised you karina wouldn't be there.

but of course, she is.

karina doesn't notice you at first, too busy trying to steady herself against the wall. her makeup is smudged, her hair a mess, and her steps uncoordinated as she tries to focus on getting back to her room. but then she stumbles, catching her balance just in time to look up—and when her eyes meet yours, everything in the air freezes.

for a moment, neither of you move. you can smell the alcohol on her breath and see the haze of drunkenness in her eyes. she looks like shit. then, as if snapping out of a trance, you take a step forward—only for her to flinch back, her body pressing against the wall.

her reaction stops you dead in your tracks.

"stay away from me."

you stop in your tracks, throat tightening. "i just want my stuff. that's it. then i'm gone."

her eyes are glassy. she looks like she might cry. "i don't have them."

your hands clenched into fists. "yes, you do. my jacket and a book. you have them."

she shakes her head. "i threw them out."

"why would you do that?"

she exhales shakily, eyes darting away. "because you left." her voice is barely a whisper, her words slurred and uneven. "because you didn't even tell me. you just disappeared."

you scoff, shaking your head. "are you serious? i had an emergency, karina. my family needed me."

her jaw tightens, something unreadable flashing through her expression. "and i didn't?"

you blink. "that's not fair."

karina lets out a hollow laugh, bitter and sharp. "neither is finding out you were gone by walking into your empty fucking room."

you don't know what to say to that. because she's right. you should've told her. you should've sent something, anything. but you didn't, and now you're stuck, the two of you, standing in the middle of the hallway with no idea where to go from here. but that doesn't change what she did.

your voice is quieter when you finally speak. "you didn't have to—" you gesture vaguely, unable to say it. "—do what you did."

her gaze drops, shoulders tensing. her voice is low. "i don't know what you're talking about."

you let out a frustrated sigh, stepping closer. "you know exactly what i'm talking about. those fucking videos. everyone saw them."

she doesn't move, her breath hitching in her throat. "i didn't do anything."

your hands curl into fists, anger rising in your chest. "don't lie to me, karina. i know it was you. why would you do that? were you that desperate to...i don't know? try and get back at me?"

karina's eyes are glassy, but whatever vulnerability was there a moment ago hardens into steel. she straightens up against the wall, brushing at her smudged makeup. when she finally speaks, her voice is cold.

"you really think you were more than just my little pup?"

the words hit like a punch to the gut, taking your breath away. karina stares you down, chin tilted up defiantly, daring you to argue, to fight back. but you can't. because no matter how angry, how betrayed, how humiliated you are, you still care about her.

"you were convenient, that's all. always there when i needed you. following me around like a pathetic stray, waiting for scraps of affection. and you lapped it up, didn't you?"

"karina, stop," you whisper.

she doesn't stop. she steps closer, her words venomous. "i needed someone to depend on, and you were just there. do you think i would've chosen you otherwise?"

your throat tightens. every syllable feels like another dagger to the chest.

"when you left, i realized how easy it was to replace you. how easy it would be for me to find someone else. and i did." she smiles, sharp and cruel. "do you want to know her name? or do you prefer not knowing?"

tears well up in your eyes despite everything, hot and burning. you blink rapidly, but you can't stop them from falling. 

"i gave you everything," you say, your voice barely holding steady. "i was there for you every second you needed me."

"and that's all you were good for," she snaps. "you should've known your place. a good little pup doesn't run off without permission." 

then, she pushes past you, her shoulder bumping yours as she stumbles toward her room. "go home, y/n," she mutters, voice breaking just slightly. "there's nothing left for you here."

and just like that, she's gone.

you're left standing alone in the hallway, heart aching, tears streaming down your cheeks.

taglist - @brocoliisscared @spidrgamer @kimminjiissosjdirbidnsjje

[mochroialainn]

Warnings for infertility, sub!johnny, dom!simon, oral sex, PIV sex, breeding, pregnancy mention 18+ MDNI

Thinking about trying for a baby with Simon but having issues convcieving so you both go to the doctors and get test done and find out Simon has an incredibly low sperm count and while its not impossible for you to get pregnant with Simons babe, it would be incredibly difficult. So you weigh up your options, talking about adopting and IVF, and while your both open to adopting you want to experience pregnancy but neither of you really want a random unknown donor who could have god knows kind of genetic and herititary disorders. You decide you want someone you know, someone you trust, eventually settling on Johnny. Hes Simons best friend after all and you both trust him immensely. When you go to ask him about he, hes happy to say yes all he has to do is jerk off into a jar and the doctors do all the rest. But then you inform him that no, you don't want to do it through doctors and stuff, you want him to fuck you and knock you up. Its less invasive that way, less stress on your body where you would be poked and proded and filled with hormones for egg extraction and stuff, and definitely far less expensive. He blushes a bright tomato red when you tell him this, stammering around an answer because he has always wanted to fuck you but you're Ghosts girl and he wouldn't do that to him and know hes been presented the perfect opportunity to do it. It stammers out a yes, not meeting Simons eyes, instead staring at your radiant smile.

Very soon after this, Johnny has you naked on his bed, legs spread as his head is buried between your thighs while Simon guides him with his hand and words, after all Simons 'gotta teach him how to fuck his girl right'. Simons fisting his cock as he watched you come undone under Johnnys tongue, eyes glazed over and switching between your look of pure pleasure and the way Johnnys laps at your clit and hole like a man starved and you were his first source of nourishment. After you've came twice from Johnnys tongue and fingers, Simon grips his hair by the roots and pulls his head up and Johnnys tongue lols out of his mouth and he pants like a dog, your cum soaking his chin and stubble and Simon has to stop himself from leaning down and licking the it and maybe even kissing Johnny to taste you on his lips (he decided in that moment, he would do that another time because there was going to be another time) and talks Johnny through fucking you. What angles you like, what pace to go at, how rough he can get with you and how you like for him to push down on your stomach when hes deep inside you. Then he sits himself on the chair facing the bed, hand wrapped tightly around his cock as he watches Johnny fuck you, matching Johnnys pace and barking out orders like they were on the field. The three of you cum at the same, Johnny pressed right against your cervix to ensure he gest his cum as deep inside you as possible (to help maximise your chance of getting pregnant of course and not for any other reason) and the moans you let out are harmonious and beautiful. Just 3 people reaching the same state of ecstaty.

And thats just the first time you fuck, after all it doesn't always work on the first try and maybe you'll continue on even after your pregnant.

[theotherchaospixel]

Her voice boomed, echoed, reverberated across time.

Truth be told, it was really boring. Infinity is just one of those things humans don't understand right. Before I did anything, there was nothing. Nothing, nothing, & more nothing. An infinite nothing. A lot of it. I'm sure you've written before.

Yeah? So what if I have? I could feel Her invisible hand pointing my head down, toward the rock at my feet. A pebble, really, and that was an overstatement.

I'm sure you're aware of the pit in your stomach that grows as you stare at an empty page. Imagine that feeling, multiplied by 6.

I stifled a laugh. Why 6? I could feel Her roll their eyes, if She had eyes, if there were eyes to speak of anywhere, and after a moment, the rock looked at me. With the eyes it didn't have.

It took 6 days before I even started thinking about doing anything, obviously! On the 7th, just before I resolved to spend the next week making life, time, space, the void, stars, nebulae, galaxies, & of course, Saturn, I looked at my clock & panicked, realizing how close to the date I was.

I couldn't quite make sense of what She was telling me. Days? Clock? Date? I thought time didn't exist before that week.

It didn't.

That was where Her thought ended. Silence fell across the plane, across the gaping canyon before me, after me, around me. Minutes passed, centuries passed, empires fell to dust; the rock at my feet wore away into nothing then reconstituted itself. It had been about 5 seconds.

Confusing, I know. That's how the art of creation tends to be. It gets hard to know where you end & the art begins.

None of this really answered my question. What was the nothing like? I could feel the inferno in Her heart, the tsunamis in Her eyes, the earthquakes in Her feet, the tornados in Her hands, as she fidgeted. I'm getting on Her nerves. Not great. I know She's my friend, but making a friend mad was always the last thing I wanted.

The first 6 days were boring, the 7th was stressful, what you want from me, Larry?!?

What was it like though?!? Were you hungry? Did you do it because you wanted to, or because you had to? Her voice echoed again. It was my voice. The rock nudged my feet a bit.

Why do you do anything? Because you have to, or because you want to, or because you need to?

The rock looked up at me again. It wasn't mine before, but somehow, it was now. It was always Hers, but there was something else there now, something ineffable. A love, almost. She sighed. The clouds parted & danced.

On the first day, before time began, there was nothing. It was dark. Second day, same as the first. You get the idea. A whole lot of nothing, but not like when you look up into the night sky and see the spaces between stars nothing; more like when you go to sleep and dream sweet nothings, that kind of nothing. It was like that all seven days, really.

I didn't understand. Things happened in dreams, after all; they were far from nothing. And reading my mind like a book, She continued.

You know how, when you stare at a blank page for long enough, you can see small designs, patterns in the pulp that made it? How if you stare at the floor for long enough, you can see pictures, stories that never happened? How when you look up at the clouds, you see things within them, even though you know that they're just random formations of dust & water vapor? Imagine the page, the patterns, the clouds required in order to see everything that ever was, ever is, & ever will be. Imagine the detail & size of the floor required in order to see all that ever might be. Now, take a step back. It's a blank canvas again. Focus on any part, and you could see everything. People come & go. Empires rise & fall. Seasons change. Time goes on. Step back again, and it's still a blank canvas. Infinite possibility, if you can only bring yourself to paint. Once I had the canvas, it took me several days just gather up the gall to do anything with it, and a whole other day to figure out what. An infinity of possibility, a true, endless ocean of choices.

And this is what you came up with?

Yeah. Pretty cool, right?

