#people are actually. tbh. too worried about Tim being home alone

[twistpixel]

This is more Tim unliking and it’s a fandom gripe okay so shoot me take my blood whatever but the tim’s absentee parents thing like. Do you know how much it is to find childcare when you’re poor. Do you know how many poor latchkey kids exist. Tim parents in either upper-middle class or 1% flavor getting portrayed as criminally negligent. Yet another thing he steals from the us, poors <- drinking hatoraid. 11 year old unpaid babysitter of several younger kids flavored hatoraid.

[kpopcotton]

Simply Soft ~ WAYV ver.

a/n ~ i figured that i would make this scenario ot21 (so expect nct 127 to be next!). here are their favorite things to do with you! • Prompt: ten’s instagram lives because he is babie • Genre: platonic fluff, bullet point scenario, wayv member!reader • Warning(s): strong desire to be a part of wayv • Reader Gender: gender-neutral

==≎==

Kun

he does not pick favorites, but if he did you would most definitely be the top of the list ngl

he has reasons lined up whenever the other members call him out on favoring you

1) you listen to him the most out of everyone

and 2) you don’t call him old very much which he finds extremely pleasing

3) you also offer to help him whenever he needs it and he cannot help but adore you for it

honestly would die for you, that’s how much he cares

always doing what he can for you

if you asked him to skydive out of a plane, he would do it at least ten times

he’s known you for a while as well so he’s always looking out for you

loves getting your input on things

if he’s making dinner he will bombard you with questions like “what do you want to eat?”, “does this need more seasoning?”, “have you eaten much today?”, or  “do i need to make a lot?”

wants you to feel included since you haven’t always been a part of wayv (you debuted with them at a later date)

will bring you with him everywhere if you’re up for it

grocery shopping, the mall, downtown to fun food stalls, every tourist attraction ever...

you name it, you and kun have been there

honestly, the best mom friend because he always pays for everything and makes sure you’re having a good time

however, his favorite place to go with you is the studio

you two just vibe

he says you’re very inspiring

enjoys making music with you next to him

finds your talents very exciting and will hype them up a lot

will sometimes have you sing or rap (maybe play an instrument if you can) so he can put it into his mixer and make a song with it

shows off all the things you make together to the rest of the guys so they can compliment you as well

overall a very considerate guy when it comes to your place in the group

wants the rest of wayv, and the fans especially, to love you as much as he does

he is always making you feel good about yourself

“you deserve to be here just as much as the rest of us, y/n.”

==≎==

Ten

stage ten clinger

loves you to the moon and back

finds you to be the cutest thing on planet earth and would, like kun, die for you

you could be the most cold-hearted savage and he would be cooing at you like he would a newborn

loves being around you but will give you space when you need it

can read you like an open book

always touching you in one way or another when he’s close enough

poking your cheek, leaning onto your shoulder, linking your pinkies, snuggling himself tightly against your side, you name it

though if you express a distaste for skinship, he’ll try to tone it down

he just wants you to be comfortable

always trying to teach you things

tried teaching you dirty phrases in thai but kun-mama found out and shut that shiz down real quick

moved on to teach you choreographies

it’s both fun and has the kun stamp of approval

you both try out every genre of dance under the sun

enjoys ballroom dancing with you, particularly when you both waltz around the room perfectly to the beat

keeps trying to get you into salsa dancing so he can see your hidden sexy side

a brat when you don’t listen to him

his all-time favorite dances are the ones where you two essentially just mess around

sometimes you both watch tik toks and try to learn the dances

tries to follow the dance to candy by doja cat because he loves the part where he can throw it back when she says “sweet spot”

wants you to do it with him and record it

will beg

if you do, he won’t stop talking about it

if you don’t, he won’t stop talking about it

essentially it’s a lose-lose

on another note, when he teaches you new choreographies, he’s very supportive and helps you when you struggle

never tells you directly what you did wrong (if you do anything wrong), but gives you hints so you can figure it out yourself and learn

gives you hugs when he feels you’ve done a good job (which is every time you dance tbh)

tries to kiss your cheeks in congratulations

“c’mon let me give you a kith!~”

