#people get confused and have a “how would a dog wear pants” discourse over how would he record it

[shinewonder]

I have a quick q about Sprite!Mike and PG-

How often does Phone Guy just, gives Mike his phone and repeatedly starts going hello? Because this idea endlessly amuses me.

He might sometimes feel lonely and just call Mike to say hello, and then they would just say hi and hello back and forth until PG hangs up. It's their bonding time, in PG's eyes at least

Though he says multiple hellos everytime he begins to have a conversation with him, or anyone, really - he wanted to make sure the other person is being able to listen and it became a habit to say it over and over until the listener responds

Also i don't think he'd hand Mike his phone, PG would just begin ringing and he would always have to pick up bc in fnaf 2 he's his manager or in another higher position

[vaguelyaperson]

Hello everyone~

In light of recent events and discourse, I - a real life actual pacifist - am going to teach you all about nonviolence. What actually is nonviolence, and not what some of ya’ll think is nonviolence but is really a dangerous misconception. My credentials? I studied nonviolence (my minor was peace studies), and you could say that I was raised in the ideology of nonviolence since I’m Anabaptist. 

(Interesting, unnecessary tidbit, but the Anabaptists were opposed to things like slavery, forced military conscription, unification of church and state, ect., while they practiced things like democracy and freedom of religion waaaay before Jefferson ever wrote that ‘all men are created equal.’ So, you know, *dons hipster glasses*, eeeyyy.)

So, a lot of people think that nonviolence means letting someone beat you up, in the name of... I dunno. Peace? Moderation? Making sure you don’t upset the oppressor? But like I said. This is a dangerous misconception. Sure, there can be a lot said about the dignity of refusing to fight back, but there are a lot of nuances to this, so I’ll start by saying... telling black people that MLK wanted them to lay down and take the beating is incredibly ill-informed, racist, and unhelpful! While on the other hand, going out and joining protests against white supremacy is a perfect example of nonviolence. 

I’ll start with the definition of nonviolence. Crazy enough, but nonviolence is not the same thing as passivity. Please, for all that is good, imprint that in your brain: nonviolence ≠ passivity. A quick Google search will tell you that nonviolence is “the use of peaceful means, not force, to bring about political or social change.” With that said, nonviolence is action. 

Nonviolent action is heavily tied with civil disobedience/resistance. Nonviolent action and civil disobedience is recognizing that there is an unjust institution, and then peacefully refusing to follow said institution. If you want more details, then read Letter from Birmingham Jail, Martin Luther King Jr. It honestly spells out this whole situation way better than I can. 

Now, this might seem a little confusing. What do nonviolent protesters hope to achieve by peacefully demanding change? Can’t the oppressor just ignore them? Well, here’s the thing. The foundation of nonviolence is in the effort to shame the oppressor. That’s right. Shame. Nonviolent action is meant to disrupt complacency. In its purest sense, it’s supposed to cause outrage, tension, complications; it’s supposed to teach a lesson. Boycott an entire market to the point of near ruin so that shop owners have to plead the government for change? Nonviolence. Sit illegally at a lunch counter just to irritate the establishment into removing stupid segregation rules? Nonviolence. Smuggle an entire fucking group of people out of your country so that the Nazis can’t get to them? Nonviolence. (Goddammit, just read up on how the Danish nonviolently got Nazi Germany out of their country because it was a fucking masterpiece that I will never get over.)

Let’s look at this from a Biblical perspective. Matthew 5:38-41. 

“But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” 

Yeah. That one. (Ah, yes, I can already hear the groaning.)

But! This verse has, like many Bible verses, been really wrung out and twisted into something it’s not because people forget the cultural context. First off. The face slapping. Notice how Jesus said if someone hits you on your right cheek. Well, there are two options for hitting someone’s right cheek: you either use your left hand, or you backhand them. In Middle Eastern cultures, left hands are dirty. Left hands are for dirty dirty things like wiping your ass. You do not hit someone with your left hand. Furthermore, backhanding someone is a grave insult. Backhanding declares someone as an inferior. So, if someone hit one of Jesus’ followers on the right cheek, they were backhanding them, and thus calling them inferior. However! You know who hit each other on the left cheek? Equals. Conclusion. Turning your cheek does not mean invite more beating. 

Turning your cheek means shaming your oppressor into acknowledging you as an equal. 

Second. Really think about the items of clothing that Jesus mentions in the second example. Shirt and coat. What did people back then not wear? Pants. What things does that leave them? Shirt and coat. What happens if they took off both? Nakey time. That’s right. Jesus was legit encouraging people to, in the middle of court, strip naked in front of their accuser. Why? Because it would embarrass the plaintiff. This action was meant to point out the injustice, the few things the victim owns, and, that’s right, shame the oppressor.

Third. It was law that a Roman soldier could force an Israelite to carry his things for one mile. That’s it! One mile! It was unlawful for a Roman soldier to force anymore and... you see what I’m getting at here? Jesus outright encouraging folks to break the law cause the law is stupid? Yeah. Got some classic Biblical civil disobedience here. 

But wait! Some readers may cry out, just itching to talk about Gandhi encouraging his followers to get beat over the head, or something out of context like that, doesn’t nonviolence include such passive measures? To this is I say:

Sure. When it was done so in the effort to shame the oppressor. The Salt March (where Gandhi led a bunch of people to illegally gather their own salt, and be beat by British officers in the process) was a huge fuck you to Britain. People around the world were outraged to watch it unfold. Who the hell kicks down a defenseless soul??? It put a lot of pressure on Britain. Same thing with the American civil rights movement, with the fire hoses and police dogs.

And by the way, allowing yourself to be kicked around took training and discipline. Civil rights protesters held workshops (tw; link includes photos of physical violence) where people learned how not to react to physical and verbal abuse. People are trained in this type of nonviolence. I’ll say it again for the people in the back. If you need one of those ‘this is done by a professional, please don’t try this at home, kids’ disclaimer, then this is your disclaimer. PEOPLE ARE TRAINED IN THIS TYPE OF NONVIOLENCE. 

Again, please, please, PLEASE DO NOT tell lay citizens that they should take the beating. 

Now, there is much more to be said and learned about nonviolence. It’s a fascinating topic and I highly encourage further reading! However, in conclusion, nonviolence is not passivity. It takes a lot of thought, coordination, and discipline to pull off. When done well, when you make sure to read the instructions on the label, nonviolence can be a pretty effective tool. Does nonviolence always work? No. Did I write this as some evil white moderate pacifist in order to encourage everyone to stop fighting back? No. 

As a pacifist, I will continue to believe in the effectiveness of nonviolence, and crazily enough, I will be against punching Nazis. But if you as an individual prefer to rely on force to change things, then that’s your belief, and I respect that. I can acknowledge that force has brought about change before. I’m just personally uncomfortable with violence for both spiritual and emotional reasons. Truly, this mini essay was written in the hopes of educating a few people about the option that is nonviolence. (Real nonviolence. Not what makes the oppressor comfortable.)

So go out and protest! Keep demanding your rights! Don’t be afraid to disrupt things! Just remember to educate yourself and stay safe.