#people kinda went apeshit on them for just trying to write a story

[becauseplot]

thinkin abt attempting a qphilza + qmissa qpr/nonconforming relationship fic. the idea has been living in my head rent free since like early june and ive never worked up the courage to write it bc mcyt fandom's relationship with qpr is,,,yeah,,,and a lot of the lore will be """outdated""" and i risk messing up their dynamic bc missa hasn't been on the server for a while (understandable) and im not that familiar with qmissa in general because language barrier (im trying i swear) and i LOATHE getting characters wrong but. what if. i did anyway. would ppl enjoy it.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

Hey, so I remembered in one of your earlier post you said something along the lines of souls women only really falling into the helpless victim or serious sword lady trop. And how Ema was a great subversion of it, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on

I’m making a souls-like and trying to avoid the pitfalls where I can

Btw, I love your art so much I would love to support you but I am broke

sorry i let this reply marinate in the docs for months (along with a lot of other replies like im having a catalogue of Fromsoft replies that read like thesis at this point *crying* my job is not letting me sit down and edit them) but here it is.

firstly, thank you for your message, kind encouragement already means a lot to me, so don’t worry about not being able to support me or anything ! After all I’m not putting out any new books or fan merch haha.

Here is a whole rant about Ema but somehow my grievances with how they handle Malenia's story in comparison to Messmer also pops up.

Regarding your question about Ema, I love her because of how complete her story feels and how her personal motivation and personality are written as coherently as the male characters.

She’s a war orphan who did her best to survive, learned the sword from the best swordman but with the only purpose is to kill demons. Ema saw firsthand how violence and meaningless killing did to people, so her aim can be seen as trying to offer those lost souls a mercy death, so they don’t have to suffer as a mindless demon for eternity (as in shura ending).

Yet, she's actually more interested in being a doctor & saving life and it’s not something expected of her because she’s a woman or whatnot, she chose that.

(+ she's skilled enough with the blade that it shows in her mannerism to the point Wolf, who had never seen her hold a sword, knows that she's good with one).

she was ready to kill Scuptor - someone akin to a parental figure to her, should he succumb to grief and hatred. because she loved him. not to mention she saw Tomoe - someone in a way is also her mentor, tried to take her own life, while her childhood friend Gennichiro slowly went apeshit. like that girl witnessed so many insane stuffs & they spur her to be strong & steadfast in her ideal to protect her loved ones, even when it means to lay them to rest by her own hands.

her dialogue in Shura ending "maybe i should have killed you long ago" feels like being punched in the guts to me, because she knew Wolf turning out that way meant that somewhere along the way, all of them had failed him, had ignored the signs that all the killings he was tasked to carry out was taking a toll on him. And so she took upon herself the responsibility to offer him a mercy death, even as it broke her heart.

It’s the passionate drive and decisions made as her own person, not out of blind devotion to another character, and how much we know of that because the game let us find more about her, that makes her stands out from the epic sword lady category, while the violence and steely resolve she was capable of makes her stands out from the helpless maiden one.

-kinda lose the plot here with Elden Ring rant jumping out-

This is one of the main points I have about the difference between Messmer and Malenia, how even though their stories parallel each other, I think Messmer has the better writing and gets a more complete story. He’s super devote to Marika, but in his own way, not what Marika wants of him. Evidently with how he still fights the Tarnished because he deems us unworthy, despite knowing Marika sanctioned us for Lordship.

We see a lot of sides to him outside of just a filial son, his rage and sorrow and love and a moment of stubborn selfishness that results in him willingly become a curse that clings to Marika than to let go. We see his relationship with other characters and even though his love for Marika outweighs all else, it doesn’t negate completely others that exist outside of it.

And precisely because of that, it’s more heartbreaking to see despite all these connections he has with other people, he yearns to be reunited with his Mother above all else. That kind of devotion is more hard hitting to me than the writing for the Empyrean twins.

Like, Malenia…. outside of Finnlay (whose description says more about herself than shedding any new light on Malenia) and the mentor that we actually don’t even know much about yet, what are other personal connection she has outside of Miq? I could argue the Marika’s Soreseal in the Haligtree was meant for her and that she still loved her Mother in some kind of way all I want, but at the end of the day that’s a headcahon I have to theorize from item placement, and not many ppl will notice that. We don’t know for sure what Malenia thinks of anyone else but her twin and it drives me up the wall.

Another comparison I want to bring up is DS2 Lucatiel.

I fr think even Lucatiel gets a better story arc than Malenia, despite also largely being shaped by her relationship with her brother.

Loss frightens me no end. Loss of memory, loss of self. If I were told that by killing you, I would be freed of this curse… Then I would draw my sword without hesitation. I don't want to die, I want to exist. I would sacrifice anything, anything at all for this. It shames me, but it is the truth. Sometimes, I feel obsessed… with this insignificant thing called "self". But even so, I am compelled to preserve it. Am I wrong to feel so? Surely you'd do the same, in my shoes?

She is trying to find her brother, but at the same time wrestling with her own troubles and limitations. We get to know a lot of her own motivation and her fear. I mean one could argue that it's because she's an NPC while Malenia is a boss, but the same thing could also be said for Messmer like I explained above.

