#people just dont care because they want to hate on trans men. sorry but it's true; like i am sorry but trans men are still oppressed men

[genderqueerdykes]

hi so im sorry if this is rude or anything im just kinda confused ab some things. so one of the posts on this blog mentions that if you hate trans men then your transphobic, which i agree with, but does it mean in the sense of if you say you hate all men (including trans men) that makes you transphobic? (typing that out makes me realize how stupid it is 😓) and also a post was speaking ab terfs and it said smthing along the lines of ‘trans men can be lesbian’ and maybe I dont get it but if trans men are men how can they be lesbians if the meaning of being a lesbian is wlw/nblnb (i think thats the right one)?

pls don’t feel like you need to answer or anything, and thanks if you do. have a good day!

hello!

it is still transphobic, yes. this is also antimasculism. saying that you hate all men affects, well... all men. and that includes other queer men, too. men are not a cishet monolith, and it's not good to hate random cishet men, either. the gender of "man" did not hurt you. specific men hurt you. hating and hiding from a gender pathologically will not keep you safe from harm. women can hurt you. non binary people can hurt you. profiling strangers especially gets dangerous because you are assuming things about them. you can't tell if a stranger in public is a cishet man or not just by looking at them. they could be a trans man, a non binary person, a genderfluid person, a closeted/boymoding trans woman, and so on.

manhood is not bad. it's not something dangerous or scary. behaving this way perpetuates the idea that men can never change or improve or try to do better. forcing them into a box of "Disgusting, vile, must be hated" will only make shitty behaviors worse, because this is reinforcing that they can't ever get better, so why bother? might as well keep doing the same shitty things

men can be lesbians, there's no rules. lesbian does not mean woman. anyone of any gender can be a lesbian. many trans men start out in the lesbian community and wish to stay there because we never lose that part of ourselves. many trans men just are lesbians regardless. i honestly highly recommend talking to the butch community and just transmascs in general because i feel like people who assume that it "doesn't make sense" literally just... have not talked to more than a small handful of transmascs

like, my honest suggestion is to just gain exposure to the butch and lesbian communities outside of white cis gender conforming femme lesbians if you're curious about this experience, because it's so common that if you're in a queer space you basically can't throw a rock without hitting a transmasc lesbian somewhere in the process. anyone of any gender can be a lesbian or gay. many trans women start off in the gay community and still identify as gay men ever after realizing they're also trans women. this phenomenon exists in other communities.

people are just needlessly fixated on trans men being lesbians because "oh no! men are so dangerous to the poor defenseless women!!!!!! they can't protect themselves we have to ban everyone and anyone who looks even slightly masc!!!! soft butches ONLY we don't want any masculine people around here they're too scary!!!!!!" that feeling in your brain that tells you that trans men can't be lesbians is a cop, and you're allowed to kill it.

hope that helps! take care!

[daglout]

(taken from this post)

benjanun sriduangkaew transphobia

original: link

mirror: link

bonus: deleted tweet

[nekropsii]

i think theres a really big issue in the community specifically surrounding the people who headcanon dave as some sort of trans where both sides of the coin seem to hate each other? like both sides are at fault here, ive seen blogs demeaning people who like transmasc dave and then like you said other people just completely disregarding transfem dave. guys. can we stop. let people headcanon what they want without blatantly attacking them, this goes for all parties in this issue. i dont get why people act like this. the fuck happened to all trans people being equal and then we get both transmisoginy and harassment of people liking either of the trans headcanons?

jesus man. im tired of it

Respectfully, I do not think this is a “Both Sides” situation.

The concept of transmasc Dave is objectively one of the most popular headcanons in the Homestuck fandom, and it has been for years. I think I can excuse people who headcanon transfem Dave for “hating it���, because as I have been trying to fucking say this entire time, people keep correcting me on my own posts about transfem Dave on my own blog, and belittling me for thinking this way. And since I’ve asked people to maybe interrogate why they feel the need to correct me and patronize me and to stop fucking doing that, I’ve been getting inundated with people trying to mansplain and traumadump to me how me saying to not correct me and patronize me for having a transfem headcanon is oppressing them and that trans men also have it bad, as if I literally ever insinuated that they do not have it tough.

You do not get to “Both Sides” me on a discussion about my experience when I have never - and I mean NEVER - received this level of heat for headcanoning a character as literally anything else. I have NEVER gotten “corrected” for headcanoning a character as gay, or transmasculine, or black, or a lesbian - only now, when I headcanon a character as a trans woman, am I getting people correcting me, condescending me, telling me some really fucking personal traumas to explain to me I’m “in the wrong” for being upset about the correction and condescension, very obviously making assumptions about my sex, gender, and what I’ve been through in my life, making negative assumptions about my intelligence, and putting a fuck ton of words in my mouth.

I am speaking from my own experience here. I am sorry if that hurts anyone’s feelings, but that much cannot be taken from me. From my experience, this is not “Both Sides”, this is very clearly one side with far greater numbers giving another flack for not assimilating, and when that other side tries to say what’s going on, they’re treated as an aggressor, and treated like a petulant idiot child.