I wasn't impressed. And as if She knew it, Her deft, invisible hand pushed my head down to the rock once more.

Look at this pebble. Not impressive, right? Hardly bigger than an eraser. But it's been around the world three separate times. And inside it once. I mean, if you count all of it as one thing, and I know you do. A bit of sand off the coast of what you know now as California, 40 billion years ago, drifted off to sea. Decades later, it washed up on the shore of what is currently Japan. It sat there for a while, as more bits of sand slowly built on top of it. Just a couple million years. Then slowly, over several million more years, the winds carried it across the continent, inch by inch, molecule by molecule. It ended up inside a volcano for a few millennia. And now it's here. Really, it's basically a whole different rock than it started, but it never changed in big swathes. So, that's neat. Billions of years, all to get here, to be in the same room as you & me.

But what was Her point?

My point is that I really can't explain to you what it was like before I made everything. I could swarm you with half a trillion analogies & metaphors & anecdotes & stories, but I'll never be able to explain it to you in full. But if you've written - & I know you have, Larry, you scoundrel, writing things like that - but if you've written, I think you get it. If you've painted, or knit, or drawn, or coded, or sewn, or sung, or played or danced or thrashed or cooked, you get it. Before there is anything, there is love & a dream, and you'd be amazed how far that can take you.

.

.

.

.

.

So it was kinda boring?

Yeah it was kinda boring.

"Hey god?" "Yes, Larry?" "You existed before the universe, right? And supposedly always existed?" "Yes, that's true." "What was infinity like, before you made the universe?" "Ah. Not one human has asked me that before. Well, I guess it's time I tell someone about before the first 7 days."

[coquettebratzdoll]

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

WE ARE NOT YOUR GODS

Hi dolls! I'm back after a long, long hiatus (Bratz is back). Honestly, getting off Tumblr for a while and just taking time for myself and my life was the best thing I could've done for myself. I feel so much more refreshed and rejuvenated. My blog turned 1 year old a few days ago (yay!) so consider this my comeback post as well as a 1 year anniversary post.

Enough yapping, it's time to get to the point. We are not your Gods; people who shifted/entered the void state are not your Gods; thinkers such as Neville Goddard and Edward Art are not your Gods; people who run shiftblrs and loablrs are not your Gods; methods, techniques, meditations, and whatever else are not your Gods.

It's really as simple as that. Some of y'all really don't understand that we are just people: we don't have all the answers.

"But Athena, can't you just-"

No, I can't tell you why you haven't shifted after years of trying; I'm still figuring things out myself.

No, I can't manifest for you in the void state; it'll only be true in my reality and not yours.

No, I can't hand you all the answers on a silver platter; I am simply giving you my knowledge, experience, and vibes so you can take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

I get it, I used to be in the same boat. All these things felt so elusive and I mythologised them in my mind. After all, those bloggers were seemingly the "proof" I needed to know that everything I believe in and work towards is actually achievable. However, this mindset can quickly devolve if you aren't careful.

You see, these thoughts can create a reliance on external sources of validation. You can't really believe that shifting/manifesting/the void state is real or possible without others proving it to you. Soon enough, anecdotes aren't enough. You'll want more, really, something that you can grasp onto and give you hope that it's really true. This can lead you to putting other things onto a pedestal, creating a dependence on outside factors for everything: validation, motivation, you name it.

Let's go back to the basics (I wanna, wanna, wanna take you to the basics):

There are the 3D and 4D realities.

The 3D is what you perceive on a daily basis: it is the reason why you can "physically" read and interact with this post, along with other daily activities. However, it is not real. The 3D is a reflection of your dominant assumptions, beliefs, and state.

The 4D is the only real reality. It is what we would call our "imagination". Everything and nothing is simultaneously real in the 4D. It is the only genuine reality.

By putting all your reliance onto outside factors, you are giving your power away as well. It is also leaving you vulnerable to toxic mentalities and negative thinking because you are cementing the belief that you aren't enough. This is harmful not only to your journey, but also your mental and physical health as well. (Note: the opposite of always being happy can also be harmful as well. The best advice would be to allow your emotions to come as they do and to not suppress or exaggerate them. Shadow work and meditation are also things to look into if you struggle with either one).

Please, remember that we are not the answer, we do not hold the key, and we do not hold the power: you do. At the end of the day, your journey is a solo one and the things you'll discover about yourself are yours to find.

[daisy-01-blog]

Happy Valentine, don't call me again (Gojo x reader)

A/N: Angst. Just pure angst, no comfort whatsoever. 

It’s Valentine’s day, and it’s also winter at the same time. You have a toothache and Gojo would usually scold you for eating too many sweets. 

Or maybe not. You guys talked everyday, but it has gotten so cold. 

Gojo is your boyfriend of a year, you guys met because your friend introduced him to you. 

There’s nothing wrong about the relationship, except for the fact that you guys are tired of this. 

Your tooth stings but maybe your heart stings even more, it’s cold out here. 

You stare at the chocolates on the store-the couple chattering and being lovey-dovey. 

You feel sick. 

You have talked to Gojo about this last month, asking to break up with him. Because it’s going nowhere. And he refuses, saying you’re just tired and we’ll talk later about this. 

But there isn’t any talk about it at all. And at night he embraces you and you let him. 

At times he would cry, another time it’s you crying. 

You two are scared, it has been nice to stay with each other and there’s an unhealthy bound you two feel. You guys are attached to each other. 

But it’s leading to nothing. A year and you feel empty, and you know he felt that way too. 

So you asked him to meet today, on Valentine’s day. 

Your tooth aches, and your heart too. 

“Let’s break up,” you said. The cafe you chose is cozy and warm, there’s not many people there. But your heart feels cold. 

“..why?” he asked even though he already knows the answer. 

“We can’t do this” you pause, your tears fell down “anymore” 

He pretends he didn’t see you sob, pretending he didn’t want to wipe your tears. Because his heart is torn to pieces. 

It’s the right thing to do, he realizes. But what if he wants to stay?

“You’re sobbing” he mutters, his voice is hoarse. 

You calmed down, eyes red and he had to hold himself to not hug you. 

You want to stay, you fucking did. But there’s nothing left to say. 

“I-” 

“Don’t” you sob “please don’t say it” 

“I imagined us having kids” he mutters and you sobbed. The waitress there stared in concern and you wiped your tears. 

Because you did too, you imagine having kids with him. One that looks like you and one that looks like him. 

“...We should break up,” you looked down. 

“Okay” he said, and you feel your heart breaking. 

You nodded “I have to go” You said. 

“Will you text me?” he asked. 

“Sure” you said hoarsely, and he knows it’s a lie. 

“Happy Valentine” he said “if we cross path again” he said “I hope we’ll be ready this time” 

You hoped so too, but you cannot say anything. 

So you just left him. 

It’s winter, and you feel like dying.

Tag: @rinkomei

[sirfrogsworth]

I think this question is the most asked one I see from people starting their photography journey.

They upgrade from their smartphone and get a nicer camera and lens and then wonder why their photos don't look much different.

A fancy camera opens up more possibilities and gives you great control. Lenses are creative tools that allow myriad perspectives. But a paintbrush does not paint a picture for you.

The answer to the question is light and effort.

The better the light, the less effort required. The worse the light, the more effort required. But you always need both to get a good photo. And you need a lot of both to get a spectacular photo.

Imagine this photo taken in the same overcast light as the waterfall above.

That would be the world's most boring parking lot photo.

But because the light was so beautiful I was able to pull out my smartphone and get a great shot. No fancy camera required. But I knew my phone was limited so I took three photos for a panorama. And I captured everything in RAW format to make sure I didn't lose any dynamic range or color information. This required a lot of extra post processing to combine everything and edit the colors close to what my eyeballs saw.

The light made things much easier. I just had to point the camera in the direction of the sunset. But effort was still part of the equation.

The best light is at...

Sunrise.

Sunset.

Or at night (tripod required).

Or... bring your own light.

I had a sunset but my friend was in the dark so I employed my gigantic 7 foot umbrella.

Good photographers often plan their shots in advance. They will scout locations (Google Maps is your friend), take test shots to find the best composition, and then wait until the light is magical to get their shot. There are some landscapists who return to a spot continuously until conditions are perfect. I've heard of some who spend a year or more to get the photo they desire.

I knew I was going to be near the Arch. I used Google Maps to figure out a cool vantage point. I hauled my tripod a few blocks to that spot. And then my heart sank a little...

They turned the lights off.

The lights that illuminate the Arch confuse migrating geese in September. I still took the photo. And it's okay. But I didn't have the light I wanted. So I'll have to go back another time when geese aren't screwing everything up.

I'll have to put in that effort.

I understand you cannot always plan ahead. If photographers need to get a good shot spontaneously in bad light, they have to go above and beyond to elevate the photo.

They might have to find an interesting perspective.

Perhaps use an atypical lens.

Long exposure.

Or they can incorporate an interesting subject. A model. An old barn. Fungus.

Think about foreground, midground, and background. If you have a dull background, increase interest in the foreground or midground. Or both.

Again, the worse the light is, the more effort you have to put in to compensate. You might find yourself lying on the ground or dangling over a cliff.

Another option is to bring your own light. Overcast days can actually look quite compelling if you light a subject and then underexpose the background. This can bring out a lot of details in the clouds that would otherwise get lost in a natural light exposure.

(not my photo, source unknown)

Sometimes the prettiest days make the most boring photos. Sunlight at high noon is very hard to work with photographically. Especially if you have people in the photo. Hard shadows tend to not be flattering.

Black and white can sometimes make harsh sunlight look cool.

Or you can add a fold-up diffuser to help soften things.

All of this is to say... you cannot take a fancy camera to a waterfall on an overcast day and expect it to do all of the work. You are just going to end up with a flat looking snapshot. You have to put thought into your photos. You need a bag of tricks you can pull from at any moment. And you have to be willing to go the extra mile if you don't have the light you want.

