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Why I’m A Hypocrite And My Challenge With Mental Energy
I’m a hypocrite. There, I said it.
Leadership, both personal and professional, is an energy game. But it takes more than physical energy for peak performance. Leaders need abundant physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy to manage their stress and perform their best. And just like professional athletes, leaders need to train properly, regularly and on purpose to achieve the results they’re after. I help leaders do just that in Lunch & Learns, half-day workshops and even 8-week online courses.
So here I was—teaching leaders how to balance their energy—yet grinding my teeth at night. Waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing, thinking about work and then getting up at 3am to answer emails. Snapping at my team for no reason, putting undue pressure on them.
I’m Good at Talking the Talk, But I Haven’t Been Walking the Walk
I was not walking the walk and practicing my own teachings. It was time to step back and assess what was going on. I was totally out of whack! So I did an energy assessment of myself, just like I would for a client.
My Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Energy Level Assessment
• Physical: I eat well and exercise regularly. My recent check-up showed that I had the physical energy of someone a decade younger.
• Emotional: My EQ is fairly high. When I’m not stressed, I can manage difficult situations and people with empathy and patience.
• Spiritual: I know my values and refer to them regularly.
• Mental: I have the attention span of a flea; I can’t focus on anything for more than a few minutes, and my brain is on constant overdrive. No surprise that this is my weakest area. In fact, my husband calls me a shark, because I literally can’t sit down for more than an hour without jumping up to do something.
I Have the Attention Span of a Flea
Hmmm.. this is going to be a challenge. Ask me to run a marathon and I’ll train daily for it. Tell me to go gluten-free and I’m on a baking frenzy. Offer me the chance to work with emotional teams and I can’t wait. Tell me something ‘can’t be done’ and I will find a solution or at least a work-around. Yet, invite me to sit and read a book? I read the first chapter and then the last chapter (no joke) to save time. Buy me a cuppa? I’ll start getting antsy after 30 minutes. So working on my mental energy to improve my focus is going to be hard.
Very hard.
My Shark-Like Behavior Was Impacting My Family and Team
Yet I had to do it. Not only was my shark-like behavior impacting my sleep, it was also impacting my team and family. In addition, I felt like a total hypocrite. It’s like Ellen Page saying she had to come out while filming Freeheld; I can’t teach energy management and not practice it myself.
So where to begin on this journey?
I Started With My Limiting Beliefs
First, I had to look at my limiting beliefs, or the things I thought were true that held me back from changing my behaviors. In general, our society is addicted to activity, and rewards constant busyness. We applaud the person who pulled the all-nighter; we recognize the person who stayed late to get the job done. Yet there is no such fanfare for the person who leaves at 5pm; in fact, those people are ridiculed in certain organizational cultures as weak or not team players. In addition, it’s frowned upon to take all your vacation time or take any downtime at all.
This perception is problematic for many reasons but one of those reasons is factual. The University of California put out some interesting research on the upsides of downtime. The research says:
“You can’t think without space. If you’re always doing something, there’s no way to get anything new into your mind; there’s no way to reach new conclusions.”
Why? Because unstructured time stimulates the ‘default mode network’ part of the brain, where creativity and problem solving happen. When we perform any task at all, no matter how small, our brain switches to the ‘executive network control’, which is related to deductive reasoning. So it’s when we sit back and let our minds wander, that the creative ‘default mode’ kicks in.
Even Though I Fully Knew the Benefits of Downtime, I Was at Super-Shark Speed
My limiting belief was that ‘downtime is for wimps’. The research proved me wrong. My mind was buying into the idea but my body was resisting. Even though I fully knew the benefits of downtime, I was at super-shark speed, racing around the house to get things done.
What would I tell a client in my position? I’d tell them they needed to practice downtime.
I’m a kinesthetic learner, which means I need to touch something to learn it well. So I had to find a role model to physically, literally show me what down time looks like. I had no idea how to ‘do’ downtime.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to look too far: my husband. He cherishes his downtime; I don’t mean just an hour here or there. He is fully committed to detox Sundays, where he just kicks back and reads the newspaper…the old fashioned thing made from trees. He totally unplugs and sometimes won’t even get in a car.
I Started My Practice Small, Slowly Building Mental Muscle
So I started small. I sat down for 15 minutes to read a magazine. Then I got up to plan my work for the week. Then I sat down for 20 minutes to close my eyes on the couch. Then I jumped up, feeling guilty that I hadn’t wrapped the holiday gifts. Then I allowed myself to watch a TV show, once all the ‘work had been done’. Little by little, week after week, I taught myself to chill. Stare out a window. Pet our cats. Listen to music. Snuggle in bed with our daughter. Sit on a plane without compulsively checking email. It was torture. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I wanted to do something, anything, please give me a task! Yet, I knew that I was slowly building a muscle, just like going to the gym.
I Taught Myself to Chill
And the impact was clear, both at home and work. At home, I was more patient and easier to be around. I stopped grinding my teeth and actually slept through the whole night. At work, I started enjoying writing again. It was no longer a chore. The ideas flowed out of me and actually became my most popular leadership posts, such as this one on surfing and this one on EQ. And my best product ideas and client ideas came from daydreaming out the window.
The best part? I no longer feel like a hypocrite. I’m a leader who inspires other leaders to manage their energy, all of it, for peak performance.
Do you think you need more practice managing your physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual energy? I’d love to hear what challenges you have and how you face those challenges.
Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.
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Can I get some TransStreamer or TransYoutuber tips? Please and thank you !! ^_^
WHATS up guys BACK AT IT again with another TRANSID TIPS BANGER !!
TRANS - STREAMER / YOUTUBER ...
DAYDREAMING !! I recommend it so so much , daydreaming that you're vlogging your day , that you're irl-streaming when going places ! Just simple everyday things !
It can work in any settings , if you're a student in the middle of class ; studying stream ! If you're on the train ; ' calming irl stream ' , working at your job ; job stream ( these are an actual thing btw , people working and streaming just to have company ! :) )
When playing a game , talk out loud , make commentary of what you're doing !
Can't imagine a twitch chat? GET POGEXT FROM CHROME EXTENSIONS !! It is an add on that is a fake twitch chat that you can set to your preferences ! Here is the guy that made this , give him some love !
Record your morning routines and post them on tiktok ! Add some tags and act really chill / relaxed , tiktok videos for you are like giving your fans small crumbs < 3
Obviously , start streaming on twitch ! Post your funniest moments on tiktok or youtube shorts to attract more people !
Study analytics , there are many free courses online , all to teach you how to know your analytics !
Lastly - remember to be yourself ! Be comfortable with your audience and show future fans that you're worth looking into !
Good luck and Happy Transitioning !
#radqueer#rq 🌈🍓#rqc🌈🍓#rq#transid#pro radq#pro radqueer#pro rq 🌈🍓#pro transx#radqueer safe#.ᐟ my dear corpse ..#radq#radqueer community#radq safe#radqueers please interact#rq community#rq safe#pro transid#transid safe#paraphiles please interact#rq 🍓🌈#rqc#rqc 🌈🍓#pro rq#rq coining#rqc 🍓🌈#transid positivity#transid community#transx#transid tips
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His Eyes Focused On You (L x Reader)
Warnings: NSFW, nothing too explicit, established relationship, etc.