Before anyone puts any more words in my god damn mouth:

I literally never said no one could HC Dave as transmasculine, or that they were wrong for thinking that way. I have outright said the opposite, that it is fine and that I do not care. HOWEVER, I sure as hell am experiencing people telling me that I am wrong for HCing her as a woman.

I literally never, and I mean NEVER, said or insinuated that trans men do not suffer, especially under the patriarchy. I am not an idiot, I know how the patriarchy works, it hurts literally everyone that doesn’t conform to an incredibly, incredibly narrow white non-queer cishetero male ideal. I am also not an idiot, I know that transphobia will exist no matter what you identify as, and it will suck absolute horseshit. Neither “side” has it “easy”, every type of transphobia has an uncomfortably, terrifyingly high body count. I never fucking said trans men do not have it hard. Stop putting those words in my mouth.

Literally all I said was that it’s fucking weird that I’ve never been treated this way until I headcanoned a character as a trans woman, and maybe to interrogate that because people sure seem comfortable acting this way, and that-

This is Transmisogyny.

And if there’s anything else I’ve learned from this, it’s that-

HIT DOGS HOLLER.

[vegantinatalist]

May i ask why youre anti furry/therian? Im not either of those things, just curious lol

Glad you asked, i have a lot to say about it, skip to the end for a tldr Viewing animals as concepts and visuals that you can make a persona out of contributes to the perception of animals (and others in general) being commodities. It derealizes animals and anthropomorphizes them, it is not a way to respect or portray animals, its the opposite.

I dislike therians for the same reasons and also because its a delusion like any other, and no different from religion, gender ideology, or trans race believers. Its furry taken even further into full blown delusion. They both also often buy leather and real fur and shit for their stupid costumes, especially if they go to ren fairs. i hate that theres more art of anthropomorphized endangered species than there are members of those endangered species. i hate that cows are sexually exploited while people are making "strawberry milk cowsonas uwu" with giant boobs and straw hats and shirts that say "milk!" Need i even mention all the zoophilia coded art. Ive worked as a freelance artist for over a decade, the massive number of furries that request zoophilia porn (art of getting penetrated by or raping animals), sometimes of their real pets which they would send me (normal) images of, made me no longer care that supposedly most furries "only like sfw furry art" (i call absolute bullshit and even if true idc) or "only like anthro furry porn" (thats still zoophilia in my eyes, no im not sorry, it literally is, especially if you cant get off without the animal imagery or you prefer it over human imagery). everytime someone requested a "sfw full body nude ref" they never gave their character human genitals. Always animal genitals. like bruh you literally want animal penis/vagina, you just (supposedly) wouldnt touch a real animal on principle. Buuuut youll also totally kill and eat animals daily, and youre fine with sticking instruments up their cervixes to force impregnate them and shocking their anuses to collect their semen? and you really think everyone is just like "yeah rape for profit is a-okay but raping them for pleasure is unthinkable"? you really think no people ever are like "yeah raping them for pleasure is fine too"? as an animal rescuer let me tell you- youre dead fucking wrong. animal prostitution and bestiality is a real issue, an estimate 2 percent of the population (and thats just whats reported, we all know animals cannot communicate their abuse) are offenders. from cases i myself have seen personally, the offenders were young men, autistic, and guess what else...ding ding ding. again this is of course not the majority of furries but my point is that i dont trust anybodies morals when it comes to the perception and treatment of others, especially those weaker and unable to speak. i have known a shocking amount of "normal" men who admitted to attempting or successfully raping an animal as a teen.

The sfw art often is extremely self indulgent and very objectifying of animals, drawing them like toys and little fairies that exist solely to bring them joy. i just never liked that kind of thing. i dont like that so many companies even get away with turning that shit into full on dopamine farm gambling addictions for kids. think like, webkins.

My parents used to give me animals like they were toys when i was young. They did not care what happened to them. All the media i was surrounded with as a kid reinforced this idea that animals are toys, toys that exist for self indulgent dopamine farming, even if i never would have said that, even if i would have gotten mad at anyone who outright said it. even if i thought this media made me an animal lover. it did not. and as a result, i saw many animals terribly die. yes, huge blame on my parents of course, but we dont live in a world that respects or cares about animals as it is and this type of content just doesnt help like people think it does. it doesnt teach you respect for animals. it teaches you to love animals the way you love candy. something you play with, and consume. its bad.

