#pension and retirement plans

[todayworldnews2k21]

Today is Tax Day. Here’s what you need to know if you haven’t filed your return yet — and even if you have | CNN Business

Editor’s Note: This is an updated version of a story that originally ran on April 14, 2023. New York CNN  —  It’s April 18, the official deadline to file your federal and state income tax returns for 2022. (It is also, apparently, National Animal Crackers Day for those who celebrate.) Whether you have already filed your tax return or still need to, the good news is this tax filing season has…

[i-only-ever-asked-questions]

Updated! A few days ago the contract Crowley signs in S1 came up on discord. Being the crazy person that I am, I set on the quest of finding out what it actually says. I couldn't make out everything, especially at the end where Crowley's hand and the sparks obscure the lines but I made out most of it (transcript below the break).

One of the things I like the most is that the contract specifically says "Anthony Crowley of Mayfair, London." In the book, Hastur tells Crowley not to use that name: "No. Not A. J. Crowley. Your real name.” Crowley nodded mournfully, and drew a complex, wiggly sigil on the paper. It glowed redly in the gloom, just for a moment, and then faded."

Interesting things:

The contract is referred to as "the Agreement" - HA!

The contract is between Hastur and Ligur ("the Customer") and Crowley ("the Service Provider"). Not with Hell itself or with Satan.

The contract never actually says what "the Service" is nor does it say how much Crowley is supposed to be paid (so is it just delivering the baby to the convent, or all the upbringing too?)

There is a part that says Hastur and Ligur will pay the costs when the operation is done. But later on it also says that Crowley will not be reimbursed for his own expenses. Talk about being shortchanged!

Hastur and Ligur will NOT provide any help

Crowley must contribute to a retirement plan (Superannuation) for himself and his employees if he has any (how thoughtful)

And lastly, I learned the UK has Superannuations and it is not just an Australian thing! (go figure! the things GO teaches me)

So here you have it. A contract from Hell! literally If anyone can make out the words I couldn't or finds an error, please let me know and I'll update this one.

Full transcript:

[Line covered by clip and Ligur’s fingers] (the "Agreement")

BETWEEN

HASTUR AND LIGUR of HELL (the "Customer")

AND

ANTHONY J CROWLEY of MAYFAIR LONDON (the "Service Provider")

BACKGROUND a. The Costumer is of the opinion that the Service Provider has the necessary qualifications experience and abilities to provide services for the Customer. The Costumer will pay the Service Provider per project agreed. Each project has its own costs and the Service Provider agrees to inform the Customer what are the costs involved when setting the operation and the Costumer agrees to pay the total amount when the project is delivered. b. The Compensation will be payable upon completion of the Services. The Service Provider is responsible for paying any Superannuation Guarantee contributions that may be required in relation to the work performed by the Service Provider or by the employees of the Service Provider under this Agreement c. The above Compensation includes all applicable sales tax, and dues as required by law

Provision of Extras a. The Customer will not provide any resources, assistance or extra for use by the Service Provider in providing the Services Reimbursement of Expenses b. The Service Provider will not be reimbursed for expenses incurred by the Service Provider in connection with providing the Services of this Agreement. Independence of Services c. In providing the Sevices under the Agreement it is expressly agreed that the Service Provider is acting as an independent contractor and not as an employee. The Service Provider and the Customer acknowledge that the Agreement does not create a partnership or joint venture between them, and is exclusively a contract for service

Notes a. All suits, requests, demands or other communication required or permitted by the terms of this Agreement by will be given in writing and delivered to the Parties of the Agreement as follows

ANTHONY J CROWLEY of MAYFAIR LONDON

HASTUR AND LIGUR of HELL

and each [Illegible words due to Crowley’s hand] notify the other.

[ILLEGIBLE WORD]

ANTHONY J CROWLEY

[alighterwithlove]

if you talk to the average conservative voter, they'll always talk about their conservative representative with unabashed enthusiasm. "this guy is supporting my rights!!!!!" even when the representative is very much not supporting their voting constituents' rights in some cases (ie. poor white ppl not realizing they're getting poorer because of their representative)

and I bet that's why conservative candidates are so good at winning. any person listening to their voters only gets a great impression of the candidate.

and if you talk to the average liberal/leftist voter, they all hem and haw. "oh yeah, I voted for them but they're Okay, they're Disappointing. they haven't done this. they haven't done that." and I bet if you fucking pressed them to state some Good Beneficial Legislation they've passed, either the voter 1. can't name any, or 2. has to attach caveats. ("yeah biden passed student loan forgiveness BUT not ALL loans were forgiven")

why aren't we ever excited about incremental progress. why aren't we cheering to the sky about every win. maybe more people would vote if there was genuine excitement, the same type of excitement that conservative voters seem to have about anything labeled "conservative".

