#people straight up ignore the fact that she's aroace

[curlyhairedintrovertsworld]

yelena belova

I understand that characters can be aroace and still romance or sex favorable but it always makes me very uncomfortable when non-ace/aros use this as an excuse to ship them bc it just feels like an excuse not to gaf and keep shipping or sexualizing them anyway

[skittlespizza]

Some thoughts about Shilo (and a lot of my thoughts about the aromantic reading of him)

Okay, so Shilo has been a character that's been spinning in my head pretty constantly. This isn't going to be organized but rather kind of just. Thoughts.

I see a lot of people interpret Shilo as a purely innocent person who has done no wrong wet cat, and yeah! He is! But the thing is, he's... done wrong. He's a vampire. There's something inherently evil in all vampires, and i believe this misconception stems from people not knowing the vtm lore. In VTM, all vampires have a beast inside of them, and this beast is inherently evil and cruel and animalistic, which is the part that forces vampires to feed. Shilo hasn't frenzied, he's never lost control of this beast but the fact he has one is enough to make him "not purely innocent", I'd argue he thinks he's innocent and hasn't done wrong but keep in mind he has zero hestitation throwing guards to die. He's indirectly killed several times, and that's not really something we can ignore when thinking about shilo.

He's also incredibly manipulative. He has no worries dominating or manipulating people for his own gain, and again, this comes from his sheltered life. This comes from him simply not knowing any better, but even then, this is a major flaw that i feel some people dont think about.

Shilo isn't rapunzel, Rapunzel isn't a killer, and she isn't manipulative with a disregard for people's lives. That is to say Shilo isn't pure evil, but rather, he's a morally grey character. He's killed, and he's manipulated, but you could argue that it came from a place of not knowing any better, but even then, he's still killed and manipulated. Do you see where the interesting moral dichotomy lies? Is he at fault for the evil he does if he doesn't know any better. I just dont like the "purely good" Shilo takes I've seen some people have.

The aromantic stuff:

I think it's rather well known I'm an aroace shilo truther (if im being honest, i have a distaste for armored pheasant to an extent, but that is not what this is about). I feel as if that's a rather crucial part of his character, and it's not unsubstantiated. He quite literally says he's incapable of having romantic feelings, and in the newest episode (i am not caught up, forgive me), I've heard there's more he says that hints towards this aromantic reading. He's had zero interest in romance, and the fact he was bloodbonded to Edward without his consent can have rather interesting implications that I believe could be expanded on. A lot of aromantics know that feeling of being told "I can fix you" or whatever and Shilo parallels it quite well with the experience he has had with Edward. Below is the quote where he says he's incapable of romantic love.

(This is my own personal opinion but I believe his character is also sort of dumbed down once someone ships him with Grefgore. A lot of people did from the get go, and I get and see the appeal but I also think they're better as friends but again, personal opinion and I don't care if you ship them but his character falls into the "only interesting for the shipping to the fandom" pit quite easily.)

There's something incredibly validating to have a character like Shilo, who's kind and silly and aromantic if that makes sense. Aromantic representation has been lackluster, and most representation is god awful (coughLovelesscough) so having Shilo would be really nice. He's not canon representation, yes. Unless Bizly straight up confirms it, it's just implied representation but come on. It's right there guys. Give us an aro win.

His character has a lot of interesting bits: a character who's only experience with the world is through media & book (hashtag autism), a character who's incredibly cruel yet kind, a character blind to his own flaws, an aromantic character who loves despite. Give me more morally grey Shilo, more guilty Shilo and most of all. More Aromantic Shilo.

[emeraldspiral]

Invader Zim is a queer show, this is an indisputable fact.

The entire Irken race is canonically aroace.

Even among the Irken race where being aroace is the equivalent of being straight, Zim is still queer. He is in the closet and in deep denial about wanting relationships the rest of his species consider abnormal, like parental love and friendship. He is constantly insisting that “Invaders need no one” but we all see him keeping GIR around even though he messes up his plans more than he helps, or squeezing the cold unfeeling robot arm, or programming Clembrane to think that Dib loves Zim, or in the comics insisting that Prisoner #777 is his friend.

Within the show’s subtext, the main premise is two people who don’t fit in with their respective societies desperately craving recognition and acceptance.

Zim represents the closeted, repressed queer experience. He wears a disguise in public and is constantly putting on performative displays of normalcy and denying that the parts of himself that deviate from social norms exist. Dib meanwhile, is openly “different” and enduring the struggles of not being accepted, respected, or understood, particularly by his family. Part of Zim’s public masking often includes piling on the ridicule Dib deals with in order to deflect attention from his own “abnormality”, which rarely works and only makes it more acceptable for people to shit on both of them.

Literally the first time Zim and Dib meet, Dib identifies Zim on sight and tries to out him, only to get called out on being prejudiced himself. Zim hates Dib for trying to expose and endanger him. But to Dib, Zim is indisputable evidence that he isn’t crazy for believing what he believes and its the rest of the ignorant world who refuse to see the truth who are wrong. Zim’s existence validates Dib’s.

Certain episodes make this theme almost explicit.

In the unfinished episode Mopiness of Doom, Dib pretends to be something he’s not in order to fit in and enjoys the social benefits for awhile but ultimately becomes depressed and realizes he can’t find true happiness without being his authentic self. The subtext isn’t even subtle here, they straight up code Zim and Dib’s unhappiness with their separation like a romantic break-up, ending in a reconciliation that confirms that they feel attachment toward each other.

But that wouldn’t be the first time Zim did an entire episode with gay subtext. The very next episode after Nightmare Begins is Bestest Friend, a story that begins with Zim attempting to dissuade speculation about his single status by recruiting a beard. A beard who happens to be another boy wearing a rainbow shirt, who is part of a group of outcasts. Keef is even explicitly stated by GIR to “love” Zim. In Return of Keef not only is he still crazy about Zim, he becomes fixated on Dib as well, and becomes so excited about the two of them hugging he explodes. That’s the true power of finding solidarity with other gays.

Keef would not be Zim’s only beard in the series either. With Tak, it’s barely even subtext, he straight up dated a girl to "pass” at Skool, not knowing she was doing the same thing.

The show is so gay it’s literally the precursor to Steven Universe. Baby Rebecca Sugar looked at the show, saw the obvious implications of Irken society and Zim’s existence, and then grew up and made her own show based around the idea of unpacking all of that and making the queer subtext explicit text.

[whatshereforme]

Since watching the new season of heartstopper ive been playing around with labels again (which I haven’t done since a friend I trusted basically shut me down and told me I can’t just be something without having “tried all my options first” ew). I’m always scared to relabel or try identifying as something other than what I’m comfortable being because I feel like I owe everyone consistency

When I was 15 (I’m 21 rn) I came out as lesbian and honestly I was so comfortable with that and how people perceived me and I kinda loved how my male friends (which I had a lot of back then) treated me. The downside was how the black community treated me, I was mostly in the closet to them but the closet was very much transparent (they could always tell I wasn’t straight lol)

The year I turned 18 I started identifying as bisexual, largely because I thought I might like my male best friend. I proposed the idea and he asked me out almost immediately. We dated for exactly 7 days before I realized I wasn’t really into him like I thought. Downside to this era was the comments my male friends would make about “bisexual girls” to me. The only thing was that I was too scared to start identifying as lesbian again because I had come out to all my friends as bi already.

So I carried that label until now (a few people I know still think I’m probably lesbian still lol). The reason I felt comfortable in this label was because I had just turned 18. I went clubbing and did some excessive drinking for the past few years and being bi gave me an excuse to drunkenly make out with random men on nights out. I still don’t know how I feel about men to this day I guess (I’ve always known I’m romantically attracted to women but I’m always on the fence about men, it’s a bit weird)

My trouble came with the fact that I’m not keen on hooking up with people. No matter their gender I’m just not super excited about the concept of “intercourse” or any of the stuff that comes with it. When the last season of Sex Education came out I watched it with a friend and offhandedly made a joke about being ace in reference to one of the characters and she went “you can’t be ace you just haven’t had sex yet” and that literally sent me spiraling for days and I just pushed the feeling down and ignored it

Earlier this year though I was having one of my late night talks with my little sister because we had a sleepover in the living room. I made a joke about how I’m probably never gonna be in a relationship ever because I don’t really wanna have sex and she asked me if I was being serious. I said yes and she said “there will definitely be people out there that will be with you even if you don’t wants sex, you need to stop being such a dramatic bitch lol”. That was obviously really reassuring to hear someone I love tell me it’s ok to not want sex, even if that person is my straight 17 year old sister.