-back to Ema-

As the extra sauce, I love that Ema boss music has such layers to it. the theme of her - someone clinging to her humanity to the very end because she has ppl love & support her, also acts as an elegy for Wolf's lost of humanity, of him not being able to escape the abuse trauma he grew up in. its opening instrument also appears in Demon of Hatred's OST. Her presence and theme affects other characters’ life, and we get to see her marks on a personal level in the story’s overarching narrative.

Which is the same as how Marika’s presence is everywhere in the Elden Ring OST, that little soft piano. A little in Radagon’s theme, in Shaman’s Village, in the final DLC boss ost where the female vocals starts belting out “Hail, Marika the Eternal”, in a boss arena where she had walked through to scavenge the remains of her fallen family and ascended to an existence she knew would kill her all the same, but she would do it again every single time. Walking down that hell with her eyes wide open.

When a character that could get me to write paragraphs about like that… man you know how much the writing cooks.

[kayentokk]

He Will Always Be There

-Pairing; Geto Suguru x Fem! Reader

-Synopsis; Your classic best friend love story, where the boy watches the girl date asses and then finally confesses. 

-Contains; slow burn(?), kisses, cheating, fluff, mutual pinning(kinda), friends to lovers, hurt comfort, Suguru being fine asf

-wc; 2k

-A/N; Honestly idek where I pulled this one from. Prolly cuz of all the JJK stuff goin on rn, and I really wanted to try writing one of those cliche tropes lol. 

You were throwing a party, fun right? Yeah no, you didn’t think you’d have to constantly check on the overly drunk college students who would always just barely make it to the bathroom in time. You also didn’t think that while ushering one into the bathroom you’d find your boyfriend, and some girl making out.  

At first when you looked up and saw the scene you were confused, but then you remembered the drunk girl and you really didn’t want her to like in your apartment. So you shooed them out the way and lifted the toilet seat for her too…you know.

You grabbed a hair tie off of your counter and tied her hair back for her, because girlie rules 101, and then made your way into the living room which was basically just a crowded sea of drunk people. You were so zoned out that you didn’t even hear your boyf-ex-boyfriend talking to you the whole time. You only became conscious when he made a grab at your arm.

“Babe, come on you know it wasn’t like that we were just-“

“Drunk?”

“Yeah babe, I promise, she doesn’t even mean anything to me,” just then the girl emerged from the bathroom.

“Really? Because that’s not what you said the last three times,” and with that she walked off.

You chuckled, not even knowing how to react at this point. You decided you’d had enough of this party. Ignoring your ex’s insistent babbling, you grabbed the microphone from the people doing karaoke. 

“HEY! Everybody! Attention, Attention please.”

When the room got quiet you stood on the table, and said the one thing that makes all college students scatter from a party. 

“My parents are surprise visiting tonight, so everybody out! Take your empty cups and throw them away! Take Ubers don’t drunk drive, and take all the food and snacks you want!” You said while the heard of students rushed out the door with all the food and snacks they could. 

Efficient, you thought. When you got down from the table you immediately went to cleaning up, completely ignoring your ex, who was apparently still talking. You were only a little tipsy but couldn’t help feeling annoyed and still zoned out.

“Listen,” you said cutting him off. “I don’t need to hear your “explanation,” okay? It’s simple, I didn’t put out so you found it somewhere else.”

“No I swear that’s not how-“

“Can you just go?”

���Babe-“

At this point you were about to loose your shit, why couldn’t he just fucking leave? Just then, saving you from your troubles, your best friend emerged from the bathroom holding the drunk girl, who was puking in your toilet, up.

He stood tall and brooding, with his all black get up on, over your now ex, “Listen man, a word of advice, I’d leave before she goes apeshit on you,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

It took your ex a minute to take in the sight. A lean but muscular figure in black sweatpants and a hoodie that had neon purple accents on the front, a clean shaved face with perfectly slanted piercing black orbs, and beautiful long flowing hair. When he finally got his thoughts together he responded.  

“Who the fuck are you? I can handle my girl-“

Before he could even say anything in response, you started laughing. Everybody’s head turned to you, even the drunk girl, because you seriously couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Get. Out.” Was all you said after you caught your breath, and that time he got the hint.

“We’ll talk about it! I’ll text you,” he said not getting the blatant message that you didn’t want to talk and that you guys were done. 

Just before he walked out the door though, your friend handed him the drunk girl with a gruff, “Make sure she gets to her dorm asshat.”

After they left, you sighed and continued throwing the empty cans into the garbage bag, and after a minute of watching you incessantly clean your friend grabbed the broom and started sweeping the floor. 

He didn’t ask you what happened, because he saw, and he didn’t make you talk about it, you would tell him soon enough when you felt like it. There wasn’t any uncomfortable silence between the two of you either. You didn’t have to constantly worry about what he was thinking, you didn’t have to not be yourself, and you didn’t have to worry about him dropping you for the “next best thing.” 

You liked that, It was peaceful, and he knew it. Deep down he’d do anything you asked of him, just to keep you happy. He did have to admit though it was killing him that he didn’t punch that asshole ex of yours, same with all of your other exes. 

Ever since you were old enough to date, it was like the classic boy best friend story, he watched you date people who weren’t good enough for you, you guys broke up, he swooped in to comfort you. This time though, he could tell something was different, you didn’t show any sign that something was wrong. Maybe you weren’t that upset-

As soon as he paused sweeping to think he heard it. Over the clanking of the trash in the garbage bag you were holding, he heard it and it almost ripped him to shreds from the inside out. You were sobbing, your body softly shaking, and your chest heaving. He’s seen you cry before, and it always hurt some part of him deep down. 

