#pedantic prick

[choppedcowboydinosaur]

The name, "Pedantic Prick" would be a great name for a TGWTG style reviewer or a parody of that type of reviewer.

[fourfoldfires]

i think about this he/him big titty sin eater a completely reasonable and normal amount

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

new tumblr feature: pvp (for a fee of $5.99 a month, you can reach through your computer screen and punch one blog of your choice in the face)

[marisatomay]

i think that after covid (i know it’s not over don’t be a pedant here you know what i mean) we all should have been required to take mandatory social etiquette classes before we were allowed back into society like a driver’s license test but for things like “hold a door for people behind you so it doesn’t slam in their face” and “don’t be a prick to service workers” and “get off your fucking phone if you’re watching a movie in a theater”

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

Okay but hear me out. I raise you: Daddy! The Demon.

🌧️- anon

NSFW Alphabet

DaddyDom!TheDemon x gn!Reader

May I interest you in a The Demon playlist? :>

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Very attentive and observant! He knows that he really puts you through it at times and is aware of his responsibility to equally take very good care of you afterwards. The whole set, everything from ointment for the scratches and sore spots to holding you close until you stopped sniffling to avoid you ending up in a horrible sub-drop limbo.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hands, He’s a cop and he likes his hands to be strong. Not only because he prefers to be in total control when handling a gun on the shooting range but also because his palms might just be your favourite necklace :>

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I feel like he sometimes treats it as something you have to earn. In particularly rough scenarios or as a way of punishment after you’ve been acting up and bratty.

“Mhm, baby, you gotta have to beg me finally cum or I’ll fuck you till you’re sore, kitty.”-typa beat.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s into pet play and heavy bimbofication. You’re just his perfect little dum dum that occasionally gets a fluffy cat tail plug shoved up their ass. The whole 9 yards with a pretty collar, fuzzy ears. Either that or a custom-made leather harness set that had cost a fortune.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Your Demon-Daddy has to be very experienced for the intense scenes he puts you through and he takes a lot of pride in the fact that he’s not one of them “uneducated Christian Grey Doms.”, as he puts it. Due to his police training, he knows where it hurts - but in a safe way to practice. Perhaps sometimes his need for perfection is bordering on the pedantic.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

On top. Physically dominating you in the most basic way possible by pushing you into the mattress beneath him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

In scenes, he’s anything but goofy. He’s demanding and stern but both of you know that it’s what you want from him, no matter how pathetically you were sobbing, he’d push on because the safe word is there for a reason.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Not entirely smoothly shaved, but neatly trimmed. Very clean from head to toe.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Outside of scenes, he’s romantic. It took him quite a bit to eventually open that side up to you, but he sees how unconditionally you trust him and after a few months of dating and getting to know each other he’d felt comfortable enough to let you see his more vulnerable parts <3

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

HEAVY into mutual masturbation. Cozy movie night? His hands keep wandering and motivate yours to do the same.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Aside from the obvious, he’s very fond of impact play and primal hunter/prey scenes. Yes, he’d chase you through the woods if you were to ask him nicely.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s built you an entire playroom, fully equipped with everything you could ever ask for.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you wraith beneath him. Hearing all those little noises sputter from your lips as you pathetically try to for just on coherent sentence.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Ignore the use of a safeword. He might be a HardDom but he ain’t no asshole. He would never.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s fond of both. He likes giving as a reward and prefers receiving when you need to be reminded of your place….on your knees with hot tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough because he’s greedy and outside of his job, he’s got piss-poor patience.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Preferably in the mornings. Some days, you just wake up painfully horny and who’s he to deny you a quick fix when you’ve been good and now so needy, shobing your ass into his lap like a bitch in heat?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He does take risks but very calculated ones. He’s all for safety considering what kinks you two entertain on the regular.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He lasts long, very long if he wants to. However, due to that, he can’t just go one round after the other. But resting time can spent in some pretty bondage :3

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys are his allies and not his enemy. Your Daddy would spoil you absolutely rotten with whatever toy you’d get wide-eyed over. You want to play some video games? He’d sit you down on a vibrator and watch. Why? Because he can.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s an absolute tease. He simply likes to hear you beg and plead so much. It gets him all lightheaded and feral.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s quiet - not whilst having sex but in the way he talks to you, demands you to do things and gives you orders because that way you have to listen to him closely.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Not really much of a shocker, but he’s possessive in a protective way. That man sees some of the most abominable things quite frequently and he knows what might linger in the shadows of faulty street lamps on a Saturday night. You are your own person and he wants you to remember that. However, he’s very fond of a little text letting him know that you are all safe and good when you’re out with friends or shopping at the mall.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

We’ve seen the movie, the screencaps, the gifs - that man is RIPPED, but in a way, you still have plenty to hold on to and to bite into! That chest is a very comfortable pillow, you can’t convince me otherwise.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high once he’s off work. His love languages are physical touch and quality time spent together. What better way to combine both?