For a waterfall at sunset, you can just put it dead center and call it a day.

(photographer unknown)

But if you have an overcast day with boring light, you're gonna need to effort your ass off.

This photographer put the camera near the ground, found a great composition, included cool foreground/midground elements, and used long exposure to make the water silky.

(Stephen Spragg)

There is also the option to combine maximum light with maximum effort.

This is by famed photographer, Joe McNally. He shot at night. There is a hidden flash off to the right of the worker. He used a wide lens to get a unique perspective. He used long exposure to get light trails from the cars below. Oh, and he is hanging off the side of a building.

Light and effort. Light and effort. Light and effort.

And, as always, the third secret ingredient is... education.

Education will help you leverage light and effort more so than any camera or lens. Don't just learn the open chords. Learn those ones where you have to stretch your pinky out super far while barring the low F.

Sorry, I used to play guitar and a metaphor slipped through.

Free photography education...

Tony & Chelsea 7 Hour Course Karl Taylor Free Introduction to Photography

[loveandlegacy]

i love this analysis! if i can add onto it a little bit to answer your question about what the purpose of the parallels is, i would say there's a lot of room for interpretation but my particular reading of it is that viktor and mel ultimately converge not with jayce as the center that cannot hold between them but with ambessa as their centerpoint.

throughout the whole show viktor and mel dance around the question of what is ethically the best way to help people maybe more than any other characters. there are other characters who also believe in helping or who are chasing ideals about how to improve the conditions for zaun specifically, but they are more certain in their undertakings. ekko doesn't waver on whether or not the firelights are doing the right thing, silco is a fervent revolutionary nationalist, sevika selects who to ally with based on her core principles about who would be the best to liberate zaun. ekko and silco particularly are at ideological odds about how cast off piltover's hold over zaun, but the show doesn't present them as counterbalancing points or even as two people who are imbricated with one another because of their beliefs. they represent two mostly unmoving worldviews.

by comparison, mel and viktor are constantly made to face the limits of their ideological positions.

in s1 act i viktor says that scientists seek to improve lives and to make the world a better place. this is kind of true in that it is one way scientists can operate but we also know that there are plenty of scientists who don't operate that way (singed) and we also know that science itself is a political undertaking regardless of how idealistic one may or may not be about it. s1 viktor wanted to make the world a better place, but his work for a long time largely fuels the class interests of the piltovan council and materially further destroys zaun. this isn't his fault for being an idealist. he is disempowered in piltover, he's disabled, he's dying, and even his dying/his attempt to avoid dying highlights a kind of politics about medical science and who gets access to it and who gets to choose what happens to their body and how it is tended to and cared for. were piltover not the extractive force that it is and had it not devastated zaun with chemical waste for years (two things only made possible by deploying technology and science!) and had it not essentially set up an obvious system of ethnic segregation, maybe viktor's condition might not have deteriorated to the point of terminal desperation. maybe sky would still be alive

this is like....at its most obvious when viktor's in his hex cocoon coma (which like in real world terms would be an actual violation of a DNR request – so again. the scientific power to arbitrate life and death is a political one) while his life's work gets co-opted to create weapons.

science is a political undertaking no matter which way you look at it

mel on the other hand believes and behaves as if the world is a political chess game that she can win if she maneuvers herself well enough and that politics can always function as the high road and higher power to all other inter/national machinations. her flashback makes this pretty clear when she repeats what kino told her, that war is a failure of (and therefore a lesser form of) statecraft. ambessa scoffs at this and at the idea of 'talking [your] way out of anything' and then later mel has to confront (again and again) that political games cannot account for everything and that she is not omniscient and even her savvy and skill can be upended by unexpected acts of guerrilla warfare. jinx bombs the council, ambessa engineers conflict, the black rose abducts elora and mel herself.

everything in the world is politics yes, but not everyone is playing the same political game and mel is limited in her ability to account for this not because she's stupid or incapable but because of her position in the world. she understands violence only as a tool used by imperialists to oppress their subjects. she has never been on the side of the power divide where she can't bargain with or outmaneuver or manipulate her opponents because the power they hold over her is immeasurable – until of course she is in that exact position. the black rose abducts and tortures her and kills elora and against her will awakens a power in her that only exists because of forces acting on her life long before she was even born.

it's actually kind of wild. in the span of like 1.5 episodes mel goes from being one of the most powerful people in piltover to a woman in a position very similar to viktor's – at the mercy of forces that shaped her life and set it in motion without her ever getting the chance to decide what she wanted for herself. however flawed her methods may or may not be, mel has worked her whole adult life to create a world where war doesn't happen and in one single revelation she learns that not only were her efforts small in the grand scheme of things but also that she herself is the very antithesis of what she wants to see in the world: a weapon.

and that's where ambessa matters! more than any other character in the story, ambessa is the embodiment of military power. national militaries are obviously an arm of power used towards political ends, and military might is often advanced by science – and in arcane's case, also magic, which is presented as a kind of science in the forms of hextech and shimmer. ambessa repeatedly evinces that she's distrustful of mages, but we also learn that she seeks to control magic to her own (presumably violent) ends. mel is her first attempt; she's born with the gift of the arcane, but ambessa correctly identifies she's not super into warfare and eventually sends her away

several years later ambessa arrives in piltover in search of magic again in the form of hextech, but what she eventually ends up getting is another mage.

in short, mel is the weapon ambessa wanted, but viktor is the weapon she got

and in this way, viktor and mel's trajectories finally intersect. mel is forced to reframe her understanding of political power and its uses and limits (and i presume this will carry through to her time in noxus), and she now has to live with the knowledge that she is (as her own voice lines put it) 'tainted by the arcane' in ways she never wanted and forced to use it to kill her own mother. viktor, meanwhile, has to come to grips at the end of the show with the fact that he gave up his ideals about science not being used violently and became the scientific weapon he said he never wanted to create in order to make the world (his idea) of a better place

A lot of people point out the visual parallels between Mel and Viktor but not enough people talk about the thematic parallels between them (also excuse the shitty screenshots).

they both grew up with mentors who ended up doing something they couldn't understand (Viktor believing death is better than sacrificing humanity, Mel believing war is bad)

and they remain haunted by that memory as an adult

they later left that mentor, Viktor on his own decision, Mel got cast out. Then they reconnected with that mentor when they are struggling with the same dilemma but their position has shifted. Again Viktor does this on his own accord and Ambessa comes to Mel

After this encounter though they realise their error and shift back to their original position

They stick to the same morals after Jinx's bomb hits but the decision was taken from them, Jayce already sacrificed Viktor's humanity, the council already decided on war

Then for the rest of season two we see them attempt to keep up their original stance but their hand is forced. (It is also interesting that Viktor is already taking away their humanity he just doesn't realize it yet, probably because he is so far from his own humanity he has forgotten what that even means)

They also both have parallels to the one they once defended as a kid

But I'm still having trouble finding what the purpose of all these parallels are. Viktor and Mel aren't very close in the narrative and they're both close to Jayce but I don't feel we see these parallels used in their relationship to him. I think the end point is that it's not Viktor's fault he became a villian in the end. Both him and Mel fought for what they thought was right and they both lost, it was only because of how others used Viktor that he was the reason so many people almost died.

[lyn31]

Zayne Immediate Disorder (Extended)

Summary:

After the Prison Warden, Zayne, of Linkon City help you get away from the prison, yes indeed, what a mess. You thought he'll do the same not long after you get out, oh but how wrong you are... He has different plans in mind.

Ao3 link

Extra/Part 2

CW: Drug use (Frenzy Enhancer), Light dom/sub.

Notes:

Disclaimer: The first half on this fics are mainly from Zayne's new card, Immediate Disorder, which another reason why it's so long.... and I also use some of the line here and there to match the "canon" a bit more but the rest are all mine :) So if you don't want to get spoiler, even when it's not all here, better read his story first, but if you don't mind, go ahead and enjoy! And I would like to thank all my friend for helping me with feedback, I appreciate it very much! :D Shout out to @ccelestara You help me a lot girl!

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Your flight is delayed until this evening. Thanks to the delay, you receive a call from your ex-subordinate. It’s about the Warden.

All of Linkon is in an uproar because of it.

The Warden, Zayne, is the SSS-Class Praedator, Galen—the serial killer authorities have been pursuing for years.

As the perpetrator was responsible for multiple deaths, Zayne’s trial will take place with all of Linkon watching. A new era is on the horizon, and his execution will mark its beginning.

Why would a serial killer, whom they couldn’t catch for five years, only be exposed now? Unless… You pause, lost in thought.

You take a sharp breath, suddenly struck by a realization you don’t like. Inhaling deeply, you leave your home, slamming the door behind you with more force than intended. Your pace quickens until you break into a run.

You need to see Zayne one last time. You need to hear the truth from him. You need to know—can he truly end everything without regret?

And then without you realizing it, you arrive.

Though no longer an enforcer, flashing your old badge is enough to get you past the unsuspecting guards. You navigate the prison’s corridors along a path you’ve walked countless times before. You make your way to the second floor.

Zayne has shut himself away in the interrogation room—the very same room where the two of you once said your goodbyes.

You push the door open, and there he is—the familiar figure you haven’t seen in a long time.

Hearing you enter, he turns around. His hazel eyes widen for a brief second before settling back into their usual calm gaze.

“I recall you saying you’d be on a plane this morning.”

Holding back a snort, you say, “So you deliberately waited until this evening to release the news. That way, I wouldn’t find out?”

“Your presence here means my plan has failed.”

“Your plan?” Your throat tightens. Your fists clench so tightly that they start to hurt.

“You never intended to survive this. You’ve been planning to end it all… including yourself.”

