#people aren't just devices for your character development

[shaisuki]

Could I request Kaiser with reader. The two of them are partners for a project when he offers her a brownie he made, (one that he drugged), she was hesitant but took it, once she felt a little intoxicated, he took advantage of her, despite her trying to push him off, her state made her weaker and unable to push him off as he did what he wanted with her. At the end, he blackmailed her with the recording he took of him taking advantage of her

contested cravings

PAIRING. MICHAEL KAISER X CHUBBY READER

CONTENT WARNINGS. noncon + drugging, nonconsensual recording + groping and touching + kissing + blackmail + sabotage + penetrative sex + manipulation + cunnilingus.

SYNOPSIS. michael's is the bad news with his good looks and talent and the reason why you avoided him.

class projects aren't bad not until you're paired with michael kaiser. the school's star athlete and the resident asshole if you must add. have a bad habit of belittling others that pisses most of the whole student body and only hangs out with alexis ness. whom may have developed an unhealthy obsession with the school's golden boy. following him like a lost pup and would skedaddle if kaiser shooed him off.

you found the dynamic between them unsettling and how could ness accepted being treated like that. you guess is just how they express their feeling or to make the other feel good about themselves and you kind of really don't care, not when michael is your partner. his blonde hair is streaked with baby blue highlights on the tips and that haircut that suits him.

you instantly averted your gaze when you see him walking towards you and pretends that you didn't notice him. feigning interest in a book that you have read over and over.

“at my place?” he asks, smoothing his blonde locks. “s-sure.” you answered him. a little worriedly than you have liked and it looks like you were hesitant and regretting your action towards him.

michael paid it no mind. people acted around him like he was a real total assholes and he is and you were no different from the reactions people have shown him. he just gave you a smile and left you to your own devices.

of course, he have a room for himself. he's the school's star athlete and it comes with privilege including personal spaces. you texted him earlier and there he is. opening his door for you to come in. you gave him a curt greeting. “can we start now?” you asked him. the sooner this project is done the better. you really don't want to be alone with michael. “does my presence annoys you that much?” he smirks, eyeing you in such lazy manner that your eyes widen at what he was saying. kaiser chuckles at your reaction. “just kidding. don't want to waste more than time. make yourself comfortable then.” pointing at his work table. the books and papers and pens are neatly arranged. you didn't took him to be the studious type regarding how he acts in the general but you have judged him too early and mentally slapped yourself for thinking that way and you were still suspicious that he is too polite to you.

“what?” pursing your lips in thin line. you shaked your head. “nothing, michael.” he ignores you and sat beside you. already grabbing the needed materials and you both began in silence.

working with michael isn't so bad. he wasn't his usual asshole self who picks fight at school and insults someone for how they look and their skill. michael's behavior placed you in a dangerous situation with him and interactions with him meant to break what little self-confidence you have. opposite he was. he was so good at following up instructions and have studied in advance. it looks like it was better that you should both have split the workload.

“oh i forgot, i would be a bad host if i didn't you offer you some food. i've gotten brownies in that newly opened bakery.” he said, taking off his round glasses he was wearing while you both worked. michael screams like he comes from old money from how he acts and it was totally out of character for him to offer you some refreshments.

he placed a tray of food in the table. consisting of various sweet treats and some drinks. “pick what you want, sweets.” the nickname made you cringed cause michael is really acting nice to you. something's very off at this whole situation. looking at the assortment of sweets in the tray. you hesitated but the look michael is giving you told you otherwise. so you grabbed one and took a bite. “good choice.” he praises you before grabbing a treat for himself.

the brownie's good. the chocolatey goodness melting in your mouth, bursting with flavor. you hum in delight to show your appreciation for the good food and michael nods. smiling a bit and slowly chews. you just only ate one. afraid that he'll comment something and you would rather die than have him say something. it took awhile before you both decided to pick up what's left of the work.

strangely, you have never been feeling so lightheaded before followed by a strange pounding on your head. you grasp the pencil you were holding and it only rolls away from you. you try grabbing it again and it feels like you were holding air. “is something wrong, (y/n)?” you follow the sound of the direction of the voice. why was kaiser is blurry to your vision. did h-he? you were unable to finish your muddled thoughts and even in such state you feel his lips to yours.

your lips is what he imagined to be. soft and plump with the right touch of sweetness. thanks to the brownies. heh. it wasn't really he brought. he put an effort to it just to have what's in front of him. the drug that ness brought him did work just like how he wanted it. you were still conscious and a bit aware of everything but is unable to do anything but he is quite surprised that you were still able to move a bit even it was just an attempt to push him off.

“i can't have you pushing me. i really worked for this.” is what you heard before you are being pushed slowly in his bed.

when you laid there in his bed. michael admires you like he was a painter of his greatest masterpiece. looking like some baroque period painting coming to life while your body's is temporarily incapacitated. his efforts have bore results and he's about to sow.

he begins to strip you. quite annoyed from the layers of clothing you wore. he knows it was fully intentional. not wanting to be called a slut nor a prude by him. he knows his harsh and he likes people when they cry and you were no exception of it. he could have bullied you. break you and pull you apart until you were left nothing but michael withstood all the desires of it cause he wanted you like this. helpless and needing of him.

his palms slowly glides through the expanse of skin. you were the definition of what he deemed perfection in his eyes. your perfectly fit in his and he was about to mold you from his very own hands. he can see the tears pricking in your eyes. glistening as you helplessly watch him defile you.

kaiser never liked giving and receiving. he only takes but what's between your legs leaves him hungry for it. the plushness of your fat pussy drooling with slick is enough to drive him crazy so he did what he did. giving your fat pussy a lick and he was hooked immediately. he continued to devour your pussy until he was satisfied besides his cock is really needing some relief and it was painful. he just found the right place to stick it on.

it was only the tiniest of moans and gasps coming from you but he sure enjoyed it. a symphony being composed and is a music to his hears he won't get tired of listening to. he grabbed and bite whatever his hands and mouth can get to. you were so fucking supple and divine. fitting for an emperor like him. the way your body jiggles and ripples with his very thrusts leaving him grunting and growling for more. your fat pussy is deliciously wrapped around his fat cock that it leaves a drooling mess to your cunt. he already has cummed many times and it squelches with every thrust along with your pussy. his cum being deposited inside of you.

michael glances at the clock. the night is still young and he was going savor all of it until the morning comes. he continues to assault your abused cunt. smiling to himself at the direction of where his phone is currently placed. he needs to commemorate this special occasion.

you were sore. your body screaming in pain while you grab the pieces of your clothing besides you. the tears uncontrollably running down your cheeks while you scramble to get your things and leave this hell hole that was michael's room. “why are you crying?” he asks, sipping a cup of coffee. dressed in his robe and his reading glasses resting in the tip of his nose. “fuck you, michael.” you seethed at the blonde. michael chuckles. “strong words coming from you.” he added.

you were about to grab the last belonging of yours before he interrupts you. “i believe you have a favor to ask me.” your eyes widens. he shows you a video of him repeatedly fucking you. putting you in different positions. “don't you dare, michael.” you warned him. “you fucking raped me, you son of a bitch.” michael didn't really like the tone of your voice and it just triggered something to him. he stands up and made his way to you. grasping your soft jaw in a tight manner. he forces a smile. “oh, i really am.” he taunts you. his blue eyes is filled with storm inside them. “defy me and you're getting this video leaked.”

“what the fuck you want?”

“watch your tone.” he warns before smiling.

“be mine and i'll let this thing disappear like it didn't happen.”

“fuck no.”

“oh really, such a shame. you were enjoying it. see?” he really made it look like you were having the best night of your life. he wipes the tears on your round cheeks.

“good.” he whispers. seeing the look in your face and it left him triumphant.

“don't leave. we really ain't done. i am still starting to enjoy it.”

[whetstonefires]

One thing I've been delighted to realize in life is that people absolutely do subject each other to impromptu history lectures about the state of the world and how it got this way.

That is a totally realistic expository device. People absolutely talk like that.

The trick to making it really work is making sure to develop voices and opinions for the characters being used for this that are clear and distinctive, and stick to these rigorously. The more actively human the parties, the more it can become the sort of interaction you see all the time at the pub, and not the writer clumsily seizing on a mouthpiece.

The three main modes are first, preaching to the choir, where you're just restating what you already know you all agree about, which is basically a group bonding behavior but does also function as sort of ideological dress rehearsal sometimes.

Second, argument, ranging from virulent disagreement through irritating harangue to the sort that is basically a form of play, where maintaining opposing positions on some point is something one does as much to have the pleasure of arguing it regularly as anything.

Third, the lecture to an audience that while not actively arguing, is not positively engaged either. This is a very popular model but it's also the worst one. The urge to lampshade your own expository sins and the fear of being boring by placing that boredom in the story is almost always counterproductive; generally your readers will feel the way you tell them to feel, and boredom is quite easy to suggest.

(If you aren't confident you can influence your readers' feelings to that degree probably spend some time working on less ambitious projects to build up either your skillset or your confidence.)

Don't use the 'unwelcome lecture' approach to embedding an infodump unless 1) the bit of exposition is very short or 2) your intention is for the readers to obtain but overlook a vital clue amidst the boring; in the latter case ideally make the lecture the B-plot of a scene where something more arresting is happening also.

[changbunnies]

Crave, Part 2 (18+)

♡ Pairing: Romantic Demon!Hyunjin x Human Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: supernatural au, demon au, age gap relationship typical in monster fucker fics, coworkers to lovers and love triangle vibes :')

♡ Word Count: 6.5k

♡ Summary: "The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain." - Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy. In which Hyunjin, a demon from the nine circles of hell, finds himself impossibly infatuated with the very human he once set upon himself to destroy.

♡ Warnings: this is a part 2! read part 1 here, more immoral behavior and thoughts + ideas from hyunjin ofc, supernatural abilities, themes of possesiveness and jealousy, more talks of sinful acts / feelings from the perspective of a demon, reader's age is not specified but it is implied to be at least mid twenties.

♡ Notes: sorry ya'll it took longer for this to come out than i intended, i wasn't feeling well so i was resting ;v; and tbh i still don't feel well but i really wanted to keep writing so i powered thru to get this done!! this part is story focused but dw, explicit smut is coming next <3 the focus here is building up their relationship so that the smut feels like a natural development and they aren't just instantly in love lol i hope you enjoy it!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

How do you make a human fall in love? A question that is perhaps simple in theory, but Hyunjin hasn't wooed a human in centuries, and much has changed since he last blended in with society. In the modern age of technology, sin is at the most rampant it's ever been. The common man can access all manner of sin from the palm of his hand with a single device, and it has made the act of integrating into human society an unnecessary practice for demons. 

There's a plethora of human sin to feed from at any given moment, and obsolete is the need for a demon to blend in with the humans that walk the earth, no longer required to be a snake in the community garden just waiting for their moment to strike and consume. Though an outdated method to obtain their wants, integration with humans can still be done, if only the demon in question wishes to do so- and as Hyunjin has come to realize, he does if he wants to win over the object of his desire. 