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Very so-so depending on how his day went. Sometimes he dozes off happily right next to you after he made sure that you are doing good and other times he struggles with calming down and relaxing. His job puts him through a lot of things and some days he can’t help himself but take some of it back home.

[batxcastlesociety]

OKOKOK can u tell the WHOLE ENTIRE LORE??? sometimes I can be confused lolol

YESS!! gladly! it's. um. a lot. so i'm putting it underneath the cut! :) sorry if i'm bad at explaining things, if you have any other questions feel free to ask me! :)

(for the record, i am purposefully leaving some things out, because i'd spoil some pretty important turning points if i were to reveal them!)

There are two cities in a nation called Velleinmorre that are the focus of Sanguine, each with their own monarchy: Imajo and Coronét.

Imajo is home to the Edgeworth family, and Coronét belongs to the Blacks. Imajo is on the southern side of a forest called Nari; Coronét, the north. Nari acts as a makeshift border between the two places.

In the year 1702, Imajo has been plagued by a sudden rash of disappearing citizens. Men and women, all of varying social classes. There is no noticeable pattern between the victims as people themselves. Imajo has been quite well-known for sudden missing persons cases, however the ones that have happened now are concerningly large.

This is where Manato comes in! Manato Edgeworth, the heir to Imajo's throne, is a selfish little prick. I'm going to be completely honest here. He's taken it upon himself to find out the truth concerning Imajo's missing citizens, and the only reason why is because he desires to earn the common rabble's favor.

The local constable has no leads to the cases, aside from one thing, one single pattern: all signs point to Coronét, yet they don't know how or why. Nobody has heard a single thing of the Blacks in over three hundred years, and the family has been deemed obsolete for a long time.

So Manato of course, determined to put something behind his name, packs up some of his things and heads to Nari, for Coronét! ...And this is where things start to go downhill. At least, worse than they already were.

Manato is attacked by a vampire during his trudge through Nari, and wakes up in Castle Black. The identity of this vampire is left unknown for a while on purpose, and I'm not telling!

Anyway, Manato awakens in Castle Black to a pedantic, self-centred vampire lord named Akihiro Black, along with his four servants (also vampires— minus May, considering she's actually a dhampir!).

Akihiro explains to Manato that he's been turned, and Manato obviously does not take that well.

The rest of the game follows from there, with Manato having to jump through hoops to escape Castle Black using any means he can, trying his hardest to not go mad with power in the process! :)

[indispensible-pencil]

I've played roughly an hour of endless ocean luminous now and I have to say while I enjoy it so far the comparisons to the other games are inevitable and I have a few niggling issues I want to share because I really wanted this to be great.

1) the focus on multiplayer. No thanks. I'm sure people will use and enjoy this but endless ocean was always a solo experience for me, the atmosphere is ruined with 20 pricks milling around doing fortnite dances

2) the mishmash of aquatic life. They've mashed together the first game (one reigon focus) and second game (multiple separate maps with different animals altogether) and I don't think it works. You get fully freshwater fish hanging out on a coral reef with all the surgeonfish and it just takes me out of it. I'm fine with tropical marine life from coastal Indo-Pacific mixing with marine life from the mid Atlantic to not restrict the choice here (not that pedantic) but when we previously had a fully realised section of the Amazon river with mangroves, awesome ruins, and god awful muddy visibility just randomly coming across pirahna in a cave next to a dolphin is disappointingly lazy and breaks the immersion. You can find over 500 marine species guys you don't need to throw freshwater in for seasoning.

3) The randomised maps are broken, quite bland, and ruin the 'special' feeling of the rare encounters. I was thrilled to come across Thanatos from endless ocean 2 who terrified me as a kid (and had his own awesome entrance music) but then in another part of the map I found him again. And then again. No joke, I found Thanatos 4 separate times in the same map.

4) I miss the general haunting atmosphere of the first two games (mainly the first). The operatic score, the cursed statues, the trenches.

5) also miss hanging out on the boat/island

Not nearly finished the game yet but yeah a few disappintments for me so far. Interested to see what other fans think.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Samuel Seo x Reader: Colleagues to Lovers

Your new boss incenses you

"This isn't good enough."

You're two months into working under your new boss and seriously considering quitting. Nothing seems to please Samuel Seo.

Faults are constantly found in your work, that you consider pedantic and fussy at worst, but you bite back your retorts.

He is difficult, demanding and infuriating. Often, you leave his office on the verge of hot, angry tears when he berates you with sharp words and cutting remarks.

It's another late night with just the two of you on the office floor. You're correcting yet another report he found flaws with and has had the audacity to mark like he's grading an errant student.

Finally, you finish - double, triple-checking before emailing it to him. Under any other boss, even with the most exacting standards, your work would be considered flawless. Goddamn this man.

No doubt he would be reading and scanning through your email as soon as he receives it, you sip on your now stone-cold coffee for a moment of calm before the storm.