Looking at you quietly, he says. “Every TV channel, newspaper, and radio station are announcing it. A new era will arrive with the next dawn. Linkon is finally on the right path. The murders and crimes of the past must be erased.”

Zayne shifts his gaze to the side before looking back at you.

“I thought you, as an enforcer, would understand that criminals must be punished for their past deeds.”

Your chest tightens for a brief moment before you speak, your voice steady but weighed down. “The criminal has been punished. The Praedators and ordinary people get to live in peace. Linkon City will enter a new era. But what about you?”

Without waiting for his answer, you take a step closer.

“Zayne, have you gained anything from this?”

Another step. Your fists clench tighter, your breathing grows unsteady. The faint space between you disappears, and your shadow bleeds into his.

“Don’t you want anything in this life? Stop talking about Linkon, the virus, and the solution. I want to know about you, Zayne. Have you ever wanted anything for yourself?”

You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

Zayne watches you for a moment. His voice lowers. “Are you here just to ask me that question?”

You take another step. Now, you’re so close you can practically feel his breath on your skin.

“What if I said yes? Would you answer me then?”

Just as you reach for him, he flinches. A groan escapes him, and his brows furrow.

“You should go,” he says breathlessly, avoiding your gaze.

“No, I won’t leave until you answer me. But Zayne… are you?”

You reach out again, this time feeling the heat of his skin before he pulls away.

He’s  about to go into a frenzy.

“I told you, you should go.” Zayne’s breathing grows ragged. His chest rises and falls rapidly, rattling the chains around his clothes.

“No. I refuse.” You turn toward the door and lock it.

Walking back to him, you scan the room. The interrogation tools from your last visit are still here—including the muzzles and chains.

“They say that when a Praedator goes into a frenzy, the desire to have what they truly want overwhelms them.”

Stepping closer, you ask, “Zayne, have you ever gone into a frenzy before?”

“No.”

He starts to take a step back but stops, steadying his breath. He looks at you. “I know how to control myself.”

“You implanted an activator in yourself, didn’t you?”

At this, his brows furrow slightly—his frustration breaking through his usual stoic expression.

“But that doesn’t mean a Praedator like me won’t harm the person standing in front of them.”

“I won’t become a Praedator.”

“You’ll die.”

“You already ‘killed’ me once before.” The corner of your mouth curls up. “You accused me of trying to assassinate the Warden. I never got the chance to see if I actually could.”

As you speak, you grab a chain from the wall.

"Do you always have to restrain yourself?" You wrap the chain around his wrist.

He scoffs. "Is that what you want me to do?"

"No. At least, that's not what I want right now."

Zayne point out with his gaze at the muzzle on the wall. You take the muzzle and carefully secure it around Zayne’s head. He doesn’t resist.

You hesitate for a moment, watching him. He allows you to restrain him without a fight. A strange feeling settles in your chest—confusion, concern. Why is he letting this happen? That’s what you instinctively think, but you know the answer already.

Then without a word, Zayne grabs another chain and hands it to you. His gaze sharpens, and his breathing grows ragged.

Fastening the chain around his wrist, you hear his low, breathless voice. "If you’re trying to break someone’s chains… don’t be afraid of the danger they’ll bring." Even in this situation, you can still hear his teasing tone.

Trailing your finger from his wrist to his chest, you push him back toward the interrogation chair.

"Wasn’t I supposed to die here anyway?" You smirk hearing your own question.

Near the chair, on a small table, something shiny catches your eye, reflecting the faint light that manages to seep into the closed-off interrogation room. You head toward the table and just miss when Zayne tries to grab you. You push him back down before continuing toward the table.

"You should leave while you still can," He warns, his voice low and more breathless than before.

You pick up the syringe filled with orange liquid from the table—the Frenzy Enhancer and you walk back toward the chair. Zayne’s intense gaze follows your every move.

"You’re only going to hurt yourself more by fighting to stay in control, you know."

Slowly, you place a hand on his shoulder. He shudders under your touch as you trace your fingers from the leather strap on his shoulder to the choker around his neck. Then, with a swift motion, you grab his jaw, forcing his head back to expose more of his neck.

He groans, his eyes flicking to the syringe in your hand.

"…Frenzy Enhancer? You’re going to use that on me?" He scoffs, but you can hear the amusement in his voice, laced with something unreadable.

"Yes. The Warden should be well aware of how it affects the Praedators."

The corner of his lips curls up. He doesn’t even bother hiding his amusement now. His gaze dares you, challenges you.

Without hesitation, you sink the needle into his heated skin, injecting the drug. He groans, and his breathing quickens even more than before. His skin burns even hotter beneath your fingers.

As you step back to give him some breathing room, you say, "Stop holding yourself back. You need to confront your true self."

His breathing grows heavier, each inhale pressing harder against the leather strap bound across his chest. The belt creaks under the pressure, groaning, straining to contain something unstoppable.

His muscles flex, his body straining against the restraint. His breath turns into low, guttural sounds, his entire frame trembling with suppressed force.

Then—a sharp snap.

The leather gives way, splitting apart as his chest heaves forward. The torn strap dangles uselessly at his sides, his breath ragged and uneven. His gaze lifts to you—dark, unrestrained, filled with something dangerous.

Involuntarily, you swallow hard. Slowly, you walk to his other side. His eyes follow your every move, scanning you like a predator sizing up his prey. His gaze sweeps over you—sharp, deliberate, assessing every detail. You meet his eyes, and in that moment, you know.

Taking a bold step directly in front of him, you place your hand on his thigh and kneel right in front of him, your fingers tightening just slightly as you quickly spread his legs apart. His breath hitches, a low gasp slipping past his lips, his chest heaving harder.

"Don’t worry…" you say, your voice calm yet full of intent, "I’ll take good care of you."

His eyes darken, his smirk widening, full of danger and amusement.

"You want me to submit…"

Before you can move, you hear the chains rattle; the sound growing louder as his hand shoots out, gripping your waist and pulling you onto his lap. The sudden shift in position takes you by surprise, and you gasp, your breath hitching in your throat. His lips brush against your ear, his voice low and dangerous. "Let me take what I desire first."

The air shifts—sudden, electric. Then his lips crash into yours with fierce urgency, stealing any coherent thought you might’ve had. You freeze for a split second, your heart hammering in your chest as his breath mingles with yours. The heat from his body sears through the thin fabric between you, making you shiver. His fingers dig into your sides, possessive and firm, as he deepens the kiss, pressing you against him with a force that leaves no space between you.

A soft moan escapes you before you can stop it, and it seems to only spur him on. His teeth graze your bottom lip, the sting making your body react before your mind has time to process. The pull of his kiss shifts from desperate to coaxing, urging you to match his intensity. You reach up, your hand slipping into his hair, fingers tangling in the strands, pulling him closer, desperate for more. The urgency inside you flares, a sharp need that only grows as he deepens the kiss. You’re not sure where he ends and you begin—every nerve in your body is alive, and it's all him.

His other hand tangles in your hair, tugging lightly, sending a different bolt of electricity straight down your spine, and you can feel your whole body arch into him, your chest tight with anticipation. Every touch, every pull seems to unlock something inside you, the heat pooling in your stomach, burning, aching for more. You don’t want to stop, don’t want to pull away.

The kiss is messy and consuming, like he’s starved for it, and you feel that hunger mirroring your own. His tongue sweeps past your lips, claiming everything he wants, but it's not just him—you're just as lost, just as hungry for him. Every breath you take is laced with desire, every beat of your heart screaming for more, and yet, you’re caught in a whirlwind of want, unable to think, unable to pull away.

When he pulls back, his lips hover close, and you can see a wildness in his eyes, filled with raw desire. His voice is barely a whisper, but carries an edge that sends a shiver down your spine. "You should’ve known... submission can be dangerous."

Your pulse is still racing, your breath uneven, and your body tingles with the lingering heat of his touch. You place your hand on his bare chest, feeling the rapid rise and fall beneath your palm, matching the frantic beat of your heart. The raw intensity of his gaze makes your insides tighten with anticipation, a strange mix of fear and longing that twists deep inside you. Then, instinctively, your hand slides up his forearm, fingers grazing the firm muscle, needing to ground yourself.

“Where’s your Activator?” you ask, your voice a little breathless. You try to steady yourself, but it betrays the rush of desire coursing through you.

The moment the words leave your mouth, you catch the glimmer of a smirk that tugs at the corner of his lips, a knowing, teasing expression that sends a jolt through your chest. With a ragged breath, he leans in closer, and before you can react, he grabs your wrist, guiding your hand back to his chest, pressing it against him with an urgency that makes your heart race even faster.

“Why don’t you… touch me and find out?” he murmurs, the words carrying an invitation—and a challenge—that makes everything inside you tighten in hunger. The electricity between you crackles yet again as if he knows just how much you’re aching for him, how much you want to feel him under your fingertips.

Without missing a beat, you move your hand, slowly at first, tracing the curve of his collarbone, your fingers grazing his skin as you feel him tense under your touch. The air between you thickens with the tension. You follow the path down his chest, lingering on his abs as a soft groan escapes him, the sound igniting a pulse of heat between your legs. You catch his gaze, locking onto it, and the rawness of his desire fuels the embers of your own. Your pulse races, your body aching to feel more of him, but you hold the moment—enjoying the power of teasing him just as much as he teases you.

He breathes out in frustration, his voice a low rasp. “You’re teasing me… It’s still not enough…”

So you don’t stop. Your hand keeps moving, creeping below his waistband, your fingers brushing ever so lightly against the growing heat beneath his pants. His breath catches, and your lips curl into a soft, teasing smile. As you raise an eyebrow, you sense the tension shift in him, but he doesn’t back down. Instead, he tilts his head slightly, a silent challenge in his eyes, before leaning in, his lips brushing your ear as his breath sends a shiver through you.