Anonymous Request: i was wondering if i could request something about nsfw interaction with L x reader in an established relationship:“ why are you looking at me like that? ” thank you so much 😊
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It’s a tangle of limbs and half muttered phrases, all of it crooned or muttered in throes of passion. There's bedsheets and pillows, the fragrance of pastries and the stagnant air that accompanies hotel rooms. As you're swept up in the rising heat of frantic touches and lingering kisses, you can barely keep your eyes open, wanting to savor the moment of pure vulnerability.
Your bed partner, all toned muscle and soft grunts, is holding you tightly, almost too tight. The pressure is comforting, making you believe that this is real.
It has to be real.
"Are you okay?"
You can't help but ask, as your back arches off the bed, your chest meeting his eager mouth. His tongue laves around your sensitive skin and his hands, soft finger pads and calloused palms exploring every inch of your body.
At your question, he pauses and his dark eyes meet yours.
Before you had become close to him, intimate in a way that you knew was afforded to few people, you didn't peg him for the type of person to want to get physical with another human being. Of course, you knew that most people had needs. You just assumed that based on his line of work and his preference for privacy, you thought that he would use other means to satisfy his primal urges. And if toys or other sources of stimulation weren't enough, then you supposed that he must have sought carnal satisfaction through sex workers.
For the most part, you were right. As a detective on the move, it was imperative for him to remain loose and detached from others. Sex workers, escorts, and the like could be bribed into silence. Machines and toys could be bought anonymously online. However, months of close relations and intimate conversation had culminated into the slow and steady crescendo of you and your beloved partner finally settling into each other's arms in an erotic dance that had you swaying your hips and falling neatly into his arms.
Over and over again.
Was it purely all physical?
You hoped that this relationship meant something to him. Many days were spent poring over his investigations and most nights were spent in each other’s arms. He loved talking, you knew that, but he also liked observing you. Watching you. Making note of your likes and dislikes, what made you tick, what made you smile that special smile of yours that made him proud.
In turn, you did the same.
You could never fool yourself into thinking that you truly knew every aspect of him, but when you were close together like this, with both your hips moving against each other in unison, sweet friction inciting the embers of passion, you thought you could finally see the man underneath the facade of a cold, analytical character. You had never doubted that he was human, but you never knew that he could lower his defenses to reveal that he was warm to the touch and that his heart beat fast under your touches.
“Are you okay?” You ask again, insistently this time. One of your hands lands on his bicep while the other cups his cheek. It’s intimate, too close to tender and leagues away from pure carnal intent. Often, the both of you would incite foreplay through banter, build up the tension with lingering touches and innuendo and then finally consummate your union. However, it was rare for soft touches that conveyed nothing more than affection and the trust that you had for him.
L, your lover, trusted you enough that you wouldn’t kill him in his sleep.
But L, the world’s greatest detective, only looked to you for help whenever he needed insight on one of his cases.
Having resigned yourself to the fact that this relationship was never going to be in your favor, you would not be surprised if L had decided to shrug away your soothing touches and continued to bring the both of you to completion. You would not lie: you ached for the sweet release of bliss, but you were content to remain connected as is, bodies intertwined and your sweat dripping and pooling together underneath your bodies and soaking into the sheets.
Yet, just when you were about to release L and to urge your hips to move against his, you felt your heart flutter with warmth when he interlaced his fingers with your fingers that caressed his cheek. For a brief moment, his dark eyed gaze kept you entranced, the look in his eyes seemingly expressionless, but the intensity stemming from a passion that you had never seen him display so brazenly before.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” It comes out as a whisper, barely louder than your moans as he leans closer to you, his every movement brushing against your most sensitive parts of you. There’s a broken, jagged edge to his tone, like a porcelain vase that had been broken and sanded down to prevent injury. Scars that never healed right.
L continues to hold your gaze and the grip that he has on your body seems to tighten and grow even warmer.
You’re lightheaded, but still very much aware of your surroundings and of course, L.
“It’s because I love you,” you whisper without any hint of irony or shame. Perhaps if you weren’t naked and swept up in his arms, maybe you might have thought twice about admitting such a thing, but in that moment, you wanted to be true to yourself.
“I love you,” you say again.
L holds you close, his dark eyed gaze never waving before you notice that the lines of his lips have softened and that one corner had lifted into a soft smile. Bending down, he presses a kiss–too chaste for this situation, but so very telling of his true desires–to your temple before he continues his ministrations from before, careful to keep his pace steady and his eyes focused on you.
It didn’t matter if he didn’t say it back.
His actions spoke otherwise.
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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free: https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.
DEATH NOTE MASTERLIST
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Jon, the concept behind the term „anima“, and Carl Jung
This is going to be a small info dump about the term „anima“. Everyone who has finished Sherlock Holmes Chapter One knows that Sherlock calls Jon his anima before they enter the garden.
It‘s an important moment if you (like myself) are struggling to understand what Jon is. Imaginary friend doesn’t quite fit, imo, as Jon is shown to be too independent to be one. Why would Sherlock desperately call for him and ask him to „intervene“, if he could simply imagine Jon at any time? It’s implied that Jon has a will on his own and that his departure is a decision Sherlock cannot simply revoke.
This is where the term „anima“ comes in handy. In the art book, Jon is described at a personification of Sherlock’s survival instincts, his will to live, and his desire to be happy. And this already kinda describes what an anima is.
The anima, in historical philosophy, is the irrational part of the soul, as opposed to the rational mind.
Here are some other definitions which can be found online:
an individual's true inner self that in the analytical psychology of Carl Gustav Jung reflects archetypal ideals of conduct
an inner feminine part of the male personality (I will ignore this definition for now and focus on the less gendered one)
There is also a graphic, which is supposed to describe what an anima (Jon) and a persona (Sherlock) are:
I also found this more detailed explanation, which makes the term easier to grasp:
Picture the surface of the ocean. Above the water is everything you are aware of. Beneath the water is everything you are unaware of. All of it is "you". That water is the line between conscious and unconscious. On the surface of the water is a ship, a big iron-clad battleship for most people. The ship is there to protect the ocean from all the big horrible things outside of it. That's your persona. The persona is like a Navy with a mission to protect the whole ocean. At least, it thinks that is what it is supposed to do. It is led and driven by Captain Ego. It so happens that there's also a submarine underneath the ship. It has the same job as the ship on the surface, except it protects against all the horrible things in the depths of the ocean. This submarine is what Jung called the "anima" […] . The pilot of this submarine, usually opposed in almost every way to Captain Ego is The Shadow. Most of us walk around all day at the mercy of that ego and its persona, except of course when the Shadow rears its face and does something out of the blue that we did not expect.
This figurative ocean already explains Jon‘s nature fairly well - unlike Sherlock (the persona) who faces the outer world, Jon (the anima) protects Sherlock (the person) from what’s beneath the surface. Jon is the irrational part, which wants to forget the traumatic memories, which wants to have fun and enjoy life and which doesn’t prioritise the truth as much as it prioritises happiness and wellbeing.
According to Jung, every person has a persona and an anima. In Sherlock‘s case, his circumstances lead to these two parts of himself being separated from one another so much that they form two whole people. I think it shows very well how much Sherlock wants to distance himself from everything irrational by creating a whole separate person to outsource his irrational parts into.
In this context, the ending and Jon’s departure can be seen as Sherlock picking the truth over his own wellbeing and ultimately severing his ties to the irrational part of himself, which wants happiness. It explains why Sherlock accuses Jon of lying - because coping is not „truthful“ from a rational standpoint. It also explains why Jon seems so unhappy in each ending - because from his point of view, Sherlock has made the wrong decision - Sherlock doesn’t allow himself the „weakness“ of being human and therefore being unable to handle the painful truth. And this explains pretty well why Sherlock’s psyche is so fragile in The Awakened and why he desperately begs for Jon to return. Sherlock cannot handle the horrors he faces without the little, irrational part of himself, which shields him from trauma and does the coping for him. However, submarine under the ocean can no longer be located by him, because he has chosen to no longer listen to it and let it protect his psyche, and the horrors attack him from below the figurative surface (which is funny considering Cthulhu lives under the literal surface lol).
