#people laugh at the 'different language culture shock' like it's supposed to be obvious right

[askshivanulegacy]

^^^ This. Like it sounds obvious, but shopping for simple daily necessities can quickly become a burden if you can't read the labels. You come home, drained from a day at work and discover you're never not at work because quick and easy stops are no longer quick and easy when you're navigating through a foreign environment 24/7.

You don't actually realize how difficult or draining that can be until you're there with nowhere to retreat to.

[httpjeon]

SEHEBON ― KTH (M.)

synopsis. you find yourself on izo huen, home to the sehebon. luckily for you, you've arrived at an interesting time.

pairing. taehyung/reader genre. angst, fluff, smut au. alien!au wordcount. 16,580 contents. Huge Dick Tae, cocky!tae, soft!tae, protective!tae, lowkey possessive!tae, human!kink, slight harrassment, dom/sub themes, size kink, size difference, sensitivity kink?, orgasm kink?, cunt slapping, breath play, dry humping, cunnilingus, fingering, cumflation, belly bulging, lowkey consent kink, unrealistic sex but it’s aliens what do u expect, lots of mention of humanity note. tae just wants to learn human things ):

blog masterlist. made of stardust masterlist.

© httpjeon 2020. do not repost, modify, or translate.

It had been a little over a half a year since your move to the Vela System of the Fanet IV Galaxy courtesy of the Interplanetary Relations Commission had begun. You were still adjusting to your new environment, Izo Huen being a vastly different place compared to Earth in terms of culture and climate.

"So, to wrap up the events of this past week," you shifted in your chair, staring into the lens of the camera you used to send reports to your superiors, "I met with the head of the Embassy for a dinner in order to meet the head of Izo Huen's military. The only way I can describe the whole interaction is...tense. Warrior Sehebon are truly another level of terrifying. Horrible burns across their bodies correlate with the information we had about their rituals. They wear the burns with pride, however ― a mark of bravery I suppose. The middle of the week was rather uneventful," you shifted in your seat, leaning over just out of frame to take a sip of your water. You stared at the arched ceiling, thinking of anything that could come to mind of importance to note. Outside your window, you could see people walking through the streets, laughing and chatting with one another.

"Oh!" you sat up straight again, "The monthly market came back once again. This time it was mostly vendors from Liana. They had the most amazing fruits I'd ever seen ― nothing like Earths. They were delicious too, so sweet. I wish I could send some back for everyone to be able to taste. You know," your gaze shifted out your window again, to the people bustling about, "Things got really hectic here in Fia recently, I don't know what it is. They're hanging banners up and there seems to have been an extreme increase in population of the city. I'm not completely sure what's going on."

After ending your weekly log and sending it to your fellow researchers on Earth, you downed the rest of your water and groaned. Izo Huen was sweltering hot, the two suns that hung in the sky upping the temperature past comfortable.

You couldn't wait for night to come, the freezing cold giving you a wonderful excuse to cuddle under the wool blankets.You decided to take a bath to pass the time, as it would be night in just a few hours. Plus, you desperately wanted to wash the days grime off your body.

By the time you woke up the next day, you were acutely aware of how incredibly loud it was outside. Shouts and cheers emanated from just outside your window. So with sleep-filled eyes you hurriedly dressed yourself and rushed out to see what the fuss was all about.When you stepped out of the door, you were shocked by the incredible crowd of people filling the streets.

Banners and streamers, even balloons, decorated every inch that could be covered. The alphabet was one you hadn't yet learned to decipher so the meanings were completely lost on you.

"Excuse me?" you asked a nearby woman. She was much taller than you ― a key trait in both men and women of their race. She turned and looked down at you with surprise in her eyes, "What's going on?"

"It's the pre-celebration," she answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

She turned her back to you once again and quickly disappeared into the crowd and you sighed. Sehebon citizens were still getting used to their planet being visited by other races outside their own solar system ― they were the newest planet to be opened for visits by the Interplanetary Commission.

It unfortunately resulted in some of the citizens to hold ill feelings towards those entering their cities.

Sighing, you decided to follow the flow of the crowd to appease your own rabid curiosity. A lot of the cultural information on Sehebon had yet to be discovered or disclosed, as a race that held their own traditions close to their hearts.

You were surprised that the place everyone was flocking to was the massive Colosseum that was centered in the very middle of the city. Larger than any stadium found on Earth, you'd never had the opportunity to find out what it was for.

In your excitement to get through the crowd of large Sehebon, you stumbled over your own feet and hit the ground hard ― knocking the air out of you. The crowd didn't wait, stepping over you and for a second you were scared you would be literally crushed under a stampede.

However, strong hands grabbed your arms and lifted you up, grabbing your wrist and dragging you out of the crowd. You stumbled trying to catch up, with his large steps while trying not to end up slammed into unsuspecting people.

The person tugging you pulled you out of the crowd and rounding the stone walls until you realized the amount of people had dissipated. You had the opportunity to look at the person who had helped you ― a male Sehebon finding a safe spot for you and finally slowing down.

"I...thank you," you muttered when he didn't say anything, his back still facing you.

"You're a human right?" he asked, finally turning to you. You choked on your own spit at the sight of him ― black hair hanging over two pretty dark eyes. He was tall, probably a little above average for his race and he was absolutely gorgeous, "I heard there was one staying in Fia but...damn."

"Uh...I'm an advocate for the Interplanetary Commission," you sputtered out, unable to break your gaze away from his face. He had tanned skin, smooth as could be with a jaw so sharp it could cut glass, "I'm from Earth, yes. My name is _____."

"Incredible," he moved closer, having to lean down to look at you how he wanted. You could feel his breath on your face and you could see the way he had one mono-lid and one double ― which was absolutely adorable, "My name is Taehyung...you know, you're so...small."

"I-I'm actually quite average," you refuted, glancing away under the power of his gaze.

"Maybe by human standards but..." he straightened up, looking around, "You should be careful. You can get hurt easily, you're lucky I saw you fall and bothered to help you."

"Bothered..." you whispered with a soft scoff. You could still feel his eyes on you, burning into you as if he was analyzing every inch of you, "Hey, so what's going on anyway?"

"You don't know?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow when you shook your head.

"I asked someone and she just said it was a pre-celebration," you shrugged.

"Yeah sort of," Taehyung gnawed at the inside of his cheek, jaw cocking to one side at the action, "It's gonna be our lottery in a few days so we come to the stadium to get our tickets."

"Wait...lottery? Like a money thing?" you asked, "You guys have that?"

"What?" Taehyung shook his head, staring at you like you were stupid and you suddenly felt embarrassed.

"O-On Earth we have this thing called a lottery and...you scratch these little papers and you can win money," you explained, hoping to help him make sense of you assumption.

"Huh, that's interesting," he actually did seem interested and maybe a little impressed, making you feel weirdly proud, "But no, that's not what we have. Once a year the government holds a lottery here in Fia, in the stadium. You draw and if your number is picked you gotta fight."

His words made you blank out.

Fight?

They had to fight?

"What the hell?" you sputtered before you could stop yourself and Taehyung cocked his head to the side.

"Have you not read any of the banners and information sheets floating around?" he asked, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets, "They put them up to inform new visitors of what's going on, you know."

"I..." you cleared your throat, suddenly feeling embarrassed again, "Can't read the alphabet."

Taehyung went quiet for a minute before he snorted, beginning to laugh way too much for the simple problem you had. Your cheeks burned as he held his stomach, no doubt aching from how hard he was laughing.

"Oh my gosh!" he choked, wiping under his eyes, "Y-You're illiterate!"

"I am not illiterate!" you gasped, ears beginning to burn now at his accusation, "I-I just haven't had a need to read the alphabet! Since we speak the same language, you know?!"

"Okay, okay," he sniffled, finally calming down from his outburst. He looked down at you and cooed, placing his hand on your head, "Aw, don't-don't pout, I'm sorry. You're so cute!"

"St-Stop making fun of me!" you whined, petulantly stomping your foot which just made him coo more at you, calling you cute.

"I'm not making fun of you!" he argued, standing at his full height again, making you look up, "Isn't it only natural that I find the small little human girl cute? You're so...small."

"So you keep saying," you mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, "Are you going to go into the stadium?"

"Yeah, probably a little while later," he shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets, "It'll calm down soon enough and it'll be less hectic. You're welcome to wait with me, if you'd like."

"I might as well," you sighed, leaning back so you rested your shoulder against the wall, "I'll probably literally be killed if I try to go in there at this point."

"Probably," he agreed, looking away from you when you squinted up to glare at him, "Say..." He looked back at you, head cocked to the side curiously, "Is it true Earth has a lot of oceans? And only one Sun?"

"Eh? Yeah, that's right," you nodded, making him hum, "You've never been to Earth?"

"Nah, can't afford to make that trip," he sighed, sliding down the side of the wall to sit on the ground, "I read about it when the news that we'd be open for visits from them, though. Here sit," he tugged your hand until you were finally sitting beside him.

"About this...fight," his head lulled to the side as he gazed at your through his lashes, "What...why do you guys do it? How's it work?"

"Well," he rested his hands on his bent knees, head resting against the wall behind him again, "You know majority of our planet is uninhabitable right?"

"Yeah, dominated by deadly deserts that will kill even Sehebon," you replied mechanically, having studied their landscape immensely on your voyage from Earth.

"Then you also know there's only a few, select places suitable for us to live," you nodded and he continued, "We have three cities on Izu Huen, Fia our capitol, Veles, and Holis. That isn't a lot of room for an entire planet to live, right? We have to stay within the habitable zone and fit every person on the planet in the cities. Excluding those that have the means to move to Vimoldara, that is. That's a lot of people, isn't it?"

"Wait," you sat up straighter, jaw dropping open, "You mean, it's a form of population control?"

"That and," his gaze turned much darker, sending a chill up your spine, "It's a chance for us to show each other how strong we are. That we're the best and we deserve to live, we offer more. Those who lose are killed and only the winner can stand."

"That's..." you cleared your throat uncomfortably, "That's scary."

"Not for us," Taehyung shrugged, casting a sideways glance your way, "It's a celebration. We're all excited and ready to do it. We get to make our families and ancestors proud as we fight."

You hummed, still weary of the lottery but kept the rest of your opinions to yourself. You and Taehyung dissolved into talking about things he was curious about on Earth, deciding it would be worth it to travel there simply after hearing what a cheeseburger was.

The suns began to set when Taehyung stood, helping you to your feet.

"We should be able to get in easily now," you followed him to the large entrance that you'd been unable to see past when you had first approached.

With the smaller influx of people, you could see fully inside the stadium. There were banners and decorations strewn about everywhere, a wash of white, red and black colors seeming to be the theme. In the very center of the stadium was a booth with a man standing inside, handing things out to the people in line.

"I hope he doesn't think I'm here to pick a lottery," you mumbled to yourself as you stood in line with Taehyung. He was still holding onto your hand as you waited, large fingers wrapping completely around your wrist, making the size difference more apparent.

He really was right when he said you were small. But his hand was so warm and comforting against your skin that it made you feel...cute.

"Nah, they won't assume a foreigner is here to participate," he said, not breaking his gaze from the booth.

By the time you reached the booth, the suns were down to just peeking over the horizon and the moon was, instead, shining large in the sky. The temperature was dropping and you couldn't help but move closer to Taehyung for warmth. You weren’t dressed to be out at night, you’d only anticipated spending the daytime hours out.

"Thank you," he said, tucking a slip of paper into his pocket after folding it up. The man behind the booth nodded, waving the next person forwards.

He began to walk when he paused, looking down at you with wide eyes. You scrambled to detach yourself from his side, not realizing just how close you were to him. However, you were quickly brought back when he pulled you flush against him again with a small smile.

"You humans are so fragile," he breathed, beginning walk, keeping you tucked into his side. Your face was burning with embarrassment but you also felt a strange sense of pride flowing through you at the prospect of such a good looking man treating you like he was.

"I-It just gets really cold here, you know?" you mumbled, trying to defend yourself albeit weakly.

His chest vibrated with his laughter, tightening his hold around your shoulders, "I guess if you're not used to it. You live around here?"

"Uh yeah," you pointed in the general direction of where you were staying, "I live down this road a ways."

"Alright, I'll walk you there," he offered, though he left no option to refuse.

You both fell silent as you walked, every once in a while another person would pass and stare at the two of you. Their eyes followed you even as you passed, turning back to stare at you and you began to feel strange about it.

"Why is everyone looking at us like that?" you asked suddenly, making him look down. The moonlight cast a soft glow on his face causing the shadow of his lashes to dust his cheeks.

"Probably because you're a human and you're with me," he answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "It's not exactly common for Sehebon and foreigners to be together yet."

You swallowed thickly, cheeks burning for the thousandth time that day it seemed.

It wasn't long before you reached the stoop of your house and you dislodged yourself from Taehyung, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep in the warmth you now missed.

"Um thanks for walking me home," you said, shrugging your shoulders self-consciously as his eyes scanned over your body.

"It was my pleasure," he leaned closer to you, "Hey, why don't you come to the celebration in a couple days, hm?"

"You mean the fighting?" you asked, feeling uneasy at the invitation. He nodded eagerly, eyes bright in excitement, "Taehyung, I do understand it's an important practice for you...it's your culture. But humans and Earth...it's punishable to kill someone. It's against the law. We find the concept of death scary...you know?"

His head cocked to the side, brows furrowed and the excitement in his eyes gone, "You're scared to die? And you don't like to see others die?"

"Exactly, it's...it's a very negative thing for humans," you attempted to explain while trying not to upset him.

"You know being invited to a fight is a very special thing," he muttered with a frown, leaning close to you so his nose was touching yours. Your eyes grew wide at the fire burning in his eyes and you swallowed nervously, "It's very offensive to reject an invitation to a fight. I want to show you how good I am, how well I can fight. I want you to be proud of me. Impressed by me."

Your mouth grew dry at his words and the way he uttered them, deep voice dark and no hint of the gentleness he had spoken with before. You attempted to move back but found your back pressed against the door. He loomed over you, leaning on his forearms above your head ― caging you in. Strangely, the only thing you could think of was how good he smelled; like the fruits you'd eaten a couple days ago.

"I-I'm sorry, Taehyung," you whispered, licking your lips in an effort to rid yourself of your nerves, "I just...Y-You don't need to kill someone t-to impress me, you know?"

"Then how can I?" he squinted, "I find you fascinating. A cute little human girl, smart and charming. I want to...what is it you humans call it...court you?"

You wanted to smile at the sound of the outdated term he used. But it was stopped by his confession, of what he thought of you.

"W-Well...you're trying to court a human girl..." you spoke slowly, meeting his eyes in faux confidence even though your heart was beating a mile a minute, "Why don't you try...a human method?"

"A human method," he gnawed on the inside of his cheek ― apparently a habit he had while thinking, "What are human methods?"

"Well um..." you noticed that with his body covering yours like it was, you weren't affected by the cold and that your trembles were no doubt excitement, "Like...dates. Do you guys have dates?"

"Usually an invitation to fight for someone to see is sufficient enough to begin a relationship," he explained, making you sigh. He frowned at the sound and leaned closer to you to meet your gaze, "Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"F-For humans usually a man will ask a woman on a date," you explained simply, "Like...you would ask to take me to see a movie or take me to dinner."

"A dinner," he repeated, seeming to mull it over for a moment before nodding. The dark look was gone and he smiled the cutest boxy smile you'd ever seen in your life, "Then I'd like to take you to dinner, _____."

"I'd like that, Taehyung," you smiled, feeling your cheeks burn under his soft gaze.

"After my fight, to celebrate my win I'll take you."

"Alright, Taehyung, I look forward to it," after what seemed like an eternity, his eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes, he finally stood up straight. The cold immediately began to sink into your bones and he stepped back off your stoop.

"See you soon, cutie," he waved, twiddling his fingers before spinning on his heel and walking in the direction you both had just came from.

You opened your front door, slipping inside and relaxing once the warmth hit you. Leaning back against the door, you pressed your hand to your chest and sighed.

"Not how I expected my day to turn out," you mumbled, taking a seat at your chair in front of the camera, turning it on so the red light blinked indicating recording, "I know it hasn't been a week yet but I've found something interesting. I met a man named Taehyung and he told that they're about to begin a planet-wide lottery. Everyone draws a number and they're picked to fight. It's a...form of population control and some kind of cultural flex on each other to show who is the toughest and bravest. The fights are set to take place in a few days and I was invited but...I had to decline. The prospect of watching it was just too much for me to consider so I apologize for that."

You went quiet for a second, deciding to leave out the fact that the invitation was an attempt to ask you out. You greeted the people who would be watched goodbye and shut off the camera, turning to your computer monitor and hurriedly sending the video before shutting everything down.