You let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes as his kisses trail down your jaw, down your neck—his lips warm against your skin. Every touch, every kiss from him yet again sends that jolts of electricity that you start to familiar with yet still very exhilarating, making you want him even more. And yet, when your hand continues its descent, feeling the evidence of his desire, growing more demanding beneath your touch, you know he feels the same way as you.

A low groan escapes him when his lips move to your earlobe, nipping it just enough to make your body tremble. You almost lose your focus, distracted by the sensation, but your hand keeps moving. Your fingers graze lower, slowly, but with purpose, pressing against him just enough to make him gasp.

His hand grabs your chin, tilting it upward, and his lips hover over yours for a brief, teasing moment before he nibbles your bottom lip. He pulls back slightly, and his gaze darkens with amusement. “What will you do next?”

Oh you know what you'll do next. With a quick, decisive motion, you push him back, watching the way he almost falls against the chair's backrest. The glint in his eyes tells you he enjoys the challenge just as much as you do, and you feel a surge of excitement at the thought of making him wait.

Your hand moves swiftly from his chest to his waist, fingers finding the firmness of him between his legs. The sudden contact makes him shudder, and you smile as his eyes glaze over, fixating on your chest. Before he can lean in, you push him back again, your other hand placed firmly on his chest, eyes locking with his, silently telling him to wait for his turn.

The moment you break eye contact, a rush of heat floods through your body. No matter how hard you try to play it cool, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that you’re perched on his lap. The heat between your legs only grows hotter, and you have to fight the urge to grind against him. You try to regain control—at least to mask your reaction—locking your gaze with his once more. His want is undeniable, simmering in the charged air between you, and the thrill of holding onto even a sliver of control sends a surge of adrenaline through your veins.

You keep your hand on his chest, fingers brushing over his skin, sending small shocks of electricity through him. You don’t break eye contact. Every small movement, every slight press of your hand on his chest makes the tension grow thick and suffocating, but you relish in it—holding him at bay just a little longer. You feel the control shift, your power growing with each moment you keep him waiting.

Focusing back on the task at hand, you press your palm against him, feeling the heat radiating through his clothes. Slowly, you begin to move your hand, applying enough pressure to tease, but not enough to satisfy. His breathing sharpens, chest rising and falling beneath your touch as he tries to keep his composure.

“Do you like that, Zayne?” you whisper, glancing up at him. His response is a ragged exhale, his knuckles turning white as his grip tightens on the armrest.

You keep the slow rhythm, dragging your hand up and down, making him twitch under your touch with every stroke. Each pass, each movement makes him shudder, even so, you hold back, savoring the power of the moment.

You pull your hand back, the sudden absence making Zayne’s gaze snap to you, his eyes burning with need. You feel the tension in the air shift yet again, but you don’t give him the release he craves. Instead, you grab his choker, tugging him closer. His eyes widen slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. For a brief moment, your gazes lock, tension crackling between you like a live wire. His jaw tightens, and his fingers flex as he tilts his head, silently inviting you to continue.

“You want to break it, don’t you?” Zayne’s voice is breathless, a dare in every word. The challenge hangs between you, a crackling tension that sets every nerve in your body alight with excitement.

You push him back with deliberate force, watching as he leans fully into the chair. The satisfaction of making him wait, of holding the control, sends a rush of heat through you. The choker snaps free in your hand, and you stare at it for a beat, your heart pounding as the moment stretches out. Without a word, you toss it aside. The silence between you deepens, thick and charged with raw tension.

“Patience,” you murmur, your voice low and commanding, each syllable deliberate. Your fingers work the muzzle loose, and as it falls away, he just stares at you—breath ragged, eyes wild with hunger. A mix of nerves and excitement coils in your stomach, sharper than you expected. Even though it’s an open muzzle, seeing him without it now sends a thrill through you.

A slow smirk curves your lips. “Much better.”

He exhales a shaky breath, a grin tugging at his lips. “Impressive,” he says, his voice rough with both admiration and something darker.

“But it’s my turn,” he grunts, the words thick with intent. His grip tightens as he surges forward, claiming the moment with a desperate intensity that steals the air from your lungs.

Before you can react, Zayne’s lips are on yours again, urgent, but this kiss is slower, deliberate—a demand as much as a plea. His lips trail down your jaw, your neck, the curve of your collarbone, every touch igniting a new wave of heat inside you. His tongue flicks against your skin, teasing and tasting, before his teeth follow, nipping just hard enough to make you gasp, your body instinctively arching into him as your hips grind against his thigh in reflex, finally. A low grunt rumbles in his chest, his grip tightening on your waist, urging you to do it again. Heat floods through you, a shuddering breath escaping as the friction sends a fresh wave of pleasure coursing through you.

His hand finds your wrists, yanking them behind your back with swift ease, and you gasp at the sudden restraint. The vulnerability of it, the way he controls you without hesitation, sends a sharp thrill racing down your spine. His grip tightens, holding both your wrists effortlessly with one hand, while his other settles firmly on your waist, fingers digging into your skin as he keeps you locked in place.

His eyes lock onto yours, dark and commanding, as he urges your hips to move again, guiding you with slow, deliberate pressure. "Just like that," he breathes, his voice thick with desire. A shiver courses through you, each roll of your hips sending a rush of heat that leaves you breathless, your body tightening in response to his touch.

Zayne’s mouth is relentless, teasing you with soft, lingering kisses just above your exposed skin, his tongue flicking over the fabric of your shirt, tracing slow, deliberate circles. You shudder, your body reacting, but he refuses to give you what you want. His grip on your wrist behind your back remains firm, the restraint heightening every sensation, making your pulse race even faster. Every near-miss, every brush against your skin makes your body ache with want—his refusal only fuels your desire, making you want to push back against him, to make him feel the same urgency you do.

Then, at last, his lips close around your hardened peak, sucking gently at first, then harder. His teeth graze you, sending a sharp pulse of pleasure straight to your core. You cry out softly, your body trembling in his lap, your wrists straining against his grip, the rawness of the moment pushing you closer to the edge.

Your soft cry draws a ragged groan from Zayne, his breath unsteady, his grip tightening as he struggles to maintain control. But it’s slipping—you feel it in the tremble of his hand on your wrist, in the roughness of his kisses, in the ferocity of his desire.

And then, as if he can’t hold back any longer, Zayne snaps. The hand on your waist jerks away, his fingers wrapping around the chain on his wrist with a brutal tug. The metal gives way with a harsh, violent snap, fragments scattering beside you, the sound almost deafening. His hand is back on you instantly, roaming over your waist with an urgent, almost frantic need that sends a shiver through your entire body. Everything shifts. His control is shattered, his restraint gone, and in that instant, all that’s left is the hunger that burns between you.

His gaze burns into you, intense and untamed, his breath uneven as he draws you between his legs. One hand tangles in your hair, yanking you closer, while the other seizes your waist, guiding you down to the floor with a force that leaves no room for resistance. The raw urgency in his movements, the primal need that drives him now, sends a thrill of excitement coursing through you. Even in the moment's chaos, there’s a flicker of control—just enough to ensure you’re steady beneath him, but it’s the kind of control that makes your pulse race, knowing he’s ready to push you past any limits.

His voice drops, low and thick with heat, as his eyes lock onto yours. “Now, there’s only one thing left to do.” His voice is ragged, barely restrained, each word tumbling out like a need he can no longer contain, sending a shiver straight through you. His gaze never wavers, his intensity pressing down on you like a weight, leaving you breathless and craving what comes next.

For a moment, you do nothing but stare back at him, breath catching in your throat as you feel the weight of his gaze. It’s a challenge, a silent command—and you can feel your body respond to it, every nerve alive with anticipation.

You swallow hard, your eyes dropping to his waist. “So that’s where the Activator is…” you murmur, the words are soft but thick with meaning. Zayne follows your gaze, then drags his eyes back up to your face, to your body, his gaze darkening as he notices the hardened peak beneath your shirt.

Without hesitation, he leans down, capturing it with his mouth. His tongue twirls around you, his lips warm and demanding, making you gasp at the sensation. Your body writhes beneath him, your heart pounding in time with the pulse of need that rises in you.

But you don’t forget what you’re about to do. Your pulse quickens as you shift your knee, pressing just above his waist, feeling the twitch of his body against yours. His breath hitches, muscles flexing beneath your touch, and despite the flutter of nerves in your chest, you smile at his reaction, fully aware of the effect you’re having on him. The tension thickens, the unspoken challenge between you both only growing stronger.

You let your foot graze lower, brushing against his arousal in a teasing move that has him groaning, his grip on you tightening just a fraction as he fights to keep control. The moment his eyes snap open, wild and raw, you know it’s only a matter of time before both of you lose yourselves completely in the overwhelming tension between you.

His breath catches, a deep grunt rumbling from his chest, and his eyes flash with an intensity that makes your body ache with need. “Become my prisoner… or my master,” he says, voice low and deliberate. Each word tastes of a challenge, an invitation—and you feel every ounce of it.

The wicked smile that curls on your lips matches his as you reach up, wrapping your hand around his neck, and pulling him closer. The heat of his breath against your skin sends a shiver through you, and the connection between you becomes even more undeniable, more electric.

“You can never… leave me,” he murmurs, his voice rough and unsteady as his lips brush over yours.

The kiss starts slow, but it doesn’t stay that way for long. The pressure between you—too much, too overwhelming after everything that’s led to this moment—pushes you both into something more. The kiss deepens, urgent and desperate, a clash of lips and tongues as you both crave the release that’s been building.

His hands tighten on your waist, pulling you closer, his body molding to yours as your mouths crash together again and again, hungry for more. Your hips instinctively grind against him, a steady rhythm driven by raw need, and the weight of his body above you only fuels the urgency. The heat, the tension, the desire—every inch of him presses you against the floor, every movement igniting a fire that spreads through your body.