I want people to create sonas without using animal body parts as a way to convey tropes and archetypes that harmfully or just incorrectly skew peoples perception of real animals. i want to see animal characters that are neither anthro nor "feral" (toony animal body but anthro behaviors and thoughts) but are instead just written and portrayed like real animals and respected. i am not opposed to anime because while most of it is creepy, depicting toddler faced girls on childrens sexualized bodies, this disturbing objectification element isnt inherent to the style or subject matter and there are plenty of anime that depict people more normally. furry on the other hand is inherently objectifying and i wish drawing furry art was not so socially acceptable. its not like i think everyone should only draw animals exactly the way they look in reality, but you can stylize them in countless ways that arent anthropomorphizing.

i also hate fiction where theres a race of animal people and still a subclass of non anthro animals that are being exploited. it just furthers this idea that real animals dont matter, you can even pretend to be them while you kill and eat them if you want. i just really hate all of it. ive never seen any piece of furry media that doesnt disrespect animals and i think it inherently cannot be respectful to them.

mythical animal characters are a bit of a gray area. if they are depicted like real animals, just different (like a dragon that is clearly cat coded) that doesnt bother me really. the ones that are human coded with no animal parts based on real animals are usually fine too. its the grody and often sexualized blending of human and nonhuman animal that i dont like.

this is a very long and rambly rant but tldr:

-sexual furry art is zoophilia

-sfw furry art is still gratification based in objectification of others (and sfw art still can arouse people which is why its important to be mindful of subject matter no matter how youre drawing it)

-therians are the same + delusion (and i oppose all delusions)

-i want to see respectful art/stories that portrays nonhuman animals as the complicated individuals they are, not as a humans costume, sidekick/toy, or human allegory -im sick of artists having 0 accountability in general and im sick of their actually braindead apologist fans (looking at you made in abyss season 2 enjoyers) and i have 0 tolerance for iffy material anymore, we need to start opposing fictional content with more intensity, the world of art has become like 50 percent soft cp and soft zoophilia and i for one hate that

[zeronetxt]

examples from this post below

Aro/Aces

Jason Todd. I'm fr heavy on this one because i'm gatekeeping him cough cough but to me (idc that its canon that he is not, if i ignore canon its not real) he seems like the type not to really gaf. and honestly, NOT EVERY SUPERHERO NEEDS TO HAVE A ROMANTIC ARC 🙄🙄 take notes from me, dc. i have an demi-aspec oc who is feral af and would totally smother jason with affection and he is thriving (he really isn't, hes a traumatised demon)

Chuuya Nakahara because NOWHERE IS IT MENTIONED (that i could find, at least) THAT HE HAS AN INTEREST IN WOMEN OR MEN. The only one i can think of that he would be interested in is dazai and i see that as a "pikachu! i choose you!" moment instead of a "i hate you, i want to be yours" type of thing. i'm not sure how to explain it, but like a forced crush since they have after all known each other for 7 years and literally dazai can anticipate his movements. (im talking about that one scene in the guild arc i think it was. "WHY YOU!")

Percy Jackson. I'm putting him as demi (still somewhat on the aspec tho yk?) because of his relationship with annabeth. idc, THEY ARE EACH OTHERS ENDGAMES. id say pretty much the same for annabeth, i mean, they knew each other for a while before they fell in love and started dating, but tbf, i have NOT even read the pjo series in a ehile sad face

Jouno Saigiku because i feel like his only interest is justice. i dunno how to expand on him, but yeah. i love jouno so much and if he really do be dead before i get a suegiku reunion, im firing everyone

Tetchou Suehiro. he's an (adorable) oddity in itself, but still serious. I don't think he'd be looking for a relationship, especially in his line of work. he is quite literally an overworker. MY BOY IS TRAINING EVEN DURING MEETINGS. however my one exception to 'bro has no feelings' is jouno. why? learn in the bi section of this (its quite obvious tho)

Ranpo Edogawa. Mostly because have you seen him? i'd say his only interests are solving crimes and his snacks (and obviously the ada). obviously he has more, but those are the main ones that come to mind. other than the (probably) one sided rivalry of ranpoe where i swear poe is the only one that says theyre rivals, i dont think that he's the type to make relationships with others outside of the ada. maybe the hunting dogs/pm if he really had to, but i kin him, and i say he is

Trans people (mostly just trans men, im sorry to my girlies 🥺)

just a not i want to put, i think i only put trans guy hcs bc i myself am transmasc lewl

Junichirou Tanizaki. Sorry, i feel stereotypical for saying this, but his body, my dude. also his style, in the manga, he wears a black top underneath his white vneck(?) whichh to me feels like its a binder. also i love that ranga and naomis relationship w him kinda makes me sad, but ill post my theory on that another time. and also his hair (beautiful and gorgeous btw) just makes me so happy w the little clips and stuff. baggy shirt my guy, great style.

Jason Todd SOMETIMES. i think i just want to relate to him a lil, because im a lil silly like that.

chuuya nakahara on occasion but i think its just because were the same height 🧍

ryuunosuke akutagawa because honestly a trans aku would be interesting but not that relevant. idk, i like the idea of it

Bisexuals/Pansexuals

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA!!! I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT. lucy??? akutagawa??? BROS HAD HEAVY MOMENTS WITH BOTH OF THEM. i can not see him as anything but a disaster bisexual honestly.

