#peace for what??? taking their land???? they didn't even ask to be up in sky

[introspectivememories]

finishing up the skypeia arc rn and upper yard was indigenous land this whole time?????? is "upper yard" even the real name????? gan fall, you land-stealing, bitchass old man. what the fuck

[getitoutofmymindwrites]

The landing | joel miller x f!reader, 13.2k

Summary: You feel him before you see him. He’s still taking up space in your micro-universe. His sole presence creates ripples through the atmosphere as he walks towards you, softly nudging you to turn your head from your spot to look behind you. Or The one where your orbits finally collide for the final showdown.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, NO SPOILER (read A/N), ANGST, cheater!joel, discussions of infidelity, mention of food consumption, yelling, crying, the briefest mention of smut thoughts, sprinkle of fluff (blink and you'll miss it), as always let me know if I missed anything 👀

A/N: Ok, *deep breath* I know I can't make everyone happy unless I write alternate endings 😅 and I understand that infidelity can be a very triggering concept. I gave them the ending I felt they both deserved, but if you're looking for a story where they are at each other's throats for 13k words, maybe this is not for you and you are more than welcome to kindly move on. I won't spoil the ending in the Warnings, so proceed with caution, you know what the main theme is all about. All I can tell you is that this part of the story is divided into two main scenes because I didn't want to drag it out with one little scene after another. *she says after spilling 13k words🙄sorry about that👀* As always, I would love to read your thoughts on the last part and please keep in mind that writing is almost always self-indulgent.

P.S. I want to thank each and every one of you for the love I received for this mini-series, I never thought it would engage so many people. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You've all been so kind and sweet to me, so this journey filled my heart with joy! I love you all, take care of yourselves and I'll see you -hopefully- in the comments! Oh! My asks are always open if you want to know more about their story. I could even write drabbles or one-shots about anything you'd like to know in particular. Ily, bye 😘

P.S. I deliberately left the last two lines without clarification of who says what, I leave that up to you. 🤍

Dividers by @cafekitsune @saradika-graphics @plum98

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

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FOUR YEARS AFTER THE FALL

Are you still falling?

You’re not sure anymore. Maybe you’re just used to it. Or maybe you just learned how to fly. It certainly feels like everything has slowed down. Sometimes it feels like floating. As if you’re a feather, so lightweight, swirling around aimlessly. But you can never touch the ground. Gravity can’t quite pull you down. Every time you feel like you’re finally landing, a force of nature pulls you back up.

Maybe it is a soft, warm, summer breeze, a memory of Joel.

Maybe it is a whirlwind, a contact from the lawyers.

Maybe it is a snowstorm, sign the papers, please.

Maybe it is the whispering of a gentle wind, the possibilities of what might have been, or the lack of real closure.

But it’s nice here. Even between the earth and the sky.

You never thought you’d enjoy leaving the big city and making a home for yourself on a ranch. But you loved it. You loved the peace and quiet, you loved this new community of people, you loved taking care of the horses, riding them, being around them. And then there was the house. A place you could almost call home. It was beautiful, rustic, warm, inviting, lacking none of the comforts a modern house needs, because you can’t quite get the big city girl out of you. The entire land had a soft, yellow-golden light enveloping every tree and every rock, everywhere your eyes reached, as if the sun shone differently here.

The days are easy. The chores are more than enough to keep you focused, there’s always something to do around here. It feels good to be busy, to keep your mind from dwelling on the past. You welcome the exhaustion of a full day’s work that accompanies your body when night comes.

Evenings are mostly good. You shower the day off, you cook, you chill on the couch with a good book or a film and more often than not, as the time passes and you feel more comfortable sharing the privacy of your home, you have friends over for dinner and drinks.

Nights though, nights are hard. At night, you pray that you are tired to the point of exhaustion so that you can sleep through it peacefully. Sometimes it works, but most of the time, not so much.

Time has intensified and lessened your emotional burden simultaneously.

The sharp pain that feels like thick acid being poured into you mellows in an inexplicable way. It still hurts, the pain oozing out of your every single pore even in a physical way. Only now, it has transformed into a sweet, slow poison conquering every hollow of your body, every vein leading from your heart to the ends of your limbs.

It’s almost a welcoming feeling, this pain, reminding you that you’re still alive, that he was real, that everything that happened was real. Because sometimes, sometimes, when you let yourself relax, when you let your guard down, all of this feels like a dream. Sometimes, you wake up in the middle of the night, confused, reaching with your hand for the other side of the bed and finding it empty. And for a split second you get that feeling. The feeling of how it used to be with him next to you.

Then you remember.

You know why this is happening and who’s responsible for it. This is a mix-up. This is what your treacherous brain does to mess with your resolve. It blends the bad stuff into the good, creating the strangest of concoctions. The clear image of black and white, neatly and perfectly hung in the center of the walls of your mind is now splashed with colorful memories from your life together, like a Pollock painting. You do your best to resist, to bring back scenes from all the vivid recollections of the night your life changed forever but your uncooperative brain pops another memory up, a good fuckin’ memory, like a projector, illuminating those bare imaginary walls with laughter and touches and whispers and scents and warmth. It’s relentless.

This dichotomy creates an uneasiness inside you, you choose to reject and pretend not to notice. Which in turn leads to self-contempt because, as always you can’t lie to yourself. You may lie to others but deep in your core you have to be honest with yourself. That is something you’re owed. To be aware, present in the reality of your life. So, you know, you know, you just sweep things under the carpet as a copy mechanism. You know what you should do.

You should confront him. You should demand answers and then finally say what you need to say to him. Not for him, not for his sake, but for yours. But you can’t. You've lost count of how many times you've picked up the phone and your thumb hovered over his contact to call him but you just can’t bring yourself to do it. And every time you tried to text him, to start a conversation, it felt too awkward. The only acceptable subject of discussion initiated by you was the progress of the divorce papers. You were unable to even remotely insinuate a more meaningful encounter. And he didn’t make any advances either. Not that you gave him any room to try and talk to you, but still, he seemed more settled with that, rather than not.

Maybe that fact itself was your cue to let it all go. He’s probably moved on. You don’t cheat on someone so blatantly and then want them back. Obviously, this whole delaying of the divorce is a power play, like everything else, it seems.

Good, yeah, that’s it. That’s it.

Now, let go. Move on. You solved it. Let go.

But this annoying little voice is scratching the walls of your weary brain, nudging the limits of the carefully made up serenity that’s hanging by a thread.

You should confront him. For your peace of mind, for your equilibrium.

But it’s nice here. Even between the earth and the sky.

Joel, will you please sign the papers?

It’s early in the evening and you’re in the garden in front of the house near the porch, on your knees, plucking a few weeds from the ground. The fatigue of the day’s work has begun to take its toll on you, your shoulder is slightly trembling as you rest your weight on one palm to dig around with the other. Sweat covers your torso, rolling down between the valley of your breasts and the hollow between your spine, leaving your t-shirt clinging to your skin, your hair sticking to your forehead, which is lightly covered in a thin layer of dirt at some places as you keep wiping your forearm over the little beads of salty water that concentrate over your brows.

You feel him before you see him. He’s still taking up space in your micro-universe. His sole presence creates ripples through the atmosphere as he walks towards you, softly nudging you to turn your head from your spot to look behind you.

There's an overload of sensations before you shift your body around to confirm what you already know in your bones. You can smell him, taste him, feel him on your suddenly tingling skin, all at the same time.

You turn slowly and your breath hitches on your throat. You just stay in place, frozen, time infinitely stretching as you take him in from where you kneel on the ground. He stops abruptly the second his eyes meet yours and you could swear he’s holding his breath, his face completely unreadable.

He looks.. he looks like your Joel and nothing like him simultaneously. Soft yet imposing. Handsome yet battered. Determined yet lost. His clothing is simpler, dark jeans, green flannel over a black t-shirt and laced boots, as if he just returned from a working site. His curls are longer, framing his handsome face in a ridiculously good way, more white hairs nestle in his beard that is not that trimmed. Neither of you speak quite yet, taking each other in.

Your mind, your bizarre, ridiculous mind is working on figuring out what day it is. Why does it matter? Did you have an appointment? This is unexpected and a long time coming all at once, regardless of the day of the week. What comes next? Do you draw up an astrological map to determine if it's a compatible date for you to meet? Get it together.

Your facial expression must be pretty funny because Joel smiles awkwardly while scratching one side of his bearded cheek; hey, it’s me.

No, shit, you mentally respond, as if you could ever forget him. Furious is the word that best describes you because these are his first words? Hey, it’s me? And that feeling escalates into an explosive retort because you now realize that you had expectations. His first words? Who cares what his first words are? Were you expecting a tearful reunion, masterfully staged and executed like a romantic film? The guy betrayed you in your own house, sorry, his house. Wake the fuck up.

“Did you sign the papers?” you spit as you rise from your spot and he reacts as if you have punched him in the stomach. His face falls; you see a series of micro-expressions pass over his features before he settles on the last one. Has he been hurt? Did you hurt his feelings? Did he also have expectations?

“Uh-”, Joel raises his brows in genuine surprise, things probably not going the way he expected or hoped.

“It’s nice to see you, too.”, he replies with mild mockery.

Your eyes snap shut and you laugh in anger, lowering your chin to your chest and then looking back up at him, your eyes blazing, your brows mimicking his previously surprised expression, “Are you serious right now?” you cross your hands defensively over your chest.

You stare at each other for a good minute, both of you taking a moment to compose yourselves and regain your balance.

You break first, dropping your head back to your chest, looking down at the heel of your shoe scraping the ground beneath you, exhaling audibly.

“Hey,” Joel tries again, after speaking your name tenderly, your name on his lips, his head dipping down and to the side to try and get your attention back to him, his gaze filled with a mixture of warmth, regret and fear, “hi.”

You shake your head from side to side in repentance, what a great start this is, you keep thinking, “Hi.” is all you give him, still not looking at him.

“Hi,” he repeats, “it’s really nice to see you, bab-, shit, sorry.”, he winces, covering his mouth with his palm, embarrassment creeping into his features. You let out a quiet laugh, exhaling through your nose. You don’t comment on the slip of endearment that leaves his mouth, you don’t correct him, accepting privately that you liked it, you missed it, you longed for it.

Joel studies your face, but makes no comment on your silence. “You look...” he pauses for a split second before deciding to continue, “you look really good.” He hesitates, he doesn't want his compliment to come across as a feeble attempt to patronize you, because he really means it. You do look good, all sweaty and muddy and human and real. You are real. If he took a few steps forward, he could actually reach out and touch you, feel your skin under his fingertips, smell your heady scent, perhaps discreetly lick the remnants of your sweat from his thumb after carefully removing the strands of hair sticking on your forehead. But he doesn’t do that. He doesn’t do any of that.

You don’t quite know how to respond to that, any answer crossing your mind seems stupid or cheesy or dismissive. How do you respond to a compliment from the man who made you worship in his altar, only to have your faith ripped out of your heart?

His eyes keep roaming over your face, your figure, memorizing everything he can, like a blind man who has finally found his light, while he fidgets with an envelope in his hand which reminds you-

“Did you sign the papers, Joel?”, is what escapes your lips before you can think twice.

“No.” and now it’s his turn to lower his head, his eyes avoiding your gaze, as he looks down at his feet.

“Joel!”, you exclaim infuriated, rolling your eyes at him, knitting your brows together in a sign of frustration.

“No, no, it’s not like that. I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you want.”, Joel raises a hand in your direction to stop you from what seems to be a fair assumption, his palm up, facing you in an unspoken surrender. “I thought that- me, not signing, was a way of showing you how deeply sorry I am, how much I wanted to fix our marriage, but I understand now,” his voice wavers slightly, “that I need to respect your wishes. It’s the right thing to do. If this is still what you want, I’m gonna sign it.”

You don’t reply to that last part, only pointing out that “You didn’t have to come all this way to tell me that.”

“No, I didn’t.” Joel agrees.

“Then why are you here?” you insist, reluctant to entertain the idea that he has actually come all this way to apologize.

“Because I owe you an explanation.” is his honest and direct answer, sending little jolts of electricity through your nerves.

“Joel..” you sigh in exasperation. Not in warning or frustration, not really, but in something else. A feeling you can’t really put a name to, the closest you can come to describing it is that of a burden, woven deep into your heart, blossoming rapidly with each beat. There are so many things left unsaid; it makes you feel helpless, like you’re drowning. You want the dam you’ve built around your soul over the years to break so everything you've been holding back can finally pour out of you, but there’s just so much of it, of everything, that you’re terrified. Will the overflowing tank of emotions be completely empty? Will there be anything left unsaid? Untouched? What if the remnants left behind keep licking around your wounds, their waves pushing, shaping what’s left of you into something new, unrecognizable?

And what if, the tank will indeed be completely empty? What you’ll be left with, then? Nothing? Just.. empty? Will you remain empty? What, if anything, will take its place? Will you recognize your new self? Will you like yourself? Will you be able to live in harmony with this shell of a person? This you; you know. You hated and pitied and caressed and comforted and forgave and nurtured you into some version of a new you. But this? Everything will be torn apart, the wounds will be freshly opened, accessible to be examined in detail, plucked and bled and bruised in an all-too-familiar way.

Joel’s voice snaps you out of your trance, “No, I do. I owe you more than that, actually, but that’s the least I can do. And I wanna do that while I’m still your husband. I want to explain myself as your husband. Apologize to my wife, as her husband. Then I’m gonna sign anything you want me to.”

“And if I don’t wanna hear what you have to say?”

“Then I’ll just sign the papers and leave you in peace.” Joel confesses in all his honesty.

You just nod, looking down on the ground. You take a deep breath to ground yourself. You can do this. You want to do this. You need to do this.

You walk towards the house and sit down on the steps of the porch, as he looks at you awkwardly, not knowing where to stand. You gesture with a tilt of your head for him to come sit next to you. You can do this. You realize that you didn’t invite him into the house and you feel a bit rude for that, but it's beyond your empathetic capacity to deal with him being here and to let him into the house as well. “I just like it out here, it’s calm and-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, whatever makes you feel comfortable; I know you don’t want me here any longer than I have to be..” he interrupts you as he sits down next to you, his one side pressing against the end of the stairs, where the railing begins. He places the contract between your bodies, on the wooden floor.

It makes you uncomfortable, his statement, you always want people to feel welcome and relaxed around you. You internally chastise yourself for worrying about his feelings instead of yours, but you can’t help it, it’s embedded in your DNA. “It’s OK, Joel, I don’t mind, we can talk.”

Joel nods, but he remains silent. You don’t break the silence, giving him time to collect his thoughts. He chuckles defeated, shaking his head while rubbing his hand over his face.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, you don’t look that mighty to me anymore.” you blurt out before you can stop yourself and you immediately regret it. It didn’t sound so insulting in your head. You only meant to say that he doesn’t intimidate you anymore. Which is sort of a lie and a truth at the same time. You used to find him imposing, even his mere presence had the ability to make your skin crawl, your heart flutter and your words get catch in your dry throat, you were in awe of him. Every time you laid your eyes at him, even when you were straddling his lap or gazing at his profile as he slept beside you, you always felt as if you were looking up. You admired him.

His heart loses several beats to that. He can read between your lines now. He has lost your respect. Your admiration. The time when you looked up to him in awe is long gone.

“You know, my therapist warned me about this.”, he chuckles bitterly.

“Your-” you can’t hide your shocked expression from him as you search his eyes for any sign of him joking around, but you find none. “You’ve been in therapy?”

“Yeah, I-, I spent two years hating myself,” he chuckles deprecatingly, “and then I realized it was time for me to stop being an arrogant prick, so I spent another two doing it all over again with the help of my therapist.”

You laugh wholeheartedly at that and it’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen in his entire life. “OK, somebody’s off to a good start. Go on.”

“You mean about the therapy?”

“I mean about you admitting you are an arrogant prick”, you say playfully.

He really laughs now, his eyes crinkle up at the sides. You used to love that. You feel your heart warming up. “You can thank Maria for that.”

“For what?”

“For kicking my ass and pushing me to help myself.” Joel admits. “She’s a good friend.”

“Yeah, she is.” you agree through your laughter, the image of Maria actually kicking Joel’s ass is priceless.

“I missed that sound.” Joel is looking at you softly, as if his gaze could break you.

“Hm.” you simply smile at him, not finding it in you to respond with a snide remark. The time for that feels like it has passed, like it’s irrelevant at this point. All you really want is to have an honest conversation, irony be damned.

You both look at your feet in silent consideration for a minute or two. “I thought you’d be mad at me.” Joel reveals.

You exhale through your nose, the edges of your mouth turning up in a gentle smile. “Four years is a long time to be mad at anyone, Joel. Even you don’t have that kind of power over me.”

“Good. I have enough burden on my shoulders as it is..”, he mumbles and you decide to change the subject.

How do you admit that you are still mad at him but in a different way? How do you describe the deep scar his existence has carved into your soul making it almost unbearable to even exist without him? How do you explain that you’ll always carry him with you, no matter what? How do you instill in him that you still believe in the best version of him, the best version you know he can be, the best version of him you once lived with. Yes, you’re not mad at him for the reasons he thinks you are. You’re mad at him because the way he made you love him is stronger than any hurt he’s ever caused you.

“So, what did your therapist warn you about?”

“She, uh- she tried to prepare me for this.”

“Oh? What did she say?”

“That I should not be prepared.”, he laughs in earnest. “That I should not obsess about what I want to say and just be open and have an honest interaction.”

“I like her, already.” you say with a straight face.

He smiles softly, looking down at his boots, while he rests his elbows on his knees, one palm encircling the other. “Yeah… I had some digging to do; I still do for that matter and will be for a long time it seems.”

“Anything you wanna share?” you reply, raising an eyebrow as if you had no idea why he was here.

“Oh, boy-” he squirms in his seat, already overwhelmed by the turn of the conversation, his chest almost vibrating with anxiety, he can barely swallow, small beads of sweat starting to form around his temples. You reluctantly reach for his forearm, trying to calm him down. “Hey, Joel?”

His whole body stiffens at your touch and he wishes his clothes would evaporate so he could feel your skin against his. He fixes his eyes on your delicate fingers lightly squeezing his tight muscles underneath the fabric. “The worst part has already happened four years ago, so-” you shrug, “just breathe.” Joel keeps his eyes on your hand, his heart rate dropping slightly; you ground him. You retract your arm and keep your hands to yourself in an effort to maintain a respectable distance between you. You shouldn’t have touched him at all.

“I think- I think I understand now.” he begins, still feeling the ghost of your touch on his forearm. “How I made you feel, what your words meant. You always did that, you know. And I found it so fascinating and so exhausting at the same time.”

You look at him, confused. Joel continues, “You always chose your words carefully. You had a reason for every single thing you said. In retrospect, I realized that you were handing me everything on a silver platter, but I was too self-absorbed to see it at the time.”

You nod in agreement, gesturing with your head for him to keep going.

Joel takes a deep breath, holding it inside his lungs for a while. His exhalation is controlled, measured. “Fuck. Okay. It was not just the fact itself. It was not just the cheatin’.”

Your stomach clenches violently at his words. The time has finally come and although you know what happened, you where there, when the words come out of Joel’s mouth it's as if you're pulled back to that threshold all over again. It really happened. You feel your hands sweating. “Go on.”, you pronounce carefully, already anxious your voice is going to betray you. You can do this.

“I don’t want to sound all full of myself-” Joel hesitates.

“You won’t.” you interrupt him with conviction. The truth has never frightened you. You welcome it. It feels like a form of catharsis, it feels like you’re finally being seen. Every nerve in your body is on fire. You’re ready for this, for the truth, if only he gives it to you. Please, set me free.

“I was your everything.” he whispers, almost embarrassed, his eyes not meeting yours. You don’t respond to that, not until he looks at you, although the admission shoots straight through your heart. You stare at the side of his face, almost forcing him to turn to you. He does.

“You were.” Simple. True. Clear as the light of day.

“And I ripped that from you.”

“You did.”

“In the worst possible way.”

“Hmhm.”, you don’t trust the stability of your voice.

“And no matter what I say, I can never take back what I did. I humiliated you, our home, our relationship, everything. I-” his brows furrow in an expression of disgust, “I disrespected myself. I burned everything down. I left nothing for you to hold on to, nothing for me to hope for, nothing.”

His chin trembles and his voice wavers as he continues. “The words to describe how sorry I am have not yet been invented. And even if they had, they still couldn’t take the pain away; what’s done, is done.”

He closes his eyes and rests his head on the railing. “I don’t know what I wish for anymore. That you had never met me, so you could be spared all this pain? But I can’t. I can’t wish that, because I’m so grateful to have met you. I married you, I had you. That is what has comforted me all these years, what has got me through all those sleepless nights.” He looks absolutely devastated, desperate.

It feels genuine, because he’s not directing it at you, he’s not trying to convince you, he’s not trying at all. “I have not thought about my pain or what I want from all this for a long time. All I pray for is-” his glistening eyes are searching frantically on the ground, his brows knitted together in a painful grimace. You rest your head on the palm of your hand, your elbow on your knee. Watching this moment like an outside observer, you realize that he's trying to live up to your standards, reminding you of a child trying to impress his parents, only to fail regardless of the outcome.

“Look, Joel, couples break up, divorce, all over the world, all the time. And I guess, they all thought their partners were their everything until they finally weren’t.”, you rationalize, putting everything that has happened into some kind of perspective. It is not the end of the world. It is the end of your world. He doesn’t have to carry this burden on his shoulders for eternity. All you need from him is to understand, to acknowledge what he's done to you, how broken you’ve been.

But if he acknowledges that, if he truly comprehends the tremendous pain he’s put you through, won’t all that anguish be transferred to him? Isn't it unbearable for a truly repentant man to know that he has deliberately caused so much pain?

“But, you see; I wanted that, I needed to be your everything.”

“It certainly fed your ego..” you grin at him.

“No, no- I craved that- that look on your face when your eyes were on me, like there was nothing else, no one else around you, but me. You drove me to be better, to move forward; I felt I had a purpose. You were my purpose.”

“Well I didn’t do much of a job then, did I?” you smile defeated.

“No, honey, this-” he’s determined to make you understand that it wasn't your fault, even if it is the last thing he is going to do. He licks his lips trying to formulate his thoughts, “-what happened, had nothing to do with you, I- I was just- I got in my head..”

You shake your head dismissively, “It’s a terrible burden to put people on a pedestal and expect them to-”

“But you see, baby, that’s the thing. You didn’t.”Joel dismisses your comment and if a bucket of ice-cold water was thrown over your head you wouldn’t feel so frozen. You search his eyes for meaning, because deep down it stings to hear that you could give more. Is that what he’s saying? You didn’t love him enough? Joel catches on and rushes to explain. “You-” god this is so hard, he’s struggling, can’t he just rip his heart open and let you examine it? “You loved me so much, baby and you never asked for anything in return. You let me be who I was. You accepted me completely. You set me free.” His eyes are blown wide, burning into yours with intensity. You look so lost, how does all this fit in with what he did then?

“Darlin’,” he expands further, “we live in a competitive world. Everyone aims to control each other, from business partners to lovers and spouses; everyone manipulates, everyone tries to tell you where to look, what to do, how to act, how to fuck, how to love. Except for you. You let me be. You put your heart in my hands and you set me free. And I took advantage of that and I am truly sorry. I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know. That’s how fucked up I am.” you look at him dumbfounded.

“I can’t connect the dots; I don’t get it, Joel, I’m sorry, I-” you run your fingers through your hair, scratching your scalp in frustration. What does he mean?

Joel winces mid-sentence because he can’t escape what’s coming. This is his last resort. And he knows it is going to sound cruel and he doesn’t even mean the first part the way you're going to perceive it, but for lack of better words, for lack of the better person he could have been, a person who should have never put you in this position in the first place, here goes.

“She made me feel wanted; you made me feel free.”,

he spits out in a hurry, praying to whatever god is listening, that you won’t even catch it, knowing full well that these may be the last words you'll ever let him speak to you.

You are utterly, completely, perfectly shocked.

Then you feel it for the first time in what feels like ages. That old friend consuming you. Rage. It burns your lungs, twists your guts and pierces your heart like a thousand needles. Everything becomes crystal clear. You’re so infuriated, that your mind goes blank. A million words and nothing at all come to your mind simultaneously.

“Let me- let me rephrase that, because actually it was never even about her, I just-” Joel begins, in a vain attempt to stop the tide from crushing you both.

Your palms become clenched fists in front of your mouth, pressing against it, crushing the velvety skin of the inside of your lips against your teeth until you draw blood, in an effort to control yourself. You inhale sharply, keeping your eyes fixed on the land in front of you, blurred by the tears gathering in your waterline.

“She- what?” are the only words you manage to choke out.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter, it was never about her, she was a means to an end and-” your eyes bulge out of your sockets at the statement, “I know- I know how that sounds- just-” his palms come together in a prayerful gesture, begging you to give him a chance to explain.

“A means to an- what the fuck are you talking about, Joel?” the veins on your forehead swell under your skin, creating a map of the river of wrath flowing aggressively through your body.

“It was never an affair sweetheart, but a transaction; one I initiated. She was only a boost to my ego.”

..she made me feel wanted..

..a boost to my ego..

It's all starting to make sense now, and it's the last thing you expect to be confronted with. You've always imagined either a heated affair, a secret love story, him realizing he had found his soul mate in someone else, or him getting bored with you, finding you too much or too emotional or too unlovable. It turns out that you were accused of the one thing you never were.

“Are you-, oh god,” you can hear your heart pounding in your ears now and it takes every ounce of strength not to vomit, “are you saying that you fucked someone else; you fucked your secretary for fuck’s sake, you fuckin’ cliché of a man, because I wasn’t jealous of you?”. Your throat is so swollen, you try to scream your words at him but they only come out in wrenched whispers.

You stand up abruptly, dizziness causing you to close your eyes tightly as you see a million white dots behind the blackness of your eyelids. Your whole body vibrates with rage. You steady yourself on the railing and then begin to pace back and forth, your hands unable to stay motionless, but moving over your face, through your hair, lowering and squeezing the sides of your waist as you lean slightly forward in a subconscious way to soothe yourself.

“Oh my god, oh my fucking god,” you laugh hysterically now, as angry tears run down your cheeks, as if you've been let in on an inside joke. “It’s my fault, everything is my fault-”

Joel is frozen in place, he’s not sure if he should get up and try to reason with you or stay where he is.. or run for the hills. He’s witnessing the unleashing of a caged animal. His tongue feels heavy and numb in the cavern of his mouth but he dares to speak again, “That’s the exact opposite of what I said, sweetheart,” he tries to explain in vain, “I’m sorry if that’s what I-” but you’re not listening to a single word he utters.

“People kept telling me, urging me on, all my life;” and you slap your palms on the sides of your thighs, looking at his direction, but not really looking, “I should be more controlling, more pushy, more..” your voice begins to fade, muttering to yourself through your teeth. “They warned me, you know, that the lack of pressure in any kind of relationship would be perceived as a lack of interest.”

Don't trust completely; hold something back; men like the illusion of power; show them you need them; make them jealous; be jealous, like a manual to a pre-installed setting.

Do you agree to the Terms & Conditions?

Press ‘Enter.’

“But I didn’t listen. I never listened. Because in what world do we choose a leash over freedom?” You turn to look at him now, addressing him as if you were talking to a third party, an outsider, asking for advise or affirmation.

Maria’s words come back to Joel’s mind, words that he had long forgotten about, finally fitting like missing pieces of a puzzle to the bigger picture.

“Maybe the wrong Miller is on a leash..”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Means that freedom is for those who can bear it.”

“I was really stupid, was I not? What on earth made me think that this time would be any different, what made me think that you’d be any different? You’re just- you’re just another man-” you spit your vile angrily as your eyes sweep over him. The look in his eyes is devastated, he feels shuttered, reduced to nothing.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid little girl. When the fuck will I learn? When the fuck am I going to accept that I don't really belong? When?”

Joel is staring at you bewildered, he never felt more helpless in his life. A thousand new thoughts and questions form in your head, things you didn’t even begin to imagine would cross your mind.

“Did you use her?” you ask with renewed vigor, a surge of energy running through your body.

Joel’s cheeks burn with humiliation but he has already admitted it once, what will it do to him to say it one more time? “Yes, I never had any feelings f-”

“No,” you interrupt impatiently, you don't care about his feelings right fuckin' now, “that night, did you use her? On purpose?”

Joel looks lost for a second but the cogs in his head finally turn and “NO! No baby, I wasn’t even aware of you coming home earlier than expected, no. Don’t even entertain this idea; it wasn’t intentional, I swear to god.”

Oh. There’s a new question for Joel. Why did you leave your business trip early? He had never thought about it before, solely focused on everything else that had happened, which now made him wonder, “Did you- did you know?”

“What?” you frown, lost in your own thoughts, not following his line of logic.

“Did you know? Is that why you came back early from your trip?”

You’re still a bit too far gone in your head to think clearly and try to prevent the next question from coming, “Of course I didn’t know, Joel, did it look like I did?” is all you say with a bite, annoyed.

“Then why-” Joel insists, pressuring you for an answer, but he doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

“I- fuck- I need a minute.” you declare and start to walk towards the house.

Joel waited on that porch for almost an hour, watching the sun set behind the mountain, afraid to move, barely breathing in case you stormed out and threw him back where he came from as if him standing still would somehow make him part of the landscape; as if he belonged.

And you certainly delivered.

He hears the screen door open, his back still to the house. You are standing behind him, your arms crossed stiffly over your chest, your face tilted down, to avoid his gaze. He could see the red-rimmed and swollen eyes of yours, despite your efforts to hide them.

“I can’t do this-”

“Please,” his whole face contorts in agony, “please, hear me-” you both speak at the same time.

“-tonight.”

“What?” his voice matching the look of confusion on his face.

“Maybe another time, but not tonight.”

“I-” he doesn’t know how to articulate his thoughts without sounding like an idiot. He drove all this way, four hours straight, to finally get things straight. His brain has short-circuited, unable to put a plan into action. Should he check into a hotel or a motel or whatever the fuck is around here in the middle of nowhere? Should he go back to his place? Do you really want to talk again? You sort of said you did. You said maybe. Fuck. What does he do?

But honestly, what did he expect? That this would be over in the course of one evening? Of course he would have to come back. His eyes are fixed on yours like a deer caught in the headlights. “I came all this way-” he mumbles, choking on the last part, already regretting the words that came out of his mouth.

“Well, too bad.” you spit emotionless as you turn and head for the safety of your house, leaving him stunned on the goddamn porch.

Joel returned the next evening, but you weren't there. He made the four hour journey and came back empty-handed. And you weren't there the next evening, or the evening after that. But he kept on driving the miles, hot wheels under the Texas sun. He didn’t check in anywhere near your small town. He went back home and then back to you again.

The last time he found nothing but a closed door, he finally got the message, so the next time he left the house, before he turned on the ignition, he texted you, as a sign of respect for your boundaries.

Is it all right if I come and see you?

Backspacebackspacebackspace

Is it OK if I come and talk?

And the answer was

Not today.

So, every day he texted you. He didn’t mean to be intrusive, he just wanted to remind you that you were never far from his thoughts, that he was always ready and eager to finish what he started.

You denied him for quite some time. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him again. The confessions he made have knocked you off your axis. Just when you finally felt like everything was falling into place, he dropped this bombshell, making you rethink everything you thought you knew and had sorted out in your mind. You just couldn’t wrap your head around what you’d heard coming out of his mouth. How could he think like that? Why couldn’t he just talk to you? You used to talk about everything; what the fuck happened? How did you not see that coming?

You were sure that he would give up, that he would stop bothering to contact you at all. Was it the monster of self-deprecation? Was it a deep disappointment in human beings and their general lack of persistence in trying to nurture and repair a relationship, or at least trying to give it a proper closure? You didn’t give it much thought afraid of the answer you might get. But you kept saying Not today, until one day, for some reason-

Can we talk?

Yes.