The city was quiet for the next few days, everyone packed into the stadium. You would frequently hear the thunderous roar of the crowd but ultimately did your best to block out the prospect of the death no doubt going on.

You laid on your bed, reading a book you'd read several times already but lacked the means to acquire a new one. You wouldn't be able to read the books in an alphabet you couldn't read. Though you could take the time to learn but, you were in no mood to study.

As expected, you found yourself thinking of Taehyung. He was charming, no doubt, and you were surprised by how much you ultimately enjoyed his company. It was quick that he decided he wanted to date you, by human standards anyway, but Sehebon were very fast-moving people as more than half their race were warriors who could be killed in the blink of an eye. No doubt a cause for Taehyung's rush to be with you.

You couldn't deny the complete attraction you had for him; he was incredibly good looking and had the cutest smile. His voice was hypnotic, smooth as whiskey and as deep as the ocean. Dating someone of a completely different species wasn't the strangest thing by far ― plenty of humans had counterparts from different races. Dating a Sehebon, on the other hand, was different since the brand new introduction of their race to humans.

There was no fear that Taehyung would bring you any harm or have ill intentions, there was just a lot of confusion about him. You didn't exactly know much about who he was as a person rather than his race.

The date would no doubt clear things up and open doors for you.

Remembering the fact you would be going on a date with him set butterflies off in your tummy and you bit your lip to hold back the gleeful grin that threatened to spread across your face.

It was a full week before the streets became the same again. The population of Fia went back to normal as visitors from other cities left and went back home. The banners were taken down from around your street and before long everything seemed to have returned to the way it was.

Unfortunately, you were running out of food so you needed to go food shopping. As the suns were beginning to set, with the temperature steadily dropping, is when you decided to go shopping.

You slid a sweater on to keep you warm before stepping out the door. It was still a little warm but you knew you'd be grateful for your choice later.

In the past, you'd made the mistake of forgoing something warm and had to quite literally run home before you froze to death.

You carried a bag, an effect from when you lived on Earth and refused to use plastic bags in fear they'd end up in the oceans. When you first presented the bag at the local grocers, the cashier had looked at you like you were stupid ― making you feel just a tad self-conscious.

Fortunately, they'd now grown used to your practice and barely batted an eye in response when you brought.

The shop wasn't busy during that time of day and you were thankful to be able to navigate the aisles without having to avoid the giant Sehebon people that easily blocked your shelf access. You packed your bag with things you were vaguely familiar with. There was a lot of food you didn't dare try ― you couldn't read what it said or it was just gross looking.

Unfortunately, however, the shelves were so damn tall that you sometimes had to scale them to actually reach the things you needed. Standing on your tippy-toes using one of the shelves to grab a simple box of noodles ― something you were very pleased to find on Izo Huen.

You chose a lot of fruits and vegetables ― trusting them more than their alien-meats. You were basically the alien version of a vegetarian at that point.

When you stepped outside, you were immediately grateful of the sweater you wore. The cold still seemed to seep in a bit but it was tolerable despite the light shivers that took you. Carrying your bag, you hummed a tune to yourself as you navigated the darkening streets. The lamps were lit to illuminate your way but there were no other people in sight, making you feel calm.

"Hey, you a human?" scratch that, there were people.

You paused, looking into an alleyway separating two residential streets. A small group of young men were smoking cigarettes. Part of you wondered if they were cigarettes or some Izo Huen-version.

"Yes I'm a human," you replied, pulling your bag off your shoulder to hold it in front of you.

"You want a hit?" one of them asked you, offering you what he was smoking off of.

"N-No thank you," you backed away slightly to get away from the smoke emanating off the burning end, "I really should be getting home...I have things to put away."

You turned to walk away but a hand aggressively gripped your arm to stop you, startling a gasp out of you.

"Hey, that hurts," you mumbled, attempting to tug your arm free but he tugged you closer to him, "Let go!"

Before he had the chance to speak, a hand was violently wrapped around his throat and slammed him back. He pulled you with him slightly, knocking you to the ground as the man was pinned to the wall. Looking up, you could see Taehyung leaning close to him ― whispering something that had the man's eyes widening.

"Do you understand?" Taehyung growled, loud enough for you to hear. The man nodded so hard you were sure he was going to give himself a headache. Taehyung held him still for several more seconds, looking over him to make sure he was telling the truth.

When the man was dropped, he took off down the alleyway with his friends following, none of them daring to look back.

"Are you alright?" he asked, crouching down to where you were sitting on the ground. He cupped your cheek ever so softly, thumb grazing beneath your eye, "I didn't mean for you to get knocked down."

"It's alright," you muttered, using his shoulders to pull yourself back to your feet. He remained crouched for a moment, just gazing up at you silently, "W-What is it?"

"You should be more careful, _____," he said, picking up the bag of groceries you had dropped, tucking some of the things that had been knocked out back in where they belonged, "Didn't I tell you that you could get hurt?"

"W-Well yes but that was different― "

"It wasn't," he snapped, moving close to you once again. Fingers hooked beneath your chin to make you look at him, "Don't you understand how much people want you? How they look at you when you walk around?"

"N-No..." you blinked as you tried to recall any staring while you were on your own.

"Everyone finds you alluring here, _____," Taehyung's voice dropped and he stepped even closer so your foreheads were just barely touching, "The cute little human girl. And I'd be very disappointed if I had to kill someone for hurting you."

You were speechless, lost staring in the fiery blaze within his eyes. He held your gaze for several seconds before stepping back and smiling.

"I'll walk you home, I was on my way to see you anyway," you sputtered in shock as he tugged your hand in the direction of your home ― his rapid change of demeanor no doubt going to give you whiplash.

Your feet pounded the pavement as you struggled to keep up with his large strides. You were running out of breath and stamina, though he appeared unaffected.

"T-Tae...can you s-slow down?" he halted in his tracks so suddenly that you fully ran into his back.

"What did you call me?" he looked over his shoulder, staring sharply down at you.

"I-I..." you pulled yourself away from his back and stuttered, "I called you Tae. I'm sorry i-it just slipped out...h-humans like to make n-nicknames, you know?"

He was quiet for a second before he turned around completely, cocking his head to the side.

"Say it again," he commanded.

"Uh...T-Tae?" the name sounded more awkward than it had before coming out of your mouth.

"Hmm," he made a noise akin to a moan, rolling his head back in response before looking down and smirking, "I like that. You're the only one allowed to call me that, yeah?"

"A-Alright," your heart was racing from the way he had reacted to the nickname but you didn't get to dwell on it long before he was tugging you along once again.

You stood on your stoop again, looking at Taehyung, a small smile on his lips as he watched you. He held your bag of groceries out for you and you had to hold back a gasp when your hand brushed his.

"Shit, your hands are freezing!" he gasped, taking one of your hands in his and bringing them closer to him.

"U-Uh yeah it's...pretty cold," your words came out a whisper, reveling in how warm his hands were against yours.

"Poor thing," your eyes widened as he pulled your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against your fingers.

"T-Tae," the nickname had his eyes flicking up and he hummed, pressing another kiss against them.

"Did you like that?" he dropped your hand from his lips but continued to hold it, smiling at you, "I read in a book about common human practices for courting and it said a kiss to the hand will make her heart flutter. Did it work?"

"I..." you swallowed thickly, nodding your head ever so slightly, "I-It was nice, Tae..."

The two of you fell quiet, his hand enveloping yours and his soft gaze fixated on you. Your groceries hung in his free hand and he slowly reached out to hand them to you once again. Once the bag was in your hands, he released your hand from his hold and shoved his own into his pockets. He stepped backwards off the stoop but continued to stare at you, bottom lip tucked in his mouth.

Your eyes danced over his body ― never really looking him over that much besides his face. He had a black button-up tucked into tight fitting jeans and boots that made him even taller than he already was. It surprised you how thick his thighs were but how small his waist was ― it's like he was sculpted by actual gods.

"Well," he smirked, no doubt having caught you staring, "See you around, cutie."

"Hey, Tae wait!" you called before you could stop yourself.

He halted immediately, turning to look at you once again, "You alright?"

"I just..." he jogged back to the stoop, stepping up and moving close to yours.

He cupped your chin between his fingers and made you look up at him.

"You can tell me, sweetheart," his brows were drawn together in concern.

The pet name causing a shiver to go down your spine, "What is it?"

"C-Can...Would you...like to stay for a while?" your cheeks were on fire and you couldn't meet his gaze after whispering the words.

Taehyung's eyes softened and his lips quirked up, running his thumb over your lips for a split second ― so light you almost missed it. He stood up straighter, removing his fingers from your face. You found yourself missing the touch and your heart was pounding at the possible rejection you could face.

"Were you nervous to ask me that, baby?" your core lit on fire at the new pet name and you held in a whimper, "I'd love to stay with you."

"O-Okay..." you reached behind you, turning the knob and pushing the door open.

Warmth hit you from the inside and you scurried out of Taehyung's view as fast as you could to the kitchen. You could hear him walking, the sound of his boots on the floor seeming deafening in the silence of the house. Leaning against the counter, you took a few deep breaths to steady yourself.

You began putting your groceries away in their designated places, noticing that Taehyung's footsteps had gone silent.

"This place given to you by your job?" he asked suddenly, making you jump.

"Um...yeah," you cleared your throat, "It's nothing special but it's cozy."

"It's nice," he muttered before falling silent.

You placed the box of noodles in your cabinet, steeling yourself before moving to the living room. Your brain nearly short-circuited at the sight before you.

Taehyung sat on your couch, legs spread wide and arms stretched out on the back of the couch. His head was tilted back, exposing beautiful expanse of throat. The way he sat was so confident and commanding that you had to clench your thighs together to control yourself.

"Um...are you okay?" you whispered, stepping forward as he lifted his head to look at you.

"I'm perfect," he responded, scooting to the side to allow you to sit beside him, "I think I've figured out a place to take you on our date."

"Oh?" you'd nearly forgotten about the date, "So you're ready to take me?"

"I'm thinking tomorrow, if that's okay," he looked down at you and you smiled.

"I'd love that," your gaze fell to your thighs, noticing the size difference between his and yours ― reminding you of how large he was.

Flicking your eyes up, you were frozen by the sharpness in his own as he stared at you. As you kept his gaze, you felt one of his hands find its way to your thigh and you bit your lip to keep from outright whimpering at the feeling.

"You're so soft," he muttered, shifting to turn more towards you, "And absolutely breathtaking..."

His lips drew closer to yours, his hair brushing your nose as he dipped down. When he pressed them completely, his hand tightened around your thigh. You whimpered, seeming to set Taehyung off as he cupped the back of your head with his free hand ― deepening the kiss.

Your hands clutched at the front of his shirt, losing yourself in the feeling of his lips and hands on you. The hand on your thigh traveled up, grazing your hip, drifting up your stomach and over your breasts before wrapping around your throat. You gasped at the feeling, lips parting from Taehyung's just slightly before you surged back forward to reconnect them.

He groaned against your lips, giving your neck the lightest squeeze before he released you and reached lower to cup your breast through your sweater. You arched your back into the muffled touch but he didn't linger for long because his hand was diving between your legs.

Your jeans impeded you from feeling his touch properly and you whimpered, grinding your hips forward in hopes to remedy the problem. You reached down, holding his hand against your core as you whimpered into his lips.

"Do you want me to touch you, pretty baby?" he asked, kiss parting until your lips just barely brushed his.

"P-Please Tae," you whimpered, feeling your eyes sting with tears of desperation ― having never wanted to be touched so badly in your life.

Taehyung didn't reconnect the kiss, instead he tilted your head back to press his lips to your neck. His long fingers unbuttoned your jeans and hurriedly tugged them off your hips until you finally reached down to pull them off completely, tossing them away.

The way you cried out when his hand cupped you again, this time through your panties, was nothing less than lewd. He tugged your thighs open further, one of them resting across his own, leaving you completely open to his fingers.

"Sound so pretty," he mumbled, teeth grazing your neck where he continued to mouth at you.

You wrapped one hand around his wrist, dragging his fingers up ever so slightly until you were able to push them past the band of your panties. He immediately took over, fingers diving between your folds to find just how wet you were for him. He groaned, pulling away from your neck to meet your gaze, his lips open just slightly as he brushed against your clit. Your hips twitched and you found yourself clinging to his arm as you whined.

"So sensitive, little one," he whispered, wrapping his free hand around your thigh to pull you even closer to him until you were completely in his lap with your back tucked to his chest.

"Tae..." you whispered, eyes fluttering closed when he began to press kisses to your shoulder ― the sweater not allowing you to feel it properly but enjoying it nonetheless.

"Yeah baby?" he cooed, resting his chin on your shoulder to watch his hand move beneath the fabric of your panties.

"C-Can..." you trailed off, feeling your cheeks burn and he tsked.

"Tell me what you want and I'll do it, baby," he assured, fingers now running across your folds without dipping between ― teasing you.

"Can you...take them off?" you asked, turning your head slightly to meet his gaze.

"If that's what you want," he pulled his hand out of your panties and you whimpered at the loss, making him chuckle, "So needy, huh?"

His thumbs hooked into the band and he pushed them down your thighs. You pulled your legs up to help him take them off ― tossing them off somewhere else to join your jeans. He gripped your knees, roughly tugging them open until your cunt was completely exposed to him ― glistening in the dim light and flushed swollen with your arousal.

"Fuck, babygirl..." he breathed, reaching down to run his fingertips through your parted folds, "Such a pretty little pussy, hm?"

Deep in your mind, you wondered where he learned such delicious dirty talk from ― seeing as he didn't even know the proper word for courting. The thought was completely wiped from your mind, however, when he used two fingers to spread your folds open. Your hole clenched around nothing and Taehyung let out a choked groan.

"St-Stop staring!" you whined, snapping your thighs closed around his hand.

Taehyung growled, wrapping his hand around your throat again and pulling the back of your head against his chest. You whimpered, eyes flicking up to briefly catch his glare. His jaw was set, glaring down at you with a gaze that made you feel incredible small.

"Spread your fucking legs," he ordered, tone making your eyes flutter slightly. When you hesitated to do as he said, he leaned closer until his mouth brushed your ear, "I said...spread your legs."

You whimpered, bottom lip trembling as you pouted, slowly opening your legs back up. Too slow for his liking, he jerked one open and pinned the other down until you were just as exposed as before. His hand cupped your entire core, middle finger sliding between the folds.

"That's more like it," he sighed, finally releasing your neck, "You better act right, baby, or else I'll have to punish you."

His words made you tremble, thighs twitching ever so slightly. He raised a brow at your reaction, an almost detached look coming across his face.

"Would you like that? To be punished?" when you only whimpered, he smirked, "I see...how would you like it, hm? To be choked until your lungs burn for air? Or maybe if I spanked your little cunt?"

"Tae..." you felt your hole clench, sending a gush of arousal to meet his fingers.

"Oh?" he chuckled, making you cheeks burn, "You'd like to be slapped, huh?"

Before you could even think up a reply from your foggy brain, a sharp pain right against your clit had you crying out. Your eyes found his face but he was watching as he smacked your cunt again. His fingers ran over your folds to soothe the sting and he laughed.

"Interesting..." he hummed, middle finger circling around your clit. Your eyes fluttered and your hips arched into the touch more.

His index and ring fingers spread your folds, his middle finger swirling over the hardened bud until you were moaning. He pulled the hood back, exposing it even more to his sensitive touches. Your eyes rolled back in your head and you choked out his name.

"Does that feel good?" he asked, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, "Does it feel nice to have your little clit touched?"

"Y-Yes!" you squeaked, reaching down to take hold of his wrist. Your body was practically vibrating as you trembled beneath the almost too much stimulation. Suddenly, his touch was gone and you were left still trembling with the remnants of his fingers lingering.

"It's alright," he cooed, wrapping one of his arms around you to hold you tighter against him, "I've got you, little one."

"Please, Tae," you begged, burying your face into his arm, thighs trembling still spread.

"What is it?" he asked, voice soft as silk.

"Your...Your fingers," you canted your hips up ever so slightly and he hummed.

"Want my fingers inside?" he asked, although he already knew before you nodded.

He hummed, two fingers finding your spasming entrance, coating them in your juices. You held your breath as he finally sunk them inside you, stretching you deliciously even though you were plenty wet enough. His fingers were big, filling you up nice and deep. Gasping against Taehyung's arm, you mindlessly ground your hips up as he slowly pulled them out. You didn't get to mourn their loss for long because he was quickly pushing them back in ― slick sounds accompanying the movement.

"You're so fucking tight," he muttered, "So small...Shit, how long has it been since you've been fucked, pretty girl?"