A person cannot be happy if they only value rationality and neglect their emotional needs entirely. Happiness is a feeling, too, after all. And this is the person Sherlock becomes post Chapter One. His pursuit of the truth pushes him to the brink of death multiple times, because without Jon, Sherlock will not pick his own wellbeing over his ideals. No matter what horrors he faces, he doesn’t know when to stop, so he doesn’t stop until he sees the case to the end. He is no longer in touch with the irrational part of himself, which wants to survive.
This lack of survival instinct can be seen in the books, too, imo. Book!Holmes shows no fear of death when facing Moriarty, which in itself is already questionable.
Is it healthy to be excited about dying for the greater cause? I am no psychologist, but that’s definitely nothing I would describe as healthy. There is also the part where book!Holmes describes himself as a brain. Oh well.
I am rambling a lot so I will put an end to this, but I want to conclude that Jon is definitely buried somewhere deep, and he is a very essential part of Sherlock, but Sherlock will definitely need to find a way to reconnect with this part if he wants to be happy. And he better start listening to Jon again, too!
I like to think that he does, at the end. I like to think that ultimately, he will choose himself over everything else and find happiness and peace, because he deserves nothing less.
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Aside from Aaron, which of your characters uses Social Media the most and least?
TY for sending this!! Ooh, I think I'll try to rank them, this'll be fun lol
Aaron - OF COURSE THE NO1. Besides social media being his source of income, he's pretty much always online to follow the activities of all the platforms he has an account on for the reactions, interactions and, naturally, the analytics he receives.
Gina - she's alwaaays looking at what her friends do. Definitely the second heaviest social media user out of my roster. Plus, she also consumes lots of content by content creators (+ an extra fun fact, but she also watches aaronmaze (Aaron's YT channel lmao) pretty regularly)
Devyn - keeps most of his accounts for his inner circle, but has second acc's dedicated solely for tea lol. He isn't the most regular poster on his normal acc's, but good god, he does like to engage with gossip and looks up controversies pretty often.
Maggie - pretty much is also lots on social media, but usually rather in fandom spaces than the very social aspect of it. But she also uses all her social media acc's to promote her OnlyFans.
Emilio - the business accounts are the same as his private ones. So, the acc's that his family and friends follow? They're also his public actor profiles. Mainly uses social media to show himself off, or to slide into the DM's of people he deems attractive or wants to build a connection to. Also loves to keep up with his favorite (and also, hated) celebrities, reposts people in his stories he considers to be idols of his, like soccer players, quotes by philosophers, etc...
Luca - similar to Gina in the aspect that he likes to see what his friends post, but not AS glued to the phone bc he values real life interactions even more. Still appreciates his curated IG feed tho.
Kaia - isn't keen on checking out social media all the time, but she does like to post pics of herself or aesthetic things. She's that kinda user who drops a banger post, and then usually logs out afterwards and comes back like, 3 weeks or months later.
Sharon - not very fond of social media, as in, that she isn't using it herself, cause she's not really interested in most of the features, tho she has lots of (usually catfish) accounts to stalk keep up with some people she knows IRL, or generally wants to know more about. Facebook is her best friend when it comes to that.
Vale - dislikes social media. Actively dislikes it a lot. Hates social media culture even moreso than (most) of the actual platforms, so he stays clear of almost any site except YT, Pinterest or other similar harmless ones. BUT! has a few anonymous accounts without a PFP, just to keep up with the shenanigans of his friends, even if he only rarely logs in.
#also back to vale but you gotta imagine it this way:#if you see luca following someone with like. 0-2 followers or so. no icon. private acc. zero posts. THAT PERSON IS VALE.#oc facts#aaron#gina#devyn#maggie#emilio#luca#kaia#sharon#vale
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Self Publishing Promotion Advice
Once you’ve self-published a book, it can be frustrating to try and get eyes on it. How do you direct traffic to your book on Amazon or any other platform?
What NOT To Do
Never pay for “book promo” accounts or reviews.
These accounts do not attract followers that want to buy or read books in any specific genre, and they don’t curate the books they post. They do not send meaningful traffic to your book. They are a scam and a waste of money.
More info:
Questions To Ask Book Promoters on Instagram
Book Promotion Instagram Scams
Never post a link to your book in an online group or forum without EXPLICIT permission.
The vast majority of forums, subreddits, discords, etc. for writers are constantly getting spammed by people promoting their books. Typically, this is against the rules of that community. Posting in a community in a way that violates their rules is not a good way to build recognition for your name and work. Also, you are not likely to find people who want to read your specific book by shotgun blasting your link around the internet.
Many places do have weekly self-promo threads or other specific opportunities for writers to self-promote. Look for those and be sure to read and follow all their rules. But know that there is still a very small chance that you will find a meaningful number of readers in the population of people who happen to be skimming these self-promo threads, especially ones that are not genre specific.
Don’t push friends and family to buy and review your book.
If people who don’t frequently read and buy books in a certain genre all visit your book’s listing right when it launches, it can confuse the algorithm and keep your book from being shown to the right people. Any money you make off people buying your book out of personal obligation will never amount to much and is not a good use of people’s time, money, or good will.
What TO Do
Make sure your book is attractive
Good cover art and a strong tagline and blurb are critical. No amount of ads, links, swaps, etc. will help you if, once you get that visibility, people don’t like what they see.
Look at the books that are the top sellers in your categories on Amazon. Notice trends and patterns in their covers and blurbs. Do research on what makes a strong blurb. Many online writing communities will give feedback on blurbs (be sure to read and follow their rules before posting!).
There are a lot of free resources and courses out there on how to write a compelling blurb. Here are a few to get started:
Reedsy article
Fix My Story
Blue Ink Review
You can also hire a professional cover artist or someone with expertise in your genre to help you with your blurb.
Learn Amazon and Facebook/Meta ads
Amazon and Facebook ads are some of the most powerful ways to get your book seen by people who are likely to be interested. Like any powerful tool, there is a learning curve when it comes to making them work for you. But time spent learning this tool will ultimately be MUCH more effective than just about anything else you could try.
There are lots of people out there selling courses and books on how to use Amazon and Meta ads. My recommendation is that you start with freely available resources and then decide whether you have specific questions or want professional advice in specific areas. Some people understand the data and analytics dashboards but need help writing ad copy that drives clicks while others might need help understanding how to target ads or evaluate their success.
You can watch videos about it, like this one from Michael La Ronn or this one from David Gaughran.
Or you can follow written tutorials, like this one at Kindlepreneur, this one from Jane Friedman, or this one from Written Word Media.
Start reading and searching around and learn as much as you can. When you are confused about something or find a gap in your knowledge, search for videos or articles that address that particular issue.
When it comes to paid courses, I have personally enjoyed the Ad School course from Bryan Cohen, and I’ve also heard good things about Mark Dawson’s courses. The Self Publishing Titans have pretty great SEO, for what that’s worth. Always check out someone’s free resources and look at reviews of their course on other platforms before dropping big bucks.
