#pearl would lick a salt lamp and not regret it

[octoagentmiles]

i love ur octonauts safe foods post but that also brings the question: what are the octo-agents safe foods?

wonderful question my anonymous friend- apologies for the delay, please enjoy post 🤲:

Paani’s patties have nuts, seeds, and bugs in them, which all have kind of similar tastes—hear me out—they all taste nutty (yes, bugs have a nutty flavour, if you didn’t know), and possibly a little roasty or smokey depending on how they’re prepared. Paani’s safe foods probably consist of a lot of other grains, nuts, or butters (peanut butter, sunflower butter, almond/cashew butter, etc). He probably unironically enjoys pistachio ice cream. Can’t go wrong with a giant jug of straight up rainwater, either.

Tracker grew up the same way Barnacles did: In the Arctic with very little variety. So, their tastes are probably the same, or very similar. He enjoys simple flavours, and dishes with non-complicated seasoning. I also imagine he’s an extremely picky eater, despite being taught in the Polar Scouts to be prepared to “eat what you have to” in an emergency. He might like a couple obscure or odd things here and there, but other than that his palate is pretty limited. He likes knowing what to expect when he eats something (and in general), so he basically just eats the same foods over and over. He’s an EXPERT at cooking these foods.

Googled native Russian and Siberian cuisines for Natquik, and I’m seeing a lot of dough, pastry, soup, and salt (and a lot of other things, but they’re mostly meat and I’m going to pretend he’s vegetarian and so is everyone else, with the exceptions of Mr. Paani “The Bug Eater”, and Ms. Pearl “Eats Living Urchins Whole”). He loves savoury foods, as well as “earthy” flavours (below-ground vegetables, such as beets, potatoes, carrots (he might bond with Tweak over that one), or mushrooms) but can NOT tolerate spiciness at all; he’s worse than Barnacles in this regard. If he eats something too hot he will spit it out instantly, and be very dramatic about it. He also enjoys a cup of tea now and then, and he’s not picky about what kind; if it’s warm and got leaves in it, he’ll drink it.

I like to think that Calico Jack and Kwazii are alike in more ways than one thousand—and they probably have IDENTICAL tastes/safe foods. So, Jack loves sweets and sugars, but hates bitters. He hates citrus too (because he’s a cat), but has learned to tolerate it in all his years as a pirate. He chugs lemon juice like it’s milk, and he just ate a whole ghost pepper. You won’t catch him anywhere near a tangerine, though. (Disclaimer: Citrus is actually poisonous to cats in real life, which is why they hate it so much. This cat however, is fictional, and just thinks they’re icky.) CJ also canonically loves to cook and bake his own food, based on how many recipes he invented and passed down to Kwazii; such as pirate pie (real pie, see GBR for ingredients), pirate stew (main ingredient = kelp), and “pirate pie” (kelp and lima beans on toast), to name a few.

Ranger Marsh LOVES the Octonauts’ hot cocoa specifically, I don’t know if it’s the way the Vegimals make it, or what, but I’m taking this to mean the man is fan of chocolate. Dark chocolate. Meaning, he probably enjoys bitter things. Do not let him cook for Kwazii or Jack. I bet most of what he eats is foraged directly out of the Everglades’ thicket, so that would likely include weird and bitter berries, plants, and wild vegetables. I also headcanon that he taught Tweak how to make her famous chili, she just perfected it. Chili can taste like pretty much anything depending on how you season it, so you can bet he likes his extra bitter as well.

Okay now Pearl is probably the opposite of Shellington. I said that Shellington would enjoy intense or odd flavours (like extra hot sauce on cake), but dislike salty-anything because it reminds him of red urchin. He learned to like strange foods, as a result of being allergic to his species’ main source of nourishment (shellfish). Since Pearl didn’t have this problem, she didn’t need to branch out her plate; and thus would love salty things because it’s what she’s used to. She might dislike overly sour or sweet things, or generally “unnatural” or artificial foods. She’s probably not much of a chef, considering most of what she eats is stuff she literally picks off the seafloor.

Apparently a red panda’s diet is 95% bamboo, soooooooooooooooo... I guess that answers Min. She probably eats a ton of those bamboo biscuits, and that might literally be all. Bamboo tastes earthy, nutty, and slightly sweet, so if she were to expand her menu, she’d probably eat foods with similar tastes, or anything that has a good crunch to it. Y’know what? I bet she’d love a Paani Patty.

Ryla literally ate bat droppings covered in moss. Granted, the “droppings” were berries, but still. I don’t think she’s very picky. She doesn’t have any “safe foods”, because she’s a hardcore survivalist—she’ll eat ANYTHING (unless it’s poisonous then she’ll only eat it once). Wombats are strict herbivores, so she probably enjoys a good salad when she's not fighting for her life in a cave.

I think Koshi and Pinto are both stereotypical kids, who'll gladly inhale anything with sugar in it. Pinto specifically might have similar tastes to Peso, in which he'll also just eat... literally anything. Especially if it's weird looking. Koshi is a bit more sensitive to strong smells, so she'll only eat what she likes the smell of. She doesn't seem like someone who likes trying new foods, either. She likes sweet, or bland simple tastes.