Joel’s heart is beating through his chest so rapidly, he has to cough to regain some of his composure. He almost drops his phone, trying to confirm the most convenient time for you before you change your mind.

That was the first Yes after the day you saw him again. You weren’t sure what you wanted to talk about; if you could pick up exactly where you left off. You weren’t even sure you could look him in the eye again, but you had to see this through.

When you hear the sound of his engine and tires on the dirt road, you take a deep breath and walk out of the house to wait for him on the porch.

“Come on in, I’m cooking dinner.” you announce as you open the screen door for him to enter the house.

“Are you sure?”, Joel is taken aback, he thought the inside of your house was strictly off-limits to him. You were also cooking dinner as if he was an old friend visiting you. He couldn’t help but wonder if he should lower his defenses or not but with the way you looked tonight you didn’t give him much of a choice.

You’re wearing a pair of warm cream jeans, paired with a white front tie shirt, the first few buttons left open, giving him a glimpse of your tanned sternum. It almost looks like a man’s shirt, just messily tied up over your soft skin, revealing bits of your stomach. Could it be another man’s shirt?

You are barefoot. The nails of your toes are painted in a fresh glossy black color. Your hair is casually tied up in a messy bun, loose strands falling around your beaming face. Joel has to restrain himself from pushing you against the wall and fucking you on the spot, by clenching and unclenching his fists. His mouth is salivating at the sight of you, excitement building in his groin. It's been so long since he's felt this way, a different kind of hunger is growing in him at a rapid pace, as if something buried deep inside his masculinity has just awakened from hibernation.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you quirk back at him, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, what you’re both doing. “I’m starving. Coming?” you leave him at the entrance and go back into the house.

“You have a beautiful home.”, Joel admits as he takes in his surroundings, thinking that this is going better than he expected. He also can't help but prepare himself for the fact that this might not end the same way.

“Thank you.” you laugh nervously.

“What?”, he catches the note of disbelief in your voice. “I'm serious, the light is just right, it’s open and warm; it actually reminds me of you.” he says matter-of-factly.

“No, no, I know you mean it, it’s just- I guess it’s high praise, coming from you.” you admit. You always admired what he did for a living and how good he was at it and him seeing your place for the first time gave you another reason to feel kind of nervous.

“Oh, come on, none of that now.” he dismisses the compliment, his voice wavering slightly at the praise.

“Well it’s true, you are excellent at what you do, I mean, the house you built is a work of art and that’s a fact.”

“Which one?”, although he knows exactly which one, he presses on.

“The one we used to live in, together.” You can’t call it your house. You cannot. The mere thought of it makes your tongue feel like it’s on fire.

“Oh.”, Joel smiles as he presses his lips together in a thin line, “You mean our house. It was built out of love, that's why. It's the one I'm most proud of.”

“Hm.”, is all you give him. Déjà vu brings back memories out of the closet -pun intended- for both of you.

“Ok, now you really have to tell me. What is it?”, Joel crosses his forearms over his chest. He has to know.

“What do you mean?”, you try to buy some more time, cause you’re not so sure you want to go in there.

“You had the exact same reaction when I mentioned that, four years ago.”

“Ah, that.”

“Yeah, that.”

“It’s just- it always felt like it reflected your personality rather than mine. Or at least ours.”

Joel looks at you perplexed.

“I’m not complaining, I mean, how many people can claim that their husband built them a house the size of a small hotel as a wedding present?” you chuckle while you continue as nonchalantly as you can muster, “I would have lived in a cave with you, Joel, you didn’t have to go to these lengths to house two people. If you want my honest opinion, this was an ego project. I let it slide because it made you happy. And I liked you happy.” Joel looks stunned, his eyes darting back and forth between yours.

“Baby, I- I wanted to make you happy, to give you the best I could-”

“Joel, I’m not judging you. I am not. But you didn’t show me a single blueprint while you were designing the damn thing. You didn’t ask me what I wanted or how I imagined it. Sure, you equipped it with all the best stuff money could buy, but you never asked me what I thought about it. Not really.”, you see the hurt in his eyes and it unsettles you, but now the rabbit is out of the hat. “Again, I’m not judging you and I’m not being ungrateful, all I’m saying is that for some reason you needed your shinny new wife to live in a shinny new castle. It was a prestige thing. Just think about it.”

“Jesus..” Joel mutters, pinching the sides of his forehead with one hand, feeling defeated.

“Hey,” you give him a wry look, “I tried to avoid answering that question for four years. You were the one who insisted.” you defend yourself, clearly amused by his reaction.

“What else do I need to know?”, Joel wonders in a desperate manner.

“Well.. for how long can you keep coming back?” you joke absentmindedly.

“For the rest of my life..” Joel answers a little too quickly, not a hint of playfulness in his voice.

Your heart tightens at his eagerness, forcing you to admit a consideration that you have had more than a few times before. “You know,” you look over at him, lost in thought, almost like reminiscing, “sometimes I wish I had met you before your company took off.” You snap out of your daydream and consciously look at him and he looks pained as if some kind of realization has hit him. You change the subject for the sake of both of you. “Anyway, speaking of which, how is work? I heard you closed that deal, after all.” you grin mischievously.

“Yeah, I did.”, his voice takes on a strange timbre, almost like regret. But you’re not so sure about anything these days, so you let it pass. He puts the envelope with the contract on the counter in the kitchen and sits down in the chair next to the table already set for dinner.

“Good, that’s good. Let me guess, you’re all over it? First in, last out? Is it almost done?” you word vomit to cover your nervousness.

“Uh,” Joel rubs the back of his neck, “I wouldn’t know.” is all he gives you, clearly trying to avoid getting involved in the discussion.

“Um, you don’t know?”, you laugh lightly in confusion. “How is that possible?”, you ask stirring the vegetables in the pan.

“I’m not involved in the project and I have no idea about the status of the construction;” Joel answers your question and continues, revealing, “I quit. Sold my shares and got out.”

“Yeah,” you draw the vowels, still not looking in his direction, “right. Big, mighty Joel Miller left his enterprise-” you laugh mockingly, but you are met with silence. “You’re joking, right?” You turn to look at him, not believing what you have just heard. You feel your blood freeze in your veins.

Joel shakes his head in denial, “I’ve actually left the city and the only reason I haven’t sold every asset in my name is in case you want to claim any of them. They’re all yours if you want ‘em.” Your mouth is slightly agape, as you try to process what has just been delivered to you.

You open your mouth to protest but he beats you to it, by raising his hand to stop you. “I know you don’t want anything from me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want them either. Not without you. Just take them. Burn them for all I care, liquidate them and use the money as you see fit.”, Joel insists, trying to find ways to convince you.

“You can do that yourself, Joel.” is all you say; you don’t give a damn about his money. Joel nods and leaves it at that, he knows better than to talk about money right now.

You’re curious where he lives now, but you’re not sure it’s appropriate to ask, so you don’t. You prepare dinner and make small talk about simple things like your lives over the past four years. Joel asks you about the ranch, the horses, the chores; you ask him about Tommy and Maria, their newborn son, whom you haven't had a chance to meet yet. None of you dare to break the bubble of normality in which you have effortlessly found yourselves.

It feels like coming home after a long day, the way you both fall into a comfortable silence. Joel speaks your name softly, drawing your attention and your gaze back to him. “What are we doing here?”

“We’re eating?” Just a little longer, let me have it just a little longer.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “no, I mean, what are we doing?” he gestures with his fingers between him and you.

You look at him and then at your plate, playing around with your food, lost in thought. How do you acknowledge that? How do you confess that you’re trying to stretch time? How do you admit that you’re scared out of your mind of how it's all going to end? How do you even come to terms with the fact that you’re not sure you want any of this to end? How do you accept how natural it feels to have him back in your life? How do you admit that after four years the pain has never stopped, but the force, the roughness of it has changed into something softer, yet persistent; never quite going away, lingering.

How do you admit that all the good memories are emerging, because that’s what the mind does, that’s how it protects you, that’s how it helps you survive another day, that’s how it tricks you into falling back into a comfortable routine with him. Even if what binds you together now is his betrayal. How do you admit that you’re afraid of what will become of you once you've finished confessing your truths?

Will he cease to exist for you? Will you cease to exist for him? Will he ever bother to contact you again? Do you really want him to? Will you matter to him or will he move on, start again and shake off the last vestiges of your life together?

Or maybe- maybe he has moved on with his life and that's why he's doing all this, putting all this effort into it. Maybe he is preparing a new, clear path for himself and whoever is in his life right now. Is it her? Is it still, her?

You’re spiraling, lost in your thoughts, biting your lower lip anxiously, like a snake eating its own tail. “Baby?” his baritone voice snaps you out of it, he must have called you several times before you heard him, suddenly aware of hot, fat tears streaming down your face, his thumbs gently brushing them from your cheeks.

You let out a shuddering breath; it’s the first time he’s touched you, in so, so long. And here he is again. The familiar, old friend. He’s pounding on your door now, relentless as he is, screaming for you to let him in, lead the way, take charge, take care of you. You can almost feel his maniacal banging, vibrating through your chest, let me in, let me in, let me in.

Let me in, better angry than scared.

Better angry than scared.

Your shoulders slump, your head feels unbearably heavy. The world has stopped moving. The world is moving too fast. You savor his features as he leans further in, his intoxicating scent filling your nostrils, his eyes pleading, the brown of his irises inviting you to let him in. Joel’s face is that of a man still in love as he continues to caress your skin and you let him.

You let him, because you are a weak person.

You let him because you have been deprived of his touch, of any touch really, for far too long.

You let him because you want to have something for yourself, selfishly.

You let him, because for once you just want to take. Take, take, take.

You let him because you just want to be held and touched and loved.

And even though your mind knows that you shouldn’t want all that from him, your heart allows you that little moment.

“Joel, I’m tired.” you begin, your voice breaking as fresh tears run down your face and onto his thumbs. “Tired to my bones. All I want is to be honest with each other. Do you think we can do that? Can we talk like two adults with nothing left to lose? Can we just be truthful to each other? I know there’s too much history between us, too much hurt and resentment but we both have to try and put it all behind us. I can’t go on like this.”

There’s a stillness in him, realization and clarity dawning on him. He thinks he understands now and it shocks him somehow, as a fact, that there are still things to uncover, to revel in, to acknowledge. Every time he thinks he’s reached the end of this journey, a new sun rises over the horizon.

You don’t need the specifics of his action, at least not right now, or not anymore. What you need is closure. True, honest closure. And that can only come from him baring himself to you. “Yeah, yeah, we can do that. We can do anything you want, baby.”, he squeezes his eyes shut, knowing where to begin, but resisting the thought. He leans back in his seat, dropping his hands from your face as he lets out the breath he seems to be holding in and begins.

“Remember that night before your business trip when you came to my office?”

“Uh, yeah? I guess.”, what a strange thing to mention, you think confused. “What about it?”

“You came to me for sex.”, Joel says bluntly, no need to beat around the bush. This is it. This is how he loses you. Once again.

You stare at him and then, for some reason, look down in embarrassment. You’ve fucked him in almost every way you can think of and now the very admission of that fact makes you feel like an exposed nerve. It dawns on you, how far away this era has slipped away. You feel vulnerable as if you’re talking to a total stranger about your most intimate moments. At the same time, you still know exactly how to touch him, how to please him and a light warmth begins to shimmer inside you.

“Well, that’s one way of putting it, but- yeah..”, you admit, still nervously picking at your food with your fork.

Joel sees your apprehension but he presses on. This is what you asked for. “And I refused you.” The look on your face betrays your confusion. Where is he going with this? Only now, he sees more. He can finally see more. The hurt. The disappointment. “What happened next?” is his next question and does he really think that you can remember all these years later? Does he honestly believe that you can recall yourself leaving his office defeated and crying yourself to sleep? “I don’t remember.” you lie, shrugging your shoulders as convincingly as you can muster.

“You said you loved me and then you left.”, Joel reminds you.

“You- you remember all that?”, your eyes are wide and the look on your face vulnerable, Joel wants to pause it all and hold you in his arms.

“I can’t seem to forget anything about you,” he reveals, “believe me, I’ve tried.”

“What’s your point?”

“Why did you do that?”

“Uh.. why did I do what?”, you narrow your eyes in confusion.

His eyes are piercing yours, provoking you to figure it out on your own.

“Loved you?” He shakes his head almost imperceptibly.

Your eyes widen again, in surprise this time, as you finally see what he means.

“Walked away?” You’re fucking shocked to the core, your voice choked, you’re not sure you spoke out loud.

“Why didn’t you insist?”

Your mouth is wide open, you’re speechless, you flatter your eyelids in search of the right words. This is your second encounter and once again he says what you least expect him to say.

“You refused” you remind him now, “and I respected that.”, your hand moves to rest on your chest, palm open, to calm your racing heart.

“I didn’t want you to.”

“You know how that sounds, don’t you?”, you mock with a nervous laugh.

“Oh, please,” Joel is quick to respond, his brows knitted in a dismissive frown, “like you could ever force yourself on me.”

You genuinely are at a loss for words, your gaze unable to stay in one place, your mind running a million miles an hour.

Apparently you both are, because Joel is no better at explaining how he feels. “I wanted you to-”, he stops, his eyes still searching yours for the right words, pleading with you to feel him.

Oh my god. Oh. My. God.

It dawns on you. All at once. You see it all playing out. You know exactly how this conversation is going to go. “-claim you? You wanted me to claim you?”, your voice rises, as does your tone. You feel the presence of your abandoned friend again. You don’t want him here. But he creeps in through your veins, nonetheless. He is not giving up. If the pounding doesn’t work then he’ll poison you, slowly and persistently.

“From who? You were supposed to be mine!”, you exclaim exasperated, immediately correcting yourself “-not that I owned you, you know what-”

“That! That’s what I’m talking about!” Joel points his finger at you, “That’s what I needed. To be yours!”

“But you were! Are we really haggling over semantics? Of course you were mine! I just never wanted you to feel suffocated by me. You were not my possession Joel, you were my partner!”

“I swear to you, I would die a happy man, baby.”

“I- I tried so hard to control myself-” you mutter to yourself, rolling your eyes back to your head as you shake it in denial, “-all that hunger inside of me, eating me up-”

“What?” is Joel’s turn to look like a lost puppy. What the fuck is going on here?

“You,” you point a finger at him, “you were my first and last thought every passing day, it wasn’t even healthy anymore, Joel. But- I saw that look in your eyes sometimes, a hunger, one I thought mirrored mine and then it was gone in the blink of an eye and I thought that something was holding you back; I- I was holding you back. I thought- maybe I was undeserving..” you divert your eyes from him, embarrassed at your feeling of inadequacy, “So, I accepted what you gave me if it meant I could have any part of you.”

“Oh, baby..” Joel’s hiding his face in his palms and his heart breaks as he realizes where you both stand. How did the two of you get to this point? How could his judgment be so clouded, how could he be so blind to what was happening under his own roof? How could he be so arrogant as to seek validation, one he didn't even need, from someone else? Someone whose validation he didn't even care about. It didn't matter to him. She didn’t matter to him. How could he not sense the insecurity tantalizing your very core to the point of feeling inadequate? If only you had told him sooner.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you mirror his thoughts with your voice.

“What should I say to you? I couldn’t put it into words, even now I'm not sure I can. It was an all-consuming feeling, an absolute necessity, an overwhelming need that was impossible to handle. I wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with it. I loved you with such force that it became an obsession. I couldn’t even entertain the idea that you might not want me back in the same way. I felt helpless, vulnerable. How could I come to terms with this? With the realization that I had fucked someone else just to get a rise out of you or to prove to myself that I didn't need you that much after all?”

Joel’s palms are clenched into fists on his thighs, trying to keep himself from pressing his lips against yours. Feelings and desires that had been buried in his subconscious for too long came back as he tried to make you understand.

“A r- so, you did fuck her on our bed on purpose.”

“You asked me that before, darlin’, I promise you I did not.”

“Then how would you provoke me if you didn’t mean for me to find out?” you look at him incredulously.

“I-” Joel winces, “it wasn’t a conscious thought, I just kept fantasizing about you finding out and burning the house down for me and that single image made me so h-” Joel shuts his mouth abruptly, not the best idea to describe to you how fuckin’ hard he got, fantasizing about you while fucking someone else. You, bursting into the bedroom all raging and furious, turning the whole place upside down reclaiming what was rightfully yours.

Him.

What a sick fuck he was. “I swear to you, no. I’m not that fucked up. It was a gigantic lack of judgment, I was fuckin’ drunk, my mind was a mess at that point. That whole week was-” he’s biting his tongue hard to stop himself while rubbing his forehead with his fingers, “I was just being an idiot.”

“The week I was gone?”

“Yes.”

“What about it?”

“Nothing, ‘snothing.” and he doesn’t elaborate. “Just a bad fuckin’ week.”

The atmosphere suddenly feels suffocating, as if all the words that have spilled out of both your mouths are hovering over your heads like a black cloud. You need some air to clear your mind, so you make your way out of the kitchen without looking back and walk slowly to the porch, sitting on the steps at the bottom of the stairs. You know he will follow. Your bare feet touch the soft soil beneath you and you try to ground yourself through the little patch of earth you call your own. It doesn’t quite work. There’s a beautiful golden glow, a last gift from the parting sun, warming your soul. Everything is going to be all right.

“Strange fantasies we both had.” you say as Joel seats down next to you, the contract once again a barrier between you. “You kept fantasizing about me finding out about your affair-”.

“It wasn’t an affair-” Joel corrects you. “Fine, fine. You imagined that, while I kept fantasizing me holding you so tightly while we fucked that our flesh became one; that’s how deep I needed you inside me, that’s how obsessively I wanted to carry you with me all the time, isn’t that totally fucked up?” you laugh dejectedly.

“I guess we are the same kind of fucked up. If only we could admit it to each other..”

“Did you really feel that I didn’t love you enough?” you whisper, almost too scared to be heard and to get an answer.

“I think we loved each other too much. I think we were both too afraid of losing each other. I think,” Joel pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts and calm his voice, “in our efforts to keep each other we did the exact opposite. More me than you, for sure. I have handled things badly and badly is an understatement.”

“You were always so patient with me. You’d always wait for me to come to you, to take my time. I needed the savage in you, or I thought I did at the time. That desperate thing I felt creeping out of you in stolen glances or bitten lips between your teeth, or when we fucked; no one has ever fucked me like you did. I did see all of you then, you know. And I think you saw all of me. If I made you feel confident or safe enough, you would have talked to me. And if I wasn’t so self-absorbed I would have asked.”

You never thought you’d hear these words from Joel, but all this time of self-reflection has changed him in a way that reminds you of the Joel you fell in love with. The one you could see behind all those layers of self-protection, the one you’d always hoped would emerge for you. And then he goes on, and you wish you knew what was coming so you could protect your heart from being torn to shreds.

“Maybe-” he closes his eyes looking pained, “maybe I was a narcissist. Maybe you gave me all you had and I kept wanting more, maybe I needed every part of you for myself. Maybe I needed you on your knees, on a leash, at my mercy, just to have the illusion of the certainty that you would never leave me. Maybe freedom is for those who can bear it, after all. Hell, maybe I was the one who needed the leash in the end. Maybe you gave me too much credit, my love, when you deemed me worthy of freedom.”

His words are earth-shuttering, obliterating, final. There’s nothing left to be said, at least nothing of substance. Final. The fucking word plays over and over in your head. Final. This is final. You could swear that you have felt every possible kind of pain during these four long years but new depths of agony are being discovered right now. The acid in your stomach makes your throat constrict. You feel petrified.

Joel can sense your distress, his words have been of no comfort to you. Your skin looks pale, covered with a thin layer of cold sweat; you look physically ill. Your forearms rest on your knees and he gently cups your elbow to check in on you. Are you OK? You smile weakly at him, the expression not reaching the corners of your eyes.

“You know I would give anything to take it all back, right?”

Your laughter is more lively now, not with malice or sarcasm, but with a sense of humor.

“Yeah, yeah, I think I do.”, you shake your head in twisted amusement, tilting your head up, to let the last rays of the sun warm your face, maybe bring back some of your lost color. It's getting dark now, the day is coming to an end, the curtains of the last sunlight are almost closed. Your eyes are closed too, your head still tilted back as you laugh to yourself, “You did that backwards, too, you know.”

“What?”

“You have burned everything to the ground, only to realize that you want to get it all back in one piece. I mean it’s- it’s-” you struggle to find the right words but Joel offers one of his own.

“Ridiculous..”

“I was gonna say pointless.. But that’s the thing, Joel. Choosing to be with someone is like faith. You believe because you just know. You don't have to find evidence to prove your choice at every turn, otherwise it’s just exhausting. You choose to trust yourself.”

“Trust me as your partner, you mean, not yourself.”

“Joel, it was never about trusting you..”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand..”

“I’m not sure how to explain it- uh..”, you raise your shoulders and your brows in unison as you shake your head slightly, searching for the words. “Trust is a personal journey. ‘Trust’ doesn't mean ‘trust in you’, I’m not trusting you. No one can be sure of anyone. ‘Trust’ means that I have faith in myself, that even if you hurt me, even if you abandon me, I will not fall apart. And..” you shrug your shoulders, hugging yourself with your hands, “look at me, Joel..”, you finish, suggesting that you’re still here, still standing.

“I am, baby; I am..” Joel replies, taking in the sight of you as if it were the last time he’ll ever have the chance to, utterly compelled by your inner glow.

“I’m not mad at you Joel, not anymore. And I believe you, I really do. But I can’t get that scene out of my head. I just can’t. I can still hear the sounds, I can even recall the way you smelled when you were standing next to me.”

His hands are shaking.

“I’m not trying to hurt you, really.”

“I know.”, his voice is barely audible.

“I think you’ve done enough of that yourself. Maybe it’s time to forgive yourself?”

“Do you?” Do you, really? Do you forgive him after all that has been said? Do all these confessions illuminate the facts from a different perspective? Does it change what he did and what you went through? And if so, does that mean you're letting him go? Are you leaving him behind? Is he leaving you behind? Why is it so hard to let go? Why do you choose the safety of the known, even when it hurts you?

You choose not to answer and instead firmly insist, “You have to forgive yourself, Joel, it’s okay.” Be the better person. If not for him, then for yourself. Let him go.

“I can’t do that.”, Joel is adamant, shaking his head while he rejects your request.

“Yes, you can.” you urge him again. “As I can and do.” Let him go.

Joel never thought he would listen to those words coming out of your mouth. He doesn’t deserve them. He hasn’t earned them. “You forgive me?”, he repeats in utter shock and disbelief.

“Yes.” Loud and clear as daylight.

“I- You can’t- I don’t- I don’t deserve that.” Joel feels like he’s drowning in your so graciously offered Holy Grail, desperately trying to keep his head above the waters of your absolution.

“I can’t be the judge of that, Joel, hell, I can’t be the judge of anyone. The way I see it, you chose your actions and I chose mine. You chose to hurt me and I chose to walk away. We both lost something. Have we not suffered enough, Joel?” you ask him honestly.

“I don’t want to presume, but- isn’t it a great burden to carry on your shoulders when you try to move on? All this anger, all that bitterness?” you search his eyes for an answer but he doesn’t give you one.

You continue, hoping to get through to him. “Your feelings are your burden Joel and it doesn’t matter if I forgive you. That’s why it is you who needs to forgive yourself.”

His eyes still refuse to meet yours, stubbornly glued to the ground. “I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for me. We need to move forward, both of us.” is the last thing you say to him, not knowing if he even listened to half of what you just said.

You both fall into a thoughtful silence, but something you said is bugging him. He can’t quite figure it out, so he turns to look at you, to savor you while he still has the chance. He knows that his time is limited.

You’re just sitting there with him, trying to comfort him, you of all people. You seem lighter now, fidgeting absentmindedly with your fingers as if some of your burden has already been lifted. And as his gaze sweeps over you, he sees it again. He sees the white shirt hugging your body and he knows what’s troubling him.

I don’t want to presume, I don’t want to presume, I don’t want to presume.

His heart beats rapidly in his chest, panic rising inside him.

“I’ve been with you for the last four years.”

“Excuse me?” your hands freeze as you turn to face him, clearly confused.

“You said you didn’t want to presume anything and I need to set the record straight. There was and is no other woman in my life except you.”

“Joel,” you blush shyly, “this is none of my business, you are free-”

“No. No. I need you to know this, it’s important to me. I meant everything I said. You have done nothing wrong. My feelings for you have never changed-”

“Joel, please..” you beg him to stop, you can’t have this conversation now, it’s too soon. No, you’re wrong. It’s too late; too soon means there’s a future ahead of you. A future where you both fit in the same universe.

“I don’t want you to think that I came all the way out here just to tie up some loose ends and move on. That is not what this is about.”

“If you expect me to tell you about my personal life..” your what now?

“No, I don’t. And I don’t think I could handle it, anyway. You are a free woman and you deserve the world. Unlike me; I don’t deserve anything and I’ll never be free of you.”

Your chin is now trembling and you bite your lower lip to stop the involuntary muscle contraction. You can’t decipher if it’s from anger for the way things came to be or from deep, excruciating sadness for how Joel feels. For how he makes you feel.

“Free woman, huh?”, you whisper bitterly, looking down at your feet, willing yourself not to cry.

“Yes, free, as you should always have been and I’m sorry I couldn’t see it sooner.”

Joel then picks up the divorce papers from the floor next to him as he’s fishing a pen out of his pocket. He stares at you and then at the blank space where his signature should be, next to yours. He splays his palm over the last page as if to straighten it out, but it almost looks like he’s caressing it. He brings the ball of the pen to the white surface and for a moment his hand lingers over it. He doesn’t dare look at you again, his resolve is not that strong. Finally, finally he signs, filling the empty spot and he hands you the contract. It’s a strange moment, the one before the signature and the one after it.

Everything seems to be the same; it is just a signature.

Everything feels completely different; it is not just a signature.

Your fingertips brush his as you reach out to take it, the touch sending shivers down your spine. Your slightly trembling hands hold the papers gently, not sure you wanna hold on to them or scatter them on the ground. Your thumb swipes softly over his signature.

You feel it, now. You feel the ground beneath your bare feet, the warmth of the earth, the weight of your footing. The falling has stopped. The feather finally rests. You have landed.

Joel moves to stand on his feet, as you keep staring at the drying ink, when you feel something fall from above onto your thumb; but you can’t see anything as it is immediately absorbed by the hungry pores of the paper, slightly smudging his signature. You look up to catch him as he dries his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

“Free as a bird, baby, ready to fly over the world.”, Joel smiles at you with a look of reverence and devotion in his eyes.

You picture the floating feather in your head and smile back at him with a serenity he hasn’t seen in a long time.

“I think I just want to walk for a while. One step at a time.”

He nods, his eyes still full of emotion and you watch as he begins to walk slowly towards his truck, when suddenly he turns his body to face you but continues to walk backward in the same direction.

“Hey!” he calls to you with a mischievous smile, raising his chin to you.

“Yeah?” you answer, your voice wavering slightly as you try to hide your smile.

“Can I take you to dinner sometime?” he asks as he reaches for his driver’s door and opens it, waiting for your answer, which never comes because you think he’s joking. But he continues to stare at you, with no expectations, quietly, earnestly, sincerely, with a soft, shy smile on his lips. Oh.

Oh.

“Joel..” is all you breathe out, closing your eyes for a moment before you look at him again, because his name is all that is left in your very being right now. Joel.

He seems lighter, too.

“Maybe, one day..?”

“Yeah.. Maybe, one day..”

previous |

Taglist: @southernbe, @orcasoul, @auteurdelabre @leggtostandon @sarahhxx03

@zliteraturehoe @msmorningstaarr @gossipgirl-03 @vabeachazn @joeldjarin

@sofiparallel

[ziminy]

Deep in the water

Where mermaid gojo falls for a human

Tags: smut, mdni, dark themed (kinda) , f!reader, merman!Gojo, handjob, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, creampie, nipple sucking, lots of kisses, inexperienced Gojo (he learns real fast), obsession (a bit too much if you ask me), size difference, marking, biting,

Author's note: I've been thinking about merman Gojo for months, I swear he fits the description perfectly.

Masterlist kinktober masterlist

After months of saving money, you finally got on a ship, ready to see the other side of the world. You couldn't help but feel excited.

The sea breeze, the big shiny sun on the sky, the port full of people. Everything looked so lively, it made you smile.

Your day so far was going smoothly, and you had a feeling that so will be this trip.

Sure, it was all good at the start. Leaving the port, the people cheering in the background as you were getting further and further from the land.

Everyone on the ship was so nice, you even managed to make a few a acquaintances.

You also saw some dolphins, and something that seemed like a really big fish, but you can't really say what kind since it was in the water and you couldn't really see it.

So, the first day was like a dream. But it was the next one that made you feel uneasy.

Since you woke up you felt a pair of eyes on you. You tried to play it off at first, there were a lot of people in there, so it wasn't surprising you felt that way. But it made you feel a little bit paranoid and you couldn't enjoy your time just the way you did yesterday.

And it didn't helped the fact that it started raining.

It was just a few drops at first, not a big deal, it would go away. Or so you thought. Because the weather got worse and soon the rain became a storm.

It didn't helped the fact that it was night, and people were panicking left and right.

Why did you decided to leave the land? How could you be so stupid. Gosh, what will you even do now.

"We're sinking!" someone yelled, making people scream.

Sinking? How? Wasn't a boat made to stay on water? Was it not waterproof? Or were you hit? But by what?

"We're going to die!" someone else screamed. Making people panicking even more.

Children crying left and right, people pushing one another to get to some smaller boats, hoping to get away.

"Women and children first!" someone said, trying to control the crowd somehow.

It was in order at first, people getting on boats in a calm manner.

"We're running out of boats." someone yelled, making the crowd go crazy. Everybody pushing each other left and right.

When did all of this started? You can't help but feel disappointed with yourself. Did you really had to get on a boat? Why did you wanted to see what's on the other side of the sea so bad?

Without even realizing, you were knocked down by rushing people. The last thing you remember was the comfortable silence of the night, after the storm stopped. The sea sounding just like the previous day now, calm, and looking like the event from earlier didn't even happened.

You sighed, finally founding peace, knowing that at least you're going to die stress free.

You close your eyes, inhaling, take a deep breath of the salty scent. You open your eyes to look at the stars for one more time, and when you were about to close them again, a figure appeared before you. A half naked man, white hair and a big grin on his face.

You sighed again, annoyed that you can't even pass away in peace. All you did was to shake your head before you lost your consciousness.

That stranger didn't let you go just yet, his wet cold hands on you, dragging you to him. His face getting closer to yours, he looked at you for a moment before his lips were wrapped around yours, kissing you in hope that it would do something.

You see, he was passing by the port when he saw this ship leaving, going in the same direction he came from.

He was curious, that was the first time this close to the land after all. He had questions and he wanted to know the answers. So, he followed it quietly.

He saw lots of interesting things, the way human socialize, how some tend to hang with people that looks similar to them. Or their relationships with others. Smaller humans tend to stay close to very few people, always sticking to the side of the same person.

He found it interesting.

And when the night came he was even more excited of how things were.

Singing, dancing, everybody laughing and looking like they're having fun. He wants to experience that too.

Imagine his surprise seeing everything changing in a blink of an eyes. The laughter being changed to screams full of fear as everybody were trying to get away as far as possible from the big boat. Some even threw doors or whatever wood platforms they could find.

Not everybody could escape, some throwing themselves in the water, drowning, choosing to freeze to death or sink to the bottom of the ocean that accept their fate.

But when the waters calmed, there was a human who was a lot calmer than the rest who sat on a wooden plank.

So, he decided to approach it. Cautiously swimming towards it, trying his best to not make a sound.

He sat next to it in the the water, looking at it. You didn't said a thing to him, you looked as calm as a few moments ago.

You were different, he had this feeling inside of him that told him that. So, he decided to make his presence felt. He got on the wood surface, looking down at you who was laying down and looking at the sky.

You still didn't said a thing, in fact, you looked annoyed.