==≎==

WinWin

the fans think he hates you

and when you first met him, you thought so too

but he was just a shy bean because he wanted to seem like a cool guy

he’s someone you can trust with your life

you two just click in a way that doesn’t need words

not going to name names yuta and taeil but people are jealous of the close bond you two share even though you haven’t known each other for long

many say you’re soulmates

he doesn’t do much with you because he just likes to relax on his days off, so he prefers when you both get to hang out around the house

his favorite place to chill with you is on the floor of the kitchen

he’s not one to express when things make him upset or if there’s something on his mind

he tends to suppress his emotions until they get to be too much

so one time, everything got to that tipping point and he couldn’t help but sit on the kitchen floor and have a good cry

you found him just as the last tears were falling

you could see he had been off the days leading up to that moment so you understood the reason

you sat next to him and wrapped one of his hands up in both of yours, much to his surprise because he had previously thought he was home alone

you both sat there in silence until he rested his head on your shoulder and thanked you in his tiny voice

now, whenever you guys hang out, you sit in that same spot on the floor

sometimes you sit in silence, other times you explode with conversation, sharing hushed complaints or secrets

and you always hold hands, sicheng demands it (silently)

in conclusion, winwin is the best boy and just likes to vibe with you

“you. me. kitchen floor therapy.”

==≎==

Lucas

one word to describe lucas with you

adorable

a total puppy around you and always smiling. he will follow you around like ten but doesn’t want to be clingy

if he can’t see you, he’ll ask where you are without a doubt

if you’re right behind him when he’s asking about your location, surprise him with a hug and he’ll just melt

hug him in any form and he’ll melt actually, he just loves the feeling of your arms around him

that being said, he absolutely adores when you cuddle with him, hold him in your arms, or just sit next to him in general

*chicken hand meme*

lucas is a very touchy person and loves to be close to the ones he cares about

makes sure you sit next to him for e v e r y t h i n g so he can do what he does to everyone who sits next to him, make his hand look gigantic while resting on your knee or thigh

at first, you didn’t really know how to act when his hand just straight up blanketed your thigh at the airport while the group was waiting for a flight

you made a weird noise in the back of your throat that could have sounded like a moan if you really wanted it to

fans have the moment forever caught on camera and you hate it

you wished you would have reacted more,, calmly to the contact

people always talk about it (the number of twitter posts is insane)

you asked lucas why he does it and his explanation was so cute that you didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop

he said that it was his way of making sure that you were there and it comforts him when there are a lot of people around

however, nowadays you don’t even notice when he does it

you find his habits endearing and don’t even bother worrying about it because all he wants is to show you he cares

basically, lucas finds your presence comforting and wants you to know it,, subtly

“stick close to me, okay?”

==≎==

Xiao Jun

literally the sweetest to you

very quiet around you but you know he cares a lot through the way he acts

it’s like he can read your mind, that’s how in tune he is with your emotions

another member that can read you like an open book

you feel the slightest chill and he’s already there with jackets or hoodies in any color under the sun

like a protective older brother

always ready to save you from yangyang

he confessed it was something he enjoyed doing immensely  

one time in the summer, you and yangyang decided to have fun on a day off and play outside with water guns

whoever got shot first would lose

obviously, neither of you planned on losing so you played like you were in an american war movie

twenty minutes in, yangyang proposed a truce from behind his post and came out into the open

you didn’t trust him but you decided to let your guard down for just a second 

which was a mistake

yangyang wasted no time aiming at you and shooting in your direction, only for dejun to come out of nowhere and take the shot to the chest

he was very dramatic about it, though you all were at that moment

*cue actor xiao jun*

he coughed while he lay on the ground with a soaked shirt, you were quickly down by his side demanding why he did it

he conveys it was the right thing to do, and it was his time

*cue his “death” and you yelling at him*

you avenged him by spraying yangyang in the face when he was bent over laughing at the scene

xiao jun doesn’t have a designated favorite activity to do with you, he just likes being someone you can rely on to protect you

even if that includes being a human shield for yangyang’s pranks

“don’t worry, i’m here.”