I’ve been very afraid of being openly asexual because I’m scared no one will love me if I can’t give them sex but also I know I’m capable of loving people without them giving me sex but that’s only because I don’t want sex in the first place. I just feel I will personally be unlovable.

Anyway back to heartstopper. Imogen’s journey with comp het was very much relatable for obvious reasons as I had gone through all that by that age (and am still deliberating to this day if I just crave male attention, which is sad I wish I was still as confident as I was at 16 to know but life took over lol) and of course Issac’s journey with dealing with the affects of being aroace in a world that revolves around romantic relationships and conditions us to believe we need to want sex and romance. I had already read solitaire, Loveless and Radio Silence when I was in secondary school. Radio silence was the first time I felt so utterly seen in a character. That being Aled Last (mostly relating in our similar relationships with our mums). And then I read loveless and it literally put me off kilter of months. To see Georgia’s journey had me reflecting on everything I was taught about relationships and sex and friendships (but then I had exams and graduation and had to put that self revelation on hold lol)

All this to say, I’m deciding from today that I want to identify as Asexual. I know labels can be limiting to some people and they have been to me for that past few years as well but I think being ace is something I have to go to be true to myself. I’m definitely not coming out of the closet anymore I’m too tired of thinking I owe that to people but I’m going to try be honest with myself.

[iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife]

Για το ask game Edgeworth και Ανδρέας

Miles Edgeworth 💅

First impression: OH I SHOULD GET INTO ACE ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY THIS MAN IS GOING TO RUIN ME.

Impression now: I was one hundred percent correct in my assumptions. He did in fact ruin me. This man has the range honestly. He is kind. He is an asshole. He is traumatised. He has every subtype of daddy issues known to man. He is a bitchy gay queen. He is aroace-spec (to me). He is autistic. He has NO idea what to do with himself when he is not in a courtroom. He is insane. Ive seen it. I enjoy it. Amen.

Favourite moment: "thanks to you i am saddled with unnecessary.... feelings....". Everything about turnabout goodbyes. The talk with Franziska at the end of aa2. The talk with phoenix after the earthquake in aa3. I could literally never pick Just One moment sorry.

Idea for a story: ... I've brainstormed two (2) aus that involve Edgeworth with two different mutuals. The first one is the Eurovision au where vk just sends miles to represent germany in Eurovision and the second one is the ace attorney/παρά πέντε crossover me and @alalumin have been driving ourselves insane over. Out of the two, the first one is the most fleshed out but the second one i might actually sit down and write for one day. Thats about all the concrete story ideas ive had for this man so far dkskks. Everything else is just a jumble of vague angsty daydreams.

Unpopular opinion: hmmm a lot of people tend to ignore the fact that he was canonically suicidal after aa1 so i suppose that could count as an unpopular opinion? Like if he wasn't actually suicidal, the note meant that he straight up faked his death which makes him an even bigger asshole that he usually is, which in turn makes phoenix's misdirected anger and blame seem a lot more justified? Also a lot of people tend to ignore the fact that phoenix would NOT handle Edgeworth admitting that he meant the note literally well. And honestly im not really blaming anyone here. Their aa2 dynamic is sooo complex, Edgeworth hurt the people that cared about him by hurting himself and not all of them are ready to forgive him immediately and thats fine. I just wish more people would explore this whole thing instead of oversimplifying it yknow?

Favourite relationship: narumitsu obvs but honestly? The Franziska and Miles fucked up sibling relationship means the world to me, its like a really really really close second.

Favourite headcanon: does it actually count as a headcanon if its strongly supported by canon? Idk but he definitely avoids elevators as much as he can and considering that his office is in the twelfth fucking floor the man walks up a lot of flights of stairs. He must have thighs of steel skkskaka. Also i like to think that at some point after the investigation games he went to therapy and he finally (!) got some help for that unmedicated and undiagnosed canon ptsd hes been drowning in since he was nine years old. Also he got Pess because i love her. Maybe she is trained as a service dog. He would love her with all his heart and her death would kickstart a major depressive episode because god knows this man can't handle grief but in the end he could get over it. Maybe even get a second dog or learn how to deal with loss in a less self destructive way. Also i don't think he would ever be able to fully enjoy Christmas? Like sure his fathers death doesn't hurt as much anymore but i like to think that the nightmares rear their ugly head during the Christmas season. Sure, he IS doing better but some things never really go away. He can hang out at the prosecutors office or Wright anything agency Christmas parties without feeling utterly miserable but he doesn't enjoy the holidays as much as everyone else. Some people don't understand why or think thats its just another aspect of his charming personality but the people who do are sympathetic about it.

Ανδρέας Καλογήρου 🔪

First impression: γουαου ποιός είναι αυτός ο μαλάκας λολ. Ειλικρινά νομίζω την πρώτη φορά που είδα το παρά πέντε δεν με ένοιαζε πολύ σαν χαρακτήρας.

Impression now: κοίτα. Έχεις δει το μπλογκ μου. Ξέρεις πως νιώθω για αυτόν τον άνθρωπο. Ο Ανδρέας έχει θεματάρες. Έχει παγιδεύσει τον εαυτό του σε μια θέση στην οποία είναι και θύμα και θύτης και από την οποία δεν έχει τρόπο ή ιδιαίτερη θέληση να βγει. Κατά την διάρκεια του σόου πηγαίνει από την αδιαφορία για τους ανθρώπους που σκοτώνει, στην εμμονή με το να πιάσει τους πέντε και μόνο όταν τον συλλαμβάνουν και όλα τελειώνουν συνηδειτοποιεί πόσο μάταια ήταν όλα αυτά και πόσες ζωές έχει καταστρέψει συμπεριλαμβανομένης και της δικής του. Επίσης ο άνθρωπος είναι μούναρος 😔😔.

Favourite moment: το τηλεφώνημα στον Σπύρο στο φινάλε με στοιχειώνει τα βράδια.

Idea for a story: πέρα από το ο Σπύρος επισκέπτεται τον Ανδρέα στη φυλακή fic που βρίσκεται αυτή τη στιγμή στο wip hell μου έχει καρφωθεί στο μυαλό εκείνη η ατάκα που ο Παυρινός αποκαλ��ί τον Νίκο πρεζόνι και το τι μπορεί να υπονοεί για το Ανδρέας/Νίκος μπακστορι. Επίσης εκείνο το όνειρο που είχα δει ότι έχει κόρη και redemption arc, angst fic για την γενική κακομεταχείριση που τρώει από τον Παυρινό, το Ανδρέας/Νίκος καφενείο au το οποίο κάποιος πρέπει να γράψει σας εκλιπαρώ και το προαναφερόμενο ace attorney/παρά πέντε crossover στο οποίο εμφανίζεται ως μάρτυρας στην δίκη της Αγγέλας. Το πόσα από αυτά θα καταλήξω όντως να γράψω ποτέ είναι πολύ αμφιλεγόμενο τβχ αλλά το γεγονός είναι ότι μου τριβελίζουν συνέχεια το μυαλό.

Unpopular opinion: δεν ξέρω είμαστε στο παρά πέντε φάντομ, είμαστε δέκα άτομα όλα κι όλα κάθε άποψη μετράει για unpopular κσκσκσ. Αλλά απλά και μόνο για να πω κάτι. Νομίζω όντως προσπάθησε να αγαπήσει τη Ζάνα. Ο γάμος τους ήταν ότι πιο hand in unlovable hand και σφάζονταν όλη μέρα αλλά προσπάθησε να φτιάξει τη ζωή του στην αρχή τουλάχιστον, εξού και ο ευτυχισμένος χετεροσεξουαλ γάμος. Στο μυαλό μου ήταν από αυτά τα ζευγάρια που έχουν ημερομηνία λήξης και το ήξεραν και οι δύο. Μετά έπεσε στα βαθιά με τις δουλειές με τον Παυρινό και πήρανε επιτέλους διαζύγιο. Επίσης δεν νομίζω ότι με τον Νίκο τα έχουνε, έχουνε. Νομίζω έχουν μια ελαφρώς fucked up relationship όπου δεν επικοινωνούν τίποτα εβερ, απλά πηδιουνται περιστασιακά on and off και μετά απλά πηγαίνουν και τα φτιάχνουν με άλλους. Τουλάχιστον στην αρχή. Τώρα αν μετά το τέλος της σειράς βγουν ποτέ από την φυλακή θέλω να πιστεύω ότι θα μπορούσαν να φτιάξουν λίγο τη ζωή τους αλλά αν δεν βγουν ποτέ. Well. Πώς νιώθεις όταν συνηδειτοποιείς ότι αγαπούσες τον καλύτερο σου φίλο χρόνια τώρα αλλά δεν έκανες ποτέ τίποτα για αυτό επειδή απλά δεν τολμούσες να αλλάξεις τίποτα στην μοναδική σταθερή σχέση που σου είχε απομείνει στη ζωή σου και ταυτόχρονα ήσουν πολύ απασχολημένος να σκοτώνεις κόσμο; Πώς νιώθεις όταν συνηδειτοποιείς ότι τώρα μπορεί να είναι πια πολύ αργά; Γενικά head full many thoughts.