Despite how long it's been since Hyunjin walked among them, he wasn't ignorant of modern human culture; he still had to be well-informed if he wanted to be effective and efficient in sowing the seeds of sin in feeble minds, after all- his work in the second circle required such knowledge, and it was also a benefit when it came to deciding which soul he would drink from to sustain himself. 

He knew perfectly well how to use most modern technology, knew how to dress in a manner that was unique to his own tastes but suited the trends of the era, and whatever "pop culture" knowledge he lacked, as it was called by humans, he could blame it on things such as "preferring to stay off social media," or "not watching much tv or playing much games," and most would take it as a fair, reasonable enough excuse, even if the person asking questions of him could not relate to his answer. 

In the last century especially, most of Hyunjin's public outings were limited to a few hours at most, spending that entire time scoping out who'd sustain his cravings the most. Nightclubs in particular were an easy place for Hyunjin to get a quick fix of the lust he needed, sustaining him well enough when his preferred love-drenched lust was still being built to its peak. 

Despite all his experience in human matters, there was something that posed a problem for him initially. Since moving into your lavish suite, you worked from home- a luxury Hyunjin assumes you have from a high ranking position within whatever company you work for (especially if this is the kind of place you can afford to live in on a single salary.) But if you only ever left the house long enough to run errands, how was he supposed to meet you organically? And further still, how does he meet you in such a way that makes contact with you consistent, that makes you want to talk with him and be in his presence? 

He could, theoretically, stage a meeting, pretend to be a neighbor entering the building at the same time or "accidentally" bump into you while shopping for something he has absolutely no use for, only to then charm you the moment your eyes lock with his. The problem with that approach is that charming you defeats the purpose of what he wants; for you to have genuine, real love for him, and only him. And asking you out after meeting you just once, in a situation where you have no reason to connect with him further, could be uncomfortable or off-putting in the eyes of women. What woman likes to be hit on by a stranger while she's grocery shopping? 

Hyunjin's human form is attractive, sure, but looks can only carry him so far when it comes to making a woman fall for him. His appearance is useful for one night stands, but he needs to show you more substance than that if he wants you to desire him beyond the physical- and he was sure based on his observations of your character that you weren't vain or superficial enough to fall for him based on looks alone. 

Thankfully, he didn't have to ponder on these questions for much longer, because only a few short days after you finished all your unpacking and decorated your apartment to your liking, you returned to work. He could tell easily enough what your destination was when your routine suddenly deviated; for the first time since moving in, you had turned on a repeating alarm for 6 A.M, and your choice of business casual clothing and subtle, office appropriate makeup told him all he needed to know. 

Hyunjin followed you there, naturally; presence hidden, lingering in the shadows with the intent to best establish how to infiltrate your work environment. As he expected, you held a high ranking position inside a corporate office- head of human resources for one of the many subsidiaries of some conglomerate Hyunjin had never heard of, as typically there is no need or reason for him to be well versed in human's business dealings. 

Becoming someone you work with directly would be the best route, he was sure. Whether on equal ground or as someone answering to you on a team, it was the option that gave him the most opportunity to create a connection with you, and maybe be the start of one of those sappy office romances that humans seem to enjoy in their media. 

It was fine if there were no employment openings- it'd be simple for Hyunjin to create one by exerting his influence over a human's mind. He'd pick out whomever you liked the least, someone who bothered you either overtly or simply by being an inefficient worker, and he'd take their place. He could plant the idea of a career change, a desire to move across the country, or simply get them fired should the gentler, subtle approach be deemed too time consuming for Hyunjin's taste. 

Of course, Hyunjin knew jack fucking shit about how your job truly works or what would be required of him if he was on your team, but that was fine too- it would be easy for him to fake his performance when necessary, and charm any who questioned his work abilities. He wouldn't enjoy lying to you directly if there was ever a need for it but, well.. The ends justify the means, don't they? And while he wouldn't charm you for love, certainly it wouldn't hurt to do so to make him appear a better worker than what he would be in reality, right? 

No matter what his hypocritical justifications were, he’d do anything necessary to make you his, even if it meant having to lie at times. It was a foreign feeling, being conflicted about lying when typically lying came second nature to a demon, but he supposed his infatuation for you is what makes it feel different. Is that why truth was considered a godly virtue? It was the first time in his life that just the thought of lying, before it could even be an act done in the first place, felt.. wrong.

Maybe because on some subconscious level he recognized that love woven from lies isn’t true, no matter how much he’d wish it to be. Even if you fell sincerely in love with him, would it still satisfy him to have gotten there based on tricks and lies? When he determined that the answer to that question was a firm “no,” he vowed he would do his best to keep lies far from his lips when it came to you, even if that made his goal more difficult to achieve. Strange, how this was easily the most human he’d ever felt. 

In a way, it is almost natural to feel this way, to be met with internal conflict for the first time in ages; most demons are born directly from human sin, after all. What is he, if not the physical manifestation of a human who has fallen from perfection? More powerful than a mere human though he was, his proverbial soul still held an innate inclination towards sin, the struggle with temptation and decadence inherent to his very being, as hypocrisy and corruption went hand in hand with sin, hand in hand with the very human condition he would oft wrongfully deny he felt.

And that wasn’t the only human emotion that came to him when he watched you at work for the first time. Most of the morning was spent rather uneventfully, Hyunjin’s time dedicated entirely to scoping out the environment and determining where he’d best fit within your corporate world. He observed the people on your team, who was designated where and what their duties were, keeping track of what feelings and opinions you had for whom, looking out for who he would be able to effectively replace.

Without warning, he sensed it, felt it, tasted it- love, seeping out of your pores, heart suddenly alight and a smile that should be reserved for him lingering on your lips. Jealousy pricked Hyunjin’s skin before he could even fully process the scene before him, a deep fondness in your eyes as a man that Hyunjin could only assume was from another department approached you with a smile of his own.

Shit. It was expected that he would find out who you loved eventually, but he didn’t anticipate that it would be here, in the very environment he was setting up to be the stage for your romance with him. The man asked you questions and talked in ways you’d expect to hear between friends or coworkers- “how’d the move go?”, “are you settling in well?”, and “you should invite me over sometime!”

It was the last statement that made Hyunjin’s eye twitch with suppressed anger, not much liking the idea of the person you’re in love with being alone with you in your apartment. Every time you giggled at something he said or blushed when the man held your gaze, it nearly made him sick with envy. Fuck him, he didn’t deserve you, Hyunjin thought, I'm better than him in every conceivable way, that should be me.

This man didn’t love you the way you loved him; Hyunjin could tell, could feel the platonic affection that radiated from him. And instead of being happy about the implication that Hyunjin would have no rival for your affection when he pursued you in earnest, it almost made him more pissed off. This guy didn’t even know how fucking perfect you were, didn’t seem to notice the way your eyes sparkled with affection, how your heart raced when he hugged you, or the bashful smile that lingered when he invited you to share your lunch hour with him.

He’s a complete fucking idiot for not being head over hells for you- you, who’s only sin is lust, who is beautiful, intelligent, humble, and positively radiant in presence without even realizing just how much value she truly has. It’s okay, he has to remind himself, it’s a good thing his one-sided rival doesn’t share your sentiment; because when Hyunjin shows you how beautiful you are, treats you with the reverence you deserve, your heart would surely shift to beat for him instead. He’ll make sure of it.

You let out a sigh as you comb through the next resume that found its way to your desk, exhausted from the amount of interviews you've conducted today. This was probably your least favorite aspect of your job if you were being honest; being the head of human resources put you in charge of all recruiting efforts, scanning through countless applications to determine who was the best fit for the company, but you never enjoyed doing it. 

It always makes you feel guilty to determine someone else's worth based on a flimsy piece of paper and interview first impressions, where nerves are almost always at their peak as the person sitting across from you makes their best conscious effort to impress you. It is also not a job you can delegate to someone else on your team, unfortunately; your place at the top of the HR department made all hiring decisions entirely up to your own discretion. And apart from the guilt of knowing you couldn't hire everyone that walked through your door, it was so tiring to go over the same questions multiple times a day with a myriad of strangers. 

Hwang Hyunjin was the name of the last person you'd be interviewing today (much to your relief) and you hoped he'd be the person to wow you in the end, as you have lukewarm feelings to who you've met thus far. Despite the impressive credentials on most resumes you reviewed, none of the people you'd met seemed to be a good long term fit for the company; some of them would likely only be good as temps, needing to be let go unless they showed substantial improvement in the areas they were lacking in. 

It was a terrible thing to judge someone based on whether or not they were able to calm their nerves or had enough charisma, but when working for corporate conglomerates you can't afford to be meek. It was okay to be shy and reserved in your personal life, many people in the office were, but for the sake of professionalism you're required to have the ability to put meek tendencies aside. If the interviewee couldn't speak with confidence, then you had reason to believe they'd crack under the daily pressures of speaking with representatives of other departments or when handling sensitive negotiations. 

Unfortunately, you don't typically have the luxury of giving applicants the benefit of the doubt or the ability to give them the opportunity to change your first impression of them. You take a glance at the clock hanging above the door to your office, opposite of your desk; it's just a few short minutes until you meet your last applicant, and you pray he'll be the person you've been looking for. Despite how desperate you are to fill the hole in your team after Mina's extremely abrupt resignation and move out of the country, you still don't want to hire just to fill the gap she left- you want someone capable and confident on your team. 

You take one last passing glance at the man's resume, making sure you're familiar with his education and work history, not wanting to be mistaken on any of the details listed. A short succession of knocks are heard on your door a few moments later, and you look up from the resume you're rereading to see Nayeon opening the door just enough for her head to come into view. "M-Ma'am, H-Hwang Hyunjin, uh- he's here for his interview," she speaks in a timid voice, face flushed the brightest pink you'd ever seen on her. 

Your brows furrow ever so slightly in wonder and concern at her out of character demeanor; Nayeon is among the most confident and well spoken employees on your team, and you've never known her to stutter or appear so off kilter. "..Right, send him in," you say after a moment, wondering if her attitude shift is due to the stranger you'd be meeting shortly; if that is the case, you'll have to talk to her about it once the interview is over- you wouldn't want to hire someone the people on your team are uncomfortable around. 

She nods and opens the door further, the silhouette of the taller man coming into view just slightly behind her. "Right in here," she mutters, stepping to the side and motioning for Hyunjin to enter your office. It becomes immediately apparent what the reason for Nayeon's abnormal behavior is; Hwang Hyunjin is easily one of the most beautiful men you've ever seen in your entire life. 

Black hair that just begins to touch his shoulders tucked neatly behind his ears, a few strands left untouched to frame his face, accompanied by wide circle glasses that seem to further enhance his beauty. He's dressed well, his suit modern and sleek but not overly formal for the setting, his accessories tasteful and understated, as they should be in an office environment- just a simple, long chain necklace and small, almost dainty hoops on his pierced ears. 

The reason that a man this gorgeous would even be applying to work here when he could easily make a fortune being a model is beyond you. You're quick to correct the initial surprise on your face, hoping that the man you'll be interviewing didn't notice how struck by his beauty you were when he stepped in. And how could you even know that he did notice you had a reaction to him- and not because of any overtly obvious expression of attraction, but because he could hear the beating of your heart with his inhuman ears, its steady rhythm taking a sudden, erratic jump the very moment he first stepped through the door. 