==≎==

Hendery

the crackhead duo

the other group members look on in confusion when you guys start screeching about something

you find something that you both deem funny and then you go into your own world to make jokes and laugh about it

you both have random ticks that you do together

there are plenty of videos, and i mean plenty, where you and hendery are in the background doing something weird in complete synchronization

one video shows you and hendery sitting in the back of the car while kun and winwin sit in front of you

you made a weird noise by accident but hendery made one back so you both just nodded at each other at the same time like some unspoken agreement was come across

another video of you guys exploring tourist attractions shows you and hendery doing a random dance together in the background before you both stop and point to a digital billboard with wayv on it in sync

it weirds the other members out but they don’t question it

another member that people think you’re soulmates with

there are times when you say the same thing at the same time, or hendery starts a sentence and you finish it

both of you don’t even acknowledge when it happens, but the group goes wild every time

especially lucas

he finds it to be the coolest thing in the world

loves, loves, loves going to the studio with you to just mess around when you are supposed to be working on the important stuff

you both come up with a new handshake each week to show the guys

the current one is at least thirty seconds long

you two are almost always live on one platform or another, just messing around and talking to fans

you show off your handshake of the week and then get right into dancing to random songs

sometimes you have a chill live (with the handshake as an opener ofc) and answer fans questions 

hendery loves to talk so you guys get way off-topic after each question but neither of you minds

admires when you get excited about anything

has the biggest smile on his face whenever you speak and his eyes never leave your face

always ready to hug you and be super extra when you get serious or act cute in any shape or form

your biggest fan and will not let you speak badly about yourself

“were we twins in our past lives?”

==≎==

YangYang

he’s a brat, but you can’t help but love him

constantly trying to prank you

and find something to roast you about

you prank him back and roast him just as much though

sometimes you team up to prank the other members but even then you both watch your backs in the event of a sudden betrayal

prank wars are common and most of the time kun-mama has to step in to get you two to chill out because you’re supposed to be working professionals

yangyang always whines and says something along the lines of, “as expected from the old man to shut down the kids’ fun.”

you laugh every time because kun’s offended expression is pure comedy gold, but you always hug the poor guy after

you both quote memes and have a plethora of inside jokes that none of the other members get

the amount of unique roasts you both come up with is crazy

you find time between all the pranks and calm periods, to play the game where you go back and forth with savage phrases, replying “of course”

moments of peace are rare but when they come around, you and yangx2 are the cutest, most relaxed babies to ever be baby

though he would never admit it to your face in a million years, his favorite moments with you are the ones where you come across a truce and you both let your guards down enough to be extra clingy

you either hang out in his room or yours and relax on your bed

you watch movies, play games, have deep talks about the future, wrestle and play fight, or even nap if you’re both up for it 

though make sure you wake up first because yangyang won’t hesitate to draw on your face

sometimes he forces you to lay on his chest so he can hold you close

will become a flustered mess if you try to get him to be the little spoon or even mention how cute he is for wanting to cuddle

he will complain about your teasing but doesn’t do much about it except tickle you

“come on, just let me like,,, relax or something!”

[burningartwork]

Top 7 things to think about in a Nightwing movie

(VERY long but educational to new Nightwing fans. lol)

So…

It has been announced that they recruited director Chris McKay to direct the Nightwing movie! You may have known Chris from his latest works with Lego Batman.This both excited me and worried me. On the one hand, you have a guy that understands comedic timing and for the most light-hearted of the Robins, who loves to quip and make jokes while crime fighting, that understanding will FINALLY give mainstream audiences a potential glimpse into the comic book version of Nightwing.