"Ah-Never..." you gasped, hand circling around his wrist as you squirmed.

His fingers paused, halfway inside and you whined, "You've never been with somebody?"

"N-No, Tae," you whined, using your hand on his wrist to push his fingers back inside, "J-Just you...only you!"

He cursed under his breath, wrapping his arm tighter around you before he began to finger fuck you wholeheartedly. The sounds pouring from your lips only spurred him on, your cunt tight like a vice around just two of his fingers.

"This little cunt won't ever be able to take my cock, sweetheart," he growled, crooking his fingers up to nail that little spot that made you sob, "I'm gonna be too big for you."

"W-Want it a-anyway, Tae," you cried, nails digging into his wrist. Tears welled up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks as your body was sent into overload.

"Yeah? Want me to fuck you open until you can't take anymore?" he groaned, "Watch your virgin cunt get stuffed full of a cock you simply can't handle...have you make those pretty noises while you cream all over me..."

His words seemed more self-indulgent than aimed at you but you whined and nodded anyway. His palm ground against your clit as his fingers filled you up so nice and you found yourself teetering on the edge.

"I-I'm gonna cum," you panted, thighs twitching erratically in response to your pleasure."Go ahead, cum for me," he commanded, groaning alongside you as you tightened up around his fingers.

"Tae! 'S so good..." you slurred, eyes closed as you buried your face in his arm to ride out the pleasure he was giving you.

"Coming so prettily, little one," he whispered into your ear, fingers beginning to slow as your orgasm died down, "You're such a good girl."

"Ah...Tae," you whimpered as he pulled his fingers from your still-clenching pussy, sensitivity hitting you like a brick wall. Your thighs clenched shut, trembling uncontrollably in the aftermath of the most pleasure you'd ever received.

Taehyung slid his cum-soaked fingers into his mouth, eyes rolling back at the taste of you on his tongue. His arm still held you tight as you continued to whimper against him.

"Taste so so good," he whispered, mostly to himself.

Once his digits were clean, he glanced down at you. It was clear you were still a bit overwhelmed and he cooed, shifting you in his lap until you were facing him. He pulled you into a hug and couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"Humans are so fragile," he whispered, "So overwhelmed...even that was too much for you, huh?"

You didn't respond, simply tucking your face away in his neck. You let your weight drop fully on his lap but froze immediately. You hadn't realized while you were being touched, how hard Taehyung's cock was against you but with a clear mind you could.

He was fucking big.

He chuckled darkly, lips finding your neck as he slowly made you grind against his covered length, "I told you, babygirl, I'm too big for your little pussy."

When you whined and tightened your grip on him, wanting to avoid the painful overstimulation, he simply chuckled. He let you cling to him and lay with him until your eyes fluttered shut ― sleep quickly and eagerly overcoming you.

Just as you sunk into darkness, you felt him press the softest of kisses against your forehead.

"My cute little human," he whispered, voice fading out as you finally fell asleep.

When you woke up, you were tucked cozily in your bed beneath your wool comforter. The sun was up and you groaned, kicking the blankets off as you grew warmer with every passing second.

You had on your sweater from yesterday and a pair of panties you hadn't been wearing. Looking beside you, you found the bed empty and sighed.

Despite yourself, you found yourself feeling disappointed he hadn't stayed the night. He had shown you such a sweet, caring side before you fell asleep. It had made your heart flutter, how he treated you so delicately yet used such a sharp tongue to fluster you.

"He's such a strange dude," you muttered, staring at the ceiling as you spread starfish on your bed.

There was a dull ache between your legs, reminding you of the night before. Feeling your cheeks flush, you sat up straight and hurriedly crawled out of bed intending to take a cold shower.

Drying your hair with a towel, you hunted around your closet for a cute outfit for the date. Briefly, you wondered if he was still planning to take you out. Excitement thrummed through your veins, a giddy smile lighting up your face and making your cheeks ache.

After choosing your outfit, you took a seat in front of the vanity you had set up. You had found a mirror at the monthly market a few ones back and decided it was the best purchase ever. You hadn't known mirrors were scarce on Izo Huen for whatever reason until you desperately needed one.

Deciding to leave your hair down, too lazy to try and make anything of it, you mindlessly spun around in your chair.

A strange feeling bubbled up in your chest that made your heart race. Leaning your head back against the back of the chair, you ran your hands over your face with a groan.

"I actually miss him," you scoffed, leaning forward to rest your head on your vanity counter, "What is wrong with me?"

The day seemed to drag on longer than any other as you waited for Taehyung to arrive. The heat hadn't even bothered you, your mind too muddled with thoughts of your date. You wondered if he would hold your hand and where he planned to take you.

As the sun finally sunk beneath the horizon, you were more antsy and began to pace your living room. Every once in a while, you'd glance out your window in hopes a passing man would be Taehyung. Unfortunately, you were mistaken every time.

Before long, you began to realize that he simply wasn't going to show up. You changed into your pajamas, rejection burning in your veins before sitting on your bed. The streetlights and the moon cast a decent glow around you.

Your feelings were hurt. You’d been stood up by an alien.

Your heart ached and you felt your eyes sting with unshed tears. You flopped over, covering your face with a pillow before screaming into it.

"What a jerk!" you shouted in the material.

By the time you went to sleep, your simmering anger gave way to pitiful dejection. Your eyes were wet with tears as you closed them.

He was polluting your mind, everywhere you went you found yourself hoping that he'd turn up around the next corner. You’d hoped he would come knocking on your door with a sheepish smile, apologizing.

Though as the days passed and you had seen neither hide nor hair of him, the prospect of an apology made you angry. You didn't want his stupid apology anymore.

A week lapsed and it was time, once again, for your weekly log.

Sitting in front of the camera, you sighed, "The...friend I had made seems to have disappeared. It's weird, I was perfectly content by myself but once he showed up and vanished ― it's made me lonely," you gnawed on your bottom lip before sighing, disappointment becoming a common feeling in your life by then, “Maybe I need to make some friends but...I can't explain it; the Sehebon are such a strange race that it feels like it's going to be really difficult to make friends. There's really nothing eventful that happened worth logging besides my own problems so...I'll sign off."

A couple clicks on your computer had the log sent. You'd be getting paid again soon, perhaps you'd be able to go out and find something to do for yourself. Maybe you'd hit the jackpot and find someone who would want to be your friend.

It felt childish, the need for friendship you had. But with Taehyung's absence, your loneliness was at an all time high.

It was beginning to get dark and you decided to say 'fuck it' and get dressed. You'd find something to do ― you hadn't really checked out nearly all the districts of Fia and you knew there were some popular places to hang out.

It was a long walk to the area they dubbed the Social District. The second you stepped onto the rowdy street, you were blown away by the flashing lights and heavy bass emanating from the various buildings.

They had their own clubs.

You suddenly felt out of place and awkward, weaving through the giant people blocking the streets as they talked with friends. It seemed like no one saw you, as if you were just invisible to them. You moved to the sidewalk, being able to squeeze by the people and avoid the large crowd that filled the street.

You slipped into a pub ― judging by the tables and bar. You couldn't read the sign but you still walked in anyway. It wasn't very crowded, a few tables still open. The vibe inside was much cooler and calmer and you felt yourself begin to relax.

Walking up the bar, you took a seat, grabbing a menu without thinking about it.

"God dammit," you muttered, staring at the alphabet you still couldn't read.

"Can I help you?" the tender asked, moving to stand in front of you.

"Uh...I can't read this," you admitted, feeling your cheeks burn.

"That's alright, what do you like?" she pulled the menu from your hands and looked over it herself.

"Do you have any good alcohol?" you slumped against the counter, chin resting in your hand.

She regarded you with furrowed brows, closing the menu, "You do know alcohol is poisonous, right?"

"Wait what?" your head snapped up and the woman laughed.

"Alcohol is poisonous to us. We don't drink it," she placed the menu back where you got it and smiled, "We have some Soda."

"You do?" you perked up at that, not tasting soda since you'd left Earth. You watched eagerly as she filled a glass with brown liquid, placing it in front of you.

"It's not...Earth's soda but it's basically the same," she smiled, "It's got seltzer and sugary syrup in it."

You thanked her before she was whisked away to take care of another customer, leaving you by yourself. You sipped out of the straw, sighing at the taste. It was slightly off compared to the soda you were used to but bubbling seltzer had you smiling.

"_____?" you jumped at the sound of your name, choking on your drink and erupting into a fit of coughing. A hand carefully patted your back until you calmed down, "Are you alright? I didn't mean to scare you."

"I-It's fine," you choked out, clearing your throat and swallowing a few times to rid the feeling. Your eyes flicked up to meet Taehyung's and you felt a frown fall over your face before you realized it, "Taehyung."

His brows furrowed at your using his full name but he didn't say anything, "I uh...didn't know you came around here."

"It's my first time," you muttered, turning back to sip on your drink. When you didn't offer another opening for a conversation he let out a sigh and slid up next to you between the vacant seat beside you. You didn't have any choice but to interact, seeing at he wasn't going to back off.

"I'm sorry I missed our...date," the word still sounded foreign on his tongue, "I had urgent business to attend to in Holis."

"You don't owe me anything Taehyung," you muttered, failing to mask the hurt in your voice.

He sighed again, "I had to go visit a friend of mine, he was stranded and couldn't get home on his own. I promise that's all it was, _____."

You sighed, feeling your hurt and anger soften. Turning to look at him, you opened your mouth to reply but were interrupted.

“Whoa, is this the little human?” a loud voice from behind you made you jump. Twisting around, you saw a large man with biceps so big his t-shirt was stretched taut, “Oh you are a cutie!”

“U-Um...hello,” you greeted timidly.

"Uh yeah," Taehyung smiled, placing his hand on your shoulder, "This is _____. And _____ this is Wonho."

"N-Nice to meet you," you held out your hand, gasping when he leaned down and pressed a kiss against your knuckles.

"It's my pleasure," you could hear Taehyung let out a long sigh, "Bartender, I'll take a Blue Ice please. I gotta take a leak," he muttered the last part to himself, fingers lingering on your shoulder before he disappeared.

"You drinking a soda?" Wonho asked, peering into your glass, "Mind if I have a sip?"

"I guess not," you shrugged, watching him wrap his hand around the glass and bring it to his lips.

He was good looking, you couldn't deny. He had cute ears that stuck out just slightly and pretty teeth as he grinned at you. You found yourself comparing him to Taehyung ― deducing Taehyung definitely set your heart racing the second you looked at him.

"You know," Wonho placed your glass back down in front of you, "I was surprised to hear Taehyung was fooling around with a little human. I never thought he'd be the type."

"What do you mean?" you asked, brows furrowing as you mindlessly stirred your drink with your straw.

"Well I just can't believe he's actually giving in to it," Wonho said, pulling out a menu to look over it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you muttered, quite blunt.

He seemed surprised, chuckling and waving his hand, "Just the whole human kink that's going on. You know, since humans have started coming here it's become like a game to see who can actually manage to bang one. Can't believe Taehyung managed to snag one."

Your eyes drifted to your glass, the ice melting in your soda ― watering it down. A human kink?

"So...I'm just a conquest?" you whispered, though you were sure Wonho didn't hear as he was ordering a drink.

So many things bubbled up inside you; anger, humiliation, shame. Humiliation at the fact you'd been used, shame over the fact you fell for it and were so close to giving in, and anger of the audacity he had to do such a thing to you. Tears stung your eyes and you bit your lip to hold them back.

"Oh man, that looks delicious," Taehyung groaned, grabbing his tall glass of blue drink and taking a sip.

"I'm leaving," you muttered, sliding off your stool and moving to walk away.

You were stopped by a hand grabbing your elbow. Taehyung stared at you, brows drawn together.

"You just got here," he muttered, obviously confused by your sudden change.

You scoffed, "I'm going home, Taehyung."

You snatched your arm out of his grip and stormed out the doors and onto the busy streets. You could vaguely hear your name being shouted but it was quickly covered by the noisiness of the people. Crossing your arms over your chest, you weaved through the bodies. Tears were burning your eyes but you held them back.

"Hey a human!" you heard someone shout but you didn't stop, "Why don't you come party?"

'The whole human kink.' Wonho's words echoed in your mind, making it harder to fight your tears. 'It's become a game to see who can bang one."

By the time you reached your front door, your jaw was aching with keeping your tears in. Slamming the door behind you, you immediately burst into tears ― bringing your hands up to cover your eyes with your sleeves. Sniffling, you dropped onto your couch and let your sobs out freely.

Hugging one of your throw pillows, you attempted to calm yourself down. Just as you were about to drift off to sleep, eyes fluttering against your will, there was a series of sharp knocks against your door. You didn't move, silently waiting to see if they'd go away.

Unfortunately, the knocks became harsher and more frantic. Deciding that they weren't going to go away, you stood up and dragged your feet to the door.

You already had a feeling who it was and you weren't wrong ― Taehyung standing on the other side. His fist was raised like he was going to knock again and his hair was a complete wreck. His shirt clung to him with sweat and his breathing was a little heavy.

"What do you want Taehyung?" you muttered, crossing your arms around yourself.

"You've been crying," he whispered, moving to step forward but stopped when you moved back, "I knew you were upset. What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"Don't!" you snapped, turning on your heel and storming into your house.

"What?" Taehyung whispered, closing the door gently behind him.

"Don't call me that," you said, keeping your back to him so he wouldn't see your tears.

It felt so nice to have him call you pet names so gently. But you remembered it was just a ruse to lure you in ― and it was so hard not to fall.

"Why not? I thought you liked being called that?" he sounded so confused and you could imagine he looked akin to a kicked puppy.

"Because it's not fair!" you shouted, finally turning around, "You can't just play those games with me because I'm a human, Taehyung!"

"I really...What are you talking about?" his voice was so soft, so gentle. He took a couple steps towards you, hands outstretched, "I'm not playing any games."

"Oh yeah?" you scoffed, wiping away a few stray tears from your cheeks, "Wonho told me about your disgusting kink! You don't care about me, you just wanted to be able to say you fucked a human!"

"Wh―" he stumbled over his words, irises desperately scanning over you, "That's not...true."

You scoffed, shaking your head., "You're so unfair, Taehyung." he cocked his head to the side curiously, "You made me like you and I trusted you. But you just...you really aren't any different from men on Earth, huh?"

"What do you mean? Of course I'm different!" he argued, his own eyes growing glassy, "I never lied to you, _____. I promise!"

"You just wanted to use me as a conquest, something to brag about," you breathing stuttered as you sobbed, "And I almost fell for it!"

"Would you listen to me?!" he snapped, suddenly moving and pinning you against the wall.

He was caging you in, scent overwhelming you and making more tears fall from your eyes. You refused to meet his gaze, even though you could feel his eyes burning into you. You sniffled, staring down at your cardigan sleeves that were functioning as sweater paws.

"I never once intended to use you like that," Taehyung growled, voice giving away his frustration, "Everything I have said and done for you is real and not because you're a human. I don't want you as a...a...conquest," the word sounded foreign on his tongue, "And I certainly am not like your pathetic human men on Earth. I am better in every single way."

"Taehyung..."

"Stop calling me that!" he snapped, making you jump, "I-I want you to call me Tae!"

"I don't think..." you shook your head.

"Why won't you believe me?" he sighed, voice going soft, "Is it really so easy to lose trust in me when I haven't even done anything? You heard my friend say some stupid nonsense a-and you're suddenly convinced I'm evil!"

When he put it like that, you felt silly. Your own insecurities caught up with you and you shifted awkwardly in your place against the wall. You sheepishly looked up to find him staring at you, eyes dark beneath his long bangs. They were damp from sweat and you swallowed thickly at how good he looked.

"I'm sorry Tae..." you mumbled, nibbling on your lip beneath his glare, "I just...I really like you and I don't want you to―

"Listen to me," he tilted your head up, making you look at him directly. His eyes were much softer now and your eyes felt hot once more, "I have no intention of hurting you. You can trust me, _____. I promise."

It felt like all self-control slipped through your fingers as you suddenly surged forward to press your lips against his. Standing on you tippy-toes, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He eagerly kissed you back, arms wrapping around you ― teeth nipping at your bottom lip to make you whine.

One of his hands traveled lower, cupping your ass and pulling you closer to him. You could feel his length hardened in his jeans ― and it was just as big as you remembered. It made you whimper, feeling him so hard against you. You squeaked when the floor was suddenly pulled out from beneath you and you found yourself pressed against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist, his weight supporting you.

You whined when his lips found your neck, trailing his lips over the sensitive skin beneath your ear. He smirked at the feeling of you shuddering against him.