Nayeon is quick to close the door behind Hyunjin once he has stepped fully inside your office, leaving you in privacy for what will likely be the most difficult interview you have ever conducted, and not for the reasons you would've otherwise expected. "Have a seat," you speak clearly, as if your heart wasn't stuttering just mere moments ago, motioning for Hyunjin to take one of the chairs sitting opposite of your desk. "Pleasure to meet you, Hyunjin," you say after he's taken a seat, politely holding out your hand to shake his.

"Likewise, ma'am. I'm grateful to be considered for this position," he responds with a smile so effortlessly charming that you have to once again remind yourself that this is a professional setting and you shouldn't be thinking about how handsome the potential new addition to your team is. If you were a worse woman with lesser morals, you'd hire him on appearance alone- his flawless skin, plush, soft, almost inviting lips, and the little mole that sits daintily under his left eye are all positively bewitching to look at. 

You collect yourself after a brief mental scolding, deciding to get straight into the most pertinent questions you have once he's settled in his seat, opting to waste no time in getting straight to the point. While this approach does make the interview more tense for the applicant, you find it best to go about it this way to make sure they're truly ready for the sort of discussions that will be expected of them should they get hired. You don't expect perfection, but more accurately determination- if they can maintain a confident air about them under pressure, that's typically a good indicator to you they'll be a good fit for your team. 

Equally, you don't mind if they stumble over their words a few times throughout the course of the interview as long as they show the ability to bounce back from any slip ups. Error is expected at some point, as we are all human- you just want to assess their ability to come back from a mistake when speaking, and to see if they are able to maintain their composure in situations that may not be the most ideal or comfortable. 

The ease at which Hyunjin answers your questions has you convinced that he's perfect. He speaks confidently, coming across as self-assured and charismatic, not at all stuttering or faltering when you ask him to speak candidly with his own words. You appreciate a well rehearsed answer of course, but you like to ascertain whether or not the person you're considering for the job is able to maintain confidence when not using an internal script or reciting their memorized resume. 

Some struggle to do so, losing confidence in themselves the moment they are expected to go off the cuff, while others find it to be a trick question of sorts, as if you're baiting them to say a flaw that would place them out of consideration for the position they're applying for. What you value most on your team is adaptability- it's okay to falter for a brief moment, as long as they are able to collect themselves quickly and continue where they left off. And Hyunjin's ability to do just that is utterly astounding. 

He has an almost effortless sort of confidence and charisma about him; something unique and special that you don't often see, a state of being that isn't learned, but rather is innate to who he is. Even when he briefly pauses or lets out a small "hmm" as he thinks about his answer to your question, it never feels like he's struggling to find his answer- more accurately, it seems that he already knows what his answer is, and is just pondering on the best way to phrase it before speaking. 

It seemed that even his unrehearsed, unfiltered answers were nearly perfect, his ability to speak leaving you almost in awe. Truly, in the year and a half it's been since you were promoted to head of human resources, you'd never conducted an interview where the person you were speaking to seemed this effortlessly natural and comfortable in what is otherwise a tense situation. Honestly, you'd be a fool not to hire him right on the spot- his ability speaks for itself, and you're confident that any weaknesses he has can be corrected quickly and easily with more experience in the work environment. 

So you congratulate him, smiling as you once again hold out your hand and welcome him as part of your team. And Hyunjin smiles too as he takes your hand in his, knowing that this is just the start of what is his grand plan to make you his.

In the months it’s been since you first hired Hyunjin, he’s come to learn so much more about you than he did just lingering around in your apartment, and with that has come an even deeper appreciation and desire to have you. Your good nature, which he knew you had from little interactions at shops and cafes, was now able to be fully seen by him- from the way you cared about your team, treated them like equals despite the fact that you were their superior in rank, and how you encouraged and fostered true friendships between everyone on your team. 

You held so much sincere care for everyone around you, and you lead with compassion and kindness at the forefront. If someone was sick, having an off day due to mental health, or simply felt the pressures of life weighing them down, you always met them with compassion, encouraged them to get better, and never made them feel bad about themselves for any small slip ups that occurred while they were struggling with something. 

Of course, in this line of work it’s vital that they show up always ready to do their utmost best and show others the best versions of themselves, but you weren’t some militant manager that expected people to always be at 100%. It’s unrealistic, and hypocritical to expect perfection, so instead you always did your best to accommodate them when they were low, and that consideration resulted in your coworkers and employees having a great deal of respect for you, and caused them to always put in their best effort. 

By extension, your care for your team resulted in equal care towards you, and it seemed they greatly missed you when you were absent due to your move. They had fine enough leadership while you were gone, sure, but it wasn’t the same without you- the one who made them feel comfortable, secure, and made them want to perform well at their jobs. What Hyunjin felt watching you was something akin to pride- and it was strange, as he had never felt pride for someone else before, usually not even for himself. 

He just liked seeing you succeed, if he had to guess; he liked knowing the woman he desired was not only beautiful in body but also in soul, just as he suspected her to be when he first came to put aside his anger and truly know her for who she is. What a happy accident it was, that he happened to be gone when you finalized your move to suite 13; because otherwise how would he ever have known what it was like to care about someone other than himself? To understand what it is that makes a human God’s greatest creation? 

He gets it now, he thinks- why God prioritized humanity, why he loves them despite how flawed and drenched with sin they are. And again, it occurs to Hyunjin how hypocritical he was before, and continues to be even now, how foolish it is for him, the very embodiment of sin, a being who is supposed to uphold depravity and ruin, to be infatuated with you, who is the very image of benevolence.

Hyunjin got to see so many new sides of you, sides that didn’t make themselves known within the 4 walls of your apartment, sides that made him fall for you more and more. A demon can’t experience love the way a human does, but he thinks this is the closest to love a creature like him will ever have. Obsession, longing, desire.. Isn’t that all a manifestation of love? Perhaps one does not need a true heart and soul to experience what love is, maybe all that one really requires is feeling. 

Most sins are a feeling- lust, pride, envy; all are an emotion you feel strongly within your gut, a natural reaction that cannot be prevented from pricking your skin or making your stomach twist. It’s innate, woven into the DNA of every creature with higher understanding. With all that mind, who is to say a demon can’t love? Maybe it won’t be felt in the same way a human feels it, but if love is a feeling, and sins are a feeling, then what truly prevents him from knowing love? 

As equally as he learned about you and himself, he also learned about the man you had developed feelings for- Yunho. According to Nayeon, who was apparently a wealth of information when it came to the subject, you met Yunho in college and have been friends with him since. You grew quite close in your time studying the same major, and as fate would have it, you both ended up working for the same conglomerate after college. 

While you ended up here, promoted to head of the department when the opening became available, Yunho worked for a different subsidiary within the same building; so while you technically worked for different companies, you shared the same CEO, and had ample opportunity to meet and talk during the company lunch hour and maintain the friendship you had in college. 

Well, he imagines you would’ve still been friends with Yunho regardless of where the two of you ended up in life after graduation, but still seeing him daily certainly didn’t help you get over the college crush you had on the man. And you had tried to move on- you’re not stupid, you know Yunho doesn’t feel the same way as you, but your relationships never worked out as you’d hoped, and you’d always be left still battling your unrequited love for your best friend. 

Though you are always professional, it was obvious, at least to the other women in the office, that you had deep feelings for Yunho. They could always tell in the way your face changed when he was near, displaying a timid smile that only ever showed up for him, the flush on your face subtle but recognizable to those who knew you well.  

And by extension, it became increasingly obvious to the rest of the office that Hyunjin was down bad for you, and hated seeing you with Yunho. His face too always changed when Yunho arrived, though in an entirely different way from you- Hyunjin would be positively seething with jealousy, always failing to mask the frown of disapproval when Yunho stepped into your office to talk and invite you out for lunch outside the building. 

And Hyunjin, who was always a gentleman anyways, was even more so when it came to you- holding open doors for you when walking somewhere together, carrying stacks upon stacks of heavy paperwork so you wouldn’t have to do it, memorizing the way you liked your coffee so he could get it for you and you could focus instead on your work. The only time Hyunjin ever wasn’t smiling, it was when you were giving your affection to Yunho, and it was painfully obvious how bad he wanted you. 

If Hyunjin was trying to keep his feelings a secret, well.. He failed to do so at every turn. Everyone in the office could tell how he felt, and while they would never admit it, most were just waiting for the day he’d ask you out, as it seemed to be more and more inevitable that he would. Some who had been your coworkers since long before you were even promoted and knew of your unrequited feelings, hoped that Hyunjin could be the person to finally give you the happiness you deserve. 

Even you yourself began to suspect that Hyunjin liked you as more than a friend or coworker, because why else would he go so out of his way for you? Why else would his face change whenever he saw Yunho? You can still remember the way his smile dropped when Yunho stepped into the room when you were having lunch with your team, how Hyunjin subtly clenched his teeth and tightened his fists, how he’d practically glare at the man before replacing his expression with the most forced smile you’d ever seen him have for the sake of professionalism. 

Were you being delusional? To say Hyunjin is fucking gorgeous is an understatement- he’s practically ethereal. And while you wanted to move on from your stupid school girl crush on Yunho that continued to grip you all these years later, wasn’t it too much to fantasize about Hyunjin being the person to finally make you happy? He could have anyone, and you couldn’t understand why he’d want you of all people when he could easily bag someone more impressive than you. 

You did well for yourself, but you didn’t consider yourself particularly desirable.. Maybe years of unrequited love and failed relationships made your confidence tank more than you realized, at least when it came to love and romance. And while there were other couples in the office, you worried it’d be unprofessional of you to date someone who you are technically the boss of.. Shouldn’t you be more concerned about the power dynamic instead of worrying about whether or not you were desirable enough for Hyunjin to want you? 

God, you really needed to get your priorities straight before you did something stupid; and certainly you were just reading too far into things. But still, while your feelings for Yunho didn’t go away, you still couldn’t deny that your heart would race whenever Hyunjin smiled at you, couldn’t ignore how goosebumps would erupt on your skin when his hand lingered on yours as he handed you a perfectly made cup of coffee, couldn’t help but linger on the the thought of what a perfect lover he must be.

As if sensing you were thinking of him, you hear a knock on your door, breaking you out of your thoughts and seeing Hyunjin crack open the door. “May I?” he asks, and you smile politely with a nod, motioning for him to enter your office. “Hey Hyunjin, what’s up? Need something?” you ask and he shakes his head, sitting on the chair in front of you. “Nothing work related, though I do want to ask you something,” he replies, and immediately your mind wanders to delusional territory again, though you quickly try to shut it down. 

“What is it?” you ask, trying your best not to fill your brain with the thought of Hyunjin making a move on you. Be professional for God’s sake. “I was wondering,” he starts, looking at you with that charming smile that is so natural to him and you always have to stop yourself from folding over, “If you don’t have any prior obligations today, would you like to have lunch with me?” 