Favourite relationship: Νίκος/Ανδρέας δαγκωτό.

Favourite headcanon: ναιιι δεν νομίζω ότι αυτός ο άνθρωπος είχε καλά παιδικά χρόνια. Ή καλό πατέρα. Ο Παυρινός κυριολεκτικά του πετάει πράγματα και αυτός ο καημένος σκύβει να τα πιάσει 😔 babyboy έχεις τραύμα. Η μάνα του είναι νεκρή (ναι κυριολεκτικά αναφέρεται έ��σι throwaway σε ένα επεισόδιο και δεν το έχω ξεχάσει ποτέ) και επιλέγω να πιστεύω ότι την σκότωσε ο πατέρας του. Μισεί τον πατέρα του και κατά βάθος μισεί και το γεγονός ότι μεγαλώνοντας έχει γίνει σχεδόν ακριβώς σαν αυτόν. Ξεκίνησε να καπνίζει στο γυμνάσιο. Επίσης δεν πιστεύω ότι τελείωσε ποτέ το λύκειο.

[kereton]

🔥: What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered? -- for Jermaine, Watt, and Zhartook; 💐: What is their courting style? How would they woo someone? -- for Destal and Terkazeeus; 💘: Is your OC a very good flirt? Are they charming? -- for Fenwick, Andurath, and Lok :3c

🔥: What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered? -- for Jermaine, Watt, and Zhartook;

Jermaine - My poor sorcerer boy hasn't had a genuine compliment thrown his way in a long time. Given his inferiority complex, he would probably rebuff the compliment in the moment only to get relentlessly teased by the party's bard later when he undoubtedly spills the beans. Then, realizing his mistake, he gets to be fussy and pouty about it all evening :D

Wyatt - Given the fact that my Weenie Hut Jr DMPC has been adopted by The Horniest Party, it's bad news for him whenever the party Gets Weird and puts him in the spotlight over his relationship with Lisbet, the party's warlock. Wyatt's a very internal guy, and would rather his relationship stay between Lisbet and himself. Unfortunately for him, this is D&D, so of course the Warlock was previously engaged to someone who died but Turns Out They're Still Alive! My poor, precious bean needs a god damn break.

Zhartook - I've been leaning aroace for Zhartook for some time, so this situation probably doesn't happen unless the other party is VERY forward or more physical with their advances. Zhartook's a good noodle, and would make an attempt to respectfully decline. However, situations where he's being disregarded or ignored would get under his scales. Barring that, his own mother trying to *wink wink nudge nudge* towards the party's gnome wizard Melliwyk also sends him up a wall.

💐: What is their courting style? How would they woo someone? -- for Destal and Terkazeeus;

Destal - As much fun as "he does a silly lil' dance" would be, I don't think it suits him. Destal, being a three year old Aarakocra, doesn't exactly have much to go on here aside from watching a budding romance between two of his party members. Because of that, I imagine his plan to woo someone is just to express a desire to hang out with and be around them, and then either seeing what happens or hope someone kind enough throws him a lifeline.

Terkazeeus (Skyrim campaign) - Terky was actually in a long-term, serious romance before They Got Killed In The Backstory. Being the absolute bluntest of instruments, she'll just order drinks, complain about how Argonian Ale is far superior to anything found in Skyrim, and then just info-dump everything about herself and her mission on her previously unsuspecting victim. Luckily for her, her ex-fiance found her direct approach rather charming, joking that she "Must have been in Skyrim for so long she's starting to become a Nord".

💘: Is your OC a very good flirt? Are they charming? -- for Fenwick, Andurath, and Lok :3c

Fenwick - Out of all of my OCs, Fenwick is a master of Getting the First Date and not The Second One. This doofus has all sorts of campy one-liners he's grabbed straight out of romance novels that have probably gotten him farther than he'd like to admit, but Fenwick over-excites and over-shares constantly. To some, raising a pet giant wolf spider and delving in ancient ruins to gather artifacts to convert his home into an actual museum is genuinely interesting! Those people tend to NOT be the tavern-goers Fenwick makes a move on.

Andurath - Those that aren't immediately offput by a 7 1/2 foot tall Goliath man would probably like what they find. That's good, because this boy is a TERRIBLE flirt. He's got a case of the Overly-Serious-Protagonist syndrome, but he's genuine, earnest, and calm. The kilt might raise an eyebrow, but the party's satyr warlock seems all for it!

Lok - Ahahaha no, not with his brain all scrambled and his crazy-grandpa-that-rolls-around-in-trash-with-animals aesthetic. Before The Incident is a different story. I mean, he's apparently got a kid running around, so maybe he's still got those moves!

[pinkapet]

The way I see the Strawhats and their romantic and sexual preferences. Romance isn't and never will be a major part of the One Piece plot, and I'm completely fine with that. But using what I know currently, as well as my own experience growing up repressing by bisexuality, I've given my best guesses.

Sanji- Some people will argue straight because of how girl crazy this dude is... but here me out. Zoro. The way he interacts with Zoro feels like a little more than just guys being guys.

Zoro- I can't see him as either straight or gay, so some sort of pansexual. I can only ever see anyone that can hold their own in a fight ever having a chance with Zoro.

Brook- Again, many would say straight but for him, I'd say Bisexual. I've seen him with Yorki, and that cannot be ignored. Was it just being second in command, or was it something else too?

Luffy- Aroace. He doesn't even react to anyone in a way that would remotely hint at attraction. Even the hottest person in the world, Boa Hancock, confessing her love for him, causes absolutely no reaction. All he thinks about are food and fighting, and that's all he needs.

Franky- I haven't seen enough of him to really tell yet, him and Robin are just more sane about how they express things. All I've ever seen him do related to this is tell Lola that he doesn't plan to settle down. Everyone close to him is a bro or a sis. Maybe a Demi romantic pansexual? So far that's my best guess.

Nami- I can't tell if it's a sort of feminist woman solidarity, or Nami liking girls, but I can't say straight. That's the best I've got for you, she has different priorities.

Usopp, Chopper, Robin- Like Franky, they haven't seemed to act one way or another around people according to looks. The only things I know for a fact are that Chopper seems really childish and not ready for romance, and that there might be something between Kaya and Usopp.

Jinbe- I'm sorry but I haven't gotten to where he shows up yet, and despite knowing a bit about him, I can't say anything about him yet. When I know enough about him, I'm update this.

[heloflor]

Have a doc filled with Mario headcanons and wanted to share the sexualities part because fuck it, it’s still pride month.

Disclaimer since it’s relevant to this post : I headcanon that Peach, Daisy, Wario and Waluigi are all creatures from the world of the Mushroom Kingdom who look the way they do due to magic gems (those blue and green gems that Peach and Daisy have respectively). Peach is a Toad, Daisy is a Dino-Rhino (unless those flower people from Mario Bros acid trip Wonder are from her Kingdom, then again I like Daisy being a giant cool Dino, plus the trailer for Wonder showed several other big animals), not sure for Wario and Waluigi but they’re not humans. The Super Crown works the way it does because there’s one of those gems in it.

Also, since it’s briefly mentioned, what I call the “main” continent is made out of the Mushroom, Koopa, Bomb-omb, Thwomp, and Goomba kingdoms. Sarasaland (retconned into Flower Kingdom now ?) and other kingdoms are on other continents (yes I know in Superstar Saga the Beanbean kingdom is neighbors with the Mushroom. But since they never appear in other games, I’ve chosen to ignore that detail).