Did he came at a bad time? But he really wanted to get to know you.

His heart sink when he saw you closing your eyes, somehow losing the warmth your body had a few moments ago.

But he liked your body. You had this thing that he didn't had, you were hot unlike his cold body. He wanted to know how it was to be this warm.

He had no other choice but to save you, so, he kissed you. Later on dragging you deep in the water, to a place where the normal human being couldn't reach. A cave somewhere far away from the surface, a place where it was dry and full of air for you to breathe.

He had no idea he'll have to do this, so, you'll have no other choice but to lay on the cold stone for the moment. That until he makes this place more comfortable for you.

While you were sleeping, he got everything he could think of, some algae for you to sleep on, some fish for you to eat, and some pretty shiny rocks as a gift. The fish likes it, so you might like it too.

But when you woke up, instead of the calm person he saw before, you were panicked too. Looking at him terrified and trying to get away.

"Wh- where am I?" you said, almost forgetting how to speak.

"I bought you from the ship." he said, half of his body in water, hiding his tail.

"What happened to it?" you said, trying to regain your memories.

"It sinked." he said shortly, but that was more than enough to finally remember what happened. You were calm again, but it didn't lasted for long.

"Where are we?"

"In a cave." obviously, you're not blind. You sighed, trying to think rationally.

"But where exactly?"

"Underwater, not far from the ship." so still in the middle of the ocean. Couldn't he said that from the start.

"How is the weather outside?" that question made him gulp, unsure of how to reply yo you. "Did the storm stopped?"

"No." he lied, trying to keep you in there for a little bit longer.

"I see." you looked at your surroundings and then at him. He was pretty for a guy, like, he was beautiful rather than handsome. That if you only look at his face, because if you lower your gaze to his body, he was very muscular. Broad shoulders, a defined chest, and look at his arms. "Aren't you cold?" you said, finally realizing that he's half naked, and that your clothes are wet.

"Not really?" he never felt cold before, so he haves no idea how that is.

"I had a luggage with me, around this big, it was a dark brown. Did you see it by any chance?" you asked, wanting to change into something that's not wet, but if your thinking about it, there's no way that bag didn't got in the water.

"I'll look for it." he said and got under water, swimming away from there.

There was a big hole the ground , and it had water coming from it. How did it not flood the place, you had no idea, but at least you're safe.

You looked at the place you woke up from, a pile of big green slimy vines, no wander you were feeling weird when you woke up. And next to you was some raw fish. It was too late to throw it in the water and save it, so you have no idea what to do with it.

A lot of time passed by, and that guy didn't came back. Guess you're left all alone there to starve to death.

But when you lost all your hope, he appeared out of nowhere. "I found these." he said and dropped some suitcases on the ground. "There's more." he said and disappeared again.

None of those bags were yours, but there was no harm in looking in them since no one is around. So, you opened one by one and inspect everything that was inside.

So much gold and jewelry, you would make so much money if you sold that. Maybe this trip wasn't that disappointing after all.

"I'm back." he said and left more luggage on the ground.

"None of these are mine." you said after looking at new bags that he brought.

"I'll go look for it again." he said and disappeared again.

It wasn't his fault if he didn't found it. The fact that he got all of these was impressive. So you didn't blamed him for anything since it wasn't his fault to behind with.

But he came back, this time with three more luggages and one of those were yours. And unlike the others, those look completely dried, like they weren't even in water.

You opened all three of them, looking at what the other two contain and trying to decide what you'll keep and what you'll throw away.

"Did I found the right one?" he said, resting his elbows on the rock surface, only having his upper body out the water.

"Mm." you hummed, taking a pearl necklace out of a luggage, you looked in awe at it. Should you sell it or should you keep it? It looks pretty but the money you can make off it.

"You like it?" he asked, being more interested in you than the necklace.

"It looks pretty." that's all he needed to hear before he disappeared again. Coming back much later with a handful of pearls. "Where did you found these?" you said, not believe your eyes.

"I had them." he was so happy with the fact that you liked his gifts.

"You must really like pearls." you said, looking at them and then handing it back to him.

"Not at all." he said, giving them back to you.

"But you have so many." you said, pushing them towards him.

"I find them all the time." this back and forth game was getting on your nerves.

"They're yours, so why are you giving them to me?" he could make some good money with them.

"Because you like them." you blinked a few times. Is he stupid or what? "Take them. Do whatever you want with them." sell them and make a profit. However, you felt too guilty to do that since it was a gift.

"Do you have a box to put them into?" with a big smile on his face, he gets underwater once again, coming back later with a jar.

That could work too, you thought as you put the pearls in it.

The silence was broke by your grumbling stomach, letting everyone know you were hungry. You bite your lip, embarrassed of the situation.

"Is there anything to eat?" he pointed at the fish laying on the ground. "It's raw." he looked confused at you. "You can't eat raw fish." well, he definitely can, but if you can't no worries. He'll get it done for you.

So, he ran to the only person he knew that had a fire. An octopus that a lot of people tend to avoid because of his shady nature.

"Suguru." the white haired merman said when he got into the other fish lair. "Cook this for me." he said, handing the fish to the octopus.

"Why?" the black haired merman said, looking uninterested in what the other man was planning to do.

"You're the only one with a fire underwater." and he haves it for a reason.

"What kind of games are you playing now?" the octopus sighed. "You know what, I don't even want to know. Just give me the fish." he said, grabbing the fish and looking around for something.

"I have a guest." the white haired merman said, following the other, happy to talk about his life.

"And they asked such an odd request?" the white haired merman hummed in response. "What a weirdo."

"She's a human." she? A human? The octopus already seemed annoyed.

"Then she probably haves food on her ship."

"She's underwater."

"A human that can breath underwater? Never seen that before. She probably made a contract with somebody." the octopus was looking for something to talk shit about, not wanting to have anything to do with someone that's not from the ocean.

"She's in that cave, the one that's dry on the inside." he remembers that one. The octopus managed to obtain it by making a contract with a big fish. "Her ship was destroyed by a storm." not his problem.

"Don't you know how humans are? She'll hunt you down the moment she gets the chance." well, the merman doesn't agree with the octopus.

"She's not like the others I've seen before." the black haired man raised an eyebrow, not believing a word that dumbass was saying. "She's calm, she doesn't seem to be afraid of me."

"Anybody can put an act on."

"Her body is warm." it was like he wasn't even listening. "And she smells nice."

"It might be poisonous." the octopus shrugged.

"Just cook that so I can go back. She's waiting for me." the merman didn't looked like he cared what the other man was saying.

"Whatever." the dark haired merman said, rolling his eyes and getting ready to cook the fish. "Here." he said after some time, making Gojo to run from there the moment he got the chance.

"I'm back." the white haired man said when he got back at the cave. "I got food." you walked towards him, lowering yourself to pick the food from his hands.

Your eyes couldn't help but move on the water, it looked like a deep hole, how does he manage to swim in there? "Thank you." you said after a while, trying to brush off that unsettling feeling.

You sat down somewhere further away from the water, too afraid of falling in there.

You ate quietly, taking small bites of the unseasoned food. It was tasteless, who ever cooked that had no skills. But it was better than nothing, surviving was your main goal after all.

Your gaze kept moving from your food to the entrance of the cave, still having questions about how you got there, but not daring to say a word.

"How's the food?" the merman asked, all a smile as he looked at the way you chewed your food.

"It's alright." you can't really complain when you knew your circumstances.

It went quiet after that, no one dared to say a word. You couldn't speak with your mouth full and he didn't said a thing because he enjoyed watching you.

"I never asked for your name." you said after a while, wanting to thank this stranger for helping you.

"Gojo Satoru." he said, his voice making something tingle in your head. Every time he opened his mouth you felt like that.

"I'm Y/N." he kept repeating your name in his head over and over again, too mesmerized by it. "Thank you for saving me. I have no idea what I would have done without you." you should be more careful with your words, really, because his eyes started twitching, his pupils becoming bigger, like a predator who was about to jump on his prey. You made his mouth dry, and he didn't know what to do. There was this urge inside of him to bite you, pin you down and show you his way of doing things. But if you wanted to show him how humans does it, he won't say no.

Before you say anything more unimportant, he wants you to see the real him. Would you still be greatful if you knew what he was?

"Have you ever heard of underwater people?" he asked, his questions completely out of subject.

"Like mermaids?" he nodded. "I've heard stories about them."

"Have you seen one in real life?" you shook your head. "What do you think they look like?"

"I heard they're really beautiful." was he beautiful then? "And they have a really good voice." he doesn't know what to say about that, he knows too many annoying mermaids to say that he agrees with you. "I heard that you can die if you hear them sing."

"They're voice can hypnotize people, it doesn't kill." he corrected you.

"Well, I'm not really an expert. So I don't know." guess you're right, he shouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.

"How do you feel about them? Do you want to meet one?" what's with all these weird questions? Was he planning on scamming you? You can't help but feel suspicious.

"I mean, if I get the chance. I doubt I'll ever meet one tho." he can't help but laugh at your words. If you only knew.

"Are you scared of them?"

"A creature so beautiful that can hypnotize you? Who wouldn't?" he bite his lip, already knowing that he screw up. "But that's their beauty." he looked at you, hoping that you'll say more. "It's normal to feel scared of what you don't know." his eyes were full of fireworks. So, in conclusion, if he does reveal himself to you, you'd be afraid but it was normal.

It's normal to be afraid of the unknown, he kept repeating those words in his head.

He placed his palms on the ground, helping himself to get his body out of water. Now sitting at the edge of the cave entrance, his white tail on display for you to see.

You looked terrified at first, then shocked, and then you looked confused. Your eyes kept moving from his face to his body, his tail, and any other details that he haves that would give him away that he's not human.

"What are you?" your expression didn't showed any signs of happiness, and your voice full of anxiety, concerned for what happened to him.

In response, he moved his tail up and down, making your eyes move with it.

"Are you sacred of me?" he said while moving half of his tail back in the water, hiding it from your eyes.

"Why did you bring me here?" you ignored his question, trying to find an answer for your situation first. You have to know his motives before you can respond to him.

"You were dying."

"Would you still have helped if it was someone else in my situation?" he nodded, making you sigh. "Then I trust you. As long as you don't plan on harming me I don't see a reason to be scared of you." his heart was beating so fast, he was so scared for a moment.

"I can become a human if you want!" he said, wanting nothing more than you to feel at ease.

"You can do that?" what if you met a mermaid before and you had no idea?

"Yes, I can!" he sounded so enthusiastic to show you that he can look just like you. "Wait here." he jumped in the water, going to the only person who could make his wishes come true. "Suguru, Suguru."

"Why are you here again?" the octopus sounded annoyed.

"Make me a human." the black haired man looked like he saw a ghost.

"What? A what?"

"I want legs."

"For what?"

"I promised her that I can transform into a human." what a foolish man. "Give me legs for a day."

"It would cost you."

"You're really going to ask me to pay you? Me? Your friend?" the octopus rolled his eyes.

"You'll have to get something from her, and it haves to be personal."

"Like what?"

"Figure it out." guess the merman haves no choice but to ask you for something. Maybe he can ask for a pearl since you liked them so much?

"I'm back." he said, hopping out the water. You nodded, looking at him and then at his tail. You can't get used to this.

He got a contract in his hands, looking at it for a moment and then at you. "What's that?" you asked, looking at the golden paper.

"I'll become a human with this." he said and sign it, his body started glowing and soon all the features that made him look different from you disappeared. He even had legs legs now.

You looked at him in shock, it was that easy to become human?

You kept studying him. How can he look like this? How did everything disappeared so easily, so fast?

He tried to get up on his feet, but almost lost his balance, that made you to jump up and catch him, a hand wrapped around his arm to keep him in place. "I never had legs before." no wander he was so wobbly.

His tail made him look big, but now that he's standing next to you he's even taller than you thought he'd be.

You looked up at his face, then lower and lower, trying to see what else changed on his body. And oh god, what did you just see. You had no idea mermaids had dicks, and he was bigger than anything you saw before.

You didn't mean to stare, truly, you also didn't mean to have your mouth open, your jaw almost touching the floor. Damn, this took you by surprise.

"Do you have any clothes?" he shook his head. He had no idea what even was that.

Guess you'll have to try and ignore it. And man, it was hard. It made you feel guilty, he probably had no idea what public decency even means. Try to think of something else, shift the conversation to something that doesn't have to do with his body.

"Can you breathe underwater?" you don't even know why you asked that, it was pretty obviously. But you can't think of anything better.

"Yes." he said, walking closer to the water. "You can do it too." so there was a secret breathing technique for breathing underwater? When your going home you can sell this and make big money.

"How?" you sounded so enthusiastic, he can't help but laugh.

"I'll show you." he got his face closer to yours, closing his eyes and leaning in. It made you jolt from there, letting go of his hand and jump a few steps back. He looked surprised at you.

"What are you doing?" you asked, your heart beating way too fast. Both of you looked so surprised at each other's actions.

"Don't you want to breathe underwater?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean we have to kiss."

"How else will you do it if not this way?" he didn't understand your reaction. "We already did it when I found you on the surface. That's why you can understand what I'm saying." he said, all nonchalant like it was a normal thing.

"Huh?"

"If you kiss me again you'll be able to breathe underwater, maybe even swim faster too." should you believe his words? I mean, he didn't looked like he was lying. Perhaps the fact that he wasn't human made you doubt his words, but you would have been skeptical either way, so.

Should you trust him? He helped you all day without asking for anything in return, he looked so happy to fulfill any of your requests. And this made you feel guilty, the fact that he did nothing but good and you're still doubting him.

"Alright." you nodded, getting on your tip toes, your lips touching his for a moment before you take a step back. "Can I test it out now?" you took him by surprise, and he couldn't understand this feeling inside of him that made his body stop.

You looked at him, and that made the fire inside of him grow even bigger. Your big eyes, and soft lips, how you're so much smaller than him. He was feeling like when he's hunting for food, he knew that he could fool you just the way he wanted. And perhaps, it was in his nature to play with the food before devouring it.

"You'll have to wait until I get my tail back." can't he popped it out whenever he wants it? "Tomorrow I'll take you out."

"Then, where will you stay tonight?" if he can bearly stay on his feet, can he even swim?

"Here." it was so pathetic the way you believed him so easily. How you thought nothing about it when he said that he'll sleep next to you. You said nothing even when he wrapped his hands around you, trapping you in place with no way of getting away from him.

It was a few hours after the sun went down when you woke up. You sat up, looking around and trying to remember where you were. Ah, how could you forget that you were stuck in the middle of the ocean.

"What are you doing?" he opened his eyes, looking at you, his voice a little deeper than usually.

"Nothing." you said shifting a little around and trying to get in a better position to sleep.

"Mm." he groaned at the way you kept moving around, the way your body was right into his, the friction was a little too good.

You looked down at him, your eyes moving lower on their own, trailing down his glowing skin until you got see his hard happy little friend.

You didn't mean to gasp, truly, but you couldn't help it when his cock was hard against your leg, pulsating and moving it from time to time.

"What?" he was confused.

"Nothing." try to not pay attention. If he says nothing then so should you.

"What is it?" he wouldn't let it go. He wanted to know what made you react that way.

"No, no, it's nothing. I'll go back to sleep." you layed down, your head on his arm as your back faced him.

He dragged his body closer to yours, his hard cock right into you, making you jolt at the sensation.

"You wouldn't react like that for nothing." he looked at the back of your head, trying to understand what was going on in there.

You turn your head for a moment, looking at him with big pleading eyes before you could feel his dick twitch.

Was he not feeling that? Can he ignore it just like that? Was it because he's a merman? You had so many questions.

He wrapped his free hand around you, moving closer to you, a little sigh escaping from his mouth when he pressed his body against yours. He couldn't help when you felt this hot.

You bite your lip, trying not to look like a pervert. He was playing with your morality and it made you feel so guilty.

If he had nothing to complain about, why do you keep thinking about it.

Humans, huh? Always so dirty minded. Or perhaps the fact that mermaids reproduce different was the problem. And now you can't help but wander how it's for his kind.

Do they transform into their human form to make it happen? Or do they do it the fish way? Can he get pregnant? Can you get him pregnant? Oh god, how do you make that happen?

"You're so warm." he said in your ear, feeling the way your body heats up. His hand traveling on what little skin you have exposed, wanting to feel you better. But there was a place where it was warm even with your clothes on. "Especially here." his hand went in between your legs, trying to feel that hotness your body radiates.

Maybe both of your species were getting intimate the same way? No wander there were so many stories about men jumping off their ships to be with a mermaid. Now it wasn't surprising that you were feeling all horny for him, it was normal. His kind was known for being promiscuous.

You sat up, looking down at him who didn't dared to move an inch, his hand still in between your thighs.

"You win." why trying to fight the urges? He'll make you feel more miserable in the end.

"Hm?" have he done something to make you feel like this was a competition? He doesn't really get your words.

Perhaps he understood it after you moved his hands away, pushing him on his back and getting in between his legs. It didn't took a genius to understand what's going on.

He didn't tried to stop you. If that's what you wanted to do, then go ahead. He enjoyed how you felt on him.

Your hand wrapped around his dick, moving it up and down slowly. He couldn't help but let his head back, falling it on the ground because of this new feeling. Was this why you were so embarrassed before? Because you knew about the pleasure he could get from you?

Pretty moans filling the cave, his voice was hypnotizing, making you want to hear more. No wander you felt seduced from the first time you saw him.

Your hand movement went faster, making one of his hands go to your shoulder, nails sinking into your skin. You'll make a mess out of him before he'll do that to you.

You can torment him even more, and so you did, getting just the tip in your mouth, his cock being welcomed with your hot wet tongue. The moan he let out, lounder than any other.

He's going crazy, the way you suck him in, your mouth hotter than anything he felt before. He couldn't help but thrust his pelvis forward, meeting your mouth halfway through. His hands went to your head, grabbing a handful of your hair and shoving you downwards.

He could feel something deep inside of him, it made him desperate for it. If this is the end of him, he won't regret shit. In fact, he can't help but want to release that faster, even if sucks the soul out of him.

With a few more thrusts, he pushed his cock all the way inside your mouth, cumming down your throat.

He let go of your hair, falling on his back trying to catch his breath. He had no idea what was that but damn, he could do it again.

When he thought it was over, he moved his gaze on you who were taking off your clothes. His eyes fixed on you as you got yourself exposed for him.

You got on top of him, lowering yourself while holding his cock with one of your hands. So there is more to come. He wants to help you, is there anything he can do?

He looked at you, at the way you had your brows furrowed and eyes fixed on his lower half. You tried to get him inside of you, but it didn't seemed to fit. He could feel something even hotter from between your legs, touching the tip of his cock but no matter how hard you try to push him in, it didn't seemed to cooperate.

Do you plan on giving up? Was this the end of it? Skipping on what could be the hottest sex in your life with a merman because he was too big to fit inside? You bite your lip in frustration trying to think of something.

"Give me your hand." you said, sitting in front of him as you took one of his hands in yours

He gave you his hand so happily, trying to anticipate your next move.

What he didn't expect was your warm pussy, the source of that hot feeling from between your legs.

With his hand in yours, you moved it between your folds, spreading your wet juices around. So you could feel even better than your mouth? He doesn't think he can let go of you now.

Moving his hand away for a moment, you shoved two fingers inside of you, moving it in and out of you, making some quiet sounds that reached his ears right away. He wants to do that too, it looks too fun to let him out of it.

Getting your hand to the side, he placed his own back on your pussy, trying to get two of his fingers inside your wet hole.

It sucked him in so easily, and oh, it feels better than he anticipated. His eyes never leaving your pussy as he kept moving his hand. Faster and faster, he didn't spared you a single moment, too lost in how you felt around him.

"Not so hard." you sighed, a hand over his as you tried to guide him. You had this expression on your face that he couldn't understand it. You didn't looked in pain, you didn't looked happy or sad either. So what was it?

"How do you feel?" he wanted to understand you, your emotions and expressions. Everything that could be described as you, or yours.

"It's good." but it didn't looked that way. "Kiss me." but you could breathe underwater now?

A hand went behind his head, dragging him closer to you, smashing your lips against his. And the other went between your legs, on your clit, circling it.

He moved your hand away, pressing his palm against your clit and trying to follow your actions. Maybe he'll understand you better if he does the same things as you.

Oh boy, the way you were squeezing his fingers got him losing his mind.

He really can't get enough of you, and it wasn't surprising by how he was overstimulating you, keeping his hand moving even after you came. He was focusing on your moans, on how your body reacts and how he wants to sink into you even deeper.

"Satoru." you moaned his name so deliciously, now he gets why you wanted to kiss him. It was a way to devour each other, being able to keep going and feel the others presence for much more longer.

You placed your hand on his, moving it away from you as you pushed him back. Holding into his shoulders, you got back into his lap, finally being able to fit him in.

This got him holding his breath. Wrapping his arms around you, dragging you in his arms, having your chest pressed against his and waiting for you to sink your hips into his, to get more of him inside.

Just as much as it got his mind blank, it also woke up the predatory side of his, wanting to bite you, eat you alive and leave nothing out of you. He wanted nothing more but to have you as part of him, playing with you even after you become lifeless.

His head got closer to your shoulder, opening his mouth and biting into it, softly, just to see how you'll react. He doesn't dare to give into his instincts just yet, or at least not a lot.

He doesn't want to hold himself back, and he wants you to do the same. If you plan on hunting him down, do it. He can't wait to see who's the more powerful one between you two.

You moved yourself up and down, slowly, raising your hips and letting them down. You kept doing the same thing over and over again, your arms wrapped around him, to hold him close, just the way he was holding you.

He kept biting you, sucking on your skin and going with his hands lower on your body until he moved them on your ass.

He wanted to do something too, help you move with ease and show him more of this foreign feeling. And so he did, grabbing your butt and moving you up and down.

Your moans so sweet. He looked up at you between his eyes lashes like you were his last meal.

"Satoru, Satoru." you kept saying his name, it only made him bite you harder than before, making you moan even harder.

You were squeezing him again. Are you doing it intentionally? Because fuck, keep going.

Resting your head against his, you wrapped your hands around his neck, cumming on him and making him moan before he followed your lead, filling you up to the brim with his cum.

"You can stop your magic now." he was still inside of you, enjoying the warmth of your body. He was too much for you, you were still horny and you fear this might be taking the whole night.

"Hm?" he had no idea what you were talking about.

"You're so pretty." you looked right into his eyes, kissing his forehead and then his lips. "I don't know how much longer I can last, so stop playing with me." he moved his hands on your body before kissing your neck. You had a sweet scent and he's afraid you might attract others. All merfolks looked good, so he's afraid you might find someone else attractive and leave him.

"I'm not doing anything." he said, looking up at you, blue eyes just like the ocean following you. You moved your hips again, slow, taking a break every time you raised your hips.

"Lies." he shook his head. "I wanted to feel you from the moment I first saw you." human greed might be the same as his. Just the way you were craving for his body, so was him.

"I'm not doing anything, really." he said, moving his lips on your chest, getting one of your nipples inside his mouth and sucking on it slightly before biting it. You looked like you liked it, so he'll continue to do it. "But if it helps, I want you too." he said, moving his mouth on your shoulder before sinking his teeth in it.

What does he mean? Was he not doing magic on you? Why were you feeling like this then?

You moved your body away from his for a moment, making him look desperate at you. He wanted to leave more marks, his scent on you, to let everyone know about his presence.

"You're not doing anything?" he shook his head. So you're the one who started all this? It wasn't his pheromones? He didn't put you under a spell that made you crave for his body?

He looked at you, his hands moved on your hips, dragging you back on his cock and making you gasp when he hit that deep spot a bit too hard.

You were so confident a moment ago, and now you wanted to back down?

"You can pretend that I am, if it makes you feel better." he said, moving his hips into you. "I won't do a thing." not unless you make him to.

He'd happily make you dumb for him, but it was so much fun when you were the one starting everything. He won't experience this if he plays with your mind. But there are other ways to make you want him. Just the way small fish stick together to their own kind, he'll make you feel like everything was danger besides him, he'll make you run from everything unfamiliar.

"No, it's-" your protest won't work on him.

"If that's what you want to believe then go ahead." he dragged you back into his arms, your chest pressed against his as he moved his dick inside your warm hole.

You shouldn't have made a move without consulting him first. Now look at this, you're stuck with him. What if he doesn't want to help you go back home anymore? If he even had the intention to do that.

"Then, are you alright with this?" he laughed, making your heart skip a beat.

"Why wouldn't I?" with his hands still on you, he guided you up and down his cock, showing you what he learned so far. He'll mimic your moves, whatever you're doing he's doing.

He loves the human way, it felt much more intimate. Your body right into his, heck, he's even inside you somehow. This was better than what he had in mind, like, so much better that it managed to calm his carnal desire. He wanted to chop you into pieces, he wanted to be under your skin in a way or another. Or even better, if you did that to him he wouldn't complain. But now he can have you next to him, touch you, feel you, and be inside places he never thought of.

You were so warm, he can't get enough of it. On the outside, your skin was burning, and it made him stick more to you, push his body into yours to try to feel you better. And on the inside? He was melting. He never felt something this hot before.

Somehow, this made him want to see how much further he can get inside of you, how much of himself he can push in? He didn't mean to go too far with this, he really didn't, but he realized his mistake only after you feel on your back, off him.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his senses getting back to him a little. He still can't believe he lost control of himself for a moment.

"Yeah." you said, looking up at him.

"Let me help you get up." you shook your head.

"Come here. We can do it this way." you could do it in other positions? Now he wanted to test his creativity.

He looked down at your body, observing it from a different angle.

He got closer to you, trapping you between him and the ground. He positioned himself on top of you, getting inside your pussy, slowly. He haven't even been out of you for long and yet he's acting like he haven't touched you in years.

He's surprised how much easier he can move now, it gave him much more control over you. You can't move without his approval, and he can't help but feel exited.

He was nothing but a whore, getting pussy drunk from this little. He was about to forget his own name, and he would happily do that if he could be inside you forever.

"I love you." or more like, he loves your body. But his confession went to deaf ears, you acted like you didn't heard him. "Y/N." you chose to ignore him. "I love your body." he looked right into your eyes, and honestly, you can feel whatever witchcraft he's doing. His magic worked on you, and you're afraid to admit you don't have much willpower to object.

A hand placed next to your head, while the other went to your hips, dragging your body up so he could move more freely, to get even deeper than he already is.

He was smart, and as much as you don't want to think about it, you might not be able to fool him. He had a brain and he was using it, he was working way to fast, understanding you and how your body works.

He could smell the fear off you, and it was much more sweeter than your pleasure. It made his mouth water, it made his pupils bigger, his eyes fixed on you like was about to eat you. Kill you and store you somewhere even deeper than a underwater cave.

"Touch yourself." you looked surprised at him. He knew how to talk like that? Since when? "Right here, where you did it last time." he was talking about your clit. "You looked like you were enjoying it, so do it. Touch yourself until you can't do it anymore." he had no shame, or perhaps he didn't even knew what that even means.

You gulped, a hand traveling between your legs, doing circles on your clit and waiting for him to say something else. But he had nothing more to say, you knew your body the best. He wanted to know more too, fuck, he'd go and do another contract just to be able to know you better than you knew yourself. He'd sign a hundred more contracts to be able to read your mind.

"Tell me where you like it." he said, wanting to see you break. There had to be a limit to this please, and he wants to see you crumble. "And how." he sounded out of breath. "How should I touch you?" fucking mermaids, fuck him and his beautiful face, he was so perfect that it annoys you. His voice, seducing you every time he opens his mouth to let words out of it, his body that seemed to crave for your touch. Reacting to everything you say and do, learning everything your body likes. "Come on, tell me." he begged. "I want to please you." man, what did you just said. He's making you forget about your morals.

You bite your lip, looking at him with pleading eyes. He had no idea how to react to you, everything you do is so new to him. He's so hesitant, and he hates it. He wants to do everything right, he wants to do you right. How does he know you like it if you're not telling him?

You took his hand in yours and placed it somewhere on your body, somewhere where you wanted to feel his touch. "Touch me how you want, I'm not picky." that was the problem. He wanted you to be more precisely, he wanted you to ask some very specific requests. Don't let him guess, because if it's after him, he wants to skin you alive so he could wear you. How else would he know if he's not in your shoes.

"How is it here?" he stopped his movement, too focused on trying to figure out your body. He likes all of you, from head to toes. "And here?" he moved his hands somewhere else. "Here?" he was talking too much, he was doing the most and yet nothing at the same time.

You moved a hand behind his head, dragging him down and smacking your lips against his. "You're thinking way too much. Stop it." but he still had questions.

Whatever, he haves more than enough time to find out.

Kissing you, he started to move his hips again. This time, he was less careful. He pushed all of him in, and with each movement, the force he was using increased, and so was the speed. The thrusts that were slow and soft at first now being changed to this animalistic like movement. His tongue in your mouth, fishing for yours while his hands were groping and touching everything he could. Your breasts, your arms, hips and anything that was on your body.

Your sounds, he wanted them. He wanted to eat your voice, if he could even do that. His heart was beating so fast and he knew he couldn't do anything until he fills you up with his cum.

The cave was filled with wet souds, and if he could, he would let every single creature in the ocean know about you two. How he makes you feel, the way you roll your eyes and how your body reacts to his.

Your insides are squeezing him again. Do you like it? Because he can't figure it out and it's infuriating him.

"Wait, wait." you didn't looked like you wanted him to stop though. You had your eyes closed, mouth half open, and the cutest expression on your face.

His mouth moved to your shoulder again, wanting to bite you to keep himself in place before he does something he'll regret.

You were trembling, your legs closing around him. "Fuuck." you cursed under your breath. Biting your lips, you let out a muffled moan, cumming a lot harder than before, making him cum right after you too because of the way you were hugging his cock so tight. "No more." your chest was moving up and down, and it was hypnotizing him. "Really, I can't take it anymore."

He doesn't think he could too. Anything more and he feels like his body would give up on himself.

But it was more than enough for that night, perhaps, he'll go and make another contract tomorrow and ask for some legs again.

And now that he thinks about it, he did what it said in the contract. He got something of yours, your body. So, now he can sleep reassured.

The next day, you woke up a lot lately than you usually do. But you can't really figure out what time it was since you haven't seen the sun in a long time.

"You're awake?" someone got inside the cave after a while. Oh, you almost forgot about him.

"Yeah." he looks like a merman again.

"I got you food." that same bland fish. But it was better than nothing.

"Thank you." you said, taking the fish and trying to finish it as soon as possible to get over with it. He looked at you, tail swinging left and right and a big dumb smile on his face. Next time he gets legs again, he'd like to fuck your mouth again. This time he knows what to do so don't think you'll be able to rest for a bit.

"I saw some pretty clothes." he said, suddenly remembering of some suitcases he found. "I want to see them on you." he didn't want to let other people see you naked, so, he might as well dress you with the most beautiful things he finds.

"Sure?" that was all he needed before he disappeared, coming back later with some dry looking suitcases.

"How are they so dry?" you looked at the clothes. It was like they don't got wet in water.

"I put them in bubbles." he said, making a small bubble appear on his palm. "I take up the water to dry and then put them in bubbles so they stay that way." how could you forget he wasn't even human.

"I see." what else could you say?

"Try them on."

"Now?" he nodded. All you did was to sigh, looking at him for a moment and how he didn't plan on getting out the cave so you could change, or at least turn around.

He had a tail now, he couldn't do anything at the moment. So, you took your clothes off, making him look with the same old predatory eyes on you. He should have went to get another contract before he came back, he wants his legs now.

He stood at the entrance of the cave, half of his body in water and the rest on the ground, looking at every single move you made. "Turn around." he said, making you do a spin. "Walk a little." he wanted to parade you, put you in a bubble and show everybody how beautiful you were. In his eyes, you were like one of those pretty gems, and he knows others would think the same, because of course they do. They weren't any different from him.

"What do you think?" you asked after you tried everything on.

"I'll get more clothes for you." he was ready to go back and look for something new.