I'm just so fucking tired of hearing ppl be like "I'm just disillusioned with my leftist representative" EVERY TIME but are DEAD SILENT on the small victories, the progress. conservatives know how to do this, and that's why they build momentum into the next election. why does this seem impossible for the other side.

[tchaikovskym]

I think late 20s are for people to figure out that the world they knew 10 years ago doesn't exist anymore, and you have to accept that your understanding of the world you made when you were younger will not be true in the changing world

[prodigyprosecutor]

america is all about Freedom so that's why instead of making sure that everyone gets the same high quality healthcare and social security (scary, communist), we're going to let your job provide you with a bunch of arcane choices, the most optimal of which can only be determined based on circumstances which you have no ability to foresee

[casefoxinc]

Planning Your Next Chapter: A Lawyer’s Guide to Retirement Preparation

Ready to transition from the courtroom to a well-deserved retirement? Our comprehensive guide helps lawyers navigate the journey to retirement with ease. From financial planning and investment strategies to lifestyle adjustments and maintaining a sense of purpose, discover the essential steps to ensure a smooth and fulfilling retirement. Start planning your next chapter today!

[silversoulstardust]

being surrounded by overachieving people they often ask me what's my plan for retirement in 30 years time. my plan is to die before retirement age so I don't have to think about it thanks

[rottenbrainstuff]

…oh. Ok. I didn’t hear about this but apparently our provincial government is doing the first steps towards dismantling our current health care model. Our existing single health body will be fractured into four different organizations dealing with different services. Probably this is the first organized step towards privatized health care, which they’ve been wanting to for for decades, because privatized health care works SO FUCKING WELL in the countries that have it.

I wish I could move to a different province but that’s literally impossible for me right now. And you know, it probably wouldn’t even help. People are stupid everywhere, and no one cares about anyone else. Whatever. What the fuck ever. I feel so numb, how can I even care about one more bad thing happening when there’s SO MANY bad things happening?….

[queen-mabs-revenge]

.

[sparklehoard]

Fighting for my life (reading a personal finance guide book)

[financeguruadvice]

Retirement Planning Strategies : A must read guide 💰

[undermine-the-instinct]

VOTE VOTE VOTE PLS FUCKING VOTE

okay guys but in all seriousness the trump attempted assassination is going to rally the right like crazy. voter turnout will be going up. it is more crucial than ever that you SHOW UP AND VOTE IN THIS YEARS PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

[destkelamedia]

Selecting the Perfect Pension Fund to Meet Your Retirement Goals

Discover how to choose the best pension fund to secure your retirement goals and ensure financial freedom in your golden years Planning for a financially secure retirement starts with choosing the right pension fund that aligns with your long-term goals. With so many options available, it can be overwhelming to decide which one suits your needs. By understanding the factors that influence…

[digitalupshotseo]

Creating Your Personalized Retirement Plan: A Step-by-Step Guide

Retirement is a significant phase of life where financial stability is crucial to enjoy peace of mind and independence. Planning for retirement involves evaluating your financial goals, estimating future expenses, and investing wisely. This article will guide you on how to create a robust retirement plan tailored to your needs, with a focus on the best retirement pension plans in India, available retirement policies, and the importance of using a retirement calculator.

Why is Retirement Planning Important?

Retirement planning ensures that you have sufficient financial resources to maintain your lifestyle and cover expenses after you stop working. In India, with changing family dynamics and increasing life expectancy, having a well-structured retirement plan is more important than ever. It helps you:

Achieve financial independence.

Cover medical and other unforeseen expenses.

Provide a legacy for your family.

Avoid being a financial burden on loved ones.

Steps to Build Your Retirement Plan

1. Assess Your Current Financial Situation

Begin by understanding your current financial position. Calculate your savings, investments, and liabilities. Knowing your net worth helps in setting realistic retirement goals.

2. Determine Your Retirement Goals

Think about the kind of lifestyle you want after retirement. Consider factors like:

Age of retirement

Desired monthly expenses

Travel plans

Medical needs

3. Estimate Future Expenses

Account for inflation while estimating future expenses. A retirement calculator can help you determine the corpus needed to sustain your post-retirement lifestyle.

4. Choose the Right Retirement Plans

Selecting suitable retirement plans is key to building a secure future. In India, you can explore various options, such as pension plans, retirement-focused mutual funds, and government schemes. These plans help in systematic savings and provide a steady income post-retirement.

5. Invest Early and Regularly

Starting early gives your investments more time to grow due to the power of compounding. Make consistent contributions towards your retirement fund to ensure financial security.