Anyways, onto the headcanons :

- Mario : Transmasc Aromantic Heterosexual ; he realized he’s aro after finding out Peach is a Toad and losing sexual interest in her (felt bad about it at first because he thought he fell out of love upon discovering Peach at her most vulnerable, Bowser made it worse for him by accusing him of liking her only due to her human form) ; him being transmasc is why he’s named Mario Mario (he thought it would be funny)

- Luigi : Cis Bisexual ; had a fling with Peasley + loves Daisy ; he’s gender non-conforming and sometimes shares clothes with Peach, he also trains his voice to be higher-pitched for the heck of it (+ it can help in case he has to take Peach’s place for a kidnapping)

- Peach : Demiromantic Pansexual ; is cis-passing in human form but is technically transfem due to being a Toad

- Bowser : Omnisexual ; Cis tho I like the idea of him being transmasc and birthing Junior’s egg

- Yoshi and Birdetta are T4T + poly (hence Birdetta flirting with others) ; Birdetta’s eggs aren’t actually eggs (insert joke about her “eggs” being white) ; not sure if “all Yoshis that lay eggs are female” but at least all those that lay eggs that can be fertilized are female (and on that note YOSHI MIGHT BE CANONICALLY TRANSMASC ???!!!) ; Yoshi is straight while Birdetta is plurisexual (bi/pan/omni etc)

- Daisy : Straight + intersex + transfem (imagine if Prince Haru from the 1986 movie was her appearance pre-transition, but remove the whole “Peach’s fiancé” part of the plot, or the plot as a whole since the events of this movie didn’t happen here, just keep Haru’s design as “Daisy before transitioning”)

- Big fan of the headcanon that Kamek is gay ; he doesn’t date because 1. He’s busy 2. He’s getting too old for this 3. He’s devoted to his son and grandchildren which takes all his free time

- Depending on which creature he is Wario would be cishet though I could also see him be plurisexual (bi/pan/omni/other label that has to do with dating more than one gender ; I like putting diversity in queer headcanons but I’m not the most knowledgeable on labels past the most common ones)

- Not sure for Rosalina, either aroace or she’s allo but just stays single due to her life situation ; probably non-binary (she/it, could also be a play on the fact that some see her as some kind of goddess)

- Pauline is Cis Lesbian and her and Mario parted on good terms after he came out as trans on top of other reasons (basically they still care a lot about each other but realized they were better off as friends, the whole “unknown aro + transmasc with lesbian” simply gave them an easier excuse to break up)

- Really not sure for Bowser's kids, the only ideas that are "set in stone" are that Ludwig is gay, Wendy is attracted to boys (doesn't meant she can't like girls), Lemmy is demi-boy (they/him) and Morton is attracted to girls (like Wendy it doesn't close the door for liking men).

Not sure for the rest, though I could see Iggy using he/neopronouns (likely xe/xem) and at least one of them being interesex. Btw the older kids say they don’t date because they’re busy with royal duties but the truth is they are just incredibly awkward + they can’t ask their dad for advice since he’s a romantic disaster

- I could see Toadsworth be aroace, since even in his younger years he cared more about raising his surrogate daughter than dating + he never pressures Peach into marrying ? In general he doesn’t seem to care about romance ? ; he’s also transmasc because Toad

- After seeing Bowser’s Inside Story and the beginning of Dream Team, Starlow is a lesbian crushing on Peach (is very buddy-buddy with Peach despite barely knowing her, makes a big deal out of Peach being kept safe, calls her “Peach” instead of “Princess” from the get go, at times seems to see Peach as the best person in the room)

- Toads and Goombas are naturally agender because mushrooms ; some choose to express a specific gender (ex Toadsworth, Toadette, Peach, the Toads and Goombas from the first two Paper Mario) ; some may use gendered pronouns even if their presentation doesn’t display any specific gender (ex Captain Toad using he/him despite looking like any other Toad) ; basically every Toad/Goomba that use gendered pronouns (or neopronouns) is technically trans and/or non-binary ; cisgender Toads/Goombas go by they/it ; the Super Crown gem gives the shape the Toad see themselves as but it doesn’t have to be cis-passing or even gender conforming, can be androgyne (Daisy took a while to figure herself out, hence her gem giving her Haru’s look at first ; she's not from an agender species but the way the gems work still applies to hers, hence mentioning how her being trans worked on that front)

- That previous point implies either all Toads have the same metabolism and thus all grow facial hair (Peach having to shave tho) or they have mushrooms that serves as HRT for those who want more “masculine” or “feminine” traits (hair/facial hair and tone of voice) ; the color of their hats has nothing to do with gender for Toads (ignore Nintendo’s weird obsession with making every female character in the Mario franchise pink)

- Sexual dimorphism in general is very rare/limited in this world (only the Beanbean kingdom has it ?), in “main” continent, Koopas are the ones where it’s the most present and even then it’s very minimal (genitals, who can lay eggs, possibly size but even then not really since Pom Pom is the only one smaller than her male counterpart, Wendy and other female Koopas aren’t particularly small)

- Toads (and other species) experimenting with gender could be due to seeing Koopas make the distinction between “male” and “female” and finding the idea of changing your appearance based on how you feel to be fun (even though you have the concept of male and female Koopas, there’s no transphobia in Bowser’s kingdom) ; by that point it’s common for Toads to change however they feel and go by any pronouns they want, just because they’re aware of the concepts of masculinity and femininity doesn’t mean they have to follow it to the letter with their pronouns unless they want to

- On that note, I could see Toadette as genderfluid, though she most often goes by she/her ; I could also see one or several of the other main Toads (Ala Gold, Bucken Berry, Captain Toad, "The" Red ToadTM) be bi-gender

- Not sure what’s going on with Waluigi but he’s definitely queer

[dominaharper]

I had a whole ass divorce over being ace (and also because he thought he could convince me I wanted children when I told him going into it I didn’t. Honestly, people, just be up front from the start and don’t think you can “persuade” people otherwise)… despite telling my (now late) ex-husband AS WE STARTED DATING that “I’m not into it; I’m good with a physically open relationship for you as long as you don’t bring them into our shared space.”

And his insecure ass who was so used to women (don’t even get me started on trying to explain how he dealt with me being agender) throwing themselves at his feet (because he was built like a Greek god) couldn’t comprehend my sexuality to the point where he was convinced I was just testing him. His friends were like “your wife is so cool dude,” and he would constantly say he was waiting for the other shoe to drop even though I had given him exactly zero reason to think it was some kind of long con when he did in fact have a little black book and didn’t bring any of them home and I never flipped or yelled or anything of the sort. When we finally split, he had it in his mind that I was the one who got away (to the point of asking if I really did want a divorce while we were signing final papers despite him being engaged at the time). I flat out told him “You think I’m conquerable. You think if you just… do something different or something “right” I’ll suddenly be l a sexual creature. You’re not after me because you miss your best friend who you did everything with. You’re after me because I’m some kind of unicorn to you.”

The thing I absolutely can’t comprehend is how antis equate “Ace” with “purity culture” and subsequently pedophilia. Fuckin’ bonkers. The leaps people will take just to justify their own ignorance is absolutely mind-boggling.

Queer means non-normative, which means “No, John Doe, you’re not gonna understand what it is to be ace. To be the weird friend who hears our pan and straight besties go bonkers over some dude and just shrug, unable to join/relate to the conversation. It’s queer to be ace.”

I don’t understand any of the hate that queer and kink gets. Stop gate keeping. Life is a series of experiences, and you don’t get to tell anyone what theirs is when you’re not living it and it isn’t harming you.

What it boils down to at the end of the day is that people need to feel justified in their morality. My aunt has two kids. The younger child is autistic to the degree of not really being able to live on his own. Didn’t say his first words until school. Her elder daughter was recently diagnosed autistic. She decided to tell her mom this.

But the mom called her a liar. Said she couldn’t possibly be autistic.

And it’s because she has always treated her daughter like shit (my grandparents raised her for most of her life given that my aunt was a teen mom) and if she was now autistic, then all this work and energy and time and money she’s put into making sure her son is taken care of and spoiled and always happy is no longer a valid gauge for her morality.

Because now she would have to admit she’s a shitty person.

“Look at how well I treat my autistic son” is now contradicted with “But look how shitty I treat my autistic daughter.”

Aphobia stems from “Look how inclusive I am about people’s sexuality” with the caveat of “But if you don’t have a “sexuality,” I can’t defend you because love is love and you’re telling me you’re not defined that way uwu.”

Rather than taking a look and figuring out why they react that way to aroace people, they just double down on shitty behavior.

Literally the same shit MAGA people and TERFs do.

Bah.

