#peak low budget experience was getting a pine branch and sticking it into a giant tin filled with stones and hang ornaments from there

[selfconsciousfangirl]

I don’t remember being much of a Christmas person before. Life always got in the way, like the time I had to sit a university entrance exam on December 23rd. I was either busy working retail or wrapping up the school year and/or being deeply, clinically depressed. I rarely had the time or energy to put up Christmas decorations. Eventually I stopped doing a Christmas tree and focused on my nativity scene instead, which felt more meaningful to me for a variety of reasons. And then my dad died the week before Christmas and I gave up on the whole thing altogether. It took me a while to feel like doing even that much again, and sometimes I don’t end up doing it until December 24th.

Can’t even remember what was the point I was trying to make. I feel a touch disconnected from the seasonal mood, I guess. My dad was fun to buy presents for and got me truly special things. It’s just not the same without him, that’s just all there is to it. We adapt and choose what makes the most sense