"No, no, it's alright. Come here." you stopped him, making him jump out of water and crawl next to you. "I feel tired. Stay here for a little longer." he sat down, waiting for you to get in his arms and get some rest.

He loves studying you, you were so fascinating in his eyes.

You're careful with your moves, even when you touch him. Your hands were so much smaller and yet it would always managed to leave such marks on him. He can't help but want more.

He wants his legs back, but that dumb octopus won't give it to him. Saying that he's too busy to make a contract and trying to find all kind of excuse to not give Gojo what he wants.

You look so cute, looking at him with big doe eyes, eyelashes moving prettily. It's like you're begging for him. He wanted to give you all of him, but he couldn't when he didn't had what you needed. Stupid tail, stupid dick. He's stuck with only cuddling because of this.

"I've been thinking about it." he said one time after he got you food.

"Hm? Did something happen?" he had a serious expression on his face, and it made you put questions.

"I don't know when I'll get my legs back." what a weird sentence, it didn't made sense but at the same time, it does. You never thought you'll hear something this stupid, and yet, you fully believe him.

"It's alright. I don't see a problem with you being a mermaid." but he does. He's so close yet so far. This fire inside of him was eating him, his desire for you was way bigger than any morals he might had. How can he become one with you again if he's not human? How can he calm his cravings if he's not deep inside your warm pussy?

"What if you become one too?" he said without even thinking.

"What?" you looked surprised at him. He wasn't lying was he?

"I rather be human, but you can become a merfolk too. I can show you so many places. You could even leave this boring cave and find a way cooler one." right, how didn't he thought of that. He'll get a few contracts before leaving, and then search for a pretty beach where you could satisfy your desires. He already can see it, under the stars, your bodies pressed against one another and kissing each other like there's no tomorrow. The places you two could do it.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah! Absolutely! I know a guy who can do it. I'll go talk to him and I'll be right back." he jumped in the water and gone he was. "Suguru, Suguru." the octopus was already sighing. "Do something for me."

"No."

"Come on. Just hear me out." the dark haired merfolk shook his head, already being done with the merman.

"What do you want."

"You can make me a human, right?"

"I can give you the illusion that you're a human, but yes, I guess." the octopus already knows what Gojo was going to say. "I'll give you legs if you leave me alone."

"I mean, sure. But I'm here to ask you to make Y/N a mermaid." the octopus froze in place. A human? Becoming what? A human? One of those monkeys on the surface becoming what?

"No." like heck he'll do it.

"Come on. She said that she'll find a cave with me where we can live until we die." humans are so deceiving. Can you believe that such a weak creature managed to capture this dumbass attention?

"Alright. I'll see how you're stupid human is before I decided on doing something." and that's how you woke up with Gojo and another merman in the cave.

"This is Y/N." the white haired merman said, presenting you to the one who didn't wanted to get out the water. "And this is Suguru, he's the one that gave me legs."

"I thought that you can just do it, like blinking." you said, but all you got in response was Satoru's laugh.

"I wish." he had a smile on his face. "Anyway, can you give her a tail?"

"Hmm." the octopus said, still not convinced. You had a pretty face, he doesn't know about your intentions or what you might have in your head. "What do you think about him?" the dark haired man said, pointing his finger at the merman who was next to him, tail in the water and moving it left and right.

"He's good." you didn't elaborate anything more.

"He's different from you." the octopus said, making you nod. "He could kill you whenever he wants." you nodded again. "He could do it right here right now, and no one would know about it."

"Suguru." the white haired merman said, his happy face now serious.

"I know." you were well aware of it.

"Aren't you afraid of him?" you didn't said a thing.

"It's normal to be afraid of what you don't know." Gojo said, repeating the same words you told him.

"I mean, is there anything not to be afraid of?" you sighed. "He's beautiful, like, truly. I never seen anything like this before so it's a bit scary. Is he even real?" you started talking, making the merman to smile again. "I'm afraid of my own kind, sometimes I get scared of my own shadow." the white haired merman jumped out of water, coming next to you. "Even you're a bit scary, if I'm being honest."

"He's always like that. That's why no one talks to him." Gojo said, dragging you in his arms and rubbing his head against your hair.

"What about now?" the octopus said, placing his hands on the ground, pushing himself up so he could sit down on the cold rock. "Am I just a bit scary?" he would have lied if he said he didn't expected you to act cool, put a act on and try to look brave. But no, instead you looked terrified at his tentacles. "Hah." he puffed, already knowing that he was asking too much from you.

"It's normal to be scared, that's the circle of life." Gojo came to your defense. "She looked even more scared when she saw my tail." he said it like it was something to be proud of.

"How?" you couldn't understand them. It was truly strange. It didn't made any sense to you, no matter how much you tried to think about it. "What happened when someone touches your.. Um.." you pointed at the octopus tentacles.

"Want to find out?" you shook your head. "Thought so." you're just like he imagined. Weak and pathetic. "I could figure something out for you."

"Really?" the white haired merman said, happy with the news. "Give her a tail like mine, we'll match."

"That doesn't rely on me." what a disappointment. "If you want to do a contract with me, you'll have to pay a price."

"I'll do it." Gojo said, willing to do it on your behalf.

"That's not how it works. She's the one doing the contract, she'll have to do it." the octopus said, moving his eyes from the merman to you. "I'll give you a tail in exchange for something."

"I don't have money." you replied instantly.

"Humans, so materialistic." he was talking like he wasn't getting fishes bankrupt left and right. "You'll have to find a merman to spend the rest of your life with." Gojo didn't looked happy at those words. "He needs to have white hair and blue eyes." wait a moment, was he actually helping? "And a white tail too." the octopus said, looking at the merman and trying to find stuff that described him. "His name haves to start with a G and a S." can he get more specific than this? "It haves to have the letters, a, o, u. Lemme think." he paused for a moment. "T too, and a r. Oh and a j."

"Where will I find someone like that?" you asked, not thinking too much about that ridiculous request.

"I wander so too." Gojo was blinking prettily, all a smile and already thinking of where to get out for the first time. So many places to see, so little time. "Anyway, I'll get the contract ready by tomorrow." the octopus jumped back in the water. "Here." he threw something to the merman. "Do whatever you want with it." and with that, he left.

"What's this?" you looked at the golden paper. All he did was to kiss you before he sign it, suddenly starting glowing and then having his legs back.

He wasted no time, jumping on you, kissing you while his hands went under your clothes.

"I've been dying to do this." he said, pausing in place to look at you taking your shirt off. He's going to make it up for all the time he had to only look at you. And it was showing because he tried to get inside of you right away. "Why does it not fit?" you did it last time. He doesn't understand why it doesn't work now.

"I'm not ready yet." so there's a certain time he haves to do it? Damn, he missed his chance. "Kiss me more." he can at least do that.

His kisses were much softer now, knowing that he can't do anything, he should at least enjoy the way you felt on him.

You took his hand in yours, going back between your legs and showing him how much wetter it got. And that got him an idea.

Getting his face away from yours, he pushed you down, getting between your legs. You're so sweet, he could never get enough of your scent. It was intoxicating, and he got even more drunk for you the moment he tasted your juices.

He moaned, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed, tasting more of you. Why didn't you told him that he could do this? How could you hide this from him.

He wrapped his hands around your thighs, dragging you closer to him, pushing his face harder into you. He took a deep breath before taking a long lick of your juices, another moan escaping his mouth.

He was sucking on your clit, and then cleaning any excess juices that got out of you. Liking and sucking, he kept doing that again and again.

"Put it in me." you left out a broken whimper.

"Not yet." he haven't had enough of you yet.

"Your fingers. Do it with them." oh right, he can do that. There were so many things that he could do, he lost count of them.

Two of his fingers went inside you, moving them in and out. He didn't forget about your clit, especially when he knows that you like it there.

Your sounds were the best, your voice singing so loud for him. He loves it, truly. And perhaps you liked what he's doing too, because you started squirming around, making him try to hold you in place, and making the fingers inside of you to curl. "Toru." his eyes went wide open, looking up at you crying his name. What did he do to get you like that? Then it hit him, and he curled his fingers again making you let out another cry.

His mouth was watering. There's so many things he doesn't know about you and he wanted to see them all. He got up from between your legs, his hand still moving, giving you all the attention you needed.

"What's that?" he sounded so happy. Big grin on his face and looking down at your face. He kissed your cheek, licking it after. He really was about to eat you alive, and if the psychotic expression he had wasn't obviously, then dunno what else you needed to know that you're in danger. He started biting you, your cheeks, your lips, and even your neck. Perhaps he put too much pressure because he could see your face changing.

He moved his fingers in and out, giving you a break because he started to curl them again, his palm against your clit, rubbing it while moving his hand.

You grabbed his arm, trying to calm your breath. But nothing really worked when he was doing his best to see what new expressions you'll show him.

"Kiss me." he didn't wanted to, but he did it anyway. Smashing his lips against yours, and not really doing much since he was more interested in torturing you.

He kept his face closer to yours, looking down at your pussy who was sucking him in. That idiotic smile still on his face, wanting to add more fingers in you and see how much you can take.

"Come on, do it already. I want you inside of me." he couldn't give a shit about your pleas, he's too focused on his new discovery. "Satoru." you looked at him so cute, but he didn't wanted to entertain you. "Come on, Satoru." it was like he wasn't even listening to you.

You cupped his face with your hands, kissing him and trying to make him move his focus on something else. Your hand went over his, getting his fingers out of you, slowly pushing him down so you could get on top of him.

"I don't want to." he said, somehow coming regaining his composure.

"But I do." he had a serious expression on his face, but that didn't stopped you from getting on his lap, wrapping his hands around you. "I'll do it if you don't."

"I want to do it." but can you trust him when he switches so fast? It was a bit scary, how he loses control over himself.

"I'll do it." you shook your head, a hand on his dick to keep him in place and slowly sinking your hips down to meet his. He let out a sigh, still not over the fact that you stopped him.

You moved up and down, taking your time with the action since no one was rushing you. He looked impatient, but he didn't dared to do a thing. He just kept his arms around you, looking at how you move yourself on him.

He got his face closer to your body, wanting to bite you, but you stopped him. "Don't do a thing. Just stay in place." you took his hands off you. "No touching." why? This was bullshit.

You don't trust him? Fine, he can sit in place. It's not like he can't do it.

So, he stood there, watching you, his eyes moving up and down everytime you moved. One of your hands went lower, between your legs, rubbing your clit softly. He could do that, he can definitely do it. And the fact that you're not letting him makes him feel offended.

You keep gasping, your voice a lot quieter than before. Did you enjoyed it that way? Because he would be more careful next time. But of course he will, he can't be put in time out again. How can he explore your body if he's forbid from doing anything.

Your warm walls are squeezing him again. But he's doing nothing more than watching you, forgetting about himself as he's too absorbed by you. Have anyone else told you that you look beautiful when you cum? Because heck, he could watch you all day.

You're breathing hard, resting your head against his shoulder as you try to come back from your high.

"Can I touch you?" he asked, already raising his hands.

"Sure." he placed his hands on your hips, caressing your skin for a moment before he moved it to your ass, grabbing it and moving you up and down.

Slowly, just the way he saw you doing it. He watched his actions, paying attention to how you're reacting before he increased the speed.

He'll be more mindful from now on, he promises. But now, fuck, you feel good. He would have got lost in the feeling again if he wasn't trying hard to sane.

His lips on yours, trying to take some of his pain away, to take his thoughts away from how hard he wants to fuck you right now.

"Is there something on your mind?" he looked so defeated, you couldn't just sit there and not ask him.

"No, it's alright." lies. You cupped his face again, looking at him before kissing his forehead.

"Come on, tell me." one of your hands went to his hair, playing with it and making him sigh again.

"Let me fuck you." you laughed. "I'm serious. Let me do it." he looks so lost, what will he do if you say no?

"Sure." he raised your hips, holding you in place before he started to fuck himself into you. Moving fast without giving you a moment to spare.

He loved you when you were louder, when it didn't look like you were keeping yout voice from him. He wanted to do stuff to you, for you. So don't leave him hanging, let him do more.

With his face in your shoulder, he sink his teeth into your skin, making you let out a few broken cries.

He kept going, and going, he didn't stopped bullying himself inside you even after you came, and he definitely didn't stopped even after he did it.

"You'll get a pretty tail, right?" he asked some time later, before going to sleep. You were in his arms, ready to fall asleep and wake up tomorrow ready for another day.

"I don't see why not."

"There are so many things you have to see." he rested his head against yours. "I'll show you everything."

"Mm." you murmured something in response before falling asleep, dreaming about being a fish and swimming around in a big blue ocean, the sun above you and surrounded by all kind of marine life.

Author's note: now I'm thinking of octopus Geto. I'm too lazy to write something about it but I'm full of ideas at the same time. What a life.

[mirohlayo]

MOONLIGHT

inspired by moonlight - ariana grande

( Your love was like moonlight. The kind of love that feels as rare and beautiful as a perfect night under the stars. )

warning : fluffy fluff

word count : 846

The sun was setting slowly, while a romance film was showing on the TV. The images flashed by, the sound rang in your ears but, at that moment, you weren't paying attention. The warmth, the comfort, this feeling of being at home emanated throughout your entire body. The presence of each other, perfect love.

Lando had fallen in love with you two years ago now. He had never met a woman like you. Shy, sweet, caring and intelligent. But you also had this slightly extroverted, funny and silly side that made you incredibly wonderful. The contrast of your two personalities made you a unique and charming woman that Lando absolutely wanted to marry.

And this curly haired man was clearly the man of your dreams. Maybe it's cliché, but he had it all. He always paid attention to you, devoted free time to you whenever he had the opportunity and liked to give you various gifts for simply no reason. So after all this time, of course you immediately said yes when he asked you out.

And now you were experiencing perfect love. It's funny how you've never felt such emotions, such feelings. It was like there was a direct chemistry between you, like you were meant for each other forever. You felt so, so loved. And he felt so happy in this relationship.

In fact, your love was as beautiful as moonlight. A love so bright that lights up like the gentle glow of moonlight. A bit like the feeling of being in love with the light of the moon. This intense light shining in the dark and this star, it was so rare and beautiful to see that. But it fit your relationship perfectly. Moonlight was for on a metaphor for your love.

Your love was so rare, but so beautiful. You helped each other, grew together and filled each other with happiness like no one else could. It was precious to you.

Then, Lando pressed his lips to your neck, gently. You were sitting comfortably between his legs, locked in his arms, and peacefully at peace. It was perfect. His kisses tickled you gently, and you couldn't hold back a giggle that immediately made your boyfriend smile. He loved hearing that sweet sound coming from you. “I wish I could make you laugh like that every single minute of the day”.

He whispered softly because he absolutely didn't want to break this moment of comfort and happiness. “I would probably be dead you know.” You grinned at the stupid thought, but hearing Lando's soft laugh made your heart warm. "Yeah, and I literally can't live without you, princess. I think I'll stick to just make you laugh whenever I have the chance to". He placed another soft kiss on your jawline.

You remained silent, savoring this moment of intimacy. The moon was now shining in the sky as you looked down at it. Your boyfriend noticed, and his eyes landed on the moon too. "I've always loved looking at the stars and the moon. It's just... beautiful." Stars shone in the hollow of your eyes, amazed by the beauty of the night.

“I’d say stunning even.” Lando couldn't take his eyes off you, as he admired the most magnificent thing in the world for him. And when he felt your soft lips place light kisses on his fingertips a few moments later, he understood that he couldn't stop.

He couldn't stop loving you. No, never. He was destined to love you with all his heart for the rest of his life and thinking about it, he couldn't be happier. After all, that's what he wanted most in the world. His arms tightened around your waist as he took the time to nuzzle his head into your neck.

"I love you... No, I'm in love with you. With every single part of my body. I love you for everything, baby. I don't need to give you a whole monologue again because you know already that even up there, I will desperately continue to find you to prove to you that my heart still beats for you. Just, thank you for everything. I love you always, love." His words were precise, clear and full of honesty.

You couldn't have given a more beautiful speech than that. He knew how to make your heart beat violently and how to make you cry with joy with his touching and deep words. You barely held back a few tears, but you managed to get a few words together. "I'm so in love with you too, Lan. Always, forever and more than anything".

It was enough to fill him with happiness, even to make him blush and smile like a child. And now that your faces were face to face, inches apart, everything seemed right. Everything felt right. Then under a last ray of moonlight, your lips exchanged sweet nothings, your most intense and sincere feelings.

Moonlight. Your love was like moonlight. The kind of love that feels as rare and beautiful as a perfect night under the stars.

[tragedybunny]

Sunlight and Stars in the Sky - Astarion x F!Reader

I've been at this so long I'm not even sure if it is any good, but it's as finished as it will get I suppose. It ventured into angst a little more than I had planned and I'm thinking there may be a part two. But anyway, here's the end up with the nicknames they use for each other in my other fics.

The Githyanki Creche is not the promised salvation and you deal with it by trying to drink your problems away. Astarion ends up taking care of you and starts to deal with his feelings and the fallout of his actions.

Unsteady footsteps came up behind him as he stood by the dying fire, in another life that would make you a perfect target. “‘Starion,” you said in a little sing-song voice from behind him. 

“Yes, my Sweet,” turning, he’s already wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you. From the footsteps he could tell you’d been drinking. The Githyanki Creche hadn’t turned out to be the salvation you had hoped for. Some of your companions were taking it worse than others, Lae’zel was in her tent, talking to no one, and you, you were piss drunk. 

“I hate this,” you lean into his chest and despite the grim reality, he feels an odd sense of contentment. 

“I’m sure nobody is particularly enjoying the moment but-” He was cut off as your lips started to kiss their way along his collarbone.

“You know what could make it better…” Teeth suddenly nip him and he jumps involuntarily while you giggle, you put him on edge lately for some reason. “A quick little tumble in the bedroll.” 

Just the thought of taking you in this state of inhibition, so little control over yourself, makes his stomach turn. A small part of him asks if you ever have control given his lies, viciously he kicks that part back down. “Not tonight, my little Snack, you are far too drunk.” 

The pout you reply with is impressive. “Aw, don’t you like me anymore?” Despite your clear inebriation, the words are like a blow and he’s lost for a moment. 

“Of course I do.” Instinctively, he pulls you closer, only for your fingers to start fumbling with his trousers. Gently he takes your hands and holds them away from himself. “Alright, I think it's clear you need some water and to lay down." 

"I'm fine." You push away from him and wobble dangerously before ending up on your butt in the dirt. "Ow," dejectedly, you stay where you landed until your shoulders quiver and he worries tears are next. 

Sighing, he reaches down and scoops you up in his arms, looking you over to make sure you didn't hurt yourself. "How about a deal Darling," he can't believe what he's about to say, "you agree to lay down nicely and get some sleep and I'll let you stay in my tent tonight?" 

"Really? You never…" The two of you have never shared space for more than a perfunctory few minutes after sex, and usually Astarion very much prefers it that way. But you're a drunk emotional mess and you just seem to need him and that small part of him that he keeps pushing away wants to help you. "I don't want to, gods what's the word, im-im-"

"Impose?" The way you nod silently without looking up plants a strange sensation in his chest. "Don't be silly, you're my partner aren't you? How could you be imposing?" Softly he kisses your forehead and starts toward his tent. 

As he settles you gingerly among his blankets you look around with wide eyes as though surprised to be here. "It's so red," you giggle before slowly laying back and staring at him as he gently removes your boots. 

At least you had ceased your attempt at erotic pursuits for the moment. "I'll get you some water, you need to stay up long enough to drink it." 

It only takes a few moments for him to retrieve your waterskin from your tent and return to find your eyes shut. He takes a brief second to just watch the way your chest rises and falls and the sublimely peaceful expression on your face. "Sweetheart," kneeling down next to you, he holds out the waterskin, "you need to drink some water." 

Eyes slowly open and you sit up, making a little whining noise. "Fine." Taking the waterskin, you drink most of it in one go before lying back on your side facing him. "Happy?"

Your sudden aggressive tone makes him chuckle, of course he's seen you fight, but right now you're as threatening as a lost kitten. "You'll feel better for it in the morning, I promise." 

"Mmm," already your eyes are closing again. "Lay next to me?"

The soft plea feels irresistible despite knowing he's feeding you another pretty lie and he shouldn't encourage this. If only you weren't so damnably kind to him all the time; his sweet sunny little half-elf, even from the moment you met, trying to help a stranger kill an Intellect Devourer; he wouldn’t feel so odd about everything. You’d fed him when he’d tried to bite you during your sleep, stood up for him after, protected him from the Gur, and listened to every rant and complaint with an open mind. Even during sex, you tried so hard to please him, to make him feel good too, readily experimenting with anything new, and offering up your throat time and again. The mask must have slipped a few times because once you’d very embarrassedly asked him after the act if you were a bad lover. He’d tried so hard to reassure you he was just having a bad day, afterall, it wasn’t your fault he couldn’t feel the same pleasure, but you still looked so sad for a long while afterward.

Cuddling up close to you, he wraps you both in his blankets, arms enfolding you, and can’t help but notice how perfectly you fit next to him, head tucked under his chin, like you were made to be there. Gods, what’s wrong with him? He lays a delicate kiss on the sensitive little tip of your pointed ear and you hum contendly. “Happy now, my little bit of Sunlight?” The pet name slips off his tongue, surprising even himself. 

“Does that still mean I’m irritating,” you mumble softly and he puzzles over it before remembering. 

Another moment of kindness from you. One of the first days after the Nautiloid, he’d seated himself so far away from everyone at the campfire, he was practically in the shadows when you came to sit next to him. “You can come closer to the fire Astarion, you don’t have to keep so separate.” 

“I’m fine,” he’d snapped at you, panicking that anyone was so near to him so soon after escaping Cazador’s endless cruelty. Your mouth opened to answer back and he’d cut you off. “I said I’m fine, hells, you’re as irritating as the scorching summer sunlight.” You’d backed off but not before he’d seen the hurt in your eyes. The compliment feels as though it turned to ash in his mouth at the memory, he wishes he could take that night back. There's a lot of moments from those first days he wishes the same of. 

“That was a very strange couple of days for me,” his fingers find your hair of their own accord and start brushing through it. “But no, I mean you’re bright and warm and beautiful,” and not meant for creatures like me, he adds silently. “Like Sunlight.” 

Eyes opening, you tilt your head back to look up and study him for a moment, unexpectedly lucid. “And you're as wondrous and amazing as the whole night sky full of stars, and worth any bit of darkness.” 

The words leave him stunned as you close your eyes and settle back against him. “You don’t mean that.” 

“Of course I do, my Starry Sky,” you punctuate it with a kiss on his neck before drifting back in your half-asleep state. 

There's an urge to retch and cry at the same time, what a farce he’s made of your affection. He holds you tighter, as if that could undo any of what he’s done. You deserve the truth, he knows that, but not tonight, because once you know, you'll despise him. A few more days, to soak you up, just like sunlight, and then he’ll slip back into the darkness he deserves, where there’s nothing to warm him. 

[annymation]

The Kingdom of Wishes- A “Wish” Rewrite

Chapter 17- To Give You Even More Than... This.

Chapter 16

"... I gotta go now" Aster's voice cracks, though his smile remains, as his eyes try to hold back some heavy tears.

"... Now?" Asha's voice vacillated.

She watched as Aster's dust floated up to the sky, slowly making them disappear, as if bit by bit the star is returning to the sky...  Asha understands what this means, but she doesn't understand why. Why now? After everything, why can't they have one moment of peace?

"You can't leave now" She pleaded "W-we just WON! We got to celebrate, we can finally relax and..." Asha's nervous smile melted into a frown, it takes one look for her to see how he's just as heartbroken as she is. "... You don't have a choice, do you? Now that my wish is granted..."

Aster just nods slowly.

"... Hey! But that's okay!" Asha's smile returns, her eyes lit up with an idea "I can just wish upon you again! Then you'll come back-"

"I won't be allowed to come back." Aster blurts out the bad news as fast as he could, like ripping off a bandaid, thinking maybe if he says quickly it will hurt less... That didn't work.

Asha's hopeful smile disappears "Wh- What!? Why not?" 

"I broke too many rules..." Aster murmured, watching himself slowly disappear "I let myself be seen by other people, I helped you WAY more than any star is supposed to... I fell in love." a bittersweet smile grows on his now almost transparent face "Heh heh pretty sure that last one wasn't a rule before, but now it sure is." He joked playfully, as a single tear ran down his cheek.

Asha didn't think that was funny at all though, she felt anger bubbling up inside her "You helped me grant my wish, and now you get punished for it? How's that even fair?!" She vociferated in frustration.

She's not angry at Aster, but rather at the world itself for keeping them apart.

A few people from the crowd finally notice what's going on with Aster, including Asha's friends. The 7 teens approach the pair. They already knew this was coming since Aster told them back in the forest, but they too weren't ready to see him go.

"It's not..." Aster lamented, but even then, he still tries to comfort her, with that same everlasting gleam of optimism in his smile "But hey, at least we got to enjoy our time together the best we could, right?" The star took a few steps forward, so he could be closer to her, or at least what was still left of him.  

They both know that no time in the world would ever be enough for them.

"I... I wanted this to last forever..." Her big brown eyes already had tears threatening to fall "There's so much I wanted to show you, so much I wanted to tell you..."

Aster is just sketch lines now. He tries to dry her tears with one hand, but now he's translucent, he can't physically interact with anything. Aster frowns as her tears go right through him, he cannot comfort her anymore. The star's body is more in the sky than on land now, so he gives her his last words before leaving completely 

"Up there, I'll still see you, and hear you... It won't be the same, but I'll always be there for you-"

"Even if I can't see you." Asha finished his sentence, that notion does comfort her. 

"Heh... That's right-"

Asha leans forward to kiss him.

Aster gasps, but before he can react...

He's gone. His sketch lines erased, as he returns to the sky against his will.

... Asha's wide eyes stare up to the sky.

With her head looking upward, those heavy tears begin to flow down freely. A pained sob that was stuck in her throat finally comes out.

Asha feel's Dahlia's soft and warm hand on shoulder, and Asha immediately turns around to give her a hug, the other teens join in to comfort her.

"... How can we help?" Dahlia asked sympathetically, determined to comfort her friend in any way she could.

Asha lets go of the hug with her head low, glancing at the wand in her hand, it still has Aster's magic, and now, she can use it to draw anything out of thin air. She takes a few deep breaths and dries her tears. Looking around, she sees so many people staring at her, they stopped celebrating just to know how she feels, all concerned and sad for her.

She turns her attention to the buildings around them, some are entangled in giant thorny vines that the king and queen created to destroy the kingdom. The kingdom's gorgeous architecture is now practically ruins. Asha thinks of all the families that now have no homes to rest in after all this... And she concludes this is no time to cry, for her wish is not granted yet.

"Well... We can start by getting hid of those vines," Asha began, surprising her friends with her half smile "Only then we can start rebuilding."

The 7 teens are taken aback by how quick she dried her tears... But that's just who Asha is, ready to step forward to help those around, and they all happily follow suit.

"I can get some gardening tools to help with that hihihi" Bazeema is the first one to chime in, which is quite rare, but it seems she just can't contain her own excitement

"Yeah!" Asha agreed, now with a beaming smile despite her teary eyes "And I can use my wand to draw temporary houses for everyone." 

"Woah woah woah EVERYONE?" Gabo cut in, motioning with his arms that she should calm down, though his smile is encouraging "Asha, you might get a broken wrist from drawing so much, chill." He warns cheekily but with a genuine worry she might overwork herself.

"You don't have to do so much" Simon reassured, his tone a lot more cheerful than ever before, and the bags under his eyes are gone "I mean, you already did A LOT for us heh heh" 

"He's correct" Comes in a voice from the crowd.

Asha turns to see who it is, and it's the same street performing jester that sang to her (chapter 2). The jester gives her a formal bow, while holding something she feared she'd never see again

"And I believe you've dropped this, young lady." He says as he hands to her-

"My Saba's mandolin!" Asha exclaimed in relief.

Asha gently holds it. Last time she saw the instrument was when she threw it on Magnifico's head to save Aster, from that moment on, the girl worried he might have destroyed it, but thankfully it was in one piece... Well, sort of, she quickly notices parts of the mandolin have bandages to mend it, and some of the strings are new.

"You fixed it... Thank you." Asha gives the jester a grateful smile.

"Consider it an apology for disrespecting your point of view that day..." The man says feeling quite ashamed, but then he bows his head respectfully "And thank YOU for everything, miss."

The people from the crowd nod in agreement. Some gratefully curtsey and bow their heads slightly to her, almost as if she was a princess.

Asha gives them a gentle curtsy in response.

"Sooo how about some music to lighten the mood while we fix this whole mess?" Hal asked her, encouraging Asha to play the mandolin.

Asha was about to, but she remembers Aster's magic that made her able to play at all would only last a day

"Oh... I don't actually know how to play it anymore" Asha laments, her smile wavers when she reminisces of the time her and Aster played together.

Dario nudges her so she looks at him signing "That's alright" The blonde has a huge smile as he reassures her "You'll learn in time, just gotta practice it."  

Safi adds on, or at least tries to "Just like we all- A- we AAAA- AAAAACH-"

Dahlia places a finger under his nose to stop him from sneezing, then finishes what he was about to say, probably.

"Just like we're all going to learn how to grant our own wishes." Dahlia says with a smile, giving Asha a wink.

Asha's smile is as bright as the sun rising, as she holds the mandolin ready to play it, regardless if she knows how to or not. We turn our attention closer to the cords as she begins to play them, which transitions to a song sequence with no lyrics.

In this sequence, we see the people of Rosas all work together to rebuild their kingdom. They cut down the rose vines, make bricks for reconstruction, carry the equipment and so on. Basically we get a sequence like the "All of You" song from Encanto, but without lyrics because we already had TWO LYRIC FILLED SONGS one after the other a few minutes ago and I think we had enough. Also I don't have the will power to write lyrics for this.

Anyway, Asha uses her wand to help everyone, drawing things such as a dragon to get all the giant vines out of the kingdom. She also draws houses for people to live in temporarily. Although the people are very grateful, they reassure her they can do a lot even without her help, which makes her really happy, both because it shows how the people are learning to not rely on someone else's magic to make their wishes come true, and also, not everything should fall on her shoulders, she has done more than enough.

We see the people painting over the illustrations of Magnifico and Amable that were everywhere. On top of it, they paint colorful and creative works of art that reflect who they are. The kingdom that was once all painted in tones of white and blues, so shallow and lifeless, now is filled with color, bursting with personality and life all around.

They destroy all the statues of king Magnifico and queen Amable, well, at least all the ones that were made by hand. They use the remaining pieces to make new building material.

Days and nights go by, imagine like a timelapse shot, and the kingdom is rapidly rebuilt to it's former glory, perhaps even better than before.

The song sequence ends with us seeing everyone celebrating that their home is restored, Asha and her friends front and center as they cheer together.

We fade into a scene of the kingdom now at night time.

The stars are shinning brightly and there's no clouds in the sky. Everyone in Rosas seems to be asleep... Except for one person.

Asha walks with Valentino through the kingdom's alleys. It's worth noting the baby goat has bigger horns now.

As she wanders, Asha admires the new paintings on the walls of the buildings, lighted by the gentle glow of the full moon.

She's not awake just for sight seeing though, she actually has two very important tasks. The young girl and and her goat make their way to... The statue of King Magnifico and Queen Amable. The only statues of them left in the whole kingdom.

The statue is on display, yes, but not to be admired or to show respect, but rather as a reminder of what they did, and so the fallen king and queen can see how the kingdom is prospering, now that they're gone.

But Asha is not going there for them neither, she's going to the lynx laying down on the statue's feet.

"...Hi Bravo, it's me again." She chimes in, getting the attention of the big grumpy feline, she has two bowls on her hands "I got more food and water for you." she says, as she cautiously places them next to him.

The lynx growled and hissed at her angrily, and yet he didn't get up, just kept staring at her with eyes full of resentment. She understands the message and backs away slowly. Valentino is surprisingly calm, as he knows the wild cat won't attack them, he hasn't done so in the past few days they've done this.