Oh no. He’s adding fuel to your delusional fire. “Just us?” you ask, trying to mask your hope or the way your heart is picking up speed. You really want to be chill about the invite, but you really can’t help but hope the invitation means something more. He’s perfect, how could you not? You’re only human, after all. Isn’t it natural to want someone this fucking beautiful to want you? 

“Yes, just us. You don’t have to consider it a date, but.. I would be happy if you did,” he smiles, head tilting to the side in an almost playful display, and your heart jolts. He’s not just playing with you, right? He wouldn’t, would he? But you have to ask, “You make it sound as if you want me to consider it a date. Are you saying you like me?” 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, ma’am,” he replies without hesitation, confidence fully on display. It’s as if the possibility of you saying “no” has never crossed his mind. Well, you’d probably be confident too if you looked anything like him; you don’t imagine he’s been rejected often. And well, you certainly won’t be the person to hit him with his first rejection either; you’ll have to ask a third party to handle the necessary paperwork if things go well between you and Hyunjin, as the head of the department can’t approve and oversee her own consensual relationship agreement, but it’ll be worth it, you think. 

After all, if someone this beautiful and seemingly perfect wants you, why deny yourself the opportunity? Even if it doesn’t work out, maybe he’ll be the person to finally help you get over your stupid crush on your best friend that’s been going nowhere for years. Apart from his beauty, he’s always been chivalrous and attentive towards you, a true gentleman in every sense of the word. And even if it's only for a brief time, you think he can make you feel happy, desired, truly cared for.

You’re about to tell him you’d love to, when your door unexpectedly clicks open, your eyes moving past Hyunjin to see Yunho standing in the doorway. Hyunjin immediately scowls, having half a mind to rip him apart once the day is over, though he does his best to temper his aggravation. Can’t let himself lose face in front of the one he loves after all; he’s not sure you’d still be up for a date with him if he displayed his jealous, possessive tendencies this early on (not that he did a very good job of hiding them to begin with.)

“Shit, sorry- am I interrupting a meeting?” Yunho asks, and Hyunjin rolls his eyes, turning his gaze back to you instead. “No, nothing like that,” you answer, shifting your gaze back to Hyunjin, who for the first time looks concerned that you’ll turn him down. It’s subtle, but his eyes are softer, nearly pleading, though he tries his best to not display the desperation that lies underneath- the desperation for you to affirm that you like him too, that you want to go on a date with him, that you want to give him a chance. 

“Oh, good,” Yunho sighs in relief, knowing that sometimes your work bleeds over into the lunch hour. He glances at Hyunjin, a slight frown forming on his face. He’s never spoken to the guy, but Yunho would have to blind to not notice that Hyunjin hates him for seemingly no reason. “Well, uh- I’ll let you get back to whatever talk you’re having. I’ll see you for lunch when it's over?” Yunho asks, and you can see Hyunjin swallow, hands tensing as he waits for your reply. 

Please don’t reject me, his body practically screams, and you almost can’t believe that the confident man that you know is looking this nervous over potential rejection because of you. “Thanks, but I’m actually having lunch with Hyunjin today. Maybe next time?” you answer, smiling at Hyunjin to reassure him that yes, you are going on a date. No, you won’t be picking Yunho over him, despite the history that lies there.  

Relief instantly spreads through Hyunjin, and he returns your smile, his confidence returning as if it’d never left in the first place. “Oh,” Yunho blinks in surprise; that’s.. unexpected. You’ve never prioritized someone else over him before. Huh. He feels.. strange. Jealous..? No, that can’t be right. Why would he be jealous? Hyunjin stands, offering his hand to you, which you accept before you stand yourself. 

“Are you ready, ma’am? I know this cafe you’ll just love, but we have to hurry if we wan’t to make it back before the hour is over,” Hyunjin smiles, turning away to face the door, and subsequently, an almost bewildered looking Yunho. You miss the way Hyunjin shoots your best friend a smug, almost triumphant smirk; a smirk that says I’ve won, she’s mine. And even as Yunho watches the pair of you walk towards the elevator, hears you tell Hyunjin he can call you by your name when it’s “just the two of us,” suddenly he feels incredibly stupid. 

Even as he’s left standing there, watching the elevator doors close with just the two of you inside, he can feel his gut twist as Hyunjin shoots him one last smirk, one that affirms something Yunho is just now realizing- there was a reason Hyunjin hated him. All this time, Yunho was a rival for love, and he just lost the race without ever having actually participated. 

He scoffs, laughing at himself in near disbelief. What an idiot he’s been, and what a moment to realize it. He knew you had a crush on him, but what did he expect? That you’ll always be there, just waiting for the day he’d finally miraculously return your feelings after all these years? Of course you’d move on eventually; and maybe Yunho didn’t want to admit he found your infatuation with him to be a comfortable ego boost, now hit with the epiphany that his newfound jealousy over the loss of your affection is ugly and twisted. 

And truly, Hyunjin had him beat. Somehow, he knew that this was the end of your feelings for him. How ironic it is to lose due to his own complacency, his expectation that you’d always be there no matter what relationships you found yourselves in. How arrogant and selfish he’d been, assured that no matter whom he slept with or pursued, you’d be there just waiting for the day he’d finally ask you out. And now Hyunjin has you, and he’s certain he’ll never let you go.

[miss-hyoko]

Hello there! I'd like to order a "childhood arranged marriage" gado gado with Leona please! Thank you very much 💖

"This is your order, dear customer. A plate full of [The Lion's Fiancé(e)] gado-gado. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No? Then, I hope you have a pleasant meal."

The Lion's Fiancé(e)

Character: Leona

Summary: You were betrothed to Leona since childhood

Tag(s) and warning(s): GN!Reader, fluff, romantic, reader is NOT Yuu, arranged marriage, a bit spoiler about Leona's past, Leona being a little shit (affectionately)

Note: AAAH, MY FIRST REQUEST IS HERE! Thank you for requesting, anon. Your idea is so wonderful that it almost made me get a brainrot for this lion 😩✋

To establish a good relationship with the royal family of Sunset Savanna, your family then decided to make you the betrothed of Leona, the second prince of Sunset Savanna. Because of that, you often visit Leona at the palace to deepen your relationship.

The first time you met little Leona, he's kind of... a brat. He didn't hesitate to show his disdain towards you, his forced fiancé(e). Starting from the way his tail always twitching in displeasure at the mere sight of you, his ears that drop flat, and even the angry expression that adorns his face every time he senses your presence. Little Leona thought he must look very intimidating. But in your eyes, he's no different from a grumpy kitten, it makes you just want to stroke his fluffy-looking ears and tail. And how could Leona miss the way your eyes twinkle following every movement of his tail? The audacity you had!

The next meetings you spend trying to coax your grumpy kitten fiancé. Leona constantly tries to hide every time you come to visit, but somehow you always manage to find him, as if you put a tracking device on him. Over time, Leona himself felt tired from this silly mouse cat game, and he decided to give up on his fate, which was to be your fiancé. Now, every time you come to the palace, you just need to go straight to Leona's room without having to bother looking for him again around the palace.

Since getting engaged to you, Leona started to develop a new habit. And that habit is that he always deliberately sleeps on one side of the mattress, while the other side he leaves for you. He did that not because he's kind, alright? He deliberately left a place on the mattress so that you wouldn't crush him again while he was sleeping, using a stupid excuse like 'you also want to lie down, but you can't because he sleeps right in the middle of the bed'.

Leona knew he was disliked and feared by the palace attendants, all because of the frightening power he has. There were even times when Leona himself hated the power he possessed. For him, turning everything he touches into sand is a curse. But you, you say that his terrifying power is a blessing. When a disaster occurs and debris is scattered, his power can turn all the debris into sand, thus making it easier for the rescue process. And as if to prove the seriousness of your words, you held his hand, pressed it against your face, and looked into Leona's eyes with a small smile, in such a way that say 'look? I'm fine, aren't I?'. And really, that was the only moment where Leona tried his best to keep his tears in their place, hoping they won't stream down his cheeks (and he failed miserably).

Leona may never say this, but he actually enjoys –no, he loves– the time he spends together with you. All this time, he was used to growing up compared to his brother, insults and ridicules had become his daily consumption. But when you come into his life, seeing him for who he is without judging him, looking at him with eyes full of wonder instead of fear, how can Leona's heart not be open to you?

Almost all the beastmen in Sunset Savanna know that their second prince has a fiancé(e) and he's very a bit protective of them. Every time the two of you went out for an outing, Leona would put his hands around your waist or shoulders to let people know that you're with him. If someone dares to stare at you a little longer than necessary, Leona will immediately growl at that poor fellow until they take their eyes from you.

When you come to Savanaclaw to meet your fiancé, all the students there will surely greet you in a very friendly way. Gone is their usual brashness, replaced by a sickeningly polite smile. All because Leona has given them orders to treat you with an utmost respect, even they should be more respectful to you than to him. If someone's being disrespectful to you, then Leona himself will personally teach them a lesson or two about respecting one's fiancé(e).

You may not know, but Leona always tries very hard to control himself to not 'eat' you every time you do something he finds adorable, like holding his hands, sleeping on his chest, giving him a peck here and there, and other things that can make his heart beat faster than it normally does. It's not just once or twice that Leona has dirty thoughts about you, and every time those dirty thoughts start popping into his head, Leona will rush away from you to 'take care' of himself first. He may be a beastman, but he's still sane enough not to force himself on you before the marriage. Well, unless you don't mind?

All in all, Leona treats you pretty well as his fiancé(e). He may not be the nicest fiancé you can have, but he's not the worst either. He can respect your boundaries, listen to your opinions on some things, and take good care of you. The downside may be that he's not very responsive, sometimes ignores you, and also easily irritated by small things. But despite it all, you should know that Leona really cares about you. His high ego makes it a little hard for him to apologize and admit his mistakes, but if you talk to him first, he will definitely apologize in the end. Albeit, with a voice so small that you can barely even hear it.

[progamer27]

EPIC: The Musical - Character Growth

I like it when characters aren't one-dimensional, especially main characters.

Sure, it's fine and fun to have characters who are solely evil or solely good from time to time.

But I vastly prefer characters that go thru some sort of development - that takes its time -, and then come out changed by the experience.

Enter: Odysseus and Athena (and also Eurylychous)

I think it's pretty safe to say that, at least at the start of the musical, a lot of people didn't like Athena and Eurylychous too much - and were quick to label them as, at the very least, "villain-adjecent".

But now that we have had 6 out of 8 Sagas released, we can understand them better. And same for Odysseus.

Eurylychous: In the Odyssey, he is a minor character whose only role is to be a plot device (killing and eating Helios's cattle). In EPIC, Eurylychous is shown as someone more focused on the crew than anything else. Brash and Hot-headed, he is the opposite of Odysseus.

So, why is he interesting? Because we SEE (or HEAR) how he grows from just; a soldier whose first instinct is to murder (Lotus Eaters) or flee (After blinding Polypheamus), to a desperate man who wants to get back home as fast as possible - even if it means leaving his comrades behind (Circe), to a man who needs to confess his guilt (Scylla, as a follow up to Keep Your Friends Close and Puppeteer), to someone who's desperate and has given up entirely (Mutiny and Thunder Bringer).

In conclusion: Eury isn't a villain, but Just a Man. He made mistakes and was abrasive, but so would many people in his place.