He makes his was over to you, long strides full of urgency and worry. You almost didn’t notice he had left his spot in the kitchen until he took the trash bag from your hand and set it down. He tugged gently at your arm until you turned to face him. Your pretty eyes all puffy and red, your nose sniffling to find breaths, and your plump lips merged into a pout. Even while crying he thought you looked pretty. 

He pulled you into his body, hands engulfing your back, while you sobbed with your face squished into his hoodie. Somewhere along the way he had brought you into your bathroom and propped you up onto the counter. 

Finally pulling your head out of his chest you noticed the tear stains and shiny lip gloss that was smeared into it. 

“M’sorry Sugu, your hoodie s’all messed up now.”

He just gave you a slight smile while grabbing the makeup wipes from the cabinet behind your head. 

God, he must think you’re so pathetic, constantly having to clean up after you and always having to reassure you. That must get so tiring, especially because you’re constantly dating fuck-boys who don’t really care about you and when those relationships end…well, this happens. 

You’re slightly tipsy when you ask, so you’ll just blame it on the cheap liquor later but you really wanted to know, “Sugu, why are you still here?”

Because, that’s what friends are for.

“Because I was helping you clean,” he says feigning ignorance while wiping off the remnants of your smudged makeup.

“No like, like- here” you were getting frustrated, the words weren’t coming out correctly. He knew what you meant though. 

“Because,” he gruffly replied. 

I want to be here for you. 

“Because?”

I care about you.

“Because.”

I love you. 

“S’not and answer,” you said with a pout.

“Why not?”

“Because, it’s just not.”

A low rumble came from him then, and when you saw he was laughing at your response, you couldn’t help but laugh too. 

When he was done you hopped off the counter and walked into your room collapsing on your comfy carpet. Your arms and legs were spread out like a starfish, you looked silly.

“What are you doing?”

You didn’t respond, just scooted over and patted the spot next to you. He reluctantly laid down next to you. His arms propped up behind his head gazing up at your bedroom ceiling. It was pretty at night, because of the cute stars and constellations lighting your ceiling. 

After a while you broke the silence.

“Sugu?”

“Hm,” he grunted turning his head to face you.

“Promise you’ll always stay?” It felt like a stupid question. People break promises all the time, you knew that first handedly. So you’ll blame it on being tipsy again. 

To Geto the answer to that question was obvious, of course.

“Who else would help you clean up after all these ragers you’re throwing?” He said in a joking manner. 

You wanted to throw a fit about how that’s not what you meant and he knew it, but in a way you knew what he meant. So you were content with his answer. 

“The stars on my ceiling are dimming, you’ll have to help me replace them again, it’s such a shame because they’re so pretty.”

“Yeah, such a shame, so pretty.” 

You turned onto your side facing him, but he was already looking at you. You swear you saw his eyes sparkle at that moment, and you started into a fit of laughter. 

“What? I got somethin’ on m’face?”

“No,” you said through giggles and when you finally calmed down you said without thought, “I love you.”

You shocked yourself, maybe you weren’t just tipsy, maybe you were more drunk than you thought. A slight gasp came out of your mouth and your hands immediately went to cover it. Geto’s pupils dilated and an unreadable look crossed his face.

With the countless thoughts running through your head, the main one was why the fuck did I just say that? You can’t exactly blame this one on being drunk. 

You hurriedly sat up and turned to him, “I-I mean in like a best friend way you know? Cuz like friends say that to each other, of-of course I don’t expect you to say it back or anything like that I just was-,” you nervously rambled on. 

When you stopped, you noticed he too was sitting up now and way closer to you. When did that happen? 

You cleared your throat and just gave a final, “I’m sorry-“ but before you could finish his lips were on yours. 

It was a slow, tender kiss. His soft lips on your plump previously glossed ones was the perfect mix. When he pulled away you almost followed, holding back a whine from coming out. 

“I love you too.”

Was all he said and you sat, one again, in comfortable silence. Just gazing at each other. You don’t know why you’ve never noticed before, the way he looked at you, but it’s apparent now. It’s apparent, and you couldn’t be happier. 

Except for now, all the thoughts are going through your head. What happens to us after this? What if we break up- well are we actually together? Does this ruin our friendship?

He could tell that lots of things were running through your head because you facial expression changed into one of worry. Trying to calm you he reached his hand up to your face and stroked your cheek. Your gaze was now back on him and you thoughts had ceased.

“What are you worried about?” He asked, quietly as if he couldn’t be any louder.

“Well, you’ve always been my friend….and now-,” you sighed frustrated. “Now, everything’s different..”

“Do you regret me kissing-“

“No! No, it’s just- most of my past relationships haven’t been the best…you’ve seen. Our relationship was the only one I could always count on…don’t you think it would be different?”

“Hmm,” he said pondering, “I see.”

“But- but I still-“

“I know,” he said removing his hand from the side of your face. “It would change our relationship quite a bit…”

He didn’t know what to say, all he could think was shit he fucked this up. He didn’t want to come on too strong, and he definitely didn’t want your relationship to be tarnished just because you started dating, did you even want to date him?