Zayne’s fingers trail down your spine, gripping your hips harder, holding you in place as he pushes you into him with more force, guiding your grinding motion with growing urgency. You can feel the heat radiating between you, the pulse of desire making every second more intense than the last, every touch heightening the ache that has taken over you both.

Breathless, Zayne breaks the kiss, his forehead resting against yours for a moment. His chest rises and falls heavily, his eyes dark with hunger. His hands move lower, gripping your thighs, guiding you—slow but sure—as his lips find yours again in a kiss that’s fierce and insistent.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winter returns once more.

As you watch the light snow falling outside your window, it dawns on you: another year has passed since you and Zayne last parted ways in that interrogation room.

In the aftermath of that day, you walked away alone. The bitter truth that you couldn’t take him with you… You’d known that all along.

Even when he confessed that you were what he wanted, it wouldn’t have stopped him. Zayne has always been this way. Deep down, you’ve known it from the start.

After moving to this small town, you severed almost all ties with Linkon City. You made a conscious effort to avoid any news about him. You convinced yourself that if you didn’t see anything about him, you wouldn’t think about him anymore.

Then this morning, someone mentioned that a new doctor had opened a small clinic called Akso just a few blocks away. The moment you hear the clinic's name, your thoughts immediately go to a certain vet clinic with the same name—and a familiar doctor who became the prison’s warden. The person you’ve been trying to forget for a year. Zayne.

So, of course, you rush home, snatch your pet turtle from its cozy sunbathing spot, and dash off to Akso.

Arriving at the clinic, you push open the door, breathless from your frantic run. After a year apart, the silhouette you’ve yearned for stands right before you.

He turns to you with his usual calm demeanor. “What is it?” he asks, though the corner of his mouth twitches ever so slightly.

Without a second thought, you place your pet turtle on the nearest table and rush toward him, wrapping your arms around him in a crushing hug. Then you pull back just enough to crash your lips against his. Before he can even react, you pull away again, eyes wide, your cheeks burning.

He chuckles softly, his eyes glinting with amusement.

Avoiding his gaze, you scoop up your pet turtle and cough lightly. “Dr. Zayne, I think my pet turtle might be sick. It’s been really lethargic. It doesn’t even want to sunbathe anymore. Can you take a look at it?”

Trying to hide your embarrassment—and your excitement—you straighten your posture and meet his eyes. His amusement is obvious. He’s trying not to laugh.

“Miss, this clinic only treats human patients,” he says, his smirk growing wider.

Your face burns up again. You bite your lower lip and close your eyes, mortified...

That’s when you hear his footsteps approach. You open your eyes to find him standing right in front of you, gently taking your hand in his.

Then, something rare—a smile curves on his lips, soft and unguarded. It’s fleeting but real, and you can’t help but mirror it. Your heart skips, and for a second, the tension feels lighter, almost electric. You suppose he’s just as excited as you.

You clear your throat, trying to regain a bit of control. “...I see” His smile grows, contagious and impossible to ignore.

“Well,” you say, this time with more confidence, “I think I’m coming down with something. Would you mind giving me a check-up?”

He holds your gaze, bringing your hand to his lips. “I don’t think this is how I’m supposed to treat my patients.” His voice drops slightly, warm and low, the flicker of desire in his eyes unmistakable.

He steps closer, his breath warm against your ear. “But for you… I might make an exception.”

Your heart races as he pulls back, his smirk sharp and teasing. He releases your hand, turning toward the hallway.

“Follow me, Miss,” he says, the slightest smirk playing at his lips.

As you follow him, your pulse quickening, you realize this is the treatment you’ve been waiting for—especially with Dr. Zayne.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

Pstttt there's another extended of the extended version! here

[wheels-of-despair]

Define Romantic Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Is Eddie romantic? Evil Woman ponders. Out loud. And makes Eddie squirm a little, just for fun. Contains: Lovesick losers, mildly amusing banter, a verdict. Words: 800ish

"Do you think I'm romantic?"

"Define romantic," you say without looking up from your book. This is one of the least shocking random questions Eddie Munson has ever thrown at you.

"I dunno, like… romantic."

"Yes, repeating the word really does the trick, thank you for that, Edward."

He drops his face onto the pillow and groans. You put your book aside, turn your head toward the frustrated boy lying face-down next to you in your bed, and wait for an explanation.

He flips over on his back, putting his hands behind his head, and speaks to the ceiling.

"Two chicks in third period were taking a romance quiz in some gossip rag and I was bored enough to listen."

"Ah, so we're going by Cosmo's romance standards," you surmise. He shrugs. "So like… flowers and chocolate and red rose petals on the bed?"

"Nevermind," Eddie sighs, closing his eyes. "Forget I brought it up."

"Nope." You roll over and nestle into his side like you belong there, resting your head on his chest and slinging a leg over his. "You asked, now you're gonna get it."

"Oh, God." He groans, but wraps an arm around you.

"Do you think you're romantic?"

"I don't know," he whines.

"Do you want to be?"

"Is it like… optional?"

You snort. Eddie shifts uncomfortably, and you collect your thoughts.

"I think you're romantic, but not in a traditional way. And I love that about you."

"Yes, good. Continue," he says. You laugh and proceed.

"I don't think romance means the same thing to everyone," you muse. "To me… it's not gifts that you're expected to give. Flowers and teddy bears and jewelry on Hallmark-approved holidays. It's…" You pause to take a breath and search for your words. "It's little things that make me stop and go, 'fuck, I love this guy.'"

"Like what?" Eddie asks quietly.

You think about it for a moment, and when you realize what the answer is, a smile spreads across your face.

"Like how you always 'forget' the blanket when we go to Weathertop, so I have to rely on you for warmth."

"Bold of you to assume I forget on purpose," he chuckles, giving you a slight squeeze with the arm he has around you. "What else?"

"Hmmm…" you ponder. A laugh escapes your lips. "When you ramble about Middle-earth."

"Shut up."

"I'm serious," you grin. "You get so fired up and animated, waving your hands all around and knocking stuff over. I love it."

"K, I'm just gonna go die of embarrassment now, it was kind of nice knowing you, I guess," he grumbles, trying to squirm away. You hold him tighter. He's not going anywhere.

"It's passionate," you correct him. "The way you rant and rave about something that matters to you. To me. I don't know if I'll ever fully understand the complicated world of Tolkien, but dammit, I love listening to you ramble about it."

"Really?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah!" you laugh. "You know what else stokes the fire in my loins?"

"Oh God," he groans, squirming and pulling his hair across his face and trying to hide how much he's enjoying this.

"The way your good-morning and your good-night kisses are completely different," you say quietly, kissing his jaw. He stills, and you rest your head in the crook of his neck and continue. "The way you look at me when you're on stage. The way you light cigarettes. The way you keep your fridge stocked with my favorite pop. The way it feels like we're the only two people in the world when we're alone together. The way you nuzzle your nose into my neck when it's frozen and I tell you to stop and you know I don't mean it so you don't. And those little drawings you make for me on tiny scraps of paper. You know I keep all of those?"

"You do?"

"Mhm," you hum, resting your chin on his chest to look up at his blushing face. "And I'd pick one of those over a truckload of roses or a box of boring jewelry every time. So yes, Eddie Munson, I think you're extremely romantic. In a way that's probably weird to other people, but perfect for us."

"Because we're weird," he supplies.

"Because we're weird," you confirm.

You let the words hang in the air between you for a moment, unable to break eye contact.

"So uh…" Eddie smirks, shifting beneath you. "Would now be an appropriate time for me to stroke the fire in your loins?"

You narrow your eyes. When his smirk fades and his eyes show a trace of fear, you grin.

"Ugh, fine," you groan.

He pounces.

[littelovelunette]

can u do that same professor sevika but make her 100% fluff with the reader after class and invites her to her home hehehe

Improving Percentages (5)

contains fluffffffffff

"Hey, Professor Sevika is waiting for you, she finished her other batch early, go on!" The woman at the reception table said and you nodded getting up and swinging your bag over one shoulder.

You walked to the end of the hall, turning the door knob and peeking inside, "May I—"

"Yeah, come in," Sevika said not looking up from your case study work, twirling a pen in her hand as she read through the lines of your answer.

"Thanks." You muttered and walked inside, taking a seat next to the HUGE atrium window which was usually curtained but a little gap of the curtains next to the seat gave you a beautiful overview of the city in the dark, the neon lights flashing, honking of busy cars.

There was something about people being so darn busy as fully functioning adults that made you wonder what kept them so busy and if you would be so busy too if you had a job.

Sevika put her pen down, taking a sip of her expresso and looked at you, calling your name.

"Yes?" You looked at her, tearing your gaze away from the city overview.

No one was in the class yet, it was just you and her, and usually she would steal a kiss from you but it was a little risky right now because any moment the other students could come in.

"Come here," Sevika said and you thought she'd kiss you but the moment you stood in front of her chair, feeling small due to her muscular tall frame, Sevika said, "I can see the seams of your bra, put a jacket on."

"But I don't—"

Sevika shoved a jacket towards you from her bag underneath the table, you smiled gratefully at her, "You're a lifesaver." You put the jacket on, making sure it covered where your dignity had been falling off from.

"Now let's talk about your paper," Sevika said, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to her making your breath hitch.

"I'm serious," she added and you giggled a little before nodding and looking at the paper she was marking. That was a lot of red lines...

"You did well, and the answer was okay but there are a few places you could've done better at," Sevika explained, "Like I specifically mentioned yesterday you were to add advantages right after mentioning disadvantages, yeah? Just do that with autocratic and democratic leadership, sprinkle in some words related to the stem and at the very end, conclude with your recommendation of which one is better suited to respective business." Sevika took her glasses off, placing them next to the pencil case

"Mhm... I understood, do you want me to redo the whole case study at home?" You asked, taking the paper.