Jason Todd (again HA). Seeing as people can be pan/bi as well as aro/ace, i see him fitting into that, maybe demi-bi or something. he doesnt really strike me as the type to fall in love quickly, but he doesnt really care what he falls for, he cares for whom he does. i am a jason todd hc kinnie

Michizou Tachihara. my goody, i dont ship it but tachigin is just right there. and the scene during the corruption arc w tanizaki (i am not romanticising this but i feel like i am, DEAD). i love the content w him, and also i noticed he and juni pretty much have the same shirt 💀 but also, bro has piercings and dyes his hair, does he just know he is gorgeous???

percy jackson, i'm not even gonna expand

Tetchou Suehiro because BRO AND JOUNO FR. not even gonna lie, if a man (tecchou) says that he would put me above justice for FIVE MINUTES, I WOULD FOLD. thats the main one for me. the other would be the pushups during a meeting. their moments are just cute, sue me

lol im too lazy to come up with i cant think of any more

[trans-androgyne]

I'm so sick of this. Trans men could be fucking like "lets have a discussion about unsavory attitudes or actions within queer communities when it comes to gender" and a bunch of fucking people INCLUDING OTHER TRANS MASCS are like "wooooooow cant believe youre attacking TRANS WOMEN like that this is obviously bigotry. after all theyve been through?? I am going to assume this mild criticism is about trans women (which you never said it was at all even once) and THEN tell you that because transphobia exists any disagreement with a trans woman means you want her to be HARASSED. I can't believe you think harassment is okay. also even though trans women are poor victims (I am speaking on behalf of all trans women) who you arent allowed say anything in opposition to (I think trans women are defenseless and attack people based on the idea that any criticism is trying to ruin their lives) (don't you know its impossible for a trans woman to ever be treated with respect or have a good life ever and in fact they are all doomed to being treated horribly?) (this is me HELPING trans women by the way I'm an ALLY) and trans men are the problem and somehow even though we're all in the same community Poor Trans Women are so oppressed they would be RUINED by disagreements (I am speaking on behalf of every trans woman and I know not a single one wants to have an interesting discussion about oppression or gender) this is me being an ally btw I could never be transmisogynistic by talking like this. also somehow transphobes check what type of trans you are, if youre a trans woman they hate you and if youre a trans man they say "yay you're a man" and treat you wonderfully because if youre a man youre always treated well no matter what other types of oppression you might face I think of this as being progressive.

Sorry for the long rant(?) I have a lot of thoughts. In summary: some people see themselves as such trans woman defenders that they a hundred percent loop around to infantilising them by implying its too hurtful to have a conversation. I've seen this exact type of behaviour as a trans man when it comes to misgendering. someone slips up and instead of being like "oops I mean he" they go some equivalent of "oh my gosh im sooooo sorry i cant believe I did that to you you probably feel miserable have I ruined your day oh my goodness dont cry ill make it up to you I know you have now become an emotional wreck from the horrible thing I did to you im sorry im sorry im sorry I just need to make sure everybody can hear how HURT you are by one misgendering" this is an example of how "being an ally" loops around to calling you fragile and a literal baby. They make it worse even though theyre "on your side" by implying you cant handle anything and they have to "fix it" because you just would collapse immediately at something maybe affecting you.

On the one hand, I understand where a lot of this is coming from. Trans women do get harassment campaigns started against them for small issues. It’s best not to resolve real problems with specific transfems in a public forum. So many have described the feeling of transmisogynistic hypervisibility as a panopticon and that very much applies in these discussions.

But trans women also aren’t made of glass. And they aren’t immune from making mistakes and causing harm. Making posts that contradict some trans women’s understandings of transmasc oppression is not transmisogyny. Pointing out that something they said or did was hurtful or transphobic is not transmisogyny. People act like this is how you treat trans women with respect and it’s very much not. This is not being “normal” about trans women. They are human beings who yes need some extra care and protection but are also capable of talking things out instead of collapsing into dust at the first sign of criticism. I know not all trans women like being treated this way in the slightest. I hope we’ll be able to find ways in the community to still uplift their voices and mitigate harm done to them without putting them on a high pedestal or shielding them from all criticism and intracommunity discussion that does not go their way.

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

not gonna lie there are inherent ties between hating bi lesbians, being a terf, and being generally transandrophobic (and usually claiming the latter doesn't even exist (side note idk if im spelling that shit right sorry)) but some of u are not ready for that conversation.

ive tried my best to give people resources, explain to people why mspec lesbians and 'lesbians who are men' are a thing. how gender and sexuality are diverse, often fluid, and cannot be confined into tight definitions. but oftentimes people dont want to listen.

i do drop into comment sections to try and explain these things occasionally, because i have changed some people's minds. usually the ones who are just confused or have only heard one side of the argument. it is tiring, though, and usually doesnt work anyway. most people who build their identity around hate do not *want* to learn.

this is where we tie in with terfs and transandrophobes. among other things tbh. if someone hates one group for not fitting into a box, they likely spread rhetoric from similar people who also dont like box-breakers. in the queer space, this can quickly turn to terf beliefs like gender essentialism.