Use Author-Specific Platforms To Attract Readers & Get Reviews
There are a number of websites that cater specifically to self published authors trying to connect with readers. Many of them work by letting you offer free review copies to readers who are interested in your genre. They read your book for free, then post a review on Amazon, Goodreads, or wherever else you want them to do so.
These sites do not guarantee readers or purchases just by doing the bare minimum - they are tools to use, and you need to learn how to use them effectively for your purposes. Read their documentation. Join the site as a reader to see what things look like from the other side.
These types of websites often cost money for premium features. Try noodling around with their free version before deciding whether it will be worth it.
Some websites in this vein to check out:
BookSprout
BookSirens
NetGalley
Reedsy Discovery
Run a BookBub ad or promotion
BookBub is a specific website that lets people browse for books on sale. You can run ads on BookBub or use their platform to promote a sale on your book. More here: BookBub Promotion Tools
Use A Free Reader Magnet To Build A Mailing List
The website BookFunnel lets you upload a free book (or novella, or short story, etc.) that people get to download in exchange for joining your email list. This is called a lead magnet or a reader magnet. If you have a good reader magnet with an attractive cover and blurb, and you join the right swaps and promos, you can very quickly build a mailing list.
Fun tip: Since having a cool, genre-appropriate cover is key for this, one thing I like to do for a lead magnet is browse through pre-made covers, buy one I like, then write a novella that fits that cover!
Once your lead magnet is up on BookFunnel, you can use their platform to join “swaps” or “group promos,” where your book is promoted by other people or in conjunction with other similar books. You can also post a link to your mailing list signup/book download page on your own social media or wherever else makes sense.
There are other websites that let you do this too - many of the author promo websites linked above have similar features - but I’ve only used BookFunnel, and I find it very easy to use.
You will also need to use a general newsletter platform like MailChimp to connect to your account, but I find it pretty simple to understand once you’re setting things up. And then, of course, once you’ve built a mailing list, you have to use it effectively!
Resources:
The Ultimate Lead Magnet Guide
How To Use BookFunnel Like A Boss (video)
How To Start & Grow Your Mailing List
Grow An Organic Social Media Presence
This is a tough one, but for some people, can be pretty fun. Figure out which social media platform has the most active readers in your genre - Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok, probably, but different genre readerships tend to congregate on different ones. Look at the social media of successful self published and traditionally published authors in your genre. See what they’re doing and figure out what’s working. Then do that.
Follow and interact with readers and writers in your genre. Create catchy content that fits the vibe of what is working on your feed. Use analytics tools to improve.
There are lots of tools and guides out there to using social media, from gaming the algorithm, using the best hashtags and keywords, posting at the ideal times, and creating the most ‘viral’ content. You can use a program like Canva to create images and videos.
You can go deep down the social media rabbit hole. There are third party services and platforms that let you post different content and compare its performance. The best thing to do is tons of research, then noodle around with the different dashboards and tools available.
How Successful Authors Use Social Media
The Ultimate Social Media Guide for Writers
Social Media Writer Guide
Of course, those links above just scratch the surface of what’s out there. Start working on this, and you’ll soon discover what you need to figure out. Then search for tutorials or guides on that.
Hire Marketing Help
If you are struggling with marketing your book and want to hire a marketing professional specifically to help with this, there are people out there who will lend their expertise to you in exchange for some money.
Know exactly what you want to hire for - design and copywriting to create effective content? One-on-one coaching and tutoring for you on understanding the back-end of running Amazon ads? A pre-packaged ad campaign they’ll run for you?
Be careful that you are hiring a professional with credentials in exactly what you are trying to do - run Amazon ads, build an Instagram following, create frequent click-worthy videos, etc. Do not fall for scammy “publishing services.” Check someone out on Writer Beware and/or look for reviews on other websites (not just theirs!) Ask to see work they’ve done for other clients and their data on how well it worked.
You could look for a social media marketing company like this one or this one - search for digital marketing or social media marketing -, or an author-specific one like the ones listed here. These are all just examples - I don’t vouch for any of these and have never used any of them.
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Once more, I urge people to practice discretion. When you see someone posting something that's very clearly trying to paint Israel as a flawed but decent place and Palastinians as all homophobic whilst ignoring...you know...everything else. I mean, come on people, just because they're saying they're not pinkwashing whilst pinkwashing doesn't mean they're not pinkwashing. Propaganda is not a simple thing, it's not just a thing where people say x, its the deliberate introduction of doubt and ambiguity in an otherwise unambigious course of action (ie. hating Israel makes you bad because they provide haven for a dozen (!!) or so LGBTQ Palastinians despite them committing a fucking genocide against the Palastinians. A fucking genocide. )
I mean, I do find propaganda useful to read, it helps you understand their tricks and helps you know what to look for, but come on, lets not spread it around as if it isn't one tiny ball of shot from a shotgun blast full of scattershot zionist propaganda. And most importantly; when on social media, if you see someone trying to defend the zionist entity in any way, for the love of fuck please take a look at OP. If a pinned post/the first few posts joke about dead Palastinians or there's a whole list of pre-prepared 'both sides' -ing, you know you're dealing with a delusional fuckwit high off their own persecution complex at best.
You don't need genius level intellect and flawless analytical abilities to understand what an actual bloody zionist, one who unapologetically spends their online time shilling for their blood drenched genocidal little settler colony, is trying to achieve by painting defenders of Palastinian rights as deranged extremists who hate all gay people. Like, you know there's a reason that same post railed against accusations of pinkwashing, right? It's not because they care about Palastinians for one thing. Remember, their nasty little settler colony is in emergency mode, they've exhausted themselves, their economy, their military-full of murderous cowards who'd rather snipe children and drone bomb random hospitals are refusing to fight, the Hague has called for their leaders to face a trial for crimes against humanity, NGOs and various other aid organisations famous for their neutrality have broken that to speak out against the horrors they are witnessing, the have nothing left but to convince westerners to stick to their racist instincts so they'll continue propping them up despite their proven unwillingness to stop finding Hamas underneath hospitals, schools, shelters, aid distribution centres, kitchens, mosques, churches, ancient historical sites thousands of years old and more too horrific for me to repeat here. And that's the thing, it'll get worse. Afterwards, we're going to learn SO much more. Remember, the zionists are doing everything they can to stop those images we're seeing getting out so they can carry out their genocide undisturbed, logically speaking what we're not seeing is going to be many many times worse. And I fully believe that the zionists will be doing all they can to prepare for that.
My point is that in the coming months, the propaganda is going to get much much worse and cleverer too. THe hateful little shit leaving death threats in your anons isn't propaganda, that's just a bigot. But the articles going around trying to convince you that the palastinians have bigotry problems in a society that the zionists boast about tormenting, pull up lawn chairs and watch being obliterated? The ones that insinuate you're an antisemite if you disagree? Those are propaganda and you need to be able to know it when you see it and more importantly; stop spreading it -_-;
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I love your blog and recently watched your amazing YouTube essay! In a nutshell it blew my mind. Having the historical context of 2th century Polish history leading up the the publication of this work, in addition to your detailed analysis of Orwellian and Huxlian societies has helped me gain a whole new level of understanding and appreciation for The Witcher.
I read the books years ago and am beginning a re-read. Being someone who didn't receive the most thorough education on reading media critically or analytically as a younger person, and now trying to redress this fact about myself as I read works like this going forward as I approach middle age (I'm a bit of a "late bloomer" in several aspects of my life including building this skill set), I unfortunately missed a lot of allegory and subtext in my first reading. I enjoyed it mostly fannishly and getting into the characters at that time in my life. Your analysis has been really helpful on this journey of getting back into the books.