"Are you wet for me, baby?" he asked against your skin. You whimpered and nodded, feeling your pussy clench and gush into your panties, "Do you want me to touch you? Tell me."

"Yes please, Tae," you begged, blushing when he chuckled at your desperation.

The wall was pulled out from behind you and you scrambled to hold onto him around his shoulders, "I got you," he reassured, turning to walk through the open doorway of your bedroom.

You were deposited onto your mattress, making you bounce slightly on it. Taehyung was covering your body once more, however, as he met your lips for another kiss. Resting his weight on one forearm beside your head, he used the other to push your shirt up.

Getting the hint, you pulled your cardigan off and tossed it off the side of the bed before tugging your shirt off as well. Taehyung groaned, his lips kissing the swell of your breast above your bra. His fingers trailed over your bra ― cupping you and sighing softly.

You were surprised by your own boldness as you reached behind you and unclipped your bra. Before you could tug it off, however, Taehyung pinned your arms above your head and growled.

"Why are you so eager?" he asked, making your blush further.

"I-I just want you to touch me..." you confessed, lashes fluttering when he leaned down to brush his lips against your lips once more.

"There's no rush, little one," he cooed, "I'm not going anywhere until I've made you cum for me."

You clenched your thighs with a whimper at the pressure in your core. He pulled off your bra, finally, tossing it away and sitting back to admire your body. You were laid out beneath him, breasts heaving in your arousal.

His head dipped down and you held your breath as he enveloped a perked nipple into his mouth. Your hands flew up to clutch at his hair, back arching. His teeth grazed the bud, and groaned at the way you whined.

"Fuck, you're so responsive to everything I do," he gasped, pulling his lips away from your nipple. His fingers found it and brushed his thumb nail over and you choked out a sob, "I love it so much..."

"T-Tae please!" you whined, arching your hips up.

"Alright, baby," he cooed, flicking the button of your jeans open and tugging them down. Your panties went with them but neither of you cared, "Look at that. So wet."

"Please touch me, Tae," you begged, spreading your legs wider around him.

"You ever been eaten out, sweetheart?" he asked, watching the way your breath stuttered at his question. When you didn't answer, he gave your cunt a swift smack. You cried out, clutching at the blankets desperately, "I asked you a question."

"N-No I've never― " you were cut off by his fingers sliding over your clit softly.

"Do you want to?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes, yes please, Tae!" you gasped, eyes wide when he shifted down the bed until his head was positioned over your core.

"So pretty, baby," he sighed, spreading your folds open to expose the pretty wet hole that clenched desperately around nothing.

Your mouth fell open, a stuttered breath escaping you when his tongue slid over your entrance up to your clit. He hummed, licking his lips to chase the taste. He looked like he was in heaven, swirling his tongue over your bud and chuckling when your whole body trembled.

"Love how you react to me," he whispered, mostly to himself. He tongued at your hole to taste your juices once more before dragging up to your clit once again, "I don't think I'll ever get enough of you."

"Tae!" you cried, tugging his hair harshly though he didn't seem to mind.

His lips wrapped around your clit, sucking the bud into his mouth. You keened, eyes rolling back into your head at the stimulation. You nearly screamed when you were suddenly filled with two long fingers.

"Fuck!" you cried, back arching. You abandoned your hold on his hand to wrap your hands beneath your knees ― keeping yourself open for him.

"Good girl," he praised, making you smile down at him.

He pressed a kiss against your thigh before diving down to take your clit into his mouth again. His fingers stretched you open, catching your g-spot every chance he got. He reached so deep inside you with just his fingers and you suddenly remembered how big his dick was. Just the thought of it had your walls clenching around his fingers. He groaned in response, the vibrations against your clit making your thighs twitch.

"A-Another finger, Tae, please," you begged, voice not above a whisper.

"Can you handle that, sweetheart? Your little cunt’s already stretched around two," he teased, his index finger beginning to nudge against your entrance.

"N-Need it," you gasped, "Need to take it for you cock."

His fingers froze and you felt him exhale sharply against your core ― as if the air had been punched out of him. Glancing down, you saw his jaw was clenched and his brows were furrowed.

"Don't say things like that, little girl," he growled, finally pushing the third finger into you, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Tae I― " your words died on your tongue when he enveloped your clit once again.

You felt stuffed with his fingers, the digits making your entrance stretch deliciously. You lost your grip on your knees and let them fall open once again. Taehyung's tongue danced over the sensitive nerves, eyes closed as he relished in having your cunt wrapped around his fingers. You were gushing, coating the digits in your juices and he couldn't wait to have them in his mouth.

"W-Wanna cum, Tae," you gasped, reaching above you to grip desperately at the pillow.

He reached up, pulling on one of your hands until you released the material. You felt your walls clench tight when he urged you to put your hands on his head.

He wanted you to pull at his hair.

Not one to reject such an offer, you tangled both your hands in the soft locks as he began to fuck you with his fingers eagerly. The wet noises were obscene, mixed with your moans made an incredible melody for Taehyung.

The fact he was the only one who had ever had you like that made his cock throb. His hips moved mindlessly against the bed beneath him to get some stimulation. His cock hurt in the confines of his jeans but he didn't dare try to pull it out.

Suddenly, your walls clenched tight and the grip on his hair began to sting the harder you pulled. Sobbing out his name, your entire body began to quake beneath him. The pleasure was overwhelming and you snapped your thighs closed around his head. He didn't pull away, however, keeping his lips attached to the throbbing bud through your orgasm ― milking every spectacular second until you were whimpering from overstimulation.

He gasped as he pulled away, sitting back on his heels before pulling his fingers out of you. He spread your folds, groaning at the way you gaped slightly from being stretched open. Sliding his soaked fingers into his mouth, his whole body trembled and he reached down to palm himself through his jeans.

The feeling of a smaller hand covering his had his eyes snapping open. He pulled his fingers out and stared down at you as you shyly palmed him through the material. He groaned, head falling back.

"C-Can I..." you trailed off, not quite sure what you were asking.

"I...I don't know..." he bit his lip, apprehensive.

"Please Tae?" you pouted, looking up at him through your lashes.

"Shit, alright," he whispered, switching your positions. He scooted up until his back rested against your headboard, shoving your pillows aside to make room for himself, "Come here. Sit on my lap, pretty girl."

Your hands were trembling as you did what you were asked, swinging your leg over his lap until you were straddling him. As you pressed your full weight on him, he tossed his head back in a groan. The pressure of you sitting on him felt spectacular.

Gripping his shoulders, you suddenly felt shy with his eyes on you. He gazed at your body on top of him like you were a goddess, hands drifting up your sides and cupping your breasts. Thumbing your nipples, he smiled crookedly when you shivered at the feeling. He cupped your cheeks, finally, and pulled you down for a soft kiss.

"Go ahead and grind on me, baby," he cooed, gripping your hips to urge you to move.

The first grind against him had him releasing the most beautiful moan that you felt yourself gush in response. His head leaned back against the headboard, watching through lidded eyes the way your cunt ground against his cock through his jeans. He wishes he could take it out and feel your wetness drip all over him ― to feel you cream against him as you came. He swallowed the urge down and continued to guide you.

"D-Does it feel good?" you asked, biting your lip as you watched his jaw tense as he held back his moans.

"So good, babygirl," he groaned, feeling his heart stutter when you proudly grinned down at him, "You're so fucking cute."

"D-Don't call me cute when I'm doing this," you hissed, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Doing what?" his head rolled against his shoulder and he smirked at you, "Go on and say it."

"No..." You whispered, clutching his shirt. Leaning forward, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close.

"Why so shy, little one?" he chuckled, kissing your temple and trailing his hand up your back before cupping the back of your head, "Grinding your wet little cunt against me like this...wanting to make me cum. And you want to act shy?"

You whimpered, gasping into his ear so prettily that he shuddered. He felt his orgasm coming and he groaned through clenched teeth.

"Close..." he whispered, fingers digging into the soft skin of your waist while he other clenched in your hand, "You're gonna make me cum, baby."

"Please cum, Tae," you begged, gasping when he wrenched your face out from where you were hiding in his neck.

"You want my cum?" he panted, mouth falling open as you fastened your pace. You nodded as best you could with his hand in your hair, "How about you cum first for me?"

Your eyes fluttered, realizing with his words how close you were to another orgasm. You leaned forward, pressing your lips against him. He hummed in response, smiling in the kiss when you started trembling in his lap.

You pulled away from the kiss and tossed you head back as you cried out his name, gushing against his jeans. Taehyung cursed, his own hips stuttering beneath you.

By the time you came down, you realized how wet his jeans were beneath you. You whined, falling off the side of his lap. He still sat up, chest heaving as he caught his breath. With his eyes closed, he didn't see you cupping his softening length through the wet material. He hissed, brushing your hand off of him.

"I-Is that all your..."

"I should get home," he interrupted. You frowned, watching him stand up and shift uncomfortably.

"Can't you stay?" you asked, finding yourself not wanting him to leave.

"Sorry, baby," he leaned down and pressed a kiss against your forehead, "Maybe another time." With a final, departing kiss, he turned and stepped out of the door. He paused, however, and looked back at you, "Be ready tomorrow, 8PM. I'll take you for dinner."

You were left alone on the bed with a little smile on your lips ― the promise of seeing him tomorrow making you giddy.

You felt apprehensive when 8PM rolled around and there was no sign of him ― the time blinking on the screen of your computer. You sat on your desk chair, watching the moments tick by.

It was nearing 8:30 when there were a series of knocks on your door. You jumped to your feet and raced to the door, pulling it open to see Taehyung with a guilty smile and a handful of flowers.

"Sorry I'm late I uh..." he cleared his throat and held the flowers over to you, "I had to go a bit out of my way to get these."

"Oh Tae..." you smiled, taking them from his hands and bringing them up to your nose to smell, "They're beautiful."

"They're imported from Liana," he smiled, shrugging sheepishly.

"How'd you think of this?" You asked, motioning for him to enter your home as you went to your kitchen to put the flowers in water.

"Well..." he cleared his throat, "I just...I've been reading about human dates and just human things like that, you know?"

"You've been studying for our date?" you giggled, putting the flowers on your counter before turning to him. He looked shy, keeping his eyes averted from you, "I really appreciate it, Tae."

"Really?" his eyes lit up and he grinned his adorable smile.

"I think it was very thoughtful," you led him back to the door and out into the cool night.

"There's this place I really like around my place," he suddenly explained, taking your hand in his as he helped you down from the stoop, "I like to go there with some friends. I think you'll like it!"

"I'm sure I'll like anything, Tae," you admitted, smiling when he squeezed your hand in response.

The two of you made simple talk as you made your way to the restaurant. You hadn't had the opportunity to go to one in the time you'd lived on Izo Huen.

It was a simple, small building with an Open sign in English. You grinned, bouncing inside tugging Taehyung by his hand excitedly.

"Pick a seat, little one," Taehyung cooed, nudging your back.

It was set up exactly like a restaurant on Earth and you slid yourself into a booth, grinning. Taehyung took the spot across from you, lounging back as he looked at the menu. You followed his lead and opened the menu yourself. Eyes wide, you realized you were able to read everything.

"Hey...It's in English!" you muttered, eyes scanning over the words. They were translated underneath into what Taehyung could understand ― the characters and symbols lost on you.

"Yeah it's the only place around here that does it," he shrugged, "I figured you might enjoy that."

"You're..." you grinned, shaking you head, "You're so thoughtful, Tae. I really appreciate it."

He shrugged, though you could see that his ears were tinged red.

You both ordered drinks and food, the atmosphere dissolving into one of calm company. You both chatted idly about anything ― Taehyung asking a lot of questions about Earth and him trying to teach you the different characters for his alphabet. He gave up when you just couldn't get a hang of it ― teasingly calling you illiterate and cooing when you pouted.

"Hey Tae," you muttered, picking at the salad you had ordered. He hummed, mouth full of some type of steak ― though the meat was of a consistency that made your stomach turn, "How did you learn to speak so...casually?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, sipping his soda.

"You know..." you blushed, realizing the question wasn't really something to ask over the dinner table, "When you talk you use a lot of slang terms. Like...in bed," You whispered the last word and picked at your salad again.

"Oh," Taehyung chuckled, "See, I have a friend who has been to Earth a few times. He has a lot of...interesting material that he let me read. And he kind of taught me some popular slang on Earth."

"You didn't have to go to so much effort, Taehyung," you whispered, although you were grinning. Your heart fluttered in your chest nonetheless.

"I wanted to," he suddenly set a hard gaze on you, "I want you to like me and I want you to feel comfortable around me. I want to be good for you."

"Tae..." you reached across the table and cupped his hand in yours, "I already like you very much. You make me feel comfortable and you make me feel very happy."

He grinned, looking away from you shyly but squeezed your hand tightly.

The walk home was peaceful, you found yourself wrapping your arms around one of Taehyung's ― wanting to be close to him. He didn't seem to mind in the slightest, squeezing your hand tightly and staring down at you with sparkling eyes. It felt like he looked at you like you hung up the moon ― it made you feel fluttery inside.

"Do you want to come inside, Tae?" you asked, opening your front door.

He hesitated for just a moment before stepping inside. He kicked his boots off along with you, watching as you tucked both of them away in the corner. You went to your bedroom to change into something comfortable ― settling on some pajama pants and an oversized sweater. When you walked back out, Taehyung was sitting at your desk looking at your computer.

"What's this?" he gestured to your setup with your camera.

"It's where I record the logs needed to send back to Earth," you explained, "I update my superiors every week on things that are happening. When I learn something new about the culture or something interesting happens."

"Interesting," he muttered, sitting there for a moment before standing up and navigated over to your couch.

You dropped into the seat beside him and molded yourself against his side. He wrapped his arm around you and pressed a kiss against the top of your head. The silence was comfortable and you rested your head on his chest ― listening to his heartbeat.

"Hey Tae?" he hummed, looking down at you when you looked up at him, "Can I have a kiss?"

His gaze softened and he quickly leaned down to press his lips against yours. He went to pull away but you followed him, pulling him into a deep kiss making him moan. Swinging your leg over his lap, you straddled him boldly. He seemed surprised by it but didn't say anything, just moving his lips against yours.

"Tae," you whispered against his lips, "I want to touch you, please?"

"_____― " he pulled away from the kiss, pushing you back slightly by your shoulders.

"You keep saying I can't handle it, but I can!" you argued, pouting at being pushed back.

"I don't want to hurt you, _____," his brows came together in a deep furrow, "It wasn't just talk when I said you couldn't handle it. It's too much, you're too...small."

"It turns you on though doesn't it?" you teased, noticing how he was growing hard beneath you, "Can't we at least try, Tae?"

"I-I..." his head fell back when you ground against him, "Fuck, we can try."

You held in a squeal of joy when he scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the bedroom. He dropped you on the bed and stripped his shirt off.

It was the first time seeing him naked and you sat up to admire his body. He was fit, as you expected. His stomach was flat with a small trail of hair leading beneath his jeans. On his shoulders were patches embedded in his skin that reflected off the dim light of your bedroom.

"What..." you sat up on your knees, brushing your fingers over them. It felt like normal skin, and you hummed in wonder.

"They're...light-sensitive patches that we just...never evolved out of," he explained, "They were useful for survival when we dominated the deserts. Now they're just...here."

"Interesting," you muttered, trailing your hand down his chest and stomach to the button on his jeans.

Before you could flick it open, however, he grabbed your wrist and pinned you back to the bed. His gaze was dark, making you shiver underneath it. He smelled wonderful and you reached up with your free hand to brush his bangs out of his eyes.

"You've got another thing coming if you think you'll get anywhere near my cock before I think you're good and ready, little one," he growled, making your thighs clench at the sound.

You whined when he rushed to discard your clothes, not wasting a single second in getting you bare for him. He palmed himself through his jeans as he looked down at you, licking his lips.

"So pretty," he whispered, smoothing his hand down your body. Smirking, he pinched one of your nipples to hear the way you whined, "Spread your legs for me."

You hurriedly did as you were told, shame and inhibitions thrown out the window. You felt nervous under his gaze but with every compliment and soft touch ― you began to feel better. Mouth falling open, you gasped when his fingertips brushed against your folds.

"You're so wet," he mumbled, more to himself, "Are you always so wet, baby?"

"Y-You're the only one ― "

"I know that but when you touch yourself, pretty baby," he glanced up when you tensed, "I know you do. Tell me do you get this wet?"

"O-Only when I think of you," you admitted before you could think twice about it. You felt your cheeks burn at your own admission but Taehyung cursed and grunted as he squeezed his cock.

"You're such a good girl," he praised, fingertips trailing up your body again. Goosebumps ignited across your skin and you arched your back to get more of the feeling of his touch.