You quickly stopped his thoughts by saying, “but I want to try.” 

The silence was back, but this time it was full of relief. You guys didn’t know what the relationship would bring, or if it would even turn out the way you hoped, but you knew one thing. That Suguru would always be there. 

@/cafekitsune for the divider

[moroneur]

Gaster x Yn but..

Yall i literally dreamt about this. MC and YN are 2 different people. Basically YOU Yn are supposed to be the side character of MC's Story where she dates all the skeleton boys (og + alternates) and you kinda just.... third wheel at them all. Like imagine theyre at a beach that MC invited Yn to and no one is paying attention to them or eve hanging out with them bc The skeleboys just cant help but gush over their s/o. Which is fine, theyve got a healthy relationship and all but like why invite yn when ur not even gonna hang out with them amirite.

SO even while the skele-household decided not to mess with the mashine anymore (as it has been years since the start of these transportations and everyone kinda gave up) tHE MASHINE STARTS WORKING AGAIN and this time is spews out the original Gaster, but he's in a form of a puddle and Y/n gets invited to the skelehousehold for an event or whatever and Y/n just decides oh ok this piece of puddle is my friend now i shall call it 'Doctor' and gie it a tour of the house and try and feed it yep.

OFC Gaster doesnt really stay a puddle, he rehabilitates himself and evoles into the melted form we know from the game. He doesn't really go outside of his room, focused on making his form evolution or whatever go by quicker but Y/n is curious and decides to check in on him. Oh shit.jpg he starts speaking windings and ur like oh shit new language let me learn and he kinda teaches u wingdings?????????? He just shows them the alphabet and they just write it down on their laptop with pictures! aand they learn that way. yes. Y/n is a college dropout and works as a photographer but can learn some real good shit when they want to and are actually interested in the topic.

Maybe this'll be a slow burn..... like AN EXTREME slowburn...

His next form is a younger version of himself. Looking very young there my sir hohohoo anyways-- He starts calling Y/n his assistant and they become close acquaintances, with Gaster being set on being on good terms with u. One day y/n's over and he figures out that NO ONE TALKS TO THIS MAN. it has beeen months and none of the other skeletons other than the original just-- dont fucking speak to him?? so Gaster is lonely in a full house of skeletons instead of alone in the void and u decide wtf thats not how you treat my homie so you decide to confront the hosuehold and WOW the rough skeles have some trauma bc of their shitty gaster well ok wow how does y/n work this out??? WHY OF COURSE LET'S BAKE COOKIES GASTER HAHAHAHA!!!!

My guy immediately agrees but is also set on figuring out the ABSOLUTE BEST recipe for cookies, that everyone would like. So he spend one entire day researching what ingredients are best and which amount and which way of baking it would be ideal-- HE WENT ALL SCIENCE RESEARCH ON THIS SHIT. ok ok ok ok wow thats so cool1!!!! Next day they bake yippee!!! Mid first batch u get a call from ur roomate who tells u they broke ur laptop and u just go irrationally apeshit and MC being so close to u knows how to comfort u so gaster and the skeles have a chat while u and MC work things out hahahahaha THERES MORE IDEAS THAT I HAVE BUT THIS WILL BE ALL FOR NOW I WAS ALSO THINKING ABOUT GASTER MEETING THE EX KING AND QUEEN AND STUFF YEYEYEY

[charged-wanderlust]

Lovestruck asks! 🎂If you could design you own MCs personality, what would they be like? 🍑If you could design you own LIs personality, what would they be like? and 🎸What’s you favourite trope for a romance? :D

🎂If you could design you own MCs personality, what would they be like?

GLAD YOU ASKED! im not sure if everyone who follows me is already aware, but i'm currently working on a project called No Honour Among Thieves, @nohonourvn here on tumblr and on twitter. part of my wanting to even create such a game as NHAT was the fact that i struggled so hard to see myself in most vn mcs - ones that were visibly pictured could never do it, since im genderfluid and poc with alt fashion, so asking for an mc that looked like me was a reach so far i had to stretch first, and ones that didn't show an mc visually would usually be extremely plain - since if they dont show the mc they usually do it so everyone can project onto the mc, and they try to give them no personality either for the same reason.

personally, though, i find a personality-less mc extremely boring and would rather an mc i cant project onto visually than one with the personality of a wet sock. so, with my mc for NHAT, i decided to leave them faceless so people can design them any way they want, but im working on giving them a pretty distinct personality so they fit into the world i've created better.

nhat mc, or as i like to call them, The Villain, is confident, witty, takes no shit from no one unless they have something to gain from it, a bit materialistic, a bit of a glory whore, definitely a bit of an overthinker/overanalyser, kind of a flirt sometimes, competitive, perceptive, just a liiiittle bit of a tsundere, and very, very good at acting. (i mean, they're a professional con artist, they kind of have to be.)

the good thing about the villain is that because the entire plotline is based around a con, keeping secrets, n having your own agenda, even if you can't really relate to the mc much, you can always write it off as it being part of the act, the persona the mc wears for the job and for self preservation. obviously that only goes so far, but i think it gives a bit more freedom to players on what they want their villain to be like in actuality.