"... I'm going to the forest" Asha sighs, pointing to where they're going "Would you like to come with us this time?" She asks the feline, hoping today will be a different answer... But all he does is lower his head, curling up closer to the statues. Asha looks down disappointingly, but also understanding "I get it. You're not ready yet." She goes on her way, giving him a small wave goodbye "You can take all the time you need, okay? I'll come back tomorrow with more food... Good night."

As she and Valentino walk away, the feline's green eyes follow them. His grumpy face morphed into a sad one, and he turns to the bowls of food and water in front of him. The big wild cat seemed conflicted, as he gazed upon the water inside the bowl, he could see himself and also his petrified owners behind him... Bravo then rubs on the queen's dress and the king's legs one final time, as if to say goodbye, before he begins to walk away from them, following Asha to the woods where he belongs.

The statues are now left all alone.

So now... We cut to Asha on the tree. That same tree she climbed to make her wish.

She lays down on the large branch, holding her sketchbook full of notes. Valentino sleeps soundly on her lap. She gazed upon the stars, or rather, one specific star, as she talks about all that has been going on lately, and from the looks of it, she has already been talking for a while.

"- It's better than I could've ever dreamed of! I thought everyone was happy before, but- now they truly FEEL happy! Like, not just smiling ya know?" She rambled to Aster, her eyes sparkling with excitement "And- OH OH yeah! Dahlia's parents have been making the BEST meals we've ever tasted! In fact, everything in the kingdom just tastes better, and looks better too... I'm sure you'd love it." Her eyes become downcast for a moment, as she looks to a sketch of Aster on her new sketchbook. It has a star on the cover, different from her previous sketchbook that had a rose. "Then again, I guess you can't taste the food, right? Heh heh... And you're already seeing how much things changed from up there... But still." She stared at the drawing longingly for a moment, before snapping out of it and smiling to the small star above her once again "Oops! I'm rambling again heheh I should wrap this up, wouldn't want to stay here until sunrise... Again hahaha" She laughs it off, recalling a previous night she went to talk with him and stayed up the whole night long. She flips her sketchbook to a page with a small list of thing she wanted to share with him "Let's see what else, what els- Oh yeah! This morning a little girl called me "princess", that was pretty cute. I tried explaining to her we don't have a monarchy anymore, and she just looked at me like "huuh???" hahah... So I kinda just rolled with it." the girl shrugged, as she nudged Valentino to wake him up, so they could go home. The goat slowly opened his eyes as she continued "I'm no princess, never wanted to be one, but... I guess that's what people see me as now... And I don't know, I'm happy with that... At the end of the day, who they're seeing is just... Me. Just some girl who didn't give up on them... Maybe that's what being a princess is all about, right? Hehe" She chuckled as she got up from the tree branch, and carefully climbed down the tree. "Anyway, see you same time tomorrow!"

Asha begins to make her way away from the tree, back to the kingdom she goes... But then her eyes lit up, for she just remembered something really important

"I ALMOST FORGOT!" She once again turns her gaze to the star "Hahah wow I really am tired- Well, I don't know if stars even celebrate it but anyway... Happy birthday, Aster." 

She knows it's his birthday, because it's the date her parents passed away, the date her grandfather wished upon a star, and Aster gained his purpose. That was 18 years ago.

However, when she turned to look up at him again... The small star is not where it was before.

Asha was smiling a second ago, but now she looks puzzled, she squints her eyes trying to find him, but it's like the star simply vanished. The girl was about to ask herself where they were, but her answer comes sooner than she thinks...

"Yeah, stars don't celebrate it actually" Aster's voice chimed in, with the usual cheerfulness she missed so much.

...

Asha felt her heart jump out of her chest, not believing her own ears. Her face is astounded as turns to the source of the voice...

Lo and behold, Aster is sitting on the tree branch, happily dangling his legs with his trademark cheeky smile. 

"Buuut they decided to make an exception for me today, I even got a pretty neat birthday gift heh heh" The star added, trying to hold in their own giddiness, almost as if he's "playing it cool" 

Asha stared at him, her jaw dropped and her eyes were so wide it's like they'll pop out of her face... She blinks, squinting her whole face a few times, like she's making sure this is not a dream.

"Maaa!" Valentino snaps her out of her daze, as he happily hops back to the tree to greet Aster.

Asha realizes this truly is not a dream. She feels her heart pounding as she sprinted back to the tree, almost tripping on the grass as she does so.

Aster let their emotions overtake him as he eagerly flew to her embrace, giggling with childlike joy.

The two lovers hug like they haven't seen each other in years, even though it's been only a few weeks.

"You're back! Did they finally agree on letting you stay here?!" Asha was overjoyed, as her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and she felt that same warmth and safety she missed so much.

"Hheeheh Agree is a strong word" Aster chuckled, with his eyes pointed upward while he embraced her warmly "There's so many of them, I'm pretty sure they can't unanimously agree on something" He concluded with a smile as the two parted from the hug to look at each other, Aster admired the gleam in her eyes as he added "But I did make a deal with them."

"... A deal?" Asha still smiled broadly, but she raised one eyebrow at that comment "What kind of deal?" 

"Heh it's a long story" The star admitted looking to the side. He hates to say it, but pretty much what he did was wish upon all the stars above to help him be with her, and after a lot, as in, A LOT, of convincing, they finally had a compromise. Luckily, Aster knows just how to summarize that story "... I think I can explain it to you... In my own way." Aster quotes the same phrase he always tells her before he begins to sing a song.

And sure enough, he leans forward, his forehead gently touching her.

As begins to sing.

And we get the song:

This Wish (Star Reprise)

So I looked up all the stars, just like me And I told them just how bright is your light "Her heart is bigger than any galaxy Her bravery outshines us all in the night"

(Asha blushes, as Aster describes what exactly he told all the stars about her, she hugs him tighter and so does he, he begins to fly with her in his arms, as he sings the second verse)

So I made this wish Asking for our everlasting bliss So I made this wish To give you even more than...

(Aster moves his head to look at her in the eyes as he caresses her face gently, Asha smiles at him expectingly to know what he's gonna say... Aster takes a deep breath)

*breathes in* *breathes out* ... This.

(They kiss.)

(Asha is stunned for a second, but quickly melts into the kiss, shutting her eyes as they slowly go round and round on the air. Valentino is jumping excitedly on the ground bellow them. With her eyes closed, Asha doesn't see that Aster and her are being enveloped in golden magic flowing around them. The music swells, with orchestral instruments being played triumphantly. The stars are shinning brighter.

Aster's magic is leaving his body, and we see that as they kiss Aster slowly turns from a 2D animated drawing to a 3D model like Asha. But not only that, his clothes also begin to change, as his long flowing cape is dissipating into star dust, floating around them like a gentle tornado.

Once they slowly and gently land their feet back on the ground, Aster's magic shoots up like a firework (That also happens in beauty and the beast but I couldn't find any gif with that part))

(Asha and Aster softly separate from the kiss. Asha still has her eyes blissfully closed, so she's yet to see how Aster has changed...)

So I made this wish To stay forever with you like... This

(Asha still has her eyes closed while Aster sings the first line. She opens her eyes during the second line, and her face grows into astonishment and wonder, as she sees Aster's new form... The focus turns to Aster when he says "This")

(Drawing by @uva124 I cannot stress this enough: GO. FOLLOW. HER! Aled is so talented!!! AAAAAAH!!!)

Aster is now a 3D character, but that's nothing new, we've seen him like that before in his human disguise... What actually changed was his clothes, because now, Aster is wearing a white shirt similar to the ones worn by any citizen in Rosas, with yellow embroidery on the sleeves. However, the most noticeable change by far is their hair...

It's brown.

With subtle curls forming on some hair strands.

Asha blinked in amazement. Her hand slides down to his chest and she realizes... He has a heart beat now, she can feel it beating fast. Asha smiled at him warmly as she notes 

"You're human..."

Aster is just awestruck, as he looks to his own hands and new clothes with eyes wide and mouth agape. He feels so many sensations:

The cold air getting in his new lungs

The smell of the woods at night

The feeling Asha's hand on his chest, in a way that feels completely foreign to him, because now, he can finally feel her warmth too.

"How do you feel?" She asked curious, as the boy seems a bit overwhelmed with everything all at once, he takes a moment before he actually manages to speak

"I- I never felt better!" Aster blurts out, thrilled beyond words as he tries to describe all these new sensations "I can feel the wind, the ground under my feet, the air filling chest I-... I can feel you." Aster looks at her lovingly, and hugs her tenderly "You're warm." He sighs, like he's about to melt into her arms.

Aster's legs shake slightly like he's getting used to standing up, so Asha helps him while also hugging him back, feeling how the now young human's embrace is just as comforting as it always has been, somehow even warmer than he was as a star.

"You too." Asha says softly "So this is your birthday gift from the stars, huh? That's quite a gift heh heh" Asha giggles, now looking into Aster's brown eyes.

"Yup, and it was NOT easy to convince most of them, let me tell ya ahaha" Aster laughs cheerfully, till he looks up and notices something new in the sky, he smiles once he sees it "But they decided that if I managed to give you a true love's kiss, they'd make me human... Not only that, but they'd also use my magic to create something really, REALLY, special."

Asha looked puzzled, and turns her head up to look at whatever Aster is staring at... And she gasps, perplexed by what she sees...

Up in the sky, there's the brightest, biggest and most beautiful star Asha has ever seen... The North Star.

Asha and Aster are holding each other closely, as they look up to the brand new wishing star in the sky, both admiring the awe-inspiring sight.

"It's so beautiful..." She breathed softly, leaning on Aster as she looked up "I bet a lot of people will wish upon them." 

"Yeah... Wanna make a wish?" Aster asks.

"Hmm... No need." She says, as she turned to Aster and placed a hand on their cheek "I got everything I could wish for, right here."

She kisses him on the lips once again.

The music swells as we pan out away from them.

We can see Aster lift Asha up and spin her around in the air, while Valentino hops happily around them, and we can hear their laughter as the perspective goes away from them and into the night sky.

We focus now on the night sky, the north star shinning brightly on the corner as we see the stars writing something, like a constellation forming the words:

The End!

End credits roll, with the song When You Wish Upon a Star sang by Sara Bareilles playing

(Thank you so much to @frogcoven88 for recommending the song and following this story from the start, you were right, it really fits the end credits!)

The credits end, and we get a post credit scene.

It's Asha playing "When you wish upon a star" with Sabino's mandolin, she's playing it perfectly. Aster is sitting next to her. They're both gazing upon the North Star.

"You're getting really good at this." Aster compliments softly once she's done playing.

"Thanks!" She replies happily, leaning her head on his shoulder, and he leans on her head, as they look up to the sky.

The screen fades to black and the last thing we see is the wishing star blinking.

The End.

Final Thoughts

... So... That was something, wasn't it?

Before I gush over how writing this whole story was an unforgettable experience for me and all that emotional stuff, let me list off my thoughts about everything in this chapter.

First, why did I make Aster leave and then come back a few weeks later? Well initially I was just gonna have him and Asha kiss and he turns human cause the stars were like "Fiiiiiiine you two are cute, we're convinced" but then I realized that would mean having their whole kiss and emotional goodbye IN PUBLIC, and I just felt very uncomfy with that idea, so I thought "TIME SKIP!" and so we get them ALONE kissing and confessing their love in the same place where it al began, sweet.

Also I wanted Asha to have a moment with the people of Rosas, having the jester represent all of them, with the gesture of fixing her grandpa's mandolin as an apology, but also as thanks for everything she did to save them. Initially I was gonna have a child give her the mandolin, but I think the jester from the first song returning is a nice touch.

We see how most of Asha's friends, or at least the ones that needed personal growth changed, Bazeema is less shy, Gabo is more caring, and Simon of course isn't sleep deprived, yay!

The Bravo scene broke me ya'll, I have a soft spot for animals, and truly I don't think Bravo was even evil, like, sure he wanted to eat Valentino... What predator wouldn't? He just wanted to please his mama and papa, and now they're gone and he kept waiting for them to come back like one of those dogs waiting for their owners at a train station and WAAAAA- WHY DO I MAKE MYSELF FEEL BAD FOR THE VILLAINS?! Anyway, Bravo went on to live in the forest and he's fine.

Asha was called a princess a lot in this story. Sabino said she was a princess because her dad was a "Prince" and her mother was "A fairy", she was called birthday princess by her friends, the villains wanted to make her a princess so they could control her, Aster said she was pretty like a princess, and finally, the people of Rosas see her as a princess because she saved them. In conclusion, there are many ways to be a princess, but at the end of the day, Asha is just herself.

And I'm sure ya'll are gonna ask me how Aster managed to convince the stars to let him be human, right? Well, like he said

"So I looked to all the stars, just like me And I told them just how bright is your light "Her heart is bigger than any galaxy Her bravery outshines us all in the night""

Which is a fancy way of saying he fangirled about how amazing Asha is to all the stars like

"YALL DONT GET IT! She's deeper than the universe itself! If happiness was a tangible thing, it would be her! I love her so much guys! I need to go back, please! Her eyes shine brighter that all of you combined! People search for a wonder like her all of their lives! Her smile is warmer than the sun! Her laugh is like-"

And the stars are just staring at Aster like "Sir, this is a wendy's" "We've talked about this child, it was decided you're to be in time out remain in your corner of the galaxy for the next 1 million earth cycles, so you may reflect on why you should've listened to us."

But eventually some stars that were already sympathetic to Aster and other ones that weren't before but slowly start to feel bad for him realize even though Aster didn't do what they thought was best... His way of doing things worked, and if it wasn't for his love for Asha they wouldn't have ever won.

So the stars discussed it, and they agreed that they could bend the rules for Aster this time, to do something that was never done before.

I think of it like that scene in The Little Mermaid when Triton turns Ariel human and he's like "Then there's just one problem left... How much we're going to miss him." because like, although they gave Aster a hard time, they really were just his family, his family with more than a billion people but still family.

Soooo Aster got Rapunzeled lmao.

Brown hair Aster my beloved, I've waited so long for this, the plot point of Magnifico saying all wishing stars have blonde hair was just for THIS.

And we get a proper origin story to THE wishing star, aka the portal to Neverland, aka Evangeline, aka The Blue Fairy.

It was kinda what Disney promised us, wasn't it? To tell us where that star came from... Well now you know.

And now... I honestly don't know how to express how grateful I am for everyone who has been following along on this journey, I never thought this would become something so special, I never shared a story before, and seeing the art, the comments, the creativity and inspiration that sprouted out of this makes me feel so happy that I did step out of my comfort zone to put this out there.

The story is over but the journey has just begun, as I still plan on expanding the lore by sharing backstories from the villains and short stories of what happens to the protagonists in the future. Fell free to send your asks to get more ideas flowing out of me hehehe.

And, for the last time... At least in this chapter of the journey...

Thank You So Much For Reading!!!

[changbeansss]

Solace

Pairings : Non-idol!Bang Chan X reader

Genre : Angst-y fluff (?)

Warnings : Mentions of smoking (Idk what else lmk)

A/N : I haven’t been mentally stable in awhile so yeah posting after so long and is this my first long story?omg???

The city lights glimmered like distant stars against the midnight sky, painting the rooftop in a soft, eerie glow. The cool breeze swept past, whispering secrets that only the night could understand. Chan sat on the edge of the apartment building, legs dangling over the side, cigarette smoke curling around him like a ghostly veil. He wasn't one for smoking, but the rare cigarette was a comfort he indulged in when he felt restless��when the weight of the world felt too heavy to bear alone.

He didn't notice when the door to the rooftop creaked open, but he heard the soft footsteps approaching. He turned his head slightly, surprised to see someone else at this hour. You. The girl from the next apartment over. You seemed to live in your own world, always quiet, always avoiding his gaze in the hallway. He’d never spoken to you, but he’d seen the sadness lingering in your eyes—a sadness he recognized all too well.

Tonight, though, there was something different in your expression. Something darker. Your eyes were swollen, like you’d been crying for hours. You walked to the edge, not too far from where Chan sat, but far enough that you might have thought he wouldn't notice.

But he did.

He saw everything. The way your shoulders trembled, the way you hesitated at the very edge, looking down as if searching for an answer. The way your hand clutched the edge of the railing, knuckles white from holding on too tight, like you were anchoring yourself to the last shred of will you had left.

Chan exhaled, flicking the cigarette away. It landed somewhere on the rooftop with a quiet sizzle. He didn’t say anything at first; he just watched you, his eyes taking in every detail, every sign. And then, in a voice that was somehow both soft and firm, he broke the silence.

“Thinking of jumping?” he asked bluntly, catching you off guard.

You flinched, turning to face him, and for a moment, you seemed lost. You didn’t answer, but you didn’t look away either. You were caught between fear and curiosity, between wanting to escape and wanting someone to understand.

Chan stood up, dusting off his jeans, and took a step closer, but not too close. He didn’t want to scare you. “It’s a long way down,” he continued, gesturing with his chin towards the street below. “And the landing... it’s not as peaceful as you think.”

Your breath hitched, and you felt a tear slide down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it away, trying to keep your composure. “You don’t know anything about what I think,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the wind.

He shrugged, leaning back against the railing, his demeanor relaxed, almost as if he were just having a casual conversation. “Maybe not. But I’ve been where you are now, standing on the edge. I know what it feels like to think that there’s no way out.”

You stared at him, searching his face for any hint of insincerity, but all you saw was a quiet understanding, a familiarity with the darkness you felt enveloping you. “Why are you here?” you asked, your voice breaking. “Why are you even talking to me?”

Chan chuckled softly, the sound low and a little sad. “Because I’m your neighbor,” he said simply. “And because I know what it’s like to feel like the world’s crashing down around you.”

You swallowed hard, your grip on the railing tightening. “And what do you do?” you asked, almost desperate for an answer. “When it feels like that?”

Chan’s smile faded, replaced by a serious expression. “I come up here,” he replied, gesturing around the rooftop. “I think. I breathe. I try to remind myself that there’s always another sunrise. That nothing stays the same forever.”

You felt something shift in your chest, a tiny crack in the walls you’d built around yourself. “And does it help?” you asked, a faint flicker of hope in your voice.

He nodded. “Most nights, yeah. Some nights... not so much. But it’s worth sticking around to find out.”

There was a long pause, the kind that felt like an eternity, but in that moment, something changed. The night didn’t seem as cold, and the rooftop didn’t feel as lonely. Chan didn’t move closer, but somehow, his presence felt like a lifeline—a reminder that you weren’t alone in this.

“I’m Chan,” he finally said, offering a small smile. “Just... Chan. And I’m here if you need someone to talk to. Anytime.”

You didn’t respond right away, but you nodded, taking a step back from the edge. “Thanks,” you whispered, and it was the most sincere word you’d spoken in a long time.

Chan just nodded, his smile growing a little warmer. “Don’t mention it. We’re neighbors, after all.”

And for the first time in what felt like forever, you didn’t feel quite so alone.

---

You spent the next few minutes sitting in silence beside Chan, both of you facing the cityscape. The noise of the streets below was a distant hum, and the wind gently whipped around you, carrying the smell of rain. The awkwardness you expected didn't come; instead, there was an odd sense of comfort in being next to him. Maybe it was his calm demeanor, or maybe it was the way he didn't push you to talk more. He just sat there, present, like he understood that sometimes words weren’t necessary.

"Do you come up here often?" you asked after a while, breaking the silence.

"More than I probably should," he answered with a chuckle. "It's peaceful. Helps me clear my head."

You nodded, pulling your knees to your chest, resting your chin on them. “I never noticed,” you admitted. “I’ve never really noticed you before.”

Chan glanced at you, his lips curling into a soft, knowing smile. “Yeah, well, I’m good at not being noticed when I don’t want to be.”

The two of you fell into another comfortable silence. A slight drizzle began to fall, and you felt the tiny droplets of rain kiss your skin. Chan stood up, stretched his arms, and looked up at the sky.

“You know,” he said, “we should probably head inside before it starts pouring. But… if you want to stay, I’m fine with that, too.”

You hesitated. Part of you wanted to retreat back to the safety of your apartment, curl up in your bed, and pretend none of this ever happened. But another part of you, the part that had made you come up to the rooftop in the first place, wanted to stay just a little bit longer.

“Can we… can we stay?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Chan nodded, sitting back down beside you. “Of course. As long as you want.”

The rain began to fall harder, but neither of you moved. The cold droplets splashed against your skin, but you welcomed the sensation, the grounding feeling of something tangible in this otherwise surreal moment. You noticed Chan shivering slightly, but he didn’t complain or suggest leaving again. He was really just… there.

“Why do you care?” you blurted out suddenly, unable to hold back the question any longer. “You don’t even know me.”

Chan glanced over at you, his expression a mixture of surprise and thoughtfulness. “I care because I’ve been there,” he replied softly. “I’ve felt what it’s like to want to disappear. And if I can do anything to keep someone else from feeling like that… I’ll do it. Even if I don’t know them.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, tears stinging your eyes once more, but you fought them back. “That’s… really nice of you,” you managed to say. “But I don’t think I’m worth it.”

Chan’s eyes softened, and he leaned forward slightly, his voice quiet but firm. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that. You’re worth so much more than you think.”

His words hung in the air, cutting through the rain and the noise in your head. You’d heard similar things before from friends, family, even therapists. But something about the way Chan said it made it feel different. Like he genuinely meant it, like he saw something in you that you couldn’t see yourself.

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. “I… I don’t know how to keep going,” you admitted, the confession slipping out before you could stop it. “It feels like everything is too much, like I’m drowning and I can’t catch my breath.”

Chan nodded, his expression solemn. “I get it,” he said quietly. “I really do. But you don’t have to do it alone. Sometimes, it helps just to have someone there, even if they don’t say anything. Just knowing they’re there.”

You looked at him, searching his face for any hint of pity or judgment, but all you found was understanding. “Would… would you stay?” you asked, almost afraid of his answer. “Like… just for a little while?”

Chan’s smile returned, warm and genuine. “Of course,” he replied. “I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

The rain continued to fall, soaking you both, but neither of you seemed to care. You felt something shift inside you, a tiny flicker of hope sparking to life. Maybe things wouldn’t get better overnight, and maybe the darkness wouldn’t vanish completely. But right now, on this rooftop with Chan beside you, you felt like you could breathe just a little bit easier.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough for now.

---

Over the next few weeks, things began to change between you and Chan. You’d see each other more often, exchanging quiet smiles in the hallway or quick greetings in the elevator. Sometimes, you’d find yourself on the rooftop again, both of you sitting in silence or sharing stories about your lives, your fears, your dreams.

Chan wasn’t a bad boy like you’d first thought, but there was an edge to him—a rawness and honesty that drew you in. He told you about his own battles, his own struggles with feeling like he didn’t belong, his own nights of wondering if it was worth it to keep fighting. You found solace in his words, comfort in his presence. He wasn’t trying to fix you, and he never pressured you to be anything other than what you were in that moment.

Slowly, you started to feel lighter, like the weight you’d been carrying for so long was slowly being lifted. Some days were still hard, some days you still felt like the world was closing in, but now there was a hand to reach for, a voice to listen to, a reason to keep trying.

And as the nights passed, you began to realize that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as alone as you thought.

----

As the days turned into weeks, the rooftop became your sanctuary—a place where you and Chan could escape the world and just be yourselves. Nights blurred into mornings, and you found yourself waiting for those moments when you’d hear his light footsteps coming up the stairs or his quiet knock on your door, inviting you out for another midnight chat.

He was like a constant rhythm, a steady heartbeat in your otherwise chaotic life. You still had your dark days, the ones where getting out of bed felt like a Herculean task, but knowing Chan was there made it a little more bearable. You didn’t have to explain yourself; he understood the silent language of pain.

One particularly cold night, you found yourself standing outside Chan’s door, hesitating. You hadn’t spoken to him all day, hadn’t seen him in the hall or heard his footsteps. For some reason, you felt a strange unease. A part of you worried—had you been too needy, too dependent on his presence? Did you scare him away?

Before you could turn away, the door swung open, and there he was, standing in front of you, eyes wide in surprise.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice warm and inviting. “I was just about to come find you.”

You felt a wave of relief wash over you. “Really?”

He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Really. I thought maybe you could use some company tonight… or I could, you know?”

You returned his smile, feeling something warm bloom in your chest. “Yeah… I think we both could.”

He stepped aside, motioning for you to come in. His apartment was small and sparsely decorated, but there was a warmth to it—a stack of vinyl records in the corner, a guitar leaning against the wall, and a cozy blanket draped over the couch. You hadn’t been inside before, and you found yourself curious, your eyes scanning the little details that made up his world.

“Want something to drink?” he asked, moving towards the tiny kitchen. “I have tea, coffee… or maybe something stronger?”

“Tea sounds good,” you replied, feeling a little shy but also strangely comfortable. You sat down on the couch, pulling the blanket around your shoulders. It smelled faintly of him—woodsy, a little smoky, with a hint of something sweet. You felt yourself relax, the tension in your shoulders easing for the first time all day.

Chan joined you a moment later, handing you a steaming mug. “Peppermint,” he said with a grin. “Good for the soul.”

You took a sip, savoring the warmth spreading through you. “Thank you,” you murmured, glancing over at him. “For… everything. You don’t know how much it means to me.”

He looked down, a slight blush on his cheeks. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m just… glad to be here with you.”

A comfortable silence settled between you, the only sound being the soft rain tapping against the window. After a while, you felt a surge of boldness, a need to know more about him—this boy who had somehow become your anchor in such a short time.

“Can I ask you something?” you ventured, your voice quiet.

He looked up, his eyes meeting yours. “Anything.”

“Why do you come up to the rooftop?” you asked. “I mean… what is it that you’re running from?”

Chan’s smile faltered slightly, and he took a deep breath. “I’m not sure if I’m running from something or towards something,” he confessed. “Maybe both. I guess… it’s hard sometimes, feeling like you’re constantly expected to be someone or something that you’re not. I’ve always felt like I had to wear a mask, pretend to be okay even when I’m not.”

He paused, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve. “The rooftop… it’s the one place where I can take that mask off. Where I can just be Chan, not who everyone else expects me to be.”

You nodded, understanding more than you could say. “I get that,” you whispered. “I really do.”

Chan smiled softly, his eyes filled with a quiet gratitude. “I think that’s why I like being around you,” he admitted. “You don’t make me feel like I have to be anything other than who I am. You just… let me be.”

A warmth spread through you at his words, and for the first time in a long time, you felt something like happiness blooming inside you. “You do the same for me,” you replied. “You make me feel… seen.”

Chan’s gaze softened, and he shifted a little closer to you, his hand brushing against yours, sending a spark up your arm. “I’m glad,” he said softly. “Because you deserve to be seen. For who you are, not who the world wants you to be.”

Your breath caught in your throat, the sincerity in his eyes overwhelming. You swallowed hard, suddenly feeling a rush of emotions you couldn’t quite control. “Chan…” you began, but the words got stuck in your throat.

He seemed to sense your struggle, and his hand gently squeezed yours. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say anything. Just… know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

A tear slipped down your cheek, but this time it wasn’t from sadness. You squeezed his hand back, a silent thank you, a silent promise.

For a while, the two of you sat there, hands intertwined, the rain falling outside like a lullaby. The world outside could wait; for now, this was enough.

A Few Days Later…

You’d been having a particularly rough day. Everything seemed heavier, every thought darker. You hadn’t seen Chan all day, and you found yourself missing his presence more than you expected. By evening, you couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that had settled in your chest. It was suffocating, consuming.

But then, there was a knock on your door.

You hesitated, wiping at your eyes quickly before opening it. There stood Chan, his face lit up with that familiar grin, holding two takeout bags and a slightly battered old boombox.

“I was thinking,” he said, his voice filled with an infectious enthusiasm, “that tonight is the perfect night for bad Chinese food and even worse music.”

You blinked, surprised. “What?”

Chan laughed. “Come on, you said you’ve never had a ‘proper rooftop party,’ and I figured there’s no time like the present. Plus, I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Before you knew it, you were back on the rooftop, wrapped in a blanket as Chan fiddled with the boombox, his face scrunched up in concentration. Finally, he managed to get it working, and the sounds of an old 80s ballad filled the air.

You laughed—a real, genuine laugh, the kind that made your sides ache. “This is terrible,” you giggled.

Chan grinned, holding out a hand to you. “Dance with me,” he insisted, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

You hesitated, but his infectious energy was impossible to resist. You took his hand, and he pulled you into a clumsy dance, the two of you swaying to the beat of the cheesy music. The city stretched out below you, the lights flickering like stars, and for a moment, everything else faded away.

Chan spun you around, his laughter mingling with yours, and you felt a sense of freedom you hadn’t felt in years. For the first time, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you could find your way back to the light. And Chan… Chan was the first step toward that possibility.

“See?” he whispered as he pulled you closer, his forehead resting against yours. “There’s still some magic left in the world.”

You smiled, tears of joy filling your eyes as you whispered back, “Yeah… I think I’m starting to believe that.”

---

The rooftop became more than just a refuge; it was a world of its own, a world where time seemed to stand still. With each passing night, you felt yourself falling a little deeper into something you weren’t sure you were ready to name.

It was the little things—the way Chan would notice if you seemed a little quieter than usual and bring your favorite drink without asking, the way he’d brush a stray hair from your face, his fingers lingering just a moment longer than necessary. The way his laughter could make your heart feel lighter, like maybe all the heavy parts of you were starting to dissolve into something softer, something warm and bright.

You hadn’t meant for it to happen, hadn’t expected it. But slowly, steadily, you were falling for him.

One night, you found yourself waiting on the rooftop, bundled up in a thick sweater, watching the stars twinkle overhead. Chan was running late, which was unusual for him. You checked your phone for the third time, feeling a little nervous. Had something happened? Was he okay?

Just as you were about to go back inside, you heard the door creak open behind you. You turned around and saw Chan, slightly out of breath, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Sorry,” he panted, running a hand through his hair. “Got held up at work. But I brought peace offerings.” He held up a bag of pastries from the bakery down the street, and your heart melted a little more. He knew they were your favorite.

You took the bag with a smile. “You’re forgiven… this time.”

He laughed, sitting down beside you, his shoulder brushing against yours. “Good. I’d hate to think I’d lost my rooftop privileges.”

You laughed, the sound light and free. “No chance of that.”

For a while, you just sat there, sharing the pastries, talking about everything and nothing. It was easy, being with him. Natural. Like he was the missing piece of a puzzle you hadn’t even realized you were trying to solve.

As the night grew colder, Chan pulled a blanket from his bag and draped it around your shoulders. “Can’t have you freezing to death on me,” he teased.

You chuckled, but your heart skipped a beat when his hand brushed against yours under the blanket, his fingers tentatively grazing yours. You felt a jolt of electricity, and you wondered if he felt it too.

For a moment, neither of you moved. You could feel the heat of his body so close to yours, his breath warm against your cheek. The air was thick with something unsaid, something fragile and beautiful.

“Chan,” you whispered, turning to look at him, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it.

He turned to face you, his eyes searching yours, and for a moment, you forgot how to breathe. “Yeah?” he murmured, his voice low and soft.

You swallowed hard, feeling a mix of fear and excitement bubbling inside you. “I… I think I’m falling for you,” you confessed, your voice barely more than a whisper.

Chan’s eyes widened, surprise flickering across his face. For a moment, you feared you’d made a mistake, that you’d ruined everything. But then his expression softened, and a slow, beautiful smile spread across his lips.

“I’ve been falling for you since the first night on this rooftop,” he admitted, his voice just as soft. “I just didn’t know how to say it.”

Your heart leapt, and you felt a rush of warmth spread through your chest. “Really?” you asked, hardly daring to believe it.

He nodded, his hand moving to gently cup your cheek. “Really,” he whispered, his thumb brushing your skin tenderly. “I’ve never felt like this before. Like… like maybe there’s hope, like maybe I could be more than what I’ve been.”