ATHENA: In Greek Mythology, Athena is one of the most Hubris-Filled (Prideful) Goddesses out there. In EPIC, she is much of the same... at the Start.

Because Remember, prior to the Wisdom Saga, we only really saw/heard Athena 3 times. And in those 3 times, we get presented with who she is at the moment; A Goddess who views Odysseus as a "project/creation" (Warrior of the Mind and Remember Them), and as the less rose-tinted Goddess who lost her friend because of the circumstances (My Goodbye).

Now, at this point in time, most people would simply label Athena as a "typical greek goddess" - that is to say, a deity who doesn't really view humans as equal to her, and who lacks Humanity.

....until she meets Telemachus.

Then, the characterization... matures; she becomes less closed-off (We'll Be Fine), admits that she was pushing too hard (Little Wolf), realizes that what she did to Ody was HORRIBLE - and, if I may interject, she will probably be a bit shocked/traumatized at seeing Ody trying to kill himself (Love in Paradise), and finally as someone who realized they STILL CARE for their friend, and that tried to do everything to save them (God Games)

In Short: Athena went from being an unlikable cold goddess - one who refused to comprehend human emotions -, to being much more "human".

(And please, if you are a fanfic writer, try to write a story where Athena just... realizes how shitty her life was, and how badly she treated others, and let her have an home with the Itachan Family. She needs her friends, and she probably needs to express her emotions in an healtier way)

ODYSSEUS:....

....

....

What is there to say? The musical is ABOUT HIM, and about how the line between man and monster (good and evil) is incredibly thin... but also about how you CAN come back from the brink, how you can "Become Yourself" again.

In the Odyssey - even if the story is a banger -, I didn't get the impression that Odysseus changed too much. Sure, he may have some trauma and suicidial thoughts, but he didn't do a 180°, then another one, and finally got a better understanding of life. He was still just... Odysseus, the King of Itacha and Father of Telemachus. Odysseus, the Silver-Tounged Liar. Odysseus the sacker of cities.

In Epic....

...Well, I think you know where I'm going with this..

In Conclusion: The EPIC versions of the characters feel like Actual Characters - almost actual humans - who make mistakes and aren't wholly "pure villainy" or "goodie two-shoes".

Sure, we have example of both of these things (Goodie = Polites, Penelope, Astynax; Villains = Poseidon, Polyphemus, Scylla, Zeus, The Suitors), as well as some morally-grey ones (Dark Grey/Leaning toward Evil = Calypso; Light Gray/Leaning towards Good= Circee, Aeolus, Tiresias)

But i think that I've said enough.

[cosmerelists]

My Top 10 Favorite Cosmere Characters

Today is my birthday, so it's time for a purely self-indulgent birthday list! I thought I'd just share my own personal Top 10 Cosmere characters, which will just prove once and for all that I am SUCH a Stormlight girlie.

[Spoilers for Stormlight, Mistborn Era 1 & Era 2 and Shadows for Silence]

#10: TenSoon

I think I almost like TenSoon better in Era 2, when he's, like, an immortal quasi-divine figure who also happens to be a big, fluffy puppy. I like it when characters from different eras interact, so I was quite taken by having Wax meet TenSoon. I was also a fan of TenSoon back in the original series though, especially as his loyalty to Vin developed. And I'm one for a tragic sacrifice, so the kandra trying to kill themselves to avoid getting taken over by Ruin--that was a powerful moment (and I'm big fan of the fact that they did not, in fact, die. It was still a heroic sacrifice!).

#9: Silence

It's hard to say how much my love for Silence is part & parcel with my love for Threnody which, for whatever reason, is my favorite Cosmere planet. I like how Silence interacts with Threnody--the sheer horror and fatalism of living right on the edge of that forest, being a mother and a bounty hunter, keeping your dead grandmother in a back room...

#8: Adolin

I think Adolin is one of those characters I like because of his relationships with other characters. Especially Maya--I really love the relationship Adolin has with his sword, and when he and Maya fight back to back using the kata...that's one of my favorite scenes. I think he and Shallan are cute, and that he and Kaladin are cute, and that the three of them are a triad in their hearts. Also, and this will be a theme throughout this list, I love competent fighters and good fight sequences, so Adolin's duels really put him near the top for me.

#7: Navani

Rhythm of War really made me love Navani, I think. And not only because of that unhealthy yet somehow alluring relationship she had with Raboniel. We'll see throughout this list that I just like really competent characters, and Navani is such a smart and cool inventor of stuff, from watches to pain management devices to flying ships. And knowing what she went through with Gavilar and how she was made to think she wasn't smart or worthwhile only to have Dalinar and Raboniel recognize that yes she was smart and good at things and now she's cracked the code to make god-killing weapons and has bonded the Sibling and she's just so cool.

#6: Sazed

Honestly, I really love Sazed both before and after his ascension. I heard that people aren't always fans of Harmony, but I find him just as fascinating, if not more so--the idea of trying to balance such discordant shards in one being. But Sazed is, I think, my favorite character from the Mistborn Era 1 books. He is so sincere and smart and competent and deals with so much shit all the time. And I think he's doing his best.

#5: Jasnah

Like, Jasnah is just cool. She's so polished. So competent. So deadly. So smart. I think seeing Jasnah through Shallan's eyes for so long really made me respect and fear her as much as a reader can respect/fear a book character. That moment that she and Dalinar bonded over the book after Gavilar's death--very sweet. Kinda disappoited that we didn't get much with Jasnah & Elhokar--hard to remember they're siblings sometimes. In conclusion, I am both excited and scared to get more of her tragic backstory soon.

#4: Leshwi

Listen, I like cool fight sequences and enemies who bear a deep respect for each and duel a lot but never from a place of hatred. So, I was basically made to like Leshwi and how she interacts with Kaladin. But I also just like Leshwi's interactions with everyone. Leshwi and Moash? Awesome. "Hey you killed me once. Respect." Leshwi and Venli? Heck yeah. "I am slowly feeling you out and trying to see where your loyalties lie because they might intersect with mine." Once I am thrilled that Lewshi is joining the Listeners now. I want her to form a Radiant bond SO BAD.

#3: Steris

I seem to recall Brandon Sanderson talking about Steris as a character you don't like at first, but later you grow to love her. But if I remember correctly, I feel like I always liked Steris? Like yes, the marriage contract was a lot, but it was also so thorough and honest (and, honestly, funny). And then she just grew on me from there. As someone who makes a lot of lists, I also feel a kinship with Steris.

#2: Shallan

The first two times I read through the Stormlight Archives, I was all about Kaladin. But the third time, I really started to realize just how much I like the Shallan chapters. I think Shallan is a great character with a great arc--and I love the way she sort of grows into herself and her powers. Plus, I enjoy the slow reveal of how much she's already done--she already has a shardblade. And two spren bonds. And many murders under her belt. Quite the resume. And I really love Veil and Radiant, but especially Veil. The scene during the Oathbringer climax where she holds hand with her alters while constantly creating other alters to let them be killed legitimately makes me cry. She holds back a whole army by herself! She's amazing!

#1: Kaladin

Kaladin was my favorite character pretty much from the very moment I started reading Cosmere books (I started with Way of Kings), and he has never been dethroned in my heart. First, there's the simple fact that I love good fight scenes and fantasy heroics and people who gain the power they need at the very last second...and Kaladin does those things like every other chapter. But also, Kaladin is just such a good character. I love how he's not just a shallow fantasy hero--he has depression, and invents therapy, and struggles with guilt, and doesn't always make good choices. Sometimes the Kaladin chapters are tough--Rhythm of War was downright painful sometimes with just how much Kaladin was suffering--but even so. I will always look forward to the Kaladin parts the most, and like many, I deem Kaladin my #1 Cosmere Blorbo.

[alea-says]

H50 season 10, episode 7 thoughts...

Well, that was a trainwreck of an episode.

Like, seriously, what were they thinking? I mean, the plots aren't always the best in H50 (I know, I love it anyway), but what were they trying to accomplish there?

First, you've got Steve heading off to do the CIA's dirty work - again. They're determined to make all the US agencies out to be complete bastards, aren't they?

Then, they say that no-one can go with him.

And there's questions about Doris' loyalty (ah, Doris, how I hate what you do to Steve).

Only to end with it not being clear what she was actually up to. Like... they're saying, hey, she planted listening devices and trackers, she was doing her job.

But when she was talking to Steve she was like, hey, I just wanted some money. But also to make my entire life worthwhile. And also, I was doing something good.

Make up your mind Doris! Did you want a payday? Or to do your job? Were you trying to do both?

Am I supposed to think Steve now blames himself for his mother's death because she was doing her job? Or am I supposed to think he's okay with his decision (not the outcome, but the decision he made) because she was aiming for a payday?

And why was Doris so certain if he didn't leave that he'd end up dead or whatever, worse, something (their less than 2min convo earlier in the ep).

And why - WHY? After Steve has taken out all 50 of the cartel people with help from Junior and their SEAL buddies, are you standing there arguing with Steve and refusing to say where the cartel lady is? Huh?

Because seriously? It's not like she's a civilian - she's smart enough to know that things be serious now. Does Steve get his control issues from her? (other than the fact his trauma, which she definitely gives him, feeds his need for control)? Can she just not cope with someone else calling the shots for once?

Uh.

I dunno - I feel like the episode was kinda rushed, and a plotline around Doris that could have been interesting, etc was compressed so much it didn't end up making too much sense.

It's not like she's a once-off character. As a recurring character, I felt there wasn't enough development of what was going on.

And now poor Steve is mourning yet another parental figure.

Somebody give that man some hugs.

I am, however, very pleased that the knock on the door of his motel room was Danny (I was sitting here going, please let that be Danny - and it was!)

Also - there was only one bed!!!

I don't care that Steve told Danny to sleep on the couch, we all know he slept in the bed.

[seo-julie]

Natsu Kanna - The Child Mechanical God Ep 2

Characters: Kanna, Makoto, Keito, Kanata Release: 25/7/2024 Proofreading: leen Translation: seo-julie

Season: Spring Location: Seisoukan courtyard

✧

Kanna: Sigh… Senpai, you don't know anything, do you?

This is the latest sleeping device I developed, and I call it “Sleep Peacefully Anywhere-kun”.

Keito: What's with that name? It sounds something like that of an unsuccessful comedian's name.

Makoto: (Hasumi-senpai, your straight man¹ act is prompt and precise… I need to learn a thing or two from you.)

Kanna: The name doesn't matter. It's not like I'm the one naming it. 

Based on the latest ergonomics research, this bed is perfectly constructed so that anyone can get a good night's sleep instantly.

In addition, there is also a function that increases the effectiveness of recovering from fatigue by several dozen times. If you doubt it, would you like to give it a try?

It seems like both of you couldn't sleep, just like me. If you use “Sleepy-kun (abbreviation)”, then you'd be in a dream in no time. 

Makoto: Ah, I might be a little interested.

Hehe. I buy all those latest gadgets even when I'll probably use them only once and then throw them into the closet.

Kanna: As long as there are such curious customers, my job will not disappear.