"Yes, that would be good but it's not too necessary, whenever you're free," Sevika said gesturing you to go back to your seat.

The other students started coming in gradually and Sevika started her lesson, all the while you were back to thinking why Sevika was risking her career by dating you. It just seemed so... Sweet and dangerous at the same time.

You didn't want her life falling apart because of you and you knew you had to let go to save it but what if she didn't let go? What if she clung on?

You had never experienced someone ever begging you to stay usually it was just you trying to keep a relationship.

Class ended a bit later and as usual you stayed behind as the other students left. "Hey, baby, let's go back to my place today?" Sevika said approaching me and pulling me close to her.

"Mhm..?" You giggled and nodded, wrapping both arms around one of hers, "but what if we run into someone on the road who knows either me or you?"

"you thought I'd make you walk, princess?" sevika chuckled shaking her head, messing up your hair a little before she started putting her things in her bag, "make your way out and start walking okay? stop in front of the four-way main road, ill pick you up from there, it'll be safer." sevika mumbled as she continued tidying up her desk

"okay, see you soon," you said and walked out of the classroom, playing with the sleeves of your sweater as you walked out of the academy and pressed the ground floor button of the lift, waiting for the elevator to arrive. sevika was just so... different from everyone else you've been with, yet you weren't sure what you both were. more than just student-teacher or not.

after the elevator opened with a little ding you got inside, waiting patiently for the elevator to take you to the ground floor while you continued thinking about sevika. you had never really confronted her about what she thought the both of you were and she didn't seem like the person who was into labelling relationships...

but given how no-nonsense her attitude usually was you were almost sure she wouldn't play around with someone's feelings.

with a small sigh, you walked out of the elevator and the cold hair hit your exposed skin making you shudder a little. as you walked out of the building you realised it was already dark outside, you took your phone out and checked the time.

it wasn't too late, but eitherway you texted your mother with a simple "i'll be at professor sevika's house for an extra class planned early today, she won't be available for mondays lessons that's why."

you read the text over and over to make sure there were no loops before starting to slowly start walking towards the four-way road sevika had told you to stop by at. the air was cold, blowing your hair out of your face and making you shiver a little. the roads were busy as usual, speeding cars and people trying to cross the road, but the only sound you could focus on was the sound of your footsteps against the concrete as you walked.

you didn't wait for too long after reaching the four-way road because you saw a car slow down in front of you making you blush slightly. you took a look around to make sure no one was around before you got inside the passenger seat with a little smile.

"nice ride," you complimented

sevika smirked a little hand travelling to rest on your thigh, "uh-huh, you like it huh?" she continued driving through the traffic

"i told my mother that i was gonna be at yours for extra class because you won't be available on Monday." you informed making sevika chuckle a little.

"little liar." sevika said as she gave you a little smile, a rare sight usually.

"i've been meaning to ask you something." you said wringing your hands in mild anxiety, looking over at sevika to see her facial expression every once in a while.

"go ahead, doll." she said blankly her voice betraying close to no emotion

"so i've never really— um— what i meant to ask was what are we?"

a silence enveloped the normal chatter in the car and you could see sevika's eyes trying to fix themselves on the road.

"well, what do you think we are?" sevika retorted.

"i don't know, i just, it's so weird because i take you as a respectable lady who would always put her career up first before anything and everything else so you dating me, your student, is a bit uncharacteristic and... absurd." you paused before adding, "but that doesn't mean i put you past it i think if you do love someone passionately there's no stopping in that and i won't... hold it over you if you say you're not ready for something like a relationship or want to keep it casual. i just— it would be nice if... it was a mutual thing." the ending of your words were beyond dumb and a little awkward

sevika laughed her voice a deep rumble from somewhere within her chest but the tone? you couldn't exactly place it "you take me for a fool, dolly?"

"what? no!—"

"you're mine. there is no other label for it. it's not casual, it's not a fling, it's not absurd. you're mine and that's that," sevika said with a little edge to her voice.

"so are we—?"

"lovers? heck yeah. girlfriends? fuck yes." sevika cut you out as she continued driving, "i can't believe you'd take me for the player type."

"im sorry I just..." you trailed off looking out of the window, "i guess i don't have the cleanest dating history is all."

sevika parked in front of a relatively pretty apartment, the gardens, the plants, flowers decorated the huge terraces of each floor. it was beautiful, the wooden decorations paired with thick, huge glass windows... looked like something straight out a Pinterest board.

"look at me." she said her voice an octave quieter

you looked at sevika, biting your bottom lip nervously for a bit before releasing the now reddened lip

"you matter to me. your feelings matter to me. i don't know what you dated before. but you're single now so i just know it wasn't a commitment at least from their part. but im here to stay. whether we fall off or not im here to stay okay? don't let me catch you ever thinking otherwise." sevika said gently which was absolutely out of character from the usually sharp, stern sevika you knew

"mhm... i love you, sevika." you smiled

"i love you too angel." she returned the smile and sevika got out of the car, walking around and opening the door for you so could step out too as the both of you made your way across the huge expensive garage and to an elevator that was ten times bigger than the one at the academy

"you're damn rich," you muttered and sevika laughed, "i like keep things quality."

as you both got in the elevator and sevika pressed the button for her apartment unit, you stared at the taller woman, studying her facial features. you knew this was probably gonna be the healthiest relationship you've ever had even if... it wasn't the most ethical one so far.

[asneakyfox]

if i'm reading you right, you're pointing out four reasons the scenes aren't the same:

ed doesn't choke izzy in the exact same way

the lighthouses don't look like the same lighthouse

the blocking for the two scenes is mirrored rather than identical, with ed on the left side in the izzy scene and on the right side in the scene with his dad

the lighthouse symbolizes stede, and stede isn't important to the first scene

i have to say the first three honestly strike me as entirely irrelevant. i would not generally expect tv to indicate that two scenes are similar by making them as close to literally identical as you're suggesting, although there's exceptions like a situation where it's meant as a very overt comedy beat. you could also point out other differences, like the fact that one takes place on a sunny day and the other on a rainy night, or that one is set in a cabin on a ship and the other outdoors on land, or that if you look closely con o'neill and damien gerard are technically two different guys. if the show could only indicate parallels between two scenes by making the second scene an exact beat-for-beat shot-for-shot recreation of the first it would rapidly become extremely boring. you could just as well argue that if the 2x05 moonlight scene had been intended as a parallel to the one from 1x05 they would have made the moon full instead of gibbous, and since they didn't do that it must mean all the similarities that are present are just coincidence. (that's a scene that is making its parallels unusually on-the-nose for cutsey romcom reasons and there's still major differences!)

#4 is puzzling to me because you've answered it yourself - the show has never treated lighthouses as a symbol of just one thing, we are told explicitly that it means multiple things, both a guide and a warning. and if a warning is what it means in the patricide scene then very obviously that's at least part of what it means in the izzy scene! that scene is very overtly the start of ed going down a path we don't want him to take, he's about to crack up on the rocks!

in fact he's about to crack up on the same rocks, which is kind of the whole point of this. like the real meat of the parallel here would be there even without any visual reinforcement - the only reason we're talking about the visuals is that they're what make it clear the creators were conscious of the parallel and considered it an important thing to reinforce. the heart of it is in both scenes:

ed is dealing with an angry older white man who is a significant part of his life, who has been threatening to both ed himself and other people ed loves (and, if you include the cut lines from his dad, both men have been trying to pressure ed himself to perform masculinity in specific ways). after putting up with it for a long time, ed is pushed too far and reacts with defensive physical violence. although he succeeds in the immediate act of self-defense, the scene leaves ed traumatized, believing that his own act of violence proves he is an unlovable monster.

there are also some significant differences between the two scenarios, like the fact that izzy is doing all this on purpose, while there's no suggestion that ed's dad intended to provoke his son to violence. the presence of those differences don't change the core parallel though. the scenes are variations on the same theme, and the variation does matter, but the theme is consistent.

this is central to ed's character arc. it's the center of ed's character arc in season 1, the thing it pivots on. the reason ed becomes the kraken is because the scene with izzy triggered the exact same trauma he's carried from the act that defined his childhood, that's the throughline. if the two scenes weren't striking the same trauma then ed wouldn't react the way he does to the second one.

(that didn't have to mean q.e.d. izzy is ed's father figure for all time and that had to be the main theme of their relationship. it just means there's one scene in which izzy played a role that paralleled ed's dad - but it's a pretty important scene. the show could have played that as a thing that happened only once. but it still would have happened, it would have been something that was there at least in one pivotal scene whether or not they chose to expand on the theme in s2.)

anyway back to what lighthouses symbolize. i would suggest that while the lighthouse definitely signifies a warning signal in both scenes, it's an entirely plausible read that it symbolizes stede in both scenes in addition to that. this show is a romance, and it's the kind of romance where people turn into hallucinatory mermaids and call their lovers back from the land of the dead. it is not at all surprising to me that in a scene set long before ed and stede meet, there would be a symbolic reminder that even in this darkest moment of ed's life the love of his life was already out there waiting for him, warning him away from the path he was on, calling him back to land. that kind of soulmate stuff, portraying the two lovers' stories as having been intertwined before they ever met, that's totally in-genre here.

finally i did say i thought points 1-3 were irrelevant, so i don't think this matters, but i want to point out that #3 is also not quite right; you've got the wrong flashback there. as you noted earlier, we see two versions of ed's father's death, and no lighthouse is visible in the "real" one, because the camera is always facing either inland or down. (the fact that the lighthouse is only clearly even there in ed's imagination probably says something interesting about the symbolism - there might not be a lighthouse at all in the real scene, it's unclear in that version if the flashing could be just lightning - but that's kind of outside the scope of this.) if you positioned the camera behind them facing the sea, so that the lighthouse (if it exists) were in frame like it is in the other scene, the way they're positioned would of course put ed on the left.

but the version of the scene where you do see the lighthouse is the one where ed is supposedly only present as a watcher; ed's actions in this scene are displaced onto the literal kraken, the kraken is symbolically replacing ed himself. you'll never guess which side of the screen the kraken is on.

ed's dad is even positioned here directly in front of the lighthouse, blocking our (and young ed's) view of it, like you pointed out that izzy walks forward into the center of the frame to block our view of the painting, while ed is still positioned on the left.

like i said i don't think the blocking is an element that needs to be exactly the same for the scenes to work as parallels, so personally i wouldn't count this as a particularly important part of the whole visual parallel situation. but if you're concerned about it, that's something there.