My question for you is that I've seen a few random references online to people theorizing that the Dopplers are an allegory for the LGBTQIA+ community. However, I've not been able to find any detailed analysis of this possible allegory and only finding people mentioning it in passing on forums and such.
As a reader who is also part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I would love if Sapkowski had intentionally injected allegory and commentary on queerness and the othering of our community in his work, but I'm reluctant to get excited about something that might not actually be there.
Of course I know a lot of these things are up to the interpretation of individual readers. But I'm also extremely curious to know what you think. Are you of the opinion that there is any queer subtext or allegory in the Witcher saga?
Thank you for your time if you get a chance to answer my ask! And thank you as well for your beautiful work on this series so far, I'm really looking forward to more!
thanks! and honestly, though i'm younger i also have a mixed relationship with reading and media literacy. so you're certainly not alone, also related to witcher/all things fantasy and pop culture, i think it's normal to engage with it for only the characters and story, especially on the first read.
as for LGBT subtext in the witcher...
the first thing to acknowledge is that LGBT subtext is preceded by actual LGBT text in the witcher. we already have some lesbian, gay, bisexual characters and relationships, and at least one trans or gender non-conforming, androgynous character.
the second thing to acknowledge is that this text isn't particularly meant to empower or represent, either in a positive or negative light. it's less about actually being LGBT, and more about how LGBT identities have been represented in the genre.
usually, it goes along with the regular practice of the witcher, its "guiding principle" as i might call it, being to subvert reader expectations, parody, or satirize elements and popular tropes of the fantasy genre. so, for example, mistle rapes ciri not because sapkowski wanted to depict lesbianism as predatory -- he wrote it because he was familiar with the trope of female heroines in fantasy being ahem, "claimed" by male warriors, and wanted to subvert this trope by having a woman do it instead.
so, we get a lesbian relationship, that, like the M/F relationships he was referencing, begins with a rape and turns into a romance by the end of it. this isn't to say that this is a logical sequence of events, but just that it was inspired by other texts -- it was never intended as commentary on lesbianism itself, but instead, of some fantasy texts that sapkowski had criticism of.
speaking of the author's perspective... i'm certain that if he was asked about any of this he would say he doesn't have any opinion, but this is just what i'm collecting from reading him... i'll go from best to worst.
(ŚKA = Świat króla artura, HiF = Historia i fantastyka, RZwSJ = Rekopis znaleziony w Smoczej Jaskini)
the good: his opinions on same-sex female relationships are... neutral to somewhat... positive? he seems to correlate lesbianism with feminism (aka political lesbianism). though he's denied identifying with feminists and feminism, saying that he does not intend to appeal to feminists or read feminist publications, in ŚKA and HiF he starts explaining unprompted ideas about the prehistory of matriarchy, associations of magna mater, and the relationship of wicca... and in RZwSJ includes an entire paragraph with recommendations of fantasy featuring lesbian relationships.
so i think any opinions he has about lesbianism are entirely conflated with his ideas of female power and worship, and/or as previously mentioned, challenging fantasy tropes - both are huge themes across all of his writing. which... i guess is a good thing?
however, i think that this interpretation of lesbianism through the lens of politics can be problematic because he fails to understand that a lot of lesbians like other women for kind of the same reasons straight men like them: because they are fucking hot. (but i guess he did acknowledge this a little with philippa and her countess, so whatever)
i'll also allow myself a small tangent about neratin ceka here, because i feel like his representation was not bad at all, and yet he's entirely missed whenever these discussions about sapkowski's views on LGBT happen, probably because no one read as far as past chapter 2 of tower of the swallow.
we even get the joke cliche of "i'm a bad guy, but i'm not a bad guy" with stefan skellen, who fantasizes about banditry and rape, and wants to kill ciri out of reasons of state, but, when he's told that ceka's gender doesn't really matter unless he wants to marry him, its his being a good soldier which counts, skellen's like, "yeah, ok, that makes sense to me, you're right." so the story doesn't make a joke about him at all, only for a moment raising the "what's his gender??" question in the mouth of a villain -- other than that, neratin ceka is treated by the story just the same as all the others of skellen's hanza (well, except for the fact that he was an imperial spy... but see, he was given an interesting role in the story).
anyways, here's the bad: LGBT characters being the butt of a joke, and not even "characters" but the concept of, for example, the only representation of fat GNC women being antagonistic, stupid, and gross (season of storms, the guardswomen of kerack), or homosexual quid quo pro committed by the guy who is so fucked up evil he will do anything to get political influence, including gay sex (season of storms, sorel degerlund) or attempted homosexual rape (narrenturm, the werewolf), or... homosexual sex slavery (lux perpetua, szarlej trying to "buy" reynevan).
it's... cringeworthy. though i will say the last one i mentioned here read like a monty python sketch rather than punching down, it is more making fun of the discomfort of the slavers themselves at the idea of homosexual desire and sex (which is ironic, because... they are slavers).
with an overview here, i feel like in terms of same-sex male relationships, more often than consensual relationships are jokes about rape, situations like pederasty, actual rape but this time treated as a serious threat (it was either in warriors of god or lux perpetua, one of the times in which reynevan was kidnapped). ... i don't know if i can name one positive, romantic gay relationship from any of his writing (whereas i might be able to name a couple of lesbian ones)
at the same time, he's never said that being gay is wrong, immoral, or espoused fears of gay people taking over, which... is notable as we look amongst his contemporaries in the polish SF/fantasy space of the 80s-90s. (that, and that he's so staunchly pro-choice). but that also doesn't make him some champion of LGBT rights, lmao.
when it comes to the subject, i think he is mostly just a contrarian who seeks to challenge conservative sensibilities and what is considered socially acceptable... so this sometimes results in accidental representation, and sometimes it results in offensive situations or "jokes". i don't believe he has an agenda either way for LGBT rights or condemnation, he generally is against oppression of any sort, but he doesn't put himself on the frontlines of advocacy. and at the same time carries his own biases of LGBT topics, some of which i don't agree with. (ik you didn't ask for this whole review, anon, but i wanted to include it to clarify the topic).
so, finally, about eternal flame.
i wrote this out years ago (with more of a gerlion spin to it, and i kind of roll my eyes at it now) but the basis of the dopplers as an lgbt allegory analysis is that:
dopplers are entirely innocent beings which are persecuted for no reason other than they're different, so they change shape amongst society to remain undetected --
and they've done this successfully, so much so that at the end of the story we realize that more people than one might have assumed, including chappelle, the head of the church of the eternal flame (coughs, catholic church, coughs) who was persecuting the protagonists for relation to a scandal involving a doppler, is in fact a doppler himself who took the persona after the real chappelle died two weeks ago.
so... i think that if one chooses to see it, they can -- though i probably wouldn't argue that this is a certain meaning, it's only one possible interpretation.
and again, it's not like positive representation, hah, i think one can draw their own conclusions from that short summary (especially the part about high-ranking priests being gay... hmmm...), but the fact that the dopplers are innocent and being persecuted and tortured for no reason, and we hear tellico's side of this at the end of the story putting them in a sympathetic light, and the entire moral of the story being acceptance of the other (with tellico even being adopted as dainty's cousin, lmao) i find it palatable because of that.
sapkowski has also denied that he includes any allegories in his writing, but because this doesn't make sense when looking at the first/second nilfgaardian war, i think to interpret this more as there is no specific representations of people or historical figures in his writing (the quote went something like "please do not look for the alter-egos of stalin or bierut amongst my characters...") rather than allegories to real life events or social realities, because those he certainly does include.
