#people are talking about the new waist touch i'm still thinking about this

[awriterinthenight]

"Well I Missed You Too."-Megumi Fushiguro

words: 946

warnings: kissing, megumi makes reader sad, that's it also i'm trying writing for a new fandom so enjoy

summary: How Megumi changes how he shows affection to you

Whether it was kissing, hugging, or even just holding your hand, Megumi was always too shy to show you affection in public. He'd do small acts like buying your favorite snack from the vending machines, or grabbing something out of your reach. But never did he do anything that involved touching you in any way, since it made him blush, and he didn't want people, especially Gojo, teasing him about how red his face got.

You'd first learned about his aversion to PDA when you first started dating. You were training with the 2nd years, when Itadori had taken a nasty hit from Maki. While you knew he was fine, it still worried you, so your hand instinctively grabbed Megumi's without thinking. When you were in private he always held you in some way, so you thought he'd be ok with this.

Instead of him grabbing your hand back or squeezing it comfortably. He immediately froze and stiffened at the contact, his face turning bright red. He dropped your hand, turning away so you couldn't see his face. You were left confuse as to what you did wrong. Maybe he just didn't expect it, or maybe he didn't think you needed to grab his hand. Either way it brought down your mood for the day.

Megumi knew you weren't ok, no matter how many times you said you were fine. He knew that wasn't a good sign. So there Megumi was after school standing in front of your door knocking. After a minute or two you swung your door open, Megumi speaking before you could.

"Did I do something?" he asked, his head hung low, surprising for someone usually so stoic.

You were shocked for a moment before regaining your composure, letting Megumi into your room, and closing the door behind you.

"Yes, well no," you stumbled, unable to find your words, "It's just, when you dropped my hand I-I felt bad. I thought I did something wrong," you admitted.

Megumi let out a breath, taking a step closer to you, "I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I like holding your hand, I swear. I just don't like being like that in front of people."

"I understand that," you said, nodding your head, "I just wish you'd told me, so I wouldn't have felt so embarrassed."

Megumi placed a kiss on the top of your head before he spoke, "I'm sorry, and I promise I will from now on."

Affection from Megumi shifted a bit the more you knew each other. Of course really all the kissing took place in private, or anything really affectionate. But slowly Megumi didn't mind holding your hand in front of your guy's friends, or placing a small kiss on the top of your head.

Megumi started to grow into the habit of either placing his arm around the back of your chair, or keeping his hand on your thigh. The more he was with you, the more he liked knowing that you were with him.

Recently he seemed to grow out of his shy shell. Before training started he would sometimes come up behind you, placing his hands on your waist, then planting a kiss on the top of your head. Sometimes he'd casually walk up behind you when you were talking to someone, and he would snake his arm around your waist.

Today he'd come back from a mission with Itadori and Kugasaki. You'd been forced to stay behind, recovering from an injury of a past mission. The second he saw you, he pulled you into his arms, burying your head into his chest. He'd missed you so much on the mission all he thought about was going back to you. His hand slid through your hair, the other holding you tightly against him.

"Is everything okay? Did something happen?" you asked, concerned since he never showed this much affection in front of people. Gojo was only a few feet away, and usually Megumi hated showing affection to you in front of Gojo, since he always got teased for it.

Megumi shook his head, tilting your chin forward, "No, nothing happened. I just missed you," he confessed.

"Oh," you exclaimed, surprised he was like this from just missing you, "Well I missed you too."

Unfortunately Gojo's loud voice ruined the moment when he shouted, "Get a room," before practically skipping over to the two of you. Megumi scowled, while you shook your head, finding his antics funny.

"So, I was thinking," Gojo said, swinging an arm around you two, and walking with you, "Why don't I treat you guys to dinner. By that I mean you two can go out and I'll pay," he offered, chuckling a bit for some reason no one understood.

Megumi rolled his eyes, "I don't need you to pay. I'm staying in tonight, I'm too tired to go out."

"I try to do something nice and I get denied. If you don't want me and my money I'll just leave," Gojo muttered, walking away from you too.

Megumi slid his arm around your waist, leaning on you a bit. He was tired and just wanted to sleep and rest. Eventually you and him got to his dorm, lying down on his bed.

It was quiet till Megumi broke the silence, "I'm too tired to take you out tonight, but I'll take you on a date tomorrow," he said, his voice barely a whisper, "I really did miss you."

You snuggled closer to him, wrapped up in his arms, "I missed you too, and I can't wait." You gave him a small kiss before falling asleep to the sound of his breathing

Ask to be added to taglist, I'm keeping this one separate from my other one

[thepitlanepress]

I DON'T LIKE IT –

↳ lando norris + bestfriend!reader

⌗ :: masterlist

⌗ :: a/n: im actually in a lando phase (maybe its bc i f1 is gone for months) but its effecting me so much so im blessing you all with JEALOUS/POSSESSIVE LANDOOOO AHHEHE. merry christmas my lovelies <33 (also if this is bad im sorry i was extremely tired when i wrote this lol)

usually you don't like going out with lando. the clubs, partying, drinking it wasn't exactly your scene.

so when he insists you come out with him to celebrate the constructors championship, you can't exactly say no. hence, the short fitting black dress, and nicely done, hair and makeup that you've put on. when you go out, you go out, it just doesn't happen very often.

"are you nearly done?" lando's voice calls out from the living room as he waits for you.

"yeah, i'm coming now," you call back, walking down the stairs and mentally preparing yourself to talk and interact with people.

you grab the car keys off the small table in the hallway and make your way into the living room your footsteps announcing your presence to lando, he turns around and slightly falters in his movements when he sees you.

"uh, wow, okay," he says looking you up and down slowly, his eyes raking over your body.

"what?" your brows bunch and you look down at your outfit. "i thought it looked good, is there something wrong?"

"uh... no, no, you look amazing, i just wasn't expecting you to look so nic-"

"you weren't expecting me to look nice?" you raise your voice playfully.

"no, no, no i- uh- no- look... shit," lando mutters looking down and shaking his head. "you look amazing, seriously. i just forgot how well you can pull off a black dress."

you smile, and chuck the keys towards him, "i can pull off anything lando norris, even you. and that's not something everybody can do." you wink and walk back out through the hallway to the car.

"you can pull off me?"

"yeah, not every girl can have lando norris on her arm and still be the centre of attention. there are perks to being your best friend you know."

"and there are perks to being yours," lando says unlocking the car and sliding into the drivers seat. you feel the safest when he's driving, always trusting him when he's behind the wheel.

"oh really?" you ask looking over at him. "like what?"

"you," he murmurs backing out of the driveway. you don't hear him though, too distracted by a text you received from your sister.

–––

he didn't like it, you could tell. was it the murderous looks he was sending in the direction of the guy's - who's name you've already forgotten - or was it the looks he was sending you, heated and something else? both probably.

he wasn't even focused on the crowd around him dancing and drinking their nights away.

when the guy started getting too handsy that is when you felt lando's hand wrap around your waist and causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach - which you promptly ignored.

"leave her alone, mate. she's mine," lando's voice comes out harsh his anger directed towards the man who steps back apologising - typical of him to only step back when another man steps in.

"oh sorry, i didn't know," he slurs and walks off, most likely to go puke in some poor person's handbag.

you're about to spin around in lando's arms and thank him for rescuing you but you stop short at the expression on his face. "what?" you look down at your outfit. "is it the same thing from earlier? what's wrong?"

"i don't like it."

"don't like what?" you ask furrowing your brows.

"when other people touch you," he responds quietly his voice low and tempting. thats new.

"oh," you reply slightly dumbfounded. in all your years of knowing lando norris you've always had hidden feelings for him, sure there were points when said feelings were buried deep deep down, but they were always there.

and you always thought they were never reciprocated but they way lando is looking at you right now is... something new. something you like... a lot.

"i don't like people thinking they can just touch you. they can't. because you're mine not theirs. you're my best friend. you're my person. you're not theirs to touch or hold or flirt with, because you're mine."

his arms tighten around your waist as if he's expecting you to run away at any moment.

"oh my," you breathe. "i don't know what to say."

"tell me you feel the same way, tell me that i can be yours, because you're mine, and i'm not letting you go anytime soon."

"possessive are we?" you chuckle trying to diffuse the tension because he's probably drunk, he's going to wake up in the morning and apologise about this insisting he doesn't know what he was talking about and how sorry he was.

its happened so many times before.

your heart gets crushed every time. so you don't go out with him to avoid it.

but tonight this feels different.

"i haven't had a sip of alcohol tonight, this is the most clearheaded i've ever been in a long time... please talk to me."

"lando," you whisper. your heart is teetering on the edge of being shattered to pieces and finally telling the truth. you're walking a thin line between the two hoping to fall on the right side. "i don't want this to be like those other times when you wake up in the morning apologising for what you say."

"i never meant those apologies. i remember all those nights, i lied," he breathes swaying with you to the music. "i freaked out in the morning because you would always want to talk about what happened, and your face was always so distrusting so i shut it down pretending i didn't know what happened."

"really?" you're tilting on the line, swaying from side to side waiting for the words that are going to make or break you.

"really. i've been in love with you ever since the day you stopped to pick a flower that reminded you of me."

"lando," you give him a look. "that was like the second time we met."

"and i've been yours ever since." he smiles at you, his eyes filled with clear adoration, which quickly turns to a pissed off look when someone steps up behind you and asks for a dance. "piss off mate, we're clearly talking."

you smile and don't even bother to look back at the man, everything you've ever wanted is standing in front of you and offering himself on a platter for you. and you're tired, so tired of staying on the ledge between friends and more,

so you take the leap.

pulling him imperceptibly closer you wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tightly whispering in his ear, "i'm yours too."

you can physically feel his body relax and mold around yours - a perfect fit of course.

if you fall, it will hurt for sure, but this moment, right now; flying with him, together, will be worth it if you do.

2024 © thepitlanepress | please do not steal, use, translate or repost any of my works

[kisspurins]

bed peace ⊹₊⟡⋆ j.sc

୨୧ pairings｜stepbrother!sungchan x reader

୨୧ wc｜1.9k

୨୧ warnings｜noncon touching turned duncon kinda，stepcest，soft dom sungchan，forced kissing，big dick sungchan ofc 😞，praising，crying，daddy kink，lowkey ddlg，choking，non-penetration sex TO penetration，"just the tip"，teasing，little sister big brother talk，yn's sensitive

inspired by this <3

"channie?" you whisper softly, tugging the comforter down to reveal even a sliver of his face. his breathing is shallower than usual, and he's still, but you were unsure if he's already drifted off to sleep. he never sleeps early. at least not when he's staying the night at your parents house. you repeat his name, but silence greets you, and you can't help the disappointment in your stomach. you sigh, reluctant to walk away and surrender to sleep. you lingered for a minute longer in his room, still hovering over him, too scared to turn around and leave. the walk to your room was long and dark. you mustered up all your courage just to run down here, and you don't know if you can make yourself do it again.

this was all your fault. you had a scary dream, and it was hard laying in your big room all alone with nothing but your thoughts to torture you. you feel like a kid again, close to the brink of tears, thinking of facing this fear. It's always been better for you to let sungchan face it for you. that's what big brothers are for! you would rather snuggle up in his bed and cling to his arms wrapped around your waist like he was a border to shield you. even if sungchan teased you for still getting scared this easily, you know you could count on your big brother to protect you. but he can't protect you when he's sleeping.

you reach out and push on his shoulder outside the cover one last time. when he stirs a bit at the touch, you call out for him again, “channie... I need you.�� this time, you see his eyelashes flutter, his eyes squinting as he peers at you. not even turning to look at the time on his phone, he just lifts his cover, looking back to you standing pitifully with your lip tutted out. “you okay? scary dream?" you take his actions as a gesture to slip into the bed with him. climbing to the side closest to the wall and lying directly in his arms, he drops the cover on both of you.

"mhm, had a bad dream," you finally respond, closing your eyes at this newfound warmth. he leans forward, kissing your forehead, words rumbling against your back. "I'm sorry, baby. I have you now." you smile at his words, feeling so safe and content.

a lot of people say your relationship with sungchan is weird but you never understood.

this was just sister-brotherly love. sungchan knew you better than any person ever has, even your mom. since your mom married his dad, you were forced into this new lifestyle with a new sibling with a very different personality from yours. It was hard at first, but you and sungchan clicked, and you never hid who you were with him and he never hid from you. sure he made your guy friends and boyfriends uncomfortable but they're just weird. there was nothing weird if you liked the affection and attention from your brother. the hugs, holding hands, occasional kisses on your forehead, and especially cuddling. he's your favorite guy! told you over and over again how happy he was that you were his sister, that you were the best little sister, and that he loved you more than mom and dad.

sungchan's hands roamed your hips, tugging you closer, and you let him in. his room smells of vanilla like him, and you don't think about how it has you falling deeper into him. too distracted by the goodness you feel, you don't think about the weird feeling filling your tummy when he presses himself against you, firm and hard behind you. barely thinking about how much bigger and stronger he's gotten and how he's grown into your type. you stay like this for thirty minutes and almost think sungchan had fallen asleep. but after a while, his hands slowly smooth down your stomach until he's pressing on your panties.

you gasp, turning to look at him, but he's already staring at you, big hand pressing against your mouth. "shhh... just let me." you can't comprehend what's going on. he's way too strong for you to fight back properly. "you make me so hard, baby," sungchan groans, pushing his hips to rut against you. "so sexy.. my little sister is so sexy,"

the tears in your eyes have already started flowing down onto his hand. you're confused and conflicted with what happened to make sungchan have such a direct change. you hate that your pussy clenches when he works his fingers inside your panties, fingers dragging against your folds. he circles your clit, and you feel heat rush through you for the first time. your body is trembling and tears are nonstop. "baby— baby, you have to calm down—" sungchan's voice is deep and dripping with concern, but you don't know how to calm your body.

"you know I won't hurt you," he whispers, "your big brother loves you." but you can't listen. your hips are bucking up into his hand, and you feel icky. his hand falls from your mouth, and everything breaks loose. "this– this is wr–wrong, channie," you sob. "we're not supposed to do this."

Instead of answering, sungchan kisses you, tongue running messily over your lips, and when he intrudes your mouth, it all feels so foreign. you don't know how to react, just letting him abuse your mouth until your lips are bitten red and swollen. the kiss slows your thinking down, your legs clenched around sungchan's hand tight, and your eyes rolling back. when he pulls away, spit trails, and his fingers start circling your clit again. "see baby," he huffed out, forcing your legs to spread, "not that bad, huh?" you sniffle and pout, pushing back against him subconsciously.

"channie—" "call me daddy." it was phrased so softly that if it wasn't so lewd, it could be ignored. and it should terrify you. It should be grossing you out to be this close to someone you grew up with, especially someone you thought was your real brother, but your tongue hangs out like a puppy for him anyway. like you're giving yourself away. his mouth drops open ever so slightly as his eyes follow the motion of your tongue, and then he lets out a low hum. "say it."

"sungchan..." you pause when he gives you a look, finger prodding your hole. you start wiggling again. "not there daddy... please... know we can't!" your lip tuts out, fingers digging into his arm in an attempt to distance you two. "don't worry, baby daddy's gonna make you feel good, don't you love me?" his question comes out as more of a statement like he doesn't doubt that you do love him. "I love you, daddy! I–I do, but–" sungchan scoffs at you, pulling your panties down to your knees, and the stickiness makes you shy. you gasp, covering your mouth with both hands, when something odd presses against your pussy.

"never done this before?" you shake your head no, hips seemingly rocking on their own. "never felt this before... don't—don't think we're supposed to do this, daddy..." when the words leave your mouth for a third time sungchan comes to a halt. "I love you. you're my little sister, and I'm supposed to show you these things." his breath against your skin makes you shudder, goosebumps popping out all over your skin. he kisses down your neck, sloppy and slowly till hes pressing kisses on your shoulder. "I won't put it in."

you don't understand what he means until he's dragging his cock between your slit, collecting your slick to use as a lubricant, and instead of going inside, he's spreading it. your vision nearly blanks feeling him on your pussy. he's so hard and heavy, and your cunny is aching the slower he pushes his hips forward and slides his cock on you. "fuck... baby, you feel so good for me." he works to circle his tip on your clit, feeling you writhe under him.

"nnng daddy daddy daddy!" you whimper. this is so embarrassing. your pussy is clenching and pushing out more wetness, and you feel like you'd rather die than let sungchan know how sensitive you are. your nipples are hard poking your shirt, and when he uses his hand to push his fat tip so deep inside your lips you can't help but curl and wiggle. "please—" "yeah? big brother making you feel good?" you swallow and try to talk, but he instead slides between your folds deeper and the words get trapped in your throat. you can’t handle having him like this. It was too hard to even look at him. "feel—feel you—" he nodded, his cold hand planting itself on your cheek, fingers dipping to wrap around your throat. "I know, baby. can feel me in you." the air was thick between you two, getting even more tense when you tried to push his hand away in panic. "n–no! no no daddy–" your mind is bleary, voice breaking.

theres this strange shift in his demeanor when he looks into your eyes. not unexpected, just more— intense. when you blink back tears and sniffle, it's almost like his face hardens. eyes flickering over your expression, lingering on your swollen lips again before it drops down between your legs. It's like he’s got more to say or something left to do. you whimper the longer he continues to put pressure on your throat and pull on his wrist a little. "d—daddy— gonna—gonna cum...!"

"I'm so sorry, baby. I need to feel you," he said, closing the gap between you and lining up at your entrance. he finally sank his tip into your needy little hole, his lips barely grazing yours. you feel weird again. not being able to stop your eyes from fluttering shut when he stretches you out. your mouth is open and wide from the painful sensation filling you as he starts slowly thrusting, sliding deeper with each thrust until he bottoms out. "no! no sungchan—” you try to warn, but he tightens his grip to silence you, and your body starts to feel like it's breaking down.

the pace he sets is menacing, enough to have you whining and arching your back into him. the tip of his cock is nudging your cervix with every deep thrust. you can't hear him cooing anymore, just the sounds coming from your bodies meeting. “oh no... did I lose you, baby?" he whispers in your ear, letting go of your throat so you can breathe. your heart is fast hammering against your chest as he fucks you into your very first orgasm. "close for me, baby?" you nodded, tears spilling again. "hurts—feel—feel big brother in—in my tummy..."

sungchan's hands slid down your stomach, firm hand pushing your abdomen as he bruised your pussy. "mhm?" your brother smiled, "feel me here" your words are incoherent when you start twitching against him. "come on. cum for me, baby. cum for your big brother." you shook your head, clouded and lost in thought as you pushed your hips to meet his sharp thrusts. "gonna fill this pussy up," that’s all you need to make your walls clench even tighter, pulsating with the euphoric shocks of your orgasm. Your moans are high-pitched, and you repeatedly hear weak mumbles of his name.

“there you go, get me all messy, baby.” he praises, leaning forward to press a long kiss to your forehead. "my favorite little sister.”

© KISSPURINS 2024 ✿

[dinogoofymutated]

Hi there! I'm currently watching the original X men series to catch up to 97, and I'm in love with Gambit.

Would it be possible to ask for Remy and reader to be on a secret mission, and the Ole "make out so they don't suspect us" trope comes in, and gambit kinda (obviously) has feelings...?

It could be sfw or nsfw, either is perfect! Thank you for all that you do, I've been trying to find fics for the xmen for a while 🙏🙏

Kinda spicy! Gambit/GN!reader

YESS!! YESSSS!!! I legit had a dream about this situation with remy the day before you sent me this ask and I was cackling in joy when I saw this! I basically hyperfixated on it because I love this trope.

TWS: sexual themes n shit, no explicit smut. As always, reader written while picturing fem! but no specific pronouns mentioned. Semi-public making out and touching. Nipples be touched but size and type of breast not mentioned.

-Ps- reader can see heat signatures for plot purposes. I usually try to keep powers ambiguous but it was a NEED!

"In here, quick!" Remy's thick draw catches your attention, just before he yanks you into an alley. The two of you were in New Orleans, looking for a specific mutant Xavier wanted to talk to. The only downside was that Remy still had a warrant out for his arrest, and wanted posters plastered all over the city from bourbon Street to the garden district.

"Don't worry Cher. You said. NOPD 'dumber than a sack of rocks, you said!" You gripe at him. Remy laughs, tugging you around the corner. The alleyways on Burbon street are mostly private areas, owned and sealed off by the bars that line the storefronts- but Remy knew this city like the back of his hand. However, things had changed since he was here last. That became apperent when the two of you reach the end of the alleyway and there's a brand new brick wall, a dead end.

Remy curses and skids to a stop, causing you to slam into his back. You send him a dirty look as you whip around, eyes adjusting to the brick surroundings. It's hard to make out the figures of the cops through the walls of the busy bar in in front of you, too many people crowding the street for drinks even this late at night. You strain your eyes a bit, but are able to make out the stiff-shouldered men, heat signature slightly elevated from booking it after the two of you. Unfortunately, they're headed towards the mouth of the alleyway.

"Damnit." You mutter, turning back to Remy. He understands what you mean just by looking at your face. He hums, thinking for a moment before he begins to take out a playing card. You grab his arm to stop him, trying to ignore how warm his skin is against your own.

"Don't. The explosion will just lead them to us." You say. Remy nodds, glancing at the corner before suddenly caging you against the wall of the alleyway. You try not to blush as he does so. Remy smirks at you, and you think your heart might just explode. You remind yourself that this is standard Remy behavior, but it doesn't stop your face from heating up. You can only hope it's too dark for him to see you properly.

"Well, there is another way we could fool those pigs." Remy says, quieter than before. You cock an eyebrow at him before looking back over in the direction of the alleyways opening, able to spot the cops as they begin to enter. In your peripheral, you see Remy running his fingers through his hair to flatten it. You open your mouth to ask him what he has in mind, but the sound of footsteps cut you off.

"-Well, if you're going to do something, you better do it quick!" You whisper back at him. Remy pushes you further against the cold brick, his hands drifting down to your waist as he leans over to wisper in your ear.

"Trust me, Cher. I'll take care of you." His words cause goosebumps to rise at the back of your neck, and you hardly have time to react before he's kissing you. Your eyes are blown wide, heart thumping wildly as you start to slowly relax into the kiss.

Unsurprisingly, Remy is a really, really good kisser. It's hard to focus while he's touching you like this, kissing you deeply like he loves you. He nips at your lip, and you gasp, having forgotten about everything else already. His tongue darts into you mouth, caressing the skin he finds there. You let out a small moan as one of his hands drifts lower, caressing your thigh and hiking your leg up just a bit. Your own hands slowly slide up his chest, drifting to his neck.

The heat in your chest is unbearable when Gambit separates from the kiss, a string of spit connecting your mouths before he wipes it away, nothing but affection on his eyes. You're panting for breath while he kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, and then lower. Remy places wet kisses on your neck, sucking and biting as he tries to swallow you whole. You thread your hands through his soft hair as his does so, fully encouraging him to ravage you in whatever way he would like. One of his hands begins to slide under your shirt when a cough startles you out of your heated state.

Your first instinct is to turn towards the noise, but Gambit is quick to cup your cheek and pull you into another heated kiss before your head could move a centimeter. He keeps you occupied as his other hand fully caresses the skin beneath your shirt, squeezing and caressing your chest. You hear another exhausted sigh from the cops. You crack and eye open slightly, knowing they cant see you do so in the dark. One of them begins to raise his voice, but the other smacks him on the shoulder.

"Just another pair of drunks. We've got bigger things to worry about right now." The cop says. You could practically hear the other roll his eyes before they turn to and walk away. Gambit brings your attention back to him and only him when you feel a finger brush lightly against your nipple. You gasp, and Remy chuckles, playfully biting your lip as he pulls away. He's smirking as he looks at you, and you can only imagine what you look like right now.

"Looks like you enjoyed that." He teases, voice low and husky. You can't seem to pull your thought together properly when he's looking at you like that. You nervously look away, hands playing with his collar.

"And if I did?" You ask, glancing back at him to gage his reaction. He looks surprised at first, face morphing into a lovestruck smile before he tries to cover it up with a smirk. Didn't stop you from being able to see the heat rise to his cheeks, however.

"Then gambit thinks we should do this more often."

[httpuckdrop]

boyfriend? – ws2

will gets possessive (jealous) when seeing you with other guys.

pairing: will smith x friend!reader

genre: fluff, college!au

word count: 760

warnings: mentions of alcohol

author's note: been in SUCH a will mood recently, it's not even funny. he's just so !!!! it's not my fault actually :( anyways have this little blurb, hope u enjoy <3

will hates this.

he doesn't hate parties per se, just this specific one. he does think the party is good; the music is great, a lot of his friends are here, not too calm yet not too crazy. but he hates it mainly because no matter what he does, what room of the apartment he moves into or what classmate he chats to, he always ends up catching you in the corner of his eye.

looking at you is definitely not something will dislikes – on the contrary, he could spend the rest of his life staring at you without feeling bored for even a second. that's how beautiful you are to him.

but seeing you get flirted with and seeing people exploit the fact that you've had more than your share of the drinks table? he hates that.

he tries to handle it by moving along, finding new groups to join and new subjects to talk about to get his mind off you. cool, the school's football team won yesterday; oh yeah, that physics professor seems insane; did you watch that new movie?

it works for a while, but he eventually finds his eyes wandering off to you in every room. you're just that radiant, attracting his attention without even trying. that fact is something he's okay with, and he supposed he'll just have to get used to seeing you with other guys every once in a while, even if it's terribly painful.

but when that stupid football jock you've been talking to for the last fifteen minutes places his hand on your ass as he leans in to whisper in your ear – has he no shame? will asks himself – will has had enough.

in just a few quick strides, he has made it over to you, and his left arm drapes across your shoulders instantly. "there you are, baby," he says, leaning down to press a fleeting kiss to your temple. "been looking all over for you."

the guy takes a step back instinctively, his eyes narrowing at the sight. it takes a moment for you to realize what's happening, but when your head turns toward will, your entire face lights up. "william!" you exclaim, arms wrapping around his torso and pulling him in for a hug. he flinches at the full name – you're even drunker than he thought – but he relaxes once you're in his arms instead of that guy's.

"who are you?"

will looks back to the man you were talking to earlier. "oh, shit- i'm sorry, rude of me not to introduce myself." he holds out his right hand, his other one falling down your waist. "i'm will. nice to meet you, man."

the other guy reluctantly shakes will's hand, frowning slightly. "you two a thing or something?"

will leans the side of his head against the top of yours. "girlfriend and boyfriend for almost two years now."

your eyes widen at this, jaw dropping with a gasp. "boyfriend?" you ask. "you're my boyfriend?"

he chuckles, hoping he doesn't sound as nervous as he feels, but nods. "i think you-" he accentuates the word with a tap to your nose. "-have had a little too much to drink if you don't remember me."

the other guy leaves the scene looking a little nauseous, and will can finally relax a little. you, however, seem to not notice anything going on around you, still focused on his touch on your nose several moments later. "too much? no, i'm not even tipsy..."

"sure you aren't." will's hand reaches for yours, tugging on it as he starts walking out of the room. "come on, let's go back to the dorm."

"what dorm?" you ask, yet you reluctantly walk after him.

"your dorm."

once you reach the front door, he rummages through the millions of coats hanging on the wall before finding yours. he hangs it over your shoulders, trying his best to ignore the pout on your lips. "i wasn't done in there." you tilt your head to the side. "why are you forcing me out?"

"i'm taking care of you," he corrects.

"same thing." he lets go of your hand and your eyes follow his movements when he puts on his own jacket, already missing his warmth on your skin. "why?"

he shrugs. "boyfriend duties, i guess."

you step out into the cold together, and the fresh air helps you begin to come to your senses. yet, you find yourself mumbling, "if you're actually my boyfriend, you should kiss me. on the lips."

oh, how badly he wishes he could.

"another time, baby."

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

✨Dress Up, Part 3: The Honeymoon✨

Who's ready for the honeymoon?? I've been dying to get this one out for y'all. Thank you all again for the incredible support on this fic, I absolutely love you all! Enjoy!!

I tried to make it as clear as possible who is speaking at any given time lol

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4, Part 5

Lucifer x f!sinner reader

Summary: The wedding is over and it's time for the honeymoon! And you have an interesting proposition for your new husband...

Warnings: 18+, smut, fingering, oral (m & f receiving), p in v, anal, multiple partners

As promised, Lucifer behaved himself for the rest of the reception. He was always very good at keeping his promises with you. Although, you had piqued his curiosity when you had mentioned the little "proposition" you had for him later in the evening. He was insatiable. And you loved it!

"C'mon love, at least give me a hint!" Lucifer begged while you were in between conversations with the hotel patrons. "Do you think it's fair to keep secrets from your husband?" He latched onto your waist and pressed a kiss to your cheek, a little laugh escaping your lips. "I'll just keep kissing you until you tell me!" Sure enough, he began to pepper small pecks across your face, finally forcing you to push him away gently.

"All good things to those who wait, Lucifer," you teased, taking his one hand and leading him towards the bar. "We just have to say goodbye to a few more people, okay? And you're one to talk! You still haven't told me where we're going for our honeymoon!"

He chuckled, bringing your hand up to his lips. "I'm the Devil, sweetheart; deception is in my job description, or so I've been told." You rolled your eyes playfully and made your way towards your new daughter-in-law.

"Charlie!" you greeted, bringing her into a warm embrace. "Thank you for this. You did an incredible job. This was everything I could have hoped for and more."

"Oh, there's no need to thank me!" Charlie beamed. "Everyone here worked super hard to make sure everything turned out perfect!"

"You're too modest, Charlie dear," Lucifer complimented. "Anything you touch turns out absolutely perfect. And I shouldn't expect anything less from my little girl!"

"Thanks, dad. I-I love you two so much!" Charlie's eyes started to well up with tears as she brought you both in for a hug. "Oh, dad! Did you tell her about the surprise?!"

Lucifer shook his head. "I haven't, but we're just about to head out right about...now!" With a snap of his fingers, a portal appeared behind the trio. You went to turn your head, but Lucifer used his hand to turn your face back towards him. "No peaking!" Without warning, you felt your legs give out beneath you as Lucifer scooped you up into his arms, cradling you against his chest and smiling down at you. “Thank you all for a wonderful day,” he called out to everyone. “It’s certainly one we’ll never forget. We’ll be back in a few days' time. PLEASE don’t burn the hotel down while we’re gone!” He turned around to face the portal and leaned down towards you. “Close your eyes for me,” he whispered against your ear. You did as he said and let your eyelids fall.

You felt the subtle jostling of Lucifer’s movement as he carried you through the portal. He only took a few more steps before he stopped completely. Wherever you were, you felt a slight breeze hit your skin. You guessed you must be outside somewhere. But Lucifer’s footsteps sounded like they were hitting tile flooring. Before you could try to rationalize further, you felt your husband’s lips graze your earlobe.

“You can open your eyes now,” he cooed.

Your eyes shot open; Lucifer’s grinning face was the first thing you saw as he finally set you back down on your feet. You were right about being outside. Kind of. You were on a balcony. The footsteps you heard earlier made sense now. But you saw something else that had completely caught your attention. The sky above you wasn't red. It was a deep blue. You turned to Lucifer in confusion. "Where are we?"

"Surprise!" he nearly shouted, gripping your hips and twirling you around before placing you back down. "Welcome to the Lust ring, my darling!"

You blinked at him a few times before looking back over the railing, smiling eagerly. "So, this is what you've been hiding from me?"

"It is," Lucifer said as he pulled you flush to his chest. "Do you remember how I said that you're no longer bound to the rules that govern sinners? This is part of that deal! You're free to travel anywhere as my Queen, and that includes the other six rings of Hell! Not that I would recommend most of them. But Asmodeus-"

"Wait, Asmodeus?" you questioned, "The Sin of Lust?"

"Yes! Although I usually just refer to him as Ozzie. He's one of the only Sins I get along with. But anyway, he's the one who put us up in this lovely room for the next few days. I told him I was getting married and well, he practically insisted on letting us use his Honeymoon Suite at the hotel he owns here. Told me I needed to 'put the room to good use'." Lucifer flashed a smug grin before leaning in to capture your lips. He picked you up once more and carried you over to the too- large heart-shaped bed, setting you down on the soft dark purple bed sheets. "So, my angel has a 'proposition' for me?"

Suddenly your cheeks felt burning hot. To be honest, you haven't given your own proposition much thought before this. But that week without any intimacy nearly drove you up the wall and your mind created scenarios that you had never even considered before. You regret mentioning it in the first place, but it was too late to turn back now. "W-Well, yes, I do...I mean, I did. I umm...it's..."

Lucifer laughed and sat himself down next to you, his hip connecting with yours. "Now what could possibly have you so tongue tied?" Lucifer teased as you looked away from him. "I've never seen you like this before. You don't have to be embarrassed, love! Whatever it is, I'm sure I can handle it! I don't think there's anything you can suggest that would scare me away." He brought his hand under your chin and turned your head towards his wanting expression. "Please tell me!"