So I’m up to episode 10 of my most recent rewatch and I noticed something interesting in the scene where Izzy confronts Ed. At the beginning of the conversation the camera tends to stay with Ed in the left side of the frame and Izzy on the right, with the space between them in center. We do get some shots of just Ed where he’s in center (not included) but any shots that focus on Izzy still keep Ed in the frame with Izzy staying right of center.

So I am not a cinematographer by any stretch, but this seems all pretty straight forward to me? Like, we’ve got these two people having an argument so we’re showing them on literal opposite sides, and our shots are biasing toward whoever is speaking at the moment, but with an overall bias toward Ed, who we’re supposed to sympathize with.

But where it gets interesting is when Izzy makes his namby-pamby comment, and Ed pushes Izzy up against the wall. Izzy is still right of center, but take a closer look at what is now in the center of the frame.

The lighthouse painting. The lighthouse which represents both Stede and Stede & Ed together. In this moment while Ed briefly appears to have control of the conversation, this painting representing many of the things Ed wants and wants to be is prominently in the shot even while we’re supposed to be focused on Izzy. And as an added bonus just as Ed is consistently on the left side of the frame in this argument, the lighthouse is on the left side of the painting.

But then Izzy takes back control over the conversation. He reaches out and strokes Ed’s face, causing Ed to jerk back and let go of Izzy.

Izzy takes advantage of this to step closer to Ed, bringing him to center frame.

And even then he continues to get closer and closer.

And as Izzy whispers his threat to Ed we’re left with this: Izzy filling the center of the frame, with Ed only barely visible at the very edge, and the lighthouse missing from the painting, completely blocked out by Izzy.

[sgiandubh]

Just so stories: no trespassing

One of the more sophisticated talking points across the street goes something along these lines:

'Why don't we have any pictures with SC outside of promo events and fan service?'

At the same time, 'why would anyone keep quiet about the private lives of two [cursor can go anywhere from] D to B- list actors?'

If all those people in the back could only add two and two, the answer would be easy, I think. But logic was always in very short supply over there, wasn't it?

We don't have many (not any of those, ever, like they desperately try to explain) SC pics, precisely because they are [cursor can go anywhere from] D to B-list actors.

Just imagine. How many people really, seriously know who they are, while brushing past them on a reasonably busy street in Anywhereville, Planet Earth?

How many of the few who know who they are would only care to stop and take a pic? And if so, why would they?

Would Miss Tweedledee, a cashier, ever care to ask that tall guy, a regular client, for a selfie and an autograph on a ten-pound bill she'd eventually frame and hang in her bedroom? Of course not. Miss Tweedledee is British and, as such, values privacy. Plus she is at work. Why lose her daily bread for a perfectly ridiculous reason and three (in)famous minutes of international hysteria, on X or IG?

Would Mister Tweedledum, the neighbor, suddenly start acting strange and spy with his little eye their daily traffic (Subject H coughed convincingly at 20:23, Subject B rolled eyes and started to fix a cuppa)? Of course not. Mister Tweedledum is not a sewer stalker and has his own life. For him, Subject H and Subject B are just those very nice people next door. Plus he doesn't want any trouble with the police, which is understandable. Hurray for social media, then, for it is here and only here that this kind of sociopathic monomania flourishes. Flowcharts and timelines on top.

Relative anonymity and well behaved people's reluctance to come across as nosy and show off are key to understand why. It's not that hard, really. Trumpeting the contrary over and over again is tastelessly absurd.

Being delusional is not daring to critically question the ever thinning hogwash of a tired narrative. Being delusional is having your brain parked in a world that revolves just around Those Two.

It is a thing of wonder nobody ever seriously asked themselves if the entire farce being so dutifully served on certain social media accounts (ahem) isn't just a clever attempt to keep the masses at bay of what is probably their and only their own truth.

[danisbrainrot]

Teen nat comforting you when you're crying about something hcs?

natalie scatorccio x reader

a/n: we're so back! after the first two episodes of season three dropped I'm inspired by this ask. it's not head canons, sorry, I just liked the idea and wanted to write a little story about it.

sorry this must be at least six months late, but here it is! camp counsellor nat :)

spoilers ahead!! (technically? I think it's just season two spoilers though)

wiping the tears from your eyes, you sniffle into your lap, hunching over to take up as little space as possible. you just wanted to be out of everyone's way, not wanting to ruin the mood with your tears. everyone else was happy and celebrating surviving winter, while you felt stuck. frozen in time, still unable to move on from how much winter took from you girls.

first jackie. then crystal. then javi. . .

now springtime has rolled around, you can't help but feel the same dread you felt throughout winter—yes, it was lovely now and your team has cultivated a livable community. however, you couldn't help but wonder what happens next winter? When akilah's animals freeze to death, gen can't find game. . . when shauna goes crazy again.

you pause, wondering when was the last time shauna was sane. then, guilt creeps in as you realise that you had no right to judge her—not after everything she lost. her best friend. her baby.

"hey, are you okay?" nat asked, crouching down to your level.

you gasp in shock, wiping more tears from your eyes. your cheeks stung with embarrassment at getting caught—nat came out of nowhere, giving you no time to recuperate. "yeah, just. . . needed to let it out."

placing a comforting hand on your back, nat tried to offer you a reassuring smile. "hey, we all understand. it can feel daunting out here. if you ever need someone to talk, I'm here."

"oh I know, your majesty," you tease, eliciting a snort from nat—you could tell she hated the title. you sigh gently, signalling you were okay. nat pats your thigh, standing up when suddenly your hand flings out to grab hers. "do you think we're awful people? for eating javi? and jackie?"

nat pauses, her face dropping significantly. she bites her bottom lip, which you find insanely attractive, before shrugging. "we did what we had to. . . to survive."

"but if that's what it takes to survive, do we deserve to?" you question, clutching nat's hand firmly. the brunette looks down at you, her expression unreadable, before shaking her head.

"all I know is that it should have been me. javi. . . I still don't believe in lottie's bullshit about the forest, but I will never forget his sacrifice."

you nod, realising your questions were hurting natalie more than you'd meant for them to. you drop your hand, resting it in your lap and watch her walk away.

she swivels her head to look at you, words on the tip of her tongue, before she shakes the thought away and walks away.

late that night, you hear a rustle outside your makeshift hut. turning to your roommate, you find gen fast asleep, so you decide to investigate by yourself. you follow a sliver of light, someone's back to you as they watch the small flames dance.

"shouldn't you put that out? it's late," you ask, sitting next to nat on the campfire log. she glances at you, her face enchantingly illuminated by the flames, taking your breath away.

"just thinking," she mumbles.

"about our conversation before?" you ask, eliciting a nod in response. you stare at the fire, wondering if it was the heat from the dying flames that burnt your cheeks or the way nat looked.

"you didn't chase me. why?" she whispers, not daring to look you in the eyes.

"when we ate jackie, it felt different. . . she was already dead and we didn't cook her, the snow did. sure, it was cannibalism but it wasn't murder. . . if I had chased you—"

"you'd have actively tried to hunt me," she replies.

"it seemed wrong, even for us," you answer.

there was a beat of silence while you watch her gaze into the flames. you felt your heart race in your chest, working up the courage to tell her what you want to say, "it goes both ways," you promise. she looks up at you confused, "if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. . . and I'm sure it's not easy as the antler queen, especially with whatever shauna and mari have going on."

nat erupts into laughter, shaking her head. "don't get me started on those two," she replies, before her laugh fades to a small smile. she places her hand on your shoulder, "but I like the idea. we look out for each other."

"You'll be the queen and I'll be your—wait what is it called. . . the people royalty lean on for support. . . oh, concubines?" your face drops when you notice nat's face. her eyebrows are raised and tries to cover her mouth and stifle her laughter.

nat can no longer hold it in and burst into laughter again, "that doesn't mean what you think it does," she teases.

"oh, that's the sex one. isn't it?" you mutter, lowering your head to avoid her gaze. nat tucks her hair behind her ears, making you think about how she managed to rock the grown out look. she suited blonde, brunette and a combination of both.

nat notices you watching her intensely, "what? is there something in my hair?" she asks, raking her hands through it swiftly.

"no, no. just wondering if you miss the blonde?"

"well, it's still there, isn't it?"

you snort, "yeah, but the full blonde?"

nat shrugs, "more important things to worry about," she replies candidly.

you reach out to play with the blonde hair, twirling it around your finger. unknowingly, you'd accidentally brought her face closer to yours. she didn't seem to mind, but once you realise your cheeks burn and you shuffle away from her. "sorry," you mumble.

"come here," she replies, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you close.

your lips connected seamlessly, like your lips were made for each other. she kisses you softly, a reassurance that she was here for you, while her fingers tangle themselves in your—already tangled—hair.

after what felt like only a minute—but could have been longer—nat gently pulls away, a string of saliva all that connected you two. she runs her thumb over your bottom lip, cleaning away the evidence, and offers you a wonky smile. "I suppose every queen needs her concubine after all," she jokes.

"that was amazing," you whisper, still in awe. she laughs again, resting her forehead against yours.