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what course did u take specifically if u dm me asking :o
i dont have many specifics unfortunately. my brain has always been wired to like all sorts of learning (math, art, writing, etc), so i got a couple math degrees and went into data analysis jobs from there. the path to data analyst though is super varied. I've known people in the field who started with psychology backgrounds, anthropology backgrounds, or even call center backgrounds. data is data no matter where you start, i just happened to start in the most technical spot.
if college is out of the realm of possibilities for you, i would recommend an online course like the google data analytics professional certificate.
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Using Growth Mindset for Career Success
In today’s rapidly advancing world, continual learning is a given. In the future, people are less likely to be hired for what they “know” and more likely to be hired for their ability to learn what they “don’t know”.
Why is continual learning important to you? According to a survey conducted by Evolution:
• 96% people see a positive impact of continual learning on job performance
• 78% people see continual learning as a factor in promotions and career advancement
• 87% people say continual learning correlates with increases in compensation and salary
So how do you create a habit of continual learning? One way is to apply Growth Mindset, which is finding yourself in a new situation and not knowing what to do – but then figuring it out.
What is Growth Mindset?
Growth Mindset a set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself. It influences how you think, feel, and behave in any given situation. People with growth mindset see failure as an opportunity to grow. They see challenges as a path toward growth and let their effort and attitude determine their abilities. They are inspired by the success of their team members and take feedback as a constructive way of improvement.
Source: Fixed v. Growth Mindset. “Mindset” by CarolDweck | Medium |
Beliefs and Behaviors of Growth Mindset Leaders
Leaders with growth mindset put growth first and unite the business goals around it. They back the risktakers, knowing there is a possibility of failure. The focus is toward action rather than perfection. These leaders infuse those around them with a purpose.
What sets a leader with purpose apart from one without purpose? There are three core elements for experiencing purpose: positive impact on others, personal development, and delivery of work through strong relationships. A purpose-driven leader fosters these experiences for her team and has a mission for her work. This mission is something that every team member knows because it’s communicated repeatedly by the leader.
Working with a growth mindset involves delegating work and having confidence in the people around you. Delegation goes beyond just handing off the job. It includes setting performance expectations, accountability, and providing feedback.
Breaking the Fixed Mindset
The most important factor when building a growth mindset is seeing the value in your journey. When the focus is just fixed on the end result, you miss out on all the things you could be learning during the journey.
If you’re not able to perform a certain task or activity, remember that you just haven’t become an expert in it yet. By using the power of “yet”, you can overcome many obstacles. Mistakes are one of the best ways to learn, so, instead of running away from challenges, take them head-on.
Tips to Build a Growth Mindset
Here are three tips to build a growth mindset:
• Counter stressful situations: Much of the anxiety we experience is due to the uncertainty caused by things outside our control. The best way to combat that is to focus on the things we can control – like our effort, our attitude, and how we treat people.
• Adapt to change: Sometimes the wave of change is headed your way full force whether you’re ready or not. You can either let the wave crash against you, knock you down and pull you under, or you can face the same direction the wave is headed and catch a ride to shore. Make the decision to ride the wave and accept the change.
• Keep a watch on non-verbal emotional cues: Often people express one thing verbally, but their body is telling a completely different story. So, focus on the non-verbals while communicating with others.
Have you worked with a colleague or leader who has a Growth Mindset? How did it effect you and the organization?
Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.
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How would the riddlers react to someone coming out to them as trans ? I really love your blog !! always bring me comfort when i feel a little down, so i have to ask this
Unburied - That's awesome! I mean he already hypothesized as such (of course he knows, he can read people like a book), but he waited for you to tell him yourself. So, as much as it is a welcoming feeling for you, he feels just as loved. Someone trusts him enough to open up that very personal aspect of their life to him? He could shed a tear, but he won't. Not the look he's going for.
ZY - Disregard for gender norms and societal pressure to fit into a finite box? That's pretty metal. His core belief is that human progress is all about thinking outside the box, and someone who has the guts to challenge centuries old thinking is definitely capable of such. You've got his respect, that's for sure.
Dano - Oh! Okay, wow. He's a little internet cretin, so he's more than familiar with the ignorant discourse that too many people experience when making the decision of coming out. So, naturally, he is now going to be your own little watchdog online. No, he's not going to tell you, he's gonna do it behind the scenes you might say. Point is, if you decide to come out publicly, no one is going to bother you. For any reason.
YJ - Ah, that's so cool. You trust him enough to present the truth about yourself. That makes him feel super special and warm and fuzzy, and now he's a stuttering mess again. Even goes a little pink in the cheeks. But also, he's a little jealous of your confidence. That's a huge decision! Maybe you could give him some pointers?
Gotham - I see, interesting. Tell him more, if you're comfortable with that? He's such an analytical little bean; he's got to know everything! More than that though, his friend has just released new information to him about their personal life. As such, he needs to file all of it away in his little mental filing cabinet for later use.
BTAA - Ah, congratulations, kid! A metamorphosis, you might say. How artistic! That gives him an idea for his next puzzle!! Next time you see his beautiful face on the news, you can hold close to your heart the knowledge that you and your spectacular story of self-realization played a key role in the creation of his magnum opus.
Arkham - That's great, now help him move this piece of scrap metal out of the way. This Ed is not overly concerned with the details of the human body. Machines are more his speed. Don't mistake the disinterest for insincerity, though. He does care that you thought so highly of him that you would come out to him. He's just emotionally constipated; his own emotions included.
BTAS - Really? How intriguing! Like Gotham, he wants all the information you can give him. Not just so he can say he has the info, he genuinely wants to do everything he can to make you feel comfortable and safe around him.
Telltale - Hm, congratulations. He doesn't even flinch. Grandpa has been everywhere and seen everything. Absolutely nothing phases him. However, does it seem like he's being a little nicer to you lately? A little less grouchy? Probably not, but maybe.
(p.s., I'm really happy for you, anon! You should always be yourself, no matter what that looks like, and I hope the people in your life hold the same sentiment 💙)
#riddler#the riddler#edward nashton#edward nygma#unburied!riddler#zero year riddler#capullo riddler#paul dano riddler#dano riddler#young justice riddler#gotham riddler#btaa riddler#arkham riddler#btas riddler#telltale riddler#riddlerverse hcs#Skye
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as we inch ever closer to pride i am once again thinking about how the great tumblr ace discourse of 2015-2016 has inhibited my exploration of my own sexuality and continues to do so to this day despite my own best efforts and my work with my therapist, who literally specializes in queer sexuality.
like, this isn't to say that i haven't made any progress. on the contrary, my therapist praised me yesterday for being so much more open to exploration and learning things about myself than i was at this time last year; for putting myself out there on hinge as a way of figuring out what i'm looking for in a potential partner; for taking a more analytical look at crushes i've had in the past and crushes i have at present (aforementioned youtuber, for example), as well as crushes i don't have despite my best efforts, to see what they can tell me about what i find attractive and what i should seek out; for reading books she's recommended me on sexuality (i've been listening to the audiobook for mating in captivity by esther perel recently bc the hold i placed on it came through on libby a couple weeks ago lol) and thoughtfully sorting through them for things i find helpful or that i think apply to me. like, progress is being made.