You sighed shakily. "And you won't freak out?"

"Now when have I ever freaked out?" You cocked an eyebrow at him. "Ok, fair point. I promise you that I won't freak out."

You inhaled a few short breaths before speaking. "Youcanduplicateyourselfright?" you blurted out without thinking, making Lucifer pause.

"Duplicate myself?" he repeated, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uhh, yeah I can. But what does that have to do with...o-oh...OH! UMM...S-SHIT! WOW I uhh...wasn't expecting that..."

"Hey, you said you wouldn't freak out!"

Lucifer shook his head rapidly. "Freaking out?? Who's freaking out?! Not me! Certainly not me! I'm cool, I'm alright, I'm fine! It's just uhh...I..." He laughed nervously, failing to reign in his sudden panicked reaction. But for some reason, it seemed as though he couldn't stop smiling.

You reached down to cup his hands in yours. "Luci, listen, if that's not something you're wanting to try, that's totally alright! I'd never ask you to do something that would make you uncomfortable! That's why we talk about everything beforehand! Please don't worry about it." You smiled and cupped his face in your hands to press a light kiss on his lips.

"Now sweetheart, I never said "no", now did I?" you heard a familiar soothing voice echo behind you.

You turned your head slowly, only to see an identical Lucifer sitting next to you on the opposite side. You gulped and smiled warily. The other Lucifer grabbed your hand and kissed it delicately.

"You...you want this?" you turned to your Lucifer as the other continually kissed up your arm.

Lucifer beamed at you, taking your other hand. "More than you know! If I'm given the chance to provide you with as much pleasure as I possibly can, I will never turn down that opportunity! Besides, I do owe you from the reception, and I intend to pay it back tenfold."

You didn't think your face could get any more beet red. Your lips met with your Lucifer once more, his tongue gliding across your bottom lip, begging for entrance, to which you happily obliged. The other Lucifer found his way to your neck, now sucking and nipping at your sensitive skin. You had barely begun, and your adrenaline had skyrocketed. You had to pull yourself away before you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.

"I...I'd like to clean up first, if that's alright," you chuckled. Your Lucifer grinned, with both of them standing up and offering you their hands.

"Shall we?" they spoke in unison.

Your face flushed as you took each of their hands, pulling yourself up from the bed. They led you to the illustrious bathroom that was connected to your bedroom. It was way too grand for just a couple. Well, at least you three would take up just a little more space. You stripped out of your reception dress quickly, your lovers following suit. The shower itself could have easily fit everyone on in the hotel inside, but the three of you planned to use the space to your advantage. Once the shower was heated to your liking, you stepped in tentatively, letting the hot water relax your body. You didn't realize how stiff you had been. Perhaps the cause were the two men that just stepped in the shower to join you. One stepped around behind you, the other in front. Perfectly sandwiched between two God-like figured. Her heart threatened to beat out of your chest as you felt two hands gently massage your shoulders while two more thumbed circles around your hips.

"It's alright, darling," your Lucifer spoke calmy from behind. "We'll go at the pace you're most comfortable with, yeah? If you need to stop at any point, say the word and we'll be done." You nodded your head, giving them the 'okay' to continue.

"Let's get you all nice and clean now, love," the other Lucifer cooed. He passed the bottle of shampoo to your Lucifer while he lathered his hands with soap. You felt a pair of hands massaging your scalp ever so gently as they thoroughly scrubbed your soft hair, detangling any knots that may have formed. Two more hands roamed your skin, gliding across every inch of it. Starting at your neck, moving across to your shoulders, down to your breasts. Your breath hitched and you giggled, noticing how long his hands lingered in the specific area. His hands finally moved down lower, to your stomach and your hips, only to reach around and give a few light squeezes to your ass. You knew he was going to be touchy, especially considering it's been an entire week since he's been able to feel you like this. And you weren't going to deny him.

You rinsed your hair, watching the other Lucifer lower himself onto his knees to wash your legs, starting at your calves and working his way up to your thighs. After a few seconds, you noticed his hands have not left your thighs; he continued to run his hands along them delicately but desperately, almost begging for something more. You looked down at him only to be met with pleading eyes. It suddenly clicked with you. Wordlessly, you spread your legs apart slightly, allowing him access to the one area of you that you knew he wanted. That he needed. You let out a few shaky breaths before you at last felt his digits glide along your folds. You didn't know how much you missed the feeling of his fingers until he began his ministrations, easily finding your sensitive nub in the process. You mewled as your Lucifer turned your head to capture your sounds on his lips. You felt the other Lucifer's fingers enter you slowly, causing you to moan into your Lucifer's mouth. He swallowed it happily. You felt him languidly thrust his fingers in and out of you, your walls clenching around them.

"Now this is heaven," your Lucifer whispered against your collarbone. "I can finally tell you how wonderful you taste on my tongue." Without warning, the Lucifer beneath you gripped your thighs and plugged his face into your aching pussy, your knees nearly buckling under its own weight. Luckily, Lucifer caught you and held you close to his chest as the hot water continued to loosen every muscle in your body.

"I gotcha," your husband murmured before nipping at your neck, leaving bruises and bite marks in his wake. It was too much and not enough at the same time. Both of their tongues worked on your trembling body, your mind couldn't decide which area to focus on. You felt Lucifer's tongue push past your folds, his forked tongue hitting the most sensitive area inside of you. All that managed to leave your throat were whimpers of pure, overwhelming pleasure.

"L-Luci...I-I...," you tried to speak, becoming more and more difficult with each passing second. "B-Bed..."

You felt both Lucifers smile against you, each of them pulling away to stand up straight. The water was turned off and they led you out of the shower. They took some towels, drying you off as best they could before your Luci scooped you up and carried you back over to the bed, laying you down gently.

"What do you desire, my queen?"

You grabbed your Lucifer's hand, directing him to sit behind you. You looked at the other and patted the sheets in between your thighs. "I'm sorry that I interrupted your meal, please continue." Eagerly, the one Lucifer jumped onto the bed and dove between your thighs once more, continuing his tender licks up your dripping slit without giving you a second to brace yourself. You cried out while your Lucifer sat you in his lap.

"Such beautiful sounds, my darling," your Lucifer praised. "I've never been able to hear them so clearly when I've done this before. I've been dying to taste you again; it's been so long." You tried your best to focus on what he was saying, but the pleasure between your legs had taken up every bit of your attention. You missed this more than you were willing to admit; to have your lover devouring you like it was his last meal. You felt his hands snake underneath your arms, beginning to squeeze and knead your breasts. You were seeing stars, your vision blurred as you could feel legs begin to tremble uncontrollably. The other Lucifer had to wrap his arms under your thighs to make sure you couldn't pull away from his devilish tongue that was now circling your clit relentlessly. You were on the verge of breaking. "I can tell you're close, sweetheart. It's okay, let go for me. Let me taste all of you." You felt two fingers enter you at that moment, forcing you to thrust your hips up in unbridled ecstasy. Once his fingers curled inside you, the coil in your stomach snapped.

"A-AAHH...HHNG...LUCIFER!" you cried out as your orgasm overwhelmed you, your walls pulsating around his fingers that had refused to slow down as you came. You rode out your orgasm, feeling Lucifer lap up every last drop of you before you had finally come down from your high. Your breaths were heavy, but your Lucifer captured your lips once more, inhaling every last one. Oddly enough, you could taste a faint hint of yourself on his lips, even though he wasn't the one between your legs.

"Tell me love, how much did you miss my tongue?" the Lucifer below you asked coyly as his thumbs ran soft circles around your inner thighs.

You rolled your eyes and smiled. "Enough to know that I'll never ask you to wait for me again."

He beamed at you, picking himself up from between your legs and leaning for a tender kiss, the other leaving more hickies along your neck. This was everything you could have imagined and more. But you weren't done yet. You needed more. You had felt Lucifer's hardened cock against your back the entire time you were sitting in his lap. It was time to give him his fill of you. And you were more than willing to let him claim every part of you.

"Luci?"

"Yes?" they answered.

"I want you to take me. All of me. Please..."

"D-Do you mean..." your Lucifer swallowed hard, the other completely red in the face.

"I do," you nodded shyly. "Is...Is that alright?"

With a snap of Lucifer's fingers, a third one appeared and stood next to the three of you at the edge of the bed.

"Anything for you, my angel," the third spoke softly, a nervous smile crept across his face.

Oh, you were so fucked! In both senses of the word. Your hands shot up to your face in a failing attempt to hide your embarrassment. You felt a pair of hands pull them away, now staring back at two pairs of lust-filled eyes.

"Are you absolutely sure, love?" Lucifer's voice echoed behind you. You could almost hear the shakiness in it. "Please don't feel as though you need to do this for me."

You managed to shift yourself so that you were now kneeling in front of your Lucifer, his head resting in the palms of your hands. "Yes, I want this. This isn't for you or for me, this is for both of us. I'm yours, my king." You brought your lips to his, entangling your tongues together in a fiery kiss. When you pulled away, Lucifer seemed to be caught in a trance, completely drunk on you.

"Let's get you ready," he grinned. With a swirl of his hand, a bottle of lube had appeared, tossing it to the Lucifer standing beside you. You noticed the writing on the label before he threw it away.

"Apple flavored?" you questioned.

"Let me ask you, did you taste yourself on me when you kissed me a minute ago?" Lucifer smirked a bit when he asked. Your face flushed a bit, but you nodded. "I thought as much. It was faint, but it was there, right? I didn't think you wanted the taste of normal lube when you uhh...umm, yeah...haha...It's hard to explain, but the short and simple of it is that all of our senses are connected. If one of us is touched, the others will feel the sensation of being touched as well. And I promise that the faintest hint of apples will be the only thing you can taste. A little fun fact about duplication for ya!"

You grinned as you and your Lucifer got up from the bed while the second assumed his position, lying flat on his back, his leaking cock resting on his abdomen. You wanted nothing more than to ride him senseless right now as you made your way back on all fours and hovered yourself over him, but you knew you would get to soon enough. You smiled down at him beneath you, he grinned and winked in response. The other two joined you in bed, with one kneeling behind you, the other in front. Your Lucifer's cock hung just inches from your face, almost begging for any kind of attention. You went to grab it, but his hand stopped yours. "Ah, ah, patience," he scolded lovingly, "I can wait. Let me concentrate on you, yeah?" As if on cue, you felt a cold finger teasing the entrance of your ass. In inhaled sharply, gripping the sheets below you from the sensation. You and Lucifer didn't use it often, but you always enjoyed it whenever you tried it.

"Ready?" you heard him ask behind you.

"Yes."

Slowly, he inserted his lubed finger into you, letting your muscles relax around him. After a few pumps, a second finger was inserted, thrusting in and stretching you out as much as he possibly could. He applied a generous about of lube as he spread his fingers apart inside you, opening you up and making sure you would be able to handle more in just a little bit. The less pain you felt, the better. When he felt as though you were thoroughly prepped, his digits retreated from your ass. He rubbed some more lube down the length of his shaft before positioning himself to enter you. At the same time, you felt the Lucifer below you shift, lining his cock up with your wet cunt. You inhaled deeply a few times, albeit a bit shakily.

"If you need to stop at any time, please don't hesitate to use our safe word," your Lucifer instructed. "Do you remember what it is?"

"Radio." you responded. Neither of you had to use it before, but this seemed like a scenario where it may need to come into play. The word still made you chuckle to yourself regardless.

"That's my girl," he cooed. "Tap my leg and I'll pull out if you need to use it. Slow and steady now..."

You felt your ass stretch first as he entered you lethargically, letting you stretch around his length. You felt the burning sensation for a moment or two, but it soon receded after he remained fully inside for little bit. Your pussy was next, sinking down as far as you could before Lucifer's hips bucked up to meet yours. With two cocks now fully sheathed inside of you, you gave them the 'okay' to start moving. The room was filled with nothing but moans when their hips started rutting into you, feeling absolutely and completely full. You looked up at your Lucifer with desperate eyes.

"Y-Your turn, Luci," you babbled, opening your mouth wide, your tongue falling to the wayside and drool beginning to drip down your chin.

"F-Fuck..." was all he managed to choke out before to tip of his cock was already past your lips. He did his best to match the pace with his other selves, not wanting to go too deep. And he was right; the faintest scent of apples filled your senses as his cock was pushed in and out of your hot throat.

This moment was pure bliss.

Your mouth, your ass, and your cunt all being filled and fucked senseless, somehow in the most tender and loving way imaginable. Lucifer had never been rough with you and he wasn't about to start now. All three cocks were hitting every single pleasure point in your body, it was almost overwhelming. But you didn't dare stop.

You felt a pair of Lucifer's claws dig into your ass as he fucked you from behind, another pair shooting up to grip your hips as he thrusted up into your aching cunt. The last pair of hand you felt playing with your hair as you used your tongue and mouth to drive him mad. But you felt something else not long after. Something had wrapped around your leg. His tail. You weren't sure which it belonged to but you were too fucked out of your mind at this point to care. You felt something else, something that could have made you scream were your mouth not full. Another one of his tails, but this one had gone straight for your clit, its movements increasing with every thrust. Your eyes crossed as your second orgasm hit you like a freight train, giving you no time to prepare. You moaned loudly around Lucifer’s cock as your pussy clenched around his other, your juices leaking out and trailing down your thighs.

“GAA-AHHH, O-OH FFFFUCK,” all of them gasped together. All of them had felt you cum on his cock. He was done for.

“M-My love…”

“Ssshhhhiiittt…I-I’m…”

“I-I can’t…can’t s-stop…”

“FUCK, C-CUMMING…I’M CUMMMING!”

All their movement had stopped as they came at the same time. You felt his hot seed spill out inside of every hole he filled. It took everything you had left in you to not collapse right then and there. Your Lucifer was the first to pull out, finally letting you properly catch your breath. You swallowed his cum without a second thought, licking your lips as you stared up at him innocently. He turned away from you quickly, his face feeling like it had caught fire. You felt two pairs of hands grab your waist, hoisting you up and off of them, and gently laying you down on your back. With a final snap of his fingers, the two Lucifers smiled at you one last time before disappearing, leaving you with just one. Lucifer, now completely spent, plopped down on the bed right next to you. You shuffled closer to him, snuggling against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and peppered kisses all along your face. You couldn’t help but giggle.

“Are you okay, my queen?” he asked breathlessly. “I didn’t hurt you at all, did I? Was it too much? Were you-MMPH” you cut him off with a searing kiss to his lips. He melted into you, your lips languidly moving against each other. You pulled away, tears welling up in your eyes. Lucifer’s face fell instantly. “Oh, God, I hurt you, didn’t I?! Fuck, I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean to-”

“No, Lucifer!” you laughed, cutting his panic short. “I’m not hurt, you didn’t hurt me! I-I’m just…so happy…” you threw your arms around him and began to squeeze his body as hard as you could manage. “Thank you…”

His arms tightened around you as well, bringing you as close to him as physically possible. “No, my love, I should be thanking you. Not just for this. But for everything else.” He sat you both up, now leaning yourselves against the headboard. He left one arm draped over your shoulder as the other reached for your hand. “You’ve given me everything I could ever want, and more than I ever deserve. You’ve given me patience, understanding, kindness, stability, joy. I could go on forever about what you’ve done for me. But out of all of those, the one thing that you’ve given me that I know I could never go without, is your love. You’re mine, and I’m yours, until the end of time. I love you.”

You couldn’t stop your tears from falling. You smiled at him sweetly, wiping away the tears from your cheeks. “I love you too, Lucifer. But you’re wrong, you know.” The angel cocked an eyebrow at you. “You deserve everything and more. Never doubt that.” You pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “You’ll always have me. Always.”

Tears fell from his eyes now, pecking your face with more kisses again. Suddenly, he scooped you up in his arms and hopped off the bed in an instant.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we, my beautiful wife?” he whispered to you as you made your way to the bathroom once more. “Hope you like bubble baths!”