You knock on his office door, and wait for a response before entering.

Samuel doesn't acknowledge your presence as you stride in, his face scanning the screen and lit up by the harsh bluelight.

"This will do for now," you release a breath you didn't know you were holding, "but I want to make some changes tomorrow morning."

Fuck. You could have pulled your hair out in exasperation, but with restraint you didn't know you possessed, you give a small bow instead and call it a night.

"Y/N, before you go-"

You were so close. You turn back around to see what he could possibly want.

" ...Do you really think your attire is appropriate for the workplace?"

What? Your cheeks flush with shame. "Excuse me?"

"I can almost see through your shirt, and your skirt is too short. Do we operate an escort service here?"

He's one to talk about tight and indecent clothing. The bastard. Tears prick your eyes.

"I'm surprised you lasted this long," Samuel says as he gets up from his desk and approaches you. A smirk dances on his lips as he leans into your personal space.

"Do you want to cry? Do I frustrate you? Infuriate you? Do you complain to your little friends about me?" He moves closer with each question, and you see his eyes flash with malicious glee.

"Do you feeling like I provoke you for no reason? Find issues in your work when there is none?" He notes the hate in your eyes and your clenched fists.

"Do you want to hit me? Or..." his eyes rake over your body, "Do you want to kiss me?"

This fucking asshole.

"Fuck you," you hiss as your lips crash into his, pouring your resentment and anger. Samuel returns your kiss with equal heat and hostility. You bite his lip and draw blood.

Fuck you, you wanted it to hurt.

[gayf1hoe]

Part 1

Today is the day. The day I put on the Mercedes race suit. I have reached my dream of being a F1 driver. The feelings that are mustering within me are strange and almost alien to me, whilst I have raced in front of people before in F3 and F2 and felt the mix of anxiety, excitement and eagerness, these feelings seem to be culminating more and more as time passes. Toto approaches me, he has a look of pure anticipation, "M/N" he exclaims with a sense of understanding I need a distraction "How are you feeling" he asks with a genuine tone of concern - however in that moment the interrogative question doesn't resonate with me and I question 'Is this guy for real?' Can't he see how I am?'. Not wanting to cause pandemonium and panic for him before the race I reply with a simple "fine".

Toto guides me towards the garage where my car awaits, whilst there has been a major transition period into F1, it hits me like a kick to the stomach, this is really happening, I am handed my helmet and place it over my head, I climb over into my car, I murmur to myself "stay calm, don't panic" repeatedly, I zone out trying to remember all of the practice runs we have done. I am quickly snatched out my thoughts by:

" And M/N Radio check"

"Yep, copy - all clear"

And then, my car starts, my heart is pulsating more than ever, as I emerge into the pit lane and make my way to the rack to form up in P7 I see a sea of people, the 408,000 people who are at the Silverstone Grand Prix cheering in unison, excited for the first Grand Prix of the season.

I arrive at the track and look to my left and see Lando who is in P6, however my engineer quickly brings me out of my train of thought "OK M/N the rest of the grid has nearly formed up, be ready and focus". The lights go out for the formation lap and all goes well and I am content with myself. Then we are back at the start, however this wait is more agonising than previously. My eyes glued to beaming red lights waiting for them to extinguish, the second they did I felt an instant kick of adrenaline that gave a sense of pure ecstasy.

After completing 32 out of the 52 laps I am sat in P2, I see a beaming red Ferrari in my rear view:

"Who's behind me?" I ask

" M/N that is Leclerc behind you, the gap is 0.7 seconds"

I pedantically accelerate trying to pull away and create a gap , however it is to no avail he, he edges closer and closer we enter turn 3 and he gets way to close and clips me causing me to veer of the track, I manage to get back on track but soon I realise I have damage, I take my pure anger and direct it at the undeserving ears of my engineer and whilst I am known for my furious radio communications, so much so I was known as "The F2 Yuki Tsunoda", not for my height but my rage, I regret my emotions coming through that strong.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE THAT FUCKING DICK HE FUCKING GOT TOO CLOSE AND PUSHED ME OF THE TRACK AND MY FUCKING TYRE IS FUCKED I NEED TO BOX.... PRICK"

Growing up around British engineers clearly was shown by my colourful vocabulary.

"OK M/N Clam down, its OK, so box box"

I box and come back on to the track now I am in P10, miraculously by lap 50 I am sat in P3, I edge my foot on the accelerator more and more trying to close the gap, when I hear "And M/N that is Leclerc ahead, the gap is 0.9 seconds try and keep it clean", it is at this moment I see Charles diving towards Max to try and take P1, I see this as my opportunity to take P1. The two are preoccupied fighting for P1 so much so that they cant see me coming along the left side as we enter turn 18 they stay on the outside whilst I take the inside line, I frantically accelerate when I hear my engineer go "THAT'S P1 KEEP THIS UP AND YOU WILL BE A GRAND PRIX WINNER".