(which is where we come to transandrophobia, because if trans men are men (which they usually *do* believe, because they arent terfs, just terf-adjacent) and men are inherently evil (because the men are invading our spaces! dont ask how we define men) then trans men cannot possibly suffer under transphobia and patriarchy in a unique way which they would like a word to describe)

the whole idea of woman = good and pure and men = bad and corrupt is such bullshit, and yet half the blogs i see hating on mspec lesbians parrot that same rhetoric that is so clearly radfem shit. idk. ive said in posts before that there is an obvious link between terfs and exclusionists, since they use the same rhetoric and arguments, but it is really becoming clearer and clearer to me now.

if you're an exclusionist you're sipping the terf koolaid. if you're fine with that, idk, maybe stop pretending you care about trans people.

[knightofhylia]

On the topic of oppositional sexism, y'all the witchcraft community is RIFE with it.

My partner and I are both trans masc magic users and it's very hard to find a place where we fit in. We have both been on testosterone for a few years and he has had top surgery so it's not like we aren't """ passing """. Still ended up getting misgendered by a (and I quote) "Divine feminine embodiment guidess, creatrix for the celestial sisterhood who runs women's retreats and red tents"

I can't imagine that this woman has good opinions on trans people if 'guide' and 'creator' are too masculine. Just feels like Wombyn all over again. Anytime I see "Divine Feminine" and "Divine Masculine" being used I move along because I know it's a short step from divine genders to transphobia. There's no issue with wanting to be more in touch with your femininity but you're going to have to realize that in the end it is the BALANCE of energies that is important. We use indica and sativa as descriptors instead, find whatever works for you.

When I first started looking into magic stuff there was the distinction that "witches were women, warlocks were men" and I feel like that hasn't changed that much in a grand scheme. I DO see other masc practitioners but we get pushed aside and seen as aggressive or "low vibes". Same with the "all women are born with magic" "we are the granddaughters of the witches you couldn't burn" rhetoric. I've seen Tumblr bios that were public fuck yous to all the men in the bible but devoted to Lilith (which seems to be common. People who don't do their research about basic gender definitely dont do their research on antisemitism and cultural appropriation). like ok, how am I supposed to feel about that as a man that you don't believe any man in the bible had significance it was all women? Sorry Jesus, should've been Josephina.

It just goes to show how much people ARENT doing shadow work. Okay so you've peeked behind the veil and saw that we are all stardust and dirt and nothing and everything is real and STILL want to seperate us by our genitals?? If masculinity is too scary for you then redefine what masculine is because THATS where the magic comes from. Not period blood or ovaries but our abilities as humans to shape our reality. Nonbinary people have BEEN holy in other societies and yet you just erase their entire existance. Good luck manifesting some human decency.

btw I will just block any haters comments I don't care. If you have something you want to debate about this post go say it to your #girlboss first I'm too busy corrupting the astral with my barren womb and hairy boobs.

WE DONT NEED ANYMORE SEPERATION AND HATE IN THIS WORLD YALL DO YOUR SHADOW WORK

[stranger-rants]

i try not to stereotype but its always wild to me when antis say billy would call them a slur while openly having steve as their fave or being a st//eddie because like,,,,,,

steve is the rich jock in the 80s, his parents 100% have membership to the country club, im like 90% sure theyd support reagan considering their financial situation, his dad loves a good game or tennis or even badminton if he wants to be a bit spontaneous, they definitely shop at whatever the us version of waitrose is, his parents have their own person tailor and if their outfits arent at least $100 they wont be wearing them outside and that extends to steve, they have definitely either used a slur and/or done that weird talking around it the "oh you know, those people who prefer embroidered tea cosies" or whatever.

like i dont want to say that steve would just parrot whatever his parents say and would just internalise their opinions, because obviously thats not true on most cases. but at the same time, theres a lot of psychological studies showing that kids do learn from their parents.

and weve already seen steve calling someone a slur on screen. i cant remember if it was queer or faggot, but he was also parroting the rhetoric that gay men are predators who prey on young boys. like where the fuck else did he get that rhetoric from? and even if it wasnt his parents, steve seems to have believed it enough to remember it and parrot it back at jonathan.

id like to think that steve wouldnt call me a slur, especially post-s3 steve, but its fucking wild to me that the "billy would call me a slur" crowd entirely ignore the everything about steves character.

like im sorry buddy, but if pre-s3 steve saw me, a trans man with tits too large to bind who goes out of his way to look as queer as possible, im pretty sure hed call me a whole myriad of slurs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ meanwhile i dont think billy would because hes a cis dude who purposefully presents more feminine. wed probably just have a chill conversation about judas priest or id introduce him to soda stereo.

and anyway its not like know if steve agrees with his parents or not since he never gets any development whatsoever now that hes relegated to group mom

