#pefthoughts.txt

[pefkopefto]

at first glance it may seem like i’m giving you the “uglier” peanut butter and banana sandwich. gave you the one i didn’t cut properly and looks all jagged and smashed. but if you open it, lift the top bread and take a look, you’ll see i’ve put alot more cut bananas in yours than i did in mine. what am i trying to say. sometimes love might not be obvious, but it’s there

[pefkopefto]

the mind is a trickster and the heart is a fool

[pefkopefto]

i’m crying over a shadow of a person. you make me feel like a kid. i’m crying over someone who isn’t the same as i remember. you make me feel like a stupid naive kid. the you-now isn’t the you-then. i feel undone. stupid and foolish and wanting of someone who doesn’t care anymore.

[pefkopefto]

what the hell i haven’t cried because of you in so long why am i crying for you now again

[pefkopefto]

“deck the halls” more like dick my balls, amirite, 

[pefkopefto]

self-loathing feels like a huge sludge monster settling its slimy grimy hands on my shoulders and dragging me down today

[pefkopefto]

today i smiled and my lip cracked open

with the taste of blood on my tongue

i couldn’t help but think

“pain follows joy”

(naw i’m just kidding i’m dehydrated woopwoop)

[pefkopefto]

decreasing screen-time

i bought a tiny notebook just like this one dude in this one video who wanted to take on the hard challenge (it’s hard for me T^T) of not using your phone as much... the video’s called “This pocket notebook is (slowly) replacing my phone” i wanna BE like that maaan- i like the idea of it (he says the same) but i can never seem to stick to it. but if i did it like him, buying a teeny tiny lightass notebook and brought it with me everywhere... maybe i could

[pefkopefto]

i’m writing songs as if i’m in love and it’s kind of hilarious but i like it

[pefkopefto]

specific food not prepared by me always tastes more delicious. that is to say - i love the way my mom cooks sunny side up eggs. the yolk’s always destroyed and whites are all folded all differently but it’s delicious. idk. is it the love? who knows. i try to not break the yolk and it works out fine most of the time but it never tastes as good as when mama makes it

[pefkopefto]

in my heart of hearts i’m aware that reading is good for the brain and i love the idea of it but i can’t. just. for the life of me. i can’t make myself sit still and read. like. bro. why are you like this brain.

[pefkopefto]

i think one of my biggest dreams in life is to pet a cow and have it lay its big head on my shoulder and knock me over and i will laugh and lay on the green grass and stare at the blue sky with the big gentle creature beside me and i will be content