His fingers eagerly dipped back between your thighs to find your entrance. You whimpered when he immediately slipped a single digit inside. It felt nice but unfulfilling.

He pulled his finger out and circled it over your clit ― using your own juices to lubricate the movement. You hummed, eyes fluttering as he circled the bud several times. When your thighs began to tense, he pushed his finger back inside.

He continued the teasing until you were whining beneath him. Suddenly he pressed his thumb against the bud, circling and pressing against it relentlessly.

"I'm gonna cum!" you warned, your eyes squeezing shut.

"Go ahead, pretty baby," he urged, not pausing in his torture of your clit.

You came quickly, arching and trembling on the bed. Your cunt was empty, gushing and clenching around nothing. His touches on your clit slowed until they stopped all together.

You figured he'd give you a moment to recover but, he was suddenly sliding two fingers inside you. You were so wet from your orgasm, your cum slicking down his fingers and onto the bed. You sobbed, grinding your hips into his touch. He didn't try touching your clit or your spot, showing that much mercy. Instead, he leaned down to envelop a perked nipple in his mouth while he scissored his fingers, stretching you a bit more.

You hummed, cupping the back of his head to keep him in place. He didn't seem to mind, beginning to fuck his two fingers into you faster.

"A-Another, please," you requested, whimpered when he immediately did so.

There was a slight, tiny burn that immediately gave way to pleasure. His palm pressed against your clit ― still so sensitive that it made you tremble. As he fucked you with his fingers, he switched to give your other breast attention.

Your hips jerked with his every movement, following the pace he'd set. Every time he brushed your g-spot and you whined, he would laugh.

He took so much enjoyment in your pleasure it was almost baffling. You were always sure that men would be selfish and unsatisfying in bed but Taehyung was nothing but attentive.

Perhaps he was right; he was better than any human man.

"Cum again for me," he purred, swiping his tongue along your chest before meeting your neck.

The feeling of his fingers and teeth on your neck had you inching closer to the edge of the abyss.

"T-Tae, please," you whined, grinding your hips down, "T-Touch me, please."

He hummed, moving his thumb to press against your clit. The simple touch set you off and you were coming once again beneath him. Your body was on fire, sweat sticking to you and making you pant. It crested beautifully and faded out into trembles and whines.

He didn't remove his fingers, instead beginning to nudge a fourth into you ― his pinky finger. His eyes met yours, keeping his eyes on your face as he stretched you further than he had before. The width of his hand was bordering on painful but you found it highly enjoyable. His thumb continued to circle your clit even as you sobbed in overstimulation. Your spasming walls eagerly accepted the new stretch and you found yourself relaxing into it.

He was quickly going to send you to another orgasm but before you could fall off the edge again, he removed his thumb. You whined, grinding your hips to chase the feeling. His eyes drifted down to where his fingers were buried into you, smoothing two of his fingers from his free hand over your folds.

"Stretched so wide," he muttered, scooping up some of your cum on the digits and popping them in his mouth. Your walls squeezed his fingers in response to his display.

He suddenly pulled his fingers out and you cried out at being empty so fast. Your walls weren't able to close properly and you closed your thighs at the feeling.

Instead of stopping you, Taehyung stepped off the bed. Your mouth went dry when he unbuttoned his jeans and began to shuffle them down his thighs.

You realized he wasn't wearing underwear when his cock popped free ― flushed incredibly red at the head and leaking precum down the shaft. He visibly shuddered when his cock was free from its confines and he quickly wrapped his hand around himself ― giving himself a few good squeezes.

He was just as big as you thought. His fingers didn't meet when wrapped around the girth. He was wider than his four fingers and so long that you found yourself whimpering at the thought of him drilling into you that deep.

"You still think you can take me, little one?" he asked, crawling on the bed to kneel in front of you still clenched thighs.

"Y-Yeah...want it," you let your legs fall open, showing him your flushed and swollen cunt.

Her cursed, tapping the fat head of his cock against your cunt. You whimpered when you saw just how big it was compared to your own pussy. He was surely going to rip you in half but damn if you wouldn't enjoy every second.

His precum mixed with your cum as he slid his shaft between your folds, getting the underside of him nice and wet. You whimpered, feeling him grinding against your clit bringing you close to the orgasm you'd been denied.

Before you could fall into it, he positioned his tip at your entrance. Prodding ever so slightly, he sighed at the feeling of your heat against him. You spread your legs wider for him as he began to press inside.

You cried out, clutching the sheets beneath you as he stretched you wide open. The head of him was so thick, bordering on painful. You reached out to stop him from going any further, gritting your teeth at the feeling.

"You're okay," he whispered, shifting back so he pulled out of you.

You breathed heavily, relaxing once more as he circled your clit with his thumb. As your eyes fluttered, he began to press back inside. You whined as he pushed past what he had been, thumb not letting up on your clit. You walls spasmed around him, making him groan as you began to tremble.

The head of him popped inside and you cried out as you were sent over the edge. Taehyung's body fell over yours, catching himself on his hands beside your head. You sobbed, tears filling your eyes at the pleasure of being stretched as you were.

Taehyung's mouth fell open as he felt you cum around the head of his cock. When you calmed down to just little sniffles and whimpers, he leaned down to press his lips against your neck.

"You okay, baby?" he whispered. You nodded, reaching up to cup his cheeks and pull him into a soft kiss.

He took that as his cue to sink further into you. The flare on the head of his cock was the thickest part of him and it felt much easier for the rest of him to slide in. He nudged your cervix and when you flinched at the pain, he pulled back slightly.

"Look at that," he chuckled looking between your bodies. Following his gaze, your eyes widened, "You can't even fit all of me inside you, little one."

He was right, you'd only managed to fit half his cock inside you. Your walls clenched around him at that.

"Feels so good, Tae," you whispered, feeling his cock twitch against your walls.

He grinned, moving his hips gently, sinking in as far as he comfortably could before pulling back out. Although he wasn't able to fit in you completely, he still found himself groaning against you

"Such a tight little cunt," he growled, nipping at your jaw, "Took me so well, like a good girl."

You began to grind your hips up as he sunk into you and he growled. Sitting back on his heels, he soothed his hand over your body to soothe you.

You cursed loudly when he snapped his hips much harder into you ― testing how much you could take. When you gushed and spasmed around him, he took that as a sign to keep going. You moaned so beautifully for him, body reacting like a dream to his every touch and movement.

Cunt stretched wide and stuffed full of cock, you couldn't even think of anything else. You felt drunk, dizzy and lightheaded. Taehyung cooed when you slurred out his name, swiping his thumb over your bottom lip to collect some drool there.

"You're so cute," he grinned, breaking out into a moan when you clenched him tight, "All you can think about is my cock, huh?"

"'S so good..." you whispered, the words coming out almost breathlessly.

"I know, baby," he replied, licking his lips as he moved to his cock pounding you open wider than you should have been able to take, "You're gushing and squeezing me so nice. Are you gonna cum? Can you cum for me?"

You swallowed and nodded, whining when he hit your cervix. It hurt but it blended in with the pleasure. Mindlessly, you reached down to find your clit ― intent on sending yourself over the edge.

"No, no baby," he cooed, brushing your fingers away, "You'll cum without touching your pretty clit, yeah?"

"C-Can't," you sobbed, tears leaking out of the corner of your eyes.

"I think you can," he muttered, smoothing his hand over your lower stomach. "Fuck, look at that, babygirl."

You lazily followed his gaze to where his hand laid. Your cunt clenched at the sight of your stomach bulging every time he sunk in ― his cock literally molding you around it. You gasped, your high bubbling in your stomach.

"Wanna cum!" you cried, attempting to reach down and circle your clit again only to be stopped once more.

"I said no, little one," he snapped, pinning your hands above your head as he loomed above you, "You can do it. Cum for me."

Your body went still, focusing on the feeling of his cock filling you and stretching you. His cock was so big that he didn't even have to try to reach any good spots within you.

Astoundingly, you shrieked as your orgasm finally washed over you. Taehyung cursed in your ear, fucking you ruthlessly through the high. Distantly, you felt wetness splatter between your thighs and coat both of you. You chanted his name as you squirmed and writhed at the overwhelming pleasure.

"Shit, I'm― " Taehyung's warning was cut off by a groan.

His weight fell on you fully and he hid his face in your neck as he came. You hugged him against you, still trembling as he pumped his hot cum into you. There was so much, his cock keeping his cum plugged inside you. You gasped and twitched as you felt your stomach bloat over so slightly. You walls clenched around him, the idea of him filling you so much sending you into another quiet orgasm.

It was less spectacular than the others, but still left you gasping of air. Taehyung groaned in your ear as he felt you cum around his sensitive cock once again ― forcing a couple more spurts out of him to add.

It seemed like forever until his body finally relaxed. He continued to hold you, pressing kisses against any place he possibly could.

"That was...nice..." you muttered, making him laugh as he rolled off of you.

Your mouth fell open as he pulled his cock out ― it ached, there was no denying it. There was a gush of his cum, so much of it that it formed of pool beneath you. Your cheeks felt hot as Taehyung watched his cum pour out of your abused hole.

"Who knew my little human girl could take so much?" he teased, enjoyed the way you squirmed in embarrassment, "Want to take a shower?"

"Only if you will with me," you offered with a tired voice, watching his face morph into an expression of confusion.

"Is that some type of human thing?" he asked, sitting up and stretching his muscles.

"Apparently so," you whispered.

"Hey..." he paused from getting off of the bed. "You...you'll be here a while, right?"

"What do you mean?" you asked, clenching your thighs shut as you felt your core begin to burn and ache as you came back to yourself.

"Like...you won't have to go back to Earth any time, right?" his voice sounded small, almost fragile.

"I'll stay as long as I want to," you reassured, leaning over to kiss him but freezing before you could.

"What is it?" he asked, frowning.

"I'm just really fucking sore," you mumbled, flushing when he burst out laughing.

"Ah, my cute little human," he cooed, kissing your nose.

[annetteblog]

Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?  

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

                                       /as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

                                                    Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 

P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha

[finrad]

Houses of Healing - Éowyn x Reader

Ah, Éowyn, one of the people who helped me realize that I'm bi...

Warnings: none

0o0o0

You opened your eyes, being flooded with light. A man was looking at you, and after a few seconds of trying to see properly, you noticed that the man was Aragorn. Where were you? The last thing that you remembered was getting knocked out while battling in Pelennor Fields.

A beautiful woman was laying in a bed next to yours. Her eyes were shut, for she was severely injured. Secretly hoping that she would live, you closely watched as Aragorn tried to wake her. You were an elf, and there weren't many other elves in these parts. Not this close to Mordor.

The woman woke eventually, to your relief. Her grey eyes radiated beauty, a beauty that you were enchanted by. Never have you been so attracted to anyone. Was a romance between an elf and a human going to happen? Not a chance.

Elves were indeed known for their beauty and grace, but you believed this woman to be so beautiful. As soon as you have the chance, you had to speak to her.

And so your chance came. The woman stood by a large window a while after she was woken. Nervously, you walked up to her and began to talk to her. Her name was Éowyn, and her uncle was the late King Théoden of the Rohirrim. She had a brother named Éomer, and she was a sheidmaiden.

"Wow..." you muttered.

"So, what about you? This conversation cannot be about only me, as that would make me seem self-centered." said Éowyn. "You are an elf, so I would assume that you have quite an interesting life."

"I am from Rivendell, known to my kind as Imladris. My life hasn't been very interesting until I joined the Fellowship of the Ring. Honestly, I was a simple elf that was invited to the Council of Elrond. You have a much more interesting than me." you told Éowyn.

"Ah, I assumed that elves would have much better lives than us Men, being fair and beautiful and all." The woman stared out the window. "But I suppose that they are not as different than us as I thought they were."

"We are very different, though." you said. Éowyn nodded, knowing that elves and Men are very different. Like, elves were immortal, meaning that grief must be different for them. Also, they only fell in love once, so they most likely never took it for granted. She was curious about the culture of the elves, now that she befriended one.

The two of you talked for a while, and a beautiful friendship began to form. Both of you were to stay in the Houses of Healing for several days. These days might feel boring and odd, but at least Éowyn was with you.

Night came, and it was quite peaceful. Although battle could possibly be near, the night felt quiet. The stars twinkled in the sky as the moon shone brilliantly. Éowyn was asleep, her eyes closed. You wished her good dreams, and a good sleep. Elves didn't really sleep, though they can have visions and dreams.

You went to the window, staring at the stars. Nobody in the Houses of Healing was awake, as you were the only elf in there. Being the only elf felt weird, as you were used to being surrounded by elves while you lived in Rivendell and then in Lothlórien when you stayed there.

Soon, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around to see who touched you, and it was Éowyn. Though she had just woken up, and her golden hair was a mess, she was still gorgeous in your eyes. She let out a yawn.

"What are you doing up this late?" you asked.

"I just woke up and I noticed that you were awake. So, I figured that we should have a conversation." Éowyn answered.

So then, the two of you had a conversation. In that little chat you two had, Éowyn revealed that she disguised herself as a man to fight in Pelennor Fields. She constantly argued that she can fight in a war. To some, that would seem stubborn, but you liked that. Those actions made her brave.

The next morning, you saw Éowyn talking to a man. A sharp pain was in your heart. They were talking and laughing, and you caught a little bit of flirting. She is in love with somebody else. No wonder she was though, for the man she was talking to was so kind to her. Jealousy raged inside you.

Man, you felt bad about this. You were in love with this woman, and she didn't love you back. Your heart was wrenched. Please don't say that she loved the man. Please. Not that you didn't want the best for Éowyn, of course, but you really wanted to be with her. She was the love of your life.

Days soon passed, and you talked to Éowyn a lot. She talked to the man quite often, and sometimes, you saw them talking. The body language screamed "We're in love." Each time they would talk, it felt like a massive dagger to the heart.

Instead of just allowing it to happen and not mentioning it to your friend, you decided to talk about the man she constantly talked to.

"So... who is that person you've been speaking to?" you asked. "I've seen you two talk a lot."

"His name is Faramir, and he is quite kind..." She trailed off and stared into the distance. Oh no, she was in love with Faramir. It was obvious, based on her tone. Even more daggers stab your heart. Éowyn didn't know it, but she was breaking your heart.

"Oh..." You felt so much pain right now. "Are you two in love? If you are, I'd be so happy for you." Hopefully no pain slipped in your voice, because you didn't want Éowyn to know how hurt you were. Your sadness would only make her sad. And she didn't deserve that.

Éowyn shook her head. What? So she wasn't in love with him? "I am in love with another." she told you.

"Do tell!" you exclaimed, curious as to who she was in love with.

"You." This word had shocked you completely. This cannot be true. Nope. No way. "I'm not joking. You. I mean, this might be weird, as I am mortal and you are immortal, but I truly love you."

"Well... I love you, too." you said. And thus began the romance between an immortal elf and a mortal human.

[loki-hargreeves]

Loki x Reader - Bad At Love (drabble/prompt)

@brokenthelovely​ said: Ohh! I love your song prompt idea. Can I get 32 with Loki pretty please?

Here you go, love! I hope you like it. It turned out different than planned, but I just went with the vibe I got from the song :)

-*-,-*- SONG PROMPT LIST -*-,-*-

Warnings: alcohol, vulgar language, mentions of cheating, fighting, angst, alcohol Word Count:  3,8K  Summary: Based on Halsey’s song ‘Bad at Love’. You are upset for yet another failed romance and begin to think you’re bad at love. The truth is, you only love one man who you don’t believe you could ever have. In an attempt to cheer you up, Loki agrees to accompany you on a night out. All is well until your ex shows up and blames Loki for the doom of your relationship.

Loki didn’t think he’d make friends on Midgard, let alone a close friend, one he learned to truly care about. His time on the planet was not supposed to be this pleasant. Asgard was gone, destroyed and now the people lived somewhere in Norway. Loki, on the other hand, was busy assisting what was left of the Avengers after the final battle against Thanos. It was in New York that he met Y/N, a young but powerful Avenger. 

And she was very enchanting too.

 It was quite a typical day so far. Loki had slept poorly yet he decided to get up early. At around 5 in the morning, he had walked to the kitchen to brew coffee, a drink he quickly got addicted to. There she was, sitting on a stool by the kitchen island with her face in her hands. Loki assumed she hadn’t slept well either. 

“You don’t seem so bright this morning,” Loki made a rather innocent comment, without any intentions of setting her off. 

Y/N groaned and slowly raised her gaze from the marble counter, looking Loki right in the eye. “And water is wet,” She just muttered.