“Of course I do, my darling husband.” He smiled and leaned down to press another kiss to your parted lips.

~~~

GOD, PLEASE, I CAN EXPLAIN 😫🙏🏻

Anywho, hope you liked part 3! Part 4 will be a sort of epilogue so stay tuned! Thank you everyone for your support 💖

@ask-theradio-demon @kermitdafroggy @thonethatflies620 @luc1fersducky @a-okay-rj @bat-boness @myhornybrainonlyknowsthis @misfitgirlwrites @animationmovieshipps @orbitinglumps @ramenkitten @blaackbiird @bigfatbimbo @lucisaspen @bvnnyangel @seulace9 @fluffypinkpillows @starlightdreaming @k-n0-x @rosen-und-mondlicht @raindropsfromheaven @slutforlucifermorningstar @lola576 @ag-cookiebat800 @victoriousvic @rand0m-1diot @lonelynmisunderstood @cosmic-lavender @yourmom132 @liveontelevision @luci-lover-forever

[milliesfishes]

꣑ৎ౨ৎthrowing a halloween party as coriolanus' first lady (part one)꣑ৎ౨ৎ fem reader x coriolanus snow

You unzipped part of your dress, brow furrowing as your mind wandered far away from the closet. Stepping out of your heels, you rocked back and forth on your feet for a moment. Parallel to you, Coriolanus was stripping off his suit piece by piece, neatly hanging his shirt on a hanger and now removing his pants.

In a haze, you tried to reach the rest of your zipper, but everything in your head stilled your fingers, every motion limp and halfhearted.

Coriolanus came up behind you, undoing the rest of your zipper. You thanked him absentmindedly, and he kissed your shoulder. "Everything alright?"

"Uh huh." You stepped out of the dress; clad only in the lace lingerie you'd donned long before you'd known what would become of this evening. Hearing his hum of approval, you leaned back as his arms wound around you, back touching his bare chest. He pressed his lips to your hair, using hands on your waist to spin you around.

Catching your mouth in a kiss, Coriolanus lifted you into his arms, bracing you under your legs to carry you to the bed. You distractedly returned his attentions, moving your lips methodically against his.

Once he had you in his lap, lips finding your neck, you tangled a hand in his hair and let it stay there, staring at the bedframe in front of you. After a moment of blank stillness, you realized he wasn't kissing you anymore and looked down. "Hmm?"

He quirked his eyebrows, fingers soothingly stroking up and down your back. "Back to earth?"

You sighed, leaning your head down on his shoulder and groaning. "I'm sorry. Just thinking."

"What's wrong?" Coriolanus slid his hands to your waist and rubbed softly, trying to dissolve any tensions left over. You relaxed into his touch, thoughts flowing from you like warm water.

Sitting back on his lap, you said, "I heard some of the women at the party talking."

"Uh huh." He seemed wary and you knew he was thinking of times in the past where they hadn't necessarily been the kindest to you. Your adjustment to life as the First Lady had been rocky given your shy demeanor. Often at parties you clung to your husband's side without really meaning to, the prospect of meeting new people daunting. And of course he hadn't minded, but the comments of others made you shrink back.

Sighing, you continued, eyes on your fingers trailing back and forth across his collarbone. "They were talking about how we haven't hosted any parties or events."

Coriolanus frowned, kissing your nose. "And why is that a problem? It's none of their business." You shifted on his lap, leaning forward and pressing your cheek to his shoulder. He breathed in once, leaning to the side to kiss your hair. "Darling, if you're not ready to do something like that then we don't have to. It isn't a big deal."

He was being sweet. You played with a strand of your hair, shoulders relaxing as you watched him watch you. Upon his election, Coriolanus had made it very clear to you that he wouldn't force you to do anything you didn't want to regarding traditions of office. He was very aware of your anxieties and hesitations, almost scarily so. Your husband knew every tic of yours better than you did.

You were grateful for his patience. But you also wanted to uphold your image as his wife, to support him in any way you could. It felt silly for him to baby you out of something as simple as throwing a party. It was the least you could do- plan something exciting that would leave everyone talking.

Sitting up straight, you wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him a soft peck. "I want to throw a party. I can do it."

He raised his eyebrows, giving a nod. "I know you can. But are you sure you want to, sweetheart?"

Taking in a breath, you nodded back. "I do. Very much." You played with some of the hair at the back of his neck. "I want to be a good First Lady for you."

"You are a good First Lady," he corrected, settling a palm on your cheek. You leaned into it, searching his eyes and watching him visibly melt. "But if you want to do this, I'll support you." He brought your hands to his lips. "Spare no expense. Throw the best party the Capitol's ever seen."

A smile lit you up like sunshine and you threw your arms around him again, burying your face in his neck. "Thank you."

"Anything for my wife," he murmured into your hair, rubbing your back gently. His touch sent warmth pulsing through your body and you sighed happily. With his permission and acceptance, a bit of the tension flew into the night, and you found it in you to relax, let him kiss you and make you forget anything else for awhile.

As you laid in the cradle of his arms later, listening to him dream, the thoughts in your mind kept sleep at bay with images of dancing and champagne. Outside the leaves were turning golden and fluttering down to the ground, the sunsets bleeding orange. The next fall holiday would be perfect for your theme. You burrowed into Coriolanus' arms and shut your eyes, kissing his chest. He shifted in his sleep, tightening his arms around you.

Drifting off, you started a list of everything you would need to do to prepare. You'd aided your mother in throwing enough parties when you lived at home, and so in your head there was a general idea of what you needed to do. It unfolded in your mind's eye: every detail you imagined that would make this extraordinary.

Really, how hard could it be?

tagging @kellielovesmovies because <3

[luza-wayne]

someone to protect.

himejima gyomei x reader

wc: 9.4k

a/n: i'm not so sure how to feel about this :||

himejima came out of the room with the meeting he just had with the corps leader that ended swiftly. he bowed one last time to ubayashiki before closing the door.

as he walks down the corridor of the house, he thinks back to what he and ubayashiki talk about.

“ah…” he groaned as he rubbed his palms together. “another newly appointed hashira.”

he was visiting the master when the latter brought up this new information. he was told that this new hashira eliminated the lower rank three of the twelve demon moons.

tears started to fall down his cheeks as usual.

“ah… i wish they wouldn’t die as easily.” he cries, his sensitive heart breaking just by the thought of his fellow slayer dying, even if they haven’t met yet.

meanwhile, you just arrived at the headquarters with the help of a kakushi leading the way for you. you were told by the kakushi to wait in the backyard, while he went to announce your arrival to the people in the house. 

you know why you were here.

recently, you managed to kill the lower rank two.

whether it was luck or not that the sun came out as your stamina was running low from trying to keep him the demon from running away, the only thing you know is that your loathing for those disgusting monsters have gone up to the maximum level. 

just thinking about them makes your hands shake with anger.

that same day you got the recognition for slaughtering the lower rank three was the same day you lost your closest friend.

the friend who you grew up with. that friend who was with you and helped you when a demon killed your only family, your father. that friend who joined the corps with you. 

the friend who you promised to protect.

just to fail. 

…

your mouth was open but no words were coming out of it. you watched in horror as her body slowly lost its strength.

“don't cry…” she muttered, slowly. she knows you don’t realize how much tears are coming out of your eyes, that your sclera is already turning red, the same color as her red-stained clothes.

your friend was lying on your arms, blood flowed out of the large wound the demon gave her when she almost beheaded it. 

“d-don’t talk! help is on their way! just wait for a bit— i promise i won't let you die—” your eyes, disoriented from panicking, looked around to see if anyone's coming your way.

‘is there anything there that can stop her bleeding?! pressure! i should put pressure on the wound—’

your distraught mind stopped when you felt her hands, covered with blood, touch your cheek.

you looked into her already half closed eyes. 

“no… pressure… let me apply—” you uttered, trying to ignore the tightness of your throat.

she shook her head.

“(y/n), it's too late for me…” she answered.

“no, just shut your mouth! i know help is on the way!” you shouted as you took off your haori and tried to tie it around her waist, trying to stop the blood from flowing out more. not noticing how your breaths became shorter and faster. 

“please… just promise me one thing—” she started.

you held her hand on your cheeks and looked down at her. 

“no! i’m not promising you anything! you better survive this! you haven't taught me yet how to make those mochi you always make! i still haven't found the demon who killed my father! you told me you'll help me with it! so you better survive!”

she smiled weakly at you. tears filled her eyes as she listened to you one last time. 

“you have to survive… please… you're the only one i have left…” you whispered, your own tears falling on her cheeks. 

“s-sorry…” she said and stopped to take another deep breath. “please… i'm sorry for leaving you all alone. please be happy…”

you sobbed as you nodded.

seeing your answer, she smiled. and her hands slowly slipped down from their touch on your cheeks, while her eyes slowly closed. 

…

you shook your head. you felt your eyes get teary again and it snapped you out of your thoughts.

that kakushi said i should go to the back, right? 

as you were walking to the backyard, you heard a noise coming from the shrub on the fence’s side. you immediately went into alert, ready to attack it if ever it's something that needs to be taken down at once. 

you took your stance and were ready to sheathe your sword.

“nyaa~”

eh?

“a cat?” you muttered as you relaxed your body. 

what am i doing getting all tense to a cat?

now that i think about it, that was too much reaction. it’s not like there will be demons at the headquarters. what’s more, the sun is out…

“...pfft—” you immediately covered your mouth and tried to hold yourself back from letting out a laugh.

you crouched down and held your hand out to the creature. you moved your fingers and tried to call the cat.

“come here.” you talked to it. 

it meowed again before making its way to you. you peeked on its genitals and noted that it’s a male. he rubbed his face on your palm and you could hear his purrs. a small smile appeared on your lips.

“where did you come from?” you asked him, knowing he wouldn’t answer back except for a meow.

“are you a cat of the master?” you queried again before lifting the cat up and holding it close to your chest.

you examined him and he seems fine with no evident injury. you felt relieved. 

“thank goodness you're not hurt or anything.” you whispered as you pulled him closer to you.

“please live safely.” you added, booping his nose. 

the cat suddenly jumped out of your hold and ran away, vanishing from your view into a corner.

“(y/n)-sama, this way please.” the kakushi with you earlier suddenly spoke. 

you stood and tidied up your uniform.

“yes.” you answered before following them.

“nyaa~” 

“oh?” himejima uttered when the cat meowed his way. he knelt down and offered his arms to the cat.

the cat immediately jumped onto him.

“were you finished talking to that person?” he asked the feline who became fascinated by the sound that his prayer beads are making with his every move.

she must be the new hashira. he thought to himself.

as he pets the cat, he smiles to himself.

at the very least, she seems to be kind from the way she treated this cat. i wish her all the best and hope she survives long.

when his kakushi guide arrived, he left the place carrying the cat that was a stray one when he was on his way to the headquarters.

…

it’s been seven months. 

seven months ever since you’ve been posted in your jurisdiction. you did your best to protect the people from where you were assigned.

you got to admit, with protecting them and having to be always alert that a demon might appear suddenly at night during your patrol helped get some thoughts off of your mind.

but, it will make you never forget the hatred you feel for every demon.

every time you encounter one, at the back of your mind you're thinking that maybe not all demons are like that, only for that thought to be shattered once you hear how they explain with no remorse that eating human flesh is delicious and that they'll always choose to be demon even in their next life.

it makes your skin crawl with disgust that you even gave them a bit of compassion. you regret even thinking that they might be different from others.

you hate them. 

you loathe them. 

you won't forgive them for killing all your beloved ones.

you won't let even one of these revolting creatures escape your blade. you swore to kill the one who took your father's life with this blade.

it's dawn and you just woke up. you sleep during the day as demons are more active during the night, so you as a hashira should be too.

after getting ready, you immediately head out of your house that you bought after receiving your first pay as a hashira.

you also took in two tsuguko. 

they helped you out maintaining the large place. one of them is just waiting for the final selection to take place and become an official part of the corps, while the other one has just started training.

watching them two puts a smile on your face. 

they're such great students. it makes you feel proud just thinking about them becoming the best swordsman they can be.

also, worried and scared. scared that they might end up with the same fate as your best friend.

but, you trust them.

and you can't deny the fact that might happen to you too, today, tomorrow, next week, or soon.

“master, please be careful!” your younger tsuguko waved goodbye to you.

“please come back home to us in one piece!” the older one said.

they looked at each other and smiled widely.

“please bring some dangos too!” they said in unison.

you chuckled and waved back to them while walking out of the house.

“okay, okay. i won’t forget. i'll leave the house to you.” you told them and headed out.

it’s been just months but they’ve become attached to you already.

your older disciple, akiro, was a kid whose sole family left was killed by a demon. the massacre of his family happened around the time when you weren't a hashira yet and was stationed to a different place. you found him, four days after getting the highest rank, aimlessly walking around the town with nothing but his torn clothes from fighting and escaping the demon.

who knows how long he must've been walking around without thinking?

you took him to your rented house during that time. he asked you why you were helping him, and you answered him, it's just natural.

when you bought your current house, he suddenly walked up to you with teary eyes and thanked you for everything you did for him, thinking that you're done taking care of him and was about to leave him. 

you laughed when you heard it, immediately replied saying that he's welcome but you never told him you're moving alone.

he was delighted to hear it, seeing how his face lit up brought a smile to your lips.

when he regained his strength and health back, he asked you to teach him about demons and how to kill them. asking him the reason for wanting to learn it, he replied that he wanted to take revenge for his family member.

it pained your heart a bit. of course, just like you, it’s not easy to forget something like that. but you gave him what he wanted and took him as your first tsuguko.

the younger one, kenji, was a feisty one when you first met him. finding him trying to survive alone in the mountain with nothing but his make-shift weapons and his own built house made of branches of trees and large leaves.

when you spotted his hideout, you thought it was a trap made by a demon in order to catch humans, but when you turned around, you saw him carrying a bundle of woods, to keep him warm for the night.

you asked him what he's doing there and he candidly answered that he lives there. he said that he ran away from his abusive mother after his beloved father died and started living on his own because no one else would take in another mouth to feed.

you know you couldn’t leave a 12-year-old boy alone in the woods. you’re surprised that he wasn’t targeted by the demons yet, but you wouldn’t wait for it to happen first before you act.

you told him that he shouldn’t live there because there could be demons lurking around and that you’ll guide him back to his house. suddenly, a sharp pointed staff almost shoots past your face, you manage to easily dodge it. 

you looked at him and flinched at the mixed look of fear and hate in his eyes. you were wrong for that, you didn’t process what he said earlier and stepped on mine. you apologized to him and just as you were about to speak again, you heard the growling of a demon about to jump at the two of you.

it was just a low-grade demon, so you immediately dealt with it with ease. but, your every slash bore your deep hatred with them as they cut through its neck. when you looked back at him, you told him that this is the reason why he can’t stay there. he was hesitant to come with you, but you promised him that you won’t bring him back to his mother.

your older disciple welcomed him and he slowly warmed up to his new found older brother. 

they are now getting along just fine. the older one became comfortable and is now a reliable one and the younger one’s now a cheerful and healthy kid.

watching them fills your heart with fuzziness and you vow to protect them with everything you could until they become full-fledged swordsmen.

…

you started your patrol around the area, once you didn't really get any order to eradicate a demon or investigate a suspicious case from your crow.

speaking of your crow, it went to the headquarters to get some new information and order from the master and still hasn't come back.

well, based on the time my crow arrives after sending her off is long, i can assume that the headquarters might be far from my place.

guess i'll just have to be alert and patrol around.

it was past midnight already and fortunately you’re not feeling anything suspicious or any presence of a demon.

*caw. caw.*

your eyebrows furrowed when you heard a crow, you turned your head and saw it coming your way. it was your crow finally arriving after a long trip from the headquarters to your jurisdiction.

you raise your arms to her to rest on and she immediately tells you what the leader has told you.

“the master would like to say that the monthly report for hashira’s will be happening next weekend. please be ready.” she started.

you nodded, reaching for her seed bag that you keep on you. you grabbed a fistful of seeds and thanked her for doing all of that.

“also, order! order! you are to collaborate with another hashira tomorrow in a forest that borders both of your assigned regions. lots of lower rank slayers have lost their lives! investigate and kill the demons!” 

she added and ate her seeds as soon as she finished.

another hashira? who might it be?

i’m not familiar with the rest of hashira's. i’m only talking to kanae and then the rest’s name is all i know. 

that aloof looking guy, giyuu. that loud sound hashira, uzui. that one guy who made a scene in the last meeting, i think his name was shigazunawa? 

and that one big guy who always cries…

hi… himejima?

that guy’s always crying, but when i tried talking to him last time as he was the first one to arrive and i came after, he stood in front of me and put his large hands on top of my head and he suddenly prayed.

what was that? 

i just stayed silent because i don’t want to be rude to someone older than me, but that was weird. thankfully, kanae arrived shortly after.

i hope he’s not the one i’m working with tomorrow.

…

great.

as you’re running on the entrance of the forest that your crow has led you to, you could already see himejima’s gigantic body from afar.

you sped up your run and stopped in front of him.

“good evening, himejima-san.” you greeted him, you bowed to him thanking him for waiting for you.

you’re here to slay numerous demons tonight. just thinking about the countless people that died in this place makes your eyes rage with anger and contempt for those atrocious monsters.

as you were raising your head, you felt his hands on the top of your head yet again.

you were about to ask what he’s doing when he started his chants. you wanted to groan in disbelief, but you can’t.

“let’s go.” he uttered as soon as he was finished and started walking towards the forest.

“yes…” you replied and fixed your hair.

seriously, what was that for?

as the two of you walk through the dark, eerie forest, himejima leads the way. the moon was supposed to be your only light, but just your luck, it’s really cloudy tonight. 

you were astonished as to how he easily perceives the structure of his surroundings and the things in front of him.

you weren’t even thinking when you suddenly talked to him.

“himejima-san, it’s amazing. y— you can easily navigate through this forest.” you complimented, realizing in the middle of the sentence that your mouth was speaking your mind, but just decided to follow through.

“mhm. i have a hearing that i enhanced in order to live normally in this world.” he answered, without stopping his feet. “you seemed to have hesitated in continuing your sentence. i can hear that you didn’t mean to say those words out loud.” he added.

he has good hearing, he said? maybe he’s using it like echolocation? or is it really echolocation?

he suddenly stopped walking that alerted you. 

you immediately went into a fighting stance, ready to cut up every single of those sickening creatures that might show up out of nowhere.

“a single thought of a demon makes your thoughts in disarray. your hatred for them is reflecting with your every move, yet it’s holding you back at the same time.” himejima blurted out, not moving an inch from where he was.

“what?” you asked him, with an annoyed face.

“(y/n),” he turned his body halfway and faced you. “your hatred for them is holding you back.”

his words strike a nerve in you. you knew he wouldn’t be able to see your offended face, so you had to use your words.

“i’m sorry, himejime-san, but what do you know about me and the things that i experienced? you’re being extremely rude for our first work together, don’t you think?” you refuted, releasing your hold on your katana grip.

she’s upset. himejima noted in his mind.

“i’m sorry for that. i didn’t mean to upset you.” he apologized.

you were still a bit offended by what he said, but knowing that you can’t move freely in this darkness and he can, you knew arguing with him is not the wisest thing to do.

“i see.” you replied and looked away.

he smiled. he knew it wasn’t a genuine reply from you, but he was at fault here, so didn’t pried more.

he continued walking to where he could feel the presence of the demons.

he also realized that should’ve chosen a friendlier topic to strike up the conversation. he didn’t want to make the first collaboration with the hashira that he’s most interested in awkward, so he tried continuing the talk.

and he did so lousily by mentioning that insight he had about you being hateful to the demons.

after the first time he ever heard her talking to the cat, he was always praying that his crow would not come to him and report that this fellow hashira died in the middle of completing a mission. 

especially when you said those words to the cat, he felt like he needed to always keep a close look at you or else you could lose yourself.

it might’ve been just imagination and self-interpretation, but still. still, he was joyful when you attended the monthly meeting of hashiras for the sixth consecutive time.

he then remembered something kanae told him last meeting.

“how are your tsugukos doing?” he asked, hoping that this time it’s the right topic.

“my tsugukos?” you repeated.

he was right on the target. he could hear how your heart skips a beat with excitement when he mentions them. it was like you forgot that you were angry at him in the first place.

she must’ve cherished them so much.

“mhm. tell me about them.” he replied, smiling while walking straight.

huh? what kind of information does he want me to tell them? uhh…

“they said they want me to bring some dangos on my way home again. i bought them some yesterday and they really liked it.” you revealed.

“yeah. dangos are delicious.” he replied briefly.

“...” 

is that what he wanted to hear or not? why isn’t he saying something?

walking in complete awkwardness, you decided to talk more about your disciples.

“well, you see. my youngest one is still training his swordsmanship, but i can definitely tell. he’ll be a much greater swordsman than i am. he told me he’ll wait until he’s 15 years old and then participate in the final selection. my oldest one is just waiting for the final selection to happen. he’s a great swordsman too, but his quick decision thinking and ability to apply them into action is his edge— ah.” you suddenly realized how much you were talking and got carried away. “sorry, i said too much.” you continued.

“no, i don’t mind.” he comforted you. 

“oh, thank you.”

the walk was a bit quiet for a moment. himejima was contemplating whether it’s good to bring up something he noticed, or just let the conversation end there.

he risked it.

“but, when you mention the final selection. i can hear you’re a bit worried.” he said, hoping that you won’t get mad again.

instead, he heard your chuckles.

“your acute hearing sure is a bad match-up for those who want to keep their secrets, aren’t they?” you laughed.

“you’re right. i was the one who trained them and refined them to be the greatest swordsman that they could. but, deep in my heart… i’m always thinking twice whether to let them participate there or not. the exam is dangerous. unless you’re ready to give everything you got and throw everything away at the same time, you won’t survive there. i know it well because i experienced it too with my friend. she was the only reason i managed to endure those grueling seven days. if it wasn’t for her, i would’ve given up right on the first day.” you babbled.

his short hums and nods tell you that he was listening intently to all of it.

“i know my two students are different from me. they’re not the type to give up on the first day, but i still can’t help but to get worried. i’m scared that they won’t be back on the morning of the eighth day. but, i also don’t want to stop them from their ambitions. i also want them to achieve their dreams and reach their goals, so i won’t stop them. i’ll protect them until they reach it. i know they’ll make me proud, just like how i am proud of them.” you finished with a smile on your face, thinking about the moment when you welcomed them back once they passed the exam.

you look up at himejima and he was looking back at you with a smile, even though you can only see white in his eyes, you know his smile is pure and genuine.

“i’m sure they are also proud to have you as their teacher.” he replied.

your eyes widened as you felt your chest get excited.

“r-really?” you sheepishly said as you looked away.

you know he couldn’t see your face getting pink, but you just can’t help it. 

why is he smiling so softly like that? i’ve never seen him even crack a smile before. it’s weird that i’ve seen this guy cry first and smile next.

preoccupied with your thoughts, you suddenly bumped on his muscular back when you didn’t notice that he suddenly stopped walking.

“there’s a demon coming.” he announced.

alerted, you immediately grabbed your sword. you took your fighting stance ready to face any demon that may come from any direction.

“behind.” himejima uttered, which you quickly responded to.

“got it.” 

you quickly turned around and found a demon lurking up a tree. once he made eye contact with you, he immediately jumped at you.

“whoo! another female with that clothes! i’m so lucky these days! keep coming!” he shouted as he tried to slash you with his sharp claws.

you kept your stance.

once he entered your reach, you drew your blade and used your breathing. 

the water breathing was originally your style, but as time passes you upgraded and turned it to ice breathing. you’re still rough around the edges as sometimes, your body subconsciously uses one of the techniques from the water breathing.

you managed to finish him off with one technique. his body plops on the ground, while his head tumbled next to a tree.

“huh?” he muttered, failing to realize that he had been beheaded. 

he watched as his body slowly turned into ashes. his eyes enlarged, his teeth grinding against each other. he moved his focus to the two hashiras talking.

“your breathing is indeed fascinating. it’s promising.” himejima praised.

“thank you so much. i’m still getting used to it, but i’m working hard on it.” you replied, putting back your sword into its hilt.

“i look forward to it, (y/n). i hope i’ll be there when you finally master that intriguing breathing.” he said and was about to start walking deeper into the woods.

the two heard the demon who's in the middle of incineration, growling his words towards you.

“argh! damn! i can't believe i got beheaded by this mere woman! die!” he uttered, the veins in his eyes almost popping from anger.

you looked down on his head and stared at him with a disgusted face.

“this mere woman didn't even break a sweat in beheading you.” you said, “hurry up and die, demon.”

just conversing with this creature makes your skin crawl with revolt. you turned your head in front and was about to take a walk, when he said something that grabbed your attention.

“ugh! kokumo-sama’s waiting for my hunt tonight!” he intoned, looking desperate and scared. “he’s going to kill me if i don’t present him something! he’ll get mad and report me to that guy!” he added.

huh? ‘kokumo’? did i hear that right?

suddenly, himejima felt it again. the same sound coming from your heart that he heard when he saw you tonight.

he turned around to see you, frozen with a shocked look on your face.

you turned your heel to the demon, walking to him without wasting any time. you grabbed his rough hair and pulled it up until his eyes were on the same level as yours.

“now… what did you just say…? who’s waiting for your hunt…?” your words, chopped yet firm. 

you never broke eye contact with him. your orbs are staring at him as if you could see even his past life as a human.

this demon was on the verge of mental breakdown, scared that he might be killed for not offering a human flesh but then realized that dying would mean he’ll be free from the fear from both kokumo and that guy, kibutsuji.

he thought that even with all the humans he killed and ate, he’s given the chance to have a peaceful passing on.

yet, here you are. glaring at him with such cold and hateful eyes. 

he felt shivers down his spine, even though it’s decapitated already. even kokumo never looked at him with this much spite.

“i— i…” he stutters, “k… kokumo…” he finally answers.

“red haori.” you said, he nodded.

“vertical line marks from his eyes downwards...” he nodded.

“... lower rank 5.” 

he shook his head sideways.

“no… lower rank… 2… now…” he corrected you. 

you were right.

not only were he still alive, he even advanced in ranks. he moved up to the position of the demon that you killed with your best friend.

you stood up, still carrying his head in your hand. you raised your arms and asked him.

“where is he?” you questioned.

you completely ignored himejima’s presence. you didn’t have time to think about him while your reopened deep abomination towards that particular demon.

the incineration reached the demon’s jaw and mouth that he couldn’t answer your question. you looked at his body and saw that hands had turned into ashes already.

“damn! use your goddamn eyes and tell me where he is!” you shouted and grabbed his face with your other hand.

“where is he?!” himejima was surprised, not only by the volume, but with the shakiness driven by hate in your voice. he walked to you and held you by your shoulder. only to be brushed off by you almost immediately.

“tell me where he is!” you shouted again to the demon with trembling eyes.

finally, he moved his eyes. he looked over your shoulder, 5 o’ clock from your position.

without wasting any moment, you threw his head away and started running to where he told that demon was.

with no choice left, himejima decided to follow you. 

he knew you couldn’t see that much in this darkness and he was right. you stumbled, tripped and everything, but you never stopped running. you will not until you find that demon.

earlier, he noted how the sound your body emits was in disarray. just like how it is every time he meets you. he thought chanting a calming prayer for you would work, but he knows it’s only temporary.

every time a demon enters your mind, you immediately feel hate and repulsion. your hatred for them is so deep and it was engraved in every cell.

you were not the type to talk about your past, so kocho couldn’t tell much to him about what happened to you that made you hate demons this much. 

sure, everyone in the corps despised them too. but, he wanted to know the reason for your feelings. that must’ve been the reason why he’s always watching over you and searching for your presence during the monthly meetings.

though, now’s not the time to ask for the reason.

right now, he can hear how disturbed your mind is. your breaths are short and fast. you're so focused on reaching the destination, that you couldn’t hear him calling for you.

“(y/n), slow—” before he could even finish what he was saying, you stopped running.

he tried to feel his surroundings. he’s sure that there is a demon close by, maybe the reason why you stopped.

meanwhile, your eyes narrowed in annoyance. in front of you is a demon who’s out to hunt, not the person you’re looking for.

you unsheathed your sword and immediately pounced on her. 

“don’t get in my way!” you screamed while running towards her and slashing her neck. 

not even sparing her decapitated body a glance, you continued running forward. himejima was calling for your name multiple times while still following your trails, yet it never reaches your ears.

i’m going to kill him!

i’m going to kill him!

that demon who took my father’s life!

these thoughts filled your mind while running past trees.

you’ve met with three more demons, but it only added to your exasperation seeing that they’re not the demon you wanted to see.

it’s actually not just three. himejima fought demons that were coming from different directions. you were so focused in front of you that you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings except for what's ahead of you.

during your interaction with the last demon, there were a lot of demons. himejima got so tangled up in defeating every last one of them, that he just saw you back still running straight in that direction.

he had no choice but to leave your side for a while, even if it put his heart in a nervous state. 

he wanted to protect you, not because he thinks you're weak and does not have the ability to protect yourself, but because right now, you’re in a complete mess. he’s afraid you might not make a sound decision because of your emotion and then find you lifeless there.

with the amount of his co-slayers dying left and right, the thought of you dying is what he hates the most.

he doesn’t understand it too, but maybe the excitement and him looking forward to every monthly report meeting and, especially, the giddy feeling he felt when you arrived tonight and he realized that you two will work together is connected to it.

yet, here you are, you ran and ran, until you reached a spot where a huge boulder was in the middle of the trees.

there, a demon was sitting on top of the rock. sitting cozily there while around him was a pile of human flesh, probably from other demons that offered him their hunt in order to not be killed.

red haori…

vertical lines from his eyes downwards…

and…

lower rank 2…

ahh… 

suddenly, it’s all coming back to me.

“(y/n), run! i’ll distract him!” “what are you doing? i told you to run!” “this is not the time to be stubborn, (y/n)! run!” “huh? your legs?” “please, just bear with it for a while and run!” “okay, thank you for listening one last time…”

the demon notices your presence. he looked down and saw a demon slayer catching up to her breath and looking rather nastily towards him.

“now, now…” he muttered, changing his position and leaning forward. “it’s been a while since i’ve seen an alive human here that’s not an offering.” 

i’m going to kill this disgusting trash. you thought as you went and jumped close to him without even thinking.

naturally, he managed to read your move and kicked you on your stomach. your body came flying back, earning you a few scratches and small open wounds.

you struggled to stand up as you held your sword firmly and looked at him. 

he stood up too and effortlessly jumped down the boulder. he took his time walking close to where you were.

you stayed on your feet, glaring and pointing your blade at him.

“you did well managing to come here without serious injury—” he suddenly halted his movements and took a good look at your face. “well, well. i might be wrong, but we’ve met before, right?”

you narrowed your eyes.

he then laughed maniacally.

“a few years ago, a parent and his child were peacefully living in a small house.” he started to narrate. 

“when one night, a demon arrived and ruined their lives!” his hands were moving in the air in a dramatic way, along with his facial expression.

“but! he was a devoted father! he doesn’t want to lose another one of his family, just like what happened with his wife…” he continued, yet this caught your attention.

how…?

“that’s why he had to distract the demon while his injured daughter ran away.” he glanced at you and smirked.

“he was left alone with the demon without knowing he was the demon’s real target! your father’s a marechi after all!” he revealed. 

you widened your eyes, promptly you went and attacked him with one of your breathing forms.

but, he was able to deflect it.

of course, he’s not like those demons you killed on your way here. this guy is at the top of the chain here. what’s more is that he’s second rank in the lower moon.

“how did you know about my mother going missing?” you asked him.

he tilted his head in confusion and sighed.

“gosh… you’re not that good up here, are you?” he said, pointing to his temple. looking at you with a pitiful expression.

“what?!” you refuted, burrowing your brows together. 

“how did i learn about it? who else would know but the victim themselves, witnesses and… the culprit.” he grinned widely.

“i mistook your mother as the one who had a marechi blood, but when i came back the next evening. it turned out that you moved somewhere else to look for your missing mother that was already in my stomach! hahaha! thankfully, i was able to find your father again. i didn’t care about you, so that was the only reason you’re still alive right now.”

your sight almost turned blurry.

she wasn’t missing nor did she run away because she got tired of living a poor life. it was this thing in front of you who took her away from you and your father.

my mother…

my father…

this demon took my family from me…

i’m going to kill him.

i’m going to kill him!

your body moved on its own. you closed your distance and tried to cut his neck, but to no avail. you failed to cut him down, because he hardened his neck.

your blade and his hard body exchanged blows. yet, it seems like you’re the only one taking the damage.

your attacks, though surely were supposed to be strong, were affected by your rapid and reckless spontaneous decision. it was erratic and weaker in force.

but, that didn’t mean he would hold back with his attack against you.

in such a short time, not even five minutes passed, you were covered with bruises and injuries. not that you had even the smallest amount of attention to look at it.

as you were blown away by his punch, you immediately got on your feet and tried to unleash another technique. 

he must admit that even though it’s evident that you’re not thinking straight, your attacks are still affecting him. 

until, he chanted the words ‘blood demon art’.

ah… that’s right, he still hasn’t used it. even though i’m beat up already. but, i can’t stop my body.

i don’t want to stop.

the only thing on my mind is wanting to see his head separated from his body.

i want to avenge my parents.

i don’t care if i wound up dead, as long as i manage to do it.

“blood demon art: countless projectiles.” he said and numerous long, black lines like the ones on his came appeared.

they moved towards you at an unbelievable speed.

nevertheless, your body was on auto-pilot. you still moved forward and still wanted to cut his head.

i don’t care anymore.

“(y/n)!” 

suddenly, himejima appeared in front of you deflecting all the attacks coming at you. somehow, it irked you.

“heh… someone capable arrived.” kokumo muttered, smirking.

“please move aside, himejima-san. i’ll kill that demon myself. don’t get in my way.” you claimed and stepped forward.

himejima tried to analyze your condition.

you were breathing heavily and it seems like every inhale is hard to do. he could hear the faint gushing sound of your blood coming out of every wound you have.

“i’m sorry, there were a lot more demons here than i thought and they stalled me.” he explained, but you didn’t respond.

“(y/n), i’ll take it from here—” 

“i said i’ll kill that demon myself!” you turned your head to him, glaring at his face. “i don’t care if i die as long as he dies too!”

before he could even reply to you, you took off and charged at kokumo one more time.

kokumo released another attack, with nothing but death on the demon in front of you in your mind, you failed to recognize his plan.

you were surrounded by almost infinite numbers of projectiles. there’s no way you could dodge all of them.

“die!” kokumo exclaimed proudly.

i’m done.

you closed your eyes to brace yourself on getting punctured by the projectiles, but it never came. 

you decided to open your eyes and found kokumo turning around as he just realized where you were. you looked up and saw himejima and his side profile as he carried you in a bridal style. he set you down and leaned your back on the boulder’s surface.

he managed to cancel his attacks in such a short time. you thought as he wiped some of the blood on your face. you wondered how he knew there was blood on your face, but you can’t question him about something like that right now.

“why are you throwing your life away so easily like that?” he said under his breath, you almost didn’t hear him. he looked rather sad rather than upset.

“it’s my life. i’ll decide when i’m throwing my life away or not.” you replied and looked at kokumo who’s getting more irritated that he’s having a hard time already with you and now someone who’s a lot stronger came. “and right now, i’m willing to throw it away as long as i kill that bastard.” you added. 

you were about to stand up once again when you saw kokumo pounce on where you two were, but himejima stopped you. 

“stone breathing second form: upper smash.” he attacked. 

he managed to hit kokumo when he threw his spiked flail upwards and pulled the chain rapidly to create a force once it hit its target. he also threw his axe and was able to cut deep through his left chest across his right chest. this caused kokumo to jump backwards as he heals himself from wounds that the spikes gave him.

“don’t get in my way, himejima-san! i’ll be the one killing him!” you shouted as you shakily stood up. using your hand by holding on to the boulder to balance your body, while your other hand is still firmly held on your sword.

himejima didn’t say anything, he didn’t look back at you. the sound of his chains getting dragged back to him was the prominent sound that you heard at that moment.

“do you not treasure your life?” he asked.

why does he keep getting in my way and asking me that? i already told him earlier that he doesn’t know anything about what i experienced and leave me alone!

fine!

“my family has been killed by that guy. my best friend was also killed by the former lower rank 2. i’ve been left alone because of these demons and you’re asking me if i treasure my life?!” you snapped at him, not noticing how your tears gathered around your eyes.

“everyone that i cherished has been killed and taken away from me already! i don’t care anymore! i don’t want—” your tears have started falling.

your emotions pouring out like an overfilled cup, but his next question left you speechless.

“aren’t your tsugukos waiting for the dangos?” he uttered, shifting his body to you.

“huh?”

it seems like your world has stopped spinning. you stood there silently with wide eyes.

my tsugukos…

akiro… kenji…

“master, this dango’s really delicious!” “you should try some, master!” “hey! kenji! that’s mine!” “eh? master wanted to eat some too!” “why would you get it from me then?” “i already ate all of mine. i can give this to master, right, ‘akiro-niisan’?” “tsk. go ahead. just know it’s not because you called me ‘nii-san’.” “yeah, yeah.”

“master, please be careful on your mission today!” “get back to us in one piece. i’ll take care of kenji here, so don’t worry.” “and, please bring some dango again, hehe!”

your knees suddenly gave up, you sat on the ground, staring at the bracelet that they both made for you. they jokingly said that it will protect you because they made it, but still you wore it. because of the same reason. 

they made it. for you.

kokumo finished healing himself and tried to use his projectiles again, but himejima, before kokumo finished his attack, flung his chain and chopped one of kokumo’s legs. he fell down and hid himself using a fort that he built with his blood demon art right there and then. at least, himejima knew that he wouldn't run away.

“you said…” himejima started. you raised your head and looked at him with blurry eyes caused by tears. “...that you’ll protect them until they achieve their goals and dreams.” 

you shook your head in denial, wanting to refute what he was about to say but no words came out of your lips. 

the picture of akiro and kenji seeing your crow arrive and thinking you’re back. but, then breaking down in tears once they’ve heard your passing kept replaying in your mind.

“are you going to throw away your life knowing your students are waiting patiently for your return and they welcome you back like always?” he asked, grabbing the chance that kokumo is hiding himself and walked to you.

he kneeled down on his one foot in front of you.

“no! no!” you finally spoke, bawling. you grabbed ahold of his green haori and looked up at him. 

“i don’t want them to suffer! i don’t want them to feel hurt again! i don’t want them to be abandoned yet again! they’re finally happy and smiling! i don’t want to see them crying again! they’re my only salvation left here in this world! i don’t want them to be left again.” you sobbed as you snuggled your face on his chest.

his large hands landed on your hair and back, pushing you closer to him providing you comfort and ease.

but, the picture of them crying wasn't leaving your mind.

i’m sorry… i’m sorry… i’m not going to throw my life carelessly anymore… 

i’ll be home later with the dangos that you two wanted, so wait for me.

you pulled away from him and wiped your face. you were still sniffing, but you were sure it wouldn’t be in the way of your breathing technique.

“i’m fine now.” you told him and he just nodded.

he stood up and stepped backwards. you looked at him when you saw him do that. you glanced at him with a confused look.

“i won’t get in your way anymore.” he said with a small smile.

“why?” you questioned, not understanding why now.

“i’m not hearing that your mind is in disarray anymore. you can do it.” he encouraged and clasped his hand together again.

you smiled.

i see. so that’s why…

you looked at kokumo, he just removed the fort he made. with an enraged face, he chanted his art technique yet again.

but, you didn’t care. not even when you’re injured and full of wounds. you closed your distance with him. when you calculated the right distance, you stopped walking.

originally, my ice breathing had only four forms. it’s a breathing that only i used, so it’s hard to make forms. 

but, i have this attack in my mind. i never executed it, even in practice, but i’m getting a feeling that i can do it.

“ice breathing fifth form: complete stillness”

it was a technique that makes the surroundings around you, with a certain distance, frozen. this makes them immobilized for three seconds.

but those three seconds are just what you need.

i’m sorry, my dear best friend, mom, and dad. 

i always thought that once i kill this guy, i’ll join you there. but, it seems like i won’t be able to now.

you see, i have two children looking forward to my return.

i’m sorry and thank you for being my will to live. i’ve found another reason to continue living too.

kokumo’s head rolled on the ground and his body soon fell over, but just as you. the exhaustion finally caught up to you. 

the difference between your body and kokumo’s is that his body fell flat on the dirty soil, while yours was immediately caught by himejima, carrying your body in a bridal style yet again.

you tried to open your eyes, you barely managed to. when you saw himejima’s face, you smiled brightly.

“himejima-san…” you called with half-lidded orbs.

“hm?” he hummed, gazing down at you. after he checked that kokumo’s body had started turning into ashes, he started walking out of the forest.

“i killed him… without dying…” you said proudly.

“you’re right. i’m relieved we’re going out of this forest both alive. you did so well. i’m proud of you.” he complimented without skipping a beat.

something did skip a beat and it’s your heart. hearing his genuine compliment and relief, puts a blush on your cheeks even though your body is so tired.

what’s more is that you’re worried that his acute hearing caught that.

ugh, so embarrassing. i’ll just pretend to be asleep.

you rested your head on his shoulder and tried to make it seem like you’ve fallen asleep.