Everyone learns from their parents in one way or another. Steve called Jonathan “Queer” which is what makes it so ironic that fans claim he’s such a great ally and/or that Billy would hate crime them. Quite honestly, given the amount of homophobic rants I have to hear from teenager boys on a regular basis in the year 2023, it wouldn’t shock me if any of the beloved male characters were homophobic. I don’t see Billy as being more or less understanding, but I do think Billy just doesn’t care enough about other people to be out there committing hate crimes. The only time Billy cares what other people say or do is when it puts him at risk

[redditreceipts]

hi there! No need to answer this publicly if you don’t want to- but last anon here and to clarify some things (sorry if I came off ruder than intended I was having a bad day lol) I think it’s in fact always a good thing for women to mad or mean to their oppressors. However before looking into radblr my main experience with people calling themselves “gender critical” was honestly a lot of straight women who don’t really care about feminism beyond hating trans people, and a lot of those peoples focuses on appearances really bothered me. Namely a lot of the transvestigators types because they would pretty comfortably throw the baby out with the bathwater and accuse gnc women of being men just for not being super feminine, especially having facial hair or a lot of body hair which pissed me off. And the attitude of calling trans men/especially detrans people mutilated always upset me deeply because while if a detrans person wants to talk about their own experiences and trauma from what happened to them that way, it feels deeply cruel to tell women who have already been through a lot and still have to live their lives that their bodies are mutilated and they’ll never be accepted as women again. But you are very right, and though it is scary I do think it’s important to start standing up to the blatant misogyny within the trans community if I’m going to continue being a part of it. Have a nice day :)

Oh yeah, the Posie Parker types 🙃 There are a lot of them on twitter. (and no, you did not come off as rude at all :))

And these people are not gender critical, because they don't criticise the social construct of gender. Like saying that hairy women are not biologically female - THATS THE VERY THING FEMINISM HAS FOUGHT AGAINST!!! Women are hairy mammals and that's cool. They can be as wooly as a wooly mammoth and still be women. Women can look literally any way they want to. Some have certain body parts, some don't. The only thing that unites them is that they are biologically female.

(also, they are locking trans people in their positions - imagine you are a person who decides to transition because of your dysphoria, you want to educate yourself on feminist and gender critical ideas, and then people come at you and tell you that you're mutilated and a freak??? you are going to turn back to trans misogynists like Jessie Gender or Philosophy Tube, because they at least dont tell you that you are an abhorration)

And I think that you can stand up against the misogyny. I am trying to do it, and I'm really getting better. Telling men when they are interrupting me, telling men who called me on the street to "shut up" (it was a safe area), telling men to not say "bitch", etc. It's always such a great feeling 😊 you should be looking out for your safety though <3

[redheadbigshoes]

hiya, 🌻 here again~

I just got annoyed by a post's insinuation today that saying the bi lesbian label contributes to men going after lesbians is biphobic and that bi women should be allowed to appropriate our label to help keep men away from them when MEN GO AFTER LESBIANS REGARDLESS they want to abuse us and sexually assault us and saying youre a bi woman who doesnt want men to bother you by appropriating lesbian identity doesnt help either of us!!!!

appropriating lesbian identity is lesbophobic because there is real intercommunity abuse from bi women towards lesbians i have had it literally happen to me, I had been peer pressured for weeks by bi women in one of the first queer spaces I came out in about if I'm 'really not attracted to men' and 'just holding myself back' and gaslight and objectified to my face by them (including one of them that I was dating at the time) and bi men that were there and I'm already a trans woman I have very few places where I'm respected as myself and to be hurt like that has forever scarred me.

And I dont want bi women to be 'free to be abused by men because theyre available to men' i want bi women to stop pretending they are like me when they do not experience life or my struggles like i do! and can contribute to them! i want to help bi women to not have to worry about men pressuring them when they dont want it no woman deserves that but i wont let them appropriate my identity in the process when bi people have the position and ability and sometimes the inclination to replicate that lesbophobia against me!

Sorry I just read a post where someone basically said 'bi women should be able to call themselves lesbians if they want to avoid men' when that literally helps noone and they have literal power they can wield over me as a lesbian who is not attracted to men and suffers for it. Yes we both suffer violence from men who dont respect women's autonomy but you don't get to appropriate my identity because of that it doesnt make anything better.

anyway rant over! I hope things go well for you with the gal you met recently ❤️❤️❤️ wishing you the best!

Heyy

It’s SO frustrating not being able to complain about lesbophobia in the LGBTQ+ community because every time we do this we’re accused of being biphobic as a way to silence us and normalize lesbophobia. Meanwhile I see a lot of bi people generalizing lesbians and hating on us and NO ONE cares about this but lesbians.

People assume lesbians wanting everyone to understand even though we’re sapphics just like bi/pan sapphics we still have unique experiences that they don’t understand and never will! Just as they have unique issues and experiences us lesbians don’t understand and we don’t push and pressure them to be included in bi spaces…

I truly wish people in the community stopped treating the lesbian label as an umbrella term. We already have sapphic. I feel like a lot of these discussions usually come from people assuming lesbian = sapphic so that’s why we should include all sapphics in everything.