Makoto: Job? If you're at Seisoukan, doesn't that mean you're an idol as well?

Kanna: For the time being, yes. But my main job is something else.

Kanna: Calling myself an inventor might sound shady, but that’s what I do. 

Makoto: Ah, I think I've heard of it somewhere. I see, you're that "Deus Ex Machina²", aren't you?

Keito: What is with that name? It sounds like a name made up by someone with chuunibyou. 

Makoto: (As expected! Your straight man act is so good, please let me call you master!)

Keito: Why are you looking at me with such sparkling eyes…?

Kanna: I didn't come up with that nickname for myself. "Deus Ex Machina" is not a very promising name. 

Keito: A mechanical god…? Are you actually an ingeniously crafted robot that looks like a human?

Makoto: Ahaha, he does give off that same vibe.

Kanna: …People often said that.

Anyways. Everyone, why don't you try using this bed for a while?

As an apology for causing you both concern, I'll give you two a good night's sleep.

Makoto: Ah, as I said earlier, I'm interested~♪ Do I just lie down here? And sleep peacefully until morning?

Keito: H-hey, wait, Yuuki, don't be so careless now–

Kanna: Alright.

Keito: Woah!?

(W-what? I was suddenly pushed from behind…!?)

Makoto: W-whaa, please don't crash on me, Hasumi-senpai! This bed was probably made to fit only one person!?

Kanna: –Good night, seniors.

Please sleep in peace. This way, you'll forget all the troubles of reality.

Location: Makoto's Dorm

Makoto: ……

(Ah, huh? I, was I sleeping? Was it all just a dream?)

(That was such a strange dream… But, yeah, it had to be a dream. It was so unrealistic.)

(I had a weird conversation with a weird kid under the moonlight. It's a dream, and no matter who you talk to, they'll all say, 'So what?' Such a trivial story.)

Ahaha. I must be having all these unrealistic dreams because I play these games all the time. Stop having weird delusions, I need to face reality–

Keito: Yuuki! Are you there?

Makoto: W-whoa, what a surprise!? H-Hasumi-senpai? Is there anything I can help you with?

Keito: Do you remember what happened last night?

Makoto: Yes?

Keito: I wonder if that was a dream after all… A dream is a dream, my memory is getting hazy and I can't remember much anymore.

Didn't we see a strange machine and child last night? 

Makoto: Um… No but, it was a dream, right? But, huh, did Hasumi-senpai have the same dream as well?

Location: Seisoukan courtyard

Kanna: …

(Sigh~... Looks like by interfering with their cranial nerves, I was able to erase their memories, but it seems like there was something I forgot to subtly erase.)

(Not yet, it's not yet perfect.)

(If the results are lower than what the developer expected, if the product does not perform the desired functions, then it is an utter failure…)

(...Just like me.)

(Commercialization would be difficult. There's still room for improvement.)

Kanata: Hm~m h~m?

Kanna: Is there something troubling you?

Kanata: ? Yes, well, you know, I like taking “cold baths³”. But this, “season” is a bit too cold and I'm afraid I might catch a “cold”–

Kanna: I see. Well then, why don't you try this invention.

This is called, “Kettle that Makes Everything Hot-kun”.

(Humans find things that are alike in only appearance to be ominous.)

(This uncanny feeling… Even so, I too want to overcome it.)

(I'm…)

(Not… a machine.)

Kanata: ? What's wrong~?

Kanna: No… Sorry, it malfunctions sometimes.

Kanna: (As of this moment, not yet.)

(But, I'm sure someday...)

¹ The original word used for this was “tsukkomi”. It's from what I think is a troupe(?) known as boke and tsukkomi. Boke and tsukkomi are loosely equivalent to the roles of "funny man" or "comic" (boke) and "straight man" (tsukkomi) in the comedy duos of western culture. Which is why I have opted to use straight man for the tl. ² Deus ex machina is a Latin calque from Greek ἀπὸ μηχανῆς θεός (apò mēkhanês theós) “god from the machine”. The term was coined from the conventions of ancient Greek theater, where actors who were playing gods were brought on stage using a machine. ³ The original word used was “mizuabi” which literally translates to “bathing in cold water”.

Directory

[homestuckreplay]

doing a silly dance because my gel got more viscous

(page 401-408)

Every day that Homestuck gets updated for the rest of Act 2 I will spin this wheel to predict what will happen that day, and keep track of how often the wheel gets it right. Because anything can happen in Homestuck, but also, certain things keep recurring in Homestuck. I also would 100% believe it if I learned it was written by spinning a wheel in this way, and that's not a criticism at all.

John puts the bunny back in the box, but he does not get his epic movie moment, because he puts it back in the box too hard and it falls out the other end. Unfortunately he's still a kid, and he's got a fair bit of growing and character development to do before he can be a cool action movie hero. I did rewatch the Con Air clip linked form p.20 because I thought it'd be cool if the shale imp strife had been made to parallel that scene in some way, but unfortunately I can't see a connection. Imp strife is still very cool though.

John gains two levels for defeating his first enemy, in a classic video game system where progress through the early levels is really quick, but then gets slower and slower at higher levels. We can see the first 16 levels on John's echeladder [echelon = rank in a hierarchy + ladder = climbing device], and a scrollbar that indicates there are many more to come. All the levels have fun names, and all the names we see relate to youth or childhood in some way. I would love to see the names of higher levels and find out if they're all like this, or if the ladder represents growing up and becoming an adult, and reflects this in the level names.

With each level, John gets a flashier and more colorful virtual feather on his virtual hat - from the idiom 'feather in your cap' [achievement to be proud of]. He also gets some standard video game upgrades - more health, in-game inventory space, and in-game currency (which implies the exciting existence of a Sburb in-game shop). The health being represented by viscosity suggests that it's not a greater amount of health, it's just that the health he has is harder to knock out of the health vial - which is consistent with how the imp strife worked on p.397 and p.400, and is arguably a better representation of what it means to be a physically and mentally healthy person. Real people aren't seen as having 'more' health, just 'better' health, or as tougher and more robust.

And then John does a silly dance because he's happy to be good at a video game and it's very cute.

Then, we get some new strife specibus mechanics. It turns out the strife specibus automatically updates if the nature of a wielded weapon changes - in this case, hammerkind to handlekind - and any other weapons of the same type are modified to match. This seems like a system that could definitely be exploited to get more powerful weapons. John could fix a knife to his hammer to invent the all new hammerbladekind and do bludgeoning and slashing damage all at once.

It's fun to learn that enemies within Sburb are limited by their own strife specibi, and so couldn't just - for example - steal John's weapon when he drops it and use it against him. Based on p.392 where the shale imp just punches John out, I'd guess that they start off without a specibus and can only make unarmed attacks, but have a free strife card to allocate something they find to. More powerful enemies might have multiple free strife cards and/or come with their own specialized weapons.

Bunnykind being a valid strife specibus has some weird implications, though. If John had an angry pet bunny in the house, could he now set that on the imps and use it as a weapon? Or would it follow the same rules as Rose not being able to select John with the cursor, where a living thing can't be used as a weapon? Where's the line? Branchkind is a valid strife specibus (p.37) suggesting that a plant could possibly be used as a weapon which is also alive. If it's not careful, this system could accidentally answer some big questions on the nature of consciousness and the soul.

[hyperesthesias]

Can you actually write something smutty for Viktor? Or just a guide on how to? I really want to write some Viktor smut, but I'm worried I won't do his disability justice as I'm able bodied and a dumbass

Of my twelve years on this webbed site, this has got to be the best ask I have ever received lmao

I would be happy to help, friend. I'll answer this in two parts.

Yes, I am planning on writing Viktor smut for Viktor x Anya. I had a lot happen in the year since I made the post you're referencing, but I've finally been able to get back into fandom stuff. I wanted to lay some backstory with them first though, as I am apparently a PWP kind of person lmao. It's coming soon! (No pun intended).

You've taken the first great step in recognizing that your experience and knowledge may not be congruent with potential portrayal, and therefore asking for advice. I don't mean to sound patronizing at all. I am an author and I have seen many professional authors that don't do this, so you're already ahead of the game! I wouldn't consider that dumbassery in any way, shape, or form.

I'll put the rest under a cut due to the nature of this post.

*Disclaimer to this is, of course, I don't speak for every disabled person, this list isn't extensive, and these are my opinions.

I, personally, operate under the assumption that Viktor has Post Polio Syndrome. Looking at photographs (x, x, x) it's pretty clear the animators used PPS as a framework for Viktor's movements and posture, as well as his mobility and assistive devices. People with PPS often develop need for braces, canes or crutches, and treatment for scoliosis -- all of which Viktor has. You are more than welcome to headcanon something different, as I don't believe the writers or animators have ever confirmed or denied PPS, but based on my own experience and research, I would bet money on it.

That being said -- regardless of PPS, or otherwise -- the first thing to consider when writing smut for any disabled character is fatigue. It may not be the obvious thing, as mobility devices often are the first thing to catch an observer's eye. But there is so much that goes on beneath mobility devices. Fatigue is a big one.

Consider the worst flu you've ever had -- all the time, every day, even in your sleep. It can be maddening, like you can't get any relief -- even if you take pain reliever or use other analgesics. Most people with a severe flu aren't exactly in the mood to be frisky, especially spontaneously. Many physically disabled people rely on preplanning. Having a date night where they can plan for extra pain reliever, or where they can schedule the rest of their day or week to conserve energy for a special night. The psychological energy that people need to conserve alone can take a lot of effort. Being disabled is also mentally exhausting, especially when you have a partner and their needs to consider. Giving a disabled person time to prepare for sex (or other tasks) is essential.

Related to that, is the fact the energy levels aren't always consistent. A disabled person and their lover could be going at it like rabbits for a while and then suddenly the disabled partner may need to stop because their "battery" (their physical energy levels) has run out. They may need a break for a few minutes, or they may just need to end the sexual encounter altogether.

The worst thing you (or your character) could do is take this personally. It has nothing to do with their partner, it's their body that is (frustratingly [on many levels]) not cooperating.

Something to toy with (no pun intended) when writing characters with energy level deficits is vibrators. Twice the work with half the effort. Don't be afraid to write smut with toys and vibrators -- it doesn't even have to be kinky. Toys and vibrators are normal and vanilla, all things considered. The only reason they haven't been normalized is because of patriarchal standards as to what sex is and is supposed to be.

The second thing to consider is physical limitations of positions and potential discomfort. I've seen several fanfic writers describe situations and positions that Viktor simply would never be able to do (e.g. lifting his partner onto a table or desk).

Viktor doesn't have a lot of strength. That's not to say he can't be rough or that all smut has to be vanilla. But realistically, it's absurd to think that he can lift someone else or manhandle them with any force, or thrust at the speed of light (💀). He also doesn't have any balance whatsoever post Act I. During Act I, he's able to hobble somewhat without his cane, as long as he has something to hold onto, as seen in episode three. But in Acts II and III, his balance issues combined with scoliosis would make any positions where he has to stand much more difficult.