Loki didn’t think much of it. She said a lot of things no one would ever say on Asgard. He had learned to understand most of it by now. He had just stated the obvious. “What kept you up?”

He sat down next to her with two cups of steaming hot coffee, one for him and one for her. She accepted it with a small smile before she took a careful sip. “It’s nothing, really,” She tried to brush it off. “Just a bad date, but it’s irrelevant now.”

Loki wasn’t a fool. He knew something was going on, but he didn’t want to push her buttons. So for now, he let go of it and they continued on with their days, just like they had for months on end. Besides, he didn’t like to think about her dates. It was a constant reminder that he should stop caring for her the way he did.

                               By the time evening came, Loki was done with his daily tasks and he wanted to see the only person in the compound who he could tolerate for longer than a quarter. He decided to check her room. Usually, if she wasn’t there by now, she was either working on a mission or she was at her own apartment further in the heart of the city. Just as Loki walked past her door, she walked out with her coat and scarf on. They nearly bumped into each other, but Loki stopped that collision by gently grabbing her by her shoulders to stop her. 

“Heading out?” Loki raised his eyebrow curiously. He tried not to seem too curious or interested. It would just be awkward. 

She didn’t seem happy as she smiled. “Yeah, my boyfriend called. I-I should hurry, I’m sorry, Loki!” Y/N excused herself and nearly ran towards the end of the corridor. 

Boyfriend?

Loki felt confused as he watched her go. He didn’t know she had a boyfriend, which was odd because they had been very close recently. The late-night talks in his room or on the roof, the movie nights she insisted they’d have because according to her, Loki had to learn something about Midgardian culture. Suddenly, his heart felt a pinch. 

Of course, she had a boyfriend.

Sure, it was disappointing, but Loki told himself it was for the better. Now that he stood there, he couldn’t understand how his heart had even tried to grow its roots on Y/N, someone from a completely different realm than him. 

                        A day passed, and another and a third and Loki had still not heard of Y/N. No matter how many times he told himself to stop caring, he couldn’t. He worried something was wrong because she didn’t show up to meetings. By the time the third evening arrived and Loki hadn’t heard anything, he decided to step out of his comfort zone and talk to the other Avengers about Y/N. 

As if they didn’t suspect he had feelings for her already. No matter how well he tried to conceal it, it was hard when he only truly trusted her. 

Sam and Bucky were in the living room, relaxing after a workout with a game Loki never learned to like. They were just pushing buttons and yelling at the screen, but it seemed like they enjoyed it. As Loki stepped into the room, they paused the game and eyed the Trickster, expecting him to speak first. 

Loki sighed and put on a careless act, “Have you seen Y/N?”

Both of the Avengers smirked suddenly and exchanged looks. “Why?” Sam wanted to know.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes was hard for Loki. “She hasn’t shown up for meetings in three days after she went out to see her boyfriend,” he explained calmly. The last thing he wanted was for those two oafs, just as big as his brother, to think he fancied the girl. 

Instead of laughing or teasing the god, they too seemed worried, shocked even. “Boyfriend?” they said in unison and a part of Loki felt relieved that he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know. But his worry also grew because it meant they had no clue where she was. The aura in the room turned cold. Y/N was special, for sure, but everyone liked her. It was common for the team members to disappear for a few days, but Y/N always reported her absence.

“If anyone knows about her boyfriend, it’s Wanda,” Bucky sighed after a while. The winter soldier didn’t necessarily like the idea of Y/N and Loki together, but he could’ve sworn he’d see it coming. Hearing about her secret boyfriend was just odd. 

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. 

Before anyone could worry further, the elevator dinged in the hallway and someone walked in. All three heads turned to see who it was and speak of the devil! Y/N walked in and rushed towards her room, completely ignoring everyone else. Something was definitely off...

“You should talk to her,” Sam encouraged Loki. It was no secret that Loki and Y/N were close, everyone knew that. Everyone also thought they had something going on, but apparently, things weren’t as clear as they seemed.

Without a doubt, Loki agreed and decided to follow her. When he walked towards her room, he felt bad. Loki tended to know when things weren’t good and right now he had that rotten feeling deep in his guts. He reached her room and he knocked on the door, making his presence clear. 

“Who is it?” She groaned, seemingly annoyed.

“May I come in?” Loki asked and assumed she’d recognize him by his voice.

Silence.

He heard a few light footsteps and suddenly she opened the door. Y/N stepped back to let him in and Loki entered the dark room, never taking his eyes off the woman he called his friend. He hated to admit it, but whenever he saw her, his heart beat a little faster. This time her hair was in a messy ponytail, her face was makeup-less yet still beautiful and she was dressed in large, baggy clothes. 

Had she been crying?

Once the door closed, Y/N looked like she wanted to rant, to yell or even punch something. Yet at the same time, she seemed sad, like her feelings were bottled up and threatening to spill. 

“What’s going on, Y/N?” Loki wanted to know. He wasn’t too familiar with Midgardian dating traditions, but he doubted it was normal for a woman to return from her boyfriend in such a stressed state. 

“The same old shit, honestly. It’s so old by now, but it keeps happening!” Y/N complained. She was tired of something, just like in the morning Loki saw her in the kitchen. 

It didn’t appear like she was uncomfortable by Loki’s presence so Loki felt welcome to sit down on the edge of her bed, making it sink slightly beneath him. “Are you talking about your er....boyfriend?” Loki hated that word. It made his tongue twirl in disgust, but he said it anyway. Her body stiffened like snow in harsh and cold winter nights. Loki took that as a yes since she didn’t say anything to deny it. It seemed like she didn’t know how to answer or perhaps she didn’t want to. She was biting her tongue because she knew if she opened her mouth, she’d say things she shouldn’t. By now, it was obvious that something had happened that hurt her. If Loki found out someone had hurt her, he was going to pay the ‘boyfriend’ a visit. “Did he hurt you?” Loki asked bluntly. He was the god of mischief, god of lies. For him, it was easy to figure out things and put the pieces together. All signs pointed to her boyfriend being the reason for her distress. 

“Not physically, but yeah, being called the worst things imaginable and all that hurts. I dumped him,” She scoffed, trying to laugh although clearly, it bothered her. “I’m so sick of this, honestly! All of my relationships end up turning into a nightmare, Loki! They either cheat on me or try to use me because I’m this stupid hero, or so they think. I hate this! I just want to be me, not who they think I am. Why am I so bad at love?”

Listening to her pained words made Loki both angry and hurt. He didn’t understand how anyone could inflict pain upon her. Loki was sure that if he ever stood a chance, he would treat her like a queen. He was angry that some people only saw her status and oddly, he understood how that felt. “You’re not bad at love, Y/N. You’ve just met the wrong people,” Loki explained rather kindly and even offered her a small yet sweet smile. The curve of his rosy lips was sincere, it was comforting, she liked it a little bit too much.

She sat on her bed and now she couldn’t take her eyes off Loki. Did he know that the reason she even gave those assholes a chance was because she so desperately wanted to drown her growing love for him? “I just- this sounds so silly, I just wanted a simple relationship. It’s been forever since someone held me or just loved me. I know I should be strong and all that, but I have feelings too.”

What Y/N wanted to say was that she wanted him to hold her, she wanted him to love her. 

“That time will come, I’m sure,” Loki tried to comfort her with words. 

“Maybe the next time it won’t hurt as much,” she just responded melancholily. Loki didn’t want to pry, but it seemed like the breakup had been ugly. He knew she’d tell him eventually when she was ready.

“Let’s go out,” Y/N suddenly suggested, completely out of the blue. There was a reckless tang to her suggestion, so contrary to the tone she had a moment ago. “Please, let’s just...I don’t know, grab a drink, have fun! I don’t want to loathe in self-pity here.”

Oh, if only she knew how much Loki liked the sound of that. 

                                    Just like that, the two made up their minds. Sure, going out to a Midgardian club wasn’t exactly Loki’s cup of tea, but he didn’t mind trying new things with her. Loki was dressed in a simple all-black suit with polished shoes and his hair was brushed back neatly. It seemed appropriate for him. Loki waited in the corridor, leaned against the wall as Y/N got ready. By now, Sam and Bucky had abandoned the living room. The compound was quiet although it was only 11PM. 

Finally, Y/N was ready. Loki could tell when he heard her heels click against the hardwood floor. The Trickster tilted his head to see her and what he saw nearly made his jaw drop. He knew she was beautiful - inside and out - but when she walked down the corridor in a skintight, emerald green dress, black heels and golden jewellery, Loki was sure he saw a goddess. 

Y/N tried to stay as confident as she could. Perhaps Loki noticed, maybe he didn’t, but she chose to wear his colours on purpose. It was a small gesture, but she hoped it was a signal for him. Subtle, but at the same time so obvious. Their eyes met and both smiled, excited to get out for a night. Before Loki could compliment her, someone else opened their mouth, “Woah woah woah, where are you going looking like that, young lady?” It was Bucky. Loki knew that Bucky and Y/N had a very close bond, they were nearly like family, honestly. 

“None of your business, and second of all, you talk like a grandpa,” Y/N giggled and playfully hit Bucky’s shoulder. The soldier didn’t even budge. 

“I mean, I am over 90 years old.”. That’s when Bucky looked at Loki and his smile stiffened for a moment. A while ago, he thought Y/N had a boyfriend and now she was going out with Loki. He definitely had a lot of catching up to do with her. “Just be careful,” He nodded and went in to ruffle her hair, which she quickly dodged. 

“You’re a pain in the ass, James!” Y/N joked with such a sweet voice that even a toddler would’ve caught her joking tone. “Let’s go, okay?” Y/N grabbed Loki by the arm that he had offered and almost dragged him into the elevator. 

Someone was excited to get some fresh air. 

In the elevator, Loki finally let his shoulders sink. He was happy to go out with her, but something still told him something wasn’t quite right. Unfortunately, he couldn’t brush that feeling away so he let it settle in the back of his mind. “You look stunning, I hope you know that.”

                                             At last, they reached the club. In Loki’s eyes, it was just a cramped, dim place with a bunch of horny and drunk people and obnoxious music. Yet when Y/N was the one who took him there, it was alright. Although Midgardian drinks weren’t nearly as strong as on Asgard, they weren’t necessarily bad. 

They had barely made it through their first drinks and shots when a song caught Y/N’s attention. “I love this song!” She exclaimed happily and leaned against the booth seat more relaxed. Loki, who sat next to her, tried to focus on the song over the noise around them. He managed to hear a bit of the lyrics,

 “...I believe ...  that we're meant to be But ... jealousy get the best of me Look, I don't mean to frustrate, but I Always make the same mistakes ...”

Maybe she didn’t even notice it herself, but Loki did. She was humming along with the song which was adorable. He could already tell that she needed to get out for a bit. It was good for her and for him too, which he didn’t like to admit. 

At that moment, Loki just knew that he had fallen for her and there was little he could do about it. 

Time passed fast as they sipped on their same overly sweet drinks, talked and even joked about going on the dancefloor. Y/N seemed eager, but Loki was more hesitant. “I assure you, if I was under the influence, I’d be more flexible, but it seems..sweaty,” he let her know. 

“I get it, you can’t dance!” Y/N teased him as she stood up. “I’m going to find the loo, I’ll be right back and maybe I’ll show you that it’s not so bad,” she excused herself and Loki simply nodded, deciding he’d just wait for her in the booth. As he sat there by himself, he felt that nasty feeling in his gut again, pulling his insides and making him uncomfortable. Loki scanned the place and then he saw it, a man sat a few booths away and he was staring at him. The cold, hateful look in his eyes made Loki’s skin go cold. Even when Loki caught him, the man didn’t look away. 

What in the world?

As the man got up and walked towards Loki almost aggressively, he took a deep breath. What was it now? Another angry civilian or just an idiot who had to pick up a fight?

“You!” The unknown man growled and slammed his fist on the table. Loki didn’t even flinch. He gave him a cold glare and stayed calm. Loki was annoyed that some irrelevant fool was there to bother him. Did he even know who Loki was?

“I’m flattered you recognize me, but I have not the slightest clue of who you are. Mind clearing it up for me, would you?” Loki decided to strike him with honesty. The man looked like he needed attention and he wasn’t going to get it, at least not in the way he had hoped. Loki didn’t really want to fight, but there was already a crowd and he wasn’t going to walk out as a sorry loser. 

“I’m sure you’re real proud of yourself, dude. Must feel good to be the reason why that fucking bitch left me!” He declared loudly, making heads turn although the music was loud. 

That bitch? 

Had he followed her?!

Loki felt his blood boil when he realized who that was. He couldn’t believe Y/N had settled for such a pretentious and disrespectful oaf like that. Loki stood up abruptly, never breaking eye contact with the man. “If I were you, I would not go around bashing her name like that. It’s unwise of you,” Loki gave him his one and only warning. 

It appeared Y/N’s ex didn’t like Loki’s attitude any more than Loki liked his. “You fucking asshole!” He spat and leapt at Loki, aiming his fist at the god’s jaw. 

Idiots never learn.

Loki grabbed the man’s wrist mid-punch and twisted his arm, making him yell out in pain. As Loki had a hold of him, he pushed him down against the dirty table and put the man’s arm behind his back. One simple movement could break his arm, which Loki would’ve loved to do. “Listen to me, you pathetic excuse of a man,” Loki growled harshly, probably making the man’s legs shake by now. “You don’t ever, and I mean it, ever try to talk to her ever again. If I see you near her, I will make you wish you were never born, do you understand? And never, ever disrespect her again. It’ll be your greatest mistake.”

He tried to wiggle free, but Loki only added pressure on his arm, earning a cry of pain from him. He mixed in some magic, turning his palm ice cold so his grip stung just a little bit more. It didn’t leave damage, but Loki knew it hurt a lot. “Fine! Fine, just..let me go, you’re crazy!”

Nothing Loki hadn’t heard a thousand times before.

He did as told and let go of him. The second Loki stepped back, the man had the audacity to attack him for the second time. Was he really so dumb? He really went for it, jumping towards Loki, ready to tackle him to the ground. With one smooth step, Loki simply stepped aside and watched as he stumbled on the floor awkwardly.  Now the crowd he had gathered laughed at him. 

As Loki turned around, he saw Y/N standing there. By the look on her face, she had seen what had happened. For a split second, Loki feared he had done something wrong until she smiled. As her ex tried to get up from the floor, Y/N pressed the heel of her shoe on his head gently, but it sent shivers down his spine and he didn’t dare move.

Seeing her like that was hot, much hotter than Loki thought it would be. By keeping that scumbag down on the dirty floor, she looked powerful, sexy. God, that was definitely a sight he wouldn’t forget. 

“You heard him, didn’t you?” 

“Yes! I-I heard..take your foot off my face you crazy-”

“Ah, ah, ah-” Y/N didn’t let him finish that sentence. She added a little bit of pressure just to scare him and it worked, making him shut up. “Now gather your stuff and get lost. I don’t ever want to see you again,” Y/N expressed her wishes very clearly. Eventually, she let him get up and it seemed the message got delivered. Loki, Y/N and the crowd watched as the man ran off, either pissed or scared - or both. Once he was finally out of the picture, Loki dared to say something. 

“Wow, where has that side of you been all this time?” Loki questioned her.

That dominating almost scary Y/N was gone and now she was back to her sweet, old self. “I have no idea, but that felt amazing. Why haven’t I done that sooner?” She wondered excitedly. 

“Better late than never, don’t you think?” 

Loki and Y/N fell quiet for a while. It’s like what Loki said struck Y/N’s mind deeper than it was intended to. The confidence boost from whatever it was that just happened made her certain that she wanted him. It’s like an electric force was between them, pulling them closer. Y/N took a couple steps towards Loki and shamelessly cupped his face. “You’re damn right,” she whispered and closed her lips on his. 

The kiss came out of the blue yet it was a long time coming. Everything fell into place as their lips moulded together, eliciting fireworks inside their hearts. Loki put his hand on her jawline, resting his fingers at the back of her head as he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Y/N didn’t mind as Loki pushed his tongue through her soft lips, exploring her mouth. In fact, she couldn’t hold back a moan as the sweet kiss quickly turned fiery. 

Did she have any idea what she was doing to Loki? 

She pulled back and laughed happily, now resting her forehead against Loki’s shoulder. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

Loki didn’t sense any regret in her voice, which was such a relief to hear. “It seems tonight is full of surprises.”

They faced each other again. Although they were nervous about making their feelings known, they were happy. The kiss was just the first of many. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Y/N admitted to him. 

Loki didn’t even have to say it to let her know he had wanted to kiss her too. Her lips were so alluring and now that he had had a taste, he was hooked. “Why did you wait?”