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 104

My Bloody Valentine

How am I supposed to watch this episode without the constant thought of "there he is, the world's first almost-closeted-straight person"?

"My Bloody Valentine"

Plot Description: Castiel helps Sam and Dean hunt down Cupid on Valentine's Day after people begin killing each other for love.

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes?: Being aroace has its advantages, goddamn. Yeah. Yeah, I survive. Because I can't imagine myself FOR REAL being put in this kind of situation

You know it's bad when it even grosses out one of the Winchesters.

See. This is how I know for a fact that I'm ace. So, the girl from the first five minutes (ignoring the patriarchal shit that goes along with it), according to her friend/maybe roommate, still had her promise ring and never engaged in premarital sex. And while the friend is like "still don't know how she did it...or didn't do it" I'm sitting here like "it's not that difficult. It's really not."

Wow. I'm...the woman was too stunned to speak. Okay, not really. But...Dean having referred to Valentine's Day as "Unattached Drifter Christmas" in the past sure is something. And Sam's concern that Dean not wanting to participate in his usual VDay antics is akin to a dog not wanting to eat. But like...Sam you went to the victim's house not the coroner. If I knew there was anything like that goin around, I wouldn't want to be pursuing anything either, ace or not.

I'm...this woman just shot her boyfriend's boss because the boyfriend didn't show up on time for their date. WHAT THE FUCK IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING???

Why's Sam staring down that dude?

THERE HE ISSSSSS, THE WORLD'S FIRST ALMOST-CLOSETED-STRAIGHT PERSON

I can never get enough of Dean trying to wrap his head around a situation and Cas coming in to refute one singular detail. Makes my life so much better.

What was that LOOK, Dean? "A cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him before he kills again" "Of course we do" followed by

THIS LOOK!!!! What is that, Dean???

I can stand by and accept Dean not wanting to Gino it and get laid even on Valentine’s Day, but not even wanting to eat a burger????? Now that’s too far

I'm also concerned about Cas grabbing Dean's burger TO eat

I...could not have come back to a more ridiculous episode. This scene with the cupid/cherub/whatever you want to call it...I'm just. I mean, it did take me just a hair too long to realize that the implication was that he is fully naked. So, the discomfort in the room here (on the part of both Winchesters and Cas) is...I couldn't have planned this nor could I have planned this better

Ooooo, it's that guy again. Oh, Sammy, you're in the danger zone. RESIST DRINKING THE DEMON BLOOD, SAM.

I figured we were getting another of the four horsemen from the preview, but why didn't I realize it'd be famine? o.m.g.

Oh shit, dude can eat DEMONS, TOO??

So, is Dean just unaffected or just YET TO BE affected? Cas is eating sliders like there's no tomorrow and Sam's craving demon blood in ways he hasn't all season. I'm...I'm not prepared to see what could happen to Dean.

This had to be either one of the best or worst days of Misha's life on set. The NUMBER OF BURGERS HE'S HAD TO EAT ON SCREEN AND SAY HIS LINES THROUGH

I can't believe Cas had the AUDACITY to ask Dean if he though of himself as well adjusted.

(God...I want a burger so badly now)

Sammmmmmm, no, you were doing so good, buddy. But I forgive you for this one because this truly isn't you. This IS famine.

Dude, Dean, he JUST left. Oh, good lord. Okay, you were right. Didn't REALLY need to see him eating raw ground beef out of a pan, but it gets the point across

Dean's so sassy at the most inopportune times. I love him for it. But I also know I'm about to be devastated by whatever famine's about to say to him...why Dean doesn't hunger like everyone else in this town.

I was right. Well, I was mostly right. The longer famine talked, the less effective it became, but essentially there is a void inside Dean that nothing could ever possibly fill, so what's the point of hungering for anything? (But then famine had to go and say "inside, you're already dead" which just killed how painful it was)

I have this weird feeling that, since Sam didn't kill the demons and allowing famine to eat their souls (real sentences you type when you watch supernatural), we're gonna get a scene like in Night at the Museum when Dick Van Dyke becomes an ass-kicking old man for reasons...or not. Sam's just gonna drag out all the demon souls famine just ate using his psychic powers (more real sentences of things that actually happen in this show)

Oh...oh, Dean...I need to hug him

"Been On My Mind...": No, but because I have absolutely no idea where we were in the countdown, I'm just gonna put it at 9

[cobble-stone]

🔥 - How has the way you think about yourself changed since you realized you were queer?

🌼 - If you used any other labels before your current one, what were they?

🌾 - How queer do you think you look? Would it be obvious to someone that you were queer if they looked at you?

🌱 - How would your younger self act if your current self told them they were queer?

💙 - When you first learned about the Queer community, did you immediately realize ‘That’s me!’ Or did you consider yourself a ‘really good ally’ for some time?

🔥: When I first figured out that I was queer it kinda like- it was very much a “ah. so that’s why Things Are the way they Are,” with the way they Are being the reason i felt so- other, to everyone else. I later figured out the reason for said othered feeling was actually because i was autistic. Figuring out I was trans was more- it was a lot harder and not an immediate “yes that’s me,” and while there’s been difficult parts, it’s largely been a very good thing for me. I started putting more effort into how I look/present because I wasn’t just completely apathetic towards my appearance, I actually- had ways that I wanted to look and realized I could feel happy in my appearance instead of just trying my best to ignore it

🌼: I identified as a lesbian for like….three? Years? From when I was 12 until I was 15. It turns out I was not a lesbian, I just didn’t want a romantic relationship where I was “the woman,” which meant even just the thought of dating men was very uncomfortable for me. I started questioning my gender properly when I was 15, and realized I was nonbinary. I just identified as gay and nonbinary but like gay in the “every attraction I experience is gay” way. Now I’m just unlabeled and a trans man, I’ve tried finding labels but like- nothing fits? I’ve tested out identifying as aroace, as gay, as bi, as combinations, and like. I’ve just come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter sexuality is a social construct I can just do whatever. I have no canonical sexuality feel free to impose whatever headcanons you want onto me as long as you know they aren’t canon

🌾: I used to look a lot more queer, but I decided to go mostly stealth at college (I’ll tell people I’m trans if it’s relevant but like- most people just accept i’m just Some Guy), I was only really openly trans in high school because I had to be in order for people to know I was a guy. The dyed hair (I have an underbleach) and my general style is like- vaguely edgy. Like if someone diluted an alt kid. I don’t immediately look queer but I also don’t immediately look straight. I used to put in more effort but like I’m tired man I don’t want to get all dressed up just for class every day

🌱: I think if I told (deadname) or Blue that she turned out to be a guy she would be. Very confused. I was not a tomboy as a kid at all, I honestly had very little concept of gender or sexuality for a long time. It used to be kinda distressing for me and it was why I was hesitant to identify as a trans guy for a long time- it’s kinda the common stereotype for a trans person to always just know, and I didn’t just know. How I see it now is like- (deadname) and Blue are separate from who I am now, (deadname) and Blue weren’t a guy, but I, Cobalt, sure am.

💙: Kinda both! When I first realized I was queer it was cause I saw “women could kiss women,” took the Strange Discomfort at the idea of dating men, did the math wrong, and immediately went “ah yes. i’m a lesbian.” I then very much was “just a good ally” about trans people for three years, to the point where my logic was “I can’t possibly be trans, that’d be transphobic of me.” This was especially doubled because I was just starting to poke at my transgenderness right as the end of the truscum era of the trans community, and like- my general opinion was “everyone is valid regardless of their identity or dysphoria but *I* can’t be trans *I* don’t have dysphoria.” (despite the fact that i did have dysphoria, it just wasn’t the stereotype of dysphoria just being “overwhelmingly bad body dysphoria” so I thought I didn’t .”