6. Diversify Your Investments

Spread your investments across different asset classes like equities, fixed deposits, and real estate. This minimizes risks and maximizes returns.

7. Review and Adjust Your Plan Regularly

Life circumstances and market conditions change over time. Regularly review your retirement plan and make adjustments as needed to stay on track.

Best Retirement Pension Plans in India

India offers several pension plans that cater to diverse needs. Here are some of the top options:

1. National Pension System (NPS)

A government-backed voluntary retirement scheme.

Allows contributions during your working years and provides a pension after retirement.

Offers tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD(1B) of the Income Tax Act.

2. Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF)

A retirement savings scheme for salaried individuals.

Both employer and employee contribute a percentage of the salary to the EPF account.

Provides a lump sum and interest at retirement.

3. Public Provident Fund (PPF)

A long-term investment plan with a lock-in period of 15 years.

Offers tax-free returns and government-guaranteed security.

Suitable for individuals seeking safe investment options.

4. LIC Jeevan Akshay VII

An immediate annuity plan from LIC that provides regular income.

Offers multiple annuity options to suit individual needs.

5. HDFC Life Click 2 Retire

A unit-linked pension plan with market-linked returns.

Offers flexibility in premium payments and tax benefits.

6. Atal Pension Yojana (APY)

A government initiative aimed at unorganized sector workers.

Provides a fixed monthly pension post-retirement based on contributions.

Retirement Policies in India

India has implemented several policies to encourage retirement savings and provide social security. Here are some key policies:

Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA): Governs pension schemes like NPS to ensure transparency and efficiency.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): A government-backed savings scheme with a fixed interest rate, ideal for senior citizens.

Gratuity Act: Ensures employees receive a lump sum gratuity payment after completing a certain number of years with an employer.

These policies provide a strong framework to support individuals in planning their retirement.

Using a Retirement Calculator

A retirement calculator is a handy tool that helps you plan systematically. It allows you to:

Estimate the corpus required for retirement based on your expenses and lifestyle.

Calculate monthly savings needed to achieve your goal.

Factor in inflation, investment returns, and life expectancy.

Many online retirement calculators are available for free. By inputting details like your age, income, and savings, you can create a customized retirement plan.

Good Retirement Plans for Different Needs

For Early Starters

Opt for NPS or ULIPs, which offer long-term growth potential.

Start a SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) in equity mutual funds.

For Salaried Employees

Maximize contributions to EPF and consider opening a PPF account.

Explore employer-provided pension plans.

For Senior Citizens

Invest in SCSS or LIC’s annuity plans for stable income.

Maintain a mix of low-risk investments and liquid assets.

For the Self-Employed

Open an NPS account or invest in retirement-focused mutual funds.

Set aside a fixed percentage of income monthly towards retirement.

Tips to Strengthen Your Retirement Plan

Avoid Premature Withdrawals: Early withdrawals from retirement funds can derail your savings plan.

Plan for Medical Expenses: Consider purchasing health insurance to cover rising healthcare costs.

Minimize Debt: Pay off loans and avoid taking on new debts as retirement approaches.

Create an Emergency Fund: Maintain a separate fund to handle unexpected expenses without dipping into your retirement corpus.

Conclusion

Building your own retirement plan is a crucial step toward ensuring financial independence and a comfortable lifestyle in your golden years. With a range of retirement plans, policies, and tools like retirement calculators available in India, planning is simpler than ever. Start early, invest wisely, and regularly review your plan to secure your future. Your retirement should be a time to relax and enjoy, not worry about finances!

[amaditalks]

This video is a quick explainer of the problem. This is from 2008 and it’s all even more true now.

Pensions sound so fake as a zillennial. You work for one place for decades (already sounds fake) and then afterwards you leave and they just. keep paying you. the same amount of money. to do nothing. for the rest of your life. if i wasn't already aware that this was something that readily and commonly existed during my grandparent's days then it would sound like some kind of socialist pipe dream

[homeosloven]

oh well, mother is infirmed again. last march she was struck with a sever pinching pain in her lower back, she could barely move for two days. the doctor gave her some heating patches and pills to relieve the muscles, that kinda helped, but she still had to stay in bed for a week. two weeks ago the cramps started again, not as severe as last time, but painfull enough that she can't load the dishwasher or the laundry machine or go to the grocery store by herself. the medication doens't seem to have any lasting effect, she's still in pain after two weeks. the doctor isn't sure what it could be or how to help her... for now it looks like me and my sister will have to go help her on the weekends, if she doesn't get better someone might have to stay with her all the time (and it's probably gonna be me since i'm the only one that can work remotely lol). ig i picked the right time to get my driver license bc i'm gonna need it for real now