We now enter the final lap of the British Grand Prix and somehow in the midst of all my racing thoughts I still somehow manage to get a glance in my rear view mirror and see Charles still attempting to overtake however as we enter turn 18 and are zooming down the straight my dream becomes a reality.

"M/N YOU ARE A LEGEND YOUR FIRST EVER RACE AND YOUR FIRST EVER GRAND PRIX WIN" My engineer booms down the radio but it is soon reciprocated by me

"HOLY SHIT... DID YOU SEE WHAT WE JUST DID... WE JUST FUCKING WON THE FIRST RACE OF THE SEASON... THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH", I am in total disbelief and am perplexed at what had just happened as I pull into park at the number 1, I am only too eager to get out of the car that served me so well, I rush over to my team who stand their awaiting me, I jump on my race engineer and Toto and wrap my arms around them, as I hug each member individually, I make my way to the cool down room and see ... him ... Charles Leclerc standing there almost as if he was preempting me entering

[transfemmbeatrice]

the thing about being an incurable pedant is that i cannot turn it off. i can stop saying it out loud because i’m not a prick, but it’s always happening in my brain. even as i laugh at the joke i’m thinking “well, technically,”

[ghostlyhamburger]

Husband Watches Truth and Lies

they changed the opening theme?

They rerecorded the audio too. I don't know if I like it.

Wait Zoe's in the intro sequence? and Hawkmoth is using TWO miraculous?? What's with Ladybug's new outfit??

I don't know if I like it.

I do like that it's creating more visual interest in the outfit but I don't think that's how you should do it.

We're not even a minute in

Hm. So they gave the unify upgrade to the villain too. I like the outfit aaand he's phantom of the opera. He looks like more of a prick now.

Honestly I feel like the normal box is a lot more inconspicuous

so kwamis don't show up on things but we have seen evidence of their audio existing. in the kwami capture episode where Marinette put on all of them. also they can maintain sentience and awareness in the suit forms so they'd already ahve seen a lot of this stuff when she moved across the city wearing all of them.

I did not hear what Juleka said. I don't think there's any actual words in that.

I remember why I stopped watching this.

{Marinette is babbling to Luka about Adrien and husband is taking a lonnnnng drink}

What the fuck is happening here? "Marinette forgot everything and they're just" Being dicks about it?

This feels like there's an amount of time that has passed between the end of season 3 and the beginning of season 4 and none of it was covered. It clearly isn't the next day, I don't remember them dating, but also Alya didn't know so clearly they haven't been together long?

Also why is every episode with Luka so cringey?

It's like everything else with the show is so subtle and intriguing but the relationship stuff is so goddamn heavy handed. It's hard to enjoy it when it's being forced in our face. It's not even me disliking romantic stuff, some of the greatest stuff in shonen revolves around romance.

The donut of my life??

What is with this show and the stupid orange juice??

They're trying to show off their increased budget here

Bitches you are talking during a movie!

None of the things about Luka should really be flagging as he's an asshole, but so many things flag as he's an asshole!

(Luka got Mari to say "kiss me") That was actually really smooth. Props where props are due.

"I gotta keep my identity a secret more than ever!" So you shout it in the bathroom.

So there's been pretty much cartoon violence in the show so far. Season four opens up with THE BOMBING OF PARIS.

This feels more like first actual episode than first episode of a season. A lot of reestablishing who the characters are and what their relationships are.

He didn't impact the glass at the center where it would have fractured. Yes I will be that pedantic.

Plus he's not actually pressing up against it so it doesn't look like he shattered the glass

This is Mr Pigeon isn't it

(They're at Andre's) Fucking hell this episode has all the worst people.

Nino's wearing WWE shoes.

It's almost like the universe is telling Marinette not to date Luka because it keeps pushing her towards Chat Noir

God Luka's so pretentious

(Husband noticed a poster for Le Coquelicot in the background and asked me to look up what that meant and so I found out it means poppy, and the meaning of a poppy is remembrance and hope for the future) So the universe is reflecting her hope for the future here but also showing that she really can't have that with Luka?

what? THAT'S what akumatizes Luka? "I can't tell you the truth" THAT'S what breaks him?

(husband downed the rest of his drink)

What is this show? Why must it be so stupid? Why must it hurt me? No bitch is that dramatic!

So this is their way of stepping up the villain. Giving him TWO powers.

That seems like such a STUPID idea. putting the amok and the akuma into the same object? if you break one, you break both!

also dude you're literally wearing the thing that says that she cares about you, you are so fucking stupid oh my fucking god

This goes against the aloof nature they gave Luka in other episodes. so going back to the heavy handed bullshit

So he can force akumatization. (Actually I think on some level Luka gave in because he did want to know Marinette's secret) That makes more sense, plays into his duplicitous nature

Finally something more important to Luka than getting into Marinette's pants!