🍑If you could design you own LIs personality, what would they be like?

i already have B) i basically took all my favourite things about all my favourite LI's and split them into two characters: Xanthe Wilde and Mercury Jackson. Navin and Siren, the two major side characters who may or may not become love interests depending on the success of the eventual kickstarter relaunch, came later - long after i'd developed xancury and basically came into fruition while i started writing. they were originally just random names picked (navin was from a random name generator and siren was the first name that came to my head at the time) to be the contractor/xanthe's bitter ex, and the informant. hell, originally there wasn't even an informant at first, siren was just a name navin drops so the mc can recognise him as a power player, but i went back to it to flesh her out later. navin's character just kind of created itself when i started writing the prologue.

xanthe was the first one i created - when i went "what do i want my visual novel to be about?" the first thing i came up with was "i want to do a twist on seducing the hot mafia boss." the first twist was making them nonbinary, that was a must for me, then i decided to make them the type of flirty, shameless and highkey kinda evil character i enjoy knocking down a peg. naturally, i had to layer him with enough trust issues to fill an ocean, for the sake of the ✨slow burn✨ that i love so much, and make him slutty enough so it can feel like a whirlwind at the same time. they're so fun.

mercury came up when i was trying to figure out what this mafia boss story was going to be like. ive always been a slut for enemies to lovers, and figured that even if xanthe and the villain were TECHNICALLY enemies, bc the villain has to act like they like xanthe for most of the story, it wouldnt come with the same tension as straight-up hating each other. hence, the idea of a ferocious bodyguard came in - along with all the other traits i like in LI's that i didn't put into xanthe, like being brash, aggressive, blunt and rowdy. just a tad bit apeshit.

i could describe them more, or you can read about them on the kickstarter page or even just play the demo yourself.

🎸What’s you favourite trope for a romance?

*violently bangs pots and pans together* ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!! maybe its the sexual tension. maybe its knowing that someones seen you at your utter worst and still decides to love you anyway is both romantic and something i desperately crave bc of the trauma and deeply ridden insecurity. maybe its maybelline. but god theres so many flavours of enemies/rivals to lovers and theyre all my favourite.

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” ���oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

[bigskydreaming]

Like, the thing you guys gotta understand is my loud opinions are far more defense mechanism than they are “I think I am right and nobody else is ever and people should listen to me only.”

Nah. They’re literally just me being as loud and as visible with the stuff that matters the most to me as is possible....because that actually minimizes the flack I catch for y’know...stuff I’m truly passionate about believing.

For example, my online behavior and tendencies in fandom on tumblr specifically....were largely shaped by my experiences in Teen Wolf fandom. Where I started out being as civil as possible wherever possible, and gradually got louder and angrier over time because THAT DIDN’T MATTER. Its why tone policing is bullshit, through and through. Because the real issue was never HOW I was saying what I was saying, it was what I was saying at all.

See, I flat out don’t like the fandom fave Stiles, as he’s portrayed on the show, and never did. Not from day one. He bothered the fuck out of me from the pilot. And this is a very controversial opinion in TW fandom, and was far more so back when I was first becoming ‘known’ in fandom, whatever the fuck that means or is even worth (seriously, its not worth a lot. You guys, stop putting so much weight in the visibility of more ‘well known’ bloggers....that doesn’t directly translate into the influence you think it does, especially when those bloggers are still holding what the majority of a fandom deems ‘unpopular’ opinions).

But back in my early TW days, I wasn’t really ‘known’ at all, for my blog and my opinions on the show. I was better known for my fics, which at the beginning, I was writing and updating fairly quickly. I’ve published somewhere just shy of 100,000 words of TW fanfic....and the vast majority of that was all written in just the first year or two in fandom.

And the thing is, for people who just found me on Ao3 and not on my blog originally....they weren’t as immediately aware of my bias against Stiles. Because I hate bashing ANY characters in fic. Even ones I don’t like, because the point of fanfic for me, is to FIX my personal issues with the source material, improve on the things *I* especially dislike....so even though I dislike Stiles on the show, in my better known TW fics, he was still present, and I was still trying to be as true to his core characterization as possible, WHILE addressing what I considered his core problem areas.

The kicker being.....a LOT of Stiles-fans LIKED my fanfic depiction of Stiles. A lot of S/terek fans included. You look at my TW fics like Where Wild Things Are or Lightning Crashes in particular....you’re gonna find a LOT of comments from self-proclaimed S/terek fans and Stiles stans....and those are just the ones I didn’t delete when I was forced to aggressively moderate my comments when a lot of those same commenters got loud and angry at me.

Which they did see....once they started connecting my Ao3 account to my blog, and my opinions on the show in general, which were starting to be more widespread in fandom due to some better known mutuals. I mean, its not like it was a big secret. My Ao3 pen name for my Teen Wolf fic is bigskydreamin’. It....wasn’t really anything I felt I needed to clarify, lmao.

But once people realized that the very same writer they liked for his take on Stiles very vocally disliked the show’s Stiles because of behaviors and scenes that I quote unquote deemed abusive (which I do, and stand by to this day).....they went fucking APESHIT on me. Like.....I can not even TELL you the extent of the nasty comments, anons, emails and reviews I got from some of the very same people who previously were glowing in their praise of my fics, especially the Stiles scenes.

All because I didn’t like the show’s depiction of certain behaviors and toxic dynamics, and set out to improve these things in my fic while being true to the characterizations....and which they had LIKED....until they realized my take didn’t come from a place of “oh I think Stiles is just the best.”