“Are you kidding? You know how bad I am when it comes to...well, love, I guess,” She answered him while still holding onto him. Neither of them wanted to let go.

Love.

Loki felt like the luckiest man in the nine realms. She didn’t say it directly, but she implied she had romantic feelings for him.

She was so wonderful, but she didn’t know that. Loki knew she had been treated wrong by so many and he swore not to repeat their mistakes when it came to her. He bent down and pecked her lips, needing to feel hers on his again. As their foreheads rested together, Loki spoke, “How about we go somewhere more private? I think I can change your mind about that,” Loki suggested. He wanted to take her out of that club and show her how much he wanted her, how much he wanted to make her feel loved.

And she enjoyed that suggestion. She slid her fingers between his and gave his hand a squeeze. “We’ll see about that, Loki.”

So a challenge it was,

Loki was happy to take it. 

Author’s Note: Ending one-shots is hard, gosh. Thank you for reading, though! I would love to hear your feedback <3

[independentartistbuzz]

7 From The Women is a segment here on Independent Artist Buzz where we ask some of the industries finest seven questions. During this time of accusations and the lack thereof, we think it’s important to give women a voice. We chose to ask seven questions to honor the seven Wiccan clans.

Kristen Rae Bowden is a beautiful turmoil of tenderness and willfulness. It’s a paradoxical sentiment also evident in her artistic sensibilities. In her upcoming debut, Language and Mirrors, she fluidly, and authentically, inhabits earthy Americana and majestic orchestral rock.

What have you been working to promote lately?

In November 2018 I released my first album, entitled “Language and Mirrors.” On March 15 2019 I will release my first music video from the album. The video is for my song “It Isn’t About You.”

I wrote “It Isn’t About You” while living in a screened-in-shack with no power on the Big Island of Hawaii. I was 22, fresh from college, excited by the idea of living “off the grid”, and very much in love with a young man whose family owned land in Hawaii. After we moved there, however, our relationship quickly deteriorated, practically turning to dust before my eyes. I felt powerless to save it, or leave.

I found myself on a metaphorical island, as well as a real one, and my feeling of isolation stemmed from my obsession with the unhealthy relationship. It became difficult for me to imagine myself outside of it; I no longer felt whole on my own.

Even without electricity, I remained a night owl. I stayed up alone in the tiny dark house on the edge of the jungle, drinking wine, and writing poetry by candlelight. This is how I wrote “It Isn’t About You”: as part of a long, freeform poem. (It is one of my only songs where I wrote the lyrics first.)

Later, I put the poem to music, after I finally got the courage to leave the relationship, and I’d steadied my mind. The song is about making that return to yourself and your own joys, strengths, and needs. It is also about taking responsibility for your own choices, so that you never feel (unnecessarily) like a victim, and you can move on.

The music video for “It Isn’t About You” will premiere on Facebook Premiere on Friday March 15 at 1:00 pm.

Please tell us about your favorite song written, recorded or produced by another woman and why it’s meaningful to you.

I think, after all these years, my favorite track written by a woman is still Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You”. The melody starts out conversational, understated, and then it soars! The simplicity of the instrumentation creates such an intimate experience, you feel like she’s in your living room, singing right in your ear. You hear every word, which is perfect because her lyrics go straight to the heart.

The beauty of the poem alone overwhelms me. Joni has a way of writing lyrics that are very specific to her own experience, and full of imagery, but when I listen to them, I feel like they are about me too. Much like an abstract painting where different people will see different things, Joni’s artful words allow you to color them with your own experience. This makes me feel truly known, and comforted somehow as a human being, because I know I’m not alone.

What does it mean to you to be a woman making music/in the music business today and do you feel a responsibility to other women to create messages and themes in your music?

When I decided I wanted to become a career musician, I didn’t think at all about my gender. I just knew I wanted to make music; that’s all I thought about.

Now, I believe that as a woman in the music industry, I have the opportunity to showcase a more feminine (as in the divine) incarnation of strength. As a culture I think we view strength in a very masculine way; it often means hardness, stoicism. I believe we tend to ignore the strength that it takes to be vulnerable... the strength that lies in open-heartedness and flexibility. After all, a branch that cannot bend is more likely to break. In my songs, I find myself wanting to express this: how brave one must be to remain open-hearted. I think it is something I have to offer that has to do with my womanhood and femininity.

When I write I honestly don’t feel a responsibility to create certain messages and themes in my music. I write according to my feelings, so those end up being the messages and themes. However, when I write a song about a certain moment in my life, I definitely listen critically to the song and ask myself what kind of message it is going to send into the world.

Once I wrote a song about a previous boyfriend cheating on me with a girl who I really thought was my friend. They both lied to me about it for several weeks. It was overwhelmingly hurtful. Some men say they have a “bro’s code” to not let women come between them. So, I wrote this song about the lack of a “girls code”, and basically sang about how I knew my boyfriend at the time was going to lie to me, that was obvious. But I never expected my woman friend to be a part of it, sneaking around and lying to me also.

Later I realized I couldn’t release the song, because of the message one might take from it. My lyrics ended up sounding too much like a woman who blames the other woman when her significant other lies to her, instead of holding him responsible, and also taking responsibility for the choice she has made to be with him. What that particular “friend” did to me was unkind, but I don’t ever want to sound like a woman who puts other women down as a group. I didn’t want to risk being interpreted in that way.

I hope to be a voice of catharsis, empowerment, and empathy.

What is the most personal thing you have shared in your music or in your artist brand as it relates to being female?

My most personal song is “My Father’s Daughter”. My Dad was an extremely charismatic, artistic, and captivating man. He was also quite the womanizer. He passed away when I was 18, and I still miss him every single day.

I think as a girl, when you grow up with a Dad who is your absolute favorite person, but over time you learn about some of his negative proclivities, you’ll have some kind of emotional reaction. And the reaction will be based (at least in part) on how you are his daughter. If you were his son, you might respond quite differently.

“My Father’s Daughter” is really about me getting into a relationship with a man who had also lost his artistic (and womanizing) father. He had a daddy-backstory similar to mine, but he had responded in a completely different way. We could understand each other better in some ways due to the similarities in our respective Dads’ personalities, but in other ways we really had no hope of ever understanding each other.

The song also has to do with the fact that sometimes, there is no stronger bond than shared grief.

I think this is the most personal thing I’ve written as it relates to being female, because it’s specific to what we would call “Daddy issues”. Anyone can have Daddy issues, regardless of their gender, but being female definitely effects how these complicated feelings play out in one’s life. This is true for me, at least.

What female artists have inspired you and influenced you?

So many! I’ve already mentioned Joni Mitchell. I just finished reading “Just Kids” and Patti Smith is a poetic hero. Others include Joan Jett, Nina Simone, Bonnie Raitt, Aretha Franklin, Patsy Cline, Erykah Badu, Zap Mama, Emmylou Harris, Iris DeMent, Janis Joplin, Grace Slick, Stevie Nicks, Carole King, Amy Winehouse, Bjork, Lady Gaga, Billie Holiday, Ani DiFranco, and Tracy Chapman.

Who was the first female artist you saw that made you want to create music / be in the business?

When I was 19, my sister and I went to see Ani DiFranco. I remember loving how the audience was overwhelmingly female, right as I walked in. I noted to myself how rare it is to be in the company of mostly women, at least for me. Ani sang her songs and I think everyone in the theater was affected, you could just feel it in the air. I laughed and I cried. I marveled at how she connected with each member of the audience personally ; she made each of us feel like we’d met her. Each of her songs consistently blew me away with her confessional storytelling. She stirred my emotions and completely inspired me.

The next night I went into a practice room at my college, played the piano, and wrote my first real song. I didn’t mean to write it ; it surprised me. It was about my Dad dying, which had happened about a year before. I scribbled it on a cocktail napkin that I’ve saved ever since.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? If so why and if not why?

I definitely consider myself a feminist. Women deserve equal rights and bodily autonomy, period. I grew up very privileged, in a community/culture that told me I could be anything I wanted, so I have to admit I was rather shocked to find out that some people still think women aren’t supposed to do certain jobs or have certain roles in life. I also grew up in a very homogenous community. For a long time I was very ignorant when it comes to the idea of intersectional feminism, and I still have a lot to learn about how feminism can exclude the experiences and points of view of women of color and LGBTQ women. It is important to me to be an ally to all women, especially those in minority communities, as they are the ones who are most effected by sexism and discrimination. Learning how to be a good ally is an ongoing process, and I consider it my responsibility to educate myself about issues outside of my personal experience. All in all, I am a feminist because women are still so marginalized, all over the world. Women’s rights are human rights, and as long as things remain unbalanced, this deserves our constant attention.

Connect with Kristen online:

https://www.kristenraebowden.com

https://www.facebook.com/KristenRaeBowden/

https://www.instagram.com/kristenraebowden/

https://twitter.com/bowdenrae?lang=en

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0PPhdmifjwxW8fkF_CxIoQ

https://kristenraebowden.tumblr.com/

https://open.spotify.com/artist/2mi6KqRPH72KiS6r1A9ePI?nd=1

https://soundcloud.com/kristenraebowden

https://kristenraebowden.bandcamp.com/releases

[republicstandard]

An Alt-Right Appreciation of Diversity

I'm no stranger to travelling to non-white countries. I've always been drawn to lush tropical places with balmy breezes and the feeling of sand pushing between my toes or the sticky heat blanket that hovers in a rainforest thick with the smell of fruit and flora underpinned with a slight whiff of the dank odor of decay of the forest floor. I've hiked hot stone forts exploring the grooves from where cannons used to fire, and posed for photos in dungeons in which pirates were kept. I have night-kayaked through an overhung bayou to a bay full of bio-lumescent plankton. I've shopped in traditional markets where I had to haggle over the price of goods in a language I don't speak using money I barely understand while running my fingers over hand dyed and woven fabrics and the clinking hand crafted jewelry as the weight of it was placed upon me by hands darker than my own. I've eaten foods I wouldn't dream of ordering at home and I've laughed with and mourned with people who look nothing like me. I'd change none of it, and I'll seek more of it should the opportunity arise.

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The beauty of humanity is in our true diversity. The range of races of Mankind, able to pursue their destinies in peace. You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

I am aware of the differences between the majority and mean of my people and the majority and mean of other groups of people; how it impacts my daily life and the economic impact it has on myself, community, state and country. I could drown you in federal crime statistics by race and per capita that illustrate that the crime rates exponentially increase everywhere homogeneity is reduced in favor of multiculturalism.

This phenomena is most prevalent in White western nations as there isn't a lot of immigration to places with less luxury, convenience, and peace. As countries like Israel, Japan, Korea, Singapore, Norway, Poland and much of Africa do have homogeneity the crime statistics data by comparison is also available. From the maps below, I think it is pretty fair to say that ethnic diversity leads to death; whether you're ready to allocate blame or responsibility is unimportant.

Notice anything?

I don't hate entire ethnicities and nations of people because they look or behave differently than I do. I have no resentment for people in other countries, when I visit their countries I go with a respect and reverence for their unique history, culture and customs. I research acceptable attire and easily misinterpreted gestures, and I adhere to their cultural norms as best as I can.

I have never been to Chad, in Africa. I know enough of their culture that were I to visit there and became thirsty were someone to ask me if I would like some water I am supposed to decline, even if I am very thirsty, because in Chad the person asking may not have water to give me; they are being polite and recognizing my suffering. You shouldn't accept a verbal offer of water, unless they place that water in your hand and tell you to drink it. I understand it is very rude otherwise; you have put someone in a position to give that which they may not have to spare. There are nuances in social graces and laws everywhere you can go, and those people hold them with reverence; it's their way of life, as much as the idiosyncrasies of your culture are sacred to you. It is who we are.

There's a saying that goes “You can take a girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl." it's a very popular saying everywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line and west of the Rockies. This is not the orginal saying either- it has roots in the European homelands from which White America descends. It rings as true for a southern, Wranglers-wearing American as it does for a Somalian or Pakistani or Swede. We are all products of our cultures, in a biologically deterministic manner.

"For the unbroken life of the English nation over a thousand years and more is a phenomenon unique in history, the product of a specific set of circumstances like those which in biology are supposed to start by chance a new line of evolution. Institutions which elsewhere are recent and artificial creations appear in England almost as works of nature, spontaneous and unquestioned." ~ Enoch Powell, 1961

It's true that I seek a total moratorium on immigration from 2nd and 3rd world nations and a limited immigration from other 1st world nations. It's true that I ultimately seek a homogeneous nation; but would accept the option for homogeneous neighborhoods. New York, Toronto, and most other North American cities once naturally formed such a state of being. Chinatown, the Italian Quarter, and so on. In am more comfortable with people who look and act like me, that share my values, share the effort and ethics to achieve similar goals and who respect as I respect, gesture as I gesture, and understand as I understand. This is the life of ease; which everyone seeks, in their own way.

Except, that is, for the pro-immigrant left and weak, so-called "conservatives" of the centrist persuasion. They have the audacity to claim that everyone is equal, without evidence to support and so much in the contrary. Such is their audacity that they will seek to ruin your life, take your job and your family, and, in the case of the untimely demise of Andrew Dodson, your very life, should you dare to argue or refuse to kowtow to this obvious lie. The multiculturalists have the expectation that everyone can be equal and under that assumption anyone can be picked up from any other place in the world, plopped into an American or European suburb and thrive there without the faintest idea of our laws and customs, without the desire to integrate, and without the proper preparation, and, in some cases, inoculation. The left insists the difference between people is economic opportunity and money. What a cruel way to treat another human being for the luxury of interesting cuisine and the ability to say “I love diversity, multiculturalism is great.”

In Pakistan they have a naming ceremony Where the grandfather is asked to name a newborn. Following Islamic tradition, once a name has been given, the child’s head is shaved and the weight of the hair is used to determine an equal weight in gold or silver which is then given as a charitable contribution.

In Pakistan, so stringent are the laws regarding women and men that adult single men have taken to courting young males for companionship and sex, often between the ages of 5-10 years old. Sometimes giving them gifts or money, sometimes not. The boy then becomes a man, and should a marriage not be arranged the man will commonly resort to recycling the practice that was practiced upon him. This is a rape culture. In the West, there are no such laws preventing men from socializing with women and girls. So what happens when you import thousands of nominally heterosexual cultural rape victims and their older rapists who were also rape victims who are possessed of a deeply held faith that inherently disrespects people that are not of that faith? Rotherham. You get Rotherham.

Gang-rape is the result confluence of a Western society that has few laws structuring social interactions between genders, and a group of people that require strict social codes. Yet, it's the Western people, you and I, who have bothered to learn these intricacies that are shouted down as racists because we'd prefer to not have this in our homes, and near our children. And while it is the irresponsible and ignorant masses that allow for these injustices to occur, those on the self-described right side of history advocate for it with fervor; and are lauded as tolerant and progressive, who ego-stroke their good deeds as they slurp bastardized curry dishes from within colorfully curtained restaurants nestled within their predominantly white demographic neighborhoods. They don't even feign horror when a beautiful, lively White girl is found to have been raped, chopped up and served as a meal to unsuspecting kebab shop patrons. Diversity is our strength. Freedom is slavery.

It's no secret that the Middle East has been wracked by near-continuous conflict for the entirety of our lives -and the West did not help by pouring gasoline on an oil fire. Yet, we are called racist for urging our Western countries to deny entry to individuals and families from those regions. Can a person who learned to shoot other people from the age of 5 who has become a seasoned fighter in an endless religious and regional resource war can suddenly move to White suburbia and unlearn conflict, resentment, violence, animosity and struggle just because there's electricity, an internet connection and a corner grocer? If anything the culture shock of realizing everyone around you is only passively aware of your multi-generational strife, and is patently unaware of how many acts of torture you've witnessed, relatives you've lost, heads you've seen roll, surely breeds more resentment at the ignorant Westerners and their trinkets. Of course, hashtag Not All.

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Acknowledging the differences between white and black or other PoC isn't inherently bigoted, it's just acknowledgement of biological and cultural reality. Forcing proximity, affirmative action, and other elements of social engineering upon people under threat of social ostracization and job loss creates an environment of resentment.

In this circumstance, racism from all parties is not just likely, but inevitable.

Thank you for reading Republic Standard. We publish this magazine and the Freebird Forum because we believe in free speech. Make a donation towards our running costs by clicking here.

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[lady-poppy-verona-blog]

hell is where i dreamt of you and woke up alone

“i miss the ocean, and i know it’s weird to say. i grew up there, moved to l.a.”