Up to date, the best Nightwing (to me) that has ever been in non-comic book format has been Nightwing in Arkham Knight and probably Dick in the recent series of Batman themed movies involving Damian Wayne. (Ironically, these are the costumes I despise the most but the characterization is on point, especially in AK.)

Some people might like Dick in Young Justice but honestly, this one felt more like a fusion of Tim Drake & Dick Grayson to me, (the brainy, geek-hacker is more of a Tim thing, tbh) that left the ACTUAL Tim, feeling very flat. Yes, that Dick was kinda funny but not in the same teasing style as Dick should be. (My opinion) That being said, comic book Dick is the most charming mo-fo you’ll ever meet and surpass in leaps and bounds (hehe) Batman in likableness. On the other hand, the fear that I get is that Dick is such a strange balance of serious and funny, cocky and humble, confident while being insecure that such a nuanced character can be a difficult thing to full off.

You can’t go for straight out funny like Robin in the Lego movie or a joker like Spiderman or Deadpool. This strange chemical concoction that is Nightwing’s personality has to be handled right if you want a version that can please hardcore Nightwing fans & newcommers.

So… here are my top 7 things to consider when making a Nightwing movie.

#7 - Villains, what are they good for?

Absolutely everything… well, not everything but they are key ingredients to tell a good superhero story. It’s hard to get invested with weak villains. The only issue with Nightwing is, that unlike Wonder Woman, the Flash or the rest of JLA, he doesn’t really have his own Rogues Gallery.

He heavily borrows from other titles, (especially Batman, obviously) to flesh out his stories. Being a founding Batfamily member, & founder of the Teen Titans/Titans who, they themselves,  are extended characters from other titles, Dick has faced off with street level thugs & gangsters to inhuman/meta-humans & aliens. His most prolific battle has been with Deathstroke who actually started out a Teen Titans villain. This hit Nightwing especially hard since Deathstroke’s aim was infiltration of his team via a member of the group. For a solo Nightwing title, determining the villain will matter HEAVILY of what kind of story you want to write for him: Street level Batman'esque or inhuman (which he does kinda often actually).

So casting a villain should only be done after figuring out what kind of story to use.

I know that seems like a “duh” kinda of concept, but it’s not necessarily forced to happen that way. You can have a villain in mind and weave out a story around it but Nightwing’s villains have too much range. You know Superman is going to fight aliens or metas, you know Batman is going to fight criminally insane people. With Nightwing… it’s up in the air.

#6 - This is the story of my life!

Dick Grayson is probably the most (or at least one of the most) constantly evolving characters in the DCU. It’s much easier to evolve a character in a permanent sense when they start off as kids and Dick Grayson was Batman’s first Robin after all. Actually, he wasn’t just the first Robin but he was the first side kick EVER. Batman was created in 1939 and Dick Grayson popped up as Robin in 1940. I’ll give you guys a minute to do the math on that…

Done? Yeah, Dick Grayson is

77 YEARS OLD

He spent a huge portion of his existence in limbo like many comic book characters do (which is why his Robin persona is still so popular) but the shift into Nightwing came only in the early 1980s. Where evolving him past Robin became a means to refresh the Batman series. Dick separation from Bruce and his evolution into Nightwing is a permanent point in DC publication which also does the job of permanently aging him as well. (and also reestablished any Robins that come after him.) Dick was a kid or tween when he started with Batman and now due to his evolution is always in his early 20s when any DC reboot happens and has more often than not, has already left Batman which makes his comics to focus quite a lot on “coming of age” super-hero styled stories when he breaks away from his childhood and becomes his own hero.

What should and probably will happen is that we’d get a brief look into into his Robin history (which, frankly wasn’t all that interesting) and start us off in his mantle but Dick as Nightwing is faaaaaar more interesting.