And then the fateful day came when one of them flat out asked me why I didn’t ship S/terek and if I would ever write S/terek....

And I had the balls to answer honestly. LOL. I wasn’t even insulting or offensive...just blunt. I told the person that I have serious issues with S/terek because of the power dynamics and the way they’re romanticized within fandom and most fics rather than called out and addressed, and I said I would never have any interest in tackling these topics myself in any kind of S/terek fic because my own past with abuse makes the ship just inherently unappealing to me because of how I perceive it, and I feel zero desire to ‘fix’ a thing I wouldn’t want on any level to begin with.

And they went and told all their friends and lol, RIP the rest of my TW years - and this was probably back in like, Year Two of my time in TW fandom. For a more accurate estimate, look for when I lost the will to update my big fics, because like. What was the point? Any positive reaction I got from updates at the time was just drowned out by the hate I got for adding to a story many of them were still reading, judging by the way my hit counts were still pretty steady with what they’d been with previous updates.....but that at the same time, they were heaping all kinds of shit on me for just....having opinions they didn’t like at the same time as I wrote stuff they still DID like.

The juxtaposition of those two things....lol. Man. Its a trip, I’ll tell you that.

And to be honest, the same thing has been happening ever since I started being more involved in Batfandom. You guys know how I reblog a lot of my own posts? That’s not something I used to do like, ever in TW fandom...because all the content I was making then was fresh. But I’ve always been a fan of Dick Grayson even while I was knee deep in TW fandom, so my longtime followers can tell you....I’ve been making these posts about him all along. A lot of my more popular Dick Grayson posts were written years ago, before I started getting active in this fandom....which only really happened over last summer. 

And the difference in TONE in a lot of my posts, is a lot of the ‘tamer’ posts.....which express the exact same viewpoints I have as in my more heated posts.....is because my ‘tamer’ posts were written as one-offs that I just wrote in passing while in a fandom that generally didn’t have any interest in my Batfamily musings....which did not at all stop me from still making those posts from time to time....because I don’t post ANYTHING for the sake of getting notes. Its literally just shit that’s on my mind, that I want to put out there for people to do whatever the hell they feel like doing with them. 

And so most of the posts I reblog, that seem more ‘mild’....its because I wrote them years ago, they got like maybe ten notes at the time, lol, and I’m reblogging them now because I have more of a platform and think they’d still be of interest to fans of that content specifically....but the stark tone difference is because when I wrote THOSE....nobody was jumping on my back the second I hit post to tell me how obviously wrong and stupid I was for not getting this or that or that and having this opinion on this character or just “caring too much about fictional characters.”

Like, you get what you give, people. You throw shit at me, eventually, I’m gonna start throwing shit back, and no, you don’t get to be pissed about that when all the evidence is there that I’m MORE than capable AND willing to have a good time just by myself....and more than happy to have people join in....as long as nobody’s being a douchebag. But if you get your douchebaggery on and start making my life hell....I’m gonna start raising my voice, because that shit fucking sucks.

The sheer vitriol I got for simply stating that I have no interest in writing a S/terek dynamic I see as inherently toxic due to the inherent power imbalances, BECAUSE of my own history as an abuse and rape survivor, which I was frank about.....it blows my mind. People are literally OFFENDED that in response to questions THEY asked me, I said....I do not like this thing, because of how it affects my feelings about my own trauma. 

Like, for years I have gotten monthly hatemail in my asks for spreading toxicity and hate through the TW fandom and ‘hurting real abuse/rape survivors by misleading people and calling S/terek pedophilic and misusing terms like that’....

And the utterly hilarious thing (in that not at all sort of way), is I have never ONCE called S/terek pedophilic, or anyone who ships it a pedophile. Never. Once!

You know why? Its not even because of my own personal view on whether or not that’s an accurate label for that ship....its because IT WASN’T EVEN RELEVANT TO THE SPECIFIC CRITICISMS I’VE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON MAKING.

Like, I literally never even got AROUND to expressing whether or not I thought that was a label that applies to that ship, because I’ve always had plenty of thoughts just purely on the specific power imbalances as I break them down in my view of that pairing....REGARDLESS of what you label those power imbalances. I don’t fucking CARE about the terminology. My concern has never once been what the fuck you call it, so I never made it ABOUT what anyone calls it, and purely focused on why I think it isn’t healthy just in specific terms.....and yes, pulled from my own personal experience and knowledge of abuse to back up why I feel that way, and to clarify why I feel so strongly about it.

But does any of this matter? Nope. Because all people cared about when directing hate my way for my oh so controversial opinions was not what was accurate to my views, but what was effective in discrediting them.

And the same shit is already happening in Batfandom, and its obnoxious, and tired, and yeah, its why I’m already kinda coming out of the gate hot and heavy, because within like....less than two months of me starting to post more regularly about Batfam specific content and getting some followers who have large fandom presences and boosted my posts to a pretty broad fandom circulation....

Its like, welcome to TW fandom, rinse and repeat.