You felt tears sting your eyes, but this time they were happy tears, tears of relief and joy. “You’re already more,” you whispered, leaning into his touch. “You’re everything.”

Chan’s eyes glistened with emotion, and before you knew it, he was leaning in, his breath warm against your lips. Your heart pounded wildly, and you felt like you might float away.

And then his lips were on yours, soft and gentle, and everything else seemed to fade away. The world, the pain, the fear—it all melted into nothing as you kissed him back, your hands finding their way to his hair, pulling him closer.

The kiss was tender and slow, filled with all the words neither of you had said. It was a promise, a beginning, a silent vow to keep holding on, to keep finding each other in the dark.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, foreheads resting against each other. Chan’s hand still cupped your cheek, his thumb tracing gentle patterns on your skin.

“You have no idea how much I needed that,” he breathed, a grin spreading across his face.

You laughed softly, your fingers brushing against his. “I think I needed it just as much.”

He kissed you again, this time more confidently, and you felt a flutter in your stomach, a lightness in your chest that you hadn’t felt in so long. It felt like freedom, like the start of something beautiful.

As the night stretched on, you stayed there, wrapped in each other’s arms, sharing quiet conversations and soft kisses, the city below glowing like a sea of stars.

And for the first time in a long time, you knew that whatever came next, you would face it together. You and Chan, two broken souls finding solace in each other, finding love in the most unexpected of places.

And in that moment, with Chan’s arms around you and the world spinning softly beneath your feet, you felt like maybe—just maybe—everything was going to be okay.

[misguidedasgardian]

Wild Cats (Part II)

II. On the road

MASTERLIST

Summary: You face your first challenges with your new “team”

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader (slowburn)

Warnings: Zombie apocalypse AU, living dead, zombies, guts, blood, guns, injures, cannibalism, this chapter is particularly hard, if you had seen the series you know what’s coming, THREATS of SA to a minor and to an adult, shooting people, murder, throwing axes, blood, RIck munchin on someone’s throat 

+18, MINORS DNI

Notes: As always, I will not describe the reader, the only description about her is that she is not from the US, I don't specify where she is from either. My Walt Disney complex is attacking me again because -again- my reader won’t have any family or parents with her (or that were with her and she saw die), I believe this will give her some sort of “freedom” and the sense that even if she saw “Death” up close and personal, and horrible things she still doesn’t have that cruelty and trauma of witnessing family get killed in front of her.

You started walking, walking, walking. You still had a few hours of light to find another place to camp out, far away from the group that stormed the house. Just across that group of houses, you encountered tracks, train tracks, and you started walking along them.

You spend the night on an old train station, those small ones in the middle of nowhere, you took shifts to keep an eye on things.

Rick wouldn’t let you out of his sight

And you tried to stay calm, he didn't know you, so you did what was expected of you, kept watch like you had done for the last months, helped to make food and snacks. You didn’t dare to ask much, so the silences between you were a bit uncomfortable.

You were super curious about them, but again, they didn’t trust you, and why should they? so you’d think 

It was the third night with them, you were on the roof when Rick joined you

“Don’t take this the wrong way”, he started in whispers, “but you don’t strike me as the kind of person who would last this long, out here, alone”, he said in a friendly tone, you look back at him, amused

“Well, looks can be deceiving”, you muttered

“Have you received military training or something?”, this was a nice change

“No, not really, I lived on a farm, we hunted and that sort of stuff”, you said lightly, he looked at you and nodded, “Maybe I watched too many action movies, those were my favorites”, you said, with fond memories in your mind, “you were a policeman, right?”

“How did you know?”, he asked, surprised 

“When I looked at you for the very first time I had this immediate feeling of shame, like I was doing something wrong, so…”, he laughed a bit, “I knew”

“Yeah, we evoked that on people”, he said lightly, “I’m sorry you got stranded here, on foreign lands”, you nodded

“Thank you”, you said after a long breath, “I probably won’t ever see my family again and… it's hard to face that reality”

“Where are they?”, he asked

“My family lives in a really small town, and an hour away, they have a farm”, you said lowly, “a farm on a freaking island”, your felt his surprised gaze on you, “I’m sure my brother got them out, my parents, he has big trucks, and he knows how to hunt, he has guns, he knows how to fish, they have cattle…he began farming a bit ago”, you said with a breath of relief, “they are in the best possible place, and I…”

“In one of the worst”, he whispered

“I just really hope they can mourn me”, you whispered, “that they can be at peace with me gone, not knowing what happened to me, and I really… because you are right, everyday I wonder how I got so lucky so survive this long, so I feel like I’m living on borrowed time”

“You can’t think like that if you want to survive”, muttered Rick, “you need to fight for it, every single day”, you nodded. You heard moans and grumbles. There was a full moon today, and clear sky so you saw the fucker coming out of the woods, limping towards the structure you were in, reaching towards you with with its putrid hands. You grabbed your gun with your silencer and shot him straight in the head, quieting him once and for all, and dropping him

You both sighed, as you kept listening to the quiet night. 

You let out a strangled whimper. Your family had wanted you to stay home, but you wanted to do this fancy masters degree.

“Have you… lost people too?”, you asked him

“My wife, my best friend, my…”, he choked so you only nodded

“I’m very sorry”, you mumbled, he nodded

“We were a big group, I’m hoping I can still find some of them”

“I’m sure they are out there somewhere”, you said with a hint of hope, if the rest of them were like Rick, Michonne and Carl, you really believed that the more the merrier, this could really be something. But still, you didn’t want to get too attached in case things went south 

The next day also found you walking together, Michonne and Carl played at “who could walk longer on the tracks”, and it was quite entertaining to watch, even though Rick wanted to speed things along. They still haven’t told you the next steps. But you were following the tracks hoping they’ll lead you to somewhere.

You have seen posters and maps of some sort of sanctuary, called terminus, if they ask you? it didn’t sound quite right, the maps seemed old and maybe they were, maybe it got overrun, but Rick and Michonne still wanted to check it out

This time, when the sun fell and the night came over you, they just wanted to sleep on the open road. You found a car that was in a pretty good state, so Carl took preference, and locked himself in to sleep for a bit. 

You were super scared to be alone in the woods at night, but you didn’t want to say that outloud, so you just grabbed the smallest and softest of flashlights and dived into the woods, it was the call of nature, nothing you could do.

The good part about “walkers” is that they groaned and moaned, so they were easy to spot, especially at night, so you weren’t concerned. Although, you did know that sometimes they entered this “sleep” state, only awakened when a human was near, so you had to be careful about that as well.

After you had done your business, you decided to make a round, all around where Michonne and Rick were talking and Carl was sleeping, maybe it was customary for you at this point, being awake at night. An instinct pulling you into the night, connecting with nature.

When you thought you had done a full lap, you realized that you got a bit lost, you cursed yourself thinking you had counted your steps, clearly you were wrong

You found the street, and by then, you could hear voices.

You first saw a big man by the car, you could only see his silhouette, as the only source of light was the moon and the fire Rick and Michonne had lit up 

“We are gonna kill you Rick, not before Dan has his way with your son, and Tony with the lady here…”, you heard someone say, as you came closer, quietly, you realized a man was holding Rick at gunpoint, and another had Michonne.

How the fuck they sneaked past you? you had no clue. You stood there, watching the situation unfold, you didn’t know what to do. 

“TEN!”, You grabbed the gun, and unlocked it, you had to help them. You don’t care who those men were, Rick, Michonne and Carl were your group now, you had to defend them. “NINE… EIGHT”

“WAIT!”, Another man, from the other side of the car, appeared

“You stopped me at eight Daryl!”, the man said. This strange man walked up towards RIck and Michonne, and only then you realized two more men were right behind him, your vision impaired by the vehicle between you, you tried to stay in the shadows, you couldn’t go in guns blazing if that would mean one of your group could end up hurt.

“Just hold up!”, he said softly, trying to calm things down

“This is the guy who killed Lou!”, muttered the fifth man, “we got nothing to talk about”, there were five hostile men, one of them, right in front of you, eyeing Carl who was inside the car

“The thing ‘bout now-a-days is we got nothin’ but time”, the ringleader held Rick at gunpoint, they were tightly squeezed together, no space for movement, “say your piece Daryl”

“These people”, the man said, “you’re gonna let ‘em go”, that surprised you, but still you raised your gun to the creep, “these are good people”, he muttered

“I think Lou would disagree with you on that”, RIck had told you he had to take a guy out in the house, this might be the reckoning, “I have to speak for him because your friend here strangled him in a bathroom, let him turn, and come after us”, 

“You want blood, I get it, take it from me, man”, this strange man, just threw his weapon, a badass crossbow, into the floor and offered himself up to the maniac. There was a dramatic silence

“This man killed our friend”, you did not have good visibility, but you could hear every breath, “but you say he’s good people, you see? that right there… that is a lie”, his voice dropped an octave and you knew that meant trouble, “IT’S A LIE”, the two men behind him grabbed him and started beating him up, “teach him fellas! teach him all the way!”, the car moved when they pushed and beat him against it. Distracting you, so you couldn’t help when the fat man in front of you opened the door to the car, and dragged Carl out of it.

“YOU LET HIM BE!”, you heard the scream of Rick

You couldn’t move, if you shot “Dan”, then the others could shoot RIck and Michonne, and besides…

DId you had it in you? to kill?

You had done it once, it kept you awake with guilt

They kept beating the man they called Daryl, making your skin crawl, to hear fist against flesh, moans and groans from the man that clearly knew RIck, -in the good sense-, he was probably part of the group RIck was seeking so desperately 

“... First we’re gonna beat Daryl to death, then we are gonna have the girl, then the boy, and then we’re gonna kill you, and then we’ll be squared”, you heard him proclaim. You looked in front of you, the fat man, with a knife in his hand, and…

Oh fuck no.

Without even thinking about it, you had your gun up and…

You took the shot and in less than a second you drew a whole in the back of the man’s head. 

Before he even dropped to the floor you helped Carl push him off of him. The boy was a whimpering, scared mess, and now that you uncovered yourself, by pure instincts alone, you grabbed him and placed him behind you, away from the guns that were now pointing at you.

In all happened in seconds

When Rick’s eyes anchored themselves at you, he seemed to nod, and then he moved at the speed of lightning, pushing all of his body backwards, a shot made your ears ring, but he had managed to free himself from the other group’s leader, that served as a good distraction as you shot against the man that had Michonne, who was also distracted, your bullet got lodged on his arm, making him scream, that gave Michone the time and space to kick the bastard, making him drop his gun

“Daryl!”, screamed Carl behind you, you looked now with more visibility, and saw the beating was getting worse. He had managed to punch one of the men out of his way, but still was fighting with the other. You grabbed your ax with your other hand, right as he was being pushed against the hood of the car again, then grabbed and pulled backwards towards the other man.

You were even better at throwing axes, -something you discovered in the damn apocalypse-

“DUCK!”, you screamed at the bowman, and he did, just at the same time you threw your ax, slaying the man that was right behind him

But you knew that wasn’t going to finish the job, you jumped and climbed over the hood of the car between you and you threw yourself at the man screaming with your ax nailed in the middle of his chest. You shot him in the head, not even thinking. You fell haphazardly on the floor, twisted your uncle a bit.

Fuck this people

When you turned around Daryl was beating the crap out of this other guy, Michone had shot the man that was holding her and Rick…

Oh Rick

In the midst of screams, he dropped the man, who was bleeding profusely from his neck. When you raised your eyes back again you saw that…

Rick’s mouth was dripping blood, as he spitted out a chunk of meat and more blood

From a second to the next everything went quiet, the archer turned to you after he left that man a moaning mess on the ground, you shared looks, and you offered him your gun. He took it, and put the man out of his misery with one shot on the head.

The adrenaline quickly left you, and you started shaking.

Your kill count just went up to three with one assistance.

You must have whimpered because they all turned to you

Rick went to hug Carl tightly, as did Michonne, the man, Daryl turned back to you, his face was made a bleeding mess, but he nodded when he gave you your gun back. You received it, putting it back in your holster

You told him your name, offering your hand for you to shake, he nodded

“Daryl”, he said, shaking your hand back, although it was more like a growl. You could tell he was this gruff man, his shaggy hair a bit long, covering his eyes, naked arms on display, he was a badass

“You take it you were a part of RIck’s group?”, you asked, and he barely nodded, “we just met three days ago”, you offered as an explanation.

Carl went around the car and hugged you tightly, that took you by surprise, but you gladly hugged him back

“Are you alright?”, you asked, he only nodded against you

You were sleeping in the back of the jeep, pleasantly, as Carl slept on the back seat, cuddled with Michonne.

Rick and Daryl were sharing a moment

“Who was tha’?”, he asked

“Carl found her sleeping on a roof three days ago”, said Rick, they shared looks, “before this, she had only killed one man”

“Now she is up to three”, said Dayl nodding

“We had our doubts at first, but… after tonight…”

“She is one of the good ones”, muttered Daryl

“She is looking up to be a good addition”, he completed, nodding 

Post chapter notes: reader was like, “ah hell no, that’s my future husband you fucks” haha

[imraespace]

LIFE'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE INLOVE ─

─ WITH RIN ITOSHI !!

Choki is your best friend's cactus. Sometimes you may see Seishiro greeting the plant as you pass by his room. Today you wanted to see Choki, so here you are at 5:00 AM entering Seishiro Nagi's room to achieve his plant.

Choki and yourself have had past conversations before, you even give him the peace sign when leaving if you pass by Seishiro's room.

But this morning, being the first one up, your thoughts are currently tormenting you and the only person who will understand you in this house is:

"Choki..!" You muttered quietly as your eyes landed on the cactus. Your eyes shifted to the sleeping boy who was right next to you. He hasn't once moved since you've entered his room.

"Sorry Sei, I really need Choki right now." You whispered to the sleeping boy and picked up Choki, making your escape out of his room and into yours.

Now you're seated on your bed with Choki in front of you. You both had a staring contest for a while in the dark. Were you really going to talk to a cactus? Of course.

Finally you spoke up.

"I think I'm sick." You simply stated.

In response you got..

"..."

"Yeah I know Choki, I am indeed going crazy, you don't have to shove it in my face." You mumbled.

You looked away from the plant and at the book. This book is what all started this mess.

"I feel so weird, I think I have a heart condition.." Still, talking to the cactus, and reaching for the book.

You opened the pages, skimming through the words until you reached to a scene.

"He will do anything for her.. // He noticed me!.. // I feel happy.. "

You reread those certain phrases again, then thought about someone. It makes you upset.

"Why am I thinking about him again." You grumbled, feeling a bit frustrated.

What were you thinking? Will he do anything for..

"NOO!!" You suddenly yelled, holding your head as you threw yourself back, head planting on the bed with force.

Too into your own mind, you failed to notice the owner of Choki, who has entered your room not to long ago.

"Are you okay..?" A voice quietly asked, scaring you shitless.

With a gasp, followed by a shocked expression, with that same speed you used to rest your head is the same one used to make your rise up from your bed.

There you see, your 6'2, very close, male individual. Seishiro stood by your door and was there long enough to witness your rants.

"Sei.. You're up?" You asked. he shrugged his shoulders, slowly walking up towards you.

"Y/N.. You're up?" He countered-back, and now sat at the edge of your bed.

You stared at him for a while, then your eyes landed on Choki.

"Are you here for Choki?" You asked him.

He shook his head. He's not here for Choki.. So why is he here?

"I heard when you said that you needed Choki, so I can't take him. Reo said that he didn't have to clean anything on your bed last night." He reported.

Upon hearing those words you simply shrugged your shoulders.

"Is that a bad thing?" You asked.

And he nodded..?

"Why?"

Sei then got up, picked up Choki, placed it on your bedside table and then sat right next to you.

"You don't seem normal."

"I know."

Honestly, he wasn't expecting that answer, as a surprised expression made its way onto his face.

A small pout formed on your face as you looked down onto your legs.

"I don't wanna talk about it, it seems weird." You mumbled to him.

"Hm."

You looked up to the boy and realized he was staring at your window, probably at the sky.

"Whatever it is, don't upset yourself over it. For me I think you should go slowly with it. I mean whenever I'm stuck on a level, I retry but more slowly that time." He confessed.

It may be in Seishiro Nagi's words but being friends with him for almost your whole life, those simple words helped you a lot.

So a small smile made its way on your face, your arms wrapped around his shoulders and a hug was formed.

Sei let out a small "Hm" as he accepted the hug, squeezing the life out of you..

"Sei.. too much.." You silently let out.

.

,

"Sorry.."

The soft moment present, the glow from the stars and sun that's slowly peaking out to make an appearance, the silent hug was warming enough to ease your mind.

Warm enough to bring snores and shut eyes in the room.

Under the glow from the window rests a brother and sister in a comforting hug, sleeping the worries away.

Sister and brother not by blood, but from bond.

.

.

.

━7:00 AM

"Oh so now we're having sleepovers without me huh?"

...

"LEARN TO WAKE UP ON TIME!-"

There he goes again.

When you arrived at the building, you didn't walk to your class, instead you made your way to your first friend in life, Hyoma Chigiri.

On the way there, your eyes landed on him..

Suddenly you forgot how to walk, talk, breathe, think-

"Y/N are you okay?"

"HYO!" You exclaimed, holding your chest.

He passed by you as if you're a side character in his own world, well technically you are but..

Hyoma Chigiri, he noticed your presence from the time his eyes landed on your head as you walked past, he stood up from his seat, making his way towards you but stopped when he noticed the way you looked at him..

For some reason, he felt a bit sad.. Why Hyoma? Why do you feel sad?

"Is there a reason you're here?" He asked you.

You stuck out your tongue a bit at him.

"I'm here for you dummy.." You confessed.

For him huh.. He feels warm now. But why look at him like that?

"That book is killing me Hyo, literally yesterday I did something weird and this boy, whenever I see him my chest hurts, I think I have a heart condition." You stated.

Hyoma stared at you as if you're dumb but also hurt.

Of course you noticed.

"What's wrong? Are you scared my condition might be-"

"Y/N.. Seriously?."

The sudden bold words caught you off guard.

"..Are you okay?" You asked, hoping to fix whatever you caused.

But he sighed and walked away. Hyoma Chigiri has his sassy side, it messes with his emotions and right now, it's messing with yours.

What did you do? It was like clouds formed in your mind, and it rained on your face.

Why be upset? Maybe because Hyoma was your first friend. You never fought, the last time you cried over him was when you had to part ways. It wasn't anyone's fault, but right now it's yours..?

You sucked it up, wiping your face.

Seishiro said to take it slow. Whatever you were thinking before, whatever is happening now, take it slow. Like a hard level, just take your time.

Where is Sei? You kinda need him right now..

"It's almost class time.." A passerby said, entering his class.

Nevermind.. You won't even see him until hometime.

"This sucks."

Sometimes, when you view your timeline, you feel a bit jealous. it doesn't help that your second half, Hyoma, doesn't like you right now..

"What's happening?"

## LIFE'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE INLOVE. --

╴“ WITH RIN ITOSHI?? „

ฅ^._.^ฅ : some things about y/n !! she mostly sleeps through the day, only does stuff IF needed !! with her given gift of being effortlessly smart , all she does in her free time is : nap , eat , sleep. hmm what if.. one day y/n develops a crush and now has to ACTUALLY work to achieve a goal ? : date rin itoshi !!

4 // 6 note: idk i dont remember this

TAGLIST: @deezy12299 @kuroronana @khoiyyu (OPEN)

-`♥︎´- for this story, i'm trying a something new, which includes words/phrases, foods and hometowns from japan and germany. if there's any errors please point it out !

-`♥︎´- word count : 1.2K

[sitp-recs]

liv hi!!!! so. my mfl is 20 pages currently. that’s like. 400 fics. and most of them are from your recs! but i shan’t stop i am filled with endless drarry greed and i’ve come to ask you for more 🤲

since it’s summer, i’ve been really craving stories set by the seaside! tbh any body of water will do, lakes/oceans/waterfalls/muddy puddles in concrete?? let’s say water-centric!

if you or your followers have any recs for me i’d be sooo delighted ☀️🌊 sending love & my eternal thanks

Hi anon! Omg sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate and I love that you’re looking for even more reads 😂 I miss the good old days, now I’m in the eternal “so much to read, so little time” loop :(

thank you for the great ask, I hope you enjoy these fics!

Beautiful Madness by @phdmama (E, 3k)

When Harry joins Draco and his friends on vacation in Grenada, fresh off of a year in America, he's a changed man, and Draco doesn't quite know how to react. React appropriately, that is.

On The Shore by @skeptiquewrites (T, 3k)

Draco takes up wild swimming. Harry joins him.

Sun Stroke by @peachpety (E, 4k)

Draco, Harry, and a handful of friends take a summer holiday at the beach. With the help of a sultry sea setting, encouraging friends, and a fisherman’s jumper, Harry and Draco's mutual attraction swells and things get hot on a salty summer night.

Sun, Sand and Sambuca by JulietsEmoPhase (E, 6k)

Holiday romance where Harry and Draco are best men for their respective stag dos, but still want to find time to sneak a moment for themselves. Muggle AU Drarry.

But no Man moved Me – till the Tide by @aibidil (E, 7k)

Harry bursts into Draco's office one morning and drags him away for an impromptu beach holiday. Draco knows something's happened, and wonders if Harry will open up to him. Featuring a Muggle bed and breakfast, wizards at the beach, Draco's house-elf who loves Harry, Muggle paperbacks, and the scary and exhilarating feeling of complete freedom and possibility.

Saltwater Stain by @the-starryknight (M, 9k)

Seven days stuck on a boat investigating a rogue ghost wouldn't be so bad if Harry didn't want Draco so much. Draco has his rules and Harry's content to follow them, but the air feels different away from the shore. Is it possible that the sea could offer Harry something impossible on land?

Maelstrom, the water told me by onbeinganangel (E, 11k)

Maelstrom (noun, /ˈmeɪl.strɒm/, from the Dutch maalstroom): 1. a large powerful whirlpool 2. a turbulent tidal current 3. an agitated and/or confusing situation or state of mind 4. a magical core disturbance occurring on an adult, not directly caused by trauma

the way you make me glow by softlystarstruck (M, 11k)

In a cottage next to the sea, love blossoms. Or perhaps it’s been there all along.

The Isle of Ogygia by @citrusses (E, 13k)

There is an island, far out in the sea.

Take My Hand by daisymondays (E, 13k)

Draco has long resigned himself to pining after Harry... that is until an invite on the annual Ministry holiday gives him a chance to change everything.

what the body wants is coolness by lastontheboat (T, 13k)

Draco and Harry have been seeing each other for months, and Harry decides the best way to tell their friends is to bring Draco to a group beach outing. Draco's given up enumerating all the ways this plan could go wrong.

The Oceans They Did Rise by disapparater (M, 18k)

Finding post-war life more difficult than he'd imagined, Harry travels halfway around the world to find some peace. He also finds Malfoy, art, adventure, the ocean, and himself. (Not necessarily in that order.)

The Isle of Discussion by @shealwaysreads (E, 22k)

Harry and Draco arrive at the shores of Loch Leven to record the magical history of the land. They’re friends now, but up there in the Highlands, amidst the trees and sky and that wild expanse of water their own past is more present than ever; a gap they still can’t bridge. Magic illuminates the truth, but it is Harry and Draco who have to speak it. Happily, it turns out that honesty is, in fact, the best policy.

What Shall Not Be Unearthed by @iero0 (E, 49k)

At the northernmost point of Shetland, surrounded by pointed cliffs, towers the Ootsta Lighthouse on a small isle in the middle of the open sea. Little does Harry know that he's not the only new lighthouse keeper. Draco Malfoy is as obnoxious as he always was, with his posh tone of voice and his luxury yacht jumpers. Harry tries his best to avoid the git—who knows what he's up to anyway?

Everybody Hates a Tourist by @wolfpants (E, 51k)

On a stag do in sunny Brighton with the Gryffindor lads, the last person Harry expects to run into is Draco Malfoy. After a glimpse of Malfoy’s Muggle life in Britain’s gay capital, Harry’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself returning to the seaside again and again, drawn to the city, drawn to this new version of Malfoy that Harry barely recognises from school.

Naked by @bixgirl1 (E, 57k)

Harry and Draco are sent on an undercover assignment to catch a Dark wizard — which might not be so bad if it weren't at a Muggle nudist resort.

I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di (E, 93k)

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography.

[yelenasdiary]

Forbidden || Chapter III Stranger

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Bishop! Reader.

Summary: Just outside of the small town of Blisswater, lives two young sisters, Kate & Y/n Bishop. It's hard not to know who the Bishops are, Kate is the eldest by a year. She is a beautiful young woman, smart, protective and is known to have a talent in using a bow. Y/n, she is shy but quiet as some would say but nevertheless, she holds her own talents and can often be seen tending to the animals of Bishop Ranch. One evening while Kate is out hunting to make some money, Y/n is surprised with an unwanted guest, Yelena Belova. A bounty Hunter from Drybellow who has taken shelter in the young Bishop's barn after being wounded from a gun fight.

Struggling to keep money following, Y/n has no choice but to take the bounty hunter's offer of $5 a day if she is able to help the woman recover. During Yelena's stay, the two grow closer, a little too close if the wrong pair of eyes were to see them.

Warnings:Homophobia (given the time setting, reader believes same sex relations are wrong), Mentions of sexism, Mentions of arson, Parental Death (Wanda’s), Mentions of Guns, Mentions of Murder, Unwanted Male Attention | 3.2K

Forbidden Masterlist

The sun ever so slightly peaked over the open land telling me I had woken up earlier than I normally would. It was still dark out, the dark clouds covering the sky as rain continued to cover the land. I assumed it was the deep fear of Kate stumbling into my room and seeing a complete stranger in my bed that I had woken up earlier, I knew I had to be up before her and keep her from finding out. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I'm still so worried about Yelena, she looked so peaceful sleeping but still wasn't out of the woods. Wanda should hopefully be back from wherever she has gone tomorrow, I wish had given me a rough time as to when she'd be stopping by. 

I quietly crept out of my room to get Yelena's herbal tea ready before she woke up, placing it on the small wooden bedside table. She turned in her sleep, slowly opening her eyes, she greeted me with a soft smile that made me feel warm. I smiled back, "good morning" I whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you. I just brought in your morning tea. Wanda should be back tomorrow so only 2 or 3 more mugs of this tea!" I assured her. She made the effort to side up, taking the mug to warm her hands. 

The weather was a little on the colder end, the storm last night hasn't ended. The sound of rain drops falling on the wood roof was one of my favorite sounds, I wasn't prepared to see the mess the wild wings had caused. 

"You know, I'm surprised this tea seems to be working. I don't feel like my temperance is a high today. Who is this magical woman with the herbal goods?" Yelena replied in a whisperer.

"Most people around her actually believe she's magical. She's lovely and I hope you get to meet her one day"

"Wait, you go this tea from a witch?" Yelena asked, cocking her brow. 

"She's not a witch. She's misunderstood" I correct her, "before she moved her, she used to live in a large city well over the Grand Point Mountains. She grew up there with her parents and twin brother. Her parents owned one of the smaller post offices just outside the city and on weekends Wanda would help her mother while Pietro would be off doing something with their dad. Wanda's mother let her sell stuff for a few cents, but people believed she was experimenting in witchcraft and began to harass her family. One night before closing, her parents were locked in the build as it was set on fire. Her parents died in the flames, leaving Wanda and Pietro to leave the city" I explained. 

"What do you think? Do you think she's a witch like everybody else?" Yelena asked after a moment of silence. I shrugged, "what she is and what she isn't has no effect on me. She's kind to me and has never given me a reason to be cruel to her. Word travels and now the people in Blisswater treat her with no respect"

Yelena hummed at my reply before she took a mouthful of her tea, "you're a very interesting person, Y/n Bishop" she spoke after letting the tea warm her insides. 

I'm not sure why but the way she said my name made my stomach flutter and I found myself unable to look her in the eyes. "Well, I could say the same about you, bounty hunter Yelena Belova" I replied. 

"I'm not near as interesting as you are" she said, taking another mouthful of her tea. I looked at her, "I'm not sure what you find so interesting about me, I've never done anything as cool as you. I mean, you get to be a bounty hunter! You're free to travel the land for free, you can handle yourself in many situations but me? All I know is Blisswater and it's surroundings" 

Yelena placed her mug back on the wooden table before she looked up at me, "that's how you see things? I haven't seen much, but I've heard enough" she says, "that peter boy, he's head over heels for you and he's not a bad looking guy. But you don't look twice at him, why is that?" she asked. 

"Peter has been in love with me since he learned the word love. I don't know what love feels like when it's not for your family, but I know that what he feels for me isn't what I feel for him" 

"Are you to marry him?" Yelena asked. I shook my head, "my father thinks he's a wonderful young gentlemen and would like to see me marry him, but he always says he just wants me to be happy. My mother says that one day I will have to find somebody because this world isn't made for women on their own" I replied.

Yelena cocked a brow at my last sentence, "but you are clearly proof that a woman can do just fine on her own" I quickly added. She chuckled lightly making my cheeks once again have a warm sensation to them. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" I asked to break any silence that may have come next. 

"You know, you should probably tell your sister that I am here, it might make things easier for you" she chuckled lightly once more, "I need to use the toilet, so I guess, whenever you think it's safe, let me know" she added. 

"Of course, um, Kate and I are probably going to make a trip to town to sell the elk meat so we'll be gone for a little while" I replied, "but I can't tell her about you, not until I find the right time to explain things" I added with a nervous smile. Yelena took another mouthful of her tea before giving me a nod, "yes ma'am" she said. 

I smiled softly just before I heard Kate letting Lucky out the back door, "and on that note, I'll be back when I can" I said in a whisperer before leaving my room, greeting Kate with a stretch. "Good morning" I smiled. 

"If you say so" she replied, she was never much of a morning person until she'd had a coffee to wake herself up a little. I followed her into the kitchen and took a seat at the dining table as she began to make her coffee. "So, did you want to get lunch at the saloon today? Something different for once" I suggested, wanting to earn Yelena some extra time to relax without worrying. 

"Sounds good to me, doesn't look like the rain is going to let up anytime soon. We'll sell the elk meat to the butcher and grab a few things from Mr Barton then we can get some lunch" 

"Maybe we could even stop by the post office and see if there is anything from mom and dad" I added. Kate turned and smiled softly to me, almost as if she didn't want to make me worry but I knew deep down she had her own theories about where our parents were. 

"Sure, won't hurt to check" she replied, pouring her hot coffee into a tin mug. 

"I'll go get dressed and feed Arrow and Lucky while I wait for you" I said, excusing myself from the kitchen and returning to my room. 

"Why the long face?" Yelena whispered. I opened my dresser and began to pick out my outfit, trying not to let my mind think about how much I missed my parents. "I wouldn't want to bother you with my problems" I replied as I grabbed a top. 

"I'm pretty sure I would win that argument but it's okay, you don't have to talk about it, I am a stranger after all" 

I couldn't help but sigh, I wasn't sighing at Yelena or her comment but because I missed my parents. How could they have just disappeared? Deep down I know something has happened to them, but I try my best to ignore that thought and think maybe they are just so busy, and father is caught up on a business deal. I turned to Yelena, my shoulders felt heavy, and I could feel tears trying to break their way through. 

"My parents have been missing for months. Not a single letter in the mail from them. I'm just worried about them is all" I whispered, fighting back my tears. 

There was a brief moment of silence before Yelena spoke again, "How about when I'm better, I'll see what I can find out" she offered. My eyes widened at the offer but quickly remembered to keep quiet. "Would you? I mean, I wouldn't want to put you out in any way, I just" I paused for a moment as my mind flashed back to the last memory I had of my parents. Father helped mother up onto the wagon before loading the last of their luggage, a smile from mother as she waved goodbye, reminding Kate and I to be safe. 

I remember the night before they left, father came into my room and told me how he was going to bring me back some paint that would last me a good few months. He said he missed my paintings and wanted me to paint him and mother something wonderful to hang up in the living room. 