cute. himejima chuckled silently.

…

“master?” akiro uttered confusedly.

it was already dawn and they were both up. kenji heard what he said and excitedly went to the door to welcome you. 

“eh?” he said, just as confused as the other boy.

himejima-san??? 

you still had your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, but this time out of embarrassment.

i didn’t think he would walk me back to my house while carrying me!

please put me down!

but, i can’t say it!

people are staring!

you peeked and tried to look if you were close to your house already. your crow did the work of guiding him to where your residence is, because you realized he’s going to carry you, so you hid your face.

you saw akiro and kenji on the front door with confused looks on their faces.

“h-himejima-san, we’re close to my house already, so you can put me down already. i’ll walk on my own now—” 

“no. you hurt your feet in the fight, you’re not supposed to be walking.” he cut you off and continued walking. 

he heard a conversation about their ‘master’, so he knew what direction he would be going.

he stopped right in front of them, looming over the two children with his enormous height. they were obviously frightened.

“p-please give us back our master.” akiro asked.

“what did you do to our master?!” kenji interrogated, while akira shielded him securely behind him.

akiro examined the man carrying you and noticed that he was wearing the same uniform as yours and his golden buttons.

you tapped on himejima’s back, signaling him to let you down. finally putting you down carefully, supporting your back as you get on your feet.

you looked over to akiro and kenji and smiled.

they were still confused, but slowly made their way to you. 

you kneeled down. for their ages, they’re quite tall, making you gaze up at them. you opened your arms and pulled them into an embrace.

“i’m home…” you whispered, hugging them even tighter.

the two children were surprised, you’ve come home from missions, easy and perilous missions, but you never came home in this manner.

akiro was about to ask what happened when he heard you sniffle. he worriedly peeked at the younger one and was about to ask if he knew what’s happening, only to see him bawling already.

“wahhh! why are you crying, master?” he cried, snuggling his face on your clothes.

“mhm-mm.” you shook your head. you withdrew from the hug, but kenji didn’t want to let go, that’s why he continued hugging you. 

“nothing. i’m just happy i was able to come back home.” you answered him, caressing his head.

you looked at akiro and put your hand over his cheeks lightly.

“akiro, where’s my ‘welcome back’?” you asked, chuckling softly.

he doesn’t understand it. 

the reason why you came home crying, why you’re doing this, and why you’re being like this.

he doesn’t understand why it makes him feel relieved that you look like you’ve finally lifted off of the heavy weight on your back that you never talked about.

he doesn’t understand why you’re looking at them like your world is them.

he doesn’t understand why he feels so overwhelmed seeing you like this when he doesn’t even understand anything.

yet, he can’t stop his tears as you wait for him and stare at him tenderly.

“w… welcome back, master.” he welcomed finally as he nestled himself next to his brother.

you looked behind and met himejima, crying as usual, as he listened to the three of you.

“himejima-san. thank you for making me realize i have something to protect.” you thanked him, smiling and hoping he could hear your genuine grateful feelings.

he smiled, though tears continued flowing.

“no…” he replied smiling and suddenly remembered something.

“more importantly,” he lifted his hands and you laughed. 

akiro and kenji looked up while wiping their tears and they suddenly lit up. 

“shall we eat this now?” he raised the bag on his hands and inside are dangos that are waiting to be consumed.

“dango!” the two boys said in unison.

kenji ran to him and himejima gave him the bag. the boy happily cheered, completely forgetting how scared he was by the person in front of him earlier. himejima just ruffled his hair and kenji pulled him by his fingers to come inside the estate.

akiro helped you get up, you limped while walking and accidentally let out a hiss in pain. until, himejima once again carried you.

“himejima-san! i’m fine! oh gosh…” you said to him.

he raised his brow in confusion.

“you’re obviously not.” he muttered matter-of-factly.

“akiro—” you were about to say to akiro that you can just ask akiro to support you while walking, but the kid was not there anymore.

you looked at the front and he was there with kenji, who was delighted by the dango, and akira was giving you a teasing look.

that kid!

ugh… it’s so embarrassing!

it’s even more embarrassing knowing he can surely hear how fast my heart is thumping right now!

“me too…” he suddenly spoke.

you glanced up at him.

“thank you.” he thanked you.

“huh? why? i didn’t do anything though…” you were muddled by what he’s saying.

the corner of his lips moving upwards, it’s not visible but from your position, it’s easy to point out.

“i also realized that i have someone to protect outside of my responsibility as a demon slayer.” he said.

“huh?” i did that? “when did i—”

“for the next hashira meeting next week, i’m hoping for your presence there in a full condition.” he said while he set you down on the tatami floor.

akiro and kenji went to get silverwares to eat the dangos, leaving both of you alone in the living room.

“i’ll try my best to recover fast.” you promised, looking at all your wounds and injuries that were already aided by the kakushis, that you didn’t hear what he whispered.

“...say it to you.” were the only words you caught.

“what was that?” you asked him, but akiro and kenji came back from the kitchen.

“let’s eat this now before it gets chewy.” he redirected your attention.

he sat in front of you while akira occupied the left side of the table and kenji did for the right side.

the boys started eating and exclaimed how delicious it was. you decided to eat some too, picking up one stick and gently taking a bite.

himejima silently listened to all of you enjoying the taste of the sweet. he smiled as he focused on your voice.

“please eat up, himejima-san.” you offered him, reaching for another stick and gave it to him. “it’s really delicious.”

“i see. i’ll try some too, then.” he said and took a bite. “it really is delicious.”

“see!” you chuckled.

it made him smile and thought to himself.

‘during those seven days before the meeting, i’ll be sure that what i’m feeling is much more than wanting to reason for your hatred for demons. so, please be there when i finally get the courage to say it to you.’, that's what i said earlier, but now i’m certain.

it wasn’t a kind of worry you will have for your colleague.

i wasn’t familiar with this feeling, so i thought it was just normal.

i’ll just pray she’ll accept my feelings.

‘(y/n), i know you don’t need protection. you’re strong after all. i’ll still promise that i'll always protect you and those who are precious to you.’

i want to say that to you.

but, not now.

you’ve just realized that witnessing these two precious boys' growth are worth living for and you should only be focusing on that for now.

“i look forward to that day.” he muttered to himself and took another bite.

hope you enjoyed that one, because i did. reblogs would be much appreciated!

if you'd like to support me and my broke ass, you can tip me at my ko-fi acc! thank you very much!

[lunaatthezoo]

once Elain and Azriel are together how do you think they’ll interact in front of the others? Are they into pda? Do they talk more? Are they funnier? Do they play sneaky pranks? Are they sappy? Does she get bolder? I can’t decide what I think on it and I’m sooo curious.

I love this question. This is what I think about most of my waking hours I'm not even JOKING. Here are some of my elriel endgame headcanons. Many inspired by other creators like @merakimoonglade @moonfalles @murkyrealms @jasmineandcedar @nikachansstuff @tswaney17 and so many other wonderful people on here.

~ Touching ALL the time. Not inappropriate PDA, but just touching to know that they are there together. Azriel keeps touching Elain because he can't believe he's allowed to, and can't believe how lucky he is. Little butt pats when he walks by, kisses on the forehead and shoulder, hands tangled in hair while they're sitting, little squeeze of the waist. A hand on the thigh. A kiss on the knuckles. Elain can't resist touching Azriel either because she can't believe this is her life now. They always need to reassure themselves that this is real.

~ I think they have the potential to be the funniest couple, in a quiet, subtle way. They have both demonstrated so much subtle humor, with Elain's gifts, with Azriel's interactions with other characters. And they both notice things most others don't. I think they would do hilarious things to get out of social obligations that they don't want to deal with or when the family is being too obnoxious, taking advantage of their powers. They're gonna exchange meaningful looks and Elain will pretend she's having a vision or Azriel will pretend his shadows are telling him something and they'll just bounce hahaha.

~ I think they will both still be quiet, because it's who they are as people. But if it comes to defending each other's choices or honor, they are going to speak. Up.

~ I think the inner circle will be shocked and moved at seeing Azriel happy for the first time. He'll be pulling Elain into his lap, laughing deeply, gazing at her lovingly and tucking hair behind her ear. It's going to be a new, content side to him that they've never seen before. They won't really know what to do with it and Cass will probably use humor like telling him it's unnatural or gross to see him so happy lol.

~ I think they will spend SO MUCH time in bed. Yes canoodling but also just being there together. Imagine. When they wake up in the morning, they will spend so long cuddling, kissing, snuggling, just being there together. Az will bring Elain tea in bed. When Elain gets up early to garden, she'll be so quiet to not disturb Az's sleep because she knows this is the first time he's gotten peaceful rest in all his centuries.

~ I think Elain is already bold but I think with Az in her corner she will grow further in her self confidence and become more involved in what the court is doing.

~ I think Azriel will be the most deranged, feral, protective partner out of all the brothers. Just full obsession. Breaking fingers just for looking at his girl wrong. Ripping out hearts if they touch her. And Elain will just be like oh thank you ☺️🌸

~ I think their love languages will be acts of service and physical touch. They will ALWAYS be doing things for each other.

~ Elain is going to FUSS over Azriel and he's going to be like 😳 about it. She's going to give Rhys a talking to if he overworks her husband. She's going to make him see Madja for every nick and scrape he gets. She's going to force him to nap if he looks tired (and with her laying there stroking his hair, he will.)

~ Az is going to be absolutely positively undeniably whipped. Whatever his girl wants, she gets. She says jump he says I'm already in the air. She mentions a flower ONE time and the next day he's procured the rare seeds. His new title will be Azriel, professional Elain simp of the night court

~ Azriel will take Elain's last name. Because he is bastard born, he doesn't have a family name. So he becomes Azriel Archeron and is SO PROUD of it. He uses is last name whenever he can.

~ I think they will adopt children. Especially given Azriel's history, I think it would be very healing to give children homes who might otherwise feel unwanted or alone. And since Sarah is adopted I just think it would be a beautiful thread. Elain is so caring and nurturing she would be completely on board and SPOIL those children.

~ they're going to have crazy fucking feral animal sex (also, switches.) I'm talking extreme dirty talk, bite marks, handprints, knife play, strap ons, they're kinky. If I know ONE thing about Azriel Archeron, it's that he's a panty ripper.

~ Elain is obsessed with Azriel's hands. Azriel is obsessed with Elain's neck. They are both obsessed with each other's hair.

~ Azriel's pet names for Elain include: beautiful, love, angel, sweetheart. Elain always calls Azriel by his name because she thinks it's so beautiful, but sometimes she calls him "my love"

~ they are both PATHETIC about how much they miss each other when Az is away on missions. To the point where other people are like OK WE GET IT GOOD LORD.

I could literally just keep going. And going. And going. I have SAGAS of HCs in my mind. But I hope these scratch some itches 🥹

Thank u for the question, this gave me life.

[pbaz7]

It'll Always Be Her Chapter III

AN: I'm back with the next part as a few people requested that I post today. Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas of how things should or will play out next.

To say the last few days were tense would be an understatement. Paige had always thought she was good at compartmentalizing, keeping her personal life separate from the rest of her world. But Azzi wasn’t kidding when she said she was done with the hidden flirting. If Paige thought the quiet smirks and whispered comments were bad, Azzi’s new approach was downright audacious—and she wasn’t the only one feeling the heat.

The first instance came after their season opener. The team continuing with tradition celebrated their victory at Ted’s, a local favorite known for its lively atmosphere, privacy, and amazing drinks. Tonight drinks were flowing, the music was loud, and the energy from their win had everyone in high spirits. Paige had just started nursing her third drink when a group of fan girls approached her.

"Paige, right?" one of them asked breathlessly, eyes sparkling. "You were amazing out there! We were totally screaming for you."

Paige smiled, her polite, down-to-earth demeanor shining through as she graciously thanked them. The conversation dragged on, though, and she found herself stuck between answering their rapid-fire questions and trying not to let her eyes wander too much. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, her gaze kept drifting toward Azzi, who was leaning against the bar near their teammates with a devilish grin as if she knew something like this would happen tonight. 

Azzi met her eyes and raised her glass in a silent toast, the playful gleam in her eyes promising mischief. Paige could feel her cheeks warming even more.

It wasn’t long before Azzi decided it was time to make her move. She slipped away from her spot at the bar and strode over, moving with a confidence that made heads turn. The fan girls didn't even notice at first, too caught up in their excitement. Azzi, however, made sure to grab their attention.

She leaned in, her voice husky and warm, "Hey, blondie. You look like you need another drink.” 

Azzi’s hand lightly brushed against Paige’s arm, sending a surge of heat up her spine. But it didn’t stop there—no, Azzi was determined to make a statement. She leaned closer, her body subtly pressing into Paige’s as she slid into the space between Paige’s legs, standing far too close.

Paige’s heart skipped a beat as Azzi’s fingers lightly traced the top of her thigh, just enough to make her skin prickle. "Seems like you’re the star of the night," Azzi murmured, her lips only inches away from Paige’s ear. "But I think you might need a break from all the attention."

The fan girls stared, their wide eyes flicking between Paige and Azzi, but Azzi didn’t care. In fact, she reveled in it, loving that only her touch could make Paige’s breath catch in her throat. She placed a possessive hand on Paige’s waist and leaned even closer, her lips brushing against Paige’s earlobe as she whispered, "I could make your night a lot more interesting, you know."

The fan girls finally took the hint and began to shuffle away, clearly flustered. Paige could barely even process what had just happened, her mind racing with confusion and excitement.

As the last of the fan girls disappeared into the crowd, Paige leaned back in her chair, trying to act nonchalant, but the heat in her cheeks betrayed her. "Well, that was bold," she said, the teasing edge in her voice covering up her flustered state. "Not worried about the rumors you’re about to start?"

Azzi smirked, her fingers still lightly grazing Paige’s arm, and she shrugged with an air of total confidence. "Let them talk," she said, her voice playful yet low. "It’s worth it to see you blush like that." She leaned in just slightly, her lips brushing against Paige’s ear as she added, "Maybe next time, you won’t be able to resist."

Paige’s breath hitched at the suggestion, her mind reeling. Azzi pulled back, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You know I’m just getting started," Azzi teased, enjoying every moment of this. "You better keep up."

Paige laughed, shaking her head, but the truth was, her heart was racing. Azzi’s boldness was a challenge—and she knew that her counterpart always loved a good competition.

… 

The night was in full swing, the music pounding through the room and the mood light with laughter and a few too many drinks. Paige was feeling the buzz, her inhibitions loosening as the drinks went down. But there was something nagging at her—the sight of Azzi laughing and dancing, surrounded by people who were getting just a little too touchy. There was one guy in particular who kept lingering too close to Azzi, touching her arm, laughing just a little too loudly. It made Paige’s chest tighten with something unfamiliar, something she wasn’t ready to label yet.

But instead of stewing in frustration, Paige decided that it was her turn to be a little bold now. Her gaze locked onto Azzi across the room, and with a slight smirk, she made her way over to the crowd surrounding her. When she reached Azzi, she didn’t waste any time.

Azzi was holding court in the center of the group, laughing at something one of the guys had said. As Paige approached, she felt a sudden surge of confidence—alcohol and adrenaline mixing in her veins. She stepped right up to Azzi, cutting into the conversation with a playful grin.

"Well, well, look who’s the life of the party," Paige said, her voice a little louder than usual, enough to draw Azzi's attention.

Azzi turned, surprised at first, but her lips curled into a mischievous smile. "Says the campus superstar herself," she teased, her gaze flicking down to Paige’s hand, where she was holding a drink. Before Paige could react, Azzi took the drink right out of her hand, taking a sip as she looked up at Paige through her eyelashes with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

"Hey!" Paige laughed, a little taken aback, but the playful challenge in Azzi’s expression made her pulse quicken. "You gonna steal all my drinks now?"

Azzi shrugged, savoring the taste of the drink as she kept her eyes locked on Paige. "Maybe I’ll steal more than that," she said, her tone low and teasing, her lips curling around the rim of the glass.

Paige leaned in slightly, a flirtatious edge to her voice. "You’ve already stolen my attention," she said, her hand brushing against Azzi’s arm as she took a step closer. "What’s next? Are you planning on stealing my heart too?"

Azzi’s smile widened, and she placed the drink down on the table beside them, stepping even closer to Paige. "If I wanted to steal your heart, blondie," she whispered, her voice low and smooth, "I’d have to make sure you’re worth stealing."

Paige’s heart skipped a beat at the boldness of Azzi’s words. She hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn, but the heat between them was undeniable now. "I’m not sure if you can handle me," Paige shot back, her eyes glinting with challenge. "But you can try."

Azzi chuckled softly, the sound sending a shiver through Paige’s spine. "I like a challenge," she replied, her gaze never leaving Paige’s. "And you, Paige... you’re definitely a challenge."

Paige took a step closer, closing the space between them, her breath hitching at the way Azzi was looking at her. "Maybe I like making things a little difficult," she murmured, her lips almost brushing Azzi’s as she leaned in just slightly. "Maybe I want to see if you can handle me too."

Azzi’s eyes darkened, the playful glint now tinged with something else, something heavier, as if the air between them had shifted. She didn’t back away. Instead, she closed the gap a little more, her lips just barely brushing against Paige’s ear. "You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into P," she whispered, the words sending a thrill through Paige.

Paige’s breath caught in her throat, and before she could respond, Azzi pulled back, giving her a sly grin. "But that’s the fun of it, isn’t it?"

Paige, still reeling from the closeness, tried to keep her cool but failed. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "Maybe," she said, her voice breathy but full of intent, "but you're not the only one who can play this game, Azzi."

Azzi’s eyes lit up with excitement. "We’ll see about that," she said, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. "But maybe we should just leave the game for later."

Paige nodded, a little breathless from the flirtation, but she wasn’t backing down. "Later," she echoed, her gaze lingering on Azzi as they both stood there in the middle of the dance floor. The tension between them was thick, and neither one was willing to be the first to break it.

…

As the night wore on, the energy in the room started to calm. The music had softened, the crowd thinning as people began winding down. Azzi found herself sitting with Caroline in a quieter corner of the bar, nursing a drink and watching the others slowly slip into their own worlds. Caroline, ever the perceptive one, couldn't help but notice the way Azzi kept glancing toward Paige across the room.

"Alright, I gotta ask," Caroline said, her tone teasing but curious. "What happened with you two? You’ve been practically attached at the hip tonight, eying each other across the bar and yet... here you are. Not exactly at her side, huh?"

Azzi smirked, her gaze following Paige for a moment as the blonde chatted with a group of friends. There was a softness in her eyes, one that Caroline had learned to recognize in Azzi whenever she was looking at Paige. "You’re right," she said, her voice quieter now, the playfulness dimming just a little. "We’ve been close tonight. More than usual, even."

Caroline raised an eyebrow. "So, why aren’t you at home in her bed? Seems like that would be the natural progression from here."

Azzi exhaled slowly, her smile soft but sincere. "It would be, yeah. But as much as I want to go there... it’s not the right time," she explained, her eyes meeting Caroline’s with a mixture of frustration and understanding. "Paige is with Jess. And we both know that... well, we don’t want to do anything until she ends things with her. Jess thinks she’s her girlfriend, no matter how clear things are for us right now and we’re not the type of people to just ignore that."

Caroline nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of her drink. "Yeah, but come on, Azzi," she pressed, her voice laced with amusement. "You two have been making it pretty obvious that something’s going on. I saw the way she was looking at you earlier. And don’t even get me started on how she’s been touching you all night."

Azzi’s lips curled into a wry smile. "It’s a game, Car. We both know what we’re doing. But as much as we can flirt and play this little cat-and-mouse thing... we’re not going to cross the line. At least not yet." She glanced back over at Paige again, her gaze softening as she watched the blonde laugh with her friends. "We’re both good people. And neither of us wants to hurt Jess. I want Paige. I really do. But we’re not going to let things get messy."

Caroline gave Azzi a long look, clearly understanding. "You’re being patient. I get it. But, come on. You’re not gonna let this whole thing with Jess drag on forever, right? You know you two are something. Don’t let it slip through your fingers just because of some messy situation."

Azzi nodded, her fingers tapping on the edge of her glass thoughtfully. "I know," she said quietly, a certain resolve in her voice. "I want this. I want Paige. But it needs to happen the right way. I don’t want to risk tainting something real with mess and confusion. If we’re going to do this, it has to be with everything in the right place."

Caroline leaned back, nodding approvingly. "Alright. I can respect that. But don’t let the waiting game become a trap, you know?"

Azzi chuckled softly, the playful edge returning to her voice. "For now, this game is enough."

As she finished speaking, Paige suddenly appeared at their table, looking a little tipsy but still as radiant as ever. She caught Azzi’s eye, and a smile tugged at her lips. "Hey," Paige said, her voice slightly more subdued now but still warm. "You ready to head back to my suite?"

Azzi’s heart skipped a beat at the simple words, and she couldn’t suppress the small grin that appeared on her face. She looked up at Paige, her expression soft and affectionate. "Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go."

The two stood up together, the familiar buzz between them still crackling in the air. As they walked toward the exit, their arms brushed slightly, a silent reminder of the tension they had been building for days. They didn’t need words. They were content, for now, simply being in each other’s company, the promise of something more hanging in the air between them.

They left Ted’s together, side by side, their shared glances speaking volumes, neither one of them rushing anything, but both silently acknowledging that whatever came next, they were in it together.

…

The next time this tension was undeniably high they were in the weight room the next day.

Paige had always considered herself a pretty disciplined person. She was serious about her workouts, always focused, always pushing herself. But lately, in the presence of Azzi, everything seemed to blur into a haze of tension and unspoken words. The weight room, usually a place where she could clear her mind, was becoming a place where she couldn’t stop thinking about the girl across from her. And today was no different.

They had been joking around all morning, laughing and teasing each other in between sets, but there was something in the air today—something that made the playful banter feel a little too heavy, a little too charged. The tension was so thick between them that it almost felt like the air around them crackled.

“Alright,” Paige said, a smirk tugging at her lips as she clapped her hands together, “time to show you how it’s done.”

Azzi raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed, leaning back against the bench as she watched Paige with a confident grin. “You think you’re gonna impress me, huh?”

Paige chuckled and set herself in position, already feeling the adrenaline pumping. “You’d be surprised. You’ve been working with me for a while now. I think you know I’m full of surprises.”

Paige finished her set flawlessly and with a wink, she moved into position to spot Azzi for the bench press. The younger girl settled onto the bench, her focus immediately shifting to the barbell in front of her. But there was a tension in her posture, a sense that something was different today, even if she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Paige's eyes lingered on Azzi’s form as she settled, her muscles flexing under her shirt as she prepared for the set. There was something about the way Azzi moved that Paige had always admired, but today felt like the perfect time to tell the younger girl this.

As Azzi lowered the bar to her chest, Paige adjusted her grip, hovering just above her. Her tone was light, teasing, but there was a hint of something darker underneath. “You’re doing great, Azzi. Just like that. You know, you’ve got such a beautiful form… it’s hard to concentrate when you’re looking at me like that.”

Azzi’s breath caught for a split second as she looked up at Paige. She hadn’t been expecting that kind of comment, especially not with so many people around. But the glint in Paige’s eyes made it clear that this was more than just a passing remark. The older girl was baiting her.

“Is that so?” Azzi teased, trying to keep her voice steady, but there was an edge to it now, something that hadn’t been there before. “What, you think you can distract me while I’m lifting?”

Paige smirked, her lips curving in a way that made Azzi’s stomach flip. “I think you might like it. You seem to like when I’m close. You’re doing so good though, but I might need to help you a bit more. Want me to talk you through it?”

Azzi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but the challenge in her gaze shifted into something more intense. “You’re not shy, are you?” she asked, her voice dipping into something lower. She was starting to feel the pull too—this was the game they had been playing, but today, it felt like it was about to break.

Paige’s voice was soft but provocative, right in Azzi’s ear. “I don’t need to be shy when you’re so easy to read. It’s not hard to tell you like when I get close.”

The tension between them thickened, the playful atmosphere from earlier now giving way to something far more charged. Paige leaned forward, a hand brushing Azzi’s shoulder as she hovered close, not letting go of her spot. She could feel Azzi’s body react under her touch, her chest rising and falling with the exertion of the set.

“Paige…” Azzi’s voice was barely a whisper now, but there was no mistaking the heat in it.

Paige smiled, the teasing edge never leaving her voice. “You know, Azzi, you’re really good at keeping things under control. But I’m starting to wonder how long you’ll be able to do that when I’m so close.”

The younger girl’s eyes flickered, caught between a flash of amusement and a deeper, darker desire. It was as if a switch had flipped in her mind, and now, she was just as bold as Paige had been. Azzi’s breath hitched, her eyes meeting Paige’s with a mischievous grin. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?” she said, a hint of defiance in her voice. She finished the set with an extra burst of energy, and Paige noticed the shift in her—the way her hands gripped the bar with more intensity, how her eyes never left Paige’s.

Paige couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at her lips. “Oh, I’m definitely going to find out. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to keep an eye on you. Wouldn’t want you to lose control.”

Azzi laughed softly, but the sound was almost a challenge in itself. “You think you can keep me under control, huh?”

Paige leaned in even closer, the heat between them palpable now. Her voice was barely a whisper, low and teasing. “I think I can handle it. I’m starting to realize I might enjoy watching you lose control better though.”

The comment was out before Paige could think better of it. Azzi’s eyes widened for a brief second, caught off guard by the directness of it, but there was a flicker of something darker in her gaze. Paige was playing the game differently now, and Azzi found herself intrigued, maybe even a little rattled.

Azzi took a deep breath, gathering herself before speaking, her tone laced with a teasing edge. “Well, you’ve got me curious now. Let’s see who loses control first.” She pushed the bar back up with a confident grunt, her body moving fluidly as she caught Paige’s gaze again. “But don’t think I’m the only one who can push boundaries.”

The words lingered in the air between them, and for a moment, neither of them moved, as if the world outside the two of them had disappeared entirely. The only thing that mattered was the heat that surged between their gazes, the pulse of their shared breath.

Before either of them could continue down the dangerous path they were on, CD’s voice broke through the haze. “Alright, ladies, let’s move on to the next rotation.”

The interruption was almost a relief. Almost. Paige took a step back, her chest still rising and falling rapidly, trying to steady herself. Azzi, on the other hand, exhaled slowly, a sly smile playing at the corners of her lips as she stood up, brushing off her shirt with a nonchalant air. But there was still that charged look in her eyes—the one that told Paige everything they’d just experienced wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.

“Later, Paige,” Azzi said softly, her voice a teasing murmur as she turned to walk away, leaving Paige behind to wonder just how much further they could take this game before it consumed them both.

[yeonjunsvape]

vampire date: hoshi pt. 1

genre: angst (smut in pt. 2)

w/c: 2k

pairings: vampire!hoshi, female!reader

warnings: drinking, softporn

summary: vampire!hoshi meets someone for the first time who is disobedient to his orders and he wants to know her secret.

"i know i'm an hour late, my day hasn't gone great, i'll be there in 30." you hang up on your (with all the best intentions) overbearing, best friend.

not only did you wake up with a huge pimple on your face, but at work 2 people dine and dashed and you had to pay their bill. when your best friend suggested going to a new club in the city, all you wanted to do was deny and go to sleep, but then she started talking about getting plastered, which sounds amazing right now.

after finishing the final touches on your makeup, you grab your purse, and call an uber to the new club. (dont drink and drive 🔫).

"you're going to Le Chamber? i've been there once... bad energy." the uber driver spoke as he drove the car and you notice a crucifix around his neck. "bad energy?" you usually don't interact with strangers but since it's your first time going to the club, it peaked your interest.

"yeah, as soon as i stepped inside i felt something off, like an evil vibe." you end the conversation with a 'hum' and stare out the window to the mysterious club.

when you finally arrive, you pay the uber then head inside to meet your best friend, who is on the dance floor and already drunk.

she yells your name over the music and you run over, giving her a big hug. "here drink," she demands and hands you two shots of god knows what.

without hesitation you throw your head back, taking both of them down with a scrunched up face and start dancing with your best friend.

there was a cluster of rooms on the second floor of the club that people rented out for parties and as soon as you turn to get more shots, you see 4 strikingly handsome men walk down the spiral staircase.

you call out your order to the bartender but your eyes never leave the men as they walk with a synchronized stride, almost like they're floating. when they get closer, you can see their gothic attire and tattoos all over their bodies.

"8 shots of straight vodka." one of them with bleached blonde hair, says to the bartender who was currently making your drinks.

the bartender looks him in the eyes and without a word, drops your drink, making the mysterious man his instead. you scoff loudly, "hey, what about my drink?" you yell over the music and the bartender ignores you, eyes still fixed on making the 8 shots.

"thanks to this asshole, i guess chivalry really is dead." you mutter to yourself and the mystery man chuckles. "chivalry isn't dead, i can just be quite convincing when i want to be."

your eyebrow raised when him and his friends laugh at his stupid comeback but you were not only confused on how he heard you, but also on how you heard him so clearly over the music.

after a few hours and 10 shots in, you were on the dance floor with your best friend, dancing with random men you will never see again, yet you were having a blast.

the mans hands on your waist suddenly left and before you turn around to see what happened, you felt them back on your hips, moving your body to the music.

your eyes go to your best friend and see her now dancing with one of the guys from earlier and your head turns behind your shoulder to see the bleach blonde hair man.

"what are you doing here? where's the other guy?" you ask and pull away from his grasp. "well, you claim that i'm not chivalrous, but here i am, having a dance with you." you roll your eyes and cross your arms, "i'm done dancing, let's go [Y/B/F]."

the mysterious man grabs your arm in his big hand, staring straight into your eyes. "you will dance with me, then go upstairs later with my friends and i."

his eyes were a deep wine color which you thought was tacky and when he spoke you had a bored look on your face. "oh will i? because i don't think so."

he was stunned by your words and when you go to grab your friend she was clinging onto the other man. "[Y/N], i'm dancing with him, then going upstairs later."

your fight or flight kicked in and you grab her wrist so you could drag her away but the man held her tightly. "you will let her go with me, and you'll accompany hoshi later." again with the demanding with these guys, who do they think they are? at least you have a name to the bleach blonde hair man.

"i'm not accompanying anyone, and neither is she, we're leaving." your friend fights you off and gets closer to the man. "go home if you're going to be a downer [Y/N]."

you were offended your best friend trusted a stranger more than you, not knowing she was under a spell. "fine, i will, wear a condom perverts." (srsly guys, wear condoms: safe sex)

you storm out of the club, the music beat can only be heard from the outside and your steps were wobbly considering you were still drunk. "uber." you yell out to the air as if anyone could hear you.

hoshi follows close behind you and presses his lips together so he didn't laugh. "that's not how uber works, you actually have to use your phone." he reminds you and you nod, taking out the device in your pocket but everything was blurry.

"need a ride?" he finally asks after watching you struggle with your phone. "ew no, i know enough about you to know not to get in a vehicle with you." you were already a blunt person but it amplifies when you're drunk.

hoshi ignores your rudeness and steps infront of you, "can i see your eyes?" he asks and you look up at his wine eyes again. "let me take you home." he says in a serious manner and you start drunkingly giggling. "let me take you home." you mock then start walking down the street.

"why aren't you doing what i say?" hoshi was confused, no one in his many years on earth has ever disobeyed his commands. "because i'm a person with my own free will, sorry i don't fall for a handsome face like everyone else does."

he ponders scenarios in his head on how it could be possible for you to be immune to his orders, not realizing he's walking behind you. "can you stop following me?" you turn around, stopping him in his tracks.

"where do you live? you can't walk home this drunk." hoshi presses a button on his keys and a car alarm starts ringing. "my car is right there, let me take you."

you hum as you think and agree only because you lived 20 minutes away by car so if you walked it would take you about 7 hours to make it home.

his car looked like the batmobile from batman and when you got inside it, he drove off fast. it was such a thrill, especially with the windows down, "i feel like im flying." you yell and put your arms up. hoshi just laughed when he watched and his speed was so fast he made it to your home in 10 minutes.

you open the car door and hoshi grabs your wrist before you could get out. "i'm going to see you again, i hope." he gives you a smirk and you think about it. "perhaps... put your number in."

he does as you say, then let's go of your wrist. "see you around [Y/N], oh and i'll make sure your friend gets home safe."

"[Y/N], you're the most beautiful woman in this world." hoshi whispers in your ear, kissing your neck tenderly while he massages your breasts in his hands. "you're the most handsome man. i usually don't fall for men with faces like yours but there's something about you." you whisper back, unbuckling his belt buckle, and twirling your finger around his hard member under his boxers.

"fuck [Y/N]..." his moan sent electricity to your core, making your hips jolt up on him. "want me to fuck you?" he asks with a laugh and you nod, "yes please..."

your eyes shoot open when you hear a knock on your apartment door and realize hoshi in your bed was just a dream. "what a weird dream...." you whisper and fling yourself off the bed, opening your door to see your best friend standing there.

"you got home okay?" you ask and welcome her inside. "yes, minghao is so romantic, we spent the night together at my place last night." you cringe at the thought and put your hand up, "no details please. how are you up at 7 am with no hangover?" you raise an eyebrow, your head beating from drinking so much last night.

"minghao woke me up at 6 am and we got breakfast, i feel energized actually." you nod and plop on the couch, "i feel the opposite." she joins you and hands you a bag of donuts. "i brought you some."

you take it, grateful she thought of you, "i think i'm going to sleep more, i'll eat them later." your friend sits up and looks in your eyes, "come with me to minghao's house." she squints her eyes the same way hoshi did last night and you furrow your eyebrows. "i'm too tired, maybe later."

she sighed and pursed her lips, "he said that would work..."

"what would work?"

"oh-nothing, i can't say."

of course this enticed you more, knowing she was keeping a secret from you. "what would work?" you ask again and sit up, noticing her eyes darting away from you. "did you get contacts? they're the same shade as minghao and hoshi." you mumble and your friend bites her lip.

"can you keep a secret?" you scoff and take one of her hands, "of course you're my best friend.."

"they didn't say much... but minghao told me i was going to change from now on. also, he taught me a trick to get people to do whatever i want by looking into their eyes, but since it didn't work on you, i guess i cant do it."

you listen to her intently and stand, going to your bedroom to grab your phone.

[Y/N]: "come over... NOW!!"

you walk back in the livingroom and grab your friends hands, "we'll figure out what they did to you." you assure, giving her a hug.

5 minutes after you sent the text, hoshi knocks at the door and you answer with a hand on your hip. "you got here fast." he rubs the back of his neck and nervously laughs, "i was in the neighborhood."

you close the door after he walks in and lead him

to the couch, pushing him on it. "did minghao drug her last night?" hoshi looks at your friend and notices her eyes, putting his face in hands. "he's an idiot."

"either you tell me or i call the police." you threaten and hoshi stands up quickly, grabbing your phone. "the police won't help with this... we kind of control them."

"okay, then i'll call N.C.I.S." hoshi looks at you dumbfounded, "like the american tv show?" you clear your throat and nod, "i didn't think you knew that... i was trying to scare you."

"i'll talk to him about it, keep her inside, seriously, she can hurt someone." he mumbles and you scoff, "hurt someone???"

"fine... since she's changed, i might as well just tell you. she's a vampire." hoshi bluntly spills the truth and your jaw was on the floor. "i'm also a vampire."

[certainlynotasimp]

I had a thought seeing as how whipped Miguel is for sunny what if sunny has Miguel get them like a puppy or kitten because I know he would eventually cave in

To Love and Hold.

((Miguel O’ Hara X Female! Reader))

A/N: This man is whipped more than cream😭😭. Thank you for the request and I’m sorry if it sounds muddled because I literally fell asleep writing it and I just finished it this morning.

A/N: If you guys wanna read more about Sunny and Miggy then come on to the Masterlist! And if you wanna be added to the taglist, then please leave a comment here>><<. And thank you all for reading💕✨

Warnings: Grumpy x Sunshine, Barely any use of (Y/N) ((Sunny is their nickname, not there name)), Female Pronouns, Fluff, Comparing Babies to Pets ((please do not have a baby if you want a pet lol)), Baby talk, breeding kink? (This isn’t a smut, but I love giving Miggy ideas), slight nudity, and Google Translated Spanish (It was 3am by the time I wrote this and I felt bad for messaging people to double check this so please forgive any mistakes and correct me the in comments.)😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are some things that always remain the same for every dimension. No matter how small or advanced that dimension may be, there were three things that Miguel can think of that always remains the same.

There’s always a Spiderman or Spiderwoman.

New York is still a cesspool for crime

….

“Miggy, come look at the kitties!” an excited shrill breaks the man out of his thoughts. He scowls at the unwanted attention around him as he readjusts the baseball hat on his dark locks. Not having his spider suit engaged was an odd feeling, especially since they were in an unknown dimension looking for an anomaly that not even Lyla can find.

“Come on, Guapito!” She urges as Miguel glares at her for yelling out in a public place. He tugs at the collar of his crew neck as he saunters over to the bouncing woman. Her pink sundress makes her standout like a sore thumb as she gawks at the group of kittens in the window.

There were three orange tabbies exploring their surroundings and tussling amongst their glass prison. He can agree that all of them looked adorable, but seeing as he was never an animal person, he doesn’t understand the cooing his companion does towards the cats.

“We can’t keep wasting time window shopping, mi amor.” He quietly scolds her as he gently leads her away from the pet shop and starts walking her down the sidewalk. His eyes burned as he looked at the pavement beside him until he felt a small tug to his shirt.

Already running though all the things that might come out of her pretty glossed mouth, Miguel sighs and looks at her. “What is it, shortie?” He tries to tease, hoping she would get annoyed enough to just give him the silent treatment.

“Miggy,” She sings sweetly, already the itching feeling started in Miguel’s brain.

‘What does she want?’

“I was thinking…” Her voice hesitated as he feels her arm slither it’s way around his waist. The hand on the small of her back tenses up as her touch ignited tingles down his back. “Since I’m the only person who lives at the Lobby and I can’t live with you…

Here it comes,

“Can I have a cat?” She flutters her eyelashes up at him as she presses herself into his side. Miguel tugs down his baseball cap as he rolls his eyes.

“No.” He answers sternly as he tries to avoid eye contact by looking around them. Miguel is as stubborn as a mule. If he decided on something, then there’s barely enough room for anyone to even breathe a different way about it.

He admits that when it comes to his little spider, he lets some things slide that he knew he shouldn’t have, but normally her requests were doable. Not this one.

“But, Miggy, why not?” She whines as she glares up at him.

“Can we talk about this later, Cariño?” He growls as he notices the atmosphere around them changing. Before she could protest anymore, her Spidey senses hit her like a shotgun.

“Watch out!” She warns as a cat gets throw over a row of buildings, heading right towards them. Miguel grabs her waist and leaps on top the nearest building as the car takes out the sidewalk.

Both put a pin in their conversation as they suit up and go detain the anomaly villain.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Another sticky note falls onto the floor beside his feet as Peter looks up to his colleague, amused by the antics he’s enduring.

For the past week, Sunny hasn’t let go of the idea of having a cat. Miguel tried envading her pleas at first, trying to distract her with other topics and missions to worry about. When she caught onto that, she confronted him about it. Much to his misery, he had to be brutally honest with her about why she can’t just bring a cat to come live with her in The Lobby.

“Taking something from another dimension is already risky enough, but to take a living animal could cause serious anomalies that will cause a crash.” He tried to explain with a stern stare as his love looks at him.

“Do you know for certain that it will happen?” She quips with her head tilting slightly. Miguel raises an eyebrow before replying, “I mean, considering if we are just talking about a normal cat, then no I’m not certain, but…”

“So let’s try it!” “Oh santa madre de Cristo... Mi amor, por favor sé razonable…”

Now her tactic has been subliminally suggesting him with hidden messages. He wasn’t surprise when Peter picked up the sticky note and sees a little doodle of a cat playing with a ball of yarn.

“Aww that’s cute.” Peter admires as he examines the note. “I can’t wait for Mayday to get old enough so she can draw me little doodles like this.”

Miguel snatches the sticky not from him and throws it on the small pile he’s accumulated. This might be Mr. kitty 11 or 12 that his Sunny has hidden in his suit today.

“(Y/N) has been hiding them on me hoping I would get her a cat.” He admits as he slumps into his office chair. Normally, he would act like it wasn’t bothering if it was anyone else making a stupid request. But it wasn’t just anyone. It was his beloved. His beloved who was so tired of spending nights here alone that she desperately wanted a companion.

“Why can’t you get her one?” Peter nonchalantly says as he leans against the monitor’s desk. “There’s plenty of strays around my apartment that she can have a full range to pick out of.”

Miguel scowls at Peter’s ignorance as leans back in his chair. “Any small change to a dimension can cause it to implode on itself. I’m not risking an entire universe just for one cat.”

Miguel digs his finger into his eyes as he groans in frustration. He hated making her upset, but she should understand just as well as he does what the possible consequences they would face if he did go pick up a random cat.

Peter watches at him in amusement before commenting. “Why not go get one from one of those dying universes? Certainly it wouldn’t cause too much damage if it’s already going to shit there.”

Miguel rolls his eyes as he looks at Peter in annoyance. “There’s still risk of-“

Peter claps his hands as an idea sparks in his mind. “Oh, I know, you two can have a baby!”

Miguel freezes in place as a look of pure horror goes over his face. His skin turned pale at the thought about having a child.

“Can’t risk the universe being brought to the end if you make a baby. Besides it would help her deal with her loneliness by constantly having someone to take care of and it would be a more fun to-“ Peter’s reasoning gets interrupted by the sound of Miguel opening a portal and jumping through as Peter smirks victoriously.

“Worked like a charm.” He chuckles as he knows he just made his friend one happy lady.