[suavis]

Never interacting with ST tumblr ever again. Went to the tag after Vol 2 expecting to see posts about the episodes/s5 set up, instead I got

Death threats to Duffer Bros for not making by//er canon

People who don’t support by//er are homophobic

Horrible hate to Mileven fans

Duffer Bros are homophobic for killing Eddie bc “Eddie is gay & they killed him bc they didn’t like Stedd¡e”

We’re sick & tired of El, she shouldn’t be focused on in s5, instead Will & Mike

Mike’s speech to El is out of character, he doesn’t love her

El is boring & her abuse for her entire life isn’t comparable to Will, his unrequited love for Mike is worse than her torture

Mike should’ve died instead of Eddie & he’s homophobic to Will, Mike is the worst person in the show

I’m also not interacting with ST tumblr again bc of the white mlm fetishizers. Billy was clearly racist to Lucas & abusive to Max (I understand he was abused but that doesn’t excuse his racism and horrid treatment of Max) but yet Steve & Billy is a popular ship. If Lucas was white, we’d see more Lucas/Dustin. But we don’t. Women are also always pushed to the side for mlm ships, so many posts diminish El for by//er

LITERALLY you’ve encompassed everything i hate abt the fandom 💀 it’s never really surprising when fandoms only care abt bland white men they can hc as gay/bi and then fetishize but truly the attempted character assassination of multiple whole ass children bc they don’t play into their specific narratives they want is extra foul.

i thought st*ddie was cute in passing at first but then the fans and esp eddie fans started acting Like That and i was outta there 💀 ain’t no way they thought it was going to end any other way have the ever watched this show before??? like he was fun but ultimately he was just some guy that some ppl in this fandom care more abt than MAX who’s been around for three seasons now like make it make sense???? and same with billy stans they just choose to ignore full on racism like i saw one say they did believe he was racist but still liked him 💔 truly no saving them the way y’all will cape for random white men even if they’re racist and abusive…… ur not seeing heaven

and YES the way this fandom passes over the black characters (the very few that exist 🥴) is sooooo…. obvious truly. billy apologists are obviously the worst of em but. if will had been in love with lucas and he’d been acting like mike first of all there wouldn’t even be a quarter as many shipper and second lucas would have been eviscerated 💔 people’s priorities in this fandom could not be clearer tbh

and people’s hatred of eleven is so transparent 💀 if she wasn’t in the way of that certain ship nobody would give a fuck but instead they’ll say she’s just his beard, she’s aroace/lesbian (which obvi i support hcs like this wholeheartedly but when the ONLY purpose is to try to make it so she couldn’t possibly be attracted to mike and so now will can have him???? gtfo), she looks like a man (which is mentioned MULTIPLE times in the b*ler slideshow LMAO make it make sense….. i’m a woman with short hair does that make my gf straight???), etc.

also yeah their fixation specifically earlier on the fact that mike couldn’t say i love you to her and then when he finally did it was out of character/him projecting his feelings for will on her??? it’s disrespectful to the characters tbh like the way they characterize mike idek how they like him anymore considering how they seem to believe he’s manipulating eleven AND being an asshole to will while still being in love with him??? i have truly never seen a fandom so deluded over next to zero actual evidence but i wasn’t around in the days of tjlc so 💀 but i’m definitely seeing some similarities LMAO it’s bad like. i think EVERYONE can agree that will is into mike but b*lers seem to think that means mike is going to have to be into will too like. ik they’re still hung up on their middle school/high school straight best friends (or are still IN middle/high school with that straight best friend 💀) and want to think that he’ll get the happy ending they didn’t but. truly i do think will deserves better than this even if mike DOES return his feelings like. they would not be a good couple 💔 here’s to hoping will gets a bf in s5 and all the characters get to be happy for once and b*let fans finally shut up <3

[kitkat-the-muffin]

I wouldn’t call Romantic Killer “aphobic” or “acephobic”

More like “a-ignorant”

Like, they just don’t acknowledge aromanticism as a concept. You can’t say that something is homophobic if it has no gay people in it, so the same should go for aspec

I mean, it’s another story if a character straight up says “I hate gay people” and it’s treated like a good thing to say. That would be homophobic

But no one does that in Romantic Killer. Riri doesn’t acknowledge the possibility of being aroace because that’s their JOB. They were HIRED to force someone into a romantic relationship to improve Japan’s birth rate

Which is hilarious. Horrible, but hilarious. Whether she’s aroace or not, Anzu’s stuck in this situation and does not like it one bit, and as a panromantic asexual I find that hilarious

Of course, to aromantics it probably sounds like hell on Earth, which it is, especially to Anzu. She doesn’t want a romantic life and I love that for her, she deserves to choose for herself

All Riri’s scheming seemed to do is give her a found family with people that she wouldn’t have previously acknowledged with her nose stuffed in a game, or a cat, or a chocolate bar

And I love the prioritization of platonic love over romantic in the series. In fact, forced romanticism is villainized in the end via the stalker situation

I loved the show and I can’t wait to see more of it. I’m also confident that Anzu won’t end up with any of the guys anyway, so there’s nothing to worry about. As an asexual, watching this did not make me feel insulted in any way

I can’t speak for aromantics though. I’d love to hear some in-depth opinions from that point of view. Aromantics of tumblr please feel free to voice your opinion! I’d like to gain a better understanding of the aro perspective

[thebleedingeffect]

Couple hours late but here’s aro questions for you

2. 4. 5. 9. 15. 16. 25. 27. 32. 35. 38. 44. 45. 50. aaaand 53. :] enjoy

Oh my gosh so many!many!! YES yes I love oversharing and talking about aro stuff ty so much for giving me the opportunity and don't worry about it ^-^!

2. How would you describe your identity?

I'm pretty happy and content with the label of aroace agender to describe myself! Really I'm just vibing and gender is a mystery to me so that's just part of my identity now lmao

4. Are you romance favorable, neutral, or repulsed?

Oof, this one is slightly complicated but I would say I lean slightly more on the repulsed side as I just can't see myself ever being in a straight up romantic relationship and tbh, I don't want to SJSJSJ

5. What kind of attraction do you feel?

PLATONIC!! PLATONIC, with a little dash of queer platonic to spice things up but im a big old sucker for platonic affection and love over literally any over kind of love lmao. Call me your friend or just friend terms and I'll be falling over myself

9. What made you realize you were aspec/arospec?

Okay so, funny story about that, I unironically figured out that I was aro thanks to techno. I found it out cause I kept reading queer platonic em duo stuff and every time techno talked about his love for philza but zero romance attached to it I was just like....... Oh....... another thing is that weirdly the dsmp fandom is just the only one that I've ever seen actual aspec rep IN the fandom content itself

15. What made you realize you wanted a queer platonic relationship?

I think the one thing I do like in the idea of romance is the loyalty and commitment attached to it which is how I began wanting a queer platonic relationship. That type of love that feels like home but without the romantic expectation and just creating your own definition of love with your partner is the dream for me :]

16. What confuses you about typical romantic relationships?

So many things you have absolutely no idea. I've never really understood the whole physical longing thing and having someone take up all of your thoughts and decisions to a worrying degree. I've never got wanting to act in an idealized way so that your crush might like you cause what's the point? I've never got how love confessions are this big relationship changing thing cause I just don't care and never thought of romantic love as a concern. Grade school was hell man SJSJSJ

25. Are you good at flirting? Do you flirt often?

I don't really think I flirt?? Idk if compliments can be seen as flirting as I love being nice and complimenting people but I, don't think that's flirting?? Im hopeless at this whole flirting thing just throw me to the curb

27. Do you enjoy seeing romance irl/online/in media/etc.?

Irl it's kinda impossible to avoid romance so I've just gotten really good at ignoring it in that context! But in media and online? I'll fully admit that my romance repulsion comes out really hard and I don't like seeing or reading romantic content if I can help it. God the amount of blocked shipping tags that I have in my filters SJSJJS

32. Come up with the stupidest way to ask someone out, right now!

Hey baby wanna find out how I can make this heat wave even worse?

(was that good? I have absolutely no fucking idea SJSJSJS)

35. Do you enjoy valentine's day?

For the sweets and chocolates? Yes, for the romance? Oh god no, I always end up staying completely offline for that entire day cause I get so annoyed that it's just better for me to play video games or something sjsjsj I do enjoy the red, white, and pink aesthetic though, it's cute! ^-^

38. How many arospecs do you know irl/online?

Fun fact! My wife is actually on the aro spectrum herself! :DD I love her so much she found out she was aro a bit after me and its been great lmao. All in all I believe I only know two aro people overall? Which is a crime I need to make more aro friends but making friends is so hard sjsjsj

44. Do you have an aro ring? Do you want one?

I don't have one yet but I've been thinking about getting one! :D it's just a really pretty and lovely idea so I genuinely might do it, that is if my brain allows me to wear a ring lol

45. Do you have an ace ring? Do you want one?

Gonna get both so I can give the simultaneous finger to both sex and romance SHSHSJ

50. Any arospec headcanons

YES, LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Loz wise I strongly believe oot link and hyrule warriors link to be on the aro spectrum!! ^-^ I mean, oot link literally ignored a whole ass marriage proposal so hard that I half believe the fact Ruto was interested didn't even REGISTER. hw link is so extremely funny to me cause the IDEA of him being aro and being chased by an evil sorceress is the embodiment of my poor aro meow meow. He didn't ask for this, he didn't want it, he doesn't even understand what's the big deal about romance WHY is she destroying REALITY FOR IT!!!