"I miss them so much" I finally added. 

"Then I must recovery quickly then" Yelena threw me a playful wink. Her gesture made me smile softly before I turned to close the dresser, "do you mind?" I asked kindly. Yelena nodded and pulled my bed cover over my head to allow me to get dressed, I got dressed as quickly as I could just so I could spare a few small minutes with Yelena. 

"Do you think maybe a little later you could share some more of your bunty hunting stories?" I asked in a whisper as I fixed my hair in the mirror. Yelena slowly pulled the covers off her head and looked at me through the mirror, "I think I could do that" she smiled softly. 

"Y/n, are you ready?" I heard Kate call.

"Coming!" I called back, "I'll see you later" I said quietly to Yelena before leaving the room and meeting Kate in the kitchen again. "It looks like the rain is starting to pick up, I'll go feed Arrow, you feed Lucky and then we'll go" my sister said, downing the last mouthful of her coffee before placing her mug in the sink. 

---

We sold the elk meat and made $8 but the butcher, Mr Austin always likes to give Kate a little extra. You'll find that almost everybody in Blisswater is generous and friendly, we all help each other out. It's almost like we are one giant family! After that, we made our way to Mr Barton. 

"Good morning girls!" He greeted us with a warm smile.

"Morning!" Kate replied shortly after me. 

"What can I do for you this morning?" Mr Barton asked, putting away a revolver in the lock up behind him. "I just need some new arrows, went hunting the other day and lost a few" Kate replied as she made her way over to the arrows. "Catch anything worth it?" He asked. 

"An elk, not bad skin but could've been better" Kate said. 

These two always bond over their hunting skills and love for hunting, he's taught Kate a few tips and tricks when it comes to using a bow. Usually, I just stand in the background and wait for their conversations to be over with but this morning, Mr Barton's daughter, Lila, was helping him today. 

"They talk a lot, don't they?" She smiled at me. I chuckled, "they do"

"Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked me, I shook my head, "I'm just here with Kate, she needs new arrows! How's Cooper?" I asked, that's her older brother. 

"He is fine, he's was supposed to help father today but mother needed a man's help back home so I swapped" she explained, "hey did you hear about the gunshots the other night? People are saying the infamous Loki, and his gang are hanging around town" she added. I wondered if this was how Yelena got hurt. 

Loki and his gang are basically famous for their crimes of robbing banks, sometimes even killing people in their homes. If he and his gang are hanging around, it won't be ideal for Kate and I to be seen at home without our parents. 

"No, I mean, I heard the gun shots, but I didn't think it had anything to an outlaw gang" I replied.

"Father and I saw some men come out of the saloon earlier, not faces I'd ever seen around here before" Lila said, "best to be extra careful" she added. I nodded at her words, "Thank you for the heads up. Kate and I are headed there for lunch after they stop yapping" I replied making her chuckle. "It might be a while; you know these two" she joked. We both chuckled, making Kate and Mr Barton turn around to look at us. 

"What's so funny over there?" Mr Barton asked. 

"Oh, nothing father, just get back to your hunting talk" Lila teased making her father playfully shake his head at us. 

While I was waiting for Kate to finish her hunting topics with Mr Barton, an unfamiliar face entered the store. He was tall, maybe six-foot! His hair was dark brown and he had green eyes, his coat brushed ever so slightly against the floor. 

"Oi, gunsmith! Can I get some service around here?" he demanded as he made his way to the counter. 

"Of course, I'll be right there" Mr Barton replied. Kate looked over to me and nodded towards the door, suggesting it was time for us to leave. "What can I get for you?" Mr Barton asked. The tall man placed a shotgun onto the counter and demanded that Mr Barton clean the weapon while he stocked up on ammo and gun oil. As Kate and I walked out of the store two other men that didn't look very happy were waiting outside. 

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing" one man said as he looked my sister up and down. I noticed Kate rolled her eyes at his comment, it wasn't flattering, and Kate didn't seem to like it. "Give us a smile doll" he added. 

"Get a real job, loser!" Kate muttered, pulling me close to her side as we walked. 

"Oh, come on sweet thing, don't be like that. Come play with a real man" we heard the guy call out. 

Once we got to the saloon, we took a seat near the window. "I don't want you hanging out town by yourself right now" Kate said as she took off her coat and hung it over the back of her chair. "You don't have to tell me twice, Lila told me all about it" I replied. Kate nodded before she took a seat, "what can I get you ladies?" Mr Barnes smiled. 

"Surprise me!" I smiled back, I wasn't sure what I felt on the menu, and it was always fun when Mr Barnes would surprise me. "You got it, Kate, what can I get you?" He asked. I watched my sister's eyes scan the menu of three options while the drunken men by the bar caught more of her attention then the menu did, "what's the story there?" Kate asked. 

"Just another gang rolling through town, heard a few of them talking about plans to head north, I wouldn't worry to much about them" Mr Barnes assured us, but I could tell that Kate wasn't assured at all. "Roasted catfish and veg will be fine" Kate smiled but her eyes drifted back to the men.

"I bet mother and father's letters are just travel as much as they are" I joked in hopes it would lighten the mood, but Kate looked at me, smiled softly and let out a light sigh. "Y/n, I know you don't want to face the reality of this but I thin-"

"Kate, please don't say it" I cut her off, "I know you think I'm too scared to admit but I know okay? I know they are probably lying face out in the ditch somewhere, but I still think there is hope! Even if we never see them again, they could've sent a letter!" I snapped, storming out of the saloon. 

"Y/n, wait!" I heard Kate's voice not far behind me. I don't like making a scene, but I wish Kate would be a little more understanding of my feelings, she acts as though I am supposed to be like her and act like our missing parents have been dead for many years. "Would you just wait up a second!" Kate ran up to me, gently grabbing me by the arm. 

"I didn't mean to upset you" she said, looking me in my eyes while I fought back tears, "I just don't want you to keep being disappointed when there isn't a letter. I miss them too, I wish they never left but it's just you and I for now, okay?" 

I nodded before she pulled me in for a comforting hug, "let's have lunch, check the post office and head home then we can do whatever you want, sound good?" She spoke. I nodded once more before the two of us walked back to the saloon to enjoy lunch. 

----

"We'll try again next week" Kate smiled softly as we walked out the path to our home, I gave her a fake smile in reply. I really hoped that this would be the day that I'd be walking this path reading aloud a letter from our parents, it gave me something to look forward to. "Here, I got you something to cheer you up" Kate spoke, handing me a candy bar, "thanks!!" I smiled as I quickly ripped into it. 

"You were supposed to save it for after dinner" she chuckled, opening the front door. My eyes widen when I saw Yelena standing in the hall with a cup in her hand. Kate quickly grabbed the closest thing to a weapon, "who the hell are you?!" She said sternly. I dropped my candy bar, "Kate, it's okay!" I said, standing in front of her. If it were possible, you'd be able to see the steam coming from Kate's ears.

"Y/n, why is there a stranger in our home?!" She asked. 

"I can see you're mad, but I can explain everything!" I replied but she ignored me, "you, outside, now!" Kate looked through me to Yelena who didn't say a word but followed Kate's instructions meanwhile I did my best to try and calm my sister down. "Who are you and what do you want?" Kate asked sternly. 

Yelena looked directly into Kate's eyes, suddenly it was like I didn't even exist in the moment. "My names Yelena. Yelena Belova and your sister here has been helping me, I took cover in your barn after being shot, as you can see. I've been paying her $5 a day for her troubles" Yelena explains. Kate turns to look at me, eyes full of anger, "you have a lot to explain" she muttered.

Taglist: @madislayyy | @riveramorylunar | @teganmiller | @kyleeservopoulos | @yelenaslyubov | @kacka84 | @lesbiarmy | @meurgen | @caporal-nino | @sl-ut | @scarletwidowblackwitch | @dogtamer415 | @mousetheorist | @flohouse46 | @boredandneedfanfics | @gemz5 | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @unicorniusfallapatorius | @iloveyou3000e | @shibugs | 

If you want to be on the taglist for this series, please see the masterlist. It's linked at the top of this post.

[roriaa]

When Sun and Moon meet - S2

Zuko x Fem!WaterBender!Reader Enemies to lovers

As one of the Princesses of the Northern Water tribe, you were blessed with a gift by the moon. However you were permitted to be allowed to use the gift at all costs. From many hidden waterbending usages, the aftermath of the avatar visiting the Northern Tribe had led to your beginning journey, hiding yourself as a water bender as a princess from the Northern water tribe

Warnings: fighting

Masterlist

҉ * ‧͙ ⋆ ⁺ ༓ ☾ Chapter 9 - Tied with the Gaang

I woke up to wind breezing through my hair and a cloudy sky in front of me. Is this another dream? I lifted myself up only to see Katara with her eyes widened. “Y/N!” She hugged me, I confusingly hugged her back making the three look back at us. I recognize two of the three. Aang and Sokka but there was a short girl who appeared to be blind. She wore a green outfit which makes me think she's part of the earth kingdom. “Where…am I?” I asked Katara, pulling back. “We saw you in Lake Laogai, we thought you must've drowned, '' Katara explained. I attempted to recall the moment from yesterday but my brain was still fuzzy. “We saw the chain cuffs around your wrist. What in the world happened to you?” Sokka asked as I tried to put the pieces back together. I remember now…It was a miserable moment. I felt so embarrassed now, my horrible attempt at making everyone happy was the cause of me here. I feel the wave of Deja Vu, this isn't the first time I passed out just to wake up to a flying bison. “I don't remember” I mumbled, lying. Katara nodded and looked at the earthbender “You might not know her but her name is Toph, and earth bender” she pointed at Toph. “Toph, this is Y/N” Katara introduced us as we both awkwardly waved to one another.

“We’re about to land” Aang announced and the next second, we landed on an island.

  ҉   ☾

“When did you guys find Appa?” I asked. “How did you know Appa was gone?” Katara questioned as I shrugged. “I saw plenty of missing posters around Ba Sing Se so I assume so”. 

“Look we escaped from the Dai Li, we got Appa back, i'm telling you we should go to the Earth king now and tell him our plan! We’re on a roll”. 

“One good hour after weeks of trouble isn't much of a roll” Katara retorted, moving her hand to rest on her waist. “We can build on it!” Sokka added “What plan are you guys talking about?” I questioned. “The Earth King has no idea that there is a war going on, is getting manipulated but this scary guy and we need him to assist us in the invasion on the eclipse” Sokka explained. I nodded warily, still confused about the manipulation and invasion. “What makes you think we’ll get his support?” Toph asked. “I don't know if you've noticed but things don't usually go that smoothly for our little gang”. They continued discussing whether or not to leave Ba Sing Se or to make peace with the earth king. I was still lost on what they were talking about, I assume they were connected to the attack I had to experience in lake laogai. “But now that we have Appa back there's nothing stopping us from telling the Earth king the truth” Aang flew down from Appa. “See Aang's with me!” Sokka hugged Aang. “Would they even believe you?” I asked curiously. “We just have to try,” Sokka responded. “Well…I guess if the Earth king knew the truth, things could change” Katara put her hand on her chin, leaning towards their plan. “I don't trust the new Sokka, Long Feng brainwashed you! Didn't he?” The earth bender accusingly pointed at Sokka. Us 5 turn around and see the Dai Lee’s ships. “That's the Dai Lee’s ships” I learned to take a closer look. “They’re probably looking for us! So?” Sokka turned for Katara's confirmation. Katara thought for just a moment before agreeing. “Let's fly.”

  ҉   ☾

“Can we please buy a new saddle? Riding bareback is terrifying!” Toph exclaimed “What even happened to the saddle?” I grip onto Appas coat, squinting my eyes from the impact of the wind. “Long story” Sokka said, hard to make out from the wind. “There it is, the whole thing is the palace, '' Sokka pointed. I maneuver my head to take a better look of the palace. “The earth king's chamber should be at the center.” 

“We have to be careful Long Feng probably has warned the kingdom we’re coming” Katara warned

“Why would you assume that?” Sokka questioned

“Why would we not assume that” I retorted “If you ask me, I think we’re just gonna sail rig-” Sokka’s sentence cut off from his own scream from a rock that barely missed us. “What was that?!” Toph yelled out. “Surface to air rocks! More incoming!” I attempted to take a better look at where the surface rocks were coming from, it seems like this place is heavily guarded. I felt the impact of some of the rocks almost hitting us, my heart racing in the process of almost getting hit many times. Aang jumps down to blow away several guards, by the time he was finished Appa landed which was our que to jump down. The guards were lined up on the side, not a single space in between. I pulled out water from the bottle, pulled their legs and threw them as far as I could. Katara used a more gentler approach yelling out sorry’s many times. Somewhat made me feel like I was the bad cop but oh well. Toph was able to topple many guards over by rock slabs, allowing us to make our way closer to the palace. Katara went first across the bridge, me following behind her. She was able to push all the guards in the water under the bridge which enabled me to ice the water keeping them stuck. I jumped over the river making my way towards the long range of stairs. More guards appeared, charging at us down the stairs. However Toph was able to turn the stairs into slabs making them slide down. A block carved out beneath us was able to escort us up the slabs, letting us have a clear view of all the soldiers falling which was quite funny. “Seriously, we’re actually on your guys side!” Sokka yelled, as if that's going to change their minds. He winced looking down at the soldiers falling “Sorry…” We managed to get in the building with Toph’s and Aang’s major support with earth bending. “Toph! Which way to the earth king?” Sokka asked looking around “How should I know? I'm still voting we leave Ba Sing Se” Toph retorted, pushing away the guards. “Sokka, you look at that side while I look at the other” I pointed to the other side as Sokka nodded, both of us splitting ways. After the defeat of the guards, behind the mess there was a huge door which screams royalty. “The king is definitely in there” I pointed behind the mess. “Now that's an impressive door” Sokka ran towards the door attempting to kick it open but to no avail. Aang helped with his airbending and was able to break down the door, making Sokka fly through. “A little warning next time!”

We ran towards the king, with our weapons drawn out. Even with everything going on, I still don't understand. I also don't understand how I managed to even get in this position. “We need to talk to you!” Aang spoke up. “They’re here to overthrow you” The guy, with the same mustache, hair and deep voice. My eyes widened, that was the same guy who attempted to trap me in the underwater…thing? “No! We’re on your side. We’re here to help.” Sokka attempted to convince the king. “You have to trust us.” Katara added. “You invade my palace, lay waste to all my guards, break down my fancy door, and you expect me to trust you?” The Earth king spat. “He has a good point,” Toph agreed. I shrugged “Your guards didn't even try to hear us out.”

“If you’re on my side, then drop your weapons and stand down”. The king said out loud. I hesitated and looked around seeing the others doing the same thing. Silently agreeing to drop our weapons once Aang did it first. “See, we’re friends, your earthiness” Aang held his hands up in defense, awkwardly chuckling. I internally face palmed at what he said, ‘Earthiness’? Seriously? My thoughts were put in a halt by the earth benders handcuffing our hands by their earth bending. “Hey we dropped our weapons!” I spat. “Detain the assailants” He ordered, the guards slid in and surrounded us, every gap covered. I grumble in irritation. “We’re your allies!” Sokka tried to convince the king.

“Make sure the Avatar and his friends never see daylight again” The king turned his head towards his assistant in shock. “The Avatar? You’re the Avatar?” He pointed towards Sokka in disbelief. Sokka deadpanned “Uh, no, him” He pointed to Aang with his head. “Over here!” Aang joyfully said as if he wasn't getting arrested, the rocks which were supposed to be cuffed around him floated around his hands once he raised his arms, locking back down when he put his arms back around his back. 

“What does it matter, your highness? They’re enemies of the state”

“Perhaps you're right…” No longer, a bear came feeling interested in Aang, happily licking him as he giggled. “Though Bosco seems to like him. I’ll hear what he has to say” The King said, making Long Feng glare in irritation. Aang goes on explaining what has been going on for 100 years, which is unbelievable that he even had to explain it. After trying to convince the king that we’re on his side, to the point we had to bring Appa out to prove a point he agreed to looking into the matters. Which made all of our previous disappointment into an awkward contentment.

“Dai Li, arrest Long Feng. I want him to stand trial for crimes against the Earth Kingdom” The Earth King announced to his guards, taking Long Feng away. Finally, after much effort we managed to prove our innocence and our rights. Going to a public transport train only to find the underground base destroyed, then riding on Appa anxiously without a saddle to see the drill that the fire nation drilled into the walls of Ba Sing Se. I was even shocked myself not knowing any of this, it must have been Zuko’s doing. I was stupid enough to give him the benefit of the doubt for some reason. “Looks like Long Feng is Long gone Ha!” Sokka joked wiping his invisible tears humoredly “Oh, yeah, I've been waitin’ to use that one”

  ҉   ☾

After officially getting the Earth Kings support in the invasion, we went to Long Feng’s previous office who had been holding letters from everyone out of Ba Sing Se. I wasn't expecting a letter till I heard my name called “Princess Y/N”. I flinched hearing my name and hesitantly grabbing the scroll. I unrolled it immediately checking who it was from…it was from my father.

Dear Y/N,

This letter is not just from your Father and Sivoy but from the whole Nother Water tribe. We dearly miss you in the water tribe however we love you enough to accept whatever you do. Everything in the northern water tribe is perfectly fine, don't worry about us. We planned to help our sister tribe which I know you’ll be happy to hear. We wish you a peaceful, happy and safe adventure Princess Y/N and everyone in the tribe appreciates you very much, make sure you come back safe and once you do we’ll hold a memorable feast. Whatever you do Y/N, don't give up.

From Father, Sivoy, Northern water tribe.

I smiled softly from the letter, I wouldn't have ever received it if I had drowned. Spirits…how immature I am, leaving the whole tribe in guilt. I couldn't even imagine it, nor do I want to. Luckily I finally retrieved this letter which was very difficult and I was thoroughly satisfied. However the last sentence gave me chills down my spine, I swear I have heard it before… Oh well, I'll focus on it later. 

“Y/N who is it from?” Katara asked as I smiled joyfully. “My family” 

  ҉   ☾

“I’ll stay with Katara in Ba Sing Se” I said, planning to join Katara. “Are you sure? Don’t you want to see your family in the Northern water tribe?” Aang asked as I shook my head. “I'm not ready, I’ll for sure see them another day” I smiled. Katara hugged me “I have another girl to join me!” she squealed “No offense Toph” She said sheepishly. “None taken” Toph put his hands up as I chuckled. 

“I’m really gonna miss you guys” Toph said sadly.

“Me too” “Yeah”

Katara and Aang embraced Toph in a hug. Sokka and I stood aside awkwardly. I havent met them long enough to consider me as a friend. Until I felt a warm embrace squishing me into a hug. “Great! That's enough! Okayyy we love each other” He patted Katara and Aang’s head. I laughed breathily and embraced them back. “Y/N you're planning to come with us on our journey right?” Katara asked. I felt a silent plea with all of them making it harder to say no. “If you guys want…i'll come along” I said, making them cheer and laugh in glee. Katara, Toph and I waved off Sokka, Aang and Appa on their journey. I silently wished they would come back safely. “Get back safe Toph” Katara and I said out loud waving to Toph who was leaving. “I will!” Toph yelled back, waving. “Let's go back to the Earth Palace, they want us there” Katara said, initiating me to follow which I did. However I felt a wave of uneasiness hit me, is everything going to be alright?

<- Back - Next ->

a/n: WOOO new chapter! Yesterday was my birthday so I was plannig on posting it I just wanted to celebrate my birthday. Hope yall enjoy this chapter, I know there is like no zuko but I promise he will come, I just wanted the character to be part of the adventure instead of just plotting them down Take care of yourself nad have a nice day :)

--

taglist: @luvkvni @katovano @karmaswitch @someonesmember @velvet-spider @sh3sa1dwhat @nerdisthenewcool @meiraloves2dmen @fqnfics101 @iluvme547 @leaderwon @yukihatesreoyo @heart4hees @4l3x1s @kkissaku @corpsebridenightamare @newjellis @fatkish@pbeckn26@jasminesacademia @kyo-kyo1

[flor-de-momo]

Déjà-Vu

Summary:

Sasuke and Naruto seek an impossible peace in each other, knowing that they are the "mistake" they continue to make, and the longing that will never cease to exist.

Notes: English is not my language. Sorry for the mistakes.

Unique Chapter

The full moon illuminated the sky, and the silence was broken only by the rushing water of the waterfall. Naruto's slow steps could barely be heard, as he walked distractedly, lost in old memories. The mission he had been assigned to was successfully completed and ahead of schedule, so he had a little time. He used that time to go there between the border of the Land of Fire and the Land of Sound. His own selfish feelings brought him here, a single hope that for some reason he was here too.

Without realizing it, he arrived at their meeting point — at the top of the hill of the valley of the end, at the statues of Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha, it had been a few months since he had been here, where only the wind brought life and running water brought memories, good and bad. The blond stopped when he saw a figure leaning against the tree, the profile unmistakable, even from behind.

— Sasuke.

Sasuke turned his face slowly, his gaze filled with something indecipherable. Naruto looked at him, his "friend" was still taller and was as handsome as the last time they met, his hair was longer and his bangs fell over part of his face covering part of his beautiful onyx-colored eyes.

— Naruto. I thought you still avoided this place. — was what the brunette replied. Observing Naruto and drinking in his image, the blond still seemed as small in height as the last time, perhaps the years of neglect and malnutrition really couldn't be erased.

Naruto took a deep breath, taking a few steps forward, his heart beating fast. Despite his own hopes of finding him there, he was still truly surprised to see him.

“I avoid it. But for some reason, my feet brought me here today,” he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He had always been a terrible liar, and they both knew it.

They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. It was a bitter déjà vu, as if no time had passed, but also weighing on their shoulders.

“You don’t need a self-help book,” Naruto muttered awkwardly, a small, tired smile appearing. “You just need my scent on the back of your neck.”

Sasuke let out a bitter laugh, moving away a little, but unable to avoid the spark in his eyes. The phrase was unusual, but the meaning they represented to them was deeper, these words represented feelings deeper than the war that was happening, after all, he was the one who said them for the first time.

— You're the one who needs to hear it, Naruto. It's easy for you to say this now, but... Don't forget the reason for the end. — Naruto clenched his fists, feeling a tightness in his chest. He knew. The distance, the revenge, the war, the choices each of them made. Despite the feelings that united them, the one that somehow made them come back here even after everything, it always broke him into pieces, and now all that was left was to try to put the pieces back together. Because it had been happening for some time and still Sasuke didn't give up on his own revenge for him, for them.

— I never wanted to leave your life, you know that. — He replied, his eyes as blue as the cloudless sky filled with tears. Despite what people believe, it was still his choice to try to end these encounters. Even if in the end he couldn't.

— And I never wanted you to leave — Sasuke replied, with sincere bitterness. — But in the end... I was the one who ruined everything, wasn't I? — the brunette asked, even though he didn't really need an answer, because he knew.

Naruto sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, unable to look away. Sasuke was the thorn in his soul, a pain he insisted on feeling, a mistake he would repeat if necessary. They loved each other in a way that seemed wrong, but nothing would ever compare to the intensity of that connection.

— Damn it, Sasuke. Why does it always end like this with us? — Naruto asked, almost in a whisper. A small tear ran down his face, which the blond quickly wiped away.

— I know it's a bad feeling. And even so... that's what I want to feel. — Naruto always tried, really tried to stay away from the other romantically. But he was Naruto Uzumaki after all.

Sasuke looked away, his expression closed, but Naruto knew the other's dark gaze well. It was an internal war that neither of them could win.

— Because we are like that, Naruto. — Sasuke closed his eyes, as if searching for the right words. — I am that never again that you want to repeat. That mistake that you will make again. And I will let you go because I am too selfish to really let you go.

Naruto stepped closer, the tension between them palpable. Sasuke's low voice sent chills down his spine, and he wished his words were all he needed to hear.

— So be selfish and let me stay in your life for once, teme. Just one last time. I promise I won't ask for anything else.

Sasuke hesitated, and for a moment, Naruto almost saw a hint of vulnerability in that face. Taking a step forward, Sasuke leaned in, bringing his face closer to Naruto's neck, smelling the familiar scent, his heart beating faster than he cared to admit.

— You know, Naruto... If I really let you into my life now, it'll be my fault. — Sasuke replied. — And you know why.

— And maybe it's a mistake worth making. — Naruto hugged him.

The silence between them was broken only by the sound of close breathing. Naruto felt the other's warmth, and at that moment he realized that the longing, as bad as it was, was a memory he didn't want to erase. Because that meant they would always come back to try to end it.

— I won't give up on my revenge, dobe. — The brunette replied softly in his ear, still hugging him, always reminding Naruto of his goal.

And like every time, Naruto simply pulled back a little to look into her eyes that were swirling red from the Sharingan.

Naruto knew that as long as he had this purpose their future would never be certain, that the pain would never go away. But in that moment, as the night enveloped the two, as always they decided to leave the world aside.

Because some pains are made to be felt again, and maybe Sasuke was the never again, that bad longing and little Déjà-Vu that Naruto would always want to repeat. Then their lips met and Sasuke kissed him and he reciprocated.

Notes:

The inspiration for this story came from the song DÉJÀ-VU by Luan Santana and Ana Castela.

https://youtu.be/Wjg6IUL2Pq4?si=9NEhaYMZXAdCeURY

Story also published on AO3

[dyns33]

Fight Club

Yes, I made a Fight Club story, Tyler x reader. Tyler Durden being a real person, and Jack another character.

I want to write a part 2 but I need to find the time.

I met Tyler Durden on a beach.

It was during a business trip. My boss had given me an afternoon of peace, and I decided to go to the beach. I have always loved the beach.

There weren't many people, but I wasn't really looking, focused on the sky, the sun, the sea.

Then he caught my attention. Without explanation, without caring about what was around him, this guy was making a giant hand with pieces of wood. He walked back and forth, passing by people without seeing them.

Then at one point he turned his gaze towards me, as if he felt that I was looking at him. We stared at each other for a few minutes, then my phone rang. My boss.

I left without speaking to him, without knowing his name, but still thinking about him before going to sleep.

Tyler remembers it, I remember it, and he doesn't know that I remember it.

I could have told him when we got on that plane.

"Hey, you're the guy who made a giant hand on the beach. I always wondered why. I think about you often. Do you want to come to my flat when we land ?"

I did not tell him. Instead, when he asked me if I wanted to trade places with him because he would have to take care of the emergency door in case of an accident, I stupidly replied that I didn't think I would be able to.

“Too scared ?”

"I mean, a bit ? Unless we're on the ground, or at sea, I don't really see how opening this door could save us. But mainly I meant that I physically couldn't do it, it seems way too heavy for me."

“The illusion of security.” he had sneered. “Most people believe it.”

“I’m not most people.”

“Why fly if you know you might die then ?”

"The same reason I leave the house instead of hiding in my bed I guess. Something can happen anywhere. And my boss kind of forced me. But still I can't wait to be in my bed."

“I can imagine that.”

We talked for the rest of the flight. He tried to get me to talk about myself, I asked him a lot of questions about himself. That was how he took out a business card with his name and number from his suitcase full of soaps.

I didn't know it was part of the game. Even though there was this little alarm in the back of my head, I didn't know there was a game yet.

It was a little clearer when I arrived home to find my building on fire. By a miracle far too foolish to be true, no one had been hurt, but my entire life had been reduced to smoke.

All I had left was my suitcase and Tyler's card.

No, that wasn't true. I had my job, my family, friends, and I could have called them for help very easily. But when I searched my bag, I found his card first, and I understood.

I understood that we were playing a game.

It's impossible to explain why, but I knew that this fire was not an accident, just like our meeting on the plane was not an accident. I had seen something in his eyes on the beach, and he thought he saw something in mine, and from that day on, Tyler Durden had followed me.

I could have called the police. I could have called someone else.

But an intense morbid curiosity screamed at me to see what he would do next. I too wanted to play a game, with rules he didn't know.

First of all, no lies.

I immediately explained to him why I was calling him, and Tyler, good Tyler, immediately offered to put me up at his place. He only indicated that the house was not in very good condition, and that his roommate was a bit grumpy.

“Not fucking Marla anymore ?” was the first thing Jack said when he saw me.

This made Tyler laugh, a nervous laugh. He seemed ready to hit his friend, who was eating cereals in his underwear in the kitchen, at three in the morning. This was obviously neither the sentence he should say, nor the behavior he should have.

It was quickly apparent that Tyler expected people to act a certain way, the way he wanted.

So that was my second rule, never do what Tyler wanted.

After the trouble Jack caused, he decided to use his phrase to tease me. Trying to confuse my mind, as he had confused the minds of his roommate, and of several people who later came to squat in the house.

But Tyler forgot that Jack's insomnia made him vulnerable, and that his many space monkeys were pretty stupid.

I wasn't, I wasn't most people. That's why he followed me.

However, I didn't immediately understand what he was doing with Marla. I thought he was fucking her so loudly to annoy Jack, because it was clear that Jack was in love even if he refused to admit it.

He was jealous of Tyler because he could touch Marla, and jealous of Marla because she had Tyler's attention.

Then I realized that he only did this when he knew I would be home, and his bed was exactly above mine.

“He likes to do it a lot from behind, it’s crazy.” Marla had said to Jack to see what reaction he would have, without noticing that I was there. “I don’t know why he likes this position so much, it’s new.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to see your face.”

"You are mean."

Jack wasn't mean. Jack was a poor little lost boy, who needed to sleep, and he was right.

In his bed, with this body beneath him, Tyler saw beyond the mattress, beyond the floor, and it wasn't Marla that he was fucking.

I was able to prove this easily by asking Jack to change rooms one day. He was surprised, because it was obvious that I had the best room of the place, after Tyler's. He was even a little upset that he didn't have this room when he arrived, a few months earlier, after his apartment exploded.

"Well, I'll leave it to you. Maybe it'll help you sleep."

He was suspicious, but also touched by the attention. He accepted, and we moved quickly, without telling anyone.

In the evening, I imagined poor Jack with his head in his pillow, while Tyler and Marla continued their concert of screams and moans.

Then, as he went down to get some water, the insomniac opened his door to beg his friend to make less noise. The reaction was immediate.

“But what are you doing here ? What are you doing in this room ?”

“Relax, we traded.”

"What ? No. No !"

Tyler went back up to his room, and we heard a creaking sound, indicating that the floor was going to keep a clear track of the bed that was being moved from one end of the room to the other, until it was right on top of mine again.

It was that night that Jack understood that I was not just a passenger he met on a plane and that Tyler had kindly agreed to help. Marla too.

She started to look at me, with her huge black eyes, but never daring to speak to me, probably because she didn't know what to say, and because she didn't want to annoy Tyler.

There was one thing they didn't know.

Tyler himself had no idea why I was here. He had brought me here, and he knew that more than anything he wanted me to open the door to his room while he was with Marla, for me to pull her by the hair and take her place. But he didn't know why.

This man was very good at manipulating others, but he was not very comfortable with his own feelings.

He considered that he had already done a lot for our relationship, whatever it was. He had seen me, he had followed me, he had spoken to me first, he had burned my building, he had offered me a roof.

In his game, it was my turn to move, for several weeks now, and my immobility was starting to irritate him.

I could have continued playing our games if it hadn't been for Project Mayhem.

As for fight club, I didn't say anything, and it had nothing to do with their rules. It was another game, one that I didn't play, and if it amused them to hit each other, that wasn't my problem.

But when the space monkeys invaded the house, whispering plans for mass destruction and leaving instructions for making bombs, I knew it was time to leave.

The game was starting to get dangerous, and a bit boring.

Maybe if I had thrown Marla out, or into Jack's bed, and kissed Tyler to stop him from giving his ridiculous orders, all this wouldn't have happened.

But I hadn't done it, because it might have served no purpose, and because I wasn't like the others, a dog that he could hiss at and run in circles.

The problem was, you couldn't leave Tyler.

He would tell you to leave, you would disappear, but it was never your decision.

The new game was therefore : find a way to escape without being followed.