but still, for every step forward i take in this area i feel this apprehension when it comes to discussing it with literally anyone other than my therapist (unless, of course, it's in a long-ass post like this filled with backstory and qualification), because i can't escape the worry in the back of my mind of "not being ace enough." try as i might i still can't shake the fear that if i admit to even my closest friends that i am open to the prospect of having a sexual partner, that there are things i find sexy even if most explicit content squicks me out, that i can in fact (gasp) be turned on - if i admit to any of these things i become one of those people who is actually just straight but identifies as ace because they want so badly to fall under the queer umbrella, because they want so badly to claim oppression and struggle that does not, in fact, belong to them. even though i know in my brain that sexuality is fluid and that it can and does change over time, when i so much as consider the possibility that maybe i am straight or bi now (i don't think i actually am, but sometimes when i'm in these spirals i consider it) - that maybe over the last ten years or so the asexuality of my twenties has morphed into this sort of tentative straightness or bi-ness for my thirties, i worry that people will think i have been lying, to them and to myself, up until now. i worry that my friends will be annoyed or frustrated with me when i bitch about people not tagging nsfw content or fandom twitter being "just straight-up pornography all the time" in public posts and then send them a dm about a piece of fanart that i find titillating or write something a little spicy or participate in a bit of erp.
i am so, so afraid of being seen as a hypocrite, and i don't know how to quell that fear.
i'm thinking about all of this now because i was listening to mating in captivity on my commute to work this morning and it was talking about how difficult it is to talk about sex and sexuality after being raised in a society where you're supposed to keep that part of yourself rigidly private, because of course that's true for everyone who was raised to think of sex as dirty and private and shameful, but sometimes it feels doubly true for me, someone who has cultivated an image of herself as a bit of a prudey asexual. i block nsfw tags, i mute nsfw discord channels, the vast majority of nsfw fanart and fanfic makes me extremely uncomfortable so i try not to engage with it and i do what i can to limit my exposure to it. i often feel alienated in online fandom spaces where it often feels like everything is about shipping and horny-posting all the goddamn time. and with all of that in mind i feel like whenever i do have a less-than-"wholesome" reaction to something, my friends, who know me as a prudey ace, are rolling their eyes at me behind my back. and i can't help but think that i might not struggle so hard with these feelings if not for the "fake ace" discourse that happened right as i was becoming comfortable with identifying as ace myself.
i don't have a nice conclusion to wrap this all up in, lol. i guess it's just frustrating that, even as i explore and learn more about myself and my sexuality, i find it so hard to even casually bring up with even my closest friends because this perceived stigma of "fake asexuality" still clings to me so tightly. it's frustrating that i still have such a hard time feeling "proud" of being ace because part of me is still so convinced i'm a fake.
#and the ace representation that DOES exist in both fandom and queer media does not help any of this in the slightest but#lol that's a rant for another day#asexuality#acephobia#aphobia#negativity cw#long post
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A Step Closer to Success: Decoding Best Digital Marketing Courses in Janakpuri
Did you know that according to a recent study, over 4.6 billion people around the world now use social media? That's a staggering number, and it highlights the immense power of the digital landscape in today's world. If you're looking to leverage this power and propel your business or career forward, then upskilling in digital marketing is an absolute must.
Here in Janakpuri, you're fortunate to have access to a thriving digital marketing education scene. But with so many institutes offering "best digital marketing course in Janakpuri" options, choosing the right one can feel overwhelming. This blog is designed to be your one-stop guide, decoding the top institutes in Janakpuri and helping you find the perfect fit for your learning goals.
Factors to Consider When Choosing a Best Digital Marketing Course in Janakpuri!
Curriculum: Does the course cover a comprehensive range of digital marketing modules, including SEO, content marketing, social media marketing, PPC advertising, email marketing, and analytics?
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Top Institutes Offering the Best Digital Marketing Courses in Janakpuri
Now that you have a clear understanding of the evaluation criteria, let's explore some of the leading institutes in Janakpuri known for their exceptional digital marketing courses:
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Digital Technology Institute (DTI): DTI offers a comprehensive digital marketing course that emphasizes practical application. Their curriculum incorporates the latest industry trends and tools. DTI provides flexible learning options, including classroom and online sessions, catering to diverse student needs.
Digistaan: Digistaan's curriculum covers a wide range of digital marketing topics, with a strong focus on SEO and social media marketing. They boast a 100% internship program, ensuring students gain valuable hands-on experience. Digistaan is a good option for those seeking an internship guarantee alongside their digital marketing education.
Academy of Digital Marketing (ADM): ADM offers a well-structured digital marketing course curriculum designed for students, professionals, and business owners. Their trainers are highly skilled business professionals who bring real-world experience into the classroom.
Beyond the Institutes: Additional Tips for Success
Choosing the right institute is just the first step. To truly excel in the field of digital marketing, consider these additional tips:
Stay Curious and Keep Learning: The digital marketing landscape is constantly evolving. Make a commitment to lifelong learning and stay updated on the latest trends and innovations.
Practice Makes Perfect: Don't be afraid to experiment and apply your newfound knowledge. Build your own digital marketing portfolio by working on personal projects or volunteering your skills to local businesses.
Network and Build Connections: Connect with other digital marketing professionals online and offline. Attend industry events and workshops to build your network and gain valuable insights.
Conclusion
By following these tips and choosing the best digital marketing course in Janakpuri that aligns with your goals and learning style, you'll be well on your way to achieving success in the dynamic world of digital marketing. Remember, the digital marketing industry offers immense potential for growth and innovation. With the right education and dedication, you can unlock exciting career opportunities and contribute to the ever-evolving digital landscape.
#digital marketing#seo#marketing#social media#socialmediamarketing#delhi#digital marketing courses#bestinstitute
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Boost Your Career: Enroll in Online Courses Today google ads
Introduction
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Every day I get more certain that there is no real ship. The members and the company let this shipping thing going on all these years because it benefits them, both in terms of money and being free to date who they want. There are more things that prove Jkk, Tkk or any other ships isn't real than the things that have been interpreted, from us shippers, as being real.
I’m super late on this but when you sent this I started on it, and then was promptly very overwhelmed by a large number of asks and kind of shut down. I found it in my drafts so figured I’d finish and post it, if you still care! Lol. Totally understand if you don’t 🤣
I already know I’m going to ramble so let’s get this out of the way — that’s a perfectly fine conclusion to come to. If that’s how you feel, it’s how you feel. I don’t know the inner workings of KPop marketing, so I couldn’t say whether as a whole they tend to “promote” ships (i.e. fanservice and questionable photoshoot concepts/poses, even mv interactions — is that what you mean?) because it makes them money, or if they follow the fans to see what they’re squawking about online and then serve up content to kind of give the people what they want. In other words, I’m not sure which came first, the chicken or the egg. I think we’d need an industry professional in the KPop media landscape, someone who’s followed KPop a lot longer than me, or at least a blogger more observant and analytical than me to tease that out.
On Jikook specifically — I have a few rebuttals to the idea that the relationship (whether it’s romantic or not) so many of us have clued into is some sort of fabricated marketing scheme. At the very least, it’s not only that. Let’s get into them.
#1: Just because something is marketable doesn’t make it fake.