All these people you mentioned don’t care about lesbians at all and they don’t even hide that lol they desperately need to understand not everything is about bi sapphics and that lesbophobia is a real issue.

Thank you! I also hope it goes well hahah! At least we’re still talking. I hope you’re having a good day! ❤️

[nutzworth]

so lately on twitter theres been this ""thing"" going around. For some reason the people (like 3 people) have been drawing dirk pregnant? Its freaking me out

i think its a dirkjohn thing so im bound to hate it but Dirk strider? Pregnant? The guy that said having kids would be "inconvenient?" The guy that got told that he raised a kid in another timeline and abused and traumatized him to hell and back? The guy that thinks of himself as the worst person imaginable and is afraid he will only become worse? Hello?

and like i saw maybe 1 reasoning and it was something along the lines of "you gotta draw a pregnant trans man to like normalize it or something. i dont actually remember" and like yeah. trans man pregnancy is something we gotta get over. but also youre choosing DIRK STRIDER to do that? yeah trans men can have biological kids if they want to i dont damn care. the thing is dirk WOULDNT have kids in ANY WAY because hes DIRK STRIDER! see above paragraph

its freaking me out dude. I keep seeing it. Its so scary. hes always visually pregnant and hes always like regretting it. i dont even think he wants a kid even in this pregnant fantasy. Is it a fetish or something? I dont understand. Hes never buying baby clothes or being like oh man got to prepare for this baby hes just laying around being pregnant. Is it a fetish? Hello? I cant think of any other reason other than a weird fantasy. Im like seriously at a loss here.

dirk is both a 4chan incel and knows how horrifying pregnancy and birth are. ok maybe not pregnancy. but he has to know how insane birth is he was on the internet at such a young age. so: not only does he get no bitches, hes also afraid (afraid is not the right word. like conscious? dreadfully conscious.) of what the HELL birth will do to him, AND hes afraid of being a TERRIBLE PARENT. WHY WOULD HE BE A GOOD PARENT? why would he THINK he would be a good parent. HES SO AFRAID! oh my god.

essay over sorry to have to talk about this. im just so at a loss here and i need to complain about it with anyone

[thueenz]

Have you "come out" with your identity to your parents/friends? How did you do it? Completely ok if you don't wanna answer or give too many details. Hope ur safe and happy

hi! i don't mind answering at all ! ! im gonna put this under read more for the sake of not throwing a wall of text on peoples dashes

i have come out to my parents, and as for friends, ive only ever had to come out to one because the rest are lgbt in some way LMAO 😭 i dont know anyone close to where i live so thats a bit of a cheatcode. in an evil way because the con is i dont know anyone near me wouldnt recommend to be fair BUT !

it was like, years ago now, so the details are a bit foggy, but i literally just sat them down while shaking in my boots and told them , said i had something i wanted to tell them all and came out, it wasnt too complicated for me since my family is like...well, theyre not hateful, i'm not going to call them allies considering the first thing they told me was that they found my identity too hard to grasp 💀

i eventually confronted them on that and it didnt do much either, they use the proper pronoun more often in front of my friends but never really when im alone and they have a bunch of other issues with that stuff, theyre like, the type that think theyre progressive but arent lol. I.e i used he/him for a friend for months and they did too but they heard the friend is trans and immediately stumbled using she/her constantly and were like oh well im not used to it 🥺🥺 girl wtf youve been using he/him for months!! so stuff like that yk?

as for the One Cishet Friend I Met On A Game, i also just sort of did the same thing? he was a lot more accepting though, very sweet, he was googling what pronoun to use in his native language for me so that was a lot more touching after my last experience 😭

it's a bit annoying but i dont really put much mind to it! i dont really care what my family thinks anymore on that even if its bothersome, ive got a lot bigger fish to fry with my family LMAO and boy are they frying... theyre positively cooking

i hope that answers sorry i don't have many details i have poor memory also it just wasn't very eventful aside from me being very anxious each time

HOWEVER this gives me the chance to share my favourite story to share with people because its so stupid. OK SO! about a year before i came out? idk, my mom literally asked if i was gay 😭😭 and i was closeted so i was like shaking in my boots and i was like no why.. and she said because i never had a crush on a fictional male character, like my sister liked shrek as a kid so she "knew.." she was straight it LINGERS IN MY MIND ITS SO FUNNY LMAO like please diagnosed as gay by your mother because you didnt get a crush on shrek. DIAGNOSED AS STRAIGHT BECAUSE YOU DID GET A CRUSH ON SHREK ?? I literally like men too though so she was right but also not but also what the hell LMAO

i hope youre safe and happy too! ♥️♥️tyvm for being sweet feel free to send any more asks if i didnt cover something! i havent eaten breakfast yet so im a bit scattered im gonna do that 🫡

anyone whos read this far gets a gold star 🌟

[1p2p-heta-imagines]

hey i was wondering if i could get a match up? (specifically for 2p if thats alr!)

about me

- im a trans guy with a preference of men

- im short and have glasses and black hair, i would say my fashion sense falls under the emo/alternative category.