~~~~~~~~~

“Cariño?” A soft knock interrupts the deep slumber of the curled up spider as she stirs awake. She yawns as she looks over towards the clock and realizes it was the equivalent of 3am in Miguel’s home world.

Another knock draws her attention back to the visitor as she slips out of bed. Her body shivers as she exposed to the cold air of the room. The old college shirt only stopping at mid thighs as she shuffled to the door.

“Miggy?” She calls through the door.

“Déjame entrar, mi amor. Tengo un regalo para ti.” He pleas lovingly at her which causes her lips to curl into a soft smile as she realizes what he must have.

Opening the door, she gasps at the sight before her. In his spider suit, Miguel had several scratch marks along his face along with pieces of rubble in his dark locks. His dark eyes shined in exhaustion as the furious little ball of fur battled to be free from his hold.

Her concern briefly switches to awe as she sees a small, filthy kitten hissing and wiggling in Miguel’s large hands. Its long fur stuck out in clumps due to the debris covering it as its black and white fur looked gray. Its yellow eyes glares up at Miguel as it cries for its mother.

With a wide grin, the woman takes the small kitten from Miguel and holds it to her chest. The kitten stopped it’s hissing for a moment as it push itself off of her chest to look at her. A curious tilt of its head along with a soft hello causes a tear to roll down her cheek. The bundle of fur relaxes into her chest with soft purs emitting from its fragile body.

“Mi amor…” She whispers as she looks up at him, “Thank you so much…can I really keep it?”

“He doesn’t really have any other option. His world was dying due to some invasion caused by the Talokians and since the universe was crashing away, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let you have the only survivor.” Miguel says nonchalantly as the conversation with Peter plays in his head again.

The idea of his little sunshine bare foot with swollen ankles as she roams around the Lobby and his apartment certainly was a conflicted vision. His clothing being the only thing that would fit over her body as she created their child in her body. Their child. Their family.

His thoughts get interrupted by the feeling of small hands dusting off debris off his shoulders. His eyes meet hers as he realizes that he’s been silent for a while. The kitten was now curled up on a soft looking blanket on the floor while his little spider tried to clean him up a little. Her soft lips connect several times to his jawline causing him to chuckle.

“You’re welcome, Cariño.” He mutters before leaning down and meeting her excited lips with his own. She giggles when he wraps his arms around her waist and picks her up as he closes the door behind him.

“Now then.” Miguel muses as his mouth curls into a warm grin while walking them to the bed. “You can show your gratitude by…” He pauses as his lips brush against hers again before a surprise squeal erupts from his love as she was tossed on the bed.

“Acostado ahí…” He mutters as he removes his gizmo, causing his suit to disintegrate, leaving him in only a tight pair of boxers. A blush forms on her cheek as she admires his muscular physique, despite the nasty bruises that mare his tanned skin. He smirks when he sees the effect hr has on her before crawling onto the bed. Her breath shudders as his broad shoulders slither up between her legs as his hips cause her legs to part.

Before she could react, Miguel lays his full body weight down on her as his head rests on her chest. His arms wrap around her waist as he buries his nose into her shirt as he yawns. His exhausted red eyes look up at her warm ones as he mutters against her clothed breast, “Y déjame dormir escuchando mi lindo corazoncito…¿Sería eso aceptable para ti, mi amor?”

Smiling softly down at him, his love’s arms wrap around his shoulders as a hand finds itself tangled in his thick locks of hair. “Of course, my love. It’s yours to listen to forever.”

With a soft kiss to his crown, the couple falls asleep in each other’s arms as their new kitten climbs up and curls up on Miguel’s back.

~~~~~~~

Translations:

ah maldita sea... mi vida, por favor se razonable…-ah fucking hell... my life, please be reasonable…

Déjame entrar, mi amor. Tengo un regalo para ti. -Let me in, mi amor. I have a gift for you.

Acostado ahí…-Laying there…

Y déjame dormir escuchando mi lindo corazoncito. - And let me sleep listening to my pretty little heart.

¿Sería eso aceptable para ti, mi amor? -would that be acceptable to you, my love?

~~~~~~~

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[ifortom]

Shrike - T.H.

Pairing: Royal Guard!Tom x Princess!Reader

Summary: A princess and a royal guard live a forbidden romance, hiding their feelings from the world. As they try to keep their love a secret, challenges and moral dilemmas test the strength of their relationship. Will true love triumph over conventions and royal expectations?

W/A: 5k

A/N: I know it's been a while and I'm about to post other stories but this one popped into my head and I had to get it out. Hope you like it.

"Do you ever think about what life would be like for us if things were different?"

"Honestly?" He stares at you. "No. Despite everything, I'm satisfied with what we have."

He mocks. "You mean doing everything in secret? Not being able to touch you in public? Or going out on dates? Not being able to talk about you with others?"

"I meant having our most intimate moments just for the two of us. Memories that will be ours alone." You say, intertwining your fingers with his. "Don't you find dates in the garden under the moonlight extremely romantic?"

"It would be if I weren't worrying about what might happen if they found out."

You move closer and settle into his lap, legs around his waist.

"Tommy, can we enjoy what we are experiencing now? At this moment I only see you and me. No one else."

His hands go to your waist, holding you close, while yours run through his hair.

"I can't imagine myself without you." He says with his mouth next to yours, breaths mixing and becoming one.

"Then don't." Slowly, you start moving your body, his hands on your waist guiding your movements. "I'm right here." And your mouths collide as you push him until he is lying completely on the blanket in the grass.

Your mouth travels to his neck, leaving marks along the way. Your hands now unbutton each button on his shirt. You feel his heavy breathing, his heart racing.

And you get lost in each other.

..............

"Why that face, mate? You seem too happy. What happened?" Harrison asked as they walked side by side to the meeting room.

"Nothing happened, what are you saying?"

"Nothing? Come on, Tom. We're heading toward a scolding for not keeping full guard time and you've got a smile on your face."

"No, I don't."

"Are you kidding me? I've known you since you were in diapers, you can't hide much from me" He snapped his fingers. "I bet you were with someone. Did you get laid?"

"Shut up, Haz."

"Ha! So that's it! Who was it? Who had the displeasure of spending the night with you?"

"Harisson…"

"Who was it? What was she like? Was it good?"

"Mate!”

"Or was she bad, that's why you don't want to talk? Did you go all the way?"

"For the love of God, Harrison, shut the fuck up." Tom stopped abruptly.

Harrison raised his arms in surrender.

"Tommy boy... I see you sneaking out at night, not to mention the times you ask me to change shifts." He rubs one of his hands over his face. "And I give you all my support but I would like to know why you have been risking your job, you know?"

Tom looked to the side, clenching his jaw.

"You're my friend, and I'm glad you seem happier too. I'm sorry I asked."

"I can't talk about it.” Tom says in a barely audible whisper. "I just…I can't."

"OK no problem." Harrison says turning his back to Tom and continuing down the path.

"Haz, I really can't, I'm sorry." Tom said following him.

"You don't have to apologize, Tom. And you don't even owe me an excuse. You do your thing and you tell me when you're ready. Just… be careful."

“It's not just about me. There’s other people… and I…”

"Gentlemen!" Tom and Harrison stopped and bowed before the queen's presence. “Why are they still here? The king is waiting for you."

"We are on our way, Your Majesty." Tom said.

"You will be part of a very special moment, but I will let the king do the honors of the news." She says, clasping her hands in front of her body. "Now go, we'll be there in a few minutes too."

And at that moment, Tom notices the presence of another person besides the queen and her faithful lady.

It was very rare for you not to express any kind of reaction to his presence. Tom was always greeted with a tempting look and a small smile. Carefully so that no one would notice that this small gesture meant more than just a small, polite greeting.

And Tom knew you well enough to understand that you weren't okay. Something serious happened or was about to happen that worried you.

Tom and Harrison bowed as the queen led the way towards the grand doors of the castle's main hall. You followed your mother's footsteps slowly, the two guards, the king's confidants, followed close behind.

Several thoughts were floating through his head at that moment. Did you regret it? Why did you go so far? Why did he get carried away so easily?

He should have stopped.

He should have stopped the moment you started seeing each other in secret. He should have stopped before the first kiss.

He should have stopped when he realized his feelings were bigger than just attraction. He should have stopped before realizing he loved you.

The hall doors opened for them. The king was sitting in one of the resting chairs in the center of the room. The small coffee table contained cups that released hot steam, two bodies rose from the padded sofa that surrounded it.

It was funny to think that this same environment could host more than a hundred people dancing and twirling in fancy clothes, and now it looked like any other room where people gathered to gossip and discuss mundane matters.

"Finally, my ladies. We have waited long for you." The king said stretching out his hand, calling the ladies to come closer to them. Tom and Harrison stopped a few feet away from the center, as did the queen's lady-in-waiting who stood between them.

"We're sorry, My King. We were just finishing getting ready. Y/N needed to prepare properly." The queen said, resting her hands on your back and positioning you in front.

"Not that it's really necessary. The princess is very beautiful." A sweet, unfamiliar female voice said as she bowed to Y/N who returned the gesture. The man next to the woman did the same. "It's a pleasure to meet you Your Highness."

The king finally looked beyond the two most beloved ladies of his court.

"Behold, my faithful squires. Come closer." The two guards approached and bowed before the king and his guests. "These are the lord and lady of Wintershire."

"Your Majesty!"

"These are Harrison and Thomas. They are my two best guards and accompany me in everything related to the kingdom." The king looked thoughtful and melancholy. "Thomas is the son of the great Holland. My best friend and the greatest of my warriors."

"Of course, I'm sorry for your loss." The unknown man said and Tom just nodded.

"It was such a loss, we all miss him." The king continued, his gaze fixed on Tom. "I'm glad Thomas followed in his father's footsteps, after all he grew up here and knows this place like no one else."

"We are grateful for your service, Thomas. You and Harrison are important at this time." The queen said.

"Good, now that everyone is here we can move on." The king announced, as Thomas and Harrison returned to where they were before, you and your mother sat down next to the family matriarch. You were facing him and Tom noticed your resistance to meeting his eyes, not even for a small second.

"Not everyone, Chris isn't here yet. I apologize for that, Your Majesty." The lord said.

"Don't worry, he was in the barn, getting to know his surroundings. I heard he's great at riding." The king pointed.

"Ah, yes! Our little Chris is almost like an athlete. He likes to play sports and ride. We raised him to be active as well as being very intelligent and helpful." The woman said.

"I'm sure he'll make a great husband." The queen said, resting her hands on yours that were in your lap. "A good man capable of taking care of a woman, who likes to take risks and is intelligent."

The world seemed to have stopped and Tom's breathing became quick and shallow. His hands, which were behind his back, wrapped around each other in an attempt to stabilize himself to what he had just heard. Husband. That was what this special moment was all about. A marriage agreement.

"I'm sure Chris will make the princess very happy. He's young and good. He still has a lot of life ahead of him." The man said. "I know we're his parents, but we raised him for this."

This means that this marriage agreement had existed for a long time. Even before anything starts between you. You had always been promised to someone and yet you surrendered to Tom and the fantasy you created together.

Tom’s eyes were fixed on you and your posture. But you refused to look up from your own hands.

"Of course, we believe so. But it is important that we know that this agreement is also political. Y/N in a few years will take the throne and we need a companion who will support her." The king interfered. "This is for the good of the kingdom."

"Yes, Your Majesty. We believe in the future of the kingdom just as we believe in Your Highness and the decisions she will make."

"It's important that they have heirs. The lineage needs to continue. We are happy to have been gifted with our sweet Y/N but the ideal is more than two children." The queen said and once again, Tom's heart screamed asking to be ripped out of his chest so he wouldn't feel anything anymore.

"Chris is a healthy young man and has regular medical care, I believe this will not be a problem." The lord said.

You, who hadn't said anything until now, finally slowly looked up. Your eyes focused on Tom and he noticed the sadness within them.

“I’m happy for what we’re going to build.” You said, looking at the couple sitting in front of you. "For the kingdom…"

The hall doors opened again and a man walked towards them.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I got a little lost on the way." He said as he bowed and sat down next to the couple.

"I'm glad you decided to join us." The king said using a sterner tone, one that Tom had heard many times.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. The castle is very beautiful and large, I got lost while looking at the paintings in the corridors."

"Let's stop it from happening again." The queen intervened. "I think we can end it here. Y/N, why don't you take Christopher to see our indoor garden?"

"That's a great idea. Harrison will accompany you." Tom didn't understand why the king didn't order him to come along but he wouldn't argue about it. Mainly due to the fact that he wasn't sure he could take a step without falling.

Christopher stood up and extended his hand towards you, which you delicately accepted. You walked to the door together, passing Tom. Harrison following you a few feet away.

The king got up, and walked to where Tom was.

"You're dismissed for today, Thomas. I want you to rest." He said resting his hand on Tom's arm.

And in that moment, Tom realized that the king knew. He knew something was going on between one of his guards and his sweet, delicate daughter.

And he was sorry for what had just happened. What he caused. Both to his own daughter and to the young man he had seen grow up to be a man.

Without a word, Tom turned and left the room. He knew how disrespectful the gesture had been, but nothing was going through his mind at that moment.

It was stupid to think that at some point your relationship would become real. Real to the world. Not just hidden and in the dark.

He knew the fantasy would come to an end, but now it all seemed so real.

He doesn't remember the path he took to his quarters. Tom let it be taken on automatic. The years spent in that same place and the route traveled so many times were already engraved in his memory.

Tom let himself take a deep breath when he was in his comfort space. His own room. A bad idea because everything inside reminded him of you.

From the sheets on the bed you've rolled around in together so many times to the desk in the corner with scribbled pieces of paper and books waiting to be finished.

Just like in his heart, you were present in any physical place he looked.

...

Your steps were silent and light. The floor was cold in direct contact with your bare feet. You never walked through this wing of the castle without telling Tom that you were on your way.

He always made sure the hallways were empty and no one accidentally bumped into you.

But the situation required a drastic measure and you hadn't seen Tom since the conversation in the main hall. It was not possible to communicate with him at any time during the day. And a lot needed to be said and clarified between you.

When you arrive in front of the familiar door, you hesitate. Your hand rises and closes into a fist, ready to make Tom aware of your presence.

Slowly, your hand comes into contact with the wood. Two beats with a long interval between them. He will know it's you.

It was long seconds or what felt like minutes before the door finally opened. Tom was already ready for bed. The white t-shirt and pants made it clear. He looked at you and his cold expression scared you. Despite his red, puffy eyes, Tom seemed expressionless.

"Your Highness, you shouldn't be here at this time." He said and the royal title he used startled you even more.

"I know I shouldn't come unannounced but… I haven't seen you since." You replied with a low voice.

"Want me to take you back to your quarters?" Tom rested his hands on the doorframe and looked around the hallway.

"What…no! I, Tom…we need to talk. I need you to listen to me."

"Your highness, please, it's late. You can't be here alone, and you need to warm up." He ran his eyes over your body covered in a thin coat that only covered your arms, your legs exposed.

"Stop saying that!" You cut him off.

"What?"

"Your Highness." You mocked.

"It's your title. It's what you are."

"No! You call me by my name, it's always been that way. Stop it." You answered. "Tom, please." You pleaded.

He let out a breath and entered the room again, leaving the door open for you to follow. You closed it and leaned back against it. Just like you had done so many times before, the only difference was that he wasn't the one pressing you against it. There was no heat, passion or lust. It was fear. Fear kept you away from him.

"Tom…I, I'm so sorry."

He clicked his tongue, letting out a sound of disapproval.

“What are you sorry about, Y/N?” The way he said your name gave you goosebumps.

"I didn't know…that they were coming today. Nor that my father planned for you to be there."

"So you're sorry I found out?"

"What? No! You think I wouldn't tell you? How could I keep this from you?" You spoke as you approached him.

"Well, you hid it Y/N. How long have you been promised to him? How long have you known about it? That he was coming?" He looked at you in disbelief, the pain in his eyes that filled with tears. "It felt like it was already done before you were even born."

"It wasn't certain that it would happen, my parents hadn't talked about it for a long time. And I thought they had given up, that I could choose what I want."

"You're so innocent, Y/N. Look at the world we live in! You know that would never happen. You don't seem to remember the stories they told us as kids." He laughed. "Don't you remember the exiled princess because she decided to follow her own path without following the rules?"

"That's just a story."

"It doesn't matter, Y/N. You have a duty to fulfill, for the kingdom. For what your ancestors built. Just as I have a duty to my father and everything he did for me. You have a kingdom to rule. And I have a queen to protect." He laughed mockingly, every word spoken filled with venom. Tom needed to push you away, for both of your sakes. "That's who we are, nothing more. You need to carry heirs. You need to live a long, happy life. With a partner and a big family."

Every word was a stab in your heart. You never thought about the possibility of heirs that weren't yours and Tom's. There is no one who could be the father of your children other than him.

And the thought of seeing you carrying another man's children destroyed Tom.

"No! Tom, stop!" Your hands went to your hair, tears running down your face without stopping. "Please."

"What hurts me is that you kept this from me… Y/N, we've been at this for years. You knew everything. Is this fair to me?"

Tom's hard, hurt look and the tears that started to roll down his face broke your heart even more. He walked towards you as you took steps back. Until you feel the surface of the table full of books.

Tom's face stopped inches from yours.

"Why did you do this to me? Why did you make me fall in love with you? While you knew this ending was inevitable?" His hand went up to your hair, touching it lightly. "Why did you let me touch you in ways no one else has?"

"Tommy…" You whispered, your hands held his white shirt tightly, as if you didn't want to let go. "I didn't mean to hurt you, you know that!"

"To be honest I knew it would end at some point, I knew I could never have you forever." You closed your eyes. "But I didn't think it would hurt this much, Y/N."

Tom's face got closer and closer to yours. His face wet with tears. His lips barely touched yours, his eyes locked on yours.

"You need to go rest, Your Highness. It's been a busy day." And with that he walked away completely, walking and creating a distance between you beyond the physical. It was Tom putting an end to everything you had lived together and everything you ever thought about planning.

"Tommy, no! Stop! I'm going to fix this, I'm going to fix everything. They're going to listen to me. I'm not going to marry someone else." You say between sobs. "I love you, Thomas. You're the one who matters to me."

Tom closed his eyes tightly upon hearing your confession. Finally hearing what he had wanted for years.

And you waited for his response but nothing came out. Tom continued looking at you without showing any reaction.

"I will escort you to your quarters, Your Highness." And his cold tone made you realize it was the end. He wouldn't give in anymore. He accepted that there was no other alternative to your relationship.

Tom wouldn't be able to continue a secret romantic relationship with you even if you begged. And he knew you wouldn't do that. How could he continue knowing that in the end, only the other man would be recognized as your partner? He couldn't handle knowing that you would kiss, sleep and live with someone else.

You are not a difficult person to like. A sweet and caring personality, full of life and smiles despite the difficulties faced. Tom knows that just spending a short time with you would make anyone fall in love, especially if you opened up and showed your true self. Not just the future queen of the court, with diplomatic thinking. But that side of you that is still maturing, along with teenage jokes and dreams.

Tom knows your potential, and he knows that you will become a brilliant queen. He knows that the future of the kingdom will be in good hands when the time comes.

He just hopes that the person next to you is able to take care of you in your most vulnerable moments. May he listen to you and support you, just as he tried and did several times during all these years.

Tom understands how aware you are of your role in this story. He knows that you will walk to triumph and that this moment is just heartbreak. But you will overcome. You were born for this.

You took a deep breath, seeking back your composure and that appearance of a person raised in a court.

"It's not necessary. I can go alone."

You walked quickly to the door but before opening it you turned and faced Tom once again.

"I just want you to know that I was willing to try. I was ready to face whatever it took to achieve what I want. I thought you knew me well enough to understand that."

Again, Tom said nothing. He just nodded and stared at the floor.

You turned around and opened the door, and to your surprise, another familiar guard was about to knock on wood. Harrison was startled by the abrupt manner that the door had been opened and his eyes widened as he realized what was happening.

The princess with red eyes and a wet face, in the middle of the night, wearing only a robe that covered her arms and in a guard's room.

His mouth opened and closed, as if he was trying to say something but couldn't form a sentence that made sense.

With no time for manners, you just took a step forward and Harrison understood that he needed to get out of the way. He gave you space to the side and you left Tom's quarters like a breeze, quick and light.

Harrison watched your form until you disappeared into one of the hallways. He looked into the room and saw his best friend with his posture hunched over and his eyes fixed on the floor.

And the pieces of the puzzle finally fell into place.

...

Two months had passed since the fateful day of the end. You and Tom only crossed paths sometimes and he accompanied your family when something needed to be resolved politically. Until now, Tom's work was focused on meeting the king's needs, but he knew that would change once you ascended the throne.

Nothing more was said between you. Unless it was something related to the kingdom. Tom realized that there was no longer any type of relationship between you that was not strictly related to the role that each played within the court.

He noticed how close you and Chris had become. Your future husband had come to spend some time at the palace so that he could begin to get used to it and understand how everything worked. You spent a lot of time together and Chris really wasn't a bad person. Despite always wanting to be pleasant, he has already imposed himself on some of your decisions and demonstrated relevant opinions.

And you weren't offended by his words. Maybe sharing the burden of the crown with someone who understood these difficulties wouldn't be so bad.

The wedding would take place in 6 months, and the entire palace was already preparing for the big event. Menus were being chosen, as were the flowers and fabrics that would be used in the decoration.

Surprisingly, you felt fine. The days were always full and you always experienced something or met someone new that made you forget your heartbreak. Tom was your first love and everything you experienced will always be alive in your heart, but you could survive it.

Tom was at the entrance to the castle, watching the different groups of guards preparing to take up their posts when he heard his name called.

"Hello, Thomas!"

He turned around and found Chris, with his black hair and tanned skin.

"Sir." Tom bowed.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" He stopped next to Tom and stared at the landscape. "I like this place, despite all the movement every day."

"You'll get used to it." Tom laughed softly.

Tom didn't harbor any resentment toward Christopher. He understands very well that it was not his choice. Neither of you had any choice in what you were living through now and he wouldn't blame anyone for his broken heart.

"I heard that… the king told me… that you will be going to Solastria." Chris hesitated.

Solastria was nothing more than court territory. It was a good few miles away from the palace and was the place where new guards were recruited and trained.

Tom decided that this would be his role in the story.

He would be responsible for introducing new guards to the palace. Strong and strategic warriors ready to defend the kingdom and the person he cared most about.

Tom can't deny that he's happy for you. Even though you seem fine, he knows that you have your moments and that it hasn't been easy for you. He notices this in the difficulty you have in maintaining a simple conversation with him or having minimal eye contact.

But you've been doing well. Both in the diplomatic tasks that the king has gradually passed on to you and in more personal matters such as marriage. He knew you could do it.

"Yes, I will be leaving in two days. They demanded my presence there."

"I bet the reason is because you're one of the best warriors around here." Chris laughed.

"They tend to fill my ego like that."

"Well, it's a shame you're leaving. I think I could learn a lot from you. But I understand! And I wish you luck." Chris said, resting a hand on Tom's shoulder.

"Thank you for that."

"But I have to ask…does she know?" Tom quickly turned to Chris. "The princess…does she know you’re leaving?"

Tom tried to look clueless. But Chris just laughed softly.

"She told me… about you. Strange isn't it? But what you don't know, Thomas, is that Y/N and I have known each other for a long time and have kept in touch." He took a deep breath. "She's my friend. A dear friend. I trust her and she trusts me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interfere in your relationship." Tom responded defensively, facing the courtyard again.

"It's not about that. We are fulfilling a duty, we were taught that way. Y/N is not the only one who was forced to abandon her dreams and plans for a perfect future." Chris swallowed hard. "I also left things behind, people. And I said goodbye to them. I ended a cycle. And I kept the memories."

Tom felt his eyes burn, but he wouldn't let the tears come down. Not in front of a stranger.

"I will do everything to make Y/N happy. Or at least to make her feel less alone. Whatever is in my power and whatever she allows me."

"Thank you. I appreciate it." Tom said, voice barely above a whisper.

"Make the right decision, Thomas. Don't wait to regret it later." Chris said and turned around walking away from Tom.

...

"What is your greatest desire?" You asked him as you rested on his bare chest.

"Hmm…" Tom pretended to think. "I want to defeat an ogre."

You clicked your tongue, laughing and patting his chest.

"I'm serious, Tommy!"

"I'm serious. Can you imagine? Captain Holland defeats a disgusting and grotesque ogre that was trying to ravage a small village within the kingdom's boundaries. I bet it would be a success"

"Oh yeah? And who do you intend to impress with an act of courage like that?"

"I don't know. Maybe the knights would respect me more… you know, stop asking me what I do to be so good." You laughed.

"You're very cocky, you know that?"

"Or else, I would impress beautiful maidens in search of true love with a charming warrior."

You feigned surprise after his words.

"So me being naked under your covers means nothing to you?"

"But you know what they say, maybe everything I needed most is right under my nose. So there's only one person I want to impress." He said as he squeezed your waist with one hand while the other supported his head from behind.

"You convinced me." The two of you laughed together.

Your fingers trailed down his exposed chest.

“My biggest wish is to do this forever.”

"Sweetheart, unfortunately our bodies have limits that need to be respected. But we can work around that with a few water breaks."

"Oh Thomas! Stop it." You propped yourself up on one elbow, your face now inches from his. "I meant you and me, together. Regardless of form and place. You are my greatest desire and a life by your side is my dream."

He smiled and placed one of his hands behind your head, pulling you close and finally finding your lips.

"Let's think about it tomorrow, okay? Right now it's just you and me." He said when he disconnected your lips.

Tom watched the palace doors close after he left, feeling like this would be the last time he would see this image.

He didn't say goodbye. He wouldn't have the courage to see your reaction when he told you that he was leaving and that there was nothing more to be done in that place.

Life in the palace was beautiful. He lived, learned and loved. And he wanted to keep the memories of this place untouched. Only the beautiful would be remembered, not the pain and sadness.

Tom would love you for eternity and even though he couldn't prove it by being by your side, he decided that he would continue to protect you, even from afar. Just as he swore to his father that he would follow in his footsteps and take care of the kingdom, he also made a promise to himself.

That would prevent any danger from crossing the border of that kingdom and no harm would come to the place you loved so much.

And you would be happy.

[merriepy]

DATING ACHERON!

•. Acheron x gn! Reader

tags: headcanon, fluff (+ small angst)

cw: /

summary: A few headcanons about what your relationship with Acheron would look like!

a/n: I'm currently experimenting with new layouts/formats so please don't mind the new look! No third person pronouns used for the reader

•. Acheron, an introverted and forgetful Galaxy Ranger who walks the cosmos on the path of Nihility. As her track intertwined with yours, she developed feelings long forgotten and buried - together with her distant memories of home.

•. Dating someone like Acheron would be quite an interesting experience. She's not your average romantic lover who showers you with kisses, but rather with hugs and gifts! Since she travels the cosmos a lot she knows that seeing you might be hard, since some destinations are too dangerous for you, or maybe you're not as nomadic and her and want to stay in one place. Acheron would 100% bring you little souvenirs that always align with your taste - whether it's new clothes that are rising in popularity on the planet she was just at or a little plushie of the regional animals. As for touches, I think she's someone who's just really casual about pda as in always holding your arm or waist, or leaning against you when she's exhausted. She loves to do that, her chin either resting on your shoulder or head depending on your height.

•. And of course, since she likes to spoil you, you'd do the same!! You'd always make sure to have peaches at home since it's her favourite food. When Acheron is actually home or you two get to rest during your travels, you'd always make sure to prepare peaches for her alongside breakfast to make her happy!

•. In return, Acheron would totally remember your favourite food and where to get the right ingredients for it. She even tried very hard to remember the way to your favourite takeout place, though she still gets lost from time to time. The embarrassment in her voice when she calls you, asking for you to pick her up and admitting that she wanted to treat you to a nice meal but doesn't know the way back home always makes you chuckle.

•. Acheron thinks a lot about your first meeting. She knows how she seems to others: cold, distant, maybe even dangerous. But you approached her, and gave her a chance. She would've never guessed you that two would become more than friends, and neither did you. But even after your first meeting where you two exchanged numbers you kept checking up on her, asking how she was doing, and offered so many times to be there for her if she needed someone to talk to. Of course, Acheron's struggles are far greater than that of average people and she was never completely honest with you about her backstory. She still isn't honest but how are you supposed to bring up something like her story? She just hopes you'll never hold it against her if you do figure it out eventually.

•. One thing she did tell you though was her actual name. You never wondered about it, if Acheron was her actual name or just a coverup. Even after she told you about it you felt weird to not call her Acheron anymore but rather Mei. You got around to it eventually and kept giving her nicknames like Mei-Mei, something she reacted very casually to.

•. I think domestic life with Acheron is chaotic. She isn't used to settling down anymore, not even for a short time. She'd also lose her belongings everywhere in the house because she forgot where she had put them. Cooking isn't one of her strengths as well but she's very willing to learn and she's actually able to become a great cook with enough practice!

•. She's really encouraging and always makes sure to tell you about how great you're doing and that she's proud of you. I think your relationship includes a lot of encouraging and praising from both sides (as it should be!).

•. Something you like to do that Acheron isn't aware of is to keep track of her make-up. She always carries it with her which sometimes leads to the makeup being damaged, so you like to replace or fix it, depending on the damage. She isn't aware that you're the one who replaces it: she thinks she did it herself but forgot.

•. Nights with her are beautiful, though not easy. She likes to get lost in your touch as the soft starlight illuminates the room, but her dreams are usually filled with terror - dreams of those who succumbed to her blade and of those who she couldn't save. Being with you doesn't get rid of the nightmares, as much as she would like to, but the comfort you give her is enough to calm down after the night has felt especially long.

•.Acheron, an introverted and forgetful Galaxy Ranger who walks the cosmos on the path of Nihility. As her track intertwined with yours, she developed feelings long forgotten and buried - together with her distant memories of home. But when she's with you, her heart feels lighter, the pain easier, and maybe - soon - she'll be able to heal under your grace before going on her last journey.•

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 15

Summary: Joel wakes up half naked in bed, foggy of what happened during the middle of the night. When he remembers, it makes Joel learn something about himself that he's not willing to accept just yet. Everyone shares their final day together in New York City and emotions are high when Joel begins to realize that he is confused with what he wants in life in terms of Negan and Y/N.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, Elizabeth, Peter, Maggie, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/156789391

Warnings: Swearing, angst, two men sharing some smuttiness on their own, dirty talk, heavy touching, did I mention angst? there is a lot of it, Joel is kind of mean in this (but he's going through things), etc.

Notes: If you have a problem with two men being together, I suggested avoiding the first scene in this chapter. I also want to stress that this is a story where someone is having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that they are bisexual due to some abusive situations that they experienced when they were younger. That could be triggering to some. This chapter is also VERY VERY LONG. Thanks for those that read the story! I appreciate all of you. I'm also sorry that this was put up so late. I was really busy yesterday and this was long so I needed the time to edit it properly.

Groaning out, Joel felt an overwhelming ache in his head. Burying his face deeper into his pillow, Joel tried to focus on something other than the pain. Everything hurt right now. Attempting to open his eyes, Joel realized that everything was a blur. Forcing his eyes closed, he hissed out and tried to get more comfortable. Every muscle in his body was fatigued. Even though Joel was used to having a very physical job, the last two days had worn him out.

Clinging to the cold sheets beneath him, Joel’s palms curled into a tight fist. Trying to focus, Joel couldn’t even pull together where he was right now. Struggling to open his eyes again, Joel grumbled under his breath and turned his head. Hell, his eyesight was still hazy. Focusing on what happened that led him here made him think about the bar. After he talked to Negan in the alleyway, Joel remembered going back in with Tommy. Truthfully? He drank a lot. Him, Tommy and Negan all seemed to drink extensively last night. People were buying Joel drinks and he wasn’t turning them down. And now he regretted it. Because that hangover was hitting him and it was hitting him hard.

Waiting a few minutes, Joel’s eyelashes fluttered to an open. Even though everything was still fuzzy, he forced himself to keep his eyes open. By the time everything came into focus for him, Joel could see that it was dark. For a moment? He forgot where he was.

Using the strength that he did have, he outstretched his arm to hit at the nightstand that was beside the bed that he was laying in. Amongst the dark, the vibrant red colored lights showed that it was four in the morning. What the fuck happened?

Gazing over his shoulder, Joel lifted his head up from the bed. And really? He didn’t do it very well. His eyes were narrowed and he was still unbelievably tired. Still, his eyes had a hard time focusing until he realized the large glass panel wall that was at the bottom of his bed. It was his room in the apartment that Negan had taken them to. Cussing to himself, Joel dropped his head back into the pillow and adjusted his body.

Starting to come to, Joel grunted when he realized that his lower half was cold. Lifting up just enough, Joel looked down between him and the bed. A slur of curse words fell from his lips when he finally realized he was naked below the waist. The sheets were hanging loosely at the bottom of his bare ass. Swiftly lowering back down to the bed, Joel was afraid to learn more.