Hardly any of the actual flack I’ve gotten in this fandom so far has anything whatsoever to do with my opinions on the Batfam....its almost all about the fact that I don’t like noncon/pedophilia/incest fics and am critical of the permissive attitude fandom spaces have cultivated around this stuff. And of the fact that I think the culture of false positivity fandom spaces try to enforce at the expense of marginalized fans who try to speak up about their experiences with racism and other forms of oppression and bigotry online, like, is similarly bullshit. Like, the thing people don’t like me for most of all, is that I’m LOUD and OPINIONATED about saying that these things specifically, fucking suck, and here are my own personal experiences that make me feel that way.

And notice the lack of actual argument with my actual posts. Notice how its all about ME....my volume....my ‘irrationality’....my obvious mental health issues (I’ve heard that one a couple times already, lol - no shit, I’m ADHD, have longterm PTSD, and a literal lifetime’s worth of trauma I’m still actively unpacking and sorting through, lol, what the fuck was the revelation in me having mental health issues? I’m not shy about it, and I don’t use it as an excuse for being an asshole.....guess what? I’m an asshole sometimes, and I can absolutely point to when and where I’ve been one. I’m not hiding it, and I’m not hiding behind mental illness).

Plus, y’know there’s my ‘fake wokeness’ because a white man can’t have any possible reasons or experiences that lead to him choosing to prioritize supporting people of color in fandom over other white people while still firmly being motivated by things that are born of his own life and his own lane, and just *gasp* happen to make me care more about certain shit than other white people do, like.....I’m as transparent as I am about my feelings and motivations for a REASON. I’m not UNAWARE of any of this or how I come across.....the thing so many of you don’t get is that none of this is a multiple choice test where you have to circle the right answer and you pass, you’re a good ally or a good influence or a good person.....all of this is just life. Its just us all making choices and everyone else reacting to those choices in whatever the hell way they choose. 

I’m not trying to win any points with anybody.....if I DID care about cultivating my own influence in fandom, I MORE than have the communication skills to couch my most controversial opinions in language that would be more palatable to the MOST influential corners of fandom, draw more people in, be less alienating or distancing to people who have a kneejerk defensive reaction to a lot of the things I say....like, however influential I may or may not be in various fandoms and various fandom circles....I am perfectly aware of how I could say or do things differently to have MORE influence in broader reaching circles....I just fucking hate that kind of game playing. 

I’m the opposite of trying to win points....I just want the people who are around me and who follow me to actually RESPECT me enough to fucking listen to me and what I have to say....because otherwise, how do either of us even benefit? What’s the point? Who’s gaining anything from any interaction?

So yeah. I’m loud, and vocal, and opinionated....I say exactly what’s on my mind and I don’t apologize for it. I’m an asshole to people who are an asshole to me first, and sometimes I fuck up and I’m an asshole to people who don’t deserve it. And if you call me on that and I pull my head out of my ass soon enough to notice in time that you’re right and I owe you an apology, I’ll do that! And if you don’t want to call me on it and choose to take the offense I caused as a reason not to follow me or interact with me any further....that’s perfect valid and understandable too, and absolutely your right! Do what you need to do for you!

But the one thing that will never ever ever win you any points with me and that I just despise more than anything....is the fundamental lack of awareness, and lack of respect for me and what I’ve lived through....that the S/terek readers of mine who started the chain of events that led to me settling on my current approach to interacting with fandoms.

That thing where some people in various fandoms think its perfectly acceptable and reasonable to like some of my fan content....but then get pissed and upset with me because I don’t like all of the same things you do, think all of the things you do, and am judgmental about various ships you might have or fics you might read or write......and then take this out on me.

Nuh uh. Not okay. Never okay. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, I DO NOT SIT THERE AND TAKE THAT SHIT.

Because the thing the people this describes seem incapable or unwilling to grasp is....

For all your talk of “don’t like/don’t read” and telling me and other survivors to take responsibility for curating our own fandom content and experiences and avoiding things that might trigger us....

Even when I TRY and do that to the absolute BEST of my ability.....some of you still get pissed at me and go on the offensive because I don’t want to interact or be around certain content or people who are inspired to create that content....because of what it brings up for me, because of my various past traumas.

Like, that’s what it boils down to, IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. People liking what I have to say, until I say I don’t like something they don’t like and here’s why....and then its open fucking season, because how dare I not want to associate with them because that association is likely to expose me to triggering things they also at the same time expect me to take responsibility for avoiding, so as not to blame anyone else for my exposure to such things.

Can you please maybe understand why that fundamentally DOES NOT FUCKING WORK??

And is not only utterly unreasonable, but offensive to ask of someone who’s just trying to participate in fandom and have a good time and simply STATE when and where relevant, that there are things that impact my ability to have a good time, just as there are things that impact the ability of other fans to enjoy themselves alongside you as well?

Or are we ever going to get around to some people admitting that their fandom experiences have absolutely nothing to do with caring about the ‘community’ people swear up and down exists, and solely prioritize their own personal enjoyment, and FUCK everyone else? (While meanwhile, also being all: but why aren’t they making more of the stuff that I at least was enjoying when they weren’t bitching about not having fun here?’ LOL. Can’t ever forget that part.)

Its just.

You all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. And that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere, because I have as much right to be here as anyone, and I DO still manage to have a good time a lot of the time in spite of this crap, but that’s never gonna stop me from saying I have a right to have more of a good time and less of a literally triggered time, if any of you might ever care to prioritize that for me as much as you ask me to prioritize your good times for you.