- im a introvert, so i dont talk to people unless they talk to me first. i love being with/talking to my friends, they bring out the best of me. i can get pretty loud with them, making a lot of jokes and overall being very playful with them.

- im a caring and selfless person, i always put others needs and wants in front of mine. my friends mean a lot to me so i always wanna make sure theyre okay, although i can come off as clingy with this.

- i like to be left alone sometimes, it helps me recharge my social battery.

-when im not having times to myself, i love going out doors. although i have a huge fear of bugs and hate the heat.

- im a pretty sensitive person, and with being a overthinker who overthinks about almost everything. i need someone who can reassure and comfort me.

- i would say some of my toxic traits are me bottling up my emotions and isolating myself when im feeling down or depressed. and that causes me to push people away because i dont want people to worry about my problems because i know they have their own problems already. so its pretty difficult to let people help me, it makes me feel selfish and guilty if they help me.

- somethings i hate are loud noises, yelling, people forcing me to do things i don't want to, heights, BUGS.

- i would say my love language is gift giving, i love giving people gifts, it makes my heart do little dances.

- i love listening to music, its one of my hobbies and its something that can calm me down and makes me feel better. (mostly listen to nu metal, metal, rock, pop punk, etc.)

- another hobby of mine is video games. mostly survival horror, mmos, rpgs, and ofc the occasional minecraft.

- speaking of horror, i love horror related things. but i get scared easily, so most of the time watching a horror movie or something, i cling to people.

- i love baking! especially baking new stuff i haven't tried before, it's something i also do to calm me down. it feels very rewarding :)

- something i really love doing is just going for walks during the day, its very peaceful for me, and can help clear my mind.

- i love animals a lot too!!

- i enjoy reading as well! i dont do it a lot but from time to time its nice.

- something that matters a lot to me is honestly and loyalty. someone who is dishonest and unloyal is a huge turn off for me due to pass experiences.

- another thing is communication, even though im not good at it myself, its still something very important to me.

ty for reading this and im sorry if its a lot🙏🙏

I match you with... 2p S. Italy!

He's honest, extremely loyal, tries his best with communication (usually pretty good), and is very understanding, all those boxes ticked off. Seeming or being clingy with him is no issue, his love language is quality time; you genuinely can't come off as too clingy to him. He's also patient so needing reassurance, comfort, time alone, etc is absolutely something he can give, most people in his life are like this. He'll likely get into any hobby you have, he's open to anything, though expect gifts centred around those hobbies to randomly show up. While horror does terrify him, he'll try his absolute best to not scream at any jumpscares if he watches a movie with you.

[catboygraystripe]

realising ill never get to be as trans as i want because of how my mum reacted to my brothers coming out and the whole rest of the family who dont know but probably wouldnt take it well like bro i think i need to go on T so badly but idek the options for doctors in my area because of how our fucking apparently gp reacted to my brother being trans. like sorry parents for not telling you everything about me (ive never told them im bi its been 7 years, whole other can a worms) but i haaaate starting shit i hate conflict so bad i dont need them debating and discussing my identity i dont want another round of mum grieving the loss of her daughter or whatever. like can i just get hairier in peace. like i havent been a big gender dysphoria haver since i was like 15 but my tolerance for being viewed as a woman by every stranger is wearing extremely thin like i dont care if they she/her me but i need people to look at me and have that moment of questioning. but my family would eventually find out and be upset that i didnt tell them and itd be a whole problem. and then theres the whole issue ive been having with not feeling trans enough and fuck idek. i think i just need to get on T and have a hysterectomy at some point in my life and ill be fine

yeah to think that this all started up again because i got a liiiiiittle too invested in tf2 LOL. those men did something to my gender.

[depressedcatboy]

sorry for the vent

the issue i have with cis people trying to "help" trans people is that they act like they know better for what we need than we do. im not sure if its just my dad, but whenever i try to say anything about it hes always like "NO its not that way its this way, youre wrong" and its so fucking demotivating.

we were talking in the car and i was saying i wanted to try to get top surgery before the next election because, you know, i might not be able to after, and he was like "well, all we can do is wait and see"

and i was just like what the fuck? wait and see? no, i can get my care before its gone.im not gonna wait and see if it gets taken away from me, im gonna pounce at the first chance i get.

and then he was talking about campaigning, but he doesnt fucking realize how little it does. they dont want to listen. i know this because i have to campaign to even exist every single fucking day and it does shit. yet he always acts like he must know better because hes older than me.

i fucking hate it. he can afford to wait years, and to fight through it but i cant. if that happens, im honestly going to beg them to move. because i dont think, if that happens, that ill be strong enough to keep myself alive. and i dont want to put myself at risk like that.

and i dont care if its "not activism" or not for the greater good. its for my fucking good. because at that point, its only gonna escalate. it'll be to cease to exist or leave.

im just so sick of this shit. im done with fighting. im done with all the bad news and the grown men threatening my right to exist. im so done with it.