Swallowing down hard, he squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to remember what the hell happened last night. The last thing he remembered fully? Having Y/N pull him out to dance with her at the bar. Even though he didn’t want to and he could barely stand on his feet. And while he wished like hell that he remembered the conversation, all he knew as that it was a serious one. That was really the last thing he could remember.

The warmth of an arm wrapping around his waist caused his whole body to tense up.

“Oh shit,” Joel stammered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. The weight of another body shifted behind him alerting him to the fact that he wasn’t alone. And that’s when the panic started to set in. Last night? Joel was very, very emotional about things. The alcohol likely didn’t help either.

Fuck, remembering the details of what happened took way too long. Why the fuck was he blanking in that moment?

Small flashes of memories were starting to come back. He remembered Y/N and Negan having to help him back to the apartment. Stumbling through the streets of New York at night. Even though he could barely stand he was singing in the somewhat still busy streets. It had Negan laughing, but something inside of him made him think that Y/N wasn’t too happy with him. Then again, he didn’t think she was happy with Negan either.

Then he remembered being sat down in the kitchen with Negan while Y/N made them coffee. Again, the discussion that all of them had was but a blur. He knew it had something to do with the three of them. But he didn’t remember what it was for or what the outcome of it was. All he knew was that things had been tense after he had almost been caught by Tommy with Negan in that alleyway.

That’s when it hit him.

Looking over his shoulder, Joel let out a strained breath when the small amount of light allowed him to see who was laying beside him. And that was Negan.

Dropping his head back down onto the pillow, Joel tried to recount everything that happened last night. Closing his eyes, he focused hard recalling that he stumbled his way up the stairs. Sat alone to himself in his room for a while. Letting his emotions run wild until Negan came up to his room. Joel had been sitting in one of the chairs by the window when Negan came in and asked to talk. Joel really didn’t give him an answer, he just allowed Negan to do what he wanted.

“I know that I’m probably one of the last people that you want to talk to right now,” Negan had commented, lowering himself down to the corner of Joel’s bed at the bottom. Staring out at Joel, Negan shrugged his shoulders and took a minute to think about what he wanted to say. “I’ve been thinking about this since we’ve talked. And I’m sorry. You’re right. I put you on the spot. And it was wrong. I would have been shitting my fucking pants if I was in your position too. I don’t care how big my sack is. I just didn’t tell you because I was fucking worried you wouldn’t come. Y’know?”

After Negan said that, Joel didn’t respond. Which made Negan nervous and he just continued to ramble continuously about why he did what he did. Explaining that he wanted Joel to be happy. That he wanted Joel to be able to live his dream. It was everything you would want to hear from someone that you trusted. But for some reason? Joel still stayed quiet about everything.

Beside Joel, Negan was also laying face down with his head buried in the pillow. Deep in sleep. It made Joel wonder how long he had been there like that. Taking a quick glance back at the nightstand, Joel’s eyes fell to a bottle of lube that was tipped over on its side. Suddenly his heart started to hammer in his chest. He wanted to blame the alcohol for being so out of it, but at the end of the day he was pretty sure that it was exhaustion that caused it. But now that he was starting to remember what happened with Negan it made him begin to get anxious.

After Negan did his extensive apology, he realized that Joel may have not been in the mood to forgive him so he went to get up. When Negan stood to leave, Joel stood up too. And the next thing he knew he was slamming Negan up against the glass panel window. Demanding a kiss from Negan like he had wanted to do in the alley before Tommy had interrupted them.

“Oh fuck,” Joel rolled over onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. Reaching up, he rubbed at his eyes and felt the sheets tugging at his hips. The room felt like it was spinning with his heart rate elevated.

A few hours ago? Joel had sex with Negan. And only Negan.

Licking his lips, Joel reached for the sheets again to pull them up slightly. Underneath, Negan was completely naked only confirming for Joel what had happened. Dropping the sheet back down, Joel swallowed down hard.

Maybe part of him was fired up about everything that happened. Maybe part of him was confused. But one thing he remembered thoroughly now was the kissing. It was hungry. Passionate. Forceful. Both of them fighting for dominance in the moment. He remembered the way that Negan touched him. How good it felt in the moment and how he wanted more of it.

More of it is exactly what he got. It could have been the liquid courage, but there was an eagerness for Joel to get his pants off. To let Negan have him. In ways he never expected to let another man have him.

When he closed his eyes, he could still remember what it felt like. How Negan went above and beyond to make him comfortable. Proving to Joel that Negan knew exactly what he was doing. What Joel expected to hurt actually felt good after getting over the hurdle of being nervous. Negan was meticulous with his fingers helping to prepare Joel and get him ready for what Joel desperately wanted. All the while making sure to keep Joel’s sounds muffled since they were on the second floor which was dangerous in itself.

He remembered allowing Negan to flip him over onto his stomach. How he enjoyed the way it felt when Negan entered him slowly giving Joel time to adjust to the way things felt. He could still hear the sounds of Negan’s muted moans in his ears, the smacks of Negan’s hips up against his ass with every move that their bodies made together. How Negan’s fingers hooked with his and Negan talked him through everything. Then he remembered having to bite his fist to keep himself from making a noise when he experienced his first prostate orgasm.

Wincing out, Joel’s eyes opened when he felt an ache straining at his body. Raising the sheets, he took notice of is semi-erect cock resting at his lower abdomen. Cussing out to himself, he dropped the sheet back down and threw his head into the pillow. Just thinking about it had him getting hard. What the fuck was he thinking?

Gazing over at Negan, Joel outstretched his fingers to touch Negan’s arm having him shift in the bed beside him. Joel’s breathing grew labored remembering that after Negan took Joel, he allowed Joel to have him afterwards. Unlike Negan, Joel was not as careful about things. Actually, he felt kind of bad remembering how he was. Rough. Powerful. Desperately wanting to chase the orgasm that was building up inside of him.

“Fuck, you have to stop,” Joel demanded of himself noticing that his body was getting way too worked up over the memories of what they had done. Everything had Joel’s body on fire, his heart hammering away inside of his chest. How the fuck was he going to explain this? Even to himself? There was no explanation really. Things just happened and he allowed them to happen.

With a loud exhale, Joel noticed that Negan’s long eyelashes started to flutter to an open. A rush of panic flooded Joel’s veins. What the fuck was he supposed to say after everything? This wasn’t a dream. This was very much a reality and Joel knew what they did, they couldn’t take back.  

“Are you okay?” Negan yawned, stretching his body out and getting more relaxed beside Joel. Placing his hand in over the center of Joel’s chest, Negan almost instinctively caressed at the lengths of his abdomen. What sounded like a moan that Joel was desperately trying to bite back on had Negan’s eyes fluttering to an open. “Did you just moan?”

“No,” Joel lied provoking Negan to reached for the sheets to lift them up to see Joel’s rock-solid erection that he was trying so hard not to get. Moving Negan’s wrist, Joel shifted in the bed and slid up into a seated position. Leaning back against the headboard, Joel grabbed the pillow that he had been laying on and covered his groin. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Negan rubbed at his tired eyes, rolling onto his back and licking his lips. “I mean if you want to go again, I’m kind of tired but…”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Joel announced, his voice broken and stammering. Tipping his head to the side, Negan’s hazel eyes narrowed when he began to realize that Joel appeared to be freaking out. “It shouldn’t be happening in the first place.”

“I mean yeah, you might be tired after the last few days, but your dick is like the energizer bunny. Which is fucking crazy because you sell yourself like this old man that can’t keep up with things, but…” Negan chuckled with Joel hushing him. Dramatically shrugging his shoulders, Negan rolled over onto his side with his hand stretching out beneath the sheets. Moaning out, Joel dropped his head back when Negan’s fingers curled around the rigid length of his manhood. Teasing the flesh over Joel’s tip and then back down again. Even though he knew he shouldn’t have, he actually liked the way Negan’s touch felt over his distended flesh. “Don’t feel ashamed of getting an erection. It’s impressive.”

“Yeah, but,” Joel started, licking his lips uneasily as he tipped his head back further against the headboard. Swallowing down hard, Joel felt Negan’s fingers pushing at the bottom of the shirt that he was wearing. When Negan’s mouth surrounded his nipple, Joel bit back the next moan that wanted to follow. With Negan’s tongue circling his nipple it had Joel’s back arching in closer to him. “What we did tonight…”

“Yeah?” Negan slurred, nipping faintly at the skin getting Joel to wince and suck in a large amount of air. “What about it?”

“I don’t know if it was okay,” Joel admitted, forcing himself to look down at Negan who simply just tipped his head back and smirked.

“Why wouldn’t it be okay?” Negan grumbled under his breath having Joel’s abdomen contracting with the way that Negan was touching him.

“Well,” Joel knew he should have been turning Negan away, but he couldn’t help but enjoy how good it all felt. “You’re a man.”

“I’m a what?” Negan chuckled, his nose wrinkling in amusement. Pulling his hand away from Joel’s body had Joel frowning, his hips desperately arching up wanting to experience that touch all over. Lifting the sheets up, Negan looked down at his body and then dramatically gasped. “Holy shit, you’re right. I am a man.”

“It’s not funny Negan,” Joel hushed Negan, waving his hand about in the air. Smacking at the back of Negan’s chest had the lines in Negan’s forehead growing deeper. What sounded like an amused wheeze escaped Negan’s throat and Joel just found himself getting more embarrassed. “I’m straight. I like women. What we did last night.”

“You’re not straight though because straight men don’t want another man to fuck them,” Negan declared, the vein at the side of his neck bulging slightly. “You’re bisexual Joel. And there is nothing wrong with it. I don’t understand why you are having such a hard time coming to terms with that.”

“Because I’m not…I didn’t think…” Joel couldn’t even form the words, dropping his head back again against the headboard. “I’ve only been with women. You’re the first guy I’ve slept with and I’ve never…”

“Had sex with another man. Yeah, you’ve told me. A lot,” Negan stressed to Joel, pulling himself up into a seated position beside Joel on the bed. Gazing over Joel, Negan cleared his throat and shook his head. “Why are you suddenly so worried about things? You’re the one that pushed for this. Are you hurt?”

“No. Well, not really,” Joel answered, his jaw flexing at the idea of what took place. “At least I don’t think so. I ache, but…”

“Which is bound to happen, but if you’re not in a lot of pain that’s good,” Negan was still trying to understand why Joel was so upset. Smirking, Negan lowered back down in the bed and laid down. Reaching up to rub at his eyes, he could hear Joel’s breathing growing louder.

“Are you in pain?” Joel whispered, his southern drawl incredibly deep with how quiet he was being. Repeating Negan’s question was probably stupid, but it was a thought in his mind.

“Hmmm?” Negan dropped his arms down at his side, his head turning on the pillow to stare out at Joel with his big eyes. “No Joel. I’m fine.”

“I was really rough with you,” Joel thought back to what it was like hearing the winces that Negan made with every thrust Joel did at the beginning.

“I’m resilient,” Negan grumbled under his breath, his fingers squeezing tightly around the sheets. Trying to force his eyes open, Negan shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not like I haven’t had someone pound my ass before Joel. It was your first time, not mine. I helped you prepare me, it was fine. You are the one I’m worried about.”

“Was your first like this?” Joel was very quiet in the way that he asked Negan about his first time. There was a curiosity to know more about Negan with men. Especially since Joel had never experienced things before with another man. Yet it seemed like Negan had multiple times. “Did you hook up with someone like you?”

“No, not at all,” Negan grumbled under his breath, his long abdomen stretching out drawing Joel’s eyes to it. Why was he all of a sudden so keen on watching Negan’s body like this? “I let Lucille peg me. I was always curious. So I let her do it to me. It was strangely thrilling and she got a power kink from it. So it was a success in that way. I think she liked that she took both of my virginities so to speak. Fucking thrilled her.”

“And she didn’t look at you differently after that?” Joel swallowed down hard, scoffing when he realized that he was holding the pillow that he had grabbed earlier in his arms. Moving it back to where it was, Joel noticed that Negan was smirking at him.

“She loved it. It gave her a sense of power,” Negan explained, thinking back on his past with his late wife. “Of course, she wasn’t a man so she had to get used to the whole thing, but the more we did it, the more comfortable it got for us. And the better she got at it. It really turned her on. Lucille was a very dominant woman.”

“And what about your first man?” Joel wondered, his chest tightening when Negan flashed him a big smile. It was obvious all of Joel’s questions were amusing him.

“I don’t know. Lucille and I broke up a few times. So I…experimented? I don’t remember it too well. It was a really long time ago,” Negan claimed, throwing his hand about in the air as he spoke. “You got lucky. You were with someone who knew what he was doing at least and how to take care of you.”

Turning toward Joel, Negan pushed up at the material of Joel’s shirt again leaving small, wet kisses over Joel’s abdomen. Wrapping his fingers back around Joel’s body had his dark eyes coming to a close and it made Negan smile, “You don’t have to be ashamed of feeling good Joel. It’s okay for you to open yourself up to feeling really fucking good.”

“What are we going to do though?” Joel searched for answers, his breathing growing broken while Negan pumped his hand over his length. Biting down on his bottom lip, Joel watched Negan’s other hand disappear beneath the sheets where he assumed he was jacking himself off too.

“Get you to come and then sleep?” Negan continued to pepper kisses at the length of Joel’s torso. A moment later Joel was grasping firmly to Negan’s jaw forcing him to tip his head back to meet Joel’s stare.

“With Y/N?” Joel stressed, his facial features showing just how conflicted he was about all of this. Clearly, he enjoyed what Negan was doing, but at the same time he was worried. “I love her. So much.”

“As do I,” Negan commented, his eyebrows furrowing and his head tipping in confusion. “We talked about this last night Joel. Where’s the problem?”

“We cheated,” Joel blurt out, wincing when he dropped his head to watch Negan’s movements under the sheet. An amused rumble escaped Negan’s throat when he turned his head toward Joel’s hand to press a kiss at Joel’s pulse point. “She’s never going to look at me the same when she knows.”

“Who are you talking about?” Negan grunted, his facial expressions making it obvious that he didn’t agree with Joel with the stuff that was spewing out of his mouth. Pulling his hand away from Joel again had Joel whining because he wasn’t ready for Negan to stop touching him. “We talked about this equals things yesterday. The three of us. Being open to being with each other. I’m okay with it. She’s okay with it. You’re just the remaining factor. And I thought by you doing this—it was your answer.”

“I don’t remember that discussion. I remember bits and pieces,” Joel confessed, wishing like hell that he did remember that conversation, but he didn’t. So while this may have comforted Negan? It didn’t exactly comfort Joel. Turning on the bed, Negan adjusted his positioning to give Joel his full attention. “You’re telling me that you’re okay with sharing her?”

“If it makes her happy, that’s all I want,” Negan admitted, his jaw flexing while explaining himself. “Sometimes the healthiest relationship is a poly relationship. When you love two people, you’re able to open yourself up to more. I’m okay with sharing both of you. I don’t see a problem in it. As long as it’s just the three of us?”

“You’re telling me that you’re going to go back to work and tell the people you’re working with that you’re fucking your ex-best friend and her ex-husband? And you think everyone is going to be okay with it?” Joel’s voice almost sounded condescending and it had Negan scoffing. “I don’t believe that Negan.”

“Well that’s unfortunate because I can assure you I don’t give a fuck about what other people think,” Negan asserted, adjusting his body allowing the sheets to pull further at his lap where they were wrinkled in a mess. Joel’s eyes dropped down, his throat going dry at the sight. Right now he should have been focusing on Negan, but his brain was thinking about how Negan barely had that sheet covering him. “People should honestly be jealous because I’m getting to fuck two hot people. And I really don’t care if people judge me for being in a bisexual relationship with another man.”

“I’m not bisexual,” Joel interrupted Negan evoking an eye roll from Negan who shook his head and stood up from the bed. “Negan, I’ve always thought I was attracted to women. I’ve never done this before and…”

“We both know that’s not true,” Negan scoffed lifting his head up to glare at Joel before looking back down to search for something. “You know, it’s completely okay to be fucking bisexual Joel. I’ve always been bisexual. I knew it my whole life. But I did have a preference for women. I’m pretty sure you’re the same exact way.”

“You’ve always been bisexual?” Joel scoffed, pulling himself to the edge of the bed watching Negan look for something. Negan nodded while reaching down to grab his shirt. “Y/N knew this?”

“Of course she did. I told her everything,” Negan repeated what he had already said multiple times to Joel. “I have always been honest with her. And I still am.”

“You said you didn’t tell her what I did,” Joel reminded Negan with a frown, his fears getting the worst of him. Dropping his hand at his side, Negan shook his head. His thick eyebrows bounced up and Joel knew that Negan was irritated.

“I didn’t fucking tell her Joel,” Negan assured him with a sense of annoyance in his tone. There was a visible doubt in Joel’s eyes with the line at the bridge of Joel’s nose becoming more prominent. With the topic of the woman they both loved, Negan threw his hands up in the air and shrugged. “Considering how happy you made her, it wasn’t worth it.”

“But if you told her, she would immediately pick you,” Joel suggested drawing out a long sigh from Negan. This was a conversation that Negan thought they were well over with. “You know I’m right.”

“You’re panicking for no reason,” Negan stammered, brushing his fingers through his messy hair. “Don’t panic. I didn’t tell her anything. I’m not gonna tell her anything. It was the past. What you did will remain in the past. What matters is right now. And right now she wants to move on. I want to move on. If you would get over this…I don’t even know what is going on with you right now, we’d be fucking fine. You could be happy. She could be happy. I could be happy. But instead, you’re fighting this brick wall you keep putting up.”

“Brick wall?” Joel repeated observing Negan looking for something on the floor again. “The hell are you looking for?”

“My pants!” Negan scoffed, causing Joel to gaze over the side of the bed. Beside him laid Negan’s pajama pants that he had come into his room with. Tossing them to Negan, Joel breathed loudly, his eyes watching Negan’s every movement. “I don’t know who you’re trying to fool more. Because right now, I’m pretty sure it’s yourself. You are so used to being fucking miserable that you aren’t allowing yourself the opportunity to be happy. This trio thing? It’s the best option here Joel. You get what you want. With both of us.”

Attempting to put on his pants, Negan winced when Joel moved quickly to shove him firmly against the glass panel again. Placing his hand firmly against Negan’s throat, Joel kept his strength locked in when he lowered his free hand to wrap his fingers around Negan’s semi-erect cock. Angrily their eyes locked when Joel tipped his head to the side, “You’re arrogant.”

“And you’re an idiot,” Negan grumbled, hissing out when the pressure at his neck grew stronger. Tipping his head back, Negan’s eyes came to a tight close with Joel working to jerk him off. There was a raspy moan that only partially escaped Negan because of the pressure on his neck and it had chills flooding through Joel’s body. Extending out his hand, Negan’s long, slender digits circled around Joel’s shaft. Putting a bit of pressure, he started to caress at Joel’s body matching the tempo that Joel set between them. Keeping up with the same strength, both of them were breathless. “You are a fucking mess.”

“And you need to learn to shut up,” Joel hissed, his forehead pressing forward to rest against Negan’s. With every touch, Joel’s hips bucked up toward Negan wanting to feel and reach that release that had been building up inside of him. Right now he was fighting very hard to stay quiet.

By the time both of them came, Negan’s face had gone red from the pressure of Joel choking him. Releasing his grasp, Joel’s head dropped against Negan’s shoulder and it had Joel panting, “You’re so fucking confusing. Are you straight? Or are you bisexual Joel? Do you want my cock or not?”

Stumbling back toward the bed, Joel dropped down and laid out across the top of it with his breathing loud and broken, “Are you going to tell her about what we did tonight?”

Joel seemed nervous at the idea while Negan took his time to gather his breathing, “Am I not allowed to? You know she’s not gonna have a problem with it.”

“I had a shitfit yesterday,” Joel admitted, licking his lips and looking up at the ceiling. There was a sense of guilt eating away at him with the way things had gone down. “I thought by the three of us hooking up, it meant she would eventually be picking me. That there was still a chance that she would choose me over you. When she told me that wasn’t possible, I got angry. I reckon she’ll be upset that I did this. She’ll think that I did this out of spite.”

“Joel,” Negan scoffed, rolling his eyes when he stumbled over toward the nightstand. Pulling out a few tissues, he worked to clean himself off before tossing the tissue box onto the center of Joel’s chest. “She already thought we fucked in the past. I don’t think she’s gonna care. In fact, I think the only thing that she will be fucking upset about is that she didn’t get to see it.”

“People aren’t going to be accepting of this Negan,” Joel panted, reaching for the tissue box to set them aside. “The children won’t understand. People won’t understand. The town we live in gets into everyone’s business.”

“What’s really the problem here Joel?” Negan started to work his clothes back on, grumbling something under his breath when he got his shirt down over his body. “You’re worried that people are gonna find out you like men, right?”

“I don’t like men,” Joel snapped at Negan, lifting his head up from the bed to stare out at him. There was anger in his eyes when Negan rolled his eyes and laughed once more. “I don’t.”

“You like me. You come fucking buckets when you’re near me. We both know how things were when we were younger,” Negan insisted, throwing the tissues away that he used to clean himself with.

“I don’t know what you’re insinuating,” Joel pushed up onto his hands, his chest rising and falling while he watched Negan pacing.

“I’m insinuating that you love Y/N, just like I do. And you want to fuck me, just like I want to fuck you. And maybe more emotions can come from this. When you attempt to trust me more and we can all…” Negan rambled on, getting a glare from Joel and he scoffed. “What do you want to happen here Joel? Do you want her to pick one or the other? Do you want her to be sad? Because as far as I can see. She loves both of us. If she picks you or me solo, she’s going to be upset. Are you really so worried about what people will think about you that you aren’t gonna allow yourself to be happy? Who cares what the people in town think? Given the opportunity y’know most of them would love to suck my cock. They might talk shit, but deep down it’d just be jealousy. And I don’t think Tommy would care.”

“I don’t even know how I feel about you,” Joel declared having Negan’s Adam’s apple bounce in his throat. Negan’s hands settled at his hips, his jaw flexing while he eyed over Joel. “It’s a lot to process. Going from women to…women and you. It just happened tonight Negan. You can’t expect me to think everything is going to fall into place.”

“Are you like this because of what happened with your dad when we were teenagers?” Negan blurt out getting Joel’s dark eyes to narrow at Negan when he turned to look at him. “Your dad was a Texas man through and through. Okay? I know you came from a religious family. And he freaked out when he found the two of us jerking off together watching what we were, but…”

“Stop, right now,” Joel demanded, standing up from the bed and reaching for his pants to pull them on. “This has nothing to do with my dad. You’re the one that had a shitty father Negan, not me. My dad did the best that he could and even though he wasn’t the best father, I know he meant well. He just wanted to raise me and Tommy right.”

“You’re second guessing everything because of how you feel for me,” Negan could tell by Joel’s breathing that he was angry with Negan bringing up his past. “You think because your dad called you that word that everyone is gonna see you that way, but who cares? Your mom and your dad have been gone a long time Joel. You can be who you are. Who we both know you are. I think your mom would have been okay with it.”

“I said enough,” Joel warned, his finger raising up to point at Negan who uncomfortably licked his lips. “Just because the two of us had sex doesn’t mean that you get to come around assuming things. You’ve been around here, what? A month? And suddenly you think you know everything. Newsflash Negan, you don’t know shit. My family loves you because you’re famous. You give them nice shiny things. My kids would like anyone famous that gave them things. And Tommy? He’s the same way. And Y/N? The reason she is so hooked on you is because you give her what she always wanted me to give her. But she’s still so hooked on me because I’m the love of her fucking life. Not you. I’m her soul mate. Not you. You’re just fun for the time being. Because she always comes back to me. I’ve been here for twenty years. You left. You had every opportunity to come back. But you spend a month with us and you think you can just walk into our lives and determine you know everything? You need to learn to shut your fucking mouth sometimes.”

Smirking, Negan dropped his head down and nodded his head about, “Yes Negan. You are so fucking good with making people feel good. You put on the charm and I reckon you get the pants off anyone. You’ve always been a charming son of a bitch. And that’s why people like you. You’re like a fucking drug. You look at a person and you just…”

“Careful, you might admit you have feelings for me and the gay might start coming out,” Negan warned wincing when Joel moved forward to shove him firmly against the wall. “Are you really having this shit fit because you want Y/N to yourself or is this because you don’t want people to call you gay Joel? Because the anger really comes out in you when I mention having feelings for men.”

“But you’re also poison,” Joel snarled, his voice growing darker when the color drained from Negan’s face. A silence fell between them with Joel shaking his head. “Yeah, you’re fun now. You’re going to be the good guy for as long as you can be. But then the poison is going to seep through. Like it has for every relationship that’s meant something to you.”

For the first time in a long time, Negan was silent, “You can pretend to be the good person for so long until the real you starts slipping through the cracks. The only person that you were ever perfect for was Y/N growing up. And she still picked me over you.”

“I’m sorry your dad was a raging narcissist and a homophobe Joel,” Negan finally shoved Joel away from him after taking it for so long. “Because it made you an asshole. Maybe if you stop keeping that side of him alive inside of you, you might actually allow yourself to be happy for once.”

“And you think you’re going to be the one to make me happy?” Joel scoffed, his eyes narrowing when Negan headed for the door to leave.

“I think if you continue to keep this up, you’re never gonna be happy Joel,” Negan frowned lowering his head down, considering his next comment. “When you finally give yourself the chance to be the person you want to be instead of the person the world forces you to be, I think you���re gonna be a much happier person. And I truly want that for you.”

Giving Negan one final glare, Joel rotated on his heel and went over to the bed to drop down on the side of it again, “You have the world right in front of you Joel. A world full of opportunities. And you’re shutting yourself down from it because you’re afraid of a word that your father called you when you were sixteen. Yeah, I know I’m not your dream here. I’m just an extra added bonus. But you love Y/N, maybe consider her for once instead of yourself. And you may find happiness in that.”

Refusing to lift his head, Joel felt the lump that grew at his throat that continue to stay there regardless of how many times he swallowed, “Goodnight Joel.”

And with that, Negan left his room. A tremoring breath escape his throat when he was finally alone to himself. Biting down on his bottom lip, Joel knew that he was being overwhelmed with so many emotions right now that they were too hard to comprehend. And he was going to have to figure out what to do with them. Because as of right now? He had no idea. And that scared him.  

----

Today was another busy day of walking around all of New York City while they tried to fit everything in on their last day. And right now? Joel was alone to himself sitting at the top of the red stairs in the middle of Times Square. Truthfully? This part of New York was hell for him. Everything was busy. There was no doubt about that, but being in the middle of Times Square? It was a once in a lifetime thing. This was not his favorite part of New York City and he never looked forward to coming back. To say he was uncomfortable would be an understatement.

Even though this wasn’t on his to-do list, this was a place that the children were eager to come to. They didn’t want to miss the opportunity to be here. Problem was? With it so close to Christmas, people were shopping. And they were last minute shopping. So that meant that people were rude and it was even more trafficked than it would have been on an average day.

Peter had finagled his mother into taking him to get some donuts. Negan and Elizabeth were checking out something that she wanted to see. And Tommy was in the middle of everything taking a shit load of photos with Maria. Eating it all up.

After Negan left his room last night, Joel couldn’t sleep. His mind was running wild and it was hard to get a brain like that to relax. So that meant he had a lot of coffee today to keep him going. But the number one thing Joel noticed this afternoon when he checked his phone? Just how many e-mails he had received that was linked to his business. Part of him didn’t understand what the hell was going on. Maybe he had been hacked or spammed. So that’s when he decided to look into things. Doing a google search on Negan’s name led him to the most recent articles that were written about him. What came up surprised the hell out of Joel. Because of what happened over the last two days, hundreds of articles appeared to be written about Negan.

Where it seemed to have started was after the day they did that piano playing moment at the toy store. Originally, it seemed to just start off as videos that people posted. Joel knew that people had recorded them and taken photos when they were doing it, but he didn’t expect people to post the videos. Nor did he expect them to go viral like they did. Going through the videos, Joel noticed that a lot of people were making comments about him. Some of them were smart ass people who had to make negative comments. Others were talking about how hot both him and Negan were.

But then came the articles that were written. Some of the paparazzi sites were talking about Negan and how they had obviously picked up on the fact that he was dating Y/N. At this point? She was nameless, but Joel figured that wouldn’t last because people had his name. It wouldn’t take long to do a search on him to realize that he was Y/N’s ex-husband.

Even though he knew it was against his better judgement, Joel couldn’t help but keep looking at these things that he found. Reading the articles about how sexy it was that Negan was dating someone that was unknown. People were saying that Negan was a trendsetter because more people should be dating single mothers. And the thing that infuriated him the most? Those stupid assholes who were making comments assuming that Elizabeth and Peter were Negan’s secret children that he had kept hidden until the end of his career. But deep down Joel knew they were just stupid, trash articles that people were creating in order to draw clicks.

After what Negan did last night for Joel? It ended up everywhere as well too. People showing Negan introducing Joel, but also keeping the cameras rolling to record his performance. And because of that people were writing Joel endlessly at that e-mail. His name had gotten out and obviously people had gone searching for him. The internet moved fast. So that meant he was being sent job offers, e-mails that had nothing to do with his work and people just wanting to interview him to talk to him about Negan. It was infuriating to go through and on his phone it was impossible to fix.

For once in Joel’s life, he was getting a ton of attention. It was the one thing that Joel had wanted more than anything growing up, but today? He found it more so annoying than something he wanted.

After his discussion with Negan last night, this was exactly why he didn’t feel comfortable letting the world know that the three of them could potentially be together. The whole world would know. And they would know almost immediately.

There was part of him that wanted to show Y/N all the articles. Let her know that her face was plastered all over the internet and news channels with people speculating on her relationship with Negan. Some people thought she was a hidden lover. Others thought she was a gold digger. Jealous fans were making nasty comments about her in general. Negan was a hot commodity and people were digging their nails into whatever gossip they could get. This was the thing he was never comfortable with when it came to Negan. All the attention that came with being around Negan. It could be good, but there were also incredible amounts of bad.

“You are surrounded by the prettiest things and yet your nose deep in your phone,” Elizabeth’s voice lured Joel into looking up and gazing over at her with a weak smile. Slowly making her way up the steps had Joel lowering his phone into his lap. “Who are you and what have you done with my father who hates cell phones?”

“The prettiest thing in the world is sitting right now next to me,” Joel flashed a cheesy smile as Elizabeth took a seat beside him. Placing her hand over the center of her chest, Elizabeth played it off like she was touched by her father’s comment.

“Oh, that was good dad,” she admitted, her face scrunching up when she let out an amused sound. Patting her father on the chest, she got more comfortable beside him and sighed. “That was real good. Warmed my heart. Real smooth.”

“It was honest Ellie,” Joel swore, reaching out to wrap his arm around her shoulders. Shoving his phone back into his pocket, he didn’t want to focus on things like that when he should be spending these moments with his daughter. “Nothing else compares to you.”

“There’s a reason I love you as much as I do,” she slid in closer to Joel having him wrap his arms firmly around her to cuddle in next to her. Where they were at, they were in the middle of all the craziness. With Christmas days away, in the middle of Times Square, it was insanity. Growing up, Joel came to love and embrace the quiet life. Here, things were too damn busy with so many people. “Are you doing okay?”

“I’m great,” Joel was quick to respond with Elizabeth pulling back just enough to stare up at him with her dark eyes. Her dimples were visible with the way her eyes narrowed at him. Okay. So that was a lie she no question just picked up on. “What?”

“You’ve been acting weird,” she noted letting her father in on the fact that she wasn’t oblivious to the way that things were. “Especially on this trip. I wish you would be honest with me about things. I know I’m your daughter, but I’m also not far from being an adult. You can talk to me about things.”

“It’s hard for me to acknowledge that you are close to being an adult,” Joel confessed, cringing at the thought of his daughter turning eighteen soon. “I still remember you being a baby, so tiny in my arms. Counting on me to take care of you. It’s hard to think about you being all grown up.”

“You’re being sweet, but changing the subject,” she lowered her head back to Joel’s shoulder to rest her head against it. “We’ve always been really close you know.”

“And I hope we stay that way,” Joel stated with a sigh, his arm loosely hooking around her lower back while he sat with her. “Because I love you, very much.”

“And I love you too,” she assured him with a long sigh. Together they sat in silence until she finally spoke up again. “You’re upset about mom and Negan, right?”

“That’s not really something I should be talking to you about,” Joel admitted, his brow line creasing while considering the question. Although, that probably answered her question without answering it.

“I’m not blind dad. I can see that Negan and mom being together is bothering you,” she pointed out with Joel cuddling her in closer to him with the cool chill that was around them. With them sitting there, it had only just started to snow again and it had Joel huffing out. “And I understand because I always thought you and mom would get back together.”