Therefore, if you're wanting to write a scene somewhere outside of a bedroom (e.g. the lab, his office, etc.), he'd need something to balance himself. Seated sex is a great concept to play with -- very disability friendly and offers many options for all sorts of scenes. Desk/table sex is also realistic, as long as your character lifts themself onto the desk or table, and he's able to lean on it.

Scenes that take place in the bedroom also have their own limitations. He has zero use of his right leg, which means he'd need more time to get in and out of different positions. Missionary would take a toll on his back, I'd imagine, from being hunched over -- not that he couldn't do it at all, but that was more of a sidenote. Having your character straddle him, while his back was supported, is probably the most comfortable position I can imagine. Or spooning. Or maybe doggy, though I think his back and hips might get tired. But I'm just spit balling at this point. Utilizing objects from the setting is important -- pillows, having your character bent over the back of a couch, etc. This is where creativity comes in -- it's just important to keep in mind where his limitations are located on his body: his back and his leg/hip.

There are also adaptive devices for sex and disabilities.

One final thing I want to say is: don't overcorrect. This is common. It's one thing to keep a character's disability in mind, but it's another to make a disability the entire character. Just because Viktor is disabled doesn't mean he can't have the filthiest, most disgusting, raw, life changing, I-should-visit-a-confessional type of sex. However you headcanon him to be in bed is exactly how he can be. If you see him as a cruel Dom, he absolutely can slap the shit out of whoever has the pleasure of being beneath him, while he makes them beg for his mercy -- with his back and leg supported. If you see him as a bratty sub, he can be that, too -- while he lies there with a back pillow to relieve pressure off his spine. If he's the plainest, blander-than-vanilla type of lover, that's exactly what he is -- while he takes a few extra minutes to move from one position to the next. If he's any combination of those things, more power to you.

The point of writing a scene, is the point you're trying to make. Meaning: a lot of writers worry about conveying ideas and settings perfectly and with detail, while losing sight of the main point of their story. Rarely will you ever have to add paragraphs to a piece of writing in order to convey something, especially if it's not the main point. Often, it only takes one or two sentences. Keep the main point of the scene in mind. If you're writing a fic where Viktor and your character are secretly getting it on in the lab, then the point and the idea of that scene is the forbidden sex they are having. Not necessarily his limitations. You can easily acknowledge Viktor's disability by saying something like: 'Viktor sat on a chair at the far end of the lab, away from the door's line of sight. He leaned his back against the seat, allowing his spine to settle, before he coaxed his lover onto his lap. His lover straddled his legs, reaching to kiss his neck, while his hand trailed up their thighs...' You've successfully conveyed the limitations he has in two sentences, while maintaining the focus of your scene, and without reducing Viktor to a caricature of his disability. Less is more throughout your fic.

As a side note, which is completely my headcanon -- and something I've vaguely alluded to in my Viktor x Anya fics -- is that Viktor also has erectile dysfunction as a result of the PPS. Polio is a neurological virus, meaning is attacks the nerve cells, the main cause of the atrophy in PPS. It isn't common, but it's not uncommon for males with PPS to struggle with ED. As such, in my own personal stories, I have mentioned that Viktor takes medication to help with it. Sildenafil (the generic for Viagra) is a medication that specifically targets nerves.

That's my own person interpretation, though, and has no bearing on what we seen in Arcane lol.

To close this off for now, I want to reassure you that your efforts count and they matter. No one will write any depiction of disability 'perfectly'. Disability is unique to every person, and one person's spinal disability will look different to another's. Even people with the exact same diagnosis and prognosis will differ in how they experience it. You're not a dumbass. You're very intelligent to recognize the need for external resources. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the work you write, and keep asking questions.

If and when you decide to write your Viktor smut piece, I would love to read it. And likewise, if you'd like to read what I write I'd be happy to send it to you! If you're comfortable coming off anon, you can message me privately and we can talk more!

[yuri-is-online]

So I’ve got to ask, would you recommend Tokyo Revengers from your experience so far? Does the story and characters outweigh the (alleged) obnoxious currency system and money grabs?

So my gut reaction is to say no, I do not because I just cannot feel comfortable recommending this game in the state it's in, but I am going to make a pros and cons list to help maybe give you (and anyone else curious) a basic idea of where my head is at right now and help you make your own decision.

Cons

THERE ARE NO CAMPAIGN REWARDS. I cannot stress that enough there is nothing being given out to day one players to help you get started, and honestly it's super hard. Saving up for pulls feels like a foreign concept, there are so few opportunities to earn gems I have no real idea how I would even start building a stash let alone a team with the few characters I currently have. They don't give you a free SSR like twst does to help out, just the free SR from choosing your guy at the beginning though they do have a paid free SSR function. Now Twisted Wonderland does too, but like I said they give you a free one with unlimited re-rolls at the start.

Someone actually did the math about pulls and I agree with their assessment here: the cost isn't the worst I have seen in a gacha, but when you couple that with no free SSR for f2p, lack of reliable way to earn gems and I can feel it being a nightmare if the game progresses any further without a re vamp of some sort.

There really is no point to the combat or team building in this game beyond being a road block between you and the story. It's full auto which could be neat if there were nice animations but there aren't. It really might as well not be there, and that's before you get to the SSR rates...

Neither Pro nor Con

You might have noticed the above reddit user talking about the distinction between joseimuke vs otome and the reason for that is way back when this game was first announced it was supposed to be an otome game, which implies a level of explicit romance and relationship between the MC and the characters that is not typically present in joseimuke games. The current version of the game has a cast that seems to have completely changed, both character and voice actor wise. The stated reason for this and the delay was "changes in the market." It was originally supposed to be based off of Tokyo Ghoul? And was supposed to release in 2019, but was delayed until 2020, then put on indefinite hiatus until it's release now.

On an unrelated note, OG Obey Me! was released on December 11, 2019, Twisted Wonderland was released in Japan on March 18 2020, and Genshin Impact's world wide release was on September 28 of the same year. Make of that what you will.

"Yuri why did you bring up Obey Me?" Well Solomon's ring is introduced as a plot device... which could be interesting if they are going the direction I think they are with it but I don't know if I have enough faith in them for that.

The Pros

The characters in this game are honestly really fun. I really do mean that, I am not sold on their dorms/houses but the dynamics between the characters themselves are good for what they are. But the tone is very goofy compared to Twisted Wonderland (despite featuring more explicit topics) and I don't think these characters are as well developed as twst's are, but I think that can be chalked up to one of these games having been written by a manga author and the other having not.

I am a little bitch who hates horror stuff and is easily spooked but I really love how they are using modern internet horror monsters in this game. The first book features a creepy pasta monster that I was legitimately afraid of as a kid and I love their take on him. This second book features a ghost from a popular Japanese creepypasta. I'm a sucker for people being creative and using things that have become a part of popular culture without making it cringe, and I think this game succeeds at that.

Wrap Up

This entire situation has made me think about two animes I really like that I think sort of fall into the same dynamic as Twisted Wonderland and Tokyo Debunker. The first I am sure you have heard of, it's called Komi Can't Communicate and follows a girl with trouble communicating who really wants to make friends, and ends up accidentally befriending a guy who wants to help her out. The manga started being released in 2016 and is still going. It's quite good and I like it a lot.

The second is a little show called Aharen-san wa Hakarenai. It's manga started in 2017 and it received an anime adaptation around the same time as Komi san was being adapted. It follows a girl who has trouble communicating who really wants to make friends who accidentally befriends a guy who wants to help her out. I have no idea if Komi-san inspired Aharen-san nor do I really care because once you get past the generic set up, the routes the story takes are completely different as are the personalities of the characters. Komi is a slice of life and coming of age story in addition to a romcom, whereas Aharen is just a straight up romcom with a really cute main couple. There is room for both to exist because both stories do their own thing, just with a similar premise. There really is no reason Tokyo Debunker and Twisted Wonderland can't do the same, provided TD gives itself room to breathe and fixes it's damn grind.

Well assuming it picks up in Japan, it doesn't seem super popular over here right now.

[skaldish]

re: the last ask you responded to, I love the description of your relationship with Loki so much! It sounds exactly like what I'm seeking in relationships with deities. I would love to hear more about how you developed a connection that is so playful and fun, and what that looks like in day to day life (whatever you're comfy sharing of course). It just made my heart so happy, like I could feel both of you smiling as I read :)

Well, to be honest, I befriended Loki purely by accident.

Years ago, before life got hard and my creativity was sapped dry, I used to write tons of original fantasy stories. By extension of this, I also made tons of OCs.

One day in 2014, I decided I wanted to create a character who was the epitome of a magnificent bastard—an absolute conniving, rakish, and hilarious sonofabitch—and after months of trial and error I finally struck on an energy.

I was ecstatic to finally get the character down, but as time went on I noticed he seemed to do what characters normally don't do and act outside of my own whims and desires, like he was autonomous. He gave me no inspiration for his story, but tons inspiration for hijinks we'd get up to together (which I would then draw pictures about). He would also sometimes just...leave my head for days or weeks on end before returning. All of it actually weirded me out for a bit, but ultimately the joy of the relationship outweighed my fear of not really knowing what was going on.

But this ignorance couldn't last forever, and three years lafer my character revealed himself as Loki. To say this broke my brain is an understatement; it shattered my concept of reality, and rebuilding it was legitimately one of the hardest, scariest periods of my life.

So it wasn't all playful fun. There was an initiation involved. And the strife it caused nearly convinced me to kick Loki from my life for good.

These days I understand my cluelessness was actually what saved our relationship. There's no way I would have interacted with Loki on the basis of who he is, had I known he was a god. I would have interacted with his role as deity, rather than his personhood.

I guess the trick to fostering relationships like this one, is to interact with deities as people, first and foremost—people who have their own opinions, agency, values, and personalities that aren't beholden to archetypes or societal roles. Interact with them on the basis of who and how they are in relation to you, rather than as deities, archetypes, and/or allegorical devices.

Likewise, avoid slotting yourself in a role in relation to them. You are likewise a person, and not a societal role or archetype. Communicate your genuine thoughts and feelings. Be yourself, however you may be in that moment.

And then see what comes of it.

I did not (and do not) intentionally craft my relationship with Loki to be playful. Our relationship is playful because we play together, and we play together because we enjoy it.

I likewise did not intentionally craft my relationship with Eochu Bres (minor Irish deity, Brigid's husband) around discussions of philosophy and magic. We end up discussing these things because they're topics we're excited by and enjoy talking about together.

While I do have more cordial interactions with deities I don't know very well, even these are still rooted in being genuine. I don't hide how I feel (which is very often "shy and awkward") but this seems preferred over any performances, no matter how lavish.

So yeah. Be yourself, not who you think you need to be to please them.

[sunflowersandcherryblossoms]

The character everyone gets wrong?

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?

9. Worst part of canon?

The character everyone gets wrong?

Oh boy... Let me be a bit controversial here, even towards my mutuals, probably:

Kuchiki Byakuya!

Because it's very easy to say "Oh, but only what appears on the Manga is really canon" and ignore that all of it, even the fillers and omakes leave an impression on us...

And Byakuya is seen by the majority of fandom as this cold, stoic, arrogant man and he's just...not?!?

First and foremost Kuchiki Byakuya is so Autistic coded it's not even funny. Some people don't see him as such because people forget autism is a fucking spectrum!