(Ladybug gags herself) The Totally Spies influence keeps rearing its head

So there's one thing I don't understand. In earlier episodes we've seen that Hawkmoth can force akumas to do things. Why isn't he doing that now?

Look at Tom being a good father!

Why do I recognize [Ziggy's] voice

Wow really showcasing the quick thinking abilities of Chat

Why did they make Chat more tan

Yeah putting the whole amok and akuma into the same object seems like a stupid idea. also is there a point to de-evilizing the amok when it has no sentience?

oh she doesn't say bye bye little butterfly anymore

That was a pretty good episode if you don't count the first 15 minutes

All right that's actually a really good moment for Jagged

All right so that to me says they're gonna stop with the romantic bullshit till the end of the series but I KNOW that's not the case.

and that's this episode!

Props to Jagged for actually confronting his own inadequacies and trying to do better for what he should be. Also I guess I kind of understand Luka a bit. It's not easy growing up without a father figure. It was hard enough not seeing my own often, it must be worse having NO father figure. It's probably why a lot of anime that are male centric with a lot of older male characters really hit home with me, because they could teach me paternal morals. Luka clearly didn't have that. Even though anime is more popular in France than it ever was in America.

(So what you're saying is Adrien is more well adjusted than Luka because he's a weeb.) Yes actually!

This really ties into my thoughts of Adrien and Luka being mirrors of each other, Kagami and Marinette being mirrors of each other, Adrien and Marinette being reflections, even Kagami and Luka being reflections.

Adrien and Kagami are obviously reflections with the isolation and fascination with anime and fencing but Adrien had a friend in Chloe and Kagami had no one.

I could keep going

(He is still going)

(so at the time I was pissed at Luka, because I thought it was shitty when a girl breaks up with a guy for his response to be "that's okay I'll wait"). I see it differently. So I disagree. I don't think that was their intent. I think they were trying to show Luka's emotional intent. Luka came out of the akumatization and realized he was being unfair to Marinette. He realized that with the gift and everything that she was trying to be there for him and that she just still couldn't tell him. So when she broke up with him, he understood that she was overwhelmed, and even though she didn't say she couldn't be with him right now, he understood what she meant. It just went over badly because the episode was so heavy handed at the beginning.

I don't like what they did to Juleka in basically making her mumble mouth, in previous seasons she was just shy and didn't talk much. also they changed her personality.

(TIME FOR LIES)

The weirdest thing about the series so far is they have random bits of speeding up people's dialogue to make it fit and it doesn't work.

Why didn't they start the first episode like this? We followed Marinette through the previous episode. We should've kept with that and followed Adrien through the first episode.

why is the camembert not stored in the fridge

Did Plagg just talk to him through the phone?

that's a stein of milk

those sneaky bitches

when did they give Kagami freckles?

I wish Kagami wasn't the only one who had a unique suit.

Considering Kagami hates lies, does she not use feints in fencing then? that would turn her episode point into an actual character quirk.

There could also be more characters in the fencing class that we knew besides Adrien and Kagami. it's cool that adrien wears the same thing as everyone else but it's forcing Kagami to stand out that she's wearing something different. Actually considering how controlling her mother is that may not be her choice.

The timing on this is just too weird. It made sense from the Ladybug perspective but the amount of time between things. They had a walk away from the boat and had a whole ass talk and a whole ass Hawkmoth thing and Ladybug having her transformation sequence in the time it took them to walk down the stairs

wow he really just nuked the entire Kagami/Adrien thing in this one episode

"I only ever have this much fun with you" YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

It was bright as frickin day when they defeated Truth

See this actually makes a lot more sense because they are meant to be younger and less emotionally stable. I think it actually works really well.

Considering the fact that Hawkmoth is lying that would include him. and why didn't he give her a sentimonster?

Fang want cake

Are they actually gonna use Chloe to an effect? The most honest, brutally honest bitch?

FANG WANT CAKE

Fang the best

is her orb getting bigger?

Actually that was just a really good episode. the only things that don't work are the parts that conflict with the previous.

Yeah this episode hurts

Why did they give Ladybug such an ass

[mx-piggy]

today we got a leaflet through the letterbox for the Conservative candidate for our constituency, and it's so fucking stupid. he claims he wants to focus on helping local people, but then he emphasises that one of the Tories' main aims is 'securing the borders' which... i cannot fathom how denying someone who needs it access to this country could possibly benefit me or my community? and not to be a pedantic little prick but it's a little comical because i'm in the West Midlands so technically the only border i'm near is the Welsh border.