… I mean, yeah, honestly guys, who cares bout his Robin days? But which of these stories would make for a good introduction to character with this much history? If I had to do this, I would forcibly make it: “Nightwing year 1”

Just for the sake of context and introducing new people in the idea that Batman has had more than 1 Robin in his life. Him getting his vigilante name, him dealing with leaving Batman & stopping a threat to a new city that he adopts which leads us to….

#5 - Location, location, location

So, we all know 2 things: Gotham Belongs to Batman and Robin lived with him. Granted, he has lived alone in other places like New York & Chicago and was even a globe trotter for a while during his “Grayson” run. So what should be the most ideal setting if you want to distinguish Nightwing & Batman from eachother?

Bludhaven

Bludhaven is NIGHTWING’S city. It was made FOR him. Bludhaven is sister city close to Gotham but not quite in its range.

Here’s a Wiki description of the city because it’s so precise I couldn’t write it better myself:

Once nicknamed, “Asbestos Town, USA,” Blüdhaven started out as a whaling town, rapidly giving way to highly industrial sectors which then fell into urban decay as businesses collapsed or moved out of the area during the Depression. It’s infamous for its somewhat rank odor and high crime rate. Approximately 33 minutes’ drive from Gotham City, Nightwing moved here initially to help Batman solve a string of murders related to a thoroughly corrupt police force, only to remain there to carve out his own reputation away from either Batman or the Titans.

Asbestos town… geeze. It makes Gotham look like Metropolis.

Bludhaven already feels like a different place based on the name. It’s an industrial port town so the possibility of illegal activities feels even more likely. Consider things like weapons/drug trade being easy to circulate in a place where lots of boats dock from far off places. Nightwing’s city should be HEAVILY worked on for this project. When you consider the names DC uses for it’s cities, Bludhaven already makes you think: “Man, this town is pretty bad” without context and I think it’s important that like Gotham or Metropolis, it has to take on a character. Especially since it’s never been portrayed in live action before. Bludhaven would be making it’s cinematic debut along with the Nightwing mantle. Make it a place Nightwing FEELS he need to be in to protect but also a place worthy of him calling it home.

#4 - Two’s company, the Batfam’s a crowd.

Now, I saw lots of people getting excited over the prospect of getting other characters in the bat family involved in the Nightwing movie and it’s a fair assumption to make: Nightwing isn’t Batman. He’s a team player and never has beef with getting help. He might not want to at first if it’s dangerous but I find he tends to cave super easily when pressed and knows he can rely on his allies (He’s no fool!) but we have to watch out about this because of this problem:

Nightwing’s personality is a very accommodating one.

Like I mentioned, he plays VERY well with others. This unfortunately also makes him fall into the background very often when characters with more abrasive or loud personalities come into the picture. He can do fairly well with funny characters but also sort of syncs into their groove. (Actually, him and Barbara Gordon aka Batgirl/Oracle are probably best suited to work against eachother since their banter is an even match of quips and sarcasm which is more like a mirror and reflects how silver tongued the bird boy can be.)

If they want to make it a Nightwing movie, theycan’t use it too heavily to introduce new characters into the cinematic universe like they did with “Bad Blood …I honestly, find it strange when people tell me that the movie Bad Blood is a Nightwing movie. I… I can’t consider it a Nightwing movie when, #1, he’s playing Batman, #2 when his turmoil over the Batman mantle happens off screen, #3 when Batwoman & Batwing take over 50% of the story (I’d argue that Batwoman is the star of this movie).

Introducing too many first time screen characters drowns out Dick because he wants them on his team so badly and it’s important that he is front and center for hi titular movie. This is especially true for Batman himself and Bats should be restricted to flashbacks or origin storytelling… At best 1 or 2 characters should be more than enough… not that there’s a Robin that’s active or anything…

(if you want to see my "Robins” movie idea called “Flight of the Robin” which would add Jason & Tim back into the setting, then feel free to look here: Flight of the Robin )

If they want to have Nightwing in a place of importance or leadership then make a Teen Titans/Titans movie or something but make his solo title about him.