53. What is the best part about being aro?

The relief of knowing that I don't have to force myself to find or force myself to pretend that I feel romantic love. The relief that I can be my genuine self and be happy in the different forms of love that bring me happiness instead of what society expects of me. The fact that I have a name to explain what I've been experiencing my entire life and the fact that people reflect my thoughts have brought me more comfort than you can imagine. It's the relief of knowing I don't have to act or sell myself for a nonexistent partner and instead pursue the queer love that I've always dreamed of. It's the fascination of exploring the very foundation of love and how I interpret it by having a complete absence of romantic love but so much love for other things. For me being aro is comfort, acceptance, and living with the fact that you are not lesser for not experiencing something that a large amount of people, it's finding happiness in that absence as it allows you to instead fill that space with what you choose to love. It's carving out a little space for that queer love whenever it arrives and it fits perfectly within all the other things you've given love to, so much so that you never even think of how you may be different or may never experience something that everyone else cause you're so incredibly happy with what you have! That you could never think or want anything else, that's what being aro is for me and I've been much happier with my identity ever since I realized that ^-^

[moonlightfilly]

(trying to fit what I wanted to say in the replies was killing me too sdkjfh)

Honestly! For all the author claims to have researched, the results are truly lack-luster. You can tell when they're out of their depth, because they can't properly talk about any of the issues they bring up in a natural, significant way. Even the feminist aspect of the comic seems lacking, with the author preferring to make it "women can do no wrong and men are always in the wrong" in this comic. Even if the women do something wrong the author either ignores it (or doesn't even understand they're wrong) or cooks up something worse the men can do to absolve the women (hello Veronica cheating on Nacho). Ethel never learns, the author never thinks she needs to, so it's all just... bad.

The aroace rep feels so badly done here... there seems to be no real understanding about what it's like to live as an aro/ace/aroace individual, not to mention the fact you can barely call it rep because it's hidden away so much. To villainize Jughead for things he did in high school (+most of those things are just from Ethel's POV), which turned out to be just him not being certain about his sexuality and being a confused teenager, and then not even talk empathetically about how he felt pressured by society to be straight or let him say the words aromantic asexual out loud?! Nothing about Jughead's story was his, it was almost exclusively told through the lens of all of the other characters, and even when he got to talk briefly about being aroace after being locked in a vault and forced to talk about it (yikes, and then the author had Jughead thank Trula for crossing his boundaries) it was still all about Ethel's feelings.

You'd think the multiple POVs on the "Jughead situation" would culminate in people realizing they made a lot of assumptions and harsh judgements without even asking the person they're talking about what's going on... but no. No learning moment. No acknowledgment that the situation wasn't as black and white as it was made out to be. No empathy shown towards aspecs trying to navigate an allonormative society, even when we could see how being aroace but not realizing it really weighed on Jughead in high school. His peers were all pressuring him to date, he's always blamed for "leading girls on", Ethel was constantly pursuing him which was very stressful to him, but not once does a character reflect on how their actions affected Jughead or even how their current treatment of Jughead has been unfair. The entire focus was on Ethel's hurt feelings that he ghosted her, to the point that even Jughead's coming out was motivated by the desire to make Ethel feel better. It was all about him begging for her forgiveness and there was nothing from Ethel's side. The blame for their conflict was firmly placed on him and his orientation, Ethel says they're good now (though she's back to not being good with him in s2 even though he doesn't know that), and that's all we get on the topic. I'm shocked that even his so-called best friend didn't care to understand his side of the story and jumped on the Jughead hate-train, and we still haven't seen him or any other character acknowledge they did anything wrong to Jughead. Like... is the conclusion really meant to just be "aspecs hurt allo people and they have to take accountability for that"? Yikes.

The author was so proud of themselves, posting the book on asexuality they were reading on instagram "for research" and then they didn't seem to take anything from it at all. When we finally got that scene in the vault and Jughead got to speak for himself a little it felt very 101 at best, aphobic at worst, and then the author didn't even let him state his identity out loud for some reason even though that would've been the moment to do so. And having Jughead say that people tell him "you just haven't met the right person" and then have the author immediately confirm that those people were right?? because Trula is his exception?? Mess. Of course he could be demi/gray, but the way all of this information was presented just made things feel like really bad barely passing rep, and I'll admit it's hard for me to trust the author's intentions in making a character that in previous iterations had no exceptions have one after how poorly they've handled the aspec topic. Making Trula in particular the exception also gives me the ick because she was literally the one trying to mess with his head to "fix him" (make him allo) in the original comics.

The author needs an editor and needs to do more reading on the subjects she wants to broach for real...

(Also yes to anybody else reading this read Jughead 2015!!)

Big Ethel Energy Season 2 Episode 19

Just diving into it today.

Overall, I feel like the webcomic continually tries and continually misses with its presentation of serious topics and in turn those topics feel shoe horned or surface level as I continue to read. Some topics are treated well, but I think the primary difference is that in those instances where the presentation is better, multiple pages are dedicated to the topic rather than a few speech bubbles. If the time or effort isn't going to put into the issues when they come up then I feel like it's meaningless for the webcomic to try to present them because it present such an unsubstantial surface level discussion or commentary on them.

This perspective isn't wrong, but Veronica didn't treat Tim like that at all. Perhaps it's the way I read the encounter between Tim and Veronica or if it was portrayed overtly. Veronica certainly had an abrasive attitude, but they both did during their first meeting.

Big Ethel Energy continues to shove perspectives down the readers throats and villainize characters without displaying them doing wrong or sticking to that characterization. At least make it apparent. Like if Veronica had stereotyped or perceived Tim in a myopic way because he was gay I would understand and agree with what Tim was saying in the context of the story and how it happened, but my issue is that their meeting didn't read like that to me. They were equally abrasive and snide with each other. It was on the same level.

He called her out on her history of bullying and she accepted that. If he called her out on any of her other wrongs like the body shaming or cheating I would have understood that. I understand Tim is doing all of this with the intentions of protective Ethel, but bringing this up without the meeting displaying it feels empty and feels like a failure on the part of the comic's presentation/display.

...I'm going to real I have no idea what Seth's ethnicity is because I don't think it was mentioned until now. I'm assuming he has an Indigenous American background because of the comment he makes here, but I'm honestly not sure because I don't believe it was mentioned until now. But I will be checking on that and editing the paragraph accordingly.

But I personally feel as if this exchange between Tim and Seth is clumsy and continues with with the pattern of the comic bringing up important topics and issues just for the sake of bringing them up, but never expanding upon them.

Big Ethel Energy continues to mention these important topics and perspectives, but the comic really does nothing with them. They feel shoe horned as I've repeatedly stated across my reading of the webcomic because the characters do nothing with them. I understand being stereotyped as a racial minority myself, it's a lived experience and at times it feels like you can do nothing about it in social situations, but having a couple characters talk about race and sexuality and the stereotyping that comes with these aspects of one's self when interacting with people and then having no real conclusion or message other than "We contain multitudes, bro!"

It feels simple? Shallow? A way to cut off the conversation with an easy and nice bow? I'm not sure how others are perceiving this moment. Like of course we contain multitudes. It just feels...way to simplified. Personally at least.

Other than that in this episode. I am glad someone finally said this because I wasn't sure if I was reading it correctly. The comic is pointing toward Seth and Ethel potentially being a thing.

Just considering Ethel's crush on Seth I wonder if the same issues/anxieties she expressed having with dating and that she solely associated with Jughead are going to come up again? If they don't I feel like her issues with dating were really more just issues with Jughead.

[kingofthewilderwest]

What's amatonormativity??

I’d encourage you to go to Google or check out tumblr tags and posts on amatonormativity to learn more!

Amatonormativity is the internalized cultural mindset that romance is default and central. It especially conceives of romance as the single most important relationship in someone’s life, to the point it should be focused upon and sought out above any other bond. It treats romance like the universal ultimate solution to any of our emotional bond problems (loneliness, intimacy, trust, support, longevity of relationships, etc.). Amatonormativity is heavily ingrained in many societies, like the mindset I find in people in the United States.