This isn’t me doing anything other than saying....you all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. Because sometimes, I just want to say that. Sometimes, it feels good to say that. And at every time, I have every damn right to say that in any way, shape or form I want to say it, at any volume I want to say it at, because none of this is me yelling at anyone, it is every single one of us sitting safe and comfortable in front of a screen of some kind, reading someone else express themselves and deciding how we want to take that expression and what’s being expressed, and how we want to react or not react in turn.

Like....just...its that fucking simple. That is literally all so much of this fucking ‘discourse’ is. People experiencing life in different ways than other people, and some people wanting to improve their experiences, some people wanting their experiences to stay just the way they are, some people wanting to ignore every experience that doesn’t fit their expectations or desired interactions, and other people just.....idk, just being fucking high, let’s face it, half the shit on this site is just plain weird and I like to assume the best of humanity and just chalk it up to half this site’s user base being high as fuck most of the time they post, LOL. 

*Shrugs* Congrats if you actually read all the way through to the end of this post....like....this is where I reiterate...I have ZERO expectations for this post. I have NO clue how people will react to it, how many or how few people will take it in the way I want it to be taken, especially because *I* don’t even know how I want it to be taken or what I would like to come of it. This is literally just me saying shit that is on my brain in response to my own personal experiences on this site and in this fandom. It is utterly, 100% up to you guys to decide what you do with it from here.

If I have one want for all fandoms, I guess it would just be.....for people to look to their own behavior and motivations and choices and take responsibility for their own shit before projecting onto other people and expecting them to do all of that while still refusing to do any of it themselves.

Too many people keep trying to drive one way on what are supposed to be two-way streets, and being shocked when that repeatedly results in collisions, pileups, accidents and blatant hit and runs.

We all live in a society.

Quit treating other members of that society like they only exist to cater to your existence alone.

[jimlingss]

I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭

if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง

I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....

[SPOILER ALERT] 

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*

Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.

Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....

I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.

Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!

Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg

kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜

ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA 

Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened

:O :O

Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*

pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O

Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?

hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))

Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing

Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it

Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem

THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!

a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.

Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon

hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol

Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.

oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it! 

Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.

I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!

Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)

haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right?  :D 

Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?

oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.

tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS

Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.

((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))

[in-a-slanted-outhouse]

for the fic ask game: 5. Is there any scene you're excited about writing?

Oooooo! Thanks for the ask Noa!

Yes! I have a couple things that I’m very excited about writing. I know it says scene but I ended up just writing about things I’m excited about writing as a whole. Sorry it’s kinda long lmao. I'm putting it under read more

There are a couple scenes in icttwya that I think are cool. I’ll go in order of when they show up. One of them is a bit of an elaboration on some things that happened prior to the fic which I guess is brought up briefly in chapter three. I’m excited to write that because Allison gets very upset and angry and I’m excited to explore that a little bit. Not really much for me to say about it because it’s a fairly new thing I’ve added but it’s going to be in the next chapter.

I’m quite excited about people finding out what happened to Five and why he basically went apeshit because in my mind it’s kind of an “ohhhh” and then “oh dear” moment y’know. I have been waiting for that moment for literal months. I actually saw a post today and I was like 'if anyone who's read icttwya sees this post then they will totally be onto me lmao.' Was almost tempted to reblog it I'll be honest

But the whole thing is kind of going to come out in bits through flashbacks and Five telling Allison a little here and there. Something that I am excited about writing for that is a scene later on which is half written and planned but needs a serious rewrite is where Five backtracks and lies about what happened to him which ends up really frustrating Allison

They don’t really argue about it per se. It’s more that there’s a misunderstanding. Allison is upset and annoyed because she’s only trying to help him and he’s refusing her. Five is still in emotional shock and still trying to process what happened to him. It’s been a little while but it’s still within twenty four hours of the incident occurring and he’s still feeling a bit numb and “this isn’t real” about the whole thing that lead up to him breaking

Allison isn’t really trying to force him to do anything. She’s just dealing with her own shit on top of trying to look after him. She knows something is wrong with Five and gets frustrated when he blatantly lies about it

It’s a misunderstanding because Allison thinks Five is pushing her away and is hurt by that, whereas in reality he’s still processing and doesn’t want to tell her what Reginald did to him because it makes the whole thing real. Five doesn’t want to be real. It’s easier for him to lie to himself except that also means he has to lie to Allison. Five is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’s extremely on edge and despite opening up to Allison he’s scared that she will turn on him if he does or says something wrong. But Allison is just tired and struggling like he is and really she only wants to help

And as you all know I like whump so there’s also a couple flashbacks to what happened peppered in here and there

It’s really interesting to write the ways that they respond to and misunderstand each other. *Holds up icttwya Allison and Five in my hands* I just think they’re neat

Sorry if this is starting to get long but another thing I’m excited to write is this little series I’m gonna start which branches off of Problems That You Made In Your Own Head. It’s called Lila and Five vs The New Timeline and it’s basically about what happens after Five crashes at Lila and Diego’s place and I have maybe three or four one-shots planned for that. There’s not set plan of a story for it, it’s more just little scenarios. A bit of angst and fluff here and there. It’s essentially just me having fun with their relationship. It’s gonna include the fic I said I’d write a while ago where Lila dyes Five’s hair and I’m pretty excited about that. There’s some other things that I have planned for it as well so yeah!