((aka, challenge one. mentions of @nathaniel-schreave, @mistylane059, @sailor-shone and probably others but i’m tired. title and quote creds to blackbear))

🌸

this not what she wants.

she wants to go through the selection without dealing with the chaos of old loves, attractive loves, loves she still loves. instead, she gets to deal with seeing her ex boyfriend in the place she went to get over him.

she breathes out a quiet “andrew” and power walks over to him- it’s not as if she can run in these pretty jeweled heels they’ve put her in. he looks handsome in his uniform, professional and mature. his hair isn’t tidy, but it never was. he glances over, flushing when he realizes it's her.

“poppy?” he moves to run his hand through his hair, an old nervous habit, before letting it fall to his side to maintain his appearance. “what-what are you doi…” he trails of as he realizes. “right… you were selected.” he’s obviously not happy about this, almost as if he didn’t want her to show up at all.

poppy frowns at him. “it’s almost as if you don’t want me here at all. sorry, pal, but i’m here now, so you’re gonna have to get over it.”

he winces at the word ‘pal’. “you’re right, p, i don’t want you here. i just want to do my job and get out.” he turns and starts to walk away.

“if i had known you were here, i wouldn’t have signed up,” she calls after him.

“then i guess neither of us want to see each other then,” he responds before turning a corner.

she makes a frustrated noise before turning around and thinking about her words. if i had known you were here, i wouldn’t have signed up. a total lie, obviously, but it was what she wants-no, needs- to believe to keep herself sane while she’s here. a girl- misty lane, if she remembers correctly- is walking towards her. they had talked so loud, and so many things could be insinuated. “you didn’t hear any of that, right?”

misty opens her mouth, a confused look on her face, when another voice comes from behind them. “hear what?” she glanced behind her as a younger girl walks over to them.

“no,” says misty curiously. “you’re poppy right? and sailor?”

sailor looks over at misty, almost as if she hadn’t noticed them before.  “oh, um, i am. you are?”

“misty of waverly. nice to meet you! i love your name btw.” this girl is so excited, it’s almost excruciating. poppy has never been one to be overly happy, and tends to get annoyed by people like that. suffer through, she tells herself.

sailor smiles shyly. “sailor moon, right?”

“i live for sailor moon!”

poppy tries her best to break into the conversation by being a total loser. “sorry, resident linguistics nerd,” she starts with a bit of a laugh. “it’s odd that your last name is in past tense, isn't it? where does that trace back to?” she says before realizing that hey nerd, not everyone is into etymology. “unless you don't know, which makes a lot more sense. sorry, that was an odd question.”

sailor takes it in stride, bless her. “good question. i have no clue, actually. it's my mother's last name. my father took her name.”

“same with my last name, lane,” misty says.  

poppy shrugs. “verona is from my dad, otherwise i'd be poppy mendoza.” a terrifying prospect.

the conversation begins to only revolve around sailor and misty, so poppy quietly excuses herself before a maid catches her eye. the maid rushes over to her, looking relieved. “lady poppy, i’m caroline. i’m your head maid, and i’m here to escort you to your room.”

“oh, it’s fine caroline. i know what hall it is, i’m sure i can find the room from there,” poppy says, flushing slightly. “why don’t you take a few hours off?” poppy doesn’t want to walk with this girl- not only is she still unsettled by the interaction with andrew, she’s a little pissed that she hadn’t been involved in the conversation between the other two selected.

also, caroline is fine as hell. as in, this level of attractiveness should be illegal. she’s all bright eyes, a careful and beautiful smile, pretty hair twisted into a neat braid wrapping around her head. “my lady, i’m sorry, but miss corinne-my boss- would like me too.” she brushes the front of her skirt with her hands. “if you would please follow me, i can get you there in a jiffy.”

poppy gives up and nods. at least she can walk with someone pretty. she mumbles that a jiffy is actually a sixtieth of a second, so you can’t do anything in a jiffy, but follows her without complaint. they enter her hall, noticing that she’s rather close to the stairs, before they finally get to her room. caroline opens the door revealing two more maids standing at attention in a gorgeous, yet rather sparse, room. “this is marissa,” caroline says, gesturing to a tall blonde woman, “and laurel,” her arm moving over toward a skinny, curly haired girl who doesn’t look much older than 16. they both curtsy and murmur something along the lines of “my lady.”

poppy already hates this. everytime someone calls her “lady poppy” she feels like a stuck up bitch. she’s not famous (well, she is, but still), and she’s only one caste above these ladies. she wants to tell them to just call her poppy, but she knows that it’s probably going to be “unladylike” or whatever. she can deal with it.

that’s what she’s going to tell herself his entire process, honestly. she just hopes she can keep to it.

🌸

she didn’t realize how absolutely boring etiquette could be (although she loves that word).

lady collette, a pretty woman who was introduced as a former selected (and jace’s mother), has been put in charge of making sure the selected behave themselves and don’t embarrass their country if foreign dignitaries visit.

as she talks on and on about manners and curtsies, poppy gazes out the window, starving for a more interesting activity and breakfast.

the “more interesting activity” ends up being interviews with prince nate. one by one, the girls are sent to a secluded corner to talk to him, and pretty much all of them come back smiling and giggling. poppy sits in on conversations and contributes a little before she’s called over.

nate stands up as she approaches, giving her a small bow. “hello lady poppy, i'm prince nate.”

way to state the obvious, dude.  poppy gives a slight curtsy. “salve, prince nate. how are you today?”

“i'm doing great and how are you?”

she smiles slightly. its pretty much impossible to tell the guy she’s supposed to be here to win that she’s only there to forget about an ex. “i'm doing pretty well myself. a bit of a culture shock, but overall pretty good.”

he gives her a curious glance. “what's so dramatically different for you?”

she shrugs. “i think the biggest thing is the environment. i'm so used to walking five minutes to the beach, and now it's a half hour drive from here. plus, i miss my family and friends, but an old friend of mine is actually a guard here, so that helps a little bit.” an old friend? that’s one way to put it.

“oh, who is he?”

“oh, um…” she trails off, not quite expecting a question about it. “his names andrew, andrew moore. he's only been here for a few months, though.”

“oh, i've heard his name before,” nate says with a bit of a smile.

“really?” she’s a little surprised. “that's interesting. is he high ranking or something? he doesn't really talk much about this job.”

“i'm not sure,” he says. “walking around the palace and hearing guards talk to one another, you pick up on all their names.”

she needs to change the subject. “that makes a lot more sense. this is a weird question, but i’m really interested in languages and linguistics. do you speak any foreign languages?” she didn’t need to be a fucking /loser/, but a subject was a subject.

“yeah, i can speak a little spanish and quite a bit of italian. i know phrases of others, but i can't speak them.” he gives her a gentle smile.

“i’ve always wanted to learn italian,” she says thoughtfully. “it’s very close to spanish and latin, so it would be pretty easy for me to learn.”

“are you, like, very into languages and such?” he asks, seeming like he’s actually interested.

“yeah!” poppy says excitedly. “my mom speaks four languages and passed on most of those to me. i grew up pretty much trilingual, and started learning latin and welsh afterwards.” she smiles. this is something she enjoys, unlike talking about her friends. languages have always been something she likes.

he looks impressed. “wow, trilingual. never heard that one before.”

she lists them, counting on her fingers. “english, portuguese, spanish. i kind of needed to know spanish, because most of the sevens and eights in honduragua only speak that, and portuguese for my mom’s family. some of them don’t speak english, or its very broken.”

he chuckles. “i couldn't be able to keep track of all that.”

“i do tend to switch languages in the middle of a sentence sometimes,” she starts with a laugh, “but it's fun for me. they’re all so different, but welsh is the most fun.”

“welsh,” he says with a chuckle.  “that's not one i would've expected.”

he glances over to the other girls. “sorry, but i have quite a few more girls to meet, this conversation has been wonderful.” he stands up.

she stood as well. “it's been great talking to you, eich uchelder.” she walks back to the seats with a waggle of her fingers. she’s absolutely starving. there’s a bunch of girls left, and she cannot wait for breakfast.

when that finally arrives, she’s only a few seats away from the royals. it flies by as girls whisper excitedly about their interviews and the attractive guards they’ve seen. a table away, she heard someone mention an officer moore, but as soon as she tunes in, the conversation shifts topics. she goes back to the conversation surrounding her, participating half heartedly.

🌸

it’s been three days since the interviews. they’ve been entertaining themselves in the women’s room, but god, she’s bored stiff. all there is to do is watch tv, or read, or, god forbid, talk to people. she needs to get out of there before she starts nerding out over latin roots or something.

as she walks to the powder room (even the selected need to pee), she’s pulled aside by a head of red hair and a guard uniform.

“we need to talk,” andrew whispers quietly. “soon.”

poppy nods, responding with “seven pm. my room,” before letting out a delicate laugh and saying, “why, officer, aren’t you a smart one? i can see why they would offer you a job here.” she makes her way back to the women’s room, ready to sit through the boring, repetitive conversations and old drama over and over again and waiting to see andrew.

and see him she did. she had told her maids that she had a bad headache and needed to be alone, getting the room all to herself after lunch. she reads and subconsciously counts the hours until it’s time.

running about three minutes late as usual, he finally shows up, closes the door, and sits down on her bed as she sits up, putting pillows behind her to prop up her back. “sorry i’m late.”

“it’s fine,” she responds, trying to sound casual even though she’s panicking on the inside. “what did you want to talk about?”

“well, i… fuck, i don’t know. it’s hard to explain. it’s just… god i missed you, poppy.” his face is so close to hers. she’d only have to lean over slightly to kiss him like she wants to, to go back to the way they were before july.

“i missed you too. why are you telling me this now, instead of before i signed up for this?” she asks him, a little angry but mostly excited that he’s still into her.

“because i couldn’t apologize for being such an asshole. i’m sorry, p, i didn’t want to hurt you.” he leans closer and suddenly they’re the way they used to be, fitting together almost perfectly, her arms draping over his neck and his fingers digging into her hips as she straddles him.

it’s not as though they mean to go as far as they do, but when there’s an intense romantic reunion going on, typically sex is involved. she wakes up the next morning alone, however, which would make sense considering he probably has guard-ly duties or whatever. she manages to yank herself out of bed and into the shower, blushing and giggling, and in the back of her mind, panicking.

she never notices that it didn’t feel right, that he isn’t the one, that now that she’s here, she doesn’t want him like that anymore. but god knows, poppy is a stubborn bitch, when it comes to feelings and actions, and she’s never going to admit that they’re not going to be together forever.

she’s in for a cruel awakening.

[afloatingpoint]

On Drag Queens, Sexism, and The Genderlessness of Transformation

Are drag queens sexist? A friend was telling me this weekend that she interprets their exaggerated demonstrations of "femininity" as deeply offensive to women, analogous in her mind to black face, a form of cultural appropriation that is for some reason unquestioned. I was taken aback -- drag queens are an important fixture of LGBT+ culture and history, and I had never paid them much mind -- so I decided to do a bit of online research, culminating in this essay.

Feminist journalist Kirsten Anderberg wrote in 2006: "When men dress in drag and supposedly imitate women, it is most often very sexist in a remarkably similar way to the whites imitating racial minorities… All the things I have shunned as part of the ancient ‘cult of womanhood,’ all the superficial, commercialized, and fake aspects of ‘femininity’ that I have fought to be freed from, these men were embracing as their ‘womanhood!’ Tons of make up, huge dyed bouffant hair-dos, binding lingerie, heels, nylons, shaving…and these men in drag who were supposedly acting like women, also acted giddy, stupid, shallow…it is odd to me that this could be seen as anything but blatant sexism."

Similarly, Lisa Wade, a professor at Occidental, wrote in 2015: "Sexism matters here and anyone can be sexist, even drag queens. When drag queens trot out some of the worst stereotypes about women, for example –performing characters that are vain, bitchy, selfish, and always PMSing — I see girlface. I see men mocking femininity, not embracing their feminine sides and busting the fiction of masculinity. So, I don’t blame trans women one bit if this makes them uncomfortable; it sure makes me uncomfortable and I’m in a much safer position than they."

There is obvious merit, I think, to these arguments. They feel solid. Still, I can't help but wonder if they're also overly cynical, if they go so far in their indictment of sexism that they fail to recognize the enduring appeal of a transformation. I admit that I can only speak to my own experience as a man who admires female performers and understands others' desire to approximate their gifts. When I watch Beyonce dancing in a flimsy leotard and ridiculous high heels, I can't get over how powerful and beautiful and strong she is. I don't have the talent, looks, or guts to impersonate her myself, but can I really blame anyone who does? How can you watch Beyonce perform, and not aspire to that, just a little?

I think our mistake is when we look at Beyonce in heels, a leotard, and a mask of makeup and say: that's feminine. No. I’m still figuring out personal and universal meanings and implications of femininity and masculinity, but the baroque, opaque appeal of Beyonce and pop stars like Britney and Gaga is something else, something entirely manufactured, a tenuous illusion or spell, or perhaps a suit of armor, which costs tens of thousands of dollars and is crafted and maintained by a small empire of personal trainers, makeup artists, hair dressers, and the like to create the effect many mistake as natural, or even more incorrectly, as a realistic feminine ideal. Rather, It's using glitter and lights and color to create an alternate, more brazen version of yourself, someone daring and liberated. In fact, I wonder whether "femininity" and “masculinity” are always acts of genderless drag, processes of transformation which transcend the biological sex of the individual. What if "femininity" is a myth or fiction that is shoved down women’s throats to satiate and perpetuate an exploitative beauty-industrial complex, made possible through a cultural script that mandates conformity, and which is far less determined by biology than the market would have us think?

Regardless of whether they are “feminine” or “masculine,” I believe that there's value in transformation. There’s value even in the transformations that come from the dollar store, ones that are made possible through market research, commercials, and animal testing. After all, the narrative of transformation precedes capitalism. Transformation is a major theme of Shakespeare's comedies; the paradox that the way to find yourself is to be someone else for a magical night or two. And I think that some of the most striking male performers of all time have recognized and experimented with the alien, the artificial and the transformed -- think of the "androgyny" which helped make Prince and David Bowie so unforgettable.

So is my friend wrong to interpret drag queens as misogynists who make little attempt to understand women or appeal to women? For the reasons she and writers listed above, I find myself agreeing. I've only watched RuPaul's "Drag Show" a few times, but on both instances I found myself alternating between full-belly laughing and wincing every few moments because of the performers' sexism. It's really not funny to make vaginas a constant target of opprobrium... Why are so many gays afraid of vaginas? And for that matter, why are so many straight men terrified of female anatomy? The jokes might not be problematic, if they weren't belied by fear or disgust.

Still, I wonder if it's possible for drag queens to reframe their act of drag as something beyond gender stereotypes. Their cultural contributions are important, and I want to support them as they to continue to perform and transform, to dazzle us, and to shake us out of our complacency with hilarious vulgarity. What if we stopped labeling their singular, jubilant artificiality as feminine, and what if they abstained from calling themselves women -- at least for the short time they spend performing -- in recognition that as men in a patriarchal society where women are exploited and devalued, they can never lay claim to an experience that is not theirs to label, shape, or appropriate? What if they continued to experiment with and cast off their own masculinity, transforming into something altogether different and free of labels or expectations, without dictating the labels or expectations of another group? (None of this applies, however, to those drag queens who are trans women, for to deny their right to express themselves off the stage would be to reject their right to exist as they are discovering themselves to be.) 

I remember sitting in my psychology classes, learning about what studies illustrate that "men" and "women" are like, and feeling totally alienated and misunderstood. I didn't fit in the narrow, socially-constructed box of what masculinity is supposed to mean, and I know plenty of people who share the same experience. It's for this reason that it's been such a relief to see gender delineations grow increasingly smudged this decade, to acknowledge that at least for most of us, we're not "this" or "that," but something that exists in a liminal space, kind of like Bowie or Prince -- fluid, indefinable, beyond labels.

Lisa Wade explains "It needs to be not about whether drag queens should be banned, but what drag should look like going forward. It should be about both what drag queens bring to the movement — their value in the past and the role they can play now — but also whether and how their performances contribute to a devaluation of femininity that hurts all women, cis, trans, and other."

Drag queens have already moved beyond traditional gender molds. They're not trying to blend in among women -- they aim to stand apart, to be unique, to be fabulous, to be inscrutable. Even if they draw their initial inspiration from pop stars, they would do well to remember that they're manufacturing that which is manufactured itself, which was never gendered to begin with. Moving forward, drag performers should adopt language that reflects the fluidity and ambiguity of their transformation, that delights in the glamor of lip sync and the shock of one-liners delivered as part of a stand-up set while simultaneously abstaining from harmful portrayals of what "women" are or should be like. What drag queens have to offer transcends gender stereotypes, rather than reinforces them; what they offer can complement intersectional feminism, rather than repudiate it.