“Children always want their parents together,” Joel commented and it made Elizabeth scoff. Glancing over at Joel with her eyebrows furrowed made Joel shrug. “They do.”

“Lydia couldn’t wait for her parents to split,” Elizabeth recalled how her friend felt about her own mother. “She couldn’t wait to be with her dad and get away from her mother.”

“Her mother was insane. That’s different,” Joel countered with a grunt remembering the stories that he heard when Lydia moved to town with her father. “I don’t think we are ever going to get back together Ellie, so don’t hold out your hopes for something that may never happen.”

“So you are upset about mom and Negan,” she gathered reaching out to hook her fingers with her father’s. Staring out into the crowd, she couldn’t spot Tommy with Maria nor her mother with Negan and Peter. “Did you tell mom?”

“I think your mom is well aware,” Joel was quiet in the way he said it, being honest but not fully forthcoming. It would be completely inappropriate for him to vent to his teenage daughter about the things he was feeling right now. “I was just too late with things to get back with your mom.”

“So you regret that you two got divorced?” Elizabeth lifted her head to lock eyes with Joel. It looked like he was having conflicting thoughts of what to say or do. So he just nodded his head once and swallowed down hard. That was something Joel had thought about a lot over the last few months. How much he wished he would have just seen someone for help instead of letting his life fall to shit. What he thought he wanted back then was just wrong. And he wished that he had never done it. “I never understood why mom agreed to it.”

“I didn’t allow her the option to say no,” Joel mumbled, his chest aching at the memories of their past. Recently she had stressed to him how the children blamed her for everything and by the children’s comments lately? He realized that Y/N was right. And that was sad because all of this was Joel’s fault. Not hers. “I was going through some things. I was really depressed. I thought it was your mother’s fault and I blamed a lot of things on her. I was just going through a phase and didn’t realize the mistake that I was making.”

“Peter and I were really mad at her for a while,” Elizabeth recalled how they were toward Y/N when their parents first split. “We never understood. When it was the four of us, we were all so happy. And then when night came, we always heard the two of you fighting. Then the night you left…we came to the stairs right before you left. She was sobbing and we heard her scream at you to leave. We always thought it was her fault for not fighting hard enough for you.”

“Your mom fought harder for me than anyone ever did,” Joel reasoned with his daughter, squeezing his fingers tighter around hers. “I was just too blind to see it. I should have seen someone about the depression that I was having, but I confused it with other emotions.”

“Did we really depress you that much?” Elizabeth put the blame on her which had Joel’s heart breaking. “I never really thought it was that bad.”

“It wasn’t you that depressed me Ellie. You and your brother are the only things in this world that I’ve done right,” Joel declared, using his free hand to place it in over his chest. Giving her a weak smile, he squeezed his arm around her to give her a half hug. “I’ve never loved something as much as I love the two of you. I never blamed the two of you for things because you were the only things keeping me here. The things that kept me fighting every single day.”

“You know how much I love you, right?” Elizabeth stammered, evoking a nod from her father.

“I will never turn away hearing it,” Joel insisted glad that he still had this relationship with his daughter because at the end of the day the children meant everything to him. “And I love you so very much. More than anything.”

A grunt escaped Joel followed by a laugh with her arms wrapping around his mid-section to squeeze him close. Appreciating the moment, Joel knew that this would probably be his favorite part of visiting Times Square.

“I wasn’t exactly comfortable with Negan and mom dating at first either,” Elizabeth spilled after releasing him, shifting beside her father to pull her jacket in closer to her body. “It’s kind of weird having your mom dating your celebrity crush that you’ve liked since you were a kid. You two probably should have told me how close mom and him actually were when they were younger. It might have swayed me from liking him as much as I did.”

“I never thought I’d see him again,” Joel grunted with a wrinkle of his nose finding himself still creeped out by the idea that she did have as much of a crush on Negan as she did. “I thought it was innocent. Although, I did tell you for years it was really uncomfortable with you having a crush on a man that was my age.”

This really had to be strange for Elizabeth and it wasn’t something that Joel really thought about. It was an odd place to be put in having your celebrity crush suddenly dating your mother and being around all the time. Then again, if she knew that Negan had slept with both him and Y/N? Well, he could only imagine how she’d feel.

“You don’t still crush on him, do you?” Joel was almost afraid to ask, but he was thankful for the disgusted face that she made.

“It’s kind of creepy thinking about it to be honest with you dad,” she stressed how she felt, waving her free hand about. “I try to forget that I crushed on him as much as I did. He’s cute. He’s nice. And I see why mom likes him, but he gives off such…dad vibes.”

Dad vibes? That wasn’t really the thing that Joel wanted to hear because he was her father. Not Negan. But then again, he was glad that the idea of Negan not being her crush anymore was a plus.

“Negan is really good with us. And he doesn’t look at me like that. It’s like he already stepped into the role of stepdad and he’s…he’s good at it,” Elizabeth continued which only further boiled Joel’s blood at the thought. “I think I was more attracted to the idea of Negan than actually him. Because now when I look at him, he’s more like a soft teddy bear than what I pictured.”

“What did you picture?” Joel wondered, his eyebrow arching in curiosity with the way that his daughter’s face reddened over.

“I don’t think I want to talk about that. Let’s just say that I’ve had to burn a lot of memories, thoughts and feelings in this brain over the last month,” she hissed in an uncomfortable breath, lifting her fingers to point at her temple.

“Dear God,” Joel lowered his head into his other hand and knew this was all so fucking complicated. Of course almost everyone in his family had to be attracted to Negan. This wasn’t Elizabeth’s fault. Being attracted to Negan ran in her blood. “He is charming.”

“Sorry?” she spoke with a smirk having Joel lift his head to gaze out at her. Maybe that was bad to say out loud. No, that wasn’t a maybe. That was bad. His thoughts on Negan should have been kept to himself. “You think he’s charming? I thought you hated him.”

“I do, but I don’t,” Joel didn’t know how to explain it to her. Hell, he didn’t even know how he felt about Negan. There was a side of him that hated Negan with every part of him. But then there was that side that fought so hard to come out that felt something very strong for Negan that he couldn’t explain. And that’s the side of him that confused him the most. But that wasn’t something he was going to tell Elizabeth. “It’s complicated. And I don’t think I should say much more than that.”

“I think you should talk to mom,” Elizabeth brought back their previous conversation having Joel’s jaw flex in frustration. What his children didn’t know was just how hard Joel was really trying to get back with their mother and how many times he had been turned down. “It might not be too late for something between you two.”

“I’ve talked to your mom,” Joel responded with a frown, shaking his head when he spoke. “She knows how I feel, but you see the way she looks at Negan. She’s happy. He makes her happy. The slate is clean with Negan.”

“I…” she started, stopping when Joel looked to her with his saddened brown eyes. Resting her head against his shoulder again had Joel resting his head on top of hers. “I’m sorry.”

Even Elizabeth in that moment could agree that he wasn’t wrong about Negan and Y/N’s relationship with him. He wished he could have moved faster. That he could have done something. But there was nothing that could be done.

At the bottom of the steps, it was then that Joel noticed that Y/N was taking photos of him and Elizabeth together, “Speak of your mother…”

“What?” she lifted her head to see that her mom was standing at the bottom corner of the steps taking photos of them. Rolling her eyes, she looked to Joel and there was a smirk over her young features. “She’s making use of that camera of hers after all these years.”

Getting up from where they were seated, Joel helped Elizabeth move down the steps making sure that she wouldn’t slip. Once they were back on the ground, Elizabeth went to her mother to give her a big hug. Joel was slow walking over to them.

“Where’s Negan?” Joel looked around noticing that neither Peter nor Negan were around.

“A few people stopped him back there somewhere and Peter offered to take their photos for them,” she waved her fingers back behind her with Joel rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Why did that not surprise him? Of course people were jumping on Negan and Negan was going to eat up that attention. “You two looked cute up there.”

“Hey!” a voice boasted causing them to jump only to notice that it was Peter running up to them. “We’re going to go the Hershey’s store!”

“That’s exactly what you need. More sugar,” Joel teased his son, reaching out to stroke his fingers throughout his messy hair. “Didn’t you just eat a donut?”

“I did, but I counter you this,” Peter held his finger up in the air dramatically, his dimples much more visible now that he was being silly with his dad. “I need some for when we go home. A stash if you will.”

“Oh, I see,” Joel snorted noticing that Negan was headed back to be with them. Instead of looking at Negan, Joel hooked his arm around Peter and grumbled something to himself. “Where’s Tommy?”

“I think he said he would call me when they were headed back here. Him and Maria wanted to walk around on their own,” Y/N answered him tipping her head back to press a quit kiss over Negan’s lips when he returned. With a nod of her head, she motioned all of them toward the Hershey’s store with Joel walking with Peter.

Since they had been with Negan, Joel was extremely paranoid. After discovering those articles, videos and photos Joel couldn’t stop thinking about them. There were so many cameras in Times Square but a lot of the time he thought he’d see people taking photos of them. Which annoyed the hell out of him. There were probably those that were taking photos of Negan, but his family being in those photos? That really didn’t work well with him.

Inside the store, Peter made immediately for the shakes area interested in getting one. Joel pulled Elizabeth with them since he was still kind of protective of her. Joel opted out on getting one for himself because his stomach was just not in it right now.

Looking around while they were waiting for their shakes, Joel noticed Y/N and Negan at the other end of the store whispering to each other. They were smiling and laughing which had Joel’s insides turning. When they started kissing, Joel felt his heart rate quicken inside of his chest. It was then he noticed not too far outside of the window there was someone taking photos of Negan with Y/N.

“Hey, can you watch your brother for a second?” Joel requested, side stepping away from his children. Yeah, it probably wasn’t the best move as a father to do this, but he felt a sense of rage flooding his veins. “I’ll be right back. Okay?”

“Everything alright?” Elizabeth seemed worried with Joel heading toward the entrance of the store.

Instead of answering, he was quick to make his way out. They did have someone following them. It looked like a skeezy paparazzi photographer and it infuriated Joel. Thinking of the best way to do this, Joel pulled his jacket in closer to him and started walking fast. It was a busy place, it would make sense if someone ran into another person in the middle of Times Square.

As the photographer lined up another shot, Joel put his head down using his shoulder to plow into the guy knocking him to the ground hard. Just in time Joel was able to catch the camera. With the man on the ground, Joel took advantage looking through the photos realizing that they had been being followed all morning. With quick hands, Joel managed to get the memory card out of the camera and curled his fingers around it.

“Man, you need to learn to be careful. You could have broken this,” Joel handed the camera back to the guy once he started moving. Keeping his head down, Joel did his best to hide who he was with him heading back into the store. Once he got back inside the store, in the distance he could see that Elizabeth and Peter were seated talking to one another while they had their milkshakes. With a huff, Joel pushed the memory card into his back pocket and felt like his face was on fire. There were photos of his children from what he saw on there and that pissed him off. The guy was lucky all he had done was knocked him over.

Right now, more than anything he needed a moment to calm down which had him catching his breath in one of the aisles in front of a shelf with gigantic chocolate bars. Scoffing, he reached out to pick it up reading that it was five pounds of chocolate.

“I bet you could eat that all in one day with your sweet tooth,” Joel heard a whisper in his ear having his eyebrow arch and he looked back over his shoulder to see that Y/N was smiling big behind him. With a shake of his head, Joel put it back down and turned on his heel toward her. “You’re not going to get it?”

“I only have a sweet tooth when it comes to your food,” Joel declared, pushing his hands into his pockets letting out a long exhale. “People don’t make things like you do.”

“Is that what it is?” she smirked, reaching to straighten out his heavy, brown winter jacket. There was a moment of silence between them with her frowning. “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me a little bit today.”

“I have been,” Joel responded with a shrug of his shoulders surprising her with his honesty. After last night Joel was confused. And then finding out all the information he did that was on the internet? It was just hard not to vent about Negan and the negatives that came with being with Negan. “I really wanted to stay away from both you and Negan today.”

“Oh,” she thought about what he said, her face twisting with confusion. He could tell that it upset her. There was color that flooded into her face. “Why? Is this about what happened with Negan last night?”

“Of course he told you,” Joel wasn’t surprised to hear that since Negan did pretty much tell him that he would be telling Y/N everything. Pinching at the bridge of his nose, Joel felt frustrated. He really wished it could have been told to Y/N on his terms. “That’s not the only reason.”

“What’s going on?” she seemed genuinely worried and when she reached for Joel’s hand, he pulled it from her and shook his head. This wasn’t what she was expecting from him. That was for certain. “Talk to me.”

“Not in the middle of the store,” Joel refused, throwing his hand up to bring attention to all the people that were around them. What they needed was to talk. Alone. That’s what they had needed for a very long time, but they hadn’t had the opportunity. “Now really isn’t the time for the two of us to have a full-on discussion about things.”

“Okay,” she didn’t fight him on it because she didn’t want to upset him any further than he clearly already was. Motioning toward the children, Joel left Y/N standing where she was wanting to just focus on spending time with the children right now.

After Joel blew her off, she looked sad, but Joel realized he was probably just reading too much into things. So he avoided it. He spent time with the children. Did what a dad should. Focused on them. They were in Times Square longer than he wanted to be. After their shopping, they walked back to the apartment to drop things off. Then they went walking around again sightseeing.

They stopped in at the St Patrick’s Cathedral which Negan insisted was an absolute must for Joel to see with his contractor background. Y/N and the kids went to sit down, but Joel was uncomfortable so he walked the outskirts looking at the church. Christmas decorations donned the place and Negan was right, this was a stunning location.

“In the summer we should plan a longer trip,” Negan’s whisper pressed in beside him with Joel tensing up. “We can hit up more things. Three days never really feels like enough, does it?”

“You’ll be doing baseball,” Joel reminded Negan who tipped his head from side to side. It sounded like a nice idea, but Joel was a sports fan. He knew the schedule that baseball had. There was no way that Negan would be able to pull that kind of shit off. Unless he didn’t sleep and care to rest. “Hard to make time for things when you’re going to be busy with your job.”

“You guys can come with me when I go to certain cities,” Negan offered, pushing his hands into his pockets with Joel looking around the church. “Spring training is in Fort Myers. It’s about three hours from Orlando. The family can come down and we can all go to Disney World together. I think it would be fun. You’d be surprised how much fun it actually still is even as an adult. It brings out the kid in you and…”

“The kids have school,” Joel scoffed with a shake of his head. Once again Negan was trying way too fucking hard. “They can’t just up and leave whenever they want to.”

“Spring break,” Negan stammered with a weak smile, throwing his right hand up in the air. Somehow, Negan had a response to everything. “Don’t you want to go to the beach? Get some sand between your toes? Have that saltwater touch your skin? We can get you out of all these clothes and get you into a bathing suit…I think you’d look good in a pair of trunks.”

“Enough,” Joel warned Negan who was eyeing Joel over with a smirk. Having Negan so blatantly flirting with him in public felt crazy to Joel. Especially since they were in the middle of a busy church. “How are you even comfortable being anywhere near me right now in…this place? After last night.”

“The church?” Negan snorted, his brow line furrowing with Joel giving him attitude. “What? You think the two of us are going to be set ablaze the moment we step inside of a church? If that was the case, everyone would probably be on fire in here right now.”

“We’re not together Negan,” Joel made it clear for Negan who tipped his head to the side. Even though something happened last night, there were a lot of negative emotions that Joel had toward him. Especially after what he had seen this morning with Negan being in the news and all this attention being brought on him and his family. “I’m not even comfortable with what happened last night. Acting like we’re all one big, happy family that is going to take trips together all the time is just…weird.”

“Why is it weird?” Negan pushed, his eyes narrowing when he stepped in closer to make their conversation quieter. “It’s bad that I want to be close to you and your family?”

Letting out an extended sigh, Joel folded his arms in front of his chest and didn’t even know what to say. Stepping forward, Negan whispered in Joel’s ear so only he could hear, “How are you uncomfortable with last night when you came as much as you did those three times? You’re the one that wanted it. And you sure as hell didn’t sound like you hated it.”

Shoving Negan back had him stumbling over his feet again but managing to catch himself before he fell. It drew some people’s attention, but Negan held his hands up with a simple shrug, “Sorry. I’m a klutz.”

Grabbing Negan by the arm, Joel led him back toward the front of the church. Getting him outside on the steps, Joel pulled him over into the corner so they were alone, “Don’t mention last night again. Last night shouldn’t have fucking happened.”

“You liked last night,” Negan reminded Joel with confusion behind his hazel eyes. “I know it’s hard coming to terms with your sexuality. Especially when you think things are a certain way most of your life and then you…”

“I’m nothing like you,” Joel grabbed a tight hold of Negan’s jacket pressing him against the wall of the church. There was a rush of heat flooding into Joel’s face. For the last few weeks he had been fighting to get Y/N’s attention. To get back with her. And now having feelings for the man that was supposed to be his competition while also still wanting to get back with his ex-wife was throwing him through the ringer. “Do you understand me?”

“Fine, you’re nothing like me,” Negan didn’t know what to say, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip. There was still obviously that trouble Joel was having getting used to the idea that he may have feelings for another man. “But pretending you are one way when you’re not is really fucking sad Joel. You gave into what you wanted last night Joel. You shouldn’t feel bad about it. I’m not ashamed of it. And neither should you be. Everyone has done something that people will fucking judge. People fucking suck. They are gonna judge you whether you do what they want or not. Do things that make you fucking happy and feel good. Fuck everyone else.”

“Just…back off for a while Negan,” Joel requested, releasing Negan and shaking his head. Brushing his fingers shakily through his dark hair, Joel felt his heart pounding in his chest and he knew that he had to calm down. “My children don’t need to know that both of their parents are fucking you. You are making it way too obvious in public. And Ellie already feels weird enough that you are fucking her mother.”

“That’s not my intentions,” Negan stammered, his thick eyebrows arching with frustration. “I just care about you. A lot. I care about Y/N and your children.”

“You’re not our family Negan,” Joel reminded Negan having his jaw flexing in upset. It felt like a lot of the time Negan forgot how things were and Joel felt like he had to put Negan in his place. “You abandoned all of us. You could have been family this whole time. You could have been part of everything, but you ran off and you left us behind. Now it’s almost twenty years later and you’re acting like you’ve been here all along. You’re a stranger to this family. And you didn’t have to be like that.”

An array of emotions flooded into Negan’s face and it looked like he was ready to say a whole lot more, but the sound of Peter and Elizabeth calling out to them was heard. Instead they both shut up real fast and followed the children around for what would be their final walk of the night. In the morning they would pack everything back into the car and head home.

When they got back to the apartment, everyone headed upstairs, but Y/N had asked Joel to walk with her and promised they would be back inside soon. They headed over to the Christmas tree at Rockefeller and found a place to sit where they would have some kind of privacy. It irritated Joel because he really didn’t want to be here. If anything, he was just getting angrier about everything.

“This is really beautiful,” she alerted him, pointing toward the tree and enjoying the environment that was around them. It surprised him that was the first thing she said, but she seemed to be really taking it all in. A tense exhale escaped his lips when he felt her hand slipping in with his to hold it. Right now? He didn’t realize that they were at a point where they were back to handholding. “We always talked about coming here, but I think with it being Christmas it was really the best time to come. It’s beautiful. Our town tries, but you can’t really beat the magic of this.”

“I guess,” Joel didn’t know what to say. Again, he wasn’t the biggest fan of Christmas. So for him, this was just an experience for him to have with his family. “It should have been me bringing my family here first though. Not Negan.”

“I think he was just excited,” she made an excuse for the way that Negan was. “You weren’t around at this point, but when Negan was a kid his dad went on a business trip to New York. Brought home this Statue of Liberty bobble head for Negan and always promised that he would take him. And you know that Negan’s dad never really did anything for him and his mom. So that was the thing he always longed for the most growing up. When he heard that we never went, I think he wanted to be different than his dad.”

“Are you trying to say I’m like Negan’s dad?” Joel snarled with her eyes growing big. Shaking her head immediately, she sat forward where she was sitting and Joel could feel his heart pounding inside of his chest. Pulling his hand away from her, Joel realized there was a heat rushing to his face.

“No,” she was strong in the way she stood her ground. “Not at all.”

“You were comparing me to Negan’s dad. I always told our children that we would come here, and we didn’t. Just like Negan’s dad did to him,” Joel stated, his eyebrows showing that he was angry. Color flooded into her features and she was stammering over her words.

“Joel, no. I was just explaining why Negan was eager to bring everyone here. He wanted to do something nice because when he was younger he was denied the chance of coming here when his father came here all the time,” she defended herself, placing her hand in over the center of her chest. “I swear to you, I would never compare you with Negan’s dad. You are an incredible father. You never hurt your children the way that Negan’s dad hurt him.”

“You know…” Joel was ready to erupt, but instead he bit down on his bottom lip and grunted out. “Forget it.”

“I’m sorry, I just think we’re all happy to be here,” she reached her hand out to place it in over Joel’s knee to give it a firm squeeze. “You and I wanted to come here for our honeymoon. Then we wanted to do it for an anniversary, but…”

“We were poor,” Joel hissed out, lifting his head to meet her stare. “We didn’t come here for a honeymoon because I was a twenty-year-old doing everything that he could to keep his head above the water. Not wanting to drown his little brother, his wife and his daughter with him. We never had the money to come here Y/N,” Joel seemed to be letting loose on all the things that were deep in his mind. There was so much stress that had been building up inside of him that he was having a hard time keeping it back. “You see, this was the thing about our relationship that always sucked. You were always so focused on the things I wasn’t doing. Instead of the things that I was doing.”

“Where is this coming from?” she seemed genuinely confused, her back straightening with her trying to touch Joel, but he slid further away from her. “Joel?”

“I wasn’t romantic enough for you. I didn’t think out good gifts. I wouldn’t cuddle you at night. I didn’t talk enough to you. I didn’t show you that I loved you. I didn’t do the fucking dishes,” Joel recalled their fights from the few years before they got divorced. “It wasn’t, hey…my husband goes and works his fucking ass off every day to make sure we don’t lose everything.”

“I never doubted the things that you did for us Joel,” she stuttered, visibly distraught with his explosion. Looking around, she made sure that people weren’t paying attention to them and she shook her head. “What’s going on? I thought we were okay. After the talk we had at the bar the other night…”

“What talk at the bar?” Joel snapped, his voice growing more tense. That was when he realized that a lot of what happened that night, Joel had forgotten.

“When we danced. You were really sweet,” she reminded him getting Joel’s expression to soften and she shook her head. “We were talking about you up on stage. How the only thing that kept you from freaking out was me. How I was the thing that grounded you. Kept you from running away. And then you started talking about how good Negan was for both of us. That you thought the best way for us to be together was to have him with us. And when we got home you talked to us at the table about it. Telling Negan how in love you were with me and how you couldn’t give me up. How you didn’t want to fight anymore. But you were still upset with him over the whole singing thing because he put you on the spot.”

“That doesn’t sound like me at all,” Joel snorted, his heart racing at the idea. How was that something that he would even do or suggest? “I was loving and sweet with you at the bar? After I was infuriated with you for deciding that you wouldn’t leave Negan for me?”

“You were,” she insisted, her face showing that she didn’t understand why he was acting out again. “We danced a long time. And you kept singing to me. Saying things…” she paused, her lips parting and he could see that she was upset. “You sounded like the old Joel again.”

“I’m fairly certain that was a dream you had,” Joel stressed, his chest aching at the idea that he couldn’t even remember doing that. Yeah, he remembered dancing with her. But other than that, there wasn’t much he did recall from that night. And when he was at the dinner table? He thought that Y/N was lecturing him. Not that he was making a deal for all three of them to be together. “After today? I know for a fact that I would never think that Negan being added to our relationship would be a good idea.”

“It wasn’t a dream Joel. Why would I lie to you?” she inquired, looking around to make sure that no one was listening in on their discussion. “Negan didn’t believe you at the table either. That’s why I assumed what happened with you and Negan happened. Because you wanted to prove that you were okay with it. You said that I was the happiest you had ever seen me on this trip. That you made me happy and he made me happy. That you just wanted to give it all a try.”

“The person you’re talking about doesn’t even exist,” Joel noted, his hands resting in his lap while he circled his fingers there. “Because I’m ashamed of what I did with Negan. My father would be rolling in his grave that I let another man do that to me. And the people in the town? They would have a field day with this. Have you even looked at the internet the last few days? Our family? You and me? We’re all over it. And it’s not good things Y/N. If you think Negan would be good for us, then you are a fool. Because he’s not. And trust me, whatever may have happened the other night. Whatever I said? None of it was real. The old Joel? You didn’t love the old Joel. You divorced the old Joel.”

“None of it was real?” she countered, her eyes narrowing. A flood of emotions were running through her and Joel went to speak up, but he couldn’t. “But you were so sweet. And…I’m not the one that wanted to divorce you Joel.”

“As you like to remind me,” Joel noted with a roll of his eyes, dropping his head down noticing the way that his body was tremoring.

“Why is it always the same fight with us?” she frowned, biting down on her bottom lip. Considering what to say next, she sighed and felt a chill around her. “This is where I would remind you that when you were with me that the only things you focused on were the things you could never have being with me. The things that I kept you from,” she felt like she was beating the same drum watching Joel’s Adam’s apple bounce in his throat. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I thought things were getting better between the two of us…”

“Why? Because you let me have your sloppy seconds in a threesome with Negan?” Joel turned his head, his words coming out sharp. Clearly she thought things were okay because of whatever conversation they had the other night before he slept with Negan. With what he had just said, he could tell that it really surprised her. “Thanks Y/N. I’m glad that I got to share your pussy with your boyfriend. Heaven fucking knows I should feel lucky.”

Something changed in her eyes and she nodded her head slowly, lowering it to look down at the ground, “What did you think was going to happen with the two of us? That I’d be through the fucking roof? That I would go home waving a flag around telling people that I’m in a poly relationship with a woman and a fucking man? Do you really think that I’m that type? You knew what my family was like Y/N. How do you think I would be okay with something like that?”

“I don’t know,” she exhaled, keeping her eyes locked on the Christmas tree. Clearly, she thought this was going to be a sweet moment between the two of them, but he was releasing all of his stresses on her about everything that was going on. So he could see by her body language that she was just shutting down all together again.

“You know if I asked you to be part of a threesome with me and Tess, you would have slapped the shit outta me,” Joel grunted, his jaw flexing when she nodded her head about. There was a rage that had been growing inside of him for days. From the over stimulation of everything to seeing how the news articles were reporting about their family. This was all too much for him and he was finally exploding. “I don’t get to flaunt my girlfriend off in front of you, but you can flaunt your perfect boyfriend off in front of me?”

“You flaunted every chance you got with Tess,” she corrected Joel, her eyes tearing over when she looked to him with anger in her eyes. “Don’t pretend you didn’t. You wanted me to hurt. You fucking hated me when you were with Tess and you wanted me to feel pain. To know that you found someone other than me.”

An angered sound escaped Joel’s lips when he rolled his eyes and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his thighs, “I thought you liked Negan. With the two of you doing what you did last night, it sounded like things were good. The difference between Tess and Negan is that you have always liked Negan. Except when you didn’t. I always thought something happened between you and Negan when we were younger. I knew Negan was a virgin, but the way you looked at him…I don’t know. I always figured that was kind of why you didn’t like me when I liked you. And then when you started getting all handsy with him and the two of you slept together…”

“Please don’t talk about it,” Joel begged, holding his hand out in a pleading manner. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”

“Why are you upset about this? If you didn’t want to do something, you wouldn’t have,” she whimpered, the warmth of her tears burning at her eyes. “You never did something unless you wanted to do it Joel. There is nothing wrong with you for being attracted to…” her words came to a halt with Joel glaring out at her behind his angered brown eyes. “There is nothing wrong with it. I get it. Negan has always been very appealing. And I’m okay with all of this.”

“There is something wrong with you for being okay with it,” Joel claimed, his voice growing deeper with disbelief. “You shouldn’t be okay with us doing what we did.”

“I just thought it was the three of us so…” she began and it had Joel laughing in a way that felt like he was belittling her. “I love the both of you. And you seem to feel a certain way about Negan that’s…”

“You don’t love me,” Joel interrupted her, his eyes narrowing at her. Right now he was hurting her and he knew that, but he didn’t’ care in the moment. “You know, he’s not as good of a man as you think he is. Right?”

“I don’t think you nor Negan are bad men. I know who Negan is,” she decided for herself, pulling her coat tighter to her body. “He’s never hidden who he is from me.”

Of course that’s where she was going to go with it. Negan told her everything so that was another thing that could be held over him, “And what he did for you yesterday at the bar, that was really nice of him. You wanted to be a musician so bad and you really haven’t played in front of people since high school. You did amazing.”

“Yeah, Negan is a fucking saint,” Joel mocked, cussing under his breath at the thought of it all. “Do you know that I can’t even read my work e-mails? After the whole piano thing and what happened at the bar, I have so many fucking people contacting me. Wanting to hire me or contact me for some other kind of business opportunities? I have hundreds of e-mails today because of him.”

“That’s a good thing,” she thought aloud, circling her finger around them. “Think of all the opportunities it can open you and the business up to.”

“But you’re missing the whole point,” Joel asserted, throwing his hands up in disbelief. “These aren’t people that are contacting me because I’m good at my job. These are people that are contacting me because I went viral. Our fucking piano dance went viral on social media. So did what happened at the bar. These are people contacting because I’m friends with fucking Negan Smith. It’s not because I’m a good worker where they saw what I was capable of.”

“I’m confused, isn’t this a good thing?” she questioned, her face twisting with trying to understand where he was coming from. “At least you could be able to prove yourself to people with this chance you are being given.”

“Everything I’ve done for myself, I’ve done it on my own,” Joel fumed at the idea of people wanting to hire him just for knowing Negan. “I don’t need Negan coming into my life and making my life suddenly magical. Because then I owe him everything and I don’t want to owe him anything.”

Hearing Joel go off, she didn’t know how to respond to his rant. There were positive things that she could say, but everything seemed to be wrong between them right now.

“You know, Negan has the life that I always fucking wanted,” Joel confessed with a hesitant laugh, shaking his head and squeezing his palms into fists. Even though he didn’t mean for it to happen, he was exploding all of his emotions onto her. “And Negan has shown me what a hypocrite you truly are.”

“What?” she didn’t seem to understand where he was headed.

“You always told me that it didn’t matter that I was normal. That even though I didn’t get to become famous you still loved me. That I was perfect just the way that I was,” Joel reminded her of the things she would often say to him to make him feel better when he’d have depression when they were younger about the things that never came in life. “Yet Negan comes in and he has everything I wanted. He’s rich. He’s giving. People love him. And he can make anything happen with the snap of his fingers. And you are fucking twitterpated. You are obsessed with him. You told me that wasn’t the life you wanted. That wasn’t the kind of person that you wanted, yet you are picking him over me in every way. So either you are a hypocrite or you are a liar. Or maybe you’re both.”

“I don’t see Negan like that,” she swore, placing her hand in over the center of her chest. “You know how I felt about Negan when we were younger. He was the most important person in the world to me. My best friend. He was the boy that lived next door to me. He was sweet. He was caring…”

“And you didn’t want him,” Joel interrupted her with a scowl getting her eyes to lock with his again. “You didn’t care about him. You wanted me. I was the one that you wanted. I kiss you once and you’re eager for me to take you back to my bed to have sex with me. You ripped Negan’s heart out of his chest, you stomped on it and you didn’t give a shit. You didn’t care about that poor boy that lived next door. No, you care about him now that he’s perfect. Now that he has so much fucking money.”

“Are you insinuating that I’m a gold digger?” she wondered, her bottom lip trembling with the things that Joel was saying about her.

“No, I don’t think you’re a gold digger. I think you’re enamored by shiny things because you never got to have them in your life,” Joel claimed, stroking his fingers through his messy hair. “Negan offers you the life that we both wanted but couldn’t have. Instead of working for it, Negan can easily hand it to you. You’re happy. You’re off living the glory life with Negan while I’m still at home, fucking alone and miserable. How is that fair?”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized with a shuddering breath. “If anything, I can admit this, maybe I’m selfish and greedy. Because I love the both of you. I don’t want you alone Joel. There is half of me that loves him, but the other half is head over heels in love with you.”

Joel looked to her, his brown eyes lacking emotion right now while she tried to explain herself but she was coming up short, “Maybe with you playing last night, you can finally have some of the life that you always wanted that you could never have when you were with me. I thought the three of us together was an option that you were okay with. I thought having both me and Negan would make you happy too. Negan brings out parts of you that I couldn’t even do. Getting you to do that piano thing? You were so happy and you had so much fun. Then getting you up on stage? No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get you to do that growing up. You love me, but with Negan…”

“There is nothing between Negan and I,” Joel stressed, the muscles in his body locking up when she explained clearly where she was getting that information from. Sitting to himself, Joel hated that he allowed himself to get so comfortable and relaxed with Negan like he did for a while. Liking a man like that, just didn’t seem right. So he swiftly changed the subject. “I bet if I had the life that Negan had, we would still be together,” Joel commented, his muscles flexing with him trying to hold his anger in. “I could have cheated on you and you’d still be with me because at least you’d have those shiny things and we’d be happy.”