Many people think only about Rain Man and such as a general portrayal of autism on adults.

Byakuya is for me on the high functioning side of the spectrum, but damn it if I don't look at the man and go "He's like me for real!".But then again no one believes I'm autistic either so ... There's that.

Also, he's trained himself to be always in control of his emotions, but if you paid any attention to TBTP, you know deep down inside he's got a short fuse.

He's also a lovable dork who takes things too literally, as issues with social clues, relating to others, hyperfixates on his OC, Wakame Taishi and become hyper protective of his sister the second that switch flicks in his mind that sometimes rules really suck!

Many people don't truly develop his personality beyond the Shinigami and the Head of the Clan and make him bland and boring.

Sure, write your fanfictions with him being stoic and closed off in his professional life and with people that aren't part of his inner circle, but give him a fucking personality in his mire private and intimate moments!

Also, — and this is a pet peeve of mine...— stop writing that man as the dominant person in his relationships!

He's a Captain and a Head of the Clan! Let that man relax and give control over to his partner (I'm taking about Ichigo here... We all know I cannot and will not ship these two with anyone else but eachother...)

Let the man learn how to do things that canon keeps telling us he can't do!

Let him be the opposite of what everyone else expects when he's at home.

Okay... Done with Byakuya.

Now on for question number 7.

Hisana!

Fucking Hisana!

I cried when I saw the episode with Byakuya telling her story to Rukia. I liked her as a plot point.

But man oh man... It's always the fandom, isn't it?

"Oh, she was perfect and they were truly in love with each other..." No.

"You don't understand! She was suffering! That's why she abandoned Rukia!" Listen... I tried taking my emotions out of it and consider culture and history, but I just can't excuse abandoning a baby.

There's a space of a hundred years between Hisana and Rukia dying in the World of the Living and her marriage to Byakuya.

(did I say I was done talking about Byakuya? I lied...)

She lived in Inuzuri for all that time, apparently. We have zero info on what she'd been doing, how they met, but it's kinda implied she either didn't really look for Rukia for years or she's just really bad at tracking down a child that looks exactly like her and becomes knows on their specific Rukon district for being kinda gangster...

"Byakuya should have died because he had no reasons to live for as a widower..."

I'M SORRY... WHAT THE FUCK?

And here's the fucking thorn in my side with her character: She's used as an anchor around Byakuya's feet.

Fandom denies him a life, because apparently you should be faithful forever to a dead person. You should entomb yourself in life and only live to mourn them forever.

No more laughter for you, sir... No more joy... No more love... No nothing.

You're sanctifying a plot device character that has no presence in the actual story of Bleach.

And now.... Drum roll...

Question 9:

The award for Worst Part Of Canon goes to:

The fucking ending!!!

Ichi//hime...

Boxer Chad...

Doctor Uryu...

Translator Ichigo...

Dropout Inoue...

Antichrist Kazui...

And the fucking new Hell Arc...

Like....

Excuse me???

No. Just no...

And let's not forget erasing everyone's character growth in one sweep by showing us that EVERYONE allowed for the new Sokyoku Hill Execution Scaffold to be built...

It's like we walked this path for absolutely nothing!

[pharahsgf]

Looking at that on JC fans thinking WWX belong to JC actually and makes me think about how many of the stans are just not willing to see the Wen Remnants as people within the narrative. There’s all these excuses, there’s all these “well Wei Wuxian abandoned Jiang Cheng and broke his promise! Wei Wuxian is actually the one who should’ve done things differently! Jiang Cheng made so many sacrifices like giving up his dogs for Wei Wuxian!” that it’s so so clear that they don’t see the Wen Remnants as hurt, innocent people (OLD PEOPLE AND A BABY) that WWX is protecting because it is the right thing to do and instead are a plot device for him to hurt Jiang Cheng and then fall to his own “hubris” and “savior complex” and it’s such a bonkers take, like Jiang Cheng’s feelings are more important to them in the story then like actual lives in the story.

Like both Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng commit fantasy war crimes and do some pretty fucked up stuff, the difference is Wei Wuxian is like “hmmm I shouldn’t have done most of that, that was a bad thing to do actually” and Jiang Cheng just…doubles down and continues the cycle of cruelty and so many people who love Jiang Cheng don’t want to accept that. They don’t want Wei Wuxian to have grown up and Jiang Cheng to be trapped in the past, they can’t stomach it, and it’s so funny because of the wild takes they’ll make because of it.

I love Jiang Cheng as a character, he’s complex, he’s interesting, he’s funny, and he’s *wrong*, like it’s so important within the narrative and to his character is that he’s wrong, he’s wrong to say the Wen Remnants should die, he’s wrong to help lead the first siege of the burial mounds, and then his stans take that and go “what if Jiang Cheng was completely in the right about everything he did actually?” and it’s just so bonkers

the key to those apologist narratives is that personhood is withheld from everybody who isn't jiang cheng. your average jc defense post will posit that it was more convenient for jiang cheng to let the wens die and that his specific situation and trauma made it hard for him to do otherwise, therefore the morality of his actions aren't even worth considering. it's taken as a given that jiang cheng's safety and success weigh heavier than the lives of fifty-odd people, two of which literally risked everything to help jiang cheng when the situation was reversed. jc-centric takes on wei wuxian's actions are so crazy because it's all being analysed through a lens of "does this hurt or benefit jiang cheng, the only person who matters?"

i really love these last two paragraphs. jc stans dismissing wei wuxian's development because jiang cheng is so fucking static is something i hadn't even considered lmao, but it absolutely does check out - they love nothing more than pointing at the horror movie shit wei wuxian pulled in his yllz era and claiming this means you can't criticise jiang cheng somehow, when in reality wei wuxian moved on and bettered himself while jiang cheng is an active murderer and torturer pushing 40. wei wuxian ultimately stayed true to his ideals of protecting the weak and vulnerable; jiang cheng remained as someone the weak and vulnerable need to be protected FROM.

[absolutebl]

Hello, hello, Sensei! I figured other BL fans might benefit from this Q&A, so I'm posing this question on the public channels: in your reblog of my TharnType review, you mentioned watching Dew the Movie in a comment about being surprised about the developing kinds of BL that were coming out of Thailand in 2019. Could you expound a little more on that? I'm trying to get a sense of what Dew stands for by way of where it lives in the BL history books. I'm also aware that if it weren't for Bad Buddy, that this piece would have likely been Ohm Pawat's last appearance in queer media, and I want to keep that in mind before I watch it (which will be very soon). Dew will be the only movie on my Old GMMTV Challenge list, so I want to give it the understanding it deserves. THANK YOU, *FOR EVERYTHING*, SENSEI! <3

Dew the Movie

Not a review, more where it sits in Thailand's cinematic journey and how that correlates to queer cinema and its standard pattern of evolution.

I've always though of Dew as GMMTV's My Bromance. Not the same tropes but same tenor. Sweet Student Boy is another one. Or even Your Name Engraved Herein (although that is Taiwan and superior).

All quite heavy. Not much BL.

In Thailand this style started with Love of Siam. And I would put Present Perfect in there as impactful as well (very arthouse and complicated piece that made waves in the Thai queer film industry for many reasons not the least of which was political).

Most queer cinema enters the world with this kind of offering.

There is also a gay rep vis "character patterns in cinematic traditions" that everyone pretty much knows about in ET:

if there at all = kill the gay

if there at all = punch down humor (aka fear the gay so mock openly)

gay rep narratives green lit (usually arthouse) but in order to be taken seriously by critics and greater social structure are censored away from joy (gayness not permitted to be portrayed in a positive light) = queer characters exist but are not allowed to end up happy - these shows can win awards and critical acclaim (the Broke Back Mountain effect)

magical gay advice giver (queer serves only as a plot device to help the hets) - there's usually a make-over involved

1 major gay character (usually in comedy/romance) = tokenize the queer side (aka my gay bestie)

happy ending sanitized gay romances (or skinned romances where the gay characters act like hets - see seme/uke),

actual gay romances honest to the community/experience and peopled with multiple queer characters and life stages

Of course this is not a tidy progression, we can see Thai BL (stage 6) still grappling with 1-5, but also slowly moving into and having more and more of stage 7.

Actual queer narratives (of which romance would be a subset and tends to emerge later) like Dew stay quite dark, gritty, and chewy and usually spring up along side the mainstream depiction of gay characters - around the time that mainstream film decides to acknowledge gays exist at all (and immediately starts killing them).

They just get little to no attention because they are under funded, under marketed, and scary for mainstream viewers. Society isn't ready if these are made too soon in the 1-7 progression. Which is not to say the shouldn't be made! Just why they aren't popular in the zeitgeist.

Dew is part of the "yes but what about the real gays?" side (yet parallel) evolving tradition to BL (that is only now kind of getting integrated into BL). So, stage 3.

But also all stuff I watched North American arthouse grapple with extensively in the 90s and seemed to all follow EXACTLY the same non-romantic narrative path. Therefore it feels like I've seen it a million times.

I'm personally exhausted by this kind of "picking at gay pain" queer content. I don't need to see it anymore. I got into BL because it was materially different and all ways from what happened over here in Hollywood. We never got THIS level of stage 6 and it's fascinating that Asia is lingering in it for so long.

Back to Dew...

Wistful gay?

What might have been...

Something like that?

These shows grapple with identity and expression and out-ness and courage.

It's sad and depressing.

That's about all I remember of it because it was so much like so much of what I had already seen in queer cinema. Perhaps special for the Thai queer film world, but not special for me.

Although I do remember thinking Ohm was great in it.

In the end I think Dew was GMMTV picking up and experimenting with the more universal tradition of exploring (and exploiting for drama) gay pain. It's not really a romance in the modern sense of the term... and I prefer romance.

(source)

[ramonag-if]

January Post - 2023

Hello everyone 😊 I hope 2023 has started off well for you. Since Chapter 4 of Crown of Exile is slated to release later this week, I decided to go through what's on the agenda for 2023.

Firstly, Crown of Exile will be expanded from 9 planned chapters to 12 chapters. This is because of plot reasons and also because of character and romance development. It'll also mean more content for everyone to play, so hooray.

I've also been working on making Crown of Exile available as an apk file - so it can be downloaded and played on android devices without compromising the way the game looks or plays. So far, I just need to compile the file into an apk file and I'll test it out before making it available to the public. If all goes well, I'll try making it available for ios devices next.

Depending on time, I'm planning on completing The Hedge Witch and Club Oblivion - they're both quite short and the plots aren't overly complicated so they shouldn't take too long. My main focus is Crown of Exile so I'll work on the others when I get time.

Depending on real life, my time might get swallowed up sometime this year, but for now, I'm still working with enough time to write consistently but if things change, I'll let everyone know.

If enough people want help with certain Sugarcube coding tips, I might make more tutorials. I've come a long way from when I started and I know most guides out there aren't quite beginner-friendly so expect to possibly see more how-to guides.

If you want more detailed updates on my progress and writing Crown of Exile, you can join my Patreon. There's also bonus stories and devlogs where I go into detail with what's going on behind the scenes.

Thank you for your support and for being such wonderful people ❤