A nice junkie gave me the solution. I found the body near several trash cans as I was walking home. It was raining, there was no one on the street, no one else had seen them, no one cared.

We were about the same height, we looked a bit similar. With the right clothes, leaving my bag with my papers, and burning the right body parts, it would be almost too easy.

I guess Tyler didn't want to believe it at first, when Bob came to break the news.

Space monkeys found me, totally massacred. The work of a maniac.

This wasn't part of his game, his plan, so Tyler must have been furious. He had to look for who had done it, wondering if it was one of his men, if it was Jack, if it was Marla, if it was him in a fit of madness.

Then after a while, he had to accept.

I have no idea what he did with the body. I did not wait in the area, I immediately took a bus to the most distant city, where I took another bus, without giving my name, and I settled in another state where he would never find me.

I was doing the dishes when they announced on television that an extremist group had tried to take control of the country, and that the leader had been arrested after a long series of murders and attacks.

Seeing Tyler's photo, I pictured him again on the beach, making his giant hand and looking at me. We could have been happy on this beach.

But life is shit, so I finished wiping my plate and I went to bed.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hemisi hugged herself worriedly as her parents approached her. Ganondorf wasn't entirely sure what was bothering his daughter - things had been tense since the attack, but he had just ensured peace by swearing fealty to Rauru. This was supposed to be a moment of reprieve, a time for his family to not worry as he prepared for the future.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Nabooru asked before he could.

"I haven't found Link," Hemisi said, her voice anxious. "I've been looking everywhere for him. The guards won't really tell me much."

Ganondorf fel this ire rise. The guards likely were trying to protect Link, but they had no right to refuse information to the princess of the Gerudo. Such a slight would not be ignored. Not to mention he too wanted to know where the boy was.

"Leave this to me," he said crisply, walking away.

It didn't take much time (or threatening glares) to get what he needed. Link, apparently, was on a place called Thunderhead Island, one of the Zonai lands in the sky.

"Thunderhead Island?" Nabooru repeated after Ganondorf reported back. "We'd need a construct to get us up there, right?"

"Yeah," Hemisi answered. "Link's told me about the islands lots of times. Not many are allowed on them - it's usually just the royal family and the Sheikah."

"They'll allow me," Ganondorf rumbled, crossing his arms. "I am a king."

"Yes, but that island is also fairly volatile," Nabooru argued. "I'm better with lightning magic. I should go."

Personally, Ganondorf was far more inclined to go retrieve the boy himself, but he didn't contest the matter. Nabooru seemed rather set on the issue, and some things weren't worth arguing with her. As much as he admired her determination, he also knew she would fight him for so long that Hemisi would probably just sneak off to do the deed herself, and neither parent wanted that. The girl's abilities with lightning were formidable, but she would likely cause trouble if she went alone.

"Very well," he conceded. "We'll be waiting down here."

Nodding, Nabooru grabbed a cloak and headed towards the nearest construct. At activated at her approach, acknowledging in a mechanically musical chime, "May I help you?"

"I need to get to Thunderhead Island," Nabooru said.

The construct's reply was quick as ever. "That place is restricted."

"I am the queen of the Gerudo," Nabooru replied. "I have special access."

The construct paused a moment, processing, before noting, "I will need authorization for you to go there."

"This is an emergency," Nabooru argued. "You can speak to King Rauru about it afterwards if you please, I don't care, but one of my family is up there and I need to find him."

Although the construct was programmed to gate keep, she also knew giving a sense of urgency or danger would override its usual algorithm. Predictably, the construct questioned, "Is someone in danger?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "That's what I'm trying to find out."

The Zonai machine was silent for a moment before giving an admission. "This line of logic is acceptable. I will transport you to Thunderhead Island and report the matter to King Rauru."

"You do that," she sighed. It didn't really matter of Rauru knew. Nabooru wasn't exactly keen on causing a stir within hours of Ganondorf swearing his loyalty, especially given their history, but something Hemisi's anxiety and Link's very obvious disappearance was definitely concerning. Considering the ceremony that had just happened and the celebration that had followed, Link should have been one of the first people they saw.

The construct extended its hand in front of a stone circle, and the familiar green hue of Zonai technology activated, glowing in the circle's center. Nabooru stepped forward, letting it transport her, closing her eyes as her world shifted. The air grew much colder, even more frigid than she was expecting, and she suddenly felt a little short of breath. Goddess, she'd thought the Highlands were chilly. Why was the air so much stranger here? She was shocked into opening her eyes as her cloak was immediately bombarded by a wave of rain, thunder rumbling all around her. A circular fountain of water was in front of her, surrounded by stone architecture. She walked forward, off the platform on the ground that had received her. She needed to set to work soon, already feeling a little lightheaded.

A few steps ahead it became apparent that this island wasn't just an island, but an entire chain of them. Nabooru glanced around hesitantly, looking for some kind of Zonai device to help transport her from place to place, and found none. What was Link doing here? Where was he?

Nabooru looked between pillars, on and under benches, until she'd thoroughly searched the island she was on and the few she could see. But a flash of blonde caught her attention just as she was starting to wonder if Ganondorf had been wrong, and she squinted against the rainfall to see a teenager sitting on the ground, knees tucked into his chest, wearing the attire of the palace guards combined with a headdress and Gerudo earrings gifted to him by his betrothed.

Clamping her jaw shut against the tremors that tried to make her teeth chatter, Nabooru wrapped herself more tightly in her cloak, she found a set of stairs that at least connected to this little island, moving quickly down them. Link, for whatever reason, chose to sit outside a small building, ignoring a construct nearby that was tending to a tree. The boy was soaked to the bone, red skin paint that usually adorned his exposed arm having long been washed away from his tan complexion. His red eyes were dull, hidden under platinum blonde plaits plastered to his forehead. The sparkling splendor of the Gerudo headband and earrings was dulled considerably, and his top knot was half undone in the rain.

"Link," Nabooru called a little loudly so she could be heard. "What are you doing out here?"

Link didn't seem to react all that much, or at least it wasn't apparent in this awful weather. But she heard him mutter, "You're not supposed to be here."

"Nor should you be here," Nabooru accused mildly, walking towards him. She paused short of reaching him, seeing him clam up even more. "News of our arrival has been known for at least a week. Yet on the day that Ganondorf creates peace between the Gerudo and Hyrule, you hide from us? Hemisi's been looking for you."

"Ganondorf attacked Hyrule." Link's words were sharp, dark. He was clearly still upset about the molduga assault.

Nabooru sighed. This really wasn't the place to be having this discussion - she was freezing and dizzy, and if he got any more soaked the boy would practically be a Zora. "Yes. He did. You know him, sweetheart. He likes to test his boundaries before he concedes to them. But he's conceded."

Link tucked his chin to his chest, looking away.

"Honey, the fight is over," Nabooru pressed on, stepping closer to him. "And for the first time, the Gerudo now have an alliance with Hyrule. We're a part of it - this would mean you and Hemisi don't have to hide your relationship from the public eye anymore, that there is nothing to hide anymore. This is a joyous occasion, not a reason to be moping in the rain. Come down with me so you can be with your family, love."

She finally cleared the distance between them, crouching down and putting a hand on his shoulder. Link glared moodily at the lands below, eye lashes dripping with moisture. Quietly, almost to himself, he said, "Ganondorf never concedes."

"Well, he did," Nabooru emphasized slowly. Link had not been included in the discussion of their attack on Hyrule, had been completely blindsided as Ganondorf had suggested he and Hemisi play and explore near the mines that day so they wouldn't be involved. Nabooru knew that as a member of the Sheikah tribe he would likely take it harder than most Hyrulians, but she hadn't expected quite the grudge he seemed to be holding. "Come on, love. You're freezing."

Lightning struck a small spire at the top of the building they were sitting near, making Nabooru straighten up and prepare for another strike. Thunder clapped so loudly it made her chest vibrate. Link sighed, slowly pushing to his feet. He must have been sitting for some time, swaying a little unsteadily, and Nabooru put a hand on his shoulder, pulling him inside the structure. Constructs were indoors, stoking a fire, and she approached one. "Can you take us back to the Royal Plateau?"

The little machine beeped in the affirmative, guiding them to a hover platform that sent them back to the originating island. Nabooru's hands were on Link's shoulders the entire time, feeling them tremble under her, and she pulled him close so they could share her cloak. His skin was ice cold, making her inhale sharply a little when he brushed against her exposed arms and abdomen. A headache was brewing in her forehead, and she was certainly ready to leave this dreary place.

When the pair teleported back, Ganondorf and Hemisi were there waiting for them.

"Link!" Hemisi exclaimed, rushing forward and dragging him into a hug. "You idiot, why are you soaking wet?! Where've you been?!"

"Hon, can you spare your robe?" Nabooru asked, still holding the boy to her.

Her husband complied without question, pulling off his dark outer robe and holding it out. The parents exchanged Link, one set of arms to the other, and the boy was wrapped up and held against Ganondorf quickly. He didn't argue, he didn't protest, he didn't speak as Hemisi bombarded him with questions. The king and queen exchanged a look, and the family moved towards their provided quarters in the palace.

Eventually, Link started to speak softly to his betrothed, seeming less agitated with her, and soon the two were both cuddling under Ganondorf's large garment. Nabooru moved to fetch servants so they could get him fresh clothes and some warm food, and Hemisi moved quickly to the task as well, saying she was going to grab towels.

That left Ganondorf and Link.

"So were you up there sulking the entire time since the assault?" Ganondorf finally said, getting to the point as he knelt down to the boy's eye level.

"No." Link's reply wasn't quite snappish, but it was certainly sharp, though not nearly as sharp as his eyes. Ganondorf smiled at the fire in them, the anger and force of will that refused to bow down to anything. "Just for your arrival."

"If you thought we wouldn't find you, you clearly don't know us as well as you should," Ganondorf noted with mild humor, pulling the robe over the boy's head to dry his hair. He carefully removed the pins and tie holding the top knot, tucking them into a pouch on his belt. Link didn't protest, though his gaze did drift to the floor, softening, showing the wound he'd been bearing in his heart. Ganondorf felt... more than a little exasperated, but he'd known the boy would be upset. Still... "Hold whatever grudge you wish against me, child, but do not share your ire with Hemisi. She didn't know about the attack. I suggested you two be near the mines that day for a reason."

Link sighed heavily, closing his eyes.

"The fighting is over," Ganondorf emphasized, putting weight in his voice to end this pointless adolescent moping. Then he smiled. "And now the world can know your place in our family."

The boy glanced up, hope shimmering in crimson orbs, tempered by an intelligence he often hid behind innocence and silence. "Why did you do it?"

"Why did I attack?"

"No. Why did you give up?"

"I don't give up," Ganondorf retorted a little irritatedly, pausing his ministrations.

"I know," Link immediately acknowledge firmly. "So why? You don't acknowledge defeat."

"Oh, Link," Ganondorf hummed with gentle amusement, proud of the boy's insight. He was going to make a good prince. But it would make the next months a little difficult if the king wasn't careful. "A strong warrior refuses to give up, but a wise one knows when he is defeated. I am both. It's pointless to fight a force you cannot win against."

Link still looked skeptical, confused. Ganondorf added, "How else could we build peace for you and Hemisi?"

His words seemed to catch the boy off guard. For a moment, Ganondorf really wondered if Link didn't actually think they cared, despite having spent over a year being welcomed into the family. For a moment, the king wondered if the boy really was that dull, or somehow he and his wife hadn't done something right. And then Link bit his lip, shivering, and hugged himself, clearly trying to contain emotion and not quite succeeding.

Ganondorf sighed, letting the boy be vulnerable for a moment. He pulled him close, and Link sank into the embrace, curled in against his chest.

Link would be a good prince. Ganondorf knew this. He just needed to hone the boy a little more, reassure him and teach him, let him enjoy his time with Hemisi. A war was brewing soon. It was best to enjoy this time while he could.

[links-in-time]

Imposter

I'm sure this fic was requested by an Anon. But I cannot find the request! Anyway, this has kind of evolved into a slightly longer fic but we'll see where it goes after this.

Wars feels guilty that his adventure wasn't like the others. He doesn't think he's a true hero.

"And after Rauru and Sonia's spirits helped Zelda turn back into Hylian form, I caught her in mid air and we splashed down into a lake on the surface." Wild gesticulated, as he explained the climax of his story.

The others looked on from their spots gathered around the fire. Staring at Wild with rapture and intrigue. Even Time looked more engaged with the narrative than usual.

"Of course it wasn't long after that I found you guys again. But I hope I can get back to Zelda sooner rather than later. I think we've spent long enough apart by now." Wild concluded, his eyes falling to gaze into the fire.

"Wow! Two adventures and so close to one another." Wind observed, eyes wide while he had listened to Wild's tale.

"Yeah, I barely held myself together when my Zelda was taken by Demise. I don't know if I could have coped with going through that a second time." Sky sighed, gripping his sailcloth a little tighter around his shoulders.

"Two adventures is nothing, wait until you have a few more under your belt then I'll be more interested in your antics Champion!" Legend scoffed, taking a swig from his canteen.

"Just because you've had more adventures than the rest of us, doesn't make ours any less significant," Four pointed out, staring daggers at the Vet.

At that moment, Twilight happened to glance across the fire at Wars, who had remained odly quiet throughout Wild's story, and their present conversation. He sat a little outside the circle around the fire. A canteen in his hands and his bowl of stew half eaten on the ground beside him.

This wasn't particularly odd or interesting. Wars often forgot to finish his food. Lost in thought or stressing over the rest of the Chain. Always looking out for everyone else and letting his own needs slide. Twilight made a mental note to make sure Wars ate a good breakfast in the morning.

"Alright that's enough chat for one night," Time insisted, rising to his feet and giving his back a crack as he stretched. "Wars, who's on first watch?"

A few of them looked to Wars for his answer, but he didn't respond.

"Warriors?" Time asked again, then a little louder, "Captain?!"

Wars jerked to attention, so violently that he dropped his canteen, which landed with a clatter against his bowl.

"Ah, shit! What's going on?" He asked, staring around until his eyes rested on Time.

"It's bed time Cap, who's on first watch tonight?" Time asked again, a little slower.

"Oh, er it's Sky's watch first tonight." Wars replied, drawing up his pre-arranged watch schedule in his brain.

"Right, you heard the man, Sky you're on watch. Everyone else get some shut eye. We'll break camp in the morning," Time announced, before spreading out his bed roll and curling up for the night.

The others wandered to their beds in dribs and drabs, until Sky was the only one left beside the fire. He added a few more sticks and branches to keep the warm blaze aglo. His eyes drifted over the sleeping forms of his brother's and he smiled at the peaceful expressions on most of their faces. Though he noticed however that Wars appeared not to have fallen asleep.

He turned over on his bed roll and he caught Sky staring at him. With a heavy sigh Wars sat up and stretched his neck.

"I gotta go water a tree," he sighed, before heaving himself off the ground and wandering a little way away from camp to relieve himself.

When Wars returned he sat down near the fire instead of laying back down in his bed roll.

"Something on your mind Cap?" Sky asked quietly.

"Nothing much," Wars shrugged. A lie of course, but he didn't feel like talking about his feelings.

"You wanna talk about it?" Sky asked cautiously. He knew Warriors wasn't one for feelings talk, but he thought it worth asking anyway.

"Not really," Wars huffed.

They sat in silence for a while longer. Sky dragged his bag over to where he sat and pulled out his latest project. He had picked up an interesting looking branch in Wild's era. It had a beautiful grain of swirling grey hues and Sky was in the process of carving it into what Wars could tell was going to be a fish. He almsot told him to put it away. Hobbies were a distraction for whoever was on watch. But Wars stopped himself. They were both awake, what harm would it do to endulge sky in his hobby.

Wars watched Sky's hands work the wood over with his whittling knife. Carefully and deliberately removing strips of wood here and there. He was surprised by how long Sky took to make each cut. Turning the wood over and over in his hands before making a decision. Wars had always seen Sky as somewhat impulsive. Nowhere near as much as Hyrule or Wild, but there was still a child-like wonder about the young man.

"Argh!"

Both pairs of eyes shot towards Twilight as the man sat upright in his bedroll. Panting hard, Twilight pressed his palms into his eyes to push back the tears singing there. He sat for a moment while his breathing evened out and eventually his hands dropped into his lap. When Twilight glanced around he spotted Wars and Sky staring at him with mingled expressions of pity and concern.

"Nightmare," he mumbled, rubbing one of his eyes again.

"You okay?" Wars asked.

"Yeah, just," Twi paused and panted a little, sounding breathless, "think I might stay up for a while."

Twilight untangled himself from his bedroll. He always managed to get his legs wrapped up in his blanket. Then wandered back over to the fire. He plonked himself down close to Wars and sighed.

"Either of you have anything to drink? My water-skin is empty. Was gonna fill it up in the morning." Twilight asked, looking between Wars and Sky.

"Take mine." Wars insisted. Pulling out his canteen and offering it towards Twilight. "I filled it up while Wild was cooking supper."

"So that's where you disappeared to earlier," Twi remarked, taking the metal canteen gratefully.

He took a few swigs, occasionally shooting Wars a sideways glance.

"I didn't disappear," Wars protested. "I told Time I was going to get water and check there perimeter."

"I thought Four was checking the camp perimeter earlier?" Sky spoke up, pausing his carving work for a moment.

"Never hurts for two people to do a sweep," Wars pointed out, though he knew it was a pretty flimsy excuse.

"You don't trust Four to do a check?" Twi asked, eyebrow raised.

"No, no, no, not at all. That's not what I meant. Of course I trust Four. I trust all of you. I just... I like doing the perimeter check. It puts my mind at ease when I know for sure that we're safe."

The others looked at him sceptically. They had been travelling on this quest together for almost a month now. Trust had been a difficult thing for each of them to build. Turns out Heros tend to have a bit of a hero complex. Realising that each of the Links could take care of themselves and didn't need shielding during each battle had been a long lesson for all of them to learn.

Warriors was used to working in a team, but he was also used to leading. Being in charge. Being responsible. Those urges were proving difficult to let go of. He had other urges when it came to his friends. Specifically the two men seated around the fire with him. But he was definitely not going to do anything about that. Not unless they showed any sign of reciprocating those urges. Wars shook his head a little and scratched the back of his neck.

"Look, goddess knows I don't mean to offend anyone. I just like doing things the way I know how. And I get uneasy when I'm uncertain," Wars tried to explain without giving away too much.

"I understand that," Sky sighed. He set down his carving and his tools and folded his hands in his lap. "After I rescued Zelda I was still so paranoid. I used to patrol Skyloft each evening before we slept, even though there weren't any more monsters. When we used to stay on the surface I'd do the same thing. Walking around our camp until sunset. It took me a long time to feel safe again"

"Colin used to catch me staring up at the sky. I wouldn't realise I was doing it until he pointed it out. I was looking for Twilight portals. Unconsciously waiting for those beasts to fall from the sky and attack. I still do it from time to time. But not so much anymore."

Wars looked between Twilight and Sky, both briefly lost in their own thoughts. It seemed everyone else had been pulled into this adventure a long time after their own quests. While it had only been a few weeks since the end of the war. Only a few weeks since he had said goodbye to Mask and Tune. Time's past, Wind's future. His mess.

"I guess it's been a long time since I had much peace." Wars sighed.

Twilight reached out and laid a hand on Wars' arm. Wars glanced down at it, at the scars on Twi's hand, the roughness of his fingers. Part of him wished his clothes weren't in the way, the other was surprised Twilight had touched him at all.

"I hope it's not long before you do," Twilight uttered.

He fixed Wars with a gentle gaze, but a piercing one. Twilight's dark eyes met War's bright blue ones and something passed between them. A genuine feeling which knocked Wars back a little.

"Every hero deserves peace. We'll make sure you find it when this is all over Captain," Sky insisted, smiling a little brighter now.

"Thanks, but I don't really think I qualify anymore," Wars sighed, gently pulling his arm away from Twilight's grip.

"What are you talking about?" Twilight frowned, taken aback.

"I'm not..." Wars hesitated.

Was he really going to tell them how he felt? How Legend's teasing made him feel. How inadequate he felt compared to the rest of them. The reasoning behind his extra patrols and his constant mothering of them all. Apparently he was.

"I'm not like the rest of you. I'm not a real Hero."

Silence descended over their camp. Heavy and ringing with Wars' words. Sky and Twilight exchanged a look Wars didn't see. A moment later they looked back at their companion, head hanging and tears threatening hot and heavy behind his closed eyes.

"What's made you think that Link?" Twilight broke the silence.

Wars was surprised to hear Twi use his name. It had been a long time since they adopted their nicknames and he was so used to hearing it by now that his own name shocked him slightly. On Twilight's lips though it sounded soft and gentle.

"It's not such a stretch really. Legend's defeated Ganon a hundred times, Hyrule rescued two princesses, Time fought a Deamon! I did what any Captain devoted to his country would do. I lead my troops, I was loyal to my princess and those things helped us win the war. Nothing I did was special. I may have the Hero's spirit, but other than that my adventure pales in comparison to the rest of you. I didn't have to solve any clever puzzles to prove my worth. And to top it all off Ganon tricked us into getting his hands on the whole Triforce! What a failure of a Hero I turned out to be. Hylia must have been so proud." Wars scoffed.

He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, drawing in on himself. Again there was a short silence and this time Sky broke it.

"You wanna talk about being a failure?!" Sky exclaimed, fixing Wars with a hard stare. "I'm the one who got you all cursed in the first place. All because I was to weak to kill my enemy."

"Now that's nonsense if ever I heard it," Twilight protested. "Showing mercy is never a weakness Sky, you know that."

"Yeah, still doesn't make Demise's curse any less real does it. Anyway, that's not the point. The point I was trying to make was, Wars, you're not the only one who Ganon tricked or hoodwinked into getting what he wanted."

"Ain't that the truth. And who says you're not a hero because your adventure was so different to ours? And fuck Legend!" Twilight exclaimed. "He may have more quests under his belt, but he's never been responsible for anyone but himself. You lead armies, Wars. I can't say I'd have the knowledge or the skill to do that. I didn't know hardly anything about fighting when I started out. I had to learn it all on the way. Hylia would have been lucky to have you instead of me to save my time."

The sound of his name had roused Legend. One eye open he kept his back to the fire to listen to the rest of their conversation in secret.

"Legend's right though. I wouldn't know the first thing about how to escape a dungeon if I got stuck in one." Wars continued, mumbling into his scarf.

"Legend talks too much. And if you ask me I think Hylia chose the nine of us for a reason," Sky replied, hands on his hips.

"What do you mean?" Wars lifted his head a little.

"Well, there's definitely been more than nine heros in the history of Hyrule. From the stories you lot have told there must be tens of us throughout history. I remember Wild telling us the legend of the hero who fought Calamity Ganon a thousand years before his time. So I think the nine of us were chosen for a special reason." Sky explained.

As he spoke he shifted his gaze between Wars and Twilight, watching their expressions change from confusion slowly to understanding.

"So why do you think she chose me? A lackluster hero fresh off the battlefield." Wars huffed.

"Hey! There's nothing lackluster about ya Wars!" Twilight insisted, once again fixing him beneath his gaze.

"I think she chose you because of your particular skills. You're right when you say you're not like the rest of us. None of us has ever trained to work as a team before. None of us had to follow orders during our adventures but we sure as hell have benefited from it so far. Without your careful planning I'm sure we would have had a lot worse injuries to date." Sky furthered his explanation.

Wars started to see what Sky was getting at. It was true the other Links lacked any discipline, except perhaps for Sky and Time. But Wars knew what kind of little gremlin still resided inside the Old Man. It was also true that he had fallen into the role of strategist and second in command to Time. Who everyone essentially only followed because he was the oldest and most serious.

"Imagine if we just let Wild and Hyrule loose in a fight without one of your plans?" Twilight raised an eyebrow and gave Wars a knowing look.

Wars remembered the first few times they had fought monsters as a group. Wild and Hyrule's skills were undeniable, but by Hylia were they untamed. Wild had almost hit Sky as he unleashed a flurry of arrows into a hoard of bokoblins. With Sky in the middle. And Hyrule had summoned up a torrent of fire whish set the surrounding field ablaze. Wars shuddered.

"Okay I get your point there," he inclined his head a little and relaxed his posture a bit more.

"I agree with Sky," Twilight nodded. "I think we're all together for a reason. Quest or not, each of us brings somethin the rest don't have. It doesn't matter one bit you didn't get an adventure like the rest of us. You fought a fucking war! And if there's any justice in this world you'll be rewarded for your bravery."

Wars felt the tears burning afresh behind his eyes. This time however he didn't feel quite so sorry for himself.

"And dungeons aren't all Legend cracks them up to be anyway. They're deadly and annoying," Sky huffed.

"I can't tell you how many times I walked in and out of the same room trying to figure out where I was supposed to be going," Twilight added.

"Urgh! Getting lost is a pain!"

"Okay, I don't feel like I missed out quite so much now." Wars chuckled, dropping his knees to sit cross legged.

"Absolutely not, I wouldn't wish crawling through a dungeon or a temple upon anyone!" Twilight replied, adding his own laughter.

Wars felt, lighter somehow. Just talking to Twilight and Sky had settled the storm in his heart. He still wanted to be closer to them, but talking in confidence about his own fears and trepidations felt like enough for now.

"Thanks for listening guys. I think it helped."

"You're still gonna do extra patrols though, aren't you?" Twilight asked with a teasing note in his voice.

"Well, maybe," Wars admitted.

Sky and Twilight laughed and Wars enjoyed the music of their mirth.

"But only because I want to make sure you're all safe. I... I care about all of you. Even Legend. I know you can all take care of yourselves. I'd never deny that. I just, need to know you're safe." Wars tried to explain, feeling stupid again.

"We understand," Twilight urged. "If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can do whatever you need to."

"Speaking of needs, Sky, why don't you go to bed. I can see you hiding your yawn, it's not very subtle." Wars insisted, inclining his head towards Sky's bedroll.

"My shifts not over yet," Sky protested, his jaw snapping shut.

"It's okay. Twilight and I can finish yours and take the next one. Get some sleep Sky."

"As long as you're sure," Sky double checked, hands on his knees.

"I'm sure. And thank you Sky. I didn't realise how much I needed to talk," Wars replied. "Seems that's something we all share."

Sky gave him a nod before returning his things to his pack and rising to his feet.

"We're allways here if you need us Wars," said Sky, before he made the short walk to his bedroll and laid down.

Wars heard his breathing even out and a light snore escape Sky's lips only minutes after his head hit the ground.

"How does he do that?" Twi asked.

"I have no idea. But I think it's his skill I'm most jealous of."

They both chuckled, keeping their voices low. Once again Twilight caught Wars' eye, but suddenly dropped his gaze.

"Everything okay there Rancher?" Wars asked, trying to find Twilight's gaze again. But Twilight kept them deliberately down cast.

"Yeah, I was starin' sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry Twi. I've caught myself staring at you before..." the words were out before Wars could stop them.

They both froze. Wars found now that he was looking at Twilight, he couldn't look away. While Twilight's eyes were fixed on the grass in front of him. Neither of them knew what to say. Didn't know if they should say anything at all. The minutes stretched on and on and the fire crackled in the silence. Just when he thought he couldn't bare it any longer, Wars heard Twilight speaking softly.

"I noticed you lookin'." He said quietly, tentatively. "But I thought I was imagining it. Didn't think you'd be interested in someone like me."

"Wait what?" Wars frowned, he wasn't quite following Twilight.

"Didn't think a well put together city guy like you, would be interested in some farm hand like me."

"That's what you...? Twilight, I..." Wars tried to find the words to say what he wanted. But his brain seemed to be malfunctioning.

"S'okay. You don't have to say anything."

"Twi," Wars said softly. "I noticed you almost as soon as we met. I just didn't let myself think about it too much."

"Really?" Twilight asked, finally looking up at Wars beside him.

"Really."

At that moment they both realised just how closely they were sitting. Only a few inches between Wars' knee and twilight's thigh. Twilight made the first move, shuffling a little closer so that their legs were touching. Wars' breath hitched slightly at the contact and he stared at the place where they touched.

"This okay?" Twilight asked gently, eyeing Wars' reaction.

"Yeah, besides, it's kinda chilly tonight. And I'm not very tired."

"Yeah it is, shall I grab a blanket?" Twi asked.

"Mmm, no it's okay. You're pretty hot. I mean warm! You're body temperature is pretty warm!" Wars replied, stumbling over his words as he pressed his side into Twilight's body.

Twilight was warm and solid and the air between them felt slightly charged as Twilight chuckled. When Twilight slowly wrapped his arm around Warriors' shoulders, he felt safer than he had done in a very long time. Not just on his current misadventure, but since before the war. A warmth rose up within him. A feeling of peace and security. The weight on his shoulders lifted, as though Twilight's arm had shifted it aside.

"I didn't realise you were a cuddler," Twilight chuckled, the sound reverberating in his chest.

"Hmm, there's a lot you don't necessarily know about me Rancher," Wars replied, his eyelids drooping.

"I'd love to know you better Cap," Twi replied, speaking softly close to Wars' ear.

"Easy Twi, are you sure Sky is really asleep?"

"Would it be so terrible if he wasn't?" Twi teased.

"Maybe not," Wars considered. "I'm feeling warmer now."

"Good, wouldn't want our handsomest Link to catch a cold." Twi almost giggled, nudging Wars' blushing ear with his nose.

"Here I was thinking the same thing about you."

Twilight grinned broadly, showing his slightly exaggerated canines.

"So you think I'm handsome?"

Twilight's earlier shyness had evaporated. Something primal and possessive seemed to have come over him. Wars felt the shift in his friends body language and the tone of his voice. It tugged at his core, at his own desires. However, surrounded by the rest of the Chain, presumably sleeping soundly around them, they were stuck.

"And what if I do?" Wars asked in return.

"I'd say you needed to get your eyes tested, but that you're cute for saying so," Twilight chuckled.

Wars found his easy laughter endeering and he found himself smiling in return. Twilight shifted his head a little so they were facing each other more directly. His forehead rested gently against Wars'.

"Can I kiss you? I've been wanting to for ages. But I'll only do it if you say yes," Twilight asked, his words barely more than a whisper.

Wars' heart raced, though Twilight's eyes were closed he felt pinned by his gaze. As if Twi's question had shot through to his soul. A soul they supposedly shared. Wars parted his lips to speak, his breath hot and a little ragged.

"Yes, I'd like that."

Twilight hesitated just a moment longer and Wars thought he might have changed his mind. Then their noses brushed against one another. Then Twilight's lips touched Wars'. While Wars' lips were rather thin Twilight's were full and lush. He covered Wars' mouth with his own, gently claiming his lips. Wars' core trembled, but he kept his body still.

Twilight's arm around his neck rooted him to the ground. The warm lips against his stirred feelings he had long pushed deep down. Wars began to kiss back, moving his lips in a gentle dance, with Twilight as his partner. The Rancher drew back for a second, catching his breath. Wars tried to chase his warmth, but he didn't go far.

"Well... didn't know what kind of reaction I was expectin' but it sure wasn't this." Twilight chuckled, running a hand through his unruly hair.

"You feel so good Twi, I could kiss you forever," Wars huffed, drawing air into his starving lungs like he was drowning.

"You too. But I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be on watch. Or doesn't the Captain care about that sort of thing anymore?" Twilight gave Wars a lopsided smile which almost stole his breath again.

"Weeeell," Wars considered, his two halves at war in his brain. "We could just, cuddle together for now?" He felt stupid saying it and he could sense Twilight's amusement at his words.

"I think that's the funniest thing I've ever heard you say," Twilight laughed, pulling away a little more.

"Twi," Wars groaned, shoulders slumping.

"I'm sorry." Twi sighed. "Turns out you're fun to tease."

"And here I thought you were trying to make me feel better tonight," Wars pouted.

Twi was suddenly very close, his lips grazing Wars' blushing ears.

"You wait until we can get some privacy, and I'll make you feel the best you've ever felt in your life."