“Cheated on me?” she repeated with Joel looking to her with his eyebrows bouncing in the air.

“I’m just making a point,” Joel scoffed, leaning back to brace some of his weight on his hands. “I think you picked me over Negan when we were younger because I was the one with more potential. I was the more popular one. I had the better parents. I had better prospects. Scouts already planning on snatching me up when we were younger. I was the shiny one that you were drawn to. I guess it’s too fucking bad that you picked the wrong one.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly why I was in love with you Joel. I knew before I was even a pre-teen that you were made for glorious things and that’s why I crushed on you. I thought you were going to make loads of money and that’s exactly what a little girl thinks,” she pressed at the tears over her face hating that Joel was going straight to this. “I knew nothing about you. When you came to that door the first time? I saw you and I fell in love with you immediately. It was love at first sight for me. With your big brown eyes. The dimples where one was more prominent than the other. You were so cute. And then when you were around…”

“I treated you like shit,” Joel reminded her of what he was like when he was a child. “I was miserable. So I treated everyone like shit. I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to go back to Texas. But you didn’t take the hint. You wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone. I couldn’t stand you at first Y/N. The only reason we started hanging out was because you beat the shit out of that kid that was bullying Tommy. I thought then maybe you were worth my time. But even then? I still preferred to be around Negan. You were so desperate to have me like you. And I didn’t. You were a cool girl that everyone liked because you were awesome. But I never liked you like that. You even knew that, that’s why you and Negan hooked up. And I know you used Negan to make me jealous. I just think it’s a little sad that he never realized it. It was cruel. Which is why I have a hard time believing right now that Negan is the man for you. Because the moment I felt anything for you, the moment I gave you attention. You hopped on my dick as fast as you could. I kissed you once, I took you back to my home and you were just begging for me to take your virginity. And I didn’t even have to be romantic. So whatever you’re pulling with Negan right now? You need to let go of it. Because I know I’m your obsession. Not him. It’s always been me. You never loved him. He’s just everything you want me to be so you feel like you have to be with him. He’s too nice to let go. Me? We have history. There is pain. But you know, just as well as I do that your heart? It belongs to me. And you will go through endless amounts of whatever life throws at you because you want to be with me. And you’re hurting the both of us right now because you feel bad. You made Negan think there was something there and there isn’t.”

“I really can’t tell whether you like me or not,” she claimed with a broken breath, her eyes narrowing showing that she was hurt. “Right now, I think you’re upset because you realize that you love me, but you’re attracted to Negan. And that scares you. So you’re taking things out on me. Like you have always done in moments of being upset and not being able to handle things. I’m the only person you can treat like shit because you know I’ll always take it because I love you.”  

“Is that what is going wrong with me?” Joel chuckled, his eyebrows bouncing up when he shook his head slowly. “I’m having a hard time coming to terms with being bisexual so that’s why I’m feeling the way that I’m feeling. It can’t possibly be that I’m upset with how things have been?”

“Do you know what the difference between you and Negan is?” she interrupted his thought process.  

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this one,” Joel snickered, his head following her movements when she stood up from where they were seated.

“I broke Negan’s heart and he forgave me,” she acknowledged with a nod of her head, stray tears still falling from her eyes. Broken breaths escaped her throat as she tried to wipe them away. “You keep breaking my heart and I’m supposed to be the one that apologizes for it. You shattered my heart into pieces and I blamed myself. It was my fault. And then you kept breaking my heart, but I apologized to you. Because it had to be my fault. I had to have done something wrong.”

Joel said nothing with her starting to sob before him and she shook her head, “forget it.”

“Hey!” Joel called out to her, stopping her when she went to head back for the apartment. Hooking his fingers around her wrist, Joel pulled her back to him.

“You had four years,” she breathed out, sounding incredibly sad about this whole discussion. “Four years to do the bare minimum and I would have taken you back in a heartbeat because I am so head over heels in love with you.”

There were so many people around them, but in that moment it felt like she was the only person that was there for him.

“I don’t question that Negan loves me,” she whispered, her reddened over eyes staring up at him. “But I can’t tell if you love or hate me Joel.”

Sure, he should have said something, but nothing was coming out, “I have always loved you. When I married you Joel, I never loved something more in my life. You were everything I wanted and more,” she whimpered, her head shaking when she spoke. “You want me to pick you Joel? Give up everything with Negan? Prove to me that you love me. Show me that I’m the person that you want to be with. Convince me that you love me. I will reconsider everything if you prove to me right now that you love me. If giving up Negan is the thing that will bring the old Joel back and we can be happy again, then I’ll do it. Just give me a sign that’s what I have to do. If it’s going to make you happy and it will bring back the man I originally married? Then I will do it in an instant.”

Dropping his hand down at his side, Joel’s eyelids grew heavy with his eyes hooked on hers. A breath caught in his throat when she stepped in closer to him. Pressing her hand in over the center of his chest, she tipped up on her toes to faintly brush her lips over his. Letting her kiss him, Joel imagined this was exactly the kind of thing she would have found romantic when they were younger. Kissing in front of the tree, the snow, the moment all together.

What was sad? He believed that. He could tell by the way that she was kissing him that she meant everything that she said. All he had to do was promise her that they could be what they were and she would give up Negan for him. Because that was the time where she was the happiest. He was her happy place. There were no doubts in his mind that if he promised her what she wanted to hear, he could have exactly what he wanted.

But as she kissed him, he thought about the other things that were said before this. How he treated her just being upset about things now. Truthfully? She probably was right. This was his anger about his emotions toward Negan making him feel wrong because of his father. So he was erupting on her. Just now? He treated her fucking terrible. And she was willing to give everything up for him. And then that made him think about how happy Negan seemed to make her. How Negan went above and beyond for everyone. Even though Joel didn’t agree with the whole paparazzi thing and his family being in the limelight, Negan would never hurt her like this. Negan never hurt her like he had. And he’d likely hurt her again. Because Joel was a negative person. Someone who tried hard to be the best version of himself, but he still had a lot of negative thoughts and angry emotions inside of him. And she didn’t deserve to constantly be sad. She deserved to be showed endless amounts of love where she was pampered.

This was everything he wanted, but he knew that he couldn���t take it. And he knew the only way for him to get her to pick Negan completely was to break her heart again. Joel wasn’t good enough for Negan nor Y/N. It just made more sense for him to be alone.

When she pulled her lips from his, he tipped his head back and shook his head, “You’re not the woman I married. I was confused. I thought I loved you, but I don’t…” Joel paused, letting a tremoring breath escape him. It was a lie, but he had to say something to push her away. Right now he could have gotten her to leave Negan in an instant. That was how certain he was after that kiss, but then he couldn’t stop thinking about all the horrible shit he had done to her. How broken he made her. And he realized…she deserved better than him. Even if it was with Negan. “We only got married because you got pregnant with Ellie. Do you really think we would have done that if you didn’t?”

She said nothing. He wasn’t sure if she could. Emotional was an understatement.

“Let’s think like adults for a minute,” Joel began, his throat going dry. “If my parents never died, we would have never gotten married. At home, I was infatuated with you. You were mine. But if I would have went to school, I would have slept with lots of other women. Then you would have gone off to school and started a life of your own. We would have never stayed together.”

Nothing. No words. That shocked him even more.

“Or if we played things out this way. My parents died leaving me to take care of Tommy. I was stuck here. We had sex all the time. You got pregnant. Your parents kicked you out of your home because you refused to get an abortion. I married you because I thought it was the right thing to do. Not because I wanted to get married. Because I was responsible for you now and the baby growing inside of you,” Joel’s voice grew darker when he recounted their past together. What he was doing was selling their life short and making a mockery of it because it was the only sure way that he knew she would go directly to Negan. “If I would have pulled out or spent the extra bucks to get condoms you would have never gotten pregnant. You would have never moved in. You would have gone off to school and you would have abandoned me. We both know the only reason we got married is because of Ellie.”

“I would have abandoned you?” she whispered with Joel nodding. “You were my whole world. I picked you over everything. My whole entire life.”

There was silence only interrupted by the sob that she released, “I’m not the woman that you married? Well, you’re not the man that I married Joel. The Joel that I married was selfless. He showed love. He may have been depressed, but he loved and he loved deeply. You pretending it was something less than that is an absolute lie.”

“You tell yourself whatever makes you feel better,” Joel suggested with a tip of his head. “I don’t love you Y/N. You were a marriage out of guilt. Nothing more. I’ve only been so focused on getting back with you because…”

A shuddering breath fell from her lips with a single nod of her head, holding her hand up to alert him that he needed to stop. In those last few minutes, he broke her heart again and he knew it. Giving Joel a final once over, she headed back toward the apartment building leaving him alone.

Inhaling sharply, there was part of Joel that wondered if he should go after her. Instead, he just let her leave. Going back to where he was sitting with her previously, Joel stayed there for quite some time just waiting. Watching people together. So many people around him were happy. They were with their families, friends, their loved ones and they were swept up in the holiday spirit.

And then there was him.

Getting up from where he was seated, Joel started to walk around knowing that he wasn’t ready to go back to the apartment just yet. Stopping at the bar that Negan took them to last night, Joel considered things and got in line to get in. Maybe he would just take a moment to relish one more time. It was highly unlikely that he would ever come back to this place. He would get wasted and then head back to the apartment.

In the distance, Joel saw a pair of eyes locking on him and he noticed it was the security guard that had pushed him up onto the stage last night. Moving down the line, he wiggled his fingers at Joel to follow him. Thinking things over, Joel realized that he was having a lot of problems with being treated better because of Negan, but right now he was going to take up their offer.

“What were you doing getting in the line Mr. Miller?” the security guard stammered, leading Joel toward the entrance of the club. “You know that you will always be welcome here. Either mention the owners name or if you see me, come to me.”

“That’s…nice,” Joel didn’t know what to say stepping into the bar realizing how many people he just got to pass up in order to get here. Instead of what it was like last night, Joel just headed over to the busy bar and order himself a whiskey. Sitting to himself listening to the sounds of the loud talking and the music booming through the place had him feeling even more lonely than he thought he would feel.

“Mr. Miller,” another voice boomed with an arm wrapping around his shoulders eliciting an uncomfortable breath from Joel. It was the owner of the club and he looked excited to see Joel there. “I thought that was you! We had a lot of broken hearts last night with all the women that were here wishing that they were going home with you, but you left.”

“I’m sure,” Joel managed to snake himself out from underneath the arm of the owner, going back to drink his whiskey.

“What are you doing with this shit?” the owner scoffed, waving his fingers at the bartender to come over. “You get this man the highest quality whiskey we have. And the bill is on me. Get him whatever he wants.”

With an obedient nod, the bartender did just that and Joel huffed. All this because he was friends with Negan?

“Have you come to play for us again tonight?” the man questioned having Joel laugh and shrug his shoulders. “I’m serious. I think the people here would really enjoy it.”

“Why?” Joel was blunt, his eyes narrowing when he turned on the bar stool that he was seated on. “What do you owe Negan?”

“What do I owe Negan?” the man repeated with a wrinkle of his nose. “Nothing. I just like what I heard last night and I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”

“It wasn’t my music and I don’t have a guitar,” Joel pointed out, drinking down the glass of expensive whiskey that he was given letting out a loud hiss when he swallowed.

“No one here sings their original music my friend,” the owner pointed toward the stage where a younger artist was also singing popular music of the time. “You want someone here to steal your music and then claim it as your own? No, I don’t think so.”

Waving for another drink for Joel, the owner sighed loudly and shrugged his shoulders, “I hate the audience that we are drawing lately. You are a different kind of a draw and I like it. We have the same guitar in the back, I’ll get it for you and you can sing some things for us.”

“Did one of your acts not show up?” Joel inquired with a smirk when the owner didn’t respond. With a laugh, Joel pointed at the owner and shook his head. “That’s what I thought.”

“You don’t like having the limelight on you?” the man stammered, eyeballing Joel over when he swallowed down the next glass of whiskey that was before him. “Sing for these people. Sing whatever your heart desires. You’ll be doing me a favor and you get to know what it feels like to have people wanting you. To be the center of attention for the second night in a row…”

“Fine,” Joel grumbled having the man clap his hands together. “I can’t promise I’ll be any better than yesterday. I’m kind of in a shit mood.”

“Angst. That shit sells better than anything,” the man suggested, motioning Joel to wait. “I’ll go get the guitar. When this act is done, you can go up. Just don’t try to run this time. Okay?”

Doing as he was told, Joel listened like a good boy. Got another drink in before he was called to the stage. Tonight, he didn’t have a support system. Y/N wasn’t standing by the stage to let him know that everything would be okay. That regardless of what happened, she would be there to stand by him every step of the way. Today he was alone. The very thing he did to himself.

Starting to strum at the guitar, Joel let the first thing that came to mind fall from his lips.

“I hurt myself today,” Joel sang with an awe from the crowd to those that knew the chord and the lyrics. “To see if I still feel. I focus on the pain. The only thing that’s real.”

With this one? It was mixed this time from both men and women that liked it. Last night, most of the audience was women that were enjoying the things that he was singing. They were romance songs. This song? Hurt was about self-destruction.

“The needle tears a hole. The old familiar sting. Try to kill it all away. But I remember everything,” Joel continued on, looking toward the place Y/N had been standing the night before. Telling her that he didn’t love her echoed in his mind. Replaying like a moment from a movie. The way she looked at him. The pain she undoubtedly felt. “What have I become? My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end. And you can have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.”

Misery flooded his veins, but he kept at it. Maybe it made him sound better. But he continued the song. Having a bigger reaction than he did last night by the time he finished it. Several more songs came to him, until he decided he had enough. Right now? He felt empty. And singing what he was just made him feel worse.

Avoiding the crowd of people, Joel went back to the bar and got himself another drink. He regretted doing that. It was stupid and unnecessary. Finishing his drink, Joel slammed the glass down on top of the bar and started to head toward the door.

“You’re leaving so early?” a familiar voice called out to Joel having him stop before he could leave. Looking back over his shoulder, Joel saw the same familiar set of green eyes. “You didn’t even look like you enjoyed that today. And people were sold on it.”

“Maggie,” Joel breathed her name, surprised that she was there. Then he remembered what Negan told him about her. “You’re here again?”

“With a few of my friends too,” she responded, nodding her head back toward a table in the corner. “You’re alone this time?”

“I am,” Joel answered, straightening up his posture when she stepped in closer to him.

“So tell me Joel,” Maggie stepped forward, her hand dipping between them to palm in over the center of Joel’s pants having him let out a sharp exhale. “Is everything bigger in Texas?”

“You tell me,” Joel grunted, his brow line creasing with her pressing in closer to him.

“My friend lives a few blocks from here. There’s three of us,” Maggie alerted Joel with a tip of her head. “What do you think?”

“You’re persistent,” Joel reached for her wrist to pull it from his body with a scoff.

“Tonight I’m willing to share you,” Maggie offered with a shrug of her shoulders. “Wouldn’t you like that? Being pampered by three beautiful women? It looks like you could use it.”

Thinking things over, Joel bit down on his bottom lip and then nodded once, “I’ll be right back.”

Waiting, Joel wondered if he was making a mistake or not. He would have loved something like this when he was younger. Three women willing to pamper his every need. He’d be crazy to turn something like that down.

But then again? He was crazy. Because he just devastated the woman of his dreams because he didn’t think he was good enough for her. She was willing to give herself over completely to him and he hurt her again.

Swiftly stepping aside, Joel was quick to move toward the exit of the building. When he gazed back over his shoulder he saw Maggie returning to where she was with her friends looking for him. That wasn’t what he wanted. And he was a fool for even considering it.

Sneaking out as quickly as he could, Joel was swift to make his way back through the streets of New York. Finding his way back to the apartment building, Joel knew that he needed to tell Y/N how he really felt instead of letting his hurt feelings speak for him. Allowing her to think that he didn’t love her was the worst possible thing he could do tonight. Not having her at the bar tonight made him realize that without her, things weren’t gratifying for him. Even if he did have the life that he always wanted, it wouldn’t make him happy. Because she was the thing that made him happy. Not the spotlight of music. She was his inspiration. The thing that made his heart full. With her there last night, he knew that he had someone there that loved him. Someone that would lift him up if everything failed.

At the apartment, he almost slid across the floor with how fast he was moving when he got through the security to get to the elevator. He couldn’t push the buttons fast enough. She left him crying tonight and that really was the last thing that he wanted.

With the elevator doors opening, Joel ran out into the apartment realizing that the lights were off. Everyone had gone to sleep and no one was up waiting for him. Clearing his throat, he stumbled through the living room and headed for the bedroom that he knew Negan and Y/N were in. He’d just ask to talk to her alone so he could do exactly what she asked of him. Tell her how much he loved her and how nothing felt worth a damn with her not in his life. That was his problem. Life felt empty without her.

Pushing open the door, Joel stopped in his tracks when he saw with the small amount of light that was filtering into the room that her head was buried against the center of Negan’s chest. She had been crying and he knew that by how she looked. Stepping back toward the doorframe, Joel hid himself in the shadows.

Negan had her wrapped up in his arms in a loving manner. Holding her in a way that Joel hadn’t in years. This was the very thing she wanted. The thing that she had begged him for when they were still married. Tenderness. Love. Affection. Everything she wanted from him, she had with Negan.

A shift in breathing alerted Joel that Negan had woken up and instantly he lifted his head to check on Y/N. His fingers brushed over her shoulders and he placed a loving kiss over her head, “I love you. So much.”

That was all he needed to hear to realize that nothing he could do would prove that he was the better option. Negan was everything she wanted, everything she needed that she was lacking with him. There was nothing he could give her because in Negan, Joel saw exactly what it was that Y/N wanted. Pure love.

Backstepping away from the bedroom, Joel felt like a house was crushing him with the weight of the world falling on his shoulders. It hit him then just how much he truly fucked up in life and it hurt. The one person who had always loved him and supported him even at his worst had found someone else. And she deserved so much better than Joel.  

Heading up the stairs, Joel kicked his boots off and headed over toward Elizabeth’s room. Stumbling into the room, Joel laid down on the floor beside her bed and stared up at the ceiling. It didn’t take long for Elizabeth to notice he was there with her lifting up and looking over the side of the bed.

“Dad? Are you okay?” Elizabeth reached for his hand, her fingers hooking with his realizing that Joel was crying. “Dad?”

Sliding over in her bed, she pat the bed beside her begging Joel to come lay with her. Getting up on the bed, Joel laid in beside her and Elizabeth held tightly to his hand. Crawling in beside him, she rest her head against the center of Joel’s chest and he cuddled her close.

“It’s going to be okay,” she assured Joel with a worried breath and Joel gave a small nod, nuzzling his nose in over her head.

He hoped so. But he wasn’t sure it would ever be okay again.

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

[a1307s]

So Pretty

(Wally West Smut)

[Art is not mine. Credit to unknown]

Requested by: dogma0325

Keys:

Y/N - Your Name

N/N - Nick Name

Word Count: 3110

Warning and/or Pre-notes:

Pervert/Slight Assault

Degrading

Name Calling: Desperate, Bitch, Bimbo, Slut, Good Girl

Choking

Face Slapping

Rough Domination/Submission

Hair Pulling

Scratching

Creampie

——————————————————————

"Mmhmm," I hum around my wine glass, keeping my eyes locked on the man in front of me. He's older - probably old enough to be Oliver's father - but he's one of the 'power houses' Ollie wants to partner with to further Queen Industries.

The grandpa continues on about the new what-cha-ma-call-it as his hand slides onto my knee. It might be anti-feminist of me to flirt and "show off" my body to gain partnerships but it's so much easier than pretending to care about what he's talking about. "I think Mr. Queen would be interested in it, don't you Miss Harper?" He asks, inching his hand further up the split of my dress.

"I think Ollie would be very interested. Would you like me to call him over?" I ask, sending not so secretive bedroom eyes over his way.

It doesn't take a genius to notice the way the man squirms in his seat before deciding standing would be an easier way to hide his arousal. "No, no, no. I shall walk you back over to Mr. Queen. What kind of man would I be having you beckon him over?" He asks, gently picking up my hand and kissing my knuckles.

Shivers run through me, followed by a wave of nauseousness. I quickly shove the feelings down and replace them with a smile. "How sweet," I offer up, trying to loosen my jaw, "Queen Industrials definitely could use more honorable men like you".

This brings a smile to the creeps face which is quickly hidden away with more kisses laid up my hand and across my wrist. When my nervous can't take anymore I stand up and turn to head toward the group of people surrounding Oliver. Creepy McCreep follows, placing a hand on my back that quickly descends down to grab a hand full of my ass as we walk across the ballroom.

"Y/N!" Wally - one of my older brother's friends - chirps out as we near the group. His eyes are a dark green - partly cause of the booze in his system and partly not. "I've been meaning to sneak over and say hi," He continues, making swift moves to place himself between McCreep and me.

Wally's arm wraps around my waist as he leans over to kiss my cheek. As he's pulling away, he stops for a beat to whisper in my ear, "Pretty pathetic of you to open your legs for a man like that".

My eyes glance over at Roy to see if he noticed but he - and Oliver - are too occupied with McCreep to notice Wally's words.

The speedster's arm stays on my waist, his finger tips digging into my hip as his mouth stays put by my ear. "I know I've been preoccupied with the whole hero gig but I didn't think you'd go pimping yourself out. Are you that desperate?"

"I'm not desperate," I bite back, keeping my voice low as well. For the past couple months Wally and me have been.... Friends with benefits, which has really gone to his head, especially in the bedroom.

"Seems like you are," Wally murmurs, softly sliding his fingertips just far enough under my dress to dig them into my inner thigh. "I thought we had an understanding N/N. I thought I made it clear that you - that your body, belongs to me".

"And I thought I made it clear that I'm not your girlfriend, Wally," I shoot back, still keeping my tone hushed.

"Get your ass upstairs. Now," Wally growls in my ear before letting go of me and standing up straight again.

"And if I don't?" I breathe out, tilting my head back to look up at Wally.

He tilts his head back down, his lips making butterfly touches to my ear as he talks. "If you don't, I'll bend you over the bar and let big brother dearest and Mr. Perv watch as I bruise you inside and out,".

I'm left to register Wally's words as he slips out from the group of high class Starr City citizens and walks out of the ballroom.

"Where's Wally going?" Roy asks, shimming into his friend's previous spot.

"Uh... Dick called?" I push out, making it more of a question than a statement. "I don't know, I couldn't really hear him,".

Roy thinks it over for a moment before shrugging it off and turning back towards the conversation. "Roy?" I ask, getting a hum as an answer. "I think I'm going to head to bed for the night".

"Okay, goodnight Y/N," Roy says back, giving me a side hug before I walk out of the group as well, quick to follow Wally's previous exit route.

My heart rate picks up as I climb up the stairs, heading towards my room where a very upset Wally awaits me. I slowly walk down the hallway, my heels echoing along the narrow space.

"Wally?" I call softly, pushing my bedroom door open before walking in. My nightstand light is on, eliminating Wally and making his red hair stand out against the green fabrics of the room. The air is thick with all of the speedster's emotions: Jealousy, anger, and arousal.

"Come here," Wally demands, his voice low, almost a growl as the words come out.

"No," I whisper, pushing my back to the door, causing it to latch close. Wally snaps up to his feet and takes quick paces toward me.

Before I can think, his body is pressed against mine, trapping me against the door. His hand is rough and heavy against my throat as he forces my head back to look at him. Wally's eyes are dark, almost black instead of his normal green color.

"I've had enough of you today. You've been prancing around pretty much naked making blow job eyes at every rich man that walks in. Do you know what that makes you look like? It makes you look like a desperate little bitch. Are you a desperate bitch? Are you Y/N?" Wally continually repeats the last two sentences, getting more and more in my face each time. As he repeats himself, he tightens his grasp on my neck so I can't answer him back.

"Aww, is the poor baby Harper struggling to answer me? Maybe if you weren't blowing every one of daddy's partners your throat would work, hmm?" Wally taunts, using his free hand to hoist up the skirt of my dress. His fingertips ghost over my clothed pussy before settling on the waist band of my panties.

Tears start to prickle my eyes as I gasp for air. My hands wrap around Wally's wrist, digging my nails into his arm to try and get him to loosen his grip. "P... ple... please?" I manage to get out between gasps.

Wally's eyes are hard, filled to the brim with jealousy as he looks at me. "Fine," He mumbles, releasing me. From the lack of oxygen, my balance is off when he lets go, causing me to fall to my knees at his feet. "Good, that's where spoiled bimbos like you belong," Wally adds, leaning down to grab my face with one of his hands.

My breath is heavy and tears continue to trickle down, rolling over his fingers as he squishes my cheeks. "You look so pretty," Wally says gently, his eyes softening just for a moment. "But that isn't an excuse for you to act like a free use slut at the gala." The words come out sharp, adding to the pool that's been forming between my thighs since I entered the room. "Is that what you want? To be treated like a free use slut? To be used where ever and whenever men want? Without you getting a say?"

"No," I whimper, grabbing at Wally's dress shirt. The material feels smooth and warm under my finger tips. "I don't want other men to use me. I only want you to use me," The words come out in a rush, sounding more like pleas than an answer.

This seems to satisfy Wally, getting me a rewarding soft kiss to my lips. "Don't worry N/N, I'll use you. By the time I'm done with you the only thing that'll be left in this empty little head of yours will be my name," He says, softly shaking my head through the last half of his sentence.

Wally releases my face, leaving me a mess on the floor as he walks back over to my bed. He plants himself on the edge of it, eyes locked on me as I stay kneeled on the floor, unable to stop tears from falling. "Come on baby, I haven't even been that mean to you," Wally says, patting his thigh to beckon me forward, adding a soft smile to his face to encourage me to obey.

I listen, crawling across the room to kneel between his legs. "You are so pretty baby," He says again, wrapping his fingers around my neck and leaning down to lick the tears off my cheeks. "So, so pretty,".

Soon the licks turn to soft kisses that end in a gentle kiss to my lips. When he parts from me, he continues littering butterfly kisses across my cheeks. His fingers are light this time, not the tight, oxygen stopping hold from before. "It makes me so sad when I have to correct your bad behavior,".

"It doesn't seem like it," I whisper out, closing my eyes to soak in the gentleness I'm receiving from the speedster.

In a split second the soft kisses are replaced by a slap across my face. My cheek stings as tears start to prickle at my eyes again. "You just can't stop while you're ahead can you?" Wally asks, forcibly turning my head so I'm looking at him again. "What am I gonna do with you little Harper?" He asks, rubbing his thumb across my cheek, causing the stinging to continue.

"Is it really that hard for you to keep your legs closed? Is it so hard for you to be grateful that I'm willing to correct your behaviors? Maybe I'm wasting my time," Wally mumbles the last part, letting go of my face and standing up.

"Please stay," I whine, wrapping my fingers around Wally's belt. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I continue, burying my head in Wally's stomach.

"You're sorry for what?" He asks, fisting my hair in his hand to tilt my head back.

Wally looking down on me makes more shock waves ripple through me. I rub my thighs together, wiggling my fingers closer to the latch of his belt. "I'm sorry... for... for acting... desperate. I'm sorry for acting... like... like a spoiled bimbo," my voice weavers and my hands shake as I undo his belt.

In approval, Wally loosens his grasp on my hair but doesn't completely let go. His eyes stay locked on mine as I undo his pants and slowly pull his penis out of his boxers. I rest my hands on his thighs before leaning down, my hair pulling as I wrap my mouth around Wally's tip. I bob my head a couple times but can't get further down because of the grasp he still holds on my hair. "Nope," Wally says, using my hair to yank me back from his erection.

"No?" I whine, snaking my hands from his legs towards his cock.

"No," He repeats, using my hair to pull me to my feet before I can touch him again. He takes a second to admire me. My head pulled back by my hair, my legs shaking and covered in my own juices. "Strip," Wally says, letting go of my hair and sitting back down on the edge of my bed.

I obey, kicking off my heels before slowly peeling my dress off of myself. His eyes pierce into me, watching me shimmy out of my panties and unclasping my bra. I stand there, waiting for Wally's next command as his eyes rake over my body. "Can you please take your shirt off?" I whine, taking a cautious stop forward and sliding my hands under his suit jacket.

Wally fulfills my request, shrugging off his jacket before unbuttoning and sliding out of his dress shirt. "Thank you," I say, resting my hands on his shoulders.

He ignores me, grabbing my thighs and spreading my legs apart. "You really are a desperate little thing, aren't you?" He asks, bending his head down to lick the mess off my thighs.

"For you, yes" I breathe out, tangling my fingers in his hair. His tongue feels teasing, running over my thighs and getting close but not close enough to my pussy. "Please?" I beg as my legs continue to shake.

"Why should I?" Wally asks, removing his head from my thighs, replacing it with ghostly finger tips just barely grazing my folds. "You don't deserve it".

I don't answer him, and instead whine and tug on the ends of his hair. Wally planting a kiss on my stomach before pulling me on his lap. His dick is hard and warm pressed up against my thigh, causing me to be even needier. His eyes are softer now, some of the green coming back to them. "You are a needy little thing. Are you needy baby?" Wally asks before sinking his teeth into my shoulder.

His teeth hurt as he bites down, pulling out whines and mews from me. "Please?" I ask, tugging at his pants.

"Please what?" He asks, running his tongue over the bite mark, causing extra stinging sensations.

"Please fuck me. Please fuck my pussy. Please?" I beg, dragging out the last word.

"If it's your pussy, you can fuck it," Wally tells me, moving his hips so the head of his penis is pressed against my clit. He slowly moves his hips, giving me the minimum friction possible.

     I cling to his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin and burying my head in his neck. "It's your pussy, Wally. Please just touch me. Please?"

     A gentle hum comes from Wally, followed by his hand back in my hair and new vibrations being sent from his dick to my clit. "Are you sure it's mine? Seems like you were prancing it around and offering it up to everyone a little while ago".

     "It's... it's yours," I wheeze out, slightly dragging my nails down his shoulder from the new added friction.

     Wally doesn't reply. Instead he teases me by constantly changing the pace of the vibrations between my legs. His eyes stay lock on me, constantly raking across my body. My head pulled by back him, strands of loss hair clinging to the forming sweat on me. My arms wrapped around his shoulders with my fingernails constantly moving across his back and leaving my own marks on him. My legs trembling as juices spill out and coat my thighs along with Wally's pants.

     The tightness in my groin is seconds away from snapping when Wally stops and lets go of me. I whine at the sudden loss of my orgasm and tight my grip, causing myself to get closed to him. The head of his penis pokes teasingly at the rim of my opening.

     Wally's hand meets my bare waist before his lips met my collar bone. He sucks on it, sure to leave a bruise to form. "Are you going to be good? Are you going to behave and spread yourself out for me?"

     "Yes," I answer back, trying to scoot forward but unable to from the strong hold on my waist. "Please?" I whimper, sliding my hands from Wally's back to gentle tug on the ends of his hair.

Wally lifts me up as he stands. He's gentle when he lays me in the bed. When my back makes contact with my sheets, I let my legs fall open and put myself on display. A pleased hum comes from my partner as he drops his remaining clothes.

"So pretty," Wally purrs as he climbs between my legs. His hands are soft and slow as he rubs my inner thighs, kisses chasing after his finger tips. Wally weavers for a second at the end of my thighs before placing a teasing kiss to my clit. The kisses trail up my stomach towards my chest as he realigns himself with my hole. As the kisses climb up my chest towards my neck, Wally painfully slowly inches himself in me.

I whimper, wrapping my arms around his back again. "Wally," I whine, trying to push him further in me.

"Be patient," He whispers against my skin as his hands secure themselves to my hips. His pace stays slow as he continues littering kisses over my body.

"You're being so good for me," Wally says, starting to pick up his pace. My nails dig into his shoulder blades again as I slide my legs around his torso. His hands slide down to my thighs to hold me in place. "Whose pussy is this?" Wally asks, locking his eyes with me as he pounds into me.

I whine, sliding my hands to the nape of his neck and grasp the whiskers of hair that are laid there. "You", I peep out, squeezing my legs around him.

"Yes I am," He replies cockily with a big grin on his face. "Only I can make you feel this needy,". One of Wally's hands slides down from my thigh to start rubbing circles on my nerve bud. "Is my pussy going to cum for me? Is it? I bet it is with how desperate you've been," He taunts, his circles getting faster and his thrusts getting sloppy.

I opened my mouth to answer but the only thing that comes out is a moan. The knot in my stomach continues to tighten from Wally's actions. "Wally," I moan as the knot starts to unravel.

     "Good girl," He groans, "Just a couple more and then you can rest". His hands are heavy against me and my hips ache from the pace but I keep my whines of pain to myself.

As Wally said, it only takes a few more thrust before he comes undone. “Pull out,” I whine, trying to push him off of me.

“If I did I wouldn’t be able to mark you as mine.”