#3 - ♪♪ IIIIIIII want to swiiiiiing from the chandelieeeeeeeerrrrrr ♪♪

He flies through the air with the greatest of eaaaaase, the daring young man on the flying trapeze! His moves are so graceful, the girls he did sway, my heart he has stolen awayyyyyyyy!

Yeah so…

Dick’s a circus acrobat.

Most people know this story but I’ll refresh (skip if you know):

Once upon a time, there was a cool circus by the name of “Haley’s Circus”. It traveled the country showing off it’s amazingly talented acts which included the world famous trapeze act: “The Flying Graysons”. The members of the act were a family: husband John, wife Mary & son Richard “Dick” Grayson. They were especially famous for doing their act without the use of a safety net. One day, Haley was extorted by a gangster named Tony Zucco then subsequently threatened when Haley refused to bend to him. So, to show that Zucco meant business, he sabotaged the ropes that held the trapezes and when Dick’s family went to perform, both his parents fell to their deaths. This was not any night however, for that night, Bruce Wayne just happened to be in the audience, feeling sorry for the poor lad, he decided to take him in as his ward. Having been witness to the extortion, Dick decided to take revenge on Zucco and ran off in the middle of the night to get leads on his parents’ murderer. Eventually, Dick discovered (or was told) that Bruce was Batman and Bats seeing Dick recklessly plunge head first into danger, decided to let him in on his vigilante life style so he could properly deal with the death of his parents in the way he never could. Thus the dynamic duo were born!

There are different versions of the story but that is the general gist.

What I’m trying to say is, Batman and Robin are night and day, that much I think everyone can agree on, but that Robin, the one who set that standard, was Dick Grayson and thankfully, that personality he gave to Robin stuck with him into Nightwing. So the way he moves, the way he fights & the way he “heroes” isn’t Batman-like. More often than not, Dick will JUMP into the fray. This is what he did with Batman after all, and it seems like that habit never left him. It causes him to get into sticky situations, buuuut that’s sort of what we like to see. How his very creative mind gets him out of a bind. So the sneak in the shadows and wait for the right moment only really happens when he already knows he’s over his head. But Nightwing is extremely creative with his environment and uses that to defeat foes very often. Not being as bulky as Batman this makes his punches softer BUT his body type also promotes the acrobat in him. His panels in the comics, more than any other, involve constant motion and tactful, on the fly reading of the situation and the fact that his agility gives him time to avoid damage and think his way out of his problems makes him more unique.

Here are a few examples of Nightwing/Dick Grayson movements:

Old school I don’t need luck You fight like Jazz

Midnighter says it best:

“Disciplined but not adverse to improvisation… you fight like Jazz.”

So you have to understand… that no matter how BADLY they botch this up as long as they retain the distinct acrobatically visual, creative, Jacky Chan'esque style of Nightwing’s fighting style, I’ll have been happy to have seen this movie. I NEED them to focus on the Acrobat. Dick has been quoted as the most agile character in the ENTIRE DC Universe. If they don’t have actual acrobats working on stunts and a lead that can at the very LEAST keep up with some basic fighting style that marries with the acrobatics… then I’ll consider this whole project a complete botch up.

#2 - So ya wanna be Dick Grayson huh?

We are now at a point where casting here MUST depend sorely on 3 factors:

Can you be funny & charming without being obnoxious?

Can you do drama & allow yourself to portray a character filled with, insecurity & empathy?

Are you handsome & is your ass on point?

I know the last one seems EXTREMELY SHALLOW but there are not a lot of DC Superheroes that have been called out on their hotness. You’d think:“Bruce Wayne is!” Actually…not as much as you think. Charming, totally but handsome, that has been left to interpretation… lots of heroes give off the vibe but are never really stated as such.

Not Nightwing.

Dick’s handsomeness once made a girl fall off her motorcycle… I’m not joking: Here there Dick’s ass is canonically seen as amazing in continuity now. Here’s Midnighter again, recognizing it: Dat ass Here’s just some gratuitous exposition: Are you paying attention? And here’s Grayson wondering the why of it all: What’s the fuss?