Are their subgroup photoshoots adorable and thick with chemistry? Yep. Do I think for one moment that there was a BH executive behind the camera telling JK to look at Jimin like THAT? With the slow-gaze drop down to his lips (or his ass)? Idk, to me that’s laughable. He just does. Like, I think two things can be true at the same time: Jimin and Jung Kook can look objectively good together and also be a popular pairing within the fandom and so the company can kind of play into that and promote their interactions, and ALSO they can have a naturally affectionate, long-standing close personal relationship that boosts the chemistry of those interactions. Does that make sense? It’s sort of like when celebrities who are love interests in a movie do a press circuit, and they have palpable sexual tension — that’s half the reason they were cast as romantic leads in the first place — and they also get along really well behind the scenes, because they click and also have spent a ton of time together. Of course the Warner Bros executives or whoever’s funding the movie is like hell yeah, play it up, sell those tickets — but that doesn’t invalidate the fact that the co-stars have likely truly become close and truly have a connection. And, often, it’s later revealed that the co-stars have in fact been banging the whole time. Shocker. AND even if they aren’t — they still may have had a very real connection that could have definitely sparked into something more had they chosen to pursue it — for instance, I don’t think for a second that Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake wouldn’t have hooked up during FWB if he wasn’t so obsessed with his now wife (and she might have been in a relationship then too I don’t remember). And it was exactly the case with Tom and Zendaya. AND that’s just for celebrities, who’ve often only been working together for 8-9 months or so, making a movie. Not two guys who are attached at the hip and have been for the last near decade.
Whew. That was a lot of ands. Still with me?
#2: I think you’re seriously overestimating everyone’s acting ability.
Imagine being “on” all the time.
I get that they could turn things on and get purposefully flirty or suggestive during fansigns, or onstage, but BTS are some of the most prolific celebrities out there in terms of “behind the scenes” footage. They have posted hours and hours of what basically amounts to reality show content, spanning years of their lives.
“But reality TV is scripted.” Well, duh. It typically needs to have some sort of narrative, some sort of direction or it will be dull. But as anyone who watches reality TV will tell you, it’s scripted, but also it’s not. That’s what separates it from purely fictional movies and series with actors; it’s real people having, for the most part, real reactions in real time, and it’s what is so fascinating to so many people. You can script an interaction on a reality show, but it’s much harder to script every individual person’s reactions to that interaction, the interpersonal relationships that form, the nonverbal behaviors and cues, the personality traits that are revealed. More often than not, someone’s true character, or at least several facets of it, will come out when they’re on a reality show. It’s how we can confidently say that certain bachelors/bachelorettes are assholes — because even while they aren’t meant to be portrayed as such, and in fact they are actively meant to be seen as desirable, marry-able people — sometimes they just can’t hide their gross true natures. And that’s just for 1-2 seasons. Imagine pretending that well for something like 8 years of behind the scenes content. That’s approaching psychopathic levels of acting ability, and it’s an unrealistic conclusion. Maybe they’re not dating, but I believe they’re absolutely as close, if not closer, than they look. There’s no faking that level of intimacy and comfort, not for that long.
#3: I don’t agree with you that shipping allows the members to date who they want.
I’m not sure how the two things are related actually, except that maybe shippers in the fandom are more likely to dismiss dating rumors because they believe the guys to already be taken? But that’s just the thing — dating rumors have only ever been rumors for them. Nothing’s ever been confirmed, though there has been PLENTY of speculation, for Jimin and Jung Kook both. So I don’t really see how promoting Jikook as a subunit has protected them from any of that? If they were dating other people they’d STILL have to sneak around and keep that shit locked down, regardless of shippers — because regardless of shipping, proof is proof and if a photo of them making out with somebody on a yacht leaks, it really doesn’t matter how many cute selfies they posted with the other members, know what I mean?
#4: I don’t ship/support Jikook because of their contrived interactions.
I support them and believe them to be in a romantic relationship, or at least something that is not strictly platonic, because of their tension, comments, behaviors, and stories they tell of off-screen moments. Sure, maybe some PR person gave them the okay to do that dance cover of Own It, but nobody told them to do it like THAT, in a dark room, alone, with tension so thick it seeps through the screen. Yeah, they got paired up for 2021 seasons greetings, but nobody paused the shoot to remind Jung Kook to fixate on Jimin’s lips as he playfully leaned in. Yeah, they were asked to share how they felt when they heard the news about the Grammy nomination, but do you really think a PR person pulled Jimin to the side beforehand and said “psst, do that thing where you pretend you were with Jung Kook at 3 in the morning, awake for no apparent reason, the fans love that shit.” Nobody told them to take an intimate selfie in a car together and look absolutely pissed off (Jimin) scandalized (JK) and caught off guard (both) when the camera caught them. Emily in Paris isn’t over there spinning outrageous ideas in a board room and telling JK and Jimin to pause reaally awkwardly when they notice the camera in JK’s hotel room, almost like they weren’t expecting it to be there when they entered together — the ONLY members to do so.
Have I made my point? These two are a treasure trove of suspicious moments that add up, and add up, and just keep swirling together until we all kind of collectively go — huh, that doesn’t seem strictly platonic, my dudes 🧐
Idk. It seems like this fandom is very fickle, and constantly erases any and all nuance and realism for these dramatic, black or white, this or that stances that don’t really make sense in the real world. Maybe Jimin and Jung Kook have never had a romantic relationship (and if they haven’t, in my opinion, no one has, because no one else in the group has anything close to their particular cocktail of intimacy, chemistry, and suspicious moments/stories). But even if they haven’t, does that reduce their every interaction to contrived content thought up by men in suits in a conference room? Nah baby. That’s 90% them, their marketing team is just the lucky bastards that get to reap the rewards of an electric duo. Or unlucky, probably, if you ask the poor peons in charge of editing hours of content ����
If you made it this far, you’re a trooper. 💜 Would love to hear any other thoughts!
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For the whole Derek Landy thing, I know it’s not uncommon in the fandom, but I find it strange to judge the quality of the books based on your personal feelings about the writer, because those are two very separate things, as shown by your liking the original books before encountering his online presence. Similarly, I think it’s strange to call Phase Two ‘Trash’ when you’ve only heard about it second hand. It has lots of issues, but I think it’s always worth reading things for yourself and coming to your own conclusions. If it’s still trash then fair enough, but it’s better than missing out on something you might enjoy, or going in with a pre-bias towards disliking it because of your feelings about the author and the words of your peers.
1) these two things are intertwined which I will demonstrate. It’s less about “author bad so book bad” and more about “author does not see good elements that existed and could be expanded upon” and “writing is inconsistent due to elements of author’s personal life”. An example of the first is Derek’s tendency to kill characters off and torture characters for what seems like shock value, judging by several tweets about doing those things specifically to hurt/shock readers. I think this harms the quality of the story because it leaves characters and arcs underdeveloped. Another example would be Derek’s failure to commit to a timeline and take notes (see Grimoire incident). An example of the second would be inconsistent character writing due to opinions of people in the author’s personal life. This is something I somewhat suspected for a while but was seemingly confirmed. Another example is his history of changing editors/publishers.
I actually do still love phase 1 for what it is. Derek would have to do a lot worse to take that enjoyment away.
If you like phase 2 that’s fine. Keep in mind that I’m an overly-analytical bitch who gets Way Too Into Media (I have read phase 1 at least 15 times) and likes writing/talking about it. Maybe if I wasn’t this way I’d be less critical, but I am.
2) i read the first two books of phase 2 and did not care for them. I also know much, much more though than whether people liked or disliked them to the point that admittedly at this point it might’ve been less time-consuming to read the books myself. At best, it seems underwhelming, which by comparison to phase 1, means phase 2 is hot garbage. Not the-worst-garbage-in-the-world garbage, but not great. Of course I will read phase 2, and the prequel, and phase 3 when it comes out. I’m not reading them just to trash them. To my knowledge, I will have some positive things to say. I’ll also be reading Demon Road again (kill me). That, I have nothing good to say about….
Edit: I want to be clear, if I did not care about this series, I wouldn’t be here writing this.
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