[sloshed-cinema]

All That Heaven Allows (1955)

Let’s repeat it again for those in the back: adult children have no say in how their parents choose to conduct their lives. While the disastrous cocktail party that Cary attends with her new beau Ron is well-stocked with instantly hateable uppity socialite pricks, few characters are more odious than Cary’s own children. Ned in particular is a slick haired Donald Jr trust fund brat who is more interested in his own future prospects with the family money than his mother’s well-being, all under the guise of knowing her better than she does herself. Kay disguises her snobbery under the guise of scientific detachment, pretending that her studies as a social worker grant her a perspective on all relationships even before she knows the people themselves (the concept of sociology in the 50s is hilarious enough itself in its many and varied shortcomings). Kay at least comes around, but all of the vitriol directed toward Cary underlines just how difficult it can be to change, even if you know it’s a change that you want for yourself. Jane Wyman’s performance as Cary Scott showcases layers of vulnerability and quiet strength. Especially early in her relationship with Ron, Cary is quiet and withdrawn, always glancing nervously about as she considers the social implications of even the smallest of choices. How should a widowed woman of a certain age conduct herself? Polite society may not wall its widows up as Kay describes the ancient Egyptians to have done, but they have their own ways of shuttering them off from their emotional freedom. Ron represents dirt in the eye of that country club set, a free-spirited, renovated-mill-living, Thoreau-reading flannel enthusiast who could seep me off my feet any day. Sure, this falls under the old school physical romance vocabulary where even gestures of “good” love are a little rough, the guy a little too forceful out the gate, but all told it’s a softly powerful accounting of a woman finding her own footing, damn the expectations.

Technicolor really is a marvel. It’s easy to love the vibrancy afforded by this process when watching films by wizards of the three-strip camera like Powell and Pressburger, heightened fantasias where everything pops. But Douglas Sirk here shows that even something as simple as the quaint pleasures of a small New England town can be made lush and larger than life with the right touches. Quintessential images of leaves changing color and trees growing bare shifts to the frigid pleasures of sleigh rides and falling snow. But there’s also pain in this beauty: the sumptuous Christmas scene with its well-decked tree turns out to be the nadir of Cary’s experience here as she learns that no matter how much she sacrifices for and gives to her children, she will always be secondary. At least the tinsel looks great on the silvertip fir.

THE RULES

SIP

Someone says 'Harvey'.

Cary looks uncertain about something.

A meal like dinner or lunch is named.

Kay goes into pedantic academic mode.

A doorbell rings.

BIG DRINK

The Stoningham clock tower appears in a scene.

Television is mentioned.

Rock Hudson says something that's actually just a queer double entendre.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Pedantic, chapter five - a Malevolent AU

Arthur Lester is the best IT architect in the world, and the reason Carcosa, Inc. has its fingers in every pie. Government, medical, everyone in the world uses its systems. Arthur is also going blind and nearly gives up… until a deeply annoying cybersecurity programmer prods him into trying something new.

Chapter Five: Arthur ran.

AO3

----------

Doe was surprisingly easy to talk to.

Arthur found himself doing it at random times. “I can’t believe he signed me up for the fitness package! What the fuck!”

That asshole. Wanting you healthy. How dare he.

“That should be a question mark, you prick,” said Arthur.

Pedantic.

“No, that’s you,” Arthur huffed, clinging to the side of the pool.

“Now, Mister Lester,” beamed the physical therapist from hell, “you’re not done laps yet!”

“I’m sending godsdamned Kayne poison frogs for Christmas!” Arthur cried, and continued swimming while John laughed at him.

#

Yeah, can’t compare to my dinner, John said in response to the stunning lobster tail, corn succotash, and heirloom brown rice creation Arthur was eating. This was followed by what looked like mushy o-shaped noodles in a glutinous red goo, vaguely in the shape of a can.

Arthur choked and had to take a moment to reply. “Fuck, Doe, you’re paid better than that.”

Fuck, Lester, I like this stuff. Go fuck yourself.

Instead, Arthur took a picture of himself, mouth open, forkful of lobster poised and ready to chomp.

There was silence for a long moment.

Arthur chewed. Swallowed. “Choke on your pasta, Doe?”

Did you mean to send me that?

Arthur blinked. He squinted at his screen. “Uh. Why?”

It was hot.

Wow, okay. He could not see that. “Why?” Arthur said again, baffled.

The way you’re looking at the camera, intense and hungry and challenging. Your mouth, lips already reddened from eating. I can’t see what you’re about to eat, either—since I assume that’s what was going on—so it’s just… inviting.

“Oh.” Arthur had no idea how to respond to that. “I’ve never sent that kind of picture before.”

Well, you did a bang-up job for your first one.

Arthur’s face continued feeling hot as he finished his dinner and never came up with a good reply.

#

John sent four cat pictures in a row, and they told a story.

Photo one: Guy the cat peeks over the top of the counter. Photo two: Guy the cat is blurred in motion as she leaps for the countertop. Photo three: Guy looks moderately startled as the papers she landed on slide due to her inertia. Photo four: One paw and the tail of Guy the cat are visible as she falls over the other side of the counter, having pulled everything that was on it down with her.

So that’s how my day is going, said John.