And unfortunately, to please the people who have been wondering WHO would be so damn worthy to play a handsome guy who looks like a model but doesn’t seem like a complete douchebag feels jarring and nearly impossible. (I lost my pick to DC already.

Tyler Hoechin has the charm & the butt but is the Superman of the Supergirl TV show.)

So this actor NEEDS to have a decent appeal all around the board for guys and girls. (I would NOT want to be the casting director for this.) A script that is a bit funny and coy but still serious? They have their work cut out for them…

#1 - Who art thou Nightwing?

I’ve discussed here and there Nightwing’s personality. Classically, he is an upbeat character but the nuances that stem from him can be somewhat conflicting. Yes, there is the ever present humor and charm but Dick rcan be a “big brother” to the other Robins & had as surprising amount of empathy & humbleness despite his arrogance. Without the other birdies to care for, he is still a social butterfly and will not hesitate to make connections. He gives EVERYONE a second or even third chance even when they wrong him and this can be troublesome for him too since doing so, often allows him to lower his guard and he can get potentially hurt by the people he puts his faith in.

If Superman is “hope” & Batman is “Justice” then Nightwing is definitely “Trust”

That being said, betrayal is most probably in the cards if they know this about Nightwing. Writing this character without making him too arrogant or too naive can be extremely hard. (Though I say, write him as the uber dork he is) DC NEEDS to get comic writers on this and the script and more importantly, the dialogue will set the tone of the character but it needs to come off kind but confident, cocky but insecure about his role as a Superhero, humble and willing to openness … But the big question is will they use comic book Nightwing?

Will we, the readers, finally get a version that runs close? It really depends on what they have planned and if DC plans to shoehorn in other tie-in projects to Nightwing. It all starts with the script. It all starts with how much heart they will be able put into this project and how tightly knit a story they want to do with him. They can’t mess this up, the way they have with other characters because Dick is a REACTIVE character and who he is will adapt to the situation he is placed in.

I just hope, it’s a good one.

[ishmybanannas]