Of course romance isn’t a bad life experience! For many people, it can bring great joy. When people criticize amatonormativity, people aren’t criticizing that romance can be a great thing in someone’s life. The problem with amatonormativity is that it treats romance as the ULTIMATE thing, the ONE solution to our need for emotional fulfillment.

It’s important to understand that amatonormativity has profound negative side effects, whether you’re allo or aro, whether you’re queer or straight, and whatever gender you are. Society takes a lot of things for granted regarding romance and this can stunt our happiness. It stunts our ability to bond with other people around us or find satisfaction within our lives.

Amatonormativity underlies emotionally stunting assumptions like..... (disclaimer... I will often use language defaulting to the Western cishet perspective, because that’s the mindset of my broader society... I myself am an aroace enby and have more nuanced understandings of gender, gender expression, gender roles, sexual attraction and identity, romantic attraction and identity, etc.)

Automatically assuming that just because a man talks to a woman, the interaction MUST be romantic in nature (this of course intertwines with heteronormativity -- many of my points will intertwine with heteronormativity). It assumes there’s no such thing as “just friends” between people of “opposite” genders. This in turn can result in us losing opportunities to bond to, understand, or properly respect... literally half the human population.  

Treating friendships as secondary. Treating friendships as temporary. Treating friendships as more replaceable than romance. Treating friendships as less “deep” and important to our time than romance, even a romance you started two days ago with someone you met last week. By doing this, we lose the chance to grow deeper with someone near us. It limits the potential by which we can bond with another human soul and find happiness.  

The belief we are unlovable and not worth anything because we can’t find a romantic partner. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen people disregard their own worth because of this, and it makes me deeply sad. The truth is that our worth is not at all tied to whether we have a romantic partner. We can be so deeply loved and cherished in all sorts of relationships. Of course it’s still valid if you feel single blues because you want a romantic partner, but tying the concept into “I am worthless OR I’m dating” clearly is an emotionally harmful concept. It can result in everything down to hooking up in a relationship that you aren’t ready for or don’t like as much as you pretend you do.  

The belief that we are utterly alone without a romantic partner. I notice this often ties into the amatonormative belief that we can only get good physical touch, trust, emotional and physical intimacy, etc. through a romantic partner. I feel this mindset is especially pronounced in cishet men, since USA culture treats masculinity as lacking outwardly expressed vulnerability, and ergo you might not be getting your emotional needs met through your platonic and familial relations. The one “accepted” way of getting your emotional needs met comes through The Girlfriend / Wife. This belief prevents us from reaching out and finding support through other people in our lives. We can find love and comfort in friends. We can confide about our emotional struggles and find relational intimacy (great trust!) through familial and platonic bonds. Hugs, snuggling, other acts of physical affection are what humans need, and don’t need to be relegated to One Person Only. Plus... if we assume that our emotional struggles should be fulfilled by One Person Only... that puts enormous pressure on that partner to provide for everything. No one’s that strong. We need support networks, not one designated “save me” individual. It’s pure unhealthiness to mount burdens only on one person, and bottle yourself up otherwise. I often see this fallacy pop up when people start a new romantic relationship. You might barely know the person, and yet you’re trying to rely on them for everything, and you’re trying to be the person they’ll rely on for everything. You dive deep into the expectations before you really know how to handle it, and in the process become psychologically overwhelmed because of the Huge Responsibilities this role seems to entail. Being in a romance doesn’t automatically mean you’ve reached peak intimacy! Note: it’s not to say that romance can’t be a major avenue of security. Of course it’s a great way to fulfill intimacy, trust, physical needs, etc. Of course it can become a bond full of loyalty. But romance is actually like any other relationship... a familial relation can be weak or it can be strong, a platonic relation can be weak or it can be strong, and a romantic bond can be weak or it can be strong. The fallacy is that we are treating romance as *THE* way to fulfill all these diverse emotional problems, socking it onto one individual when it might be beyond their single load to bear, and then not seeking out help from the other sources that are around us.  

The belief that the only person you can live with is a romantic partner. Living with non-romantic roommates (aka living with friends) is seen as an undesirable inconvenience and something you only do temporarily because you financially have to. It’s seen as an immature youthful thing rather than something an established adult might do. Living with friends long-term out of chosen happiness is not something that crosses the mind of many people... it’s assumed you’ll either move out to live on your own, or marry and go and live with your partner.  

The belief that adulthood progresses through a very specific sequence of events. You go to school. You leave on your own. You marry. You get a house. You have kids. There’s a reason it’s common for family to nag you  “When are you going to get married? When are you going to get married?” Because clearly you haven’t made an important step of adulthood, an important step in life, unless you get married. I’ve noticed that for many of my friends, even those who are comfortable with the life choice to not get married... they express they don’t feel “as adult” as their married peers. And many people in society won’t treat them “as adult.”  

Harmful beliefs downplaying spousal abuse, like those people who try to argue “you can’t rape your wife / husband / spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend / significant enby / significant dumbass. That’s not what rape means.” Because a sexual-romance is the GOOD thing, right?  

AND MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

Some people of course have a better handle on their relationships than others. Some people are better at ignoring what society considers most important or most default. Some of what I’ve said above is when these beliefs are treated to their utmost, rather than what some people will do (lots of people have close “besties”, for instance). But amatonormativity+heteronormativity creeps in everywhere in society.

It’s the reason why, in most Hollywood movies, the protagonist is a man and the main actress is his romantic partner. It’s the reason why these two characters might start a steamy romance even before they know each other well; who needs to write ACTUAL understanding between the two characters when they obviously are going to fall in love and fuck?

It’s the reason why advertisements are so sex-oriented (reminder note: society usually doesn’t distinguish sexual and romantic bonds). Advertisements try to make their product appealing by associating it to romance, the Ultimate Desirable. Here’s how to make you look hot so you can attract someone in a romantic-sexual relationship, because THAT’S the ultimate goal of life, right?

It’s embedded in linguistic expressions. If someone asks if you’re dating, you respond, “No, she’s only a friend.” Or. “No. We’re just friends.” Friendship is being treated as lesser. Breakups are treated as inevitably bad even if you choose to be friends afterwards -- because clearly being friends is “taking a step back”, right? Even the word “break up” -- oooo that’s bad sounding! (There have been multiple times I’ve ended romantic relationships where I’ve turned the phraseology on the head and told them it’s a step forward to better, happier, healthier, stronger bonds... and they had to think it through, because amatonormative society forgets this can be the case.) “Friendzoning” is seen as a crime in part because you’re not going to be as intimate with someone as you want to be... despite the fact that having a non-romantic and/or non-sexual relationship with someone could be JUST as meaningful and deep!

I’ve FREQUENTLY seen church study groups that offer only these options: young adult small groups, women’s small groups, men’s small groups, and married couple’s small groups. Because clearly the only “mixed” gender situations out there are when you’re too young to be married, or you’re married.

And frankly, I think it’s one of the reasons why fandom likes to play hook-up with all the characters. Shipping is SO much fun! I love shipping! This is not a comment against the act of shipping! But if everyone needs a romantic partner to be happy...... mmmmm.... yeah let’s rethink what the underlying assumption is here. It’s that default assumption that “romance=happiness, romance=ultimate goal, romance=happily ever after, friendship=lesser.” If two characters in a show don’t canonically hook up, fans can get angry... even if the relationship showed on screen is one with a lot of trust, loyalty, happiness, and intimacy.

I am aroace. I don’t know how many other friends in the aro and/or ace community have talked about how lonely and unhappy they feel, because all their friends around them are looking for sex and romance and ergo don’t treat their friendship deep enough for my friends to get their emotional needs met. It’s easy to feel left out in a world where everyone is looking for romance, and ergo you are never the bond they want to pursue.

There are many ways in which we can achieve close bonds with people. This is why I think it’s important to talk about amatonormativity. Again, I’m SO happy when my friends are happy in a good romance. That’s a good thing!!! But it’s so psychologically destructive, whether you’re aro or allo, to live in a world where romance is considered The One And Only Key to relational happiness.  

Talking about amatonormativity has the goal of helping us be aware about how society idolizes romance and/or sex. The goal is to help everyone know we have many options by which to pursue good, deep bonds in a variety of ways. The goal is to make sure we don’t treat romance as the only acceptable way to live. The goal is finding ways for humans to get our needs fulfilled healthily and widespreadly. The goal is to be more comfortable with and more accepting of people who don’t follow The One Righteous Path Of Required Romance, so that we can all be more comfortable with ourselves and the relations around us -- including being comfortable with our romances!