Arthur laughed and laughed. Maybe he just hadn’t socialized enough in a while, but this little misadventure—including its disastrous end—was the funniest thing he could think of right now. “She all right? You all right?” he asked finally.

Yeah, yeah. She pulled my sandwich down, but free turkey for her, I guess.

That had not been conveyed in the photos. Arthur laughed again.

Aw, shut up, said John. Let’s get to phase two already.

“Sure,” said Arthur, disappointed they already had to get to work.

#

Arthur extended his stay. He was beginning to enjoy swimming laps—the control of it, the regularity, the focus required—and John was doing amazing work translating his design into reality.

It wasn’t the same as coding himself. It wasn’t; but it was still good, and he didn’t feel the terrible, itchy mental stuttering he did when not creating.

This could work. This… could really work. And the program they were creating…

This would save lives. This would enable wise decisions for the future—and for countries with greedy insurance, the TOS prevented this information being shared.

It’s not like all the details weren't already out there, anyway. All of it was publicly accessible. Anyone could have done what he and John were doing… if they knew how.

This personal database—connected to a highly secure and personal virtual server—would use every single record of every single known ancestor, including photographs with identifiable medical clues, to help predict what an individual might go through, genetically—and if he was right, it would be 98% accurate.

The results were fully owned by the individual. Not easily accessible by insurance, doctors, employers, or anyone else. It would, he hoped, help prepare people like him. He also knew it could be misused in the wrong hands. So… it would stay in his.

John’s. Technically. But his.

Nobody had to use it who didn’t want to, and any employer or insurance who tried would be open to such lawsuits they’d never try again.

It was good. It was useful. It felt right.

I think we’re ready.

Arthur took a deep breath. The sunset had turned the Hudson’s black sparkles slightly red, a portentous color, and he felt ready. “Do it.”

A link appeared in his feed.

He went through the process. Signed up. Had Cassilda read both the long-form TOS (listening so carefully for all legal wording—this was fucking specific), and ensuring the shortened TOS summary was clear and missed no pertinent details and provided no “out” for the unscrupulous.

John sent numerous texts explaining exactly how he’d secured all data.

So far, so good. Arthur finished signup and provided his personal information.

Within minutes, Arthur saw what he knew. Then, he saw what he didn’t know.

Tie-in information from unnamed DNA relatives. Information about how these unknown relatives had responded to space travel. Information how relatives he didn’t know he had responded to living under the sea or in the desert or high in mountains and rarefied air. Incredible.

Well?

“It fucking worked. Okay, hold on.” He logged in as administrator to see how it looked from the other side. Beautifully anonymized. Wow. “Did we do it?” whispered Arthur as the sun finally set. “Really?”

Tested successfully on systems as old as Play 1.3 and as new as 14 beta. I also signed up several times with slightly different info, but the same ancestry, and got the same results.

John have to have multiple identities to pull that off. Multiple social security numbers. Arthur was reminded the man was genuinely dangerous. “That’s incredible.” He poked around.

All the other “users” were anonymized, too. As a simple admin, he couldn’t see it.

What had John put into the system? If Arthur went into the back end now, Doe would see it. He could wait. Yes. “Share features?”

The proper warnings came up when I tried to share with you.

“Which you obviously didn’t go through with.”

Nope.

“You owe me something personal.”

A beat.

My connections are family. High up in the company.

Ooh! “Come on, Doe. Give me more than that.”

Fine. Kayne is my uncle.

Arthur spit out his drink. “WHAT?”

I promise you I hate him more than you.

“He’s your uncle?”

Step uncle. The worst.

Somehow, this made Arthur consider the fact that Kayne had family, which made him a human being, which made him (somehow) a sexual being, and Arthur groaned.

You okay? The text that just came through was weird.

Cassilda sent his groan? “What was it?”

Ooooaaaauuaaauaaah.

The program didn’t do any better reading it back.

Arthur laughed. “Oh, what the hell?”

He’s worth that response, believe me.

“So he’s why you have the job.”

No. He’s just a connection.

And Arthur lost his mind. “Am I really smart to trust you?” slipped out.

Yes.

The breaths between replies seemed too long. “Why?”

Because I’m on your side. I meant everything I said.

“I want to believe you.” He didn’t say the weight in his chest was terrible. He wanted John as a friend. He didn’t want the bad thing to be real. He feared what he might have entrusted, if John might betray him. A million fears.

How can I prove it to you?

“Tell me where you were until a year ago.”

Nowhere.

“Come on, Doe.”

Nowhere. I mean it. I was nobody, doing nothing. All of this has been a surprise to everyone.

“That makes no sense. You’re too knowledgeable. You didn’t just… absorb decades of information in a month.”

No, I already had the information. I mean… nobody knew it mattered that I did. I was found, like you.

“But I was found because I entered a contest.”

No, you were found because they were looking.

“What did you do that they found you?”

I was looking for more information. I ended up breaking into Carcosa’s systems because I wanted the data.

Oh, bullshit. "That didn’t happen.”