@taylorswift @taylornation Hi Taylor, So at first tonight just started off with me being bored, doing hw, and singing to your songs. But then this damn song happened - I knew it was going to bring tears out but I wanted to sing it outloud before I became a complete mess tonight. So I'm taking you way back to 2006 when my respect and love for you started. (Yes Taylor, you and I have been best friends for about 12 years now ♥️) I want you to know these are good tears - these are not the same tears I cried when I first heard this song the week before my birthday(12/12/90) -i think it was like around Dec 3-9 2006 to be more precise. I was studying for my finals and I was bored of the songs on my iPod (those freaking chunky heavy freaking iPod). So I decided to look up new songs to listen to and came across your song "Tim McGraw" from the list. I actually heard "Tim McGraw" from a girl I ran against at the League Championship for XC (cross country). So that December night I decided to download your whole album to listen to the rest of your songs. (Anyone remember limewire or the other one that starts with an R it was like Rapsody(?)) I had it on shuffle and what do you know "Tied together with a smile" played first. It felt like at that very moment in my life the universe knew I needed to hear this song - loud and clear - because this is how I felt. I was struggling about how: - I needed to be strongest for everyone because I was the "independent" child (can't complain you dont have any real pain or struggles you're only 15 you don't know what "real" life problems are yet, don't feel anything, don't have feelings, and if I did have feelings they don't matter because I'm strong) - I needed to be perfect for everyone to like me (hair, face, body, makeup, the newest clothes, best kind of shoes, shiny/flashy accessories) - I needed to have straight A's for my parents to be proud and approve of me (youngest out of 8 so "definitely" should know what's right from wrong - no room for mistakes especially if my siblings made them already, and oh can't forget youll be cleaning up their mistakes - yup I've been babysitter since 3.5 years old) - I needed to win first place on every race so I was recognized(the temporary happiness of being acknowledge/noticed for something I actually loved doing) - I needed to run every mile faster so I didn't lose "focus" ( stay thin, stay popular, stay smart, stay "what the world thinks" you need to look like to be considered beautiful as a freaking 15 year old) - I needed to be thin so I can be the most popular (everyone "knows" you, talk about you, want to be "friends" with you, hang-out with you to use you) - I needed to be pretty so I can have friends (99% were just people taking advantage of me - "can I borrow your notes I forgot mine at home", "can I come too - but I'm broke so can you spot me for now", "can you introduce me to blah blah blah", "can you fix this for me") - I needed to be this or that for whatever crappy reason everyone around me had drilled into my head. I was struggling with an eating disorder (ran more miles instead of eating), body image distortion (photoshopped/edited pictures to what I thought the world sees as beautiful), and I was lacking every confidence and strength my whole world at that time thought I had (I had been broken and no one cared to stop to ask). All of this was never voiced outloud at that time because I had A smile on my face. Because I had a very "dominant/independent" kind of personality/trait. BUT was it wrong to wish one of my best friends or family members to tell me that it was okay to be exhausted, frozen, lost, and broken BEFORE Taylor did? I do remember asking people for help but it was brushed off as if he or she never believed that I - Ana - could have any issues or problem because "my world was oh so perfect." I heard excuses like "you're only 15 what would you know about REAL life issues" or "what, you're the team captain and a straight A's student what could possible be wrong in your life" or "don't worry everyone knows you - you have lots of friends here but don't say too much because you know words travel fast" or "you're already pretty and popular I'm sure that guy will date you" or "don't worry it will be over tomorrow" Well guess what - yes I was 15 but I wasn't dumb and stupid. I was 15 feeling so alone and afraid because everyone and everything around me is so crazy and confusing - I didn't know how to slow it down! I was 15 and I know about "real life" issues like the one I was having about feeling alone, not loved, used and abused, issues dealing with anorexia and body distortion. Yes, I was team captain and I got straight A's BUT that was because I worked so damn hard for it! Yeah a lot of people knew me but NO ONE ACTUALLY took the time to get to know me aside from the labels and rumors going around school. I didn't want to be loved because I was "popular and pretty" - I wanted to be liked and loved because the person saw who I am as a WHOLE - as a human being and not as a trophy or object. And excuse my language but FUCK NO problems/issues do NOT go away in one night - sometimes it takes more time; years even (I'm 27 now - all of this happened was 12 years ago). My smile wasn't suppose to be the ribbon that held me together - my smile was suppose to be the actual reflection of my life - of me! So @taylorswift thank you for writing and singing this song. This song was the beginning of the many broken pieces being placed and glued to where they belong in my life. This song made me feel the type of "okay" I never knew exsisted. This song helped me begin to reconsider what was more important - the world's excuses and negative opinions or ME - myself - my life. Well as you can see I chose me. Becsuse YOU @taylorswift taught me to know that IT WAS OKAY to sometimes literally pick yourself over the world when the world was not making you feel welcomed and loved. That it was okay to finally protect yourself and fight for yourself against some people who you thought were your closest friends AND family members too. You taught me to EAT !!!! You taught me TO STOP running - literally the miles (to gain weight) and from my issues. You taught me balance. You talked to me through this song and I can never thank you enough from the bottom of my heart - you saved me in more ways than you'll ever know. So to recap why I'm crying in this video - they are tears of happiness and respect for myself - to know how far Ive come since those freshman days/nights. You let me be broken just so I can find my path to being the WHOLE human being I was meant to be. You came into my life at the right time and just when I needed someone the most (anyone - but glad it as you that showed up)! Thank you. Ana #tbh #tookme2HOURStoPRESSpost 🙈 #supernervousabouthispost #themostDETAILSiveeverposted #mylife #imattertoo #finallyfree #thebeginningofmyclosure #survivedbecauseoyou #realty #taylorswift #taylornation #reputation