It did.

Bullshit! “Do you really think I don’t have monitoring set up? I’d have known.”

I circumvented it.

Fuck, fuck, fuck... “How?” Arthur demanded.

John told him.

Told him exactly how he exploited an issue Arthur hadn’t known existed, tweaked loopholes he'd never considered, dug up coding wormholes that just felt unfair, and Arthur knew it was the truth.

He felt… sick. No: he felt humiliated. “And you still wanted to help me after that?” he said, sounding angry, suddenly furious that the anger didn’t get translated. "I'm that easy to get around, all my hard work, all my fucking life's work, just like pushing open a door for you, is it?"

Don't be stupid. It wasn't easy. And yes, of course I want to help you. Your mind is

“Is what?” Nothing. “Is what?”

Beautiful.

Arthur wiped his eyes. Confused didn’t cover it. “You don’t know my mind. You don’t know me.”

I do. I speak your language. This program is my love letter to you, in your tongue.

Stunned.

Arthur was stunned.

Spooked.

Arthur was spooked.

Arthur did not know what to say.

Panicked.

Arthur freaked out.

Arthur.

“Cassdila, block…” Could he do it? Could he? No. Fuck. “No. Cassilda, silence all notifications from John Doe.”

Done, Arthur.

He couldn't stay still. Couldn't stay in sight of the home of the man who'd... done whatever this was, unraveled his supposedly brilliant code like a knot in yarn and then made him a 'love letter.' Arthur checked out that night and bought his own ticket home, and even after they’d given him the drug so he would sleep through the dangerously interdimensional travel, he still felt like he was running.

--------

CHAPTER SIX

Notes:

Guy was my spouse’s Siamese when we married, and yeah, she was a really special kitty.

[redlenai]

A thing that pisses me off about grown ups (I'm one tho) is that we ridicule or punish kids for having worries... according to their age? to their priorities? Like really, some kids want to vent as well and it baffles me when they actually use words and want to open up to you and communicate yet you turn it into unsolicited advice or even worse a lecture that leaves your kid regretting ever talking to you about that issue since now you made them look dumb or that they are uninmportant since "There are bigger things to worry about"

Of course toddlers cry over their toys, their favorite food, about the things that are basic to us but complex for them, the more we grow up the more the mountain grows but why some just forget about these past hurdles and mock others for experiencing them?

Like really, of course a toddler will cry because you cut the bananas 'cause they wanted to eat them smashed or peel if themselves after watching some cartoons and wanted to imitate a monkey

Of course a kid will cry because it can't have a pet or argued with their best friend. Feeling insecure about their missing tooth or that the teacher looks scary

Of course a teen is worried about the unknown upcomign terror that its finishing high-school, oh yeah the "I study, get a job then a house" mentality from childhood is still there, some feeling like a ticking time bomb, then the hormones, the changes in the body, trying to find themselves, who they are their own voices, and so much more.

When a grown up comes to a kid and lectures them about their age appropriate worries, said adult only looks like a party pooper, a snob, a condescending, pedantic prick. Even kids know that sometimes one doesn't want solutions, but support.

Surely, you can talk to your kid about topics but don't go overboard and making it as if they are stupid for worrying about what they care about, as if they are unimportant, or to force early in them to be conscious about the things you worry about.

Like really, ok Timmy you surely are stupid for worrying about your insignificant little things but look, here, worry about our financial state, I'm sure that dumping these bigger worries won't trigger anything like you feeling you're unimportant but are the mayor contributor to our financial state, surely you won't grow up feeling you are an expense and begin to call things like your school materials or even your health as non important since I shut down things related to you back when you were little.

i understand toddlers cuz if i was just born a couple years ago and someone tried to get me to understand and say words while i'm growing insane amounts of teeth very quickly and painfully i'd be having a temper tantrum on the floor of a department store too

[wagonlitcommunitytheatregroup]

Why do I get into fights with pedantic pricks on the internet?

I think it's divine punishment also being a pedantic prick myself.

I find myself drawn to them and they to me.

I have this uncontrollable urge to be a dick to them.

Are our online personas true reflections of ourselves?

God I hope not.

If it is, I'm such a fucking asshole.

Maybe it's all a ruse.

Maybe it's a ruse to myself.

Am I even good at all?

If I have the capacity to pointedly be a prick directly to one person on the internet becauae they annoyed me,

Am I actually a good person?

Or am I just a hateful asshole masquerading as a good person?

I think the beauty and complexity of human life is contained in the fact that I hold both the above and below thought simultaneously and they have equal weight. Here goes:

Fuck you, you smug pedantic jerkass. You know exactly what I was asking and you know your little "um actually" wasn't being fucking helpful. You knew that I already knew what you were saying. You completely had the power to read the whole post and decide "I know he used a slightly wrong term but there's really no need to correct him." And you know you're not actually entitled to an apology. Fuck you. You're annoying. And people don't like you.